#let’s appreciate Bad a little more

[valrnyx]

Ya know what’s one thing that makes me pissed off/very frustrated?

On the original island, q!Bad was constantly up in the main plot and involved in everything. He knew almost everyone’s secrets, especially in the early days of the server. He’s always called upon for almost any group mission and is considered one of the most reliable people on the server. He’s constantly taking care of the eggs and keeping them alive. Hell, he was runner up for president when elections were happening. Bad actually would have won if Forever gave his vote to Bad like he said he would rather than voting for himself (which I’m pretty sure was against the rules anyway😒). That just shows how much trust and respect the CCs have for Bad.

Both q!Bad and CC!Bad get almost zero credit from non-ghosties for any of it. Bad does all of this and instead of getting credit, he constantly is shit on and dragged through the mud by this god forsaken community. Whether it’s for a decision he made as a CC or something his character did, there’s never some section of this fan base that isn’t pissed at him for one reason or another. Just the other day, Gumi made a first time Lethal Company lobby for Bad to play in with friends he’s comfortable with. Cellbit was invited since they��re friends and apparently this pissed off some of Cellbit’s community enough for them to start harassing ghosties on Twitter (not sure if this was going around to everyone, but someone I follow on Twitter went priv cause they were being harassed and sent death threats).

Bad is also made the villain in so many different scenarios because people need someone to blame and Bad just happened to be convenient. This got infinitely worse after Purgatory (this community got significantly worse during purgatory. Somehow worse than it was during the election arc). Bad was deemed a boogie man and then “conveniently forgot everything” after the event ended, when in reality he was just doing everything in his power to save his son (JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING. HE QUITE LITERALLY DID NOTHING DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE) and then ended up with radiation induced amnesias and slowly dying.

I’m so exhausted, pissed off, and frustrated of Bad and his fanbase being harassed and shit on in this community. I feel like no one besides his fanbase and the CCs appreciate any of the work he’s done and it drives me nuts.

[thatonecrookedsmile]

I would say that, considering his history, he's not that wrong, but even I have doubts as to whether that would be right. But at the end of the day, this is just a joke that's been in my head for a while, sooooo…eh.

Oh hey, an attempt at a comic? Made by me? That I didn't give up during the process or lost all motivation? What was my only attempt at this, 2019? Damn, it's been a long time.

I thought about leaving this here without editing or any colors, just the natural ones from the paper and pencil. But something in my head said "HAHAHA, no" so I went back to work. I had to put this idea down on paper this time (literally). If another year passes without me being able to execute this idea, I would lose my mind.

This scenario was inspired by this video by Jehtt, inspired by the original meme by Windii. Credits to both of them.

For a long time I wanted to joke - especially on the anniversary - that I wanted Sammy to only have less than 5 seconds in the next game (or in other words, take his screen time in DR, and shorten it even more). You know, just for the funnies (unless..?) But,thanks to the news released at the beginning of January this year about The Cage, I legally can't do this joke anymore…this year. Don't worry, after that comes out (and finally gives Sam the screen time he wants,hopefully) and we start to crawl into the Bendy 3 production era, I'll make this joke when I can.

Anyway, happy birthday Sammy Lawrence. You may not be my favorite character in this franchise, but there are some things I can actually appreciate about you. Plus, you made me laugh a few moments before (you know what I'm talking about) so there's that.

And happy 7 years to Chapter 2, and by extension, Susie, Norman, Alice, the Searchers, (Johnny????), and Beta Ink Bendy. (I would mention Jack too, but he was only introduced with the release of CH4, so technically it's not his birthday yet, but I'll consider him here).

And now? May I be able to do something for CH4's anniversary. Wish me luck,cus I'll need it.

(it might be really late now, but it's still the 18th where I live, so it's still his birthday, so I still won)

[sophistired18]

Kryk ficlet about something something january, insecurities, the Earth, and sisters. Pt. 2/3(?)

Snow is falling, you're floating, let me anchor you.

"Geez, you look more nervous than me." Yaku blurts, observing Kuroo silently run circles in his head.

