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#lets be friends and chat more maybe?
bp-zb1fics · 1 year
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nooo dont be discouraged :(
idk if someone already asked u this but what groups do u stan other than zb1 ? (if u stan anyone else lol)
omg hi!!!! no one has asked me this so tysm for asking and i feel like its going to be a long answer so brace yourself!! so to me stanning means like seriously investing urself in the group like u know all their songs, watch their content, buy their merch, write fics abt them etc.
I kinda have this thing where I stan one or two groups for like 2 ish yrs and then kinda chill out abt them. And I've been a kpop fan for abt 6-7 years so it was seventeen first, then nct and stray kids, then bts and now zb1! (yes we are a boy group stan)
im also a fan of ateez, day6 (rip), txt and a bunch of survival show groups like enhypen, wanna one (rip again), treasure
i do listen to a lot of both boy and girl groups and soloists and I do make it a point to at least know all the members of most groups i listen to but I'm v much a 3rd gen/ early 4th gen kpop fan in general so i'm not familiar w some of the newer groups even if i like their music~
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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seilon · 1 month
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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orcelito · 2 months
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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Wanna put your friend in a lil terrarium just to see what wacky things she does stg 😂
i actually Cannot Stress the migraine she gives me every time we hang out. like without fail she'll always say or do something that ranges from mildly questionable or irritating but relatively Whatever to How Have You Survived This Long Without Burning Your House Down Boiling An Egg
#snap chats#and then there's her just forgetting things or being late despite the amount of times ill remind her#and i keep stressing to her i cannot stand it when people are late. and then she shows up to things an hour late anyway#or 'when shes late' by fifteen minutes because she didnt think to text me she's there. and im already stressed and annoyed I. UGH i swear.#LIKE. i have only really had two irl friends and both of them i lowkey had to parent in some way#at least my childhood bestie she's like. she's grown a lot and even if i havent spoken to her in a while im real proud of her right#THIS MOTHERFUCKER THO. OUUUUUGGGH.... youre not supposed to say anythin if you dont got nothin nice to say#which is contradictory to the main body text but point is let me Not be any more mean than how ive been already LMAO#even funnier about her looking at that comic is that LITERALLY masumi says he's talking to jo ☠️☠️☠️☠️#did i already say i have to remind her who jo is every three seconds#like the entirety of chap 2 when ichi's out of jail she was all 'why doesnt he just say who ACTUALLY killed the guy'#and then when we finally run into the fuckass who 'actually killed the guy' she's just 'wait who's that'#then i tell her and shes like 'oh my god he's so old now' IT'S BEEN 18 YEARS DUMBASS#ngl did wanna make a comic based off that LMAO BUT POINT IS she tests my patience every day and i think its good practice#if im going to work with people in the future like ohh.. my god....#she told me once she's never been on a date and its like. yeah i wonder why you can't even be assed to show up on time to hangouts ☠️#like ive never had friends so maybe im just insane.. im not insane for wanting people to be on time tho....#OK IM BEING TOO MEAN LET ME CAP IT THERE
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bees-with-swords · 2 years
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Joining a Discord server with too many channels is like walking into a mcmansion, I swear. Half the rooms are full of dust sheets and the family has just been shouting at each other from across the house for the past year.
#I see multiple channels that haven't been touched in months and I'm like. you live here?#you need this much space??#genuinely the servers with like 200 people and 70 channels are! scary!!#downgrade to a cottage! make it cozy!#if your members can't coexist with each other and can only stand to parallel play in different channels#maybe you need to ask some questions about the nature of the community you're fostering.#nothing against parallel play!#but when it's the only thing left#and your community has died down a bit#why do you still have different channels for every topic under the sun#downsize!#it's always better to feel a bit too cramped in a little cottage than feel like you're exploring an abandoned mall#'second general chat' has killed more servers than I can count#theres a reason you only have one living room if your family is small!#the internet 'discomfort with being unable to talk about exactly what you want whenever you want' is such a problem#you literally can't socialise or make friends unless you join in on conversations you aren't super interested in#please stop sitting next to each other and shouting into the void#the point is talking... to EACH OTHER#walking into the living room and being an active listener. laughing at someones jokes#lying around sleepover style and letting the conversation take you places#like I struggle with not changing the conversation completely to something else#but you gotta FIGHT that#it's the gremlin in your brain that doesn't like being bad at things#it doesn't want to have a conversation it isn't in control of. because of social anxiety#but you CAN'T be in control#conversations are COOPERATIVE. they're RECIPROCAL#and it SUCKS but it's life
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shroomierambles · 1 year
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why’s it so embarrassing when u start catching feelings for someone aaaaaahhhhhh
#he’s simply a Silly Goofy Guy#not beating the Goofy Bi Guy stereotype lol#I do feel quite silly waitin for his ig notifs since he started dming me tho#unfortunately I do be Experiencing Feelings 😔#but also fun vibes cause it’s been awhile since I Started Talking To someone irl (like not including dating app chats)#not that we’re Talking™. idk if we are. idk. social interactions are confusing lol#maybe we are maybe not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#we messaged a bit yesterday when he messaged first#then today I sent him a meme & we’ve been messaging for awhile#he’s working on a play & we we’re chatting before the show started & I thought that might’ve been it#but he messaged again after it finished & we’ve been talking a lil while now too :)#he’s rly friendly tho & we were kinda just becoming friends so it could well be just Next Stage Of Friendship#cause it’s not like either of us have said anything flirty or anything. just talkin & joking#plus he’s a few years younger than me- not in a creepy way. both legal adults in college-#I just usually have a weird thing with age gaps over like 2 years because of a personal negative experience#so it would just make me feel better if I don’t initiate anything first#I’ll let him do that if he wants to & then ask if he had any thoughts about the bit of age difference#if anything were to get that far. who’s to say. he’s a v chill platonic friend too if that’s where things go :)#need more funny goofy friends in my life :)#ok I’m done lmao#shroomie rambles#shroomie long tags
