#lets get muffins
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new child fragment emerged but this time we grounded and i think im getting a better picture of what seemingly minor things really traumatised me
#my posts#by seemingly minor of course i mean. the lifetime of being abandoned when in need and nobody ever showing me kindness#im just struggling to understand how i feel about it#boyfriend very rightly pointed out that its probably that im struggling to let myself be honest about how much it hurt me#and when he said that i wanted to cry and tell him everything about how i wish anybody had been kind and anybody had helped me#when i begged them for it. acted out for it. asked for it. just lay there#theres many such traumas#yesterday a specific repressed memory was trying to turn up but its definitely not an isolated event#in fact a few of my parts and several fragments are linked to assorted experiences being failed and ignored and abandoned#the consequence of a self sufficient kid i guess#a lot of my kids are bearing the burden of never being shown love or kindness and they all experience it in different ways#but the root cause is getting clearer. whoda thought it was the Entire Life#i just want to be picked up and held for once and not just left lying there unable to move#its ok. i pick myself up. and boyfriend will too when hes here#lets get muffins
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers#they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy#but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure#respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys#I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years#anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period#i was always at my besties house lol#i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever...#bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday đâŽď¸
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TAKIISHI CHIKA IN CHAPTER 153
#â§* ę takiishi chika#đŻđťđŽđŞđ´đ đ´đ˛đ´đ˛#TAKIISHI CHIKA I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU#I WANT TO BITE YOU / EAT YOU / KISS YOU / CONSUME YOU / DEVOUR YOU / CLAIM YOU / DO EVERYTHING TO YOU#SWEETHEART LOVE DARLING HONEY ANGEL SWEETIE BOO DEAREST SUNSHINE CUPCAKE GEM PRECIOUS GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL BELOVED CHARMING MY EVERYTHING ADO#SOULMATE TREASURE MY LOVE ENCHANTING LOVELY HEARTBEAT ANGEL FACE CUDDLE BUG SWEET PEA SPARK BUTTERCUP FIREFLY DREAMBOAT BUTTERFLY STARSHINE#SWEETS POOKIE SNUGGLE MUFFIN DARLINGHEART STARLIGHT MOONBEAM CUPID SWEETY PIE FLOWER DAZZLE BELOVED ANGEL POOH BEAR SUNKISS HARMONY SWEET C#TAKIISHI CHIKA DON'T MAKE ME GO EVEN MORE INSANE / BOY YOU DRIVE ME TO THE EDGE AND I WILL DIVE IN FULLY LET ME DROWN#I HATE YOU CHIKA I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME OBSESSED WITH YOU I WILL NEVER GET A REAL BF LIKE THAT#PLEASE BE REAL AND LET ME LOVE YOU AND BE YOUR COOL GF I CAN KICK ASS TOO IM SO GOOD AT FIGHTING#I CAN TWIST HANDS I CAN KICK HIGH WE WILL BE SO HOT TOGETHER#i mean we are alr together in my silly little brain#GUYS PLEASE IM NOT WEIRD IF I CANT HAVE A REAL BOY TO OBSESS AND LOVE / I HAVE TO COPE SMH PLEASUE UNDERSTAND THIS#I MEAN MY MAN IS THE BEST ISN'T HE HMM#kichi / takikishi forever#F O R E V E R#MONSTER MY BABY IS A MONSTER#IM IN LOVE WITH A MONSTER#EXPECT SO MANY CHIKA CONTENT AS USUAL#YOUR CHEEKS I WILL EAT THEM AND KISS THEM AND BITE THEM#takiishi#takiishi x reader#takiishi chika
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Chat we might be getting the Main Five OUAW plushies
#anyways this post is sponsored by my friends anonymous donation of a hundred and ten bucks#this wouldnt be possible without you Muffin đĽš#i was originally gonna get kremy and gid but then my friend was like âmmmno no lets get you the other three tooâ#thats sorta how that discord convo went#BUT YEAH LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO#idk where im gonna out em tho XD#bear rambles#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#im so excited guys you have NO IDEA#i mean id like to have all seven but tbh i can live without twig and chuckles#I know ouaw got popular bc of chuckles and thats what everyone wants#but eh. i like the other five instead :3
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c755ea092a5e324e62e6ab455408844d/65a79101c1ae6b01-9c/s540x810/7c88d9a93daf096db2937e7242a468cdf353927c.jpg)
Jazz, but he's 29! >:D
I've wanted to do an adult Jazz design for a while, and now I have. >:3
Victory is mine.
