#also if u thought the gym discourse i started was a one day thing

[lexosaurus]

Okay but for real though jokes aside, I genuinely do not care about what people ship, and I don't think people should be being harassed over what they ship. Assuming everybody is tagging everything correctly, I'm in favor of just block/filter/mute and move on. What other people do is really none of my goddamn business. I actually have my own business where I spot while you lift weights but the catch is that I don't help you when things start to go south, I just encourage you to fight for your life cause that's where the real motivation is 😤🤙

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Pretty please, would you ship me with the band and the cast? I'm a hetero girl who is a PhD student in Media Discourse. I don't don't like my looks at all and struggle with self-esteem problems. I'm always friendly and kind to people. I hate talking about myself and being the centre of attention. Absolutely clueless in romance and all intimate things, I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to this. Perfectionist. Quiet. I love making jokes and sarcastic comments, books, movies, TV series, walks ^^

HELLOOOOO

hi u sound like a precious BEAN of a human i would genuinely love u if i knew you in person i attach so hard to ppl like you it is 100% my cancer tendencies ALSO HELLO FELLO MEDIA MAJOR I’M AN INTERACTIVE DIGITAL MEDIA: NEW MEDIA MAJOR but not a phd i am a dumb

anyways THE SHIPS R BELOW THE CUT

For the band, I ship you with John Deacon!

You are genuinely made for John, and he is made for you, for obvious reasons.

The biggest reason is your proclivity towards sarcastic comments. 

You had actually been Brian’s friend before you met Deacon, and Brian introduced you to the him after a show one night early on in the 70′s. You already knew the other boys because they hung around Brian’s so much, but Deacon tended to keep to himself and had his own small friend circle apart from them, so he was never around when you were.

Boy, did he regret that once he met you.

Deacon was very shy at first, as were you, but what caught his eye was the effortless way you managed to roast Roger without disrupting your quiet demeanor in any way.

“And then I said to her, ‘you ever seen the ceiling of the back of my car? would you like to?’“ Roger had said, earning a quiet scoff and eye roll from you that almost went unnoticed, save for Brian’s eagle eye. Brian loved to piss Roger off, and nothing would make him angrier than a girl who was unimpressed by his tactics.

“Not a fan, eh?” Brian asked, elbowing you as John watched you curiously, sipping his drink while you cleared your throat, glancing at Roger almost disdainfully, but not in a mean-spirited way.

“No disrespect, but I’ve heard better pick-up lines from a fortune cookie, Rog,” you remarked plainly, taking a drink of your beer as Roger’s face quickly soured, John almost choking on his drink and holding a hand over his mouth as you looked over at him with a smile and a kind gaze. “You alright?”

“Yeah, m’fine,” Deacon spoke from behind his hand, grabbing a napkin to wipe himself off as Roger scowled, still glaring at you.

“What? You think my one-liners are bad? I personally don’t.”

“Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.... Oh wait,” you teased, making Roger roll his eyes before he steered the conversation in another direction, Deacon snickering at the purposeful irony in your comment and gaining another wide smile from you before you happily returned to your quiet observing.

After that, Deacon was suddenly finding time to come around Brian’s, and he only ever stuck around when you were there. Although he claimed it wasn’t because of you, Brian was all too aware of Deacon’s partiality towards you, so he took it upon himself to set you up on a blind date with each other, just for shits and giggles.

Much to Brian’s enjoyment, you both hit it off on the blind date when you got the chance to banter by yourselves, and though John’s more affectionate tendencies confused you at first, you grew to love each and every one of his romantic gestures.

He always knew just how to structure them so you wouldn’t feel too put on the spot, and he never drew attention to them - after all, they were for you to enjoy, not the public, so he never made a big deal out of being showy.

When you were still just casually dating before he’d asked you to be his girlfriend, you’d come to your apartment one night after a particularly long shift at work. 

John had come in during that shift to see you, and you were sad to see him go. His smile had the power to make your day loads better, and when he had to leave, you were pretty bummed. 

So, it was a big surprise when you walked into your apartment to see Brian and Deacon in the kitchen, making what smelled like a heavenly pot of spaghetti. Dropping your bag on the hallway floor, you stared at them in partial confusion and partial amazement as you walked in, Brian turning around and jumping a bit before smiling and wiping his hands on a towel.