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davlucies · 2 years
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remember when imbalance came out and people managed to be upset griffin handled dav's perspective about cycle 92 & his relationship with lucretia with sensitivity, nuance, and realism
#imbalance#discourse wank#i'm still upset about this... people don't ever explore/care about how dav thinks/feels... all they care about is hating on lucretia#this was such a moving thing to hear articulated too... imagine saying you like dav but not caring what griffin says about/as him??#bc you'd rather see the sole canon woc vilified and insulted.. and all the complex moral and interpersonal issues in canon glossed over#i mean if my headcanons had been jossed more aggressively in imbalance maybe i'd be upset but idk. it's just more angst/meat to write abt!!#think of it as a good fun creativity-inducing thing!!! come write emotionally complex dav fics that engage w canon!!! please..anyone.... 🥺#there is so much interesting there & it's the worst feeling being alone in thinking that... and having no one to write for & talk to....#i miss when fandoms were fun & creative and like a positive thing. just liking the characters/story and chatting & making stuff about them#i still remember when imbalance happened and someone got mad at me for being happy about it bc of course... of course. it's a taz fan!#i couldn't even be happy about imbalance with anyone because my harmless ship is so bad and weird to every single taz fan! cool!!#they're fucking friends! he regrets not supporting her and letting her voice be heard! he thinks he shares some of the blame for it all!!#sorry but you can personally dislike a ship without collectively & baselessly gaslighting me that it's abusive bc of what you're projecting#i'd daresay after 100+ years of friendship davenport nd lucretia love each other deeply despite everything..imbalance propped that up a lot#but you don't even wanna write or read about that do you...#dav having emotionally grounded and complex thoughts and feelings? not in this fandom. lucy being treated kindly? banish the thought...#also davlucy is CUTE. they're nerds. they're hardworking and devoted to saving lives and to their friends. they care for each other !!
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nexus-nebulae · 2 years
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yearning has gotta be the worst emotion ever invented why do i gotta want things that are physically impossible for me to achieve
#this isn't even about things like species dysphoria or missing source even#this is about me having too much anxiety to Participate In Literally Anything#like i can't even send messages in a twitch stream chat it's that bad#like... i'm realizing more and more recently how severe and disabling my anxiety is#i knew it was bad before but it just suddenly decided to fuck me over forever i guess#but like- if i were to sum up every social interaction i have in the span of. let's say a week#even counting interactions that most people would overlook like with cashiers and stuff#i talk to Exactly Two People regularly#and post on here which is literally The Only Social Media I've Ever Used#and i see maybe three or four cashiers or other forms of Employee for short public interactions#and that's IT. absolutely and totally it#i don't work so i don't have coworkers to see. i never even FINISHED school so i don't have classmates either#i literally only speak to my mother and one irl friend#and i'm even anxious around them a decent amount of the time like nobody is spared from my chronic unending Fear Of People#it's just they're the few people i can manage to stamp down my anxiety just enough that i'm not completely frozen and mute#and i can actually manage to take down Some masks around them#i only talk so much on tumblr because it feels less like Talking To People or specifically being social#it's just writing down random thoughts and if someone else stumbles across them that's their problem#i mean. fuck a lot of the time i refuse to leave the house because i'm too anxious to talk to *walmart employees*#aka the people least likely to judge me in any situation. nobody judges anyone at walmart anything goes there#i mean. people sure probably Judge but. still walmart is not a place of honour and dignity
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nymfaia-archive · 1 year
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If I send you unprompted asks that make you feel something please know that 1, the sword is double ended and I hurt myself writing it first, and 2, it means I'm getting attached and I'm sorry
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buttercuparry · 13 days
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I am trying to write a post and yet nothing is coming  to me. I don't think there is anything left to be said. Massacres-food shortages-polio epidemic of Gaza, I have talked about it all in an effort to fundraise for my friend Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 ). Mostly because this is what his life has come to, despite not having any say in it at all. A settler colony willed to destroy Gaza and because of that for almost a year, Siraj and his family are: 
having to live in a tent, where there is no relief from either heat, cold or rain
where sand mites and insects keep pestering  the family all day long
causing a breakout of infections amongst Siraj’s sons, and putting the rest of their cousins at risk 
since right now all of Siraj’s extended relatives ( 23 family members)  are currently living with him after being displaced in an IOF attack
I have talked about this and more. I have talked about how every day Siraj has to take risks and go to Deir al-Balah just to get a steady hotspot connection so that he may campaign for his fundraiser and how after all this he gets harassed online because he is a journalist who gives us his daily updates. Beyond this I do not know what else to say to you so that you may donate to Siraj and help him cross this last lap of his fundraiser.
