#let’s just say that they are based off aligned versions of them

[ohblushblushblush]

🌆"The Rainy Evening" 🌧️

Quick note: this little work is a part of my Human!AU, I posted a couple of different headcanons on it, but never actually wrote anything till about a couple of months ago! If you have any questions on it, feel free to ask, I am always happy to answer :D

This day was rainy and cold, just as about every other autumn day. Soundwave didn’t mind the weather, as long as he is somewhere warm and dry, but today he was not having any intentions on staying neutral on a topic. He was on his way from work by foot, unfortunately, his umbrella was left behind in the morning, he was leaving urgently, his team was working on this case file for their top competitor, and they had a huge breakout! Well, turns out, being in a too much of a good mood can result in as much a mess as in a bad one. He crossed the street to an apartment complex and entered. Lobby was full of nice and expensive aromas, it kind of reminded Soundwave of his childhood: smell of new apartments, expensive hotel rooms; inevitably distant memories started to emerge, he tried to shake them off.

Living in this building was a necessary measure, their house was being renovated, after a couple of years of it being their only residence, a need for a basement and a room expansion appeared, so now being in a house full of workers was not a pleasurable option, but Soundwave would endure any company, just not to occupy some city apartment. Nonetheless, it is far better than many people have, so he decided to turn down any complain his mind wanted to make. Conveniently arrived elevator brought him to his floor, and now completely socked and cold communication chief stood before the door. He turned the key. Door opened with ease, the place welcomed him with the sweet smell of a blueberry pie and, of course, cozy warmth. Finally, he could feel his body heating up a little. Rambling in a kitchen suddenly stopped and loud footsteps started to approach him. A bulky, tall figure emerged from the hallway and greeted Soundwave with

- AGAIN?!

Soundwave wasn’t a particularly inattentive person, just a couple of times he went out without something like umbrella or a hat, or a scarf or… Well, he never saw a huge deal with it, he was not made of glass after all. Figure moved towards him and finally revealed itself, light next to the door was reflecting off the set of silver hair, they were about shoulder length, complimenting sharp face features of it’s owner. It was rare to see a face with so many long scars, they were all looking rough and deep, but Soundwave have always seen them as something captivating, even now, with Megatron’s face being really angry looking, he thought to himself that they make him rather pleasantly intimidating. He raised himself of his toes and lightly kissed his partner on his lips.

- What an interesting way of dealing with a problem, huh!

- Every method counts, as long as it is effective enough.

- Indeed, Soundwave!

Megatron helped him with his coat, it was black colored, warm enough for red leaf season, but useless with rain. He hung it for the time being, there is someone more in need of being dry then it is. White shirt with a plain neon-purple tie were not as wet as the outer clothes, but still somehow managed to get water on them.

- Warm bath would be amazing for you right now, there is still plenty of time before dinner.

- Only with the good company!

- Oh, is there a particular candidate? – Megatron grinned playfully, while pulling him closer. Soundwave knew Megatron’s love for direct sentences, hints were not for him in any way, much the same went to the spymaster himself, so he didn’t hesitate to say:

- I want you to accompany me, Megatron – he smiled softly, kissing him again. His husband’s embrace was warm and comforting, safe. Just standing next to him Soundwave felt calmer, all of his inner worries slowly faded away for later.

- Let me arrange everything then. Megaton pulled away from Soundwave and went straight to their bathroom. Spymaster went to the closet to leave his remaining clothes there. It was not a huge dressing room, this walk-in closet was just a little addition to the apartment, it was unnecessary, more than a half of the shelves and hangers were empty, the biggest perk of it was a big, tall mirror just at the end of it.

Soundwave glared at himself, he looked what many people would consider quiet pretty, pale skin was complimenting his elegant features, his hair was cut shorter then Megatron’s, they used to be longer before, but Soundwave never appreciated them like this. He chuckled, remembering how when they were younger, then Megatronus discovered his old photos and asked Soundwave many times to grow his hair again. It never happened though. He glared at himself again, he never liked people complimenting him for the looks, more appreciating admiration for his work. The first compliment he received from Megatronus was about the fight they had when they met, Soundwave never though that he would hear his opponent saying: “That was a really nice hook you delivered, I have never actually seen someone making such a precise hit, wanna have a drink later?!”. Their paths crossed so suddenly and unexpectedly, even after many years together Soundwave was sometimes doubting the reality of all this. Loud voice distracted him from his thoughts:

- WE ARE ALL SET, COME HERE!

Soundwave spend no time hesitating and rushed to the bathroom. It was foggy, lavender smell floating in the air, Megatron was already seating in a big bath, spreading his arms comfortably. He looked so relaxed in a hot tub of water with his eyes closed, breathing deeply. Soundwave wasn’t sure on how many people have seen him like this. Spymaster carefully climbed in with him, resting himself on Megatron’s chest. They stayed like this for some time, just enjoying each other’s company.

Water was cooling down a little, so Megatron reached for a shampoo bottle placed on a little table beside the bath. It had a really nice flavor, but, unfortunately, Megs was not really a Japanese speaker or a reader, so he had no recollection of what was in it. He opened the bottle up and started gently rubbing liquid in Soundwave’s hair. Such a stoic spymaster was quietly purring and leaning into his touch.

- Heh, I love you being like this, those few weeks were really draining, maybe a little vacation next week for a few days would be nice?

- You already know my answer.

- I am just being polite, vacation will be happening certainly, I don’t really want to see you coming home exhausted and sleeping badly. Perhaps we can go somewhere warm and less rainy. Do you have something in mind?

- Not really, give me a day to think, I have no energy to think about any possible option.

- Ehe, all right then – he continued playing with Soundwave’s hair, admiring how pretty they were, even covered with foam. He knew his partner’s preferences, so he tried to keep appearance compliments as rare as possible, but it was so hard to hold them in sometimes. Soundwave was perfect for him, he never dare to wish for a soulmate, but fate made a gift for him and he treasured it since. When Soundwave’s hair became soapy enough, he gently washed it, it was not the first time the bathed together and certainly not the last, but each time it felt like they were becoming closer with each other.

Some time passed, now dry and clean they had freshly baked pie for dinner and collectively decided to watch something light before finally going to bed. Of course, half into some ordinary movie, Soundwave peacefully fell asleep on a couch, Megatron followed him shortly, sound of heave rain comforting them for the night.

Thank you for reading and I am sorry for my English 🌸

[mapis-putellas]

𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔/𝑳.𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒔𝒐𝒏

Requested. Based of ‘Happiness’ by Taylor swift.

The apartment was quiet, the kind of stillness that presses heavy against your chest. It was the sort of quiet you could only find after an argument so final that neither of you had the strength to fill the silence anymore. The coffee table between you and Leah was cluttered with a half-drunk glass of wine, her phone, and the ring you'd taken off just moments earlier. It sat there like it was mocking you, gleaming under the dim light as though it didn't represent the end of four years together.

Leah sat on the couch, her head in her hands. Her hair fell around her face like a curtain, hiding her expression. But you didn't need to see her eyes to know what she was feeling. Her shoulders were hunched, her breathing shallow. She wasn't crying, though. Neither of you were. Maybe you'd passed the point where tears felt useful.

It had started as a small argument, one of those little things that always seemed to spiral into something bigger. You couldn't even remember the exact words that had tipped you over the edge, but it had escalated into the same recurring fights—the kind about schedules that didn't align, the feeling of being left behind, and the crushing realization that neither of you knew how to fix what was broken anymore.

"I don't know how we got here," Leah said finally, her voice so quiet you almost didn't hear it. She looked up at you then, her eyes brimming with a kind of sadness that you hadn't seen before. "But I think... maybe it's time we call it quits."

You nodded, your throat too tight to respond. What was there to say, anyway? She wasn't wrong. You both knew it. The weight of her words settled deep in your chest like a stone.

There was no big betrayal, no villain to blame. Leah wasn't a bad person. Neither were you. Maybe that was what made it hurt the most. It would have been easier to hate her, to turn her into some twisted version of herself in your mind so you could let her go. But when you looked at her now, with her tear-stained cheeks and trembling hands, all you could think about was how much you still loved her.

She stood up, rounding the coffee table to come stand in front of you. Her hands, balled up at her sides, clench slightly before she holds them out. You sniffle softly as you take them, allowing her to haul you to your feet. You stared at each other for a quiet moment before she reached up to cup your cheeks. Her touch was soft, reverent, and you instinctively find yourself leaning into it. She smiled sadly as her thumbs linger just beneath your eyes, wiping away the tears, and then she leans in, looping her arms around your waist.

Her hold was tight. Desperate, even, and you could feel the way her hands clutched the back of your jumper. The once fading tightness in the back of your throat returns with a vengeance, and you're forced to swallow heavily as you secured your arms around her shoulders, your chin hooked over her shoulder. She sniffled, adjusting her head so her nose grazes the underside of your jaw. You cup the back of her head, wishing desperately that this wasn't the last time you had the opportunity to do so.

"I love you." A whisper. Barely audible against your ear.

"I love you too." The truth.

"I'm sorry." Please forgive me.

"Me too." I already have.

*

The first few weeks after the breakup were the hardest. You moved out of the apartment you'd shared, packing up boxes of your life together while Leah was away at training. It felt easier that way, cleaner. But as you stood in the doorway for the last time, the emptiness of the space hit you like a tidal wave.

There, in the kitchen, was where she'd taught you to cook her mum's roast dinner recipe. The bedroom was where you'd spent lazy Sunday mornings tangled in her arms, and where you'd laughed until your sides hurt over something ridiculous she'd said. The memories were everywhere, and no matter how much you tried to shut them out, they clung to you like a second skin.

At night, in the apartment you’d rented that felt painfully empty, you’d spend hours on the phone with your best friend, trying to convince her, and yourself, for that matter, that this was for the best. "I wasn't happy," you'd said one night, the words leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. But even as you said it, you knew it wasn't entirely true. There had been happiness. So much of it. It just hadn't been enough.

Months passed, and you threw yourself into anything that could distract you. Work, friends, new hobbies. But no matter how busy you kept yourself, Leah was always there in the corners of your mind. You saw her face on social media, heard her name in interviews, and felt her absence in the quiet moments when there was nothing to distract you.

You tried dating again, but it was impossible not to compare everyone to her. They weren't as funny, as driven, as alluring as Leah. They didn't have her competitive streak or the way she could make you feel like the most important person in the world with just a look. Every time someone asked about your past relationships, you found yourself stumbling over your words, unsure of how to explain the profound, aching love you'd had for her.

One night, you sat on your couch with a glass of wine, scrolling through old photos on your phone. There she was, smiling up at you in a selfie from your first anniversary. Her hair was messy from the wind, and her cheeks were pink from the cold, but she'd never looked more beautiful. You stared at the photo for what felt like hours, the memories flooding back.

There had been happiness. Real, unfiltered happiness. And it felt like a betrayal to pretend otherwise.

It was only a few months later when you ran into Leah at a mutual friend's party. You weren't expecting to see her, but there she was, standing across the room with that same easy confidence that had drawn you to her in the first place. She looked different—older, maybe—but her smile was the same.

You weren't sure what to expect when she saw you, but when your eyes met, she crossed the room without hesitation. "Hi," she said, her voice softer than you remembered.

"Hi," you replied, your heart pounding in your chest.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. Then she gestured toward the balcony. "Do you want to step outside? It's a bit loud in here."

You nodded, following her out into the cool night air. The city lights twinkled in the distance, and for a moment, you both just stood there, taking it all in.

"You look good," Leah said after a while, her tone genuine.

"Thanks. So do you."

She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "How have you been?”

You hesitated, unsure how honest you wanted to be. "I've been... okay. Busy, mostly."

She nodded, her gaze dropping to the ground. "Same.”

There was a long pause, the kind that felt heavy with unspoken words. Finally, Leah turned to look at you, her eyes searching yours."You know," she said after a long silence, "I think about us sometimes."

Your breath caught in your throat. "Yeah?”

She nodded. "I don't regret it," she said finally, eyes flickering to the sky. "Any of it. Even the hard parts. You made me happy, you know? And I hope... I hope I made you happy too."

You swallowed the lump in your throat, your chest tight with a mixture of emotions, only some of which you could decipher. "You did, Leah. You really did."

She looked at you then, her eyes soft and filled with something you couldn't quite name. "I'm glad," she said simply.

You often found yourself looking back on your relationship with Leah with a bittersweet kind of clarity. Time had softened the edges of your pain, turning the once raw wounds into faded scars that no longer ached. You'd both moved on, finding happiness in different ways, with different people.

But every now and then, you'd think about her—the way she'd laugh, the way she'd hold you when the world felt like too much, the way she'd look at you like you were her entire universe.

There had been happiness with Leah, real and undeniable. And though it had ended, you knew there would also be happiness again, just a different kind. Because life goes on, and sometimes, letting go is the kindest thing you can do for someone you'll always care about.