“That’s my cue to leave,” he mumbled, passing by and giving you a quick, friendly kiss on the head before he was out the door, leaving you alone with a very smiley Deacon.

“What’s all this?” you asked, genuinely baffled at what laid before you. Your table was cleared off - it had stacks upon stacks of books that you’d read tons of times, but never tired of. There were two sets of plates and silverware set out, and you watched as Deacon brought the spaghetti over to the table, sitting it on an oven pad before doing the same with a plate of garlic bread.

“Saw you weren’t having a good day at work,” he replied, “Figured I’d come cheer you up, but had to recruit a little help.”

“Gosh, did I really look that rough at work? I mean, I know I usually look pretty rough, but I must have been horrifying for you to do all this,” you laughed, rubbing the back of your neck as you ducked your head a bit.

Deacon pursed his lips at your small self-deprecating comment, then shook his head as he wiped his hands on the towel as well. 

“You always look beautiful, sweetheart.” His voice was quiet, but sure, and you found yourself blushing as you sat down at the table across from where he was standing, avoiding his gaze. “Hey, I mean it,” he almost whined, sitting down across from you and waving his hand to draw your attention back to his face. “You’re adorable, and you should know that.”

He asked you to be his girlfriend later that night, and spent the rest of the time showering you in compliments to make sure you knew you were gorgeous and perfect in every way to him.

What a little romantic.

Annnnnnd for borhap.... I ship you with Rami Malek!

GOD his energy confuses/scares me so much ANYWAYS

Rami was always your favorite of the friends in the BoRhap group - he wasn’t snobby (here’s looking at you, first impressions Gwilym), he wasn’t too goofy (@ Joe sorry buddy), and he wasn’t absolutely intimidating (Ben looks like he lives, eats, and breathes gym). Allen, Lucy, and Aaron were closer to the others than they were to you, but then there was Rami. He was just Rami, a slightly awkward, mildly anxious guy who loved to be around his friends, but also valued privacy. 

This value of privacy is what initially attracted you to him, oddly enough. Joe, Gwilym, Allen, and Ben were all having a heyday with their social medias, posting dorky pictures of each other and screwing around while you hung back, not wanting to be involved or in any of the pictures.

“You too, huh?” Rami asked, coming to stand next to you as you watched them goof around with each other. You looked over to Rami, shrugging and smiling.

“Not really my thing, honestly.” He nodded and gave you a reassuring smile, looking slightly nervous as he glanced over to the crew as well.

“I’m right there with you. I think my Instagram has maybe 2 posts on it... or is it 3?” he wondered aloud, his thoughtful face making you giggle and shake your head as you hugged yourself. “Want to go take a stroll around the studio instead?”

Looking up at him, you considered for a moment before nodding. “That sounds lovely.”

And from there, you two clearly became each other’s favorites. As much as the rest of the cast would have liked to insert themselves into your friendship to make fun posts about it online, you and Rami always found a way to keep your kinship (and eventual relationship) under wraps. It wasn’t necessarily that you hated social media, it was that you preferred to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible.

Even though Rami was the star, he also preferred the same thing. He didn’t want to steal the limelight when he didn’t feel that he deserved it.

The first stroll you’d taken with him? That turned into a regular occurrence.

Whenever you two had the chance, you were taking a walk together, even if you had no particular place in mind to end it. One time, he took you on a walk that he claimed was completely random, but as you got closer to one of your favorite bookstores in London, you started to smell the hint of a planned location by him.

“I knew I shouldn’t have believed you,” you giggled as you entered the bookstore, Rami holding open the door for you. 

“Hey, I may not be a king of nice gestures, but I tried for you,” he complained playfully, bumping your hip with his before he nodded over to the corner, where there was a small coffee bar run by a single barista you’d come to know by name.

“Hello there, lovebirds,” the barista greeted as you came up, making you blush and Rami rub his jaw in slightly embarrassment. “I’m just joking with you, haven’t seen you two in a while. The usual?”

“Well, you know, filming. And yes, please,” Rami had replied, stepping to move out of someone’s way as they came in the door behind you. His hand came to rest on your mid-back, but it stayed there when the door swung shut. 

