#lie to me would involve
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When I tell you I have been thinking about this for three days straight...
#there's almost no hesitation there in dao#he says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world#he wholeheartedly believes it would be The Right Thing#but in dai even after everything...#no matter what stage the relationship is at#GAH#I know this is like the bare minimum but FUCK#it gives me feels okay#I believe he wouldn't be able to do it#I mean I say that as someone with an abomination inquisitor but like#if you eavesdrop on courier convos you can experience him befriending Cole in real time so#I feel like he's at that stage where he's slowly understanding that everything he's been fed was a lie#and he has trouble re-contextualising his worldview to fit that new reality#especially with all the shit he's been involved in#dragon age#cullen rutherford
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the funniest thing about the "call us jaladdin" line is that i have not stopped referring to the two of them as jaladdin since watching rise of red for the first time
#like i have called them ājasmine and aladdinā ONCE#and it's just been ājaladdinā ever since#i'm giving them what they want#also the more i listen to life is sweeter (which is a lot i've been up this soundtrack's ass) the less i hear 'c' sound in ācallā#and the more i hear the famously misheard āho it's jaladdinā NO#maybe if they were actually involved in the plot i would refer to them as their names#rise of red#the rise of red#descendants#descendants the rise of red#descendants rise of red#descendants: the rise of red#NO I'M SERIOUS WE NEED TO DWINDLE THESE TAGS DOWN TO LIKE TWO#also me saying that i wouldn't post about rise of red was apparently a bold-faced lie (she did not lie she was just incorrect)
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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Reading The Infinite and the Divine has been the polar opposite experience from what Iām used to when recommended media with a good duo in it. Instead of being promised a bunch of scenes that turn out to absolutely not be canon, Iām learning that every single meme about these two is actually a canon thing Orikan and Trazyn argue their way into.
The Statler and Waldorf jokes are not just a goof, they actually disguise themselves as humans and go get coffee and go to the opera together and send passive aggressive letters and drag each other to court twice and try to kill each other at least once a chapter and chuckle at the meteor storm murder attempts and choke each other out while smirking and send the weird fuckmonster to attack while the other one is fifteen years deep in meditation-
#I dunno this is just plain hitting right#Itās that good zone where I think some folks would argue that it isnāt a romance#but itās exactly the sort of dynamic Iām always looking for in fiction#itās what Iām always trying to write#Iām not done with the audiobook yet but Iām having such a good time#Two awful old men involving the galaxy in their fatiguing nemesiship#Trazyn apologizing in the theatre box has me worried though not gonna lie#I love what appears to be the implication that both of them have had the same pre-death memories coded into their hard drives#both of them arguing over forty thousand years over the exact same trauma#chefās kiss
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Was thinking of how I've seen Lucifer called the Prince of Lies and have now become obsessed with the idea of Lucifer never technically lying. He'll tell half truths, he'll omit, he'll misdirect, he'll avoid, and he'll distract, but he won't ever outright lie. Of course, this doesn't mean he's telling the truth either.
#fic titled prince of lies thats 5 times lucifer didn't lie + 1 time he told the truth WHEN#<- me @ me#of course one of the times would involve alastor thinking he's got an advantage on the king because a man like THAT#obviously cant lie to save his life. only to realize he's been outmaneuvered. maybe just plain maneuvered like a chess piece rip alastor lol#lucifer hazbin hotel#my posts
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The way this fandom treats Sunny and Qibli really frustrates me, and I know a lot of the time it's because this fandom (unsurprisingly) skews younger but it really demonstrates to me that people really don't understand what trauma can do and how when people say "traumatized people can act very differently", people don't actually internalize what that means.
#it's old news but it really eats at me#I want to analyze sunny/qibli thru being childhood abuse survivors and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I do#also it would involve me talking abt traumatizing experiences in my life and that's wayyy too vulnerable for my dragon book blog#idk if ppl want it I will deliver but for now I'm just gonna be salty#I won't lie it's genuinely one of the reasons I've drifted away from wof#the popularity of evil Qibli aus on tumblr and ignoring Sunny as a main character makes it harder for me to enjoy the tumblr wof fandom
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there are judgment boys in my head so specific.
