#license to science

[arconinternet]

Neuromancer (C64/DOS, Interplay, 1988/1989)

You can play it in your browser here. Controls for the DOS version include the mouse; keyboard controls can be found in the reviews below the game. C64 controls include numpad 84620 for joystick.

[aoitakumi8148]

𝟛 of 𝟛.

‘𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 ~ 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝, 𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.’

[softichill]

The Sounds of Nightmares unofficial transcript

Chapter 4 - Two of a Kind

(As always, made with the help of @queen0fm0nsterz!!!)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

--------------

[CLICK]

[Something is booted up] 

OTTO: Duality. A notion essential to psychology. We all contain a multitude of personas and change proverbial masks to match our present situations. [Shifting] The body is the container for this legion within, allowing us to maintain the important illusion of a singular self, the very basis of human experience. In Noone, there lies both the innocent child and the disturbed traveler. Both fight for control. But what happens when the duality is not only in the mind?

[Click]

Recording of NOONE: “T…Two breaths. Why could I hear him breathing? Why could I feel them breathing? My body was sh–”

[Tape is cut off with a click]

OTTO: Given her vanishings, I fear it is not only her inner self which has become subject to division, but her body as well. One child, torn between two worlds… Either I have lost my marbles, or we tread ever deeper into territories beyond the boundaries of rational thought. 

[Click, tape rewinds]

[Intro plays]

[Click can be heard twice. Young voices scream joyfully in the background, muffled through a wall] 

NOONE: Otto? What is this place?

OTTO: The reunion room. 

NOONE: Is that cake they’re eating? May I have some? Can I go in there?

OTTO: I’m sorry, you may only watch. My colleagues don’t allow inpatients to mingle with outpatients. …Those who are ready to go home to their families, I mean. Sit tight, and I’ll get you some cake. 

[Otto walks away] 

OTTO, distant, fading: Get me a piece of cake. Piece of cake? Get me a piece of cake… [Door closes]

[Otto walks back in]

OTTO: There! A fine chocolatey slice.

NOONE: They’re not waving back…

OTTO: Ah, it’s a two-way mirror. We can observe them but they can’t observe us. …(inhales) I’d – like to ask about last night. 

NOONE, eating: Mh? Last night?

OTTO: You were in bed with the brain activity monitor on. One moment you were there, and the next – gone! Where… did you go?

NOONE: I don’t understand… 

OTTO: (inhales) I watched you myself so I know you didn’t get up and leave the room. 

NOONE: Wasn’t I asleep? I don’t recall any of this. 

OTTO: ...You vanished, Noone. 

NOONE: Huh? 

OTTO: I – I thought I might have been mistaken at first, but the E.E.G. readings persisted, as if you were still there. Several minutes lapsed, then you reappeared. 

NOONE, distressed: That makes no sense!

OTTO: This wasn’t an isolated event.

NOONE, even more distressed: What do you mean, I can’t just — [raising her voice] people just don’t disappear! [breathing heavily] You’re supposed to help me! You’re supposed to understand… 

[Noone breathes hard in the background, on the verge of a panic attack] 

OTTO: And yet neither of us do! It’s a major event, a bonafide anomaly. That’s why you must be sure that –

NOONE, interrupting: Is there some kind of trick?!

OTTO: It’s alright. [Noone is still breathing hard] Look at me. Focus on my eyes. Breathe. Noone, slowly. 

[Noone’s breaths slow down slightly] 

OTTO, under his breath: Breathe, two, three… Hold, two, three… Out, two, three…

[Noone follows his instructions, breathes slower] 

OTTO: That’s it. That’s a girl. 

[Noone stops breathing hard]

OTTO: Better?

NOONE: … Why did you take me here, Otto? 

OTTO: I know solitude can be hard, and visualization is essential to developing beliefs that will –

NOONE: It’s being alone I hate. It’s being lonely.

OTTO: And I’m showing that, one day, you’ll be in the reunion room too! Just as relieved as those children, sharing cake rather than eating it by yourself. But you have to trust my process, even when it’s difficult for you to grasp. 

NOONE: (Sigh) I understand more than you think.

