#let's forget hunter ever was a thing

[lilho-ho-bo10]

Bruce: What is going on here?

Clark: In honor of Father's day we're having a "bring your kids to work day". Isn't that right, Jon?

Jon: *Waves at Bruce while playing Chess with Lois* Hi Dad!!!!

Bruce: Hey kid.

Arthur: *Cradling Andrina in his arms*

Diana: Your daughter is adorable.

Arthur: Thank you , Princess. Wait, didn't you have a son?

Diana: I did.

Arthur: Where is he? I'm sure Clark wouldn't mind if you brought him.

Diana: He's dead.

Arthur: Oh...

Diana: I killed him.

Bruce: !?

Everyone in the room: ...

Everyone: Starts to applaud and cheer.

Arthur: Thank God!!!

Jon: I hated him!!!

Clark: You did the right thing.

Bruce: !?!?!?!?!?

[milla-frenchy]

In the cold night

3k1 | Joel Miller x fem reader | ao3 | Masterlist

Summary: being on patrol, Joel and you spend the cold winter night together in a small house

Warnings: 18+ mdni. mention of a past SA attempt (not by Joel), protective!joel, feral!joel saving reader, friends to lovers, one bed, soft!joel, praise kink, masturbation (f), thighs rubbing, oral (f), piv. No age specified

a/n: this is written for @justagalwhowrites 's “Joel Miller birthday celebration”. I chose Jackson!Joel/one bed- Thank you for this event 🙏 Thank you @arcanefox207 for the gif in the mood board ❤️ Please, check out the full gif here and some others, they are stunning 😍 Thank you, Ally 🙏❤️ @aurorawritestoescape thank you as always for beta-ing, baby 💕🫶 dividers @saradika-graphics 🙏

The crunch of your footsteps in the snow echoes in your head. Two rabbits are hanging from Joel’s back, clinging to his shoulder. His brown jacket has lost its shine long, long time ago, and the leather is frayed at the elbows and sleeves. Every time you pass him, the smell of old leather rushes into your nostrils. A reassuring, familiar scent.

You’re heading to an outpost, as you have done so many times before. You know each other's reflexes by heart, the way your bodies tense in case of danger, the glances that make speech useless. You no longer count the number of infected you have killed during patrols.

You look around a small wooden house. Searching for footprints, anything that might put you on alert. You scan the area, whether for infected, or worse- hunters or raiders.

You feel safe with Joel, ever since the day he snatched you from the hands of raiders. Two dirty, skinny men. They surprised you, during one of your first long patrols. They knocked Joel out, and dragged you on an old mattress of the shelter you just arrived at. They did not even pay attention to the dead duck that you planned to eat that evening. In this world, with some men, food is not the first thing they crave. 

You punched one of them, then tried to grab your knife, but two men were too much to handle. When they threw you onto the mattress, you struggled, screaming, biting, then one held your arms while the other removed your pants. Tears obstructed your view. You would have preferred to be bitten by an infected, rather than that. 

Just as the first man was about to lie down between your thighs while you were crying with rage, you heard a dull, cold, unexpected noise. A knife thrown from the opposite side of the room, just stuck in the skull of the man, holding your arms. As soon Joel threw the knife, he rushed to rip the man off your body, and then punched him so many times that his face got swollen from the blows and turned unrecognizable.

“Piece o’shit!” Joel growled from the depths of his chest. You looked at him, still half in shock at what had almost happened to you, feeling relieved. The man was lying on the ground, barely breathing. Joel let go of his collar and retrieved the knife from the second man’s skull. He pressed the tip of the blade against his heart and slowly pushed it in, his dark gaze fixed on the man’s. The raider’s feet twitched for a few moments, before they froze for eternity.

Then Joel rushed over to you and covered you with an old blanket pulled from the foot of the bed. As soon as he sat down on the mattress, his worried eyes fixed on you, you wrapped your arms around his waist. Wanting to forget your fear, to curl up against his reassuring presence. He took you in his arms, rocking you slowly, holding you close to him.

“ ‘m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear them coming, because of my damn bad ear.”

“It’s ok, Joel, it’s ok. They didn’t do anything to me,” you muffled in his chest.

“No it’s not. They did way too much. But I got you, now. I got you. Won’t happen again. Not on my watch.”

He held you against him for several minutes, patiently, one hand caressing your back, the other resting on the nape of your neck, until you stopped crying. He then asked if you were feeling a little better, if he could get the bodies out of the outpost. He didn’t want you to see them anymore. You nodded, watched him as he dragged the bodies out into the surrounding woods. 

He was sitting next to you until you fell asleep. He stood guard all night, staring at the shadows of the trees through the window, letting you rest.

From that day on, you knew that nothing would happen to you as long as you were with Joel. He was the type of man who, when he said something, stuck to it. He was reliable, loyal, and serious. He was your patrol partner, and you couldn't have asked for a better one.

Once you reach the shelter, you prepare the fire in the hearth of the old fireplace, while Joel goes around this old house, half buried under the snow. It is the first time that you patrol here in the middle of winter, and the walls and the ground are icy. You eat one of the rabbits, trying in vain to warm yourself by the fire. As you get ready to go to bed, Joel puts a blanket on the floor.

“What are you doing, Joel? You can't sleep there. You're gonna freeze and die, it’s too cold!”

“There's only one bed, sweetheart. Ain't gonna sleep with you.”

“Of course you're gonna sleep with me. Come on, Joel, don't be silly. We can share the bed, we have to keep each other warm or the next patrol will find our two skeletons in this damn house.”

“Jesus, you’re so stubborn! Alright then.”

You smile, thinking that you had never met someone as stubborn as him, and if he hadn't noticed your slightly blue lips, he probably wouldn't have changed his mind.

You undress and slip under the thin blankets, wearing your t-shirt and panties. Grimacing at the contact with the cold and damp covers. He joins you in the small bed, and even though warmth radiates from his body, your teeth still chatter.

“Christ, you're freezing. C’mere, I’ll keep you warm,” he says, as you take off your t-shirt and he discards his too, leaving only his boxers.

“Told you we had to sleep in the same damn bed… and I'm the stubborn one?”

He chuckles, and takes you in his arms, his chest pressed against your back.

“Better, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, you’re as warm as a boiler. How is that possible? Icicles are practically falling off these blankets.”

“Alright, you’re exaggerating a bit, don’t you think?”

You scoff and muffle a laugh, then fall asleep.

You wake up during the night, Joel's light snoring in your ear. His arms are still around you and you're much less cold. His scent surrounds you. You shift slightly, putting the blanket that had slipped back on both of you. The movement makes him mumble in his sleep and you smile, getting ready to fall back asleep, until you feel him twitch against you. His cock, asleep until then, has just woken up in his boxers when your ass brushed against it.

You open your eyes suddenly. It’s been a long time since you felt a body- a hard cock - against you. You try to move away from him a little, to not wake him up, to not create awkwardness between you. But he holds you tighter against him, letting out a sigh of contentment when his cock finds its place against your ass again.

You get a rush of arousal and you're not sure if you'll be able to fall back asleep. Your walls are contracting painfully, calling for a release of the pressure from your crotch. You close your eyes, placing your hand under the pillow. Trying to think of something else, until his cock jerks again. Once, twice. There’s no way you’re gonna be able to fall back asleep. 

So you think that maybe, if you do it discreetly, you can make yourself come. Even though he's lying against you, his chest against your back.

You slide your hand south, slowly, so as not to wake him, and start brushing your swollen folds through your panties. But it's not enough. You slide your hand under the hem, finally whirling your clit under your finger. Joel growls against your ear and you freeze for a few moments, until his breathing becomes calm, steady. Gently, you stroke yourself, finally starting to feel the fire in your crotch calm down a little.

You vaguely feel his nose brush your hair, not paying much attention to it, thinking he does it in his sleep. Then you feel his hand slowly slide down your arm, and you jerk, hastily removing your fingers from your panties, realizing that Joel is awake and that he has caught you.

“It’s ok, sweetheart,” he whispers softly in your ear in his sleepy voice, taking your hand and gently bringing it back to your pussy.

You feel the heat reach your cheeks and think about getting up, but you're too ashamed to face him. There had never been any sexual tension between the two of you. You're what you could call friends, in this lost world. You trust each other, he told you about Sarah, you told him about your late husband and son. You trust each other, and honestly, you never thought about him as more than a friend. And you don't want to ruin your friendship.

“I just want you to feel good.”

You stay silent for a few moments. Thinking about what he's telling you. You know he's sincere. 

You feel your clit pulsing and you bite your lip.

“Ok, Joel,” you breathe out. 

You're unsure of what will happen between the two of you after, but you let him lead your hand and slide your fingers under your soaked panties. You're already moaning at the first touch and you feel your nipples hardening. 

Delicately, the tips of his fingers pressed against yours, you let him lead the dance and travel through your folds. Then he slides both your hands into your panties, and makes you touch yourself so delicately, as if you were the most fragile thing in the world, that new moans escape you.

“Keep going, Joel, please…”

He hums, grazing your ear with his nose. You hear his breathing deepen, then he presses his forehead against your shoulder blade, still using your finger to brush your clit. You feel your pussy dripping. The fact that he is using your fingers, so perfectly, is perhaps the most sensual thing you have ever done.

You feel his cock stuck in his boxers harden even more as he keeps touching you. You crave to feel him against you, without any fabric between your bodies. You forget your shyness, your reserve, your worries.

“Would you… pull down your boxers? So I can feel you?*

“Of course, sweetheart.” He lets go of your hand to pull down his underwear. His hard cock springs out and this time you feel it fully against you. Big, hard.

“Between my thighs, please…”

He kisses your back and grabs his cock, slides it into this tight space, then comes to rest against your fingers again, in your panties. You slowly move your pelvis back and forth, rubbing yourself against his shaft.

“Christ, sweetheart… Feeling you against me, like that…”

“I know, Joel. It’s… good, really good.”

You no longer remember your fear that this will change things between you. The feeling is too good, too powerful, to think about anything else.

His shaft slides easily between your thighs, your pussy soaking him continuously.

“You’re so wet for me, baby”, he whispers in your ear, and a new flow trickles from your walls. His free hand caresses your shoulder, then he kisses it. You feel his mustache brush your skin, and your moans fill the room.

“You’re gonna come for me, sweetheart?”

“Fuck… fuck yeah, I'm gonna come, Joel.”

He keeps playing with your fingers with the same rhythm, feeling that you are close. Your mind goes blank. You only think about the pressure growing inside you, ready to explode.

“Come on baby, be a good girl for me,” he murmurs.

The orgasm washes over you, and you arch your back under its power, your ass pressed against Joel’s crotch. “Always such a good girl for me,” he praises, holding you against him, your hand in his, until your jerks stop.

Your breathing slowly goes down. “Damn”, you say. “That was so hot.”

“It was,” he smiles, kissing your shoulder. He doesn't ask for more, doesn't put any pressure on you, but you need more. You need your bodies to be one. You don't think too much about it, then add quickly, “Joel… I need to…” before shyness overwhelms you again, and he asks softly “tell me, baby. What do you need?”

The soft tone of his voice reassures you, and you add “I need to feel you… I need to feel you inside me.”

“Turn around, sweetheart. Lemme look at you.”

You do as he says, and face him. You barely see his face in the darkness of the night. Just enough to perceive the intensity in his gaze, behind his usual sweetness with you, as he strokes your cheek gently with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nod, of course. Ready to take whatever he wants to give you. His warm lips land on yours and press against them. You hear him take a deep breath, then his nose rubs yours. He kisses you again, with more intensity, and sensations you thought forgotten forever jostle throughout your whole being. His tongue tastes your lips, then slides between them and finds yours. He moans as your hand grabs his shaft softly, wet with his precum and your desire. You jerk him off slowly as you continue to make out. He's big. So big. But you don't wonder if your body can accept it, after all this time. You know it will. And you know Joel will be soft. You nestle his cock at your entrance after pushing your panties aside, murmuring “I wanna feel you,” your forehead against his.

You tilt your pelvis forward and his tip slides inside you, making you hold your breath for a few moments.

“You’re ok?”

“Yeah. I just have to… get used to it.” 

He doesn’t move and lets you handle the rhythm. You kiss him again, and you feel your pussy dripping, eager to be filled. You put your hand on the back of his neck and squeeze his bicep with the other, sliding further down his shaft. Your walls spread as you glide on his tip and again, you feel that forgotten feeling. Your breasts are pressed against his chest, nipples tense. Your hand runs through his neck, and you feel his prominent veins under your fingers. 

“Oh my god,” you whine, when he is fully inside you. You pull back then push forward again, to reassure his worried eyes on you. You are so wet that the sounds echo in your ears and the whole room. Joel holds you against him, gently, sensually. One hand on your hip, the other on your back.

“Joel?” you ask.

“Tell me, sweetheart.”

“Can you lie down on me? I'd like to feel you deeper.”

He caresses your cheek and tells you yes, of course.

You lie on your back and he removes your panties, kneeling between your thighs.

And he looks at you, from your face to your cunt. "You're beautiful," he says. His stare stops there, then he glances at you. As if he was asking you silently if he could taste you. You nod and he settles between your thighs, spreading your folds with his fingers.

“You're so wet for me, baby,” he adds, before licking your pussy in a long stroke. Pointing his tongue at your clit, then running over your folds again. Your knees are bent, legs spread as wide as possible. His head moves between your offered thighs, your hands lost in his curls, while his tongue laps at your dripping pussy. He pushes two fingers in your core, and places his lips around your clit, sucking it. Then swirls it under his tongue, while his fingers thrust in at a perfect, regular pace.

“Joel,” you whimper. “I'm gonna come again.”

Your nails tighten on his scalp as you come on his tongue, your walls squeezing uncontrollably around his two fingers. He pulls them out and replaces them with his tongue, drinking in everything that flows from you. The feeling is so strong, forgotten for so long, that you feel like you're going to burst into tears. But he stops, careful not to overwhelm you, and lies down between your thighs. He places his hand on your cheek and searches for your eyes before pushing his tip into you with his other hand, eyes lowered to you.

“Damn sweetheart,” he breathes. “You feel so good around me.”

His words envelop you and lull you. His voice is low, calm, as slow and sweet as the rhythm in which he sinks into you.

All his weight is on you and you have never felt so safe in your entire life. His arms surround you as you kiss. Your hands roam the top of his body. His arms, his shoulders, his back, his cheeks, his neck. His cock slides inside you, pushing your walls in the most perfect way with each thrust. Your knees are spread wide to welcome him between your thighs. He straightens up, leaning on one hand, and looks at you. Looks into your eyes filled with desire.

He watches your neck throbbing. Your chest heaving.

He watches where his cock is digging into you.

“I'm not gonna last. Can you give me one more, baby?”

“Yeah, it's... yes.”

He lies back on you, eyes locked on yours, and slides his arms under your shoulders. Your hot, sweaty chests rub against each other. He doesn't take his eyes off you as he thrusts into you, his shaft rubbing exactly where you need it. Your fingers dig into his flesh as you come on his shaft and he stops moving. Eager to keep watching you twitch beneath him, but trying not to come too. Not yet, not inside you. He wants to let you come until the shaking stops. 

He looks at you, and focuses on a mole, chosen at random. To focus on something else, than your pussy perfectly squeezing him. When your trembling finally stops, he grabs his cock hastily, just in time before his cum coats the inside of your thighs and your lower stomach, then his heavy body rests against yours.

“Christ, sweetheart… that was amazing,” he says, smiling at you. You kiss and then nestle against his chest. You feel his heart beat hard, then gradually calm down. You fall asleep without even realizing it.

When you wake up, it’s daylight. The smell of coffee rushes into your nostrils. For a moment, it’s like life is almost normal.

You sit up in bed, holding the blanket against you.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he says. Smiling, warm. Joel.

You smile back at him, thinking that you would like to wake up next to him every single day, from now on. 

Thank you for reading 🙏

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️

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[zriasstuff]

This is a kinda random request but how would the sytherin boys react when they see boxers in your room assuming it’s another guys when it’s actually yours. I wear boxers so i just randomly thought of this. 💗💗

This is actually fire, I gladly imagined how this situation would play out. Although some things go similarly, I tried to differentiate their reactions and actions a little bit. Enjoy this crack :)

Slytherin boys x reader

How come you’ve been in a relationship for some time already and they don’t know that you wear boxers ? God knows, maybe they’ve just had a rough day and all critical thinking tends to fly out the window. Jealousy and fear of losing you are hard emotions to control…

Theodore Nott:

when Theo sees them, he aggressively cups your face and pierces your soul with his hunter like eyes all of a sudden

“that’s one skinny bastard that you’re fucking behind my back, does he even have a dick?”, he refers to your own boxers, that are obviously a few sizes smaller

“Tell me, how come you’re such a slut that having me isn’t enough? you actually have to find yourself a side bitch?”

it took some time to recover from his harsh scolding, but soon enough your brain worked again and spat out the right words

Theo backs up in shock when hearing your explanation that made a lot of sense

As a returning favor he should get a scolding too for immediately jumping to conclusions and not communicating properly, but they’re all a bunch of hotheads anyway

It all turns into a funny anecdote though, which also serves as a reminder for him to trust his girl

Tom Riddle:

as soon as he sees them lying around somewhere his expression becomes stoic, brows furrowed just the tiniest bit and lips pursed

of course you noticed even the slightest change, so you reach for his hand to ask him what was wrong. you remember though that sometimes he just gets stressed because he has so much to think about

without properly getting to know the situation he would want to insult and intimidate you, he immediately fumes and threatens: “you are dead to me, and you are going to regret this”

his words and tone especially made you want to cry, you felt yourself curling up, standing beneath his tall frame, not even knowing what you did

he was not only mad at you, but also at himself for letting his guard down, which led to him being played like a fool. there was nothing more important that his self worth and dignity to him

still, you begged and whined for him to stay and when you finally understood that he saw “another guys” boxers on your floor, you actually scoffed and remained speechless for a while

although he was slightly paranoid that you might be lying to him, he saw how distressed you were when he wanted to break up, and that’s something you can’t fake (he still is very wary though, and has to pretend he didn’t just imagine ways to kill and torture “the other guy”)

Mattheo Riddle:

like his brother, he couldn’t stand the thought of someone hurting him, only the other way around

especially with his abandonment issues too this makes him jump from zero to one hundred

but unlike Tom he actually wants to hear your side, to decide how he should handle this and scorned at you: “for fucks sake, you’ve been cheating on me? I don’t know if you thought I was never going to find out, but keeping his bloody boxers is just disgusting. You care to explain?!”

He even picks them up from your bed, and throws them into a corner, shooting them and you a disgusting look

You don’t appreciate his attitude at all, and if that boy knew that he just threw your own boxers, he’d be down on his knees

You can’t take this seriously and tell him “never seen a girl wear boxers?”, that made things so awkward, and Mattheo quickly apologizes, hopefully you’d forget about this…

Draco Malfoy:

His jealousy promptly get the better of him and he thinks about all the idiots that have tried hitting on you, or ever liked you, which one of them was it?

He couldn’t believe that anyone was worth jeopardizing your relationship, but apparently so

Grabbing you close to him, while pointing at the boxers, he growls “so whose are they huh? Carter? Lewis? You better tell me it’s not that stupid Potter”

While you’re talking, he is still so mad that isn’t even hearing everything that you’re saying, he physically couldn’t calm down when thinking about you jumping into bed with someone else

He would take the boxers too, observing at them closely, and then somewhat sneered “I didn’t know girls also wore boxers”

Draco wouldn’t necessarily be a fan, but came to the conclusion that what you wear under your clothes really wasn’t any of his business

At some point he also wants to see what you look like wearing them, and they actually looked kind of cool

Blaise Zabini:

just like all the others, his thoughts immediately jump to violence, for instance how to get the other guy admitted into the hospital wing

but something makes him stop and think—why wouldn’t you even bother to hide them somewhere? did you think he was so incredibly blind, or did you actually have nothing to hide?

Still his temper gets the best of him and accuses you of being “shameless” and asks if you were trying to insinuate that he “wasn’t good enough” because you’re wrong and he can fuck you better than anyone else

He always thought that everything was going well, so you being unsatisfied was really the last thing he expected

Fortunately everything gets resolved quite easily since you reassure him, and you even tease him about his jealousy

For the rest of the night, Blaise in fact proves that he can fuck you the best. That was the best apology for doubting you in the first place

Lorenzo Berkshire:

He gets extremely upset and has an outburst too, but with a hint of self consciousness, asking you how you could do this to him, when he’s always trying his best

Enzo also relies on guilt, wanting to make you feel like absolute shit, he says stuff like “i gave up being a player for you because I love- loved- you so much, but apparently you see me as nothing

You have to try your hardest to make him see how ridiculous he was being, and he demands you tell him how you would never cheat on him

Seeing you in your boxers for the first time also makes him smirk, you could really rock anything

[thebadboyfanclub]

One Can Only Hope (Cregan x Reader)

First of, I don’t know why this particular song was stuck in my head while I was writing but I think it fits the aesthetic of how the couple works together, also I don’t care that they didn’t pick this actor for me THAT is what Cregan stark looks like, and also sorry for not adding the last detail it just naturally went with a different approach

'may I present my second-born child and my precious only daughter, (y/n) Targaryen, the heiress of driftmark"

(y/n) bowed lightly before the stoic man that it deserves to be noted how thick his fur was which engulfed him, the man nodded as a sign of acknowledgment to the princess and the young heiress (y/n) could swear that she detected a faint smile forming on his lips, to be quite fair no one could tell since the lords' lips were faintly visible due to his distinguished beard, once (y/n)s deep blue eyes met his there was an instant influence on her that cause her to slightly shiver, mostly from anxiety and somewhat fear of the unknown.

(Y/n) could only describe the sensation similar to placing yourself at the very sharp edge of a tall cliff, as one would gaze down at the water the little voice would whisper to take a plunge, release yourself from the shackles of overthinking, whilst your mind begged you to take a step back and forget about all of this.

Unfortunately (y/n) was well aware of the reason why she had to take this long of a flight on dragon back and introduce herself to the new lord of the North, her mother had put a tremendous amount of effort into making this a trip that could be enjoyable too (y/n) but to no avail, she did not blame her mother, ever since she was a toddler (y/n) would catch whispers of numerous people around her castle that would venture on whom she would marry, as the moons passed and (y/n) became a lady the pressure became tighter than her corset.

"judging by the tremble and pink nose you are not accustomed to such a cold environment"

"I'm afraid not, I am willing to try though, if need be"

She suggested as her voice usually would be colourful and loud- something that princess rhaenyra adored- was now barely audible, Rhaenyra dreaded asking this of her only daughter, seven hells the reason she even had (y/n) was because of her failed match that was created under ambition and desperation for allegiance, now she had to bare the curse of the prey becoming the hunter as she set her daughter up in hopes this could bring peace and safety not only to the realm but to their family.

“It is an honor to have the Targaryen family as our guest, I believe last time it was with Queen Alyssane, was it not?”

“Indeed, my lord, though I cannot recall if we have ever United our house bloodline”

“That is correct, such a pity don’t you think Princess Rhaenyra? We must correct that mistake as fast as we can, before all that let me escort you to your chambers, you must rest after such travel”

Cregan's humor was a breath of fresh air for mother and daughter, both of them felt more comfortable through his commentary and light-hearted chatter.

Rhaenyra was extremely thankful that her daughter understood why this must be done if she had to be completely honest with herself partially the reason she chose Cregan as her daughter's match was how the whispers of his strength and his handsome nature made it to the red keep, another thing was a desperate attempt on keeping her daughter guarded, mayhaps if she found refuge in the north of the vicious Hightowers pushed Rhaenyra to war (y/n) would be tucked away and protected by the Lord.

As they walked through the castle Cregan started blabbering about all kinds of things his brain could master, he was certainly nervous when he got the letter from Rhaenyra herself asking for her daughter to be betrothed to him, Targaryen and Starks had, of course, rumors of laying together but never being United in the eyes of the Gods, and to add the fact that the lady is in line for the throne, the wedlock and children would bring such different aspect to his house.

"the lady of the north has to endure the stinging sensation of the icy air, but I believe having a humungous dragon that spews fire on command should help"

Rhaenyra smiled at the slight declaration of interest and almost a very subtle way of claiming their betrothal to be a fact, it was (y/n) 's turn to nod excitedly and let out a small giggle, Cregan was not a man that went unnoticed, young, tall, strong, beautiful, any woman of her status would thank the gods for such a match and a part of her was curious.

Due to the small sign of hope (y/n) careless tucked a strand behind her ear, revealing a part of her to the Lord that he had never seen before.

“Your ear”

He said almost in a question, subconsciously his head tilted in order to get a better view, hastily (y/n) let her hair fall back again, concealing her left ear, flustered and internally cursing herself.

“I don’t believe I have seen something like it before”

“I apologize, I-it is-“

“Unique, I know that Targaryens usually have violet eyes as your mother has, however, I can only guess you found that boring and chose something entirely different, you have quite the taste”

(Y/n)s eyes slightly widen at the kind-hearted nature of Cregan's comment, (y/n) was born with pointy ears, her mother would always jest that it was because the fairies brought (y/n) to her as a gift, others would say that the Targaryens started to blend more with their dragons and that Rhaenyra indulged in blood magic to have the daughter she always wanted.

Gossip and fairytales aside, (y/n) tried her best to conceal that little thing like a well-kept secret that she now had pulled the covers from. Cregan only smiled, (y/n) seemed like a peach on a summer day, full of sweetness, and the nectar could bring back the dead, her smile could make your teeth hurt like how they used to when he ate pie, the pointy ears in his eyes only gave her a boost in her ethereal presence.

