#lets start some discourse
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#poll#im in a sillygoofy mood#lets start some discourse
264 notes
·
View notes
Text
I do think that referring to Essek as irredeemable for regretting his actions only because he was caught and risked losing his friends is both kind of reductive to him as a character and a misunderstanding of the concept of redemption arcs in media.
A person generally isn't changed because you sit them down and hand them a bunch of political theory to read. They change because their circumstances and relationships do. It's like that guy who was deradicalized because he got a bunch of shrimp and started to care for them. It’s our relationships that change us, because they give us not a logical but an emotional reason to do so.
Caleb explicitly says "these people will change you" (or something along that line; I don’t remember the exact quote). Essek, before the m9, didn’t genuinely care about anyone. The people who would die if a war started because of his actions were irrelevant and abstract to him. Caleb, similarly, also started c2 not really caring about others. He had no interest in taking on Ikithon or the Assembly to save others from going through what he did, too preoccupied with his own trauma and his own goals to care. In that sense, he started the campaign in a similar place as Essek post ep. 97: regretful, but too busy wallowing in his own self-loathing to productively do anything to prevent future harm due to his previous actions.
Being with the m9, being reminded of the importance of other people and realizing that they’re capable of caring for them, is what changes Caleb and Essek both. Of course Essek starts out more concerned with losing the nein than with strangers killed in a war. They’re his starting step, the opening through which he realizes that the people hurt by his actions are real, that he cares, that he has the ability to, if not undo his harm, help stop furthering of it.
#critical role#cr2#essek thelyss#nella talks cr#esseks return has brought back old essek discourse#and I'm taking the excuse to ruminate on the nature of redemption in fiction#like lets not forget that essek starts out categorized as literally evil#caleb had over a decade to carry his guilt and regret before the entrance of the m9#he wasn't good yet but he hadn’t been evil for a while#(and lets not pretend young caleb wasn't categorized as evil. he was brainwashed sure but he was just as responsible for his actions as any#radicalized young adult who made the choice to hurt others. boy tortured and murdered people bc he believed in nationalistic propaganda)#essek in comparison spedruns his redemption bc he has the m9 from the start#but he’s still going to need some time. you can’t expect him to immediately Become Good
522 notes
·
View notes
Text
after yesterday's picture i realised that almost every time i draw jgy he looks like he's about 5 seconds away from a breakdown so i figured i should give him a nap for once
#mdzs#jin guangyao#jgy#nieyao#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#my art#this was meant to be quick and then i started having too much fun messing around with colouring#i'm never letting go of jgy with nie braids i'll hold onto that forever#me a fool about to run face first into a wall of discourse: gonna go into the jgy tag now that I've got him on the brain :D#find some fun cute art-- D:#[principal skinner voice] good lord what is happening in there#anyway i have sensibly retreated from the tags and shall return to rotating my blorbos exclusively in my own mental microwave
341 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay but for real though jokes aside, I genuinely do not care about what people ship, and I don't think people should be being harassed over what they ship. Assuming everybody is tagging everything correctly, I'm in favor of just block/filter/mute and move on. What other people do is really none of my goddamn business. I actually have my own business where I spot while you lift weights but the catch is that I don't help you when things start to go south, I just encourage you to fight for your life cause that's where the real motivation is 😤🤙
#danny phantom#phandom discourse#also if u thought the gym discourse i started was a one day thing#then im so NOT sorry to tell u that this is it fam this is a longterm plan for me#yesterday unlocked some meme potential that i didnt realize i had in me#so....this is it. im a dp gymbro cover band now#but for real for real ship and let ship thank u and good night
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is not a ship post, but something that frustrates me a lot in fanon concerning Jason Todd that attempts to soften Jason's return to Gotham for the sake of found family domesticity or easy hurt/comfort or just sliding him into the Batfam sooner, is they all seem to fundamentally misunderstand Jason.
because there seem to be a lot of fandom popular concepts of Jason coming home much sooner and just not having his whole Under The Red Hood arc. which in theory is fine and i can see the want to simplify canon to make room for your lighthearted more fluff-leaning concepts. but in everyone without fail, the way they address the clown-shaped elephant in the room is by having some throwaway line that "oh Jason quietly kills the Joker and moves on".
