#lexi fucking rants

[florvaine]

tbh im losing my will to write bc all the cc's that i used to watch/did watch have been revealed to be terrible people that no part of me can support.

this is gonna be a bit of a rant of everything i stand on during this

support, send love and stand with shelby, alice, caiti, lexie, em, andi, moonzy and others taking a stand and finally showing the true colours of these 'men'. at the same time support, send love and stand with others that came out/were forced to talk about their experiences with this topic before such as cellbit, jack and niki. also show love for those standing up with the victims and supporting them no matter what - aimsy, billzo, max, ranboo, harry, etc. etc.

NOBODY who supports people like wilbur, illumina, george, sapnap, dream, punz, draggie and other 'influencers' who use their platforms for these horrific actions is welcome on my blog. i do not care if youre 'waiting for a response' - you have picked a side by doing that, whether you'd like to hear that or not, and it is not the victims. these 'men' are R4PISTS, ENABLERS, ABUSERS, RACISTS.

THIS ISNT DRAMA. the things these 'men' are saying theyve been revealed of doing - not accused, accused means 'claiming someone has done something wrong' - in this situation it is FACTUAL. the experiences these women have gone through do not deserve to be watered down to just 'internet drama' or 'twitter drama'. these 'men' have done ILLEGAL ACTS and deserve to rot behind bars for getting off on the manipulation, abuse and exploitation of these women, and i hope they get the justice they deserve for their actions.

a common thread between the majority of these cases is the theme of consent and alcohol. seems like the british attackers werent there for the tea video. the moment someone has alcohol in their bloodstream, they cannot consent. whether they have had one drink or 20, or if both parties are drunk, there is not consent. if there is not a clear, uncoerced, uninfulenced and solid 'yes' then there is not consent and it is assault/r4pe. this is not my opinion, this is THE LAW.

it is not your fault if you 'couldnt tell'. with wilbur, yes, he frequently used the 'tragic artist' role in his songs, but at the time it was said BY HIM to be a character, this is supported by his e-girl trilogy and the fact he said himself he was PLAYING an incel character. he is a manipulator, and the rest of the 'men' are liars too. they all sat behind screens showing a version of themselves best suited to gathering fame, and didnt feel bad about flipping completely when the streams or cameras turned off. HOWEVER, it is YOUR FAULT if you still support the 'men'. people saying 'he saved me' or 'he wouldnt do this' - MOTHERFUCKER HE JUST DID?? HELLO?? yes, it can be hard letting go of someone/something you loved, but it has to be done. i didnt want to get rid of a barbie when i was younger because playing with it made me happy, but i did anyways and guess what? i got over it. you do not know these 'men'. YOU ARE NOT LOSING A REAL LIFE FRIEND, YOU ARE LOSING A TOXIC, PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP.

for the (few) people who might see this and go 'whyre you so pressed' - i have experienced my own trauma in the past and that is all i will say, i do not owe it to you to go into full miniscule detail about what happened. hearing all the people i grew up watching doing the same things that i have and still am effected by today makes me feel sick, that isnt a metaphor either, it brings up bad memories and makes it even harder to detatch yourself from these situations. these 'men' have done irreversible actions. whilst it may have given them a sick minute of pleasure, it has haunted and traumatised these women for the rest of their lives. they are only 'apologising' or 'addressing' their actions because they do not want to lose their platforms. since the start their fans have only been a number, and the second that number drops they get all panicky and try do all the damage control they can. DO NOT SUPPORT THESE 'MEN'. SUPPORT THE VICTIMS. caiti shelby alice lexie em andi moonzy

i think im done with my rant. more might have to be added idk tho. bye bye

[spacedlexi]

saw your reply about wanting to draw s1 and s2 art more often, would literally die for Lee and Carley in your style... i skim through your stuff often as well, probably one of my top three fav styles, and cant wait for your post s4 clemvi story, i know ill enjoy that as much as i do your art. have a nice holiday and happy new year friend :)

ive drawn lee before so if you mean more in a shippy sense then.. possibly? (im partial to both lee/carley and lee/lilly myself 😏 like i see it) i need to draw carley anyway im making a promise to myself to draw the ladies from the other seasons at Least once..because i love them and they get no attention (except for when theyre getting yelled at amirite). fucked up women of twdg my beloveds

so much kenny nick and luke art out there i will bring balance to the ecosystem 😔🙏

byut shdfkshjkd 🥺💕 THANK YOU!!! im excited to finally finish it and im making illustrations to go with it as well i just havent decided how many to do yet. i hope you have a happy new year too anon!!

[banesberry-anomoly]

✨ Spicy pillow ✨

is that good

[novascharms]

MY STRANGE ADDICTION - RAFE CAMERON

dealer! rafe cameron x maddy perez

Maddy Perez has never been addicted to drugs—nor will she ever be. Her only addiction is the campus dealer she just can't seem to shake off and no matter how hard she tries to break free, she keeps getting pulled back into his orbit.

w.c — 3.7 c.w — mention of drugs, mention of alcohol, biting, (i guess?), they should each have a warning cause they're both kinda crazy tbh  a.n — had a dream about this and couldn't sleep until i wrote it sooo ya. maddy is my favourite character in the world, i was obsessed with her when euphoria was at its peak and i think the news that they started filming s3 x ongoing rafe obsession resulted in this odd ass dream lol.

maddy catches her situationship with another girl and has a very maddy-type reaction. <3

"Press your lips together so I can get the edges," Maddy murmured, leaning in closer as she worked the lipliner over Lexi's mouth with practiced precision. The muted hum of music thumped behind the bathroom's closed door, its bassline vibrating faintly underfoot. Cassie's voice, animated and shrill, pierced through the barrier as she paced, launching into yet another rant about some guy from another university who was “totally playing hard to get.”

The chaos was palpable—music, chatter, Cassie’s dramatics—but none of it phased Maddy. She was in her element, zoning out distractions with a skill so refined it felt second nature. Her steady hand glided over Lexi’s lips, guided more by instinct than concentration. Perfecting makeup had never felt like work to her, even amid the din of college parties and frenetic energy of their friend group.

"Cass, he didn’t even see you. None of us saw him," Kat drawled, fidgeting with the zipper on her tight leather skirt. Cassie let out a dramatic whine, the kind that always managed to teeter between endearing and irritating. Maddy glanced at Lexi, and the two exchanged a knowing look, subtle smiles tugging at their lips as if they’d been through this same routine with Cassie a hundred times before.

"I should just walk up to him!" Cassie declared, spinning on her heel with a flair of determination. "I’ll make him acknowledge me. I mean, I did go down on him last week. He owes me that much!" Her kitten heels lay discarded in the corner, her bare feet padding restlessly across the tiled floor as if trying to burn off her frustration.

"Bitch, don't do that." Maddy said flatly, rolling her eyes as she reached for a tube of gloss to finish Lexi’s lips. "You’re not chasing him. Let him come to you. Show him you’re not interested—it’s the only way these guys ever learn." She stood back to inspect her work, gesturing for Lexi to press her lips together a few more times before turning to face Cassie.

"Reverse psychology? That still works?" Cassie asked, her voice cracking slightly as her frustration morphed into the beginnings of an ugly cry. Her wide eyes glistened, teetering on the edge of melodrama.

"You give them too much credit," Maddy said dryly, folding her arms as she leaned against the counter. "Most of them don’t think with anything but their dick." She smirked

Maddy would know.

Hers unfortunately did think with his brain which meant reverse psychology didn't exactly work the way she wanted it too sometimes. The problem with trying to make Rafe jealous when he pissed her off was that he was unpredictable.

Sometimes it worked, turned on his possessiveness and lead to nights where he’d scoop her up, take her home and fuck her senseless all night long with the added benefit of his frustration making the sex that much better.

Other times, it backfired spectacularly. He’d disappear, turning his attention to another girl just to prove she didn’t have the upper hand. Atleast not always.

