#my mom and i went on a whole journey to remember this horses name

[gurggggleburgle]

As a former horse girl I love the Binghorses drawn by @meltedmush because every weird and cryptid suggestion and art of them just existing makes me stop and go: no wait horses will just do that. Horses are so weird. Horse behavior is so much

Horses will just stare at you through a window and if they're smart they can figure out certain doors. There is a specific kind of surreal of watching a horse walk into your house that is both very cute and cursed. SQQ could totally wake up to a Binghorse having broken into his house and staring at him

Horses also are weird and poorly designed biologically so if they sit for too long they can actually crush their organs and won't be able to stand up again. So I can see SQQ fretting over a bingfoal and asking if they're okay. Also they don't have the ability to sense being full. It is completely possible for a horse to eat too much and die. So again fretting mother hen SQQ planning special Binghorse diet only for Binghorse to come back and drop a dead bird in front of him.

It is completely plausible that SQQ can look up one day and see a binghorse sitting in a tree. Both cows and horses will climb trees. Goats too. I don't know why. They just will. The horse loose in a hospital bit is funny because horses on their own will just do that. They do just end up in places. It feels absurd but it's true. Getting jumped scared by a Binghorse totally believable.

Imagine that SQQ sees a Binghorse with a broken leg! The death knell of any normal horse. He can frett over those beautiful terribly designed legs as Binghorse is kept suspended in a swing thing.

And then the moment you combine omnivore snatch hunter it gets even funnier because I'm certain a real horse would if it could. The fact that people are in any way convinced horses are just cute and sweet and not weird terrifying little horrors of biology will never not be funny.

[arcane-sync]

❤️ + 🖤?

Thank you so much for asking! I'm sorry I took so long to respond.

❤️ - When did you realize you were a system?

So I learned about DID about...2015 when my sibling was diagnosed with it. I researched it a whole lot to help them, but found it resonating with me a lot. It caused me to suddenly remember that when I was younger, I had "arguments" with myself. Each viewpoint of myself had a different name, and I had something like a journal on my computer where I left notes for myself and debated with myself. I would also spend the walk to school debating which version of myself I needed to be that day, and how easily I could recall the day was dependent on which me went. When I was little, it just made sense to me. I never questioned it.

While that wasn't enough to convince me I had the disorder, I decided that if my sibling's trauma was bad enough to cause DID, then maybe I should study trauma. At that point, I had been seeking counseling for about 5 years with little success. Focusing on trauma made a big difference. I didn't even know until then I was traumatized as a child. It was just... part of growing up.

It was about 2017 that I started seriously considering if I had the disorder and sought a proper trauma counselor. It took me about a year to find one, and in that time, I started realizing how much of my life I didn't remember. I also started finding notes in my journals written with radically different handwriting.

I found one in 2018, and he agreed I might have it. But he didn't want to put the cart before the horse, and we focused on me first. I didn't have a window of diagnosibility until 2019, where he confirmed the diagnosis.

so it was... a bit of a journey.

🖤 - How many alters do you have? Can you tell me about them?

I have over 20, according to other parts. I really only personally know... about 9? The more I wrote below, the more I had to keep increasing that number. I know more than I thought I did.

This is the first time I've really named my parts on this blog, so please be kind.

There's me. I prefer to go by Skye, and I am primarily the one who's around. I identify with the body's age of about 30, but I don't identify with how I look. As far as I know, no one here does.

In terms of people your are likely to see here or on my sideblog, there is Rachel, Leon, and VV.

Rachel is outgoing, bubbly, and witty. Definitely an ANP. She handles a lot of social situations. Identifies roughly with the body's age. She was one of the ones who went to school for me when I was little.

VV is an EP primarily. Contains a lot of anger, a bit of a masochist, but has a deep love for dark stories. Holds most of my teenager traumatic memories.

Leon is an ANP that went by Logan until very recently. He went by Logan to make his presence more comfortable for me. I recently split a new alter that I thought was a fictional introject, and while I did in fact split a new one, that suspicion was planted by Leon to test how well I would handle learning about his true name. He is intensely logical and calm. Handles high analytical situations. Also surprisingly snarky.

Elizabeth is a persecutor of sorts. She protects us by planting seeds of doubt concerning other people and hopeful situations. Her rationale is if I expect bad things to happen, then I won't be surprised when they do. She is slick and manipulative, occasionally sabotaging situations or relationships.

Chime is a young part, somewhere around 5-7, who... I think was an ANP when I was little. She very much acts like a typical little girl would, and I think she was that way to make mom happy.

Whisper was the new part who either split or I recently became aware of. I get the feeling she's younger and holds some childhood trauma or childlike feelings. She is my first part, as far as I know, who doesn't really present human. She's kind of a misty figure.

Before me was Cassandra, who I don't really know or remember. She was around a lot during undergrad.

There's Toni. She's younger, but I don't really have an age. She is very hard on herself but frequently daydreams about being more confident.

Again, thank you for asking. I really appreciate it.

[sara78]

Thank you, Supernatural

I don't think a simple thank you can cover everything these boys have done for me, for many of us out there.

For lots of people, supernatural is just a show.

But for me and for lots of other people it means many more.

Let's be honest, this year sucked.

2020 for me started empty. I would wake up every morning with emptiness in me, because one person I really looked up to and loved with all my heart, my grandpa, suddenly died in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything but watch. Even though everybody thought I bounced back from that really fast and adapted to it, it was just my very well built mask. I didn't want them to know. That maybe wasn't the right thing to do, since I for sure wasn't the only one mourning, but I just got used to throwing out masks and smiles whenever it was a bad day because they usually wouldn't understand why am I upset and would tell me to stop being a crybaby.

The fact that I lost my grandpa who was my father figure, who raised me up and was the only one who ever supported me and had my back, tore me apart. I was aware I will never go and spend summer breaks in village with him, I will never be able to watch "Only fools and horses" with him on TV.

It just couldn't settle.

And then, the Corona virus happened.

Let me be honest, school and certain people in it helped me with mourning. A lot. Being able to focus on schoolwork, studying, projects, it took my mind of for a brief time. But then, we were all of a sudden closed in our houses because of this whole situation and I didn't thought it was going to be this painful for me.

I was always thinking "Meh, I rarely went out anyways, I got used to being home" but the fact that I was back in the apartment where my grandpa died, and the fact that I woke up every morning and went to the living room to see an empty bed and a turned off TV, instead of him sitting there, reading the newspaper while waiting for a certain TV show on the TV... It didn't feel like home.

I closed in my room. Most of the days I would spend by trying to figure out everything about school, who's using what platform etc. Soon enough, my mother, a nurse in city hospital, told me that she will be transfered to work on a Covid part of it.

I didn't really think it would change anything, but hell, was I wrong.

Every day, she would come pissed from work. She would scream at me, yell at me, blame me for whatever happened in her shift, blamed me for everything that wasn't in my power.

Listening to constant hate from her never had such an impact on me. She would usually do that but grandpa would always be there and talk to me. My mom would usually go to my grandma to see her and talk to her about her troubles at work, but she couldn't risk going to her place, so she decided to obviously, yell and scream at me, thinking I don't bother because I never showed it.

She would just randomly slam the door of my room open and start telling me I'm a terrible daughter, that I don't want to do anything, that I'm useless, that people will never love me, that I'm stupid etc. Those words now started to settle down in me and started piling up. Day by day, the pile became bigger and bigger and I was in a darker place than ever before.

I didn't talk to anyone about it. I didn't want to bother and others had problems too, much bigger then this one.

I was really desperate. I needed a way to get out.

One of those days, I called one of my good friends, and asked him to tell me something that he likes to watch, or to play. I needed a run from reality and I decided to find it in a video game or a TV show.

That's where supernatural came.

April 5th, 2020.

Just when I thought this year would never get better, it did.

I tested the waters with the pilot - he told me that I would like the show since I was a fan of The X Files and Scooby-doo. He was right. It took me one episode, and Dean's famous "Dad's on a hunting trip. And he hasn't been home in a few days" to get me hooked.

Every day, I would turn on the show and would run away from reality. Every time it all became too much, I would watch them. Soon enough it felt like home. Those boys going around the country, hunting, having each other's backs, it really was unique and interesting to see how well they worked together.

As the show progressed and the boys went more mature, I started feeling better. I wouldn't have dark thoughts, I wouldn't feel empty anymore. Even though I could never talk with them in person, their presence helped me deal with my grandpa's death and my mother's sick obsession of blaming me for everything.

Sam and Dean taught me to stand up for myself. That's what I did. I stood up for myself and told my mother to stop being such a fuss and blame me for whatever happened to her on work because I'm no God (Chuck now 😂) and I'm not controlling anything. She was at first pissed when I talked back to her yelling but soon she stopped as well. I don't know where did she take out all of that anger and I honestly don't care. As long as it wasn't me, I didn't care.

Sam and Dean taught me that nobody really dies. Well, those boys never seemed to stick to that title. But the ones who did, as for example their dad, mom, later on Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Ash, Crowley, Rowena, Jack, Kevin,... You shouldn't think about how you lost them, about how you will never get to see them again. You should remember and cherish the moments you got to spend with them, and to be grateful that you were able to spend time with them. I started watching at grandpa's death from another point of view. Instead of missing him, I remembered him. Whenever I felt that feeling of empty, I would take our photo album and watch our photos together. I would read my old diary entries in which I wrote about how he took me to a fair and bought me a gigantic burger. Instead of tears, I would smile and be happy for being able to spend the time of my life with him and was grateful for making me who I am.

Sam and Dean taught me that family don't end with blood. But it doesn't start there either. I started taking better care of my friends, tried to talk to them more, ask them more often how they felt. I knew how bad I wanted someone to ask me that when I was in a bad place and I knew someone would appreciate that. But as well, I opened up more to some of them. It really felt nice, knowing that they don't care that you're broken and that they are more than ready to help you deal with whatever you need to.

I binge watched the whole show in about 4 months. I watched the boys grow up, and so did I. I learned so much from them, I loved them for who they are, I cried and laughed with them, I was scared and happy with them, I would stay up late at night just thinking about Dean and Sam and whatever they were dealing at the moment or rant to my friend who never even watched the show about how much I love Castiel for being who he is.

Also, I fell in love with the actors. Jensen, Jared, Misha, later on Mark Sheppard, Alex Calvert,... I laughed for hours when watching their panels, comic-cons and other interviews they did. I learned about the always keep fighting campaign, and much much more.

I was happy to be in this fandom.

And so, I want to thank them for giving us the opportunity to watch Sam and Dean's adventures. I want to thank Jensen, Jared and Misha for sticking with the show for years, for giving us a ticket for the most wild and exciting ride that will always be a great, bright memory in our lives.

You guys left a legacy behind, a big legacy. As long as there's us out there, you will never be forgotten. The show will never be forgotten as long as there's people to remember it and talk about it, write fanfictions about it, re-watch it, laugh about it.

The show might be ending, but what it's left behind, that never ends. This family the show has built, there is no other like this one. There's no other Fandom like ours. This fandom is much more than just a fandom. This fandom is also a place where everyone is welcome, there is no judgments, no hate. This fandom is a family. A legacy. Not much shows can say that they've left a legacy behind. Right?

As much as I am sad the show's ending, I'm happy it happened. I'm happy I got to see 15 seasons of it, knowing many shows don't make it past 10. I'm happy I got to see Team Free Will kicking names and taking asses.

So, don't cry because it's over. Smile, because it happened. Part of a journey is the end, but then, nothing really ends.

Carry on... ❤️

[makemadej]

So today two of my worlds collided in the best way: Ryan and Shane were guests on one of my favorite podcasts. I was totally blindsided by this since there was no promo for it whatsoever (who knows why, maybe they forgot when the release date was, maybe they’ve been taken captive by skeletons, maybe they’re just terrible at promoting themselves), and it killed me that I couldn't listen to the whole thing until after work. It's over two hours long and podcasts aren't everyone's cup of tea, so I'm capturing the ghoul boy highlights here for anyone who wants them.

Wine and Crime is a weekly podcast hosted by three ladies who are feminist as fuck and pair a different crime with a different wine each episode. This time, the theme was Pandora's Box crimes, aka "crimes that were only supposed to be minimal but ended up being a shitshow." Inevitably, they paired it with boxed wine.

Enter the ghoul boys.

Ryan, on Franzia: I do enjoy slappin' a bag Shane: I've seen Ryan slap some bags in my day. [...] Ryan: Shane has to tell me to stop slapping the bag sometimes Ryan: I used to do this thing in college called Tour de Franzia. It was like a drinking game, but it was an obstacle course, and at every checkpoint you had to slap the bag. [beat] I made great decisions in college.

Ryan: You say "nice stream" to the sound of liquid being poured into something, it maybe is not the best...it may not communicate well over audio. Shane: Hey, nice stream Ryan: Nice stream. That's what I say every time I go up to a urinal. To any guy. Tap him on the shoulder. Shane: Men in public bathrooms, we all compliment each other's streams. Ryan: Yeah. It's best if you whisper it. At close proximity. I get really close so he can smell the Popeye's on my breath that I just got at the terminal and I whisper "nice stream."

Ryan: We're drinking the 14% Four Lokos seltzer over here [borderline unintelligible banter about playing Edward Four Lokos hands]

Ryan, on the description of himself on a "which BFU guy are you" quiz: That sounds like the description of a golden retriever.

Shane: I know there's one quiz that was popular where the description [of me] was entirely wrong.

Ryan, increasingly high pitched: A fan sent you all these goat parts?

[What is your favorite wine varietal?] Ryan: Hmmmmmm... [Do you know what a varietal is?] Shane, with gusto: No!

Ryan: Wine to me is just wine at this point. I'm not that far on my wine journey. I was a beer guy that's transitioning over into wine. Shane: Well, it sounds like you're not doing a very good job. Ryan: You know what, I said I am LEARNING, Shane. So why don't you get off your high horse and tell them what kind of wine you like? Shane: I don't even know! Ryan: Mr. "I don't know what a wine varietal is" Shane: Yeah. But I don't call myself a wine guy Ryan: I never said I was a wine guy! I said I was-- Shane: You were like, "Oh, have you see that Netflix documentary, Sommelier?" Ryan: First off, I didn't say it like Elmo from Sesame Street, but I also said I was transitioning!

Shane: I like some red wines and some white wines Ryan, imitating him: I like the stuff with the alcohol in it...and sometimes it has bubbles and makes my tummy feel good and uhhhh, yeah Shane: Yeah, I don't really know... Ryan: Sick answer Shane: There's a kind my girlfriend always gets that's really good but I don't...I can't remember the name of it Ryan: That's a long name. That's actually a good name for a wine! The Kind My Girlfriend Gets, ever had it? They sell it at Trader Joe's. Shane: I'm not even trying to do like a...*weird cowboy voice* "I'm a man, so I don't drink wine. Only my girlfriend does." I like wine, I've just...I've never been good at wine. And wine makes me real sleepy, so I almost never have it. Ryan: That's why I don't drink red wine...and it also makes me look like I've been chewing on mud clots or something.

[What is one "unsolved" case that you're pretty sure you've solved?] Ryan: What was that one where I was like, I think I've pretty much solved this one? The Black Dahlia I'm pretty sure was George Hodel. I'm almost positive of it. Shane: Wasn't there like a missing child one that we thought we had sorta gotten? Bobby Dunbar Ryan: Bobby Dunbar. I think we had solved that one. Uh... Shane: We can never concretely say that we've solved it. Ryan: No, we can't legally, but I'm pretty sure D.B. Cooper's bones are an ornament in some pine tree out there in the Pacific Northwest [...] Shane: The case is pretty closed on Amelia Earhart, too. Ryan: I don't think so. Shane: Yeah, she got eaten by crabs. Ryan: I think it's closed in your mind. That's what you'd like to have happened. Shane: That's what happened. Ryan: Giant, man-eating crabs. It's amazing that those exist. I saw one dragging a coconut. Not hard to imagine that coconut being a head. Shane: Yeah. Of an aviatrix. Ryan: Of an aviatrix, yeah. The most famous aviatrix of all time!

Ryan: Fun fact, shaking my bones is what I call dancing.

Shane: I'll say that Ryan is 100% that bitch. Ryan: I'd say 0% actually. Shane: See, that's what makes you that bitch. Ryan, cracking up: What about you, Shane? Shane: Mm. 45.

Ryan: I don't know if people would like me walking into a room trumpeting "I'm 100% that bitch!" every time I walk in a room. I think there's nuance to it. You can't always be 100% that bitch. [...] Or if I'm trying to make an omelet and I can't make the flip...not 100% that bitch in that moment. I'll tell you, it's the bane of my existence Shane: You can't make an omelet? Ryan: It's impossible! Shane: It's not. Ryan: It's really hard! I don't think I have the proper pan. Shane: It sounds like you don't. Do you have a good spatula? Ryan: Maybe, I dunno... Shane: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAYBE? DO YOU HAVE A GOOD SPATULA OR NOT? It’s a yes or no question! Ryan: I think it might be, I don't know! I have no idea where it came from, I got it from my mom. Maybe she bought it from Sur la Table? Shane: I was gonna say, go to *French accent* Sur la Table, get a little free espresso... [degenerates into arguing about French pronunciation]

Shane on working at Abercrombie: I was in the stock room, they didn't let me up front. Not my beat. [...] Me and my friends...would just hang out in the back and listen to music and eat cookie dough. And they'd be like "we need you to fold this box of girly shirts" and we'd be like "ah, okay!" and then we'd just take the box and be like "this is too many shirts." And we'd just throw it...this was the area like a loft area where you couldn't see anything. We'd just throw the boxes so we wouldn't have to fold the shirts. They're probably still there. Ryan: Sounds like you were a great employee.

Shane: I started as Buzzfeed as an intern. Ryan had started a month or two before me. So we came up in the same intern class together.

Ryan: I did grip and electric work for two years, which is basically like lifting heavy gear essentially on set and I realized I didn't want to do that for ten years before I even had the chance to sniff a camera.

Ryan: I filmed powerpoints for doctors...I did feel like a prisoner at times when I was there, listening to a doctor from USC's Keck medical school talk about irritable bowel syndrome for two straight hours...I was a couple days away from joining the union...That was concurrent with the irritable bowel syndrome filmings.

Ryan: I chose the internship at Buzzfeed not knowing what it was, met the Shaniac over here, and then, um...we went through that program, which was kind of like the Hunger Games. We saw all of our fellow interns die. [...] We worked our way up, I eventually made Unsolved.I made unsolved actually with a different host, Brent Bennett. He left the show because he didn't like...I believe the quote was "I don't like these stories anymore." Shane: *dies laughing* Ryan: And I turned to my right and was like, "hey Shane, wanna do this instead?" and he was like "sure" and that's that. And from then on I guess we never looked back.

[Shane, how do you feel about being the second choice?] Shane: I'm fine with it. Really, there was so little fanfare to him asking me. Ryan: No ceremony at all. Shane: 'Cause we were just making stuff left and right at that point and series were not really an established thing at Buzzfeed [...] Even when Ryan had asked me "hey, would you like to be in this?" uh...I was like "yeah, lemme..." Ryan says I checked my calendar. Ryan: Yeah, Shane looked over at his google calendar, saw that next week was open, and was like "yeah, looks like I've got some time" and I was like "sweet, lock it in" and he was like "cool." And then we both put our headphones back on 'cause we sat next to each other at a desk and worked on other things and that was that.

[What is some of the silliest feedback you've gotten about your show?] Ryan: Luckily the fan base is pretty nice. There's plenty of fun, positive comments out there, however, this is one that tickled me the most. A guy somehow found my personal email address and emailed me to let me know. He's like "hey man, love the videos, excellent content to get stoned to. Keep it up, cheers!" I don't know who this man was.

Shane: I do have some hope that Bigfoot is real. A little unlikely. The other one I always root for is Champ in Lake Champlain. Ryan: I don't know why you have such an obsession with Champ. [...] Shane: Champ...there seems to be something fishy going on there. There's something going on in that lake. Ryan: Good pun Shane: Not even. There's something going on there and I've seen that lake and I've looked out at that lake and I've felt something inside me just looking out at it. Ryan: You sure it wasn't just IBS? Shane: We've established that you're the one with IBS Ryan: I'm not the one with IBS! Shane: You joined the union! Ryan: You were the one who almost pooed your pants on an investigation Shane: That's a different story! Ryan: You ate two hot dogs that were served at the baggage claim in Philadelphia Shane: We. Were. Hungry.