#judgement boy royale and judgement boy deluxe my... uh. .um. figure it out. related to the prehotel+preguest jb in my mind#gregory horror show#ghs#judgement boy#judgment boy#beebfreeb art tag#judgement boy is MY *grits teeth* ''Just like me FR'' character of all time. it is very embarrassing for me. he has ocd btw if you evencare#he was a prosecuting attorney who very rarely went to trial and instead was mostly involved w plea deals. To Me. and i hate him. ā”#(he is my best friend i know him hes in my house rn he says hi. would i ever lie to you?)#papercraft#judgement royale
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Scrooge: can I trust you, Goldie?
Goldie: if you like. But whereās the fun in that
#and she meant that#bec babygirls idea of a good time is lies and deceit#Scrooge loves trust#but if heās being honest#itās sexy that Goldie is super untrustworthy#and Goldie would rather die than be boring and predictable and trUsTwoRtHy#like boooo#let her lie#and cheat#and deceive#bec itās wayyy more fun#for her#for me#for all parties involved#(well mostly me and her)#Goldie Goldie Goldie#sheās the best#I want to give her kisses#then help her commit a felony ļæ¼#goldie o'gilt#scrooge mcduck#ducktales#scroldie#incorrect quotes
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Girl who rear-ended me left me on read for a week after I sent her an estimate and is now claiming sheās not the one who did the damage. Lmao
#(laughing bc otherwise I will scream and cry)#still donāt have her insurance info so I will either need to get her to hand it over or get law enforcement involved#which I shouldāve done in the first plave#especially since she refused to give me her insurance info#but whatever#sheās saying I should just let her go through my insurance so SHE can have a cheaper deductibleā¦ girl#first of all you donāt even know what MY deductible is#second I donāt know that youāre actually gonna pay it bc you sure donāt seem like you want to#and third why would I care about you saving money š you hit my car and are trying to lie to me about it!!#ALSO fourth thatās not even. how this works. like. the insurance companies are supposed to decide that between one another#sighhhhh#anyway. waiting for the bus and then Iām gonna go get groceries#I need to cope (eat chocolate) and I donāt have any at home š#also I have homework due tonight fml#I just spent like five hours in opera rehearsal#AND I still need to figure out what Iām gonna text this girl back. Iām gonna wait til I get home probably#ellyposting
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Okay I think I am going to take a short socials break after this but I just wanted to make a few points.
1. As I said, you have all been so incredibly sweet and itās super heartwarming and I donāt know what I would have done without yāall rallying behind me
2. Please nobody send hate to Marcia, and donāt send hate to the original poster either, that will just fan the flames (I donāt think any of yāall have been or would, I just want to make where I stand on this clear!)
3. I donāt think Marcia had malicious intent retweeting it ā especially given her taking it down relatively quickly. The fault lies with the person who posted the original tweet. That being said, after all of this, I have some very complicated feelings regarding Marcia and I ask that that be respected, for me and anyone else who feels that way. I donāt think any of us hate her or wish her ill will, and once this is less imminent I may go back to stanning her, idk! But for now I have very complicated mixed uncomfortable emotions surrounding her and I think I am allowed to feel that way given that whatever fallout there is will inevitably center around me, and I am fucking terrified about that fact.
4. Again I love you all and Iām so grateful for how sweet you have all been. I may pop in here and there to message friends but I probably wonāt be posting much if at all for a bit, and Iām gonna go on a bit of a writing hiatus while I figure out next steps
I love you all and I love this community and I hope that this is all a blip in the past soon, but for now I need to prioritize my safety and wellbeing and that means separating myself a bit š
Okay this got long but. I love you all, Iāll be back before you know it <333
#uh#idk how to tag this#marciagate#Marcia ficgate#rawnsyf#running away will never set you free#Rachel vomits out emotion#I canāt lie to you all I never actually considered sending hate to the poster but god being petty would feel so good rn#but no I have to be a mature responsible adult and not do that#also that would prolong the issue like I said#anyways#I will also not be on twitter so genuinely please let me know if thereās any updates or anything happens#hopefully there wonāt be but with YouTubers getting involved I have my concerns#but! thank you all for how welcoming and loving you have been to me over this past year :)#this is not the end of Rachel sexynetra#pinky promise
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4x02 - The Old Sugarman Place
4x11 - Time's Arrow
#the parallels. THE PARALLELS#honey's last lucid conversation with her daughter being her urging the latter not to love anyone#thus leading her to become the cynical uncaring asshole she was to bojack#and beatrice's last lucid conversation with her son being her keeping up the latter's nice little lie to her#so that everyone involved would feel good for at least a little while#this fucking show. man#it's fucking me up and fucking me over#bojack horseman#(also yes I'm aware the subtitles look like dogshit but I don't have Photoshop to make them look pretty so I did what I could lmao)
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Never have I been more grateful that time travel exists in the X-Men universe.