**

Tags:

@ceesimz @marysfics @girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @simp4panos @silentwolfsstuff @goldenempyrean @xxnaiaxx @liloandstitchstan

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

Thoughts about Ascended Astarion! (This is a long one, and I'm not trying to change anyones opinion, just highlighting the fact that the player is in complete control of the situation at all times. This game is about choices.) First off, I don't usually prefer to ascend him. But I love all versions of Astarion. His character is so well written and all of his arcs deserve praise and attention no matter what your personal opinion of them are. The devs did an incredible job. If any parts of his arc (ascended or spawn) make you uncomfortable, then romancing him isn't for you. If the dynamic between AA and your character makes you feel scared or upset, don't ascend him. That dynamic is supposed to be 100% consentual. He's a tough nut to crack and his story can be very triggering. I myself broke down a few times hearing him talk about what he went through. There are other companions with lovely character development that you can choose. When people go "ugh he's ruined I didn't want this" My dear, with all due respect. This is the dark fantasy romance option. Emphasis on the fantasy. You didn’t get his approval by being nice. It's not like he's the only option. You chose to romance the vampire. The game warns you of what exactly you're about to do multiple times. You willingly help him murder thousands of people for freedom. A vampire who was a literal slave for longer than he was even alive for just got a MASSIVE amount of power. Were you expecting he was gonna just be a good guy now? He has had NOTHING for so long. His entire life trajectory changed within moments. He’s still figuring himself out. You as the player are still completely in charge. He owes everything to you and he knows that. You can walk away at literally any point. He asks you to kneel and obey to establish trust and a dynamic. To confirm this is what you want. YOU CAN SAY NO. Then, he gets right down on the floor with you. He's either gentle or rough based on your choice. If you don't like the vibe just break up with him at that point like he literally lets you do. Or, even just reload the save. But just remember. "That's what you want, isn't it?". When Astarion ascends, Neil says it best. His mask is off and he's allowed to be at his most terrible with no fear. He doesn't have to perform or be aloof as a distraction from the pain anymore. He was never good aligned. But now, he has the power and ability to give himself and his favourite person the life he thinks they wanted. Otherwise why would you ascend him? His love language becomes acts of service and gifts. He ADORES tav to almost obsession. He's always doting on them and calling them his. The ritual only amplifies that. "but what about what he says if you convince him not to go through with it?"

He’s not lying. He knows tav saved him from himself. It is technically the “good” ending. But that’s not what matters here. The ascension is for characters who are not good aligned. It is for characters that are just as much of a power hungry monster as ascended Astarion is. They want to be a monarch that rules the world over. It’s a role playing thing. Is it wrong? That’s for you to decide for yourself. Not others.

"but what about karlach? He's a massive jackass to her when he ascends" ...Yes. He's not a good guy. Karlach is basically the goodest character in the game. It won't work. And if you do break up with him, he lashes out and says some extremely hurtful things. Because you just broke his heart. It's a perfectly normal response from someone being completely blindsided. He thought you wanted this. You said you wanted this. After everything you both did you get here, he feels betrayed. Not even to mention ascended Astarion does not make you just a regular spawn. You quite literally become his vampire spouse. He thanks you for putting your trust in him. Then eventually you become a true vampire with time. He wants to make sure tav doesn't go insane after being turned. If you wanna learn more about vampire spouses in DnD I highly reccomend doing some google searches. It's fascinating. Is ascending him the right thing to do? No, but it's not "wrong". The game doesn't work that way. Is keeping him a spawn the right thing to do? Maybe, if your character thinks it is. Either route has their sets of pros and cons. It's up to you which ones you think work for your playthrough.

I almost always convince him not to go through with the ritual. But ascended Astarion + durge is a power couple and the vibes are immaculate for evil runs. Just have fun with the game! The devs made all these character arcs for you to explore! Thanks for reading <3

[superstarz9]

So y’all fw Mr. Puzzles hcs?

Cause I got some :]

So canonically, based off the emerging movements he makes going from tv mode to ‘normal’ mode and the appearance of his arms/legs, there isn’t much of Puzzles that’s human anymore. The closest things he may have left is his heart and lungs (since he smokes, but that’s also a stretch).

While I prefer the idea thar he smokes, I like to think that he only holds the cigarette and pretends to smoke with a small smoke machine in the back, since the cig isn’t actually lit in the scene (not on purpose, of course).

As a kid, he was inspired to smoke from the old cigarette ads in cartoons (like the Flintstones Winston commercial).

He loves cooking shows and remaking the recipes, but he can’t eat. For a relationship hc (platonic or romantic), he’d probably love making food for you and get feedback on his cooking (eg, more spices, cook more/less, different recommendations). And compliments, of course. Always gotta compliment the chef, after all.

Body-wise (and this one might be kinda gross cause of minor body horror so skip if not comfortable), since we’ve established that there isn’t anything organic anymore about his body, he probably looks like a wire version of muscle anatomy. He’s very self-conscious about this, and tries to hide it the best of his abilities (long clothes, wrapping his arms to keep his shirt in place, the gloves). To add, his brain is probably a unique motherboard with wires surrounding it like a brain.

He sees and hears through the antennas, and makes sure to keep then aligned as much as possible. If one of them is slightly bent out of their usual shape, things look and sound very broken, like your vision going in and out. To add, the top dial changes the channel from his expressions to a specific show, and the lower dial adjusts his volume.

Technically canon but he has heterochromia! His right eye is dark brownish and his left is light blue. (He has homophobia in his eyes 😔 /j /ref)

We already know he stims lets bffr.

My friend’s hc: His angry/scary/humanoid face is parts of his original face, as well as the face that glitches during the movie’s end (I stg I know where that face is from. I wanna say Jack Stauber but I know it’s some kind of claymation. Speaking of Jack Stauber, Mr. Puzzles kinda gives Mirror Man vibes, y’know?).

Since he’s not as human anymore, he doesn’t get sick normally. However, he can get versions of illnesses through similar methods. He can overheat and power off on hot days, and he’s probably not great in rain. His signal also jams when it rains, so he’d constantly be bumping into stuff and wouldn’t be able to control the channels properly (I say control the channels cause idk what else to call it but that thing he does in the movie where he runs all the channels in his head and stuff. His head’s still a fully functional tv after all). If he’s shocked with lighting or smth, he’ll lose his signal, which is his equivalent of going into a coma.

Speaking of rain, he’ll try his best to be on top of the weather and carry an umbrella. However, if he doesn’t have actors for the weather channel and is preoccupied with other projects, he’ll be stuck at the studio waiting out the storm. Relationship hcs for this can be rlly funny. You’d catch him all bitter about the sudden rain as he stands by the door waiting for a cab or smth. If you pull out an umbrella, he’s turn into an absolute drama queen. “Oh, it’s such a TRAVESTY! This HORRIBLE rain just WON’T lighten up! Oh, if only there was someone so kind and caring who’d share their umbrella with me!” You could a) not share the umbrella and receive an even more bitter Puzzles, b) insist on holding the umbrella and have him walk with you awkwardly, or c) give him the umbrella but he holds it so high that you still get wet.

Despite his hatred for the rain, it’s one of the few things he can still enjoy about his humanity. Being a bunch of wires and other tech, he can’t feel anything, just being numb, minus a light electrical pulse, similar to a heart beat. He can’t feel specific textures but can grab and roughly identify objects. However, he can feel the rain and how different it is from other things, and it reconnects him with the real world. For any Steven Universe fans, it’s like Peridot stepping out into the rain for the first time, but more somber.

If he’s out in the rain one day, he’s sick the next. When he sneezes, his screen goes static-y for the moment.

When he sleeps, he has a black screen with the small “sleep mode” pop-up in the corner. He’s also a very light sleeper.

When he zones out, it’s the Puzzlevision logo bouncing across the screen as a screen-saver.

Aight that’s all I got right now. If this does well I’ll post some more!

[distant--shadow]

The witch and the widow chapters 1-4 author’s notes

Ok, so first off I feel I gotta preface this by saying I am absolutely not a history buff. Kinda the opposite of one really. I was one of less than 10% of the kids in my year of 300 or so that didn’t take history at GCSEs, mostly caus a subject taught and based around names and dates etc is the definition of something not suited for my type of brain, also I hugely lost interest in it caus we moved past the fun trebuchet eras and all that real fast and it became of slog of me falling asleep in lessons caus I had a teacher whose method was putting on movies and shutting the blinds (I’d always fall asleep and he was later jailed for being a p*edophile, so that’s a thing.) Anyway, all that to say I’m not good at this shit, but as ive gotten older I have taken a bigger interest in queer history in particular, and that often if not always links into other areas such as fashion, women’s rights, religion,the arts, class, and race etc. (I’m still not good at names and dates though!)

They are outfitted and arsenalled - the stones of the wall - in a manner to rival any army; tapestries of red and gold perhaps once brandished on battlefield as banners promenading around death now retired and indoor-still-air-still as taxidermy giving colour between all of the shades of metal, burnished and polished and in some cases rusting, some still purposefully left blood-stained, swords and pikes and maces arranged in wallpaper patterns as though flowers or fans, sword-sheath beams spreading from chest-plate armour suns.

Let’s start with something easy and recent. The Baron’s armoury was inspired by a few castles I’ve visited, these rooms are always so bizarre to me. I don’t know if this is at all of the time/how they were decorated or a more recent thing, but either way it’s pretty wild but I do love the visual and metaphor of it. In this one castle I found out from talking about the carpentry to an attendant that the decorative ceiling work around the chandelier above the dining room table actually hid a trapdoor - and there was other hidden doorways for passages and to secret rooms in this castle, that’s not that unusual - but this particular trapdoor was to allow for the chandeliers to be switched out. Why? Caus they had them in multiple colours of glass, and the lady of the castle liked the chandelier to co-ordinate with her dress if they were having guests round. Aint that such a flex? Definitely some food for future thought.

Aight. Clothing. So anyone that chats fic/au to me or is in my server has probably heard me yell to go watch Kaz Rowe’s videos many times. As I’ve said this fic aint meant to be historically accurate but it does kinda straddle histories, one of which being our own; so women wearing trousers and the like at this time would still be a crime, and draw a lot of attention . Imogen in men’s clothing genuinely isn’t meant to be much of a gender thing but a thing of practicality, and she has mostly lived in the countryside or in the outskirts, so she does not get into the trouble she would should she go into the towns and cities (another reason to keep away past the potential noise, but this Imogen will happily don a dress or skirts if she needs to, she’s just usually working – and maybe it’s a bonus that dressing as a man acts as a sort of flagging for any women who might be interested lol.)

I guess here I should mention how I think this version of Imogen's powers and how they’ve manifested (along with everyone else being unaware of them) will have somewhat changed her disposition and personality, it is a lot more aligned with later campaign Imogen who has more confidence and empowerment, she hasn’t been ostracised for her abilities or particularly bombarded by them, think more like when she has her circlet on, she chooses to listen in (mostly), although of course she has still heard many terrible things (and her life has still been pretty brutal but that’s to be written still).

(it’ll be really fun in this regard getting to explore and explain this version of Laudna, but early days for giving much away on that yet!)

Her skirts are full and structured and plumed by many layers of petticoats that hide the movement of her feet across the wildflower lawn, causing her to appear to be drifting like the bees do from petal to petal, pollen dusting her pleats though ghostly her skin in contrast to the fine fabrics that she dresses for the part, black in mourning, still, bodice tight and sleeve leg of mutton, an ornate decorative layer of black lace laying over each yard of textured textile like spider webs on porcelain patterns, her husband's tableware collecting dust in the kitchen cupboard.

real impractical for how tending towards practical the Lady dares to be, hands on, too busy for errant hairs in piano key ivory and ebony windswept and loose from the high bun she pins in place with a cameo broach, a memento mori engraved in silver and inlayed with ruby eyes and tied with red ribbons. Her skin also proudly displays the age and perhaps trauma that her hair does, lines from laughter and furrowed brows and the feet of the crows that cry from the top of the chimney pots

A little note as to say that Laudna’s appearance is heavily influenced by Victorian mourning wear, with some of the clothes cuts altered to be a little bit more regency and earlier in places. (her  attire is a little outdated, further suggesting her distancing from society and fashion)

A couple of days ago Imogen happened upon a bird with an injured wing, crying helplessly and rolling in circles, feathers taking flight away from the bird that could not, settling around it as it panicked itself bald-

The bird could not live without the use of its wing, and it didn’t, whether that was by Prosciutto or a fox, only its feathers were left in a pile.

Imogen had gathered them into an empty burlap sack; taken them to one of the maids downstairs to clean, repurpose them for filling pillows.

Here’s a silly little easter egg for my p(r)oof reader. Last time he visited we was enjoying a cinnamon roll from the local bakery by the city river (as you do) and a cyclist hit a seagull. It was real distressing, the seagull was distressed too. A handfull of middle aged women stood around it not wanting or knowing how to intervene as its wing was twisted at a crazy angle and it flapped about in a pile of its own feathers, there’s still bird flu about so it is wise to not touch wild birds, and as bleak as it is I was saying to freshy that a wild bird who’s wings broken like that is gonna die, and probably slowly and painfully. Some man came along and lifted up the bird to take the bird off the path and laid it to rest behind an old bridge building, I think he must have mercy killed it too as the bird was already dead when we walked past 10 or so minutes later after finishing our cinnamon roll and giving a cautious glance. So there’s a nice happy memory thrown in there for him.

what appears to be driftwood breaches the surface, then another point, then another

the water belches

Ceviche scares, whinnying as he rears onto his back legs, the Lady leaning forward and clinging to his harness. Imogen stands in her stirrups, leaning across the gap over to the black stallion, grasping his reins and cooing

“All good, boy, all good-”

What had appeared to be driftwood lands on the surface with a slap, looking like the carcass of an old boat left to rot in the muddy bed of a dock, timber ribcaged and leathered skin cladding.

A femur surfaces, followed by a jaw.

