#let's just say that with how he has treated them it is certainly debatable. BUT there have been times where-

[mad-hunts]

let me psychoanalyze you, but also be nice.

you're unbelievably lonely.

maybe the teacher always sat next to you on the bus because it was the only open seat on field trips. maybe you were the fourth kid in the group project who was only there because they needed one more person. maybe you spent all of 7th grade lunch in the library. i think it's important to remember that it won't always be like that. it might take longer than expected but nobody is alone forever. sometimes it's hard to remember that just because you've felt unloved before, it doesn't mean you're unloved now.

tagged by: i found this one on tumblr as well LOL

tagging: @oculusxcaro, @divingdownthehole, @veroxins, @killerharvey, @sanguine-salvation, and anyone else who might like to take this quiz!

[lightseoul]

so i finally did it, y'all—i commissioned the wonderful @zestivivi to draw my first-ever °˖✧ self-ship art °˖✧

and i couldn't help it upon seeing the draft; i had to write a drabble to give it a bit of a backstory and to really just treat myself, so here it is!

(the pic is under the cut, if you're not in the mood to read and just wanna take a peek at it!)

CALL ME YOUR FAVORITE, CALL ME THE WORST (k. bakugou x reader)

“—and so i told eijirou he could go to hell if he asked me to cover for him tonight,” bakugou finishes, just as you twist your key one last time, effectively unlocking the door.

you toss him a chastising look as you push it open, trying to ignore the hammering in your chest as you do so. “don’t talk to your best friend like that, katsuki.”

at that, he scoffs, trailing behind you and entering through the doorway. “correction, you’re my best friend. and he’s used to it.”

despite yourself, a smile manages to creep into your face, which bakugou unfortunately catches sight of. the man only smirks to himself before gesturing to his trainers, “where do i put these?”

“beside my birks, please,” you sing-song, although your voice comes out a bit wobbly.

fucking nerves.

dropping your bag on the counter, you quickly shuffle through your kitchen and toward your dining area slash living room slash bedroom, scanning the space for any spot you’ve missed before bakugou could see them.

you’re just about to conclude that this place is as tidy as it can get when you sense the pro-hero walk up beside you, and you look at him to see his eyes darting across the area in inspection, a pensive expression on his face.

“what’re you thinking?” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. you immediately regret it, though, bracing yourself for constructive feedback that you know will sting nonetheless.

it’s not every day you get to show your new place that’s your very own to anybody, let alone to your famously (notoriously) pedantic boyfriend.

“it's really clean,” he starts, pausing to think for a moment. he eventually turns to face you, that smirk from before now back on his face, “it’s very you. i like it.”

you feel a warmth wash over you, and you don’t fight the grin that’s invading your features. “aww, thanks, babe!”

he waves you off with a hand, resuming his thorough survey of your unit. “‘s nice how you displayed your books here, and that your guitar is easy to reach for. and your decorations are just abo—”

you glance back at the man from where you were hurriedly pouring him a cold glass of water, “just about what, kats?”

to that, bakugou doesn’t say anything. he seems frozen, eyes fixed on what you think is your entertainment area.

you pad toward the spot beside him, and you follow his line of vision.

directly right to your dynamight figurines.

almost instantly, your stomach drops as if you just got hit by a metaphorical tsunami of scalding humiliation. your feet move before your brain can catch up, and in a matter of seconds, you find yourself planted right in front of bakugou, obscuring his view of his mini-me’s.

at least, you tried to. the tall man only continues to effortlessly stare at them through the space above your head.

“so what do you want for dinner?” you manage to croak out, desperate to change the subject and bones threatening to give out in embarrassment.

“…is that a funko pop of all might and… me?”

the ground can swallow you up just about now, thanks.

for a beat, you debate as to whether or not to joke or lie your way out of this one, but one look at the inexplicable expression on your boyfriend’s face has you ultimately decided against it.

“…yes?”

now, in the split second of choosing to tell the truth, you came up with the expectations of him snorting in response, or maybe shooting you a confused look that reads ‘what the fuck’ or something similar, but you certainly didn’t predict him to laugh.

as in, drop his head back and howl laugh.

immediately, you feel yourself flame in shame as you watch the pro-hero bend slightly over and clutch his stomach in mirth, what you think are tears now pooling in the corners of his clenched eyes.

you can’t help but frown, “quit laughing at me, you jerk!”

that only makes him bark out another loud one, and just when you think he’s about to finish, he wheezes: “and you’ve got a nendoroid of me, too!”

that’s it.

you spin on your heel, turning your back on your jackass of a boyfriend, and you’re about to scoop the figurines into your arms and throw them into the abyss at the back of your closet when you feel something tug at your wrist, pulling you and your entire body back.

and before you can even comprehend what’s happening, bakugou’s invading your space and leaning toward you, planting his forehead right at the crook of your neck.

“wha—”

you’re cut off by bakugou snuggling into you, and you can feel him shake in laughter before the chuckles finally escape him and you’re both left in comfortable silence.

you hope he’s not hearing the thunderous ruckus your heart is making right now despite yourself.

a few moments pass with neither of you moving or saying anything before you finally decide to speak up.

“if you think this’ll make up for you laughing so blatantly at me, you’ve got another thing coming for you, mister.”

at that, bakugou snorts, retorting without missing a beat. “i wasn’t laughing at you, dumbass.”

you roll your eyes, although you don’t make any move to push him away. “sure, you weren’t.”

“i’m serious. it just caught me off guard.”

“and then you started laughing at me.”

from where he’s slotted right by your neck, bakugou huffs, and you stop yourself from shivering at the feeling of his breath against your skin.

“i was just laughing at how everything’s turned out, alright?”

instinctively, your eyebrows furrow in question, “what do you mean?”

he sighs, the puff of air he lets out tickling your flesh again, “i just think it’s fucking funny how i grew up with a shit ton of all might merch, and now i have my own merch displayed right beside him, in my girlfriend’s new home, no less.”

and, before you can even feign offense at his comment, he beats you to it.

“i’m just fucking happy, okay? just let me have this.”

you don’t know what else to say at his sudden confession, and so you only manage a nod, moving your head just enough for him to feel the gesture. slowly, you allow yourself to relax your shoulders and lean toward bakugou, who snuggles even closer to you in return.

“they’re quite expensive, you know,” you offer after a few seconds of silence. “and yours are especially hard to come by.”

you can practically hear the grin on his face when he quips, “what, am i your favorite hero, or something?”

“no,” you immediately retort, deadpan. “all might is. explains why i only have one figurine of him and a gazillion of you in here.”

at that, bakugou lets out a genuine laugh, and you don’t have to look at him to know he’s sporting that boyish grin and disarming eye smile that really nobody else has the honor of witnessing.

nobody except you.

you hesitantly bring your right hand up, unable to resist the urge to gently cradle the back of his head. upon the split second of contact, however, bakugou stiffens, and you’ve half a mind to withdraw and pull away when he does so.

but all the apprehension evaporates from your system when almost immediately after, he nestles closer into you.

you feel yourself flush at the motion, failing to stop the smile that takes over your lips.

and, if you didn’t know any better, you’d bet your expensive ass dynamight figurines he’s blushing, too.

bonus:

you’re in the middle of feeding yourself a spoonful of chicken curry when you decide you finally have enough. placing the serving firmly on your platter, you shift to face bakugou, who’s at your right and eating beside you.

more of side-eyeing you than eating in the past thirty minutes since dinner arrived, really.

you pull your lips in a tight line, “spit it out, kats.”

at that, he tosses you a disgusted look, before quickly swallowing the mouthful of cabbage he was just munching on. “why the fuck should i do that?”

you roll your eyes, “not the food, dummy. you’ve got something you want to say.”

“i do not.”

you only give him a knowing stare.

bakugou huffs, putting down his own spoon after a pregnant pause, “fine.”

it takes him a moment to finally do so, and when he does you almost choke.

“…so who the fuck is akaashi and why do you also have one of him?”

for context, here's my entertainment area LMAO i really took self-indulgence to another level, huh (sorry not sorry) title is from the song call me by shinedown (credits to @creativepromptsforwriting for the idea)

anyway, thank you so much again to @/zestivivi for turning my vision into reality and then some <3 thank you for being so easy to work with and receptive to my requests, particularly to make the character look just like me! 'til the next one, for sure :,)

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[mychlapci]

So if Ultra is training Sentinel to be his little slutty secretary, Megatron is training his little Prime to be his partner not only in bed, but in battle too.

Optimus is the only mech who's actually managed to match Megatron in battle for eons, it would be a shame to lose that prowess. Even if Optimus is lubricating through his panels and drooling at the mere sight of Megatron's spike, he's still fighting the hypnosis. At first, Megatron pays it no mind, treating Optimus the same as he would any autobot slut. But soon he notices a pattern. Optimus doesn't respond well to being told to get on his knees and fights even while under hypnosis, his iron will won't let him submit and he even manages to break through, if only just enough to get a few rebellious phrases out. However, when Megatron treats Optimus like an equal, calling him his consort, his queen, actually listens to Optimus when he talks, Optimus practically melts and is much more cooperative in berth, easily submitting and begging like how Megatron imagined the first time.

Eventually it clicks, in order to get Optimus to behave, to submit, he has to treat him like he's equal to Megatron. The hypnosis is supposed to ensure submission, but submission can come very differently between mechs. For Optimus, he will only be submissive if his partner treats him with dignity and respect.

Honestly, it's a little concerning. Optimus has been so mistreated and neglected that he can't imagine being respected in anything other than his dirtiest, kinkiest, fantasies.

Megatron isn't surprised by this, and is in fact quite upset. He's very disappointed that the council hasn't changed in the millions of years he's been gone. So, if the hypnosis will only work on Optimus if he makes him is Queen and treats him as such, then so be it.

And it works out wonderfully. Megatron trains Optimus as his equal, teaching him to fight, to manage an army, to be a leader not unlike Megatron himself. Optimus' training regimen fills out his figure, a lovely hourglass figure with wide hips and thick thighs, his waistline is wider to accommodate for his shift in stature. When Megatron is in his office doing paperwork, he convinces Optimus that a good leader knows how to keep on top of his tasks with well deserved breaks. Optimus falls for it hook, line, and sinker, helping with Megatron's paperwork. Unlike Sentinel who is perfectly content doing as he's told without question, Megatron encourages Optimus to ask questions, start debates, he's come to the conclusion that Optimus truly is the best choice in consort and must be prepared to take over the Decepticon Empire should Megatron be unavailable. All of this coxxes Optimus further and further into his trance, happily giving himself to Megatron letting him plow his valve and fill him with transfluid.

And once Optimus is sparked, whoo boy. If Megatron was pretending to respect Optimus for the sake of keeping him under hypnosis, he certainly wasn't now. Carrier's are a very serious matter to Decepticons after all, and Optimus was treated with all the respect and love as any other Decepticon carrier. This comes with the added bonus of Optimus falling even deeper into his trance.

Best thing? Even if Optimus was pulled from his trance, no one would be able to tell. Optimus is fully cognizant under hypnosis, the program is telling him "it's ok to give in, to let these big, strong, brutes take the reigns and ruin his little valve with their monster size spikes. To give them control, to let them in, to follow every direction he's given like a good little slut and beg for his overloads. To be a good little whore and take their spikes without complaint." Optimus wouldn't allow such a thing without his input, "I'll do as I'm told, I'll let them fuck me, breed me, but ONLY if I get a say in it. If we're doing this, we're doing it my way."

And he does genuinely like the way Megatron treats him, it truly is a kink for him to be respected. If he's pulled out of the hypnosis, Optimus wouldn't change a thing. He's already ensured the safety of earth and it's people, his crew is being well taken care of by their handlers, and honestly? Cybertron did need to be reformed. Maybe he can convince Megatron to remove the hypnosis on the population in a few years, after Decepticon rule has been implemented and secured.

Megatron thought he played Optimus with the hypnosis? Optimus played the entire program by twisting it in his favor. Hypnosis can't make you do things you weren't capable of to begin with after all. It's a win-win situation tho, so no one's complaining.

Optimus with a kink for being respected... the implications are staggering and the possibilities are endless.

Optimus stubbornly fucks up his hypnosis because no way in hell is he letting Megatron treat him like some stupid idiot slut... He'll be his consort, sitting in a separate throne, with enough room for his growing belly, and he won't be pushed around. Megatron honestly can't believe just how much he likes it. A feisty autobot wife is much better than a plain, dumb spike-sleeve like Sentinel was turned into.

Megatron knows he's chosen right... He now has a worthy conjux helping him rule the newly conquered Cybertron, and producing heirs who'll inherit the entire empire once they're gone. This is everything he never knew he needed <3

[bumblingbabooshka]

I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]

Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.

At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.

Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.

Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.

It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.

I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.

At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.

[glasskey]

I’m Gonna Cut Your F#cking Heart Out - The June Osborne Hit List Pt 1.

You guessed it, time for our girl to finally get her own playlist. She’s been busy to say the least, so there’s certainly surplus to requirement here. Let’s start with some of her most memorable hits from The Handmaid’s Tale season 1.

Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum (Don’t let the bastards grind you down)

The infamous words of defiance and hope scrawled on the inside of June’s wardrobe from the previous Handmaid, who tragically, ultimately, let the bastards (Fred) grind her down. It was fitting that at the beginning of season 1, June had absolutely no idea what these words meant, but by the end of S2 she’d plastered them across the wall of her prison in foot high letters. Suitably she found this secret call to freedom destroyed upon her unceremonious return at the beginning of S2. We watched as Aunt Lydia and Serena proceeded to join forces to crush her spirit, leaving June catatonic and bleeding in the garden bed. It seemed poetic that June had to ask Fred their meaning, for their very essence incited rebellion and he was after all, her jailer. His response that it was a joke, indicated that the very concept of kicking against the system was laughable. It was a message contained in one of Fred’s boyhood school books, signifying a long since dead rebellious youth. Here in Gilead these words belong to June and she treats them like a prayer for strength against the resident “bastard” Fred, and his unending onslaught of rape and obsessive creepiness. The moment Fred is confronted by the words on June’s bedroom wall as he is held at gun point by Nick, is juxtaposed with his demise in that dark forest at the hands of Nick and June. The phrase signed off across his hung lifeless body marking June and Fred’s separation and the end of a sinister chapter. In her testimony June had asked for justice for the nameless, voiceless many and here it was at last, for the previous anonymous Handmaid who had hung herself in despair in the Waterford's attic.