#marvel#x-men 97#spoilers#...don't read my tags XD#most of the spoilers will be down here#i liked the x-men cartoon since i was a kid in the 90s#but i can't lie i mostly watched it for specific characters#if an episode didn't have any of those characters involved the chances of me enjoying it went down significantly#wasn't universal but a pretty darn good bet you know?#they gave me morph back for which i am grateful#and rogue has been my Best Girl TM for decades#but i swear i would be developing a sudden loss of interest after the latest episode if not for the whole#'this sort of thing almost never sticks in comics' and we literally saw cable right before crap hit the fan#now maybe it won't be time travel#maybe there's some other comic book story that could be used here that i'm unfamiliar with#(i know very little in regards to x-men comics - my heart resides with the batfam)#but either way being Old and Jaded is seriously working in my favor right now so i'll take it XD#(the end totally got me though like uuuuuuuuuuugh noooooooooo whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy *cries*)
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So frustrating to me how people (at least in this corner of the internet) have the tendency to assume that any piece of writing published anonymously that deals with upsetting/revolting subject matter must be entirely autobiographical and therefore is not to be treated like "real" literature. Right now I'm thinking about The Incest Diary and blowfly girl's stories, but they're not the only examples of course. This notion that these topics are so unthinkable that nobody would ever have any reason to write about them unless it's a 1:1 recollection of an experience they've personally had is just so unhelpful to anyone idk. And the thing is that even if these texts are 100% autobiographical, that doesn't mean they don't have literary value? That they can't be analyzed and discussed intertextually. That they weren't constructed with deliberate effort and skill and creativity and imagination and a ton of research. Etc etc. This treatment just feels so dismissive. And at the end of the day "did this really happen?" isn't even a question worth asking if the answer being "yes" sends the work in question into off-limits/untouchable territory as far as literary criticism and interpretation go, while "no" relegates it to something twisted and perverse because "who in their right mind would be capable of making this up" šš hi does anyone get me for the love of god hello
#ppl honest to god believing that the blowfly girl stories could not possibly be fiction because they're too messed up and why would someone#lie about that#like we haven't lived together through several utterly insane stories involving rabies and hiv and my immortal and whatever else#like come on.#but anyway that's besides the point#i pet thy head foul beast#jane prentiss + blowfly girl the only women ever#TO ME
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>W.09880-INT: Outcome unpredictable.
Six months ago, X met the Abel City quarantine zone Mavericks. Five months ago, X came back to them, this time for good. Now he has friends he can trust; a home in which he's needed and supported, disabilities and all; partners who care about his well-being; and the freedom, finally, to make his own decisions about his life and purposeāso why isn't he happy yet? Meanwhile, the outside world has its own designs on his new home, while anti-reploid sentiment is at a historic high despite the end of the Maverick War and even the Hunters have to play politics to stay off the scrap heap. As the Abel City Quarantine Zone Reclamation Plan kicks off and the residents of I.04053-REC: Home region registered. search the lost labyrinth of the old Abel Undercity for a way out, X learns the hard way that the past won't be buried so easily, the future waits for no man or reploid, that recovery is neither quick nor linear...and that in the underground spider's web of the world behind the world, some ghosts are very, very real. Maybe someday he'll actually get that nap, but today is just not going his way. Tomorrow isn't looking so good, either, but at least this time he's not alone.
