#dark qcard

[yourbuerokrat2]

"What would you do without me?"

There were many people Picard wanted to hear and see as he died. On top of that list were the members of his crew. More on the bottom of said list was the very Fae who was approaching him as he lay there bleeding.

A lot of answers to that clearly rhetorical question lay on the tips of Captain Picards lips ranging from "living a much more peaceful life" to "how do you keep finding me?" but instead of being able to voice any of his sentiments he only coughed up blood.

He had been ambushed while he had been out alone and had won the fight. But only for the most part because one of his attackers had managed to stab him through his chest. The pain mixed with seeing the expression of (false, false never trust a Fae) concern and fondness (and even love if the Fae were even capaqble of it) on Qs face as he crouched down to pick up his foolish human however made Picard wish that he had lost.

"It's time to get you home."

And there was the all too familiar condescension and amusement that still managed to make Picards blood boil even through the pain going through his body as he was lifted from the ground. Utterly defenseless.

"Now don't look so angry, dear. I have grown tired of mindless pets and puppets a long time ago and you are more interesting just the way you are."

No, they both knew that the.. 'position' the Fae had in mind for him was a different one. Which still did not stop Picard from protesting and trying to free himself even as he felt his head grow weary and tired due to the loss of blood.

Q meanwhile continued to be amused by his Captains rather unreasonable actions (really, Q was just trying to save his life and bring him somewhere safe and better) as he transported them away.

The Fae couldn't help but hope that his human would be rather hungry and thirsty after he healed him.

[yourbuerokrat2]

Funny thing is that this originally started out as a meme turned into comic commisson but then got more serious. It's just that I have read fanfics where Picard is .. reluctant to say the least about spending eternity with Q but Q is rather clear on that being more of a demand than an offer but Picard always relents or agrees in the end. So I think for Picard to really no longer want to be with Q or to not really want the sort of commitment that Q wants and for Q to delude himself into going through with it anyway is such an angsty scenario.

Anyway, here is the full fic for the great comic:

Jean-Luc Picard had not known what exactly he had agreed to when he had given Q a chance at something more, at something that could even be called romantic, than what they previously had. Because in his own mind he had thought that he had agreed to something slow, something that while it would end up becoming a committed relationship would never end up being something too serious because Q was, well, Q. And sure Q was quite interested in him but it was the interest of a godlike entity in someone mortal. He had suspected that he would never be anything more to Q than a shooting star, something short and temporary to enjoy even if he had known that Q in his own way seemed to genuinly care for him.

But he had certianly not agreed to .. this. Had never agreed to the whining he was met with each time he was not giving the entity enough attention, a need of Qs that was increasing the longer their relationship went on. He had not agreed to the promises of an endless future together and having his objections and doubts about said future dismissed. Had not agreed to the jealousy, the posssessiveness nor the rather public displays of affections.

And so, after having unsuccessfully tried to get Q to become.. less clingy, less jealous and less 'we'll spend eternity together', Picard saw only one option. To end that which he had never truelly agreed to.

He had planned to do it during their next date. When he had stepped foot into what should have been his quarters, he had instead stepped into a restaurant, he knew that now was his chance.

His entire wardrobe, a service Q tended to provide for him whenever he more or less willingly kidnapped his 'armour' to one of their outings whenever Q saw fit (something that also increased the longer their relationship went on despite Picard having voiced his disapproval of it happening as much as it did with no regard to what Picard had otherwise been doing or had planned to do before) changed instantly from his uniform to something more.. fitting for the occassion and the surrounding

During the course of the evening he had waited for the right moment to bring up 'them' no longer really working but Q had rambled on for most of it and had ignored or argued away any criticism Picard voiced. Yet still, Q had been happy. Which was not really all that surprising because ever since Picard had given Q a careful 'okay' to this Q had for the most part always been happy.

And even though Q was happy and in love there was something in those ancient eyes as Q stared at Picard, their dinner now finished and gone, that made even someone like him reconsider bringing up 'breaking up'.

After all, Q had spoken about how much he had missed him, made a comment about how unnecessary Picards captaincy was when instead he could be spending all of his time with Q and even now with the way Q held out his hands on the table and leant forward (an clear invitation for them to hold hands, something they had previously done especially in the beginning of all of this with PIcard having found it hard to believe that Q of all people could be a romantic) Picard thought that a clear 'I am leaving you. Goodbye forever' would not be well recieved.

He remembered the way Q reacted, utterly shocked and then angry when he had rejected Qs offer to join the crew. They had barely known each ohter then, even though looking back on it the beginning of Qs obsession could already be seen, and still Q had thrown to the Borg only lending a hand once Picard told him he needed him.

Picard did not know how a heartbroken Q might react to clear rejection. He did not know how an entity that still held him tight at night even though Q clearly did not sleep, did not know how an entity who had kissed him desperatly and feverishly and called him his 'armour pour toujours' would react to 'losing' him indefinitly.

So, he decided to .. introduce Q more carefully to the idea and eventual reality of losing him. Or maybe not entirely losing him. Maybe a 'break' a time where Q would be alone and hopefully be forced to reflect on the reasons for the break and the more unhealthy aspects of their relationship was what they really needed. And if that self-reflection did not come, well then Q would already have been forced to make peace with the thought of Picard no longer wanting to be with him.

And so, once Q had exchanged his want for Picard to pay attention to him by bragging about all the places he had been to and the different time periods he had seen while Picard had to spend it with his 'lackeys' (they had also talked about Q speaking about his crew like this numerous times, but still Q always felt the need to talk badly about those around Picard in a failing attempt to make himself seem like the much more superior option for time-spending and Picards affection of any kind) for giving Picard all of his attention and being as close to him as the table would allow by holding Picard finally had worked up the courage to carefully bring up their problems.