And if anybody's curious about Donnie's situation, he's Jazz's boyfriend. (In my head, pls don't come after me.) Suffice it to say, he feels... conflicted.
#rottmnt#rottmnt oc#yes he's giving you both of his middle fingers#deal with it#the birds have been flipped#there's no going back now#MUFFIN GET OVER HERE >:/#he's also a ffing wh*re#idc what you think of that#he's 29#let the man live his life the way he wants to live it#>:P#traditional art#save rottmnt#yes#he's still#gay#i like how the gender/sexuality/other whatever tags are coloured#i'll stop tagging now#or not#I did it again#oh well#:P#MUFFIN COME HERE >:I
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alright chat . it's time for "dissecting the inherent tragedy of transformers: botbots and the relationships in them":
toxic doomed yuri edition ( referring to these two â )
(yes, i made this picmix myself 4 this. i have no regrets. also no tl;dr because you guys NEED to read this)
something i want y'all to understand is that it is Not about the idea that spud wasn't loved. he was VERY much loved by everyone, ESPECIALLY burgertron.
the whole point is that he sabotaged himself in the process of ruining someone else's life, someone who valued him and his word above others. he and burgertron BOTH let their ego get in the way of their personal lives, the only difference is that burgertron at least had the dignity to swallow his pride and apologise when it mattered most.
He gave spud a second chance because he loved him. because he recognised that he does deserve redemption, and above all else, he wants spud to know he cares, even if that means he'll never see him again, or they'll never be friends. (Even in light of the "sidekick" comment, i genuinely don't think he held any inherent malice in that statement. even if burgs was an egotist, he still loved him.)
the worst thing burgertron did in their relationship was be unaware, and im sure that despite his ego, he never meant for spud to get hurt. that's why he went out of his way to protect him, when he couldve just stood there and let spud get put on the back of a truck to never be seen again. it would have been easy.
but he didn't. he did the hard thing. the Right thing. he stood up for someone who never did the same for him.
Spud Was Loved. Spud Is loved. and sometimes love isn't going to look pretty, or manifest in holding hands and cuddling, and it isn't all rainbows and sunshine. it can hurt. it can be letting go of someone who you hurt by accident, who you never meant to harm, but it happened anyways because you made the fatal mistake of being oblivious.
And that's what Burgertron did. he let Spud go, because he understood they both needed time to heal on their own terms. regardless of if he's mad at him or not, he does still harbor positive feelings for him, and he stood up for him during times he probably shouldn't have. If he ACTUALLY hated spud, he wouldn't have stuck his neck out for him at bot prom. or believe spud when he was lying through his teeth in the games.
And that's what makes them so tragic. perhaps in another world, another life, they'd have been Actual good friends, who truly stuck by each other. maybe things would have been different.
But we'll never know that now, will we?
