#let's get eggs

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[x-crowmancer-x]

Sometimes it's a tough, angsty day and you put your face in a cake.

It's ok Chayanne.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji might be an unstoppable force, but Xie Lian has 800+ years of practice of being an immovable object.

(poll results here for context)

[riseandfallofsecunit]

Murderbot and its new client Jonesy

[clockworkreapers]

Rosa screamed, "Why did you do that to our door!? It was unlocked!" Jerry was quick to reply, "And now it never won't be." -tftgs vol3

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

ovulation being a hell of a drug that ends up getting steddie together like

eddie and queen bee stevie harrington who have a weird kind of friendship where they share like. Everything. not a single secret between them. like eddie's got stevie's cycle pretty much memorised and she knows about every inappropriately timed boner he's ever had. and they're talking one day, smoking, shooting the shit, and there's a second of silence before stevie's like. oh my god. im so horny im gonna die. and eddie's like huh what. and stevie goes like there's a stain on your wall that's kind of shaped like a sperm and that made me think about cum and now im all bricked up. my vaginas haunted. fucking sperm shaped stain.

and eddie's like. wait girls- ok you know what im saying this in my head and im realising this sounds dumb but like. i thought girls didn't like. Get Like That. like i thought random horniness at a stiff breeze was a guy thing

and stevie snorts like nope girls get it too we just get to hide it bc we don't get boners. swear to god there's like a week of every month where i get fucking possessed or some shit. robin says it's like a period thing

but you're not on your period?

and stevie's like no it's like. the opposite of a period. like your period is your uterus being like hey you fucked up you're not pregnant but Horny Week is your uterus being like okay im ready let's get a baby in there time to get pregnant you know what to do. it's called like. oval. something. oval something. im all fertile and my body's trying to trick me, the fuckn prick.

and eddie just kinda goes huh and then there's another second of silence where he tries very hard not to think about stevie being pregnant. and then stevie throws her arms up with a frustrated sigh like god DAMN it now im thinking about being pregnant and eddie's internally like well at least it's not just me

and anyway another joint later this obviously devolves into stevie shoving eddie's hand down her pants and telling him please it'll be so quick he doesn't even have to do anything and she just ruts against his hand while he stares at her bc he's so high and the girl he's basically in love with just told him how fertile she was and then started rubbing her incredibly wet pussy against his hand and he feels like he might pass out

they do this and more about once a month for like a year until stevie does actually get pregnant. her stupid uterus successfully tricked her 😔✊

[moonyslesbian]

eddie is actually so lucky buck laid eyes on him and immediately became obsessed with him forever because otherwise?? he would not have been part of the little clique thing the others had going on at the 118. he simply would have been one of the other regular firefighters who work there and who daily wish ill upon them all

[swagveryswagamazinf]

follow the light

[reformed-misfit]

[sssaturnsnake]

not my body and never my choice

[fishyvamp]

Danny: You saw them, too, huh?

Herman: Yeah

Danny: ...

Danny: Is it weirdly hot?

Herman: Yeah.

Danny: Okay good I thought it was just me

Disclaimer I have been holding back, so be warned I kind of took the gloves off so um... Mind the tags.

Okay but hear me out, Ghostface x Doctor X Fog Monster!reader. these two are sitting around the killer campfire talking about their thoughts the tension finally broken. As they talk about not being sure if they wanted to be blight or be his survivor. Going on and trying to talk it out. Meanwhile, you are in the woods watching them listening, something intriguing about their words.

You purposely get caught in one of The Doctor's traps. Your body is ensnared painfully before Herman comes to check on his trap. Dragging your hulking body to his lab chaining you to the table. The shadows of your body falling off. You're not the most unique monster he's strapped to the table, he knows a bit about your species, but he's never caught one before so he's curious to see how you'll react to painful stimuli. So he's just mindlessly setting the operating theater up Ghostface appearing in the window of the observation floor.

You just smirk giving the masked killer a wink as your form breaks apart getting out of your bindings and swirl around both, both of them startled as they're pulled from their respective spots. Glowing red eyes and a blind white grin leering at them through the thick fog. "A little birdie once told me that you both wanted to experiment." Your voice surrounds them from all sides. "I can be whatever you want, have whatever you want. All you need to do is ask." You purr.