Second easter egg for the p(r)oof is a quick one (I’m such a considerate writer, I know.) On a train ride to a loch we went to for a day out there is a stop that is on another lake/body of water, and right by the train tracks (which are at water height) there are 4 or 5 old ships stuck in the mud, most of them just the frames/structures of the old boats, mostly wood and some bits of metal, but they’re pretty big boats! It really looks like whale carcasses. I’ve always wanted to get of there and check it out, and we were gonna stop by on the way back but my health being what it is was giving me some grief that day so we missed 2 trains and then soon the daylight, so hopefully next time buddy.

There’s alotta meat and gore talk and Imogen being a vegetarian without the label for such is just another way of me playing round with all of her complex feelings about what the Lady might be doing, her feelings towards Angharad butchering and nourishing the women with these communal stews and all of that. I’ve been vegetarian myself for 20 years now, and it was all triggered by an existential crisis in my mid teens (still a huge fan of leather and blood though) – Imogen greatly cares about animals, struggles with the thought of anything being slaughtered, she is in some ways more empathetic than most because she knows those she does on so much more of a personal level, really feels how someone is reacting to a situation they are in, but also because of this she knows humans are often corrupt and vile and she is spared such thoughts from animals, only knows their instincts and the love and comfort and service they bring – and yet she will obsess over the Lady’s (potential) tooling on that saddlework leather that’s really fucking brutal if she thinks about it one way and beautiful if she thinks about it another hmmm what if everything’s not black and white.

Oh, and the stew is a homage to @picturesofthegoneworlds’ pre-campaign fic Intertwined which I am lucky enough to co-parent and her writing is hugely influential on mine.

There’s a few things being bread crumb trailed here that I can’t explain in the author notes yet, but I’m looking forward to when I can. One small detail I will give away is just a silly thing about the chapter headings. They are something of significance from within the chapter, given in its ‘proper’ name – maybe someone gets access to some books to do research at some point?

anyways, thanks @astoriacolumnstaircase for enabling me. will do another post like this for future chapters if folks find it interesting.

[onyx-syn]

Ya know, the more and more I get into mouthwashing and falling more in love with the characters and story - having a deep connection to it- I think about how the crew would celebrate holidays, more in particular Christmas and new years. And with the holiday seasons coming up, I think I'll write something little about it.

So take this

How the Tulpar Crew celebrates Christmas/Winter Holidays!

Warnings: Jealousy, this is just really sweet and full of fluff!

🌹So taking as it isn't clear as into there destination and there exact main transportation station they deported from (unless I missed that part and they said earth-) so for this I'm going based off of Earth's time!

🌹Pony Express has different transportation stations on different planets, but their main one is on Earth, so much of the calendars found on Pony Express ships align their calendars with Earths time. However, only these calendars can be authorized to the captain or co-pilot

🌹As to why that is, no one really knows but it's a tiny detail in the Pony Express Employee handbook underneath Captains Protocols Section, which was to keep check on calendar

🌹Anya has access to the up to date calendar that aligned with Earth's time. Anya still wanted to have some form of a connection with the outside world, almost like being home sick in her own way

🌹She kept the calendar so she could figure out what days were which holidays. However the reason that she gave Curly on why she wanted authorization to the calendar, was so she could updated records on all the crewmates time of psych evals and medication, which was true but she also had another more personal reason

🌹Anya turns the radio channels in medical bay just right to a music station that plays 24 hours Christmas music

🌹Is Christmas music her favorite music? No. Does she enjoy listening to it? Of course. Hearing Christmas music while being so far away to enjoy it with family and friends makes her feel closer to home

🌹Daisuke is the same way, but more on listening to more 'modern' versions of the songs, remixes sort of speak. As the youngest he would be the most appealing to gen z, so most of his taste and interests would be brain rot and memes

🌹Regardless, as much as he seems like the enthusiastic outgoing intern who always has a smile plastered on his face, deep down he felt a part of him become increasingly lonely, mostly due to the fact this would be his first holiday without being with his family and friends while being up in space

🌹Some of Daisukes games on his gameboy actually update their game during the holiday seasons to bring the spirit of the holiday into the game

🌹It brings him comfort seeing the snowy aesthetic on his game as he played. Reminds him of when he would sit on the couch and play, the window beside him displaying snow falling down, coating the ground and trees in a pure white scenery

🌹Out of all the crew members, Anya and Daisuke are for sure the ones who decorate. You don't wanna ask how long it took for them to go through the deep trenches of the ship to find even ONE Christmas decoration. Let's just say Daisuke has never been more happy to find plastic fake snow. Swansea just shook his head at Daisuke but deep down he loved the enthusiasm and determination this kid had to actually go in the back to find all of this stuff with Anya

🌹Now, when it came down to the Christmas tree, that's where the problem of decorating came to. Solution? Use the statue of Pony Express’s mascot as the Christmas tree (I think you can imagine who’s idea this was)

Curly and Swansea stared at the statue of Pony Express mascot, now covered in an abundance of different Christmas lights and taped on Christmas ornaments, with a look of wonder and confusion.

Before either one of them could mutter out a word about the look of their ‘new’ statue, in comes Daisuke walking through the automatic door with a gleeful look on his face and a star shining in his eyes as he carried in more lights and ornaments.

His attention turned to Swansea and Curly, seeing their expressions. “See you guys found the tree!”

Swansea raised an eyebrow at him, “You mean the mascot?”

“No our tree, don’t disrespect Mr.Tree like that Swansea”, Daisuke exclaimed walking over and placing more ornaments on the mascot with an over amount of tape -like a concerning amount- that made Curly question for a second just how much tape they would have left after Christmas day.

🌹Speaking of Curly and Swansea, these two are the worst ones with homesickness during the holiday seasons, especially Swansea

🌹Years back when Pony Express had the budget for it, they used to have a televised transmitter, where the crewmate could set up a small static TV panel in the lounge area and get a live feed of a similar TV panel back at home, so they could connect and communicate with their friends and families

🌹Swansea has been around so long that when he first began the job, he remembered when they first introduced the invention and took them away. Whenever he was out on a delivery and Christmas came around, he was always eager to get the transmission up and running to watch his family open presents. His wife and he would buy their kids Christmas presents before he departed. He always kept up with his kids, in what they like and don't like, even if he didn't fully understand some of their interests, and on the side to buy his wife a gift as well

🌹Swansea is both the type to buy appliances for his wife to use around the house cause she mentioned one time that she wish she had this or that for the house, and the type to get his wife an expensive new jewelry set. He loves that woman to death and will do anything and buy anything to see that look of surprise on her face, it brought a small quirked smile on his face every time

🌹When they took the transmitter away due to budget cuts, Swansea was stern and protested about it, sadly his complaints were left unanswered

🌹Anya and Daisuke would help cheer up Swansea’s sour mood during this time to help decorating and sticking tape on eachother. Swansea couldn’t even turn his back from these two unless he wanted a rough slap of tape on his work shirt

Swansea, Anya, and Daisuke were working on decorating the dining area to make the place feel more lively and get into the Christmas spirit more. It brings back memories to Swansea when the transmission TV’s were still here, he would watch his wife and kids decorate the tree. It was honestly cute seeing his kids walk up to the TV to ask daddy where he would like some of the ornaments to go on the tree.

It still made him upset that Pony Express took that luxury away, but you can’t have everything in this world.

Swansea bent down to look for more garland in the cardboard box to put on the ends of the counter, finding none left in the box. There was another box situated across from the counter over near the mascot.

Swansea saw it as no big deal, walk over, open the box, get some more garland, bada bing bada boom. It was a simple task that he could’ve done with no problem, had it not been for when as soon as he turned his back towards Anya and Daisuke, he felt a long strip of black scotch tape being slapped onto his back.

Swansea quickly turned around and looked back at the two.

The two of them were humming to themselves as they continued to decorate the area. Swansea put his hands on his hips and spoke, “Okay which one of you did that”.

Daisuke shrugged his shoulders, “Don’t know whatcha talking about Swansea” Swansea rolled his eyes at his naivety and fake innocence. Swansea's hand went back around and pulled the tape off his shirt with a loud sheer tear. “Talking about this shit”, he said sternly.

In the corner of his eye he could see a sly smirk appear on Anya's face as she snickered, turning her head away so Swansea couldn’t see the look of mischief her face had.

Daisuke answered Swansea, “Oh that? Damn, must’ve flew over to you”, with Anya adding on, “Must’ve grown hands to slap your back life that Swansea”. Both Daisuke and Anya snickered to themselves as they messed with Swansea.

Swansea’s nose scrunched up as he rocked his head side to side mocking their laughter, “So you think you can mess with ol’Swansea aye?” He asked, almost challenging like. He walked over to the table where more black scotch tape was scattered across it. He grabbed one and pulled a long black stripe from it, looking at Daisuke and Anya with a hint of mischief in his eyes now.

“You two better start running before this tape is gonna be in your nightmares”.

🌹Lets just say that a lot of tape was used that day, but it definitely did help bring Swansea’s mood up, much to Anya’s and Daisuke liking

🌹As for Curly, it was hard on him for the simple fact that back on Earth, he was a social butterfly, liked by everyone, had many friends an family that he would celebrate Christmas with. Him and Jimmy would celebrate Christmas at their family’s house, inviting one another to each one and then go out that night to drink to end the day. It was a tradition to them at that point

🌹But being up in space, with Jimmy’s new found position as a co-pilot that Curly helped him get and Curly as Captain, it felt oddly lonely. Curly wouldn’t admit it to anyone, even his best friend and Anya. Curly also had many duties as Captain, which caught him to be occupied with work after work so he couldn’t spend time with the crew and helped decorate, which just added more to the feeling of loneliness

🌹Whenever he did get the chance to take a step back from having to do work, he would check up on everyone to see how they were hanging in, always lending a helping hand with decorating, joking around. Sadly, he too was a victim to tape slapping, he was confused at first but once he realized it was a free for all, no one was safe

🌹Jimmy, however, didn’t spend much time out socializing much with the crew to his liking, if anything he despised the Christmas spirit. Only time he would come out to help, was either for Cury’s sake or for simple human interaction

🌹It was a lot different here in the Tulpar then back on Earth. His jealousy for Curly grew more and more with each passing day, seeing how the crew idolized him even for the smallest thing, seeing how eager Curly was to help them. Jimmy was in control just like Curly, but not to Curlys level, and it pissed him off to no end. How could he be so happy? Jimmy always wondered, questioning Curly’s mental strength of control on this ship

🌹It’s not like Jimmy felt excluded, Daisuke would always try to joke and invite Jimmy along with Curly, but god did he despise everyone on this ship for some reason or another

🌹When Christmas day finally arrived, everyone was in the dining room and lounge area. Anya and Curly were in charge of making food and drinks, mostly Curly, as most of which had to be done through Captain authorization. Curly was able to find in the deep cupboards of the cabinets an old recipe book that contained holiday recipes both food and drink

🌹He made a quick thing of ham and mashed potatoes, not the most lavished or the most tasteful that the crew has tasted, but it was good nonetheless and added more to the Christmas mood. He also made some eggnog, surprisingly as they had the resources for such. It was Daisuke’s first time trying eggnog and his last time, he didn’t enjoy the taste as much as he thought but he kept telling himself it’s good

🌹The crew sat in the lounge area after eating, drinking eggnog and conversing, discussing old Christmas stories of theirs back at home and folktales that ol’ Swansea might remember

🌹“I’m not that old, i’m not a fucking dinosaur” Swansea kept telling Daisuke who kept asking about Christmas folktales like Swansea was some magical being

🌹Anya would tell stories of how her and her mother always went downtown for the Chritsmas parade after eating and opening presents. Anya loved taking photos of the wintery scene as people in jollyful clothes and jingle bells. She would talk about how that parade had real life reindeer and how the people in the parade would give the onlookers carrots to feed them. She giggled back on the memories of where the reindeers lips would tickle her hand as they took their carrots out of her grasp

🌹Curly reminiscence on the times with him and Jimmy celebrating Christmas at both of their parents house, mostly at Curlys. Curly has a huge family, so a lot of gift wrapping paper would be scattered all over the floor, making a huge pile. His family’s dog would jump in and out of the pile having zoomies, they always said that Christmas day was ‘Sammy’s’ favorite day. And after that, the family would play game after game. Curlys siblings themselves were very competitive during these, which led to arguments spurring out during games like go fish -yeah, that competitive

🌹Jimmy didn’t add much to it, only chuckling and adding on to Curlys tales of him and Jimmy back on Earth, adding onto his stories from his point of view or a forgotten detail. It was almost surreal seeing Jimmy have a genuine chuckle over something that he liked and enjoyed

🌹This is one of only a few times, where the crew felt like a crew, a moment where they would all chill and lay back and have a fun time with each other. However, all good things come to an end, don’t they

[shiftthemoon]

THE POSSIBLE SCIENCE OF SHIFTING : YOUR DESIRED LIFE MAY BE JUST A THOUGHT AWAY ˙⋆✮

okay, let’s get real about shifting. if you’re reading this, you’ve probably been at that point where your CR (current reality) feels more like a trap than the awesome life you were promised, and you’ve heard whispers of people shifting into their DR (desired reality)—be it a world where you’re a hero, chilling with your fav band, or just living a life that actually aligns with your dreams.

sounds magical, right? well, science is here to tell you: this might not be as out-there as it seems.