Standing there in her room staring at those words, Fred of all people should have understood their subtext, but consumed with obsession and arrogance, he chose to ignore them. How was he to know they weren’t just a good old fashioned fuck you from Osborne, but also a prophetic warning.

What else is there to live for?

As much as I hated Fred, he did get some of the best lines and this one scene has three of his greats. This quote from Fred and the philosophical debate he has with June is one of my favorite Osborne moments. It encapsulates the difference in nature between their respective two worlds. Fred’s musings about life pre Gilead come loaded with allusions to men and women’s displacement from their traditional roles. Fred, and later Lawrence, argue that as these lines blurred and women attempted to exceed their “biological destinies”, men felt they lost their purpose and society crumbled. Fred believes that the sole purpose of humanity is to breed and perpetuate the human race, anything else such as love, is nothing more than sentimental garbage invented to facilitate this process. “Now you’re free to fulfil your biological destinies….what else is there to live for?” he asks “Love” June replies almost astonished at his ignorance. To her the answer is so self-evident and obvious; because unlike Fred she’s actually experienced it, and isn’t the emotional equivalent of a cavernous black hole. He scoffs dismissing it as lust, and she unfortunately overestimates the length of the leash Fred has her on. She drops the careless quip; “Maybe for you, but not for me”, questioning both his emotional depth and the authenticity of his feelings for Serena. He is less than amused. He proceeds to give her a not so subtle warning by telling her exactly what they did to Emily. It’s clear that in this world women’s needs or pleasure are not only irrelevant, but a hindrance to the cause.

Fred then drops what is possibly my favorite line for this entire series; “Every love story is a tragedy if you wait long enough”, it speaks volumes about the deterioration of his and Serena’s relationship. Once loving and affectionate it has become bitter and resentful within the bounds of Gilead, for in Gilead, anything beautiful decays. These words are both heartbreaking and loaded with foreboding, and it’s poetic that upon leaving his study she runs straight into Nick. The similarities and differences between Fred and Serena’s and Nick and June’s relationship are played out time after time throughout the seasons. This moment in particular leaves you wondering, will the other shoe indeed drop? Or are Fred and Serena actually the antithesis of what Nick and June will eventually become? Fred’s a cynic, he’s a monster but he can also recognize that Gilead comes at a personal cost to June and here we see the closest thing to an apology or at the very least an acknowledgment from Fred: “Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse for some.” It is notable that June, quotes this back to Nick in season 2, reluctant to abandon both he and Hannah in a place where love is not a purpose but merely a device.

What are you gonna trade us for? Fucking chocolate?

Here June gets her first lesson in just how much of a commodity women have become, on a global scale, even to other women. Alma lets her know from the very beginning the seedy details of the deals that are actually being made, and it sure as fuck isn’t for oranges. June unfortunately thinks that the Ambassador has some sort of interest in June’s imprisonment and if she only knew the appalling conditions June was being kept in she would undoubtedly do something about it. She’s wrong. When they first met she dutifully kept her trap shut, but then Serena had to go and parade all those children around in front of her. The spoils of Gilead and the consequence of the Handmaids enslavement. When the Ambassador turns up toting a tin of choccy to thank June for her candor about life in Gilead she lets her know exactly what being a Handmaid is all about, complete with the eye gouging and cattle prods. Contrary to belief she hasn’t sacrificed herself to the glory of Gilead; she was kidnapped, enslaved and her own child stolen. The Ambassador is of course horrified but willing to do exactly jack shit about it lest it endanger her trade deal for a shipment of Handmaids.

June’s suitably stunned and angry; she’s demanding some answers. Turns out the Ambassadors country desperately needs repopulating; although I was challenged to see what shipping over some fresh wombs would do without the whole Gilead old timey scrub down to go along with it, as this actually seemed to be the secret sauce. June accuses the Ambassador of trading the Handmaids for chocolate, it’s a stab at her moral fiber; chocolate serves no purpose but pleasure, it’s a trivial luxury, and as such she must view these women as mere chattels to trade them for it. If these people want to start trading red tags, June will make sure they see exactly what it costs them personally, and it’s a lot more than oranges and chocolate.

I’m sorry Aunt Lydia

Here we see the birth of Mayday or rather June’s true baptism as its unofficial leader. When faced with the prospect of stoning Janine to death, June chose instead to give Aunt Lydia the equivalent of the middle finger in front of her peers, complete with a smug “I’m sorry Aunt Lydia.” Much to Aunt Lydia’s horror her buddies all followed suit…..it was enough to make a cuddly old fascists blood boil. As the Handmaids walked in lockstep back to their respective homes, there was an undeniable new confident swagger to them. Nevermind, Gilead will shortly torture and terrify that out of them, but the damage is done, the rebellious rot has now set in for good.

Janine was the best behaved one out of the bunch and even she ended up a stone’s throw away from a salvaging; it could have been any one of them and they all knew it. In your run of the mill dictatorship, unquestioning loyalty is bred through fear and the reward of remaining alive. However, Gilead seemed to have made the fatal mistake of punishing it's innocent, leaving the Handmaids to reach the logical conclusion that they were fucked either way. Regimes such as these are ripe for rebellion. Gilead had unintentionally turned their handmaids attire from a ritualistic binding into a rebels uniform in one fell swoop, and unfortunately no amount of stylistic alterations were going to change it back now. This was the moment that the Handmaids realized that they had nothing to lose, and there’s nothing more dangerous than solidarity amongst those who are willing to sacrifice themselves for a cause.

While we all wait faithfully for S6, I'll be back with more playlists. See you then.

[britishassistant]

Gale’s Excellent Adventure (2)

Gale thinks that things are going well so far!

They’ve met and recruited a githyanki warrior—the first Gale’s ever seen outside of illuminations in scholarly texts!—and a rather dashing warlock who answers to the moniker “The Blade of the Frontiers”.

The fellow was hunting a war-devil, who turned out to be an unaccountably lovely tiefling with an infernal engine in her chest as well as a mindflayer tadpole on the brain.

He is looking forward to learning more about this exotic trio over the course of their travels together. And he’s learned so much more about his current companions too!

He now knows that Shadowheart is a cleric of a deity she will not name, but one that prizes secrecy and an intimate knowledge of torture and interrogation tactics among its followers.

(He’s relatively certain it’s not Mystra. Relatively. Almost probably.)

That Astarion channels the innate cruelty and ruthlessness of his profession into being very skilled at stabbing people in the vitals and relieving them of any valuables they possessed.

(Also he contains a puckish glee for “odd” names. He was in stitches over “Wyll-with-a-Y” for hours.)

That Yuu has yet to receive any formal training as a bard or a combatant, but improvises with what few cantrips they do know to devastating effect.

(They’re trading him magical items for lessons on the Weave. Gale’s surprised at how he enjoys it.)

There’s been a few…fractious moments between certain individuals who shall remain nameless, but he’s certain everyone will be fast friends soon enough! They’re all in this together, bonded over getting rid of the mindflayer tadpoles.

And best of all, no one’s noticed a thing.

He’s been patient, and observant, and has learned enough by now to mimic the spasms the others get when their tadpoles are…tadpoling. Their mental communications are harder to fake, but nothing a sneaky “detect thoughts” can’t fix.

Yes, he’s blended in splendidly, if he does say so himself.

***

“Gale? Can I have a word?”

“Hm?” He looks round, drawn out of his musings by one of his new friends. “Ah, Shadowheart! How can I be of help?”

She glances around, taking in Karlach debating with Lae’zel, Astarion needling Yuu while they’re trying to hold a conversation with Wyll.

“It’s a bit of a…personal matter.” She leans in. “Would you mind if we took this somewhere more private?”

Oh. Oh!

Well, this is a little awkward. Gale knows he’s handsome man and a capable wizard. It’s only natural that, in such close proximity for so long, someone would fall in love with him sooner or later.

Still, he reflects as they arrive in the ruins behind the camp. His dedicated monogamy to Mystra does mean that he has little to no idea how to let someone down gently or ask if he can get to know them a little better first before committing fully. She certainly provided no example—swept in with power and a whirlwind romance only to just vanish into the night and never respond to his sendings or prayers. Oh hells, how is he going to—

“I know you don’t have a tadpole, Gale.” Shadowheart announces gravely.

Gale promptly chokes on his own spit.

“Wh-wh-what?!” He splutters. “What are you—how—that’s—!”

“Really?” She tilts her head at him, a cross between sardonic and pitying. “That’s all it takes for you to break? Gale, I made one statement. Do I need to teach you how to lie so the others don’t unmask you so easily?”

“I don’t know what—?” He tries to lie, but she folds her arms, stare growing even more unimpressed. “Alright, alright, but not so loud! How in Mystra’s name did you find out?”

“It really wasn’t that difficult.” She shrugs.

He lets out a little snort, kicking a twig. “Spare my feelings, why don’t you.”

Shadowheart sighs, taking pity on his pouting. “Fine. It started in the Druid sanctum. When we happened upon the druidess menacing the tiefling child, the rest of us were treated to a…rather unpleasant vision. Involving a much smaller Yuu, an elven beauty, and attempted horn removal.”

He feels as though he cricks something in his neck, whipping around to face her. “I’m sorry, there was what?”

“It doesn’t matter,” She dismisses, far too casually in his humble opinion. “What matters is that, given that Astarion and myself were both effectively deaf, dumb, and blind thanks to the tadpoles forcing us to view that charming little scene, how were you able to remain aware enough to keep Yuu from impulsively murdering that druid?”

He thinks of how he’d had to lunge when he noticed the tailless tiefling tugging free the spear they’d scavenged, the way the teenager had turned to him with glassy-eyed incomprehension before they shuddered back into themselves as if shaking off lingering night terrors.

“The pieces fell into place from there easily enough.” Shadowheart continues, meandering as she talks. “You react a moment too late if something the tadpoles do affects us physically. And you respond like a normal person ought to when confronted with other instances of the parasite that we’ve come across.”

“I see.” Gale mutters. Then, fiddling at his sleeves slightly. “A normal person, as opposed to…?”

Shadowheart’s face creases into a disgusted grimace. “An abiding compulsion from our guests to find more of the little monsters and slurp them down as if they’re a bowl of your fine stew.”

“Ah. Urgh.” Gale can’t keep his own nose from wrinkling.

The two of them marinate in companionably disgusted silence for a few moments.

“…And now?” Gale asks, unable to bear the silence any longer. “Is this where you announce to hither, thither and yon that I’m a fraud? Or did you have some personal retribution planned for my disseminations before proceeding with my banishment?”

A soft, sweet smile curves Shadowheart’s lips. Even with the mischievous twinkle in her eyes, it’s one of Gale’s favorite expressions of hers.

“Well, I wouldn’t say we need to go as far as all that. You’ve been a fine companion, Gale, even without the tadpole. I feel the tenor of this group would drop dramatically if you left us. The quality of our meals certainly would.”

A single ember of hope sparks into a quivering flame in his chest. “So then—!”

“But,” She holds up a finger to interrupt him. “I will require something in return. A guarantee, of sorts. I’m hardly Lady Popularity, after all, and if the others discover I’ve been lying for you then things could get quite sticky for me, you understand?”

He dithers for a moment, before letting himself nod. “Anything. I’ll do anything—ah, short of harming or endangering our fellow companions. Or myself. Or you.”

She tosses him a sardonic look. “Gale, would I ever?”

He elects not to answer that.

“I need you to keep an eye out for something.” Shadowheart says. “It’s a…keepsake of mine. I had it with me on the Nautiloid, but when I woke up afterwards, it was gone.”

“Oh. Oh dear.” Gale frowns, considering. “Well, I’m happy to aid however I can. What does it look like?”

She kneels down and, picking up a twig, sketches a vague dodecahedron with strange, angular characters decorating its surface. “It’s a little smaller than a fist, and black with orange markings. It is vital I get it back, it—! It means a lot to someone very important to me. Someone I’d hoped to reunite with in Baldur’s Gate.”

And call him a soft touch, but Gale’s always been partial to grand romantic gestures of devotion. “Alright. I’ll keep a keen eye out for it, don’t you worry. Might even dust off some of the old divination textbooks to see if scrying would be of any use!”

“Thank you, Gale.” Shadowheart smiles, verdant eyes sparkling with warmth like sunlight dappled through tree leaves. “You’re an excellent friend.”

It may be a little embarrassing, but that praise warms the cockles of Gale’s heart for the rest of the evening and well past noon the next day.

That warmth quickly goes tepid when it turns out the keepsake is in the custody of their intrepid leader, so revealed when the teenager pulls it out, bold as brass, to ask him if he can identify whether or not it is some form of communication device.

They at least heed his urging to return it to Shadowheart, even if they grumble slightly about the spies for the Order of the Companion as they do so. Shadowheart is rightfully indignant, but willing to forgive. His secret is safe. Gale is content that all is right with the world.

Which is when they all discover that Yuu literally, physically cannot give up the artefact.

***

“Wizard.”

“Gah!” He can’t help jumping.

“Ah, Lae, Lae’zel! You startled me. Can I help with anything?”

She scowls at him. Or possibly just looks at him neutrally. Perhaps even favorably! He’s never quite been able to tell.

Being too intimidated to maintain eye contact may have something to do with it.

“Follow me.” Lae’zel orders.

As with most of her orders, Gale obeys mostly without question.

Mostly.

“Rather, rather unusual for you to summon me, isn’t it? Not that I don’t enjoy conversing with you, far from it! I’ve always found it highly, ah, enlightening to learn more about githyanki philosophy and custom, particularly in matters of—!”

He finds himself transfixed by a pair of golden eyes staring into his soul and by a finger pressing to his lips.

“Cease this prattle.” She snaps. “You are no yank begging for mercy from a varsh. I have matters of import to discuss, so be silent and listen.”

Despite his usual difficulties with the task, Gale finds himself shrinking mutely back into the tree she has him effectively pinioned against.

A gleam of approval enters her gaze.

He chooses to interpret the removal of her finger as a proverbial carrot to incentivize his behavior.

“I know of your deception, wizard.” Lae’zel pronounces. “That you merely pretend to be afflicted with the parasite the rest of us suffer.”

His blood turns to ice.

“Ha. Hahaha!” He laughs, nonchalantly, like Shadowheart’s taught him. “That is. That is a. Funny joke, Lae’zel! Truly, you are the comedic backbone of this camp!”

Her expression does not change.

Gale tries desperately to concentrate on maintaining the illusion of mirth.

He fails.

“What gave it away?” He asks wearily, recognizing a thorough routing when he sees it.