when the Joker being dead or alive is not the *point*. if by some chance accident, the Joker had died prior to Jason's return, whether by ridiculous freak accident, getting whacked by a fellow villain, hell even someone actually doing so to avenge Jason, it *would not* satiate Jason's anger. because Jason's end goal in UtRH is not to simply kill the Joker: it is to make *Bruce* kill the Joker. Jason's anger is directed to the idea that to Jason, if Bruce truly loved Jason, he would've killed the Joker. that is love, for Jason. compromising your personal values for love and not letting someone go unavenged. when Jason was Robin, almost every angry or misguided thing he did was born of love. he wanted to kill/hurt Two-Face because he believed Dent killed his father. he was so angry at Felipe because an innocent woman was dead due to that man's actions. he wanted to save his mother in a situation he knew he shouldn't be in because he loved her. his anger, his violence, it is driven by love and feelings of righting wrongs. that is how he thinks wrongs *should* be righted. that is how you avenge and *love* someone.
because so long as Jason's return to Gotham doesn't end in Bruce killing the Joker (which, it never will bc Bruce is Bruce), Jason will never forgive Bruce. you cannot wave away the layers of hurt and complicated trauma by killing Joker offscreen. because Jason will still be angry that Bruce didn't avenge him. in his eyes, that means Bruce did not love him enough. he was not truly loved by Bruce the way he loved Bruce. bc Bruce was Jason's whole *world*. prior to being taken in, Dick and Tim, they had support systems. they had loved ones. they knew what stability and healthy family love looked like. Jason *didn't*. and that's not to say that Catherine Todd did not love him with her whole heart and thus he loved her, but it certainly wasn't a stable and safe support system for Jason to grow up in. Bruce was Jason's first real sense of a stable, healthy life. and so of course Jason poured everything into Bruce and loved Bruce so devoutly. Bruce was his world. like he says, if it had been Bruce, Jason would've stopped at nothing.
so his betrayal is rooted in that he was not avenged, not that Joker is alive. so long as the Joker does not die by Bruce's hands, it will never be enough for Jason. (in this era, at least.) notably, this is also why i don't think it would change a thing if Jason knew the whole "oh Bruce wanted to kill the Joker but Superman stopped him" tidbit that fanon has really latched onto as a way to pacify Jason's anger toward Bruce. Jason knowing that wouldn't change a thing, in my opinion. because Jason knows Bruce. and a tenant of Bruce's character is that he grapples with murder *every day*. the whole point is how *easy* it would be for him. he is a human weapon, trained by killers, trained to be deadly. he is the greatest strategist to exist. he knows he could kill someone and get away with it. *no* trace, no proof, nothing. and he knows he *wants* to. wants to kill the Joker, Joe Chill, anyone who's hurt him that viscerally.
but he *doesn't*. that's the point. Bruce wakes up every day with that question on his mind, and every day the answer is the same. Bruce's morality is not a decision he made in an alleyway when his parents died, it's a decision he continues to make every day and he *must* continue to make in order to remain who he is. Jason is quite familiar with the fact that Bruce grapples with this daily. i do not think it surprised nor fazed Jason to know that Bruce did *consider* killing the Joker. that he wanted to. maybe even planned to. but a consideration, a want, a plan, is just a thought. it's nothing substantial, and substance is everything to Jason. at the end of the day, Bruce didn't. he was talked down by *Clark* of all people with an excuse of diplomatic immunity, as if Jason and Bruce don't both know that Bruce could've *easily* found a way to make it look like an accident or some other loophole. because he's Batman. there's always a loophole. he always finds a way when he actually intends to. but he never actually intended to kill the Joker. so he didn't. and Jason would know that there was never an intent. it's an interesting piece of fodder to add to the nuance of Jason and Bruce, but honestly, i think it'd make Jason angrier to have that excuse thrown in his face. as if Bruce hasn't beaten Clark half a dozen times by now. it's a flimsy nonsense excuse that Jason would rip to shreds.
so while yes, i understand the wish for easy lighthearted fanfic that doesn't have to deal with the nuances of canon, i think that Jason's character will always be so deeply robbed and altered if you try to fix his thirst for vengeance with an off-page killing of Joker at Jason's hands. it was never the point. the point was that -in his own eyes- he wasn't loved enough for Bruce to make an acception. he realized that not even his *death* would come before Bruce's Mission. Jason truly believed that Bruce loved him and held him as the most important thing in the world, and now he has proof that Bruce didn't. because the Mission mattered more.
i'm not saying i have a solution to this conundrum if you're attempting to solve it for fanfic/fanon, nor am i even saying it's a bad thing it exists. i just think it becoming overwhelmingly common has led to misunderstandings surrounding Jason's motivations and feelings about this arc and it's an unsatisfying solution that only seeks to pacify Jason's rage and his trauma responses for the sake of found family-ification.