OTTO: … Yes. I suspect so too. Hidden somewhere in your head. Come along! We’ve got preparations to make before tonight’s session.

NOONE: …Can we stay here? A minute longer?

OTTO: (Sigh) Alright. Just until you finish that slice. 

[The recording stops momentarily and picks up mid sentence] 

NOONE: – o many wires! T-They’re everywhere!

[Strapping, Otto preparing the machine] 

OTTO: It’s the same E.E.G. machine I use to monitor your sleeping brain, only now I’d like to acquire readings during wakefulness, during your retelling to compare results.

NOONE: My last doctor made me do things like this all the time. [Otto prepping] Tubes into my stomach… I– I don’t much like being awake for tests and proddings. 

OTTO: [hums] These electrodes may feel strange on your scalp, but there’s no pain. Nothing to worry about. If anxiety rears its head, take deep breaths. Same as earlier, yes?

NOONE: I– I’m not sure –

OTTO, interrupting: (slightly strained) Trust, remember? 

[Shifting. The machine boots up, activates and Noone winces] 

OTTO: Not so bad, is it? 

NOONE: Can we get this over with?

OTTO: Of course! Begin as you like. 

NOONE, narrating: I spun out of a dark place, and brilliant lights sparkled around. Then, far off laughter, and screams. But… screams of joy. Gathering my head, I… I saw other kids sitting on wooden crates nearby. As I approached, they were surprised to see me, but introduced themselves one by one. 

[Quiet music begins, machine can still be heard]

NOONE, narrating: They were performers, they said. Each with different skills and talents. Juggling, fire breathing, trapy-something… 

OTTO, correcting her: Trapeze?

NOONE: Trapeze! That’s what he said. (narrating) The boy called Rusty, he – he walked tightrope too. There were caravans all around: wooden ones, big yellow wheels, and all these colorful fabrics. I noticed the lights again. Fairy lights, shining down into the puddles from the rain that cleared before I’d arrived. Their reflection, swirling in the murky water, like a ballet. It was… beautiful.

NOONE: (sighs) As I lost focus, the others went on talking, fast and loud as teenagers do.

OTTO, interrupting again: Teenagers? And how long have they been there, performing in this place?

NOONE: Please, Otto! Let me get through it.

[Shifting. The carnival grows louder and distorted speech can be heard]

NOONE, narrating: From the way they looked, they’d been there a long time. But they were confident, or tried to be, and kind. As the clouds parted, Rusty asked if I wanted to go on a ride.

RUSTY, in the background, ov. with Noone: “Wanna go on a ride?”

NOONE: He said,

RUSTY, bg., ov. with Noone: “It’s the best one, because it lets you see clearly.”

NOONE: So, I said yes, feeling… a part of their gang. I’ve never had that before.

[Carnival games and music, steps]

NOONE: We passed by games and silly booths until we came to… the giant wheel. [The ferris wheel creaks] We climbed into the seats in pairs, me and Rusty taking the last cart. 

[Sitting, the wheel creaks again]

NOONE: It went so high up that… I could see the whole carnival. It was… unnaturally high, like – like we were in the sky itself. [Wind blows, music quiets] Rusty pointed to these tall wooden polls, like- masts on a ship, as if that answered where we were, but… how could a ship be in the air? Rusty saw my face full of questions and said,

RUSTY, ov. with NOONE: “Look down, not out. You won’t feel sick that way, and we haven't much time.”

[Wind blows]

NOONE: I… I remember feeling, for a moment, things were OK. On the giant wheel, for the first time in such a long time I… I felt… happy. But, Rusty… he suddenly seemed so sad. His voice shifted and he continued, 

RUSTY, ov. with NOONE: “That massive tent there, that’s the Big Top.”

NOONE: He said we’d be going there soon because him and his friends had a show to put on. I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway: “You don’t like performing, do you.” He looked glum for a moment before replying: “I hate it.” When I asked why he does it, Rusty mumbled to himself, 

RUSTY, bg.: I…

NOONE: … But I couldn’t hear with the wind so loud. Finally Rusty turned and said, 

RUSTY, ov. with Noone: “They force us. And whatever they say, goes.”