Recently Siraj posted an update about the  massacre at al-Mawasi camp and it hits you hard when you realize that this camp is just 2 km away from Siraj’s own. Everyday when he sends me a message, I breathe a sigh of relief because after all these months- from our first tentative hellos to now when we crack jokes after a machine translated chat goes wrong, there is always a fear that maybe this might just be our last interaction. I know these thoughts have nothing to do with the fundraiser in itself, but my point is, as a  friend, Siraj has requested that I help him reach 82k and right now this is all I can do. So please donate even if it is $3 USD ( $5 CAD). The fundraiser has trickled to almost a crawl and this makes Siraj worry. At least the gfm reaching its goal would be one less burden on him. He has fought so hard for this, please do not let him down now. 
Currently at $78,248 / $82,000 CAD. Only $3752 CAD left to reach his goal. That is approximately 2.7k USD.
Please donate and get Siraj to his goal by this Monday. You got him this far, do not abandon him now.
Vetting 219
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heavenbarnes · 4 months
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in an alternate universe, you meet older bf!simon through a friend- well, a friend’s brother.
your friend’s brother, johnny. he overhears you whinging to his sister about how fucking hard it is to find a place to live. so he tells you about this guy he serves with.
‘L.t’ he calls him.
since he and L.t are on deployment so often, there’s a tidy re-purposed council flat that’s often empty. johnny says he’ll chat L.t about your predicament and see what he thinks.
L.t allows you to live in his home- problem is he’s leaving on deployment literally tomorrow so you have to exchange agreements by text.
you’ve got money going into his account, some basic agreements about no parties, no partners, no smoking, and no mucking about.
L.t gives the key to johnny, who gives it to his sister, who gives it to you- opening the door to an almost pristine little home. not a thing out of place.
military precision.
so you move in and you’re shocked to find more than a flat pillow and plaid duvet cover. there’s 3-in-1 in the shower but easily replaced with your own products.
the pantry and fridge are bare but soon filled with your favourites. your undies are drying over the dining chairs and your blanket is draped across the couch.
you’ve got your own profile on the netflix and your toothbrush is in the holder. you’ve done what you were told.
“make yourself at home”
so much so that you almost forget deployment will end at some point, hard to remember when you don’t even have the faintest idea when that’ll be.
johnny said it could be weeks, maybe months. he didn’t tell you that it could be at any moment.
you think you hear the door in the deep of your sleep but your brain reassures you it’s in the back of your dream- you don’t even wake.
it’s actually the weight dropping beside you on the mattress and shuffling up to your back that gets you. it’s a miracle you don’t scream.
L.t lands a rough hand on your back, something about “calm down, s’only me”
only him? he who’s name you don’t even know?
as if he can read your mind, he’s following up with a grumbled “simon”
simon ‘sans-last name.’
before his breathing begins to even out.
your heart is beating out your chest- perfect stranger climbing into bed with you?
the voice in your head that always wants you to be polite reminds you that this is actually his house, after all.
he was also kind enough to let you stay, charging a rent way below going rate.
he had just been away serving this country, duty to protect and all.
and johnny knows him, vouched for him- sure johnny can be a bit of a perv but he’s harmless.
simon must be too, right?
you decide to settle back under the duvet, telling yourself it’s you that’s being weird. you need to be more grateful!
mans tired, if he wasn’t absolutely shattered he would’ve taken the couch.
right?
you’re almost entirely convinced until you feel a strong arm loop around your waist, pulling you back into something unbelievably hard.
harmless.
right.
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celestemona · 19 days
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⋆˙⟡ — FOUR TIMES MUALANI SUSPECTED SOMETHING WAS GOING ON (AND ONE TIME SHE WAS RIGHT)
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pairing: kinich x reader
cw: no pronouns mentioned. ajaw is in a vacation. slight but not slight pda. mualani overreacting but she is a sweet. best friends trio. pyro vision reader mentioned. not beta-read.
reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡
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Mualani knew Kinich and you were friends—close best friends, just like you two were with her—but lately, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. 
It started with little things, almost too subtle to be noticeable but somehow it didn’t escape from her perception. Things like how Kinich, ever the quiet guy, had begun lingering a little too long when he talked to you, or how you’d run all your way to the Scions of the Canopy's village just to welcome him back after a mission. 
At first, she didn’t pay too much attention thinking you guys were just being more affectionative and caring to each other. However, as time passed by, it has been shown to be more than a mutual friendly appreciation and certainly beyond a mere coincidence. 
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I.
The first time Mualani noticed something different was in an early morning by the coast, watching the waves curl and crash. She often started her day stretching at the shore and riding the first waves of dawn. But this time, as she rounded a cliff, she spotted Kinich and you sitting on a rock overlooking the sea. The two of you were close enough that your arms brushed every time the wind picked up.
Kinich’s usual stern expression was softer than usual. Mualani squinted at you suspiciously. Were you... holding hands?
She jogged closer, but just as she got near enough to say something, Kinich quickly stood up, putting a considerable distance between you and himself. “You're up early,” he said, his voice in its usual calm.
You smiled warmly. “Hey girl! How are the waves? We were just discussing about it.”
Mualani tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. “You were? Really?”
You let out a light and confusing laugh, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Of course.”