Ryan on Dyatlov Pass: I'm gonna double down here. I think it was a yeti. Or, not a yeti. I think it was an abdominal snowman. Shane: Abominable. 

[borderline unintelligible banter about an incredibly ripped yeti doing crunches]

Shane: I'm very content with the mysteries of the universe never being uncovered. It's fine. Ryan: It's frustrating. Shane: You're gonna go to the grave not knowing so many things, so you might as well just give up on them. Ryan: Such a nihilistic way to look at everything.

Shane: If you know anyone who's traveling and they're your enemy, you just call the FBI and say "oh, they're up to no good up there." Ryan: If Shane was flying somewhere I could just say "yeah, I think he's dangerous. I know him. He's the guy who couldn't fit a hat on his big head."

[interlude where they decide to name an anonymous suspect Shane Ryanson]

Shane: It would be funny if this was like the highest escalation of a prank war between two friends Ryan: That'd be a hilarious prank, getting someone thrown into federal prison. Super funny. Gotcha!

Shane: If you're the kind of person who is likely to call in a threat to the FBI solely as a way to get a dig in at your friend, that probably stays with you for life. That's pretty hard-coded into who you are. Ryan: That's true. Especially when you look like an out of work Batman villain [...] If this dude walked into a 7-11, I would drop my Slurpee immediately and run to my car. He's a scary man. I'm out. Slurpee's on the floor.

Shane: I'll tell you this in defense of dolphins, they do have funny little smiles.

Shane, on breaking into Sea World: That seems like an extremely Australian thing to do.

Shane, googling fairy penguins: Yes, it's a wonderful little penguin! He's so small! Ryan: This is great, this is like a dark gritty reboot of Mr. Popper's Penguins.

Shane: Just...to meet someone, get along so well that you each drink a half a liter of vodka together and then go swimming with dolphins and blast some sharks with a fire extinguisher Ryan: ...and then decide, let's top off the night by bringing home a fuzzy little friend Shane: I mean, by that point you've got a winning streak going. You're like, "yeah, we didn't get eaten by sharks! we did swim with the dolphins! Of course we'll steal a penguin!”

Ryan: I bet the penguin actually helped the hangover, to be fair. If I was hungover, I normally just see my blinds shuttered in my room, my shoes are somewhere in the house, but if I found a penguin I'd be like "okay, maybe this isn't so bad." Shane: A rehabilitation penguin. He just hopes on your bed in the morning. Ryan: Just starts smacking me in the face with his little fins. It's great, I love it.

Shane: I think she shouldn't have killed her husband. Have a little faith in his worm farm.

[lovecanbesostrange]

There was no reason for Station 19 to go that hard on all fronts, but wow they did. I honestly watched S1+2 mostly out of habit, but S3 was like cleaning house, setting everybody up as a character with their personal flashback gave them far more layers and now I truly care. Thanks. Well, and then Grey’s happened and I cried for like half the episode...........

Maya and Jack have definitely profitted the most from the shift in tone and the character development overhaul. And I liked both their storylines. Maya dealing with all that crap from her father and coming to terms with why she maybe isn’t 100% ready for this very steady relationship and sharing all her emotions was great. Can she tell Carina everything she told Andy? In almost exactly this way, please? Because being afraid of slipping and finding these moments and naming what she has trouble with adjusting to - that is all good. And Carina is one of the most compassionate and patient people (from the limited scenes we have had with her over the years). Dear Maya, if you communicate, she will be there for you.

And wow, Carina than talking about her home and her own fears. Magnificent. Early days of covid? All the horrible, horrible news from Italy come to mind. So thanks writers for building that international bridge. (I wonder how any Italian tv shows that will incorporate the pandemic will deal with this. Every country has their very unique story in this.)

Of course we will see nice side characters getting covid and probably die. Gonna keep my fingers crossed for Marsha nonetheless. Jack having this make-shift family did wonders for his character and I don’t want him to take a blow. It’s a found family on the side, not bound by trade and I like it. I love that thanks to Marcus the masks with plastic windows were mentioned (even tying back to Dr. Riley’s visit to Grey-Sloan. Good job.

Well, Miller and Sullivan. That all happened. And I am exactly 0% qualified to discuss the issues raised. I do empathise with Sullivan a bit more (not that I dismiss Miller’s points, because like Sullivan and Warren say, he is right). Because I absolutely hate this thing were being part of a (minority) group makes you the spokesperson and you get judged far more harshly. And then also taking in-group crap about it. Yes, it is how the world is. But it’s unfair. (And tbh luckily Sullivan hurt mostly himself and he did stand up and face any consequence coming his way. And yes, he was the kind of person to always tell everybody else to better not make mistakes *blablabla* and look, he fell down that high horse... I do think that is something Miller pointed out very rightfully.)

Glad Travis talked to his dad. And I do like the way he did. Just letting him know he knows and leaving that door open. His breakdown about how the church/religion is letting gay people down, while so many sins are just forgiven... damn. Hard to watch. And if just one viewer watching suddenly went like “huh, fucked up”, it was worth it.

Vic is the unsung hero of this episode. I loved how she kept defending that drugged up dude. Yes, he is stupid and it’s horrifying that he stays with his obviously abusive wife, but also keeps drugs around and just... lives like this. But she kept talking about how he didn’t mean to hurt anybody else and that he needed help far more than punishment. Travis and Vic are both good people, but in that situation I think most of us would react more like Travis. Being annoyed, mouthing back and wanting those two shut the fuck up. It’s a normal reaction. What Vic said is the harder choice. And it felt like there was an untold story there.

Okay, wow, much to say about Station 19 for once. But oh boy, Grey’s...........

I remember the “early” episodes we met Bailey’s father. And then we barely talked about her parents. They were somewhere in the background. Until in “(Don’t) Fear the Reaper” we met her mom, got that whole thing with her dead sister and got this picture of her early home life. It was really good. And last week her parents get mentioned again, because hey, elderly people. AND NOW THEY TELL US HER MOM HAD ALZHEIMER’S AND THEN SHE DIED............................................................... it was so fucking heartbreaking start to finish.

And I love all the quiet scenes we got out of this that are just so human. Sad and human. Bailey talking to Meredith, saying she misses her and relating to the whole seeing your mom withering away (so dying twice in a way). I like the use of the beach, because Meredith is semi-conscious, she hears it all, but she just can’t wake up long enough. And then Maggie and Bailey on that bench.

Two people sitting on a bench, talking. Nothing special happens. They don’t need to distract by having them in a busy hallway or somethng. It’s a whole ass conversation with no shorthand. Showing all the emotions. Having Maggie go back to that time her mother died and how she views it all in a different light now. Talking about dying with dignity. Chandra Wilson was so good in this scene. (Her best performance to me will probably always be when Charles died in front of those elevators, I can cry just thinking about that.) And she was allowed such a variety of feelings. And the pain of it all brings up joyful memories. Thanks so much for that hilarity that her scholarship came from the fucking Daughters of the Revolution. HA!

I don’t get people who still watch Grey’s and the relationship drama is the thing they care most about. This is what I’m here for first - the personal lives and relating to all these emotions (and also the mistakes and the way to do better next time).

Well, at least Tom got better quick, I guess. Nice way to give Amelia a reason to get to work for a day and thus have her confronting Teddy. Look, I am done with storylines involving cheating and all. Teddy as a character is often hard to like. But the way she is isolated and like the most contact she has is with DeLuca when he updates her on Meredith’s vitals... it’s harsh. And I liked that Amelia can talk to her without making her feel more terrible. And then I did like Teddy talking to Tom, who was his charming self in the end. Bonuspoints for mentioning that the kids are with Owen’s mom. And hey, I give this to Owen, I believe this must be hard for him, because being a dad is the biggest deal for him. Actually something to make him more likeable - if handled correctly - and this situation sucks for him as well.

Which brings me to Link. Who was left at the Grey home. With Zola, Bailey, Ellis and Scout. Wow. Who would have thought? Amelia’s pregnancy was a good thing, I guess, to give them the excuse of baby time and also Link sorta moving in to deal with all the kids. (Shipping all of them off to their own living Grandma isn’t an option. lol ) Link is a good dude. So please, okay, it was news to him, no need to hate on Tom, push through the irritation, Link! Ahahahahaha.

Jackson being so nervous about his mom being a bit too proud to always keep her mask on - wonderful. Sure, she’s a doctor, she’s also stubborn and he was so scared of losing her not that long ago. Family drama everywhere! I always like seeing Jackson and Webber together. And then they had another big talk, hammering home the fact that people are affected differently. That it’s worse for poor people and not by accident, but systemic problems, most of them are PoCs. So many black and brown patients dying left and right, and it’s clear where the problem starts... I do believe for some viewers this is actually news, because the “news media” they consume won’t talk about that.

So, well, and then there is the Jo of it all. OMG where do I even start? Now, first off, Levi and Jo living together is still hilarious and thanks so much for getting two scenes at the loft. Especially that first one with Levi pretty much pushing her out of bed. Now, I do want Levi to talk to his mom, I desperately need to know how things are. I’m sure the pandemic has shed some new light on what’s important. Second I’m also glad Levi is with Jo, so she is not alone, which makes it harder for her to fall into really bad habits and down that depression hole.

I kinda freaked out seeing Val again and was sure she’s gonna die (might still happen aaaaah). They have a tendency to kill the nice ladies. Still haven’t forgiven Grey’s for killing CeCe. So it was cool that the surgery was a success and wow, did I love when Jo sent Levi out to just listen to Val and connect. And then the baby delivery happened and....... what is going on? Jo even just casually thinking about switching specialties? TO OB?????????? WHAT?????? Dear writers, you dropped the ball on her entire medical journey so often, giving her a bonkers fellowship, having her residency take way too long and shoving her into general, because oops no mentor or anything. And now you give me this? Please, so this is how I would accept this as a set-up for an actual carthartic moment:

Let Jo stalk Carina, play out this thought “what if this thing that made me happy for a day is the thing I am supposed to do longer”. And then let her have joyous moments, but also something complicated, and finally a very distressed woman in labor. And Jo feels for the woman, is compassionate and all and when the baby is there, the woman struggles to connect. And this joyous second is withheld from Jo. And boom, full circle, this woman feels like shit for not loving that baby instantly, for the feeling of resentment and being out of her mind. And finally Jo can forvige Vicki. And that’s the end of that particular journey.

I mean we all pretend that we have forgotten that time Jo stole a baby, right? Because that was the S16 hiatus and there was a storyline set in motion that blew up with Justin leaving like that. And we have had Jo interacting with babies and new moms so often over the course of the show. While also staiting that Jo’s self-worth is tied to being in an OR, which is also her safe space. So this whole thing...

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Addison was the attending OB/GYN once upon a time. (”I’m being stalked by pregnant women!” “You are an obstetrician.”) She was also a fetal surgeon, which was what Arizona eventually became. So it’s not like when Meredith wore pink scrubs for a few weeks and got made fun of. There could be a long interesting road that eventually does include  surgeries. But it’s just so....... dumb. In a way. Especially with Jo having so many issues. And the writers - who give out pregnancies and babies like halloween candy - constantly skipping a potential Jolex-as-parents-storyline.... which kinda bites them in the ass now. ugh F R U S T R A T I O N......... I could write a five page essay just about Jo so far this season, I’m sorry. (Also if I ever have to see Jo in pink scrubs, a part of my brain will explode thinking back to Jason for sure.............)

Oh, and then there was Ben Warren. Just existing. Being a good man. Thanks. :3

[itsthwippingtime]

so on Thanksgiving i saw Frozen 2 and it was AMAZING and I've only just now had the time and energy to finish my thoughts on the movie and share it with y'all so here it is. Disclaimer: Sorry for how long it is

!!!!! MAJOR FROZEN 2 SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!!!!!!

first, baby anna and elsa???? I’m dead

thjkhsdhjk the story they came up with is literally how every child played with barbie dolls and doll houses

(children are so dramatic also why did we all have the same childhood)

oooh mystery about the past 

their dad is so dramatic now i know where Anna and Elsa get it from

four spirits: Earth Wind Air Water how original

(everything changed when the fire nation attacked)

(okay but while their dad was telling the story about the northedral (???) i was totaling believing this is where Elsa got her powers from)

THEIR DAD WAS SAVED BY THE VOICE

(but Elsa was born with powers so her mom is totally magical)

where the nORTH WIND MEEEEETS THE SEEEAAAAA

i love their mom omg i love this song also

(okay but at this point i was like??? did their mom save their dad)

ELSA IN PURPLE I LOVE HER

Elsa being startled and sticking herself to the railing with ice is comedic gold

ANNA’S HAIR I LOVE IT

why is Olaf’s never-ending existential crisis the most relatable thing in this movie 

also i love this song about things never changing

hi the line about a stone wall never falling??? FORESHADOWING

KRISTOFF LOVES HER I LOVE HIM HE IS SO PURE

HE HAS A RING

Elsa singing about being afraid of change but seizing the day?? CHARACTER GROWTH 

Arendelle flag will always fly??? FORESHADOWING

family game night??? i fucking love it

Olaf shouldn’t be allowed to play charades that way Anna is right

but Olaf imitating Elsa??? iconic

Elsa playing charades is me playing charades

THE VOICE

TELL ANNA ELSA

oooh Kristof honey don’t,, don’t do it like that,,, honey

if Elsa is comforted by their mom’s scarf where was their mom’s scarf in the first movie??

Anna singing Elsa to sleep????? so pure

THE VOICE (AGAIN!)

INTO THE UNKNOOOOOWWWWWWWN

i love this song

‘Everyone I’ve ever loved is here within these walls’ so she loves Kristof???? good me too

where does Kristof sleep?

THE SPIRITS!!! HER ICE IS SHOWING HER THE SPIRITS RIGHT????

oh its the part with the ice suspended in air from the trailer

EARTH AIR FIRE AND WATER 

so um the fire went out and its windy and they’re going to the cliffs???? okay???

ummm Elsa did you awake the spirits on purpose??? did you know what you were doing?? you never said it was an accident????

Elsa you cant go alone you’re team has to go with you or else its not much of a movie now is it Elsa. don’t be selfish share some screen time

i just love their outfits so much i want to be a princess in Norway please and thanks

Olaf and his fun facts are literally me

ELSA’S ICE CASTLE THERE SHE IS i wonder if they ever go there. is it a vacation home

water has memory FORESHADOWING

‘Elsa and Olaf are asleep,,, whatcha wanna do?’ UM WHAT

’Sven, keep us steady’ UMMMMM WHAT

THIS IS A PG MOVIE I WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE NEXT TO MY TEN YEAR OLD COUSIN THANKS DISNEY

oh Kristof honey

oh no Anna he didnt mean it like that

Kristof stop just stop

ooooh the voice is back

‘Kristof stop’ ‘Good idea’ I’m dead

i don’t really remember what happens in between them stopping and them finding the mist if anything but THE MIST

oooh they’re locked in. nice

okay so wind. thats fun.

the wind spirit is v smart because she knows which one is Elsa 

her name is Gale and i love her

hello water has memory

their father being saved by a young girl??? it’s their mom

okay so the northuldra (i googled it) begin to attack? or advance at least

ARENDELLE GUARDS

okay but lieutenant whats his name can get it

they’re frenemies

Olaf’s recap of the first Frozen is comedic gold i want him and Luis from Ant-Man to get together

i don’t really remember what happens at this part but: Elsa and Anna learn that their mom saved their dad (CALLED IT), their mom is northuldra (KINDA CALLED IT) and everyones been trapped in the mist since their grandfather was killed

(which that story is fishy but i don’t think king Elsa & Anna’s dad would lie so????)

OH WAIT FIRE SPIRIT HAPPENED BEFORE ELSA AND ANNA LEARNED ABOUT THEIR MOM

AND OLAF’S SONG OMG

samantha?

(that part was so simple yet so funny omfg)

olaf: “this will all make sense when i am older” all the adults in the room: :/

also notice how Elsa is mindful enough to keep the fire spirit away from the northuldra’s homes??? like i love her???

I LOVE HIM i think his name is Brunie but i don’t know how the people at the Disney Store came to that conclusion 

oh also Kristof and Sven run in to save the reindeer but Anna is only worried about Elsa??? idk maybe she knows Kristof can take care of himself and knows that Kristof knows when it becomes too dangerous but Elsa is going to try to stop the threat until she physically can’t and at that point it may be too late okay i get it

(okay but if they’ve been trapped and nothing can get in or out what do they eat??? like theres a lot more northuldra than arendelle guards so do they have designated areas they’re allowed to go in?? what do they do with the people who died?? probably bury them)

(also some if them are born in there and they’ve been in for decades so a generation maybe the beginning of the next one but how many of them are related????)

Kristof has a new friend and I’m so glad they’re not fighting over Anna

(take that toxic masculinity)

HES GONNA HELP HIM PROPOSE I LOVE IT

Reindeers are better than people (cont’d.)

the following are my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods

that guitar riff (?) at the very beginning? sexy

“you had to go and of course its always fine”

because Kristof loves Anna and knows that Anna loves him and they can do different things and still be in love and he doesn’t have to constantly be over her and controlling what she does

(take that toxic masculinity part TWO)

OKAY BUT Kristof saying its fine while simultaneously worrying that he’s losing Anna is absolutely breaking my heart

NORTH IS SOUTH RIGHT IS LEFT WHEN YOU’RE GONE

Kristof: “and i don’t know what path you are on” me: :((((

I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS A QUESTION OF WHETHER

WHO AM I???? IF IM NOT YOUR GUUUYYY?????

WHERE AM I???? IF WE’RE NOT TOGETHEEEERRRRRRR??????? FOREEEEVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRR

NOW I KNOW YOU’RE MY TRUE NORTH CAUSE I AM LOST IN THE WOODS

UP IS DOWN DAY IS NIGHT WHEN YOU’RE NOT THERE

YOU’RE MY ONLY LANDMARK SO IM LOST IN THE WOODS

WONDERING IF YOU STILL CARE

BUT ILL WAIT FOR A SIGN

(FOR A SIGN) 

(peep the Queen reference)

THAT I’M YOUR PATH CAUSE YOU ARE MIN

UNTIL THEN IM LOST IN THE WOODS

this concludes my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods

every time i type Lost In The Woods I wanna type Lost Into The Woods

okay SO

Olaf doing the siren call with Elsa is comedic gold

THEIR PARENTS SHIP OH MY GOD

peep Olaf with that gruesome “maybe there was nobody on board” when they asked how the ship was able to get through the mist

peep Olaf with the “why didn’t they just make the whole ship waterproof” 

THEY WERE GOING TO FIND WHERE THE NORTH WIND MEETS THE SEA THE RIVER FILLED WITH MEMORIES

THEY WERE GOING FOR ELSA

WATER HAS MEMORY BITCH

ELSA BBY ITS NOT YOUR FAULT

LISTEN TO ANNA YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CHOICES

so they go to the river

(low-key thought that was their goal the whole time but its fine)

ELSA!!! ANNA AND OLAF HAVE TO GO WITH YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

if Disney doesn’t make the ice-canoe part of the Frozen Ride in Epcot in some way shape or form i will be deeply disappointed

uh oh rock giants

oh waterfall

cave

thats fun

ah Olaf always the optimist

(but where did Anna get flint?)

Anna’s hair??? i love it

oooh Elsa on the beach

she can’t get her shoes or coat wet i understand

PONYTAIL?????