But every time he tried to do so, Q either interrupted him or tried to redirect their conversation back to the pleasantness of the atmosphere and their date. (Picard couldn't help the slight change of mimic and posture as Q brough up that they could 'talk here for an eternity, at least' When even during their first date Q had nonchalantly brought up the possiblities of forever and eternity he had only thought that Q was teasing him or simply making figures of speeches but now that he knew how serious the entity was about it he couldn't help his reactions of discomfort. Something which Q definitly noticed, considering Q quickly drank down his glass of wine. A gesture so unneccessary for a being like him yet so human and nervous). Trying to show empathy however also making clear that he would not budge from this, Picard told Q that he understood how Q did not want to hear this. But their relationship was.. complicated (the starship captian had brought of how he considered their relationship to be complicated one, a statement that always seemed to cause Q a bit of confusion because to the entity their relationship as Picared was beginning to more and more comprehend rather simple in nature with a very clear direction) and their relationship just couldn't go on at the pace it was currently going (Picard had in fact tried various times over the past few months to get Q to slow down and to not get caught up too much in what they had and to just 'see where this goes'. And although he had reacted positively to Q bringing up something they could do to celebrate their next anniversairy, the following comment from Q, clearly feeling encouraged by Picards previous positive reaction, about how Jean-Luc had yet to know about what Q planned for their first one hundreth anniversairy the captain had taken at a tease. Q had not been joking).

Still, Q refused to see and understand what it was his partner was building up to.

'We need a break, Q.'

Qs reaction was an immediate 'No'.

Qs POV:

Sure, Q would be lying if he were to say that he did not know that something seemed to be on his beloved capitaines mind ever since Q brought him to this restaurant (there were countless of things Picard wanted to do as he had stepped into his office, people he wanted to call, paperwork that needed to be done but Q stopped paying much mind to where Picard was, what he was doing and who he was with whenever he 'spontanously moved' Picard to their dates, if Q ever even cared about that to begin with) but as Q tended to do these days when it came to Picards silence and to their arguments and misunderstandings (Qs jealousy was not unfounded, just because 'dear Beverly' is Picards 'doctor' that did not give her the right to...) he tended to blame it on Picards work, the Enterprise, the missions, Command, the 'incompetence' and behavior of Picards crew, basically on anything and everyone but himself and their relationship.

And even though after a tense but nice dinner Picard opened up, with Q feeling like an another argument might be coming and trying to deflect and distract from it by pointing out how nice things were right now with just the two of them, Q still did not really want to see, hear nor suspect what might be coming. What had been 'coming' for more than a few weeks now.

'We need a break, Q.' and time stood stil. Because surely his Jean-Luc was not suggesting what he thought he was. Surely this was just some human euphemism for .. anything else. Maybe Picard was talking about the two of them needing some kind of vacation together.

But no, through Qs research which took simultanously years and milliseconds, Q found out that his Jean-Luc, his partner, son capitaine et armour, really wanted a 'break' from their relationship and that generally such a 'break' meant for people older than teenagers already a break up. At least for the person asking for a break.

'No'

No, because this really wasn't necessary now was it? They were working so well together, Q was trying to do so much, more than he had ever done for anyone else in his long, long life to make to make this work and to make Picard happy even if his human sometimes could not see that the lessons Q tried to teach him and the games he played with him even now that they were so much closer were all for his (Picards) and their benefit.

No, because since there really is not an objective reason for them to need a break and to be apart even though Q has already planned out the first billion years with all the tings he wanted to show and do with Picard to get him started on the concept of eternity there needed to be other reasons. Reasons that Q had known from the very start of their relationship, from the moment he had taken a closer look at Picards love life that were the cause for Picards uncertainty regarding their relationship and eventual eternity together.

So when Q in a fit of trying to close the physical distance between them in order to make clear to his Jean-Luc that there was no need for the emotional distance as well, that there was no need for the rather futile emotional walls his human built up around himself after being betrayed by a former lover one too many times, after having his feelings and heart used and end up being laughed at for it, turn the illusion around them into chaos, Captain jean-Luc Picard found himself ever so gently forced to look into the eyes of an entity who clearly did not take his want for a break, a break from the chaos in his life, from not knowing when their next date was, from having to deal with the petty jealousy and possessivenes of a childish god, from the embarrassement of Q not caring who or how many were in the room when he decided to be affectionate, a break from being suffocated by the needs of an almost lovesick god who no longer wanted to leave him a choice, seriously.

Instead, Q was .. smiling at him. Fondly if mostly in a condescending way that had now become so typical for Q even outside the Courtroom. Smiling at him as he spoke almost slowly in a way to make sure that his Jean-Luc was understanding every word as Q reminded him that even before their relationship had even begun Q had told him that they would never really part ways.

So there was no reason for Picard to fear that Q might only be using him, might betray him or to worry about any other silly but considering his past understandable worry that Picard might have about Qs motives in their relationsip.

Sure, Q may still play with him a bit but never emotionally and rarely without reason. And Q would always, always make sure that Picard was alright during their play. And sure Q may show up in what his Jean-Luc considers 'inappropriate' times but Q, being what he was, was just so much more worthy of his humans attention. And Q already told his Jean-Luc numerous of times as to why anything that Picard may .. percieve as jealousy and possessiveness was never unfounded.

So really, it's all about Picards past traumas and relationships coupled with Picards limited understanding that came with being human. Trust Q, he had been a human for a day he had felt how limiting that experience could be so of course Picard could not yet see the bigger picture of their relationship but in time he will. Q will help him see.

Besides, all of their current relationship problems are only temporary. (Picard would have liked to leave five seconds into Qs condescending rant but his face is still being held and Q is his only way of hopefully getting back to the Enterprise). Because in a few years Picard wil no longer have to worry about his crew, his ship or really anyone because he will be in retirement. So there will no longer be any 'inappropriate' times and any reasons for Qs 'unneccessary jealousy' as Picard calls it because after that they will have more time together and aside from a guest eery now and again it will just be the two of them. Especially once Picard has become free of his mortal coil.

Picards POV

One cannot imagine the amount of dread Jean-Luc Picard felt as he found himself back in this white space.

He had ended up breaking up with Q and Q had, as expected, not taken it very well. But he had still promised Picard this. That they would always be together even after his death.

And despite Q continuing to show up even after Picard had called 'them' quits, despite the flirtations, despite Q ruining every other romantic option Picard had, despite the 'you'll never get rid of me's and 'we belong together's a part of Picard had always thought that Q could not have been serious.