— THE CR IS LIKE… AN OLD MEME ?

first things first: your CR? it’s not as real as you think it is. like, really. science says that what you perceive as your physical reality is just a temporary projection of the energy around you. quantum physics comes in with the big reveal—our universe isn’t as solid as we think. it’s all about probability and potential. you might look at your CR and say, “yup, this is the life I’m stuck with,” but guess what? everything in that CR is a bunch of particles and waves that only collapse into solid form when you observe them. it’s called wave function collapse (fancy, I know), and it’s the reason why your life can change when you shift your perspective.

quantum physicist max planck once said that everything is energy and, energy is infinite. this means your reality isn’t just some rigid 3D box you’re stuck in—it’s fluid, it’s moldable, and you’re the sculptor.

— NEUROPLASTICITY &&& YOUR BRAIN: WHAT’S IT TO SHIFTING ?

so you know how every time you learn something new, your brain gets all pumped up and rewires itself? that’s neuroplasticity! your brain isn’t just stuck in the past or future, it’s constantly reconfiguring based on what you experience. the cool part? when you shift, you’re literally retraining your brain to live in a new, alternate version of reality. neuroscientists have found that the brain doesn’t distinguish between “real” and “imagined” experiences. when you vividly imagine yourself in your DR, your brain is like, “oh, this is happening now.” it reacts as if it’s part of your present reality. so when you step into your DR with conviction, your brain doesn’t even hesitate—it rewires itself, like a computer switching to a new operating system.

and don’t get it twisted: this isn’t some fuzzy “I hope this works” kind of thing. you are creating new pathways, new connections. your neurons are throwing a party, building a new map for your mind to follow, and suddenly—bam! your DR isn’t just a dream. it’s tangible. it’s on the other side of the veil, waiting for you to stop doubting it.

— THE 4D : THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS !

alright, let’s talk dimensions. we’re living in the 3D—length, width, and height. the rules of this world are rigid. things are “real” because we can touch them, see them, or measure them. but your DR? it exists in the 4D. and no, that’s not just a trendy tiktok hashtag, it’s literally a dimension where time and space bend, where things exist in multiple forms at once, and where possibilities are limitless. 4D is where your “shifting” happens, where every choice you make spins off into its own reality.

you know that slight discomfort you get when you start shifting? that’s your mind stepping into the 4D. you can’t touch it, you can’t always see it, but it’s there, like a shimmering layer that surrounds your CR. when you start seeing your DR, you’re tuning your brain to a different frequency—like flipping to another radio station, except this station has a whole new show, full of you as the main character.

here’s the cool part: the 4D doesn’t care about the rules of the 3D. that’s why when you’re in a lucid dream or during deep visualization, your mind doesn’t see limitations. it feels the new world. shifting is just your brain aligning with the vibrations of that alternate reality. boom—you’re there.

— THE POSSIBLE SCIENCE OF SHIFTING

now, don’t get spooked: this isn’t magic, it’s science in action. when you shift, you’re using a combination of brain power and quantum mechanics. your mind is like a receiver, tuned to a specific frequency—your DR. all the while, your physical body is still in your CR, but your consciousness? it’s dancing with the probabilities of your DR. it’s like the quantum superposition of particles: you exist in multiple states at once, and by focusing your attention, you collapse your wave function to lock into the version of reality you want.

you might be wondering, “but what if I’m not ready for it? what if I can’t believe it enough to make it real?” here’s the deal: your beliefs influence your neuroplasticity and quantum state. the more you feel that your DR is real, the more your brain rewires to support it. you literally start operating on that quantum level, where thought and reality are inseparable. every time you think about your DR, you’re collapsing probabilities and pulling your DR closer.

— HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ?

okay, so now that we’ve dropped some science knowledge, let’s talk about how to vibe with all of this. shifting isn’t about waiting for some random cosmic event or praying for a miracle. it’s about becoming the observer of your reality. when you stop clinging to the old, tired narratives of your CR, you free yourself to shift. you allow your mind to break free from the constraints of the 3D world and step into a world of infinite possibility. trust that your DR is just a thought away.

think about it like this: you’ve been living in one storyline, but you’re also the writer, the director, and the actor of your own movie. shifting is like picking up a pen and starting a new chapter. forget the plot holes of your current life, forget the limitations you’ve been given by society, your school, or your parents. this is your masterpiece, and you get to decide how it unfolds.

the most important thing is to trust the process. when you let go of your attachment to the CR, you start aligning with your DR. you stop doubting, you stop waiting for something “real” to happen, and you start living like the multi-dimensional being you are.

— FINAL THOUGHTS

shifting isn’t about escaping; it’s about expanding. the CR is your past, the DR is your future, and the 4D is the space in between where you get to shape everything. science backs it up: your brain, your energy, and the universe are all on your side. all you need to do is step into your power. shift, love.

— REFERENCES FOR THE CURIOUS MINDS !

it’s important to remember that certain facts are still purely theoretical, such as the ones for quantum superposition & parallel universes in general !

another thing is: i’m not a physics / philosophy / neuroscience / psych / cognitive science major, nor do i claim the things i say as factual. this is just something i’ve been fiddling around with, and as a junior high school student, know very little about.

wave function collapse & quantum mechanics -> heisenberg, w. (1958): physics & philosophy: the revolution in modern science.

↳ “The atoms or electrons are not real in the same sense as, for example, a chair or a tree. We must be content with describing their behavior and predicting their possible effects on other systems. The very act of observation collapses their potential states into a single one.” (p. 68)

neuroplasticity -> doidge, n. (2007). the brain that changes itself. penguin books.

↳ “The brain, it turns out, is not a static organ. Its architecture is constantly changing, responding to experience, thought, and injury. Neuroplasticity means that the brain has the potential to form new neural connections and reorganize itself, even in adulthood.” (p. 12)

neuroscience & visualization: jeannerod, m. (2001). neurophysiological mechanisms underlying motor imagery. in: progress in brain research (pp. 201-211). elsevier.

↳ “When we imagine an action, the same neural pathways are activated as when we actually perform the action. The mind doesn’t distinguish between real and imagined motion, which allows the body to respond similarly to both.” (p. 207)

quantum superposition & parallel realities -> everett, h. (1957). “relative state” formulation of quantum mechanics. reviews of modern physics, 29(3), 454-462.

↳ “If a system is in a superposition of states, then after measurement, it is assumed to exist in multiple realities. Each possible outcome creates a branching of the universe, where all possibilities are realized in parallel.” (p. 456)

the 4D concept -> greene, b. (2004). the elegant universe: superstrings, hidden dimensions, and the quest for the ultimate theory. w.w. norton & company.

↳ “The theory of superstrings suggests that the universe is made up of not just three spatial dimensions, but at least nine. These extra dimensions are hidden from our view, yet they may hold the key to understanding the forces of nature and the existence of parallel worlds.” (p. 101)

lucid dreaming & consciousness -> laberge, s. (1990). lucid dreaming: the power of being awake and aware in your dreams. shambhala.

↳ “Lucid dreaming gives you the ability to consciously explore your inner world. By realizing you are dreaming, you can manipulate the dream to create whatever reality you wish, offering an insight into the malleability of perception and experience.” (p. 56)

[desultory-novice]

hi dess! probably the wrong person to ask but it's just to immensely confuddling... is there a solid lore explanation for how sectonia turned into a bee? i wanted to write a body horror thing for her but i wanted it to be lore accurate and it's just all so convoluted !

Wrong person or not, it is impeccable timing! Both because of Triple Deluxe's 10th Anniversary (in Japan time) and the fact that I've been intensely studying those scenes for my own anniversary piece! Which is, err, running late.

Here is what we can garner about Sectonia's transformation abilities based on the available information + insights the game gives us.

[Pause Screen Lore]

VS Sectonia Vine

"Sectonia's family(1) have parasitized, taken possession of, and controlled countless lifeforms."

1) This word is often translated as "clan" as in a large gathering of members who are not necessarily family but belong to a specific unified group. IE, this could mean anything from "she and her direct family members have this ability" to "all spiders within a certain classification have this ability" to "all spiders have this ability".

I sometimes HC that possession is something all female spiders possess, because I like to imagine her people being a Queendom and that'd be a good reason for it, and also because of The Dark Crystal's "Wings? I don't have wings." "Of course not. You're a boy." (Which just feels so Taranza + Sectonia coded to me)

(I say "sometimes" because I'm also very fond of trans-girl Sectonia HC.)

VS Queen Sectonia (2)

"Sectonia, beautiful and menacing in form. She has [placed herself] inside the world tree..."

VS Sectonia Soul (2)

"I have parasitized and changed bodies so many times, I can no longer recall...which of them was my original self..."

(This pause screen lore is written from Sectonia's POV.)

So, yes, Joronia/Sectonia is a parasite.

She attaches to something and makes it part of her body/swaps bodies with it. If we look at the difference between her queen-form and her flowered-form, we understand a few things about this process: she takes her current body, as well as the body of another living organism and fuse them together. IE: 1 + 1 = 1

She retains some visual aspects of her previous body after a "switch" (she still has the bee head, collar, and wings, for example) and gains the greater (?) amount of traits from the new body.

This would mean that after her first swap, she probably still looked a little like "Joronia." (Something like a messed up version of those matching toys where you have to align the head, torso, and legs.)

What this also means is that in order to look like "Queen Sectonia" who is so completely different from what Taranza and Joronia look like, she would have had to swap bodies a lot. (Not to mention, she is BIG. It is possible her last body-swap wasn't even to a bee/wasp but something large she absorbed to gain the qualities of its size! Or maybe she stole something large for the size and then stole something with a super thin waist to get that hourglass figure XD)

Planet Robobot's Clone Sectonia lore tells us that "countless species" were found in the Dream Stalk's DNA "stretching over 1,000 years" so this does indeed seem to confirm she did this a frightening amount of times over a long period of time.

It's safe to say you will probably find no one creature in the Kirby-verse that looks similar to Queen Sectonia, as her body was custom crafted with parts from countless critters.

We also get a few visual insights into how parasitization looks...

...Upon her initial defeat, she begins giving off a massive amount of glitter/sparkles/insect scales. 

This visual is interesting as, if she was already reaching for a new body after her defeat, it is possible this is the first part of the process. Shedding her initial body. If not, this could either be a sign of her current body failing/dying or her parasitic control over it weakening.

She raises up, does some hand movements, lets out a wave of magic and begins to glow brightly. When we check back in on her, she has expelled her wings (she has them back in flower form but they DO appear slightly different. More petal-like and droopy. See above.) and wriggling tentacles appear from behind her...

You can debate that these are the Dream Stalk's vines wrapping around her, but they don't seem to behave the same way. (They don't have leaves either, which the vines do.) Thus, I think these are "appendages" that specifically appear as part of Sectonia/Joronia's transformation process. If you think about the way insects emerge from their cocoons, I can imagine these as tendrils as coming out from a "split/crack" that slowly forms in her back...

There's a LOT of light and time and struggle involved in the process but this could be just because the Dream Stalk was such a large and powerful target, being rooted into Popstar itself. If she's done this hundreds or thousands of times before, it is possible there is a shorter version of this for things she already overpowers.

...Though, the grimdark part of my brain imagines things like Taranza using his magic to hold one of her struggling targets down while she enwraps it with her horrible parasite tendrils. If Dess hasn't said this before, I'm less interested in soft, sad boy Taranza and much more interested in "1/2 of a gleeful villain couple" Taranza, who is so captivated by his beloved, he happily joins her in all sorts of horrendous things - leading military invasions in her name, assassinations, putting down rebellions, capturing new victims for her, all things he IS implied to do in game through Dedede -  only turning a blind eye to it because he believes in and is infatuated with her and thus, this must be the right thing to do. Right...?

-

In summary, what we can glean is all pretty bad. Sectonia doesn't even "swap" bodies because the bodies she absorb all get used up and can be said to be "dead" from the moment she inhabits them. Though you can even argue this, as, once she is defeated, the Dream Stalk seems to regain its individuality after her absorption. If you're re~ally into horror, you could take this to mean that some aspect of her victims consciousness is carried on from body to body...!!!!

Also, swapping from body to body appears to be more of a melding process anyway, which could also be pretty darn horrible, depending upon how much control you think she has over which traits she inherits from her victims. If it's entirely her choice, it's simply a matter of how many bodies until she's found the traits she believes "perfects" her ultimate vision of herself - plus how many times she changes her mind. If it's NOT then she's probably gone through an insane amount of swaps/victims, discontented at the results and insisting on trying again and again until it turns out "right."

And there you have it! Joronia's transformation into Sectonia is both deeply pitiful and deeply, deeply frightening!

[kit-williams]

Cuckoo Anon

Oh you bet your Chain Axe I Do! Had to stop last night because tired but I've got pretty good ideas for some other legions reactions to getting yoinked from their original timeline.

Disclaimer: Apologies if your fav legion doesn't appear here I only know enough about so many of them.

Word Bearers - Another group that's more Aware that the warp has something to do with this, though less able to actively affect it than say the Thousand Sons. Definitely in the group that Wants to establish contact with their original timeline because there's so many souls here in need of the warp's guidance. Until they're able to do that, they spend there time pouring over the various religious texts available here. Would speak up at a theology lecture to correct the speaker about the details of certain figures that they've actually met in their original timeline. Example: Nurgle. They also enjoy yoga for its meditative quality, though its less enjoyable for even the most yoga obsessed humans. The Word Bearers pair yoga with dark ritualistic chanting. Even in Gothic the humans recognize the words are...a bit unsettling.

Rating: Suddenly finding yourself running a...more intense version of a Bible camp as your Word Bearer instructs his group on the proper alignment of ritual circles with the Stars for their next venture. You just hope none of these will ever involve blood sacrifices.