GO BITCH

YAAASSS QUEEN USE THOSE ICE POWERS

oh shit that water horse is trying to drown her

what the fuck he’s actually trying to drown her

AH SHIT ITS ELSA’S WATER HORSE NOW

YAAASSSS BITCH

sdahjhdskjhdsjk

ITS A GLACIER BECAUSE WHY FUCKING NOT

every inch of me is trembling

SHOOWW YOURSELLLF

ELSA HAS A DUET WIHT HER MOMN

IM FINE

ELSASN IS TBHE FIFHT SPRIT

THE BRIDGE

ELSA’S NEW OUTFIT AND HER HAIR I WANT

WATER HAS MEMORY

Elsa destroyed Han’s memory I’m dead

OH SHIT KING RICHARD (Elsa & Anna’s grandfather, i don’t remember his name)

KING RICHARD IS AFRAID YAASSS QUEEN TELL HIM ELSA

WAIT ELSA

GO TO FAR AND YOULL BE DROWNED 

ELSA WAIT

oh shit she jumped

OH SHIT SHES COLD BUT THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED HER ANYWAY

OH SHIT KING RICHARD KILLING THAT GUY FOR NO REASON

OH SHIT ELSA’S FROZEN

BUT SHE SHOT OUT ONE LAST ICE THINGY

we now return to this episode of Olaf and Anna Alone In A Dimly Lit Area With A Little Bit Of Fire

YAASSS ANNA GOT THE MESSAGE

BREAK THE DAMN

but Arendelle

OLAF

why isn’t that when Olaf and Anna are alone one of them is always dying

now i understand the no context memes featuring spider-man from Infinity War

okay so you’re telling me that Anna learned that her sister is frozen (pun intended) and Olaf dies in her arm and she still finds the energy to save Arendelle/the forest???

GO ANNA YOU GO GIRL ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT

DISNEY CAN’T KILL ELSA AND OLAF THEY’D LOOSE TOO MUCH MONEY 

oh shit the rock giants

KRISTOF TO THE RESCUE

AND SVEN OF COURSE

WHAT DO YOU NEED I LOVE HIM

THEY BROKE THE DAMN

OH NO ANNA DONT FALL

ANNA GET OUT OF THERE

LIEUTENANT WHATS HIS NAME AND KRISTOF SAVE ANNA TOGETHERDSKJAD

ELSA AND THE WATER HROSE THEY SAVE ARENDELLE SYDJHASDJKFHSDA

the Arendelle citizens literally are so hilarious to me all they know is: the spirits are mad and all the heirs to their thrones went on a dangerous journey to save their kingdom, with no guards to protect them, then a tidal wave comes rushing towards their homes and suddenly their Queen who has always been quiet, modest, and reserved comes riding in on a fucking water horse in a boss ass outfit with her hair down and saves the kingdom. like???? imagine being on that cliff??? and all they do is clap???? I’m so dead

poor Anna :((( but Kristof is doing his best to comfort him like i love him

ELSA GO TO HER ANNA GO 

THEY’RE CRYING CAUSE THEYRE SO HAPPY KJDASDHSJKHFJKSAD

ARENDELLE IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY

OLAF IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY

KRISTOF PROPOSED IN THE DORKIEST WAY BUT ANNA’S REACTION WAS THE CUTEST I LOVE IT

(WATER HAS MEMORY)

ELSA STAYS AND ANNA IS QUEEN

CUT TO ANNA’S CORONATION AND THE NEW STATUE AND THE ENCHANTED FOREST IS ICE NOW AND ELSA HAS A WATER/ICE HORSE AND GALE HELPS ANNA AND ELSA COMMUNICATE AND THE ROCK GIANTS ARE NICE AND BRUNIE IS STILL THE CUTEST AND ANNA AND ELSA STILL HAVE FAMILY GAME NIGHT

(okay but did anyone else find it odd that Elsa didn’t go to Anna’s coronation)

(also the Northudral are just totally fine with living in ice and snow and cold now too??? idk i guess Elsa asked first but whatever its not like they can say much she’s the fifth spirit so)

Olaf wearing clothes has me dead

Anna: tells Kristof she likes him “better in leather” me: when does he wear… leather :O (Anna’s freaky yo)

final thoughts: Amazing movie, the constant shade of Hans was absolute gold, Kristof is so pure, Anna and Elsa’s relationship is so amazing, everyone’s character growth is absolutely amazing

if you read all of this, bless you child I’m so sorry it was so long

[lo-55]

Revel Ch. 9

Departing Debacle                   

 The last day was too short and too long at once.

 Tori was not yet ready to leave her childhood home, her jungle gardens and the deep lagoons. The mountain peaks, just barely dusted with snow. Her bay of stars. She wasn’t ready to go back to the surreal. Talking trees, massive pieces of pastries, and people who were barely now her own.

 She didn’t have much of a choice, though.

 Tori strode through the long hallways of her home, sunlight falling through the windows to warm her skin as she went. She was tailed by her whole entourage.  All six of them followed behind her. Madelle lead them, a few steps behind her on the right. Behind her was Aelia and Varinia. On the left side was Daria, Flora, and Lapa. They matched in their light, floating pink dresses. They made for a good high light of Tori’s own blue dresses. Layers and layers of thin robbins egg blue, so pale her own eyes looked nearly as black as her hair in comparison.

 They floated through the palace until they arrived at her fathers solar. A tablinum, some called it. Her sisters soldiers, all dressed in their fatigues, stood at attention on one side of the door. Her brothers valet’s stood on the other. Three for each of them.

 Tori’s handmaidens stood across the hall, lining like a curtain pulled across the arches of the peristyle. Her father’s valet’s, only two now, opened the doors to let her inside. Gemma and Lucien were already seated at a table near the clear running fountain opposite the room of her fathers desk.

 Her father himself sat behind it, hands steeped and brow furrowed deep in thought. He watched his children as Tori joined them, smoothing her skirts before she sat beside the fine marble piece. When they had been children they had had a kitten who would sneak in at all times and drink from the fountain.

 Sir Pounce, who’s offspring now harried the kitchen staff and spent their days lazing in the sun, as their father once had.

 “I’ve come to say goodbye,” Tori told them. “Yet I fell there’s something more going on here that I’m not aware of. Father?”

 Gemma and Lucien had the faces of children who had been summoned. Indeed, Gemma was still a teenager, and Lucien only a bit older than she. Tori tilted her head, sending a sing curl falling across her cheek. The rest of pinned tightly out of the way of her face, and her dress, while fine, was fit for travel.

 “I was about to tell you brother and your sister. You might as well hear it too.  Gold Roger is dead.”

 Tori didn’t outwardly react. That was old new. It had happened before her wedding, before the ‘proposal’ from Big Mom. She still had one of the Roger Pirate jolly rogers stowed in her hopechest somewhere.

 “And?” Gemma asked impatiently.

 “And,” her father went on, shooting his youngest an unpleasant frown, “that means that the world is unstable. We stand as royalty in the New World, on our ancient island, but as the world has become more tumultuous through the rise of pirates and the struggles of the navy we find ourselves in a precarious placement. We need allies.”

 “We have allies,” Tori objected. She could already see where this was going. Lucien and Gemma sat oblivious, but the understanding dawned to her at once. They were royalty. Royalty that needed allies outside of their own people, and the best way to get those was to do as they had already done once, with her.

 “I will not have us relying solely on the Big Mom pirates. She is tempermental and unstable, as liable to turn on us as to provide us aid unless direct offense is offered to her. No. We need more than that.”

 “Lucien!” his voice raised and sharpened and her brother, her only brother, sat ramrod straight. He stood on bones of duty, weighed heavy with the crown of a prince and a legislature. He was just, he was noble.

 “There is an island that was our friend in the past. A part of the World Government. It will be your duty to secure them as our friends once more. Their king has a daughter your age.”

 “No,” Lucien shook his head as reality dawned upon him. “Father, please-”

 “Marry the girl. Princess Scarlett will bring us into the graces once more. Her country is known for peace. You won’t have many problems with ruling it in her name.”

 “I’m needed here,” Lucien argued. “The people need me!”

 “The people will find another advocate,” he said shortly. “Their lives outweigh their liberties. Remember this, if you are ever to be a king.”

 “I’m not supposed to be a king! Victoria is the eldest, she is to be Queen, and I a prince.”

 “Things have changed. Your duties have changed with them,” their father’s voice brokered no arguments. “Pack. You leave at the end of the month.”

 His gaze turned to Gemma, who up until then had looked little more than insuferably satisfied with her siblings misfortune. When she met their fathers gaze her shoulders drew together and her chin lifted.

 “      No    ,” she said viciously. “No, you can’t mean me too!”  

 “It’s necessary. You’ll do as your told, Gemma.”

 “I’m not a bitch to be sold to a stud!” she stood so fast her chair clattered to the ground. The light of the sun seemed, to Tori, to dim in the room. It cast long, dark shadows across their fathers face. No longer was he Father. He was the king, now, and family meant nothing more to him than strings to pull and tie.

 “You’re my daughter!” His voice rose, snapping like a whip that had Gemma wild eyed and tense. Tori half expected her to draw her sword.

 “You are a princess of Imperia. You will do what is best for the country.”

 “If you send me away our military with crumble! You’ll weaken us! You’re not making us stronger, you’re dividing us and making it easier to pick us off! Victoria wouldn’t be missed but Lucien and I have jobs to do.”

 Tori swallowed hard. The barb struck hard in her lungs, liks rose thorns needling into her ribs. Her fingers curled slowly into fists.

 “Your arrogance will get you killed in a real war. Before Lucien leaves, you will. Your husband waits for you in the East Blue. It’s peaceful there. Goa.”  

 Words bubbled on her tongue but bitterness killed them before she could speak.

     She’s only a child!    She wanted to say.      You can’t make her marry! That was what I was. I was to secure our future, and they were to    live      .  

 Instead she stayed silent, watching Gemma’s face turn a blotchy red and her chest heave with fast, rapid breathes. Tori could see the whites of her eyes, like a spooked horse.

 Tori stood slowly, all grace and sweet smiles and politeness. She dipped a curtsey to their father befitting the crown princess.

 “Until next time then. I’ll leave you to play your game, Father.”

 “It’s more than a game. And you had best learn to play it yourself, Victoria, before the weight of the crown breaks your neck.”

 On those cheerful words Tori made her exit, head high and fists hidden in the long folds of her gown. Lucien trailed after her, shocked, with Gemma fuming at the rear. Tori caught sight of her husband and good-sister down the hallway, waiting for her. Daria had joined them at some point and was talking softly.

 A hard hand closed around Tori’s wrist and wrenched her back wards, shoving her hard against the marble wall. Tori stared, lips parted with question, at Gemma who tried to loom at her. She was so furious there were tears now prickling her eyes red, but her lips were fixed in a snarl. A horrible silence descended across them. She could see Madelle take a step towards her.

 “Why did you say anything?!” she demanded harshly. “You could have changed his mind! I’m not going to the fucking East. He can’t make me!”

 Tori plucked her arm from Gemma in a smooth move that nearly brought the stressed younger princess tipping forwards.

 “Just where was your army when I was fit to be wed?” Tori asked, coldness settling through her. It wrapped ice around her heart, staying her hand from trying to offer her sister comfort. Tori would not be missed, and so she would not miss Gemma. “When time for tea party came, how many banners did you call?”

 She left her there, gaping like a fish, and marched to her husband with a the air of a woman who tread on top-frost.

 The trip down from Imperia’s capital was much easier than the journey up, a swift glide that took them tipping into the bay. When they arrived, however, they found that during their absence the great ship they had taken from Komugi to Imperia and her sisters had sprung a leak.

 When questioned, no one would say who’s fault it was or what it was that caused the damage, but Tori suspected it had something to do with the missing cabin boy and the fact that they were now a cask of wine and three canon balls lighter than they had been when they’d ventured in.

 Katakuri said nothing, but the slight furrowing of his brows had everyone on deck scrambling to try and repair it even quicker than before. Tori smothered a small, pitying smile at their expense. They were all so eager to please her husband. It was rather adorable.

 “They won’t finish before nightfall,” Lapa told her. She glanced as well to Katakuri, “Shall we have ourself returned to Veleia?”

 Tori thought of her sister, still a ball of fury, and tasted bitterness like a rotten peach on her tongue. She knew her anger wouldn’t hold over the night, but she still had no desire to go back yet. She couln’t imagine looking on her sisters face and not feeling the thorns in her lungs.

 Yet, it was not her who spoke.

 “No.”

 They both looked up at her husband. He made eye contact with neither of them, his attention on his crew.

 “We can stay here for now.”

 Tori nodded her agreement slowly. That was fine with her.

 “Perhaps we should stay in Panarea for the night?” Tori suggested. “It should be empty still. We won’t need much room.”

 Karakuri dipped his head once. They set off, to the mansion that overlooked the sea. It clung to the edge of the island, beside the underwater barrier. Once it had been home to the Serrets, but they had migrated to Aosta a half century before Tori was born. Now the villa was used as a hotel for nobility, for lack of a better word.

 By the time they walked through the tall gates the sun was halfway set. They should have been so far she could no longer see the tips of the mountains. Instead they strode in and were immediately swarmed by the manager and his staff, cotowing until Tori’s handmaidens herded them all away. Save one valet, who was happy to show them to empty rooms.

 Tori spoke kindly to him, thanking him for the help, and he left with pink resting high on his cheeks. Katakuri seemed less happy with him, shutting the door firmly after he left. Tori looked over the room. It was modest, her husband had to bend to keep his head from knocking on the roof. Tori covered her mouth to try not to giggle at the sight. Her own people were tall, but he was another story altogether. Literally.

 “It’s not the most comfortable,” Tori mused. Katakuri sat on the edge of the bed. When he bent to accommodate himself she caught the barest sight of pale teeth poking out of his lips.

     Fuck, that’s cute.  

 Tori sat beside him on the bed, looping her arm with his and leaning on his shoulder. He didn’t tense like he would have when they first began. Instead he took her hand, no longer wrapped with bandages, and turned it over to inspect her palm. The skin was still pink and sensitive, but there were no extra layers, no scar tissue to be seen.

 “Strange,” he commented, so low she wouldn’t have heard if it wasn’t said right next to her.

 A phantom smile crossed her face. “It was a ‘gift’ from our Enchantress.”

 “From whom?”

 “The Enchantress,” Tori looked up at him. “You don’t know?”

 He shook his head minutely.

 “She blesses babes at their christening. She declared that I would be beautiful, and so I am, and I always will be. I won’t callous or wrinkle, I’ve never had acne or scars and I never will.”

 “If you don’t callous or get scars, your skin won’t toughen.”

 “Mhmm. I know. My hands blister and bleed every time I do any kind of labor. It’s always been like this. I’m soft and pretty, you see,” her smile was not entirely genuine.

 Silence fell for a long moment. She didn’t know what he was thinking.

 “What were you and your sister talking about, in the hall?”

 Tori sighed sofly. She closed her eyes. Already she could feel the angry thorns start to untangle themselves from her lungs.

 “My father is marrying her and my brother off. She was upset, and she was upset that I didn’t try to force his hand or change his mind.”

 “Why didn’t you?”

 Tori traced the lines in her husbands palm. Her soft thumb brushed the hard callouses from his hard won strength. She had seen his trident at home, though she had never seen him have to use it, and for that she was grateful.

 “She’s a princess. He’s a prince. Our lives do not belong to us,” Tori said quietly. “They belong to our people. To our kingdom, to our throne, to our father and our ancestors. Somewhere along the way, they forgot that.”

 “You never did, did you?” There something in his voice. Something like respect.

 “It’s the same for you and your siblings, isn’t it? You wed at your mothers behest, to join the family and grow your power and secure your lines. It’s not so different. Still…” she shook her head, trying to dismiss the silly thoughts.

 “Still?” he prodded, looking down at her.

 Tori looked very intently at their hands.

 “Even though I know what I am, and what my life will hold, I had hoped… when I was married, I had hoped that he might be blind.”

 She could      feel    his confusion.

 “Blind.” he repeated.

 “Blind. So that if they came to love me it would be in spite of my beauty rather than because of it.”

 He sucked in a hard breath. Tori waited for him to say something, but nothing came. They sat together as the sun began to dip and the shadows chased across the floor, both lost in their own thoughts.

[yukiwrites]

Nowi, Getting Accepted into the Family

Thank you so much for your support as always, @xpegasusuniverse! This one was so much fun to write I got carried away! lkasçdmkas I hope you like it!

Summary: Before fulfilling their promise of traveling the world to enjoy all of its festivals, Nowi and Ricken had to go back to his estate to introduce the manakete into the family. While his Father was away at work, they were received by his Mother, who although found Nowi’s ears strange, didn’t make the connection at first...

Commission info HERE and HERE!

_______________________________

The Fell Dragon had been destroyed for good -- along with Robin's sacrifice, any hopes the Grimleal had of reviving their false god had turned to ashes. The Halidom grieved the loss of their master tactician -- and make no mistake, the Shepherds would not rest until they had found him.

However, life still had to go on. The rebuilding of Ylisse and Plegia would take a few years at the very least, so it was not as though they had many resources to spare in their searches.

Many Shepherds also had their own futures to see to; be that devoting themselves to study or training so they could rise in their ranks or by returning home to take over their family business.

Or to keep promises with their loved ones, as it was Ricken and Nowi's case.

Before exchanging their vows, they had promised to travel the world to enjoy and study any and all possible festivals they could find: Harvest festivals, Lover's Day Festival, Summer/Winter Solstice Festivals, Flower Festivals... all of them!

... But first, they had to return to Ricken's estate to report their marriage to his family. He was a noble, after all, albeit mostly by name only.

"Okay, Nowi, repeat after me: Euryphaessa." Ricken held his sweetheart's hand as they were shown into his family's state.

Nowi protruded her lips, squinted and frowned. "Uryfneas- Aw, I can't do this, Ricken! Why did your dumb family have to have such a complicated name?!" She threw her hands upwards, taking Ricken's own with them.

Pouting, Ricken stomped his foot on the floor. "It's not dumb! And you gotta learn how to say it! You're part of the family now!"

"B-but it's so hard! Can't I just direct the person asking my family's name to you since you'll always be with me anyway? I'll be like 'youuuu can just ask my hubby here, he knows a lot more than me!' and we'll all be happy!"

"No, no, no! You gotta learn!"

Nowi's cheeks puffed twice the size of Ricken's. "My tongue can't make these complicated sounds! Human names are so hard; why can't we just have our own names and be done with it?!"

Reddening, ready to pick a fight, Ricken got on his toes to gain a slight height advantage over his newly-wed. "Well, see here! The history of our family -- your family, too! -- is extense and our lands cover-" He pointed with his index to her nose, not realizing that they had stopped walking in the middle of the hall of the Euryphaessa mansion.

In front of them, a tall, copper-haired woman cleared her throat to attract their attention. "Am I interrupting something, dear son of mine?"

Hearing his Mother, Lady Calylea’s voice made Ricken suddenly lose all of the air he had taken, quite literally shrinking back into his short height. "M-Mother! Hi! It's, um, it's good to see you!"

"Honestly," the woman took a few steps towards her boy, grasping him into a tight hug. "I haven't seen you in almost four years and that's how you come back home? Arguing with the one I can only assume is your beloved?"

"M-Motherrr! I'm not a child anymore, you can't just hug me like that in front of everyone!" He struggled to get away from the woman's grip, though from an outsider's eye he just looked like a kitten wanting out of its mother's embrace.

Nowi put one index over her lower lip, pouting slightly. "Why not? I wanted MY mom to hug me like that, too."

Ricken suddenly stopped struggling, remembering what Nowi had said about the seemingly loss of her family and how she didn't want to be left alone any longer. Instantly did the hostile feelings melt away, quite literally opening his eyes to see the lonely girl he had proposed to.

"I-I'm sorry about that outburst earlier, Nowi." Free from his mother's arms, Ricken trotted to his wife's side, taking her hand. "It's okay to take your time to say the name of our family. You'll be one of us forever, anyway."

Uncharacteristically bashful, Nowi looked down at their handhold, intertwining their fingers. "Mhm. I'm sorry for calling it 'dumb', too. It's not dumb if it's important to you."

"Ah, youth!" Lady Calylea clapped lovingly, quickly patting both young ones' backs. "Now, let us move to a tea room, shall we? I wager you have much to tell me now that you're home for good! And I cannot wait to hear more about my new in-law, either!"

"Weh? For good? But we're gonna go travel right away!" Nowi blurted out as they were seen into the tea room, the alluring smell of freshly baked sweets and warm beverage making her sit by the round table to stuff her face with them.

The Lady frowned, looking from her in-law to her son. "Ricken, what is this about?"