After all, he had told himself in lonely nights where he pretended to be asleep yet could not do so because he could feel the ghost touches of being held, kissed and adored, Q had not forced him to spend 'a little time together' the first time he had threatened Picard with it.

But now, Picard stood and stared at the very proof that Q had been very, very serious about the promise and threat in one all those years ago.

Staring at Q all too happy to welcome him in the beginning of 'their' eternity together. Arms open as if invinting Picard for a hug even though Picard knew that in a strange sense he had been in Qs arms for years now and continue to be so because the entity would quite literally forever refuse to let go of.

'.. for even after you die we'll be together.'

And former Captain Jean-Luc PIcard was angry, angry at the being in front of him who while having having saved him and humanity quite a few times, had still managed to ruin whatever what had been left of Picards private life. And who had the audacity of smiling at him as if to welcome him home after a long, tiring day with only a hint of friendly mockery in his eye while taking away Picards basic freedom of a peaceful death and whatever counted as an afterlife for the rest of the universe.

But whatever other emotions, whatever anger he felt, disapeared as felt the strangely human arms around him, holding him close to the being that had never really accepted that their relationship could ever come to an end. He could not see the way, Qs smile turned into an almost unreadable expression as the reality of the situation, the reality of Q finally having him (fully and entirely, with the Enterprise, Starfleet, Trial, Crew and now even no longer any of Picards other friends and even earth itself with the Family vineyard being behind them, leaving only Q himself) took over both of their minds.

With a clear, but unspoken (Q had actually said it to Picard in a variety ways when he had been alive, with the way he had looked at his then capitaine, with the way he had treated him even as Picard had only felt like a plaything to the entity, more so once they got closer. During every kiss, every hug and confession, with every game and kidnapping Q had said it to him) truth hanging in the air between them.

'You are mine and I will never let you go.'

'Besides, all of their current relationship problems are only temporary. (Picard would have liked to leave five seconds into Qs condescending rant but his face is still being held and Q is his only way of hopefully getting back to the Enterprise). Because in a few years Picard will no longer have to worry about his crew, his ship or really anyone because he will be in retirement. So, there will no longer be any 'inappropriate' time or any reasons for Qs 'unnecessary jealousy' as Picard calls it because after that they will have more time together and aside from a guest every now and again it will just be the two of them. Especially once Picard has become free of his mortal coil.' commission comic for @yourbuerokrat2 b/w version ↓

It was an amazing opportunity to work together, and it was very interesting and enjoyable. From the beginning of development to the final! @yourbuerokrat2 has great ideas and amazing writing skills, this is very inspiring! An excerpt of the text to the comic was written by yourbuerokrat

[stellarred]

A little, horrible thought scenario just popped into my head...

What if Picard was killed and Q couldn't do anything to bring him back, no matter what?

So, Q essentially went insane and sought revenge against the galaxy because his pain and rage was so great.

What if Q said, "Screw everyone," and truly became a monster, unleashing his full powers? What if the Q Continuum couldn't stop him????

I was just thinking of horror movies where the monster kills the whole town out of utter despair and anger stemming from the loss of a great love in their past.

I think of the Mummy and his lost princess Anhksunamun, Dracula losing Mina, or the Candyman slasher. They had love once and the loss of that love just made them go crazy.

[gingaaaaa]

A pleasant evening to…

To people who adore Joey Batey

To everyone who has already uploaded Radskier fics

To people who ship Qcard

To people who like Star Trek

To people who like Skyrim

To all gingerkind

To people who like Star Wars

To people who ship Dincobb

To people who ship Lokius

To people who like dark humour

And most importantly

To people who know how many lights there are

[c0smic-coral]

Darkness at the Heart of My Love - Qcard Edit

@susulbr surprise

[yourbuerokrat2]

@technicolor-dreamss

As a big fan of messed up!qcard I would like inform you that a discussion and AUS about a more bill cipher-esque Q have already been made.

Here are a few posts:

-https://www.tumblr.com/teeth-go-clink/663577332014039040/i-think-bill-cipher-is-exactly-what-q-could-have

-And here is my fic all the way back from 2021:

Part 1: https://yourbuerokrat2.tumblr.com/post/663685192083472384/au-a-mad-god

Part 2: https://yourbuerokrat2.tumblr.com/post/663698526153342976/au-a-mad-god

(It is admittedly a bit of a mess here and there and I have thought of rewritting it for Halloween this year)

And there is actually an old comic about Bill Cipher and Q talking to each other about Qs feelings for Picard:

Billford is kinda like qcard Star Trek TNG if it was fucked up and evil

[walkingstackofbooks]

Picard thoughts, now I've finished it:

Season 1 and 2 were really fun, actually! A few things that felt a bit flat, but idk, they did feel very Trek to me at heart. I was gripped throughout, couldn't stop clicking "next epsiode" XD

Season 3.... I got into it by the end, and I was far more okay with the reason for Jack being special than I assumed I was going to be, but still... 🤷‍♀️ definitely not my fav. The first few dragged most definitely.

I was NOT expecting Worf to be my favourite character, like, ever, but I was cheering every time he was on screen tbh, he was fantastic XD

I really like what they did with Seven, though I feel like they could have done more. But seeing that she'd grown into the warmest, most caring human... that was super special 💖💖

(LOVED that even though s2 was highlighting how fucked-up we are in 2024, they never brought in homophobia. Like, it would have been so easy and I'd have understood why they might have, but having that scene where they were pretending to have just got engaged and that just feel so normal, even in the "past" - idk, it was just nice that Raffi and Seven never felt any different from any other couple.)

All the new characters from s1 I really, really loved. Chris, Raffi, Agnes, Soji - ❤️❤️❤️❤️ they were all fantastic.

Most of the time, the callbacks to classic Trek worked very well - possibly a bit much in s3, but only in parts. Overall, there was a hell of a lot of love for Old Trek. Honourable mention to the music cues, cause man, whatever you think about New Trek, they use the themes of TOS, Voy, DS9 etc so well and it's beautiful. The Fleet museum scene - yeaaaa, shivers <3 <3 <3

I do feel like they went a bit too far down the rabbit-hole of "this isn't really a utopia". Idk, I think some of it felt a bit more grimdark-for-the-sake-of-it rather than the DS9 vibe of yes-it's-dark-in-here-but-there's-still-hope

Speaking of DS9 - the changelings and Dominion war legacy.... I honestly *don't* know what to make of that. It was interesting, seeing more of them, and I think some of the new lore might even have some... fun(?) implications to retcon onto what happened in DS9. But also... idk. The fact that Worf was the only DS9 character? I mean I'm sure the Enterprise crew fought in the Dominion war, but it was kind of rough seeing that plot without my guys from DS9.

