#let’s talk horror!
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Congratulations on 800, prinny! I've loved getting to know you and seeing you become a writer. I also love your makeup skills, and it's so fun that we share a love of horror. .b. which brings me to my random question.
What horror movie moment is super hot for you?
Has there ever been a scene where you were like oh shit idk if that's supposed to be hot but I'm here for it?
sorry if I'm off topic
TOXIC!!! Thank you so so much bby!! I really love this question! And you, I love you! Also so on topic! I could talk horror for hours!!
Okay there are a lot of moments lmao but also not necessarily moments but just the characters themselves and seeing them on the screen and next thing you know my pussy has a heart beat Lmfaoo details under the cut
- Pyramid head from Silent Hill. Honestly just seeing him I was like 😳. I want him to throw me over his shoulder and just manhandle me and do ungodly things.
- Texas Chainsaw (2003 specifically) I was like in 3rd or 4th grade when I watched this 😅 probably shouldn’t have been, whatever. But damn does he do it for me. I really like em large and in charge 😋
-Predator. Yes Predator. Love all of the movies but Predator 4 (with Boyd Holbrook 😉) I fucking loved when they all thought he was this big creature and then the bigger one came out and the smaller one was fighting him and yea it got me going.
-House of Wax. Bo Sinclair. Enough said. I vividly remember he poured wax over the girls mouth and then kissed her 🥵 (my brain is making me second guess myself but I still see this scene in my head lol)
-okay this one is probably odd lol so Tim curry’s It terrifies me. I do not fuck with his IT. But Bill Skarsgards IT I wanna fuck. Bad. I am into that clown. I loved the scene where Beverly saw the flashback of him and it was his human face (I believe it was when she was at the old lady’s house) fucking loved it.
- My bloody Valentine (2009) good god I’d go into those mines for Tom (Jensen ackles) and the scene where he’s chasing them in the store and they try to hide in the back office whew.
- The Boy. When I first saw this I did not see the plot twist coming and great googly moogly I want to tear Brahms ass up. I want to dom tf out of him. He’s so subby and such a sweet creepy little stalker.
There’s def more but I’m blanking for whatever reason lmao I’m also realizing I watched a lot of these horror movies at a very young age 😅
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when birth is depicted as body horror, as an act of violence
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I won’t be the only person in this hellsite who is obsessed over horror killer mermaid stories and then constantly die inside when not only there is a severe lack of that sub genre, but also when amongst those few these two mfs are one of the few ones that actually have good compelling stories, and I’ll make sure of that!
#mermaid#mermaid book#mermay#it’s too late but who cares#book recs#mira grant#seanan mcguire#merfolk#books#horror books#horror book recs#mermaid horror#let’s not talk about the sequel that willl probably never see the light of day if i think about it too much ill cry#ma stuff#sorta#lgbt books
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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There’s something horrifyingly beautiful about Tess’s final moments. In the midst of the most dire chaos, as she waits for her death to come rushing past so she can blow it sky high and give cordyceps a big fuck you one last time, one of the infected stops. It looks at her, really looks. Her own mortality is personified in this infected. It’s death that’s looking at her, and it sees her. She looks her own death in the eye, and the suspense is so high as it approaches. But then, it doesn’t bite her throat out like we all expect it to.
It kisses her. What’s more, it kisses her gently. And I think it was a brilliant choice on the writers part, because it reminded me that the infected aren’t supposed to be evil. Sure, they’re scary as hell, but really, they’re just trying to survive. They’re connected to one another, they can feel each other from miles away. They seek out and want to be close to their own kind, just like the human survivors do. And when they do find each other, they kiss hello.
And after so long apart from a loved one, someone you know and trust with every instinct in your body, wouldn’t you want to kiss them too?
#okay that’s enough posting for the night but I’m sure I’ll have more dumb little thought’s tomorrow#I still wanted to talk about how Tess let’s it kiss her in her final moments. Like it’s one last intimate moment she lets herself have#before she dies. but that’s a post for another time#something something recognizing yourself in the other something something transitioning from one family to the next through death something#something.#anyway rip tess#anna torv i love you you slayed#tlou#tlou hbo#tess tlou#joel miller#ellie tlou#tlou spoilers#the last of us#tw body horror#just in case#I’d also like to bring up that this is an interpretation. obviously the kiss was for shock factor. i’m just having fun analyzing it
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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this game is rlly funny to me at times.