“It was simple for one such as I.” She declares. “Of all who fell sweating and diminished under the tadpole’s machinations, you alone were flush with health. The gi even used this a proof to keep me from purging the camp.”

“Gi?”

Lae’zel rolls her eyes. “Gi, student in Common. The tailless one requested my instruction in combat, so they would not perish as they almost did aboard the Nautiloid. But that is irrelevant to the matter at hand. Which is that the next morn, you again were the sole member of this sorry band who did not immediately come forward with talk of a figure in golden armor in your dreams, telling us to utilize the tadpole.”

“Ah.” Gale had personally thought his improvisation when Yuu had consulted him, cobbled together from elements he’d overheard from the others, had been rather inspired all things considered. “Might there be anything I could do to convince you to not evict me from camp?”

Lae’zel crosses her arms. “And risk losing what is a blessing from Vlaa’kith herself? Do not be foolish!”

“Erm?” Says Gale.

“I would make you my ally, wizard.” She announces. “As the only one free of ghaik infection, you alone are free of their trickery and deceptions. You alone see things as they truly are, instead of what the parasite would have us believe them be.”

He considers this with a sense that is not quite dread, but is not far off in how it looms over him, makes his breath short under its scale. The anticipation of a burden to bear, perhaps.

“I…suppose so.”

“Do not suppose, know. That is what wizards claim to be their domain, is it not?” She challenges, a cocky bent to her smirk that makes Gale want dearly to rise to it. To prove himself worthy, somehow.

“Very well. And what would this alliance entail?” He queries.

“I would have you as my touchstone. To assure me of what is real and what is mere fabrication.” Lae’zel asserts, in the manner of a commander dispensing orders. “And, should the ghaik infection progress beyond this, aid me in ending the misery of the others and myself.”

Gale does not choke this time, but it’s a near thing.

“You what?!” He squawks. “Lae’zel, you can’t be serious!”

“And why not?!” She fires back. “You, above all others, know the danger of the ghaik! You know what will happen if we are allowed to transform! I will not permit it!!”

“Yes, well, but—! Lae’zel, you asked me to act as touchstone for you.” He implores, seeking out her gaze. “Then let me. This is madness speaking, Lae’zel, the purest folly. Losing you, or any of the others, that could in no way make the world a safer place. If anything—!”

He pounces on this new line of reasoning that has just dawned on him. “If anything, isn’t it far more likely that this is one of the tadpole’s insidious commands?”

Her eyes snap to him, alert as any bird of prey. “Explain.”

“Well, consider it,” Gale proposes, warming to his topic. “When we came upon those Absolute fellows with tadpoles in their heads, we didn’t join up with their cause, did we? In fact, Yuu deliberately orchestrated their demise while fighting that owlbear, so even their corpses couldn’t give a clear account of their killers. Maybe the tadpoles have realized you all have far more, erm, vigor and vim than they can contend with? Thus leading to them attempting to encourage you to terminate yourselves or each other to keep you from growing too powerful, opposing whatever their plans may be?”

He can see the cogs turning in her head as she gives his words due consideration. “Hrm…that would explain why Shadowheart is so irascible, and unwilling to allow the gi to return the aretfact to my people.”

He privately considers that this may have more to do with the fact that Shadowheart is still very determined to gift the artefact to her beloved in Baldur’s Gate and that she just greatly dislikes Lae’zel, but decides discretion is the better part of valor in this case.

“To think that the tadpole could even use the training of crèche K’llir against me…” Lae’zel shakes her head, disquieted. “Already this alliance bears fruit. I will keep your secret, wizard, and keep you appraised of when the parasite attempts its trickery again.”

Gale sags as the tension he’s amassed over the course of this conversation escapes him all at once. “R-right, erm, of course. Please, please do.”

She nods to him and strides off back to camp.

He waits until she’s out of sight before letting himself sink against the base of the tree in exhaustion.

Well all’s well that ends well, he supposes. And if that means Lae’zel occasionally comes to him to complain about certain habits of their companions that inspire murderous rage in her, and it turns into a bit of a gossip session…

Well, it’s certainly better than the alternative.

***

“Care for a drink, Gale?”

It’s late, and most of the camp is curled up in their bedrolls and tucked away in their tents. He had presumed that the only ones left awake were himself, pouring over a rather interesting volume of Fringe Philosophy, and that dog which followed Yuu back from goodness knows where in the woods.

The frowsy canine has been eyeing his boots with intent, he just knows it.

He finds himself for once welcomely mistaken when he looks up to see Wyll proffering one of the bottles of Ithbank that also returned with the scouting party.

“Ooh, don’t mind if I do.” He puts the book to the side, scooching to make space for his new companion in libations on the log.

Wyll takes a seat next to him, muscled thigh bulging where it presses against Gale’s own.

Gale tries in vain to focus instead on the gratifyingly full cup the Blade of Frontiers passes him. The wine itself tastes tart and dry as it goes down.

“Oh, that hits the spot.” Gale sighs happily. “My deepest thanks, good sir. I must admit I did not realize how sorely I needed this.”

“Ah, think nothing of it.” Wyll replies modestly.

The pair of them sup together in convivial silence.

It’s when Gale is refilling Wyll’s cup for the third time that he ventures, tentatively, “Gale? You would consider us friends, correct?”

A horrible, prickling feeling starts up the back of Gale’s neck.

“Of course. I hardly know of a situation where somebody could fight alongside you and not look upon our relationship with a considerable degree of amicability.” He responds, wetting his lips. Then, with a slight undertone of suspicion, “Why?”

“As if we are friends, like you and I have agreed.” Wyll goes on doggedly, somehow managing to give an entreating gaze with one eye hell-red-on-black and the other made of stone. “Then it would be right and proper of me to let you know of certain deductions I have made about your person. Correct?”

Oh, for the love of Mystra—!

“Out with it, then.” He mutters gloomily, seizing the bottle for a generous pour. “What, when, where, why, how?”

Wyll takes the bottle with a measure of trepidation, lips softly pursed in deliberation before he sets it down in the grass between them.

“Well, you remember the phase spiders. In the well?”

Gale lets out a piteous moan. “Please don’t remind me.”

“You were trying to cast magic missile on one of them, but its vermin-riddled servant was coming up behind you.” Wyll continues, “And no matter how Yuu and I tried to connect with your tadpole to warn you, it was as though we couldn’t reach it. As though it wasn’t there in the first place. And then Karlach shoved you.”

“And then Karlach shoved me.” He repeats numbly. The burn where her elbow got his ribs healed without a trace after one potion.

The memory of her horrified screaming when the arachnids swarmed her and somehow didn’t immediately meet a fiery demise will take a much heavier draught to recover from.

He groans, taking a too big swig from his goblet.

“I suppose you’ll be wanting something then, in exchange for not running me out of camp at first light.” He states, the wine making his inhibitions loose and speech spill freely. “Some arcane knowledge your patron has failed to provide? The retrieval of a family heirloom? Counsel from a former archmage?”

“What? No, I—!”

A muffled snort interrupts Wyll’s passionate rebuke. After watching the dog settle itself again by the fire with bated breath, Gale is drawn back to his drinking partner’s earnestness.

“I require counsel for…” Wyll pauses, considering. “A lot of things in my life right now. But. But more than that, I would be forever grateful for a friendly ear. Someone to commiserate with, without needing to plan and solve things that are beyond help.”

Gale swirls his cup and watches the small whirlpool of red.

“Hm. They are a bit of a doer, aren’t they?”

Wyll does not even ask who he means, just groans in a way Gale can sympathize with. “I—Yuu’s very capable, and Helm preserve me but I like them, but do they ever switch off?!“

“I”, Gale confides in his most conspiratorial tones, “Once saw them pull out that journal of theirs after speaking with Lae’zel and begin scribbling down a detailed synopsis of the conversation they’d just held. While we were inside the hag’s lair.”

Wyll stares at him, eyes bulging. He lets slip a bark of laughter he instantly muffles by clapping a hand over his mouth.

Gale can’t help the surge of pleased satisfaction that courses through him.

“Gods above, but that cannot be healthy. Leading every excursion out of camp, acting as arbiter within it, recording everything, concocting alchemicals, training with you and Lae’zel…” Wyll scrubs a hand over his head, frowning in annoyance when he bumps the horns sprouting from his brow. “I’m growing worried that we’ll wake one morning to find them expired in their bedroll from exhaustion.”

“They’re young.” Gale soothes, taking perhaps a larger gulp of his Ithbank than he originally intended. “Driven. I was much the same at their age, impatient to prove myself worthy to those who equaled me in skill but surpassed me in age. I think with some time and guidance from those in our company they ought to calm down somewhat, mark my words.”

Wyll sighs heavily and lists gently into Gale’s side, solid and warm. “I hope so, for all our sakes. But by the gods, I’m twenty four. I’m too young to be feeling old.”

Gale, in his mid thirties, does not comment on how old that particular comment makes him feel.

“Ah, be that as it may…” He trails off, scratching at the rim of the cup with his nail. “I hate to press, but can I be assured of your discretion in this matter?”

The fond smile that rewards this query near takes his breath away.

“Don’t worry, my friend.” Wyll squeezes his shoulder firmly. “I won’t tell a soul, I swear on mine and my father’s lives.”

Gale is unable to do much more than nod dumbly, soon deciding to turn in before he does anything too daring for sobriety.

It doesn’t keep Wyll from sharing that soft, secretly fond smile with him as they journey onwards, or share conversation in the evenings.

He’s certain it can’t be good for his heart.

***

“Oh, Gale darling~”

It’s almost pavlovian, how Gale’s shoulders hunch guiltily at the affectionate address.

“Astarion. How can I help you?”

“I’ve a sudden and uncontrollable craving for your company. Quite irresistable, I’m afraid. Come,” The pale elf beckons. “Won’t you walk with me?”

It’s a trap. It’s so obviously a trap that Gale would be fool to fall for it.

Astarion tilts his head, peering up at him from under his eyelashes.

Gale falls into step with the weary resignation of a sentenced man making his way to the gallows. Still, the walk is almost nice, getting to gaze upon nature in all its splendor as Astarion somehow manages to make nattering on about everything and nothing sound compelling and engaging.

Right up until he says, “…though that pales in comparison to what I heard you and Wyll talking about the other night, darling.”

All of the muscles in his body lock up like someone had enchanted him by mistake in place of their chest of valuables.

He sighs. “I don’t supposed I could convince you that I’ve no worldly clue what you’re talking about?”

“Hmm, maybe.” Astarion hums. “But then I began thinking about you seemed blissfully unburdened with flashbacks from the Descent when the little bard was conversing with our devil friend. Also the incident with the grease—”

“Yes, well, we don’t need to get into that.” Gale grumbles, wishing he knew how to craft a draught that represses those memories of his early tactical errors.

“Of course, I’m never one to kiss and tell.” Astarion places a hand on his chest, faux innocence practically leaking from every fiber of his being. “But, I might need to ask for a small favour in return. To ensure it stays just between us.”

Gale nods for him to divulge his demand.

“Well, first things first.” The pale elf backs him up against a tree in embrace that has blood rushing furiously to his cheeks. “I should probably let you in on my little secret. I just so happen to be what some colloquially refer to as a vampire.”

“Oh. You’re a vampire?” Gale repeats dumbly. Then, as several key details suddenly slot into place. “Oh fuck, you’re a vampire.”

The newly outed vampire has the audacity to roll his eyes. “Please, I’m a spawn, darling. No need to fret about my turning you. And while I’ve been getting by on animals, I need something more…potent to unleash my full potential.”

His nose, oddly cool now Gale takes note of it, skims over his carotid artery. “And you, my dear, have them all beat for potency.”

The proximity and near-intimacy of it is making Gale’s head spin, which is why he doesn’t think about any potential downsides, until Astarion’s pleased hum after his fangs sink in turns to a muffled sound of incredulity.

“Gale.” It takes him a moment to blink back into himself to register he’s being spoken to. “What the fuck is wrong with your blood?”

“Ah. Well.” He scuffs some of the leaves underfoot with the toe of his boot. “You recall the camp meeting I called last week about the orb of dread Netherese magic in my chest?”

“The what—?!”

“..re you there? Astari—!”

Gale jolts as Astarion springs away from him, the pair of them staring wildly at the unofficial leader of their merry troupe, who looks as mortified as Gale feels. “—Oookay, I did. Not mean to walk in on. You two?”

“You could sound less surprised, darling.” Astarion pouts silkily, not an errant drop of red to be seen.

“I’ll admit it wasn’t who my gold was on,” Yuu mumbles, almost too softly to hear. Gale can’t help but wonder what they mean by that as they raise their voice with a little cough.

“Look, I don’t care if you two want to sneak off and, and give each other hickeys—”

He can feel his cheeks warm violently at the implication. “That’s—!”

“I know, I know, completely none of my business, but.” Yuu comes to an abrupt stop. “Wait. Gale, are you—are you bleeding?”

Gale suddenly realizes the warm slide down his neck that he’d taken for nervous sweat is in fact a substance of the more sanguine variety.

“Erm.” He tries. “No?”

Astarion stares at him, eyes round with disbelief.

“Are you fucking joking?!” He demands, in the same breath as Yuu exhales, “Oh fuck, you’re a vampire. How the fuck did I miss that?!”

“Now, now hold on a moment!” Gale, sensing imminent disaster, steps between them. “Yes, he may be a vampire, but he’s hardly some, some bloodthirsty beast like the tawdry excuses for literature we’ve been scavenging would have us believe! It isn’t like we’ve been waking up to any one of us drunk dry during the night, is it? All five of us, yet Astarion has had the near, near deific self control to hold out until this very evening before requesting—quite politely, if I may add!—if I would find sympathy for his plight and contribute to his welfare so that he can continue to aid us to the best of his ability. As he has done thus far without acknowledgement of his sacrifices.”

Yuu raises an eyebrow at him. “And you agreed?”

He spreads his arms helplessly. “I—How could I not?”

Yuu glances warily between him and the vampire. They pinch the bridge of their nose and let out a sigh.

“If we arrange a voluntary feeding schedule, would that help, Astarion?”

For a moment, the vampire just stares at the two of them, mouth agape.

Slowly, he nods.

“We’ll go over exact amounts and who’ll be participating later.” Yuu announces brusquely. “I need to gently break the news to the others first. Give me an hour, and I should have everyone on the same page.”

“Thank you,” Gale clasps his hands in their direction. “Your foresight is invaluable, as always. You won’t regret this, I promise.”

The would-be bard raises a blithe hand in acknowledgement as they crunch through the leaves back to camp.