"Uh, I think I told you before, Mother? About how I was gonna come home to get a few funds to travel... I know we don't have much to spare and I don't want to ask for much, but only for the start of our journey, I'd like to have a bit more money-"

"Ohhh, so this 'funds' thing you kept saying is 'money'!" Nowi placed a closed fist over her open palm as though making the discovery of the century. But her bright expression immediately clouded. "Huh? But why do you need money? I don't need money when I travel..."

"Wha- Nowi?!" He started citing examples, lifting one finger for each term. "For transport-"

"I can just fly us there!"

"- for food-"

"You don't need to buy food... I can just, like, eat a whole cow or something."

"-for lodging- Hey, don't go around eating other people's cows! What about their business?!"

"Besides, Donny taught me how to hunt! We don't need money- and I wouldn't eat someone's cow, silly! Just a wild one or something. Maybe a horse. I don't really wanna eat wyverns, though... What if they're my cousins or something."

A macaroon fell from Lady Calylea’s hand as she watched her son and his wife talking all at the same time -- about the most absurd topics! What did she mean eat an entire cow or being COUSINS with wyverns?!

All of her noble training went into action as she managed not to break down in a nervous laughter. "Ri...cken? My dear son, what is going on? Surely you can explain to your mother the reason why your beloved is saying all of this-"

Nowi quickly turned to her in-law with an expression that could only be discerned as looking down on someone. Maybe for their ignorance. Perhaps she was laughing, too. Calylea couldn't tell very well from how her eyesight blurred from all the stimuli. "Huh? I'm a dragon! Didn't my ears give it away?" Nowi touched their pointy bits with her sweet-stained fingers, smearing a bit of chocolate- or perhaps vanilla -- onto them.

"Nowi, you're making a mess-" Ricken cleaned her ears by instinct, immediately blinking to turn to his mother. "Oh, Mother, she's a-"

"D-dragon?" Lady Calylea stuttered, her eyebrow flickering.

"Yeah! You know, like grrrh." Nowi made a clawing movement with her hand.

Ricken and Calylea both exchanged glances, though their expressions could not be more opposite of each other. "What-"

"Like, grrrrh!" She pawned again, growling slightly. It made Ricken blush with endearment at the same time his Mother lost the color on her face.

"You married a manakete?! A holy, immortal being-" Calylea choked on her own words, quickly prostrating herself on the ground. "Oh, forgive my rudeness, O mighty-"

"M-mother?!"

"Oh! Oh no no no, she's worshiping me, please don't worship me!" Nowi lied down on the floor in front of Calylea’s deep bowing position, looking at her from below. "Okay? Please don't worship me? I'm, like, a thousand years old or something, but I'm really just Nowi, okay?" She placed both indexes over her cheeks, smiling foolishly. "Okay?!"

"H-however, my Lady-"

Panicking slightly, Nowi quickly shut Calylea up with both of her hands. "B-besides, you're my family now, right? My- my Mother-in-law? That's too long, so I'm just gonna call you Mom from now on, okay? I don't really remember my Mom and I've been alone for so long; please don't push me away by worshiping me, okay? Okay?! ... Mom?"

If one could actually see it, Lady Calylea felt as though an arrow had pierced through her heart. True, Nowi was somewhat of an ancient and sacred being, but she also was her son's wife and she... looked so small and lonely...

Something clicked inside the Lady, making her blink lovingly, as though a 'Mom Switch' had been flipped. She slowly took Nowi's hands from her mouth, smiling motherly to the young-looking girl. "Of... of course, Nowi. If that's how you want it, then by all means, you can call me 'Mom'. I'm sure we'll get along swimmingly from now on."

"Yayyy! I have a new Mom now!" The manakete jumped up, hugging Calylea with everything she had. "I can't wait to show our kid to you! Nah's gonna love having a granny!"

Calylea started foaming through the mouth instantly. "A g-grandchild!? RICKEN?!"

[juwelyow-blog]

TREASURES

Personal Narrative

Smile flashes through my face as I remember the times where I enjoy my high school life. As I take the journey of my Junior High times. Everything is memorable in that time, as every elder do said that the most memorable time to them and the most happiest is the time that they where in high school. Every playful things they do is the best memory to them their high school squad is the best too and up until now they still remember those happy things that they’ve experienced that as if it just happened tomorrow.

And I can prove it too, the happiness when we are in high school. Nothing can compare to it even in senior nor in college. Because at the end of the day were always saying that high school times is the best and the happiest. Those encounter in my HS times is crystal clear that carved in my mind I still remember the first time I stepped my foot in the ground of Imus National High School Bucandala Main. I was still naïve in that school and I really don’t know who should I approach and where should I go. That time my mom go with me in the early morning of June, my heart race like a galloping horse inside my chest, my mom assured me that everything will be fine and I can easily get a friend since I’m friendly. I only smile at her not knowing what to say since I’m too nervous. As we reached my new school, I was surprised in many students scattered around the school ground. Again I’m contemplating whether I’m going to survive my four years in HS. But as I entered my new classroom and meet different people who became my classmate in the whole year, I was hesitating if I can have a friend but things changed as I got a courage to make friends, and give everyone a small smile just to let them know that I wanted to become close to them and be friends with them.

That time in my 7th Grade I have meet different people, and be friends with. The most remarkable one I can say the encounter that I treasured the most is when I meet one of my best friends up until now, her name is Ella, I remember the time that we just start in small smile, since she was sitting at the other row behind my sit every time I accidentally gazed at the back and we looked at each other we just gave each other a small smile. At first I thought that she was mean, and kind of sassy looking girl but we got to know each other more when we became sit mate. She was indeed a nice one, and we became friends. My first impression to her never last as I get to know her a lot. She was just a joker like me and most of all a smart and hardworking student. At first I thought that I will never get a friend and My HS life will be chaotic.

In that particular encounter, it boost my confidence to survive and enjoy my HS life. And at the time of my G10, it proves to me that my High School life is the most happiest encounter in my life. My whole year in my 10th Grade is just the best. And those people I became friends in the time, my squad is who I treasured the most and will be forever in my heart. That’s why a heavy tears falls down on my eyes when we all parted ways from our 10th grade moving up. It was a sunny afternoon of march when we held our moving up. Since the day of our practice, we know that this is it, whether we like it or not we will bid our goodbyes soon and start our new journey.

A bittersweet time of my Junior High times, specially the times of our bonding as section Socrates, the fight and playful things we had in our room. And all the things we shared with each other. So the time has come, one sunny morning of March I woke up to realized that I’m finally graduating in my JHS. I started to get the things I need, my well prepared uniform and my black shoes that is well shinned. After I ate my lunch I prepared as well, I fixed my hair and did my makeup. My mom took some photos of me. I can’t even smile because I don’t feel it. Indeed that I’m happy that finally I finished another chapter of my journey but the fact of I will take another step and some of the people I get know, we will parted ways makes me sad. Because this is the reality.

As the ceremony formally begins. I know in myself that this will be our last time to gather and be with each other, my beloved 10 Socrates. At first were all ok laughing together and talking as the ceremony went by. But in the last part of the ceremony, the last song that my section jammed with. It pains me a lot, knowing that we only got one hour left to enjoyed each other company. One year had gone by and we realized how past the day and the night changes. And that’s when I heavy tears rolls down in my eyes, knowing that it all ends here. With a bittersweet smile flashes through my face, but a quivering lips and a hard sobbed, me, and the whole 10 Socrates ended up in a tight group hug. Imagine that we all meet having different impression for each other but then we ended up closed enough and we build a strong bond as family.

I can say that each of us became so much intact despite of having misunderstanding, we become family that rise together. The Ceremony ends in ‘good luck to college’ ‘hope we see each other again’ ‘good luck’ ‘bye’ in those words I know that those people who become part of my Junior High already got some spot here in my heart.

[englishmemoirthing-blog]

Memoir Project

Preface

I am not a parent. I will be one of these days to my own children, but at this point in time, I am not a parent. I am a sister. I am a first-year college student, studying nursing with the goal to become one of the best and most experienced nurse practitioners out there. I like to draw and I’m a pretty amateur singer. I am an 18-year-old who still drinks juice boxes and eats microwave chicken nuggets for lunch. I am not one to take on something that is too big, mostly because I know from experience. I am not what you would define as your typical parent. I’ve never even had children of my own. And yet, I was handed a cranky 4-year-old at the prime age of 10 years old, and I call her my kid. She is my child, even to this day. I am not a parent, but when it comes to my sister, my one and only source of happiness, I am one.

The Initiation

         I’m sitting in between my sister’s bed and my own on the floor, playing with my dinosaurs when I hear the loud banging on the front door. I immediately look up from my imaginary Jurassic world, knowing that in my 10 years of living in that house that no one ever knocks on our old, broken down front door. I sprint up around to the back door of my mom’s room leading to the living room to see who our loud, new guest could be, but by the time I get there, my grandmother is being pushed aside by the police barging into our house. I could see their police cars blocking our driveway and in the road by in front of our house through our front door, now left wide open. I watch them as they head out of my sight, towards the hallway to the kitchen, which I promptly circle around using the back entrance.

         I jumped up onto my grandparents’ old armchairs, through a large window looking into the kitchen. I remember slipping a little bit, making me giggle a little while I got back up. However, the sight that I saw once I got up wiped my tiny, innocent smile off my face. I watched as the police took hold of my father, handcuffed him, and started to recite his Miranda rights. My heart sunk to my stomach, and all the noise in the room started to fade around me. I then looked to my right to realize that my 3-year-old sister, who had climbed up onto the chair next to mine, was trying to see over the window, just as I had been doing. I calmly and quietly climbed down from my perch on the chair, pulled my sister away from the window, and quietly led her back to the room we shared. I shut the doors so she couldn’t escape, then sprinted back to the front of the house. I had just missed the cops putting my dad into the police car in our driveway when my mom came up to me with a look of utter disbelief on her face. “Can you please go get your father some clean pants to take with him before he leaves”? I stared at her as if I was waiting for her to laugh and tell me that she was joking. When that moment never came, I slowly turned around and ran to my dad’s closet for the pants. When I got back to my mom, she yanked the pants from me, almost knocking me over, and walked out the door. I wanted to follow her, but something was holding me back (in due time, I found out that my grandfather had held me until everyone left the driveway). My mom didn’t come home until about 2 in the morning. I had to figure out how to feed my baby sister without my mom or dad helping me. And sure enough, this continued on for the next 5 years after my dad got arrested. This was my first day of becoming a co-parent to my sister.

         Every mother can attest to the hardships of motherhood, from birthing the child to watching them leave for college, nothing is easy for parents these days.  However, being the child having to take care of one or more of your siblings makes it 10x harder, especially if your parents are still around, but are too caught up with everything else to worry too much about taking care of the kids. And this isn’t me trying to bash my parents or the thousands of parents relying on the older siblings to help with the younger ones, they do the best they can with the circumstances they are given. I wanted to share my story considering that there are thousands of others out who could possibly relate to my experience. Each situation is unique and some definently had it worse than me, but speaking on behalf of myself and all the other older siblings out there that had it somewhat like me, raising a kid when you’re still a kid can either the worst thing or the best thing for your childhood.

         There are a plethora of things that I have learned from becoming a co-parent (which is technically between two divorced parents, but my parents agreed that we could call all three of us to be co-parenting), but the most important thing I could’ve learned is the art of patience. From the start of my parenting journey (awful word to use but I’ll work on it) to now, my patience threshold had risen to levels that still make me wonder how I was ever impatient with anybody. If I had a dime for the amount of times I held my tongue when my sister would back talk me or throw a tantrum, I could go into early retirement (and I’m only 18).

    The Struggle

         Ever since my father decided to make the mistakes he made that ruined our family dynamic, I’ve been left to be my sister’s primary caretaker. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve had to help her with homework, and the amount of recipes in my head that I have from having to scramble to make for dinner is more than I’ll ever need. From getting her to 7:00 am theatre practices to following her and her friends around the mall for hours on end, I’ve made sure that she still gets the childhood that was taken from me. And in doing these things and having to be there for her, it triggered this unexplainable love for my sister that I have never (and probably will never) experienced in my entire life. She is the most important person in my life and my absolute favorite person on this planet. I would do anything for my younger sister, and at times I have had to make sacrifices so she could be happy, but I was more than willing to do them for her. My school schedule is solely based off of when I need to be home to get her from school or make sure she’s not at home alone for too long. In about two months, I’ll be getting her first and middle name tattooed behind my ear. She has become my whole life, the one person I could not live without. And yet, she is also the person that gets to me the most. She’s the only one who knows exactly what button to push to make me a certain kind of angry. She knows every single thing to say or do to get her way with me. She bends every rule in my rule book and uses that against my parents now that they take care of her more with me. She learns from everything my parents and I do so she can use it for the future. She’s the smartest, yet most annoying and manipulative child I’ve ever met. And I bet many parents (or siblings with the same case as me) could say something like that about their kid as well.

I’ve come to learn very quickly that guardians are the most predictable human beings ever, knowing from myself and my parents equally. We use the same punishments and same phrases when talking to our children or telling them right and wrong. We say the same lectures when the kid runs with scissors or tries to touch the hot stove or telling them not to talk to strangers. Everything is the same with us, mostly because kids tend to have a hard time learning from certain things, but we tend to prepare what we want to say in certain situations in order for them to understand. We want to be ready for the worst of the worst, for the stuff that will stick with them in the long run. The first time they go out with friends by themselves, the first time they stay home alone, their first boyfriend or girlfriend. Looking into the future at that stuff is scary, so we prepare something that is going to get the point across, but still give them room to learn in a safe manner (whether we know it or not).

         Another harsh truth of childcare is the no sleep thing, especially when they’re little. She always had a hard time sleeping in her bed, so I let her sleep in mine when I first started taking care of her. My only problem with it was that she tends to sleep like a starfish and kicks like a horse in the middle of the night if you get too close to her. I was constantly covered in bruises, and the bags under my eyes looked like they weighed 50 pounds. It went on for about a year before I found a good way to kick her out for good. One day she started crawling in with me, and at one point I started to apologize. “What are you saying sorry for?”, not knowing the horror she was about to endure.” Oh, not much, I just thought you should know that I farted in my bed a minute ago”. She never stepped foot in my bed after that.

  The Aftermath

         After being a tired, baggy-eyed witness to my parent’s divorce, and they finally stepped away from the problems they had with each other, they finally started to help with me with my sister. Of course, they had their struggles considering by the time they started pitching in, she was around 8. They didn’t have too much experience with the madness that is my sister. Frankly, they didn’t really know her personality all that well. So, in a very awkward and weird set of conversations with my parents, I began to teach them the ABC’s of how to raise a little girl who wants to become president or a lawyer some day at the age of 8. I taught them her little quirky things like not to question her when she names her stuffed whale Jefferey, or not to correct her when she says deodorant like de-do-dar-ant because she knows the correct way, she just wants you to correct her so she can laugh at how concerned you get when you correct her. However, the most important thing I taught them about her is that she is one of the most individualized people on the planet, and she will always try to do everything by herself first before asking. The last thing she wants to do is ask for help, but I taught her when to realize your capacity for doing something and that it’s ok to ask for help sometimes when you really can’t do something. And the last thing I wanted them to do was to undo everything I taught her because it didn’t fit with how they wanted her to be.

At times they wanted her to be something she wasn’t, like the time my mom wanted to put her in gymnastics even though all she wanted to do was play in the pit with all the foam blocks every time she went. My dad had an easier time accepting everything, maybe because he felt bad for missing out in the first place, or because he wants the same things I want for her. My mom never felt like she did anything wrong, so she came back into it as though she already knew her. However, after a while she realized that the 4 year old she used to know was not the same as the smarter, more independent child that was in front of her. Even to this day she says my sister scares her, because she never got used to the fact that there’s a good chunk missing from her memory of my sister in the time she was chasing my dad around everywhere and going to court all the time. She learns something new about my sister every day, even as an 11-year-old middle schooler who wants to join the volleyball team and is constantly mumbling internet memes to herself to make herself laugh.

Now, my parents and I both equally split the work of raising our tall, very strange 11-year-old girl. Sometimes I take her all the way into Katy for school in the mornings in exchange for one of them to go and get her or to babysit when I want to hang out with a friend or something. And in some ways, they pay me back for all the lost time. Both pay me whenever I go out with her to buy dinner, but my dad gives me more freedom when it comes to going out with friends or my boyfriend or someone. My mom still likes to think she was there all those years to cope, so the most she’ll do is not fight with us when we want to have fast food instead of meatloaf. They both, however, have grown into the whole parenting thing, and both love how my sister turned out in the end.

My time with her was long and hard, and sometimes I think I lost apart of myself as a kid that I know I won’t get back. But I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world, because I gained something so incredible and I gained so many good things I can use for my own children someday. I’d go back and do it all again if I had the chance. I’ve learned so much, and I’ve become someone my sister is going to look up to while she grows more into who she is. And I hope one day I can show her this, so she knows our past a little more and can understand why she is who she is. Because in a way, she lived out the part of my life that I lost, and for that I am eternally grateful.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

9x06: Details - A Lot of Them!

Okay, you know how yesterday, I said I didn't have much to say about this episode? Yeah, I lied. I re-watched yesterday, when I wasn't super tired and hadn’t had such a long day, I found TONS to talk about.

And yes, this will be kind of long. 

***As always, spoilers abound for 9x06, so don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Daryl:

Daryl’s tent at the beginning reminded me a lot of the tents we saw in 4x01 and the parking lot at Grady. Just saying.

Of course he was fishing, which I naturally want to relate to Oceanside. But more importantly, we saw him standing in water, and Beth = water.

Then there’s his new poncho. I honestly hadn’t thought too much about it until I saw an edit someone made on IG. They changed his poncho to red and gave it a “Little Red Riding Hood” caption. Now, some of you may remember me doing Little Red Riding Hood posts a long time ago. (X, X) Like, before S6 aired. Mine were based around Red Poncho Guy in 5b. But when I saw that edit, I realized something. We saw a red poncho in Beth’s cell and then Red Poncho Guy in 5b, who Daryl saw briefly and then lost track of. Kinda like Beth. So, what if the red poncho represents Beth’s missing/kidnapped arc? Then maybe Daryl’s green poncho (opposite color) represents that she’s about to return.

I think I've talked about Songbird enough for you to know what I think it means: songbird = Beth and Beth is about to appear.

One thing I didn't talk about it in as much detail as is the walker attached to the tree that Daryl sees. This is a major parallel to the blonde woman he and Aaron saw in 5x15 that was tied to a tree. You’ll notice a pattern as we go along of symbols we saw in S5 and haven’t seen since that are cropping up now in S9. Seems to me like things that happened in S5 are about to come back around.

Michonne:

Michonne finds the van in the woods. The box she digs through is a cigar box, which is a callback to Abraham. But the box itself really reminded us of the music box. The color and size are roughly similar. The things she takes out of it are all highly symbolic.

We see Rick's ring on Michonne’s necklace. (Wedding Ring Theory)

1). The sheriff. I think this could feasibly represent two different things. A) That the new sheriff is about to appear. In other words, it represents Beth. B) Obviously Rick. It definitely represents Rick for Michonne. I think it also foreshadows Rick's return. In a way, she's holding onto this in the same way Daryl holds onto Beth’s knife.

2) The four-leaf clover. (X) Not only is it green, but represents Luck (X), and then there’s all the Irish symbolism, such as Paddy Reilly, etc. Like maybe the person all that symbolism ties to is about to appear.

3) The yo-yo. I totally didn’t catch this when I first watched the episode, but they talked about it on TTD. It must be important if they’re drawing attention to it. The only other time we saw a yo-yo on the show was in S5. They made a big deal about it in the show, but then we never saw it again. The only thing I could think of back then was that, because yo-yos go down and then come back up again, it represented that the person about to go down (Beth) would bounce back up again at some point. Once more, we haven't seen any yo-yos since then. Now, were suddenly seeing one. That's a big deal.

 (I tried and couldn’t get a non-blurry pic of the yo-yo, but it’s red and green.)

Michonne finds toilet paper. See the Toilet Paper theory, plus I talked about this in THIS ASK. I'm not sure what it means but I have a halfhearted forecast for it. I’ve noticed that toilet paper is often seen at the beginning of a long journey. Could that mean a long journey for Michonne? In the comics, Michonne is with Ezekiel rather than Rick. When Ezekiel dies, Michonne leaves TF for a long time. I wonder if they'll keep that arc, but in this case, it's Rick that “died” for Michonne, rather than Ezekiel. If Michonne leaves, that might be what the TP is about. It would also leave leadership of Alexandria wide open.