You didn’t mind, though. Simple little things like that were preferred by you anyways, seeing as you weren’t a big fan of showiness or grand romantic gestures. Things like a hand on the back, or holding hands was perfectly okay for you - they were easier to understand, and easier to pull off without ending up a blushing mess.

Which, speaking of, you were still currently a blushing mess from the barista calling you two lovebirds. Rami noticed, raising an eyebrow at you gently before smiling and pressing his thumb into your back slightly, just to get your attention.

“What’s the matter? Don’t want to be here right now? We can go if you want.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you laughed softly, pressing your hands to your cheeks and sighing before laughing again. “Just getting used to the dating thing. God, I feel like I look like a tomato right now.”

“It’s cute,” Rami remarked simply, grabbing both of your drinks before heading over to one of the tables near the back, where you could sit in private and just relax. 

“Me being red as a fire truck is not cute, Rami.” He laughed at that, shaking his head and taking a drink of his coffee as he sat back on the chair that he’d scooted over so he could be next to you.

“Everything about you is cute, don’t lie to me.” You turned even redder, if that was possible at all, and Rami laughed softly as he wrapped his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder before kissing your head. “I’m being honest, really! You’re a cutie, don’t ever forget that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you laughed nervously, subconsciously leaning into his touch as you sipped at your drink. “Joe lets the entire Instagram universe know that on the daily.”

“If Joe brings you in here and the barista also calls you two lovebirds... I’m fighting him hand-to-hand. And that’s a fact.”

[deuce-duce]

Courage To Grow

Before I continue forward small disclaimer. Lol! During these activities I will be going over I’m usually listening to music. Music helps me maintain the mood and vibration that I have achieved through resetting and feeding my mood!

Picking up somewhere, where I left off, begins with feeding my mood by feeding my mind. For my mood essentially dictates my productivity tactfulness and my ability to absorb new information and skills so that they might benefit me when the right situation arises.

When I am in a bad mood I’m unreceptive, nothing flows and Murphy’s Law begins to take full affect (anything that can go wrong, will go wrong)!! Things escalate, much quicker and always seem harder or more complicated then they need to be.

If my mood regulates what Im able to accomplish, then I better learn how to regulate my mood!! There are many different ways to enhance your mood and overall well-being, which I’ll discuss later. Right now I just want to explain how I get myself out of bed everyday with tenacity and a positive outlook to keep fighting the good fight!

Before I jump into that I have to explain a little... re.... wi....nd....!! To the 28th of January 2021.

So I really wanted to write on the 28th... I had it all planned out and really thought I would be able to pull it off. Unfortunately all the things I had grown accustomed to remaining the same and being unchanging i.e. the little things, were suddenly causing me discourse. I won’t bore you with the specifics, in reality the people involved don’t deserve the time attention or energy. Let’s just say I was In a place I’m not in very often because of how it makes me feel. Amidst the noise and haste I was still able to get done a couple of the things I needed to, laundry & a couple other things for work.

Off to work I went!! Frustrated and irritated... UGH.... shortly after embarking on my commute to work I was about to enter the park, then right in front of me were two pairs of birds soaring through the sky. These birds stayed in their pairs but would separate from the group and then reconvene. Immediately I completely forgot about the irritation and frustration and was ear to ear hahaha even after the birds were out of sight I couldn’t stop smiling! I think this was my sign that what I have been telling you is correct! For it really is the little things, the silver linings that really make the cloudy days worth living! It also gave testimony to even though my life has been really hard it truly is SO.... Beautiful!!

After a hellacious day at work LOL (really wasn’t that bad) I was walking home and as I cut through the park like any other day I crossed the Good Bridge and then the other as I was crossing I was looking down and realized that the ground and the water were glowing almost! I stopped dead in my tracks looked up and was confronted with the bright beams of January’s full moon! Dubbed the Wolf Moon. Now although this next part is just a coincidence, Metamorphosis was playing and the last verse had just started... I’m sure you know what happened next... I turned on my camera and took pictures!! Lol when my camera came on the music turned off I was like awe.... in disappointment but then all I could hear was the rushing sound of the river and felt at peace within myself! It was really cool! after I finished taking pics and continued walking I couldn’t stop looking at the 🌝 and then the clouds blew in front of it and it was gone... hmm.... maybe there really is a Man on the Moon...! The other strange part about this coincidence was it was literally in the same place I saw the 4 birds soaring earlier that day.