They're walking around the corner, about to reach the restaurant that Kuroo agreed on with his sister. Kuroo promised Yaku he'd make this work out sometime soon, but he didn't expect it to be this soon. Honestly, he was surprised she even picked up at all. Then he tried setting up a date a month ahead, which she declined due to her 'very busy schedule'. Kuroo's certain she's definitely wanting to avoid this too. Although, what he didn't expect is for her to say that she was free two weeks from then. So that's why he and Yaku are walking in the snow to a small restaurant after a long train ride to Yokohama in the middle of January. And each step they take closer, the more Kuroo realizes how much he dreads this trip. Or dreads his family. Well, his sister mostly.

"I'm not nervous." Kuroo replies. "She irritates me. Not in the way you do, I love you, she's just always rubbed me off in the wrong way." Kuroo begrudges.

"More than Daishou?" Yaku questions, his voice airing in amusement.

"Yes. More than Daishou." Kuroo admits, scrunching his brow.

"Wow. That's a new low." Yaku hums. "But, seriously, you said you didn't care what she thinks. I'm not going to get butthurt if she doesn't like me. I'm stuck with you whether she approves or not." Yaku says truthfully, nudging Kuroo in the shoulder with his fist.

"Yeah, because I don't care what she thinks." Kuroo emphasizes. "Don't give me that look. I mean it! I genuinely don't. I don't care what she thinks of me, per se.."

"So you're worried that she'll think badly of me?" Yaku asks with an air of curiosity, rather than suspicion.

"It's more like.. well, yes. Sort of. Yes. But just to be clear, it's not because I think you're a bad person that she will immediately disapprove of." Kuroo attempts to explain.

"Obviously." Yaku responds, sureness radiating off his voice. He looks up at Kuroo afterwards, insinuating for him to continue.

"What I'm trying to say is, you're an amazing person. Don't say anything, I'm not done yet." Kuroo stops Yaku before he can butt in. "And I love you so much. Which you'd think that these two things would matter as a deciding factor on whether or not my sister will react amicably... but I highly doubt any of it would even matter." Kuroo lets out.

Yaku inhales, places his hands together, before pointing both accusingly at Kuroo. "Tetsu, dear, please get to the fucking point."

"Mori, she's never ever cared about anything I do or like. Which wasn't of course, a big deal to me like ever. Except, until now. Because now, you mean so much more than anything I've ever liked."

"Except volleyball of course." Yaku remarks.

"Ehh more or less equal I'd say." Kuroo laughs.

"Okay sureee, but continue." Yaku rolls his eyes, knowing there's much more to his idiot boyfriend's internal family complex.

Kuroo sighs. "I never cared if she had nothing to do with my life. I mean, heck, she didn't say a single thing to me when our team went to nationals. My mom at least sent a text! And graduation! Both graduations! She didn't even show up. Only called to say congrats and then hung up." He says exasperatedly, leaving him to wonder why he's so out of breath after letting that out. "So yeah, she can do her own thing, it's whatever. But, there's one thing I will absolutely not stand for her to ignore or treat like it's not a big deal, and that's you. Because if she did, then I know it's simply based on her view of me. And I don't think I could ever let anyone treat you that way, especially if it's because of me. Because you are such a-"

"Tetsu. Hey, I get it." Yaku says gentle yet firm. He stands in front of him, physically stopping Kuroo in his tracks, before reaching to hold his shoulders in place. Then he continues, "But, I also completely disagree. You're forgetting the fact that you are also a fucking amazing person. So please for the love of god, please remember that. Because then, who cares what she thinks of you or me. I already know who I am, you do too. Don't let her get to your head before we've even seen her yet."

Kuroo looks into Yaku's eyes and feels vulnerable yet comforted all at once. He feels grounded. He closes his eyes, calming down his nerves that, he denied in having, and opens them to meet Yaku's eyes again. "Okay." He slowly nods.

"We don't need her blessing." Yaku reassures. "Besides, I already got your dad's and Kenma's, and those are the only ones that really matter anyways." Yaku smiles, which only brings Kuroo back down to Earth once more. Yaku does that. There's this security about him that Kuroo craves and adores, and also partially envies.

"Damn it." Kuroo curses. He lowers his neck so his forehead meets Yaku's. "I love you so much, you know that?" He takes a deep breath, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. "Thanks, I needed that."

Yaku chuckles, his warm breath visible in the cold. "You really overthink the easiest of things. I just need you here in the present, Okay? Otherwise those five braincells of yours are going to explode." Yaku laughs lightheartedly, which is adorable even if it was after he just insulted Kuroo basically three times in a row. Yet, every bit of it helped Kuroo ease up a bit, only confirming that he must be some sort of masochist.