It would never last though—any kind of distance they forced between the two of them. She'd been attending Oakland University for two years now. Her second year was coming to an end and this thing between her and Rafe started near the end of her first year. They'd never gone longer than three weeks without sleeping together since the moment she met him. He scratched an itch no one else could.

"Why does he even matter that much? Did he even go down on you?" Lexi’s dry question broke through Maddy’s thoughts, and Cassie turned to her sister with an expression of pure outrage.

"Obviously, he’s going to!" Cassie snapped, her tone implying that anything less would be unthinkable. Lexi just shook her head and turned back to the mirror, fussing with a stray curl in her hair.

"Can we just go?" Kat groaned, wiggling her empty glass. "I’m losing my buzz here." She shoved the bathroom door open, and the music hit them like a wave, the bassline pounding so hard it reverberated in Maddy’s chest. The hallway outside was hazy with cigarette smoke, the air thick and alive with the chaotic energy of the party.

The house was alive, pulsing with an electric energy that seemed to multiply in the time they’d spent in the bathroom. The hallways were packed, bodies pressed together in a chaotic blend of dancing and drunken attempts at conversation, voices raised to compete with the pounding music. The bass reverberated through the walls, a steady thrum that seemed to sync with the heartbeat of the party.

“I need a refill!” Maddy announced, weaving her way toward the bar with an easy, practiced confidence. The barman spotted her immediately, his expression lighting up with more interest than professionalism as she slid her empty glass onto the counter. She flashed him a tipsy, knowing smile, and he raised his brows, the corner of his mouth quirking into a teasing grin as he poured her another vodka cranberry.

Before she could take the first sip, a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. She didn’t have to look to know it was Cassie. "I want shots!" Cassie squealed, her voice slicing through the music and landing directly in Maddy’s ear. Maddy winced, tilting her head to the side to escape the assault. “You heard her! Let’s do some shots!” she called, summoning the rest of their group to the bar.

The girls crowded around, each reaching for one of the freshly poured shot glasses lined up on the counter. “Okay, just down it. It’s like ripping off a bandage,” Kat coached, casting a glance at Lexi, who stared at the clear liquid as though it might rise up and attack her.

“Yeah, if the bandage is a burning throat,” Maddy quipped, earning a loud, theatrical sigh from Lexi.

“On three!” Cassie hollered, lifting her glass as the others followed suit. Maddy held her shot, but her attention was already drifting. Her gaze swept across the room, scanning the throng of partygoers until it landed on a figure that made her stomach tighten.

"One, two, three! Down it!" Cassie shouted, and the girls tilted their glasses back in unison—except for Maddy. Her hand hovered, forgotten, as her focus locked on a familiar frame descending the staircase.

Rafe. She’d know that silhouette anywhere, the sharp lines of his jaw, the way he carried himself like the world owed him something. But what snagged her attention more than his presence was the girl trailing behind him—a redhead in a short dress that clung to her like a second skin.

Maddy’s jaw tightened as she took in the signs. His shirt, slightly rumpled. His hair, a little damp with sweat. His lips, faintly swollen. And then, of course, the glaring evidence: a fresh hickey blooming on the side of his neck.

Her chest constricted as she watched him stroll into the living room, sliding effortlessly back into the fold of his friends. He sat, casual and unaffected, accepting a wad of cash from one of them as though he hadn’t just left some girl upstairs. He didn’t even glance at the redhead, who hovered for a moment before practically squeezing herself onto the couch like she had every right to be there.

Maddy’s fingers curled tightly around her glass. She could feel the heat rising in her, anger coiling in her chest like a snake ready to strike. She had a few options.

She could take the high road, pretend not to care. Let Rafe do whatever the fuck he wanted and maybe even give in to the flirtations of the bartender who’d been undressing her with his eyes all night. He was cute, sure.

Or, she could storm over there, drag the redhead off Rafe by her hair, and cause a scene so explosive it would have everyone talking for weeks. That would make Rafe the angriest. If there was one thing Rafe hated, it was public drama, especially at parties like this where his reputation mattered.

But her favorite option? The one she’d perfected over the past year? Make him jealous. Find someone else—anyone else—and put on a show right in front of him. Let him stew in his own possessiveness, watch his jaw tighten and his eyes darken. She could almost hear the messages he’d send later, each one angrier and more desperate than the last.

Her decision solidified the moment the redhead crossed a line. With a faux-casual air, the girl shifted closer, draping her leg firmly over Rafe’s, her hand trailing up his arm like she owned him. Maddy’s blood boiled, her grip tightening until the glass felt like it might shatter in her hand.

That did it, Maddy thought as she pushed through the crowd, weaving between bodies and a fleeting thought crosses her mind: she almost pitied the redhead. Almost. Because if she hadn’t made that little move, Maddy might’ve just gone home with the bartender and everyone would've had a great time.

Too late now. The girl had stepped into a minefield, and Maddy was about to detonate it.

Maddy barely registered Kat’s voice calling after her, pleading for her to stop, but it was too late. The haze of fury that gripped her was deafening, and her focus had narrowed to a single point: the girl’s leg, still comfortably draped over Rafe’s like she belonged there. And Rafe, the absolute dickhead, wasn’t doing a damn thing to stop it.

Rafe didn’t notice her at first, too absorbed in conversation with someone behind him—probably a customer. Typical. He was always “on the clock,” even at a party. But Anthony, one of his close friends and someone Maddy knew all too well, caught sight of her approach. He nudged Rafe just as she reached them.

Without hesitation, Maddy’s fingers sank into the girl’s short strawberry-red hair, yanking her upright with a swift, brutal motion. A gasp rippled through the group. “Maddy—” Rafe started, finally snapping out of his oblivion, but the sharp edge of her smile cut him off. She could tell by the look on his face that she’d pissed him off the moment he laid eyes on her. And that? That was deeply satisfying.

“Am I interrupting?” Maddy’s voice dripped with venom, loud enough to be heard over the thrum of music. Her gaze flicked between Rafe and the girl, who was now squirming under her grip like a cornered animal. “You and your girlfriend enjoying your fucked-up idea of a date?”

The girl screeched, clawing at Maddy’s wrist to free herself, but Maddy’s hold didn’t falter. She twisted her hand tighter, like a leash, and ignored her entirely.

“What the hell are you doing?” Rafe demanded, his tone sharp but controlled. She noted, with satisfaction, that he didn’t spare the redhead so much as a glance. He knew her well enough to realize that would only escalate things further.

Maddy’s eyes flashed as she stepped closer, forcing him to look down at her. “What the fuck are you doing?” she snapped, her voice cutting through the air like a whip. She didn’t care that he towered over her, didn’t care that he could easily shove her aside. He wouldn’t. He never did.

“Got your dick wet?” she hissed, her hand shooting up to press her sharp nails into the hickey on his neck. “You satisfied?”

Rafe rolled his eyes and caught her wrist, his grip firm but not painful. “Let her go,” he warned, his voice dropping lower. “Don’t be fucking difficult, Maddy.”

She hummed mockingly, as though she were actually considering his request. Then, with a cruel yank, she pulled the girl closer until they were eye to eye. “Did he fuck you?” she asked coldly, ignoring Rafe’s exasperated sigh beside her.

The girl’s eyes filled with angry tears, her face contorted with frustration. Every time she tried to fight back, Maddy would twist her hair harder, forcing her to sway painfully in the direction of Maddy’s grip. “Twice,” the girl spat, her voice trembling with defiance.

For a moment, it felt like the entire room went silent. Of course, it hadn’t, but Maddy had always been good at tuning out background noise. All she could hear was the sound of her own breathing and Rafe muttering a curse under his breath.

With a shove, she released the girl, sending her stumbling backward into the crowd. The redhead didn’t matter. She never did. Maddy’s fury was directed elsewhere.

She turned to Rafe, her grin sharp and dangerous. “That good, huh? She so good you just had to hit it twice? Fucking asshole!” Her hand shot out, shoving him hard in the chest.