When things like this occur I never really quite know how to explain em. I feel crazy right now explaining this to you and what happened because of how far fetched it sounds and I definitely could be compounding events associating meaning with events that aren’t even meaningful. But being aware of synchronicities and patterns is the key to hearing that which is never said... “ohhhh 💩 did he just say he hears things that aren’t said... like hears voices...??? CRAY!!” But then again your opinion doesn’t matter this is my story and this is what happened to me. I think it’s cool and crazy tbh but definitely worth it for me to share. Once again I’ll reiterate the song Be Aware by SOJA. I could also go into telling you how powerful the moon is and how it affects our planet and population but I’ll let you ✔️that out on your own. Once again it’s the little things that really are the big things... sometimes we’re too concerned with things that maybe we shouldn’t let consume us that we miss on that which is going on around us. #stayinginthemoment

The 29th was a day spent enjoying all the things I like doing. I had a day off so I spent it listening to some new music sleeping... I even spent some time in the gym. Thought about writing on both the 29th and 30th but just wasn’t feeling it... and if you haven’t grasped it yet I’m definitely hooked on a feeling... it was also important for me to pay homage to modern day Kings. ❤️✊!! Then the 31st rolled around I worked something like 13 hrs and really didn’t think I would be putting my best foot forward if I did... and so I wait! Besides what better day to write then 02-01 of 2021 unfortunately they are coming at me like machine guns and couldn’t pull it off! But hey there’s always today and really it couldn’t be more fitting 2-2 is always a great day to drop. So before I go any further I just would like to say... thank You for without you there would be no me no 2-2 so I will salute you and bid you adooo all in one motion, Cheerio!!

Alright enough 🤡’in around... back to moods. As I’ve started discovering and uncovering that which keeps me in a state of tranquility, promoting spiritual growth and elevation of my consciousness I have changed a lot of what I follow on the Gram. Of course I still follow a lot of scantily clad lasses for I am a man... I just decided I should follow more of what makes my soul smile as well. To me that’s many different kinds of art; fashion, jewelry, photography, music, nature, awakening as well as different opinions and perspectives. Why?!?! Even though I might not agree or resonate with another’s opinion or perspective it’s still good to know. My English teacher would always drive home the point of the more ya know... the more ya know... I thought it was just so you could be a well refined individual but there’s more to it then that by increasing your knowledge you begin cultivating that which is called an open mind. Which could also be the opening of your 3rd eye. But we will discuss that after I explain how I get myself out of bed each day with tenacity and and a positive mindset to take on the day and continue fighting the good fight!

Why the Gram??? There’s so much free thought on there that you literally could jump down rabbit hole after rabbit hole increasing your knowledge, know how and giving you subjects and skills to research on your own. Sometimes I watch movies by accident and then it’s almost like I was meant to watch that movie at that time... it’s crazy (Avengers End Game) 😭😭 so if a movie is calling out for u to watch it you probably should. 2 things I can’t stress enough!! Learn about that which speaks to you and moves you not someone else for your individuality is the most valuable thing you will ever have in your life. Is it good to learn about things others know YES! But if you realize that it’s not providing you with anything and your just not feeling it... then... just let it go keep what you have learned but don’t put a lot of effort into it. Focus on what moves you. Stress point 2 when learning something new there are going to be things your not going to understand anytime that happens to me I open up a browser and figure out what is being discusssd or described. So that I have a better understanding of something. If you need to you can always ask someone as well but if it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t add up keep doing your own research!! I guess there are three points to make 3rd is question Everything!! Literally everything, when something is off or doesn’t sit right with you there is usually a reason. I realize this is a lot to throw at you all at once but this is what I notice in myself and what i do so hopefully something can benefit you.

When learning new things, it at times can be discouraging maintaining the information what I have done that works for me is associating what I’m learning with something I already know. For instance I have a really hard time remembering peoples names so I’m working on associating peoples names with people I already know. Start with small stuff that’s easy to remember and gradually build because although things are different and may seem complex the fundamental components and principles involved apply to most things. Once you figure those things out!! You’ll be boooommmmiiiinnnn! Because you’ll be able to apply what you already know to what your learning... snowballs after that!

