#hwhbh!tubbo
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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It's very important to understand that heal!Jordan is like around in his 60s or even 70s while Tubbo only Just turned 18, so where Jordan's dragon form is this regal, sharp golden greatwyrm with his black facial hair and bulk, Tubbo is A Literal Baby. He is round. He is like 85% belly. He's got the physique of a pallas cat with these stumpy legs and neck that's tucked close to his body while he walks around. He bapy.....he is literally a baby dragon...ohhh
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proudfreakmetarusonikku · 1 year ago
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hi metaru i have work in like an hour but before i have to go I just think it's funny how you mentioned that your version of cDream is nicer than canon, when in my fics I always work to make him even Worse by leaning into the "sick fuck who takes joy in torturing a child" aspect of his character. Like in hwhbh, he's just a Grosser person. He's written as a smug, petty, vindicative manbaby who, as soon as he's robbed of his armor and weapons and put in that cell, all the Classy Mysterious Elegance he held himself with just Drops. He's ofc a guy in a hostile oppressive environment that's fucking with his already shit poor mental health, and once XD goes in and throws his brain into the God Blender Torture Matrix Palinko, he's literally a husk of who he was and can barely make sense of where he is half the time. But there's still the constant undercurrent of Tommy Tommy Tommy in his thoughts. he's a cDream's who fear-fueled hatred of the boy is what he wears on his sleeve, because when robbed of his capacity to cause harm, all that's left is a sad, pitiful little man who felt like his world was being threatened by a literally child and resorted to torture and barbaric cruelty about it.
I mean like to be fair once you get a literal god torturing you I think niceness goes out the window. And like fair for him what XD is doing is like. Not Okay? Don’t torture people. (And this isn’t a criticism of your work, I think it’s some really good characterisation of XD. We know he’s ruthless and cruel to people he dislikes, so it’d make sense for him to be so towards someone who hurt someone he deeply cares for).
The way I write c!Dream is that he's like, fully and completely genuine about his desires for a big happy family and friendship, because I think that’s an excellent thing to explore in my horror work. So he's entirely genuine when he’s being kind to c!Tommy. He is being manipulative intentionally, yes, but when he says he cares about c!Tommy and enjoys spending time with him it’s the whole truth. He'd happily spend all day playing games and chatting with c!Tommy as much as he'd happily torture and experiment on him because he genuinely sees c!Tommy as a brother. He adores him in the same way c!Wilbur does, the same way c!Tubbo does, yet it’s horribly twisted. The kindness is fully genuine, and so is the cruelty. I think c!Dream is a lot worse if he's incredibly kind… and still a gleeful torturer who views that torture as kindness. He’s painfully human and he thinks he’s a good person. He has so many virtues yet used in ways worse than any vice. He's the dark side to every light.
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sleepypuffpastry · 2 years ago
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also Sleepy when I was reading that scene where tubbo finds tommy high out of his mind, all I could think about is the scene in hwhbh where something similar happens and it made me very emotional
hwhbh!tubbo🤝tteote!tubbo
learning that their tommy went through severely unhealthy drug use while they weren't present in his life and feeling really fucking shitty about it
ctommy truly is the jesse pinkman of minecraft
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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made an older healbo with this
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sunlitmcgee · 2 years ago
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ehehehehehehehheheehehe am evil /lh
h
hey flame :) gggguess what i've got. 4 you. 2day?
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and we jump just a bit ahead.,,,,
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here you are :DDDDDDDDDDD if you see errors you don't i have very good editing eyes /lh
SUNNY YOU BASTARD YOU CANT JUST LEAVE ME HANGING WITH THAT LAST LINE WTF /lh
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sunlitmcgee · 2 years ago
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 Hello! This is a ramble-style masterpost type thing about the version of c!Benchtrio that is in my fic “Heal What Has Been Hurt.” It is filled with headcanons, ramblings, interpretations and general behind the scenes things that I’ve had in mind when it comes to how I write them and their various gender presentations throughout the course of the fic.
 I’d like to say that I am a GNC fem-presenting AFAB transman. This is just something to keep in mind when it comes to my thoughts and opinions on the concept of gender, gender identity and presentation. If anything here doesn’t align with your personal experiences, that’s okay! Just please don’t be an asshole, because this is based upon MY experiences with gender identity and is inherently quite personal for me.