#necrotic festerings#jason todd#fandom meta#idk man this isn't too serious it's really just me noticing this becoming a dominate thing#also this post isn't a subtweet at literally anyone specifically#it's a commentary on a trend as a whole#so no one think i'm like. being shady pls.#and if you write jason killing the joker himself during this era that is okay and it's valid#i just don't want the fandom largely treating it as in character#but ooc fanfic is allowed to exist! that's valid yk!#also i once again wanna reiterate all of this is commentary on *this era*#this is a pre-flashpoint meta.#jason's realtionship to his trauma *wildly* changed in both new-52 and rebirth so yeah. he's at a point he's “moved on”#and either seeks to kill joker himself or seeks to just let go of the whole thing#depending on the arc#(but if i get into that then i get into my feelings on how jason has had no consistent characterization in the past decade. so.)#(that's a can of worms we're not opening here it will make some ppl mad and i'm not dealing with it.)#is this how i start writing serious character metas and not unhinged shippy ones. idk#i've got others in my head but#i fear the discourse#if the discourse on this post gets bad i will turn off replies and reblogs idc#this is me testing the waters. ig.#also if a single person tries to argue about tim not having a loving family i will bite you /lh#yes he did. the drakes make not have done the *best* job! i'm not arguing that.#but they loved him and he had a support system.
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
People complaining on twitter about enea and most of the riders not being able to speak english, i dont care you know what? I hope they all decide to never use that language ever again :)
#motogp#hate that discourse!#also when they do interviews in english most people ALWAYS miosunderstand them and then start hate campaigns#all the english interviews are ao boring coz they’re not able to express all they want to say#they all speak to each other in other languages and most of them do speak some english#all the twitter people saying oh they need to start learning english so motogp can become more famous internationally like f1#i really dont care#and i really dont want for motogp to become like f1#lets gatekeep actually!#they should just put subtitles! in every language! so anyone can understand! like whats so difficult about reading subtitles?????#also not everyone speak english so#rant about languages and sports and ‘oh they need it to get international!🥰’#fuck off👩❤️💋👩
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
As expected after the forever situation people are bringing up stuff other ccs did in the past. Now we need to ask what can we forgive after someone gives an apology. how much do we think a person can change? Since really if we dont tolerate anything literally like every single cc on qsmp could be cancelled. So where do we draw the line.
Really its subjective and it often comes down to how much people personally like the cc which isnt ideal. Its sad to know its not fair and that the most popular and well liked ccs would be treated far less harshly than some less popular ccs. (like forever was popular but many disliked him still, it would have not been as harsh with cellbit for example)
Do we forgive aypierre if he apologises for what he said. Do we forgive tubbo for making some ignorant comments in the past despite him acknowledging he was wrong. Do we forgive when cellbit did blackface even if he apologised (i think) . Are we going to forgive some ccs like Vegetta who made questionable comments about trans and nonbinary people.
Also to what extent do we allow shit from the past to be forgiven. how far back. how old did the ccs have to be. Do we forgive if they were "stupid teenagers"? Do we forgive if they are from a more ignorant generation? Do we forgive if it was during a time with lots of bigotry?
Also do we need to have some thorough investigation of everything the ccs have said?? Do we leave it for when epople feel like looking into shit?? How far back can we look??
I personally believe to some extent forgiveness must be allowed. Ive seen people and myself change from shit opinions which are 90% of the time from ignorance. So what do we forgive...
#qsmp#forever situation#qsmp discourse#just somethign to think about#Im scared of some mass cancelation sprees and that the community will constantly bring up shit from the past when they dislike a cc#Lets not become even worse with drama#Ones im most conflicted about aypierre and vegetta.#Ive already seen people start to target aypierre despite us going through it before and it being somewaht handled#I dont remember if he apologised or not i do remember quackity saying he talked to aypierre to ensure no shit happens again
104 notes
·
View notes
Note
Wow people make Käärijä a villain in the story that is actually so much bigger than our fandom or the history we’ve lived. It’s so unfair to him. I’m scared actually and hope he will be safe <3
I think he'll be mostly fine though admittedly I'm only tuned in here on tumblr. I have definitely seen some people being incredibly harsh on here as well though and I have heard that the reaction on Twitter has been way worse. (I heard people sent kä death threats, which if true is just like really??? over this?) It's just such a strange hill to die on to me.