This is yet another reason why I don't think Ezekiel will die. It could be that Rick's "death" replaced Ezekiel's death, especially where Michonne is concerned. I also noticed that just before this episode, the official TWD account did posts saying, “Who Will Lead?” They had one for each Daryl, Carol, Ezekiel, and Michonne. Asking who will lead is very interesting because it's basically asking who will step into Rick's (or the sheriff's) shoes. 

I found Michonne’s post to be particularly interesting. The caption says, “She’s got what it takes, but what will she choose?” As though she may choose specifically not to lead. I think that will have something to do with her arc this season and I'm interested to see where it goes.

We see that the bridge was never fixed. Again, I need to re-vamp my Bridge Theory, but it’s become clear to me that the bridge represents the community or TF as a whole. Basically, as I said before, it broke when Rick blew up the bridge. It has never been fixed. Which is a symbolic way of saying that the four communities have fractured and have no cohesion anymore. Ezekiel says, "If we could bring the communities back together as full partners…" So, the communities definitely aren’t working together anymore.

Michonne is being very negative in this episode and refuses to give Magna’s group the time of day. I did like the she was sharp as ever and knew Magnet was hiding things, but she's definitely being close minded. Rosita later tells Gabriel that Michonne knows prison doesn't really mean anything and she riled up the crowd on purpose.

We don't really understand the reason for Michonne’s actions until Judith hears her talking to herself.

I breezed over this yesterday, but I think it's important to know what’s she saying when Judith listens in. It's obvious that Michonne is talking to Rick, who she believes is dead. The “him” she mentions is obviously Carl. This is what she says. "Thought I was done with this. Done with talking to you and never hearing you answer. But I watched what you did to protect him…nothing else mattered except him… And I need to be that now for them. And I know it's not what we planned, not what we wanted, but you weren't here. Neither was he. You didn't have to go through the…". At that point, the floorboards creak under Judith and Michonne cuts off.

Okay, a couple of takeaways from this:

1) Michonne is acting as she is because she believes she needs to protect her children at all costs. She’s basically become ruthless Rick in order to protect Judith and RJ. It’s what she believes she needs to do right now, even though it's not the future she and Rick envisioned together.

2) Then there's that last line. Something definitely went down in the six years since Rick left, and from this, it was something that happened after he left because she said he wasn't there for it. I'm willing to bet whatever it is, how she got that X-scar, and also is the reason for what Carol says about people going out and never come back. We just don't know exactly what happened yet.

I wonder if this entire season is going to be full of flashbacks telling us what happened during those six years. I kinda hope so, because essentially what we’ll have to see with Beth. They skipped over whatever happened during those missing 17 days, and they’ll have to go back and show us what it was. So, if the entire season is structured around figuring out something that was skipped, maybe we’ll see other things that have been skipped over as well.

Incidentally, Michonne has done this before: talked to the dead. Remember, she told Rick early on in 3x12, Clear, that she has. “I talk to my dead boyfriend sometimes. It happens.” So I thought it was an interesting continuity of her character to show her doing this with Rick, now. Also a very obvious way to show that she 100% believes he’s dead.

I thought Judith and Michonne’s conversation on the stairs was heartbreaking. It made me sad when Judith said she was starting to forget Rick’s and Carl’s voices. “I’m not trying to, but they keep fading away.” But Judith is a lot like Carl. She’s growing up in this world, so it’s second nature to her. That makes her strong, but also less sentimental and utterly unapologetic about who she is. I’m loving Judith so much!

When we saw the X scar on Michonne, I also noticed a butterfly picture of some kind of butterfly picture on the wall behind her. (Transformation?) 

And the curtains in her room look a LOT like the wallpaper at the funeral home in Alone. They’re black and white, rather than green and yellow, but covered with a very similar bird and vine/tree pattern.

Let's talk about callbacks season four. There's a Council ruling at Alexandria, much as there was in S4 at the prison. Also much like at the prison, there's no clear leader. Remember in S4, the council led because Rick stepped down from leadership. He didn't really become the sheriff again until after disaster struck in the MSF. So, perhaps we won't see the sheriff emerge until then.

It's also interesting to note that Michonne is in pretty much the same place she was in at the start of S4. She's obviously more angry right now, but her horse is almost exactly the same color as the one she rode in 4x01. We even see her ride into Alexandria at the beginning of this episode in a similar fashion. 

So, Michonne isn't really leading. She's going outside the walls a lot and still struggling with things, much as she did in S4. She’s KIND OF leading in name (FG calls her the “head of security”) but hasn’t truly stepped into Rick’s leadership shoes either.

Carol:

Carol sees a flower. My first (and somewhat rebellious) thought was that it's definitely NOT Cherokee Rose (Hehe). But it’s growing up through cracks, which goes with the theme of light coming through the cracks.

Henry calls Ezekiel and Carol Mom and Dad. We also see an entwined-fingers hand hold for Carzekiel. All is right with the world. ;D

They’re holding some kind of fair at the kingdom. Not sure what that's about, but they keep talking about it. Henry leaves with Carol to go to Hilltop and apprentice to Earl (that's the guy that tried to kill Maggie but she ended up letting him out of prison). Henry says he'll be back before the fair starts. Sounds kind of ominous to me.

They also talk about dreamers. Henry is a dreamer. Carol says he gets it from Ezekiel, but it's not a bad thing. And the world could use more dreamers. Beth was most definitely a dreamer. Once again, we’re seeing that Daryl and Carol are very alike, which is why they wouldn't make good romantic partners. They’re too alike. They both need someone more optimistic to complement their tendency toward darkness. I’ll illustrate in a second how much Henry is like Beth.

Ezekiel also makes a point here of saying that Hilltop is distant. Remember in 9x05, Daryl mentioned, just before Rick blew the bridge, that the walker horde had run right through Hilltop? So, I’m thinking Hilltop probably had to be completely rebuilt. I think we can assume it was, because Michonne is taking Magna’s group there. Still, I’m curious to what’s happening at Hilltop these days.

After Jed’s group gets a hold of Carol and Henry, we get a quick look at the vegetables Carol was transporting. They include tomatoes and carrots. I think the tomatoes represent the communities prospering and moving forward. But the carrots? They’ve always been a Beth symbol. Remember, The King of Carrot Flowers from Alone?

Here, we got more information about stuff that's been going on during the six years we don't know about yet. Jed, chewing on a match, says the Sanctuary went bust. Before Rick blew the bridge, they talked about how nothing would grow there, so it’s not surprising it would be defunct now, but still, it’s something else we didn't see.

Jed also said they got hungry and ate horses. Carol says they could have joined the other communities (and several of them did; Laura and some other recognizable saviors are at Alexandria) but obviously Jed and his followers opted for a Negan mentality and don't want to be a part of a community. They’d rather just take people's stuff.

Then Jed said, "You spared me back in the day, so I'll do the same for you." He’s probably referring to when Rick and Carol got the better of them in 9x04, but we still don’t know what happened between Carol and this group in 9x06. The last we saw, shots were fired that brought the walkers toward the bridge and led to Rick blowing it up. I’m wondering if what Carol does to them has to do with her blaming them for Rick’s death. Not sure, though.

Obviously Carol burning the Savior is a callback to S4 with Karen and David as well as to Carol burning Saviors in 6x13.

I’m very curious about what Carol is doing. Even before they were tricked by the saviors, she’d already told Henry they were going somewhere other than Hilltop first. She'd always planned to go visit Daryl, and I wonder why. She must have a reason.

Then we get to Henry and Carol making camp for the night. This is where I became convinced that Henry is something of a Beth proxy. He said, “I don’t get it.” The opposite of Beth’s, “I get it now,” but still. The parallel is there. He also tells Carol, “That’s bullshit.” He’s calling her on her crap, and he’s 100% right because she says she let Jed and the Saviors go, but then goes and kills them while Henry sleeps. Also, Henry and Carol hang cans for an alarm. We saw that prominently with Beth and Daryl in Alone.

I’m kind of thinking we might lose Henry. I hope not, but I just felt an ominousness in his story line this week. There was a lot of emphasis on Carzekiel and him as a family, on keeping him safe. They didn’t like the idea of him going to Hilltop to train with Earl. I really hope I’m wrong, but I’m wondering if we’ll lose Henry, which would put Carol and Ezekiel in a super-dark place again. Let’s hope not.

Rosita, Father Gabriel, & Eugene:

Just for an instant, we see feet running at the beginning of this episode. 

Even though it's just feet that we see (not arms or torsos) it reminded me of the opening credits Beth-flash. In this case, it was Rosita, Aaron, Eugene and Laura looking for Judith.

Eugene carries a deer. This could be an example of the Deer Theory. I'm not sure who it would apply to here, but Luke calls it a buck, so I think it works. Maybe foreshadow of Beth about to appear? Or it may extend into further episodes. Not sure yet.

Magna’s group calls walkers “sickos.” That struck me as hilarious because my 4-year-old nephew is going through a phase where he calls everybody sickos. ;D

They show the passage of time by the length of people's hair. Michonne’s dreads are longer, Daryl's hair has gotten really long in the back, though you can always tell that from the front. 

Obviously, Judith. Eugene is sporting a long braid, Native American-style.

Father Gabriel wants to use a radio to find more people. I noticed a lot of symbolism that we saw in FTWD this past season, and this reminded me of that. This could also be part of the Communications Theme.

Rosita and FG are a couple. I know not everybody is a fan, but I thought they were kinda cute together.

Father Gabriel says, "I think Michonne is wrong. I think they're good people." So, more of Beth's “there still good people” theme. But that's just the beginning. Rosita and FG’s conversation was super interesting.

Talking about the transmitter, Rosita says, "But trying to find people and reach out to them with that thing? It's like stumbling around in the dark." It reminded me of Beth stumbling around in the dark with Noah when they were trying to escape Grady.

FG then answers, "But think what we might find. Who we might find. What else might be out there." So, we have several different references to Beth in the scene. There's the “good people” remark, the “stumbling around in the dark” remark (which may or may not be around about Beth; I may be reaching).

Plus, we had the broken picture in the background. 

Remember this window was broken when FG and Sasha fought over the gun in 5x16. So, yet another S5 reference (we seriously haven’t seen that picture since) plus we’re pretty sure the picture represents Beth. It has white cypress trees and it was shot with a bullet. My point is that we have a lot of Beth references in this scene, and FG says with emphasis, “Just think WHO we might find.” I think that’s super-significant.

So I’m feeling like this relay Eugene and Rosita set up may be how the group comes back into contact with Beth again.

Eugene is trying to get up his courage to tell Rosita how he feels about her. I thought it was interesting that she seemed to want him to tell her as well.

I felt like there was a lot of symbolism in what they said about the walker tracks. They notice hundreds of walker tracks heading East. Eugene is comforted by the fact that he and Rosita need to head west to get to the water towers, where they set up the relay. Then the walker herd ends up coming toward them anyway. Eugene says it must have done a U-turn. I'm assuming that's probably be because the Whisperers are doing something to push the walkers back that way. Still, we have the east-west symbolism.

The more I watch it, the more I think this sequence with Rosita and Eugene is super-significant and a major foreshadowing, which is not necessarily a good thing. First, they’re near graveyard. I had to look two or three times very carefully, but the water towers are directly next to a graveyard. 

So, we have the Communication theme (because of the relay) a water symbol (the towers) and a graveyard that looks a lot like the graveyard in Alone.

We also saw a ladder fall and Eugene hurting his knee. 

We saw a ladder fall around Maggie in S6, and I don’t think we ever nailed down exactly what the ladder symbolizes in TWD. But at the least, it means they're in danger. Maggie almost died when the ladder fell in S6 and Eugene almost died here because the ladder fell.

Okay guys, I’m gonna put an unpopular opinion forth here. I think we saw a lot of foreshadows in this episode that Eugene is going to die. I love Eugene these days, especially his long hair and seeing him as a bad ass, so I don't want him to die, but I'm worried he might. I mean, there's the graveyard, there's him falling and hurting his leg, the ladder, him offering to sacrifice himself for Rosita and trying to admit his undying love for her first. It all felt really ominous to me.

Then there's the fact that they used Rosita and Eugene to introduce the Whisperers. I feel like whoever they used, it was always going to be significant. The could’ve Daryl and Carol to introduce them, Magna’s group, or any character on the show, but they used Rosita and Eugene. So I’m wondering if, rather than Rosita and Ezekiel losing their heads to the Whisperers, it might be Rosita and Eugene. Again, I hope I’m wrong and, you know, nobody else dies EVER on the show, but I feel like that's what they might be telling us. Guess we’ll find out soon whether I’m right or not.

One more thing about this scene with Rosita and Eugene that made my jaw drop, though I’m actually not 100% on it. I noticed at one point, they focused on a shot of Rosita and Eugene’s feet as they ran. And I thought I saw something on the ground. So, I looked more closely. I’m not sure what this is, but there seems to be something metallic on the ground where they’re walking. I even think there might be two things, one on each side, and Rosita and Eugene walk between them. Is it possible that…this is a bear trap? If so, that’s HUGE! It’s a major symbol of Beth that TD has known about for a long time. But again, I’m not positive that’s what it is. Any insights?

Magna’s Group:

We always love music references, and Luke is a music teacher. What really jumped out at me, though, was when they asked him, “Who are you now?” he answers, “I’m still a music teacher.” You know, like “I still sing.”

And we can link the title to Beth as well. Remember when she talked o Daryl in Still, she said, “You gotta stay who you are, not who you were.” So the question, “Who are you, now?” goes along with that theme.

I thought Magna’s prison tattoo was interesting. Michonne said the four dots represented the four walls and in the middle one represented the prisoner inside. It made me think of Four Walls and a Roof (5x03). There's been plenty of conjecture about what the title meant. Maybe the whole time, the idea was that it represented a prison. (Also another callback to S5).

Which brings me to my next point. While arguing against letting Magna’s group stay, Michonne says, "I remember." 1) It has to do with what happened during the six-year time jump that they haven't told us yet. Michonne seems to be referencing a point when they let someone in and it went wrong. Probably the same thing she’s talking to Rick about later. 2) It hearkens back to the title in 5B. 5x12 was called Remember, so yet another reference to S5. 3) Beth said the exact same thing to Daryl in Still. "I remember."

Siddiq says the injured woman in Magna’s group (Miko) has a concussion and is dehydrated, but should be back on her feet soon. That made me think of Beth at Grady because she was also told she had a concussion, which she probably didn't. Can you see the parallels? Miko is part of a group, has a head injury, and wakes up in a new community.

Not sure what my opinion of Magna is yet. So far, she seems like a little bit of a loose cannon. She was about to break into Michonne’s house with the knife necklace. What did she plan to do? It was only when she saw Michonne’s son that she stopped, changed her mind, and went to knock at the front door. Hmm.  

I also caught another theme at this part. When her and Michonne are talking, she says she’s done terrible things. Michonne answers that they all have. It’s the only reason they’re still here. Then Michonne says, “They aren’t always easy to live with.” To which Magna replies, “But it’s better than losing everything.”

I think that will be a theme this season. They have to learn to live with the things they’ve done. It may not be easy, but if they don’t, they could lose everything.

Reasons I think still Rick will be back:

1) In the opening montage, Michonne says, "I'm still here too." The “I'm still here” is a theme we've heard a lot in the show. When someone says it, it means they've survived and are still fighting. Michonne says, "I know you're still here. I'm still here too." She doesn't necessarily mean she thinks is alive, but I feel like it's symbolism that Rick will be back.

2) There's also the 7x12 symbolism. Remember Michonne thought Rick was dead and was utterly devastated, but he came back out through the yellow door (yellow equals escape) and they had a reunion. It's really only a matter time before he shows up again.

Judith and Negan

She reads him her math problem, and we get some more A/B symbolism. She says, “Airplane A and Airplane B are 1000 miles apart. If airplane A is flying east at 500 mph, and Airplane B is flying west at 650 mph…” She doesn't finish the question because Negan cuts her off. If the writers wanted us to hear the question, we would have. The only reason to hear the rest of the problem was to get that A/B and east-west symbolism in. Negan says she should book a seat on Airplane C because it sounds like one hell of a collision.

So, the idea is that these two planes are on a collision course. We have A, which we think represents leadership, and B, which is more like a follower. But we've also thought B might represent Beth and C represents TF and/or where they’re living. So, together with Daryl saying a storm is coming, it seems like a lot of things are about to collide here. Just not sure what form that will take yet.

Negan tells Judith his twisted little story about how he used to bring home stray dogs. Okay, so first of all, DOGS! (Sirius/Dog Star Symbolism). He uses his story to illustrate that even if the people seem to be good, it only takes one to kill everybody. That could most definitely foreshadow something.

Finally, the timeline was really jacked up. We saw three days in the Michonne/Alexandria story line. The first day where Magna’s group is brought to Alexandria, the second day where the trial is held, and then the third day where Michonne offers to take them to Hilltop and they set off.

Carol/Henry only went through two days. We saw them in the morning of the first day when they left the Kingdom and ran into the Saviors, at night, and then the next day where they meet Daryl.

For Rosita and Eugene, we saw only one day, and it wasn’t over yet at the end of the episode. No idea if that will be important moving forward, but I’ll keep an eye on it.

Okay, I’ll shut up now. Lots of setups in this episode for the coming arc. But definitely lots more interesting symbols than I thought there would be. Thoughts?

[oracleofapollo]

Questions about me

So today is my birthday. 26 and officially over a quarter century. So I thought I’d post questions often asked about myself and how I came to be Hellenic and all. Seems very befitting with my “question” post being what really kick started everything for me. So here we go!

“How old were you when you decided Hellenic Poly was your path?”

A: 14. I had been searching for what religion, if any, fit me since I was 6 and had many run ins with it, such as I found Thanatos when I was 12, but it wasn’t until I was 14 that I really thought of it as a path and wanted to take it.

“Did you ever think you didn’t want to be Hellenic?”

A: Yes. In middle school when I was still searching my world history class went over Greek Mythology but was very... well distorted on the myths and made me legitimately feel “I don’t want anything to do with that craziness”. That changed quickly when I started my own research. Now don’t get me wrong. Even at this time I adored Thanatos and felt very close to many of Hephaestus’s stories but at the same time my teacher did a shit poor job of telling correct versions of the stories and often confused roman stories with Greek stories. When corrected she’d say “same circus” and just continued on. Which made it hard to really get to understand either well.

“When did you first notice your gift as an oracle?”

A: Before I was Hellenic and didn’t realize til after. To clarify. When I was in elementary school I often talked about a woman name Aurora who I said was goddess over light “or something” and a man named Arion, who I said was an ocean god. My mom and a few of my childhood friends remembered me doing this often, but hey every kid has invisible friends, so no thoughts were put into it until I retold the stories to an adult friend and all. We laughed and said it’d be funny if Aurora was the Roman goddess and Eos’s counterpart, but had no idea about any god named Arion. Doing some research we found two results. An Horse gifted with speech who was believed to be a child of Poseidon and Demeter and may or may not have had a human like form, and a myth about Arion and the Dolphins. Looking at it now with the knowledge I have I believe these “imaginary” friends were my first draw to gods outside of what I was raised to know.

“What are you wanting to do as an oracle?”

A: My only real goal with being an oracle is to do what I’m already doing. Helping others connect to the gods and find themselves within their journey through this path, whether it’s for life or only a short period. 

“Do you believe in all the myths?”

A: Eh? See these myths have been told for centuries and translated and passed down through word of mouth, which we all know is a game of telephone. So yes and no. There’s no myth that I’ll be like “this has never happened! How dare you think it did!” I don’t know. I wasn’t there for it. But at the same time I wasn’t there so for all I know someone decided to tell a story one drunken night and it was spread like truth. I believe we should take the myths with a grain of salt. No matter what they are amazing stories about the gods that I love dearly and it shows many sides of them. Which is simply amazing to me. If they happened or not they provide a glimpse at history and the lives my beloved gods may have lived. For that I love all the myths dearly. Believe them fully without doubt? I can’t say yes, but I do believe that at least pieces of the stories hold truths. 