Rafe barely budged, but his expression darkened. “Maddy,” he started, but she didn’t let him finish. He caught her wrists to stop her, but she wrenched herself free.

“You wanna fuck other people and then act crazy when I do the same?” she shouted, her laughter incredulous and biting. “That’s how we’re gonna play this?”

“There’s a difference!” Rafe shot back, his voice rising as he stepped closer, closing the space between them. “Grinding on some guy right in front of me isn’t the same as me hooking up with someone at a party you weren’t even supposed to be at!”

Maddy scoffed, her eyes blazing. “Oh, so it’s only okay if I do it behind your back? Good to know! Fucking great! I’ve got a whole list of people I need to bang, in that case!” She tried to shove past him, but his arm shot out, barring her path.

“Don’t,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

“Get your fucking hands off me, Cameron!” she snapped, thrashing against his grip. She managed to scratch his forearm in the process, but if it hurt, he didn’t show it. Instead, he tightened his hold, dragging her away from the crowd.

“Let go!” she yelled, her voice cutting through the music like a blade. When he didn’t, she twisted harder, her voice dropping to a venomous snarl. “You’re such a fucking coward, Rafe.”

He didn’t respond, his jaw tightening as his grip on her wrist remained firm. His sharp, icy glare never wavered as he dragged her through the hallway, ignoring her kicks and curses. She struggled with all the fire of her fury, but he didn’t falter, his focus unwavering. They reached a random bedroom, and the door slammed behind them with a resounding thud.

The moment they were inside, Maddy lunged for the door handle. “Nah,” Rafe growled, his hand shooting out to grab her wrist. “You were so fucking desperate for my attention—you’ve got it now.”

She wrenched her arm in defiance, spitting her anger. “Don’t fucking touch me! I’ll go wherever the fuck I want.” She shoved him back with all the force her frame could muster and managed to yank the door halfway open before his hands were on her again. His grip was bruising this time, dragging her back into the room. The door slammed shut with a force that rattled the walls.

“You always gotta fucking do this,” Rafe barked, his voice low and simmering with frustration. His face hovered inches from hers, his breath hot against her cheek. “Always gotta be so goddamn dramatic. What the fuck do you want, huh?”

And that was how it always started—the yelling, the chaos, the war between two people too stubborn to back down. The true definition of an immovable object and an unstoppable force. It was a constant battle of who could scream the loudest with words that cut like knives.

“You love to act brand fucking new!” Maddy spat, her hands flying to his chest to push him away, eyes blazing with unfiltered rage. “This is what the fuck I get for lowering my standards!”

This was the problem. Maddy and Rafe were both cut from the same toxic cloth—fiery, stubborn, and vicious when provoked. Even when unprovoked. And yet, neither could let go. They were magnets, drawn together by the intensity of their hatred as much as their desire.

“Ah, ofcourse,” Rafe snarled, his expression twisting with anger as he took a threatening step forward, shoving her back against the door. He loomed over her, his body crowding hers. “That’s the problem, huh? You’re too good for me? That’s why you lose your fucking mind every time you see me with someone else? Makes perfect fucking sense, Maddy.”

Her lips curled into a tight, bitter smile as she crossed her arms. “Move.” Her tone was ice, her glare fire.

“Tell me what you want,” he demanded, his voice still sharp but tinged with something raw beneath the anger.

“I don’t want shit from you!” she snapped, her voice rising as she jabbed a finger into his chest. “Fuck you and that ugly strawberry-shortcake-looking bitch!” Her hands shot out, shoving him with all her strength.

Rafe staggered back a step, but the venom in his gaze didn’t waver. “Don’t act like you don’t know what this is,” he hissed, his voice low and biting. “I’ve never once promised to be anything more than a good fuck. You want something else? Then find it somewhere else.”

Maddy’s laugh was bitter and cutting, shaking her head as though his words were the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “You know what grates me the most about you when you start spouting this dumb shit?” Her voice softened slightly, but the venom was still there, simmering just beneath the surface. She tilted her head, her tone mocking as she continued, “It’s the fact that you lose your goddamn mind every time you see me with someone else. Remember Eddie? Eddie from Lincoln?”

The mention of the name made Rafe’s jaw clench, his eyes narrowing as he looked away, but Maddy wasn’t about to let it go. “Yeah,” she pressed, her voice rising triumphantly. “You knocked him the fuck out! Wanna talk about that, Rafe?”

He scoffed, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “He crossed a line,” he muttered, his tone dripping with disdain.

Maddy’s eyes gleamed with satisfaction as she leaned in closer, forcing him to meet her gaze. “Actually, he didn't. I never even got to fuck him because you had to go all caveman just because he grabbed my ass, huh?” Her words were sharp, relentless, designed to cut deep.

Rafe’s expression darkened further, his teeth grinding audibly. “He had the fucking nerve to do that shit in front of me,” he snapped, his voice barely above a growl. “And I punched him once. That weak-ass motherfucker went down like a light. He’s just fucking soft.”

“Oh, he’s soft?!” Maddy’s laughter rang out, sharp and derisive. “You’re so full of shit, Rafe. You’re fucking insane. You don’t want me, but no one else can have me either. That’s it, right?”

Rafe didn’t answer, his silence louder than any words.

Maddy was done. Her throat burned from yelling, and the sight of Rafe's smug, unbothered expression was grating against every raw nerve. With a huff, she turned away and reached for the door, determined to escape his orbit. But before her fingers even brushed the handle, his hands were on her. He moved quickly, crowding her space, his chest pressing against her back. His arms snaked around her, pulling her in as though the argument had only stoked his need.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he muttered against her ear, his voice low and steady, a dark counterpoint to the chaos in her head. His hands roamed her body with incomporable ease, tracing over her hips and waist as if every curve had been etched into his memory. His touch was infuriatingly familiar, an intimacy she hated herself for craving. When his hand slid up to her throat, rough and commanding—she swore she’d walk away, her body betrayed her every single time. Rafe knew it, too. He knew exactly how to unravel her, to make her defenses crumble with nothing more than his touch.

His lips ghosted over her neck, soft and deliberate, and she struggled to contain the noises that threatened to tumble out. Every kiss sent a shiver down her spine, her resolve breaking apart with each featherlight touch. And then he turned her, one swift motion that left her facing him, her lips parting in anticipation before his mouth crashed into hers.

Maddy had come to realise that no one did anything the way Rafe did it. Rafe kissed like he was starving for her. Like he’d been holding his breath and she was the only source of air. His mouth moved with a desperation that should have made her pull away, but instead, it pulled her in. Every time they kissed, it felt like a revelation, a prayer, a reminder of why she could never fully let go. No one else kissed her like this, like she was the beginning and end of everything.

But even as the heat of his lips consumed her, jealousy lingered in the back of her mind like a toxic shadow. The thought of someone else touching him, kissing him the way they were now, sent a fresh wave of rage coursing through her. Her teeth found his bottom lip, and she bit down—hard.

“Fuck!” Rafe jerked back, blood pooling on his lip before he spit it onto the floor. His eyes flared with shock and fury as he touched the tender spot. “Maddy, what the fuck?” he roared, his voice echoing in the small room.

She straightened her dress with deliberate care, smoothing out the wrinkles he’d left in it. Her lips curved into a mocking smile, sweet and cutting all at once. “That bitch probably gave you chlamydia and herpes,” she said sweetly, venom dripping from every word. “So, no thanks. I don’t want your ran-through ass. Text me when you get tested, and maybe—maybe—I’ll give you the time of day.”

Without waiting for his response, Maddy spun on her heel and strode toward the door, her head held high.

“I fucking hate you, Perez!” Rafe shouted after her, his voice cracking with frustration.