NOONE: I didn’t know who “they” were, but a bad feeling came over me and… I understood why we were really on that wheel. Because, all the way up there, he could say what was in his heart without worrying about being heard. 

[Creaking wood] 

NOONE: As the wheel came around, he began explaining very fast how him and his friends had been planning. Rusty wanted me to be part of a special show, where they would try something they’d never done before. He told me that my job was to be lookout. That if… I saw a man in a purple suit, I needed to give him the sign while he walked the tightrope. I asked, “Is this the man who makes you put on shows?” Without really answering, Rusty kept talking. 

RUSTY, ov. with Noone: “In the spotlight, some glow, while others shrivel into shadows. We glow, and do as told, or…”

NOONE: He didn’t finish the thought, but, I understood. The times I was on TV, I’d have done anything to avoid all those lights. So I said, “A simple sign won’t do. I’ll have to shout. A code only we’ll understand. How about… Big Top?” He agreed it was a good idea and I realized he didn’t tell me what they were planning, but… when I saw him staring out at the clouds, I asked, “You mean to escape, don’t you? The carnival?” And he quickly said, 

RUSTY, ov. with NOONE: “This entire… rotten world.” 

[Silence. Narration stops.] 

[Machine whirring]

OTTO: Was the boy expressing knowledge of a world beyond this carnival?

NOONE: I hadn’t thought about it until now, but… I guess so. And, I felt that too. 

OTTO: Then – All the places you’ve been are one and the same?

NOONE: Sort of. It’s like how this basement is connected to the upper floors, but don’t work- together.

OTTO: Why didn’t you ever express this before?!

NOONE: What’s so impo– 

OTTO, interrupting: You’ve sensed that the dreams you visit hold a tangible, sustained existence?! That these spaces are objective!? Physically… there?!

NOONE: I — uh, I think so? I don’t know how it works, but… it feels that way, yes. …Do you finally believe me?

OTTO: Giving the mere thought validity would have my license revoked! Yet I admit there’s potential that what you say is true. It offers some explanation of your… spiriting away, last night. 

[Pause, machine running in the background]

OTTO: …I’d need to see it for myself. 

NOONE: See it yourself?! You’re supposed to help me avoid going there!

OTTO: I need to reach it with you! To find that… quidity of consciousness we spoke of!

NOONE: Why would you want that?

OTTO: …

NOONE: How can I trust you if you don’t answer my questions sometimes?! It isn’t fair!

OTTO: (Sigh) …I… I lost someone dear to me, you understand? A long time ago. …Part of me believes that they may be there. 

NOONE: (Upset) So that’s the reason you’re so fascinated by me, isn’t it?! [Starting to breathe hard again] That’s why you have me do- all these tests and experiments, to find them!

OTTO: Now you’re the one being unfair. 

NOONE: Well, you can’t even get there!

OTTO: Why not?!

[Noone’s breathing quiets, still upset]

NOONE: …it’s Nowhere. 

OTTO: Nowhere? What do you mean??

NOONE: It’s a place… that Is… and Isn’t. 

OTTO: Did the boy, [stuttering] Rusty, say that? The Candleman??

NOONE: Neither. 

OTTO: I can’t help you if you hide things from me. 

NOONE: I tell you everything! You know what’s in my brain- more than I do!

NOONE: [breathing harder] There’s things on my head. 

OTTO: Breathe, Noone… breathe…breathe. Deep. Follow my rhythm. 

[Noone and Otto take deep breaths, pulsing notes rise in the background]

OTTO: Alright, okay. If the theatrics are done, we must press on. 

NOONE: I want to stop. 

OTTO: The sooner you finish, the sooner we’ll be free. 

[Noone pauses, takes a few more deep breaths]

NOONE, narrating: We went to the Big Top. Rusty, and the others got all dressed up. In- amazing costumes. Black and white with sparkles. And another in… a fancy red coat. 

NOONE: Rusty lead me round to the towering stage, placing me in the front, saying,

RUSTY, ov. with NOONE: “Best seats in the house.”

NOONE: I felt… so special. [distant music starts] Until, Rusty looked around, with that worried face again. Without another word, he went backstage, as the crowd started pouring in. 