#fear and hunger termina#fear and hunger#daan#fear and hunger daan#fear and hunger karin#karin sauer#daanrin#daarin#genuinely giggled at this in my game cuz yea lets be afraid of heights with the horrors right next to us😭#can you tell i spent my last run party talking everywhere#olivia fear and hunger#marina fear and hunger
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noel: *starts talking about the horrifying, manipulative ruler of the dreamlands, the Great Old One Who Will Drive You Mad*
arthur, john, and the entire audience:
#he started talking and I was like “yeah yeah babygirl we know let's elaborate on WHY”#like I'm so glad you survived the Horrors but sir why the FUCK did the king want your ass#what did you do sir I need to know#malevolent#malevolent pod#malevolent podcast#noel malevolent#detective noel#an eldritch being and his wet cat
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youtube
IT IS FINALLY DONE!!! my 5 minute* oc animatic about a robotgirl** with meat in it!
Please check it out! (+some frames I like under the cut)
and of course,
*(it's 4 minutes and 51 seconds)
**(she's working on it)
#fruitart#cw body horror#cw gore#animatic#oc#oc animatic#oc art#meatguy tag#mark tag#eyeguy tag#does samuel have one. um.#samuel tag#i could go on about stuff im dissatisfied with... but i won't! because im happy its actually done!#please please please hype me up.... if you want to.....#anyway. um. ill probably talk more about it in a rb..... but#Also! if you spot any issues with subtitles or anything Please let me know! thanks!#also... yeah idk.. sorry about the thumbnail i dont know how youtube crop works. watch my video boy#Youtube#imgonna be So annoying abt this for like. 2 weeks.#cecil tag
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HORRORTALE BOOK TWO GUYS HORRORTALE BOOK TWO JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS THIS IS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
#sour apple studios HAS to be santa THERES NO WAY#IM SOOOO HAHAHSGAHSHSIAOAPSPFBF E HORROR CRUMBS PLEASE LET THERE BE HORROR CRUMBS#PELSAAAAAASEEEEE PLEAAAASE#OMG ECHO FLOWER WHERE HORROR HEARD ALPHYS AN UNDYNE TALK CAN WE SEE IT OR NOT#I WANT TO KNOW I NEED TO JNOW#AND IN JUST A COUOLE MONTHS TOO DAMN?????? LAST PAGE WAS LIKE IN JULY#IT ONLY TOOK 5 OR 6 MONTHS????? HELLO?????? SAS YOU ARE A LEGEND??????#SIAHAHHHH IM CRASHING OUT IM CRASHING OUT#MTT FANS MTT FANS THIS IS WHY HORROR IS PEAK HIS AU STILL GETS UPDSTES WERE EATING GOOD TONIGHT HORROR FANS#tricule rant#YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YEAH WERE TAGGING THIS#horror sans#murder time trio#horrortale#buubonita. thank you for this information. shakes hand. only real horrortale fans will get it
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Another Otsutsuki?!
we’re messing up the timeline for this one. (I lost this crack idea but then it came back… the abyss stare back and I jumped in.)
anyways, now some kids meeting the new kid
Panel 1: There’s something wrong here.
Comic 1: Attention.
they’re both in the same boat
Comic 2: Day Off (with confusion.)
he just a little insecure,, (kakashi still told him to get it together)
back to the future now
Comic 3: What. (huh?)
Panel 2: very tiny.
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#obito uchiha#rin nohara#toneri otsutsuki#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#creating silly posts pumps my brain#kid obito had immediately had distrust of the new kid#and couldn’t even explain why so he stood there glaring#obito looks at kakashi 20 years later after Toneri admits defeat with “I TOLD you he’s was weird“#kakashi after getting back to earth promptly puts obito in jail#ALSO when I saw Toneri for the first time his design is so neat!#I haven’t watched the movie so I read the description of the guy to have an idea of him#what I got is that Toneri is unhinged too ANYWAYS moving on#Toneri ends up noticing Kakashi white chakra and follows him with curiosity#Kakashi’s ends up choosing not to be jerk lets him stick around as long as he isn’t in the way#toneri takes a bit of insult because even if he’s missing eyes he’s definitely not weak#so showing some skills without destroying his disguise he ends up impressing kakashi#while kakashi talks with him and offering advice and asking him if he wants yo try anything else#he doesn’t know but Toneri immediately in his mind claims kakashi has his#this post could’ve absolutely gone from silly to psychological horror#like real quick haha#imagine the joke was just kakashi going through more issues 😭 the punchline is that there isn’t one
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Excuse me but... can I say I'm obsessed with how you draw Horror 🥲
Like... he's big and thick boned but... he also looks smooth(??) Like the way you draw his brows and the shape of his eyesockets and eyelight (and the color) like 😳😳😳
The way he grins!! Jus everything uwaaa/// he's so handsome o(-(
(sorry for this ask dhdjdhfj)
HHHHHHH YESSS HIM HIM
I'm so delusional about him, he comes out that way!