 Another thing I’d like to say is that while the majority of what I say here is related to my AU fic, some things reflect my feelings around DSMP canon and my perspectives of the characters 
I always wanna remind that HWHBH!Benchtrio’s relationship is strictly queerplatonic and that anything described here is not meant to be taken as romantic or heaven’s for-fucking-bid sexual. If you think something here is…just….keep it to yourself and don’t say it to me. Pretty fuckin please.
 And on that last note, nothing here is meant to apply to ANY of the CCs who created these characters. This is about the characters and ONLY the characters. This isn’t a place for truthing or whatever. Get the fuck outta here with dat shit.
Don’t be weird, ya dumb piece of cu-
Let’s get into it, shall we!
 For starters, let’s start off with the basic idea that, to me, Mister Author Man, whose opinions on these characters obviously shape the way I write them but shouldn’t be taken as the word of god when it comes to vague stuff that’s more open to interpretation, all 3 of HWHBH!Benchtrio embody a sort of “archetype” of masculinity. A different flavor, one might say. Their presentations and performances of the concept vary, but the core idea of “man-ess” is present in all 3, albeit to varying extents.
 If we want to go in order from “most masc” to “least masc” in terms of traditional ideas/roles, then let’s begin with our darling little draggie goat HWHBH!Tubbo.
 HWHBH!Tubbo is buff.
 HWHBH!Tubbo is fat, muscular, and heavy set.
 HWHBH!Tubbo is short but built like a full-grown bull, horns and muscles and all.
 And above all else, HWHBH!Tubbo is the member of the trio that to me embodies the sort of masculinity that I shall lovingly deem “The Stronk Guy.”
 When it comes to how he’s dressed/often described, you rarely see HWHBH!Tubbo in anything traditionally feminine. He wears tank-tops, button-ups, heavy coats and thick winter pants. He wears overalls,which are a very boyish sort of clothing item commonly associated with the American South and physical labor, usually on a farm. The two sets of horns of his head make up for his generally short stature, making him seem as tall as he is wide, thus increasing the intimidating presence he has thanks to his claws, scales, wings and oh yeah constant smoke that pours out from every hole on his round little face. Round face=wide facial features=square shape. Squares in terms of character design are often used for characters that are sturdy and strong with a big presence in the scenes they’re in. Another very “macho” trait. Manly men get your attention as soon as they are in the room.
 Out of the 3, Tubbo is the one that works out the most.
 He is the one who performs most maintenance-based tasks around the house, such as repairing furniture. 
 He helps with the farms in Snowchester and lifts many heavy tools.
 He’s the one that gets a spider out of the house when it scares Michael when he goes to lay in his little race car bed.
 He picks both of HWHBH!Alliumduo up like they weigh nothing.
 And he is the one that makes Tommy go from “C!Tommy if he had proper therapy” to “stereotypical young teen girl swooning over her popular jock crush in an early 2000’s disney channel original movie” thanks to those burly arms of his. He has a way. With the Tommy.
 Boy could snap you like a motherfucking glowstick-
 Basically, when in regards to his gender and overall presentation, HWHBH!Tubbo is the kind of boy who is best at home in himself when he can go at with his power tools in the lab and go home wiping the sweat from his brow to his two lovely partners so that he can eat dinner, help with all the dishes, take a bath and kiss both his children’s foreheads, then flop himself onto the bed and hug both of his platonic husband’s.
 He isn’t a very girly boy.
 And that is okay!
 HWHBH!Tubbo doesn’t feel drawn to most typical “girly” things. He mostly wears earth-tones along with his coats and leather jackets. He likes flowers, yeah. But everyone likes flowers! And he cannot cook for shit, so in his mind, he really isn’t the “”lady”” of this household.
 (Any usage of words like “woman”, “man”, lady-like or “manly” here are intended to refer to the traditional stereotypical Western ideas behind gender and gender roles. Just as a friendly reminder!)
 But there’s a reason behind heal!Tubbo’s specific brand of manliness that isn’t just his personal preference. Think back to Manburg. Pogtopia era. Think back to the time when c!Tubbo served as a political spy during a time of war against a nation that was ruled by c!Schlatt: a bumbling idiot obsessed with “gains” and protein powder who constantly hurled verbal abuse and beat down on anyone who defied him, be it physically with his hands or politically through various abuses of authority.
c!Schlatt is an almost Comical icon of toxic masculinity. Loud. Harsh. Always quick to Anger. Aggressive and self absorbed. Dismissive of the emotions of others including his own and valuing raw strength and power above all else. On several occasions, there were scenes where he’d directly attack the masculinity of the cabinet members, be it telling c!Fundy(a transman!) that he’ll “never be a man” or talking down to c!Tubbo and calling him weak, soft, cowardly and all manner of insults commonly hurled at people our society sees as men who don’t conform to a rigid binary.