Maddy didn’t even turn around. She simply raised her hand and flipped him off, her middle finger loud and proud as she disappeared into the party, leaving him to curse and stew in the aftermath.

masterlist

[benwvatt]

for the weekend sleepover ask game: what are your favorite Grey's headcanons?

aaaaahhhh beachy i love chatting with you! <3

i need alex & jackson & april to move in together and be, like a weird group of 3. sort of a grover-percy-annabeth or a katara-sokka-aang in terms of the cheesy couple and their weird best friend who has emotional regulation issues but, like, needs hugs. he just also needs you to be chill so he doesn't feel embarrassed. and when he's sick he also wants japril to watch movies with him and make him chamomile tea

jackson fell first but april fell harder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can we please give matthew some actual character development because i would LOVE to see him actually grow & develop. I'm an exchristian and I really loved the episode where matthew & april talked about her not being a virgin because I found it very insightful and lovely.

I am team-matthew's wife never dies and april never marries matthew and he actually gets to grow as a human being. also he gets to be happy.

I always loved April as christian representation because she is a christian but is so kind (and I also headcanon that she has very complex feelings about christianity and the struggle against god. I can see her partly deconstructing.)

I am team-everyone lives AU. teddy and henry were CUTE. so were teddy and alison, and merder (who are not, like, my absolute favorites but I want them to be happy and I want derek to become a better person, not die because he reached for his phone while turning his truck.)

IF SAMUEL HAD LIVED AND JAPRIL COULD HAVE GOTTEN A STORYLINE ABOUT RAISING A DISABLED KID !!!! IT COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD DISABILITY REP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also team "Link and Amelia get back together" because I LOVE their romance and am so mad they broke up

I realize not all of these are headcanons. this is just a list of what I want to see. WHATEVER???

nonbinary callie because [gestures at sara ramirez in all their glory]

CALLIE AND ARIZONA SECOND WEDDING TO RENEW THEIR VOWS

also mark & lexie live happily ever ever ever after and they dance at the second wedding <3

okay we both love japril so also

Jackson is really good at crosswords and April is so fucking pissed at him for it

April (with Jackson's consent) yells at Jackson's dad for being terrible and Jackson becomes weird best friends with April's dad. They drink beer and listen to country songs and talk about, like, spirituality and god and soccer games and cherry pie recipes. Jackson learns how to drive a tractor and he meets Jackson, the pig April named after him, which the Kepners refuse to kill because HE IS NAMED A HUMAN NAME.

They also talk about April's embarrassing cute childhood (Jackson has 65353 pictures on his phone) and Jackson ALSO yells at April's family for making her feel embarrassed. Kids with disabilities and braces don't need to be shamed and mocked.

Jackson becomes friends with April's dad because he gets to have a dad (well, aside from Webber, who is also a nice dad figure) who loves him for HIM :'))))))))))))))

it's very healing and wonderful. he totally cries on mr. kepner's flannel shirt.

Jackson keeps his lucky pencil from med school and fucking signs his marriage certificate with it. (Office person voice: Sir, that's not valid. We need BLACK or BLUE PEN.)

JACKSON AND APRIL START A GLOBAL HEALTH NONPROFIT

Can we please have an April-centric storyline about why the US military fucking sucks and she had a nice time with them but was also, uh, IN THE MILITARY

April goes to her med school reunion and is like, "oh? this guy? yeah, whatever, he's super famous. mostly he just makes me tea and hangs out with our kids, I don't think of him as an AVERY"

everyone is super impressed. jackson is silly and goofy and eats hors d'ouevres with her

can we please get a Reed Lives AU because I LOVE REED (mostly because i am gay and i think she has cool hair) and I want to see more of her and April's friendship.

marginally off-topic rant but: the San Francisco episodes where they're doing the board exams and japril has sex in the bathroom? MY HEADCANON - VERY SLIGHT - IS THAT THEY WOULD JUST HAVE SEX ON THE COUNTER, NOT GO INTO THE STALL AND SLAM THE DOOR SHUT

BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO LOCK THE STALL AND HAVE SEX IN THERE IF THE MAIN BATHROOM DOOR IS ALREADY LOCKED?????????

also, april totally takes kickboxing lessons after beating up that guy at the bar (at the boards) and Jackson is just Very Turned On by his cool friend who, like, comes home from kickboxing all SWEATY? and BRUISED? taking off the tape around her hands and peeling off her tank top to get in the shower? it's really hot and he's very confused.

[ashhole0-0]

ok. this needs to be said. this it a little rant so feel free to skip if thats not your vibe. //TW ABUSE AND SEXUAL ASSULT//

when people say to/in regards to victims, "where's the evidence" it sucks ass. just because the abuser is a little pretty doesn't excuse his shitty actions. i was abused by my father for years when i was little yet have no evidence. am i valid to you? i was raped when i was twelve yet have no evidence. what about that, is that valid? one of my friends was abused by her ex. she has no evidence. is that valid? are we valid to you yet? as much as i would like to say that victims don't care what other people think because they know how bad what they went through was, unfortunately, most of the time that's just not true at all.

wilbur soot saved my life too. lovejoy helped me, too. but guess what. we don't know him. its not wrong or bad to find it hard to stop listening to them, chances are wilbur/lovejoy have had a big impact on you and that's fine. what is NOT fine however, is discrediting victims. that is NEVER ok. and especially if your a victim yourself i would think that you would know how disheartening that is. shubble, alice, lexi, nikki, caiti and any other victims out there are so strong. the women that i have just listed off are currently getting so much hate and even death threats purely because their abusers were semi-famous internet white men.

fuck #wilbursupportsquad users, fuck GNF supporters, and fuck any other people who discredit victims. its all "support victims" until the abuser is your fav micecraft man. you will never truly understand until you listen. and for all of you who are anti-shubble, i have a few questions. will we ever be valid to you? will you ever listen to us? take the time to understand? im sick of being pushed to the side. discredited. FUCK william patrick spencer gold and FUCK all of the people who still support him. all victims are valid. no matter how "bad" the trauma.

[nicascurls]

Seriously, I am so lucky that I didn't have a Lexy or Oliver level bully when I was in school because they act as if Jake is practically living on the streets in the first episode when the house he was in is like twice the size of my family home and houses half the amount of people.

Kinda random rant, but it's just something I always seem to notice in American tv shows, the houses are always fucking huge! At least compared to a lot in the UK.

[kamryn1963]

I remembered this was my blog and I could talk/rant about whatever I wanted so I decided to share my thoughts about 11x13.

But specifically Hank's hallucination of Al and specifically the line "Is this what it felt like?"

There's definitely quite a few emotional moments and lines in this episode but that one by far hit me the hardest.

Hank was dying, bleeding out and had come to terms with the fact he was probably going to die. And while I know it was for practical reasons and wanting to bring Al back at some point, if you look at it only from the characters POV, Hank was dying and the person he hallucinated in what could possibly of been his last moments, wasn't his late son or wife but his best friend.

And I just think this says a lot about Al and Hank's friendship that we didn't really see in the show or was really put into words. Al cared so much about Hank that he took the blame and sacrificed his life without hesitation. And Hank loved and missed Al to the point HE was the one he saw while Hank was on the verge of giving up.

But anyway back to the specific line. This also says a lot. The way Hank looked down at himself and his stab wounds before looking up at Al and asking "is this how it felt like" AND Al not answering. Like man...

I think it's clear Hank blamed himself for Al's death and I feel like Al not saying anything and just kind of shrugging was the answer. And it probably hit Hank hard. Like yeah he knew how Al died and that it wasn't a walk in paradise, but experiencing what actually killed his best friend (especially since it was to a lesser degree because Al was stabbed like 9-10 times) would've fucked with Hank.

AND even if Al was a hallucination, he still saw Hank experiencing what he did. Like idk if it's just me but that line is so incredibly sad and meaningful. I feel like I have more thoughts that I can't put in coherent sentences lol.

