#let people identify with whatever label they want

[minisculecakes]

“Bisexuality excludes non binary people” Fuck. What am I going to tell my partner…?

[lee-blogs]

Do you think anyone can identify as queer or part of the community?

This feels like a loaded question for some reason, but yes, with very few exceptions.

Like i said in my tags, the only exceptions i hold (and i think everyone else should too) is if someone also identifies as a MAP, ZOO, or any other wholley degenerate thing that isn't and never will be lgbtia+

*Those are paraphilias and they need mental health treatment for them, they are not sexualities and never will be, period.*

(Also be sure to read my tags; i do tend to ramble a bit, but i also go more in-depth about certain stuff too. I just disn't want to make this post too long)

[terr4ance]

this is one of the (many) situations where I find labels less helpful than just going unlabelled. all this is complicated, and asexuality is a spectrum with many flavours and variations, meaning the label "asexual" can communicate many different things. this makes it ambiguous regardless of how you use it

there probably are hyper-specific labels for exactly how you feel, but whether you choose to use them or not is up to you. labels are like a toolbox - you may find some useful, and others not. if using both helps you or others understand your identity better, then go for it. merely asking the question will probably give you a better understanding, and if your conclusion afterwards is that you don't feel the need to use one or both of those labels then that's also cool

I need y’all’s opinion. Like, I’m physically attracted to both men and women, but don’t like sex. Help?

[penguinsfly]

I unfortunately saw something I didn't want to see and that was my last straw. I'm fucking doing this.

Let's establish this first. Alastor is stated in the show to be asexual that is not up to discussion. He is also very heavily implied in the same conversation to be aromatic. 'An Ace in the hole' being used in context of him being with Charlie is also implying his aromanticism.

VIDEO

If that's not enough then here is Viv speaking about his romantic orientation. It's pretty clear despite the fact that afterwards she said it's okay to headcanon whatever (it's not but I will get o that later) that he is written purely as an aro ace character.

On top of that going by Alastor's interaction with Angel from the pilot and the first episode it is clear that he is sex repulsed. Not only that but on the fandom website he is stated to be touch averse with two sources which you can check out on the website.

Hazbin hotel wiki, Alastor page

Now we established that Alastor is canonically Asexual, Aromantic, Sex Repulsed and Touch Averse

As I also am all of the above I'll try to explain everything to the best of my ability as simply as I can.

Aromanticism and Asexuality.

I'm probably targeting the audience that knows those terms but regardless I will explain it anyway.

Aromantic - people that experience little to no romantic attraction towards any gender

Asexual - people that experience little to no sexual attraction towards any gender.

Little to no

Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums in which people can feel certain attractions towards people but those attractions are less occurring or are defined by personal connection.

Diagram from AVEN website

However some people are at the end of the spectrum, they never felt attraction and that's valid. Alastor was stated to be aroace he wasn't written as demi or as gray he was written as aroace as in the end of the spectrum. His repulsion and not giving shit about romance or sex speaks for itself.

Representation

I do understand that everyone wants to be represented but it's so important to understand that aroace people are one of the most underrepresented queer groups in the media.

And I'm not here to scream about how I want my fav character to be just like me I don't care for it I'm way too confident in my orientation to rely on that however I'm tired of explaining to people what asexuality and aromanticism is just to receive 'are you sure' or 'you'll change your mind' or 'its not real' or the community favourite 'you'll find the right person' no I won't I'm not looking thank you very much (I just smile and nod to be polite and I'm sick of it).

'Harmless' buts like: 'He might be on the spectrum', 'AroAce people can still feel attraction' hurt the final outcome for all the people on the spectrum not only strictly aroaces because it allows people to write one shots with 'Demi Alastor' that falls in love in 2000 words because he is 'demi' (spoiler alert: they don't understand what that label means). It's just a cover, an opening, sneaky way to disregard his orientation, feel good about themselves and move on. Newsflash there is no moving on for aroace people it's our life.

Shipping

Shipping is just harmless fun right? Usually yes but not in this case. In the same way its not okay to ship gay characters with genders they are not attracted to.

It's erasure and since there is much less people identifying on aro/ace spectrums then there is gay or bi people our voices are being silenced. Not to mention that gay people received support from entire LGBTQIA+ community over the years in contrast to aro/ace specs who to this day are told that we are 'not queer enough' or 'not oppressed enough' often by other queer people.

And finally... FINALLY we get cannon Aro/Ace character that is clearly not interested in romance and sex. Character that beats stereotypes of boring and timid aro/ace people and what's the first people do? They ship him. Alastor's storyline provides so many points to be explored like 'what is his backstory', ' what's about his deal', ' how does he fit in in the found family trope' , 'does he care about hotel guests' yet people choose to write about the only thing that he is not interested in. As a heavily repulsed person that used to be horrified about the fact that I'll have to fall in love with somebody at some point before I found out what aro/ace is I find it repulsive and trust me he would too.

But Viv said it's okay!

Its the same point once again. What if Viv said that it's okay to ship gay Angel with woman. She doesn't have authority to say shit like that.

Queerplatonic relationships

I can't tell you not to do it I don't think he would be necessary interested in it but for fuck sake do your research and try to understand what queerplatonic means before you use it as a cover to shamelessly ship him. Respect the fact that he is sex repulsed and touch averse and you're fine.

Why can't you just avoid it?

First of all I shouldn't have to. Alastor's orientation should be respected in the fandom like any other orientation is. Second of all I've tried. I tried to only look up AroAce Alastor tag I've blocked over 80 people on tumblr alone (I just counted) to avoid to see anything that could trigger me and I'm not talking about slightly shippy posts or fanarts I'm talking about full blown disregard towards his orientation. Guess what it didn't work!

Archive of our own where do I start. I've used this website for over a decade and I could probably count days I didn't go there on my fingers. I'm fluent in AO3 I know which tags I should block. I know how to skim thorough the summary and tags to see if I'm interested. I've seen shit I'm a shipper I've been on ao3 for ten years but never had to mentally prepare myself to face queerphobia as I click on the tab.