Not a fan of the continued found-family-is-fine-(but-actually-biological-family-is-Everything) vibes. I had a problem with this in Voyager, wasn't expecting it to show up here ngl :/

Also what the hell was the whole Laris thing?? I mean I liked her as a character, but the romance was absolutely pointless. But also, even though I hated the romance, it felt super disrepectful to not even mention her at the end, given how 'important' she'd been previously?? Like, why was it even needed if they weren't going to do anything with it? (not that i wanted them to do anythign with it but yeah. gahhh)

**Q** however???? Omg, was not expecting it to be quite that gay 😅😅 I was SOBBING at the end of s2 and I've never been /that/ invested in Qcard but it is so real actually. Yeah, that rocked.

I'm sure there's more but overall: FAR better than I expected! I'd heard bad things about it, and TNG is not my favourite Trek at all, so I wasn't looking forward to watching it, but it was, genuinely, quite good. Definitely more than a few bits to be frustrated by, but I guess that's every Trek to be honest, so... yeah. Pleasantly surprised. Thanks, Picard.

[yourbuerokrat2]

Q putting Picard through fates worse than death in ways only a godlike space entity that adores/loves a human can.

[trek-tracks]

He’s not sorry

[why-its-kai]

original post

[stellarred]

I remember the TNG episode Cause and Effect, and how every time they repeated the loop, they became a bit more aware of what had happened until the problem was fixed.

I am unfortunately struggling a bit today with that post-ending scene between Q and Jack. Why would Q only appear to Jack? What is Jack's role in Q's cosmic scheme? Why couldn't Q have reappeared to Picard?

Given the fact that Patrick Stewart, Terry Matalas, and Co may not do a fourth season of PIC, and that Jack has taken over JLP's place in Trekdom, I am upset and depressed to think Q won't come back to Picard onscreen again.

But, knowing the Qcard force is strong, and that Q will see JLP "out there", there's no convincing me that Picard and Q will never end up together in eternity. Q loves him too much to just let Picard go and die. They end up together no matter what happens, or who Picard marries along the way.

I hate myself for investing emotionally in character ships, because I hate what writers do to them. That's why I don't watch lots of television shows, or movie franchises because of that one special pair of characters.

But, Qcard is very, very special to me. It provided me with a valuable source of relief and served as a good distraction late at night for almost three years after I had gone through a very difficult time in my life. My heart had been horribly betrayed so badly by people that I moved to the other side of the world to get away and heal. I got a good job abroad and stayed active, but there were times when my heartache caught up with me. I struggled with frequent ruminations of what had happened, and this was especially true late at night. Then I found out that Qcard was being taken seriously by STP writers. It made me happy and excited enough that it gave my mind something to think about and enjoy when I began to feel stressed again. I'd shipped Qcard for many years before then, but now, my favorite couple was back with a vengeance!

According to canon in my house, Q "died" in S2, but not before sending himself into the future to S3 to work with Jack, so that he could eventually serve as a conduit to his father's heart. Perhaps if Jack could ascend eventually to be with he and Picard, they could be a family!

I have always believed that Q had created a time loop in case Picard was unable to ascend. For example, in S2's Fly Me to the Moon, Q told Soong about "In 17 seconds, you are going to take a seat. Right on the tick!"

My take is that Qcard goes through TNG, STP S1 and S2, and after Q dies, Picard's relationship with Laris crumbles, and alone in his chateau, he eventually feels haunted by Q's absence (dreams, hearing whispers in the dark...). Picard goes on to rescue Q from wherever he's been. They have a committed relationship, get married, and live years of adventures in the universe together.

But, through a series of circumstances, Q is devastated to learn that the Continuum won't allow Picard to ascend. His capitaine's not ready. Meanwhile, Picard is aging and going to die.

Q uses a time loop to take them back to Encounter at Farpoint, and like Cause and Effect, Q has to re-teach Picard his lessons, and Q has to woo Picard all over again. Q has only a vague memory of his previous journey to marriage with Picard, while Picard doesn't remember at all.

This is also why a few Tumblrs suggested that Q and Picard are like "exes", which I don't like because that implies they didn't get along.

But, with each loop from TNG to STP S2, and the years after during their marriage, Picard learns more and proves himself worthy to join Q in eternity at last at some point.

I know people have excitement about this Legacy series that Terry Matalas is so gung-ho for. But, as far as Qcard goes, we don't know where that is going. Patrick Stewart said that they'd left "a few doors open" after S3, but I am tired of speculation.

Therefore, until a Tumblr mutual tries to excite me with real Qcard upcoming news-- because I'm not scouring any more ST news sources to get my hopes up anymore, my multiseries time loop is my canon.

I was grateful that Terry Matalas didn't ignore Q altogether, but I refuse to pay attention to any new Q character arcs. I mean, knowing our luck, Q will then be romantically involved with Deanna Troi!

So, I'm done.

My onscreen Qcard story ends at S2's Farewell, but my personal story with Q has, I believe, a FAR richer continuation.

I will say though, that Q looks damn sexy in that red cape.

[celestialholz]

Q-uick Qcard: STP 2.5

Wellll, here we are in week five of the darling @q-card and I's wholesome little event, and again, I have been fed this week. I have eaten goddamn well, and what do we when presented with good food? We chow the fuck down, darlings. Cross-posted to AO3 heeeere for those of you who prefer it, welcome, dears, to:

You Live in This, and Dwell in Lover's Eyes

He doesn't mean to say it, but it slips unguarded from red lips anyway.

Perhaps it's the fatherly solidarity; perhaps it's because the man resembles Data, and Q will be damned if he can't identify with the sheer self-indulgence of that, but he supposes some approximation of comfort can't be so terrible when he needs the man rather desperately.