Yeah, the first chapter of this will be going up soon. :) I'll keep everyone posted. Probably via incoherent screeching and pointing, but you know. I think we are all very used to me Being Like This About It by now.
#Nevi Writes#you can trust the smiley face obviously#nothing bad ever happens when there's a smiley face involved#this is a true statement that you can and should believe and I would never lie to you#okay I have to go bed now. it's almost 5 again. end me#writers on tumblr#writeblr#mega man x#mmx#rockman x#megaman x
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lying to a kid about if theyre adopted should be classified as abuse and no j am not joking
#abused adoptee#adoption#adoptee voices#to clarify i was never lied to. i knew as early as i can remember#but i work with a kid who was raised thinking her mother was her older sister.#shes seemingly chill about it but you can tell#and even so thats just so fucked up#you hear of people finding out through dna tests#of the adopters waiting till (specific) birthday to tell them -- usually after 18.#im sure even people who arent adopted can sympathize with how awful that would be#to find out your entire life is a lie overnight#especially for medical concerns. all the medical history yourlve come to accept as fact (grandma has diabetes aunt judy has dementia etc)#is suddenly wrong. now you dont know what you are or arent predisposed to. you dont know what tests you shouldve taken#your ancestry and ethnicity could be wrong#i knew i was adopted but they never told me i was hispanic. they kept it from me.#i thought i was pure british like them because im not super tan and have blonde hair#sometimes it's done under the guise of 'keeping peace'or 'saving them from the burden of knowing'#but really--it's all about control#most people dont like to talk about it but a good portion of adoptive situations involve control freaks.#this is from my own personal experience#almost every adopter i know is a control freak.#half of the adopters i know personally adopted just for the manual labor and a scape goat.#this is what my adopters did#to completely take away someones truth and deny them their own history--even after youve taken their legal rights.#oftentimes youve taken their entire names#like that is so vile#it really is#adoptees deserve the right to know theyre adopted. to know their biological familys medica history (if possible)#to be able to contact their biological family if they choose so#to be able to denounce the adopters as their parents or family
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yaay
#sprites changing in response to finding out that the thing they thought would stop the loops will not stop the loops :)#no more chirping back at birds...rip#i won't lie i half suspected that the kid would draw siffrin :( in the team portrait. i think that would have caused them damage#i'm still trying to balance how much i want to jump back and forth in loop points vs doing the whole castle over again#i should probably be killing myself more often for efficiency. and also maybe calling loop more for dialogue?#i don't want to miss stuff but the feeling that doing it this way is also causing me to miss stuff#because i'm sure if i skipped more dialogue that would also give a slightly different nuance to the dialogues. augh#ein babbles#kind of curious to know. since siffrin has (potentially plot relevant?) Memory Problems.#if i equip a memory that isn't ''memory of self'' does that do anything. given what looping tropes generally involve#and the stress on ''as long as i have a job i can keep going'' etc.#and you know. the ghosts/'reflections' in the hallways sometimes and siffrin's instinctive jump to comparing them to Sadness + 'remnants'#maybe after a few more loops if i replace self with memories of looping...#oh siffrin closes their eyes like they're sleeping when they get frozen now. fuck yeah#chewing on the story. i wonder if the record scratch ''you already have this item'' and the warning to not act suspicious is going to come#to a head. and also how many acts there are left to cover stuff#it's also very fun that since sif is the only one who keeps levels while looping the more loops they go through the closer they get to#being able to like. one-shot the sadness mobs in the castle. especially with an attack from each craft. love mechanics that reflect charact#thinking about that book in the library or secret library? that had a big shiny tree on it that we couldn't read. and the password and the#book in the dormant library we also couldn't read. big tree probably the favor tree? maybe related to the island no one can think about wit#out a headache? which might be like the loop record scratch? removed from time vs siffrin and the king's respective time crafts?#not to mention the party member side quests <3#i just started act 3 if this somehow shows up in tags no one tell me anything. unless maybe if i definitely already missed something#the way i keep misspelling dormont as dormant due to. well. the obvious lmao#wait. i want to be able to find this again. sorry everyone#isat blogging
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