#botbots tag đŞ#tf botbots#botbots#transformers botbots#media analysis#character analysis#picmix#gif warning#burgertron#spud muffin#they make me feel SHRIMP emotions you dobt GET IT#they were DOOMED from the start not of their own volition but because of other people deciding what their roles were going to be#and they obviously coped with that in their own very different ways that clashed with one another!!!!!!#but despite all of that burgertron is still WILLING to pick up the pieces if it means spud is going to be ok#because it's not about his ego or fame anymore. it's about how much he loves his friends even if their dynamic is soured#their breakup was messy and awful and resulted in a lot of pain#but he's not going to let his anger get the best of him: he WANTS spud to get better#he wants HIMSELF to get better#i want season 2 so fucking bad holy shit PLEASE#the themes of loss and growth are so important in this show it has just hit me#FUCKKKKKKK#im gonna be insane about this forever
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CELLBIT IS ROBBING THE GREEN TEAM AND CHARLIE HAS KIDNAPPED AN NPC WE'RE SO BACK
#qsmp#LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO#CELLBIT'S LEAVING A SIGN THAT SAYS âGET MUFFINED 0_0â#LET'S GO BOLAS ROJAS
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frye đđđđ
#(the smiths voice) please please please let me let me let meeeeeeee let meee get what i waaaaant this tiiiime#muffin mumbles#splatoon
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i hate people
(rant abt shipping in the tags. dont like dont interact.)
#i think itâs so stupid how ppl get so riled up abt shipping esp in animated shows#like we all have our silly little headcanons abt the silly little people#and if someone disagrees with u then u get all grossed out??#like actually wtf#(context)#i was at school right and i was sitting w some classmates#and somehow we got to the topic of hazbin hotel#which btw none of us should technically be watching? but anyway#it spirals into radioapple of all things#and they get all mad bcz ig all of them hc alastor as aroace?? i think??#anyway so theyre all mad abt it#and then they start getting mad at a whole bunch of other ships#and itâs like itâs getting heated#theyre fuckin gesturing and being loud abt it#and im over here like girl cmon theyâre literally animated characters#i dont see why yall care what other ppl think abt them?? like ship and let ship#anyway i walked away and kinda like wanted to throw up for a bit#no hate to them but srsly calm tf down#theyre characters in a fictional setting#theyre literal fictional characters u dont needa get so mad abt them#anyway now i feel like shit#but my mom made chocolate chip banana oat muffins#and they were delicious#so yeag#bye ig ??!!
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what I gotta do: study for latin, bake muffins, work out my oc, do my English homework
Me: I'M DONE WITH PLASTIC PROMISES!! Aggressive dancing on bed w Plastic Promises - Set It Off playing
#:3#procrastination#executive dysfunction#adhd#set it off#Plastic promises#HELP ME I HAVE A LATIN TEST TMRW AND I HAVE TO ACHIEVE AT LEAST A 4 TO GET MYSELF ONTO A 5#WHICH BARELY MEANS PASSING#AND I GOTTA DO ENGLISH#AND I PROMISED MY THEATER GROUP MUFFINS#AND I GOTTA THINK OF TRAUMA TO PUT MY NEWEST OC FOR MY FRIEND THROUGH#AHSMDMEKXMEODMM#THIS IS SENDING ME INTO EXECUTIVE DYSFUNKTION#I'm suffering here :'(#Fuckin adhd doesn't let me conquer my mountain of work.#I hate it.#I'm jus gon drown a monster and work while I'm high on caffeine
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almost at 3k for the day <3 how silly of me <3
#JUST HIT 4K IN THE DRAFT THO LOL#THIS BOOK DID NOT EXIST YESTERDAY HAHAHHAHA#I love genre fiction sm holyyyy#like is this opening kinda slow and boring?? YEAHHH#DO I CARE??? NOOOOO#it's 8pm so like 10k is def not gonna be achieved but I still feel quite motivated!!#alsooo i love reeve so much but she's getting a little self deprecating like sis we get u are upset that ur not with ur bestie#but like it's not ur fault!!! and ur kinda taking it out on darren!!!! who made muffins!!! with cardamom!!!!#the scenario is they are kind of getting sick and tired of each other cuz they've been living isolated in a cabin for 8 months <3#dw i'm gonna soft âkill offâ darren & THENNNN the next plot point is between EITHER reeve and lonan running into each other ORRRR#darren running into lonan (because darren doesn't die LOLLL but REEVE DOESN'T KNOW THAT)#the darren/lonan thing makes the most sense for Reasons but like SIBLINGSSSS#the Reasons being that I THINKKKK darren when he âdiesâ is gonna use his time to see if he can find humilitas again#cuz his ~~~Magic lets him do that BUT I THINK he'll run into Lonan instead LOOOL#because Lonan IS humilitas like JUMPSCAREEE
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a card for my dentist that says "sorry for the tooth decay"
#I'm having a wisdom tooth removed brb#you know what. i don't think dentists get enough thanks. thank you for not letting my mouth bones rot#look a talking muffin
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*leaves a comment on every single chapter of a fic as I read it* *author replies to every single comment with increasing giddiness and excitement*
This is good. Iâm getting a good grade in fic reader. This is both something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.
