#let's clean house

[daredevil-vagabond]

...Forest walls and starry ceilings... - Harpy Hare, Yaelokre

[greenlaut]

pov: ur sarge is more unhinged than u thought (he’s a demolitions expert)

[gurggggleburgle]

As a former horse girl I love the Binghorses drawn by @meltedmush because every weird and cryptid suggestion and art of them just existing makes me stop and go: no wait horses will just do that. Horses are so weird. Horse behavior is so much

Horses will just stare at you through a window and if they're smart they can figure out certain doors. There is a specific kind of surreal of watching a horse walk into your house that is both very cute and cursed. SQQ could totally wake up to a Binghorse having broken into his house and staring at him

Horses also are weird and poorly designed biologically so if they sit for too long they can actually crush their organs and won't be able to stand up again. So I can see SQQ fretting over a bingfoal and asking if they're okay. Also they don't have the ability to sense being full. It is completely possible for a horse to eat too much and die. So again fretting mother hen SQQ planning special Binghorse diet only for Binghorse to come back and drop a dead bird in front of him.

It is completely plausible that SQQ can look up one day and see a binghorse sitting in a tree. Both cows and horses will climb trees. Goats too. I don't know why. They just will. The horse loose in a hospital bit is funny because horses on their own will just do that. They do just end up in places. It feels absurd but it's true. Getting jumped scared by a Binghorse totally believable.

Imagine that SQQ sees a Binghorse with a broken leg! The death knell of any normal horse. He can frett over those beautiful terribly designed legs as Binghorse is kept suspended in a swing thing.

And then the moment you combine omnivore snatch hunter it gets even funnier because I'm certain a real horse would if it could. The fact that people are in any way convinced horses are just cute and sweet and not weird terrifying little horrors of biology will never not be funny.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[espato]

*𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗗𝗢𝗡𝗚*

— Mmm? A package? I don't remember buying anything... E-eh!?

— So the detective prince is actually a closet nerd? Mmm...

[125storejuice]

I cleaned the HECK out of a house today

[cassandracain52]

Do you think Damian ever forgets he isn't adopted?

Because I've read some things about the other Batkids forgetting they are adopted. But I think in a family like this, the reverse may be equally true xD

Do I think Damian ever forgets he's not adopted? Realistically: No. He spent his first year at the manor making sure every conversation he had somehow ended in him mentioning he was "the blood son". It would take a severe amount of head trauma or smth to make that boy forget that

But in my heart?: Yes I think he does because that would be so funny and the concept positively delights me😭

-----

Just one scenario this made me think of:

[Tim scoffing while looking at his phone]: Pfft Look at this article the Gazette did on us [turns his phone towards Damian to show an article reading "Bruce Wayne's Adopted Children make a appearance at most recent Gala"] [Tim continuing with a laugh]: Can you believe that? I mean who's proof reading these things, right?

[Damian frowning while he reads the headline in slight confusion]: All they did was list our names? We were at that gala? What's wrong with it?

Tim: Well they listed your name too

Damian: And?

[Tim, waiting for Damian to stop messing with him]: ....

[Damian, genuinely confused]: ...?

[Tim poorly smothering an evil older brother smile as he realizes exactly what just happened & is about to lock it in his memories forever to be brought up constantly]: Damian...

[Damian, still not catching on & getting annoyed]: Yes??

Tim: You're not adopted

Damian:...

Tim: ...

Damian: Timothy-

[Tim immediately starting to sprint away]: I already texted everyone

[Damian cursing as he gives chase]: TIMOTHY I SWEAR-

----

Or just:

[Constantine doing a spell to break a curse a villain put on Bruce or smth]: Alright, all I need now is some blood from his next of kin. [glances at watching army of bat children] uh biological next of kin

[Everyone instantly turning to stare at Damian]

[Damian, who's been up for the last 42 hours with everyone trying to break this curse & has reached a new level of exhausted]: ...What?