“How did you family react to your choice?”

A: So i was born and raised Catholic. I was baptized and had a holy communion and the whole nine yards. However neither my mom or dad really cared when I announced I didn’t want to be catholic or when I announced I believed in the Greek gods. My dad was a realist and told me point blank it was probably best not to bring it up in conversation with some family members and my mom “cheered” me on. She kind of doesn’t understand it and often asked me to “ask my goddesses for prayers” when something happens. Like if someone is in the hospital and my grandma starts a prayer line in her church. My mom thinks it works the same way with my gods and I often have to explain that my gods don’t really “answer prayers”. then she gets confused and its a whole explaining that offerings need to be made and they may or may not take interest and that really I doubt a catholic family member wants me asking my “barbarian” gods helping them. Outside of my immediate family I got mixed reactions. My very Catholic, church going grandmother supported me. She understood that everyone thinks differently and let me explain to her the bare minimal just to assure her it has nothing to do with “satan” or “devil worship” and has told me many times she is proud of what I do. My uncle isn’t too keen on it He still loves me and has been the most active family member in my life, but that’s only because when I was 16 me and him were stuck in a care for 3 hours driving to my dad’s and we had nothing but to talk things through to do. I explained where I was coming from, why I believed in my gods, and that in no way does this mean I don’t respect his beliefs or believe my gods are the only gods. He did try to convert me back, but quickly realized I made this choice with knowledge on my side and let it go. Everyone else either doesn’t care or has never cared for me enough to actually ask about my life. 

“What was the deciding factor for you”

A: A lot of you who are still on the fence ask me this. What made me go “yes this is my path”. The answer? Well to be honest it had nothing to do with the gods. I love my gods and they helped me find the religion and are helping me through it. But what was the final factor was the morals and beliefs lined up with mine. The belief that the world changes and we need to keep our minds open and allow for philosophy and science to explain things. The belief that we all play a host-guest relationship at all times and should respect it at all times. The belief that yes we have gods and they will always be better than any mortal, but they still have flaws. They still make mistakes and learn and grow. They aren’t all knowing or all powerful. One single god can not rule all by himself. There is always balance. Always multiple powers playing in to make our world and our gods grow. That’s just so amazing and beautiful and made me reveal in the fact that this is the path for me. this is where I fit. In a religion that is equal parts pure belief and cold hard science. In a religion that has something for everyone. Where no one isn’t good enough. Where no life choice or way of being is faulted or looked at as not good enough for our gods. In a religion where you can be a strong minded woman, a proud gay, stunning gender fluid, black, white, yellow, male, female, trans, confident, shy, mentally stable, or fighting an unseen battle. It doesn’t matter because there is a god or goddess who will love you for who you are and there are others who are like you or who are your exact opposite and still adore you and see you as someone deserving of the gods and their love and acceptance. That beauty right there is what made the final choice easy.

[kayejwrotes]

Half-Italian Iwaizumi headcanons

These were inspired by lovely @aira–elenabarilliart and @latestphase that fueled my secret love for half- “insert not Japanese nationality” Iwa.

- His mom comes from Lombardia, land of incredibly good food and contradictions. She was an Oriental Studies university student that ended up falling in love with the Very Handsome and Exotic™ exchange student, namely Iwa’s dad. They fell in love and, in the end, she decided to follow him back to Japan, where Hajime was born.

- She’s from Milan, but of Bolognese descents. Not the pasta, but as in part of her family comes from Bologna, a city Dante named “la grassa, la dotta, la rossa” (the fat, the savant, the red) for very precise reasons, but what it’s interesting to us it’s the first name, “la grassa”. Why? Because Emilian cooking is rich, hearty, and very very tasty. Of course, Mama Iwaizumi taught his son everything she knows about it. And she knows a lot.

- Since Hajime was a kid, she made sure to have him around whenever she cooked. She started to involve him in the cooking process bit by bit, teaching him how to do pasta, how to do risotto, mixing with him traditional Japanese dishes with typical Italian techniques. Sometimes the results were good, sometimes were not, but they always had fun together. Cooking in time became one of their things.

- Surprisingly, Italian and Japanese culture share a fair amount of similar traits. Respect your elders, value family and work, respect your parents and be grateful for them, so there were never educational conflicts in the Iwaizumi’s household. 

- Also, if not for his slightly darker complexion, Hajime doesn’t look in the slightest like his mom. He’s the younger version of his father for which his mom is really grateful for mainly two reasons: her husband is really really handsome, and her son never had to face any form of discrimination through school. 

- They moved next to the Oikawas soon after Hajime was born, when Oikawa’s mom was in the last stages of her pregnancy. The two mothers soon became friends and bonded over the journey through their maternity, so Hajime and Tooru have known each other since the very first moment.

- Tooru loves Mama Iwaizumi. She made sure to always give him extras to take home with him, whenever she cooked something Italian. Let’s just say Tooru made sure to ask Hajime every day about what his mom was making for dinner.

- Despite what one could expect, Hajime’s favourite dish his Oikawa’s mom agedashi tofu. Mama Iwaizumi still doesn’t know how his son came out like that. Unbelievable.

- Obviously, Hajime had the best bentos while growing up. Sometimes they were very traditional (rice, vegetables, chicken), but other times - other glorious times, Makki would add once in high-school while seeing Iwa’s lunch -  it was full Italian leftovers power. His mom would tell him to take his “schiscetta” (literally, lunch made of leftovers in dialect). Lasagna, pasta al ragù, risotto allo zafferano, torte salate, whatever was left from the previous dinner was his. 

- Once, he took all the leftovers at school and shared with Oikawa, Makki and Mattsun. Mattsun brushed away a tear of happiness at the sight of tutto quel bendiddio. (Yes, Hajime taught them some Italian expression like this one).

This is becoming really long, so I decided to put a “read more” and let you enjoy the rest like this.

- Hajime speaks a bit of Italian because his mom made sure to talk to him also in her own language, but he isn’t that good at it. He can hold simple conversations in it, but he usually gets genders, numbers, and verbs wrong, since many of those he can’t associate them to Japanese grammar.

- Despite not knowing that much of Italian, he made sure to learn one or two things that he knew would come useful in time.

- “Pirla”. It’s one of those typical Milanese words that could have thousands of shades, depending on which tone they are pronounced. If your mom says “pirla” to you, while laughing or smiling really soft, you probably did something stupid, bit she has already forgiven you and kinda finds you amusing. If she shouts it at the top of her lungs while driving right after a car cut her street, she is probably insulting the other driver really badly. Funnily enough, the real meaning of this word means “to go around without purpose”.

- He tried “pirla” a few times against Tooru, whenever he did something stupid, but after a few tries, he found out “cacchetta” worked better. That’s where the famous “shittykawa” was born.

- But he made sure to learn other words too. He went only once to Italy, during the summer of his ten years, but he stayed there for one whole month, visiting the country up and down with his grandparents, uncles and cousins.  Talking was difficult but he found a special understanding with his nonna over the right way to make tagliatelle. During their cooking sessions, the classical “ Ma la fidanzatina?” (”What about girlfrends?”) came out, and Hajime didn’t answer at first, but after a while he asked how could he tell someone he liked that he loved them. She stared a him and then answered saying that if he really wanted to tell something like that to a special person, he had to be sure they were “The One”. In Italian we don’t have gender neutral terms to refer to someone, so she first told him “a person” but after that she asked him to let her know, when he “glielo dirà”. “Lo” refers to a male object of the sentence.

- Hajime had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with his best friend around the age of 13. He still called Oikawa “cacchetta” but you could almost feel the fond but exhasperated tone whenever he told him. 

- The first time he let the word “amore” slip through it was their last day before high school graduation. He had wanted to try it with Tooru near, but without making him notice what he was doing. He had waited until his friend had fallen asleep on the couch, or so he thought, and muttered the word in the silence. Nothing happened, but he felt a sudden rush of embarrassment at the thought that yes, he had just called “love” his best friend, because he was in love with him, even though the other didn’t suspect anything about it. He wanted to say it another time, just to get that feeling of “righteousness” again, but Tooru had shot up on the couch before he could say anything and Hajime had to cover up the sudden closeness with an excuse. 

- In the end, Oikawa had heard everything that night, but since  Hajime didn’t seem ready to have any talk about it, he just let things go on like that.

- It was in the end of their third year of university that Oikawa crumbled and left a very dumbfounded Hajime alone for spring break and went home straight to talk with Mama Iwa about her “coniglio” of a son that preferred to go on as if nothing had changed between them instead of facing his feelings.

- When he went home after some days, his plan was put into action. “Hajime’s a very proud and strong boy. He faces everything head on, except when it comes to feelings” she had told him “You have to trick him, Tooru caro.” He had two possibilities here: be sneaky and subtle, and have him crumbling until he confessed his feelings for him ( a very italian thing Mama Iwa had told him. No one ever wanted to confess first), or face him right away as soon as he put his feet inside their door. Luckily for them, Tooru was a very Japanese man. Or probably, just very Tooru.

- One of the first trips they took after getting together, was to Italy. Hajime was literally brimming with exctiment at the idea of Tooru meeting his Italian family.  He couldn’t stop telling him of that one uncle who once took him to the horse races when  he was there that summer, or how he and his nonno had gone around for the Emilian country stealing ripe fruit from the trees of his neighbours when he was ten. He remembered everything about them from the frequent calls on skype. He also remembered what his nonna had told him all those years ago.

- When he presented Tooru at his nonna she just asked him “E’ lui?” and Hajime told her “Sì, è lui, nonna”.  Tooru caught bits and pieces of their words, the heavy accent of the old woman too difficult to understand for him, but he believed he understood something when the little woman’s arms closed around his torso in a bone crushing hug, kissing him on both cheeks. “Benvenuto in famiglia!”

[stretchjournalemerson]

Turkey Run Inn

By Audrey Iocca - 

Before my parents divorced, there was a place we used to go as a family once a year, every year: Turkey Run State Park. It is a small forest preserve about two and a half hours from where we lived in Illinois. It has a few good hiking trails, an adorable inn, two horses, and a river. This random state park on the edge of Indiana was a place of tradition for us, one of very few places our family had. My grandma was taken to this place as a child; camping, hiking, and playing in the river were cheap ways to entertain farm kids. And when she was old enough to need a cheap way to entertain her farm kids, she took my mom and uncle there. And then, as the cycle goes, my mom took my sister and me.

But it never felt cheap. It never felt like we were doing this to save a little bit of cash. It felt like an adventure.

Looking back, everything in my childhood was like an adventure. When I was young, I grew up on a lot of land, like my mom and grandma before me; 11 acres of grass and a pond was my backyard between the ages of 0 and 10. My sister, Isabel, and I would saddle up on our John Deere battery-powered mini truck and ride out as far as it would take us, or until my parents yelled that they couldn’t see us anymore. We would ride it down to the dock on the pond, lay on our stomachs, and look down at the blue-green fish swimming around, sometimes even dragging our fingers through the murky water that often needed cleaning. When the pond got particularly green, my dad would haul out the little faded blue, tin rowboat. Occasionally, he would take us on the pond, fashioning us with bright orange life vests before he began to tell us the wonders of the world beneath the moss. It was in this rowboat that I first learned about tadpoles and schools of fish, all while my dad sprinkled pond moss remover into the water.

Once a summer my parents would take us across the land bridge to the other side of the pond where the blackberry bushes were hidden. It was something that became tradition over the years: going across the bridge, picking the blackberries, putting them in little baskets. There was nothing better than tilting my head back in anticipation as my mom picked one off the top of the bush before dropping it into my awaiting mouth; it was a blackberry paradise. We felt like Mary and Laura in Little House in the Big Woods, the girls we heard about every night from our mom’s lips before bed.

I never realized then that this was a love project of sorts, our upbringing. I imagine my mom and dad planning this life for us, my mom making the apparitions of her nostalgia come to life through this house that was as close to the farm as she could get. And yet, there is a point where nostalgia is not enough; the gaps in life experience begin to fall in on themselves and suddenly, they need to be filled.

At one point, my mom stopped being at the house with us all the time. My mom no longer chased us through the peony and rose gardens on September afternoons; she watched us become a two-man band from the screened in porch as she scribbled away in her college-ruled notebooks. My mom going back to school was something I didn’t understand when it was happening, and so my memories of this time are very fuzzy: I see the textbooks on her bedside table, I smell more of my dad’s cooking in the kitchen, I hear my parents voices gradually rise each time they fight, I feel the rough fabric of her black robe and play with the tassel on the fancy flat hat. I don’t think my mom regrets being a stay at home mom, but I do think she would have done things differently. She wouldn’t have had her first kid at 22. She wouldn’t have gotten married twice. She would’ve had more of her own life. And I don’t blame her for that. I think she wanted to get far away from that place; she needed to see what else was out there.

***

When I was ten, my parents separated. And when I say separated, I really mean separated. My mom moved Isabel and me to Skokie, Illinois--a Chicago suburb over 200 miles from my hometown where my dad stayed. He got a job as an account tech with the state, sold the house and the land, and opted for an apartment closer to the mall. Just like that, our blackberry paradise was gone.

Our new claim to a half acre hardly felt like an upgrade, but my mom insisted we were on to bigger and better things. She worked part time at the park district as a receptionist for a year before being able to put her MBA to use at the local mall. It was about a ten minute drive from our house. In fact, nothing was more than ten minutes away: the grocery store, my middle school, the bank, the mall, the orthodontist, my friend’s houses. It was like a third grader’s drawing of their street in art class, everything in that town was packed together like the charcoals they would have used to color the picture in with. While there were trees and some parks sprinkled in throughout, Skokie was overwhelmingly gray.

Martin F. Peccia Park was the greenest place I could escape to with my friends. It was a half block of grass complete with an unnecessary amount of “no dogs allowed” signs. Laying in the grass with the sun beating down on my forehead, I am taken out of my city for a moment: the birds chirping, the grass prickleing my bare legs, the breeze blowing through my hair. But with that breeze brings the smell of car exhaust and I am brought right back to reality. The park is surrounded by I-94. Commuters whizz past, their horns overpowering the birds and everything else. The highway is visible from the park: only a chain link fence protected us from the insanity of commuter life, a life my mom would join in a few short years. For some reason she wanted this, wanted to prove to everyone that she could make it here, to this polluted daydream.

At this point, my uncle and grandma had moved away from Springfield as well, both settling in Chicago suburbs a little further out from the city. I guess the consensus among the family was that there was more opportunity in Chicagoland: there were better schools, better jobs, better everything, apparently. As a pre-teen, I didn’t really understand the difference between all those “betters.” School was still school, no matter where I was. But now I think I see what they meant.

At Fairview South Middle School, I was in a class of 80 and at least half were not white, if not more. My class at Farmingdale Elementary school was over 100, and I can remember one asian girl and one black boy. I remember one year, the Skokie school district had so much extra funding that we each got five dollar gift cards to Barnes & Noble in the mail. There was a class at Fairview that taught me Latin roots weekly and incorporated the works of Shakespeare and Homer. I was able to test out of Algebra 1 before high school, along with about two-thirds of my class. Spanish was a requirement for seventh and eighth grade. These were all things that I would not have experienced in Springfield, and my mom was well aware of that because she had stayed there her whole life, without being exposed to any of it.

I think, in the end, whether all this was really better or not, it was a better life in my mom’s eyes. Exposure, education, diversity, wealth. I think they were all things my mom had always wanted for herself, things she never got growing up on a farm in the middle of conservative Illinois.

***

One of my best friends at the time was a girl named Julia who spoke Polish at home and English at school. We would sometimes brave a walk home from school together, usually only on sunny days where it meant enough reward for the hassle. To get home, we had to cross the bridge that took us directly over I-94. I was in Dorothy’s tornado on that bridge, desperately clicking my heels three times waiting for it to carry me home. In a whirlwind of fast cars and heavy backpacks, we finally made our way to the other side.

When we didn’t walk home, we always took the bus. There were five of us in the same grade that always took over the back of the bus. I remember one day I was sitting next to Julia while she stared out of the window when suddenly she started slapping my leg excitedly and yelled: “There’s a deer!” Everyone’s heads snapped to look out the window like it was an exotic zoo animal. But it was just a deer. I saw them every day in my backyard where I grew up, and I could not understand their fascination.

***

When we lived in Skokie, we still went to Turkey Run. It wasn’t every year, but we went. It became the place we would beg to stop at on any road trip that went relatively close. It became the place I wanted to bring friends on long weekends. It became the place I thought I was going to get married. It became the place I knew I would take my children one day.

I want to share the journey there with them, the way I know I’m almost there when the curved road turns straight. After what feels like all day, we finally pass the many canoe and kayak rental shacks, the curved road ends, and there is a brown sign with bright yellow generic font reading “Turkey Run State Park.” I want to share with them what is beyond that sign: the magic of the covered bridge and the punch bowl, the family singing “grandma got run over by a turkey” while hiking Trail 3, the feeling of feet sinking into thick mud and reluctantly rinsing it off in the creek, the beauty of wild animals and how even just their sounds would stop me in my tracks.

***

In 2014, my mom moved us again. By then, my dad had bought a house in Springfield, and we had been driving four hours every other weekend to see him for four years. The driving continued as we started new schools in Naperville, IL. Naperville is complicated for me. It was a happy medium of my two very different worlds. It’s a city of nearly 150,000 with many dog-friendly parks, forest preserves, bike trails, ponds, and geese. It also had a real downtown that contained not one, but two Starbucks and had blocks filled with designer stores like Lululemon, Pandora, and Anthropologie. Once I had my license, it was easy to be more concerned with getting a frappuccino after school than riding my bike through the park. I could also now drive myself to either of two train stations that after seven dollars and 50 minutes had me in the heart of the third largest city in the country.

The high school I attended is ranked in the top 20 in the state of Illinois, having some of the best administrators, teachers, and fine arts directors available. It was a rich area equating to ample funding for the district to be able to provide these things to us. I was lucky to live here. Not just lucky--privileged.

This high school allowed me to fill in my own gaps of knowledge. After taking a history class that taught me the beginnings of all the world's religions, I met a girl that actually practiced Buddhism. And a girl who practiced Hinduism. And another girl who spoke Tamil. A boy who spoke fluent Chinese. I was a tutor for a group of English Language Learning who came specifically here from all over the world. I attended the first ever Women's March in Chicago and reported on the March for Our Lives for my school newspaper. By senior year, I had so much in my college portfolio from leadership positions, to volunteer work, to experiences with diversity that I got into Emerson College in Boston and one of the only undergraduate publishing programs in the country.

I don’t say all of this to brag. I say it because it’s amazing to me how different my life would have been if my mom had not made the choices she did, moving us across the state, leaving behind everything she had ever known.

***

The last time I was at Turkey Run, I was learning how to drive. I like to say I first learned to drive on our bright orange lawn tractor, sitting on my dad’s lap at age ten, barely in control of the steering wheel as my dad’s rough and calloused hands engulfed mine, making sure we didn’t crash. We moved before I got to try using the gas pedal. Eventually, I got my permit and had to figure out how to drive a real car with no one's hands to hold the steering wheel but my own.

We were driving back from visiting my uncle in Viginia when we decided to stop at Turkey Run. He had bought a farm out there--one with a house my grandma moved into shortly after its purchase. We figured the park was kind of on the way back, it would break up our 16 hour drive and let us see a place we hadn’t been in years.

After pulling through the gates, my mom and I switched seats, and I could go wherever I wanted within the park grounds. I remember it was bright out and unusually warm for the season, the sun making me sweat through the windshield. Slowly, I pushed on the gas, and we creeped along the dusty road. There was a fork, left bringing us to the inn, and right bringing us to the horse barn. Without much thought I turned right. We quickly passed the horses, all of us rubbernecking to stare at their sleek brown coats shimmering in the afternoon sun. I had never been past this barn though, and so my curiosity took me to where the road soon turned into uneven dirt, right as the shade from the trees swallowed us into their secret wonderland. After driving through the trees for a while, we reached a loop, my mom explaining to me that this is where the campgrounds used to be. This is where she and her brother, her mom and her dad, would set up tents and look up at the stars. I felt a pang deep in my stomach as I gazed out at the dirt patches in the grass and rotted wooden poles that marked each site. We had always stayed at the inn.