#ra speaks#personal#fanfiction#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#Iâm not going to lie: then replying incentivizes me to keep commenting#and like I get it Big Fics make it unrealistic for an author to reply to every comment#but boy that email gives me the same dopamine rush as the emails abt ppl leaving comments on MY fics#who gives a shit of âoh but I donât want to inflate my comment count - â shut up and let me kiss you. with tongue.#or bake you your favorite kind of muffin if itâs best we keep this professional/platonic#in other news: o7 survived my first day as a TA. I have class in a few hours for my data science course and it probably wonât kill me.#probably.
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I think TMM is becoming my go to baking music
#legit every time I go to make something itâs the first music I play#this time I made it practically the entire album before actually putting the muffins in the oven#which is surprising#I usually get around halfway through#I made chocolate chip muffins today btw#letâs hope theyâre good
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looking at the bag of apples we brought home last weekend with my hands on my hips like. I am going to have to make apples my whole personality
#the PROBLEMMM with apple orchard is you pay for a bag and they give you a reusable grocery bag sized bag and let you loose#AND THAT IS SO MANY APPLES. IT'S SO MANY BUT PICKING APPLES IS SO FUN AND SO VERY EASY TO JUST KEEP DOING...#we did NOT fill the bag but it's probably pretty close to half full and that is still just. it's so many#there will of course be the traditional and obligatory 'we picked apples' apple pie#but I need to get on that apple bread apple fritters apple waffles apple dumplings apple muffins grind#the good news I made hand pies for breakfast with mini pie crusts I've had frozen for Spontaneous Pie Reasons since like april#and they WHIPPED ASS and I wanna do more forever#the bad news is that the three I made used up one(1) apple lmao#I cored and peeled two and then after chopping up the first one was like '... oh no. there's no way' lmao#so breakfast was three hand pies and one fresh apple#about me
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[unedited. In this, I gave Danny a walking cane to help with mobility issues caused by his nerve damage. Feel free to continue where I left off!]
Everyone knew about the coffee shop. They couldnât remember the name. Itâs been there forever, on the corner of Gotham Proper and the East End. Northwest of the opera house. A few blocks away from the high school. You know, that coffee shop.
Some of the seniors at the high school insisted it really did have a name. It was one of many in some corporate chain. They couldnât tell you what it was no matter how hard they tried, and none of the freshman believed them. Why would the coffee shop need a name? Everyone knew where it was. It was a popular spot. There were only a few employees at a time, but they always knew what everyone wanted and the line was always super short from how fast they worked.
There were a few odd things that always stood out, however. The coffee shop was always ahead in food trends and popular drinks, so they never ran out of supplies. The kitchen had been expanding to fit more equipment than what a coffee shop needed. (The construction crew didnât make a peep, even in the middle of the work day.) Those few employees that could cook prided themselves on being able to make anything you wanted, even if they shouldnât logically have the ingredients on hand. They always charged you what you could afford and not a cent over, which seemed weird considering it was part of a chain. Shouldnât they be focusing on profits? But no one had ever met the local owner, and no one had any complaints about it, so the issue was left alone.
All of these points were easy to look over. Most people were just glad to have a warm drink and a filling meal at the end of the day.
There wasâŚone more thing, however. Something that caused the hairs on peopleâs necks to rise as soon as they crossed the threshold, right before the warmth of the shop hit them, brushing the feeling away. Something that called for them to come back, to relax, to be kind and quiet. Something that was a waiting danger in a cursed city.