“I’m genuinely unsure whether I should kiss you or kill you.”

He blinks at Astarion. “Erm? W-Well, I’d rather. Rather the former than the latter if it’s on the table. Though please don’t take it as an obligation of some kind! I never had any intentions of indebting you to me.”

“Please.” Astarion drawls as he slinks over, looping his arms once more around Gale’s neck. “How could I let such a…gallant defense go unrewarded? And our little bard did say we have an hour, after all…”

“Oh!” Gale says. Then. “O-ohh…”

And, as a gentleman of discretion and valor, he will draw the curtain on the scene there.

***

“Hey, soldier!”

Karlach falls into step next to him as they trudge through the Underdark. Up ahead, he can faintly make out Astarion and Yuu quietly conferring about whether their crossbow or his bow would be more suitable for removing the red glowing mushrooms that litter their path to the wizard’s tower.

“So,” She says, waggling her eyebrows at him saucily. “You and Fangs, eh?”

“Fangs?” He repeats, confused.

“Astarion,” She clarifies. “Even with the donation system and all that, he seems to be sweetest on you. You two a thing at all?”

“Ha! Ah, I’m not sure.” Gale demurs. “On the one hand, even if I have to disagree with your definition of “sweetest”, he has been the perfect gentleman when he’s not busy driving me round the bend. On the other, he apparently managed to tune out all of my explanations about the Netherese orb currently residing in my chest. Claims he was too distracted by my boots, of all things.”

“They are nice boots,” Karlach observes, which does make Gale preen. “Was a bit more taken with you kneeling while pressing Yuu’s hand to your chest, m’self.”

“That was for practical demonstration.” He stresses, cheeks flushing with the belated embarrassment that’s dogged him since about fifteen minutes afterwards. “I could hardly expect you all to take me seriously without proof.”

“Right, and your proof usually involves you getting on your knees, does it?” At his indignant splutter, Karlach lets out a laugh that’s no less lovely for how it resembles a bray rather than bells tinkling. “Joking, I’m joking Gale. Though, if you’re not with Fangs, would you instead say that you’d been involved with Shadowheart? Since the tenday before last? Loudly?”

“Shadowheart? What in—” Gale suddenly notices how his conversation partner’s eyes keep darting to the tailless tiefling a few meters away from them, recalls their comment from the evening Astarion’s secret had been revealed. It all clicks.

“Wait. You aren’t—are you betting on my love life?!” He demands, scandalized.

Karlach shrugs, tip of her tongue caught between the teeth of her unrepentant grin.

“Well, we’ve gotta do something for entertainment, don’t we? The others keep circling around you like they’re wargs and you’re a set of deep rothé ribs! And who can blame them? You’re a catch.”

Gale is for once extremely glad he can blame Karlach’s ambient temperature for the way his face suddenly and inexplicably feels burning hot.

“That’s—! I’m afraid you’ve the entirely wrong end of the staff if that’s your line of thinking.” He says stiffly. “None of them have any truly amorous interest in me, just discussing something. Something private.”

“Oh.” Karlach frowns for a moment.

Then she says, “What, did they work out you don’t have a tadpole as well?”

You’d think, after the fifth time such a revelation was made, Gale would be sufficiently prepared to not have a physical reaction to it.

You would be wrong.

“How?!” The words, meant to sound dignified if resigned, emerge with more of a trimming of petulant whine.

“Known ever since I met you.” She devastates cheerfully. “Got prowling around the Gate from Fangs, dragon’s fire from Lae’zel, training in the dark from Shadowheart, talking down mercs from Yuu, hunting me from Wyll, but from you? Nothing.”

“Ah.” He acknowledges. Then, “So, is that what happens every time you all meet someone new with a tadpole? You get a concentrated history of their past exploits through communication between the parasites?”

Karlach’s mouth twists as she considers. “Hm, I don’t think so? You can still keep secrets, else we’d have all known about Astarion a lot sooner. And the cult leaders woulda had us all killed the moment we walked in. It’s more like…snippets of that person? I’m not sure if it’s bits and bobs about them that are more like you or just what they think about themselves.”

“Fascinating,” Gale breathes. He’ll admit, given all the subterfuge he’s had to go through, he’s only been able to glean piecemeal information about the affliction.

After all, it’s hardly like he could just wander up to the others and ask them about it off-hand. Could he?

“Probably for the best you don’t have it, on the whole.” She stretches, toned muscles standing in stark relief with every movement. “Aside from the whole mindflayer-y thing, you at least didn’t have to deal with Yuu’s hangover in your head.”

Gale winces in commiseration. A lot of people had been plying their erstwhile leader with alcohol at the tiefling party, to the point where they ended up passed out in their bedroll halfway through the evening. From the way they still looked bleary after Shadowheart and Halsin cast Lesser Restoration on them the next morn, Gale would bet all his gold and then some that they’ve very little experience drinking so heavily, if any.

Still, he drums his fingers against his leg as he considers how best to broach this next bit.

“Although…you do understand if I ask that you not repeat this, please? Given that not quite everyone is…aware.”

“Course.” Karlach says, tapping the side of her nose. “Mum’s the word, eh?”

“Quite.” Gale wrings his hands together. He opens and closes his mouth. “And you don’t…want anything?��

Karlach tilts her head. “How’d you mean?”

“You know.” Gale makes a frittering notion with his hands. “Something to buy your silence, or what have you?”

“What?!” She looks askance at him, snorting in a way he finds unreasonably attractive. “What’s the point in that? You don’t want me to tell, so I won’t. Simple as that.”

He can’t help smiling broadly at her, at the way the flames licking off her skin reflect in the vents protruding from her shoulder, off the dancing humor in her eyes.

They both turn to observe their companions are taking potshots at the mushrooms and cheering when one of their projectiles manages to set off a chain reaction.

“Actually, there is something.”

Ah. Damn.

He tenses despite himself. “And what would that be?”

“When I get Dammon to fix my engine proper so I don’t burn anymore,” She decrees with the regality of a queen. “You’ve got to give me a big hug. A proper one. If you want to, ‘course.”

The sudden release of nerves is almost euphoric.

“I’ll hold you to that.” He vows.

[cancerian-woman]

How do you feel about the constant power upgrades? For example, Klaus was supposed to be the strongest being alive, the hybrid, then he gets replaced by Lucian and Marcel? Or Bonnie who literally had expression at one point and is a Bennet getting replaced by Davina, Freya, Dahlia, etc.

I’ll try not to make this too long. I have some previous posts here. TVDU’s power scaling is all over the place tbh. The Mikaelson’s started off being known as ONE of the most powerful oldest families so naturally someone had to take them down a peg. Which is why characters kept coming stronger. Lucien and Marcel were each consequences of the Mikaelson family. Marcel wouldn’t gone to those lengths had his family treated like family.

All the white witches get to be known as powerful and shown in these various moments alone. All of them do. Esther, Dahlia, Freya, Davina, Hope etc. All are granted their own stand-alone moments. Esther in TVD LEECHED off the Bennett bloodline living and dead. Esther praises Ayana repeatedly until TO. Davina gets complimented by her power consistently in TO. Freya has the “first born Mikaelson” plot. Hope is the tribrid. We’re supposed to respect their titles just from that. Esther had 7 children, and only 2 were witches. Esther and Dahlias village was taken out by Vikings but…anyways. Fans could compare the TO witches to each other but instead they just compare them all to Bonnie. Especially Hope LOL.

Bonnie doesn’t get a lot of credit for being a self-taught witch. She had little to no help post Grams death. Bonnie is a Bennett witch. Her family is the key to the basis of the world building/lore but is never given a plot to themselves alone. Just serving others. The Mikaelson’s had Ayana, The Salvatore’s had Emily/Bonnie. Katherine had Emily and Lucy. The Gemini coven had Grams. Silas and Amara’s had Qetsiyah who created everything by herself. Bonnie’s not just a witch, she’s a psychic-witch. From what we’ve seen of Silas, Bonnie could certainly replicate those psychic abilities. Cade said he’s never seen anyone do what Bonnie did. The other witches are praised for their various titles but it’s very rare to see non-Bonnie fans praise Bonnie for being the one and only psychic-witch. They just say she’s a Bennett witch and leave it at that.

But when it comes to Bonnie’s big moments shared or undone by others. Killing Kai? Damon does it. (If Kai HAD to die it should’ve been by Bonnie’s hand.) Killing Cade? Shared. Petrifying Silas? Oh right well Elena needs her brother so let’s kill Bonnie. Davina can break Klaus sireline and it’s done alone. While in death NO Bonnie can’t have her magic but Davina can. Well make sure Davina is praised fighting the originals as if Bonnie hasn’t already done that. Julie once said that Bonnie was a loophole and needed to be hindered all the time. Which is BS when you remember Freya/Davina etc have had their negative moments but has never lost their ties to magic. Bonnie is the blueprint, without Bonnie or her family white witches don’t have a basis. Every witch in some form is a copy of Bonnie. 🤷🏽‍♀️ . Tvd fans will debate if Bonnie was actually mistreated and in the same breathe pull up something the writers said about Hope/Dahlia/Freya etc to just argue their “Bonnie’s a plot device and her magic is illogical thoughts”

TVD fumbled hard with Bonnie and the Bennett’s. But black authors have been making Bonnie’s character type the basis of their fantasy books lately and has been getting so much success from that. An example being the Legendborn series.

[labratatouille]

History Professor Kyle Broflovski headcanons because my hyperfixation is hyperfixating:

⋆ known to drink red wine from a teapot, Stan will occasionally join him for this reason alone.

⋆ hands covered in rushed ink scribbles 24/7, he’s his own diary.

⋆ to the surprise of basically everybody who has ever witnessed his academic grind-set, unless he is incredibly swamped by work his office remains pretty tidy.

⋆ known to fall asleep at his desk.

⋆ treats lectures like performances, his students thank him for it.

⋆ one time Cartman as a joke edited Kyle’s lecture PowerPoint (with a back-up obviously) to include some incredibly rude images. To his surprise Kyle made direct eye contact with him, sipped his coffee, and ran with it. Nobody suspected a thing.

⋆ he has doctors handwriting, it is illegible, he is not sorry. He also doesn’t believe Stan when he gently lets him know that it is unreadable chicken scratch.

⋆ calls his students nerds, he finds it justified because at least he gets paid to be one.

⋆ while discussing deep and academic historic topics he will not hesitate to swear or use slang, he can and will debate for hours on why he thinks this is fair.

⋆ while his office is tidy, there is certainly an abundance of books. everywhere. every surface, even the floor. bro has his own personal library.

⋆ will buy himself flowers to make his office a bit more cheery, once had a two hour debate with Cartman after buying himself tulips – Cartman is far too into Victorian Flower Language and assumed Kyle had got himself into a secret relationship with this as his pedantic way of announcing it. In character tho honestly–

⋆ refuses to sell textbooks after using them, Kyle and his old textbooks have a parasocial relationship. He annotates them excessively with little doodles and everything.

⋆ actually isn’t super into literature, he was shocked at finding out how into reading Kenny was and is super open to all of the blond’s recommendations. Kenny is the only reason he regularly reads non-fiction books.

⋆ hates the overused Indiana Jones jokes but will not hesitate to make them himself, especially towards Kenny (the walking stereotype of a thrill-seeking treasure hunter)

⋆ odd socks. this man will be wearing the most formal attire ever, refined to the smallest details, then people realise him wearing like one pink sock and one checkered blue sock and be like “ohhhhh screw this guy”

⋆ known for his quick wit and sarcastic comments, always keeping his students on their toes and paying attention to every word he says. When talking to the guys he says that it’s just a tactic to get them to focus, really he just secretly loves being that bitch.

If you’re interested so far then feel free to go check out a fic with this Kyle as one of the main characters on AO3 called Knights Of The Cardinal Compass, a fic where the m4 are all history nerds and go on an adventure looking for the all powerful medieval artefact known as the crusaders compass across continents and far too many cities

AO3: lab_ratatouille

Thank you!! Might be back with a part 2 because this man is special to me <3

[quillyfied]

Hellaverse Theories: Hazbin Hotel S1E8

Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! Last episode of Hazbin time, and after this I’ll start on Helluva Boss (which shouldn’t be nearly as long but I am a windbag so who knows). Let’s go!!

Hazbin Hotel s1e8, here we go:

And here we go again with Vox and his complete reasonable obsession with Alastor and anyone who associates with him, love that for Vox, truly. Best life: he’s living it. But it’s also kinda scary how comprehensive a view Vox has of everyone and everything; we know this already, but watching him watching the Hotel just sort of feels…more violating. Because of audience bonding with the characters, really, but still. There’s a reason why the Vees are a terrifying force to be reckoned with and its real-world reflections make me too sad and full of impotent rage to manage so let’s move on.

Charlie wishing her mom could see this! Sweet! Valid! Somehow super sad knowing where her mom is but not knowing why!!

Well. Vaggie straight-up calls them all “sinners.” So for me that pretty handily puts the “are cannibals sinners” debate to bed. For a while, at least; I’m still gonna be double-checking the blood spatter when the battle starts.

Yeah Pentious giving the grand toast to not dying, I’m not. I’m not emotional. I’m fine.

So this little scene with Alastor and Niffty…intriguing. Seems to show a softer side of Alastor, one where he hangs up the scheming for one minute and admits he’s been enjoying himself, enjoying these people (for their interpersonal drama entertainment value if nothing else). It’s funny and it’s sweet and definitely shows why Niffty sticks with Alastor on the off chance he doesn’t own her soul. And it also has me not completely convinced that when Alastor gets the chance to accomplish his goals by betraying everyone at the Hotel, he isn’t going to feel some level of conflict about it. Getting a character who believes so completely in their own infallibility to crack: the ultimate Good Narrative Food.

(nope hang on angel and husk are flirting pause the analysis have to go squeal about it—)

(I’m a veteran of the Good Omens (TV) fandom and got pulled into watching a snake and reptile care youtube, I know about snake hemipenes, why is the mention that Pentious might have them taking me out at the kneecaps)

Lute being Too Much for Adam never ceases to make me laugh. Or remember that she definitely deserves to be a main villain, at least for a little while. (Alright her name is Lute because “lieutenant” but for the longest time I thought her name was Lute as in “guitar-like instrument” because Adam WOULD, that weirdo; I choose to believe it’s both tbh.) Lute is someone who is way more a foil for Vaggie than anyone else right now, and the absolute struggle in her future is making me excited. ALL ABOARD THE STRUGGLE BUS, LUTE.