Just use aro/ace Alastor tag.

I do and let me tell you people can't tag for shit or they just pretend to be clueless at this point. Besides see this?

there is more ff with Alastor/reader (disgusting) than there is Alastor with his canon orientation and to play the devils advocate for arophobic people there is more Angel/Alastor then his stated in the show sexuality. I understand that fandom goes back before the show was aired but Viv confirmed his orientation back then too.

Summary

I could go on and on bout different issues and maybe I will in the future but I'm not wasting anymore of this weekend on it. I'm ready to answer any questions as long as they are respectful.

I'm aware that he is a fictional character, it doesn't affect him in any way whatsoever but it does affect aromantic and asexual people keep it in mind.

If there are any mistakes grammar related I'm not sorry I'm fluent in English (not my first language) but I took 3h nap in between and I'm sleep deprived.

Have a nice day.

[chaoticbiguysblog]

I feel like initially most people were on the same page about Tommy Kinnard, they were like ok let's see where it goes and we got Bi Buck!! Like, in April, I was on top of the world bc of Bi Buck, and I was so excited for him and eager to see where it goes, even the ones who didn't want him for Buck from the start were indifferent to him.

But I feel like the divide and the ship wars intensified was when people started using the "healthy male friendship" and "why can't two men just be friends" argument against Buddie, we have hundreds, if not thousands of those in pop culture and homophobes often use this argument against lgbt rep, so to see a group, some if not most of which are queer themselves use the same argument is off putting.

Then, whether you're his fan or a hater, you gotta agree that Tommy's character is a blank slate, he's not been given much to do, besides a few moments, and a significant part of that is him being racist and sexist to two fan favourite characters: Chim and Hen respectively (similarly people disliked Taylor for what she did to Bobby, the redemption and forgiveness before she started dating Buck was implied but it's not enough). Other than that he doesn't have a lot of qualities. And what happens is fans project a lot of things on him. What made me abandon the Tevan ship was people "stealing" Eddie's character traits and projecting it onto Tommy, while labelling him a terrible mentally insane father who uses Buck for his own gain, yada yada yada. And I love Buck and Eddie equally, so to me that was irritating.

Also, since he doesn't have many character traits, his lines, which are intended as sassy can come off as him being a dismissive and condescending dick.

Then for the off screen side of things, we were constantly told Buck is straight, by the actors and the showrunner but everyone was like eh whatever, and then our headcannons were proven right, but suddenly theorising about Eddie and that a lot of queer people including myself identify with him is looked down on if not straight up mocked, and that the canon storylines are the only ones that matter have made the fandom a bit toxic.

Buddies are often accused of blindly hating on Tommy, that he's hated only bc he's not the guy we wanted Buck to kiss, so I feel like I should lay it out as to why a lot of us went from being indifferent or open to the guy to straight up hating him.

[chronicbeans]

Queerplatonic Alastor x Reader Headcanons

Hehe my plan of writing headcanons for various Aroace-spec identity Alastor headcanons has begun. This one is with a cupioromantic and asexual Alastor in mind. I haven't seen enough of them, and as they say! "If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself."

TW: Frustrations regarding romantic identity, complete unawareness of certain LGBTQ+ topics (my man's from the 1920's, he's almost completely in the dark), slight yandere behavior? (I feel he's just obsessive by default, regardless of the relationship type)

• So, this man has never necessarily identified himself with any sort of LGBTQ+ labels. Back in his day, there weren't any terms to use for being asexual or aromantic. At least, not any that he knew of. He's always been comfortable with his sexuality, though! His main thought process was always "I'll probably find someone that I'm attracted to at some point, and if I don't, that's alright." That thought process has also followed him down to Hell, and stayed the same for all these years.

• However... Whilst he's very comfortable with his sexuality... His romantic feelings are very complicated, now. He's always desired to have one, and he's very confused as to why he hasn't felt any romantic attraction, yet. It makes sense that someone who wants a romantic relationship to be able to feel romantic attraction, yes? He's very much in the dark to the complexities of how these things really work, mostly due to him being from the 1920s-30s. He's caught up on slang and technology, but he hasn't bothered to keep up with sexualities and romantic identities, as he doesn't think about them much.

• So, does he ask any more modern demons and sinners for help? Ha! No. He's too prideful, and simply assumes that there probably isn't much of a difference in knowledge on romantic attraction as compared to his day. Yes, he's aware that there's way more identities for sexualities. People talk about them often, and he hears terms thrown around here and there as he walks through Hell. He never hears anything in regards to romance, though. It's simply not talked about as often, from his experience. So, he's completely in the dark. If anything, he's probably completely unaware that there are identities for romantic attraction.

• He does what he can to cope. This whole situation is very frustrating for him. However, at the same time, he thinks that it shouldn't be so frustrating. So, it's embarrassing to him, and he doesn't tell anyone about it. Instead, he does what he believes everyone who is single and ready to mingle does: reading romance novels. More specifically, he flips to parts where said attraction is described, or little scenarios that he wants is going on. Restaurant dates, walking through the park, dancing, holding hands and cuddling. Those sorts of things! Things nobody would ever expect someone as unhinged as him would want...

• The most frustrating part, however, is that he feels he should already be feeling such an attraction to you. You, being his most close friend. You're the one he trusts with certain secrets, one of the few people he doesn't mind touching him unprompted (besides, say, Niffty), and probably the only person he lets his smile down around. Though, he rarely does so, as he doesn't want to worry you. Unlike Niffty, who he sees as having a more familial feeling towards, he sees you as a close friend. His closest friend, but just a close friend, which frustrates him to no end.

• It takes him a long time to even think of mentioning it to someone. However, when he does, he'd feel too awkward to bring it up to you. So, he decides to speak to Charlie about it! After all, she has one of the more "modern" relationships. So, she probably also knows something about whatever is going on with him! And after the long and grueling process of talking to her? He comes out even more frustrated than before. Being unable to feel romantic attraction, but still want romance? Cupioromantic? It is all so confusing. However, he won't question it. He's clearly out of his zone, and he was horribly wrong when assuming the world of romance hadn't progressed...