War Hounds/World Eaters - Cut from the same cloth, even stitched with the same pins. Like the Iron Warriors these guys are actually Thriving (as much as they can) in this new environment. You'd think with everything being softened and pacified by the warp they'd go raving mad. But no, because that includes their nails and bloodlust. The nails still hurt, but its like a toothache most days compared to feeling like your brain is being stabbed. And they still crave battle, but there's sparring arenas and Astarte focused gyms in practically every city and marine base here. Plus the occasional chance to Really let loose on some human killer warbands. And if a Marine is sick of their nails completely they can be Removed! The instrument of their torment can be done away with (Chronic pain and migraines remain for most of them but again, far less pain than once was). This new clarity gives them room to reflect. The empire and chaos only found them useful when they were Hurting and Angry constantly. They were never allowed to be anything else. But with the humans here, especially with bonds that can sooth the nails completely, they finally can just....be.

Rating: Laying your head across your bonded humans lap with a fire crackling on a cold night. The scars from the nails twinge for a moment, causing you to hiss. Until your human coos, brushing the hair from your forehead, and at once the pain cools to nothing. You settle, not sure if you deserve this but decide you will accept it. You lean into your humans touch. You are both content.

Space Wolves - If War Hounds are the abused pups learning to love again, Space Wolves are the...Wolves learning to trust/work with humans for the first time. Space Wolves had interactions with humans in their timeline, but only those on their own planet would treat them like normal people. Everywhere else humans saw them as the Emperors Angels. Dangerous and Untouchable. So to have these humans approach them like neither of those groups kinda throws them off. They're not Afraid of them in a broad sense, but they're also not familiar enough yet. The two are finding their footing with eachother. Having a dog gets immediate points with a Space Wolf, they love pups. All shapes and kinds but they obvious lean towards more wolf like breeds. By the same token Space Wolves don't tolerate animal abuse. Any marine type Might decide to kill an animal abuser, a Space Wolf won't hesitate. If you're lucky they'll just steal neglected animals and leave the abuser with some property damage. At worst well...you get the idea.

Rating: Opening up that animal rehab shelter you've always wanted to Not because you thought you were finally  ready...but because your Space Wolf keeps bringing home strays, and neglected animals. But hey, seeing your big guy happily laying in a swarm of pups makes it all worth it. And the time you saw him literally send an abusive owner flying into your trash can for trying to take their dog back.

Death Guard - Weird idea, but they're doing okay. It's just that most of them are feral by choice rather than the Alpha legion's situation. The warp may make their haze of rot less dangerous here, but being near one is still Alot for an average human. Also the cities don't have enough Greenery. So the ferals stick to the forests and overgrown areas. Their presence boosts the cycles of life and decay, and they actually Clean!?!? Well yes, the litter and plastic trash, anything biodegradable can stay...or gets eaten. Yep I see Death Guard as the vultures or millipedes of space marines. They can eat Anything organic, and they enjoy the more fetid pieces. Many humans have been startled to find their garbage being raided after some spoiled leftovers were thrown out. And as far as personality goes they're actually pretty gentle. They see no reason to attack humans, they're natural miasma is still imparting the gifts of Nurgle occasionally so why bother? If a Death Guard bonds to a human that bond is deep and loving. The bond also helps their human resist their smell, and makes the human stronger against the illness miasma. Its not a perfect defense, energy still gets drained, but your Death Guard will always be there to lend a hand, claw, bone growth to help when you need it.

Rating: Hiking through the forest, and suddenly catching an awful smell. Your curiosity bids you follow it, lest it be a hiker that met an ill fate. As you get closer the greenery around you seems to grow larger, and more beautiful with every step. Literally bursting with life. You come to a small open area beneath the trees. The smell is strongest here, and you see a large misshapen green body. It raises its cupped hands, that hold something you can't identify, to a branch. A flower bud slowly opens to full and....a Butterfly flits to the new bloom from his palms. You stand in awe. The shape turns as you watch from behind a tree, your eyes meet through his helmet. You just...stare at eachother. And though you don't notice at the time, the scent no longer has presence in your mind.

Alpha Legion - (Only fitting that I finish off with the legion that gave me my name.) So honestly...kinda struggling. These fellas are so used to spying, and secrecy and playing games of 12D chess (even though doing that wasn't the best choice to begin with but I digress) and now they've been dropped in a place that has...none of that?? They're separated from their spy networks, no matter what side of their Timeline they were fighting on they only really have eachother now. The other legions are Very unwilling to trust them for obvious reasons. And they have a shit time making bonds with humans. Like seriously, f their lives right up. Like at least when they were just a cog in a clusterfuck of war, alliances, battles and betrayals, they didn't have to think and reflect about how Lonely they actually are. But...on the other hand, they're free to do as they please here. Sure the other marines are wary of them, but as long as they don't outright start shit things can go on tense but peaceful. Occasionally snatching some affection while disguised is okay, but still...they want something real. And when they do get that, whether the bond is truly like their fellow marines or slightly different, they Don't let go.

Rating: You came home to an Ultramarine in your house, only it didn't really...act like an ultra marine? It took no interest when you showed it your excel documents, didn't try to organize anything, and shied away from conversing with other loyalists. He Did help you out around the house, and was exceptionally affectionate. Most marines were some flavor of touch starved (except maybe Salamanders), but this seemed excessive. Then one night you woke up, and heard hushed but intense whispering. You peaked out of your bedroom to see your Ultramarine conversing with....himself!? Your eyes did not deceive, and your ears did not lie. Same voice, same armor, down to the same scratches and battle damage...but that was impossible! Your musings were interrupted by one of them getting louder.

"It is still My turn with the mortal!"

"You expanded your timetable in the schedule. That is Unfair brother, and you know it."

"This is not up for discussion, and You cannot be here right now! Do you want us to be thrown out completely!?"

"Maybe if we were simply Honest with them we wouldn't have to worry about that, but You insisted we stick to this charade. Well I'm SICK of it!" The ultra on the right lost his composure, and his form phased and shifted. Royal blue became teal and the helmet shifted to a form more resembling an octopus. An Alpha Legion marine...but that would mean...

The one you assumed to be Your marine spoke up. "Enough! I will not tolerate your insubordination! Leave now!"

The newly shifted marine stood his ground and sneered. "Why don't you Make me brother?!"

"Or you could....Both stay?" The two marines whipped their heads to face you. You stood in your pajamas, as the two armored marines stared in stunned silence.

"I...can explain." Your marine started, but you held up your hand.

"Its okay," You assured him, crossing the distance so you could look him in the eye.  "We do need to talk things over but...I think I understand why you felt you needed to do this." You turned to his brother. " Should've let me know we were having company. I think we could all use some hot chocolate."

Your second space marine perked up. "I hope you have enough supplies for us all."

"Two space marines and a human you mean?"

"Weeeeeell...." Knock, knock, knock. You turned to the door, and your space marine let his disguise shed as he reached for the handle. The door opened to reveal...1,2,3,4...yeah you were gonna need more hot chocolate.

Love these I really do you're making me blush

[yandere-flower]

Hi! Long time fan of yours and I absolutely love reading about your oc's! I wanted to ask: Say Darling is playing a videogame that the yanderes thought was just an action RPG that they've been playing for a while now. Darling has gushed about the cool story and the fleshed out characters that they grew to love, which they think is nice; Darling's having fun and this is a good distraction away from interacting with people. One day, they grew curious enough to watch you play for a bit. 1/3

It starts off like they expected, a lot of fighting and magic, doing quests, yada yada yada. They're about to leave until you reach camp and start talking with some of the characters and suddenly they hear you gasp as one of the NPC's starts talking all sweet to you? As they watch the scene unfold, they are shocked to find out that THIS GAME HAS ROMANCE OPTIONS?! And are you squealing and giggling over what they're saying?! (cough- Baldur's gate COUGH) 2/3

How would they react/feel about this revelation? I doubt any of them is going to be happy about it but would some be petty about it? Would some try to understand why Darling likes that character so much? Would they act differently if Darling was IN a relationship with the yanderes? I personally gush over some of the romantic scenes in games, and Baldur's Gate 3 has such great character interactions that I can't help but love all of them. I hope this isn't too much to ask, thank you! 3/3"

I knew this was about Baldurs Gate immediately cause same...only doing the boys here since it'll get long but let me know if you want the girls version!

Sawyer- He plays video games but isn't quite into the culture as isn't into turn based as much so he's like "sure whatever can we play together". Very slow at learning and will cast fireball on you and kill you constantly because he doesn't understand. But has so much fun being a nuance to the NPCs, and the moment he accidentally flirts with someone he goes full panic mode and starts apologizing, refuses to romance anyone. Is a bit peeved why you romance, but won't stop you. He does try to understand why however, and gets a little huffy at each romance scene. Also slightly makes fun of your choices. Will try and shove them off the edge when you're not looking.

Desmond - This man has not touched a game....ever, but he's happy to see you're happy and actually a little glad you're so engrossed in some that keeps you indoors and away from people. I actually thing that Desmond wouldn't care? He knows it's fictional, it'll hopefully get you in the mood, and he likes how if he asks you some thing about the game, you'll gush to him for hours. He still has you. But depending on your romance choice he might get curious why you chose that

Mizu - This fucker has already completely a playthough, bought you a custom cosplay of Shadowhearts camp clothes, and constantly wants to roleplay with you. But also gets insanely upset if you so much as mention your romance option and will make fun of all the characters you like. Makes you stop your own playthough so you two can play co-op and he can "watch you".

Cliff - Has no interest in playing, but is familiar with DND back when it was popular when he was a child. Still not super interested, but he likes hearing you be passionate about something. If you mention your romance option he'll perk up a bit, get cheeky, and start to mimic the things you like if it aligns with him. Obviously expects you to romance Halsin though because he likes to imagine there are similarities....

Antonio - I'm torn, cause I do think he'll like the game but I also think he's a bit jealous of your time and will only let you play it with him "so I can share your hobby and see you get excited is all!" Will try and argue that you shouldn't have that character cause it's not good for your party comp, or try and disrupt your romance scenes. He wants to appear like a good sport, but very obviously isn't

Ezra- He hates it. He doesn't understand video games, but he likes seeing you happy. You should be hanging out with him though, and he knows there is co op but he's terrible at it and clearly isn't having fun. He seethes and mopes the entire time you play, and almost cries if you talk about your romance option. Why aren't any of them sweet or kind or like him?? Do you not like him??

[cosmichighpriestess]

Be what you know you are Let Go and BE.

I think people can become very surprised and lost even devastated when their old world comes crashing down on itself because they were not following their highest excitement and everything based off false foundations came crumbling down on itself because nothing based on love and truth was holding it in place.

They attempt to go back to their old life, old ways, their old career and look for a new job in the same field that were not truly inspired by to begin with. Did you really think you had to kill yourself to live a successful life? God said, Rest and put all your burdens at my feet and know that until you feel inspired, that is the only time to do something. Your heart is always knocking at your door. It will only continue to get louder and louder until you finally answer the door.

You will be molded and created brand new and morph into your higher self when you rest and follow your highest excitement every moment, that is your job, to be yourself, rest when you are burdened and follow your high excitement when you're not resting and taking care of your immediate responsibilities like pets or children. Do the things you don't enjoy and see them neutrally, in a nonjudgmental way with unconditional love, see them through the perspective of God and you will no longer be in your non preferred reality. You will no longer be that other version--you stepped out of it. Then say from that higher perspective, " what is the lesson that you wish to learn, what are you attempting to teach yourself through these actions?" Then you will actually be able to see it the way Source sees it.

You are allowed to ask for help and be a little selfish especially now in the year 2024. When you have to quit your job or you're let go, or a relationship fails, or meditation, praying and old spiritual practices quote on quote "fail", realize this is not failure but rather indicates a graduation to a new state of consciousness, you no longer are in alignment with what previously worked so well. It's indicative of where you are consciously when you think you have to work hard or struggle for something you already carry within you to create. Your soul is already rich and abundant you just need to recognize the abundance already around you and the Universe will spoil you with riches. You always have been worthy without having to suffer for it.

This is the nature of the structure of existence. Remember when something feels bad, when we're experiencing sickness, disease, sadness, pain, suffering, lack, negativity, loneliness, grief, "death" ect. Remember, It's not the truth. Nothing is real except love, peace, abundance, harmony, joy, bliss ect. All Negativity is an illusion based from a third dimensional perspective level of consciousness.

There is NO divine law supporting these things, these are not God ordained concepts, these are human constructs because they are all an illusion in this simulation because God consciousness does not have ideas of lack and limitation. God is not judging you as "an old man with a beard sitting up there in the clouds", God alone IS, You are the wholeness of God, God is not made from man. you are judging yourself, your higher self is the only one judging your physical self. God is not a man sitting in the clouds telling you that you were "bad" or "good". You have free will and everything in this Universe is neutral to begin with and meaningless. Nothing has meaning until you assign it a meaning as either positive or negative. When you accept both experiences as beneficial for you to learn from you become more grateful for each experience and graduate to another level.

We must let go of the obsolete religious and metaphysical teachings telling you to pray this way or that, do this to be spiritual etc. in order to obtain what you believe you or others need. Everything is already spiritual just by existing. Because everything is Source. You cannot pray for peace in the world, and see change outside of you, you must recognize and realize the peace within you and you will shift to a more peaceful world on a parallel reality version of Earth. You only experience the reality you believe you know as truth that you prefer. You must believe nothing bad is happening on your planet. Truth must become in your state of consciousness before it can manifest outwardly.