She didn’t quite buy it, but you didn’t give her any reason to push further. “Well, the waves are good today! You guys joining?”
Kinich only gave her a polite headshaking, while you nodded smiling. Maybe she was imagining things.
II.
Except she wasn’t. 
A few days later, you were hanging out by Tequemecan Valley' canyons with Kinich standing quietly while you and Mualani chatted. However, every time she glanced toward him, Kinich seemed to be watching you a little too intently. It wasn’t the usual hunter’s focus; it was softer, caring, almost like... adoring.
The girl squinted, pretending to be interested in some flowers nearby while keeping an eye on you two. You didn’t seem to notice anything, or if did, you didn’t mind. You just kept talking, your laughter filling the air.
When Mualani caught Kinich staring again, she couldn’t help but ask, “Kinich, you okay? You’ve been zoning out all day.”
He blinked, his neutral mask slipping back into place. “I’m fine.”
“He’s just tired from all the training,” you teased, winking at him.
Mualani raised an eyebrow, astonished by the scene before her eyes. Something was definitely going on.
III.
The third time came on a day when Mualani was guiding a group of Sumeru’s travelers near the springs when she spotted you and Kinich again, standing by the water. As she approached, she saw Kinich leaning down to whisper something to you, his lips close to your ear. You giggled softly in response.
Wait a minute... Kinich never whispers to anyone. Much less in such an intimate way and even less to make someone laugh. Mualani's instincts flared up immediately. What was he saying? And why did you look so happy about it?
She cleared her throat loudly as she walked up. “Hey. What are you two whispering about?”
Kinich straightened up quickly, crossing his arms. “Nothing important.”
You smiled at her, but there was a glimmer in your eyes that made the girl even more suspicious. “Just a silly joke,” you said lightly.
A joke, huh? Mualani filed it away in her mind. This time she was very determined to figure out what was going on between you two.
IV.
It was late afternoon, and Mualani had just finished surfing when she saw you two by the waterside. Kinich and you stood close, so close as it has strangely been, and for a brief moment, she could have sworn Kinich was about to lean in and kiss you.
She froze, watching from a distance as you smiled up at him, your palm softly pushing his chest away. Were you two really about to kiss? It couldn’t be just her angle view. Could it be?
But just as quickly as it happened, Kinich stepped back, his usual stoic demeanor falling back into place. You turned and waved at her, your smile as bright as ever.
“Lani. Hey! How was the surf?” you called out.
Mualani, still in shock, shook her head. “Uh... good. Really good.”
She stared at you both for a moment longer, convinced she’d almost witnessed something, but there was no proof. Again.
V.
In the several days that followed, Mualani continued to witness that strangeness that kept repeating itself every time you thought she wasn’t around, creating a certain tension between her and you and Kinich—although she doubted that you had noticed any difference, treating her as you always did from the beginning.
Even if it relieved her to know that nothing had changed in your friendship, the surfer couldn't help but feel upset too. Was it that bad if she found out? Didn't you trust her the same way she trusted you? She wanted to be able to release all of her thoughts and ask you if maybe there was something in your bond that was bothering you. But she didn't. And so, things remained the same.
That was a quiet evening, and the moon hung low over the mountains. Mualani had been taking a stroll, enjoying the peaceful night, when she stumbled upon you.
This time, though, there was no mistaking it—Kinich and you stood together under some trees, locked in a slow, deep kiss.
The girl’s cheeks burned as red as the pyro vision you hold so dear closely, eyes widely opening and heart skipping a beat. She gasped, louder than she intended, and both of you quickly turned toward her. You blinked twice before smiling stiffly, even daring to look a bit embarrassed, while Kinich gave her a calm look, his hands still resting on your waist.
“You two!” She exclaimed shaking her head, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me earlier! I mean, I knew something was up, but really?”
You bit your lip while Kinich just blinked at her, slightly starting to look more guilty as well.
“We didn’t mean to keep it from you for long,” you said as you stepped out of Kinich’s arms and reached for her hand. “We were just... taking our time.”
Mualani arched an eyebrow. “Taking your time? You two were being so weird and annoying with all those suspicious interactions for weeks now! I’m supposed to be your best friend!”
Kinich rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. “We wanted to keep it quiet,” he said, his voice low. “At first, anyway.”
Mualani softened, her fake scold melting away into genuine affection. “Still, I would’ve loved to know sooner,” she said, her tone gentler now. “You know me better than anyone else. You know I would never judge you,” she sighed as she watches the sorrow on your face. “Nevertheless, I’m really happy for you both. Really am.”
You beamed and even Kinich’s usual stoic expression seemed to relax slightly.
Mualani continued, her voice full of warmth. “I’ve always known you two had something special. And now that I know for sure, you better believe I’m fully on board with this!” She shot Kinich a playful look. “Just make sure you treat (Y/N) right, okay?”
Kinich nodded, his eyes softening as he glanced at you. “I will.”
You squeezed Mualani’s hand, your eyes sparkling with gratitude and pure happiness. “Thank you, Lani. Your support means a lot to us.”
Mualani grinned, pulling you both into a tight hug. “Just don’t keep secrets from me again, alright? I’m always here for you two.”
You all laughed but shared a quick but sweet bond moment, the atmosphere light and easy. And somehow, Mualani couldn’t help but feel like everything had fallen into place just the way it was meant to.