• You, however, are his most trusted friend. His closest friend. So, he decides to waste no time in deciding to propose an idea to you. He's heard of these things called "queerplatonic relationships", and his understanding is that they are like friendships, but with some more traditionally romantic interactions involved. Which, whilst his understanding of the nature of queerplatonic relationships may be a bit off, he's trying his best. Once you explain it a bit further, emphasizing that they're closer relationships than friendships, but not romantic and can vary widely in affectionate interactions, he is immediately is set on trying to start one with you. Luckily, though, you agree rather quickly.

• Despite him wanting many of your interactions and ways of showing affection to be more traditionally romantic, such as cuddling or going out on friendly dates, he won't cross any boundaries. Both because you're his closest, most prized relationship with another person, and because he can't think of many other people who would even be willing to enter such a relationship with him if he ever asked. Not that he'd want to ask anyone else. There's a reason why he immediately went to you. It's hard for him to describe it, though. Despite being a man of words, whenever he tries to explain why he feels like you are the perfect person for him to enter this queerplatonic relationship with, he stumbles heavily.

• His little ideal for this relationship is, essentially, the types of things he's read in the romance novels he has. Sure, a little bit of a twisted version of it, but at it's core it's the same. He wants to cuddle in a nice, safe, and warm room (while there's probably the screams of an extermination going on the background). He wants to go to restaurants (this man's a cannibal so check your food). He wants to do the cheesy move of handing you red roses and candy as a gift (do not ask how he was able to buy such an expensive brand, or where the two large, heavy trash bags came from or what they are filled with).

• He's going to be very, VERY protective of you. Almost, if not completely to an obsessive degree. He knows how Hell is. People want power, and he's powerful, and you are close to him. He's sure many people are going to go after you, in order to get to him. So, your little relationship is going to be as well protected of a secret as it can be, at first, until he believes he can properly protect you from any danger. And after the secret is out, he's going to be right by your side the entire time. Literally. Whenever he can be, he's next to you. Nobody, except maybe Vox or another pesky overlord, is going to try to hurt you as long as he is there. Even then, he could completely destroy them, anyways!

[cinefairy]

it’s your personal journey

spend more time with yourself.

what people forget about the law is that it’s a personal experience. when you spend your time looking for that next post, awaiting for someone outside of yourself to give you the answer or doing millions of methods desperately— you are forgetting that there is nothing to look for outside of yourself.

you are the solution to all your problems.

so many of us find the law when we’re the most upset or hurt in our lives, i know i did. we chain ourselves to our mistakes, our pasts. we ponder on what we could’ve been or what we should’ve done. all the choices we could’ve made and where we would be if we took them.

but why must you re-live your pain over and over again? don’t you see it does nothing but hurt you even more. and give you more reason to be cruel to yourself?

when we acknowledge that we do not have to have to suffer anymore, that attaching ourselves to the past does nothing but give us more reasons to feel worthless we have this desire to do better.

we may have not made the best choices in the past, we may have not lived up to certain expectations but thats not a reason to give up on ourselves and submit ourselves to failure, we cant beat ourselves up for as long as we live.

"But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever" — Haruki Murakami

so..imagine. imagine all the things you want to imagine, maybe right now they’re impossible or you cant even see it materialising. oh well. who cares? does it make you feel good? if the answer is yes, do it!

don’t enter your imagination with the intention of manifesting something in the 3D, you’ll only be left starving. imagine because it feels good, imagine because you’re no longer trapped. you’re free in imagination. imagine because you deserve all the great things in life.

eat the citrus fruit of your life and enjoy every bit of it, suck the juice from every finger, run your tongue over your chin and savour every last bit. do it because no one is stopping you, do it because you are free too.

fulfil yourself inwardly. it’s actually a very beautiful thing to do so— when you give yourself what you want & claim ownership of it, you no longer need validation from the external world.

you no longer depend on the external world and lean on it to tell you what you are. you identify yourself with whatever you wish to be identified as so go above and beyond— you don’t need a reason why. you don’t need anyone’s permission approval to fulfil yourself within but your own.

it’s more about getting your desire, this is about identifying yourself as who you want to be. this is about not letting society/external world label you but you labelling yourself on your own terms.

[chaussetteblanche]

"I can't do this anymore,"

pairing : hobie brown x reader summary : you can't put up with being in a relationship with hobie anymore, angst word count : 1.5k warnings : 18+ mentions of smut note : i try to make the reader as neutral as possible so that anyone can read and identify to them ! if you see anything that isn't neutral (gender, skin colour, etc.) please don't hesitate to tell me :)

When you’d first started seeing Hobie, you’d been warned by himself and some of his friends of his… particular tendencies. But you’d thought nothing of it. So what if he liked to get away from time to time? You understood, sometimes the world was too loud even for you. So what if he ghosted people for days on end at some moments? He liked his peace. So what if he would show up at your place battered and bruised? The protests you attended weren’t always peaceful either. You truly hadn’t thought you would mind it. Not one bit.

But then you’d had a breakdown one night. You’d wanted nothing more than his comforting arms around you, his soothing voice telling you that everything was going to be alright. And he had been nowhere to be found. He had vanished off the face of the Earth. And then another time, you got accepted into all the colleges you’d applied for. You were absolutely ecstatic and had rung him up immediately to tell him the good news. Once again, it was as if he wasn’t even on the same planet as you. He'd begged you to come to this one specific show and had been so excited about it, but when you had showed up, he had been nowhere to be seen. You had spent the entire evening alone. The show had been amazing, of course, but it was never the same without Hobie. You had sent him a text one evening, wanting to see if he wanted to grab a bite together the next day and he’d only answered five days later.