Despite that (y/n) had to acknowledge that the man was nothing but a stranger, she had witnessed countless loveless marriages and men that sucked the life out of their wives,  besides all of that she pushed those types of thoughts to the side and masked her dark thoughts for the future with a brave face.

-

"Mother!"

(Y/n) exclaimed as she skipped over to Rhaenyra who rushed to her daughter's side, it had been months since (y/n) had seen her mother, and as content as she was with her new life no one could replace the place Rhaenyra had in her daughter's heart.

"oh my dearest, how lovely it is to see you, take a turn for me let me look at you"

(y/n) let out a snicker at her mother's request even though she complied almost immediately making Rhaenyra nod in approval, to no one’s surprise (y/n) had grown to be a proper lady, her red cape with the thick lining and fur, her hair down and disheveld from riding her dragon, plump red cheeks from eating well, and how could one forget her smile, shining through the realm and blessing her mother with a sigh of relief, Rhaenyra was relieved to say the slightest that her only daughter was taken care of.

"Princess, thank you for inviting us"

"nonsense, I would take any chance to see my baby"

"Mother" (y/n) whispered in embarrassment

"hush now young lady, to me, you will always remain the small babe that curled in my arms, you will know what I'm talking about sooner than late"

"about that, Mother, it might be sooner than you anticipate"

Rhaenyra froze in her spot, her eyes doubling their original size as an audible inhale of breath was heard, (y/n) 's eyes watered and her arms seemed to have a slight tremble whilst she took off her cape to reveal the cutest swollen belly. Rhaenyra stood still for only a second before she wrapped her arms as tight as she possibly could around (y/n) who did the same.

"no, my baby, why didn't you write me about this?"

"I-"

"We wanted to wait this time, I believe you understand, (y/n) wanted to tell you as soon as possible, I advised her not to, forgive me, princess"

Rhaenyra might not have birthed Cregan though she had given birth to (y/n) and that meant that she knew when her daughter was hiding, like now.

(Y/n) wanted to be cautious, after they suffered an early loss of their first baby before her belly could even swell, inevitable fear overtook her, she had refused to ride her dragon for the first three moons and she did her best to remain abed as much as possible.

Thankfully, Cregan shook her out of it, asking her to take a walk as often as his duties allowed him to, he would also attempt to ever so casually bring up how her dragon kept all of the town awake from roaring and complaining, even for this visit  (y/n) only agreed after Cregan offered to get up on the dragon with her so she can feel safe.

"it doesn't matter, all that I care about is that my baby is happy and healthy"

"Don't worry Mother, the north has been extremely good to me"

“For that I am certain, well then, let us celebrate, my little babe is having a little babe”

-

"It is good to see you back and we’ll, my lord"

"it is good to be back, especially with such a catch might I add, tell the cook to prepare the Stagg for supper, give the wild pig for you and the others"

"you are utmost gracious my lord, the princess is waiting for you in your chambers"

"wonderful, do not let anyone disturb us, I wish to stay by her side until supper is served"

Cregan skipped the way into his chambers, he was too caught up in the rush of the hunt and the excitement of reconnecting with his lady wife to notice the nods and stiff giggles of the servants and guards.

He didn't bother to knock, even if he was indecent there was nothing he hadn't seen, secretly he hoped to see her swollen belly bare, as it grew bigger Cregan had adored to kiss on her belly and rub it as he felt the kicks and moves of their child, together they would make plans for the future, like making sure the babe receives an egg for their cradle or getting a wolf cub as a pet.

"my de-"

"shush, you'll wake her"

medusa had cast her spell over Cregan as his eyes focused on the most extraordinary sight, his lady wife holding their babe while she sat up in their bed. (y/n) had never looked more beautiful in his eyes, her hair falling past her shoulders as her arms wrapped around the child and her big eyes sparkling with joy.

The baby was wrapped in a white blanket and (y/n) slightly rocked it, it almost could fool someone that (y/n) had already given birth to numerous children by the graciousness in her moves, Cregan could pull a chair and watch this for the rest of his days, alas his curiosity and excitement rushed him to her side, sitting right next to his lady wife in awe.

"bless me, when did this happen?"

"last morrow, the labors started hours after you left"

"my strong dragon, you did this without me, I must admit I am slightly wounded"

"I did not want to send someone until I delivered her, make sure she is fine and all"

if it was humanly possible Cregan would swear he could hear her trembling heart, as her pleading eyes uncovered the insufferable pain she went through that held hands tightly with distress and a splash of grief.

(Y/n) ached for the babe she had lost, wondering if it had been a boy to a girl, if it would have their father's eyes, or if they would prefer music over hunting, Cregan felt helpless, watching his love suffer as he also grieved in silence, though now it did not matter, the gods took mercy on them.

At just the perfect queue, the small babe cooed pulling both of them out of their trance, simultaneously the pair looked down at the fruit of their ever-growing bond with humungous smiles and cloudy eyes.

"she is gorgeous, once you fully heal we will throw a feast, I'll send some of my best men for a hunt, you should write to your mother, and ask her if she can find Dornish wine-"

"my lord, let us enjoy her before we present her to the realm, she is barely a morrow old"

"she is a princess, our princess"

"Precisely, our princess, come lay with us"

as much as (y/n) comprehends the weight of duty and the strict order of customs that came with such wonderful news, she had grown up with a mother who had wrapped her and her siblings with a cloak to protect their childhood years, allowing them to be kids amid chaos and now it was her time to step up and build a fort that kept her happy and safe.

Cregan puffed out a breath of defeat before he complied and climbed as carefully as a man of his statue could

“Let me see, oh perfect”

“She will grow out of it”

“She better not, maybe the next one can have slit eyes as well”

“My love, I do not believe I can give birth to a full dragon”

“One can only hope”

Cregan jested as (y/n) laughed, the young babe had inherited her mother's ears, Cregan would often brush (y/n) 's hair away from her face to take a look at her ears, or brush his fingers over them as she laid her head on his chest at night, sometimes (y/n) would slap away his hand while he roared with laughter, others she would just bask in his admiration, thanking whoever took favor in her and gave her the man that loved her, pointy ears and all.

Requests are open!

[anantaru]

— their favorite kind of pda (public display of affection)

including kaeya, diluc, kazuha, kaveh, alhaitham, scaramouche, baizhu, heizou x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, crack, very sweet n cute

kaeya likes when it's you who's initiating it instead, when now— you're suddenly looping your hand into his arm and tugging him a bit close too, so you would awkwardly bump into each other and laugh it off afterwards, so that even in the middle of the night, everyone could see and recognize how madly in love the both of you were. another part was the immediate reaction of kaeya, how he‘s trying to play off becoming all flustered, still not addressing it, while his arm was closing around you further until you‘re practically smushed into each other while forgetting where you even wanted to go in the first place. oh, right, good hunter! on the way to eat a good meal, yet kaeya thinks it might be better to take some food home so you could continue your little cuddle session more throughout.

when it comes to master diluc, he— in all his luminosity, adores placing his palm against your lower back. all things considered was it a subtle kind of shifting which you personally did not mind. diluc wasn't a fan of having a dozen pairs of eyes fixated on him, nor on his relationship with you— yes, he couldn't possibly stop it from happening but he at least tried to give nothing away regarding you both, what you were doing wasn't to be anyones business, ever. yet regardless of such, he would never leave an opportunity untouched of showing the public that you're the one who claimed his heart. diluc has the chance now and tenderly placing his palm on your lower back was a perfect motion which would bring the both of you an immediate swift of love and contentment.

kazuha was someone who was never really thinking about it more throughout nor did he never feel like he must show anything of that sorts to the public eye. so, when he meets up with you he'd be very spontaneous with it as well, you could never guess on what it's going to be today or what the man was planning. occasionally he'd get a hold of your hand, or start twirling you around, place his palms on your cheeks and humorously squeeze or add a little peck on the tip of your nose. whatever the case, it was your clear-out favorite, one of his most dearest traits, his spontaneous nature and how he implemented it into your relationship with such ease, this man truly had captured your heart and you won't ever take it away from him.

your sweet boyfriend kaveh was a sucker for holding your hand while sauntering through sumeru city— while, you had to be certain, he'd never let go of you. call it being a small quantity of a protective emotion that would fuel your boyfriends desire to have your palm on his for the entire duration of your meet up. keep in mind, sometimes he doesn't even realize he's still holding onto you and you have to remind him that "love, can you let go of my hand for a bit?" so you could stretch and turn, getting rid of the little burn coming from kaveh's strong grip. "w-why?" would be the next thing you'd hear from him— while now, it's assurance which you were counting on the utmost, because in truth you couldn't get enough of him holding your hand either.

it was quite new for alhaitham to ease into the entire relationship sphere and its supposed doings to consider. for you personally, he can take as much time as he required as long as he was wholly comfortable and happy. while the scribe wasn't a man of big words, he had now, developed a habit of parting his arm for you whenever he was fully engaged and locked into an intriguing new book. lets picture this, you're visiting him after a busy day, while he wouldn't say much he'd now open his arm automatically so you could snugly cuddle yourself into him, slant your cheek into his chest while feeling his tranquil heart beat against your skin as alhaitham carried on to page through his book, which was now, he realizes, a little bit more difficult.

scaramouche wouldn‘t admit it to you, ever, don‘t even think he might consider telling you that, yes, he in fact adores when you catch him entirely off guard and put a little kiss on his cheek— just one, subtle and tender peck on his squishy skin. the next you knew is how he‘s awkwardly averting his gaze and viewing the other direction, just doing something so you wouldn‘t notice the obvious red tint on his milky skin, how the moonlight was glaring right down on it and accentuating his mess of a reaction to you. how come he‘s already longing for another kiss? hidden underneath the night, scaramouche realized it‘s a scenario which certainly had already been written in a romance novel, but it‘s making him feel warm and secured, so he might return the favor now.

you were sure of it, truly, that baizhu had a sweet craving on having you on his lap as much as possible. first of all, it requires no engagement of his own limbs and muscles, he can leisurely stay seated on his work desk while you're taking place— one arm around his neck while you kept the other to yourself or decided to play with his hair. second of all, baizhu could now, talk to you while simultaneously further engage in his research and work load. but not only that, it can also go the exact opposite direction, he especially adored it when out in public, when you're having a sweet picnic and it's baizhu now lowering his head on your lap, so he could rest for a little bit while surrounded by both your scent and the soft melodies of nature— maybe you'll even slant your digits through his hair again, jokes aside, he hopes you'd do it.

how many different kinds of versions regarding pda were accessible to your ordinary person? the pretty detective heizou would make sure to try all of them at least once. your boyfriend thinks it‘s to enjoy and taste each and every thing in life, so why would he only set himself to one of it? in the beginning, heizou will start with holding your hand, testing the waters, while later he‘ll be all over you, mix and matching everything into another. lets say you‘re suddenly meeting a friend, don‘t think he‘d leave you guys to it, heizou will hug you from behind while resting his head on your shoulder, he‘s a perfect smooth-talker and will flawlessly engage himself into the conversation. it‘s known to the public eye that the both of you are inseparable, only showing up as a pair and now you‘re showing it too.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 7: It's Not A Date

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you neve expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team.  (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy.

Word Count: 4K

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), sexism, swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendo, sexual tension. Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

A/N: This chapter is just a little bit smaller than the others and it's a little bit of a filler, but I promise that it is preparing for the coming angst!

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

“I can’t believe you let him around those children. What were you thinking?” Annie asks wielding a curling iron like a sword. "He's a terrible influence!"

It was t-minus one hour and thirty minutes before the party started and Annie was doing your hair and makeup for the mission. Butcher decided that Ben and you would infiltrate and see if you could find anything suspicious inside, while Butcher, Frenchie, and Mm watched the streets outside the building.

Your chair was turned away from the scuffed vanity in Hughie's bedroom at the apartment the team shared. Why he had that you weren't sure, but you figured it must be for Annie. Her makeup bag, hair spray, gel, cream, curler, flat iron, and other paraphernalia was littering the soft butter colored top. There were more things sitting there than you knew the names of.

Annie had always been better at things like that than you. She'd done your hair and makeup for every high school dance and date you went on, so you'd agreed to let her do your hair and makeup for the mission. Not to mention you trusted her not to make you look too over the top or absolutely ridiculous.

As soon as she had gotten you into Hughie's bedroom she had practically pounced on you, demanding to know everything about the past few days that you had spent living in the apartment with Ben. You'd foolishly told her that you'd had to babysit the Wilson's children last night and she was horrified that you let them anywhere near him.

Granted you also would have had the same reaction if someone had told you that they had let Soldier Boy around little children.

But he wasn't terrible to them. You think to yourself. He was actually kind of sweet. It was the first time that you'd ever associate that word with Ben, but you believed that it was true. You remember how he sat with Marty at the kitchen table and allowed her to make a friendship bracelet for him. A bracelet, that he hadn't thrown away, despite what he'd told you after she gave it to him. You'd found it on the sink in the bathroom this morning when you got up, given a place of honor in the ceramic jewelry dish you used for your bracelets.

After Ben had gone out on his "date" you'd cleaned up, made your last cup of noodle, and then went to bed hoping to forget exactly what Ben was doing. The problem was that you were disappointed and you had no idea why. You'd tossed and turned thinking about Ben and the time you'd spent together watching the kids, until finally falling into an unsatisfying slumber.

Ben had sauntered through the front door at 3 am smelling like perfume and sweat, his hair tousled and standing up like someone had ran their fingers through it, while you were drinking a calming herbal tea from your favorite mug at the kitchen table in a post-nightmare haze. You'd had them your whole life following the accident that took the lives of your parents and was thankful that one hadn't hit when Ben was home. You didn't want to explain to him why you had woken up screaming and gasping for air just as you’d done since you were twelve years old.

When you'd first moved in to the apartment and you'd had the nightmare, Mike had banged against your front door, shouting for you to answer. He'd thought that someone was trying to kill you in the middle of the night, but you'd explained to him that you had nightmares and that you were okay.

The next time it happened, Mike's mother had left a large basket of herbal tea and homemade muffins outside the door of your apartment. Even though the muffins were almost inedible, it was incredibly sweet. You might not have wanted to date Mike, but he and his mother were some of the sweetest people you'd ever met.

When he saw you up, Ben had made a comment about you waiting up for him and stated that he was ready to go again if that's what you wanted, but you'd only waved your hand and rolled your eyes while taking another sip from the mug. You weren’t in the mood, not when you could still feel the chill of sweat against your skin and hear the sound of metal on concrete from the dream. He had sat at the table across from you and asked why you were still awake, you'd lied and told him that you couldn't sleep. You knew that he knew you were lying, but he only shrugged and went to take a shower while you finished your tea and fled to your bedroom to avoid him coming out in a towel again.

"He wouldn't leave. What was I supposed to do? Make him walk the plank?" You respond as Annie inserts the warm curling iron into your hair.

"He's just so-" She tugs your hair back as she curls it.

"It wasn't as bad as you think.” You consider thinking about how he let Martha make him a friendship bracelet and how he had held Joshua and made Joshua laugh. "He was actually kind of nice to Marty and to Josh.”

"Nice? Are you crazy! The guy's got a nuclear reactor in his chest and an uncontrollable temper. Why do you think it would be okay for him to be around children?”

"He didn't get angry or lose control. And I can't believe you're chastising me about this, the other day you were all for Ben and me sleeping together!"

"That wouldn't involve children." She takes another piece of your hair, gently wrapping it around the curling iron.

"Yeah, but it would still be him close to another human being-"

“He seems to be perfectly in control when he has sex. Or else there would be a string of destroyed apartments all over manhattan.”

"I can't believe you." You huff.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Have you guys kissed again?" She asks.

"I shouldn't have told you that." You grumble under your breath. "And can you keep your voice down? Ben can hear you."

He was in his old bedroom getting ready for the mission. The bedroom was exactly next to Annie and Hughie's bedroom, and you were sure that he was listening to Annie and you talk.

Because he can't keep his big nose out of anything. You think. Or rather can't keep his perfectly structured nose out of other people's business.

"I'm sure he has better things to do than listen to the two of us talk." Annie responds, but she begins to blast the ABBA gold album from her Bluetooth speaker, filling the room with the sound of 'Our Last Summer' "Come on-"

"Come on what?" You open one of your eyes to glare at her. "I told you it wasn't going to happen again."

"Why not?"

"You know why not. Ben is- Ben. And I don't want to waste my time with someone who's not interested in having a relationship." You shut your eye again to avoid her gaze.

"It's not a waste of time if he looks like that-" She trails off, inserting the curling iron one more time.

"I will agree that Ben is good-looking, but that's all he is. He doesn't care about other people, he only cares about himself and what feels good." You say it, but for the first time since you'd met Ben you weren't sure if it was true. Not after he spent his entire day yesterday helping you with the kids and not after he had bought you that bookshelf.

He cared enough to get that for you. A little voice whispers. But why? You wonder again. Why would he care about something as little as a bookshelf?

"You're making that face again." Annie says. "Did something happen?"

"No. I mean- he-" You sigh to yourself. "He keeps confusing me."

"How?"

"Well the other day he bought me a bookshelf."

"What? Why?"

"Because he said that stack of books in my bedroom was annoying him." You roll your eyes behind your eyelids.

"Why was he in your bedroom?" Annie's smirk is audible and you feel your cheeks heat.

"Shut up. He needed some clothes and I had some from the last time Darren stayed with me-"

Annie audibly groans when you mention your brother's name. They didn't get along. She thought that he was manipulative and that he used you. But you didn't see it. He was your brother, your blood, the only family you had left beside your grandmother and Annie.

"Please tell me he's not coming by soon. If he does I will be busy doing anything else."

"I don't know why the two of you can't just get along-" You sigh.

"Because he's the worst." Annie states loudly, dropping the curling iron and bringing the mascara brush up to your eyes.

"Can we please not have this conversation again?"

"Fine. Close." Annie holds up the mascara brush to your eyes. "Did you at least join one of those online dating apps or try to go on a date?"

"It’s been 3 days since we last talked about this-“ You feel the gentle stroke of the brush against your eyelashes.

“So?”

“No I haven’t.”

"Y/n-"

"I know, I know. I mean Jake did try to ask me out the other day but-"

"He WHAT?" Annie squeals, awkwardness about your brother forgotten. "Next time lead with that! Did you go out with him? Did you guys talk all night long?" Annie is hoping from foot to foot now, practically dancing to the music still blasting from the speaker on the dresser.

"I said no." You open your eyes to look at your friend.

"WHAT! Why?" She looks like you kicked a puppy. "He's so perfect for you! He likes plants and he's funny and he's got a great sense of humor, plus he's gorgeous and he's interested in you-"

"First he wanted to do something today and I knew Butcher had plans for me. Second, I didn't know he was asking me out, Ben told me he was." You close your eyes again so Annie can continue to do your makeup.

"Wait, Ben was there when he asked you out?" 

"We went to IKEA to get a couch for the apartment and Jake showed up and asked me out." You explain.

"You took Ben to IKEA?"

"He'd never gone there before, can you believe that?" It made you smile as you remembered how surprised he had been when you went inside. You’d had fun with him, walking around, testing out the couches, it almost felt… normal. And you kind of got the impression that Ben had a good time too. It was kind of cute when he did everyday things, when you saw him in normal settings and he was just a little bit awkward because he still couldn't figure out how to act in another time period.

"Yes I can, he's a million years old. Let's circle back to you saying no to the PERFECT man."

"He's not a million." You defend Ben. "And Jake's not perfect." You frown to yourself, thinking about the fact that Jake wasn't a supe. It wasn't something that you had cared about before, but ever since Ben brought up the idea of you "snapping Jake in half" it scared you.

Because what if I did? What if I hurt him? You didn’t know how Ben had sex so often with people who weren't supes. Maybe he just doesn't care if he does. Or maybe he’s done it so much that he’s able to control himself.

"What do you mean? I thought you liked him?"

"I mean I do. He's kind and he understands me and he loves plants as much as I do, but-" You shrug, feeling Annie begin to apply eyeliner. "I don't want to make things complicated. I mean we work together, he’s my boss. What if it doesn’t work out? Then I’d have to quit and I like my job.”

“I mean that’s kind of hot-“

“Hot in what? A sexual harassment kind of way?”

“No. It’s not harassment if it’s two consenting adults.”

“I’m still not sure that it’s a good idea.” You mutter more to yourself. But this time your mind didn’t go to Jake and you having a relationship even though he was your boss, instead it goes right to Ben. You can't help but slip into the fantasy of dating Ben, of you and him trying something new-

You shake off the image. He doesn’t want a relationship, doesn’t think that’s important. The thought is almost like a mantra, trying to convince yourself to push past Ben’s charm and good looks, but this time it makes you consider something else. Maybe he doesn’t think it’s important now, but maybe he used to think it was before Countess.

You’d heard the stories, seen the newspaper articles and clips of film of Ben and her together, remembered what Hughie said that Ben had wanted a family with her that Ben had told her that he loved her. That meant at some point in Ben’s life he had loved someone else, cared for them, wanted to be more than just fuck buddies.

Maybe he's just afraid to fall again, because he's not sure someone else will be there to catch him. Maybe Ben doesn't want to admit that he cares for anyone else because he's afraid that they'll push him away or stab him in the back the way that Countess did. And maybe he hides it all underneath the macho attitude.

Ben is strong. He told me that he didn't need anyone else. You press your lips together in a tight line. But I think he does.

You hated that she’d hurt him. You hated that she’d pushed him away, told him she never loved him, and stabbed him in the back. You couldn’t imagine doing that to someone, telling them that you loved them, and manipulating them with the promise of love. It almost made you nauseous to consider it. It made you want to travel back in time to the moment she stabbed him in the back and shove a bouquet of sunflowers up where the sun don't shine.

You pause on the thought. You weren't a terribly violent person, but if someone ever hurt your friends your anger was legendary, practically divine. You'd never thought that you'd want to do something for Ben, but you were realizing more and more that Ben was becoming your friend. You weren't sure how you felt about that.

“Alright what if he wasn’t your boss.” Annie gently brushes eyeshadow over your eyelids. “Then would you go out with him?”

“But he is my boss.”

“Use your imagination.”

The song has ended and there’s an awkward pause between the end of it and the slow beginning of the next one.

“I mean yes?” You shrug. “I can see myself with him. He’s the kind of person I’d want to date. He cares about other people, he remembers what kind of coffee I like, he actually contributes to the conversation, he makes me laugh, he actually gets my jokes, he’s nice to sit with, he doesn’t get under my skin-“ As you list each of those things you couldn't stop your mind from comparing Jake to Ben. You didn't know when Ben became the level by which you judged other men, but it had happened sometime in the past few days and you didn't know what it meant.

But Ben did remember what kind of coffee I like and he does contribute to conversations, well, he contributes with a disgusting comment… The thought trails off when you remember the small conversations that you'd had with Ben that weren't sexual in nature, when the two of you watched the movie on the couch and talked briefly about your parents, when Ben asked you how your day was the other day back at the apartment, and when the two of you talked on the couch while the children slept between the two of you. In those moments you had seen another side of Ben, the side that he seemed to hide away from everyone else, but not from you, not all the time.

Plus Ben is kind of funny sometimes, disgusting but funny. Doesn’t understand my jokes. And yes he gets under my skin but sometimes it’s kind of exciting and nice to have that happen. With Jake sometimes he’s just too happy or too eager to agree with me.

"Hmm." Annie considers. "How did Ben react when Jake asked you out?”

You don’t answer immediately. “Normal.”

"You hesitated"

"No I didn’t."

"Yes you did! He reacted didn’t he?!” Annie pokes you with her finger

"No he didn’t.” You lie.

“He did! Holy shit he was jealous wasn’t he?”

"No he wasn’t.” You swat her hand away. "He was just opinioned."

He sure looked jealous. You think to yourself remembering the way he glared at Jake from the other side of the room. The memory of the way his eyes darkened when he told you exactly why he wasn't jealous and exactly what he would do to you to make you forget all about Jake sends an involuntary shiver down your spine.

"Yeah. Opinionated over why you shouldn't go out with Jake because Ben wants you all to himself." Annie crows.

"Shut-"

"But it doesn't matter. Because Ben's going to have a heart attack when he sees you wearing this." Annie steps back from you. "My work here is done. Try to make it to the mission without ripping each other's clothes off."

"We are not going to-"

Annie spins your chair back to the mirror and your next words dry up.

Your hair is perfectly curled back from your face, the lipstick is a dark shade of crimson that makes your lips look fuller and more plump, the eye make up is dark and dusky making the color of your eyes pop against the darkness in a mysterious alluring way that seems almost hypnotic, and your face is shaded and contoured so well that you look dangerous and sexy.

"I'll take the silence as a 'Thank you Annie! You're so beautiful and talented and you're the best friend I've ever had!'" She laughs, standing back behind you with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I mean all of that is true, but-" You stand up from the chair to get a better look. "You've really outdone yourself."

"Well thank you. Had to. It's your first date with Ben." She makes goo-goo eyes and you try to punch her in the shoulder, but she dodges it.

"Shut up. It's not." You look down at the dress that Butcher picked out for you to wear. "I love you, but I hate Butcher."

The dress was a red scrap of fabric that clung to your curves, but left very little to the imagination. It was completely backless with an exaggerated wrinkle that fell just over the top of your ass. The front was sinched at the back of your neck secured only by a small piece of fabric that you were afraid would break at any moment and fell open in a "v" that stopped just under the swell of your breasts. There was a large prominent slit that cut up the left side of the floor length gown that stopped just shy of the top of your thigh. Annie had cinched a black choker around your neck to match the black pair of stilettos you wore

Personally, you though that the stilettos were overkill, you had no idea how the hell you were going to run after the supe if you saw him, let alone fight him.