Instead of delving into that thought, he decides to come back to Earth, where Yaku is waiting for him. Kuroo presses a light kiss atop of Yaku's head and leaves his lips there, breathing him in.

"You ready now?" Yaku asks, peering his head up.

Kuroo smiles. "Yeah, I'm ready."

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[softquietsteadylove]

Hello birdie 🖤✨

I've got something for the Life Interrupted AU.

Thena isn't feeling well lately and is considering to go back into this hellhole where she's getting drugged to unconsciousness. She's packing her stuff when Gil shows up. He's trying to talk it out of her.

(And I definitely didn't had this Idea because I'm stuck in one of those hellholes, lol)

✨🖤Hugs an Love🖤✨

"Going somewhere?"

Thena sighed, setting down one of her shirts and staring down at her bed. "I was thinking about it."

Gil walked further into her room, having just arrived. "Druig texted me. Really surprised me to hear from him, but he said you've been acting weird--wants me to 'talk to some sense into you'."

Thena let out a humourless chuckle. "I'm surprised he decided to entrust you with that task."

"Gotta say, I am too," Gil agreed quietly until he was standing behind her. "I have to agree--you seem a little anxious lately."

She had been nervous, jumpy, and Gil knew it. They hadn't been able to go out on a date in weeks because she felt on the verge of a panic attack at the thought of having to navigate crowds or risk running into someone. "Maybe...maybe I should consider-"

"Don't," he whispered, placing his hand gently over hers. Her bag was already half full. "Don't say you're going back to that place."

Thena squeezed her eyes shut, tears already burning the insides of them. "Where should I go, Gil?"

"Anywhere else," he concluded. He pulled her hand away from packing up as if she were sailing off into the horizon. He moved slowly and gently until he could sit on the chair in the corner of her room and look up at her. "Please, Thena, just talk to me."

When he was seated lower, she had no excuse not to look at him. But she stared down at his hands, holding hers so, so gently. "Druig and Makkari have been looking at places again."

Gil raised his brows. "That...that's good...right?"

It was. It was what she wanted. She wanted their lives to continue on after the ugliness of the last year. She wanted her brother to feel free to settle down and marry the love of his life. And he could do that without worrying about his sister, she was determined.

"He keeps asking me to see them," she admitted quietly, as if Druig had his ear pressed against the door and would be wounded by overhearing her. "He keeps picking rooms that he says can be mine--if I so choose."

"So," Gil prompted, giving her hands a little squeeze, "what's so bad about that?"

Thena shook her head, looking up around the ceiling of her room to keep her tears from falling. "I'm not some child he has to drag around with him. He should be choosing a home to suit him and his wife, not worrying about his burdensome sister."

"Come on," Gil whispered, his eyes drifting downward from the sheer weight of Thena's discouragement. "You know he doesn't think of you like that."

Thena sighed, pulling her hands from Gil's and plopping herself on the corner of her bed. She pressed them to her head, trying to keep them from shaking. "I know he doesn't. That is exactly the problem."

"Okay, so you don't want him worrying about you," Gil shrugged, turning in the chair to face her head on again.

Thena stared down at her knees. She wasn't wearing her work dress and stockings with a tight ponytail. But she couldn't bring herself to wear soft sweatpants anymore, opting for athleisure leggings and a cardigan at even her most comfortable.

"What else?"

She toyed with her fingernails. "I don't want to live here alone."

Gil nodded again, leaning back in the chair.

She hunched over herself more, despite her sore back. "It's not about the cost, it's...I can't be here by myself, thinking all these...things."

"Okay, so we'll find somewhere else for you," Gil leapt at the opportunity to suggest an alternative. He leaned forward again, even scooching toward the edge of the seat. "I'll help you look."

She smiled, although she still wasn't feeling the intent behind the action. "Druig offered the same. Even Makkari--but that's not the point."

Gil seemed to understand what she was getting at. And of course he did, it was Gil. He was sweet, and understanding, and he always seemed to know what she was trying to say, even if she didn't have the words. "You want to find a place for yourself."

She sighed, looking at her hands again. "I don't seem capable of anything these days."

Gil took her hands in his again, rubbing his thumb over her skin. "You know that's not true."