Even when he'd shown up at your doorstep and didn't give you time to greet him before he was on you, pushing your body flush against the wall as his hands roamed you, you didn't question it. Not even did you ask about it when he fucked you from behind, shoving his cock into your dripping hole like there was no tomorrow, his eyes glued to the spot where you met, white rings coating his dick. Or when he ate you out like a starved man trying to quench something deep inside him, making you sing and arch your back in the most beautiful way, you'd never asked. Even when he’d crashed through your window one evening, almost ripping your curtains out of the wall and staining your hardwood floor with blood, you had never brought it up again. You’d patched him up the best you could, gave him something to eat, drink, and a place to stay the night, just like you had done all the previous times. The next morning, when you’d started asking questions, he’d told you not to worry about it. About him. But that was easier said than done.

You had been willing to put up with it. Everything. No labels? Sure, of course, no problem. You understood, they were oppressing and made you expect something from the other person. You shared pretty much the same view on society and how it all could be saved, so the rest wasn’t that complicated. That drawer you couldn’t open whatever the reason? No problem, everybody was entitled to some kind of privacy. The music? You weren’t the biggest fan, but that had never been a problem, you were open to new things.

But when everything started to have an impact on you, your well-being, and your mental health, that was where you drew the line. You’d come too far to let yourself be ruined by anybody, even if that person was Hobie Brown. You loved and respected yourself too much to let yourself be destroyed by him. And that was when you knew it had to end. Whatever it had been. It wasn’t fair to you, or to him.

When he’d tapped at the window one evening, you had been slow to open it. He’d crawled inside your room and promptly sat down on the floor, resting against the wall. “Hey, luv,” His voice, although soothing as it always had been, made you tense up. “Are you hurt?” You kneeled next to him and gently took hold of his chin, lifting his face and angling to the side, looking for any kind of injury. He met you with a curious gaze, sensing something was off immediately. He knew you too well. He leaned forward to give you a kiss but you turned your head to the side, making his lips meet your cheek instead. He frowned but didn't comment. “Just a scratch,” he answered, lifting his shirt up to reveal three impressive wounds which almost looked like claw marks. You cussed under your breath and hurried over to the bathroom to pull out a first-aid kit. You dropped to your knees next to him, like you'd done so many times before that you'd become accustomed to the bruises, and started pulling out all the things you would need to treat his wound.

"How did this happen?" you asked quietly as you sprayed some disinfectant on the scratches. He looked past your head, at the poster you had on your wall. Your breathing was shallow. He didn't like when you got worried about him. He preferred your shallow breathing in other situations. "Some pig with really long nails, I guess. I don't remember all of it, honestly, t'all went really fast," You said nothing, your lips pressed together tightly. You knew damn well the wounds he came back with weren't from pigs. Of course, they were violent and sometimes lethal, and you hated them for it, but they didn't leave wounds like this. This wasn't anything human, you were sure of it. "You alright, my love?" Hobie asked after a second. You were concentrated on placing a few butterfly stitches and took a few seconds to answer.

"I can't do this anymore, Hobie," you sighed, sitting back on your ankles. He immediately sat up straighter, worried eyes looking over your face before landing on his wounds. "Oh, I can take it from 'ere, luv, you've already done so well-" "I mean us, Hobes, I can't do this," you motioned between him and you," anymore." He seemed to forget all about his injury and got on his knees, taking hold of your hands. "What do you mean by that?" he asked calmly. You hated how collected he could stay in a moment like this.

"I mean you're clearly lying to me about something. Something big, too. And you can have your reasons, I respect that, but I can't put up with it anymore, it- it's not fair to me." You cursed your voice for trembling. Your insides felt like they were on fire and you wanted nothing more than to cry in his arms. But you couldn't. You had to stay strong. "Why do you think I'm lying to you about something?" "Are you serious?" you scoffed, ripping your hands away from his and standing up. He inhaled sharply, wincing. "You show up at my window battered and bruised, saying it was pigs! You know damn well if they had actually gotten their bloody hands on you, you wouldn't be here to tell the story, and I wouldn't be here, patching you up and keeping my questions to myself, I'd be out in the street marching and screaming your name!" You were pacing around your room now, unable to keep still with the turmoil of emotions inside you. His heavy gaze followed your every movement. Your eyes burned with tears. "So, I don't know what it is, if you're a criminal or a bloody superhero, or if you get some kind of kick out of getting your ass beat, and I don't care, I just can't stand being in the dark!"

Hobie pushed himself to his feet with the help of your windowsill. He wobbled and you steadied him by reflex before pulling away, as if his touch had burned you. You ignored the hurt look on his face and the deep crease in his brows. "And- and even when you're here, with me, I feel like you're not here entirely... Like you're just- out of reach or something. And I can't take it anymore, Hobie. This whole thing, it's too much. I deserve an explanation. Or I deserve better."

You'd never seen that look on his face before. He looked like he was about to be sick. He ran a hand over his face and let out a deep sigh, sitting back down. "You're right, I'm being unfair to you. I was worried about that at first, but you took it like a champ, so I never thought about it again." "Thought about what again?" you pressed, your throat tight. "About what I was making you go through by being with me."

You took a shaky breath, feeling the pit in your stomach growing by the second. "Hobie, is there anything you'd like to tell me?" "Yeah, I think there is."

[queertranshappiness]

A Message To Anyone Who Needs It

An essay of support for any queer youth or people who need it.

(Word count: 1.8k, Reading Time: ~10 minutes. CW: transphobia mentions, however, this does have a hopeful ending.)

Hey there.

To anyone who needs it. Wherever you are, whoever you are. However you identify, whatever name you use, whatever pronouns you use. I have some things to tell you.

It feels like the world is on fire again. Maybe to you, it always feels like that. You’re scared of another attack, of what might happen next. Maybe you’re scared of what bullies or teachers will tell you. Maybe you’re scared of politicians attacking your rights. Maybe you’re scared of how your family might react to your identity. Maybe you’re scared about exploring yourself, scared of what might happen. 