"We're all hostages to what we love," he notes, knowing it far too well, a telling streak of maroon flashing across his vision, of the enigmatic and the stolid and the enthralling. "The only way to truly be free is to love nothing. How meaningless would that be?"

Soong's staring at him now, the curiosity of a scientist burning in his gaze.

"May I ask, sir, who I'm doing this for?" He asks softly. "Will this help your child, too?"

Q laughs openly at him. "Trust me, my son does not need help."

"... But it's someone profoundly important to you."

Q closes his eyes for a moment, hums cosmically with memories - space stations, talking a mortal out of omnipotence, showing him the galaxy's greatest threat; stealing his love interest, offering him his own heart back, helping him save his people yet again; the thrill of adventure, the complexity of their words, the joy of belonging and matching... the intense, frantic, beautiful and awful inferno of loving him. A rainbow, pure technicolour, coalescing into the most brilliant, harmonious white, threatening to shatter into the dark at any given moment.

Everything, and nothing without him.

He collides gently with the lab wall that he's apparently stumbled back against, and sighs deeply.

"Your daughter gives you a purpose in the universe," he explains, and it's an agonising truth and simple mirror all at once. "You wake up, you go about your trite mortal life, and you that know you belong, you matter, because of her."

Soong nods, eyes heavy. ".... Your spouse then, I take it?"

A god chokes out an almost mad giggle, drenched in bitterness. Stars, how I wish. He lets the concept sing through him for an infinite, desolate moment - Jean-Luc replaces the wife he cares little for, and they dance through eternity, barely apart, unified in spirit and in purpose, and finally, he has a home, all these billions of years later.

... He should find it alarming that he'd happily tear apart the universe for a lone and glorious idea, but he's a little late on that one, he knows dismally. The timeline's already failing, and here he slumps against a mortal's concrete, wild with panic but calm with absolute determination, and anything but powerless.

Perhaps I don't get to keep him forever, but whilst he's here...

He turns an iced, alien stare to his companion, and hardens to diamond, ensuring the man feels every last drop of the power of the destroyer of worlds.

"My raison d'être." He smiles, and it's the purest ice. "Don't fail me, will you? Because there are far worse fates for your little girl than a lack of vitamin D."

If he takes a perverse joy in the visible shudder that runs through Soong, well... there's no one to judge him. No one else looks so fabulous in the robes, after all.

[rivthewriter]

I apologize for rbing this without being tagged!! i just thought this would be a lot of fun to do since I usually am not the best supporter of my own works! Im sorry again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Baby You're A Haunted House (aka BYAHH) (QCard); My favorite fic I've ever written, without a doubt. Just goofy haunted house antics, existential crisises, and romance! I became really close friends with someone because of this fic! (Lemon, my buddy, my friend! Im glad this fic allowed us to meet! ^0^) Content Warning: Death, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Hauntings, Poisoning. | link! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And if on our darkest days we cry, sing til we put our fears aside (RussEd); You ever have a dream that you um you you um you- No but in all seriousness this little fic popped into my brain during an really bad bout of insomnia, it was originally just supposed to be one or two chapters but then I got really into the swing of writing this. Kinda like a pirate au, kinda like a mystery fic, with lots of fantasy elements and a lot of just, strange magic. Content Warning: potential to grow more morbid/dark in later chapters depending on how i want to take this. Memory loss, pirates, malicious ghosts. | link!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Excuse me sir, there must be someone you've confused me for (JohnnyV); Ive had some ups and downs with this fic, a total love hate relationship with it. I've rewritten most of the chapters over fifty times which is why it takes so fucking long for me to update. Just a shorter fic in which Johnny and V get a bit closer than what they were supposed to. Content warning: There is a chapter that has some smut. Trauma, Death, Depression, Fear, References to near death experiences (kinda), computer garbo lingo (about the relic). | link! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Too Much All At Once (Vicar Max/My Captain); You ever play a game and start crying over the connection two characters have but there's no romance in the game? yeah. this was born because of that. Lots of hurt/comfort, kinda slowburn but when i started writing this i didnt know how to really write slowburn.. Content warning: references to death, near death experiences, fear, trauma, anxiety, disorientation, smut. | link! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And finally... Love me, Love me, Love me, I beg of you. (Victor Frankenstein/Frankenstein's Monster); Written as a crackfic for pridemonth (because there is not nearly enough content for this ship and i did promise a fellow tumblr user i would write this), I actually had a lot of fun writing it, its really stupid, goofy, with more or less a 'and then they boned nasty style <3' ending because I decided against making it smut. Some fourthwall breaking happens where I say (and this is straight from the fic 'Deep down he felt like this was borne from something beyond his control, like.. A young man behind a typewriter (Or some futuristic equivalent, powered by lightning and glowing with the light of a thousand suns) during a special month to the el gee bee tee plus community (hi fellow LGBTs and monster-fuckers <3)' like. this is just a shitty little fic for fun!! its crack! its messy! its short! but it was really amusing to write!! | link! ~~~~~~~~~~~

(i dont really have anyone to tag so uh.. if my mutuals see this, go for it <3)

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Tagged by @ftld42

kindling (snos, suna & sunasis)

ah yes, the classic togaki snos breakup/makeup through the lens of one sassy sunasis. this one is for all the people who crave hurt/comfort // link

all that i am (atsusuna, osamu & atsumu)

atsumu is a mess and a half, and suna isn’t helping any. a fic about misplaced love, misidentified love, familial love, and future love // link

A Certain Indiscretion (stanxeno)

just a good ol’ genderbend bodyguard au where two lesbians are crazy for each other and also just plain crazy // link

I’m in a field of dandelions (nanago)

i will never not love this fic. it’s pure serotonin, super fluffy, super domestic. roommates nanago out of high school who just act like they’re an old married couple // link

It’s Art, Shizun! (liujiu)

honestly i don’t even know what to say about this fic. it’s crack. it’s misunderstandings upon misunderstandings upon misunderstandings engineered by one fujoshi Mastermind. there is (1) yqy casualty in the makings of a power couple. (2) if you count mf’s poor dignity // link

Now it’s your turn: @astrasia @justsomeoneunordinary @dewbells @ohmiyamy @tirralirralirra 💛

[c0smic-coral]

Hello there welcome to my blog

FIRST AND FOREMOST THE ICON WAS MADE ON HUNBLOOM’S CHARACTER CREATOR ON PICREW

I’m Ality, ya’ll can just call me Al or Dump idc haha~ My pronouns are she/her and they/them, I do not care which set you use or if you use both. I’m genderqueer and bisexual and I have ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression and PTSD. I’m a Gryffindor (I do not support JK Rowling at all, frickin TERF), I’m Taurus (May 15) and ESTJ. I’m based in East Coast USA. Sometimes I travel around but I don’t say where I’m going

My favorite colors are red, dark blue, silver, mint and lime green and black. Fav animals are cats (I have two cats), wolves, foxes, pandas sometimes, horses/ponies and dragons and unicorns even though they aren’t real (or are they?)