There are still many old energies that are intense and extremely painful that are being cleared now by being recreated in your simulation such as a lifetime of abuse because you are more spiritually empowered and emotionally prepared now and you are able to re-experience the energy in some form, recognize it for what it represents, and fully release it from your consciousness which never dies, just keeps ascending into the higher dimensions.

If someone or some organization is controlling you or abusing you, there is no Divine Law supporting that behavior, that does not come from God and you have every right to stop giving that person your energy and power over you and leave somewhere you won't be manipulated and controlled anymore. Your true underlying energy is always happy, always has been pure love, always in bliss. Any negativity you experience is not who you are and never has been.

You are apart of Source pretending to be human on this rollercoaster called life on Earth and you are here to enjoy meeting different versions of yourself in everything you meet, you are here to be love and enjoy this rollercoaster because you have no agenda. You are here to enjoy the ride and take in all the experiences in your kingdom you created.

[blueikeproductions]

So the original pitch bible for Transformers Prime was revealed, its prototypical stage was called Robots in Disguise funnily enough, and I’m mixed on what I’ve seen.

Let’s be clear, Prime is ok, but I’ve always found it bland. Flash over substance, best remembered for being gritty and violent with little to say outside of that becoming a forced amalgam of what came before, while its true saving grace being it got Peter Cullen and Frank Welker back on TV in their best known roles. It never knew what it wanted to be, and it’s why I preferred RiD15 since, while far more “kiddy”, I respect a show that at least knows what it is sincere about it.

With that in mind, the concept art oddly feels more cohesive than Prime. The general gist was pretty unabashedly Bayformers: The Animated Series and to a degree I’m surprised they didn’t just do that with NEST, Sam & Mikayla instead of trying to make douchebag hacker Spike a thing.

Indeed, Spike was originally meant as the lead human, described as a rebellious hacker seeking the truth, and one day discovers a Transformer. While there’s no design drawn, reference photos use what looks like stereotypical teens from the 2000’s, ranging from a skateboarder to a grungy emo teen that reminds me of douchebag SM3 Peter with the symbiote. Going by the description and visuals, Spike was evidently split apart into Jack, Raf and Miko, which might explain why they never worked… at least to me. They became a fragment of Spike’s original personality and never fully grew beyond that, when keeping them a single character might’ve been far more interesting.

It appears NEST inspired TASK, no idea what it stands for, but they were similarly a military unit aligned with the Autobots. A female love interest was sketched out, though frankly with how masculine the sketch looks, I keep thinking it’s a guy. Sort of the reverse TF Zone Akira (looks like a girl, is actually a dude). Frankly I say keep the military person a love interest and make ’em a dude: let’s get Akira and Cain up in here with it lol. (I know they weren’t officially a couple, but I still think it’s funny. Plus a version of Spike with a boyfriend could be fun as something different.)

Anyhow, a big emphasis was humanity joining the fight, as well as how they’d react to the TF’s Great War. This didn’t really make it into the final product beyond Prime and RiD’s over fixation on hiding the robots (when in both cases it was becoming increasingly hard to believe people didn’t see anything or just shrugged it off. Though RiD at least had some funny bits poking fun at this I liked.) TASK was basically NEST, and in some cases was just one letter away from just becoming MASK. …Which leads into the toy aspect.

I think had they played their cards right with this early pitch, they could’ve had Autobots, Decepticons, and TASK/MASK transforming vehicles. A huge emphasis was placed on Optimus having specialized trailers, all seemingly based on the Armada and Prime Force drones from Energon to some extent. There was the base trailer that unfolded into a military platform for Autobots and humans to use, a drill trailer for Energon mining, a submarine trailer for water missions, I think I saw a jet trailer, and a tank trailer. It appears they could all Transform to some extent, even becoming armor for other characters to combine with. They evoke the later Cyberverse Spark Armor vehicle combinations with a dash of ROTF Jet Optimus, so the concept made it out just not in Proto-Prime lol.

There was also a proposed Energon Weapon gimmick that strongly resembles the RB style Energon Tools gimmick, so presumably it too got repurposed.

Curiously there’s a LOT of concept art of the Autobots in underwater missions, wearing armor that resembles the submarine armor TFA Bumblebee toy. One concept art drawing features a giant robot manta-fish guy, who I’m assuming was a Seacon or a Sharkticon of some sort. The later TFP prequel stuff that did get made involves an adventure on Aquatron, with Megatron becoming a liberator of the Sharkticons, so I guess that’s where that came from? Megatron even got a Sharkticon inspired toy to boot. I suppose it’s ironic we have all this water business but no one thought to include guys like Sea Spray (and NOT kill him off screen). The robot designs were all over the place. A lot of art mostly uses stylized G1 designs, but the proposed designs were a stronger hybrid of the movies and G1, as opposed to what we got which was purely movie inspired with a dash of Animated. It’s funny to me that after years of praise for Prime’s art style, upon seeing the concept art, it’s now ok to absolutely dunk on Prime. Megatron is the stand out for many, being a hybrid of his WFC, body, his Cybertron Mode Animated body and his Revenge of the Fallen bodies. His vehicle mode was a tank, instead of the first Bayformer space jet thing. He also had what I think might have been a battle axe on his back. It’s definitely cooler than what we got, and I get a strong sense it might crop up as a toy in a future Concept Art Studio Series release. The other designs I think got repurposed though. Bee’s design looks to be what eventually became RiD15, CV and ES Bee, Starscream became RiD15 Screamer, Soundwave’s Earth Mode became RiD15 and CV Soundwave. I genuinely believe RiD15 was where some of these designs were saved lol. Optimus was pry the more G1 looking, with the look possibly influencing his CV and RBA bodies. Soundwave had an alternate design that was his ROTF design, but with Fixit’s wheel feet. I personally hate this look, buts pretty clear ROTF Soundwave was still a huge influence for what became the final and genuinely popular TFP Soundwave design. Ironhide was one of the main Autobots along with Ratchet, both being heavily influenced by their Movie selves, like what would’ve happened with TFA Ironhide and TFA Ratchet. I suppose the funny thing is the Ironhide design made it through, becoming Kup in the American release but staying Ironhide in the Japanese release. Still, the designs were very rough, and as much as people seem to be more for them, they’re too busy and are still clearly finding a balance in what they wanted. I think had they refined it a bit more we could’ve had the perfect Godzilla: The Animated Series equivalent to the original Bayformers. Alas we got Prime, while well intentioned was a show that coasted hard on being dark and gritty, shackled to continued unpopular modern ideas that’s only held TF down than uplift it. I think at the very least EarthSpark is a better version of Prime’s ideas even if I don’t agree with its execution.

[animehouse-moe]

Cinderella Closet Volume 1: Setting The Stage

I love series that challenge gender norms and conventional approaches to sexuality. I love series that have a wide range of style and clothing for the character. And I love cute and fun series. Cinderella Closet checks all those boxes with a modern and fun story that doesn't hide behind stereotypes or cliches in much of any facet.

So, what's it about? Haruka's a freshly 20-year old university student living in Tokyo, who exists in the shadows of the dreams she had for her future. She doesn't have a boyfriend, she's not "trendy", and she's not incredibly popular. Then comes along a golden opportunity to go out with her work crush. But, I mean, have you seen what she looks like? The situation's real dire, so by chance Haruka runs into Hikaru, and the stars align for a fairy godmother to take the stage and turn Haruka into Cinderella.

Cinderella Closet revolves around the dynamic of stylish and chic Hikaru coaxing (though more like wrenching) Haruka out from within her shell. There's not a huge amount of details in regards to the fashion, but they more than provide various details and the reasoning behind dressing Haruka as they do.

More than that though, it's a commentary on the power of fashion and beauty that exists. I think it works really well given Hikaru and Haruka as opposites. The first being the man that dresses as a beautiful woman, and the woman that has a hard time being perceived as one normally. Each have ways in which they remain alienated from self-acceptance and confidence, but through fashion as a medium they're able to find the ability to stand tall and be proud of themselves, and confidently declare that they're beautiful.

And I think that's really all there is to say with any profound statement. It's reclaiming the beauty standards placed on women as a form of empowerment and confidence, and is making a damn cute pass at it as well. Haruka is helplessly funny without any intention of being so, and Hikaru plays a great straight man to her act. The two get on like a house on fire, and while it might seem a little odd based on the time that elapses between interactions and the like, I really enjoy the various moments that they show.

What I think sells it for me is how Haruka views Hikaru, and how Hikaru treats Haruka. It has nothing to do with gender or sexuality, and instead is a bond formed through their shared passions and interests, and is expressed as such. Hikaru sees how much of a great person Haruka is, and tries to protect her while giving her that push in the back she needs. And Haruka just does what anyone should do for Hikaru, treats them like a normal person. It doesn't matter that they're a man, it doesn't matter that they enjoy dressing as a woman, and anything else in-between is about as insignificant as Hikaru wants it to be.

It's really great, and represents this very unique two-way street where each person approaches it differently. They each adore each other because they embody what the other desires. Haruka sees Hikaru as the pinnacle of fashion and beauty, and aspires to reach their levels of confidence and pride that they carry themselves with. Meanwhile Hikaru sees Haruka as a version of themselves. A version that is wary about being themselves, but at the end of the day is able to spread their wings and fly. Despite neither being perfect or what they believe the other person wants them to be, they both see a light in the other that they can't find in themselves.

Okay, enough of the big talk, let's get some fun stuff in here! I loved the jokes and (attempt at) modern humor in the manga. I think the translator struggled a little with some pieces, but nonetheless we get straight up memes in this first volume (have to use a picture of the physical manga as fan and official TL differ on this dialogue).

Also, absolutely credit to this random guy, he knows where it's at.

And just to finish it off, some housekeeping. Given that it's adults in the story here, it's enjoyably spicy about it. Not that anything happens, but they're comfortable in sharing what's typically considered more "adult" information. In that sense, I think the tertiary interactions of Hikaru, and Haruka's boyfriend/crush Kurotaki are really nice. There's a good air of hostility and some decent common ground found through Hikaru's defense of Haruka.

Cinderella Closet certainly takes a bit of time getting moving, but I can appreciate that it works to establish solid footing before running away with it. You don't get reveals right away, confrontation doesn't turn into conflict immediately, and feelings are made crystal clear at the drop of the hat. In opposition though, fashion is apparent throughout, and is used both as a tool and a weapon in countless ways. Putting it together, it gives you something that has a solid thread to follow, but isn't afraid of reaching out from it to explore other pieces.

[sunlitmcgee]

 Hello! This is a ramble-style masterpost type thing about the version of c!Benchtrio that is in my fic “Heal What Has Been Hurt.” It is filled with headcanons, ramblings, interpretations and general behind the scenes things that I’ve had in mind when it comes to how I write them and their various gender presentations throughout the course of the fic.

 I’d like to say that I am a GNC fem-presenting AFAB transman. This is just something to keep in mind when it comes to my thoughts and opinions on the concept of gender, gender identity and presentation. If anything here doesn’t align with your personal experiences, that’s okay! Just please don’t be an asshole, because this is based upon MY experiences with gender identity and is inherently quite personal for me.

 Another thing I’d like to say is that while the majority of what I say here is related to my AU fic, some things reflect my feelings around DSMP canon and my perspectives of the characters 

I always wanna remind that HWHBH!Benchtrio’s relationship is strictly queerplatonic and that anything described here is not meant to be taken as romantic or heaven’s for-fucking-bid sexual. If you think something here is…just….keep it to yourself and don’t say it to me. Pretty fuckin please.

 And on that last note, nothing here is meant to apply to ANY of the CCs who created these characters. This is about the characters and ONLY the characters. This isn’t a place for truthing or whatever. Get the fuck outta here with dat shit.

Don’t be weird, ya dumb piece of cu-

Let’s get into it, shall we!

 For starters, let’s start off with the basic idea that, to me, Mister Author Man, whose opinions on these characters obviously shape the way I write them but shouldn’t be taken as the word of god when it comes to vague stuff that’s more open to interpretation, all 3 of HWHBH!Benchtrio embody a sort of “archetype” of masculinity. A different flavor, one might say. Their presentations and performances of the concept vary, but the core idea of “man-ess” is present in all 3, albeit to varying extents.

 If we want to go in order from “most masc” to “least masc” in terms of traditional ideas/roles, then let’s begin with our darling little draggie goat HWHBH!Tubbo.

 HWHBH!Tubbo is buff.

 HWHBH!Tubbo is fat, muscular, and heavy set.

 HWHBH!Tubbo is short but built like a full-grown bull, horns and muscles and all.

 And above all else, HWHBH!Tubbo is the member of the trio that to me embodies the sort of masculinity that I shall lovingly deem “The Stronk Guy.”

 When it comes to how he’s dressed/often described, you rarely see HWHBH!Tubbo in anything traditionally feminine. He wears tank-tops, button-ups, heavy coats and thick winter pants. He wears overalls,which are a very boyish sort of clothing item commonly associated with the American South and physical labor, usually on a farm. The two sets of horns of his head make up for his generally short stature, making him seem as tall as he is wide, thus increasing the intimidating presence he has thanks to his claws, scales, wings and oh yeah constant smoke that pours out from every hole on his round little face. Round face=wide facial features=square shape. Squares in terms of character design are often used for characters that are sturdy and strong with a big presence in the scenes they’re in. Another very “macho” trait. Manly men get your attention as soon as they are in the room.

 Out of the 3, Tubbo is the one that works out the most.

 He is the one who performs most maintenance-based tasks around the house, such as repairing furniture. 

 He helps with the farms in Snowchester and lifts many heavy tools.