To begin with, I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. You, and your identity, are not the reason for these fears you have to carry on your shoulders. It is not your fault the world can be like this. It is society’s fault for allowing misinformation and hate to breed, and the fault of those spreading it. These people do not define you, or your worth, or your rights. You have a right to be treated like any other child or young person. You have a right to freedom, to self expression. To the healthcare you want and need, to play the sports you love however is most affirming for you. To learn in a safe and inclusive environment, to see your story in people who have gone before, and to pee in peace. In short: to be yourself, in every way possible. 

The people attacking these precious things, no matter how loud they seem, do not represent most people in your country, your city or town, and the world. Most people are kind, and seek to let gender diverse people of all sorts live in peace. It is a minority, who are screaming at the tops of their lungs, as they know they have nothing behind their hateful rhetoric. They are standing on towers of cards that are finally beginning to fall in, and it is their death screams we are hearing. That is not to disregard the damage they are causing in the moment, it hurts, and it is disgusting what they are doing to innocent people like you. However, we are stronger than them, and we always have been.

There have been queer and genderqueer people in all of humanity’s history. From the myths of Mesopotamia through to queer characters in modern shows, for thousands of years we have existed, fought to be ourselves, and thrived. You might feel alone, and not have anyone to look up to who is like you, or feel like you’re the only one like this. However, you are never alone. There’s been many times where I have had to be the brave one, stand up and tell the room who I was… and I found others like me in the process. It is scary, but you have so much power in becoming who you are. Never forget that. You being yourself, and being the best person you can be, inspires so many people, in ways you can’t even see or count.

You might be scared now, not sure where to go… but I promise you, someday, you will be looking back and be so proud of your younger self. However, you have to be there to see it happen, and so, I ask you to do one thing for me. No matter what happens, no matter who you meet, who you are, or whatever a politician decides to throw at you… hold on, as tight as you can. It is hard, and it can be painful, right now. But there is strength in the small things. Find the music that makes you feel heard. Find the stories that make you go ‘wait… there’s an adult like me out there?’. Find the people that light up your face, and give you courage and love when you need it. Use whatever labels you want, if you find them helpful. Don’t use any, if you want. Use whatever pronouns make you happy, whether they be a single set, a combination, or a big list of neopronouns that make you feel good. Name yourself however you want, it can be as similar to your old name or as different to it as you want. The most important thing is that it makes you happy, and that is the thing to prioritise. Don’t let someone else’s misinformed hatred decide who you are. By figuring out what makes you happy, you are taking a stand and telling them: ‘No! You will not define who I am, I am here, and I am myself, and no one else will decide that for me!’. There is more strength in that than you will ever realise, as by doing that… you might inspire someone else to learn about something new, or try something new they’ve been meaning to try for ages, but didn’t know how to begin with.

You are some of the greatest and strongest people I have ever known. You inspire us every day to keep on going and fighting for ourselves, you, and those we love, and we will never ever stop. Even on the dark days when it feels like the world hates you, you have millions of people fighting for you, your life, and your happiness. In your school and community, in your city, and in your country, there are people just like you and people who love you and support you, even if you haven’t met them yet. There is no one way to be a trans person. We all have different experiences, we’re all of different backgrounds, and we are all here together for you. I am sure there is another person like you, out there, living the best way they can, and thriving despite the world. You will find them. Alongside that, you will find your chosen family, the people that help you become the person who you’ve always known you’ve wanted to be. When you’re scared, terrified or panicked, we will reach out for your hands and pull you back up. We will restore your courage and your love. We are fighting with all we’ve got to make sure that you will have a happy life, and we won’t stop until everyone gets the happiness that they deserve.

There is, and will be, more to your story than broken systems, oppression, and hateful politicians. There will be friendship, there will be song, there will be the solidarity the community showed you when you needed it. There will be the times when you stood up for someone in need, the power of existing beyond what other people dream of… and most importantly, even if it doesn’t feel like it now… there will be joy. There will be hope. There will, someday, be a better future. In the long term… this is a political bubble. These politicians and hateful people are the last of their generation, and they will fail. Because no matter how loud they are… in the words of a friend of mine, it comes from them being empty cans. There is more of us out there who love you, honour you, and believe in your truth, your happiness, and your lives. And unlike them, we have a reason to fight… and we will win.

Another thing you can do is to try act out of hope, and not out of despair. We naturally, as people, run away from fear and negativity. What would it look like instead if we framed our transitions, and our journeys, not just in that way but in life in general… as going towards joy? Imagine, even if it’s just for a second, your ideal world. Who would you be? What would you look like, if you had everything you wanted? Who would you love, in whatever ways come to you? What would people be like? What would you do day to day? Hold that image in your mind. That is dreaming of a better future, and it is incredibly powerful. The people screaming transphobic rhetoric don’t want you to be able to do that, but they can never take it away from you, no matter what they do. With that world in mind, what’s something you can do, right in this moment, to make that world closer? Something to make the world a bit better, or a bit more free, or to make yourself a little bit happier. Whatever it is, go out and do it, to the best of your ability. Whether that be to do something kind, research a new label, try a new pronoun set, try out a new hobby, make art, or just rest and have a good sleep. You have done something against the oppression of the moment, by daring to believe in yourself when they don’t want you to. Be proud of that, and do it over and over again, whenever you can. This power is hope, and it will never be defeated, no matter what happens. Next time you’re scared, try act towards who you want to be, and the world you want to see, rather than because of the pain of the present. It is much more sustainable, and you will go far with it.