"You look so hot." Annie says pleased. "You really should wear that all the time babe. I'd take you out to dinner just to show you off."

"You're the worst." You groan.

"I love you too honey." She winks. "Now come on. Butcher and the others are waiting for us." She turns off the speaker and walks out the door of the bedroom, but you linger there, looking at yourself in the mirror one more time.

You'd never worn anything remotely like this before, but even you had to admit, you looked good.

“Come on Poppet. You can’t hide in there forever.” Butcher chuckles from the living room.

He’s having too much fun with this. You huff to yourself finally leaving the bedroom to make your grand entrance, grabbing the black bejeweled clutch as you do.

Butcher, Frenchie, Annie, and Hughie are waiting outside the door while Kimiko sits on the couch scribbling away.

Hughie's mouth drops open,  Butcher gives an approving shrug, and Frenchie lets out a breath.

"You look beautiful." Frenchie takes your hand and gives you an appreciative twirl.

"Shut up." Your cheeks redden.

Hughie is still looking speechless at you. "I told you." Annie states elbowing him with a proud smile.

“You look-“ Hughie stutters.

“Good enough to eat.” Ben finishes, appearing in the hallway to your right. His hand traces the curve of your hip, thumb ghosting over your bare back.

“Just because I’m dressed like a hooker, doesn’t mean my brain’s not working.”  You slap his hand away ignoring the warm feeling that remains where he touched you. You could feel your heart beat begin to pick up in your chest.

“Baby I love your brain-“ Ben smiles, eyes tracing your figure. “But I’ll be damned if I don’t love your body more.”

You felt your cheeks turn the same shade as your dress with his compliment before you can stop them. It was difficult to pretend that you didn't feel any attraction for him, not when he looked so good.

He had trimmed his beard and brushed back his dark hair, so you could see his emerald colored eyes gleaming. He was wearing a black suit with a white button up shirt, but chose not to wear a black tie, instead unbuttoning the top few buttons to give just a hint of his muscular chest beneath.

Why does he have to look so good all the damn time?

“Shut up.” You grumble turning back to Butcher. “So are you happy? I dressed up, my IQ dropped a billion points.”

“Ecstatic poppet.” Butcher grins taking a sip from the cup of tea in his hand. “Now remember anything happens, you detain the supe, no killing."

“He’s talking to you.” You elbow Ben.

Ben shrugs. “I won't apologize for doing my job."

You sigh again and walk towards where Kimiko is writing in one of her workbooks on the couch. 

"You look hot." She signs at you.

It had been difficult to learn the sign language she used, but you liked to think that you had a handle on it so you could understand simple conversations. When things got too confusing she would use her phone.

"I know. I was mad at Butcher at first for picking this dress, but I kind of like it." You sign back. "Don’t tell Butcher I said that."

She crosses her fingers over her heart. "Soldier Boy is looking at you."

"He’s always looking at me. I'm glad I can't read minds. I don’t want to know what he’s thinking."

Kimiko snorts, raising her hand to sign "I think the look on his face says it all."

You half turn and look at where Ben is again, he’s not talking to Butcher like you thought he was, he’s staring at you, pupils dilated, eyes darkening in a way that makes your heart feel like it's beating so hard it'll explode out of your ribcage.

No. No. Keep it together. Heart of a warrior.

"You two have fun!" Annie smirks widely, taking a picture of Ben and you like you're going to prom and you know she's going to send the photo to taunt you with it later.

“Shall we?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Ladies first.” Ben smirks.

 You roll your eyes at him as you walk to the front door of the apartment. “Don’t pretend to be a gentleman Gramps. We both know you just want to look at my ass.”

“I’ll never get tired of looking Doll, especially not when you’re wearing something like that.”

A/N: I know this chapter is a little bit of a filler, but I wanted to give Annie and the reader some time together, aka. Annie telling the reader to do the one thing that we ALL know she should do. 😂

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @corruptedcruiser @winchesterwild78 @the-super-who-locked-wizard

@criminalyetminimal @52ndstreeet @bitchykittenconnoisseur @anna6307 @libby99hb

@faephoria @possiblyafangirl @jqtaro @quietlybitchy @tinydancer40

@roger-that-cap @megara0224 @miskwaadesiwag @rainyeggvoidpurse

@soldiergrimes @tiffsbagels @podiumackles

@ifyouwerethemoon @ririshkin @peachhiz @fitxgrld @sukunassfinger

@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @ej13928 @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @modiddys-blog

@acciosherlockholmes @minas-fantasies @fireskyy

@n-o-p-e-never @nesnejwritings @am0rem @tpwkcalli @momggn

@fitxgrld @whimsicalcherry

[extinctionstories]

What Remains, an 8x10 gouache painting and accompanying poem, inspired by specimen no. 7866, a Carolina Parakeet mount held in the collection of the Charleston Museum. I was able to view six preserved parakeets during my visit, but I was deeply moved by this one: in too poor of condition to be publicly displayed, stripped of feathers and provenance—its identity lost to time, just as its species has been.

Excerpted from my art book Grasping at Feathers.

(transcript and commentary under the cut.)

Shadow surrounds a doused candle,* Forgotten at the back of a drawer.

Pot pot chee, Puzzi-la-née,** Head-of-Yellow, once blazing: A raucous flame that licked through summer orchards, And set the gray boughs of winter aglow, Warmed by the soft nuzzle of clustered wings.

All that remains is this: A cracked and peeling thing; An inanimate amalgam of plaster and shellac; Flecked green with arsenic;*** Fraying feathers of faded straw.

Who is left that can remember? That can say for certain, That this dusty relic, Was ever anything more?

We have lost our parrot, Our only, only, only.

We let this wonder slip through our fingers; What more will we forget

* I always come back to the image of the Carolina Parakeet as a candle, inspired by the Christmas tree eyewitness account.

** native Seminole names for the parakeet

*** arsenic was the first effective method found of protecting taxidermy specimens against insects, and was used expansively throughout the 19th and early 20th century. Specimens of this age should not be handled without gloves.

**** The Carolina Parakeet was America’s only native endemic parrot. The last known individual died in the Cincinnati Zoo in 1918, and the species was declared extinct in 1939.

Specimen no. 7866 is of unknown age, sex, and geographical origin. In the late 19th century, many hunter-collectors shot large quantities of birds for the purpose of selling them to museums, and in many cases records of their kills were either lost or not made in the first place. Based on my research, it is likely that this bird came from Florida in the late 1890s, but this cannot be confirmed with certainty.

[rocktavian]

One of the things I appreciate about Hollow Knight is the subtle distinctions in the design of each area of the map, and the way that those differences have such an impact on the moment-to-moment feel of being in those places.

What particularly resonates with me is the shades of difference between the three remotest major regions of the map: Deepnest, the Ancient Basin, and Kingdom's Edge. All three share an overall hostile and unsettling feeling, but their respective airs of menace manifest in different ways:

Deepnest wants you dead. Its tunnels are dark, mazelike, and claustrophobic, and when you're in them you're being hunted. Dirtcarvers attack from the ground, Little Weavers attack from the sky. You can't trust the floor to hold beneath your feet. You can't trust a corpse to stay dead. You can't trust your own reflection. Deepnest wants to back you into a corner and eat you and it will not let you forget it.

The Ancient Basin is dead. Airless, nearly empty, nearly silent. In most of the region, the only life you will see is Shadow Creepers, slow and mindless creatures that (per the Hunter's Journal) have never been known to eat or drink. If you dig deep enough you can find the vestiges of life – a lighthouse long abandoned, the vast emptiness where a palace once stood – but even these are few and far between. If the Ancient Basin were to blink into nonexistence, who but you would ever notice?

Kingdom's Edge does not care whether you live or die. Everything in this region is primal and inexorable. It's carved out of irregular cliff faces and yawning chasms over pits of acid. The Hoppers march incessantly forward, turning around occasionally but never stopping or changing their behavior; the Colosseum is equally perpetual, a continuous baying for blood that dumps its corpses ceaselessly into the pits below. Kingdom's Edge will not attack you, but nor will it protect you. Faced with the onslaught of Aspids and Belflies and stalactites, you can carve out a space (as Oro did), or you can get overwhelmed and succumb (as Markoth did). Either way – whether you live or you die – it's your own fault.

The experiences of being in each of these places is totally different. But all three give me that skin-crawling curiosity of "I'm not supposed to be here, but I can't look away."

[aurora-starwars]

An angst request coming up. Reader is Jake and Neytiri's oldest daughter but is barley acknowledged. Jake is to busy teaching Neteyam and Lo'ak and Neytiri is to busy with Kiri and Tuk. They treat her more as a distant relative than anything, but she does everything they tell her to do because she believes that will make them see her. When they come to the Metkayina clan she becomes more of an outcast and keep to herself. She gets teased and harassed by Ao'nung and his gang, the same way they did to Kiri, but no one comes to her rescue. They notice that her family doesn't help her and starts to be nice and inviting her with them. The this whole scene where her siblings finds out and feels betrayed by her.

Betrayal Is The Only Truth That Sticks

Pairing: Sully Family x fem!reader

Summary: Sully family ignores reader for most her life, until her life starts to get better in the Metkayina clan as they take her under their wing

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Cussing, angst, name calling, they are mean to reader?

A/n: Y’all this is a long one, took a lot of time so let me know what you think! Thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy! <33333

Part 2: Betrayal Is An Inherent Part Of Love

Masterlist

[Name] took a deep breath, she was leaving her home. Her home, the forest, all she had ever known retreating behind her as she joined her family in the sky. She knew why they were leaving, she did, but that did not stop the stinging in her chest at the thought of leaving. Now that they were in the sky, it all became so real. The crisp air was a sharp reminder of the life she was leaving behind.

Blinking back tears, she was brought back to the time she spent in the forest as a kid. Her younger brother–Neteyam, only younger by a year–chasing her and Kiri as they struggled to run away. She almost smiled to herself, things were easier back then. There were few memories she had as a kid that lacked the heart wrenching feeling she had become accustomed to.

She hardly remembers it but she knew when Kiri and Neteyam were born, her parents were elated. Another child to share their love with, how exciting. Thats what [Name] thought as well, until they started to take up all of their time. That makes sense though, they were babies after all. But none of that seemed to change as time went on. Even as Neteyam and [Name] were being taught to hunt, Neteyam seemed to be favoured. Long hunts where [Name] would catch three fish and Neteyam one, were often ‘teaching moments’ for Jake and Neytiri.

They knew that Neteyam had do be hunter if he was to be the future Olo'eyktan, so they took special care in teaching him. Kiri, almost from the moment she opened her eyes, had an connection with Eywa. The girl was already a miracle, coming out of the body of Dr. Grace Augustine. But when all of the Ikrans around them started to protect her tiny baby body out of the blue one day when she was crying, they knew that she must be trained to be the next Tsahik.

All of this [Name] could forgive and forget, and she almost did, until Lo’ak was born. [Name] had an understanding that Kiri and Neteyam would always have most of their parents attention, so when Lo’ak was born, she was more than ready to give him the attention she didn’t get. But Lo’ak almost seemed to get more attention than the other three, even when he was no longer a baby. Lo’ak was always trying to “live up to his brother”, although his brother never kept him from the attention from his loved ones. When [Name] finally realized that Lo’ak was getting more attention despite ‘being the outcast’, that’s when that all too familiar feeling set in, she was never going to be the centre of attention.

[Name] was in no way bad at anything, not in the slightest. She had no problems picking up all of the things she was taught as a hunter. No, the problem came when she wasn’t the best at anything she did. Despite being taught the same things as Neteyam and Lo’ak, she never seemed to be anything other than average. She made most of her targets with almost exact accuracy, but, unlike her brothers, she wasn’t as fast or as precise. Her lack of struggle or brilliance with any of the skills she had meant a lack of praise or extra practice time with her parents, and thus less attention.

One might think that [Name] had jealousy for her sibling success, Kiri training to be the next Tsahik, despite that being [Name]’s natural role as the oldest daughter or even Neteyam’s future mate’s; and Lo’ak and Neteyam becoming better and better warriors with the help of their parents. But [Name] never was jealous, she could only find pride in herself when she watched her siblings succeed. She only wished to have a sliver of the attention.

So, [Name] became silent, never making a fuss as she was left to fade into the background of her family’s lives. While her sibling were off training with their parents, [Name] was left to practice her skills on her own. [Name] remembers getting better at making flower crowns, beading, using a bow and increasing her strength. But none of that ever mattered. Even when [Name] decided to make her family flower crowns, she couldn’t have been older than eight, they hardly bothered to thank her. Instead favouring the hammock, where they all snuggled close. [Name] tried every time to be in the middle, but no matter how hard she tried, she was always at the edge.

Things only seemed to look up when Tuk was born. Everyone was overjoyed when it was announced that Neytiri had given birth to another health baby girl. Tuk was unbelievably loving from the start, loving all of her siblings equally. [Name] was just happy that she could share her love with her bright-eyed sister. When Tuk was young, [Name] would often take Tuk into the forest to teach her how to make flower crowns. One day, they had come back with enough for the whole family. Everyone was delighted, praising Tuk for her work, even after Tuk told everyone that [Name] had taught her. Although it stung a little, she was happy for Tuk and was proud at her skills in flower weaving.

But as all good thing do, the time of Tuk and [Name]’s hanging out had seemed to come to an end. Kiri and Lo’ak were spending more and more time out in the forest with Spider and Tuk had decided that she didn’t want to miss it. [Name] couldn’t blame her, she never wanted to miss spending time with her family either. Once again, [Name] was left to train and explore on her own.

[Name] let out a sigh, it had only been a hour and she was already tired of flying. The air only grew cooler as they began flying above the great expanse of water that was the ocean of Pandora. Taking in a deep breath, [Name] tried to shake the thoughts of her childhood out of her head as they only exhausted her. As [Name] exhaled, her Ikran exhaled as well and she was reminded of the time [Name] and her brothers attacked the sky people’s train.

It had been a few weeks of coordinated attacks on the sky people’s supply shipments and Jake had allowed [Name], Lo’ak, and Neteyam to scout for them again. Jake was always worried about his children in an active war zone, but Jake knew that the only way to improve was experience. So scout they did. They were doing well, informing everyone of approaching ships and making sure everyone was safe, until Lo’ak decided he wanted more action.

Neteyam went after him, [Name] following close behind, both hoping to ensure their younger brother’s safety. Once they had landed, [Name] had found Lo’ak with a gun and Neteyam reminding him that their dad was going to kill them. [Name] tried to warn them of the incoming ship, grabbing Neteyam’s arm, pulling him just barely out of the way when a ship crashed. That didn’t shield them from the knock back though, the crash sending them sprawled on the ground. [Name] had guess her dad had seen them when he came running in to save them.

[Name] had watched as he checked Lo’ak’s body for injuries before yelling Neteyam’s name and searching for them. Once he had found him, throwing him on his back, Jake Sully made his way to his Ikran. She could hear Lo’ak’s voice alerting his dad that [Name] was by the crash as well, but it all became blurry as her ears began to ring and tears started to swell in her eyes. [Name] was already stumbling back to her Ikran when her father finally caught sight of her.

Apparently, Jake hadn’t seen her and thought she was still in the air, as she learned once they had gotten back, but that did nothing to undo the hurt that struck into [Name]’s heart.

Only a few days later did Spider, Lo’ak, Kiri, and Tuk go off into the forest again, this time with [Name]. Tuk had successfully convinced [Name] to come along although [Name] was wary. As they had jumped from branch to branch, wandering deeper into the beautiful rainforest, [Name] finally gave herself a moment to breathe. Tuk often got distracted by the wildlife, and [Name] couldn’t blame her, so she stuck by her when she got side tracked, following after her when Lo’ak would yell for them to catch up. It was times like these, when she would hang out with her family that she felt like an outsider. Sure, she knew and loved her family like no other, but she never really felt a part of the family, always left out of the conversation.

Looking back at it, [Name] could hardly remember the events that led up to her siblings, Spider, and her being held by their queues by dream walkers. It all seemed to go by so fast, similar to the pace of her heart. Then all of a sudden, she heard her mother’s calls and looking around she could tell that the others had heard them as well. It rest was a blur, a flurry of flashing lights from the guns, and bodies moving quickly. [Name] was held still, her attempts at biting the avatar holding her, futile. Only when Neteyam run out from behind a tree and shot the avatar behind her, was she free. She had ran to push Neteyam out of the way of gun shots when she was met with her father. They eventually made it out, but not without losing Spider.

[Name] understood Spider, and even as she sat atop her Ikran on their way to a new life, she had understood how he had felt as an outsider in the family. Spider may not have been a Sully, but he sure did get a lot more attention from them than [Name] did. The poor kid was now stuck with the sky people, who were doing Eywa knows what to him. [Name] could remember Kiri’s face when she found that Spider was taken. It hurt [Name] to see her sister so broken.

The entire ride had been silent, nobody spoke while they flew, a side from a few questions of how much longer from Tuk. [Name] had been so stuck in her thoughts that she hardly realized when the waters below them started to lighten. The waters of the ocean clans were beautiful, so full and bright. As they approached, Na’vi people of the ocean could be seen swimming in the reef, and tending to animals. [Name] took another deep breath, this time she was pleasantly surprised to find the air much warmer and less sharp. For the first time since learning they were leaving the forest, [Name] started to feel hopeful of their new life. Maybe here she could be happy.

The Ikrans started to slow as they descended, leaving [Name] to mentally prepare herself. When they landed, it became quickly apparent to the Sully family just how many people were surrounding them. [Name] tried to follow in her father’s footsteps, holding up her hands as if to show she was no harm. It was only after a tense conversation, that the Metkayina people decide that the leaders two children would teach the Sully kids.

It seemed from there that things started to look up for [Name]. It was scary at first, but after her and her siblings jumped in the water for the first time, it all seemed to come into focus for [Name]. The water was glowing and quiet, providing [Name] solace while she thought, something she thought she would never get. Under the water was calm and safe, somewhere that [Name] felt instantly at home in. Home had seemed to be a foreign concept to [Name] in the recent years, so she welcomed the strange but lovely feeling.

Over the next few weeks, [Name] improved her swimming and breathing tremendously. Despite almost being separated from the learning group her family was in, [Name]’s skill only increase. She heard what the Metkayina kids would say and watched how they would move, hoping to use this information to better her own skills. All of these worked and many of the Metkayina kids noticed this. An outsider learning their ways at the speed she did? That was something to speak about.

[Name]’s improvement of skill and thus overall attitude went unnoticed by the Sully family, although this time she did not have a reason why. The best answer she could come up with was that they were busy. But what were they busy with? Neteyam was no longer training to be the future Olo'eyktan nor Kiri as the Tsahik, so why were all of their attention still away from their oldest daughter and sibling? The sheer truth of the matter always seemed to bring tears to [Name] whenever the thought came to her mind.

So she stayed in the background, trying to throw herself into the ways of the Metkayina. And while she seemed to do much better than her siblings, it didn’t help her gain any attention. The only thing that staying in the background did was shield [Name] from most of Ao’nung’s teasing. That didn’t stop [Name] from seeing the teasing that Ao’nung berated her siblings with.

It was one sunny day on the shore of the Metkayina clan, Kiri was watching a place in the sand and [Name] stood not far from her by a tree. [Name] had been mildly worried about Kiri for the past few days, and how she had been treated by the kids of the ocean tribe. So, [Name] choose to stick by her that day, while Kiri laid alone on the beach. And it was a good thing she did because it wasn’t long when Ao’nung and his friends decided to pay her a visit. They had made their way over to her, laughing and calling her a freak. Kiri, being the sweet heart she is, didn’t understand what was happening at first, but quickly understood when they continued to call her names.

[Name] walked away from the tree she was leaning on, shouting at the boys to stop teasing her and leave her alone. Lo’ak joined her, not willing to let anyone pick on his sister. Lo’ak was about to fight them when Neteyam showed up with his future clan leader ways. [Name] almost rolled her eyes at his mediating, but ended up smiling when he seemed to resolve the conflict. She was always proud of Neteyam for his charm. But then of course Lo’ak wasn’t ready to let go and he turned around to punch Ao’nung after cleverly tricking him. One thing lead to another and Neteyam and Lo’ak were fighting the whole group as Kiri and [Name] fought to keep down their laughs.

It was only two days later that [Name] sat at that very same beach, enjoying the waves crash against the shore. The last few days, she had been hard at work, doing everything she could to be faster, hold her breath longer; be better. That’s all she had ever wanted. This day, [Name] decided she was going to take a break while the others did as well. [Name] let her self-take a deep breath, enjoying the air while it was in her lungs. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sun when all of a sudden her vision becomes dark as if a shadow had blocked her from the sun. Furrowing her eyebrows, she opened her eyes to find that Ao’nung and his friends surrounding her.

[Name] could only scuff, she could only imagine what they wanted with her. Standing up and beginning to walk away is when they began their teasing.

“Freak!”

“She has demon blood.”

“Not even real Na’vi.”

[Name] could only shake her head, it didn’t really matter, she just wanted to leave. But they blocked her exit, surrounding her completely.

“Where are your brothers? What they no here to save you?”

“They probably don’t even care about you, freak!”

[Name] only looked at the floor blankly. A few minutes went by and [Name] could tell that the group was waiting for something to happen or someone to pop out of nowhere and stop them. But when that never came, the smirks on their face seemed to drop like flys.

“You are probably right, they don’t really care about me,” [Name] spoke evenly. She knew this to be true, as much as she didn’t want to think about it. It had always been true.

The boys looked around at each other, still hoping that one of her brothers would walk out of nowhere and yell at them for messing with their sister. But as [Name] expected, still no one came.

Ao’nung shook his head incredulously, “That cannot be true, they tried to beat us up for Kiri.”

“And I bet they would do it again, but I am not Kiri,” [Name] sighed, her previously tense shoulders deflated in defeat.

“Why are they not here than?”

“Well, I have never really had the same amount of respect my siblings have had. Even being the oldest never seemed to reward me with much attention.”

“You are the oldest? Why were you not taught the ways of the Tsahik?”

“Oh you heard about that did you? I am still not sure. Kiri was always the best choice, but as the oldest, I still think I should have been taught as well.” [Name] looked down at the sand once again, she did not like to have such thoughts.

Another boy piped in, “You are always separate from them, why is that?”

[Name] sighed, her struggles with family were not easy to explain, especially not in front of a group of strangers known for teasing.

“I’ve always tried to be close with my family, but whether they know it or not, they seem to always push me away.”

All of the boys shook their heads, seemingly ashamed of this behaviour as if they could never.

“How long has that been going on?” Ao’nung asked, leaning forward as if he needed to know the answer.

“Pretty much since Neteyam and Kiri were born,” [Name] exhaled, biting her tongue. “Not that it really matters, I love my family so much it doesn’t even matter.”

All of the boys looked at each other once again, except this time a silent understanding passed between them and they nodded in unison.

Ao’nung began to speak again, this time he had no hint of teasing in his voice.

“We did not wish to tease you or make fun of you, we just wanted to get back at your brothers for roughing us up.”

“Yeah,” Another boy began. “We just wanted to get on their nerves, you were just collateral.”

“In all honesty, many of the Metkayina kids have noticed how hard you have been working to learn more and how amazing you are in the water,” Ao’nung explained in earnest.

Whoops of agreement sounded from around [Name], and the girl found herself smiling at the support.

“Wow… I didn’t know anyone noticed…” [Name] muttered.

“How could we not? A forest girl swimming better than many of our own? Thats unheard of!” Ao’nung beamed at the oldest Sully girl and [Name] bit her lip to stop her from giggling.

“That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, thank you so much.” [Name] smiled at the group with the most genuine smile she has had in a long time.

“While we are here,” One of the boys behind her started. “My sister has always wanted to meet you, I would love to introduce you to her.”

“Yeah my sister would love you!”

Many of the boys offered to introduce [Name] to members of their family that would love her. The thought had almost sent [Name] to tears as she beamed at the boys around her.

“You should hang out with us, you know, join our group," Ao’nung suggested, looking around for conformation.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t want to intrude,” [Name] smiled sadly.

“Do you all want to be friends with [Name]?” Ao’nung asked loudly, looking around at the boys again.

When all they heard were whoops of approval, [Name]’s face was bright and her eyes glassy.

“You have no idea what this means to me, thank you guys so much.”

“Don’t sweat it, you are one of us now.”

And one of them she was. From that day on, [Name] was with Ao’nung and his friends all day every day. It was only a few days until the boys introduced [Name] to their sisters and other friends. And they loved her, playing games with her, challenge her to races, hunt beside her, and laughing with her. [Name] had been having the best time of her life. She would wake up early and go to bed late in order to make the most of her time.

She started to get close with the girls of the clan, being invited to braiding circles and gossip sessions. [Name] was finally getting the attention she never had, and she loved it. Although at times she would miss her family, having hardly any time spent with them, she knew that they didn’t notice her absence. Every time a thought of her family crossed her mind, one of the girls would help her remove it from mind. They had her back, and she sure as hell had theirs.

[Name] even bonded with a Tulkun, effectively reenforcing that she was Metkayina in all who knew her’s minds. Everyday became one of hope and happiness for [Name] and she could hardly remember he life in the forest. As much as she loved the forest, a place that she would always regard as home, she felt more at home with the Metkayina then anywhere else.

Apparently one Sully had taken notice of the absence of the oldest Sully sister, and Tuk was upset that nobody else noticed. The brushed her off at first, telling Tuk that [Name] was just doing her own thing as she did. But after a few months, Tuks nagging became more and more rational, leaving the family to think, where was [Name]?

[Name] was sat on the beach one day just before eclipse hanging out with Ao’nung when Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Kiri cornered them.

“Where have you been?” Lo’ak inquired, his fists tight and voice strained.