I’m sorry I just paused to make another note of something but it’s flown OUT OF MY ENTIRE HEAD because I just realized HUSK AND ANGEL ARE BOTH CRACKING THEIR KNUCKLES AT THE SAME TIME AS THE EXORCISTS APPROACH. WHAT WAS I SAYING??

Right. Vaggie. Got her new wings, and it’s interesting to me that she immediately hides them. Even more interesting to me that she CAN immediately hide them; none of the angels ever seem to, if they even can. That seems a little more…demonic in nature. Because Lucifer certainly can. Sera and Emily change their forms slightly, but the wings stay out at all times (mainly bc it seems Heaven is specifically formed around being able to get around with them on, especially the courtroom). Just one more way that Vaggie is embracing her new life, I suppose.

And here come the Vees, safe in whatever bunker they’ve got, and once again I can’t stress enough how Vox seems to be the only one with any interest in the proceedings. The other two are treating it like Vox dragged them to a sports event that he’s super into and they’re just along for moral support at best. The utter boredom of it all is something I can’t fathom. But I’ll try: this means nothing to them. The Hotel means nothing. The Extermination means nothing because they can just hide from it while the rest of Hell gets slaughtered. They’re cold-blooded ruthless manipulators who might be about to give Lucifer a run for his money if they aren’t stopped. I look forward to season 2 very much. Because on a grand scale, the Vees mean NOTHING. Their games are PETTY SQUABBLES. They don’t rank on the cosmic horror scale because the fight is so much bigger than they are. But they can sure throw wrenches into things!

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO THE PRODUCT OF MY MANY THEORIES ABOUT OVERLORD MECHANICS AND ALASTOR SPECIFICALLY: the shield moment. They seem to be expecting it to happen, so Alastor knew he could do it, but it’s my firm belief that he couldn’t until he made the deal with Charlie. He figured out that he can get powerups just from making deals themselves, or else has been doing it better than anyone else if it’s a known thing, and Charlie isn’t a slouch in the power department. So that’s my theory: Alastor is only able to go toe-to-toe with Adam at all because he’s borrowing a little taste of Charlie’s power from their deal. He’s already plenty powerful, and maybe he could do the shield the whole time, but I do think the deal with Charlie was made at a very opportune time, and Alastor probably only agreed to take on Adam solo because of his overconfidence in himself now boosted with having some of Charlie’s power. I only really have a gut feeling to provide as a source for this, because the only one who proves up to facing Adam is Lucifer; Alastor made a good call, possibly recruiting more of Charlie’s power more directly in a deal when he did, but Charlie isn’t a match for Adam, either, so Alastor very much couldn’t be. He has the speed and the skill to definitely give Adam a bad time, but he can’t withstand the power. Charlie doesn’t have the skill, but she could have the power in time. Lucifer…well, he’s an unfair powerhouse, deus ex machina in a top hat and resolving daddy issues, and we love that for him.

Anyway. Shield. Angels finding out in a very nasty way they can be killed. Adam being his usual misogynistic self. And then Adam deciding he’s over it and obliterating the shield in one punch.

I get the feeling that Adam really doesn’t do much during Exterminations beyond laugh and make tasteless jokes while occasionally smiting demons that get too close or look fun to squash. Because he just effortlessly whips out these shows of power that nobody seems to be able to account for, which makes me think it’s because nobody has ever seen Adam actually try and fight in earnest before. Following the theme of the show, they’re hopelessly outmatched (outgunned outmanned outnumbered outplanned I’M SORRY), and manage to pull a win out of their asses anyway thanks to the power of Love (and pulling Lucifer out of his millennia-long funk for at least half an hour), which Adam very clearly doesn’t have. But. Who needs Love when you have whatever terrifying powerup the higher-ups saw fit to give him?

“A mortal soul is no match for me, edgelord.” Okay. Okay. Here we go. So…Adam isn’t a mortal soul…despite being the first human soul in Heaven. He wields divine light and has a divine axe. Lilith isn’t a mortal soul despite being the original first woman, rules as Queen of Hell when she’s at home, and has an inspiring voice and song to grow Hell’s strength. It’s safe to say that someone else granted them these powerups (Sera/the Seraphim for Adam, Lucifer for Lilith). So…let’s look at Alastor again, just for a sec. He demonstrates ability far beyond what we see any other Overlord or demon do, seems to know his way around deals and loopholes like the slipperiest lawyer in existence, and his rise to infamy was meteoric. It’s a popular theory that instead of Lilith, the person holding the other end of Alastor’s leash is Roo, especially given the repeating eye motif that he has in his magic, but I wonder if Roo isn’t giving him a power-up already, and the deal where he’s caged is something else. If the two are separate in some way.

“You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate.” Now THAT…throws a very different spin on the theory, actually. If Adam and Lilith weren’t gifted their abilities, but took them, Lilith drawing from Hell and Adam from Heaven. If nobody gave either of them anything at all, but they found ways to elevate themselves. Or…made deals, perhaps? Either way, Alastor seems well on his way to becoming something Else just like they are, but. He isn’t there yet. Hence the need to make a deal with Charlie and stick close to her and her budding power. Hence why Alastor couldn’t take on Adam yet.

Y’know. I haven’t mentioned or noticed Alastor’s shadow much. But it certainly is a huge part of his power. Just like the microphone staff, which is broken now oh nooooo. But back to the shadow—the combination of the shadow plus the voodoo aspect of Alastor’s powers are a bit too much Dr. Facilier for comfort (which is hysterical given that Keith David is right there voicing Husk), but the tentacles add a nice touch. Although all of that, plus the deer aspect, plus the possible cannibalism and serial murder, plus the radio—does it seem like Alastor might have too much going on? Because I’m wondering how much of that is his, and how much is alternative powerups from other deals. He made his name as an Overlord killer, after all—and as an Overlord himself, owning souls grants power. I’m certain that whatever supply he’s high on, it’s the only way he was able to survive being first hit by pure holy light, and then cut down by Adam like that. So it must be working for him—but not well enough.

There is something so comedically horrific about how Adam just…vaporizes Pentious, war machine and all. It seems to be a pretty effective death; however, I do have to wonder how it would affect Pentious’ ability to be redeemed if it was angelic steel that got him instead of holy light. Either way, confirming that there are multiple ways to kill demons, angelic steel is just the most straightforward, and wow he’s just wholly gone now, huh? Not even any debris or a body or anything.

(Putting this theory up while I’m thinking about it: concerning Charlie’s deal with Alastor, and specifically the “one favor where you harm no one” bit, a part of me thinks that Alastor is going to have Charlie stand aside and let him kill someone…just to prove that they can be redeemed. Whether that’s Alastor’s purpose or not in killing is up for constant debate in my head, but I do want it made very clear that Pentious wasn’t redeemed until he died. Demonic redemption might require double death; maybe the souls are re-judged on double death anyway. Who knows??)

HEY, BLOOD THEORY CONFIRMATION: Dazzle (gosh I hope I got that right) bleeds black. He’s Hellborn. There IS differentiation in blood colors given in this show. NICE.

So why the ENTIRE HELL does Charlie bleed RED?

It’s subtle, it could be written off as her horns, but it’s there in certain shots; she’s bleeding from the head after Adam throws her into the hotel sign, definite drips that aren’t her horns at all, or bloodstains from possibly being close to cannibals who died. And it’s red. Why is it red? Why does she bleed red like sinners, Viv? WHY DOES SHE BLEED RED, VIV?

Because here’s the only thing I can think of: that means one, she DOES have a soul (an immortal soul, like Adam says, mechanic not metaphor), because two, she might be something close to half-human, or at least half-sinner, or half-whatever the actual hell Lilith is. This makes her powerful, but also incredibly vulnerable, just the same as sinners are with their souls. And it puts her more on their level; she isn’t some above-it-all royal that’s something entire Other from the sinners, she’s sort of partially one of them. (Not to say she doesn’t still have her royal privilege and so forth and et cetera let’s move on.)

Alright Vaggie hiding away her wings is kinda worth it for the badass blink-and-you-miss-it tearing open of the back of her battle uniform to let them out. And, uh, can we give Jessica Vosk ALL the credit for that absolutely unhinged Lute scream as she TEARS HER OWN ARM OFF??

(Also, to the legend who wrote the Lute’s Arm/Vaggie’s Eye fanfic: I didn’t read it but I think of you often.)

But: Lute and Vaggie setting up to be tragic narrative foils, most likely complete with Lute spiraling as she completely loses any sense of self or direction while her world crumbles around her and Vaggie going from suspicious to pitying. When the truth about how fucked up the Exorcist legion is comes out, I’m sure there’s going to be signs about how they were both hurt pretty deeply by being a part of it but handled it differently, Vaggie by being lucky enough to find a support group after she was kicked out and Lute struggling with carrying on the legacy alone. Also, calling it now, if Emily doesn’t Fall, then Lute is definitely gonna try to kill her at least once. Anyway. That’s probably super endgame stuff.

LUCIFER, DEUS EX MACHINA! Or. Uh. Diaboli ex machina? Eh who cares LOOK AT HIM GO. It’s such a fun fight, watching him zing around Adam and shapeshift and be all creative and zany. Right up until it matters—and then he’s all business. Fiery, deadly business. Also how did he get his voice to do that (the “you’re in my house now, bitch” part, not the “go home” part). But it’s such an important moment for witnessing that dreamer that Heaven cast out, the creative powerhouse that just wanted to make something nice, something meaningful. Adam can’t fight him because Lucifer isn’t really fighting. He’s playing. Right up until Adam threatens Charlie again. She’s the only thing worth fighting for to him, after all.

So very interesting to me too that when Lucifer is in his demon aspect, the snake on his hat becomes a halo. (Also, unlike the other Sins, he doesn’t get any taller. Bless him.)

Now. Let’s address the elephant—or, rather, the very small cyclops—in the room. Niffty killing Adam. It’s certainly a twist. It’s the biggest, weirdest twist I’ve ever seen. It kind of doesn’t make any narrative sense. It boggles the brain that Niffty, the littlest demon in the group, the bit side character, gets to kill Adam, the big bad of the season. But in a way…that’s kind of perfect? It DOESN’T make any narrative sense. LIFE doesn’t make narrative sense. Not everything is going to fit into a perfect metaphor. Although, if I tried…Niffty took out the biggest cockroach of all :P Alright I’ll be honest I don’t know. I’d love to read other people’s thoughts on why it happened like this. Because it’s not like I don’t enjoy it as a narrative choice, it’s just so jarring and my English major brain hasn’t made it make sense yet.

Such an unexpectedly tender character moment to have Adam’s dying smile be for Lute, though. Yeah, she’s gonna be REAL hecked up next season. And not because she’s way more homicidal than Adam somehow.

(Also, back to my blood color theory: cannibals bleed red. They’re sinners. Stop the debates, it’s canon and I can prove it now. Kinda. Still got the whole. Charlie bleeding red thing throwing a wrench into my everything.)

And we see some of the littler pieces to finish off a lot of my theories—the Vees’ ultimate plan to seize control of Hell going off pretty well despite the Hotel surviving (not that it mattered to them either way, the plan was to throw the other Overlords off their game and take their stuff, not mess with the Hotel at all); Husk and Niffty going about their days but looking surprised with the rest of the group when Alastor shows back up (and still uncertain if they knew he was alive or dead and if they even would know if he died tbh). But let’s take one last little peep at Alastor before I close the book on him for now.

Y’know. They really do make it unclear if it’s Alastor Altruist, or Alastor, altruist.

But more than that, it’s the first time he acknowledges his deal and the fact that his powers are limited—which is why he might use non-soul deals with others anyway, to get around his soul deal constraints. And if he’s LIMITED and he went to bat against Adam and held his own pretty well, maybe I need to rethink my own assessment of his strength and how he’s leashed (unless, of course, the theories are right and it’s a deal with Lilith keeping him constrained from using his powers except in her service, so he really was at maximum potential in that fight and just isn’t strong enough yet). But he’s confident (as he always is) that once he’s out of his deal, he’ll be where he wants to be, pulling strings and manipulating fates and probably strong enough to replace Lucifer (and wouldn’t it be twisty if Alastor used his favor with Charlie to let him kill and replace her father as King of Hell? Wild. Anyway—). But until then, he’s showing back up at the hotel after it’s been rebuilt, sans staff, and while fanon has latched onto the idea of his wound containing angelic essence that’s slowly killing him…I’m not so sure if canon is going to go that route, but his missing staff is probably way more significant than the wound, and I’m curious about that.

Now forget about these losers, let’s go check out the last two scenes and put proper bows on my last two theories.

First: Pentious, redeemed, showing up before the Seraphim and NOT at the heavenly gates. Convenient for keeping something this reality-shaking a secret! I still don’t know that I’m fully convinced that Sir Pentious is truly the first sinner to be redeemed; I still kinda think he’s just the first one that Sera and Emily noticed, but I’m looking forward to exploring that mystery more next season. Maybe with Molly as an actual character this time? The folks who keep drawing and writing about Molly and Pentious being friends, you’re legends, keep doing that; it will sustain me if I am disappointed.

Second: Lute and Lilith on a beach in Heaven, presumably. Alright, wording: “Adam is dead. Your deal is done, and I’m in charge now.” There is. So much to unpack in that. Starting with “Your deal is done.” Lilith…made a deal…with Adam? Adam made a deal with Lilith? Or Lilith made a deal with someone else, like the Seraphim, and Adam happened to be a condition? The most likely explanation is that Lilith made a deal with Adam, but for what and why remains to be seen. It sure looks like Lilith made a deal with her ex-husband to relax in Heaven and let Hell rot, but things really aren’t as they seem in this show; appearances are constantly deceiving. I’ve heard the popular theory that Lilith and Eve share a body (very, very weird implications if so), and it’s shown in some family portraits that Lilith can banish her horns just like Lucifer can his wings (or Charlie her horns, for that matter), but not showing Lilith’s eyes, keeping her shrouded in mystery—is that to conceal her identity as swapping between herself and Eve, is it just to build mystery about Lilith herself (who again is NEVER HECKING MENTIONED EXCEPT BY CHARLIE AND ADAM), is it for lolz? What the heck could Lilith and Adam have possibly traded for, anyway? Letting Lilith crash in Heaven in exchange for…what? The Exterminations have surely been going on for longer than seven years. Lilith could be imprisoned, but Lute’s behavior and language doesn’t convey that at all. Like, AT ALL.

Additional question: does Lute even have the power to take Adam’s place? Or will she get the power as she assumes command?