Finally, always remember that you are loved, and you are valued. You are the only person on this earth who can experience life in the way that you do. Every day you wake up and choose life is a victory. You are allowed to be human, to make mistakes, and try new things. There is nothing wrong with who you are, how you feel, or what you dream of. The most important things are letting yourself be, not hurting others, and fixing your mistakes. Your best will always be enough, and remember to rest. Love as hard as you can, both those you love and yourself. Take time to yourself in all that you do, and do the best you can do, in the ways that are right for you and your situation. It is not your fault the world can be so dark as it feels like it is, and someday, it will get better. To get us there, never give up hope. Keep on dreaming of the world you want and the world you know can happen, and do anything you can to bring it closer. No matter what, live on, so you can be there for those better days, even if it’s just the smallest thing getting a tiny bit easier. That is a victory, and you deserve to celebrate it. Celebrate yourself and celebrate your joy. It is a long road… but you’ve got plenty of time to make it to that world, and as long as you don’t give up… victory will come.

[brucewaynehater101]

Grandpa Janet's maiden name, father of David Cain, Mary Grayson, and Janet I honestly hc that Drake is actually her maiden name and Jack took her name instead of the other way around because Janet's family had more of a history and let Jack somewhat avoid the nouveau riche label, was indeed a supporter of trans rights and he got into many bar fights as a younger man when he stepped between a lady and a dude who wouldn't take no for an answer. Grandpa Drake was of the belief that "no" was a full and complete sentence and one of his pet peeves was people trying to badger others into changing the "no" to a "yes". Grandpa Drake studied pharmaceutical chemistry and took Drake Industries into the medical field.

He met the future Grandma Drake in one of the bar fights. She was a ballerina and had the skill and strength to break a man's neck with a kick if she wanted. Normally she just broke legs or noses instead. She was her ballet troupe's mom friend and designated driver. She was also the sort of person who learned things just for the sake of learning them and after marriage her occupation was essentially professional student.

Shortly after Janet and Jack married, Grandma and Grandpa were abducted by an alien, a past lover of Grandma who had also fallen for Grandpa and this was the alien's way of trying to rekindle their relationship with Grandma while also trying to start a relationship with Grandpa. Maybe they're still alive somewhere in space. Possibly Tim will run into them if he and YJ have more space shenanigans.

The Respectful Womanizer Grandpa Drake AU!

That post was a bit ago, so I don't feel like scowering my page to look for it.

I hc Jack took Janet's name as well, regardless if that's factually accurate.

What I remember for the AU and important parts:

Tim's grandfather, Janet's father, was a womanizer. He loved woman. He thus fathered David Cain and Mary Grayson (which makes Tim, Dick, and Cass biological cousins).

Despite loving women, he did not badger them. In fact, that's one of the easiest and instant ways to get on his shit list (trying to force, coerce, or wear someone down for sex). He also loves all women and has had many relations with any consenting individual who identified as such near his age range.

He did face some social backlash and shit cause of the time period, but he was a rich, white man. He also didn't give a fuck what the others said and loved getting into fights (he got smarter about how he picked fights and how he aired out his grievances [more manipulative and subtle if he could]).

Grandma Drake met Grandpa Drake during a bar fight. Obviously, gramps had to ask the gorgeous lady (who could beat the shit out of many grown men in a row) out to at least dinner. Grandma, who saw gramps beating the shit out of disgusting guys and calling out their behavior, agrees.

Grandma and Grandpa Drake have an open relationship, and they are happy with it. They discussed healthy boundaries and how it affected their marriage (which they both agreed to for the legal and social benefits. They loved each other, but they didn't need to get married for their own personal relationship). For plot's sake, let's say Mary and David were born before the grandparents got married. Grandma Drake knew of this and supported Gramps being whatever role of parent both bio parents agreed to.

Janet was born shortly after they got married and was raised on their cunning nature to fight for what they believe in. She saw her father use Drake Industries for good and wanted to discover more about the beauty of humans (including how different cultures treat social statuses/roles [like gender, romance, relationships, attraction, etc.] and how people are free to be themselves).

The part where the grandparents get kidnapped by an alien who's interested in both of them and thus they are alive when Tim runs into them in space? Pure crack and I love it

[enbyfallenfromthedeadstars]

[ CW mention of sex context : rosekiller headcanon ]

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

i love horny-for-Barty! Evan Rosier i love asexual! Evan Rosier

i wanted these two headcanons to coexist so let me present you :

demiromantic! Evan Rosier & demisexual! - acespike! Evan Rosier

Evan Rosier who never felt any kind of things for other people than Bartemius Crouch Jr. because he hasn't been this close and never trusted anyone this much – but his sister – before.

Evan Rosier who all his life believed he was broken before discovering that asexuality and aromantism are a thing, and then had a full identity crisis when he started to be attracted to his best friend.

Evan Rosier who cried in the beggining because he felt like he'll never suceed to truly know himself and at first thought he had to leave a label he felt confortable with.

Evan Rosier who was so confused of what he was feeling in his mind and body when he was around Barty that he had to ask Pandora (not a great help her being aroace! as well) for explanations / help.

Evan Rosier who started having sexual dreams (exclusively with Barty), and honestly had no idea what to do with it, it was just so strange to him.

Evan Rosier who couldn't take his eyes off Barty and looked like a fucking stalker at any time of the day (which his best friend foud kind of hot tbh)

Evan Rosier who loved how their relationship was so flirty everytime that it became unclear to everyone (sometimes even themselves lmao) because it gave the impression that his new, weird and undwieldy feelings are some kind of joke, which made the situation way less stressful for him.

Evan Rosier who didn't feel like he missed an incredible thing all his life nor was sad that he hadn't experienced it sooner, but simply accepted this romantic love as an addition to his platonic ones and was grateful for it.

Evan Rosier who struggled so much to deal with these violent spikes of sexual need at first that he turned red and started sweating in the middle of classes or common room or lunch or whatever, which amused Barty a lot.

Bartemius Crouch Jr. who respected all of this (despite the fact that he constantly wanted him), gave space and time to his lover to discover himself, was still always physically near to him by being on his lap, agressive cuddling, having a hand in his hair or on his thigh... but never tried anything pro-sexual with him outside of his – kinda rare – sudden spikes, and enjoyed every wild and sinful seconds of it when it happened.