I know, I know he's supposed to be scrawny and sharp and all roughed up but- I can't help but dream of him looking... healthy? Nice? All soft and smiles cuz that's what he deserves in my head.
Imagine how he'd look in a world where he found happiness. He knows he's safe and overcame most of his issues so he regained some of his old confidence and- and has nothing to worry about except reminding himself to tell you how much he loves you cuz he's worried he forgets to tell you when he wakes up but he does tell you and show you every day with everything he does, with his face when he looks at you, with the care he holds you, with his voice when he says your name-
HHHHHHHHHHH you can see I'm not normal.
#don't apologize for loving him#he already apologizes enough#or- well- the one in my head does hdjjdjdjjd#HHHHHH I CAN'T STOP SQUEALING CUZ OF HIM#lets squeal together 1 2 3-#oh yeah glad you like him in my art style too ufjdhfj#I'm just happy to pour my soul into him#5am talks#horror sans
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cross and horror !!!
they care so much for each other—i know cause they told me
BIGGEST HC IS THAT SKELETONS CAN PURR BTW !!! ITS SO FUXKING CUTE AND MAKES ME HAPPY GAHGH
#moomewart#purring skeletons#before they started making out#cross was talking about anime#horror couldnt help himself#cross is just adorable#let him be the nerd he is#i beg#undertale au#sans au#utmv#utmv fanart#bad sanses#cross sans#horror#horrortale#cross x horror#horror x cross#bad sans poly#eventually ill draw them all together#its just a lot of work#horror sans#xtale sans#xtale cross#they need more love i think#implied ship#if you know my nightmare hc#wink wink
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WHERE MY IB ENJOYERS AT‼️‼️‼️
#art#my art#ib#ib game#ib mary#ib garry#ib fanart#ib art#video#illustration#fanart#if u like rpgm horror games PLEASE lets be best friends#need someone else to talk to ab them
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I am re-reading the Silmarillion, and something strikes me. The women of Tolkien's world have been talked about TO DEATH especially with all the recurring debates surrounding the Rings of Power series.
As we all know, Tolkien was not a "feminist" in the modern sense of the word. He had a very male-centric point of view and appreciation of the world, he had male-driven and male-centered stories, and actual women characters were sparse and rare. There are only five really big female characters in "The Lord of the Rings" - the quintet of Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. [No, don't talk to me about Arwen, she only really was a character in the movies, in the book she's just there in the appendix and she was literaly an afterthought of Tolkien to act as Eowyn's romantic double...]
Consider this. Galadriel, Eowyn, Goldberry, Lobelia and Shelob. This tells you everything you need to know about Tolkien's women, in good and bad.
The Silmarillion has the same motif of having a lot of female characters, only for most of them to be just footnotes, secondary characters with no lines, under-developped one-liners... with in a contrast a handful of super-cool, super-badass, complex and developed heroines at the center of the plot.
Aka, on the bad side, when listing the Valar, while Tolkien gives an interesting personality, great domains and cool attributes to all the male ones, half of the female ones are just... there. And do one stuff. And never appear again. I mean come on... Vana and Nessa? Estë and Vairë were done dirty... That's the actual type of "non-feminism" Tolkien has. It isn't about him hating women or trying to be offensive in his depictions - it is about him just, not putting as much thought, effort and care into his female characters as his male ones, a bit the same way he creates the vast expanses of the East and South of Middle-Earth and then never bothers actually developing more of it or seeking to tell tales of it - but that's for another discussion about Tolkien's "racism". Here we talk about women.
But here's the thing, aka the good side... When Tolkien does find the time and care to develop and flesh out a female character, by Iluvatar he goes all out! Again, we are back on what I said earlier: the women of Lord of the Rings can be counted on one hand... but these fingers are Galadriel, Eowyn and Shelob, so you can't claim he isnt writing powerful, important or uninterestng female characters. Which leads me to my original remark - as usual I get driven away in digressions of all sorts and kinds.