The two killers frozen turning to each other as they're set on the ground the fog still swirling around them. As if sensing their confusion your fog pulls in tight forming two solid naked bodies one of a beautiful woman and the other of a strong and attractive man. Both bodies walk around touching the two in a seductive manner, your feminine body pressing tightly against the doctor's chest letting him get a good look at your cleavage while your masculine body comes up from behind Ghostface one hand grabbing his hip, another his chin. Your tongue licking along the length of his mask.

Taking the hit you can feel it, feel what they actually want. Both forms growing larger more and more monstrous traits doting your bodies. Teeth growing too sharp, smiles too wide, extra eyes and mouths blooming on your body, Tentacles erupting from your backs. You feel both of their hearts racing under your grip their forms now dwarfed by your own. Your feminine form picks the doctor up placing him on the exam table you were once strapped to your teeth tearing at the fabric of his pants and ripping the crotch of his pants. Why the fuck did he find that hot? His dick was already hard as you mouth him through his briefs.

Your masculine form pins Danny up to a wall tentacles undressing him slowly as you lick along his throat biting the mask and taking it off with your teeth discarding the useless thing as you nip and lick along his lust-drunk face. "Such pretty boys both forms coo. Masculine form grinding your large and girthy tapered tip cock rubbing against his heat. "Such nasty boys." Your forms take on more monstrous traits. Your feminine form sprouting webbed wings and your masculine form's cock changing from stiff to prehensile writhing and eager, a groan escaping your lips.

Both men whimpering, feminine form pulling out The Doctor's cock feeling your long tongue wrap around it, jaw open wide; sharp jagged grazing the dark sensitive skin. Herman's knuckles lighten as he grips the edge of the exam table. His cock drooling in your mouth. He felt like a damn virgin with how close he was and you've barely started on him. The masculine form turning your head pausing your ministrations on Danny to grin at Dr. Carter, "There is no shame, relax. I'm here to make you both feel good. Give in." Voice turning dark, a chuckle rumbling in your chests feeling them both shiver. "Good boys."

Claws tearing Ghostface's pants open tentacles prodding at his tight puckered hole. "Relax." Your male form purrs trying to bite back the moan; feeling Herman cum right down your feminine form's throat, but you don't stop working the softening cock with your mouth encouraging it to drag on to an almost painful level you'd stop if it wasn't for the good doctor thinking about how he didn't you to. How he wanted more. Your tentacles wrap around those strong beefy legs letting him cage your head as you still yourself. Purring around his length.

Danny whined feeling you pulling him apart, grunting as your tentacle cock in, slowly, centimeter by centimeter enjoying the frustrated whimpers that fell from his lips. "You want this sweet boy, I can hear your thoughts." You whisper against his ear. "You love the way it hurts, you love the way it curls as I push in. I can hear those secret thoughts. I am whatever you want me to be. I am whatever you crave me to be." The words a growl against his ear causing him to clench along your length. "I know you want so much more and I can promise it'll be everything you've wanted."

Gasping for breath he feels you swell something round and bulging pushing inside him causing his eyes to roll back, causing his already neglected cock to drool more. Spilling down his length. The two killers enjoy the monstrous attention they seemingly attracted.

[qsmpbutwithsignlanguage]

Anyway on the list of confirmed Tubbo Dads we currently have:

Lee_500 (the OG, the actual father of Tubbo irl)

CaptainSparklez (the GOAT, we stan the Sparklez-Crumb-Tubbo family dynamic in this house)

Chayanne (the eight year old is most certainly a parent in this house, no pls don't call CPS)

Freddie Badlinu (we stan a king that can trick his friend into signing adoption papers in this house)

Philza Minecraft (terrible DSMP parent, I believe he was technically c!Tubbo's dad, but we love him anyhow)

Iskall85 (I know nothing about him, but I Trust in my Tumblr mutuals in assuming that he's a good person)

BONUS

jSchlatt (fanon dad of c!Tubbo. Terrible, terrible character. We don't talk about what happened in '99)

Quackity (mama q, lol. in here for the shits and giggles, he is. um. he's not the most present parent in the qsmp.)