She wasn't as sure as he was. She never was--never had his confidence, or positivity. It was something she both envied and admired about him. She loved it about him. "Maybe-"

"No!"

She blinked, taken aback by his outburst. He was always so soft spoken, especially with her. She had never heard him so much as raise his voice. The only things he did loudly were laughing and sneezing.

"Maybe nothing!" he pressed, standing from the chair. "That place never did you any good. I don't think it does anyone any good! And I will not let you go back to that misery!"

Thena's eyes fluttered, her back straightening. Her heart began to squeeze at the sheer volume of things, but this was Gil--she was safe with him.

"Thena," he finally quieted again, kneeling in front of her. "You never have to go back to that place, okay? I don't care if you have a nervous breakdown--I'll take care of you. I'll take better care of you than they ever would in there. Just--just promise me you won't go back there because you're worried about burdening people."

She blinked, those tears she was trying to hold back finally falling. It was completely dark outside, her small bedside lamp offering minimal lighting. But it caught Gil's features in just such a way that made him seem so beautiful. "I don't want to go back there."

"Good," he nodded, turning her hand so he could press his lips to it.

"But," she gasped, her lip wobbling. She clung to him. "But what if I'm not me, anymore?"

"You're exactly who you need to be," he said without a hint of doubt in his voice. "You're Thena."

So completely unwavering, her Gilgamesh.

"You're my Thena," he repeated, softer this time, kissing the back of her other hand before pulling her up to stand with him. His hands slipped around waist to rest at her back. "That's all you need to be."

She wasn't sure who 'Thena' was, at times. At least, not as she knew herself before all this. Gil kept saying that the past year was a part of her, for better or worse. But she just wanted to leave it behind--to revert to the version of her that had existed before it all.

"Look," he whispered, still holding her so gently. "Maybe that's easy for me to say. I didn't know you before. But the Thena I know is pretty damn amazing."

She let another laugh, still not humoured in the least.

"She is," he chuckled, though, and he did mean it. He leaned closer, touching his forehead to hers. "She's this badass translator, works in a big, fancy office. She's actually pretty funny, if she's in a good mood. Kinda likes messing with me."

"I do not."

"Just a little," he contested, scrunching up his nose faintly. "But I think that side of her is cute. And she's tough--way tougher than she thinks she is. And she's an incredible sister, even when her brother is being a pain in our ass."

"Our?" she interrupted.

"Our," he confirmed, touching the tips of their noses together to silence her. "And I know he's just worried about you. That's why he keeps saying you can stay with them if you want. But I guess he doesn't really know it's stressing you out."

Thena sighed, dragged back into the depths of her problems like plunging into ice cold water. "How do I tell him?"

Gil skipped over that question, still busy holding her, almost swaying as his weight shifted from foot to foot. "So, this Thena--I mean, to me, she's the most incredible woman in the world."

"Gil," she sighed, trying to pull him from his reverent description of her.

But he nudged her head until he could kiss her lips, also gently. As gently as everything else about him. "She's the woman I love, plain and simple."

Oh, did she ever love him. She had gone from being someone who probably didn't really believe in love for herself at all to being head over heels for her sweet, gentle giant.

She sighed as she kissed him again, leaning up on her toes to loop her arms around his neck. Kissing Gil always made her feel more human--more grounded and real. It took away the buzzing in her head and replaced it with with a heavy and pleasant sedative that could spread through her veins.

Gil stayed close, his forehead against hers, lips still faintly puckered. "Better?"

"Hm," she sighed. She didn't need to explain herself--not to him. She ran her fingers gently through the hair at the back of his head. If only she never had to go to work, or take public transport, or go to house viewings where the realtor would look at her oddly. If only she could stay in Gil's arms every second of every day.

"Good," he sufficed to say, tapping his fingers against the back of her sweater. He moved his hand to her hip. "So, about this living situation-"

"Right," she sighed the heaviest she had yet (which was saying something).

"Hey," he nudged her gently, pulling her eyes up to him. "A unit in my building is going on the market for next month. It's the one above mine--sweet old guy is moving out to be closer to his grand kids."

Oh. Living that close to Gil--being neighbours?

"I can always ask him if he'd be open to a lease trade-off," Gil suggested, although he was unable to hide his excitement at the prospect in his smile. "What do you think?"

Being that close to Gil? Being his upstairs neighbour?