My fandoms are Star Trek (mostly TNG), Marvel Cinematic Universe (mostly pre-Endgame), Lord of the Rings, Star Wars (mostly prequels and OG trilogy), Harry Potter, My Little Pony, Mission Impossible, Warrior Cats, various Disney movies and shows and various Broadway/Off-Broadway musicals!!!

I’m also into The Amazing Devil and Ghost and they might just be the two best bands I’ve heard in my short life. Also I have a ridiculous crush on Terzo so

My main ships are Qcard (Picard/Q), Daforge (Data/Geordi), Spirk (Kirk/Spock), Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) and Benthan (Ethan Hunt/Benji Dunn)

I’m active on AO3 (same username) over there I’m writing a Qcard fic called Unraveled go check it out!!

I’m in a band!!! It’s called Poisoned Lipgloss (@Poisoned-Lipgloss on YT) and I write songs based on Qcard!!!

My main OC is a blonde Q named Qira Quiggles, I also have a few other Trek OCs (Captain Malorie Mission + Tarrank of Rexia III)

This blog is SFW, I’d personally rate the things I post PG-13 though in rare cases I do sometimes curse and I reblog things that contain curses sometimes… also my Terzo thirst occasionally gets out of hand. I am however tolerant of minors. Minors however should know that not all of the posts I like or comment on are suitable for children!! The same does not go for all of my mutuals however

DNI: TERFs, homophobes/transphobes, racists, anti-Semitics, pedos/MAPs, zoophiles, literally if you are discriminatory towards anyone don’t talk to me or do anything, EXTREMELY NSFW BLOGS (porn videos, porn art, porn imagery of any kind, people who use Tumblr Live to cam)

if you look like a bot I block you

if you flirt with me I block you

If you insult me in a serious manner I block you

if you try to get personal information out of me I block you

That’s all I can think of haha

live long and prosper 🖖🏻

[centipede-rain]

Little talks (Version with good ending)

Q decides to have a little talk with Picard. What Picard doesn't know, is that Q intends it to be their last.

(This is one part of two twin oneshots, one of which ends badly while the other doesn't. Everyone can choose whichever they prefer. This one is the version which has a happy or at least open ending.)

WARNING: HEAVY THEMES, LIKE DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE, SUICIDAL INTENTIONS, LOTS OF ANGST WIT A GOOD ENDING

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35484559

The soft yellow glow of the ready room lights reflects oh so peacefully on the familiar furniture. He has been in here often, yet, he rarely concentrated on the details… but now, at the evening of a slow day, which itself was the ending of a (for once) peaceful week of scientific research, he can’t help but stare dreamily into the room. The reports just lay there, forgotten on his desk. There will be more than enough time to do them tomorrow.

He lets his gaze drift downward, catches sight of his own reflection in the shiny surface of his desk, blurry and warped, yet still undeniably him. Thoughtful eyes stare back from almost formless blotches of color.

Then his gaze wanders to the abstract piece of art on his wall, which kind of reminds him of his reflection just now. Isn’t it nice that there is so much art to be found in real life, if one only looks close enough? Perhaps he should do so more often. If only things weren’t so busy all the time…

His peaceful reverie is interrupted by the gentle beep of his door.

Who might it possibly be, at this late hour? Perhaps, he thinks as a gentle smile forms on his lips, it is Riker? They did recently talk about wanting to take a drink with each other…

But as the door opens, that idea is immediately shattered to pieces, along with his tranquil plans for the evening.

For in the doorway, soft brown curls and inscrutable dark gaze, is Q.

“Hello mon Capitaine! How wonderful to see you.”

Sighing heavily, he subconsciously straightens out his uniform.

Time to wave his good mood goodbye.

“What do you want Q?”

The entity saunters across the room, his gait vaguely catlike, before lounging dramatically across one of the chairs.

“Nothing. I am merely paying my favorite starfleet pawn a little visit.”

Something in the others tone makes him hesitate. He cant exactly say why, but for some reason his banter seems off, his mocking smile almost hollow.

He opts to tastefully ignore the twinge of worry this brings into being.

“Either tell me what it is that you desire to achieve with your visit so that we can work from there, or leave my ship.”

It comes out harsher than he intended.

“How adorable” Q drawls, “to think that you could possibly command me! However, since you asked me in such a charming fashion, I will be courteous and share my plans with you.

We will simply spend a small amount of time together, perhaps talk a little.”

“And if I do not want to talk to you?”

“Then I suppose we will have to sit in silence until you decide otherwise. I certainly have plenty of time to spare. Do you, mon ami?“

Ugh. Insufferable prick.

“So I am just supposed to believe that you simply want to “talk”? No devious tricks or backhanded moral lesson? How naive do you take me for?”

Q does not react. At all. He just continues staring blankly at the wall a tad to the right of Picards head, the empty version of his usual mocking smile still forced upon his darkish blue lips, utterly forgotten by now and steadily deteriorating further into a grimace.

The spark of worry he felt earlier increases significantly now, gnawing away at his stomach, making him queasy.

something’s wrong, something’s wrong, something’s wr-

He forcefully halts his panicked thoughts. No use losing his cool now, as a captain he should know better than surrendering to mindless worry.

“Q. Why are you really here?”