Bartemius Crouch Jr. who took matter into his own hands and gave – practical – sex ed classes to his boyfriend (with Reggie on the side reminding them about condoms and STIs while rolling his eyes, yk) but never saw him as a kid nor a late-bloomer and used teasing as a way to be sure of his consent.

Bartemius Crouch Jr. who always looked at Evan lips and ass, almost all day, but didn't dare to initiate the kiss in the beginning out of fear to offense and lose him, and then learned to identify and recognize the peculiar look his lover had when he wanted, when he was dying for some contact with Barty's hands, tongue, neck, pelvis... (this one works so good with non-verbal! Evan as well !)

Bartemius Crouch Jr. who couldn't help but be jealous anytime Evan talked with someone new, even if he perfectly knew what "demisexual" & "demiromantic" mean and how it requires a deep, almost fusional connexion to allow some kind of romantic and sexual feelings.

Rosekiller which, contrary of what other classmates might said, didn't "fixed" or "forced" Evan into anything, but was simply made out of ideal conditions for his aspec identity to fully revealed itself.

Rosekiller which still made out of two potential dangerous and weird murderers freaks in the sickest relationship, builded on possessiveness, bones collection, blood necklaces, bites and hexes.

Of course, have to be correlated with demiromantic! & hypersexual! Bartemius Crouch Jr. ! Barty who, contrary at Evan, never felt broken and simply enjoyed, needed meaningless flirt with everyone all the time because it only leads to sex and makes him feel alive and important. Barty who was kinda deconcerted when he realized he loved Evan, having never really thought it could happen to him. Barty who fucked twice as much men & women to be sure he didn't felt such things with them, and had to face facts. Barty who was terrified of that, of love, of how weak he can become because of it. Barty who decided to give it a try despite it. Barty who flirted with his best friend so hard and so obviously it turned into a sort of joke. Barty who used it to touch him. Barty who, unconsciously, stopped seducing other persons, which made others tilt about the situation. Barty who decided, after having kissed Evan at a party while being drunk, that it was him and not another. Evan who thought exactly the same.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/769230145331593216/question-does-the-word-straight-mean?source=share

I do wonder how old you are anon because I have never heard of trans people not being allowed to be considered straight from anyone but people who consider transness automatically a third gender which many find transphobic. You can be trans and identify as straight. You can identify as literally anything please stop letting people obsessed with policing others dictate what you identify as. Bi lesbians and heterosexual trans people or whatever genderqueer flavor you want. It’s all up to you because all of this is just socially constructed labels to describe ourselves as humans. Other people who take your identify personally are often emotionally immature and controlling.

--

[rainbowsky]

Here's a bit more fandom history for everyone.

It's been a long time since I've heard this incident talked about, but I guess turtles are reminiscing a bit about the kind of things GG's fans subject him to, and this has come back up.

Back in 2019 when GG was in Nanjing for The Untamed fan meet, a hotel staff member left this adorable Jianguo pillow with a little note 'from Jianguo' wishing him success with the concert. GG clearly enjoyed it because he posted it on his Oasis.

At first shrimps were enjoying it because they assumed it was a shrimp who'd done it, but when they realized it was a turtle they freaked out and launched a major cyberbullying campaign against the turtle and flooded the hotel with hundreds of phone calls complaining and trying to get her fired. Some of them threatened to keep calling the hotel every day and overwhelm the phone lines until she was fired.

GG had no choice but to delete the photo. He replaced it with a solid black image, and put the line, "post whatever you want" in his profile.

Just imagine how awful he must have felt, that his fans attacked and harassed a sweet fan who'd made him a lovely gift, nearly getting her fired - all from a post he made showing his appreciation for this cute, thoughtful gift.

If you wonder why GG and DD don't acknowledge turtles and why GG hasn't mentioned XFX by name in years, this is a bit of a clue as to why. GG especially has a lot of reason to be wary of being too personal and open with fans (and no doubt 227 didn't help with that at all). GG and DD know that acknowledging turtles will only harm them and lead to more hate and war from solos.

And GG has repeatedly said - including in his statement on the anniversary of 227, which was the first time he made a direct personal statement about it - that he doesn't believe anyone should identify as "I am ___'s fan."

"I want to tell my fans, everyone has the right to like and hate. No matter if you like or hate, it should be respected and allowed in their own spaces. Of course, this right should be based on rationality and not hurting other people, while following accurate values. I hope that my fans can understand that no matter what field or age, your personal likes and actions shouldn't cross the line or go against that field's ethics or morals. No matter if it's on the Internet or in real life, everyone should be responsible for their own actions. Even more, hope that none of us should be represented by the label 'xxx's fan.'"

GG realizes something that XFX can't seem to get through their heads: when you speak of "fans of Xiao Zhan," that is not synonymous with "XFX," no matter how much they would like everyone to believe that they're his only fan group. Actually, turtles are GG's fans also, as are all people who love and support GG, regardless of how they identify themselves and regardless of how deep or casual is their appreciation for him.

So pretty much ever since this era, and especially after 227, you never hear GG refer to his solo fandom by name. And I don't think that's because he has contempt or disregard for them (although I don't doubt he must harbor 'feelings' about everything they've put him through), rather I think it's because he wants to be inclusive toward all of his supporters, and not let it be thought that he doesn't appreciate everyone, regardless of 'affiliation'.

[4dkellysworld]

Hi Kelly, I currently am really lost in my "journey" and busy studying, how will I be able to realize Self if I'm always identifying with being a girlfriend, student, daughter and a friend... Ik it looks like I'm complaining and it might be true but life is different to everyone, maybe this isn't for me. Personally, manifestation, AV y ND, was and is a rabbit hole... This past summer I decided to let go of everything and behave "normally" again, always following the hipotetic rule of "do A to get B" and I think it's working fine, life is boring as it was before. However I also really want to know self, experience it and finally understand my true nature, but I guess it will take a bit longer. Thanks for your posts

I used to think like that too until I realized it was all ego (as usual). Ego wants full realization now and gets frustrated when it can't drop its identification. During the times I was in that state of mind, I got nowhere. Sure you can go back to the world but it won't truly fulfill you, we're all looking for Self where it's not - in the world. Eventually, you'll come back to this and then be faced with the same conundrum.