[Distorted speech]

NOONE: These… “people”... were the wrong shape. Faces like… bad drawings come alive. [thunk] One sat down in the seat to my left, eating… [crunching] a candy apple. It… it stank horribly [Dream!Noone gags] and, the center was mushy and raw.

NOONE: These… plump bodies filled the seats, too big for them, crushing and… spilling into one another. [Crunching and chewing] At the same time stuffing their faces with- rancid snacks, all grisly and chewy. I thought to throw up, but, as the lights dropped, [lights shutting off] everything went still. 

[Pause, light turns on]

NOONE: Then… [drumroll, faint trumpet] a spotlight [cheering] illuminated the stage, and the kid in a red coat walked to the middle. He put on amazing magic tricks, [whoosh] that almost made me forget where I was. For his final trick, he waved around the swirling cloak, smoke spilling out, and topped off with a bang! [sparkles pop, cheering] 

NOONE: When cloak dropped, he had disappeared, [whooshing] and in his place, were two different kids. They had sticks near their mouths, blowing fire. That did it for the crowd. [Distorted cheering gets louder] Then I remembered– I was playing lookout! But I saw no man in a purple suit, and I was distracted as the firebreathers finished and, jugglers came on. 

[More cheering]

NOONE: They took the flaming sticks from their friends, and threw them so high in the air, [Dream!Noone cheering] I… I found myself cheering with the crowd! [Dream!Noone clapping and cheering] And then the lights went down again, [click, drumroll] marking the final act. 

NOONE: (Quiet) The spotlight blared again, shining at the top of the tent. Way up… standing at one end of a rope between two ladders… was Rusty. The others stopped, staring in complete quiet. He started walking… slowly… then with more confidence. The silent went on too long, like we were all under a spell. And… that’s when I noticed… [quiet breathing] something beside me, in the seat that had been empty a moment ago. 

OTTO: (incredibly distant) The man in the purple suit?

NOONE: I heard him before I saw him. [breathing] T…Two breaths. Why could I hear him breathing? Why could I feel them breathing? My was shaking but, his attention was on Rusty. 

[Cheering, Dream!Noone gasps]

NOONE: Noticing that I wasn’t cheering, the man turned. He had no eyes. But I felt him look at me. How can someone with no eyes look at you?

[More breathing, cheering picks up again]

NOONE: Then, I saw a smaller man in his lap. [A smaller, faster set of breathing starts] A- dummy, only… he wasn’t made of wood or plastic, and had hair atop a lumpy face where… a wider mouth had been carved out. Unlike the man, the puppet had eyes, staring at the spotlight above. 

NOONE: Suddenly the crowd burst into a cheer, [cheering] as Rusty reached the middle of the rope, but, the dummy’s face crinkled, full of hate- wanting those cheers for himself. I was the only one not clapping, and he turned to face me. I’m not sure if they spoke, or- if it was in my head, but with a smile, they invited me to be part of the show. 

NOONE: [Cheering gets louder] That’s when I shouted “Big Top! Big Top!” But the crowd was booming! Rusty made it across the rope, but… but instead of climbing down the ladder he began climbing towards a small cut in the fabric at the top of the tent. I turn back… and the man was still there, limp, but his dummy… his dummy was… [Noone’s breathing picks up] gone, right near- Rusty–

NOONE: [Breathing heavily now] “BIG TOP!” I tried to scream– tearing my throat, but– I had no breath!– And then– [Attempts a deep breath] I saw the dummy– It’s lumpy face peering out from the shadows– at the top of the tent– Waiting for Rusty. 

[Ambience become more intense]

NOONE: The man beside me grew shy– both loving the praise, and– regretting the attention. [Noone’s breathing gets faster, ambience picks up] I can hear him breathing again– between breaths– (unintelligible)*– I tried and tried to shout but– it was too late!– Rusty was finally out of the spotlight!– And the tiny doll man lunged!– And– Rusty!– Rusty–

OTTO: [Dream ambience suddenly stops, loud machinery] Did he escape, did he manage?

NOONE, not narrating: Get this thing!– off my head!!