And getting in more of my personal thoughts, I've always felt like that part of why Al exactly took the blame of Bingham's murder is Al didn't think he had anything to live for. Lexi was dead, him and Meredith clearly weren't doing well, Michelle was nowhere to be found, etc. But Hank had the unit and people that counted on him and Al obviously saw that.

You take that and than add Al hearing that Hank was ready to go and give up like Al did. So Al reminds Hank that Hailey isn't ready for him to die. I wonder if Al wishes somebody reminded him he had things to live for too...

Anyhow if you read this all than I'm very happy. This was just the thoughts that have followed me for months since the finale came out haha.

[vmpirevnom]

Fuck Lexi Bonner.

HE WAS 8 YEARS OLD. I don’t care that she’s 14, she knew better than to beat up an 8-year-old boy with autism! Because what? He wanted to play? Shes a disgusting human being.

Anyway thanks for coming to the rant, I just found out about this.

[ladylooch]

I would love to see some Emma and Lexie time

Like maybe them shopping, out to lunch, or just ranting about Timo and Nico

It’s unseasonably warm in November in New Jersey. Emma and Lexi, both pregnant, are taking advantage of the weather, and their husbands being home, by taking a walk around the neighborhood without their older children.

“I feel like fire crotch is happening so much earlier this time around.” Emma mumbles. “Like with Lio it was later, not until I was back in Switzerland.”

“I haven’t had it yet, but I fear the day it returns.” Lexi shudders. “But weird that it is happening earlier? You’re carrying her so high.”

‘You’re telling me. I cannot eat anything without getting acid reflux so bad it feels like I’m choking.” Emma huffs. “And also, I really, really miss sushi. Like Timo said they had it Vegas and I wanted to punch him in the face.” 

“Nico said the same thing! I’d rather he just didn’t tell me.” Lexi whines back to her. 

“There is part of me wants to just say fuck it. But I really don’t want the lecture from Doctor Bethany.” Both women have the same doctor this time around. Doctor Bethany delivered Lucie and was highly recommended to Emma for this pregnancy now that she will certainly be delivering in the U.S. Emma likes her, but she wishes the bitch would care less about her fast food cravings. Sometimes you just need some fries from McDonald’s.

“I can see the eyebrow raise right now.” Lexi jokes and Emma laugh heartily. “I’m so excited we are having girls together.”

“Me too! I have been going crazy on buying clothes. I can’t help it! It’s all so stinking cute. Way cuter than boy clothes.” Emma rubs her hand over her upper belly where the baby kicks. “Have you started thinking of names?”

“Yes! We still have some we considered with Luc, so it’s a shorter list than last time.”

“I feel like…” Emma trails off. “We may need to discuss names at some point.”

“What if its a Friends situation!? And you love mine!? You’re delivering first.”

“I promise I won’t take it!” Emma vows. 

“That’s what Rachel said.” Lexi laughs heartily as they head to the right to circle back home.

“I am a better friend than her.” Emma bumps Lexi’s shoulder gently. “Plus we are thinking a Swiss name to match Lee.”

“Okay, well…” Lexi sighs, biting her lip. “We are pretty confident we are going to go with Mackenzie.”

“Oh! I love it!!” Emma squeals, gripping Lexi’s forearm. “Mackenzie Hischier!” 

“Our little Mack.” Lexi muses, rubbing her hand over her bump. She leaves her hand under her belly to cup her close. “What about you?”

“Livia has been at the top of our list for the entire time.” Emma murmurs. “We have been calling her Livy since we found out she is a girl. Timo came up with it… again. He’s so good at coming up with names for our children. I have to be quick to name the next one.” 

“Maybe it is a former hook up?” Lexi jokes, knowing there is no way he would do that.

“Oh I would kill him.” Emma mumbles. “Because I am really in love with the name now! I couldn’t part with it.” 

“Livia and Mackenzie.” Lexi says after a few moments of silence. “We are already so in love with you two.” Emma wraps an arm around Lexi and they hug, bumps pressing together. “Wanna go get ice cream?”

“Yeah, let’s take my car. I’ve got my keys.” Emma giggles.

They hustle, as much as pregnant women can hustle, into Emma’s car, then head off on their pregnancy craving adventure.

[nicoveil]

Chucky show s3 ended. And I pray it’s the last.

And I want to rant about it.

Chucky s1-3 spoilers below ⬇️

Okay. I first wanna say that I fucking love the child’s play series. Even seed. These movies were my childhood and i love how wacky they got. When the chucky show came out I loved the series even more.

Episode 1 was interesting to me enough that I watched more. I loved that there was a gay main character in this horror tv show. Everything was fine until Jake saved Lexi from falling. That’s when it all went to shit

Lexi is one of the most insufferable characters I’ve had the misfortune of seeing in a television show. She could not be any less interesting or annoying if the writers tried. Giving her that drvg add1ction shit in s2 was the most bullshit way to make us like a character.

Like, I’m sorry? That your family is dead? Join the rest of the group?

She felt like such a unneeded character that only got relevance later on because her sister is a psycho.

S2 was an entire mess I really don’t even wanna talk about. Missed opportunity imo. Could’ve been great. Then it wasn’t. Only mf I have a shit about was Andy. I don’t even remember the ending to be honest.

S3 was at least better that 2, which isn’t saying much. Though I will say i wasn’t a fan of seeing Jake and Devon get cockblock like 4 times. Or seeing Lexi give such a shit about her sister that it lead her to date the presidents son, giving us a boring ass relationship and cringy ass scenes. And I’m sorry, I know ghost are technically real in this universe cause chucky is.. alive still. But seeing them interact with people and be poorly green screened blue dumb asses wasn’t enjoyable in the slightest.

This show truly should’ve been an anthology series. Cause Fuck Jake.

Jake is such a boring character later on in the show. Like we cared more about lexis sister than Jake.. the main character. I’m glad Jake got possessed in the finale, it’s what I needed. Jake content. Him reconnecting with his dad, zacks surprisingly good chucky impression?, and him being in the spotlight was what I wanted to see. Sadly, they forced all that into 1 episode, just like Nicas character for this season. Ohhh nica. I’m so sorry girl.

Jake, Devon, and Lexi being turned into dolls in the end wasn’t actually that bad. I wanted them to be dolls tbh (Jake and nica especially). But they’re so fucking ugly im not sorry.

Id get into my hatred for how glen and Glenda turned out.. but that’s a whole other essay I can write.

Overall. This show was bad. I’m sorry but it was, I’m surprised fans.. like it? There’s a lot of good stuff i like, but it’s so shit I can’t even forgive it.

Fuck u chucky.

[swaymarked]

im sorry i have to say this but i fucking cannot stand tessa boyman. shes so annoying. shes a fucking airhead!!! shes so dumb!!!!!!!!! like what the fuck are you talking about “why are goalie bigger than the other players 😖😖” you are dating a goalie. youve been to countless games and have not even a grasp of the sport. and shes rude about it too! she’s constantly calling magnus “weird” for his superstitions and his fucking job. plus how she shits on the sharks?? not cool girl idc how much they suck thats your boyfriends organization at the lease. also like it is in no way my spot to “protect” magnus hes a grown ass adult and if he had a problem he would fix it since hes fully capable but she rubs me the wrong fucking way.

also dont get me started on when she was like “im selling magnus’ gear guys 😝😝” then flipped out when she saw post on his stick cause she thought it was bl*od and didnt believe him when he told her it was just post. like girl bffr

+ i dont hate women. i dont hate wags. i love wags bro most of them are awesome. like lexi brown or vero fleury?? theyre so cool. i dont like tessa because shes very willfully idiotic, if that makes sense. especially in the environment of hockey, which is a male-dominated environment, shes like perpetuating stereotypes n shit. like dumb blonde, women don’t understand sports, girls only watch hockey for the hot guys etc. shes only adding to that i feel like. also some wags are just weird about “hes my baby and i must protect him from the hate bc he wont be able to take it even tho hes an adult, pro athlete, & celebrates and conditioned to be able to handle certain things to a certain extent 🥺🥺”

sorry for ranting and if you would like to change my opinion or send hate my ask box is always open 🫶🫶

ps if u want me to remove the sjs tag js lmk

[kiss-my-freckle]