 With hwhbh!Tubbo, he has taken that weakness that an abuser saw in him and Embraced it for the strength it actually is. He is soft. He’s fat with a big round belly! He’s physically strong, yes, again, bulk like a tank. But in terms of his emotions, by Schlatt’s standards, he’s much Weaker than he used to be because of how open and vulnerable he is: and that’s a Good Thing.
 Manliness isn’t toughing it out and beating down on anyone that defies you. Manliness is giving your 2 kids 20 kisses on they little heads as you hold them to your chest and carry them upstairs for bedtime.
Manliness is Softness.
Manliness is Openness.
Manliness is Gentleness.
Manliness can let you Heal.
 Let’s talk about heal!Ranboo. Much like Tubbo, Ranboo has a pretty typically masculine presentation. He wears suits, formal vests, sweaters and button-ups, but has a dash of more feminine apparel with his various earrings and rings and necklaces that contrast to the lone wedding bane and bee-charm bracelet we see on heal!Tubbo.
 Fashion aside, heal!Ranboo’s sheer height makes him stick out like a sore thumb. He’s a tall, thin creature with long, gangly limbs and shiny scales. He’s a fighter! He knows how to handle himself in a scuffle. He prefers to use his words and to avoid fighting via diplomacy, but he is not afraid to use violence(or at the very least Threaten To) when it comes to Clingyduo or his children. It’s best to say he simply has a bit more self Restraint than Tubbo. But only Just.
 heal!Ranboo is the middle child of heal!Benchtrio. Despite this, he is the universally agreed upon “mature one” and often takes the role of the “””straight””” man compared to clingyduo’s goofy mischief.
 With this notable maturity, Healboo, like his counterpart in canon, takes it upon himself to be the household’s main Provider. He’s the breadwinner. The moneymaker. The one who goes out each day to work and toil in the mines to gather resources to bring home. He brings home the bacon! Therefore, he is also the one in charge of the family’s Finances. His name is on the contract for the mansion’s construction. There were many jokes about c!Tubbo being a golddigger, way back when the two first got married. I see no reason to say that there weren’t similar jokes made between the two when they first got together in HWHBH.
 Financial control is a right that’s long been limited to men. Men do the work, pay the bills, own the house and make the Big Choices for a family.
 Going back to the point about his skills in combat, it is traditionally a Man’s job to protect his family. It’s Man’s Work to be tough and fend off the danger. The man brings home the Kill(money and household finances) while the woman cooks, cleans, raises the children and provides whatever Affection her husband may require. Golddiggers, as a concept, are women who specifically seek out Wealthy Men to reap the riches from this(very harmful) arrangement.
 But all of this hinges on the idea that a man is a tough, strong, scary, loud go-getter who’ll lash out at any opportunity to climb up The Ladder ™. 
If not that, then a wealthy man is one who has to be Smart. Clever. Good with his words. A charmer. A suave, dapper figure in fitted clothes with well-kept hair. A man with visible wealth in the form of pretty jewelry. A tall, dark and handsome kind of fella. A princely sort! This type of Man is one you see at gentlemen’s clubs and cashios who most certainly is inclined towards the academics.
 hwhbh!Ranboo is. Basically that. He’s just transmasc. And aromantic asexual. And platonically gay. And riddled with 70 flavors of psychosis that’s worsened by his severe anxiety, paranoia and memory issues.
 (hwhbh!Ranboo is, specifically, a young trans man who had his body hijacked and controlled by an older man in a position of authority who used that control to abuse him and his loved ones. Just a side note to think about)
 Basically, hwhbh!Ranboo has the Aesthetics of the “tall, dark and handsome and filthy Rich suave ladies man” type of manhood…just as a paint over a very anxious, very emotionally-driven young queer boy.
 He spoils his beloveds. He coddles and pampers them. He is a partner who finds joy in showering his qpps with material gifts In Tandum with his physical affection and words of praise. In many “traditional”(read: sexist and fucked up) circles, this would make him someone who is perceived as Weak. He’d be Emasculated for his behavior.