I see it as reflective of the more recent phenomenon of people snapping at others online for what are ultimately little mistakes or just opinions that don't fit a specific mold. I've seen literally anyone being attacked just for not holding the most extreme version of a belief.
I don't think there's much cause for concern this time. Most of what I'm seeing here on tumblr is just people wanting a better apology or explanation anyway <3
#Hope you weren't referring to some of my previous tags cause in hindsight I realize I might've come off a litte aggressive at first#I suck at properly conveying tone over text lol#even worse because I was emotional#I know people are bound to be fired up because of the genocide in Gaza#but i can't honestly say I believe that video implies he sides with Israel#also just like... priorities y'know#bigger fish to fry out there than this discourse#I think the lessons here are twitter sucks especially for discourse#and we should all probably let ourselves think before we post#käärijä#only thing I love more than sharing my opinions is sharing my opinions when someone gives me a starting point so I appreciate the ask <3
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
honestly i dont get whats so hard to understand about the cpunk shit and why people are getting so fussy about it. its literally as simple as “if you arent physically disabled then its not for you”. and like. if you consider yourself physically disabled, then good for you, you can be part of cpunk. if not, go to neuropunk, madpunk, etc spaces.
how is that so hard to understand 😭😭
#cripplepunk#cpunk#cripple punk#cripplepunk discourse#discourse#i dont like posting discourse stuff but i just gonna rant a bit#i would prefer for anyone not to try to start a debate or argument with me in the notes#bc this is sorta just a personal rant#but its the internet so i cant really stop anyone#no debates/arguments are preferred tho#also like. just pls let us have our own spaces. its like if adhders were tryna be a part of autistic spaces#like yeah a lot of adhders are autistic and vice versa and theres some trait overlap but they still deserve their own spaces goddamn
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
im curious about ppls thoughts on this (also significant character development DOESNT mean “what character is better written”, it just means who do you think had the most significant change in character between their first appearance and their last.
(also pls if u want explain why u voted them in the tags u dont have to but i really like hearing ppls thoughts)
#saiki k#i have strong opinions on this but im keeping them to myself lest i disrupt the poll#again let me reiterate that imo every character got development and this isnt a testament on what character you think is best written#they’re all very well written characters#its just who changed the most in the time we knew them#there are characters here who i think got very little development but that are some of my favorite characters in anything#so just to make sure we’re all on the same page there bc i dont wanna accidentally start fandom discourse
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
With comic book fans it’s always “current [character] is so out of character because in [specific comic run from 30 years ago] he acted like this.”
Fellas, the best part of comics is that the characters constantly evolve, and probably have been changed over and over again for longer than you’ve been alive. Each writer and artist reimagines the character in their own way, in a new way that will speak to different people in a different time. I shamelessly love New 52 Red Hood & Arsenal, and don’t really like Three Jokers Jason Todd or Young Justice Arsenal. And that’s okay. Maybe you hate New 52 Jason and love Rebirth Jason. And that’s okay!!
Even though it’s irritating, don’t hate on writers and artists for creating your character in a way that you don’t find “accurate.” In comics, after all this time, I don’t think there is an “accurate” way to portray a character. They’re vessels to tell a story, and are meant to change.
It’s okay if you don’t like a certain portrayal of your favorite comic character, because you probably already have media out there to consume that does portray them in a way that speaks to you, and the character will probably continue to grow and change forever. And that’s really cool.