Katherine would go out and kiss Damon in public when they started dating while he was on leave in front of people but wasn't comfortable with Stefan kissing her in public in front of people when he tried to. Yet people deny that she cheated on Damon and that she was with him first, saying that Damon goes after Stefan's girlfriends. It's almost like she knew that it would look bad on her at the time to fuck around with the brother of the guy she was known to be with and used Stefan being a good dancer as an excuse to dance with him at the ball. She talked one on one with George so she may have thought in people's eyes by not letting Stefan kiss her they would look as platonic as she did with George. Because Stefan constantly rants and punches over "his brother stealing his girlfriend," I wish Damon would have addressed Stefan messing with Katherine, and have punched him had Stefan not apologized. Stefan whining makes people more sympathetic to him that they twist canon because they're manipulated into thinking he's a great guy. Also I've seen people say they think Stefan hates dancing because of how Katherine treated him. I found it interesting how in season 1 he was more comfortable dancing with Lexi than with Elena. Even though Stefan was weird about having fun with Elena, he didn't have as much shame over letting loose with Lexi. On their double date at the Grill Stefan smiles at both Elena and Caroline but his smile at Caroline is brighter because her energy is infectious while him smile at Elena is muted.

They made it clear that Damon wanted Katherine and Stefan went for her anyway. They even have Stefan say it out of his own mouth. He knew Damon wanted to be with Katheirne, and he didn't care. He didn't even care how much it hurt him. He so much as threw it in Damon's face.

Any fan that actually believes Damon stole his brother's girl doesn't know what they're talking about. They're just mad because when Stefan came home, he couldn't take her back from Damon. If he wanted to keep his girl, he shouldn't have passed her off to his brother like she's some kind of barbie doll. Because yes, that's what Stefan did. He's written like an indian giver in season 3. That's the only real way I can explain it. He gave his girl to Damon, then tried to take her back.

[system-of-storms]

//Lil bit of a ramble rant

Working 6 to 7 days a week sure is kicking our limited-energy-in-a-day ASS.

We like our jobs but at the same time FUCK man- we haven't had time to write and I know it's affecting lexie A Lot[TM].

Alice had been helping him by bringing back a craft they both enjoy, but he still feels the fact that we are falling very behind on a lot of things.

Even Harley has been fronting more frequently lately to try and help in patches.

And Lexie has been both attempting to come to terms with somethings and avoiding them like the plague because the mental fortitude is not there-

We need to writeeeeee, Lexieburg especially bruh.

I'm go to sleep now- I'm so tired

-Seth💚

[hookyou]

It wasn't like him to listen to someone but the woman there in front of him was a co worker and was distraught so he stayed leaning against the wall with his chip bag in hand as she ranted. Lexy was pacing back and forth as he quietly ate his chips. “Wanna know what he said? Right before he broke up with me?”

A brief nod of his head urged her to carry on. Tyler wasn't a man of many words but he hated to see her so upset. "Apparently I’m emotionally damaged—what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Tyler couldn't tell which she was more, hurt or angry. He stayed silent for some time and listened to her words before chuckling softly at her. “I don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with finding the one; they should try to live a little first.” He doubted it was what she wanted to here but it was how he felt.

Before he met Skye, he had been a mess due to his last relationship ending before it really started good. It ended because of some stupid argument they had. He didn't even remember the argument much either. It was what made him not care what he did or who he did. Whatever it took to get what he wanted was his motto. Daria had fallen victim to that Tyler but he had changed a lot since then. Maybe that was his wake up call to be better. Daria and him were now good friends and he was happy she had forgiven him.

Jamie had then told him to go for Skye, betting him that he couldn't bag her since she wasn't an easy lay. Funny how Tyler had went in with bad intentions but fallen for her. Even funnier was Jamie had found himself falling for Deonna. Two bad guys that had lost their hearts almost immediately.

Crinkling up the empty bag of chips he glanced at the wastebasket and then shot the bag into it. "Nailed it!' Not realizing or caring how those two words may have came off. He shrugged and glanced back at Lexy. "Life is too short and it's too beautiful. We should at least try living it first otherwise what's the point? Let's get out of here and hit the bar. You'll feel better with a few drinks and can forget that asshole." He reached to place a hand to her back as she nodded and they headed down the hallway.

[quietblueriver]

Meandering note:

I’m a lawyer and somebody asked me over the weekend if I ever used Chat GPT at work. I responded, “Absolutely not. I don’t trust it and nobody who trained me would trust it either. I would probably have to rewrite anything it wrote anyway.” He didn’t roll his eyes at me but it was obvious he thought it was a silly response and probably, understandably, that I was just so hostile because Chat GPT poses a threat to law firms and attorneys by making it easier to draft legal documents.

He then proceeded to tell me that he had drafted a complaint (the document a plaintiff files to start a case) using the program. He’s someone proceeding pro se (without an attorney) in a civil case. There is a small amount of money at issue in the suit, which he is bringing largely on principle. He said the document was just as good as what any lawyer could have done and cost him nothing. Fair enough.

Pro se litigants, especially low-income pro se litigants (this guy is not low-income but many, many people who are pro se are pro se because they can’t afford an attorney), are asked to navigate an incredibly complicated system and draft documents that attorneys spend many years training to write. Something like Chat GPT has the potential to make the courts more accessible to low-income folks, especially when it comes to initial pleadings, which don’t typically have many legal citations but which do have other bizarre and specific requirements. So, yes, maybe Chat GPT or things like it can help with initial barriers to access and people should for sure think about that. Also people should be guaranteed representation beyond the criminal context, but that’s a separate rant.

This shit, though? This is why I can’t ever see myself using Chat GPT or anything like it. I’m admittedly type-A and a bit of a control freak (pretty common for lawyers I think). But even acknowledging that, this is embarrassing and the thought of having to explain myself in this situation makes me want to throw up.

I’m not a pro se litigant. I’m someone who went to law school and has spent years working for and with experienced attorneys. This is bad, bad lawyering. The writing is, as noted, fucking weird. Also, things like the standard for a motion to dismiss are used over and over again. It’s a basic thing, and many attorneys have form paragraphs they can use for that, just pulled from one filing to another with minimal changes, although, of course, it’s always worth a cite check and reread in case something needs to be adjusted for the particular court. And! The text bot made up cases, meaning if this dude had done the bare minimum and looked up the cases, he would have found the problem and had to do all his own research anyway. No time saved. Just a badly written brief with no legal support. He’s charging someone for this. Yikes yikes yikes.

Also, I cannot imagine being the associate tasked with drafting a response to that opposition or the clerk for the judge. Like, I would absolutely think I was doing something wrong in WL or Lexis when entering the case info, which is a very simple process btw and is something you learn within a week of starting law school. But I would certainly think I was the one in the wrong and would have spent god knows how much time trying to figure out where I went wrong because in what world does opposing counsel/plaintiff’s counsel MAKE UP CASES. Incredible. Wild.

Oh dear.

So as some of you may know, I love to point and laugh at bad legal arguments. And as fun as legal dumpster fires are when they are made by people who aren’t lawyers but think this whole “law” thing seems pretty simple, it’s even funnier when an actual, barred attorney is the person dumping gallons of kerosene into the dumpster.

And oh boy folks, do I have a fun ride for y’all today. Come with me on this journey, as we watch a lawyer climb into the dumpster and deliberately pour kerosene all over himself, while a judge holds a match over his head.

The court listener link is here, for those who want to grab a few bowls of popcorn and read along.