OTTO: Was Rusty able to get away?!

NOONE: [Hyperventilating] NO I DON’T LIKE IT! Rusty!!–

[Noone continues hyperventilating, machinery gets louder]

OTTO: Okay- okay okay- alright, alright, deeep breaths. Deeeep breaths, follow me. Like this now, one-

NOONE: AAA! TWO!! BIG TOP!!

[Otto attempting to get Noone to breathe, Noone having a panic attack]

OTTO: Slow down, slow down, slow down- breathe. 

NOONE: RUSTY!! TWO!!! TWO!!! 

OTTO: Just breathe-

NOONE: BIG TOP!! THE BIG TOP!!! 

OTTO: Two… three… One… two… 

NOONE: Deep breaths– One– One body**–

[machinery suddenly shuts down]

OTTO: Noone? [suddenly standing up] Noone! Noone!

[Shifting, moving furniture, crashing. Audio cuts]

[Pause]

[Click, audio starts] 

OTTO: Mercifully, the only irreparable damage this evening was the wound cut in Noone’s confidence towards me. (Inhale) What concerns me more is the lack of detail in her retelling. A step backwards, which may be the result of her preoccupation with the testing equipment. 

OTTO: Her body dysmorphia was exacerbated. That celebrity doctor’s to blame, whatever he put her through. And all those poor children… but it’s causing her to become furtive. 

[pen clicks, paper rustling]

OTTO: I’ve exhumed the journals published by my outer circle of colleagues, with whom I’ve lost touch. [pages turning] While I previously entertained the possibility of a multitude of realms, a singular space seems more probable, and in line with their transcendental musings. 

[Closes paper]

OTTO: While their studies are conjecture, I can no longer deny the empirical signs pointing towards such peripheral existence! Why then, are my senses unable to perceive it whatsoever? There’s a veil up. Ha! Yes, like a two-way mirror. Only I’m the one stuck on the side of blind, deaf, and dumb ignorance. 

OTTO: (sigh) And the lurking presence of the Ferryman. While he may be a master of dream manipulation, he’s no denizen here. Noone said it many sessions ago: He does not belong in our world. And yet, he’s the connective tissue. I am determined to find his arcane hinterland- to cross into the place she calls… “Nowhere.”

[Outro plays]

--------------

*It's really hard for me to hear what she says here, sorry!

**Take this with a grain of salt, I'm not entirely sure I heard right

[chloe-of-astora]

I love you people who make open source libraries and release it to the public domain.

I love you people who make open source libraries and make it just one header file.

You are saving my tiny brain from having to comprehend licenses and form having to work with complicated include structures or building libraries.

[kazanskys-mitchell]

i want to be writing but instead i’m doing my biology assignments like a good college student 😔

[yoddhasblog]

RCI, you dumb group of idiots

[personinthepalace]

Otis remembers the 21st night of September

[nogendermoretrees]

Found myself driving behind a flat-Earther today

[newvegascowboy]

I have an oc that I've done literally nothing with but in my half awake sleep state this morning, it came to me. His vibe is literally just "dude from Miami".

[orcelito]

I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement

It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao

[spiritshaydra]

I fucking love the dumpster fire that’s the Nemesis crew <3

[pinktuals]

just saw someone say the us is weird for requiring librarians to have degrees in library science because in their (the commentor's) country, anybody off the street could be a librarian and that is the norm. um, no it fucking shouldn't, man. you'd be running a pretty fucked up library if you just hired someone off the streets with no library science education 🧍🏽‍♀️

[aoitakumi8148]

𝟙 of 𝟛.

‘𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫, 𝐨'𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞...’

[sentmail]

hrm... scientist!kunsel...

[dracolizardlars]

Tomorrow mum is going into the office and I am going to be alone in the house with some guy who's installing a new door! I am extremely fucking stressed and hate this immensely!

Context: I already met him today. He's the retired father of one of my mum's coworkers. I have had absolutely no fear, ever, in my entire life, of being attacked by a man.

You know what I do have fear of?

Having to make small talk with and play hostess for people in my fucking house.

I am going to scream.

[lewishcmilton]

how do people not know what their blood type is......