#sorry for the rant#stop getting mad that your blorbo is different than the piece of media that changed your life#you are YOU and that version of the character spoke to YOU#you should be happy that a different characterization of your little dude spoke to other people!#different people!#it should bring you together not start arguments!#like instead of arguing over which batman is the best let’s appreciate that we are two totally different people that are now connected#through our love and connection to the same little guy#we should be lovers instead#also im not saying all comic discourse is bad. i like some good discussion#but stop saying creators are doing it WRONG#comic books#jason todd#dc batman#dc comics#marvel#marvel comics#dcu#dceu#dcau#comics
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m here to say that you may absolutely express negativity about veilguard to me as long as it’s not stupid. hate on it for real reasons, of which there are plenty, most of which I’m ignoring because of the hype but would be glad to discuss in a civilized manner. no forced positivity in this zone this is a safe space. unless your criticism is dumb as fuck then I will point and laugh
#sorry people have been posting about how bad the ~discourse~ is#about everything under the sun#and I’m starting to think that people are really just classifying like#‘oh this guy has a different opinion than me’ as discourse#like. hm. here’s an example from the latest and greatest#some people think a certain ending for Astarion is better than the others#they are entitled to that opinion! you are entitled to dksageee!#nobody is attacking you for your preference#even if someone says on their blog ‘oh if you don’t put blorbo bleebus through the bingly bop ritual you’re not a real fan’ that’s still#not a personal attack! that’s just someone Having Thoughts on their own blog#sorry I’m just. sigh#you can’t post any analysis of the actual climactic event in dragon age 2 anymore without it being labeled discourse#and I think. here’s my contribution to the discourse#you all are so obsessed with Avoiding Discourse that you’re not letting yourself feel the joy of getting stupidly invested in media#anyway. aren’t you tired of being nice. don’t you wanna go apeshit#ugh sigh DISCLAIMER because this is tumblr and you have to over explain lest someone take you in the worst possible faith#I am WELL AWARE of people who do actually like attack people and make online space hell for the differing opinions#tis why I specified people talking about their takes *on their own blog*#I am also WELL AWARE of pervasive issues in fandom. namely racism. I’m talking about racism and looking directly at the way bg3 fandom#treats and talks about wyll. and the way they treat black fans who rightfully call that shit out#racism isn’t discourse. it’s racism#talking about racism isn’t discourse. don’t devalue the conversation like that#disclaimers over. I stand by what I said#this is a safe space to have opinions. even if I disagree. unless what you’re saying is really stupid#don’t fish for reasons to be a hater. haterism should come naturally or not at all#this has been a post
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't find the right words to explain it right now, but I honestly think that Astarion would calm down about his hunger for power if given time in a safe and supportive environment.
He specifically references never having to fear Cazador (or anyone if he ascends) again when it gets to the point where he decides on whether to stay a spawn or not and that sort of feeling and behavior isn't exactly uncommon among abuse victims? If given a chance to actually realize he is safe, that Cazador is gone, and that no one will be Cazador version 2.0, those thoughts would likely lessen. Maybe not totally go away, but he probably wouldn't actually consider sacrificing 7000 souls to ensure his safety.
He is upset, not in a good mental state, and still learning that people care for him and that he will never have to go through Cazador's torture ever again. He wants power over people like Cazador had power over him in order to make sure no one could (or would even try to) force him back into the hell he just escaped from.
And this is just one of the reasons I think he is good representation. He shows some of the ugly of recovering from an abusive situation that some victims experience.
#astarion#i can promise it gets better or at least it did in my case#spent a few years as an absolute terror who went after any priest I could get my hands on and starting fights with everyone though#point is I regret that and I think Astarion would end up regretting ascension if he still had his soul afterwards#he is still very mad at the world for allowing him to suffer 200 years of absolute hell#he will learn to cope and maybe one day lose some of the anger#i don't care what yall prefer and am not trying to start discourse#i am pointing out a bit of tbe character that can be really relatable but that I often see being mentioned as a sign he us a dick#i prefer spawn because I like letting him break the cycle and finally be free#but whatever floats your boat#he isn't exactly in the best mental state at that point un time#point is don't condemn him right off the bat for wanting power because people can and do change#especially in his situation
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
im not handling it well folks
#im going to try my hardest to take a break from tumblr#funny. on oct 15 i said: no more tumblr. too much hate and discourse.#and ...#it was very comforting the first days but now im just so sad? i seriously cant move on and i think its bc of me being here#i see liam and im sad#i see any of the boys and im sad#i see posts from before oct 16 and im sad#i see posts from after oct 16 an im sad#any 1d mention#any death and grief#everything is hitting me bad#i see other celebrities i get sad#liam was finally on his way to make more music he loved. and sharing it with everybody. he should be here. alive.#i still have hotel and balcony filtered#i saw some weird blog investigating liam's passing???? what the fuck#im just so sad#im scared of checking facebook and insta. also knowing theres still ppl talking about this in a disrespectful way. people hating.#im trying not to let it get to me but it is affecting me#i dont know if me avoiding social media and any 1d mention will help#i tried reading fic bc i love fanfics so much (just hl i cant really read the other boys) but i couldnt#i still felt so heavy#pehwjkrhfkjhgg how do you do this#it really will hurt a lifetime#i will try to check in when zayn starts tour#goddddd poor darling#im saaaaaaaaad#much love yall <3#it did made me happy seeing you guys reblog stuff with love and fond. keep it going<3#will stick with youtube and twitch lol#🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
with how the splat 3 fanbase is acting about splatfests, you'd think there's something real and tangible on the line and not like, superficial bragging rights and a few extra snails. idk why people are sitting here and getting angry at shiver as if she's a real person who has any actual will to do anything and not just pixels on a screen, especially when there are legitimate issues with how splatfests are designed and run in splat3, and that's the devs and nintendo's fault, not shiver. she's not real and she can't do anything to you. and i've seen way more complaining about the concept of "toxic shiver stans who always pick shiver and ruin it for everyone" than i have any actual evidence that these kind of people exist on a mass scale. it really feels like that kind of person is a guy that the fanbase made up to be mad at every time they lose. i agree that there are huge problems with splat 3 but the moment someone lays the blame on shiver they throw all credibility out the window. it's not shiver, there's no evil cult of shiver stans manipulating the splatfests, and don't get me started on how people are talking about the asian playerbase with these splatfests.