Anyway, moving forward in this scene, Lute later says “Your brat is threatening the very foundation of Heaven.” Interesting, showing that Lute is just as fearful of a Hellish uprising as Sera is and what that means for the safety of Heaven and the souls they’re protecting. “And if you want to stay here” And if you want to stay here. IF YOU WANT TO STAY HERE. Lilith is definitely there because she wants to be. Or at least Lute believes she wants to be. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if both Lilith and Lucifer are exhausted with their existences, but it is such a contradictory thing, for Charlie to believe so wholeheartedly that her mother is off doing something important, that she loved Hell and cared about its denizens, only to show Lilith on a beach needing to be threatened with leaving it to get up and deal with Charlie. But, then, Charlie also believed her father didn’t want to see her and didn’t really care about her. It’s possible that Charlie is wrong about her mother. But we have so few clues and it’s easy to assume the worst when this is how Lilith is truly introduced.

One thing I keep noticing and keep forgetting to go back and check for: Lilith’s necklace. There really aren’t very many details that don’t have some sort of thought put into them, and her necklace while laying out on a beach is…eye-catching, at least to me. It’s simple, but I just wonder if it’s present in any of the portraits, because I keep forgetting to check for it. Maybe if I write it down, I’ll remember to keep an eye out next time.

I’m sure that there are theories and threads that I didn’t finish, because I have word-vomited something like 24,000 words of theories and reactions and maddened questions; now that I have it all out of my system, maybe I’ll make organized, reasonable posts where the theories are actually separated and presented as cohesive wholes rather than themes carrying across episodes. But I have to get through my Helluva Boss analyses first!

Thanks so much for sticking around and sticking it out, and if any of this made sense, then I’m glad! Later!

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

You mentioned that you didn't like GW's treatment of certain individual Primarchs. What specifically didn't you like about that treatment?

Mortarion: Waiting until the last minute to consider giving him a consistent personality or set of motivations; using him as a cardboard villain while ignoring his personality/motivations; having everyone he fights break the laws of physics and the settings just so that every victory he has turns into a humiliating defeat.

Fulgrim: Constantly making "haha lol he gay and/or have sex too much what a slut amirite" jokes/stories about him (apparently this is partially a Graham McNeill problem??? He doesn't like Fulgrim or the Emperor's Children so he shits on him whenever he has a chance).

Alpharius/Omegon: claiming that everything they say is a lie and everything they do is a trick so I feel like they're boring be ause they're gimmicks instead of characters, but I get the impression this is the way their fans like it, so IDK.

Angron: Coming up with a backstory for him with a lot of plot holes they don't fill in a satisfying way. Why doesn't the Emperor save his gladiator brothers and sisters? "Well, he's a dick (when it's convenient to us for him to be one)." But that's such an onviously stupid thing to do? "[Shrug]" "Why don't they use medicine to remove the Butcher's Nails?" "Can't be cured by medicine." What about his literally divine father doing it instead? "Uh...he didn't think it was a good idea." Not doing that seems stupid, he's wasting a primarch and an entire legion by letting them go insane. "Well, he just didn't!" Why did he let Angron put nails in his sons' heads? "Well, he sent Leman to do that instead." Right, and when Leman decided not to stop Angron, why didn't he intervene instead? "..."

Angron's whole story is a bunch of characters, mostly the Emperor, deliberately acting stupid. Fans have had to fill the gaps ("an intelligent, de-Nailed Angron would have rebelled against E sooner." Which I think is true, and interesting! Much more interesting than what we got, which is the problem.

And finally, in general...failing to acknowledge the...well, the problems with declaring the entire Heresy to be solely the fault of the rebellious primarchs rather than the fault of the gods manipulating all of the primarchs. As fans have pointed out, all of the primarchs with shitty childhoods rebelled. And the personality problems that led them to rebel were all trauma responses to the suffering they went through. And yet, this is treated as if they were responsible for the way they reacted to the worlds they grew up in. Angron, Konrad, Mortarion, and Lorgar were survivors. And rather than giving them the help they needed to heal, the Emperor and the Gods of Chaos fucking used them, and then blamed them for the things that happened to them, making it seem as if the Primarchs didn't all have reasonable, logical reasons for the things they did and the sides they took. The continual demonization of them bothers me. The traitors did bad things. I'm not debating that. And they are responsible for their actions. But fans and GW try to make it sound like they were also responsible for the emotional responses they had to the world around them, and I don't think that's true. Most people cannot control their emotional responses to things, certainly not people with very little emotional resilience.

Besides, with how grimdark the setting is, and how the Emperor is portrayed, and the way the Emperor and Malcador talk about the primarchs during the Siege?

If they hadn't rebelled, I am 100% convinced that Angron, Konrad, and Mortarion, and probably Lorgar too, would have been executed at the end of the Great Crusade. "Put down" would probably be the phrase used, as if they were animals, as if they were expendable, as if what happened to them was regrettable but ultimately the Right Thing to Do. Some of the traitors were fighting for their fucking lives, and in the case of Lorgar and Mortarion, the lives of their sons as well.

And I'm upset that more people don't understand that, including the writers, who will write a beautiful story about a character and the hardships they endured and all the good things they did and accomplished and felt in spite of themselves in one story, only for the same author to turn around in the next book and make the character look like an unjustifiable monster. (I will keep that last bit vague, because the author I'm vaguing actually has a Tumblr account.)

So yeah. Hopefully that answers your question. Characters I like are written to be unlikeable and framed as monsters...the usual.

[mask131]

Green spring: Midsummer Night’s fairies (2)

PUCK AND OBERON before Shakespeare

Category: European folklore

This is a follow-up post to my previous Green spring entry, about Shakespeare’s famous trio of fairies – Puck, Oberon and Titania from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. While I previously briefly looked at them in the context of their theater play (though I just stayed at the surface-level of things, I invite you to search on your own for all those Shakespearian complexities), with this post I want to look at their actual folkloric and legendary origins – because Shakespeare didn’t actually invent those fairy characters out of nowhere!

Well… Except maybe for Titania. There are several fairy queens in British folklore, but Shakespeare doesn’t seem to have taken inspiration from any of them when creating Titania – as I said before she seems to have been mostly based on the nymphs and goddesses of Greco-Roman myths, with an emphasis on Ovid’s Metamorphoses. But for Oberon and Puck, that’s a whole other story…

1) Puck outside of Shakespeare

Puck or Robin Goodfellow is actually a pretty well established character of British folklore – he was mentioned in several literary works and theater plays well before Shakespeare. A pretty well-established character… or a pretty well established species. For you see, while there are many accounts of a supernatural entity called “Puck” or “Robin Goodfellow”, sometimes there are also records of several of them existing at the same time, to the point people talked about the “Robingoofellowes”. In fact, remember how in Shakespeare’s another name for Puck was “Hobgoblin”? Well it was the case in folklore too: the Robingoodfellowes were treated as identical to the Hobgoblins as a race – or to the Hobgoblin as a unique character.

Let’s talk a bit etymology. Hobgoblin. What’s the difference with a regular goblin? Well… there are debates about the “Hob”. “Hob” has been attested in the midlands of England (the Anglo-Scottish border) as a term designated all supernatural beings, and treated as a synonym of “elf” – so a “hobgoblin” would be an “elf-goblin”. Other point out that “Hob” might be a deformation of “Rob”, aka… short for “Robin”, of “Robin Goodfellow”. And what about this “Goodfellow” part? Well it certainly wasn’t because he was such a good fellow… The common explanation is that it is a naming convention similar to how fairies and elves were called “the fair folk” or the “good neighbors” by the people of England – it is an ancient technique according to which when a being is dangerous or poses some kind of threat, you need to give them flattering and nice name in hope of avoiding their wrath or not offending them. As such, the Robin would have been called a “Goodfellow” because people feared his mischief and wanted to please him;

Because that’s one of the main characteristics of the Puck: his mischievousness. A Robin Goodfellow was considered a kind of “spirit” (supernatural being), but more “familiar and domestical than the others” – it means that Robin Goodfellows tended, for unknown reasons, to settle into one given place, usually a human building, and treat it as if it was their own house, refusing to leave. This position makes him eerily similar to other “domestic fairies” and “familiar spirits” of the local lands: the brownies of Scotland, for example, with whom the “hobgoblins” were often confused. After all, both were described as small, hairy men that lived in human’s houses, and who did all sorts of chores around the place when the human inhabitants were asleep (dusting, ironing, needle-working, butter-churning…), often in exchange for some food left for them (usually white bread and milk left by the housewives) ; and just like brownies, hobgoblins were said to be banished from a house if someone offered them clothes (for some it is because with new clothes, they will be too proud to work, others say it is because they will get offended by this gift). But the main difference was that, while the brownies are described as peaceful entities all about serving mankind, as I said the hobgoblins were pranksters primarily concerned with joking and goofing around – their duties to the house or the people was just a secondary trait of theirs. That, and how much… let’s say “moody” the pucks are – on top of the “offering clothes” above, it is said that if you displeased a puck in any way, he would promptly undo all of the chores and small work he did around the house through various tricks ; or that if you neglected him, he would start stealing around, claiming that the things in the house would make as a due payment for his services.

The main signs of the presence of a “Robin Goodfellow” in your house are strange and unusual noises: often hidden or invisible, but sometimes in plain sight, the Goodfellowes like to mock people out loud or imitate them ; they also like to produce music that seemingly comes from nowhere, and to produce all sorts of loud, unusual or annoying noises (such as bells ringing) ; and if you call them, they will answer you. However, despite being able to spook and frighten people, the Puck is constantly said to actually be harmless to people (or to cause very little damage). A puck is usually just a laughing and merry spirit who only does “jests and gawdes”, and in fact can communicate and appear so regularly to the owner of a house that said owner will lose any fear of it and get used to its presence.

Outside of the “Robin Goodfellow”, the most famous of all hobgoblins, other renowned mischief-makers included Robin Roundcap of Spaldington Hall, Blue Burches of Blackdown Hills, or Billy Blind talked about in the ballads of F. J. Child.

2) Oberon before Shakespeare

Oberon is an hybrid case. He wasn’t entirely invented by Shakespeare, like Titania, but he also simply wasn’t plucked out of local folklore, like Puck. What Shakespeare did was take a renowned literary figure, and reshape/rewrite it to become his king of the fairies everybody knows today.

And to look back at Oberon’s evolution, I will invite you to go back to my “Cold Winter” series, and take a look there at my post about Alberich. Remember Alberich? The magical Germanic dwarf that guarded the treasure of the Nibelungen in Siegfried’s story? Well he is the start of Oberon’s story. In fact, if I haven’t said it before, Alberich very names points out what he will become in the future, since it means “ruler of the elves” (alb, elf ; rih, ruler or king ; alb-rih, alberich).  

But if you know your Germanic/Norse texts, you’ll think that Alberich is a far cry from Shakespeare’s Oberon. Where is the missing link? Well the missing link is the country between England and Germany: France. In the 13th century, a “chanson de geste” (basically a poem about the exploits of a great figure) was written, called “Les Prouesses et faitz du noble Huon de Bordeaux” (The prowess and acts of the noble Huon of Bordeaux). It tells the story of Huon, the son of the count of Bordeaux, who ended up murdering in self-defense the royal prince and to obtain a pardon, must undergo a redeeming pilgrimage/quest. As he is leaving, Huon travels a forest called Monmur where an elf is said to dwell, and Huon was warned before not to talk to it. They encounter a child-sized, but very handsome man, and Huon’s companion recognizes the elf – he tells Huon to flee without talking to it, to avoid falling into some sort of supernatural trap. But no matter how much they try to outrun him, the pretty-looking dwarf keeps following them, trying to start a conversation, and ultimately Huon proves himself too polite and decides to stop to chat a bit with the elf, who as it turns out is named Auberon (a deformation of Alberich). In exchange for this talk, Auberon offers Huon and his companion to eat and sleep at his dwelling – and he turns out to be a pretty powerful fairy of royal blood! For you see, as it is revealed, Aubéron is the half-human son of Julius Caesar, and the half-fairy son of Morgue, queen of the fairies of Avalon (note: Morgue is a local French deformation of the name “Morgan”, and the recurring character of the Morgue fairy is a literary cousin or double of the Arthurian Morgan). We also learn that he got his small size due to a curse that an angry fairy threw at him upon his christening (yep, just like in the fairy tales), but the same fairy later came to regret what she did, and added a blessing: that he would be more beautiful than any mortal man, and the most virtuous of all the Earth-dwellers.

Auberon, who now considers Huon his friend, offers him two gifts for his upcoming Babylonian adventures. One is a magical cup (well… a hanap to be precise) made of gold, that is always empty when a wicked man holds it, but always full for those with a pure heart. The other is an ivory horn – if Huon blows into it, Auberon will arrive with his invincible magical army to help him. BUT… in exchange Huon must do two promises. One, to only blow in the horn in case of extreme need. Two, to never lie. If Huon breaks one of these promises, he will lose Auberon’s friendship. Despite that, Huon breaks the promise soon after leaving Auberon’s domain – out of vanity, he blows into the horn, and when Auberon arrives he scolds heavily Huon. But in front of Huon’s sincere excuses, Auberon agrees to forgive him. He also throws in a warning about a nearby town Huon shouldn’t go into, because its king kills all the Christians that enter it ; he adds a prophecy announcing that Huon will have many trials in his quest, and that he won’t be able to succeed in his journey without suffering, before disappearing. Huon still however gets entangled with the Christians-killing king, and as he is trapped in his city he uses the ivory horn again – Auberon arrives and with his army helps defeat the wicked king. But he then warns Huon of not entering a second city, where dwells a giant called Prideful – this warning is sincere, as the fairy-king explains that even with all of his mighty powers, he could not defeat the giant. Huon will however manage such a feat.