“But just for your information. If the day comes of you get engaged and don’t tell me immediately, I’ll crash the proposal myself, make a huge scene, and tell everyone how long I’ve had to put up with your not so secret glances and not so subtle hand-holding. Trust me, it won’t be pretty!”
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eupheme · 1 month
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— trouble will find me
[part ii | masterlist]
bodyguard!logan x mobster’s daughter!reader
rated e - 3k
tags: 70s era, dofp/bonedaddy!logan, bodyguard!logan, reader is the daughter of a mobster, reader is shorter than Logan, club setting, use of alcohol, cigar smoking, mutual pining, flirting, light brat taming!logan, references to violence, competence kink, semi-public vaginal fingering, kissing, forbidden relationship
a/n: I can’t stop thinking about dofp!logan sleeping with the girl he’s guarding, this is inspired by that scene! huge thank you to @pr0ximamidnight who let me chit chat about this little idea. you are amazing! 💖💕
His eyes darken. Fingers pinching against your skin, as he adjusts his grip, “‘s a bad idea, sweetheart. Supposed to keep you out of trouble.”
Your hands skate lower, fingers tracing the edge of his belt buckle. His nostrils flare - a warning, though he does not move.
“Supposed to keep me out of trouble,” You hum, “But what if I want a little in me?”
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You can feel his eyes follow you.
Which shouldn’t really be surprising. It's his job, of course. Keep an eye on you, keep you safe.
But there’s something in the way he watches.
A curl of smoke from a lit cigar. Fingers tracing the rim of a half-downed whisky, a worn leather jacket thrown over a broad shoulder. The tilt of his chin when your eyes meet his - dark and narrowed, missing nothing. Slipping over you like the soft silk of your dress.
Indulging, almost. Unashamed.
You might have a crush.
You're trying not to think about it too much.
Tonight, you're just trying to enjoy the after-party.
It's all bright lights.
The room is bathed in pinks and yellows and flashing red. Disco club music pumped through the speakers, the panels of the floor flickering to the beat. You've been here for two hours already. Nursing tequila sunrises and pink squirrels. Sweat sticking to the nape of your neck, as the minutes tick by, bleeding past midnight.
He's not going to stop you, just yet. You can have your fun tonight - sway to the beat of the music - as long as you play by the rules.
Logan is so different from the ones before him.
Tripping over their feet to check on you. Breathing down your neck, with their padded-shoulder suits smelling like cigarettes and cheap cologne. Too afraid for themselves, of your father, to actually do a good job of protecting you.
Stifling and all too willing to tell you yes to anything.
It was exhausting.
Logan had come recommended - an acquaintance of a friend. He'd 'get the job done' from what you heard. Motivated. Needed the cash and would listen, no questions asked.
Just the type your father thought he could sway - a half-wild guard dog, his salary a leash. Heeling at the click of a tongue, the snap of fingers.
It's not how you saw him, though.
His silence was not obedience. There was nothing bought about this man - watching you from the line of leather booths along the wall.
You've wondered if maybe - you're just desperate to find some form of kindred spirit in someone. Too used to feeling like an accessory instead of a person. Your appearance at your father's events drove home his image. The good, family man who was oh so generous with his time and money.
Articles were written weekly about how philanthropic he was.
You had no idea if anything ever came from the numerous events you hosted - an attempt at doing something with your education. How much was skimmed off your blood, sweat, and tears, funneled back into what he did best.
Maybe you both saw through the bullshit.
He'll last longer than the others, at least.
More than once you've been halfway out the door, headed off to East Village or SoHo, only for him to catch you by the scruff of your sweater - whisking you back inside or into the Lincoln Town Car before you realized what happened.
An angry fist connecting with the nose of a man who had gotten too close at a gala last week. Cornering you in the coat room. Logan, charging in like a snarling beast when you had whimpered his name - red dripping down to stain the pressed white collar as the man was hauled away.
You’ve been thinking about that for days.
There was no sucking up. No flashing of a holster under his arm, some grandiose promise that you don't need to worry. You've never even seen Logan near a weapon but somehow, you feel more safe with him than you ever have with anyone else.
But this bit of internal tenderness that has sprouted, paired with his competency, has been seriously cramping your style.
It’s been enough that he's been hard to get out of your mind. Two weeks of teasing and poking at the limits set. Never giving you much, with that glare - thick arms crossed over his chest. A little thrill rippling up your spine, when his voice goes low and gruff.
The lights go dim, as the music begins to slow.
With the way your eyes wander, you know he sees you when you pick up a partner.
A man that moves with you, peeling off to crowd your space after your hips swivel with the hustle. His hand dipping low from where it rests on the small of your back.
Bold, when he bends to ask you 'if you'd like to get out of there'.
You meet Logan's eyes when you tell him yes.
Telling yourself that it's just to forget him. Definitely not because you're desperate to see the look on his face. To hear that tone he takes when he's pissed off.
A way to ascertain if you've taken root in his mind, even for just a moment.
There's zero chance Logan heard you from across the room. But it doesn't stop him from moving. Pushing to his feet, cutting straight through the crowd to wrap a hand around your bicep the second you start peeling off with the stranger - heading towards the side door.
"No fucking chance." It's gritted out, as he yanks you to him. Your shoulder collides against his chest as he steps between you and the man.