“Here,” Ao’nung laughed, watching as a slight smile grew on [Name]’s face.

“You know what we mean, where have you been the last few months, [Name]?” Neteyam stared at his older sister’s face as if searching for an answer.

“I didn’t think you would notice…” [Name] muttered to herself.

“What?” Kiri asked sadly.

“I have been with the Metkayina, with my friends,” [Name] put simply.

“But we are your friends [Name]! We are your family!” Lo’ak exclaimed.

The calm that once sat on [Name]’s face drained at Lo’ak’s words. Ao’nung chuckled breathlessly at Lo’ak, what was he saying.

“Some family you are. You just left her to be on her own and didn’t even notice when she was absent!” Ao’nung was furious at this point, having seen everything.

“What, that is not fair! We having been learning! We were busy learning your ways,” Neteyam explained.

“[Name] has been doing just fine, and she hadn’t ignored you at all until we stepped in.” Ao’nung stated.

“Step in my ass, she was probably bullied into being friends by you! No way she would choose you and your friends over us,” Lo’ak argued.

“Is that true, Lo’ak? Do you really think that I would chose people that have never chosen me over over them? I was not bullied, Lo’ak, I chose them,” [Name] explained, finally having enough.

“While you all were out doing whatever you were, I was left alone, never being allowed a spot in the family. Lo’ak, you always say you are the outcast, but you have no idea.” [Name] hardly understood what she was saying, all of the pent up feelings buried deep seeming to explode.

“You should have told us! We would have helped you!” Kiri spoke, trying to reason.

“No, Kiri! I couldn’t have! I was alone, left to fend for myself. You all were alway to busy and at the end of the day it didn’t ever matter what I did, it was never enough!” Tears were streaming down [Name]’s face at this point.

[Name] took several deep breaths as the Sully siblings reflected on their lives.

“Can you all just let me enjoy this?” [Name]’s voice was much softer now, more vulnerable. “I was happy, can’t you just let me be happy?”

[Name]’s words broke them, tears starting to swell in their eyes. Ao’nung wrapped his arm around [Name], whispering comforting words in her ear. Then from behind them, a whole group of Metkayina kids walk out from behind a rock and surround [Name] and Ao’nung.

“We really don’t appreciate how you have been treating our sister.”

“Yeah, you are kinda shit siblings, how can you forget your sister?”

“Don’t you know how kind she is?”

“Can’t you see how skilled she has become?”

“Why don’t you see her love for you guys despite how you have always treated her?”

Their words were like knifes in their hearts, far worse than Ao’nung had ever said to them. And as they started to retreat back to the village, all they could think about was how it all went wrong. How much had they witnessed and still missed. Looking back, not many of their memories included their older sister. As they approached their marui, their thoughts went to Tuk, who has loved [Name] the most. How was she going to respond? How was their mother or father? The day [Name] left them would always leave a scar in their hearts, how could she betray them?

Or really, how could they betray her?

A/n: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed, because I sold my soul to the devil for you <333333

Part 2: Betrayal Is An Inherent Part Of Love

Master-list

Tag list: @nyotamalfoy @lwesodra

[pedrito-friskito]

hey kay bb!! hope you're doing well 💖

mando has been on the brain lately so i'm requesting fluffy smut with him pls 🥺😫 (the yearning is *extra* today)

niiiiiiiiik my darling my dear hope you are also well 💗

ok…this got away from me. I blinked and suddenly a plot! exposition! SMUT! (multiple scenes at that) all the things. I’m a slut for Din Djarin and it really jumped out on this one.

(smut below the cut, a full plot, the helmet comes off, a bit of inexperienced!din, reader is kind of a bad ass, descriptions of bodies, unprotected p-in-v sex - wrap ur shit even if ur in space ok)

sleepover saturday

uncharted territory

(word count 9.1k - it REALLY got away from me okay)

gif by @aceofwhump

Then you are a Mandalorian no more.

Din Djarin aches in a way he has never felt before, much more powerful than any injury he could ever sustain. His Creed, demolished. His son, gone. His life, upended. As he staggers out of the Covert, trying to think of where to go next, he cannot shake the feeling of lost that settles around his shoulders like a cloak.

Maybe coming to Glavis was a mistake; maybe he should have stayed back on Nevarro, kept taking jobs from Karga until he finally had enough credits to take the old man’s advice, get himself a camtono full of spice and disappear into the Twi’lek healing baths until he forgot the whole thing.

The truth of it? He knew he could never forget. There wasn’t enough spice in the galaxy to help him forget it all. It wasn’t possible. And the larger part was that Din didn’t want to forget.

His leg aches as he walks. The bacta Paz had sprayed him down with had helped some, but the ache runs deep, and the drills the Armourer had forced him to run with the Darksaber had only made matters worse. He should find a place to lie down, to hide for the night before he decides what he plans to do next, where he plans to go.

Where will he go?

You are a Mandalorian no more.

The echo of the words make his head split, and for a moment, he has half a mind to wrench the helmet off, to launch it off the ring, let space swallow the beskar whole. But he stops himself; it feels as though his armour is all he has left.

His armour, and the Darksaber. The right to the throne of Mandalore.

Maker, he can’t think straight. The ache only worsens, his limp more prominent, and it gets to the point where he can take no more. He falls onto the nearest crate, his injured leg stuck straight out in front of him. His body feels twice as heavy, his head even more so, and he tips it back against the wall to lighten the load. He’ll rest just a moment, he’ll just shut his eyes for one—

“Mando?”

Din pulls his blaster from his holster as his eyes shoot open. There’s the sound of shuffled steps, something metallic hitting the floor, a murmured dank farrik! He hits a button on his vambrace, turns off the thermal setting on his visor.

“Sweets?”

You look exactly the same as he remembers. It’s been ages, but he could never forget your face. He knows what’s underneath your clothes, too, and the memory speeds to the surface of his mind faster than a pod-racer.

+

Before he had an in with Peli on Tatooine, the Razor Crest routinely parked and tuned up in Hangar 3-5, he had you. You were well-known within the Guild, had more than a few contracts with different gangs and hunters in the galaxy. If something on a ship broke, you were the one to fix it, and you had enough heavily-armed thugs on your side to make anyone think twice about trying to mess with you.

Some called you the Mechanic, simple and descriptive. Others, those you let a little closer, knew you as Sweets, a moniker earned by your penchant for candies and treats. You’d let your favoured clients off easy if they were short a few credits, but had something sweet from the far reaches of the galaxy to offer in lieu of the missing cash.

Din knew he was one of your favoured clients, perhaps your favourite. Or, had been. You’d crowed endlessly about the Crest, desperate to get your hands on it any time he hauled it in for service, whether it actually needed it or not. Sometimes he genuinely needed something fixed, some times he’d found some candy or sweet in a far off corner of the galaxy that he’d brought back just for you.

Other times, he just wanted to see you.

You were sweet in other ways, too. He knew first-hand. And he knew he was the only client you let into your bed. He’d been drawn to you the first time you’d been introduced — a common contact between you and Din sent him your way when the Crest was in serious need of a tune-up, and you were the closest mechanic he could get to without doing more damage to the ship.

Your knowledge astounded him, to start. You were barely into a diagnostic and you knew exactly what needed to be fixed, what parts you had and didn’t, how many credits it was going to cost him. And you hadn’t even set foot on the ship yet. Your competency drove him wild, only spurred on when he brought you aboard the Crest to give the interior a once-over, eager to see if he’d kept everything original, or if you had any modifications to offer that he might be interested in. Din followed you around the ship silently, answering whatever questions you had, mostly just watching you work. It was intriguing beyond belief.

“That’s not much of a bed,” you’d commented, cocking your head to the side when you hit the button that opened the bunk. “When’s the last time you had a new mattress?”

He just shrugged.

“One thing you should know,” you said over your shoulder, descending the Crest’s ramp, heading back towards the entrance to your shop. “I don’t use droids.”

Din nearly fell over. “That’s not a problem.”

“Good,” you replied, tapping at your data pad, your brow scrunching. “It’ll take longer than your usual hangar; I do everything myself.”

“I’m happy to wait,” he said, dipping his helmet, thankful it was hiding the way he was raking his eyes over you. I don’t use droids. Had someone made you in a lab somewhere, on some backwater planet, just for him? “I know she’s in good hands.”

The grin you’d offered him was sweeter than anything he’d ever seen, and you shooed him out a moment later, muttering something about getting back to work.

When he returned three days later to retrieve his ship, he almost didn’t recognize it. You’d repainted most of the outside panels, replaced all the ones that were missing, and the engines were so shiny Din could see his helmet reflected in them. Inside the Crest was another story; you’d outfitted him with a carbonite cell system, top of the line and primed for use. That meant no more mouthy bounties, no more wasting durasteel cuffs and gags when he could just hit a button and have a quiet ride back to the Guild.

And in the bunk, a new mattress, complete with a pillow, and bolted on the wall, a mount for his helmet.

“You don’t sleep with that thing on, do you?”

“The carbonite system,” he nearly sputtered, rubbing a gloved hand over the back of his neck. “I don’t have the credits, I didn’t—”

You poked the toe of his boot with your own. “Call it a gift, Mando. Let’s just say I shouldn’t have had the thing hanging around to begin with.”

“Is that gonna cause me any problems?”

“Nope,” you replied, popping the p. “Wiped all the identification numbers from the system. No one will know where it came from. Except you.”

He stared at you a long moment. “Except me.”

He was sure to pay you in full, plus the candied flowers he’d found at one of the vendors in the markets. You’d smiled again at that, and while Din committed the sight to memory, he also promised himself that he wouldn’t let it be long before he saw your smile again.

And he kept that promise. The next time he landed the Crest in your hangar, it wasn’t because he needed a tune-up or new parts. He’d struck gold at a black market on Coruscant; his bounty had lead him into the belly of a sweet shop, and after the Gungan had been dealt with, Din did some hunting of his own. He took as many boxes as he could carry, trying to take one of each flavour, a few extra of the ones he’d seen on the shelf in your shop.

“What in Maker’s name are you doing here?” you’d called as soon as he landed, stepping out of the shop and into the hangar, your hands on your hips, cocked to one side. “You ruin my handiwork that fast?”

“Not exactly,” he’d replied, walking down the ramp, his arms laden with goodies. Your eyes had gone huge. “I come bearing gifts.”

“For me?” you cried, gasping as you took the boxes from him, tongue poking between your teeth. “Mandalorian, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were flirting with me.”

He’d never been so grateful for his helmet at that exact moment. He might have crumbled to dust if you’d seen how red his cheeks were. “I-I owed you,” he stuttered out, “for the carbonite.”

“You didn’t owe me anything,” you quipped, swaying from side to side on your feet, staring down at your treats. “I told you, it was a gift.” You gave him one of those smiles again, and Din felt his stomach twist at the glitter in your eyes. “Why don’t you stay a while? I’ll feed you and everything.”

You disappeared into the shop, and Din paused a moment before following.

He saw you disappear behind a dark curtain that had definitely seen better days, and Din followed your further to discover there was an apartment of sorts attached to the shop. Apartment was perhaps too kind a word; it was one large room, a kitchen to one side, a large futon spread in the middle. Trunks and boxes and crates stacked along the far wall, a few grease-stained jumpsuits littering the floor. You stumbled over your feet trying to pick them up, tossing the offending fabric into a nearby crate, before you turned back to him. “What are you hungry for?”

You served him first. Noodles with dark sauce and some kind of shredded meat you thought was bantha but weren’t quite sure. But, as you stated with a shrug, “it’s good, and it hasn’t killed me yet.” After you slid the bowl across the table to him, you turned back to the stove and stayed that way. After a moment, Din wasn’t sure what to do, but then your head turned slightly, your eyes trained directly to the left, not wandering towards him over your shoulder. “I won’t look. Swear.”

He lifted the helmet just enough to shovel the food into his mouth. You were right, the mystery meat was good, and the sauce you’d made to go with it was even better. He nearly inhaled the food, not wanting to keep you too long, and when the helmet slid back down, the mechanism hissing back into place, your head turned again, still not looking at him.

“You’re safe,” he said, sliding his empty bowl back across the table.

You turned fully, serving yourself, and he expected you to sit across from him, keeping a bit of distance between you, but instead, you rounded the table and plunked yourself down on the stool right beside him. You ate much slower than he had, and Din let his eyes graze over you. The streak of engine grease on your cheek, the scar that split your lower lip, the intricately messy way you wore your hair. A silver chain sat around your throat, strung with a tiny silver ring. It disappeared down the front of your shirt most of the time, but right then it sat awkwardly, the chain caught on your collar, the ring sitting in the hollow of your throat. He resisted the urge to reach out and fix it.

The jumpsuit you wore was nearly identical to the ones you’d hurriedly swiped off the floor. Torn on one knee, zipper unfurling beneath your chest, a symbol he didn’t recognize patched onto your thigh. You’d tied the sleeves around your waist like a belt, a dirty rag tucked in at your hip. The Mechanic, herself. Sweets.

He thought you were beautiful. He had a feeling you’d look beautiful in anything.

Or nothing.

Din was distracted by your thumb at your lips, swiping a drop of sauce from your chin and sucking your finger into your mouth. His flight-suit was tight beneath his beskar to begin with, and you weren’t helping matters. “So,” you said simply, reaching for your food again. “Tell me a story, Mando. A good one. Best bounty you ever caught.”

The conversation filtered between you two easily. You were a good listener, easy to talk to, and Din felt like he couldn’t stop talking to you, telling you about his first kill, his first bounty. His first ship, before the Crest. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you about the before, before the Guild, before he was just the Mandalorian, when he was just Din Djarin. A foundling. Part of him wondered what you think, what your reaction might be to his past, but a larger part forced his mouth shut.

At some point, he turned himself towards you on his stool, one arm braced on the table, the other resting on his thigh. After you finished your food, you leaned heavily on the table, your head pushed into your palm, legs crossed at your ankles, swinging slowly, the toe of your boot tapping his shin every once in a while.

He could see you were tired, the way you started covering your yawns and rubbing at your eyes. “I should go,” he said, starting to get to his feet. “You’re tired, and I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

Your hand flashed out quick — not quick enough to startle him, though — and wrapped around his wrist. You’d managed to wedge your fingers right into the space where his glove met his vambrace, and he felt you against his pulse, against his bare skin. “You don’t have to leave, Mando.”

Din. He wanted to tell you. My name is Din.

Slowly, his own hand reached out, hovering in the air, shaking more than a vibroblade. He saw your eyes trace its path, watching until it lowered, dropped until the flat of his palm met the curve of your thigh. His gloved fingers wrapped around the meat of your leg, his thumb pressing towards the inside. 

He heard you gasp. 

He moved forward an inch, and his hand moved higher, thumb riding the seam of your jumpsuit. You hummed, fingered squeezing around his wrist, and Din moved closer, until he had one leg between yours. He let his hand wander higher, listening carefully to the changes in your breathing, the hitch in your throat. The heat between your legs was almost stifling, and something feral in the back of his brain screamed for more.

Whatever snapped in him, it seemed to break in you at exactly the same time. You both shot to your feet together, and Din’s hands moved to your waist, to where your sleeves were knotted at your waist. Yours roamed his chest plate, fingers tapping along beskar until you hooked them in his cloak. He halted his own hands, ready to help you remove the fabric, but you handled it just fine on your own, finding the hidden snaps with ease.

His blood turned to flame when he felt your fingers along his throat, seeking his pulse in another spot. “You should stay,” you breathed out, your voice barely above a murmur. “Please, Mando, I want you to stay.”

He forced himself to nod, his mind now preoccupied with ripping his gloves from his hands. He needed to feel you, no barriers in between.

He needed to see you, something in him screamed, no barriers in between.

He silenced that voice before it could spur him further. Busied himself with diving his hand beneath the waist of the jumpsuit, the broken zipper catching on his wrist. You were even hotter beneath, and he sucked down a breath when he found you wet, slick coating his fingers.

Your body leaned into him, chasing his touches, and he hooked his other hand around your thigh, lifting you up and backwards onto the table. He could feel you watching, your eyes moving from his helmet down his front, to where his hand was jammed beneath the jumpsuit. He crooked one finger, testing, pressing it into you, and grinned beneath his helmet when you moaned.

Din hooked his arm under your waist, lifting you just enough that he could maneuver the jumpsuit over your hips, down your legs. His cock jolted between his legs at the sight of you bare, leaned back on the table, your chest heaving. Even though the visor, he could see how slick you were, the evidence shining on the insides of your thighs.

He wanted to taste you.

He pushed the thought away again. Another time, when he wasn’t smearing the inside of his flight-suit with precum, when you weren’t keening into his touch as he dragged his fingers against the sensitive skin between your legs, when he could turn the lights off and shed his armour, bare himself to you the same way.

You moaned again when his fingers found your clit, drawing a sloppy circle that had your muscles tensing against his hand, knees closing against his hips. “F-fuck, Mando,” you ground out, tipping your head back on your shoulders. “You’re good with those hands.” Another stuttered breath as he twisted his wrist, curling two fingers just inside your entrance, thumb stretching up to swipe over your clit. “Really good.”

He was grinning beneath the helmet again, eyes glued to your face as he pressed further, fingers threading deeper into you. He could feel everything, the twitch of your thighs, the clench of your cunt. You reached out with one hand, using the other to balance yourself, and closed it around his elbow, your fingers digging into the thick fabric so hard he was shocked your nails didn’t bite right through.

“How do you like it, Sweets?” he asked, leaning forward until he was nearly hovering over you. Your hand moved from his elbow to chest, fingers hooked in his armour. “Tell me what you need.”

Your hand moved again, this time moving straight down his front, past his waist, right between his legs. His cock throbbed as you palmed him, a cat-like grin on your lips as you tilted your head level with the visor. You leaned up slightly, pressed your lips to the beskar edge that mirrored his jaw. Another squeeze, and the slow pace of his fingers faltered, his head nearly smacking into yours. “I need this.”

Din couldn’t hold back anymore. Something in the way you stared up at him, eyes tracing over the helmet, told him you didn’t want him to.

“I like it rough.”

It all happened in one fluid motion. He pulled you closer, right off the edge of the table, and you spun in his grip, leaning forward over the table, planting your hands flat. The jumpsuit slid further towards your ankles and you arched your back, your ass grinding against his hardness, and Din groaned audibly, tilting his head towards the ceiling. Your legs spread as much as the jumpsuit would allow, and Din worked his own zipper down, freeing himself from the flight-suit. You made the most delicious noise as the tip of his cock smacked against your ass, the tip dripping with precum.

Your head turned as he took himself in hand, tapping your ass with his cock again. “Maker,” you breathed out, your eyes widening. “I knew you’d be big.”

Beneath the helmet, Din turned crimson.

He planted his other hand between your shoulders, tipping you forward. You went willingly, eyes rolling back as he pushed his hips against your ass. He could see how wet you were as you bent, slick still dripping down your thighs.

There was nothing stopping him from dropping to his knees right then and there, lifting the helmet just enough to drag his tongue through your cunt. The thought alone made his cock pulse.

But then your hand reached back, twisting in the fabric covering his hip, and he couldn’t wait any longer. He bent his knees slightly, notching himself at your entrance, and pushed inside.

The noise you let out was nearly enough to make him cum right then and there. He knew he wasn’t gonna last, and judging by the sounds you continued to make and the way you were bearing down on him, hands clenched into fists on the tabletop, he didn’t think you were either. He set a fast pace, the space filling with the slick sound of him driving in and out of you, your moans echoing each move. Din’s gaze dropped, trained on the sight of his cock disappearing to you. Your hand flapped at his hip, scrabbling for purchase, and he wrapped his fingers around your forearm, groaning when you did the same.

He was right; you didn’t last long, and neither did he. Your entire body clenched as you came, one hand slamming against the table, nails digging deep into his wrist. It spurred his own orgasm, that coil at the base of his spine snapping, and he pulled out, cumming hard across the curve of your ass.

Silence settled over the both of you as you caught your breath. Din couldn’t help himself, rubbing his bare fingers over the expanse of your back, tracing over your spine. You arched a bit into his touch, making a satisfied noise before you lifted yourself off the table. You turned to him, leaned up to press a hot kiss to his bare throat. It made him shiver.

“Think we could do that again?” you murmured, lifting a finger and dragging it along the edge of his helmet. “Maybe you take all the metal off.”

Din cleared his throat, trying to ignore the way his cock twitched, already wanting a second round. “Helmet stays on.”

You stared at him a long moment, smile on your lips. “Helmet stays on.”

+

He kept close to you after that night. He rarely took bounties that took him to further reaches of the galaxy, loathe to admit that he was always within a few parsecs of your hangar. He brought you a long-distance commlink so he could tell you when he was coming back, so you could contact him if you ever needed him. He didn’t worry about you, per se; you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, and he knew for a fact you knew how to shoot the blaster you kept holstered on your thigh when he wasn’t around.

But then the comm went quiet. He called, you didn’t answer. A lead weight formed in his stomach, and he pushed the Crest’s engines are fast as they’d go. Carefully, though — he wouldn’t dare ruin any of your handiwork.

When he landed in the hangar, the lights were all off. It didn’t help his worry, and it only grew worse as he sprinted off the Crest, heading straight for the shop door.

It was locked, but the lock was no match for his vibroblade and a bit of brute force. Inside, the space was empty. no trace of you left inside. There was no sign of a struggle, no blood smeared on the floor or the wall, but it didn’t ease his mind any. What if someone had come for you, spirited you away in the dead of night to some backwater planet? Dank farrik, what if someone had put out a bounty on you? His mind reeled, raced, chewed him up and spit him out.

He never meant to get so attached to you.

Din switched the settings on his visor, finally determining that all the footprints he could make out on the floor were your own. Then he saw it, sitting on the edge of one of the shelves in the kitchen. The commlink, perched precariously, just enough out of sight that no one else would think twice, but not Din.

He thumbed through the screen, saw the icon flashing with a recorded message. Your face lit up the screen instantly, and he stifled the way his stomach clenched. You looked…scared. Not hurt, not injured, but scared.

“Someone sold me out,” you said, your voice distorted and warped. “I can’t give you details. I can’t really tell you anything. Just know I’m going somewhere safe, and I’ll miss you, Mandalorian. Take care of yourself.”

Your eye were shiny as you reached out to cut the recording, and Din’s heart sank into his toes.

He put the commlink in his pocket, and returned to his ship.

He’d watched the message so many times the words were engraved into his brain. The change in your voice, the way you’d blinked harder the more you spoke. The way you paused in the middle, glanced over your shoulder with a shock of fear in your eyes.

And now here you are, standing in front of him, a pile of metal spilling out of a crate tucked beneath your arm, that same streak of fear in those big eyes. Eyes that have haunted him all these years. You nearly drop the crate as you crouch, your gaze zeroing in on the wound on his leg. “Maker, Mando, what the hell did you do?”

“Long story,” he groans out, wincing as you adjust his leg slightly, leaning to the side so you can get a better look. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” you reply, getting back to your feet, retrieving your crate of parts. “C’mon, let me clean you up. You look like hell.”

Din goes willingly, not sure what else to do, his mind racing from the combination of the Covert and you appearing out of nowhere. He lets you pull him slowly to his feet, tuck yourself under his arm. “Sweets,” he starts to protest, but you drag his arm around your shoulders.

“Shush,” you whisper, glancing around as you start to lead him in the opposite direction he’d been going. “Lean your weight on me.” He does as you say, nearly crumbling with relief. “There you go.”

The ache only worsens as you go, Din resisting the urge to lean his head against yours. When you finally turn him towards the door, he thinks he may topple over completely, but you’re quicker, producing a remote from your pocket. The door slides open, revealing the inside of a hangar, and you all but carry him through, discarding the crate of parts the moment you’re through, hitting the button again once you’re inside. The door slides shut, and Din lifts his head enough to look around. It looks nearly identical to your old hangar.

Then he hears a curious little beep, and looks down to see a tiny droid scurrying towards you. A BD-1 unit; he recognizes it from Peli’s, though yours is a little more rusty around the edges, the cleaner bits of metal painted grey and yellow. “Not now, Shrimp,” you grit, waving at the droid. It beeps loudly back at you, like an arguing child, and Din stifles his laugh.

“I thought you didn’t use droids,” he mumbles.

“He came with the hangar,” you reply, moving him across the hangar. Shrimp follows a few more steps before darting off, disappearing into a pile of crates. “Couldn’t bring myself to scrap him. Besides, not like he’s much help; tiny thing can’t even lift a socket wrench.”

He laughs out loud this time, and when you pull him into the shop, he laughs again, despite himself.

There’s a shelf of sweets above the workbench.

There’s no curtain between the shop and the apartment, instead another sliding door, another remote. Din lets out a low hum when he sees the apartment beyond. More than one room, furnished with actual furniture. It’s…nice. It’s really nice.

You deposit him on the couch, propping his leg up on the table in front of it. “Wait here,” you mumble, pointing a finger at him before disappearing into another room. 

He doesn’t move, but hooks his fingers into the edge of his helmet and yanks it off, depositing it on the couch beside him. He sucks down a breath of unfiltered air.

You gasp as you walk back into the room, nearly dropping the silver case in your hand. “Mando, you—”

“Din,” he says instantly, reaching down, tugging his gloves off, tossing them onto the helmet. “My name is Din Djarin.”

“Din,” you repeat, slowly, like you’re tasting his name on your tongue. The corner of your mouth quirks. “Din…Djarin.”

He just nods. You approach him carefully, like you’re walking towards an injured animal instead of a man, the silver case clutched against your chest.