Maybe it works for some but I can only speak with my own experiences. Trying to force myself to think/see 'I am not the body' straight off the bat didn't work no matter how hard I tried. However, being open to that possibility without believing nor disbelieving, and then doing spiritual practice to drop more and more ego eventually allowed me to come to that realization. It took patience. Kindness. Allowing things to just be. Accepting things as they are. Surrender. Faith. It happens when it happens. I stopped caring *when* I would be realized, I stopped looking for signs of progress and results. I stopped comparing myself to other's experiences. I stopped getting frustrated that I "wasn't there yet" and stopped defining and labelling where I was at which allowed me peace in the present moment. I just practiced because the practice itself was freeing me more and more. Then one day I found myself (the ego identity) to be quite changed, just things I could not put into words, things that are only intuitively felt but so completely throughout my whole being. Then I understood what the masters meant when they say not to look at time and that everything will happen on its own accord. The disidentification happens on its own as you let go of ego.

So I'd say perhaps you're going about it the wrong way.

If you don't feel ready to completely detach from ego, that's okay too, no judgment there - many people are not. You can work on letting go of whatever limitations you can without trying to give up the ego entirely. Everything has its own time and place. Let things be. It's not something you can force anyway, everyone comes to that decision of their own volition eventually.

I'd recommend that you stop resisting the fact that you have all these identifications, that does nothing to drop them. Just find the practices that work for you and keep dropping ego. Things will happen on their own. Also I recommend reading this and this (or the whole tag) on why mental purification (dropping ego concepts) is important and necessary. It looks like there's too much expectation in general on being able to drop the entire body and mind identification with a single thought but most people will not be able to do this. If you're unable to wipe the mind completely and drop those thoughts that are attached to the dream itself, then dropping the ego through mental purification is how you make progress. This allows more and more of Self to shine through.

Use the mind to investigate the manifested. Be like the chick that pecks at the shell. Speculating about life outside the shell would have been of little use to it, but pecking at the shell breaks the shell from within and liberates the chick. Similarly, break the mind from within by investigation and exposure of its contradictions and absurdities. - Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That

[sirenium]

Greetings and salutations to trans men who are lesbians. You aren't straight if you don't identify as such, and you're certainly not invalidating other experiences! There's no one way to experience being a trans man, nor is there a wrong way to express being a lesbian.

Hello and welcome to people who otherwise identify as lesboys for whatever reason! Are you multigender? Cool! butch who also considers themself a man? Tubular! Genderfluid? Rad! Man adjacent regardless of gender? Wicked! Keep being you!

Guten Tag, Guten Abend (good day, good evening) to gaybians! Don't let nobody tell you your identity is invalid. You're allowed to use all the labels that feel comfortable to you!

Make some noise for the people who use/identify with xenogenders! It's your gender, so do whatever you want with it! This includes those of us who are xenic adults, as well.

Can we get a warm welcome for endo systems? How about tulpas? You're not racist or ableist for having a different system origin! Mixed origin? Quoigenic? Any other type of origin? Y'all are rad, too. Keep being you.

Keep vibing, everyone I mentioned here, as well as those with any other good faith identities I missed!

[pixxiesticksys]

I think a big problem with a lot of the people complaining about Desirdae is that they're just like. Expecting from us.

Like. As someone who experiences atypical dysphoria, I should be allowed to say "I want a word that describes my experience." Just because you don't want that doesn't mean that your want us finite. Quite frankly, I don't fucking care want you want. I want a word that describes MY experience

(bolded words I and My)

And some of you guys are being way too holierthanthou about this. This whole thing has existed for what. A fucking month? If that? Of course people who want to have one are going to hop onto make or find a word that fits their experience. I made words that fit my experience.

The transid community has existed and evolved for fucking years and you guys are comparing it to a newborn subject trying to find it's place in the world. Nearly everything the community is at this point is words to describe things and pretty pictures and people are getting pissy because we aren't fucking philosophers. I'm so so sorry that my coining post for a fucking word did not have in depth every little detail of what is and isn't okay in my holy opinion as the only person who is ever right.

So WHAT if a fucking coining post doesn't have every single way to transition ever or in depth explanation of what transitions are harmful or a 15 page pamphlet on ethics and morality and how nuanced that shit is. It's a fucking coining post. It's a flag and a word to describe an experience felt by an individual it isn't the fucking holy word of your specific God.

I am sure that desirdae help blogs will pop up. I will gladly make a desirdae help blog of my own, if anyone wants that just let me know! I'm literally in the process of creating the desirdae discord server and one of the biggest reasons I wanted to create this was so that we could communicate. So that we could talk about tips for transition and discuss ethics and nuances. Try to help label what is and isn't okay and what is more in depth than that. Try to find workarounds for transition that is harmful. I'm (NOT??) sorry that this community didn't spawn in with every single little thing done in the way YOU want it done. Maybe instead of getting on your little blog and complaining, YOU make the posts discussing the ethics of transitioning for certain terms.

Whining and calling us self hating radqueers literally just shows how little of a say you should have in this in the first place ! You canNOT be a radqueer without identifying yourself as a radqueer

And since we're already here, why don't we just take a poll

We ALL are JUST fucking beings on TUMBLR of all places. And we're all just beings with REAL lives OFF of Tumblr too! This discord server would be going by so much faster if I wasn't sick out of my mind, but that's not where I am in life. Some of us have jobs, school, Important events, disability, disorders, inspections or tests or whatever the hell else. Not everyone alive has the time to make this community fucking pitch perfect in a month! We're doing what we can day by day. No perfection comes in a day. Or a month. Perfect is not fucking possible, it's not real

The newborn community needs time to move past the coin flags and be represented stage. But If you wanted to see something else from it, all you had to do was ask.

@desirdae-archive can we get a boost for that poll there?