Have you ever noticed that Melkor's greatest enemies, the ones he fears the most, and his most effective foes... are women? Tolkien might not like to put them front and center of his tales, and he might have been a man of the early 20th century England in culture and mind, but boy does he has something to say about how women are actually the first enemies of the literal embodiment of evil and destruction! I mean think about it. Varda of the Stars, and Yavanna of the trees. Nienna has her ambiguous relationship to him - her tears work against him, and yet without her plea for him he likely would not have been released from the dungeons of Mandos. You have Melian with her Girdle, and Luthien with her Hound. And of course most of all Arien, guardian of the Sun, not only one of the rare fire spirits that Melkor couldn't corrupt (despite him basically ruling over all fire), but that frightens him so much he keeps hiding away and doesn't even dare to attack her... [I also reblogged some times ago a post praising the brilliance of Tolkien keeping the old European sun-moon motifs but switching the genders. The weaker, inconsistant, lustful, whimsical, disorderly, untrustworthy Moon is now a male principle, while the steady, dangerous, strong, powerful and beautiful Sun is a woman.]
It is actually REALLY easy to do a feminist retelling of Tolkien's work. Melkor doesn't fear Manwë as much as Varda. Aulë's works and servants get corrupted by Melkor, while Yavanna's do not. Melian and Luthien actively works against him. He friggin' pisses himself when the Woman of the Sun shows up. Sure, there are some evil female characters that serve him down the line and are relegated to the "obscure footnotes and undescribed secondary characters" zone - Thuringwethil the vampire or queen Beruthiel. I coul also dropped deleted characters from early drafts, like the ogress Fluithuin. But among them stands Ungoliant... THE only true female big bad on the dark side of Arda. THE badass, nightmarish, creepy eldritch abomination. And who ends up double-crossing Melkor, almost KILLING him, and again making him basically shit in his pants - as Varda and Arien do.
The first enemies of Morgoth are not the Valar, or the Maiar, or the Elves... It's women.
#Huh... there was this woman. She had a name. Was hot. She weaved. And that's it moving on she is not actually relevant.#she's just here to ornate the text.#tolkien's legendarium#lord of the rings#silmarillion#the women of tolkien#feminism in fantasy#melkor#morgoth#seriously when you start looking at the world Tolkien created you actually can have SO MUCH FUN#i am a bit sad everybody keeps using the same analysis#the same points and the same angles over and over again#when it is clearly more open and under different lenses can become sometimes something much cooler than what people make it sound to be#i am sorry but the silmarillion sometimes sounds like a “feminist fantasy” as we can understand it today#it literaly sometimes is a glorious hymn of how the things evil fears the most and the only people who put a stop to the scheme of the devi#were women#who were queens and heroines and enchantresses and goddesses and princesses and warriors and the sun and eldritch horrors forever hungry#j.r.r. tolkien#tolkien talk#lotr#but let's be honest A LOT of other times it is just
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One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.
(Buckle in. This is a long one.)
In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.
As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.
Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.
This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.
I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.
But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.
So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.
But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.
But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.
It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.
He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)
So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.
But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.
(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)
#something something hope is a weapon hope is a discipline hope is a garden to cultivate!!!#HE'S SO GOOD HE IS TRULY EXEMPLAR OF THE WHOLE PHILOSOPHY OF THE NEIN AND I DO NOT THINK THAT'S AN ACCIDENT#truly just like. enormous proponent of letting trust and curiosity into your heart regardless of the horrors.#it's hard and it makes you more vulnerable and sometimes it hurts so so much but it will also save your fucking life!#cr spoilers#critical role#essek thelyss#cr meta#I was gonna apologize for the length but I'm not sorry. I'm also not sorry for being insane about him but he's so special to me.#head in my hands he's so GOOD HE'S BEST BOI! GUIDING LIGHT NORTH STAR!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!#also truly if i had two nickels for a span of time with no essek sightings where I wrote a lot of fic#with deliberate personal acknowledgment that I was writing some pretty maximal arcs for him in terms of character growth#and then end up getting essek for half an episode and having to go OH WE'RE GOING THAT FAR ACTUALLY. FUCKING INCREDIBLE.#yanno. two nickels. but good lord I am thriving that it's happened twice#augh this is ONE of the pieces I need to write this week. we're not gonna talk about it
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