A sloppy hand pushes against his arm. The man's eyes are hazy under the neon lights as he makes a grab for you.
"Come on, man. I saw her first."
Logan pivots you away with a snarl, "She ain't leaving with you, bub."
Another sloppy shove, glancing off the brown leather jacket.
"You're really starting to piss me off." Logan's tone drips with warning, with knowing, "Gonna regret starting something in a room full of people like this."
And it's now that he takes in how big Logan is. The flex of splayed-wide fingers, knuckles curling into a clenched fist. A look in his eye that says that punches won't be pulled - not tonight.
The stranger takes a step back. It's enough.
You're already getting hauled away before they can answer. Guided into one of the many VIP rooms. A snarled "get the fuck out of here" to the attendant, before Logan's crowding you against the bar - hands bracing on his hips.
Fuming, you push yourself up to sit on the top - an attempt to get closer to his height.
"What was that about?" Your chin lifts, as your arms cross.
His eyes flash - a curl of his lip, "Can't you make my job easy, kid?"
Kid. It always makes you bristle. So far from that, and it's the way he says it. That dripping edge, like he knows something you don't.
"Maybe he was a friend." You deadpan.
"Yeah. Real friendly," He scoffs, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose, "You think your daddy is gonna like you going home with a piece of shit like that?"
That makes your teeth clench - a glare sent his way, "I don't think it's any of your business."
"It's literally my business, sweetheart." Logan huffs. His hands curl around the edge of the bar, braced on either side of your knees.
Your breathing hitches, for just a second. The soft name is ground out between his teeth, but it still shoots straight to your pussy.
You haven't been this close to him before. Enough to see the bleed of brown to green in his hazel eyes. The sharp mark between his brows that you want to press your thumb against.
The shorn-down hair at his chin, before it grows thick across his cheeks. Handsome in a way that makes you ache, your fingers curling into fists to keep from touching him.
There's been moments alone - car rides, lounging in the armchair in the corner of your room when he barks at you to hurry up.
But it hasn't been like this.
Maybe it's the opportunity. Maybe it's the amber glitter of tequila in your veins, but you let your palms press against the shining wood. Your knees inch a little further apart, the hem of your dress riding up your thighs.  
"That the only reason you whisked me away?” Your eyebrow lifts, "Kidnapping, if I recall, is one of the things you're supposed to be keeping me safe from."
"You are safe." He deflects, "'s not kidnapping when it's me.”
Those eyes are still on yours. Not dropping to where his hips nearly press against the edge of the bar top.
You break the eye contact first.
“Well, it’s fine.” You sniff - as if his actions had been your idea, “I didn’t want him anyways.”
Logan grunts. There’s the slightest brush - the flex of his thumb at your thigh, where your dress rides up. A long look before he’s pushing back to step away, but your fingers reach out, catching on his white shirt.
“Are you going to ask me what I do want?”
There’s the slightest twitch of his nose. Lips parting to show the peek of a tongue, caught between teeth. The briefest dip of his eyes. Down to the shadow between your breasts, pressed together as you lean forward to catch him.
“I know what you want, sweetheart.” He rasps, “Not gonna happen.”
The rejection stings, and you pout, “What isn’t?”
A sigh, and he’s stepping back into your space. Your hand flattens against his stomach, hard muscles beneath as his head tilts.
“You want a man to take you home. Treat you nice.” Logan’s eyes burn into you. Wide hands curving around your knees, thumbs pressing into flesh, “I’m not that guy.”
You wonder if he can hear your heartbeat. How it thunders to the beat of the music muted outside this room. Dropping down to pulse between your thighs.
Wondering if he’s thought about you, the way you have him. How he could both see and miss so much at once.
“You’re wrong,” Your head shakes, “I don’t want that.”
A breath, before you’re confessing, ”I want you.”
Logan's eyes darken. Fingers pinching against your skin, as he adjusts his grip.
“‘s a bad idea, sweetheart. Supposed to keep you out of trouble.”
Your hands skate lower, fingers tracing the edge of his belt buckle. His nostrils flare - a warning, though he does not move.
“Supposed to keep me out of trouble,” You echo, “But what if I want a little trouble in me?”
The smile you give him is sweet, a tilt of your head as he catches your hand. Thick fingers curl at your wrist, holding your hand in place. A thumb pressed up against your pulse.
“You wouldn’t know what to do with me.” He rasps, voice low.
You’re undeterred.
“Could get on my knees.” You coo, “You could show me. Would you like that?”
Logan’s jaw grits. His grip loosens just long enough to feel your wrist flex - before he guides your hands, pressing your palms flat against the polished wood.
“It’s not going like that,” He husks. The tone is the same as when he’s ordering you around, one that makes your back go straight, “Those are staying right there. Got that, honey?”
All you can do is nod, as his hands skate up your thighs. Fingers massaging into flesh, soft and smooth as he eases them wider apart. Fitting himself closer between them.
The way he looks at you now is the way he did before.
Focused, as your dress inches higher. The fabric pooling at your hips as they tilt toward him, the pretty lace between your thighs now on display.
“Look at you,” His tongue clucks. A finger tracing the elastic edge, as you clench in anticipation, “Need this, don’t you?”
Drifting across, a thumb pressing against the fabric. It sends a jolt through you, your fingers almost reaching for him before you remember.
“Good girl.” He muses, as your hands flatten again.