 But ofc, he’d be denied his manhood in the first place in these types of circle, because being trans, heal!Ranboo’s masculinity is one Directly in contrast to the roles he’d be put into on the basis of his birth sex. 
 That makes you think: maybe there’s a reason Ranboo sticks to very masculine dress when he’s out and about, and only wears stuff like dresses and skirts when he’s at home with his two partners. People he trusts. People he feels safe around.
 heal!Ranboo is a breadwinner/provider who turns to those he provides for for comfort and safety.
Manliness is seeking Comfort.
Manliness is not viewing your Fears as a Flaw.
Manliness is indulging in self Expression that makes you feel the most like Yourself.
Manliness is showing Love to those you care for.
Manliness is Caring.
Manliness is Gentleness. 
 Now. Let’s talk about the main character protagonist himself. c!Tommy. The boy. The guy himself. The most character ever of all time in the history of anything.
 hwhbh!Tommy is, to put it simply: A pretty boy.
 He’s very pretty! He’s got long hair that goes well past his shoulders, shiny blue eyes, a lean(for the most part) figure that makes him rather petite next to Beeduo, and a pair of earthy brown wings that have flecks of gold on each feather. He wears skirts, dresses, lace, silk and cardigans. Most of his outfits have either natural earthy tones(greens, blues, browns, etc) or brighter pastels(purple, pink, white etc). He wears jewelry. He had butterfly pins that he bought from Claries. 
 On top of that, he’s got a shit ton of plushies, blankets, pillows and general soft cutesie comfort items. Plushie Henry is a big one.
 He’s got many traditionally girly hobbies and interests. Knitting. Sewing. Cooking/baking. Gardening. He loves to sing and likes to read about the symbolism of different flowers. He’s made a point for there to be plenty of plant life in the Big Innit such as in the lobby and connected cafe. While video games are stereotype as being a “boys’ thing”, one of heal!Tommy’s favorite games is OMORI, which is a game with a very cutesy art style that consists of soft pastel colors and a cute, feel good ost. Again. Very girly, very pretty.
 heal!Tommy is a character that I’ve given a lot of my Personal Gender Stuff as a transguy who found myself leaning into a lot of girly cutesy feminine things when I was first recovering from my trauma. For me, it was a matter of being able to indulge in media/hobbies/aesthetics that gave me a sense of comfort and safety while also further allowing me to explore my gender. 
 For hwhbh!Tommy, it’s a matter of him finally being able to indulge in what gives him the most joy without being hurt for it: loving things, loving people, and caring for them. Being a nurturer.
Who sings to the flowers to help them grow?
Who made a Prime Path and keeps it maintained?
Who inspired Wilbur Soot to make L’manburg, acting as a sibling’s muse?
Who fills the server with music? With song?
Who reaches out and tries to mend broken relationships?
Who forgives?
Who tries his very best to understand, even when it hurts him more?
Who is the person that takes care of the server? 
 c!Tommy is a character who is Driven by Love. Platonic love. Familial Love. This boy loves and he loves to SHOW his love to people by caring for them in whatever way he is able to. He isn’t always the best at it. He is often brash and harsh and loud and blunt and yes, annoying. He’s a little shit.
 He’s weird in a weird little girl way.
 He is also an incredibly caring, sweet, emotionally intelligent person who always puts the needs of others First Before His own, often always to his own detriment. Caring for cWilbur in Pogtopia. Reaching out to cBeeduo during the outpost. Forgiving cEmeraldduo, time and time again. Asking his abuser “why don’t you hurt” while in the prison.
 In my experience as an AFAB individual, women* (*or people society views as women) are expected to 1: keep their own emotions bottled up and tend to the emotional needs of others around them, 2: be quiet, submissive, polite and “ladylike” 24/7 constantly. Or else we will be labeled as annoying hysterical bitches who are just looking for attention.
 Sound familiar?
 In HWHBH, Tommy’s gradual shift from his original masculine presentation of a plain t shirt and pants to his current mix of sweaters, skirts and dresses is a visual way to show his shift throughout his recovery.
At the start of the fic, Tommy was still riding the aftershocks of his near-death in the prison. He wore simple clothes, lived in an empty house, hardly ate, slept and was unable to take care of himself. The entire first chapter is XD watching him nearly freeze to death because he wandered out into the forest without a coat while dissociating. His hair was thin and cut short. He thought that beeduo wanted nothing to do with him. He was unwell. He was alone.