***

When I’m missing my childhood blackberry bushes and large expanse of grass, when I’m regretting the money and time I spent at Starbucks, when I’m sometimes wishing that I had never been brought to the city, I imagine my mom riding in the back of her parents car without a seatbelt on, looking out the window as the curved road turns straight. After passing the gates and reaching the fork in the road, I see her watching the lights of the inn fade away as they drive down to the campground.

It is then I remember all my mom has ever been trying to do is give us a life she never had, a life she dreamed of. And I thank her for it.

Acknowledgements

I would like to first thank Professor Kovaleski Byrnes for giving me this call to write. I’m not sure I ever would have attempted memoir if not for this assignment, and I am so grateful that she presented me with the task. I would next like to thank Kayla and Diti for being amazing peer reviewers and encouraging me throughout the whole revision process; your comments and support was more helpful than you know. I would lastly like to thank my mother. She is an incredibly strong woman who would do anything for her children, and I can’t thank her enough for all she has done for me.

[lilac-milk-moon]

Be Proud of Being Different — Sitting Poolside with Radical FIRE

The Sitting Poolside interview series

When people think of retirement, scenes of beachfront homes, rounds of golf, or reading by the pool come to mind. Sitting Poolside is a series of interviews that challenges that notion and other financial misperceptions. The series name pokes fun at the stereotypes, but it’s also an opportunity to discuss people’s real stories and unique insights. So grab a piña colada and pull up a your lounge chair!

About M from Radical FIRE

I am a Dutchie passionate about the Financial Independence and Retire Early (FIRE) community. I want to empower YOU to be financially independent if you choose to be, because everyone can do it! I am taking you on my journey to be FIRE by the age of 35, let’s do it!

Early retirement

Mr. SR (MSR:) From your blog name, Radical FIRE, I know that you’re saving to retire early. What is your vision for your life once you reach retirement?

M from Radical FIRE (MRF): Yes, I’m working towards early retirement for sure. As is also in the blog name, I’m quite radical. I love to go all-in on things.

When I started my career, I went all in and received a promotion within 9 months of starting my career — with a 20% pay raise. I believe your career is your greatest asset, as you will earn a great deal of money in your career that will fast-track your way to any potential financial goals you might have.

I have to deliberately slow myself down. If I don’t slow myself down, I will continue running at 120 miles per hour and burn the candle at both ends. That’s why I think early retirement is perfect for me. I can take on multiple hobbies that interest me, do whatever I want, and still have time left.

I thought about what I wanted to do in (early) retirement. When I reach early retirement, the first thing I would do is travel. I have already seen a some part of the Americas, but I would love to travel the world. I would take my time, ideally together with my partner, and travel the world. Tranquilo. One country at a time, with no deadline for returning. That seems so relaxing to me and would be the perfect way to spend retirement. I am sure that we will find many places along the way that we would love to stay, so we can live in different countries for different periods of time. I love to learn about different cultures, so let’s get it on!

Travel

MSR: On your site you share that you’ve traveled extensively, including studying in the US for a semester and traveling in South America for 4 months. What place that you visited has been the most influential on you? How does travel fit into your life now and for your plans after FIRE?

MRF: Studying in the US for a semester was a lot of fun! I was very much in the student vibe. Partying, drinking, going to Vegas, spending money. I enjoyed my time in California a lot, it was the most relaxed period of my university life.

However, I would say that my trip to South America was more influential. This was really the trip where I had no friends or family to fall back on, a completely different culture, and many people along the way that were teaching me their lessons. I was also a few years older compared to my USA trip, meaning that I was more open to actually expanding my mind and only went back to the party lifestyle occasionally.

In South America I started to find my voice, started to let go of the urge to let everyone like me, and I learned to say no. It meant getting more confident in my own skin, more specifically not compensating for my confidence with spending money. I believe that on that trip, I truly changed. After that trip I took an additional few months to wind down and look for a job, totaling 8 months of mini-retirement.

When working towards FIRE, I will regularly take mini-retirements in order to keep myself motivated and to recharge myself along the way. I need to intentionally slow myself down to prevent me from losing balance. I don’t know how regularly I can take these kinds of mini-retirements, as it depends a lot on my employer. This employer I currently have is very flexible and they’re very happy with me. I expected to go give all in negotiating my mini-retirement, but it went very well and very easily.

After I reach FIRE, I expect to be traveling for quite some time. Just the kind of relaxed, slow travel that allows you to really feel every place you visit before you leave again. Perhaps live abroad, who knows! Life is full of adventure and surprises.

Life on the road

MSR: It sounds like travel is one of the primary goals for your early retirement. I’m interested in some of the logistics you have planned. Will you have a home base of sorts, or will you be traveling indefinitely?

MRF: I am always excited to talk about plans, especially for plans that I love and am looking forward to. I have to admit it’s all hypothetical, I am a dreamer who is thinking all day about what life will be.

Personally I like being free, I like to have the ability to make my own decisions. Be spontaneous and impulsive when I feel like it. Thinking about all this, I am not aiming for a home base in terms of a house somewhere where I want to return to throughout the year. If I am traveling around the world I want to go wherever I want, whenever I want. It could mean that we’re renting a house somewhere for a few weeks or even months, but also moving on from that once we desire to go to a new place.

In terms or way of traveling, I would love to live in a camper for a few months or years. You have the flexibility still, combined with the comfort of having your own little place wherever you go. Right now, traveling really appeals to me, I want to see everything. I can imagine after a few years you may long for a place to stay for a longer period of time. I want to travel for a few years, but I also want to be able to come back whenever I want.

I can remember when I was traveling in South America that it was an amazing experience. After a few months, I need the structure and timeliness of the Netherlands again. Everything is taken care of, you don’t need to worry about anything. I can imagine that the same will happen when I will be on the road for a few years.

Valuing being different

MSR: You mention that you felt that you were compensating for confidence by spending money. What caused you to change, in that respect? What gives you confidence now?

MRF: In South America things were different. You meet a lot of people. Some you see only a few hours, some you travel with for several weeks. The people are so different and so diverse, it’s amazing. That made me feel that I would be accepted, no matter what. Every single person is unique in an amazing way. You don’t want to be like someone else, that would make life utterly boring!

Up until that moment I’ve always classified myself as different — not like the others. I was thinking that was a bad thing. That I needed to be like everyone else. In that moment I gave up on that expectation of myself. I realized that people would accept me. I realized that being different is the most beautiful thing there is, and I should be proud of that.

Since then I’ve realized it’s good to go against the herd. I’ve done what people were expecting of me my whole life – where did that got me? In a job I don’t like, working 40 hours per week. Now I’m pursuing FIRE, I’ve started a blog, and I’m going for a four month mini-retirement with my partner. My life is getting a whole lot better and I’m convinced the best is yet to come!

Growing up

MSR: What was your concept of wealth when you were growing up?

MRF: My parents had enough money to provide for our family, until my father passed away when I was six years old. Even though he taught me some great money lessons, my mom was never really into involving us in the finances. We got our own weekly allowance and that’s about it.

When I was 12, my mom met someone new and we merged households. They joined finances, bought a house in 2008, and a few months later my stepdad lost his job. Meaning that throughout my entire puberty we didn’t have money, at all. My parents couldn’t pay anything for me and I started getting jobs from when I was 13. With that money I could buy the things that I wanted at that age.

My friends got all the things they wanted, and I needed to save for them in order to buy anything. I was thinking that my friends were rich. I didn’t want them to notice that we didn’t have a lot of money, so I pretended for a long time. Buying designer clothes, paying everyone’s drinks, going on holiday multiple times per year. I never wanted to miss out.

There wasn’t any money talk in our household, it was a concept that was mostly avoided. Once my parents’ money situation got so bad that they borrowed money from me, which must be a terrible situation to be in as a parent. That was the moment I decided I never wanted to be like that and dove headfirst into personal finance.

Wealth

MSR: What is your concept of wealth or financial success now? What were the major influences that changed your view?

MRF: Throughout university I also had to provide for myself, which is something that has really learned me the value of money and the value of work. I wanted to say the value of hard work, but I had the most relaxed job at university: I was sitting at the reception desk and was chatting with people entering the building the entire day.

I enjoyed it a lot!

I worked with people double or triple my age, they were earning quite a lot of money because the university is simply a good employer with great benefits in the Netherlands. They were bored during their day, so they were always looking at a new car, new shoes, even a new horse (I swear!).

That was they my wealth view shifted: there are people who are earning a great deal of money, but they’re not wealthy or rich because they spend all their money on stuff. The big change in my view came from Rich Dad Poor Dad, where I learned that it is not how much money you make but how much money you keep. After that, I learned that you should give your money a job to do. Up until then, I would just save money and let it sit in my bank account. Now I’m letting my money work for me through investing in the stock market, Peer-to-Peer lending, and investing in cryptocurrencies.

First wealth was just time, but now I’ve realized that time is more important than money. People who are rich are working 80 hours per week and earning a lot of money. People who are wealthy are working 10-20 hours per week and earning the same amount of money.

Rich vs wealthy

MSR: I love the distinction you make between “rich” and “wealthy”.

What are you invested in now or what do you plan to invest in for the future? How will this help you live more on the “wealthy” side of the spectrum?

MRF: There is a big difference between being rich and being wealthy. I associate being rich with being able to buy many things, working hard, and never having the time to enjoy the things they buy. I associate being wealthy with being able to buy many things, deciding only few things that truly bring you happiness are worth buying, and having time to do whatever you want whenever you want.

At this moment in time I am aiming to be rich, in order to transfer to being wealthy later. I am currently mostly investing in VWRL (Vanguard All World ETF), as this is one of the few Vanguard funds that is available in the Netherlands. I have a few small positions in individual stocks, which is about 5% of my portfolio.

Recently I’ve also started getting involved with Peer-to-Peer lending, where you finance short term loans for consumers via different platforms. As the interest rates vary between 10% and 18%, this can be lucrative business. The risks associated with it are also higher, so I’m aiming to not have more than 20% of my total portfolio invested with them.

If the housing market in the Netherlands has cooled down, I would also love to have an investment property. I would have this managed by a company, meaning that it is mostly passive income for me.

All these investment types do not cost a lot of time to maintain. If the compounding machine will do its work I will transfer to the wealthy side of the equation over time!

Advice

MSR: What do you consider to be your biggest failure or regret?

MRF: My biggest regret is that I didn’t learn to say no earlier. I was living my life saving yes to EVERYTHING. That is fun, for sure, but it’s too much.

I wanted to be friends with everyone, wanted to be at every party, wanted to be at every holiday, wanted to have designer clothes, and more. I am happy that I am not that person anymore, it took a while for me to discover who I truly was and how I could stay true to myself.

I am sure that I wasted SO MUCH money. For example, when I graduated high school, I went on holiday with three different groups of friends. In one summer holiday. Costing me approximately €5,000 in one summer. Let’s say I learned a lot from it, enabling me to save currently 80% of my income year to date.

MSR: What advice would you give someone who is on the path to semi-retirement or early retirement?

MRF: The best advice that I can give someone is: focus on increasing the gap between your savings and your earnings.

Too many people completely forget their savings. I know it’s more fun to focus on your rate of return, but early on in the journey your savings rate is much more important than your rate of return. They think focusing on their savings is boring, but it’s an essential step to increase the gap between your savings and earnings.

Once you have your savings in check, you can start focusing on increasing your income. Try to get that promotion, try to get started with a side hustle, and more.

MSR: M, thank you for sharing your story with us! 

The post Be Proud of Being Different — Sitting Poolside with Radical FIRE appeared first on Semi-Retire Plan.

from Semi-Retire Plan https://ift.tt/317Igqi via IFTTT

[superblyjovialtheorist-blog]

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

"Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

What is the best health insurance plan in Chicago?

I am self-employed and want to get health insurance. I am trying to find the most cost-effective plan with the most service for the lowest price and least hassle.

Im 16 in ireland looking to buy a scooter or waiting 6 months to get a car.?

hey im planning on waiting to get a car but would it b worth it to buy a scooter now. how much would insurance be on the scooter? and ireland with the rain...

How can i find a low cost insurance for my car?what are deductable and premium?

i have a insurance for my car and i want to know if i can pay less for the same coverage (basic or minimum)

Is women getting cheaper car insurance on the basis of their gender illegal?

Is women getting cheaper car insurance on the basis of their gender illegal?

What is Title insurance?

What is it for? any advantages? how will it benefit me?

How much money can I save on my car insurance after completion of the pass plus course?

Give me examples of how much you have saved or a friend or something

Complicated car insurance question?

ok, i am 17 and want to insure a land rover. If i took out my own policy now, it would cost a crazy 3500. heres my solution but i dont know if its legal and/or valid. 1. give money for land rover to my dad. 2. dad buys land rover, so it is technically his. 3. dad takes out insurance policy in his name for the land rover. 4. i go down as a named driver on my dads policy for the land rover ????? is this allowed ????""

Car Insurance Question (regarding insurance)?

Hello, I have an insurance question. Last December, my wife, 2 y/o daughter, & I were involved in a car accident. The other driver was at fault, this was noted on the police report. My wife & daughter both required medical attention. My daughter suffered a broken leg & has since recovered. Unfortunately, my wife's recovery is taking a little longer. She required immediate surgery on her wrist & needs daily physical therapy. Although I have a laywer, car insurance & health insurance, I've had to front enormous amounts of money to cover medical expenses. My health insurance will not reimburse me for expenses. Can I ask my car insurance company to help me out with expenses? They know the other party is at fault (police report says so). I've had to liquidate stocks & savings to make ends meet. I'm now out of money. I was not at fault, yet I'm being punished. Any advice on how to get reimbursed ASAP? My settlement probably will not occur until next July.""

Where can i get some free car insurance quotes?

I'm doing this project on cars and i need to calculate a monthly payment for all 3 cars and i need insurance quotes for all 3. who can i talk to.

Car Insurance in Washington?

I recently moved from California to Washington. Is my California car insurance still valid in Washington? Should I cancel my califorinia insurance and get a Washington one?

Cheapest car insurance companys for 21year old with kids?

Some where that takes into account my situation rather than age. Ta

Texas Car Insurance Questions?

I'm living in Texas for school right now and I've been driving my car which is licensed, insured and registered for Michigan because I'm technically still a Michigan resident. At the same time I'm still paying insurance on a car of mine thats in Michigan for my mom to use. Well, the car that I've been driving here in Texas died on me so I went to a dealership and bought a new car. Now I'm unsure what to do. Do I call my insurance and have them insure it through Michigan again? (But then how would I get my Michigan Plates?) Or because I bought it in Texas, am I suppose to register it in Texas and get the state inspection and then insure it in Texas? I'm so confused. In Michigan, the cars don't need those yearly inspections.. so idk what that is. Also, I'm considering staying here in Texas once I'm done with school..so I feel like that plays a part in my dillemma too.""

If My Mom has insurance coverage can i still get insurance with her if i own my own car?

ok so my mom has car insurance on her car, but she was telling me she registers my car under her name that the insurance will cover me and the car. But if the car is under my name can i still get insurance with her??""

How do you fight with the other party's insurance company?

Hi, my car insurance covers for liability only and now I have an accident with a big truck. The big truck hit my car from the side. We were driving from 2 lanes next to each other and at one point the two lanes combine into one. While I was alittle pass over the truck, it hit me from the side. Their side has no damage since it is a big truck and our side has damaged from the driver side. The police report didn't explain clearly about whose fault it is except it mentions what the two drivers said. I think it is not my fault and the other driver denied it is his fault either. My insurance company didn't help much because we only have liability. Now, the other party insurance company called me and said they can't pay for the damanges since it is both parties fault. Therefore, pay for damanges on our own. Like I said, the other party didn't have any damages. If we have to fix it by ourselves, it will cost over $1500. :-( How should I fight with the insurance company to get my claims?""

Why is car insurance so expensive in the UK?

I'm a 19 year old male with 2 years no claims. I have just come back from the USA where everyone there drives huge engined trucks and cars, including even the 16-year-olds. Fed up with driving a tiny hatchback, I enquire about insuring my Dad's dormant K reg BMW 735 auto LPG which is a really nice cruising car ideal for long journeys. However the insurance companies reject me almost immediately. Why is this the case in the UK? Why am I not allowed to drive a nice car albeit old just because I am young? I'm a keen car restorer and take the utmost care whilst driving, and living on a farm have driven most vehicles, so would not say I was inexperienced. Does anyone know of any bespoke insurers or do I really have to stick to driving a tiny hatchback until I'm 25? It seems as though the whole system is unfairly against me :(""

I'm wondering a car insurance random question?

Hello, my brother has a cheap honda civic like $6 thousand .. He was driving and got in a car accident with a $200,000 dollar car.. The back bumper of the $200k car is wrecked and my brothers car is fine.. He has insurance .. Does the insurance cover everything.? Thanks""

""How much should $25,000 worth of life insurance cost for a healthy 44 year old non-smoker male?""

weekly,bi-weekly, yearly...whatever?""

Health Insurance for Newborn Baby?

I get health insurance through my job but I think I can get a better quote than what they offer if I go about it independently. What suggestions do you all have in terms of a good health insurance coverage? Is it best to have a higher deductible and lower premium or vice versa for a newborn? I want what will be the best for him but the most affordable for us. Thanks! :)

""Silly car insurance cost, why so much?

I am a 40 year old woman who is taking my driving test next week. I have run through some quotes for a car (nothing flash or sporty) and the cheapest I can find is 1450 fully comp. I thought this was some kind of joke but it appears to be true. Why is it so much? I'm not a young person but this has priced me out of affording a car for the foreseeable future. I've just wasted 4 months learning. Why on earth is it so much and why are they getting away with it? It would be cheaper to take the risk and get a fine if I was unlucky enough to be stopped surely? Not going to do that before anyone gets on their high horse but just saying.

How to change Car ownership for insurance?

I just bought used car yesterday(paid completely with cash). In order to add it own to my fathers insurance does the car need to be in his name and if so how do I go about doing it. the car is currently in my name and is it even legal for me to be driving it right now? I remember my uncle telling me something that you are automaticly covered when you first buy a viehicle!

SPEEDING TICKET & CAR INSURANCE: QUESTION?

If my dad drives my car and is not on my insurance and he gets a speeding ticket, does MY insurance go up? I heard that since he's the driver, he gets the speeding ticket and it does not affect my insurance. But then I also heard the opposite. WHICH is true? I live in Canada""

What is the fastest and best looking insurance group 4 or 5 car i can get?

looking for a newer car to buy that is not just quick but looks good.

Life insurance?

Is life insurance mainly to help other people like your wife and kids if you lose your job? My mom started life insurance with us when we were kids and still pays for it. I am 39 and may never get married. Should my mom continue to pay on this policy? I am not real sure what life insurance is for but I don't feel she should continue paying it for me. Please advise me on this.

""Had a car accident , no insurance ?

I got into a car accident and I have expired insurance. I was wondering if I could pay the late fee on my insurance and would they still pay for my car problems. And for it to get out of the car lot. PGAC is closed today

Paying 10k a year for car insurance?

with a great driving record for 3 cars total is that even possible to charge that much. I have been told that if I move to Illinois it will cost that much.

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Health insurance question?

Had COBRA insurance, terminating, looking for health insurance. One health insurance has turned me down. Am on SSDI and have a condition that needs outpatient surgery monthly. Anyone have any suggestions?""

Whats a cool car with low insurance?

i passed my test in january, i'm 20 years old, what would be a cool car with low insurance, my idea of low insurance is somewhere around 1000 to 2000""

""I accidently backed into a car, but the owner doesnt want me to turn it in to my insurance?""

She doesnt have car insurance and is scared she'll get into trouble. Its at least 500 worth of damage. Do i have to pay her out of pocket? I pay insurance for a reason!!! My deductible is only 100, and i dont feel i should pay anymore than that.""

What is the average cost of life insurance?

What is the average cost of life insurance?

Why are my insurance quotes so high?

I live in New Jersey, Plan on buying a 2012 mazdaspeed3. I am 18, which of course will make my policy higher. Currently, my car insurance runs around 300/mo on my parents policy. I cannot join their policy with the new car as it will be registered to me. The following are the rates ive been quoted Progressive - 6 month policy, $5,000 + $1,200 due at start-up Cure - 6 month policy, 6,200 + 1100 due at start-up Liberty Mutural - 6 month - 5200 + 1500 start plymouth rock - 6 month - 2,2009 + 679 start Why are these all so expensive? and why do they only offer me 6 month policies? thanks in advance!""