Much later in the story, Huon will lie in the city of Babylon, where he is threatened with being put to death if he is Christian – since he pretends to be pagan, Auberon withdraws his friendship, and the next time Huon blows in the horn Auberon refuses to answer. After many more trials, including imprisonment and torture, Huon is chosen by the emir of Babylon as his champion to fight a giant called Agrapart, the brother of the deceased Prideful who is seeking revenge. Upon entering this fight, Huon suddenly regains the friendship of Auberon and his magical items work again – and after more fights, Auberon appears to Huon and warns him as he is about to go home with a lovely girl he fell in love with. He warns Huon to not have sex with the girl before their union has been blessed by the Pope himself in Rome – but, as usual, Huon disobeys, has sex with her on the ship crossing the sea, which causes a huge storm and a shipwreck… Anyway I won’t recap the entire epic, because it is long and convoluted, but basically there’s this cycle of Huon calling Auberon whenever he needs help, and Auberon constantly warning Huon about future trials but the knight refusing to listen to the elf’s prophecies. In fact, at one point Huon will reject Auberon because he deems him the “cause” of all of his misfortunes, blaming the dwarf’s prophecies rather than his own refusal to listen to the warnings he has been constantly given… But all on his own, Huon proves that he can get into a very big mess because upon returning home, he loses the precious objects he had gained in his quest to obtain his pardon, a conspiracy is organized to make him look like a liar in front of the king, and he is about to get sentenced to death despite his friends’ attempts at saving him… Auberon, crying for the fate of the one he thinks of as his protégé, ultimately decides to interfere himself – he appears out of nowhere in the royal court where Huon’s trial is organized (which terrifies everybody), he uses his magical gold hanap to prove who is virtuous and who is wicked, he scolds heavily the king for being fooled by the conspiracy, he uses magic to have the stolen objects of Huon appear in front of everyone, and when the real culprits behind the whole thing are found… Auberon has gallows appear by magic to hang them on the spot. In the end, Auberon even goes as far as offer his kingdom to Huon and his new wife – so that they may rule over it.

This French epic got a huge success, so big it had several sequels and prequels written about it (such as one detailing the adventures of Huon as the “King of Féerie”), and due to the importance of the character of Auberon (after all he actually opens the novel, is a key character and even solves the climax), he also got his own side-novel detailing his own adventures and romances outside of his involvement with Huon. It is very probably that Shakespeare learned of the character of Auberon through the English translation of the original poem, “Huon of Burdeuxe”, by John Bourchier in 1540.

- - - - -

One last origin story should be talked about… The one of Puck. Yes, I have already written about Puck outside of Shakespeare… But of the English Puck! You see, the English “Puck” is part of a wider family of beings, all local variations of a same creature. “Puki” in Sweden and Iceland, “pwca” in Welsh, “pouque” in the Channel Islands, “bucca” in Cornland… And “puca” in Ireland. And “puca”, the Irish puck, offers a fascinating variation of the puck myth.

[Note: The proper Irish term is púca, plural púcai, which is a word also used as a synonym for “ghost” in Irish, while “puca” without the accent is the Old English term, that was used as a synonym of “goblin” ; but given I can’t type easily the accent, I’ll write “puca” from now on].

So, what is the “puca”? Well… it is a fairy, a spirit, a creature that can mean either good or bad fortune. Puca were renowned shapeshifters, able to take on a lot of appearances: they could become a horse, a goat, a cat, a dog, a hare, a rabbit, a raven, a fox, a wolf… But they usually always take the shape of a black animal, and sometimes can be betrayed by other unusual fact (they can appear as wild colts, but wrapped in chains, or as beautiful and sleek horses, but with glowing golden eyes). Interestingly, the most difficult shape they can take is apparently the one of a human – because whenever they appear as a man, they are always betrayed by other animal ears or an animal tail.

On their “bad fortune” side, the pucai are terrifying and menacing entity, whose intentions range from mischievousness to pure wickedness. As horses, they encourage humans to ride on their back, only to take them on a wild and terrifying journey before dropping them back at the place he met them. If they meet an unwary traveler on the road, they will confuse and spook them, if not outright harm them. Children were also warned to not eat overripe blackberries, because a puca could have slipped inside the berry and might be trying to enter the child’s body. Found in isolated and rural areas, some stories even turn the pucai into horrific monsters: carnivorous beasts that hunt down humans to eat them, or vampire-like entities sucking the blood of their victims.

In its “good fortune” side, the puca was said to often appear to warn or prevent an accident, or an encounter with a malevolent spirit/fairy. They could give good advice to the people they met, or guide them away from harm. It was also said that when a puca tried to trick you into a ride, you could control and subdue the creature by wearing sharp spurs – to the point that pucai were said to never try to prank or harm someone who wore sharp spurs (or the “sharp things” as the pucai call them). Only one man was known to have used a puca as a ride (or THE puca, since it is unclear if there is only one or several of them) – Brian Boru, one of the high kings of Ireland, who stole three hairs from a puca’s tail, used them to create a magical bridle, and used it to subdue a puca into becoming his regular horse.

The Puca is intensely associated with the Celtic festival known as Samhain (31st of October), and the following “November Day” (1st of November). Samhain was the last possible time for farmers to bring their crops inside their farms – anything left out in the fields beyond Samhain was “puka”, aka “fairy-blasted”, aka inedible. On the 1st of November, it is said you can meet the puca on the hills or mountains, and if you ask for it he will give you prophecies and warnings. On the same day, the puca is said to spit or defecate on all the wild fruits he encounters, making them dangerously inedible ; but it is also thought that the 1st of November being the “puca’s day”, it is the only day on which he will be civilized and polite towards human beings. Some farmers also like to leave a small part of their harvest out for the puca during the Samhain festival – especially in County Down, where the puca would appear as a disfigured goblin to demand his due if his share of the harvest wasn’t given. EDIT: I was also recently informed of other works involving Oberon and showing his evolution, so I will list them here for now. Purcell's "The Fairy Queen" (not to be confused with Spenser's The Fairy Queen) ; Greene's "James IV" and Christoph Martin Wieland's "Oberon"

[ectonurites]

For me an industry plant is "someone who may or may not be that talented, but they’re still pushed to stardom because they have an entire company marketing/investing in them" and using this term on a fictional character is kinda tricky, but I do think it can be applied to Tim, since *on average* DC's writers/editors tend to showcase him in a more positive light compared to other Batman-related characters due to their bias towards him.

Personally speaking, I have seen way more writers claiming that Tim is their favorite Robin compared to the other Robins (although Dick is a close 2nd) Which explains why they're desperately trying to make his whole thing be "he's the best Robin!" by always making him appear smarter/more capable than the others and why he is rarely treated in a negative manners by the narrative compared to lets say Damian or Cassandra, who had awful storylines with the goal of demonizing them for no other reason than "someone in a high-position in the company hates their guts."

Well I mean, if we're using different definitions for the same term then obviously we're gonna come to different conclusions about it sgdfdhgfjhg

Like when I hear 'industry plant' I can not separate that from the idea that their connection to the larger entity backing them is kept secret/downplayed—that just feels like way too large a piece of what the term actually means to be tossed aside. Every one of the multiple definitions for the term that I came across while searching includes something about that aspect of it. To include a few:

Noun. industry plant (plural industry plants) (slang, derogatory) A music artist associated with a label but appearing as if they are independent and self-made. (slang, derogatory, by extension) A music artist whose popularity is perceived to be due to marketing efforts alone. (x)

An industry plant is an artist who has Major/Indie Label backing their movement but presents themselves as a "home grown start up" label to create a pseudo organic following. They act as if things are miraculously happening for them based on their talent (via blog coverage, media coverage, mtv playing their vids, etc.) The reality is a low risk/high reward situation for labels looking to build the next "new star" (x)

The term ‘industry plant’ is a musical term derived colloquially from hip-hop which is understood to mean, “an artist who has a major/indie label backing their movement but presents themselves as a ‘homegrown start-up’ to create the illusion of an organic following”. (x)

Even in the early days, there was some debate about how best to define an Industry Plant. On a fundamental level, it is an artist whose development takes place away from the public eye. While the major label downplays its influence, it quietly hones the artist into a star. While their rise to fame might appear to be organic, it’s actually been meticulously planned by a major label. As a result, Industry Plants are usually regarded as lacking authenticity. In the eyes of genuinely DIY artists, the Plant is merely a puppet whose success results from someone high up in the music industry ensuring they have the best connections. The key element here is deception. (x)

So the lack of an attempt to deceive/downplay a connection to a bigger entity/character is what makes me really really strongly disagree with the term applying to him.

I also think there’s something else to address in what you’re saying, which is maybe another reason we disagree here:

I think it's totally fair to say that nowadays there is a bias from people at DC towards Tim which makes them prioritize him over others. I'm 100% in agreement with you on that part, and it's annoying the way they try to push him as the 'best Robin' and downplay other characters like Damian and Cass.

But that became a problem after Tim had already become popular.

Like, he certainly had a dip in popularity for a while (largely bc of the New 52) and one could argue there’s been a sort of artificial push to bring him back to popularity in recent times… but when we're talking about the idea of him as an 'industry plant' I think we need to be looking specifically at when he first rose to popularity like 30 years ago. Because otherwise we’re not talking about how/why he became popular in the first place, we’re talking about the effects (and ups and downs) of his existing popularity.

When Tim was introduced and first rose to popularity in the late 80’s/early 90's.... that was years before Damian or Cass as we know them (i say this because technically the baby that would become Damian existed but like, that is not the same character) were introduced to even compare to the way you’re talking about.

At the time he was created, DC wanted to fill the Robin/‘Teen Bat Character’ spot after readers voted to kill Jason because they didn’t like him… Thus, Tim was designed to fit a specific niche—DC knew there would be an audience for a new Batman sidekick as long as they learned from what happened to Jason and created a character different from him that would be better received. Back then it's not that he was 'the young Batman character that people internally decided they like more than the others and thus push more' it's that he was 'the young Batman character'.

He had the opportunity to become a popular character because of being Batman’s new sidekick and managing to be more well received than Jason. Like, that's really it. But that was totally out in the open—he was by Batman's side before he got his chance to go solo, and promo for his solo made a point of bringing up Batman and featuring him. The connection to Batman was always incredibly clear and highlighted.

When we're trying to apply these slang terms from other industries to comics, Tim's situation is just far closer to 'nepo baby' than anything else. He had the opportunity to become popular because he was designed to fill a specific niche connected to an already popular character.

[nicklloydnow]

“The classical liberal or libertarian emphasis on individual rights can only be transferred to the realm of international relations with great difficulty. One might be tempted to analogize states to individuals. Just as an individual can do whatever he wants until he intrudes on the rights or interests of others, countries should be left alone as long as they mind their own business. But states are often run by leaders who achieve and maintain power by violating the rights of others. Maybe there is a practical or utilitarian case for applying the principle of sovereign equality to a state like North Korea and declaring Kim Jung Un the ultimate representative of the people he imprisons and starves, but there certainly isn’t a straightforward deontological case for it.

In the area of geopolitics, then, I find myself falling back to utilitarianism, and dispensing with talk of rights all together. All states are inherently suspect as moral entities, with some being better or worse than others. And individuals generally have zero control over what policies their governments adopt, making the doctrine of collective responsibility just as pernicious here as it is in the frameworks of wokes and Marxists.

That brings us to the Israeli-Palestinian dispute. Some will talk of the “right” of Israel to defend itself, or the “right” of Palestinian self-determination. But Israel’s right to defend itself means killing a lot of innocent people. And the Palestinian right to self-determination is just a fancy way of saying men with guns telling other people what to do because of where they happen to live, which given the record of Arabs I’m sure they would screw up much more than most other states have.

With utilitarianism, we might at least hope to make some progress, unlike what tends to happen when we engage in endless debates about who has the right to do what.

(…)

What seems certain is that there is no decent future for the people of the territory as long as the current leadership is in charge. Hamas will not only continually attack Israel, but keep its own citizens poor, repressed, and subject to reprisals. The question of what to do about this seems like a classic dilemma in which we have to ask ourselves whether we want to inflict short term pain for a greater long term good.

Israel controls the flow of food and electricity into Gaza. It should leverage that, along with air and bombing campaigns, in order to achieve a different kind of government. Kicking many of the Palestinians out and finding new homes for them would probably be the best of all worlds, as no matter how much trouble they might cause in Europe or Egypt, it won’t be as bad as them staying in Gaza. Israel making life so unlivable that they leave, while working with the US to pressure other countries to open up their borders, seems like sound policy. The population of Gaza is 2.5 million. Whatever the outflow is, it should be manageable if it is treated as a global problem. Turkey alone currently hosts 3.7 million refugees.

Anti-war types will make the argument that repression hasn’t worked up to this point. Yet given the power disparity between the two sides, Israel has been remarkably restrained. The 2008-2009 Gaza War, for example, led to 1,000-1,500 combatant and civilian deaths, a tiny fraction of the population. We can analogize this to the struggle against crime in El Salvador, which I’ve previously written about. People for a long time said you can’t just arrest your way out of the problem. Then Bukele came along, went much further than everyone else while ignoring the human rights crowd, and suddenly the murder rate plummeted.

It’s obvious that a real siege of Gaza, where food, medicine, and electricity are cut off indefinitely, would harm a lot of civilians. But it would hopefully build pressure to encourage other countries to let many Palestinians leave. Of those who stayed, the situation would eventually become so dire that something would have to change. Israel would be wise to extract at the very least a demand for recognition before it lifts the siege. Direct governance is probably impossible, but they could eventually perhaps hope for their own Kadyrov, which could in the best case scenario be the first step towards something better down the line once the death cult of Palestinian resistance is extinguished.”

“Top Israeli officials said they intend to retain security control of Gaza for an indefinite period to prevent new militant groups forming once Israel finishes its war with Hamas, but said they have little interest in administering Gaza the way the U.S. sought to govern Iraq two decades ago.

Israeli Foreign Minister Eli Cohen, in his first interview with a foreign media outlet since the start of the war on Oct. 7, said Israel has no desire to impose a civilian administration on Gaza. Once Hamas is toppled, Israel is looking at turning over responsibility for governing the territory to an international coalition, including the U.S., the European Union and Muslim majority countries, or to local political leaders in Gaza, he said.

“We don’t want to govern Gaza. We don’t want to run their lives. We just want to protect our people,” Cohen said.

That may include keeping soldiers in Gaza if Israel deems it necessary, along with tight controls on what goes in and out. “We will need to verify that weapons will not enter Gaza from any border,” including from Egypt, “and we’ll retain our right to work against any terrorists who want to build bases there,” he said.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu expressed the same sentiment. “I think Israel for an indefinite period will have the overall security responsibility, because we’ve seen what happens when we don’t have it,” Netanyahu said, in an interview with ABC News on Monday evening.

Cohen and Netanyahu were careful not to describe Israel’s future role in Gaza as a military occupation, suggesting the details of the postwar security arrangements are still in flux. They also left unanswered many important questions, including whether the Israeli military plans to control the whole strip or just a portion of it.

(…)

Advising Israel to avoid a similar course, Washington has said the Palestinian Authority—the Western-backed government that governs most Palestinians in the occupied West Bank—should take control of Gaza once Hamas’s rule is ended. Hamas violently pushed the Palestinian Authority out of Gaza in 2007.