That something was a boy.
He was by far the youngest employee there, and always worked the register, sitting on a little stool with a cane by his side. Probably wasnât even of legal working age. But this was Gotham; who the hell cared?
No, what made him strange was his piercing eyes that seemed to look straight into your soul. He was the best at telling you what you needed, no matter if you knew it yourself or not. His cold hands made people shiver as he exchanged money with them, and his voice was smooth when he asked for their name.
People gave it to him without hesitation. He would smile gently, say thank you, and write the name in horrible cursive on a cup or kitchen ticket, never misspelling it, and sending it back to be made before beckoning the next customer forward. The first time someone experienced this, they usually experienced some sort of foggy overstimulation as they wandered to the pick up counter, thanking the kind baristas. Everything felt bright and strange and loud, like they were just plopped into another world.
The second time was easier, and they often felt light as a feather. The third time made people sneeze. The fourth made them cry, and the fifth made them happy. This tended to go on up until a personâs twelfth visit. As soon as they gave their name for the twelfth time, a few things clicked into place, and a few slipped away. It was always a special visit, whether they knew it or not, and they never walked out of there the same.
Today was Timâs twelfth visit.
The commute to the coffee shop was the same. Heâd memorized it months ago, even though he hadnât had the chance to go as often as heâd liked. The shop was always neat and tidy on the outside, and he took a strange comfort in the split second feeling of fear that shot through his system as he opened the door.
Something felt wrong, why was he happy to be afraid?
âHello! Nice to see you, Tim!â The boy was at the counter again, smiling widely and waving to Tim.
Tim smiled back and approached the register. âHey, uh, how are you today?â
Why donât I know his name? Heâs wearing a name tag.
âDoing okay so far. My cane was being an ass, but I made it to work safely.â The boy tapped away at the menu, apparently ringing up Timâs order.
I havenât even told him what I want.
âDonât worry about what you want, this is what you need, Tim.â
âOh, okay.â Tim felt a little floaty. Of course the boy knew what he needed, it was obvious. Man, how tired was he? Tim rubbed his eyes and turned away for a second.
Blinking, he scanned the shop with fresh eyes, noticing things he never did before. The boyâs cane was made of wood, with an ugly face carved into it. Wasnât it a black metal cane earlier? Some of the windows were casting rainbows despite the lack of sun. It smelled of ash despite no fireplace existing. A jackhammer was going off in the unfinished kitchen literally thirty feet away, but no noise was being made and no dust was in the air.
Something isnât right.
The boy poked his arm, a cheeky grin on his face and a blue marker in hand. âCan I have your name?â
âTim.â
A violent shiver ran up his spine as his name rolled off his tongue. It felt like he just got shoved to the side by a gust of cold wind. The boy-Danny-didnât notice as he stuck his tongue out and drew little shaky stars around his name on a cup.
His name is Danny. Thatâs what the name tag says.
He blinked, moving to the side in a daze so the next customer could come forward. Were the lights in the shop always so bright? No, it wasnât the lights. It was Danny. He practically glowed under the cheap fluorescent. His ears were pointed, and his teeth were sharp as he bared silly grins at everyone. His eyes were green now, too. Or were they always green?
They werenât.
A barista behind Danny turned to grab a lid and he spied sparkling dragonfly wings cascading down her back, right out in the open. Another had longer ears than Danny did, and a third had actual metal disks braided into their hair. Almost everyone behind the counter was very much not human.
Why didnât I notice this before?
The shop changed, too. Artistic scribbles on the walls became lines of swirling script-the same kind Danny had written on his name tag. He would need a notebook and a few days to properly read it all. More and more customers seemed to warp behind his very eyes. Every time Danny greeted them by name, they both glowed a little brighter. One little girl had scales on her face. An old man was sporting a pair of rat ears that twitched as he enjoyed a grilled cheese.