After I hit my ceiling in new information I just stop we all have our moments where we’re just like ugh!! That’s enough!! causing me to get my rear in gear!! Now that I’m out of bed it’s time to use what I have learned maybe not that day but I try to practice putting the things that I have resonated and agreed with into action. This solidifies what I have learned and opens my mind for more information. When I do this, it is what exponentially feeds my mood for that day and the next!! For it reassures me that I am capable and worthy! Giving me the confindence in myself to do it again the next day, boosting my confindence skills and the feeling that I can believe in myself once again!!

The one thing that I had to learn while going through this process was to be gentle on myself. Before I would get angry anytime I didn’t understand something. I would curse myself saying your so... stupid!! I realize now that was only causing me to lower my vibrational frequency making it even harder for me to learn anything new or... remember and use that which I already knew. So be gentle with yourself... you owe it to yourself and your worth it!

I’ll end with something I have kind of always known but choose not to practice. The most important thing you can do every morning is hydrate hydrate hydrate!!!! Then moderately caffeinate. I’ll explain why this is important on my next post. I can’t tell you when ... that will be... I’m going to plan for tomorrow but as we know... things don’t always go as planned

Have a great day everyone

🦅🌝

Songs for today

Courage to Grow ~ Revolution

My Life Alone ~ SOJA

Being Me ~ Jack and The Weatherman

[darkstrangevirgilanxiboi]