Netanyahu’s government has an antagonistic relationship with the Palestinian Authority, however. Senior members of his government oppose its existence in the West Bank, let alone in Gaza, blaming it for inciting radicalism against Israel through its school system and compensation payments to families of Palestinians who are killed or arrested while attacking Israelis.

(…)

As long as Israel controls security in Gaza, it also will be difficult to persuade the Palestinian Authority to resume civilian control of Gaza, as it did before Hamas pushed it out. Nor will Arab governments or even the United Nations be likely to step in to underwrite a temporary civilian administration if Israel is continuing to attack pockets of Hamas cells still operating in the densely populated areas of Gaza City and other areas of the strip, analysts and former Israeli officials said.

“Nobody wants to come in—that’s the situation we are facing,” said Tzipi Livni, a former Israeli foreign minister and deputy prime minister. At the same time, “it’s not in Israel’s interest to stay in Gaza long term.”

(…)

For Israel, there are few good options about what to do with Gaza in the long term, say current and former Israeli officials. In the past, Israel didn’t push for decisive control of the strip, instead tolerating Hamas as a necessary evil on its southern border to prevent more militant groups taking root there. The Oct. 7 attacks changed that paradigm.

Even if Israel can secure Gaza and exit relatively quickly, it may need to keep substantial forces there or on the perimeter of the strip with the option to go back in, in order to prevent Hamas or a successor militant group from regenerating, analysts said.

(…)

With Hamas’s civilian administration gone, the task of providing food and shelter to its displaced residents would fall at least partly on Israel if its troops occupy Gaza, but Israel itself has shown little interest in assuming responsibility for governing Gaza once the conflict is over.

“I really don’t think that is our job,” said Shimrit Meir, a former Israeli foreign policy official, referring to the calls for Israel to answer how it plans to administer Gaza after the war. “If the international community is worried about Gaza, it should take care of Gaza.”

(…)

Cohen said Israel would reject any pause in the fighting until Hamas releases the some 240 hostages it and other militants took on Oct 7. “For us there is only one we will agree to a humanitarian pause—the release of hostages,” he said.

The U.S. also has been exploring options for the future of the Gaza Strip, including the possibility of a multinational force that may involve an international peacekeeping component that would come in if Israel succeeds in defeating Hamas. Along with seeing the Palestinian Authority re-establish control over the strip, U.S. officials say one of the aims of the war should be to revitalize negotiations on creating a Palestinian state in the West Bank and Gaza, alongside Israel.

“At some point, what would make the most sense is for an effective and revitalized Palestinian Authority to have governance and ultimately security responsibility for Gaza,” Secretary of State Antony Blinken told the Senate Appropriations Committee last week.

Many analysts consider that scenario unlikely, noting that the Palestinian Authority, weakened by corruption and headed by an aging leadership, has at best a tenuous hold even on Palestinian areas of the West Bank.

(…)

Netanyahu’s prediction of a continuing military presence suggests he and his commanders are now worried about exiting Gaza too quickly—or that limiting the duration of the military campaign to pave the way for the eventual return of the Palestinian Authority, as the U.S. wants, could backfire.

But staying too long in Gaza brings its own risks for Israel’s forces, including the risk that their presence could fuel an insurgency among Hamas’s remaining fighters and other militants, much as the U.S. faced in Iraq.”

[yourbuerokrat2]

Ok so I’ve been reading your dark!Qcard stuff AND I LOVE IT so I just wanted to drop this in: More or less adhering to the idea that Picard gives Q and overwhelming sense of meaning in his otherwise lonely/meaningless existence as a god, but more liking the ‘ideal’ of Picard as a partner and the word ‘no’ pretty much being a curse for Q. Sometime after the Deja Q incident whenever Picard strays from the ideal Q has of his as a partner, he retaliates by taking out on Data. Someone close to Picard as a son-like figure but also somewhat close to Q because he was a guide when transformed into a mortal and pretty much sentenced to death. Q would see Data as someone to confide in at first, but as his obsession grows, the extremes he needs to go become exponentially larger. Why Data? Because he’s pretty much a blank slate when it comes to experiences revolving around pain and emotion, which makes it even more darker now that I think about it.

Sorry this is incredibly ramble-y I have had 0 sleep and I’ve been binging Qcard content ✨

Always glad to know that apparently some other people like the not-so-wholesome interpretation of qcard. Or at least an AU-version of it.

Considering the 'Picard gives Qs life meaning' and Q having an 'ideal' of Picard: Did you know that there exists a pre-Picard autobiography of Jean-Luc Picard and in the foreword Q interrupts Beverly (who in that verse is married to Picard) to actually admit to Picard giving his life meaning and that he considers Picard 'the perfect human'?

Dark!qcard after deja Q is certainly interesting to imagine because darker/messier interpretations generally work better with pre-dejaQ!Q because that's where Q is at his most amoral, apathetic and antagonistic.

long fanfic-esque post under cut although no Data torture because I could never bring myself to write that.

What if Q had already become obsessed with Picard prior to Deja Q? What if Picard and his crew had already become his number one entertainment and comfort? What if Q really did throw them at the Borg because he had wanted to be part of the crew in order to be closer to Picard but couldn't handle Picard telling him 'no'?

Let's say Q really did enjoy the thought of Picard needing him. But now here he was, utterly dependened on the man who had just stood up and walked away from him without a single look back. Q really hated how the human body treated emotional pain like physical one.

Q needed Picard to need him.

This rather dangerous sentiment stayed when he finally got turned back into a Q. Not really fully accepted back (not that he ever was to begin with) but at least he had his actual body and most importantly his intellect and powers back.

That Picard, despite the captains previous words and actions, had actually tried to save him even though the consequences and ensuing conflict with the Calamarian could have become dangerous for the Enterprise, was clearly already a sign that in spite of Picards stubbornness he already did.

Now, even more isolated from the other Qs than he had been before (to be honest he is not exactly in the mood to have people who had basically given him a death sentence for company), not being able to go to his countless other distraction (the Continuum has their eyes on him, already aware that he would like nothing more than to teach the Calamarians and any other who had begun to think to take advantage of his weakened state a lesson or two) the only thing he had left was the Enterprise.

The realization that while he was beginning to spend most of his time watching, thinking or learning about Picard, the human in question did not even seem to give Qs existence any thought at all had been there for all of 0.1 seconds until it was squashed by the ego of a god.

Of course Picard thinks of him. Of course Picard needs him and wants him.

Q would just need to help Picard see that.

What exactly Q would consider as the 'ideal' he has of Picard as a partner could be up for debate. Because Q knows nearly everything about Picard, all his previous relaitonships included.

I think what Q would want Picard to be is his forever-partner, the one person he wants to stay infinitely. Being lovey-dovey is not a requirement since he knows and accepts stoic nature and could always tell himself that it's implied.

The main cause of conflict in this verse could be Q really wanting Picard to need him and that he wants to be Picards number one priority. Considering it's dark!qcard Q is a whole lot more selfish in this, wanting Picard not only to drop his work when Q wants to show him something far away but wants Picard to act like that's what he wants. That he truely prefers Qs company over that of any of his friends and crew members.

Speaking of crew members, there would certainly be a lot more open jealousy involved. Jealousy of Beverly, Guinan and Riker (Q does not like Picard calling Riker his Number One here) or basically anyone that gets more attention from Picard while Q is also in the same room.

How this relationship came to happen in the first place would also be up to debate. Maybe Q is really not all that deluded in this verse and there is some reciprocation, even though in the beginning when Picard agrees to it the captain is not all that aware of how deep and how unhealthy the entitys affection are and grow to be.

If you want it a bit darker: Maybe it was a bit of situation where Q was getting more and more insistent and annoying and Picard miscalculated that if he would give Q a chance the entity would grow bored of him rather quickly. Like a dog chasing a car, not knowing what to actually do once he actually has him.

The problem with the Picard acting against this 'ideal' he has of him and their relationship, for exemple when Picard ignores him, when they fight (more than just their back-and-forth which Q actually enjoys but an actual full-blown conflict probably caused by Picard demanding Q respect his boundaries and privacy) or when Q feels like Picard might like his job or someone else more than him is that it can't be their fault. It can't be Qs fault because nothing ever is Qs fault. And it can't be Picards fault because Picard and their relationship are (close to) perfect.

So it has to be someones fault this is not working out the exact way Q has fantasized it would be.

He wouldn't blame Data. For once, Data was actually the only person who was actually nice to him in Deja. But he would certainly blame Picards crew. Especially if some of them openly voiced their doubts about Qs and Picards relationship. Starfleet would also be blamed in general if anyone of Picards superior said something to Picard that Q could blame as the cause of Picard acting a bit less friendly or hesitant towards him.

So, the punishment would not realy be dealt on one person but in a more general fashion.

In the beginning it would all be of a more.. harmless nature. Like the Robin Hood kidnapping. Q would feel jealous and/or unappreciated and decide that Picard needs a bit of a reminder on who deserves and should be given (him) his attention (and affection). The only way they all make it back to the Enterprise is by Picard apologizing (in an annoyed manner because he thinks Q is overreacting and simply a playing a game) and promising that he will make more time for Q.

But as you wrote, instead of that being enough the obsession grows worse.

And what started as petty jealousy turns into possessiveness.

Picard and Q have another one of their fights and Q hates it. Hates it because he hasn't gone back to the Continuum in such a long time. Hates it because he can't help but compare everyone he tries to distract himself only to find them lacking when compared to the human looking down on him even though Q is bigger than him in any meaning of the word.

Hates it because Q asked Picard that his lackeys can't possible mean more to Picard than his lover and Picard said that they did.

So now when Picard comes on the Bridge when his shift starts again, he is alone. He can't reach any of them via comm either.

And with anger, annoyance and more dread than he is willing to admit to himself Picard realizes very quickly who is responsible for this.

When Picard demands of Q, who he knows may not be 'physically' here was still watching him, to bring them back he finds the smiling entity in Rikers chair.

"Well, you see, mon capitaine." 'Mon capitaine' and not 'mon armour' being a clear indicator that despite of the smile Q was not at all in a good mood as Picard had figured out from their last confrontation "that's the funny thing about this. They are not really any plae I can just 'bring them back."

"What do you mean with that?"

"It means they are, by your pitiful perception of reality, gone."

"You have gone mad. You can't be implying.."

"None existent."

For a short time Picard tried to find something in the entitys words or expression that indicated a prank or a joke done in really bad taste.

"After all, they can't be more important to you than me if they are not there in the first place, can they."

For one of the rare few times in life Picard was truely at a loss of words. So many words spoken in outrage, so many questions and demands laid on the tip of his voice.

But before he can give voice to variety of emotions boiling inside of man, starting by calling out this utter.. madness Q gets up making a show of being bored.

"Well, it seems that you need a bit of time to think about all of this. Call me when.."

Picard grabbed Qs arm, a foolish effort to stop the being from leaving considering Q can make himself appear and disappear at will.

"Q, this is.. this is madness. "

"No, mon armour. Madness is telling the god who is willing to lay the universe at your feet that he means less to you than a bunch of people you play poker with every once in a while."

There was only one way of getting his crew back. And both Q and Picard knew it.

So, once again PIcard apologized. Said that he simply had a bad day back then that he shouldn't have let it out on Q. That of course Q is very important to him.

The softening of the expression and the growing of a fond smile, were signs of success.

"You know that I need you."

They should probably have a discussion about Qs growing need for Picard to tell him that.

But considering his crew was currently still missing now was a bad time to bring up the unhealthyness of their relationship.

Thankfully this seemed to be enough for Q (for now). And the entity was gone and his Bridge was filled again with everyone who should be there.

After a quick check that everyone who should be on board was still very much on board and alive, Picard excused himself.

He was in dire need of a cup of tea.

[indigo474]

july 26th

i saw 3 cardinals today THREE- 2 of them while I was screaming singing a song about angels. I also saw 2 Lamborghinis-showoffs and 2 Porsches- the thing about personalized license plates is people remember. Today was one of those days that felt like a lifetime and its not even over yet. I'm getting ready for our trip and i don't know if I could/ can be more excited. i'm not scared- nervous- but very very excited. is this really my life? never in a million years did I ever think I would be taking a trip like this. it doesn't seem real to me. Madison is starting to get a little funny about the cost of everything- really? she is the cheapest thriftiest person I know. the worse person in the world to go shopping with. she has a FAT bank account. my daughter treats me good and I couldn't be more thankful for her. a few weeks ago when I was going through it - she knew and made me dinner. in the last 2 days she ate 39 uncrustables- she was complaining she was bloated.. I guess so.

So, James switched up my gym routine- I talked to him again about it. About the anxiety - he never says much- we went over the Smith machine, I told him I was watching videos. I go to the gym today..I didn't do my full workout but I did do the smith machine- I sent James a picture because that's the joke- take a picture or it didn't happen. he messaged me back - i'm proud of you- you're so brave. I think I did it totally wrong but I did it. and his message made me feel totally seen and it touched my soul. I've been thinking a lot about being seen and what that means- being seen and heard- it's so important- honestly I was pretty shocked my James' response because he doesn't say much. Work is work- i'm pretty much on my own- my direct report is MIA and has loosened the reins. we still try to meet weekly but those meetings have changed in nature- its less about how to manage my team and more of me saying I need you to do this or that- mostly HR stuff or things that need to be approved in regards to schedule changes. lucky for my team my direct report does not like write ups. I have tried.i have presented her with actual write ups - she wont approve them. she "Let" me write up one person. its actually bizarre. she kind of just brushes things aside. for the most part I have a good group so its not an issue - i'll tell her about so and so and she'll tell me to gather the info and present it to her but when I do she has a problem with it- and not the kind of problem that I can fix- the last one was a written warning and she said she didn't like the wording - I didn't make up the wording- that's the wording the company uses- I just added the instances. she sits there and chews on her thumb nail and makes faces and nothing gets done. We had a meet and greet for the new hires- Its my least favorite thing in the world- telling a room full of people about myself-yuck. I know its coming- I knew it would be on tuesday. i'm feeling confident- I debated on whether or not to bring my index card with my bullet points- I decided to bring it. the new hires introduce themselves -thankfully I was the first to go. my index cards says slow down. .. I felt like I did a good job. the next day Drew made a point to tell me what a good job I did. it was nice to hear because it's not something that comes easy for me. I have to try to do a good job. its also one of those things that I never had to do and certainly never ever thought I would be doing- I don't necessary like Drew but I do respect him. YAY me. My lead Christine got me so angry last week.