“Your helmet,” you start, gesturing vaguely. A memory sparks. He told you before — not in so many words — about his Creed, his upbringing. You’d asked, and he’d answered. It wasn’t information he gave willingly. The second time he had you, when you were sprawled out completely naked on that old futon, writhing and moaning beneath him, when he’d shed almost all his beskar, felt the warmth of your body pressed up against all of him. Afterward, when you’d both been sated for the time being, you’d peered up at him from your place on his chest. “Do you ever take it off?” you asked, your voice laced with sleep.

And he’d answered.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says now, eyes darting towards the curve of silver. “I’m not a Mandalorian anymore.”

“What?” you ask, your brow furrowing. He wants to reach out, let his thumb ride the space between your eyebrows, feel it smooth over as he kisses the spot. “What does that mean?”

“It means…” He trails off. Loaded question. What does it mean? Truly? “My name is Din Djarin.”

There’s still confusion etched into your features, but you don’t question him further. Your brow doesn’t loosen, and you perch on the table.

“What’s in the case?” he asks, jutting his chin towards the silver case still in your hands.

You look at him for a long moment, eyes sweeping over his face, over his features. Like you’re committing him to memory. He’s doing the same, almost scrutinizing your face, trying to remember what it looks like without the filter of his visor, what you truly look like, with no barriers in between.

He could taste you easily now.

The thought catches him off guard, the throb between his legs a welcome change to the pulsing of the wound on his thigh. The bacta the Covert had given him has worn off almost completely, and the pain is climbing. 

“B-bacta shot,” you stutter out, shaking your head slightly as you flipped open the case. Your eyes moved to the wound on his leg, peering at the plates of beskar, the flight-suit, the discarded helmet on the couch. “That needs to be cleaned.”

Din just nods.

“Think you can walk to the bedroom?” you ask, shoving the silver case into the chest pocket of your jumpsuit. He recognizes it — the tear in the knee, the patch on your thigh. You fixed the zipper. “It’ll be easier.”

It’s slow-going, getting him back to his feet, shuffling carefully to the bedroom. You ask him if he wants to bring the helmet; he just shakes his head.

What does that mean?

Your bed is unmade, but Din barely notices. The scent of you is amplified in here, and he’s sucking down breaths like he’s been deprived of oxygen. You help him lower to the edge of the bed, and he starts on the armour. You sink to your knees in front of him, setting the bacta shot on the mattress beside him. He removes a pauldron with shaking fingers, and you’re right there to take it from him, your movements sure, setting the metal carefully onto the floor, waiting for the next piece.

“You disappeared,” he says, after more pieces of beskar have been removed, when you’ve moved onto his boots, setting them both carefully at your side.

Your brow had just smoothed out, and it pinches again. “I had to. I left you a message.”

Din pulls the zipper on his flight-suit, reaches into the pocket sewn into the lining, and produces the commlink. “I know.”

Your lips part as you look at the piece of metal, dwarfed by his hand. “You found it.”

“I did.”

Bottom lip caught between your teeth, you look back up at him through your lashes. “It wasn’t safe.”

“You’re safe now,” he says, and you reach for the bacta shot. “Tell me.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” you reply, your voice bordering on stern. “Somebody sold me out.”

“I knew that much,” Din mumbles, and you shoot him a glare.

You sigh. “Let’s just say, there were some parts in the hangar that shouldn’t have been there, someone wasn’t happy with some work I did, and then next thing I knew, there were Imps on my tail. So I disappeared.”

“You could have told me where you were going.”

You shake your head. “They were listening. Tracking every message I sent out. I couldn’t let you get roped into it too.”

“You could have gone to the Guild,” he says. He’s too distracted to notice you pull the syringe out of the case. He doesn’t see the needle until you’re pushing it into his muscle above the wound. He grits his teeth audibly, hands curling hard around the edge of the mattress. “Dank farrik.”

“Sorry.”

“I would have come for you,” he says, breath hitching in his throat as you push the plunger down. It feels like his body has been flooded with ice water, his teeth chattering for a moment before the cold turns to a woozy sort of warmth that spreads through his chest like Corellian fire whiskey. He blinks hard, slow, one eye than the other.

“Can you stand?” He nods. Or thinks he does. “The bacta will help, but I need to put a bandage on that wound, at least.” More nodding. He’s vaguely aware of you draping his arms around your neck, your arms sliding around his waist to haul him up. He plants his feet beneath him, forces his weight over his ankles. His movements are slow, languid, like he’s moving through water. You manoeuvre one arm out of his flight-suit, pushing the fabric down his shoulders, until it settles around his hips. The metallic sound of the zipper seems to echo through his brain, and he knows you’re touching his waist, moving the fabric slowly over his injured thigh. But it doesn’t hurt.

All he can feel is you.

You sit him down again, work on pulling the suit off completely. Your hands are warm, soft, gentle against his bare legs, and he nearly buries his nose in the crown of your head when you bend down. Once the flight-suit has been removed, leaving him in his boxers and undershirt, you disappear again, and Din’s not sure if it’s thirty seconds or thirty minutes.

Something cold presses against his thigh, and he flinches. “Does it hurt?” you ask instantly, and your voice is clear, then muffled, then clear again. “It shouldn’t.”

“Nuh-uh,” he slurs out. He hears you laugh, and the sound is like tinkling bells. He wants to hear it again. “Sweets.”

“Yes, Din?” Clear, muffled. His name is a song on your lips.

“You’re beautiful.”

“So are you.”

“Mesh’la,” he mumbles, and then his eyes fall shut, his body slumps back, and he thinks you laugh again. He’s not quite sure; sleep is too busy yanking him under.

+

Din wakes to the sound of running water.

He’s disoriented, confused, not sure where he is until he pushes up on his elbows, looks around, drinks in the sight of your bedroom. The memory floods back; the Covert, then the hangar, taking the helmet off, the bacta shot that knocked him out.

But more importantly: you.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes. How long was he out? He can’t be sure; there’s a window on the far side of the room, but time on Glavis is different, artificial nighttime and starlight instead of sun. His armour has been moved from the floor, neatly piled on a dresser against the wall, his boots on the floor underneath. His flight-suit is spread out on a worktable in the middle of the room, and he can see from his spot that you’ve tried to mend it, patching the spot the Darksaber had cut open with a square of fabric. It’s looks to be the same kind of material, but the colour is darker. Beneath the sheets, his leg is wrapped in cotton bandages, and there’s no sign of blood seeping to the surface.

His head turns in the direction of the noise of the water, and he pauses, waits for some kind of pain to prick through his body, but it never comes. He feels…good. Well-rested. His eyes follow the sound, and then he sees it.

The door to your bathroom is wide open, and from his spot on your bed, he can see directly into the shower. You’re inside, steam pouring over the top of the glass wall, and Din’s whole body jerks. He never forgot what you looked like naked, and it’s been a long time, but somehow it still feels like the first time. He can feel the blood rushing south, and his hands clench in the bedsheets.

He just stares, watching the water move over you, cascading down your spine, rolling in rivulets over your curves, following the lines of your body. He wants to follow them too, wants to read you like a map only he knows the key to.

Dank farrik, he’s missed you. He hadn’t realized how much.

The water shuts off, and he sees you reach for a towel, wiping your face first. He sinks back down on the bed, wondering if he should feign sleep, feeling like a kid caught doing something he’s not supposed to. But before he can— “You’re awake,” he hears you call, and looks back just as you wrap the towel around your middle. “I thought you’d be out for the night.”

Din coughs, shifting the blankets, trying to hide the tent that’s formed in his boxers. “You don’t close the door?” He doesn’t know what else to say.

You laugh. “I live alone,” you say, stepping out of the bathroom, walking towards the dresser his armour sits upon. “Force of habit.”

He clears his throat. Loudly. Pauses. “…it’s a nice view.”

Your tongue peeks between your lips as you walk over to him, still in just the towel. Your hair is still dripping, water droplets dotting your shoulders. You sink slowly onto the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?”

“G-good,” he spits out, adjusting himself, making more room for you. “Really good.”

The corner of your mouth quirks. “I’m glad. You scared me, Man—” You catch yourself. “Din.”

A drop of water splashes down from your hair, starts a path down your upper arm, and Din reaches out, catching it on his finger. You watch his hand, lips softly parted, and he continues the path, drawing his hand up and down your skin, the backs of his knuckles against your bicep.

“I wondered where you were, all these years,” you whisper. There’s longing in your voice, he notices; the same feeling sits like a weight on his chest. “I never stopped wondering.”

“I’ll tell you sometime,” he whispers back. There’s something forming in the air between you, thick like the steam that still foams from the open bathroom. Din can almost taste it, and the thought he’d had in your living room resurfaces, making him twitch beneath the sheets. He could taste you so easily now. “It’s a long story.”

The corner of your mouth quirks. “I got nothing but time.”

So does he, he realizes. He’s without a ship, without his son, without anything anchoring him to one planet or another, to any sort of path. He’d been wandering already, trying to find the Covert, and now he is unmoored once more, yet somehow managed to find his way back to your hangar.

To your bed.

His hand stops chasing water droplets, and he sees your teeth sink into your lower lip. He lowers his palm until it rests on your bare thigh, and he can feel how your skin is still hot from the shower. “I never kissed you,” he rasps. “Before.”

Your head shakes slowly, and you turn towards him more fully. The towel is loose around your chest, your hand holding it in place, and he reaches for it, slowly uncurling your fingers from the fabric, until your grip falls slack, and the towel goes with it. “You should fix that,” you murmur.

“I’m out of practice.”

Your lips twitch again. “How bad?”

“Few decades,” he says softly. “Since before I swore the Creed.”

“You were a child.”

“It was a childish kiss.” He pauses, moves his hand again, brushes dripping locks of hair from your face. “I don’t want to kiss you like that.”

“Just…” Din leans in slightly, tilts his head to the side. “Do what feels natural.” You mirror his movement, and his eyes are glued to your mouth, to the way your lips stay parted even when you’re done speaking, the way your collar lifts with shuddered breaths. He sees your hands move the towel out of the corner of his eye, pulling the fabric away from your body completely until you’re bared to him, head to toe.

You’re just as beautiful as he remembers. If not more.

The tip of his nose drags along the slope of yours, and his hand slides from your thigh to your hip. “I need you closer, Sweets,” he murmurs, and you nod against him, your foreheads tapping together. There’s a bit of shuffling, the blankets moved back, his tented boxers exposed but barely acknowledged as you climb into his lap. He revels in the way you look above him, your knees pressed either side of his hips. You’re hesitant to lower your weight onto his leg, and he guides you slow, giving you a quiet it’s okay as you settle onto him.

He doesn’t feel any pain; he just feels you.

Once you’re comfortable, your hands clutching at his shoulders, he adjusts his grip on you, palms skimming up your spine, mapping out your ribs and the curve of your ass. You make a quiet noise when he squeezes one cheek, the movement propelling you forward, making your hips roll into his, your core pushed against his hard cock. It makes him hiss with pleasure, and he slides one hand up to your hair, knotting his fingers in it and dragging your mouth down to his.

It’s not artful; he’s sure it doesn’t look pretty from the outside. There’s a lot of teeth and tongue, the fumble of hands as he tries to get you even closer. He’s sure you’ve been kissed better than this, and it makes his cheeks heat, makes him pull away, tucking his chin towards his chest. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Hey,” you say softly, your hands moving to cup his cheeks, tilting his face back up towards you. “It’s okay. Just…follow my lead?” You say it like a question, your thumbs swiping over his face, through the smatter of facial hair along his jaw. “I got you.”

Din nods, lets his lips part as you cock your head to the side, leaning in slow. You kiss his top lip and then his bottom one, giving him just enough teeth that he wants more, wants it harder. He grips your hips as you move, but your kiss stays tender, slow, your tongue a wet heat against his own. He’d dreamed of this, of kissing you, and this one — albeit the second attempt — is everything he ever imagined.

Finally, your mouth grows more insistent. He’s hard as steel between his legs, and he can feel how hot you are, your wetness spreading across his boxers with every roll of your hips. Your mouth is sweet, almost sugary, and he finds himself chuckling against your lips, still trying to get you closer. Your stomach presses to his as you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him harder, your tongue licking into his mouth.

“Sweets,” he grinds out when you start pulling at his undershirt, insistent to get it over his head. He lets you, and when you lower your head again, your mouth moves to his throat instead, and it makes him moan. “Mesh’la, wait, please, I need—”

You pull back instantly, your eyes bright with worry. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“I want…” His eyes drop, tracing a path down your body, his throat growing dry when they land on the apex of your thighs, the glistening wetness he knows he’s caused. He lets one hand follow the path his eyes made, rubs his thumb over your clit. Your whole body shivers. “I want to taste you.”

Your eyes go big, pupils blown with lust, and Din uses your momentary shock to his advantage. He’s stronger than you, perks of the bounty hunting lifestyle, and he flips you easily with one arm around your waist, his other hand hitching your thigh over his hip. You squeak as your head hits the pillows, clinging to him until you’re laid out beneath him.

It’s his turn to kiss his way down your throat, and he does, laving his tongue against your pulse as he makes his way down your body. He pauses at your chest, moves to the side to close his lips around your nipple. It makes your back arch, a high-pitched noise falling from your mouth, and he grins against you, giving you just the edge of his teeth before he’s wandering across your chest to give the other the same attention.

You’re a writhing mess by the time he’s settled between your thighs. He can’t keep his eyes still, raking over every inch of you, trying to remember every part. He can see the muscles in your legs jump as he traces his fingers over them, the more sensitive parts of your skin making you keen.

With your legs spread, he can see everything, and his mouth waters at the sight of your wet cunt, walls fluttering around nothing as he teases you with his fingers, collecting your wetness on the tips before drawing them to his mouth.

He moans at the taste. Of course, you’re sweet. Deliciously so.

“Din,” you groan out, propping yourself up on your elbows. He can feel you watching, and his gaze flicks up to yours as he drops his jaw, lowers his mouth to you. Your eyes roll back for a moment, one hand moving to knot in his hair, and Din moans into you. His tongue explodes with the taste of you, sending shocks down his spine, making his hips rolls into the mattress, seeking relief.

Just do what feels natural, your words echo in his head. So he does. He licks into you, wide stripes with the flat of his tongue, smaller kitten licks to your clit. He can’t get enough of your taste, hooking his hands around your thighs, pulling himself deeper into you. And you guide him some, your hand in his hair an anchor of sorts, tugging slightly to get him right where you need him, a gasped oh fuck, right there! reaching his ears.

It’s not before long that you’re smacking at his shoulder, muffled moans on your lips with your teeth sunk into your lower one. He detaches from you, gets one more good look and lick in before he’s following your grip, kissing every inch of you he can reach as he makes his way back up your body.

“I need you inside me,” you slur, your hands reaching down, pushing at his boxers. His cock springs up against his stomach and he groans, the sound growing louder when you wrap your fingers around him. “Please, Din, I want to cum on your cock.”

It’s a miracle he doesn’t cum right then and there, hearing your words turn filthy. And filthier still as he hauls himself over you, plants one elbow beside your head, looks between you, reaches down to line himself up and—

Freezes.

He can feel your eyes on his face, features pinched with anticipation. Your hands have found homes along his ribs, fingers tapping out rhythmless patterns. Hips lifting, you must see something in his expression, because you move a hand to his chin, lifting his eyes to yours again. “Din,” you say, and a shiver shoots down his spine again at the way his name sounds on your lips. “It’s okay. We can stop, if you need to.”

“No!” he nearly shouts, and feels himself flush, lowering himself slightly, careful not to drop all his weight on you. “No, that’s not what I…I don’t…”

“Don’t what?” you murmur. Your voice is quiet, understanding. You give a soft laugh. “I know you’re not a virgin, but if you don’t want to, it’s okay, I won’t say any—”

“It’s not that,” he cuts you off, petting his hand over your still-damp hair. “I want to. I want you. It’s just that…” He chews at his lip. “No one’s ever seen my face, while we…when I…”

Realization slides through your features. “Oh.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t have to look,” you say quickly, skimming your knuckles along his cheek. “I can turn over, if you like, if that’s easier than—”

“No,” he says, not a shout this time, but firmer. “I want you to see, Sweets.” He drops his chin, emboldened by your softness, your understanding. He kisses you soundly. “I want to kiss you while you cum.” His words pull a silky noise from your throat.

He breaks the kiss as he takes himself in hand, pushes into your dripping cunt. You’re hot, clenching down on him instantly, arms draped around his neck as he lowers himself further, latches his lips to yours. He hitches one of your legs high on his hip, drives into you deep. He had you close on his tongue already, and he rolls his hips hard, catching something deep inside that makes your entire body seize.

“Yes, Din, please, oh gods, please, please, please,” you’re babbling against his lips, one hand pressed flat between his shoulders, the other knotted in the back of his hair. “Yes!”

Just as he said, he kisses you while you cum. He feels it pulse through your body, your limbs taut and then lax, still holding him close. Your hips chase his, cunt clenching tight as a vice, and Din’s not far behind you, pleasure lighting a fuse down his spine.

You pull your lips from his just as he starts to spill in you. Your hand moves to grip his chin, and you force his gaze to yours. He gasps and your mouth mirrors his, lips parted in a soft o, turning to a grin as he grinds into you, painting your insides as deep as he can go. It feels like an implosion, his bones rattled in his body, but then set on the softest bed of silk as he collapses into your chest. You hold him close, petting one hand through his hair, breathing deep and slow until his own evens out, matches yours, until your heartbeat syncs with his.

“Mesh’la?” he calls after a moment, cheek still pressed to your sternum.

“Yes, Din?” you reply, your voice scratchy as your nails start to drag along his scalp. His eyes are heavy.

“I missed you.”

He can hear the smile in your voice. “I missed you too.”

+

Din wakes alone in your bed again.

He thinks it’s the next morning — the rest of what he assume to be evening was spent in your bed, both of you naked and wrapped in each other. Again and again and again, he pulled pleasure from your body, let you pull it from his, found your bliss together. By the time you were both too tired to move, sprawled on the mattress, your head on his shoulder, you’d whispered, “You’re a good kisser, Din Djarin.” And then you were asleep, Din not too far behind.

He dresses quickly, boxers pulled back on, undershirt in his hand as he pads out of the room. He finds you standing in the kitchen, a steaming cup of caf in your hands. The droid — Shrimp, he dimly recalls — is perched on the table, beeping out a message to you. You’re nodding along, blowing the steam off the top of your caf, and your eyes flick to him as he steps into the kitchen.

“You know Peli Motto?”

Din’s brow crinkles with confusion. “You know Peli?”

You scoff. “That woman taught me everything I know.”

“You’re joking.”

“Swear on my hangar.”

Din just laughs, walking around the table. He slides an arm around your waist once he’s close enough, leans into kiss the side of your head. You lean into him. “Why are we talking about Peli?”

“She sent me a message,” you say, offering him your caf. He takes a sip, only feeling more confused. “Asking if I had any spare ships laying around my hangar. A replacement for her Mandalorian friend.”

Din balks. He hasn’t told you about the Crest. “Sweets…”

You step away from him, pressing a hand to his chest as your eyes go wide with realization. “Din Djarin, what did you do to that ship?”

“I didn’t—”

“Din.”

“It was Imps,” he says, trying to reach for your hip. “It wasn’t—”

“Where is the Razor Crest?”

He sighs heavily, and reaches out to take the cup of caf from you again. “Now it’s nothing but a scorch mark on the planet Tython. It was the Imps. They took my son.” The words are out before he can stop them.

Your eyes go so wide he’s worried they might pop out of your skull. “Your son?”

“It’s a long story.”

You pluck the caf out of his hands, walk around the table, pull out a chair and sink into it. “I got nothing but time.”

[wandering-winchesters]

Beneath The Surface

Summary: Dean struggles to keep his growing feelings at bay.

Dean Winchester wasn’t one to get lost in his thoughts—at least, that’s what he liked to tell himself. Life on the road, hunting monsters, saving people, it didn’t leave much room for reflection or introspection. But lately, more and more, he found his thoughts drifting to you.

He couldn’t quite put his finger on when it started. Maybe it was the first time you patched him up after a hunt, your hands steady and sure as you cleaned the blood from his wounds, not flinching or showing a hint of fear. Or maybe it was that night in the bunker when you stayed up late with him, the two of you sipping on whiskey in the library, sharing stories about your pasts, the kind of stories that were usually kept hidden. Somewhere along the way, between the late-night conversations, the hunts that nearly went sideways, and the moments of quiet that were far too rare, you had become more than just a fellow hunter. You had become someone he couldn’t imagine his life without.

Dean wasn’t good with words, never had been. He’d always been more comfortable with action—with a gun in his hand or a wrench under the hood of the Impala. But when it came to you, he found himself wanting to say things he didn’t know how to express. You had a way of getting under his skin, of making him think about things he’d rather not think about—like how he actually felt, or what he wanted out of life. Things he’d buried a long time ago, thinking they had no place in the life he led.

You were different from anyone he’d ever known. You were tough, no doubt about it—you had to be to survive in their world. But there was more to you than just the hunter side. You had this softness, this warmth that Dean found himself drawn to, like a moth to a flame. It was in the way you cared for people, the way you could be in the middle of a fight with some supernatural creature one minute and then offer a kind word or a comforting touch the next. It was in the way you saw him, really saw him, past the tough-guy facade, past the bravado. You saw the man underneath, the one who was tired, who was scared, who was just trying to keep it all together.

Dean often found himself watching you when you weren’t looking. Like when you were hunched over a stack of lore books, your brow furrowed in concentration, or when you were cleaning your weapons with that methodical precision you always had. He noticed the little things—the way you bit your lip when you were deep in thought, the way your eyes lit up when you figured something out, the way you always made sure Sam and Dean had eaten, even when you were just as exhausted and hungry as they were. It was these small, quiet moments that caught him off guard, that made him realize just how much you meant to him.

And then there were the times when you smiled. Dean wasn’t a man who smiled easily—his life hadn’t given him many reasons to. But your smile had a way of breaking through his defenses, of making him forget, even if just for a moment, about all the darkness and the danger. It was like a light in the dark, something pure and good in a world that was anything but. He’d find himself doing things just to see that smile, whether it was cracking a joke, even a bad one, or surprising you with your favorite takeout after a long day. It didn’t make sense, not really, but there it was.

He saw you as more than just another hunter, more than just someone who had his back in a fight. You were his partner, his friend, and, though he’d never said it out loud, you were something more—something he was scared to put a name to. Because if he did, if he let himself admit what he really felt, he knew there’d be no going back. And that scared the hell out of him.

Dean had lost so much in his life—too much. Everyone he cared about had been taken from him at some point or another, and he wasn’t sure he could handle losing you too. That’s why he kept his feelings close, locked away where they couldn’t hurt him. But there were moments, late at night when the world was quiet and it was just the two of you, that he’d let his guard down, just for a second. Like when you were sitting beside him on the hood of the Impala, your shoulders touching, both of you staring up at the stars. In those moments, he’d let himself think about what it would be like to have more, to have something real, something good.

But then the sun would rise, and the hunt would start again, and Dean would push those thoughts aside, bury them deep where they couldn’t distract him. Because he had a job to do, and there was no room for distractions, no matter how much he wanted them.

Still, no matter how hard he tried to keep his feelings in check, they were always there, bubbling just beneath the surface. He couldn’t help it. You had a way of getting to him, of making him want things he’d long ago told himself he couldn’t have.

Dean often found himself wondering what you saw when you looked at him. Did you see the broken man, the one who’d made more mistakes than he could count, who’d lost more than he could ever get back? Or did you see something else, something more? He didn’t know, and he was too afraid to ask. But he knew what he saw when he looked at you. He saw someone strong, someone who’d been through hell and come out the other side, but who still had a heart, who still cared. He saw someone who made him want to be better, who made him believe that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as lost as he thought.

And that scared him more than any monster ever could. Because if he let himself care, if he let himself love, he knew there was a chance he could lose it all. And that was a risk he wasn’t sure he was brave enough to take.

But then he’d look at you, really look at you, and he’d feel something stir inside him—something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Hope. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @hobby27 @jc-winchester @whump-loverz @pizzagirlxnsfwx @king-of-milf-lovers

[teamred]

re: your tags - I am dying to know about your Wade’s sister!reader x Logan fic, omg that sounds so fun 👀💖

-@eupheme

omg hi j!!! @eupheme (gonna tag you in case the ask post doesn't do it)

i actually have two wade's sister!reader x logan fics in the works! i hope you don't mind me sharing both~

the one i was referring to in my tags is called "dusk till dawn".

summary: vanessa is kidnapped, so while wade runs off to save her, he assigns logan to be reader's bodyguard. however, they don't get along, but they start to fall for each other over time.

it'd be a road trip/motel hopping au with lots of banter, sharing one bed, tension, angst, and steamy moments of course 👀

i'm taking inspiration from some of the moments with logan and mariko from the wolverine (2013) movie!

i'd love to share snippets, but it's really in the draft stages right now!!

second fic i have is called "can't help myself" (title tentatitive)

summary: wade only has one rule for logan: his sister is completely off-limits. but of course, logan never plays by the rules, and you couldn't give two shits about what your dumb-ass brother says.

this one would be more of a fun fic!! just like messing with wade but also having fun with logan and lowkey falling for him too

lots of dialogue, especially with wade, smut, fluff, etc. just a vibes fic

wouldn't be as long as the other fic - i wrote quite a bit for this already! here's a snippet of the intro:

“Don't look at her,” Wade paces around his apartment’s living room, listing the things Logan, his new roommate, should avoid when he meets his sister tomorrow. “Don't breathe in her presence, don't even think about her, and especially don't—” 

“What, ya gonna tell me I can’t fuck her next?” Logan cuts in with an amused chuckle, reclining on the living room couch with a hand above his head. 