His smile wobbled faintly, turning sheepish as he looked away. "It's a little more modest than this place. But it's a one bedroom, and it's not a bad location. And-"

Thena stood on her toes, pressing her lips to his, even with a cliche 'mmwah' sound. He looked dazed after the firmer kiss, which made her smile genuinely for the first time that night. She leaned against him heavier, but he steadied her without a second thought. "I think that sounds perfect."

"Really?" he asked, beaming like a dog about to receive a treat with a wagging tail.

She took his cheeks in her hands, "it sounds wonderful, Gil."

"O-Okay," he laughed, sounding near hysteria. But he pulled her against his chest in his arms, even lifting her off the ground slightly as he spun them. "This'll be amazing, sweetie, I promise!"

He needed no promises. The thought of having him a mere flight of stairs away was already comforting, in a sense. And she had been to his flat plenty of times. He was right, it was in a good location, and it wasn't any further from her office than she was now, all things considered.

Gil set her on her feet once more. "I'll talk to him tonight."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself," she advised gently. It wasn't often she was able to offer a calming voice of reason these days; it felt familiar, even soothing. She toyed with some some stray hairs of his. "I may have to apply, like everyone else."

"Peh," Gil waved in dismissal again (making her laugh, again). "The old guy loves me. And that's before I tell him some sob story about wanting my girlfriend to move in so we can be closer."

Thena blushed softly, toying with the hem of her cardigan. Sometimes she had to remind herself that Gil wasn't just 'someone she was seeing', and actually the man she had known for more than half a year and had been dating for more than half that time, now.

"It'll be great," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "We can carpool to work, I'll be right downstairs if you ever wanna talk--or cuddle."

"Gil," she admonished, but it came out as a light and air whisper as he kissed her cheek again, his five o'clock shadow against her skin.

He stopped nuzzling her just to look at her more solemnly. "You should tell Druig."

"It was your idea."

"Exactly," Gil made a face, shrinking somewhat. "He'll kill me."

Thena rolled her eyes, her spirits lifting by the moment. "It's not as if you're offering to shack up with me yourself."

He didn't laugh at her joke. He didn't even seem to realise it was a joke, just shrugged one shoulder. "I mean they're both only one bedroom units. Plus, I imagine you want some space for yourself for a little. Feel like you have some more control?"

Well, he was exactly right about that, as always. Although she hadn't expected his rebuttal to be that they would need a larger space if they were to live together. She just blinked, "precisely."

"So it's decided," he grinned again, and gave her another kiss for good measure. "I'll go talk to Karun, you talk to Druig. He really is worried about you."

"I know," she mumbled, feeling properly chastised. She unlinked her hands from behind his head and squeezed his forearms. "I'm sure he was desperate to call you."

"And I'm suggesting you move into my building instead of in with him?--he's gonna have my head."

Thena laughed genuinely for the first time that night. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from him."

Gil stared at her in a way that made her toes curl. He bent his head down to sneak into the crook of her neck under her jaw. "I know you will."

She shivered as he left a kiss on her pulse point.

But he left it at that, pulling away and standing to his full height again. It left her feeling chilly, needing to pull her cardigan tighter around herself. "Okay."

Thena nodded, letting him take her by the hand. She did have to talk to Druig--about everything. About moving and also about how she would be okay without him hovering over her shoulder. She would be okay without that hell hole and its medication and she would be okay even if she felt like this different version of herself, possibly forever.

Gil grasped the doorknob with his other hand, the door not fully closed and letting in just a sliver of light from the rest of the house. He held her other hand, giving it a squeeze. "Ready?"

She nodded, holding his hand tighter, just in case she needed it. But she smiled, "ready."

[tritoch]

me: oh wow an ffxiv theory/meta post! i love these even when i don't agree with them. i wonder if this person will highlight an underdiscussed aspect of the setting, or reframe someone's characterization interestingly the post: "in the original japanese--" me: unsubscribed. blocked. reported. hie thee hence and never darken my door again.