For those of you who don’t enjoy reading legal briefs for cases you aren’t involved with on your day off (I can’t relate), I will go through the highlights here. I will screenshot and/or paraphrase the relevant portion of the briefs, and include a brief explainer of what’s going on (and why it’s very bad, but also extremely funny). (Also, I’m not going to repeat this throughout the whole write-up, so for the record: any statements I make about how the law or legal system works is referring exclusively to the U.S. (And since this is a federal case, we are even more specifically looking at U.S. federal law.) Also, I don’t know how you could construe any of this to be legal advice, but just in case: none of this is, is intended to be, or should be taken as, legal advice.)

First, let’s get just a quick background on the case, to help us follow along. In brief, this is a civil tort suit for personal injury based on defendant’s (alleged) negligence. The plaintiff is suing the defendant (an airline), because he says that he was injured when a flight attendant struck his knee with a metal cart, and the airline was negligent in letting this happen. The airline filed a motion to dismiss on the grounds that there is an international treaty that imposes a time bar for when these kind of cases can be brought against an airline, and the plaintiff filed this case too many years after the incident.

The fun begins when the plaintiff’s attorney filed an opposition to the motion to dismiss. (So far, a good and normal thing to do.) The opposition argues that the claim is not time-barred because 1) the time bar was tolled by the defendant’s bankruptcy proceedings (that is, the timer for the time limitation was paused when the defendant was in bankruptcy, and started again afterwords), and 2) the treaty’s time limit doesn’t apply to this case because the case was filed in state court before the state statute of limitations expired, and the state court has concurrent jurisdiction over this kind of case.

I’m struggling a bit to succinctly explain the second reason, and there’s a reason for that.

You see, the whole opposition reads a bit…oddly.

This is how the opposition begins its argument, and it’s…weird. The basic principle is...mostly correct here, but the actual standard is that when reviewing a motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim (which is what the defendant filed) the court must draw all reasonable factual inferences in the plaintiff’s favor. But even then, you don’t just put that standard in your opposition. You cite to a case that lays out the standard.

Because that’s how courts and the law work. The courts don’t operate just based on vibes. They follow statutory law (laws made by legislature) and case law (the decisions made by courts interpreting what those laws mean). You don't just submit a filing saying, "here's what the law is," without citing some authority to demonstrate that the law is what you say (or are arguing) it is.

Again, this isn’t wrong (although I'm not sure what it means by new arguments?), but it’s weird! And part of the reason it’s weird is that it is irrelevant to the defendant’s motion to dismiss. The defendant filed a motion stating that based on the facts in the complaint, the plaintiff has not stated a claim based on which relief can be granted, because the complaint is time barred by a treaty. There is no reason for this language to be in the opposition. It’s almost like they just asked a chatbot what the legal standards are for a motion to dismiss for a failure to state a claim, and just copied the answer into their brief without bother to double-check it.

The opposition then cites a bunch of cases which it claims support its position. We will skip them for now, as the defendant will respond to those citations in its reply brief.

The last thing in the brief is the signature of the lawyer who submitted the brief affirming that everything in the brief is true and correct. An extremely normal - required, even! - thing to do. This will surely not cause any problems for him later.

The next relevant filing is the defendant’s reply brief. Again, the existence of a reply brief in response to an opposition is extremely normal. The contents of this brief are…less so.

Beg pardon?

Just to be clear, this is not normal. It is normal to argue that the plaintiff’s cases are not relevant, or they aren’t applicable to this case, or you disagree with the interpretations, or whatever. It is not normal for the cases to appear to not exist.

Some highlights from the brief:

Quick lesson in how to read U.S. case citations! The italicized (or underlined) part at the beginning is the name of the case. If it is a trial court case, the plaintiff is listed first and the defendant second; if the case has been appealed, the person who lost at the lower court level (the petitioner/appellant) will be listed first, and the person who won at the lower level (the respondent/appellee) will be listed second. There are extremely specific rules about which words in these names are abbreviated, and how they are abbreviated. Next, you list the volume number and name of the reporter (the place where the case is published), again abbreviated according to very specific rules, then the page number that the case starts on. If you are citing a case for a specific quote or proposition, you then put a comma after the beginning page number, and list the page number(s) on which the quote or language you are relying on is located (this is called a “pincite”). Finally, you put in parenthesis the name of the court (if needed)(and again, abbreviated according to extremely specific rules) and the year the case was decided.

So the plaintiff’s response cited to Zicherman, which they said was a case from 2008 that was decided by the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. However, the defendant was not able to find such a case. They were able to find a case with the same name (the same petitioner and respondent), but that case was decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1996, and the lower court cases associated with that case weren’t in the 11th circuit either. (The United States Reports is the only official reporter for the U.S. Supreme Court, and only includes SCOTUS decisions, so it’s not necessary to include the name of the court before the year it was decided.)

Just to be clear. The defendant’s brief is saying: the plaintiff cited and extensively quoted from these cases, and neither the cases nor the quotations appear to exist. These “cases” were not ancillary citations in the plaintiff’s brief. They were the authority it relied upon to make its arguments.

This is as close a lawyer can come, at this point in the proceedings, to saying, “opposing counsel made up a bunch of fake cases to lie to the court and pretend the law is something different than it is.”

That, “Putting aside that here is no page 598 in Kaiser Steel,” is delightfully petty lawyer speak for, “you are wrong on every possible thing there is to be wrong about.”

By page 5, the defendant has resorted to just listing all of the (apparently) made up cases in a footnote:

(skipping the citations to support this proposition)

This is where I return to my struggle to explain the opposition’s second reason why the motion to dismiss should not be granted. I struggled to explain the argument, because they failed to explain why the argument they were making (that plaintiffs can bring lawsuits against airlines in state court, and the state court have specific statutes of limitations for general negligence claims) was relevant to the question of whether the plaintiff’s specific claim against the airline was time barred by the treaty. Because 1) this case is in federal court, not state court, and 2) federal law - including treaties - preempts state law. Again, it’s almost like plaintiff’s attorney just typed a question about the time bar into a chatbot or something, and the machine, which wasn’t able to reason or actually analyze the issues, saw a question about the time to bring a lawsuit and just wrote up an answer about the statute of limitations.

We also end with a nice little lawyerly version of “you fucked up and we are going to destroy you.” The relief requested in the defendant’s original motion to dismiss was:

In their reply to the opposition, however:

“The circumstances” in this case, being the apparent fabrication of entire cases. Because courts tend to take that pretty seriously.

And the court took it seriously indeed. The defendant’s reply was docketed on March 15th of this year. On April 11th:

AKA: you have one week (an extremely prompt time frame for federal court) to prove to me that you didn’t just make up these cases.

On April 12th, the plaintiff’s attorney requests more time because he’s on vacation:

The judge grants the motion, but adds in another case that he forgot to include in his first order.

On April 25th, the plaintiff’s attorney files the following:

(And he lists the cases, with one exception, which he says is an unpublished decision.)

But he says of all of the cases except two, that the opinions…

Which is…nonsense?

First of all: if you cited a case, you had to get it from somewhere. Even unpublished opinions, if you are citing them in a brief, you are citing them because you pulled them off of westlaw or whatever. Which means you have access to the case and can annex it for the court. (There are even formal rules for how you cite unpublished opinions! And those rules include citing to where you pulled the damn case from!)

Secondly: remember that long digression I went into about how to read case citations? Remember that bit about how you include the name of the reporter (the place the case was published)? Yes, cases are published. They are printed in physical books, and they are published online in databases (e.g. lexis or westlaw). If the specific online database you are looking in does not have the case, you look somewhere else. If you have a judge telling you to get them a copy of the case Or Else, you track down a physical copy of the reporter if you need to and scan the damn thing yourself. You - literally - can’t just not have a copy of the case! (Especially published federal circuit court opinions, which multiple of these cases are! Those aren’t hard to find!)

And what kind of “online database” doesn’t include the entire opinion anyway? I’ve literally never heard of a case research database that only included partial opinions, because that wouldn’t be useful.

Maybe if we look at the attached annexed copies of the cases, that might give us some answers.

...