 He’s the one that gets a spider out of the house when it scares Michael when he goes to lay in his little race car bed.

 He picks both of HWHBH!Alliumduo up like they weigh nothing.

 And he is the one that makes Tommy go from “C!Tommy if he had proper therapy” to “stereotypical young teen girl swooning over her popular jock crush in an early 2000’s disney channel original movie” thanks to those burly arms of his. He has a way. With the Tommy.

 Boy could snap you like a motherfucking glowstick-

 Basically, when in regards to his gender and overall presentation, HWHBH!Tubbo is the kind of boy who is best at home in himself when he can go at with his power tools in the lab and go home wiping the sweat from his brow to his two lovely partners so that he can eat dinner, help with all the dishes, take a bath and kiss both his children’s foreheads, then flop himself onto the bed and hug both of his platonic husband’s.

 He isn’t a very girly boy.

 And that is okay!

 HWHBH!Tubbo doesn’t feel drawn to most typical “girly” things. He mostly wears earth-tones along with his coats and leather jackets. He likes flowers, yeah. But everyone likes flowers! And he cannot cook for shit, so in his mind, he really isn’t the “”lady”” of this household.

 (Any usage of words like “woman”, “man”, lady-like or “manly” here are intended to refer to the traditional stereotypical Western ideas behind gender and gender roles. Just as a friendly reminder!)

 But there’s a reason behind heal!Tubbo’s specific brand of manliness that isn’t just his personal preference. Think back to Manburg. Pogtopia era. Think back to the time when c!Tubbo served as a political spy during a time of war against a nation that was ruled by c!Schlatt: a bumbling idiot obsessed with “gains” and protein powder who constantly hurled verbal abuse and beat down on anyone who defied him, be it physically with his hands or politically through various abuses of authority.

c!Schlatt is an almost Comical icon of toxic masculinity. Loud. Harsh. Always quick to Anger. Aggressive and self absorbed. Dismissive of the emotions of others including his own and valuing raw strength and power above all else. On several occasions, there were scenes where he’d directly attack the masculinity of the cabinet members, be it telling c!Fundy(a transman!) that he’ll “never be a man” or talking down to c!Tubbo and calling him weak, soft, cowardly and all manner of insults commonly hurled at people our society sees as men who don’t conform to a rigid binary.

 With hwhbh!Tubbo, he has taken that weakness that an abuser saw in him and Embraced it for the strength it actually is. He is soft. He’s fat with a big round belly! He’s physically strong, yes, again, bulk like a tank. But in terms of his emotions, by Schlatt’s standards, he’s much Weaker than he used to be because of how open and vulnerable he is: and that’s a Good Thing.

 Manliness isn’t toughing it out and beating down on anyone that defies you. Manliness is giving your 2 kids 20 kisses on they little heads as you hold them to your chest and carry them upstairs for bedtime.

Manliness is Softness.

Manliness is Openness.

Manliness is Gentleness.

Manliness can let you Heal.

 Let’s talk about heal!Ranboo. Much like Tubbo, Ranboo has a pretty typically masculine presentation. He wears suits, formal vests, sweaters and button-ups, but has a dash of more feminine apparel with his various earrings and rings and necklaces that contrast to the lone wedding bane and bee-charm bracelet we see on heal!Tubbo.

 Fashion aside, heal!Ranboo’s sheer height makes him stick out like a sore thumb. He’s a tall, thin creature with long, gangly limbs and shiny scales. He’s a fighter! He knows how to handle himself in a scuffle. He prefers to use his words and to avoid fighting via diplomacy, but he is not afraid to use violence(or at the very least Threaten To) when it comes to Clingyduo or his children. It’s best to say he simply has a bit more self Restraint than Tubbo. But only Just.

 heal!Ranboo is the middle child of heal!Benchtrio. Despite this, he is the universally agreed upon “mature one” and often takes the role of the “””straight””” man compared to clingyduo’s goofy mischief.

 With this notable maturity, Healboo, like his counterpart in canon, takes it upon himself to be the household’s main Provider. He’s the breadwinner. The moneymaker. The one who goes out each day to work and toil in the mines to gather resources to bring home. He brings home the bacon! Therefore, he is also the one in charge of the family’s Finances. His name is on the contract for the mansion’s construction. There were many jokes about c!Tubbo being a golddigger, way back when the two first got married. I see no reason to say that there weren’t similar jokes made between the two when they first got together in HWHBH.

 Financial control is a right that’s long been limited to men. Men do the work, pay the bills, own the house and make the Big Choices for a family.

 Going back to the point about his skills in combat, it is traditionally a Man’s job to protect his family. It’s Man’s Work to be tough and fend off the danger. The man brings home the Kill(money and household finances) while the woman cooks, cleans, raises the children and provides whatever Affection her husband may require. Golddiggers, as a concept, are women who specifically seek out Wealthy Men to reap the riches from this(very harmful) arrangement.

 But all of this hinges on the idea that a man is a tough, strong, scary, loud go-getter who’ll lash out at any opportunity to climb up The Ladder ™. 

If not that, then a wealthy man is one who has to be Smart. Clever. Good with his words. A charmer. A suave, dapper figure in fitted clothes with well-kept hair. A man with visible wealth in the form of pretty jewelry. A tall, dark and handsome kind of fella. A princely sort! This type of Man is one you see at gentlemen’s clubs and cashios who most certainly is inclined towards the academics.

 hwhbh!Ranboo is. Basically that. He’s just transmasc. And aromantic asexual. And platonically gay. And riddled with 70 flavors of psychosis that’s worsened by his severe anxiety, paranoia and memory issues.

 (hwhbh!Ranboo is, specifically, a young trans man who had his body hijacked and controlled by an older man in a position of authority who used that control to abuse him and his loved ones. Just a side note to think about)

 Basically, hwhbh!Ranboo has the Aesthetics of the “tall, dark and handsome and filthy Rich suave ladies man” type of manhood…just as a paint over a very anxious, very emotionally-driven young queer boy.

 He spoils his beloveds. He coddles and pampers them. He is a partner who finds joy in showering his qpps with material gifts In Tandum with his physical affection and words of praise. In many “traditional”(read: sexist and fucked up) circles, this would make him someone who is perceived as Weak. He’d be Emasculated for his behavior.

 But ofc, he’d be denied his manhood in the first place in these types of circle, because being trans, heal!Ranboo’s masculinity is one Directly in contrast to the roles he’d be put into on the basis of his birth sex. 

 That makes you think: maybe there’s a reason Ranboo sticks to very masculine dress when he’s out and about, and only wears stuff like dresses and skirts when he’s at home with his two partners. People he trusts. People he feels safe around.

 heal!Ranboo is a breadwinner/provider who turns to those he provides for for comfort and safety.

Manliness is seeking Comfort.

Manliness is not viewing your Fears as a Flaw.

Manliness is indulging in self Expression that makes you feel the most like Yourself.

Manliness is showing Love to those you care for.

Manliness is Caring.

Manliness is Gentleness. 

 Now. Let’s talk about the main character protagonist himself. c!Tommy. The boy. The guy himself. The most character ever of all time in the history of anything.

 hwhbh!Tommy is, to put it simply: A pretty boy.

 He’s very pretty! He’s got long hair that goes well past his shoulders, shiny blue eyes, a lean(for the most part) figure that makes him rather petite next to Beeduo, and a pair of earthy brown wings that have flecks of gold on each feather. He wears skirts, dresses, lace, silk and cardigans. Most of his outfits have either natural earthy tones(greens, blues, browns, etc) or brighter pastels(purple, pink, white etc). He wears jewelry. He had butterfly pins that he bought from Claries. 

 On top of that, he’s got a shit ton of plushies, blankets, pillows and general soft cutesie comfort items. Plushie Henry is a big one.

 He’s got many traditionally girly hobbies and interests. Knitting. Sewing. Cooking/baking. Gardening. He loves to sing and likes to read about the symbolism of different flowers. He’s made a point for there to be plenty of plant life in the Big Innit such as in the lobby and connected cafe. While video games are stereotype as being a “boys’ thing”, one of heal!Tommy’s favorite games is OMORI, which is a game with a very cutesy art style that consists of soft pastel colors and a cute, feel good ost. Again. Very girly, very pretty.

 heal!Tommy is a character that I’ve given a lot of my Personal Gender Stuff as a transguy who found myself leaning into a lot of girly cutesy feminine things when I was first recovering from my trauma. For me, it was a matter of being able to indulge in media/hobbies/aesthetics that gave me a sense of comfort and safety while also further allowing me to explore my gender. 

 For hwhbh!Tommy, it’s a matter of him finally being able to indulge in what gives him the most joy without being hurt for it: loving things, loving people, and caring for them. Being a nurturer.

Who sings to the flowers to help them grow?

Who made a Prime Path and keeps it maintained?

Who inspired Wilbur Soot to make L’manburg, acting as a sibling’s muse?

Who fills the server with music? With song?

Who reaches out and tries to mend broken relationships?

Who forgives?

Who tries his very best to understand, even when it hurts him more?

Who is the person that takes care of the server? 

 c!Tommy is a character who is Driven by Love. Platonic love. Familial Love. This boy loves and he loves to SHOW his love to people by caring for them in whatever way he is able to. He isn’t always the best at it. He is often brash and harsh and loud and blunt and yes, annoying. He’s a little shit.

 He’s weird in a weird little girl way.

 He is also an incredibly caring, sweet, emotionally intelligent person who always puts the needs of others First Before His own, often always to his own detriment. Caring for cWilbur in Pogtopia. Reaching out to cBeeduo during the outpost. Forgiving cEmeraldduo, time and time again. Asking his abuser “why don’t you hurt” while in the prison.

 In my experience as an AFAB individual, women* (*or people society views as women) are expected to 1: keep their own emotions bottled up and tend to the emotional needs of others around them, 2: be quiet, submissive, polite and “ladylike” 24/7 constantly. Or else we will be labeled as annoying hysterical bitches who are just looking for attention.

 Sound familiar?

 In HWHBH, Tommy’s gradual shift from his original masculine presentation of a plain t shirt and pants to his current mix of sweaters, skirts and dresses is a visual way to show his shift throughout his recovery.

At the start of the fic, Tommy was still riding the aftershocks of his near-death in the prison. He wore simple clothes, lived in an empty house, hardly ate, slept and was unable to take care of himself. The entire first chapter is XD watching him nearly freeze to death because he wandered out into the forest without a coat while dissociating. His hair was thin and cut short. He thought that beeduo wanted nothing to do with him. He was unwell. He was alone.

 But look at him now. Long, thick hair. Healthy diet. Gained some weight. (Mostly) healthy sleep schedule. Lots of family members and friends he talks to daily, either in person or over the phone.

He has a garden.

He sings to the flowers.

He sings constantly.

He is always singing or talking or downing something. He enjoys doing chores. He thinks it’s fun.

 Throughout the entirety of the DSMP storyline, c!Tommy was punished for Wanting. For wanting People. For wanting to be Loved. For wanting TO love without having whatever/whoever he cared about taken away. Now he has a child(2 actually, he’s just silly and hasn’t realized it) and a father and 2 platonic partners who love him dearly. He has hobbies and favorite TV shows. He grows his hair out, wears skirts and plays with his father’s make-up. He gets flustered when Beeduo call him pretty or beautiful. He watches Sailor Moon. He made an oc self insert for it. He regularly daydreams about heal!beeduo being tuxedo mask the same way a female lead in a teen romcom talks about going on cheesy dates with her crush. He has a flower cow with buttercups on it. 

 Michael calling him Mummy and Shroud calling him Mimi doesn’t need an explanation, I feel.

 For a character whose main joke catchphrase is some variation of “I’m a Big Man”, cTommy really is very Girl Coded. Hwhbh!Tommy is just the result of me taking that and amplifying it for the sake of comedy and fluff. Mostly fluff. Because I think he’s a character who deserves the softness that can come from “girl stuff” and things we commonly associate with femininity.

Masculinity and Femininity and all forms of gender stuff and gender expression are, at the end of the day, just made up gobbledy gook we humans made up in the same way we made up shit like Money and Language. But I still like to talk about them, because it’s a topic I find to be very interesting and important when it comes to storytelling.

Manliness is Nurturing.

Manliness is Loyalty.

Manliness is the capacity to care for and protect and fight for what you value the most.

Manliness is the attempt, however vain, to understand the people around you(though ofc, there are always times when you shouldn’t because it isn’t Safe for you)

Manliness, like Womanliness, is whatever YOU want to make of it. Same with any other clusterfuck of a queer identity. 

I just think that hwhbh!Benchtrio’s gender stuff is fun to talk about. I hope you enjoyed reading about it :)

[schismusic]

Ripping it up and starting again with Depeche Mode

A version of this post existed a month ago already. It was supposed to be a piece more in the vein of the Lou X one, but I decided not to post it because it was really bad from a moral standpoint. So back to the drawing board we go. Which is very funny to me because Depeche Mode's career seems entirely based on that, trial-and-error, or more exactly successive approximations. Vince Clarke leaves them, they start from square one again with Martin Gore as lead songwriter. Alan Wilder leaves them, they start kind-of-sort-of where they left off. Andy Fletcher dies, they finish up the record and it's actually good, which surprises many, myself included. Andy Fletcher's death, as terrible as it is to say out loud, was that extra push I needed to actually get my ass onto Depeche Mode for real and not just as vestigial remains of something my mom told me once when I was like five.