His skin suddenly felt itchy. He scratched absentmindedly at his hand, a little unsure of what was going on. He had the sudden urge to go stargazing.
âHot chocolate for [ ]!â
His feet were moving before he realized. The barista smiled as she handed him a to-go cup of hot chocolate and a bag with a blueberry muffin.
I donât want a hot chocolate. I need coffee. I have a meeting later.
As if hearing that tiny thought, Danny smiled mischievously to him and waved as he took his food and left. âItâs not about what you want; itâs about what you need! Youâre gonna crush that meeting either way. See you next time, Tim!â
The itching got worse.
He felt his neck hairs raise again as the bell chimed, announcing his departure. Stepping back into the hustle and bustle of Gotham shocked him, and he had to wander over to a bench to sit for a moment.
He stared at the cup in his hands. T I M was written, with shitty little stars drawn all around. This drink was special, he somehow knew. If he drank from this, something in him would change forever. It already had, but this drink was important. He considered, briefly, about not drinking it. About tossing the cocoa and muffin away. Something wiggled at him to go through with it.
But Danny said he needed this.
Danny was always right.
He sipped the cocoa, letting the hot liquid settle into his body and soul. It eased aches and pains he didnât remember getting, and he sighed, closing his eyes. He lost himself to the moment of peace the drink gave him.
If this wasnât his twelfth visit, or if heâd waited a day to visit the coffee shop and come with the Laughing Magician instead, the boy on the bench would still know what his own name looked like. He would know what it sounded like. He wouldnât be glowing and growing feathers, turning into something other than human.
But now the deed was done, and the heir to the Drake family belonged to Danny Phantom, the newest Lord to join Gothamâs magical courts.
Danny is a Fae at Starbucks
So! Danny works by Fae Rules, Names and all, but he has no idea about that because he was forced to run away from Home (and the Ghost portal) before his Ghostly Education could be completed.
He runs to Gotham and eventually gets a job at Starbucks, or some other Cafe.
He has to ask the question "Could I get your name please?" A LOT while working there. And unintentionally steals hundreds of Names by the end of his first day, much less a week or a month into his job.
One day, Constantine visits Gotham for a Meeting with Batman, but by the time he gets to the Meeting Point he has bigger issues to discuss.
"Why the hell does half of your City belong to a Fae Lord?!"
#DPxDC#pondhead writes#I donât plan on continuing this so feel free to pick it up#I just got super inspired#the idea is that Danny got a job working the register at Starbucks like the prompt says#and every time he takes someoneâs name he gains more power over them until their 12th visit#when they become his completely#he is not aware of this#and is just pleased to find out he settled in a neighborhood full of ghosts and magical beings#he doesnât know that heâs causing the transformation of half the city#or that due to his subconscious demands of âignore me and anything weird you seeâ#everyone forgets the name of the shop he works at and no one mentions anything about the magic#heâs literally just excited to be there#and happy that all these people feel at ease enough around ghost to let go of their disguises while theyâre in his shop#(the closer people are to him the more the inhuman features show up)#people cross the doorway and Know Something Is Wrong but the magic in the shop eases them out of the fear so itâs a weird experience#after his 12th visit Tim goes about his day like normal but literally does not respond to anything with Tim in it#Timmers? nope. Timbo? nada. Timothy? whoâs that?#itâs Mr. Drake or Mr. Drake-Wayne or Red Robin that is it#he legit just does not remember his name#Tim KNOWS about the name Timothy and has no issue saying it when addressing others#But He Is Not Timothy What The Fuck Are You On Bruce#Constantine basically screams as soon as he sees Tim and tries to figure out what he did.#Tim while eating the muffin: youâve gone senile in your old age my dude#Constantine: youâre literally eating fae food TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT IT PLEASE THIS IS BAD FOR YOU#Tim washing it down with his cocoa: eat shit and die. if Danny wanted you to have some youâd get some#Constantine: WHO THE FUCK IS DANNY??#if you noticed I stopped using Timâs name halfway through you get a cookie
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