[lots-o-doodles]

My 2023 Tumblr Top 10

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[quietwingsinthesky]

if i ever have to play beyond two souls again im going to kill someone someone’s life ends with me

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[steakout-05]

i was thinking about how it took me a while to figure out i'm aegosexual (which basically means that there's a disconnect between yourself and being the subject of attraction) and i thought about how much i really dislike and just cannot see myself in slash reader fics. i tend to dislike these fics for multiple reasons, but some of them include that the reader self insert is usually really boring, has no personality outside of being lovey dovey and isn't unhinged enough for certain characters for reasons outside of contrasting personalities for my tastes (like spamton for example, why are you writing a normal protagonist to pair with fuckin spamton of all characters). but another reason is that i literally cannot connect myself to the reader self insert. like i cannot imagine myself in their place at all, it's always another stand-in that i imagine instead and thinking about myself in their place makes me uncomfortable. i can't see myself in their place because i don't see myself as a subject of attraction, and i'm repulsed to that idea. so i imagine someone else instead because that's better to me. and also because of the aforementioned reasons that have more to do with the writing of the self insert, i just cannot imagine myself acting the way the self insert does because I Personally Would Not Fucking Do That™. like i would not be romantically kissing a guy on a date, i would be infodumping about my special interests for 3 hours and then start ranting about how funny cars are while he just smiles and nods lmao

this is why i've never really self-shipped with any character. like i can be attracted to them and be like "i wanna hold his hand/kiss him/do inexplicable things to his psyche", but in reality i could never actually see myself as a subject of attraction by this character, so i'd either ship them with another character i like or imagine a sort of stand-in that has some of my traits and lives out my fantasies but still isn't me. i can fall in love but i can never connect because ew that's gross and weird. watching from the sidelines by reading fics and looking at fanart about characters being shipped with others and being intimate with each other is more my cup of tea.

[lesbianaelwen]

i Unfortunately haven't been able to be on here bc i've been so fucking busy but i Have been keeping up with d20 stuff and just. burrow's end is so good for me specifically

[thecowboykatsuki-anon]

In desperate need of a human heating pad

[diaz-fox]

i've always had a thing where i'll get really excited about something and i tend to ramble about it and nine times out of ten, i'll get told to shut up or i'll be made to feel bad about enjoying smth sm (like for example i dont talk about the umbrella academy to anyone at all anymore even though it's my favourite show bc people always make me feel bad for talking about it so much or they give passive one word answers that make it obvious they just want me to shut up or they'll respond by pointing out flaws in it or things they don't like abt it or reasons i should feel bad for enjoying it etc. the list is endless and many many people have done this to me) so i just.... don't talk about stuff that much anymore (unless it's stranger things ofc bc you're all in this boat with me)

anyway, my point is... this has always stopped me from commenting on fics (it's stupid, i know) but i always felt like getting excited and ranting in a comment about how much i love the thing is like ???? nah they don't wanna hear what i think, i'm gonna shut up. but the last few days i've commented on three different fics and i've pushed past this weird barrier that's been in the way and it feels ???? so NICE to say nice shit to people and to appreciate their work idk

[lightningfilledsaber]

I’ll be talking about the last post I reblogged in the tags of this post for the sake of the person I reblogged it from

[great-and-small]

My grandfather and my godfather (a beloved neighbor and dear family friend) had a long standing bet- for one dollar- about who would die first. Both of them being slightly pessimistic (in the funny way), they both insisted that they themselves would be the first to die. Any time my grandfather had a health scare, he’d gleefully call up my godfather to boast that he’d be passing “any day now” and he was sure to win the bet. It was a big family joke and they were always amiably sparring and comparing notes about who was in worse shape, medically speaking.

When my grandfather was in hospice care dying of liver cancer, my godfather was quite ill also. It took him great effort to make the journey to see his dying friend. As he came into the room, supported by a family member, he shuffled to my grandpa’s bedside and silently handed him a dollar bill. He was ceding his loss of the bet, as they both knew who was going first. My grandpa had been in quite bad shape for a while and was no longer able to speak but let me tell you he snatched that dollar with unexpected strength and literally laughed aloud. He knew exactly what the gesture meant and he couldn’t help but find the humor within the grief. It was the last time any of us heard my grandpa laugh, as he passed shortly after.

When I talk about my appreciation for “dark humor” I’m not so much thinking about edgy jokes, but rather the human instinct to somehow, impossibly, both find and appreciate the absurdity that is so often folded into the profound grief of life and death. When I tell this story I think it kind of perturbs people sometimes, but it’s honestly one of my favorite memories about two men I really deeply admired. I could never hope for anything more than for my loved ones to remember me laughing until the very end, and taking joy in a little joke as one of my final acts.

[floral-hex]

real sad boy hours