#luminiscore#splatfest#splatoon 3#listen guys. ive been playing since splat 1. and let me tell you. even then it wasn't as bad as this#*old man voice* back in my day callie won almost every splatfest and we liked that JUST FINE. ok we didn't#but judging from numbers of past splatfests majority of the player base DOES pick based on what they like best and not the idol#so idk why im seeing people call for idols to be dettached from splatfest thats not gonna change the issues with balance#like i hate to break it to you all but majority of the splatoon player base are casuals who are not deep in the fandom if at all#and they do not care about what your ideas of fairness are. they just wanna play#and its stuff like. i think a lot of you seriously underestimate how popular stuff like vanilla ice cream is. it's not shiver#im just amazed and baffled by all the hatred and vitriol directed at shiver bc ive never seen this before with splatfest discourse#the WAHHH (insert winning team here) IS FULL OF EVIL SPAWN CAMPERS excuse is as old as time and should not be listened to. sorry#and in no world in a pvp game will the enemy roll over and let you win and play “fair” bc you want them to. thats not how it works#and i despise how whinging and screaming from a small and super toxic section of the fandom is poisoning discourse for casuals#touching grass isn't enough some of you guys need to start a garden
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."
I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.
Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.
#tales from diana#making unrebloggable bc i can't handle the discourse on this topic#my own experience with being abused and taken advantage of by someone who almost CERTAINLY had npd... just kinda breaks me#when i see this and it's like making it out to be 'everyone who says they suffered from narcissistic abuse is lying#or misunderstanding what narcissism is because ppl w npd would NEVER do this'#i can see that it's a highly stigmatized term and i don't want to act like an expert on what ppl w the condition go through#but i can tell you i felt deep sympathy for this man for a long time. i felt pity for all he'd gone through. but he'd just lay on the guilt#for every little thing i did that ever displeased him for any reason. he just degraded and disrespected me. and USED me#he used me for money for attention for CONSTANT attention oh my god#he wouldn't even let me go to sleep sometimes before 3 am. and he stole so much money from me#he put me in physical danger. he gossiped about me to all my friends when i was starting to distance myself#before i even came to terms with just how toxic he was to me.#and every time i just wanted to go somewhere wo him or even just stay at home by myself#it was about HIM. it was about how HE felt about it. he had ZERO sympathy for me and i handled all his emotional labor#this man couldn't even think for himself. he brought all his problems to me for me to sort through bc he was so inept and shallow#he was lazy he was careless he didn't listen to ppl he was casually rude#i didn't allow myself to accept these parts of him bc of all he suffered through i felt like he was just a sad little boy#who never learned manners or etiquette or. just. respect#basic respect. as much as i outlined what i wasn't ok w and what hurt me. it didn't matter to him#and NONE of these things are inherently the things that make me think he has npd#his actual suffering and the things i felt bad for him about were very real and severe#but i know what happened between us and i know he was abusive to me. the ppl writing these posts do not.#to say that someone has been abusive in an interpersonal relationship should be something we should be able to respect#and give ppl the benefit of the doubt. and victims may OFTEN not be well-informed about their own abusers' issues#but ppl can just know whether or not they were abused. regardless of if they fully grasp the why and how#if victims say something problematic or paint w a broad brush talking abt ppl who have something in common w their abuser#we should still correct that gently and kindly and not dismiss their experience outright#like i can't believe i have to say that. but i've seen some seriously upsetting posts on here recently.
4 notes
·
View notes