[Dick, explaining hesitantly]: He needs someone with Bruce's blood..?

Damian: Ok? So give it to him?

[Dick now fully confused]: I'm adopted? I can't?

[Damian in full Dead Tired IncomprehensionTM]: So what do you want me to do about it then???

Dick: Damian. Bruce is your dad.

Damian: [blinks, no thoughts, head empty]

Jason interrupting because he is too tired to enjoy this right now & wants to wrap this up: You're the only one here with his actual blood, genius

Damian: ...

Damian: Oh right

Tim saves the cave recording to every possible file and hard drive he can get his hands on. Barbara helps him to ensure it can't be deleted. The entire family continues to bring it up for weeks that "the blood son" forgot about his blood. Damian never lives it down.

[gaywarcriminals]

Being a service sub could fix YQY

[hotasfahrenheit]

this is the face of a man very very quickly unraveling on the inside, just absolutely coming apart and realising how absolutely untethered he is and has been for the past 12 years

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)

[ratwiththetats]

Regulus being the biggest most pretentious magic nerd, even down to cleaning/domestic spells. He's using super complicated magic to wash the dishes: it only cleans marginally better than the typical spells, it is definitely not worth the effort (he absolutely thinks it is) and he's using blood magic to get their floors extra shiny. James coming home to Blondie playing and blood running down Regulus' palm holding a knife in his other hand 'Love, why do you have your ceremonial dagger out again?' and Regulus exasperated 'We’re having guest James’

[americankimchi]

this entire conversation with morrigan is just my rook going

just witnessed all of solas's "regrets" and truly after every single one i'm like. damn am i supposed to feel sorry for this clown bc LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it's called consequences baby!!!!!! no wonder his name is the elven word for pride HJKDGHFJGH

[beaft]

genuinely curious how does anybody get employed. is it this hard for everyone or am i just uniquely bad at it. everyone talks about "climbing the ladder" meanwhile i am here on the ground staring up at the bottom rung of the ladder that is hanging approximately 20 feet above my head

[dykedvonte]

An independent Courier would actually hate being in charge or enforcing standards in New Vegas. At least in my mind.

They made Vegas independent but I feel like that playthrough/style so clearly makes it apparent it isn't for them. They are making Vegas a place where people can live freely, like how House genuinely didn't care what people did but without the behind-the-scenes Big Brother surveillance he did. Having every family, faction, and other influence group or person comes to them about alliances or rules would be draining, and boring, one note.

In an independent Vegas, The Courier is also Independent. They like getting rid of lines and borders that impede freedom, they like to help give people the tool but I don't believe they want to be the one to shape it.

[zephyrchama]

<- Return to Original Masterlist

Multi-part Series

Vampire MC (Lucifer) (Mammon) (Leviathan) (part 4 in progress)

Birthday (part 2 in progress)

From Human to Sheep (my first post! a second part was highly requested and is in progress)

<- Return to Original Masterlist

[veerbles]

every single thing said about kaz is just like, patently false to the point of irony. dirtyhands about a man whose hands are literally spotless because they're never uncovered. without morals or conscience, would do anything for money when it is repeatedly implied he's passed over business opportunities if they involved slavery or indentures. doesn't say goodbye, just lets go about a man who has made it a point to never let anything go. doesn't need a reason when he is proven to never act without a reason, and in all actuality usually has at least two. and this is without mentioning bastard of the barrel about probably one of the only barrel kids to have at least started out with a "normal", happy nuclear family...

and it just makes me think: kaz is deliberately written not to be better than people say he is, but just bad in different ways. he is not good or virtuous or compassionate; the point of having people say things that are not true about him isn't to make a point of his completely different nature.

so the point of it can only be to emphasize how nobody really knows him. to draw attention to his absolute isolation. and maybe to give more credit to how much his 'armour', which is supposed to protect him by keeping everyone away, really only serves to keep him away from everyone else.