The entities dark eyes snap up to meet his, the godforsaken blankness quickly replaced by defiance, pride, and a hint of defensiveness.

“What, already fretting about your pathetic ship? Is this any way to treat a guest? You haven’t even offered me tea yet, yet you are already doubting my intentions..”

The Captain suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

“Would you like me to make you some tea, even though you do not require sustenance and could will it into existence by merely thinking about it?”

“Why yes Jean-Luc, how charming of you to ask!”

With an annoyed huff, Picard takes the few steps to the replicator, ordering two cups of his personal favorite. Might as well enjoy it for as long as Q will keep up this farce of a “friendly chat”.

He does have to admit though, that the bit of normal banter has a reassuring effect on him. Today Q seems wrong somehow, all of his gestures slightly off, his expressions fake and his quips forced. Like a bone deep tiredness has taken a hold of him. It’s unsettling to witness, really.

Shaking these thoughts away, he takes the tea cups and carefully sets one of them down in front of his guest.

“I do hope you’ll enjoy it.”

But Q doesn’t react. He’s staring at the ground again, unseeing and apparently lost deeply in thought.

This cannot go on like this.

After hesitating for a second, he carefully puts his hand on Qs shoulder, who startles violently at the unexpected touch, head snapping up in alarm.

For a moment his eyes are back to their usual expressiveness, blown comically wide in shock before once again the mask of impassiveness slips neatly in place.

Oh how he despises it.

“Q..” he says, taking great care to lay all the gentle and calm warmth he can muster into his voice, “something is clearly going on.. please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Arrogant as always, aren’t we Picard? To presume that you could possibly understand me?”

He says nothing, instead holding Qs gaze.

After a few seconds, Q looks away in irritation.

“Dammit Picard, can’t you just comply for once and let this go? Sit down. Have a conversation with me. This doesn’t have to end badly if you don’t make me.”

With little alternative choices, he chooses to play along. At least for now.

So he sits down, taking a careful sip of his tea.

Qs tea is standing beside him, already forgotten.

What a waste of perfectly good tea.

A few minutes tick by, neither of them breaking the heavy silence that has settles between them.

Finally Picard can’t take it anymore.

“So, uh. What is it that you’d like to talk about?”

Q seems surprised at the sound of his voice, although he quickly catches himself.

“Everything. Anything you’d like.”

“That’s a little bit vague for a subject, don’t you think? How are you expecting me to start a conversation with nothing but this to work with?”

It’s meant as a joke, but Q still seems to be too far away to notice.

“You could tell me about your childhood. During all those years, I’ve never thought to ask.”

Now it’s Picards turn to be confused.

“All those years? I’m aware we know each other for a while now, but that’s a tad bit excessive, don’t you think?”

Q winces in, is it regret? Alarm? Guilt?

“Ah, yes yes, you’re right of course. It hasn’t been that long.”

“…right. Well… I’m not so sure what I could tell you that wouldn’t either be incredibly dull or something you already know, since you claim to be omniscient anyway.”

Instead of a snappy retort or one of his usual quips, Q just stares at him. His eyes, disturbingly enough, taking on a pleading expression.

“Jean-Luc please. Just indulge me. I…. I don’t… it’s complicated.“

“I… suppose I could. Hm.”

The alien waits patiently as he collects his thoughts. He isn’t entirely convinced this isn’t a joke, so despite the general impossibility to keep anything a secret from Q he doesn’t want to get too personal.

“When I was a small boy, I used to play the piano. I liked it too, was pretty good at it. But I simply could not play in front of crowds…. it just didn’t sit well with me. When I looked at the mass of expectant faces, the melodies simply refused to come, and when I did press a key it sounded off and wrong.”

A look at his audience tells him that Q is indeed listening intensely, even refraining from interrupting him.

Something’s definitely wrong with him.

“Well, on one of these evenings, when I was supposed to play a piece at a concert, I simply climbed onto the roof in the afternoon and refused to come down in the evening, when my father wanted to bring me to the concert hall. He called for me, searched for me, but I did not come.”

“What happened then? Did you get in trouble?”

Picard hides a small smile at how fiercely interested Q seems.

“Of course I did, but that’s hardly the point of the story. The point is that I stayed up there the whole night, staring up at the stars, thinking about life. And every time I look at the stars now, I am reminded of that feeling. Of the little boy I was, terrified, yet enamoured with life itself at the same time.”

He waits for Q to ridicule his sentimentality, expects it even, but nothing of the sort happens. His expression seems soft, sad somehow.

“Thank you for telling me Jean-Luc. I appreciate it.”

A heavy silence settles over the room, before Q breaks it yet again.

“And…. I must apologize. I know I haven’t always been easy company. I’ve been an ass to be frank. But the truth is… I do enjoy your company.”

Picard truly is worried now, scared even. Nothing about this situation makes any sense.

“Okay Q, this has to end. Tell me what’s wrong immediately. Are you in trouble with the continuum again? Are you in danger?”

Q sighs.

“No. But I should have known better than trying to delude you. The truth is… I am not the Q you know. Well, I quite obviously am, but not… in the way you might think.”

“What do you mean? Your ramblings are making no sense to me.”

“For you it has been merely a month since we last talked, but for me… it’s been a really long time.”

This sends a jolt of shock through Jean-Luc’s body, because in a terrible way it makes sense. Qs weird behavior, how his usual mannerisms seem just slightly off.

“So you are…. the Q I know, but from the future?”

“Yes, I suppose you can call it that…”

“And my Q? Is he somewhere else right now? Does he.. does he even know about this?”

The possessive pronoun slips from his lips without thinking, unintentionally managing to put a small smile on Qs lips.

“Yes. He is aware of my visit, but tries to keep out of it. There are some very strict Continuum rules about messing with linear time, and they only allow me to do this since I’ve been such a good pet during the last millennia, barely causing any trouble.”

If there is one thing Picard cannot imagine, it’s a quiet and subdued Q who plays by the rules. It just doesn’t fit, sits entirely wrong with him. The image makes his skin crawl.

“You cannot seriously expect me to believe that you didn’t cause any trouble? None at all? I remember that quite recently they’ve thrown you out entirely.”