Motorcycle insurance for a 16 year old?

I was wondering what an average motorcycle insurance rate is for a 16 year old male in VA, good grades, no tickets, i plan on taking the MSF course, no accidents, would drive a substantial amount, play sports (i don't know what really factors into insurance costs, so i just listed some stuff i figured or have heard affects motorcycle insurance)""

How does the insurance company find out about moving violations?

My understanding is that when you get a moving violation (e.g, a speeding ticket), the police or the courts or whoever will notify your insurance company. When your insurance company finds out and finds out about the points that are now on your license, they raise your insurance premium. However, a friend tells me that he's received several speeding tickets, that his insurance company has never found out (meaning no one is notifying his insurance company), and that his premium has therefore never gone up. How is that possible?""

Why do people hate Obamacare so much?

Because of this law, a lot of people are now able to get affordable health insurance. I'm one of those people. I can buy my epilepsy medication at an affordable price. Why do Republicans want to rip this away from me and go back to the way things were before? By the way, I was on my parents insurance before, but I moved out because I needed to be a man and get out on my own. Because of Obamacare, that is much more affordable now for me. Health care was a disaster before this law. What will Republicans do if they repeal Obamacare?""

Insurance (california)?

I'm an international student who goes to college in Iowa. I have a college insurance and I guess it convers most of meetings with doctors. Now, I'm taking 3 months-summer session at University of California. I think I 've heard some stuff that I need to have Californian insurance to stay here. What is this? Is it wrong? Plus, my wisdom teeth is coming out recently. It starts to hurt. Does insurance in America covers dental work?""

What's the best type of life insurance to buy?

Is term better than cash value? or vice versa?

How much would a job delivering pizzas affect my car insurance premiums?

I drive a 1997 Geo Metro. I have no accidents or moving violations on my record. I have been driving since August 2005. I am 25 years old. My October bill was $91.17.

""A car hit our car, but doesn't have insurance.?""

I have liability on that specific car, and comprehensive coverage from AAA on another of my cars. Could I use the comprehensive insurance on my other car, instead of the liability? Also, if not is there any program in California to help us with the loss.""

""I'm a 20 year old girl who has just passed my driving test,whats the best small car for insurance,as I dont kn

The car will be roughly 5 or 6 years old it goes by insurance band levels WHICH i AM LOST WITH

Progressive auto insurance problem !?

I need an opinion on what should i do in this case. 3 weeks ago , as I was driving home , on the freeway , from the truck in front of me fell big peace of ice and hit my car from underneath. Less than 1 minute later i noticed blue smoke behind , luckily there was and exit with gas station right there. By the time i pulled up to the gas station car was barely moving. After staying parked for 20 min , it leaked oil and tranny fluid . I called towing , had them pick the car up , called progressive made the claim. All of that happened in WI near Milwaukee , before i used to leave in Chicago , so I never dealt with progressive from WI. After couple days adjuster came out and gave shop 1100$ to start the repairs , shop diagnosed everything and came to a conclusion that its the transmission leaking because of the damage inside. Adjuster was extremely slow to give shop any kind of approvals to do anything , So after 3 weeks they finally allowed them to take transmission apart , another adjuster came out took pictures , then shop owner want around , called me and said that he will call me next day. Next day shop owner calls me asking if I heard anything from progressive ? I call that guy back , but he went on vacation. Call my first adjuster , she says that the guy who went on vacation concluded that it wasn't related to impact , so they wont pay for anything and I owe 500 for taking down transmission. I called shop owner right away asking if its possible , not being related to impact , he says of course not , otherwise your car wouldn't break after impact. He also said some technical explanation what caused it to break , i just don't know what. he also said that no one ever called him and asked him what was the cause if that. I dealt with progressive in Chicago twice , when i lived there , and i had greatest experience ever , but it seems that in Milwaukee , they are playing games , making me pay , and not taking responsibilities. I figured somebody might know what should I do in this case , I just want them to do what they should do , especially when Im paying 200$ a month.""

Where is the best place to get insurance for my scooter?

i know that scooter insurance runs around 120 a year but all the quotes i keep getting from places like Allstate and progressive are more like 1167 a year. Where is the best place to get comprehensive insurance for my scooter.

What are health insurance claims?

im confused and dont know what health insurance claims are..i need to know its for school i need to know what is it, what is it used for and why...please and thank you!! :)""

Medical insurance makes a difference?

Why is it that when you go the hospital and you dont have medical insurance you are looked down upon even though you do get the medical services required for proper treatment? But when you have medical insurance its like youre treated in your own way with approbation.

Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?

Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?

How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?

How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?

How much does it cost to run your car per month?

Including tax, insurance, petrol etc. What car do you drive? And how many miles do you do a week? Just trying to work out what kind of figures I'd be looking at.""

Am I too young to have life insurance?

The reason why I am asking this question is because some people have told me that I am too young to have life insurance. I am 22 years old getting ready to get married next month and my fiance and I have a 18 month old. I also work full-time making a comfortable salary and I am also in school part-time. I am the breadwinner because my fiance is in medical school. I am looking to save for the long run and cut expenses where I can. I currently have a 401-k where my employer matches me 6%. I currently pay 50 a month for a 400k policy and also have a policy through my employer which is free. I was told that 50 a month for my life insurance is a good price because of my age and could be higher if I smoked and were older. I just need some advice guys

How can I change my insurance plan in Covered California?

I enrolled in Covered California last December. I just realized that I am not happy with my Kaiser plan. How can I upgrade it? I tried to call but I waited on hold for more than an hour and when I was finally able to speak with a representative, she hung up on me. I plan to stay with Covered California but I want to change/upgrade my plan without being kicked out of the system. I am worried because it is only 4 days to the end of open enrollment.""

Car Insurance Help!!!?

k my problem is my parents wont put me under there insurance or let me use theres so i have to get my own car insurance got some quotes and all of them want to charge me 400 to 500 dollars a month its crazy. can you guys help i was researching on how to insure my own car couldnt find anything how can i do that or how can i start my own insurance company so i dont hav to pay these money hungry bastards

Cheap insurance in northern ireland?

I am a 21 year old driver with 3 years no claims bonus and my insurance is still a fortune!!! is there any dealers out there that is a bit better on it??

Age for car insurance?

I have heard that you cannot get your own car insurance policy untill you are 18. Is this true for new york state?

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Parents' health insurance?

If you take a semester off from college, how long do you have until your parents' insurance doesn't cover you anymore?""

What are the requirements for car in surance in the usa states?

I would like to know what kind of car insurance do you need to have in every state.

Do you have to buy auto insurance as a condition of OWNING a car? or DRIVING a car?

If you own an RV and you live in it but you don't drive it.....does the auto insurance mandate apply to you?

Look! Auto Insurance?

Has anyone heard of Look! Auto Insurance based in Michigan? Are they a legit agency? http://www.look-insurance.com/home.nxg

Help in family health insurance in Indiana?

I have a family of 4, My wife and I make about $20,000 a year. Right now, we have to pay $350 a month for health insurance. We already applied for HIP insurance, but it've been 2 years, and they have no positive answers for us. I feel $350 a month is too expensive for us right now, this insurance only pay for us when we have to pay over $10000 at a hospital. For example, if we have to pay $14000 for health, we pay $10000 and they pay $4000 ; anything under $10000, they won't pay. Please help us with our situation, Are there any other options out there. Thank you very much""

Know any good insurance companies that will insure a home under renovation that we're living in?

We bought a foreclosure that needs a fair amount of work. We made it habitable and then moved in so we can work on one room at a time. What insurance company would be able to insure this home without raking us over the coals, even though the home may not be considered complete ?""

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone know where I can get cheap bike Insurance I'm looking for basic coverage on a 650cc Yamaha Maixm I just got my licence in May. I live in Ontario Canada.

Can I still own a car but without insurance?

I'm moving out, my car insurance is at 361.00$ a month now and I wont be able to afford rent and that. Is there anyway to either not have any insurance at all or just some sort of just minimal coverage?""

How much do you pay per month for your car insurance and gas?

How much do you pay per month for your car insurance and gas?

Lowering my car insurance premium by putting my car under my roommate's policy?

I'm 20 years old and I own a car. I pay a lot for my own insurance. But I live with a 25 year-old roommate. Is there anyway I can lower my insurance premium by putting my car under his insurance policy because we live together in the same household. What do I need to do? We don't have the same insurance company and does that mean I have to terminate my current insurance and switch to his company? Or a lot more need to be done? I have no clue. This means big savings for me so please help. Thank you!

Where to Get Free Auto Insurance Quotes online?

I live in California USA. I heard from peoples that its best to have Car insurance Online Quotes free from some trusted online Car Insurance Service. Anyone please help me in getting online cheap motor insurance Quotes for my Car. Regards

""For teens, how much do you pay for your insurance car?""

Without your parents, if you live in New York, Westchester, how much would you pay for your car insurance? Let's say that the car is a Honda Civic 2001 THanks!""

About health insurance....?

If u have 2 health insurances, whatever your primary doesn't cover, your secondary will? My primary insurance sucks, but then i have the Unions insurance as secondary.""

Insurance for a Range Rover Sport?

I'm turning 16 in about two years, and i was thinking about getting a 2010-2012 RR Sport Supercharged. I was wondering how much it would cost for me to get insured. Do you have a range of what it would be around? My parents are already letting me practice driving and stuff. The car would be around $30,000-$45,000. My family is in the upper-middle class. So we're not all that rich. I will be working by that time and paying the car off.""

Where can i get a Tb test in NYC with no insurance?

can i just go to any hospital and pay to get it done?

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone know where I can get cheap bike Insurance I'm looking for basic coverage on a 650cc Yamaha Maixm I just got my licence in May. I live in Ontario Canada.

Insurance for a rental car?

Is your own insurance enough to cover a rental car or should you purchase the supplemental insurance offered by car rental companies?

MINI One for first car? Insurance?

Desperately want a mini for my first car but they're quite expensive - especially insurance! Was wondering the approx cost of insurance on a mini one for a 17 year old after passing, I haven't passed yet so can't get a quote :/ Also, are 2003-4 reg minis more prone to problems & break downs? Loads of people I know have minis so can't be that bad? Or their just wealthy haha""

How much is insurance on a Chevy Camaro?

I'm 20, ill be on the car by myself.the camaro is a 1998, and in great condition.""

Is there any insurance company that accepts sr22 insurance required cdl driver who need just bobtail insurance?

I have sr22 restriction on my cdl. And just bought my truck. Its really hard to find Bobtail insurance some ppl call it non trucking liability insurance because of my driving record or sr22 (I guess its samething). Is there any insurance company or agency out there who might accept?

How much would my little sister's car insurance be?

Can anybody give me an estimate of what insurance on a Chevy Cavalier would be for an 18 year old girl who lives in Colorado? My little sis is in a tight spot cuz my parents aren't helping her with paying for a car or insurance, but she's saved up enough to buy a car and just got a job, and is asking me to help her with insurance which I'm going to try to do, thus the question above. The problem is awhile back she got a ticket for I think it was either wreckless driving or careless driving. She's matured a lot now and all but I know the insurance companies look into things like that. Please help me with an estimate if you can. Thanks.""

How much does insurance cost?

in california? my mother is on a stupid hmo, i was wonderingif i paid for a better insurance if it would get better.""

Question about car insurance?

a friend of mine parked his car in another friends shed.The car was an 18 yrs old golf.The problem is that the car went on fire and took shed and all.When the owner of the shed checked his insurance he had it under insured.My question is though should the car insurance cover the building of the shed and its contents?The grand total would be 23000 euro.The shed and contents were only insured for 3000euro and the car was only insured for 800euro?

What is the cheapest car insurance company in orlando?

What is the cheapest car insurance company in orlando?

Auto insurance: Found Wawanesa cheaper than Mercury?

Anyone in California find that Wawanesa is much cheaper than Mercury. For our two infiniti family the rates for 1 year was WaWa-$1150 vs Mercury ($1,650) What gives here?? Why the big disparity?""

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Whats a good car from the year 1996 to 2002 for a 16 year old boy so that the insurance is cheaper?

Whats a good car from the year 1996 to 2002 for a 16 year old boy so that the insurance is cheaper?

How much would insurance cost for me if I have a Classic Camaro and I am a 16 year old male with State Farm?

I am thinking about getting a classic car. Probably a Camaro (year 1990 and lower). I have State Farm, and I am a 16 year old male. Anyone have a clue about how much insurance would cost? Thank you.""

Massachusetts Health insurance?

Massachusetts Health insurance? I am in fifties and currently living in California. Due to the California high cost of medical insurance, My wife and I are thinking of moving to Massachusetts state, get a small home there and retire there eventually. The reason that we are thinking about is that we overheard Massachusetts have a much lower health insurance cost ($50/month ?). Please advise us if you are currently living in Massachusetts state or other states that have less expensive health care insurance and housing cost. You advise is greatly appreciated. Jo""

What is the best way to market homeowners insurance in Florida?

I m a relatively new property and casualty insurance agent in Florida. There is a perceived homeowners insurance crisis in Florida. Many of the big boys (ie Allstate, State Farm, Nationwide) are not writing any new business, policies are being nonrenewed, and if you're lucky enough to not get dropped, premiums are going up by more than 30% a year. Because of this, the average consumer thinks there's no alternative but pay what your Allstate, State Farm, or Nationwide agent gets you, which is usually a high rate with Citizens (the state run insurance company of last resort). However there ARE several small companies writing policies in Florida with great rates, but the captive agent of the big boys can't write them so people don't really know. I honestly haven't had a single lead who I couldn't save hundreds, maybe more than a thousand dollars a year. But I just don't know how to get the word out. Any ideas?""

Cheap Cars to Insure for 17 year olds?

Hi, I am 17 was was wondering if anyone knows of any cheap cars to insure that they could recommend. Cheers Kieran.. (P.s., if that's OK maybe you could roughly say how much your insurance was or approx how much it would be?)""

How much did you pay for car insurance as a new driver?

....yes......

Will my car insurance premiums increase?

I just got pulled over for the second time in a 7 month period and was given a citation for turning right on no turn on red . Will my car insurance payments go up? How long does it usually take for the insurance company to find out about the citation?

Do I still have to pay car insurance if....?

This is probably a really stupid question, but I'm sixteen, so please just answer... I've had my permit since last September. I've practiced, but my parents won't let me get my license because they can't afford the car insurance. We only have one car anyway. Well, say I were to register a motor vehicle, such as a 50cc moped, which only requires a basic license to use. Would I still have to pay car insurance for my family car if I don't drive it, AND a moped? Or can I stick to paying the motor bike insurance instead? I'm sorry, it's such a stupid question, but I don't know much more about car insurance other than the fact that we can't afford it. Thank you. (:""

Insurance companies that insure homes?

Do not have change&a was wondering insurance companies that will insure my home in Alabama

Anyone know any good insurance?

Does anyone happen to know of any good insurance companies that may help pay for some of the initial tests for infertility?

Why the heck do I have to legally own car insurance? It is unconstitutional!! I should have the right not to..?

buy car insurance if I don't want to. That should be repealed.

Auto Insurance Experts: How much will I be penalized for lapsed insurance due to non-payment (I'm unemployed)?

I have been without insurance for nearly a month now. I have been unemployed for 5 months, but I will start a new job next week! Yay! Since I will start working soon, I will be able to afford to pay again. My car will also be paid off next month. I plan to go with a new company. (I do not have loyalty to the current company.) I used to have a well-known national company for years. When I first lapsed six months ago, my long-time company DOUBLED my monthly premium. I went for a low-budget, local company. Will the new company force me to pay for the time I did not have insurance? Or will I face a penalty? Will they charge me a higher rate? **Believe me, I know that I am taking a terrible risk driving around without insurance. I know that it is illegal...but I have been unemployed for 5 months, and have used the little money I had to pay rent, utilities, my car, groceries for me and 3 kids. I just had no other choice... I just want to be prepared for fees, higher rates, penalties, etc. Can you please give me some advice and suggestions on how to get myself back on track? Thanks.""

""Heres another crock of feces, about car insurance!?""

Apparently I didnt get the lowest rate because I didnt open an account or have a loan before age 25. What the F? does that have to do with the ability to drive a car? Also not because of no history of car loans or leases. Once again, What the F? does that have to do with the ability to drive a car? Also not because I have 2 accounts in good standing. I need more? or less? Once again, What the F? does that have to do with the ability to drive a car? Your company has never paid one dime to me or because of me. YET YOU BASE YOUR PREMIUMS ON NON RELATED ISSUES! F?ING BITE ME, WHAT A BUNCH OF SCAM ARTISTS! No wonder people commit insurance fraud. Because insurance companys F? you all the time. Another good one, recoupment fee. If you get money you have to pay it back. What was the purpose of the insurance in the first place? Now I know why we need billions of gallons of oil so much. Vaseline is a by product.""

Which car has the cheapest insurance?

Audi A4 (Sedan) Audi A6 (Sedan) BMW 3-Series (Sedan) BMW 3-Series (Coupe) BMW 3-Series (Convertible) BMW 5-Series (Sedan) BMW M5 (Sedan) Cadillac CTS Lexus IS Lexus GS Mercedes-Benz C-Class Mercedes-Benz CLK-Class Mercedes-Benz SLK-Class Mercedes-Benz E-Class Mercedes-Benz S-Class These are cars I want to get but my dad said that he wants me to pay for insurance and gas. I want something with the cheapest insurance BUT ALSO on this list.

Car insurance for young driver?

I was wandering if I bought insurance for a car that I own on a provisional, drove it about on the provisional for a bit, then passed my test and told the insurance company that I had done so, would it shoot up to the 5,000/6,000 quotes I've been getting or would it not rise as high because I was with them on a provisional? also any general tips on knocking down the price, it's just ridiculous, it's for a 5 door fiat punto! thanks in advance :)""

What are some safe ways to invest other than whole life insurance?

I understand now that term life insurance is the way to go, and then open up a Roth IRA. We are going to meet with our financial adviser and I would like to do more research, hence ...show more""

What is the price of a mini copper and its insurance?

just wondering what the price of a mini copper is to buy and the cheapest insurance? Details would be helpful Thankx

Is a life insurance that terms at age 95 a good one?

I just reviewed my life insurance and saw that it termed at age 95..I'm not sure if that is good or bad...please help!

Buying auto insurance?

Can two brother's buy auto insurance regardless of if they live together or not?

Aurora Auto Insurance?

Where can I get auto insurance in Aurora? What do you recommend? I bought a car recently and I'd like to find a cheap way to insure it.

How much will insurance cost on a 1973 Dodge Challenger?

I am looking to buy one and its going to be under my parents name so I was just wondering if anyone can give me an estimate. Thanks!

Will the car insurance company pay for the damage or fix my car?

Ok I got into an accident with this lady today and it was all her fault. so my question is, is her insurance company going to pay me money to get a new car, or will they just fix it. the damage pretty bad, the engine makes some weird noises whenever i turn it on/off. what are some tips for not getting ripped off by the company? btw my car is 02 Honda accord. Thanks in advance""

16 year old male car insurance?

Im going to be 16 soon, and my uncle said that I could use his 1968 Corvette. However, I found out about the insurance. My friend said it would be several thousand dollars a month, and I don't believe him. So, what would be the cost of my car insurance(an estimate)? Thank you for your time!""

How much would insurance cost for a silverado?

new one 2010 im 18

Car insurance for a japanese import?

I am looking for car insurance for a japanese import car and I am trying to find companies which will deal with imports and are cheap. I am only 18 so I know that the insurance will be pretty expensive but if anyone has had any experience with imports at this age and can tell me some companies to try that would be great. The car I am looking at is a Mazda mx-3 1.5i . If anyone knows how to get cheap insurance for this I would like to hear from you. It would be cheaper if I was a named driver and could earn no claims discount but I don't know if any of the companies who do that accept imports. Any help or advice anyone could give me would be very much appreciated. Thanks

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

Frametown West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 26623

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/have-you-seen-alternative-proposed-democrat-health-mandate-alvarez/"