The slightest pressure as the pad of his thumb slips up. Nudging against your clothed clit, as you inhale a sharp breath.
Pressing, and circling. It’s agonizingly slow, his eyes flicking up to watch the way you bite back a whimper. Your hips flexing into his touch, aching for more.
It lifts, so he can see how the fabric has dampened. Clinging to your skin, his knuckle tracing your seam.
“Making a mess.”
You can only whine in reply. Afraid that he’ll stop if you make too much noise. If you move - he’s made it clear he’s in charge here, and for once you’re willing to follow.
The pad of his thumb pulling back, a faint shine in the neon-bathed room.
“That for me?”
Your head nods, “Logan, please-”
There’s a sharp flash of teeth. Fingers pressing low, fitting against you, “You want me here?”
“Yes.”
You need him. Need anything he’ll give you, the sharp pinch in your palms where your nails bite into flesh.
“Ask me.” He coos.
“Please put use your fingers,” It comes in a rush, “Want you in me-”
Logan smirks, as his fingers slip beneath the waistband. Air sucked through clenched teeth when he meets slick, soaked skin. A teasing swirl against your clit before he’s parting you.
The tip of his middle finger tracing your hole, before it dips inside. His hips flex against the wooden edge, when you clench around him immediately. Trying to draw him deeper, as he works himself further in.
His fingers are much thicker than yours. A second already tracing where he opens you up. Teasing the tip in as his hand flexes, the heel of his palm grinding against your clit.
Your head tips forward. Each breath growing shorter, as you’re stretched around him. That slight ache unfurling into pleasure. Panting, as the pump of his fingers grow louder - the muffled cadence of skin against skin each time his palm collides with your cunt.
The fabric strains against his hand, his knuckles pressed against the soaked fabric.
Something bright burns in your belly, as your knees press into his hips. It makes you break the rules - a hand grasping at his arm. Anchoring yourself with your grip.
“I wanna watch. Let me see you.”
He lets you. A tap against your hip so you can lift. Carefully pulling your underwear down, easing them over the heels of your boots.
The lace disappears into his jacket pocket. His palms against your inner thighs, spreading you open. A throaty groan when he sees you, one that he can't quite manage to bite back - the rough sound shooting straight through you.
You both watch, when his fingers fit inside you this time. Two sinking down to the knuckle, slick and shining.
Unable to bite back the moan this time, though he does not shush you. His eyes fixed on your face instead, watching how your brow pinches when his fingers crook deep inside you. Searching.
The way you go jolt and then go tense when he finds it, a soft cry loosening.
“You been fucked like this before?” Logan growls, his fingers dragging against that soft spot inside you with his emphasis.
Your head shakes, when he does it again. Eyes dropping to watch his how hand looks, how you wrap around his fingers. The slick shine as they pump a little faster.
His other hand taps against your thigh.
“Words, sweetheart.”
“No,” It comes out hushed. Needy. “Never.”
His lips part with his groan, baring his teeth. With the way he touches you - his thumb moving to rub circles against your clit - it’s not long before he has you close.
A swiftly building pressure in your belly. That space between you eases as your knees close around his hips. His head tilting until his nose ghosts against your cheek.
Breath hot against your neck, as he inhales you. The slightest scrape of teeth that makes you bear down on his fingers - so careful not to leave a mark behind.
“Logan,” You pant. “That feels, ah, I think I’m gonna come-”
He groans against your skin, keeping the same pace. Feeling how you forget yourself - grasping at him, arching into his touch. Your muscles going tight as your breath grows short - panting.
“Give it to me,” Logan growls, “Come on my fucking fingers, baby.”
It’s impossible not to listen. You come, with his thumb pressing against your clit. His fingers notched deep inside you, as he feels your pulse racing beneath his lips.
The moan that rips from you pitches up, and then goes silent.
It leaves you breathless. Deep waves throbbing inside you, as you dampen his palm. Washing over and pulling you under, as your vision darkens.
“That’s fucking it. Come on, honey.” He coos, “Just look at you, so fucking pretty.”
The pump of his fingers goes still, the tips still crooking, as the tight pulses wane. The air comes rushing back into your lungs as you come back to yourself, your hands fisted in his jacket.
His chest heaves. Eyes hungry, when he slips from you. Slick clinging to them, webbing between his fingers as he pulls them up to the light.
Before he’s focusing on you again, his other hand thumbing at your lip.
“Open.”
They part automatically. Closing around the fingers he feeds you. The salt of his skin pairing with the sweet tang of your release, too blissed out to do anything but suck them clean.
“Good girl.”
It’s soft, as his fingers press down. Spreading, until you’ve cleaned yourself from them. Only when they slip from you, does his head dip.
A soft sound as his mouth presses against yours. There’s the sweep of his tongue against your lip, needy and insistent. You part for him, swallowing the moan as he tastes you. Teeth and tongue - deepening the kiss as his hands grip at your waist.
Letting your hands grasp at his shoulders. Tug at his hair until you’re pulled flush against him, your tits crushed against his chest.
Hungry, threatening to devour you, until you mumble his name.
Bringing him back to himself. Sharing a breath, Logan’s forehead pressed to yours when he pulls back. Those spit-slick fingers dropping down.