My friends, these things are just bizarre. With two exceptions, they aren’t submitted in any sort of conventional format. Even if you’ve never seen a legal opinion before, I think you can see the difference if you just glance through the filings. They are located at Docket entry #29 on Court Listener (April 25, 2023). Compare Attachments 6 and 8 (the real cases submitted in conventional format) to the other cases. Turning to the contents of the cases:

In the first one, the factual background is that a passenger sued an airline, then the airline filed a motion to dismiss (on grounds unrelated to the treaty's time bar), then the airline went into bankruptcy, then the airline won the motion to dismiss, then the passenger appealed. And the court is now considering that appeal. But then the opinion starts talking about how the passenger was in arbitration, and it seems to be treating the passenger like he is the one who filed for bankruptcy? It’s hallucinatory, even before you get to the legal arguments. The “Court of Appeals” is making a ruling overruling the district court’s dismissal based on the time bar, but according to the factual background, the case wasn’t dismissed based on the time bar, but on entirely other grounds? Was there some other proceeding where the claim was dismissed as time barred, and it’s just not mentioned in the factual background? How? Why? What is happening? Also it says Congress enacted the treaty? But, no? That’s…that’s not how treaties work? I mean, Congress did ratify the treaty? But they didn’t unilaterally make it!

In the second case, there’s an extended discussion of which treaty applies to the appellants claims, which is bizarre because there are two relevant treaties, and one replaced the other before the conduct at issue, so only the new treaty applies? There isn’t any discussion of the issue beyond that basic principle, so there is no reason there should be multiple paragraphs in the opinion explaining it over and over? Also, it keeps referring to the appellant as the plaintiff, for some reason? And it includes this absolutely hallucinatory sentence:

…the only part this that makes sense is that the argument is without merit. I’m not going to discuss the actual merits of the legal arguments in the opinion, because they are so bizarre and disjointed that even trying to describe them would require a Pepe Silvia-sized conspiracy board. Like the previous case, both the facts and the legal posture of the case change constantly, with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

The third one…oh boy. First, large portions of the “opinion” are individual paragraphs with quotations around the whole paragraph. What’s happening there? As far as the content of the opinion itself - I can’t. I mean that, I literally can’t. What is being discussed seems to change from paragraph to paragraph, much of it contradicting. It makes the first case seem linear and rational by comparison. The court finds it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over the defendant so dismisses the case based on a lack of subject matter jurisdiction? But also the defendant hasn’t contested jurisdiction? And also the court does hold that it has both subject matter and personal jurisdiction over the defendant? And then it denies the motion to dismiss the case? Also, at one point it cites itself?

…also, even if this was a real case, it doesn’t stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited it for in their opposition? I’m not going to go into the weeds (honestly it’s so hallucinatory I’m not sure I could if I tried), but, for example, the plaintiff’s reply brief states that the court held “that the plaintiff was not required to bring their claim in federal court.” The U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia is a federal court, and there is no discussion of any filings in state courts. The closest the “opinion” comes is with the statement, “Therefore, Petersen’s argument that the state courts of Washington have concurrent jurisdiction is unavailing.” (This statement appears to be completely disconnected from anything before or after it, so I am unsure what it is supposed to mean.)

Moving on, case number four is allegedly a decision by the Court of Appeals of Texas. It includes the following line:

Honestly, the plaintiff’s attorney best defense at this point is that he wasn’t intentionally trying to mislead the court, because if he was doing this on purpose, he would have edited the cases to make them slightly more believable. (Context in case you’ve lost track: these documents are supposed to be copies of the opinions he is citing. The screenshoted line makes it clear that what he is actually citing is, at best, someone else’s summary of an "opinion". It would be like if a teacher asked a student to photocopy a chapter of a book and bring it into class, and instead the student brought in a copy of the cliffs notes summary of that chapter. Except that the book doesn’t even exist.)

The actual contents of the “opinion” are, as is now standard, absolutely bonkers. First, the court decides that it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over Delta because “Delta did not purposefully avail itself of the benefits of conducting business in Texas.” This was despite the fact that the factual background already included that the appellant (sorry, the plaintiff, according to the “opinion”) flew on a Delta flight originating in Texas. Like, this is just wrong? It’s not even hallucinatory nonsense, it’s just facially incorrect legal analysis. Then the court starts discussing the treaty’s time bar, for some reason? Then it goes back to talking about personal jurisdiction, but now the trial court denied the defendant’s motion to dismiss for lack of personal jurisdiction, and the appellate court agrees with the trial court that it does have personal jurisdiction, even though this is the plaintiff’s appeal from the dismissal for lack of personal jurisdiction and the court already ruled it didn’t have personal jurisdiction? And even though on page 1, the plaintiff was injured during a flight from Texas to California, now on page 7 she was injured on a flight from Shanghai to Texas? Also the trial court has gone back in time (again) to grant the motion to dismiss that it previously denied?

Also, I’ve been trying to avoid pointing out the wonky text of these submissions, but:

Everything ok there?

Case number five is similar enough to number four that it’s not worth repeating myself.

Thank god, cases six and eight, as noted above, are real cases, so I’m going to skip them. The defendant alleges that the cases do not stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited them for, and I’m going to assume that is true, given the rest of this nonsense.

Case number seven looks legitimate on the surface. But neither the defendant nor I could find the case through any legitimate search mechanisms. The defendant looked up the purported docket numbers on PACER and found completely different cases; I was able to find a case with the name “Miller v. United Airlines, Inc.,” but it was for a different Ms. Miller, it was a California state case (not a Second Circuit federal case), it was decided on a different year, and the substance of the case was entirely different from the alleged opinion filed with the court.

On top of that, this might be the most morally reprehensible fake citation of them all? Because it is about the crash of United Airlines Flight 585, a real plane crash. Everyone on board - 25 people in total - was killed. 

The individual cited in this fake court case was not one of them.

I cannot imagine conducting myself in such a way where I would have to explain to a judge that I made up a fake case exploiting a real tragedy because I couldn’t be bothered to do actual legal research.

Now, I know you all have figured out what’s going on by now. And I want you to know that if your instincts are saying, “it seems like the lawyer should have just fallen on his sword and confessed that he relied on ChatGPT to write his original brief, rather than digging himself further into this hole”? Your instincts are absolutely correct.

Because obviously, the court was having none of this b.s. On May 4th, the court issued an order, beginning with the following sentence:

That is one of the worst possible opening sentences you can see in an order by the court in a situation like this. The only thing worse is when judges start quoting classic literature. If I was Mr. Peter LoDuca, counsel for the plaintiff, I would already be shitting my pants.

“I gave you an opportunity to either clear things up or come clean. Now I’m going to give you an opportunity to show why I should only come down on you like a pile of brinks, instead of a whole building.”

We are getting dangerously close to “quoting classic lit” territory here.

If I learned that the judge in my case called up the clerk of a circuit court just to confirm how full of shit I was, I would leave the legal profession forever. Also, the judge is now also putting quotes around “opinion.” When judges start getting openly sarcastic in their briefs, that means very very bad things are about to happen to someone.

So I’m guessing the delay between this filing and the court order was because the judge’s clerk was tasked with running down every single one of the additional fake citations included in the "opinions", just to make this sure this order (and the upcoming pile of bricks) are as thorough as possible.

If you are following along with Dracula Daily, the vibe here is roughly the same as the May 19th entry where Dracula demands Jonathan Harker write and pre-date letters stating he has left the castle and is on the way home.

Also, hey, what’s that footnote?

Wait, what?

Folks, it appears we may have notary fraud, on top of everything else! Anybody have bingo?

So on May 25, one day before the deadline, Mr. LoDuca filed his response. And oh boy, I hope ya’ll are ready for this.

Hey, what’s the name of that other attorney, “Steven Schwartz”? Where have I seen that name before…

...I ran out of room for images on this post. So I'm going to have to leave this as an accidental cliffhanger. Part 2 to follow once I refresh my tea.