Rationally, I kind of just thought Depeche Mode were some run-of-the-mill synthpop band who nailed a couple songs here and there, and depending who you ask that might even be the case, so when I was 16 my initial reaction was something along the lines of "okay so aesthetically they're slightly edgier than Talk Talk, aka the renowned and incontestable pinnacle of '80s synthpop, that's cute, anyway back to The Colour of Spring" which in retrospect makes me want to slap myself across the face. And it's definitely not Talk Talk's fault, believe me, not one bad record except maybe The Party's Over but y'know, growing pains! The one thing I'll allow artists, but not myself. Until at one point my mom goes "hey, can you make me a CD for the car? I want Stairway to Heaven in it." For reference, my mom basically had no clue who the fuck Led Zeppelin were until my old band decided we actually were crazy enough to try playing Stairway to Heaven to an actual human audience — and for some reason my mom liked our version better. Damn, being sixteen and vaguely cute really lets you get away with some crazy shit. But yeah, I had seven minutes filled, alright - what do I fill the CD with? I knew that my mom is, usually, more aligned to my music tastes than my dad is (I think I actually showed my mom '90s Swans and System of a Down on two separate occasions, somehow not getting consequently, uh, retroactively aborted) and I knew my mom liked bands like Duran Duran and Depeche Mode back in the '80s, so what the fuck, let's google "depeche mode" and see what pulls up.

Take a wild guess what pulled up.

And ironically, even that didn't entirely stick the landing. I had this whole ass conversation with my friend R. about how Depeche Mode's production decisions were dated "but like in an iconic way and unintrusive" or some backwards ass shit, I don't even know, I guess I was trying to justify myself for not liking a fucking record as much as I expected (????) and into the mnemonic toilet it went. Until March 2023 rolls along and at A.'s birthday, on the Bluetooth boombox that A. never separates from, this plays:

And it was, again, cute, right. It's dated in a very endearing way that makes it somewhat compelling. And so was Strangelove, which for some reason felt like a natural next step to take from there, but nothing else came of it. I never went out and listened to the singles, minus some of the ones I'd known as a kid: in case you're wondering, they were Peace and Blasphemous Rumours, which are definitely not babby's first Depeche Mode songs. For some reason I still couldn't cut the same slack I'd been cutting for — again — Talk Talk, whom I still love dearly. Maybe it was just a question of time, or simply of just learning to get along with the fact that things age. For some reason it took me a good five to seven years to actually realize that, god damn!, I'd never listened to a full Depeche Mode album before. So since I'm a smartass and it has an edgy title, I started out on Black Celebration and it's good, don't get me wrong, but definitely not the best possible starting point for Depeche Mode I think? If you're looking for veritable bangers front-to-back maybe go for Violator, or Songs of Faith and Devotion if you're feeling like some extra zest. But whatever, I don't know what the fuck happened that day in the car. Anyway that's how I came across my favourite Depeche Mode song, which on my worst days still gets me if it catches me off guard.

And that's what made it click, for some fucking reason. Real talk — it barely gets any more stereotypically '80s than the single mix of this song, and yet here I am bopping my shit to the beat, genuinely rocked to my socks and in a frenzy. Add to that this interesting conversation I had with this friend of A.'s, a Russian girl who immediately charmed me with her wits and unique makeup game (on a different occasion she referred to a Soviet-era children's TV show called Приключения Буратино — "priklyucheniya Buratino", which translates to "The adventures of Buratino" — as a major inspiration point for her aesthetic choices). For a very peculiar coincidence, it turned out that most of the people at the party were of Eastern European descent to some degree, and when A Question of Time played literally every single one of these people popped up saying "damn, my mom loved Depeche Mode" and this here girl I was talking about told me that back in the '90s, I'm talking immediate post-USSR years, her mom once got detention because on a school trip to Belarus she skipped class to go buy Depeche Mode posters at a newspaper stand. So since I'm very normal about this kinda stuff, I obviously went back home and googled "depeche mode russia", which led me to this here Dazed article which in turn led me to depeche.ru, a small miracle of a Web 2.0 time capsule where a treasure trove of pictures taken by Russian and Eastern European fans of Depeche Mode from the mid-'80s all the way to 2006 — last update of the site so far.

The beautiful thing about Depeche Mode is exactly this: the fact that they aren't afraid of being endearing and even vulnerable to an extent. It's hard to think of a rock act as big as Depeche Mode are that's able to pull that stuff with aplomb: Springsteen, maybe? I'm not expecting Metallica, Green Day or Kid Rock to ever put out anything that competes with Nebraska — or even Born to Run, just to be fair to everyone involved. And it cracks me the fuck up that someone would think that Springsteen is anywhere close to the hard-rock-minded hard-headed bastard that his fans on average are: which admittedly is a very wooden and unfortunate way of tying together Depeche Mode and Springsteen, but they were for me. Nebraska and Songs of Faith and Devotion came to me almost simultaneously, as the result of a musical discovery that saw me navigating a moment of true crisis, a moment where once again the answer was: ignore the noise. Rip it up and start again. And that third verse on Atlantic City very gracefully paired up with a track like Walking in My Shoes because they are unapologetic in their presentation, direct and deceptively raw — all qualities that all rockers like to pretend they have, but that very few people are able to properly handle, let alone effectively weaponise. They hide nothing, and yet find a specific, unique perspective on feelings that at some point bite any and everyone of us. It's insane to me that the most blue-collar of all the classic rockers, the one guy who never really lost touch with what he represents and stands for, and what some people still derogatorily refer to as "a synthpop band" managed to stumble upon such similarly expressive aesthetic markers at similarly crucial moments in their respective careers. And both things mean the world to all fans involved, because they remain in touch, they know themselves and who's coming to the shows — which warrants a constant stream of new people. "What you see is what you get" is not about repetitiveness: like it was meant to be for Sonic the Hedgehog, it may be a statement of intent and transparency, something simultaneously simpler and deeper than shallowness can ever allow for.

(On an unrelated note, I would literally kill for Springsteen's Butterscotch Blonde Telecaster, and while I perfectly know that's the most basic possible Telecaster color and literally any other American-made Butterscotch Blonde Fender Telecaster would potentially have the same aesthetic and practical functions as Springsteen's, it's a bit like that Borges story where he meets himself but forty years younger: sure, it's the same, but ever so slightly different in a way that feels a bit uncomfortable or counterfeit. Telecasters are great guitars. Rationally speaking if I had the money I would probably go with something with humbuckers on, but fuck me, that twang is something else.)

Necessarily, this entails the ability to pick up the pieces no matter what gets thrown your way, and rearrange them at the best of your abilities. And it's hard. Legitimately speaking, I don't think neither of the parties involved (including, possibly as the biggest offender, Sonic the Hedgehog) really did it every single time. But putting away our necessarily partial perspective as listeners who are not in the band, does it ultimately matter? Martin Gore's divorce produced a track like Precious, which in the context of any other band would probably have been met with some backlash of the "they've-gone-soft" variety; and yet Playing the Angel is widely regarded as one of their late-era records, because the ability to honestly process emotion was always part of Depeche Mode's vocabulary and tricks of the trade. It's what makes a song like The Things You Said fly, especially in the 101 concert movie. During the film, there's an extreme close-up on a kid with puffy cheeks, messy bangs, clear eyes and a tooth gap singing the most teenaged fucking bullshit ever and still, it flies, because Martin Gore's lyricism — while maybe not as elaborate as Tom Waits*', sure — hits the spot. It's not its simplicity as much as it is some form of universality, perhaps.

Case in point: the latest Depeche Mode record, which came out in March 2023, is called Memento Mori, and apparently the title was chosen before Andy Fletcher's untimely passing. There's a song on it called Always You and it's a very passionate and heartfelt elegy to passing time, and a paean to things that stay. It's easy to think it's a love song of sorts: it literally says "my love" as a constant refrain in verses, so I guess it is, what the fuck can I say guys?, but there are many things that you can love, and many ways that you can love. It doesn't try to be "hip" and "cool", it doesn't sound old-man-yells-at-cloud contrived, it does its thing and gives no fucks and as such it sticks the landing. A little honesty and conviction go a really long way.

*If there had to be a third act with irremovable cred, that's absolutely my man Tom Waits, but that gets a bit more on the intellectual side of things and requires a little bit of irony and suspension of disbelief I'd argue. He deserves his own post, in short.

[catonator]

Addendum: Game Engines

The post about Unity I wrote yesterday was the longest one I’ve published so far, and even then I feel like I left out about a hundred things. One of the most important ones I wanted to talk about was complexity.

When I first moved away from Game Maker in 2018, I really couldn’t imagine actually writing my own games without using a premade engine. I mean, Game Maker is a massive tool that’s been developed for decades, and the source must have thousands of lines of code, right?

Well, yes. But you don’t need to recreate Game Maker. You can make a lot happen with something called MVP; Minimum Viable Product. Let’s look at a practical example.

Super Mario Bros.. Released in 1985, for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Somehow I doubt it ran on Unity.

Objects!

Let’s start with the most important part: the stuff that moves around and does things.

Now, I’ve looked at SMB1’s engine code, and it actually kind of sucks, so I’ll instead focus on a high-level version of a system that matches what SMB1 has, but doesn’t recreate it one to one. Remember, I want to encourage you to get something made yourself, in your own chosen language and framework, instead of getting stuck looking at hex and memory address behaviour.

We can define an object as something that’s interactable, and can change its state. This locks out stuff like the background bushes, clouds, mountains and also the ground (since it remains constant). However, this means that something like brick blocks and question mark blocks are objects.

In its simplest form, an object base would have a few parameters that every object in the game have: X and Y coordinates, current object state, and whether the object is active or not.

Most of the objects in SMB1 are either very boxy or actually just boxes, so for collision we’ll simply use an axis-aligned bounding box.

How you make the object do, you know, object things, probably depends on what language you’re using. In C I’d use some sort of overcomplicated function pointer array to point to object state functions. In more modern (and reasonable) languages like C#, Java and even C++ you’d probably just inherit the class and make the language figure out what to do with the object.

As for actually managing the objects, well that’s quite simple. The camera in SMB1 moves to the right, and never backtracks, so in essence you just have to worry about objects that appear from the right side of the screen. If you spawn objects only as they’d appear on the screen, and despawn them as soon as they disappear off the left side of the screen, you can easily get away with just a fixed-size array of say, 32 indices, and a for loop to update the active objects.

My very first game was quite literally just this. It’s as basic as it gets, and it totally works!

Level creation!

Generally speaking, one of the most frustrating parts in game development are level creation tools. Without a level, you don’t really have a game, and if your tools suck ass and level creation is a pain, your game won’t turn out so good. As of writing this, I’ve spent about 3 months writing a pretty comprehensive level editor for Radium. However, your first game (super mario) won’t be as complicated. We’ll use something tangible as an example again!

Let’s look at world 1-4, the first Bowser castle. At first glance it looks rather complicated, there’s floor, a ceiling, both change height at several points, there’s pits, all sorts of traps. It looks like a cohesive place.

But remember, video games are all smoke and mirrors. Ultimately all of this is just numbers in memory.

With that in mind, if you stare at the stage for a while, you might start noticing some strange details. Ignoring all enemies and simply looking at the ground, you might notice that the level never features any overlapping geometry. Bricks and question mark blocks may occasionally form platforms, but as far as the ground and ceiling goes, there are never any overhangs, tunnels, multi-layered passthroughs… it’s simply all solid blocks.

SMB1 constructs its worlds by defining a floor and ceiling height. The level itself is constructed by placing markers along the stage that change the floor and ceiling height from that point onward. If the floor is 0 grid units high, it’s a bottomless pit. Therefore, if you simply wanted to make a clone of the world generator and Mario’s player controller, the collision detection would at its simplest be whether or not Mario’s feet are below the ground level. For walls, you can scan the stage forward by Mario��s width and see if the ground level changes at all. If it does, you can check if it’s again higher than Mario’s feet level.

Thus, we have a level creation toolset that doesn’t even require tiles. It might not be suitable for a WYSIWYG approach to level design (for that I’d recommend Tiled or similar), but for a starting position you can quite literally just hardcode a list of ceiling/floor height change instructions separated by N amounts of tiles. Level design without an editor.

Conclusion

That’s not all I could talk about, but I already feel like this is a lot to swallow. Stuff like sprite batching, tile rendering, texture atlases etc. are all topics you'll probably encounter sooner or later. I'd really love to go on about stuff like this, but I'm trying to avoid writing a book. My hopes with this post are to showcase that making games outside of the carefully curated toolsets of modern engines isn’t always as difficult as you’d imagine. The likes of Unity and Unreal have made us believe that game engines are gigantic, unscalable mountains of code. In truth, a game engine is simply something that runs a game.

When I started my engine journey in 2018, I hadn't really realized this. I jumped to MonoGame because I thought custom engines were rad, but I didn’t really know how to actually make an engine, let along a game in one. It didn’t take long to figure just how many corners you can cut to just make something work in the most basic of senses. For every challenge, you have infinite solutions, far beyond the templatized ones provided to you by online Unity tutorials.

I made the source code for my first ever custom game open when I finished the game. It was written in about 2 weeks, and during the production I learned MonoGame, C# and engine design philosophies, all for the first time in my life. You can take a gander at it here and witness it in all its hacky glory. Despite that, it’s a game that you can play.

I’ve also opened up the questions page on my Tumblr, so maybe I can assist with some issues you may have when starting out. I hope I’ve at least inspired you to give a shot for outside the box thinking. The game you want to make may be a lot simpler than you initially imagined.

Happy carefree programming!