“Yes, bingo!” Wade exclaims, pointing at him excitedly. “Exactly that, you geriatric sexy vampire. Or should I technically say vampire hunter?” He pauses, wondering for a moment. 

“Anyways,” he continues, “you can have any woman you want in this new universe—hell, I’ll cry my heart out every night after my evening jerk-off seshes, but you can even have Vanessa—but my sister? We’re gonna have a repeat of the Honda Odyssey fight, Wolvie, and that won’t be a pretty sight to see.” 

“Okay,” Logan replies, getting up from the couch and heading toward the kitchen. “I’ll make sure to fuck your sister until she forgets the fact that she's your sister. Got it.” 

“Hey!” Wade smacks him on the back as he’s bent over, trying to grab a beer from the fridge. A low growl escapes from him. “I’m being serious here.” 

“When are you ever serious?” Logan asks, popping off the beer cap with his thumb. 

“Now! I am being serious now.” Wade’s voice rises before he takes a second to compose himself, closing his eyes and inhaling slowly. Logan watches him carefully, sipping his beer. 

“Please, Logan,” he barely whispers, avoiding eye contact. 

The silence, punctuated only by Logan’s sipping, feels uncomfortable and heavy. Finally, Logan lets out a sigh.

“Fine,” he grunts. “I won’t get involved with your sister.” 

Wade breaks into a relieved smile and extends his pinky. “You promise?” 

Despite Logan rolling his eyes and shaking his head, he ends up hooking his pinky around Wade’s, sealing the deal.

Except Wade doesn’t see Logan’s other hand behind his back, with his middle and index fingers crossed over another.

[cxrdycxps]

Black Box Warning • Ellie Williams

☢️ toxic reader • toxic Ellie • bad for each other • sad reader • mentions of suicide • alcohol abuse • reader and Ellie are kind of rough with each other • grief ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

The more of me you see, the less of me you’ll like.

You fucking hated Jackson. You hated starvation more so obviously you didn’t leave. But Jackson was the worst fucking thing that ever happened to you. It was everything your sister would’ve loved but she was dead in a forest in Virginia and here you were. The lone fucking survivor.

Jackson was full of happy people who laughed and smiled and enjoyed the normal life. Jackson was full of fucking actors. There was still a ravaged earth outside their walls and no dance nights in a run down bar would change that.

You went to them though because it was easier to get over served at the bar when it was crowded. Sometimes you’d actually get drunk before Seth cut you off.

There wasn’t much coming or going from Jackson, not in the six months you had lived there. There was a bit of fanfare when some girl showed up with a baby. She had used to live there and her kid belonged to the dead son of the school teacher.

You hadn’t stuck around to hear much more. You didn’t care. People died every fucking day, no one cared, not really or the world would stop. The world should pause for grief but it doesn’t. Sometimes you take a deep breath and you keep running.

Besides working and drinking, Jackson didn’t offer much in a way that let your exorcise your demons. Not until Ellie Williams returned and a couple of smart comments turned into a busted lip. Then you could taste the blood on her lips. Taste the sweat on her skin, taste her orgasm.

It wasn’t love. It wasn’t even like, not really. You ended up living together for convenience, she needed a room and you liked having access to fuck her when you needed to feel something.

There wasn’t a surface in that house that hadn’t been christened with nail gouging, biting, cursing sex. It was rough and ready and it never really helped. Not really.

A lot of people thought you were a couple. Ellie’s not-uncle Tommy thought it, Ellie’s not-right-now-not aunt Maria thought it, and Ellie’s ex girlfriend thought it. Neither of you corrected anyone. There was no point explaining how you both hurt each other to make yourself feel better.

“You were probably really good at this before you lost those fingers.” You told Ellie offhand and then gasped when her teeth punctured the skin of you bicep. “You’re like a fucking rabid dog, Jesus Christ.”

“Oh fuck off.” Ellie abandoned you across the arm of the sofa and you looked over your shoulder at her.

“You’re seriously going to stop?” You asked her, aghast. She only did that when she was really moody.

“Fuck off.”

You muttered under your breath as you pulled your jeans up. Ellie slammed out the door and you stared at the brown hunters’ jacket she had left behind her. The snow had fallen heavily and she had patrol today.

You had to walk by the stables to get to the watch tower and you pulled on your own jacket before grabbing hers and muttering under your breath. At the last minute you tossed the jacket back on the hook. She had left you hanging. Let her get fucking hypothermia.

You were half way to the stables when you met her doubling back and you weren’t too mature to laugh at her when she rolled her eyes at you. “Could’ve brought it.”

“Could’ve let me cum. Go fuck yourself, Williams.” You pulled your own coat tighter against the frozen drifts. When you arrived at the East gate you found your watch partner and tilted your head back to stare at the sky with a groan. “Not my fucking day.”

“Suck it up. Don’t care about your lovers tiff.” Eli snapped at you and you pictured him with a busted lip and several missing teeth. It helped the annoyance. “First Ellie forgets her fucking jacket and then you’re late and complaining.”

“Cut Ellie some slack.” Dina chided Eli and you chuckled to yourself. Always in her corner even when Ellie had abandoned her and her child. “You know what today is.”

“Oh fuck. It’s Joel’s dead day.” You swore before wincing. You knew it had to be something bad for her to leave you hanging like that. “Shit.”

“You forgot her father’s anniversary.” Dina stared at you, a disgusted look on her face. You looked at her with a shrug and her jaw dropped. “The most traumatic experience of her life and you forgot? You’re her fucking girlfriend.”

“I mean, the most traumatic experience was probably her girlfriend being pregnant. That would fuck with me for sure.” You scoffed and made to climb the scaffolding that climbed the wall.

“God you’re so fucking useless to her.” Dina didn’t let it go, following you closely. You blocked her out, wondering what was the point of patrolling the wall when you could barely see the tree line with the snow. “She needs you to support her.”

“Dina, you’re confusing me with someone who gives a fuck.” You told her, watching as the gates opened and the trail patrol groups set out on horse back. “So some old dude got his head bashed in. I didn’t know him. I don’t care.”

“You’re her girlfriend.” Dina repeated and you shrugged. You wondered if you were her girlfriend. That seemed to be too big of a title for housemates that fucked each other to avoid their grief. Ellie hadn’t remembered your sister’s anniversary. Why should you remember Joel’s?

“Look, you fumbled your chance with her. You came back to Jackson to start again without her. If you want her that bad then have her.” You checked the rifle left in the patrol hut and checked the bullets left for you.

“You’d give her up that easy?” Dina asked, astounded in that very judgmental way she had. You looked up at her, bored with the conversation. “You’d just pass her off?”

“I would and yet you still don’t want her.” You laughed. “That’s kind of telling.”

Dina didn’t say anything and you settled in for a long eight hours, the rickety chair creaked when you took a seat on it, rifle in your lap. You wondered if you could argue the cold had earned you an extra drink or two to warm back up. Sometimes Seth felt bad for you. Most times he just told you to fuck off.

“I didn’t just give her up.” Dina spoke what felt like hours later. You didn’t look away from the snow because you didn’t care enough to let her know you were listening. “She left me and JJ. I didn’t expect her to come back.”

“Is it cause she’s down those two fingers? Because let me tell you, that hand? A complete write off. It does nothing of note.” Dina made a disgusted sound and you laughed, incredulous. “I mean you’ve got a kid, you’re not exactly in place to play the blushing virgin.”

“Do you understand what it’s like to love someone who sees themself as a sacrifice?” You would never tell Dina but you understood. Every time you closed your eyes you saw her face as she made the decision to sacrifice her life so that you’d survive.

She was stupid. Your sister. She had so much more to offer the world than you could’ve ever. You’d spent every day for the last five years torturing yourself for her decision. You, better than anyone, related to Dina. You knew what it was to be left behind.

“I do.” You shrugged turning to face Dina. You didn’t tell her you weren’t talking about Ellie. “But I didn’t abandon her, so I guess that makes me better than you.”

“Or it just makes you more stupid.” Dina argued and you knew she probably had a point. You would never tell her. “Ellie ruined everything we had because of a man who she didn’t even like when he died.”

“Stop talking. Or I’ll throw you off the fucking wall.” You pinched the bridge of you nose to fend off the coming headache. It seemed that you had only encouraged her.

“She hadn’t talked to him in months when he died. She felt bad because she hadn’t liked him.” Dina insisted.

“You’re so fucking stupid. He saved her life. I know you’ve seen her fucking arm. They were gonna cut it out of her brain to maybe try and make a vaccine. He killed the fucking doctor and his daughter killed Joel. That’s how it works. It’s a cycle!” You snapped at Dina who looked shocked, leaning away from you. “She loved Joel, she just couldn’t understand his reasoning for choosing her over the rest of the world. He loved her more than the world. You don’t turn into what we are over someone you don’t fucking love.”

“I don’t know-”

“It’s a twenty foot drop. I will make JJ an orphan.”

///

“You sort it out with Dina or you tell her to fuck off.” You didn’t give Ellie a second to even get in the door, finger digging into her chest. “I had to her spend eight hours with her stupid commentary on how I should treat you better.”

“Tell her yourself. I don’t fucking care.” Ellie kicked her converse off and dropped her bag, shrugging by you. “Anything to eat?”

“Do I look like a fucking house wife?” You asked her with a scoff and she rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath. “Head on over to Dina’s, I’m sure she’ll make you something.”

“Stop with the fucking Dina rhetoric, I’m here, ain’t I?” Ellie slammed her hand down on the table in the kitchen and you laughed coldly.

“Should I be glad? Am I winning by eating off a plate that Dina licked clean?” Ellie narrowed her eyes at you and then your head hit the wall. Her hand was around your neck and you let your eyes shut slowly. “Finish what you started.”

“Jesus, you’re such a needy fucking bitch. Picking a fight because I didn’t let you cum this morning. You got fingers, don’t ya?” She asked, her free hand unbuttoning your jeans. She didn’t pull them down, just slipped her hand inside and laughed cruelly. “You been this wet all day or does my hand around your neck really do it for you?”

“Like three fifths of a hand.” You gasped and she squeezed tighter around your neck and pinched your clit cruelly. You would’ve been embarrassed with how much this was working for you if you cared at all what Ellie thought of you. Instead you ground against her hand as she pumped two fingers into you. You shuddered against her when you came and let her push you to your knees.

There was no smart comments when she shucked her jeans and boxers, pushing you forward by a grip on your hair. You didn’t bother to tease, paying extra attention to her clit, just how she liked it. She held you in place while she came and you stayed without complaint while she spasmed around your tongue. “At least you’re good for something.”

“Oh fuck off, Ellie.” You sighed and pushed yourself to stand up. You didn’t give her any further attention and moved for the shower, knowing she would bang on the door as soon as she realized. She preferred showering when she got home.

She got her revenge on you later that night. Hoarse screams came from the next room. Shouts of Joel’s name along with pitiful cries had you shoving your blankets down and making your way into her room.

She sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands. She was shivering in the cold and you watched her for a second. “Get out.”

“You’ve woken me twice already.” You told her, leaning on the door frame. She still didn’t look up and you realized she wasn’t shivering. She was crying. “Can’t save them all.”

She had said that to you once, when your told her about your sister. You had punched her and then fucked her for it. She didn’t even react to the words and you stepped into the room. “Get back into bed.”

“Fuck off.” She did as she was told and you slipped in beside her. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Shut up and turn around.” She faced the wall, her back to you and you pressed up against her, an arm around her middle. “It’s too cold to sleep alone tonight.”

///

Ellie was always awkward the day after you shared a bed. It didn’t happen often, it was never planned, and you preferred to pretend it didn’t happen.

“Hey,” Ellie spoke quietly from the kitchen doorway. You didn’t look up, letting your tea steep. “I’m sorry about last night. Yesterday was-”

“Joel’s death day. I know.” She paused in place and you finally looked over to watch her consider your words. “Dina reminded me.”

“Oh. Okay. Well I’m sorry for waking you anyway.” She mumbled and you shrugged. “And thank you.”

“I had to get to sleep at some point.” You told her blandly, turning back to your tea and removing the leaves. “Was the only solution.”

“Jesus, do you have a fucking off button for that attitude. Every time we do anything that might show this is more than fucking you shut down.” You laughed and turned to face Ellie.

“More than fucking? I’m just a hole and a mouth that you use to get yourself off. You are no different for me. If you want emotions go somewhere else.” You told her and she rolled her eyes.

“Imagine your sister sacrificing her whole life for you to end up this bitter fucking shell of a person.” Ellie laughed bitterly. “What a fucking way to honor her.”

“Oh, so that’s how you’re feeling this morning?” You asked with raised eyebrows. “Atleast I didn’t walk out on my girlfriend and kid to trek across the country and avenge my father just to let his killer go at the last second.”

“Your obsession with Dina is bordering on a mental illness.” Ellie accused and you shrugged, sipping at your tea. “She’s into women, you might have a chance.”

“Yeah? So she can turn me into whatever the fuck sort of lap dog she made you? I’ll pass.” You kissed your teeth when Ellie stepped closer. “You act all high and mighty but I know you got down on your knees and begged her to take you back and she said no.”

Ellie clenched her fists and you braced yourself for impact but she only shook her head, turning on her heel and slamming out the door. You stared at the brown hunting jacket for the second day in a row.

You would’ve brought it this time but that wasn’t very ‘bitter shell of a person’ of you.

///

Seth was distracted this evening. He had served you nearly double what he usually did. You let the music drown out your thoughts and sipped at your whiskey. You were bordering on what could be considered tipsy. Your toe was tapping along to the music and it could actually be described as a pleasant evening.

Of course, you never got that kind of peace for long. You weren’t overly polite when a grating voice started somewhere to your left. You ran a hand down your face and tried to ignore it. Everyone else was able to go on with their day and you needed just one good one.

You could have a few more drinks, if Seth was amenable, wait for Ellie to finish her night with Tommy and then get throughly fucked when you got home with Ellie’s hand around your neck and her filthy words in your ears.

“I’m beginning to think you two don’t even like each other.” Nope. There it went. Your pleasant buzz, your nice evening. With just two seconds and a handful of words, Dina had ruined it all.

You ignored her, sipping from your drink again. She didn’t like that and pushed in on your side and took the stool next to yours. You let your head tip back and huffed out a breath. “You never sit near each other in public. Any interaction the pair of you have is openly hostile.”

“Dina, I have worked by your side for four days this week, that’s thirty two whole hours I had to listen to your opinions. I don’t care. Now fuck off.” You told her, tracing your index finger around the rim of your glass. Your pleasant buzz was long gone and now the drink was fueling your anger, riling you up quickly.

“Why bother pretending?” Dina asked and you looked up. Your eyes caught Ellie’s first. She was watching you, half out of her seat. You turned away from her to look at Dina.

“Pretending what?” You asked her with a laugh. “We live together. We fuck. That’s all there is to it.”

“Except every time you looked at her tonight you got this serene little smile on your lips. Why are you pretending you don’t feel anything for her?” Dina asked and you blinked at her.

“Why are you pretending you aren’t mad at her for getting Jesse killed and then passing up the opportunity to kill the one who killed him?” You asked and stood from your stool, downing the last of your whiskey.

You were almost two steps away when a hand gripped your arm. Ellie almost barreled into you in her rush to get Dina’s grip off you. “Don’t fucking touch her.”

Ellie stood in your way to get to Dina and you shook your hands out, keeping your mouth shut now that people were watching. “She doesn’t like that.”

“Time you get on out of here.” Seth spoke from behind the bar.

“Time you stopped over serving her.” Ellie snapped at him, still staring at Dina. Seth only sighed and shook his head.

“It’s her sisters anniversary.” Seth spoke quietly and Ellie laughed bitterly.

“That’s in June. Stop fucking enabling her.” Ellie turned away from Dina and Seth and grabbed your hand in hers and dragged you from the bar. “Is it too much to ask for one nice night?”

You pulled your hand free and crossed your arms. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to her. You always felt like a child when you did. “It wasn’t-”

“I’m not blaming you. That was all her.” Ellie assured you and you nodded. You stumbled a little, more than tipsy now the air hit you. Ellie’s hand shot out to catch you and you fell against her. “Let’s get you home.”

“Birthday. It’s her birthday.” Ellie paused in place and let you lean against her. She wrapped an arm around you and pulled you against her. “I was trying to have a nice day. Was just enjoying my evening.”

“I know. I was watching you.” Ellie didn’t say anything else but she did urge you to start moving again. You leaned against her and she kept an arm wrapped around you. When you got home she let you go and you wrapped your arms around yourself and made your way to the sofa. “You want a glass of water?”

You didn’t answer Ellie, tipping yourself to the side and pressing your face into the sofa cushions.

///

You woke on the sofa, your head tilted to the side and a blanket tossed over you. Ellie had put a bucket on the ground too. You weren’t the kind of person to puke while drinking but she was so you could understand it.

It was still dark and you were fucking freezing. Your teeth chattered and you shuffled up to your room, changing your clothes quickly and staring at your empty bed. Ellie’s would be warm. Ellie would be warm.

She blinked at you from under her blanket when you cracked her door open. She had left her lamp on and you wondered if it was just in case you came in. She didn’t say anything but she shuffled over and lifted her blanket. You took the offered place, pressing your face into her neck when she wrapped her arms and the blanket around you.

“Thank you.” She only hummed, her hand sliding under your top to softly stroke the skin of your back. It didn’t take her long to drift back off to sleep and you watched her in the low light from the lamp.

You wondered if you could ever be what Ellie needed. You knew she needed to heal, she needed to be forgiven for her imagined sins. You weren’t sure you had that in you. You still hadn’t forgiven your sixteen year old self for letting your sister die.

You had spent every single day since punishing yourself for her death. She was your age now when she died and you wondered if you would ever make that decision?

If you would’ve sacrificed yourself to save her?

You weren’t sure you’d ever done anything that didn’t serve yourself first.

///

“I should’ve fucking known that pairing you up would’ve resulted in this.” Eli sighed when you arrived to the stables without Ellie. “Where is she?”

“Fucked if I know.” You told him honestly. Ellie had been off with you since that night in the bar over a month ago. She disappeared for hours at a time and you hadn’t bothered to ask where she was going to escape you.

“I’m here.” She left the stables with Shimmer and Henry in tow, both of your preferred horses. Ellie shared a look with you but you had nothing to add so you just took Henry’s reins and boosted yourself up onto the horse.

You and Ellie had patrolled together a number of times. It was how you had both first met, back when she had just arrived back in Jackson. It had resulted in some of the best sex of your life.

There wasn’t much discussion between you both, mutters about directions and when to stop and take a break. You usually let Ellie make the decisions because she was outside the wall more often than you were.

She was distracted today though. She had missed two turns and an outpost that needed to be signed. You called her attention quietly the first two times and by the outpost your very limited patience was gone.

“Jesus fucking Christ. Will you pay attention before you get me killed!” You snapped at her, hopping down off Henry to sign the log book stashed inside the dilapidated farmhouse.

“Why do you hate Dina?” Ellie asked when you looked up from your signature. She was standing in the doorway, blocking your exit. “Like you really hate her.”

“I don’t hate her.” You sighed, wondering why Ellie chose now of all moments to bring it up. Maybe that’s where she had been the last month. With Dina. Maybe she was leaving you. Did you have her enough for her to leave?

“You really hate her. Like I thought you were going to punch her that night in the bar.” Ellie sighed and you shrugged. “I need to know why.”

“Why?” You asked her quietly. She wasn’t going to let you leave so you took a seat on a rickety arm chair, dust puffing up when you took a seat. “Why do you need to know all of a sudden?”

“It’s important to me.” She told you earnestly and you shrugged again. You didn’t hate Dina. You disliked her, sure, but you disliked everyone. “I need to know.”

“I guess it would make it easier, huh?” You asked Ellie with a cold laugh. “I tell you why I hate the woman you love and you can go back to her without guilt, right?”

“No. The part of my life spent with Dina is over. I’m not the person I was and it wouldn’t work any longer.” Ellie sighed. “I’m with you now. That’s not going to change because you hate Dina.”

“I don’t fucking hate Dina!” You snapped and Ellie raised her eyebrows at you. You ran a hand over your face and sighed. “I don’t.”

“You feel something very strongly for her.” Ellie moved closer, taking a seat on the sofa. The same plume of dust came up when she sat and she coughed. “I need you to explain it for me.”

“She thinks we’re the same. She thinks because she loved you that she knows what we are.” You told Ellie and she nodded. “She asked me once if I know what it’s like to love someone who sees themselves as a sacrifice.”

“And you do.” Ellie sighed softly. You nodded, your hands clasped tightly. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you that I’m sorry, about your sisters death and how it affected you.”

“I’m sorry about Joel.” You sighed, your head tipping forward so your expression was hidden. “Dina was wrong though.”

“About what?” Ellie asked. You didn’t look up at her this time, the conversation more real that anything either of you had shared before.

“She’s never loved a sacrifice.” You explained, clearing your throat didn’t help, the lump stuck. “You’re not a sacrifice. You’ve never been a sacrifice. Joel knew that, that’s why he stepped in that time. I can see it. You don’t throw yourself into fights you can’t win. You throw yourself into fights you will win.”

“I don’t thin- I don’t know if that’s-”

“You fight for the ones you love. You fight for those who fought for you. Joel risked everything to keep you alive. He was a fighter too. Both of you lost a fight the day he died. But with even ten minutes more of a chance he would’ve lived. The people fighting you both knew that. It took years to be able to beat you.” You explained to her. “That’s not a sacrifice, Ellie. That’s the unfortunate reality of the life we live.”

“I couldn’t save him.” She whispered and you nodded. “I won’t ever forgive myself.”

“I know. I couldn’t save her. She wanted to go. She had always wanted to go. She didn’t sacrifice herself for me. She wanted out and she took it in a way that looked meaningful.” You explained and Ellie blinked at you. “She was always sad. She always had been. She welcomed death. I’ll never forgive her.”

“I didn’t know that.” Ellie whispered and you looked up at last to face her. You didn’t say anything, wiping under your eyes. “You never told me.”

“I don’t discuss my feelings Ellie.” You sighed, exhausted. “So no, I don’t hate Dina. I’m jealous that she got this version of you, one that was full of life and she let you go over some misguided theory.”

“You wish I wasn’t like this.” Ellie wasn’t asking. “You want who I was.”

“I want who we were.” You explained. “If we had both met at eighteen we’d have been unstoppable. I would’ve had the love you needed.”

“You don’t love me now?” This time Ellie was asking and you blinked at her.

“Of course I love you. I think you might be the only person in this world that I love. But I don’t love you how you need.” You told her with a sigh. “We ruin each other every night and then kiss the cracks we’ve left on each other’s hearts like that will fix it. This ain’t healthy.”

“So you want to break up?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. You wanted her to understand so bad.

“I should want to. I should leave so that we can both heal but Ellie, I can’t live without you. So we’ll never get better.”

///

You thought Ellie would come home more after your conversation. You had never felt as exposed as you had returning from the patrol. She had walked back to the house with you, arms just barely brushing when you walked.

You hadn’t even made it in the door when she was pinning you against the wall, her face pressed into your neck. She had kissed her way down your body, undressing you tenderly. You hadn’t ever experienced this gentleness from her and you had to choke back the tears that welled in your eyes.

It had been so long since someone had been gentle with you that you had almost forgotten what it felt like.

She made you cum with her mouth and when you tried to return the favor she had only pulled you close and in a move she had never made before, she hugged you close and kissed your forehead.

She left you soon after, claiming she had something she needed to do. You let her leave, your own mind on what you had to do.

You pushed into the kitchen, pulling the bottle of whiskey out from the drinks cabinet and emptied the whole thing down the drain. You winced, watching the last of it leave the bottle.

You left then and headed straight for the Tipsy Bison. Seth met you at the counter looking stern. “Three is your cut off point tonight.”

“No, I’m not- would you, could you cut me off? Altogether?” You asked him, hesitating. “Even if I ask?”

“If you’re sure?” He asked you and you nodded. He shook his head with a smile and you gave him a weak offer of a smile back. “I’ll let the others know. This is a good thing, kid.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure if I believe it.” You told him and he laughed. “It’s an important thing though.”

“She’s worth every bit of it.” Seth promised and this time you laughed, amazed at how transparent you were being. “It’s time the two of you realized that.”

///

When you got home Ellie hadn’t returned. You wondered again where it was that she had been disappearing off to. You didn’t want to push her, waiting to see if she’d come to you. If things really had changed.

It wasn’t until you went to bed that you found the note on your pillow.

I need you to know that I know how this looks. I know it looks like I set everything up today just to let you down again. I didn’t know that you felt the way you did. I didn’t know that you could ever love me. I’ve been planning this for a while and I hate that we got so close to being normal and I’m going to ruin it. Maybe you’re right, maybe in another life or another timeline we would’ve been happy. I’m sorry that it isn’t this one.

I need to do this.

Love always,

Ellie.

[unicyclehippo]

ok so i submitted a story for a competition & didn't get far but i was pretty happy with it so imma post it here for y'all. pls enjoy!

YEAR OF THE WOLF

Blood and shampoo wash pink down the shower drain. My body aches, back hot with pain. I gotta stretch more, I think, before remembering what time of month it is.

I’m not stupid, I want that to be known up top.

Tired? Yes. A bit forgetful now and then? Certainly. Overly reliant on blind optimism? Of course. Who can afford for things to go wrong these days? But stupid? No. Not about this, anyway. I’ve known for almost a decade that I’m a werewolf. I just thought if I ignored it long enough it would stop, or at least stay low on the list of important things I had to deal with—somewhere between turning thirty and the world burning down around our ears.

Still, it manages to take me by surprise each month. I see the blood, feel the shift-pull-crack of bones and vitals, the wet throb of viscera and organs, as my body reshapes itself. The wolf and I share a space not big enough for two; something must give way.