Palming himself roughly, where his cock strains - thick and hard against his jeans. A bitten-back groan, the word “fuck” rumbling deep in his chest as his hips flex into his hand.
“You going to listen now? Get that out of your system?” It comes out ragged, and you’re nodding.
All your sharp edges smoothed down. Blissfully complacent, as his fingers get a better grip on your waist. Bringing you down to the floor with wobbly legs, his hand coming to grasp at your upper arm.
“Good.” He growls, “Come on.”
A sharp tug, and you almost trip over yourself to follow.
“I’m taking you home.”
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ahh I had the idea for this and had to jot it down! and I do know he goes by james/jimmy in the 70s because it’s pre-weapon-x, but I'll be keeping it as logan for this. (And I am thinking this will be a two-shot - give her a chance to get what she wants 😏💖)
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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grabbing rainbow sherbet vodka for the stream because I know it's what ichi would want 🤞
bro grabbing that fucking super mario vodka what the shit 😭
#snap chats#i dont know what im gonna get...... i SHOULD get soju since i can get more for cheaper#and soju's more potent now innit... but i am a sake fan... sake my best friend..#but i like my sake hot. unless its nigori then OF COURSE you have to have it chilled....#gddammit i left my shot glass at my moms. i didnt think id need it </3#maybe sake's the game then.....#just to make sure i dont ACTUALY black out NO DID I TELL THE TIME I BLAKCED OUT FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME#ILL TELL IT AGAIN SINCE ITS TOPICAL IT WAS THE NIGHT OF MY SISTER'S WEDDING#and i went out post-wedding drinking with my dad and my sis and her hubby yeah#and /im/ a master of acting like im fine when im not when i care to and since i never want to look A Fool in front of my father again#i acted fine after i reached the point where I Very Much Was Not Fine#LIKE THERE WERE DRINKS AT THE WEDDING OOFC BUT I ALSO GOT SOME WHISKEY AT A BAR WE WENT TO#AND SO EVENTUALLY MY DAD AND HIS WIFE AND I ALL GO BACK TO THE HOTEL WE'RE ALL STAYING AT#god theyre so embarrassing i was walking (read: wobbling) back to the room i shared with my bro#and theyre just :) 👋 Good Niiiight We're Gonna Watch You Go Until You're Safe :) 👋 <- im literally down the hall from them#and the fucking. SECOND i get into my room im just hhoUUGGHGHHH BROTHER OF MINE. WHAT IS HAPPENING#i dont remember what happened i know i started watching Why Dont You Play In Hell again and then i suddenly woke up in my bed#I WAS ON THE COUCH LIKE I CANNOT STRESS THE ABRUPTNESS OF ME WAKING UP IN BED#I SAT ON THE COUCH TO WATCH THE MOVIE I THINK I GOT 27 MINUTES IN AND I BLINKED AND I INSTATRANSMISSIONED#hilarious. anyway i refuse to let that happen ever again AFLKEFJKAJ#so sake's the call. i think. idk we'll see what my wallet thinks cause the sake is a lil pricier than the soju..#it a special occasion live a little. is what ill tell myself ☠️
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exopelagic · 10 months
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I love my degree I love my department I love my uni
#killing and biting and screaming#if I have to do one more thing ever again I’m gonna lose it I can’t wait for may I can’t wait for may#I had a very nice chat with a phd student today who confirmed everything I’ve been thinking from a different perspective#and let me tell you. vindication is nice.#I’m so close to things being bearable but to get there I have to make it through The Horrors. there are so many horrors#okay the one thing has happened someone’s asking me to read an email that’s it I’m done forever#I will keep going even though I’m gonna have to claw my way through. bc unfortunately I have responsibilities#such as ‘run this dumb club’ and ‘give this dumb presentation’ and ‘email these dumb supervisors’#and my friend is being so fucking annoying abt how we like the same supervisors and is complaining abt me going for similar people#oh people are fucking upstairs that’s fun love to hear it#anyway I’m literally sending her people to talk to and she’s complaining that I like the sound of this person she brings up.#sorry dude im not applying to shit I don’t like to save your ego#anyway I can’t wait to get out of this city maybe I’ll move somewhere else when I graduate and spend the year there#phd student earlier was suggesting places to go to get research assistant jobs#oh my god she was also talking abt how biology is so nepotistic it’s all abt the people you know#and then I go talk to the friend again whose dad has a fancy research job and she’s LITERALLY CITING HIM IN HER PRESENTATION#HE OFFERED TO GET HER A JOB AT DEFRA. HES GIVEN HER THE IDEAS FOR HER LAST TWO PROJECTS.#PEOPLE KEEP THINKING ITS CUTE AND COOL AND SHIT THAT SHES GETTING STUFF FROM HER DAD AND I WANT TO SCREAM#LAST YEAR SOMEONE TOLD HER SHE SHOULD PUBLISH THIS ANALYSIS SHE DID OF DATA SHE GOT FROM HER DAD. BC NOBODY ELSE HAS DONE ANYTHING WITH IT.#I’m gonna have to live with her next year#murder. murder#why did saving as draft give everything double tags will that show up when I post#weird.#I am being soooooo normal abt everything I can function so good sleep deprived#okay it’s fine. I’m gonna. finish eating. wash up. call home. write presentation. read this guy’s thing so I can email him. hockey?#very ambitious but if I get some things done that’s fine#luke.txt
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