 But look at him now. Long, thick hair. Healthy diet. Gained some weight. (Mostly) healthy sleep schedule. Lots of family members and friends he talks to daily, either in person or over the phone.
He has a garden.
He sings to the flowers.
He sings constantly.
He is always singing or talking or downing something. He enjoys doing chores. He thinks it’s fun.
 Throughout the entirety of the DSMP storyline, c!Tommy was punished for Wanting. For wanting People. For wanting to be Loved. For wanting TO love without having whatever/whoever he cared about taken away. Now he has a child(2 actually, he’s just silly and hasn’t realized it) and a father and 2 platonic partners who love him dearly. He has hobbies and favorite TV shows. He grows his hair out, wears skirts and plays with his father’s make-up. He gets flustered when Beeduo call him pretty or beautiful. He watches Sailor Moon. He made an oc self insert for it. He regularly daydreams about heal!beeduo being tuxedo mask the same way a female lead in a teen romcom talks about going on cheesy dates with her crush. He has a flower cow with buttercups on it. 
 Michael calling him Mummy and Shroud calling him Mimi doesn’t need an explanation, I feel.
 For a character whose main joke catchphrase is some variation of “I’m a Big Man”, cTommy really is very Girl Coded. Hwhbh!Tommy is just the result of me taking that and amplifying it for the sake of comedy and fluff. Mostly fluff. Because I think he’s a character who deserves the softness that can come from “girl stuff” and things we commonly associate with femininity.
Masculinity and Femininity and all forms of gender stuff and gender expression are, at the end of the day, just made up gobbledy gook we humans made up in the same way we made up shit like Money and Language. But I still like to talk about them, because it’s a topic I find to be very interesting and important when it comes to storytelling.
Manliness is Nurturing.
Manliness is Loyalty.
Manliness is the capacity to care for and protect and fight for what you value the most.
Manliness is the attempt, however vain, to understand the people around you(though ofc, there are always times when you shouldn’t because it isn’t Safe for you)
Manliness, like Womanliness, is whatever YOU want to make of it. Same with any other clusterfuck of a queer identity. 
I just think that hwhbh!Benchtrio’s gender stuff is fun to talk about. I hope you enjoyed reading about it :)
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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healbo is kind of like a selkie if you think about it...turns into a creature when he takes off his skin...only trusts his intimate partners to be around him during the process.....idk. is this anything
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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for @oranboo to help with The Horrors I am thinking very intensely about heal Tubbo and his big fluffy coat and baggy hoodies and layers of wool and fur and all the natural earthy tones verses the sleek blacks of his suit back in Manburg. the only bit of color he was allowed was the plain green of that tie that was always a noose around his neck.
thinking! about him laying in bed sometimes with just his pjs and feeling almost Naked without the layers. Without the Restriction. His dreams are filled with teeth and torn gums and scales that shift just beneath the skin. Thinking about how wonderful it feels when he finally lets it all give and falls out of his body and onto the snow, his claws twitching at the open air while he rolls his head, dizzy at the sudden vastness that surrounds him.
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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healbo more like milfbo
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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hwhbh!tubbo's love for tommy is sweet with honey. his love for ranboo is savory like butter. Okay? Understand?
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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the "you need to live" choice in The Ritual is me @ dsmp characters all the time everyday every second, says man writing dragon dyke boy's dragon puberty-fueled suicidal tendencies to cope with The Horrors
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sunlitmcgee · 3 years ago
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make 1 reoccuring joke of hwhbh tubbo calling tommy “baby girl”. get called a thot. the oppression never ceases (/j /lh /nm)
Reblog this post to turn the previous user into a Creature
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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hwhbh!tubbo
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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healbo stores all his trauma in his belly. that is also where he stores all.of his love
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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he's trying
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@oranboo
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sunlitmcgee · 1 year ago
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I like to imagine that smetimes when heal!Benchtrio sleep, Tommy and Ranboo wake up with Tubbo laying over both of them. And he look so relaxed, and neither of them want to wake him up. They just lay there until Michael slammed their bedroom door open
YESS S he lays on them so much. both together and either or. he'sa silly lil dragon. he must lay atop his hoard of beloveds <3 it's enrichment!!!
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