High School Trends That I Remember Fondly

Okay so let me share with you all some quality high school trends from my days in high school because boy were we a bunch of sass masters These all took place from 2007 -2012 because I went to a weird fusion school that lumped every grade from 7th to 12th together ( that means we had thirteen year olds up to 18-19 year olds in the same school ) Anyway let's go 7th Grade( I was a smol 13 year old) First off there were like 30 kids in each class okay? So.... - Pencils as hair decor ???? Why???? - Swiping needles from Home Ec and sticking them in your finger JUST under the surface of the skin to freak out the teach - Referring to lunch as ' the troph special' -Girls sending guys Valentine's that just said ' U R No Good ' and ' Allen Ur Not In My League ' - Guys sending girls tiny stuffed animals for V Day with cards that said ' I'm Soft For U' and ' Be My Plush One?' - Claiming various things had ' killed our ancestors ' : ' I can't do long division , my thirty seventh great grandfather died doing that' ' No I can't answer that question sir, every male in my family so far has died answering English questions ' ' I'm not allowed to be disciplined , discipline killed my grandma' - Wearing rubber bands as bracelets or rings and the tighter you could get it the cooler you were ???? This kid almost lost a finger by third period I mean ..... -Asking our biology teacher what would happen if insects could speak every class period ' What if wasps could speak but they only spoke Mid-6th Century English ' ' What if spiders all speak Russian' ' Do you think bees know English ' - Pestering our history teacher for the history of the Leaf Village ( I'm sorry Mr. Hoagland ) - Replying ' Deleted' when your name was called ..... I accidentally started this one 8th grade ( I was 14 ) - Rap battles to settle arguments ???? - Yoyo fights. It got intense. -Every white boy in school dressed like a bad Western movie character , cowboy hats and spurs and SO.MUCH.PLAID. - ' The Dew Crew', a gang of boys who drank nothing but Mountain Dew as refreshment , was born and monopolized the school's soda supply of Mountain Dew . All of them made it to adulthood but it is suspected they no longer require sleep and eat only the disdainful glares of women for survival ( at their peak there were 15 of them ) - Intense shouting of someone else's name every time something went wrong ( usually the name Sasuke ) - Pentagrams everywhere ; drawn on any surface we could find unsupervised for a second , started by me doodling in art class and picked up by my squad . The school board thought someone was possessed by the devil it was GREAT.... I NEVER GOT CAUGHT - In Chemistry we watched Finding Nemo about 3 times a week because the teacher was really forgetful and he let us watch it when he forgot his lesson plan , so by the end of the first month that year every kid he taught would call various roundish objects ' the butt' and I was nicknamed' Dory ' by everyone I knew Also the principal was nicknamed' Bruce" -Hardcore Zombie prep planning , there was a gang and everything . The Apoca-Punks are still strong - Disney discourse in English class because our teacher was a huge nerd for Disney and loved nothing more than to watch us argue over which princess would beat Gaston in a fight faster ( Kida won by a landslide but we all agreed Mulan would murder him in five seconds flat ) Also he nicknamed all of us after Disney characters and I was Lilo ( my best friend was Stitch ) - Okay so I brought a bag of chocolate as a treat for the class one week and I was really tired and out of it so when the teacher ( our English teacher Mr . Bagley, who was also the principal) asked me to ' explain the historical properties of chocolate' I got sarcastic and went ' For many years chocolate has been used in medicinal treatments for ailments of all kinds. Perhaps it will even cure the lack of hair on Mr . B's head' ...... For a second it was dead silent and then he laughed and said "Well put , you continue to live up to your nickname, Lilo!" - Shakespeare quotes at inopportune times " Exit, pursued by a bear" " We are in the middle of a test , Austin. " " A rose , by any other name , would smell-" " DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM INDI" - The drama kids dramatically snapping during arguments - Okay so there was this weird loft zone in the second gym( because our school had two , a sucktastic old one from the fifties and a newish one from the eighties ) nobody was supposed to go up there unless they had permission and it was for filming a basketball game ??? But everyone went up there anyway and at least ten couples lost their virginity up there ( what a weird place to do it tho , we kept the wrestling mats up there) I sluffed class a few times and took a nap there And it became a Thing to draw a little baby face on the wall if you lost your V card there -Supergluing coins to stuff???? There's still a dime on someone's locker and it's been like ten years -' Ambrosia' , AKA this super delicious combo of cherry slurpee , Sprite, and orange Fanta that our English teacher made us during parties . He literally made it in these huge plastic bins and just ladeled it out to everyone 9th Grade( I was 15) - The Goth Invasion Everyone who was punk enough wore black ripped jeans and eyeliner and streaked their hair with red and black One kid never left the Goth phase , we love u Scott ( it's cool he was our school's Warren Peace anyway ) - AFTER A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY VIEWING OF SKY HIGH FOR HALLOWEEN MY CLASSMATE SCOTT WAS NICKNAMED WARREN BY THE ENTIRE SCHOOL He was really salty about it too , he said " Warren isn't goth he's Punk there's a difference you capitalist Bible thumpers' Scott got 54 Valentine's that year but just shrugged and gave his candy to me and my squad because we were , as he put it ' the only punk crew in class, plus you're all really cute ' He never kept a girlfriend very long but he was the nicest guy you've ever seen ( everyone thought he was gay but just too shy to say it ) Over the years he is consistly hotter , and more unashamedly Goth - My sister arrived in school and was immediately the most popular kid in school and was nicknamed ' Princess ' - My squad got nicknamed ' Squad 7 " due to our obsession with Naruto and other anime , and we each were nicknamed after characters from the show by my friend Indi ( who was named after Indiana Jones, no lie) Melanie was ' Kiba' ( which delighted her because she would marry him in a heartbeat ) Mackenzie was ' Neji' because according to Indi she was the most monologue-y Chandra was ' Hinata' because she was shy but fierce And I, Aubrey , was ' Gaara' because according to Indi :' Your dad is kinda sucky and you've got two siblings . You're sort of the social outcast of school and when you get annoyed enough it's like you've got this terrifying supernatural thing in your eyes , I love it ' I LOVE THAT NICKNAME 10th Grade( I'm 16) - ' Because I'm Batman ' being an answer to every question - Goonies puns - Three girls got pregnant and were called the ' Baby On Board Squad" - Due to this teen pregnancy scandal , my heavily Christian community had our school hold assemblies about how ' Sex will kill you' and how ' every time a teen has Sex Thoughts, an angel cries' ..... There were ' God Is Abstintent ' posters everywhere So naturally we revolted and the drama class put up these fliers reading ' Without Sex, You Wouldn't Be Around . ' ' Satan Loves You and Wants You To Explore Your Perfectly Normal Urges ' ' Sex Won't Kill You- But STD's Could! Use Protection! ' ' Wrap It Before He Taps It And The Angels Won't Be Crying " " Boys Like Girls.Boys Think Of Girls In Sexual Ways. Boys Best Treat Her Right First . Boys Best Be Stepping Up As Baby Daddys If They Tap Dat " And many more golden rebellious posters - Shouting " Go Go Power Rangers " when dealing with a problem and just out of nowhere any kid wearing the appropriate Power Ranger colored shirt would appear So you'd get a guy in red , a guy in blue , a guy in black , a guy in white , a guy in green , a guy in gold , a guy in silver, a girl in pink and a girl in yellow and they'd all pose dramatically and do the Power Rangers moves - Rubber band slingshot warfare using hairpins as ammo - The school dividing into Benders and Non Benders , and the school's most loved outcast was deemed Avatar( I got the honor so my squad was nicknamed accordingly ) - High School Musical was the biggest thing ever because our music teacher WROTE THE SCORES FOR THEM I MEAN....... We all knew every song by heart that year Everyone shipped Chad and Ryan 11th Grade( I was 17 ) -Percy Jackson was huge and everyone wanted a godly parent - Every girl used a dramatic break up song to end things with her man it was GLORIOUS - Taylor Swift was playing on the radio every day - My class finally realized that my friend Courtney and I had the same exact birthday and birth year , and thus introduced us to substitute teachers as ' The Fraternal Twins' Courtney and I are both gonna be 23 on March 20 at 6:40 am - Our history teacher thought my friends and I were in an assassin cult because we were always drawing kunai knives and swords and guns , so he banned kunai drawing????? And it thus became the Cool Thing to graffiti everywhere??? All because I drew one on my ASVAB???? -The sheriff pulled me out of homeroom because I'd been overheard singing P!nk's " Funhouse" and the Secretary thought I was an arsonist because of the line " I'm gonna burn this sucker down " and thus rumors spread like wildfire that I'd: ~ Murdered someone ~ Witnessed a crime ~ Started a gang war ~ Shot a cop ~ Robbed the one gas station in town ~ Insulted the sheriff's daughter by not inviting her to my birthday party so he was here to bribe me to do so ~ Stolen the sheriff's prized collection of horse paintings 12th Grade ( I was 18 ) - Posters everywhere about the world ending ( it was 2012) - Harry Potter mania - John Lennon Memes???? No really on the anniversary of his death the school was flooded with posters of him everywhere saying " In Loving Memory Of A Dreamer " and the radio only played his music and the drama class went around stating facts about his death it was surreal and I was part of it