I lose time daydreaming about it. Transforming. My only plan for the day is work, maybe video games later, cooking dinner. I could call in sick. I could clear away the bathmat and towels and fall to my hands and knees and change into something bloody and terrible and wonderful, I could lay myself down on the soft carpet in the sunrays, decadent, I could leap from my balcony, powerful, and lope away into the bush off the track to explore the silver-blue of the leaves and the cathedral termite mounds, I could—

The shower pipes groan, rattle, and spit freezing water down onto me.

I don’t transform.

I towel off. The mirror shows me a human with the same soft features as ever. Shampoo suds clinging to my shoulders. Hair cut short and plastered down on chalk-white skin paler than usual. The doctor warned me low iron was a side-effect of transformation but I look myself over for another cause. Lift my arms, twist to check my back. There’s a pimple or two where my binder digs in but no injuries. I promise the doctor in my head I’ll bring it up at our next appointment.

My doctor is a careful woman, dedicated and precise. She sits primly and dresses well—her blouse is fashionable, flowery, her trousers professional and practical. She keeps notes in a leatherbound book and her thoughts securely behind her eyes. She asked me to keep track of any changes Inoticed. I pull out a crumpled receipt where I’d scrawled some notes.

tired

hungry

headaches

more dreams than usual

tired—oh I already wrote that down. still true

irritated way more by stuff?

jaw hurts?

‘Alright,’ she says, writing it down on her page about me.

I sit hunched opposite her, then fix my posture, then let my shoulders droop again, conscious of being too broad, too big. In the time it takes for her to commit a few brief notes to paper, I’m struggling not to get distracted by the lights and their electric buzz—the popping stop and start as the filaments crackle in the bulbs. My eyes wander over neat stacks of paperwork, a penholder with all the pens pointed in the same direction.

‘We’re going to order a blood test. You’re right, the fatigue and headaches could be an indicator of iron deficiency.’

‘Okay.’

‘Do you know if there’s a history?’

‘Of…iron deficiency?’

She smiles. ‘Of lycanthropy.’

The question makes my head spin. There’s been some excitement about there being some genetic predisposition to lycanthropy (unconfirmed), which half my friends were leery of, seeing the research as another way for hunters to exterminate us, and half took to romantic spirals, daydreaming about their ancestors being just like them. But the doc is asking about, like, my parents and grandparents, and it makes me laugh.

‘No. No way.’ I think harder. Is it possible? My maternal grandparents, definitely not. But my dad’s parents…I don’t know that well. ‘I could ask, maybe.’

After the three haphazard sessions we’ve had stretching across eleven months, which chiefly feature my repeated and sustained reluctance to talk, she indicates her doubt with a quiet raised brow.

It’s fair. I don’t tend to do things I don’t want to do, even if they’re important. Sometimes, especially if they’re important.

At the end of our fifteen-minute session, she walks me to the door and beneath the stench of eucalyptus-scented cleaner that makes my nose itch and head ache, I catch a whiff of her cologne. Wood pine and wild.

I think about it all day.

Has she helped me because she’s like me? The thought races ahead of me, tempting; I sprint after it. I wonder what she wears at home. Does she google boxers for bed because they seem so comfortable? Does she veer at the last moment to Boyfriend shorts! Now in satin – for HER! Or does she kick the world off at the front door next to her shoes and just…exist. Is she like me? Just a person who does things? Or is she a woman who does things? Or a person who does woman things or a woman who does womanly things or a woman who does things knowing they’re not womanly and caring or not caring? Does she splinter the cage that would contain her and let the hungry animal of her body carry her to meat and sleep and hunting and to the warmth of her partner at rest?

Is she like me?

As a kid, I wanted to take karate. My brother wanted to sing. Somehow, I ended up in the music class. It was in a demountable that creaked, off-key, with every step and stunk of the creek next door. The singing teacher had a red round face and told me not to sing too loud—I was practicing to be part of the choir, I should be part of the group. That group was made up entirely of nervous and near-silent girls who shivered with the desire above all else not to stand out. (I learned that part well.)

On the other side of school, my brother stood in karate class with a teacher who ignored him and older boys who picked on him—he was short back then, with baby fat still on his cheeks, and had a close relationship with boredom and distraction that came from being smarter than most.

Once we figured out the joke being played on us, our places switched, we made a pact to teach each other what we learned. It didn’t last. Within three lessons, I spent more time on the walk to the classroom than in class; I dawdled in the fields and by the creek, tracking beetles and digging for dinosaur bones in the mud. When I did arrive, it was twenty-five minutes late with dirt under my nails and finally the teacher told me not to show up. My brother took a faster approach and called the teacher a moron. Mum had to pick him up early from class and neither of us learned very much.

My gran lives hours away and I never got the impression she liked me much. I think about sitting in her drawing room, the sticky-sugar smell from bottles of fancy port on the shelf, and her sitting opposite, eyes hawklike, mouth pursed and tongue sharp. I don’t visit her. I think about asking my dad instead and, while he does like me, he doesn’t like werewolves and I’m not ready to risk exile.

I get my blood drawn. The doctor prescribes iron pills and congratulates me on my teeth coming in.

My mother doesn’t like my sharp teeth or short hair or the way I sit. I want to tell her I didn’t do anything to my teeth; that if anyone is to blame for the handsome jut of my canines, the neat, careful way they can tear flesh from bone, it’s her. She made me. But saying stuff like that only opens up the room for more questions.

‘Do you like it? Looking like that?’

It will hurt her if I say yes. When you are a daughter, wanting to change means you don’t want to become your mother, which means you don’t love her.

I can’t say no.

The wolf stirs. It wants me to say yes. It loves fiercely and loves me most of all. But it isn’t the one who has to live here—work, be a daughter, a sister. It won’t be the one who has to listen to my mother tell me to be sure before I tell anyone else because there’s no going back and people will hate me for it, just for being, and that she can’t support me doing that to myself, that it’s against the god she’s never thought twice about, and has someone talked me into it?

I’m not ready for that.

‘It’s just teeth,’ I say.

She shakes her head but doesn’t ask any more questions. I think she’s scared I’ll tell her the truth.

am i a coward?

My friend Luna takes a long while to answer.

While I wait, I wash the dishes I’ve been “soaking” for three days; the kitchen smells of dish soap when I’m done and the world is a little cleaner. Outside, my balcony is drenched in sunlight. I make my coffee and sit out there, turning my nose to the wind. Somewhere close by, someone is cooking chicken loaded up with paprika. It’s more accurate to say they’re burning chicken. Next door, my neighbour digs through the rich dirt of their garden and plants rosemary and lavender.

My phone lights up.

No, she says. Then, Why do you ask?

the whole werewolf thing. i won’t transform, wont tell my family.

This reply is much faster. Definitely not.

i feel like one

First of all, you transform when it’s right & as much or little as you want & that changes from person to person. Second, being safe is not cowardly.

yeah

Do you want to tell them?

The coffee is gorgeously strong. After a few gulps, I feel like someone has brushed the cobwebs out of my head.

it’s like. there’s this version of me in their heads that isn’t real yknow. like im not a person im a cloud in person shape & sometimes they get a glimpse of my hand or whatever. & its safe inside the cloud its harder to hit me but . they cant see me

Mm

sorry i know this is teenager shit

In the distance, a fire alarm starts to blare.

No it’s good. I get it, obviously. And you know my parents were awful when I told them but we go running every month now. The question isn’t “am I a coward”. The question is, are you prepared to confront that version of yourself in their heads? Are you ready for it to change?

i wish i knew. how it would change i mean. bc i feel like if i knew for Sure that they would take it badly then that’s one thing & i could deal w that. & if i knew theyd be fine w it i could deal with That but. i don’t know. & its freaking me out. but it’s also like…ok i don’t live w them, i’ve got a job, idont rely on them for anything. what real bad consequences could there be?

Dots pop up at the bottom of the screen. They disappear after a minute, then reappear, as Luna takes her time to answer. Finally, she says,

By announcing the real version of yourself, you open yourself up to vulnerability. Things that didn’t bother you before will feel uncomfortable or hurt because it touches you. And when you change the way that you exist in the eyes of people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, you invite the possibility that they will reveal the love was in fact conditional & not for you, that you somehow failed to live up to the person they imagined you to be

mate i’m already scraping the bottom lol

You’re wonderful, Luna says, because she can tell when a joke isn’t really a joke. Her worst trait. If they can’t see that, it doesn’t mean it’s not true.

yeah

You don’t have to tell everyone. You could pick whoever would take it best & get someone on your side. When I take too long to answer, Luna sends a string of photos—her dogs, her family in matching hiking shirts, the view of the nearly full moonon her side of the world. I’m on your side, she says. Always. Let me know how it goes.

The full moon burns, beckons. We are both gloriously awake this time. I have never been more awake. The sky is a black lake and when it rains we taste space and stars and smog. The stairs are slick with the rain. On all fours we are sure, quick, eager! The grass is waiting for us! Splendid! Everything is incandescent in silver, including me. The grass—dew-wet, green scent full in our nose—invites us to roll in it, sticks its seedlings to our fur, tagalongs on our adventure. We run! Smell everything! ticklegrass wetmoss possum pee BUG rough brick mud SPIKY plant big tree lavender dog smell road gutter old leaves bird feathers vinegar shARP on my tongue bag crinkles between our teeth

The days’ heat still smoulders on the surface of the road. We are standing in the centre of it, massive, when a car crests the hill. It stops, engine rumbling and blue-glare lights illuminating us. It waits for us to cross the road before driving on. The driver stares from their seat. In one easy jump, we clear the fence and disappear.

Three more streets and the road ends. The world is huge, bigger than I could have imagined. There’s dirt here! dirt mud rocks beetles scuffling under the leaves koala musk leads to claw marks at the base of trees.

The wolf likes it when I’m awake. It wants to show me the world. Look, its questing nose says, look what you miss out on when you sleep.

It takes us to a termite mound and we listen to them sing.

We stay out all night, trekking through the pocket of national park. I am the biggest thing in the forest. Nothing frightens me. We find a creek filled with every fascination the world has to offer. Ten thousand wet stones, bottle caps, an ill-tempered fish.

When the sun rises, I am sore and covered in blood. I call my brother to pick me up. I stand by the edge of the park to wait for him; at the bottom of the hill, the highway stretches out like a grey branch, cars buzzing along it like bugs. A firefly splits off from it, flying towards me.

The yellow of the headlights cuts through the trees. Inside the car, my brother jumps when he sees me and the light reflecting off my eyes. The wolf is still awake and we move fast and strong to the passenger side door.

He knows.

I can tell. Smell it on him, see it in his uneasy posture. He knows and still I can’t say it. It feels like I’ve swallowed a bird whole, alive. It trembles, stuck in my throat. When I think about talking it pecks at my tongue and if I open my mouth, if I try to explain, he will see my bloody tongue and the bird and he’ll see me all wrong, all the ugly brutish parts of me I’d like to keep hidden, if I can.

The wolf is still awake. It isn’t scared; it is massive and powerful, it can bite through anything, it can run forever without getting tired. We can. And if there is ever a time to talk to my brother, to let him know who I am, it is now.

I do not want him to think I am a bloody-mouthed girl.

I want him to know I am not a coward. I am myself, a werewolf, alive and finally happy for it.

The wolf yawns. I catch a glimpse of my teeth in the mirror, sharp.

‘Hey.’ Of all the ways to break a very tense silence, it’s not the worst. ‘Thank you. For picking me up.’

He risks a look at me, away from the road. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah.’

A muscle tics in his cheek as he chews on silence. He’s upset that I won’t say more. So am I. I want to. The bird is in the way. I have always had to trick myself into talking; it is never easy, not in doctor’s office, not in my parents’ home, not in the forest, or my brother’s car.

We slow. Ahead, the traffic lights paint the dashboard red. The car shivers around us, idling. I can feel it shake through my bare feet, dirty and scratched up from the rocks, pressed to the rubber floor mats.

The first word comes out like a pulled tooth.

‘I—need to say.’ He glances my way. I think, briefly, about jumping out the window but the light turns green so I can’t. I have to talk instead. ‘I’m a werewolf.’

He drives. I realise he must have been waiting to talk, really talk, because this is the first time I’ve been in his car without music playing.

‘I think the proper term is lycanthrope,’ he says, finally.

‘Dude.’

‘Sorry. Just, medically speaking...’ He shakes his head. Drums his fingers against the wheel. ‘How long?’

‘I dunno.’ I do. A decade of knowing and doing nothing about it. Almost a year of thinking very hard about it and doing slightly more.

He knows me better than my doctor; both his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, entirely unconvinced.

‘I’m still me,’ I tell him, because that’s what everyone says in books and movies. I guess it’s what you’re supposed to say. What I want to say is that I’m more me than ever. What I want him to say is thank you, and I’m his favourite person, and that he understands how hard it was for me to share but he’s proud of me. But I would have to ask for that and the bird in my throat won’t budge.

‘Okay. Wow. So… Are you going to move? Change your name? Are you going to get claws? A tail?’

‘Okay, never ask me that again.’ He laughs. ‘And no. I don’t think so. I kind of like that it’s not super obvious. It’s no-ones business but mine.’

‘And mine now.’ I think he’s smiling, a little. ‘Why did you tell me? If you don’t want anyone to know?’

I wish I was still a wolf. If I were a wolf, I would howl and people would understand. The tenor, the tremble, the shivering cadence. There would be no need for picking the right words, no eye contact, no consequences for an ill-timed joke, no shame for feeling everything so big and weird, like there’s a forest in my chest and a songbird choir blocking up my throat. My hands itch as the claws retract under my skin and I fight to keep from scratching, fidgeting. I turn to stare out the window.

To his reflection in the glass, I say, ‘I want you to like me.’

‘Of course I like you—’

‘I’m louder like this,’ I whisper. He looks unconvinced, which is fair. I’m still hiding. ‘Messy. Bigger and stubborn and hairier and angrier. It’s not the wolf. I’m like that too. I wanna be like that. Real. I’m so—I’m so tired. All the time. I don’t want to pretend anymore. I want to be me and I want you to like me as me.’

My back aches as everything in me crunches back into place. The wolf is asleep and it has left me alone with my words and my brother.

‘I really love you,’ he tells me as he pulls up outside my house. He puts his hand warm on mine. He doesn’t flinch at the blood. He hugs me close. Plucks a leaf from my hair.

My brother offers to come with me to tell our parents. It probably would have been smart but I’m still wary. If it goes bad…I don’t want him to see that.

‘How did it happen?’ my mother asks when I’m done, like it’s something you can catch.

For a moment, I entertain the thought of lying.

Do you remember my uni friend? Verne? Well he’s part of a pack and if he brings in three new werewolves over three months, and they each bring in three new werewolves, he gets a bonus. Why? Are you interested in this exciting new life opportunity?

I can’t joke about it yet. Worst outcome, she thinks I’m serious about it being a some kind of cult. Less worse but still bad outcome, she thinks I’m being unserious about the whole thing. Nevermind that I have thought about it every day for ten years, this inevitable confrontation, this moment where I have to explain myself, defend my existence, back up my claims with proof and research like it’s my thesis. I tell her,

‘It just made sense.’

She likes that less than she would have if I’d joked about it, gets all stiff and pinched.

‘It doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand where this is coming from—you’re human. You’re not –‘ She shakes her head. ‘Maybe if you left the house more often. These things you’re imagining about yourself, if you were around more people…you’re not like that. You’re lovely,’ she insists. ‘You’re not that.’

It should hurt to hear. It probably does, in a way I’ll feel five years down the line, and I’ll wish that I had bit back, told her that just because she thinks there’s something wrong with me doesn’t make it true.

My dad hasn’t said anything.

When I look at him, he’s staring down at his plate. He eats everything on it, even the tomatoes he usually tries to hide under the broccoli stems. Then he stands, puts it in the dishwasher, and walks away.

‘It’ll pass,’ my mother tells me. ‘You’ll come to your senses. This won’t last—don’t do anything permanent. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.’

Don’t give in.

Don’t transform.

Don’t smile wide enough to show your teeth.

Don’t tell anyone else.

I realise I’ve been trying my hardest not to do anything, like being nothing would be preferable to being me. When did I get the idea that to starve would be better than anyone seeing me hungry?

‘I don’t want to hide anymore.’

‘But it’s no-one’s business,’ she insists. ‘I don’t understand why anyone needs to know, I mean, I don’t go around telling people I’m human.’

The words sound different coming from her mouth but they’re the same.

It’s no-ones business but mine. That’s what I told my brother and I thought I meant it but now I think I was still scared. Biting off bits of myself before anyone pulled out the silverware and cut it from me.

There’s a bird in my throat and the little bastard is choking me. It’s not fair. I don’t want to die without saying what I mean for once.

I bite down on it, blood between my teeth.

‘It’s not the same thing,’ I snap. There’s a gorgeous growl to my words I’ve never heard before. No one told me that would happen. I love it. I love the sound of my voice. ‘No one tries to kill you because you’re human.’

‘Exactly!’

When I stand up fast, chair scraping against the floor, she freezes. Caught between telling me to pick up the chair first and not knowing how to talk to a monster in her daughter’s skin.

It hadn’t occurred to me that telling the truth wouldn’t change just me.

Staring back at my mother, I find I don’t much like the woman I see. If that’s what awaited me, I’m glad to have changed. The world is huge and beautiful and painful and I am kinder, stronger, hardier for it.

I pick up my bag from the floor.

‘I’m the same person, it’s just now you know I’m a werewolf. When we went out for lunch last week? Werewolf. When I got you groceries when you were sick? Werewolf. Every birthday, holiday, every vacation we’ve had since I was nineteen? Werewolf.’

She looks sick. Puts a hand on the counter to steady herself.

When I get home, I’m going to curl up in my closet for a week. The bird is going to come back any second now with backup. Eagles, this time. ‘I’ve had a really long time to think about this and you haven’t so I’m - I’ll give you time. But you should know that I’m happy and healthy and safe. All the things you said you wanted for me.’

As I leave her house, maybe for the last time, I hope she’ll call. I don’t know if she will.

I have been sleeping better and dreaming more. In my dreams, I am always the same. I have a wolf head, with sharp teeth and keen eyes. I sing with a powerful voice that has unsettled for centuries. I cannot see my pack but I can hear them out there, howling. My body is the same; the only difference are the claw marks across my flat chest, red and raw and careful. I am not dead, only transformed.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 174 }

lover is a day.

jinwoo sung x fem.reader

{ time changed, we're different | but my mind still says redundant things | can i not think? | will you love this part of me? | my lover is a day i can't forget… }

there were many different sides to sung jinwoo that he kept hidden from you, his lover.

things may have seemed perfect and happy for him on the surface, with him putting on a façade that he enjoyed his newly obtained powers and was grateful for the system’s presence in his life.

in the world’s eye, he was a celebrity; a hero meant to be worshipped as he takes on various gates for the sake of protecting others-

yet no one would ever know that deep down, he was still the scared and helpless e-rank hunter who lacked the confidence to truly shoulder such burdens. memories of his beaten and bruised body would resurface at the most inopportune times during one of his many raids, making his movements falter for the slightest moment before he wills himself to bury such self-deprecating thoughts, forcing himself to keep fighting.

never once had jinwoo been given the chance to cry and let out his emotions, yet still, he didn’t wish to burden those he loved with his anxieties.

and of course, you were none the wiser.

being a healer who stood by his side during a handful of missions, he had developed a fascination and fondness with you back when you worked as his healer during some low-level raids. he recalls developing the biggest crush on you, yet never once did he try to act on his feelings for you.

his own lack of confidence made him avoid ever speaking to you, forcing the usual, pre-awakened jinwoo to simply admire you from afar. only with his reawakened self (made stronger and more desirable due to the system) was what pushes jinwoo’s confidence in the right direction as he immediately sought your presence and asked you out.

from your shocked expression, it was clear that you didn’t recognize him (making jinwoo feel grateful for that fact) as you happily accepted his invite to dinner. it took all of the willpower jinwoo had to stop himself from grinning like a fool during the entire date, playing the role of the perfect gentleman that solely sought to woo you with his charms-

and after that first date, the rest was history.

jinwoo uses his feelings of love and adoration for you to hide his own anxieties and push back his true self to the furthest corners of his mind. never once did he want you to realize who he truly was, for he was certain that if you ever knew the truth of his identity-

then you would reject him.

not only was he keeping up his persona as being the world’s strongest for the mere public eye, but for you as well.

regardless of how hard it was to not tell you of his anxieties and how they manifested into panic attacks that would last for hours upon end-

he would not burden the one he loved the most with such meddlesome emotions.

ah… but… jinwoo should have realized that it was far too dangerous to keep his every emotion locked within the depths of his heart.

jinwoo was always too weak to shoulder the burden on his own-

he should have seen his breaking point coming from a mile away.

on this particularly night, jinwoo opens his eyes with a gasp. a sharp pain felt against his chest awakens him with a start, his mind replaying the memory of the double dungeons plaguing his mind. jinwoo swore he could still feel the large claymore piercing through his chest and cutting through his heart like butter. a sob threatens to wrack through his body, but he manages to bite down on his hand, choking back the sound as he watches your peaceful form still in a deep sleep.

jinwoo practically crawls out of bed, making a run for the restroom as he dry heaved into the toilet, tasting the bitterness of the bile settled in his throat. tears fell down his eyes while his whole body trembles in response, the vertigo, nausea, and pounding headache mixing together into an almost deadly cocktail that nearly destroys him.

you’re pathetic.

can you truly be the s-rank hunter that the world looks up to?

nothing about you has changed!

even if you level up, you’re still weakweakweakweak-

“jinwoo.”

like a beam of light, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your kind voice calling out to him. you press a kiss against his broad back and gently help him back up to his feet.

still in a bit of a haze, he watches you flush the toilet before returning to his side, your expression never once filled with disgust or shame for him. he softly calls out your name, but could do little than follow you back into the room.

you gently coax him into getting back into bed, spreading out the covers for him. as if his body was running on autopilot, he gets into bed without a single sound of protest. only when he was laid comfortably back against the plush pillows did you tuck him in.

“i’ll get you an ice cold glass of water, so you just wait for me, okay?”

“okay…” jinwoo whispers back to you, eyes filled with his unspoken words of love and devotion to you. you smile and press one more kiss against his forehead before heading out into the kitchen.

you were gone for a mere second when jinwoo became restless. the hunter’s legs itched with the desire to follow you; to somehow latch on to your comforting presence as he felt his heart began to race in a bit of a panicked manner. before he could even jump out of bed to join you, you returned to him with a tall glass of water.

you help him sit up and place the cold glass against his parted lips, watching as he eagerly drank the refreshing beverage with a loving smile. jinwoo ends up draining the glass within seconds, making you giggle as you place the emptied glass on the nightstand before returning to your side of the bed.

instead of going back to sleep like jinwoo expected you to, you end up scooting your body closer to him, wrapping your arms around his larger frame. with a hum of his name, you place jinwoo’s face directly against your chest all while drawing comforting circles against his back.

“you don’t have to tell me everything if you’re not ready… i just needed to come clean to you so that you won’t suffer in silence anymore.”

“hm…? sarang, what do you mean?”

you remain quiet for a few beats, pressing a kiss against his hair before admitting to him. “i remember you, back when you were still the weakest in the world.”

your confession makes jinwoo stiffen in response, but you immediately calmed him down by pressing yet another lingering kiss against his forehead.

“this doesn’t change my feelings for you… in fact, i felt a bit hurt that you would hide such a thing from me.”

jinwoo felt the tears dot his vision, shakily telling you, “i-i’m sorry, so so sorry…!”

you shake your head and gently place a kiss against his cheek, “no no no, don’t apologize. it’s just… i’m so upset that i never called you out on this sooner. i made you feel like you couldn’t tell me anything; i made you feel like i could only love you only if you maintained a certain personality with conditions you believed i had for you.”

he was taken aback by the sincerity of your words, finally meeting your gaze with an expression of hope. your eyes were shining with unshed tears as you rested your head against his, “i’m sorry. i didn’t wish to come off that way. i was just hoping to get closer to you; close enough so that you could trust me and tell me yourself-“

jinwoo couldn’t stand the thought of you taking the blame for his own insecurities, making him shake his head as he leaned in to press a kiss against your lips. “oh no, my love… you are my heart and soul; you had nothing to do with this. it was my own insecurities and decision that lead me to… to keeping everything bottled up.”

you give him a tearful smile, giving him another kiss before murmuring against his lips, “but it was my fault for waiting for so long… and i never wish for you to face your demons all by yourself ever again.”

jinwoo’s breath hitches in response to your words, and he allows you to carefully lay him back in bed with you. your hands were pressed against his chest in a comforting manner, and you lean in to press a kiss against his beating heart before cuddling closer to him with your arms wrapped around his back.

silence was felt permeating at the air for several seconds before jinwoo finally spoke in hushed tones. “i feel like i haven’t changed at all.”

you keep quiet, simply tightening your arms around him, silently beckoning him to continue.

“even with my newly obtained strength… i know i’m not the strongest… and that terrifies me… you don’t know how afraid i am of losing those that mean the most to me… of losing my mom and little sister- of losing you.”

jinwoo lets out a shaky breath, somehow feeling his heart become the tiniest bit lighter once he let out all his anxious thoughts to you. “but… admitting this fear to you right here and right now, i realize that i am now filled with a newfound determination to become stronger. i… despite how anxious i still feel… just… just feeling your warmth surrounding me makes me feel like i can do anything. that despite how i’m still the same sung jinwoo on the inside-

that doesn’t mean i can’t become stronger to continue to protect those that matter the most to me.”

you give him a loving smile, pressing another kiss against his forehead. “and you can count on me to be with you every step of the way.”

jinwoo was finally able to laugh again, feeling his dark thoughts disappear into thin air, meeting your gaze as he leans up to properly kiss you. knowing that he felt much better now, you ease jinwoo back into bed, giggling when you heard him let out a yawn before hiding his face within your chest.