“It’s been such a long time Jean-Luc, don’t you understand? I’m tired. There’s nothing I haven’t done. No one that interests me in the slightest. Causing trouble is not worth the energy, and nothing seems to be anymore, nowadays. I’m beginning to understand Quinn more and more…”

To say that he is absolutely baffled would be a severe understatement. This person sitting in front of him is so painfully familiar, yet a total stranger at the same time. It almost makes him feel dizzy.

And the things he’s saying…. He might not know who this “Quinn” is he’s talking about, but the defeated tone his voice has taken… it makes him suspect that he certainly isn’t talking about good things.

“Listen Q. I can’t say that I understand your life, your predicament, or anything about you really… but I can’t believe that there truly is nothing left that could bring you joy, nothing at all. Maybe if only you’d try to truly get to know a few mortals-“

“But I don’t want to, don’t you see? They’re not worth it. They are all the same, and I‘d rather immediately die than talk to another one. Believe me, I‘ve tried.“

“Surely you must be aware that I am a mortal too, and yet you are here conversing with me, instead of dying to escape my tedious ramblings.”

Finally the bleak look of hopelessness is replaced by one of annoyance. His first success of the evening.

“Oh Jean-Luc, don’t be like that. You know that you are different. Always have been in fact… if I only I had stopped denying it a little earlier… perhaps- but no. It does not do to dwell on these things.”

“Don’t you see? I’m different because you took the time to get to know me. Of course all mortals are the same, if you only look from afar. You have to see them as individuals and interact with them as such.”

Finally he can’t take the broken expression on Qs face anymore. It feels incredibly wrong to see him like that. He is supposed to be arrogant, mischievous, annoying, dangerous even. Perhaps destructive, a force of nature. But not… not this look of despair and hopelessness. It’s not right.

He gets up, walking around his desk and towards Q. He isn‘t entirely sure what he’s planning to do, until he is already pulling Q into a firm hug.

Anything to make his hollow eyes seem a little more lively.

“Look Q. We may have had our differences. Still will have, if I understand the situation correctly. But I’m here for you if you want to talk, or maybe just a little bit of company.”

There are arms around him too, pulling him closer, hands desperately clutching at his uniform.

“But you’re not, don’t you see? You’ve been dead for millennia now. The Continuum only granted me this one visit because they’re worried I’ll off myself soon.”

Something about the false nonchalance in Qs voice alarms him, so he gently pushes him away from him, intending to get a clear view of his face instead.

“But you won’t, right? Please Q, tell me you won’t.”

He evades his gaze.

“I… it just all seems so pointless…”

The words hit Picard like a sledgehammer. Q, annoyingly confident, arrogant, egocentric, mischievous Q, contemplating suicide? It makes him feel like theres a hand around his artificial heart, squeezing down tighter and tighter by the minute, so surely it will be completely crushed soon.

he isn’t just going to accept this. He might not have realized what had been going on in time, the last time he and Q had had such a talk, but this time he is fiercely determined to change the outcome.

“I am absolutely convinced that there are still things out there that can bring you joy, and if you think talking to me might be of help for you, then I am equally convinced that you will find a way to do that too, no matter the laws of linear time or the Continuum. You are Q. Capricious, mischievous, creative Q. You’ll find a way.”

“No matter how much I appreciate your heroic attempts at cheering me up mon capitaine, I fear your efforts are in vain this time. Perhaps if things had gone differently… but it’s too late for me now. I suppose I’ve just come to see you again, after all this time, and… and to say goodbye.”

The helpless feeling threatens to overwhelm Picard, to suffocate him, but he still he carries on, just barely managing to push the words out.

“You will do no such thing Q, or so god help me…”

All he gets is a hollow smile.

“If a singular god existed, he would have killed himself long ago. And I’m afraid I’ll follow him soon. But, seeing as you seem to be so surprisingly devastated by the prospect of my demise, and to honor our time together, I’ll humor you. Tell me one good reason and I shall live another thousand years. But be warned, it can’t be done.”

But the words have forsaken him entirely now. The light seems too bright, too artificial and the room feels so cold. He can’t think.

The thought that Q, who he had always believed to be eternal, who had mocked them so often over their status as a mortal, and who had been terrified at the prospect of being hurt during his time as a mortal - that he might be in enough pain to plan ending it all. It’s horrible.

And that he, Picard, can do absolutely nothing to stop him.

Well, at least he is here with Q. Completely disregarding the continuity of time and all laws of known logic, he can at least try.

And really, there is only one thing he can think of that might possibly get though to Q, make him reconsider.

So he leans in and kisses Q, trying to lay into the kiss all he doesn’t yet manage to say out loud. All those lonely nights spent awake, thinking forbidden thoughts, the secret, unfailing hope that perhaps some day they could…

It is something he has been wanting to do for a long time, if he is honest.

He just never imagined he’d actually allow himself to. But if what the other says is true, this might be the last possibility to do so.

After a moment, Q finally kisses back. First hesitantly, as if testing new waters, but then with more and more fervent desperation, like a drowning man begging for water.

He can feel the other man pull him down onto his lap, frantic arms pulling him closer as if his life depended on it.

As they finally separate for air, he can see that the other is crying. Maybe he is too.

Q speaks again, a slight quiver in his voice.

“Perhaps… perhaps I could find a way. There has to be some kind of loophole in Continuum law, if I look hard enough. I could try, for you I’d try…”

Picard definitely is crying now, but smiling through the tears as brightly as he can manage.

“That’s my Q.”

“Yes…” Q whispers hoarsely, “I suppose I am.”

And as Jean-Luc kisses him again, he can finally feel the beginnings of a small smile against his lips.

[speedygal]

In the background of S2

Q:

Agnes:

Q: Listen, if you get used one more time and try to kill Mon Capitaine, in this life or death predicament, then you will be dragged back and forth across the galaxy without protection until you're dead and leave you as the frozen used husk--

Picard: *Let's him talk*

Q: in front of your beloved friends.

Seven: ENOUGH.

Q: *Flashes*

Agnes:

Raffi: It's not going to be your fault---

Picard: If do you try to kill me, Agnes, that will be a option and I won't . . . I won't be in the right state of being to say no.

La Sirena Crew: *horrified*