[badbye-seoul]

letter #34

september 15, 2019 12:53 am

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

so let me start from the top.

him and i were still going on with our thing when classes started, so when Zig¹ came, i really didn't pay much attention to him. although i did see na he's cute the first time i saw him but that's that. then i started working out in the school gym, and i've been seeing Sharko² there ever since. we became friends agad, to be honest, thanks to charm who's like,,, a social butterfly. and then absent kasi ako ng isang araw and missed discourse so charm filled me in with what happened that day. she said na Zig passed daw when he got called,, and thats like a mortal sin when you're in mass communication or at least when you're in ma'am doi's class. so when i heard that, that's an immediate turn-off. one thing was running through my mind and that was "shet he passed kay ma'am doi, you're forever tainted in her mind. also,, you could've been crush material".

then Sharko introduced us to him, Charm to be specific, i was just there standing beside her but he technically saw me lol jsjzjsjss. then Charm and Kath started teasing me with him,,, saying that I like Zig even though i dont. so i panicked of course. i immediately thought of what he would think or say when he hears that lol wtf. at that time, i was just starting to pay attention to him in class. then charm introduced me to him and him to me last Thursday. you know when you don't really like a person but someone teases u with them and now u suddenly like them? yes. yes that's me right now and yes, i like Zig. i tried denying it but he actually is cute. he also gave a speech when ma'am doi gave him a chance so that's good, all is good.

i stalked him on facebook, on his youtube account, his sister's account, his churchmates', his seatmate. and there was one thing that disturbed me when i watched his youtube video, he was referring to the Philippines as a lower country than the country he used to live in. idk if i just misheard it (i will update u) or if he really sees the country like that. but we'll see. i might message him soon, maybe talk to him soon as well. I don't know. but one thing's for sure,,, I like him. and that's good bc when i saw h i s twitter profile today, my heart didnt do the thing it used to do. i'm slowly moving on,,, but i'm glad i am.

i like you, Gian. just in case you see this.

¹gian ; ²brian

ps. i dont want a commitment,,, but u're an exception. jowain mo na ko, that's totally fine with me kandkajsj