“goodnight, my beloved jinwoo.”

“goodnight… to you, the absolute love of my life.”

feeling a newfound strength beginning to grow from within him, jinwoo was finally able to fall into a peaceful slumber void of any nightmares and dark memories…

a.n. - the webcomic doesn’t do a good job showing the lingering anxieties jinwoo must still have, and i wanted to explore that side of him and write a comfort fic for him 🥹 he needs someone like the reader to keep him grounded; to keep as a reminder that he is always loved and doesn’t have to shoulder the burden on his own.

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[soapsilly]

Cardio - Roronoa Zoro Imagine

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Spoilers for One Piece (?), also kinda NSFW?

Summary: Ever since she joined the crew flirting with a certain green-haired swordsman has been (Y/N)'s favourite past time - even though she was told to not get her hopes up. Zoro doesn't do romance... or relationships... or situashionships. But what harm could a little harmless flirting do?

Requests are closed

************************************************************************

"So, (Y/N)-san, are you single?", the cook asked her during dinner. (Y/N) enjoyed that the crew ate dinner together every evening. It felt like family. Ever since she joined the Straw Hats the whole crew embraced her with open arms.

"Well, yes I am, but I'm hoping not for long", she answered the blonde but kept her eyes firmly trained on a certain green-haired swordsman that sat at the other end of the table, sending him a playful smile. It was no secret that the girl had cast an eye on the man know as the pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro, who, at the moment, didn't even seem to notice her advances.

"Oooh (Y/N)-swaaaan I humbly volunteer myself as your boyfriend and partner!~", Sanji exclaimed.

The newest member couldn't hold back her giggles, "And I would be honoured, Sanji. Truly! But what would poor Robin and Nami do if you were taken?"

"Oh but of course, how could I forget? (Y/N)-san, you are so thoughtful~ ! But don't worry. I have enough love for all three of you, Ladies~"

(Y/N) giggled at his sing-song voice. She really liked the whole crew - all of them - but there was one person she took an instant liking to.

"Oi, Marimo! It's your turn to do the dishes! Don't you think you can weasel yourself out of it again", Sanji's sing-song was quickly replaced by a harsh holler.

"Oh, I'll help!", (Y/N) exclaimed. She was almost shocked at herself being so excited at the prospect of doing the dishes but spending time with Zoro didn't seem so bad.

"No, no, no. (Y/N)-san, -", Sanji tried to protest but the girl insisted. And so, shortly after, she found herself standing next to the mosshead rinsing the dishes.

"Soooo, what are you plans for the evening?", she asked the man standing next to her.

"Training", he hummed.

"You do that alot"

"Comes with the goal of being the strongest"

"I admire that", she smiles at him. It was quiet in the kitchen. The only things to be heard were the clinking of the plates and the occasional swooshing of the water in the sink, "Can you teach me some?"

The swordsman let out a laugh, "That would take years"

"I mean, just the basics", she shrugged.

"As I said, that would take years"

"You're being difficult on purpose", she grew frustrated, "I'm just trying to get to know you a little, y'know? Spend some time with you..."

The kitchen fell silent for a few moments before she came up with another idea.

"Would you like some company then?"

He looked at her for a few seconds but then decided to send her a nod anyways - maybe because she helped him with the dishes or maybe because he truly didn't care.

"Great! That's far better anyways, I get to sit back and enjoy a nice cold iced tea while watching a hot guy exercise", she nudged him in the side but didn't get a smile back, "You know you're no fun, right?"

Just a little later the two of them found themselves on the deck - Zoro practicing his form and (Y/N) off to the side shouting over some things here and there.

"Wait, so you trained with Mihawk? That Dracule Mihawk? One of the seven warlords of the sea?", she was shocked. She knew Zoro was good - in fact the whole crew was known to be extremely strong especially for how young they were compared to other crews - but this really put into perspective how strong he probably was.

"You talk a lot, you know?", his voice was gruff.

"Oh... Sorry", she didn't mean to annoy him, "I just wanted to get to know you a little..."

When the fighter noticed how quiet she had become he sighed, "Yes, he trained me for two years"

Her eyes lit up at his answer, "How is he like??"

"You're doing it again, woman!!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!!"

************************************************************************

It was early in the evening. The sun was set low on the sky, painting it in an aray of reds and oranges. Like usual Zoro was on deck training his skills like everyday. Most evenings (Y/N) would join him but tonight she wasn't there. The green-haired man didn't give it much thought though and just continued as usual until the girl entered the deck wrapped in a towel, her hair still damp.

"You shouldn't run around like this", he told her once she noticed her scantily dressed form, "Do you want the waiter to get a seizure?"

"Well, good thing we have a great doctor on the ship then", she answered, "But don't worry. This isn't for Sanji anyways"

Zoro raised his brows.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. It's not for you either", she paused for a second, squinting her eyes, "I mean... unless it's working?"

When he stayed quiet, she continued.

"I put my clothes out here. I like it when my clothes are warm and cozy after a shower"

When he looked over her shirt and shorts were indeed hanging over the railing.

"As much as I'd like to ge there someday, I don't think we're there yet sooo... Would you kindly turn around?"

Zoro scrambled to avert his eyes. Is she really getting dressed here on deck? He didn't get to think about it for long as he was smacked at the back of his head with her towel.

"Done", he heard her voice, "C'mon. Let's get some snacks"

She grabbed him by his sleeve and pulled him with her towards the kitchen.

************************************************************************

"So, I'll go shopping, Sanji-kun is going to accompany me to look for supplies. Franky decided to stay on the Sunny for maintenance, so all you others have free time to explore the island for yourselves. Get your allowances before you leave or I will add yours to mine", Nami anounced.

"Great, I'll go with Zoro", (Y/N) immediately looped her arm into the swordman's. Her exclamation was merely a formality at this point as the last times they explored different islands weren't any different. Looking for firewood, hunting, exploring the wildlife to make sure there wasn't any threat around them - (Y/N) teamed up with Zoro. The pirate hunter never objected, much to the girl's delight. Having some free time now, however, was a welcome change for the whole crew though.

Just as they were about to leave Nami stopped the other woman.

"Hey (Y/N), wait I need to talk to you for a sec"

"Sure, what's up, Nami?", (Y/N) beamed at the navigator.

"Oi, if the two of you want to have your chit chat either have it quick or have it later, I'm not waiting for you, (Y/N)!", Zoro shouted at his companion from where he was standing a few feet ahead already.

"Without my help, you wouldn't even find the bar! You have no choice but to wait for me!", she hollered back but then quickly turned to Nami, "But seriously, if he wanders off without me, he's probably lost forever, so we should be quick before I lose sight of him", she giggled.

"Yeah, about that... I wanted to talk to you about Zoro", Nami awkwardly scratched the back of her neck.

"Why what about him?", (Y/N) was still smiling brightly.

"I noticed you flirting with him... like a lot-"

"Oh... Is he-? Are you? Are the two of you- ?", (Y/N) could feel her cheeks heat up. That would explain why Zoro never really went for any of her flirts...

"Are we what? Oh... OH! Oh god no! Zoro and me? God forbid!", Nami looked shocked.

"Thank god", (Y/N) let out a relieved laugh, "but what is the problem then?"

"Well, Zoro doesn't really do romance or relationships. He never goes for it whenever girls try to flirt with him. He probably doesn't even notice it to be perfectly honest", Nami continued, "I don't want you to get your hopes up just to get disappointed in the end"

"Oh that", (Y/N) made a dismissive hand gesture, "I noticed already. It's fine though. I mean, as long as it doesn't bother him it doesn't bother me either. I like spending time with him", she shrugged but then hugged her friend, "thanks for looking out for me though"

Nami was a little confused but hugged her friend back. She didn't understand how she could be happily having a crush on someone with no sign of reciprocation but as long as she was happy Nami was happy.

"Oh shit. Where is that mosshead gone?? Sorry, Nami! I gotta run. Who know's where that idiot wandered off to?", (Y/N) laughed happily whilst already running in the direction she suspected the swordsman to have disappeared into.

************************************************************************

"You're buying", she grumbled.

"What, why?"

"Why? Are you serious? Because of you, we had to make a half-hour detour! My feet hurt... If you had just waited for me, we would've just taken a road straight into town but you had to wander into the forrest"

"I didn't force you to come with me, you know?"

She just huffed. It was quiet for a few moments then she heard a sigh.

"What do you drink?"

"You're the best!", she side-hugged the mosshead.

For the next hour, the two of them sat in the bar drinking and occasionally even joking around.

"Oof, I need some fresh air...", (Y/N) stumbled down from her bar stool.

"You're such a light-weight, it's a shame", Zoro let out a bark like laugh.

"And you're an alcoholic", she stuck out her tongue at him but then made her way out of the stuffy bar. Once outside she leaned against the wall to steady herself. She let a few deep breaths fill her lungs and thought about Nami's words from earlier once again. It really didn't matter if Zoro liked her back... did it? Nah...

She enjoyed spending time with him - be it as friends or as lovers. Eventhough, she much rather preferred one thing over the other. She knew Zoro never flirted back or even gave an indication that he even took notice of her attempts of gaining his affection but she knew that he at least enjoyed spending time with her, which was good enough for the girl. Maybe someday they could be something more than friends though...

It got chilly outside so she decided to enter the bar again. Once inside she saw Zoro sorrounded by a group of girls. (Y/N) furrowed her brows.

"You're the pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro!", one of the girls gushed.

"So?", he huffed.

"We heard that you and your crew challenged the world goventment", another girl continued.

"I'm trying to have a drink here...", Zoro tried to tell them. Unfortunately, those poor girls took this as an invitation to join him.

"Ah yes! A drink would sound lovely! I'd like a -"

"That seat is taken", the mosshead put his hand over the empty bar stool, where (Y/N) had just sat a few minutes prior. (Y/N) felt like her heart skipped a beat. Maybe he did indeed like he at least a little bit.

"Oh really? I don't see anybody", the girl that just tried to take (Y/N)'s seat demanded to know why she couldn't sit next to the swordsman.

(Y/N) took this as her sign to take action.

"Thaaaaank you, love, for keeping my seat safe", she threw her arms around the man, "and who are your friends here?", she asked sweetly. (Y/N) didn't have a problem with the group of women sorrounding Zoro - not at all. She just decided to help him out here.

"I don't know them", he grumbled.

The group awkwardly shuffled away, mumbling something about being fans but needing to get going now.

(Y/N) turned to the pirate hunter with a wide grin on her face.

"For real though, thanks for saving my seat"

"I just want to have my drink in peace. They seemed annoying", he shrugged, "Why is your face all red?", he asked her.

Her face fell, "I'm drunk... idiot"

************************************************************************

It was right after a fight. Most of the Straw Hats were unharmed - a few scatches here and a few bruises there. Nothing Dr. Chopper couldn't fix.

"That's going to be a scar, I'm sure of it", Nami complained about a cut she had suffered on her thigh.

"Don't worry, Nami!", (Y/N) yelled over from where she was sitting on the floor, "I think scars are sexy!"

"Oh really? Then why do I remember you almost having a mental breakdown after needing stitches on your forearm?", the red-head wasn't having it.

"First of all, that was my pretty arm! The other one already had blemishes...", (Y/N) rolled her eyes, "and second of all, I obviously wasn't talking about myself but rather on other people, isn't that right Zoro?" The girl sent the mosshead a shameless wink clearly alluding to the numerous scars that decorated the fighter's body.

Before Zoro had the chance to react, Sanji chimed in, "How come the stupid marimo is now somehow getting praise for sucking at fighting and always getting hit? Some of us are good enough to come out of a fight unharmed, you know?"

"What? WHAT? It's not my fault I'm actually fighting actual opponents! The only thing you are fighting are your eybrows", Zoro immediately shot back. It didn't take long for the two of them to be at each other's throats. Usually it would be Nami to separate them but everybody was too tired, so they just let them have at it.

************************************************************************

(Y/N) had only heard of the massive feasts the Straw Hat pirates had after every fight - Luffy baited her with them to lure her into joining the crew, but this was far bigger then she had anticipated. There was more food than she could ever eat, enough alcohol for the whole island - and some more just for Zoro - and Brook played his most popular tunes.

(Y/N) was pleasantly buzzed already when she decided to join Zoro where he was sitting in the corner of the room. On her way there she grabber herself a cup and a big bottle of rum, once she plopped down next to him she poured herself a cup and then handed him the rest of the bottle, knowing he'd empty any cup she could've given him in an instant anyways. He didn't complain and gladly took it.

"Are you having fun?", she yelled over the music.

"As long as I have a drink I'm always having fun", he answered her and indeed, he did look like he loosened up for a change.

She sent him a smile and raised her glass at him before taking a deep swig. For a while the two of them just sat in comfortable silence. She knew flirting with him was kind of her thing by now but at the moment she just wanted to enjoy spending time with her friend. If things would always stay the way they were right now - things wouldn't be half bad.

"You did good today", Zoro was talking about the battle they had earlier.

"Am I hearing right? I must've bumped my head... A compliment! By the pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro! I feel honored", she feigned shock.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. I meant you did good for your standards", he added with his lopsided grin that always made her heart skip a beat. To conceal an upcoming squeal she took another drink out of her cup. Okay, maybe staying friends wouldn't be as easy as she had hoped for - at least not with the adrenaline from the fight and the alcohol from the party still rushing through her veins.

"Why is your face all red?"

"You're not usually that observant, are you?", she grimaced.

"You'd be surprised", he smiled goofily before taking another big gulp of his drink.

Before (Y/N) had the chance to even think about what the swordsman was saying there, the song changed and so did the expression on the girl's face. A wide smile lit up her features and she excitedly turned to her friend next to her, who had no idea yet what she was about to propose to him.

"I know that song!", she sounded like a little child in a candy shop, "Do you dance?"

"Never", he barked out a laugh but made sure that she knew that he was aboslutely serious.

She pouted for a second but didn't want to waist any time before the song was over.

"Your loss", she shrugged and then skipped over to where Luffy, Usopp and Chopper where already dancing together arm in arm, joining them and singing at the top of her lungs.

************************************************************************

"Okay you know how it is! We need a team for supplies, a team for guard duty, a team for hunting... you know the drill", Nami announced. The Straw Hats had just arrived on a new island neither of them knew personally. Robin had read about it in one of her books but other than that none of them knew what they would find there. Robin already decided that she would explore the ruins that were supposed to be hidden deep in the woods - the island was supposed to be abandoned - but the others had to divide the remaining tasks among themselves.

(Y/N) was just about to announce that she was gonna team up with Zoro when the swordfighter himself interrupted her.

"(Y/N) and I take guard duty", he spoke up.

"No surprise there", Nami commented.

It was true that the two of them, (Y/N) and Zoro, usually teamed up - today would have been no exception. What was different though, was that it was usually always (Y/N) that would just decide for them to be a team - Zoro most of the time had no choice but to simply go along with it. Today - though - today was different and nobody but (Y/N) caught on. She was so busy with her thoughts that she didn't notice the other guys leave until it was suddenly just her and Zoro all alone on that big ship they called their home.

"So, guess it's just you and me, huh?"

"We don't have to talk, you know?", Zoro stated matter of factly, already preparing himself for a nice long nap.

"I know a few things we could do instead of talking, you know?", she repeated his statement, "In fact, it's gonna be a good few hours before any of them come back... a lot of things one could do in that time... instead of talking I mean", she pursed her lips as if she was really thinking about different possibilities instead of clearly alluding to one thing, before sending the fighter a grin.

"You keep flirting with me" - it was more of a statement than a question. There was no emotion in Zoro's voice that would have given the girl any indication as to how he felt about the fact. She felt her heart drop. And the others would only return in a couple of hours... this was gonna be uncomfortable.

"You - you noticed?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Nami said something along those lines a while back..."

"Nami always thinks she knows everything" - there was still no reaction on his face.

"Does it bother you? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable", (Y/N) could feel her face heat up. She felt bad and embarrassed at the same time.

"Bother me?", he let out a dry laugh - finally a sign of emotion, but now (Y/N) still didn't know what to make of it - "There's worse things in life than a pretty girl flirting with you"

(Y/N) let out a sigh of relieve. She would've been mortified if she made her friend uncomfortable in any way. The compliment didn't even register until a few moments later.

"Oh is that so?", a devious smile lit up her face but as fast as it appeared it disappeared again when she realized something, "Wait but why did you never flirt back? I mean, not even with me... but also with all those girls that always try to get with you... like those girls in the bar a few months back"

"Do I look like the ero-cook or what?", he truly looked insulted but (Y/N) didn't settle for that cheap of an answer. When she stayed quiet he continued, "Girls like these are always annoying. Idolizing you and wanting you to share your drinks with them. I mean not that you're not also annoying but looks like I'm not getting rid of you anytime soon", he shrugged.

When the girl heard that she squinted her eyes, "You know, I'll choose to take that as a compliment". A wide smile lit up her face as she made her way over to the mosshead, "You liiiike meeee", she teased him as she almost was chest to chest with the taller man.

"I liked the you from two minutes ago... You know? When you were too shocked to even form a sentence"

"And I liked the you that just called me pretty", she tried to look serious as she looked up at him, their faces only a few inches apart, before her face split into a grin again as she got on her tippy toes and pecked the swordfighter on his lips.

When she tried to pull back Zoro however had already cupped her face with both of his hands, going in for another kiss. (Y/N) hands almost automatically found their way into the pirate hunter's green hair and for a while the two of them just stood there as if the world stood still until Zoro parted from her lips.

"You know, I think you were right", his voice was low, barely more than a growl, "we do have the ship to ourselves for at least another two or so hours..."

"I'm a fucking genius", she mumbled agains his lips breathing heavily already.

"Jump", he commanded.

She knew exactly what he wanted from her, so without parting from his lips she did as she was told. He caught her with ease as she wrapped her legs around his waist, carrying her into the sleeping quarters of the Sunny. Once inside he laid her onto her matress, only breaking the kiss to basically tear the clothes off of her body.

"Fuck", he took the time to admire the woman in front of him. The cold air from suddenly being exposed had led to goosebumps forming on her body.

"Zoro" - when he heard her impatient whining it was his time to tease her now, taking his time with undressing himself before finally crawling on top of her again. Every touch felt electric, his skin felt hot against hers as she arched her back into him. Anything to get closer to him.

"Is that what you've been thinking about all this time, huh?", his voice was hoarse as he leaned down nibbling on her earlobe. Instead of an answer he earned himself a breathless moan, which in turn seemed to have it's effect on him.

"Zoro, please...", she whined. The swordfighter enjoyed seeing her like this. For months now he had grown to like the overly confident young woman - eventhough her big mouth could become exhausting after a while - but now there was no more sassy banter anymore. Right now all that counted was how good her body felt against his and how perfectly his name sounded when she moaned it.

He leaned down for another kiss, which she eagerly returned. His hands found their way into her hair tuggin at the strands, making the girl underneath him gasp from the sudden sensation. He isn't know to be a patient man but he thought to himself that he was gonna take his sweet time with this - partly to tease her, partly because he wanted to savour every moment of it - but (Y/N) had other plans. As they parted she looked up at him, lips swollen from the make out session and she looked to damn perfect. And then he felt her hand wandering down his torso and between his legs. To hell with taking it slow - they could always squeeze in a round two, he thought, as he pinned the girl's hand over her head and started kissing down between the valley of her breasts.

************************************************************************

"Well, that was a failure", Nami complained to Sanji as they walked up the gangway to the Sunny. This island was puny. There way nothing interesting there. Not only were there indeed no people left, but there was also no sign of human life at all. No abandoned shops. No ghost town. Nothing. And even the trees in the forrest barely held enough fruit to top up their food supplies for the next part of the journey, so that they definitely would have to make a stop at yet another island before going on to their actual destiny.

"At least Robin-chwan had luck with her ruins", the cook babbled along, delighted at the thought of at least one of the women having had a good time. Most of the crew had found their way back to the Sunny again - all of them with similar news - except for Nico Robin, who indeed had found what she was looking for.

"Hey guys we're... back? Where are they?", the navigator was just about to announce their early arrival when she noticed that neither (Y/N) nor Zoro were anywhere to be found on the deck.

"They're not in the crow's nest either", Sanji confirmed, "What if something terrible happend to (Y/N)-san? I know it was a mistake leaving her here with that second class sword-clown"

"Calm down, Sanji", Chopper assured him, "Zoro probably wandered off again and (Y/N) now has to make sure he isn't lost or something. The island is abandoned. Nobody attacked them"

"That's just as bad, that stupid marimo", Sanji swore under his breath.

Nami was just about to answer the cook when a loud crash followed by a "fuck" interrupted her train of thought.

************************************************************************

Zoro and (Y/N) just laid there at the moment, the sheets lazily draped over their exposed bodies. Zoro was just about to propose a round two when they heard the voices of Nami and that ero-cook outside of the cabin coming continuously closer.

"What are they doing back already?", (Y/N) looked panicked, scrambling out of bed trying to gather her clothing but only so far finding her bra, "Where the fuck are my clothes?"

Zoro couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her running around like a headless chicken. He was in no rush to get dressed - he much rather enjoyed the show that unfolded before his eyes.

"Stop laughing, Zoro, and help me", she whined. He noticed that her whining wasn't as annoying anymore... endearing rather.

"And what do you want me to do?", he laughed but actually got out of bed and gathered his clothes along with some of hers.

"Here", he handed her her panties, which she gladly took and tried to hastily put on. In the rush, however, she wobbled on one leg and then stumbled backwards into a dresser.

"Fuck"

"Good job... I'm sure they won't be coming straight in here now", Zoro sarcastically commented. How did he already get his pants and shoes on???

Unfortunately though, Zoro was right. The once muffled voices of their crew mates were coming closer and closer. As much as he enjoyed seeing her struggle, time was running out now and the swordsman was not about to let (Y/N) be exposed like that, so he held out his green robe for her.

For a moment she hesitated.

"Are you sure?"

"It's wide. Easier to slip into than those tight clothes of yours", he shrugged - that was one reason, sure, another reason was, that he really wanted to see the waiters face when he saw (Y/N) in his clothes.

"That's nice", she smiled at him, "smells like you"

When he saw her in his clothes, there was a feeling in his chest he couldn't quite place. It was too big for her, the sleeves hanging over her hand and one side of the collar falling off of her shoulder exposing the naked skin underneath. He grabbed her jaw with one of his hands, making her cheeks puff out adorably and pressed a firm kiss on her lips.

"We should do this more often"

(Y/N) was just about to answer when the door to the sleeping rooms flew open. The girl tried to step away from Zoro as soon as she noticed that they weren't alone anymore but apparently not soon enough.

"Here you are! You know guard duty means guard duty and not nap time...", Nami's voice trailed off once she processed the image that presented itself infront of her.

Once she did, she began shrieking, "What do you two think you're doing???"

(Y/N) slipped out of the room squeezing past the red-head, closely followed by Zoro but to her horror outside most of the crew already stood and waited aswell.

"We - we were...", (Y/N) was usually quick-witted but right now her mind drew a blank.

"Doing cardio", Zoro chimed in from behind her, still shirtless and seemingly not bothered by the situation at all.

"Yep", (Y/N) went along with it, "Cardio"

Robin, who of course caught on to the situation, snickered behind her hand but refused to enlighten Dr. Chopper as to why that was funny, not wanting to tarnish the gullible reindeer's innocence.

Sanji however found nothing humorous in the situation - almost in shock he turned to (Y/N), "(Y/N)-san! I'm sorry I left you alone on this ship with this pervert! I promise I'll make it up to you"

"What did you just call me, ero-cook?"

"You heard me! If you just as much as put a single finger on (Y/N)-san I'll make you regret it"

"Sorry, to disappoint you, but I did a little more than that", Zoro laughed.

That was enough for the cook to lunge for the swordsman, "You are not good enough for her! You dirty bastard!"

Nami massaged the bridge of her nose. First, the island turned out to be a total failure and now this.

"Look what you've done. No more guard duty for the both of you", she deadpanned.

"Sick! I hate guard duty", (Y/N) grinned.

"I meant together", the navigator pressed out between her teeth.

"Oh! Yeah. I can't promise that", the other woman nodded thoughtfully and then turned to leave but then remembered one last thing.

"Oi, Nami!", the red-head looked up to where the voice was coming from. From behind her, (Y/N) could see Usopp furiously signaling for her to shut up - and (Y/N) knew she really should listen to him - but there was this little voice in the back of her head telling her to poke the bear, so she continued, "by the way... you were wrong!"

The last thing (Y/N) saw, before a furious Nami was chasing after her was a facepalming Usopp but she didn't have the time to justify her decision because the navigator was hot on her heels, with a raised hand. A punishment she usually only reserved for Luffy and sometimes Zoro whenever they were being stupid but (Y/N) guessed that the stress from today paired with the reminder of her error about the advice she gave (Y/N) about Zoro, was too much for the red-head.

"Sanjiiiiii, help! Nami's gone crazy and is trying to kill meeeee", she screamed at the top of her lungs as she was fully sprinting away in order to not get hit.

"I'm coming, (Y/N)-saaaaaan~", the cook sing-songed.

And as Nami was chasing after (Y/N) and Sanji was chasing after the two of them, she couldn't help but think about how she wouldn't wanna be anywhere else at the moment than on this ship with those idiots. Especially a certain green-haired swordsman that she had liked for a while and - as she now just found out - wasn't as clueless as she thought.