[suguruuuuu-chan]

Do you ever think about the fact that the ONE time Sanji let himself be comfortable and enjoy dresses and makeup with cigarettes, Ace died and Luffy almost died all alone and so far away. Will Sanji ever forgive himself for daring to relax and explore himself a bit while catastrophic things were happening? (Jk he'll never do so again, just in case)

[mad-c1oud]

thinking about the Charlie's birthday stream. not the ending, no, we think about that too much. no I think about everything else:

the happiness, the joy, the warmth of it all for nearly two full hours

the lack of mob spawns that night because it’s Charlie's birthday and he has eggs with him. how intentional it is. how funny it is and how sad it makes me because its so considerate

thinking about Tallulah by Charlie's side the whole time, diligently leading him from item to item as his little "guardian angel". Charlie trying to be a good tio and falling a little short sometimes, accidentally leaving Tallulah behind when she crashes but still trying cause that’s his sobrina. how she has to actually hit him to get his attention and how bad she must feel but it's so fucking funny each time

(how can anyone blame him when he never gets to hang out with the eggs enough to know he should wait for her? Charlie had Juanaflippa for what- 10 days? and was practically shunned by several others and himself from interacting with other eggs after his action, which is understandable, but only for so long. can they not see how he plays with the eggs? hear how soft his voice gets around them? don't the other islanders understand?)

this is maybe the longest he's gotten to hang out with tallulah since he got his backpack. Wilbur is his best friend and this was the egg he left behind. He's still learning and Tallulah still loves him despite it. Two people missing someone dearly, yet they have each other even if it's hard to realize

thinking about "Maybe Tallulah, you were the gift. I think you're the gift, Tallulah."

thinking about Richas, his nephew because Charlie has Mike, an actual brother that is equally excited to see him time and time again. A nephew coming around with the slime head and slime balls, like a mini Charlie, who is decked out in a full ghillie suit. Charlie who plays with the egg, pretending to be a spooky monster and richas playing along and getting scared

thinking about Charlie not knowing how to use the ghillie suit properly so he's still clearly visible to the eggs, yet they act like he isn't for his sake. shepherding him around from place to place because charlie is a little clueless yeah (he's in exile, go easy on him), but they are patient and happy to "tag along" and let him lead

thinking about them all taking a picture with him in the school, charlie wanting one with both of them, something to remember the day by.

thinking about how charlie is clearly loved by the eggs, his huevos, and how he clearly loves them back and is trying to be better for them even if he struggles so much

thinking about Charlie Slimecicle on his birthday, for once happy after everything he's been through, Tallulah and Richarlyson by his side

just him, his sobrina, and his nephew on a little scavenger hunt under the stars while the rest of the server remains quiet and calm. asleep while they remain lively

just them

happy

[pettyoddity]

pepper

[royalarchivist]

Phil: Doin' a lot of traveling around the New Years. Oh boy, oof. Oh golly, oh gee. But it should be worth it! It should be really good. I'm looking forward to it, Kristin's looking forward to it.

Random Chatter: What about Tallulah and Chayanne?

Phil: I told them already what's going on. I already told them. They already know when I'm getting back and all that stuff, so.

Random Chatter: The cookies though?

Phil: [Shrugs] So? I'm... physically not here? [Laughs] There's more things - there's more important things in life than feeding a virtual egg cookies, I'm sorry to say, dude. [Laughs]

Random Chatter: Get Tubbo to feed eggs cookies.

Phil: [Laughs and mimics the chatter in an annoying voice] "Get this person!" "Get that person!" ALSO IGNORING THOSE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE LIVES! Jesus Christ. That says a lot about what you think of your streamer. Oh my god, dude. Let them have a fcking week off man! Let the Eggs have a week off, you kidding me? They're people, too, they're admins!

Random Chatter: The eggs need to live.

Phil: They do! By having a week off! [Laughs] Leave them alone! Holy fck! Good lord... If I- if- Dude. If anyone in my chat is genuinely like gonna come into stream, and like - be pissed off that different members of QSMP are just not logging in, I'm banning you on the spot, 'cuz that is so fcking toxically online of you. That is SO chronically online of you. You need to take a break, and I'm giving you that break. I'm forcing you to take a break from your PC. Fckin' get up from the - look away from the screen.