#let me cook with this ship guys

[what-if-laconic-was-freaky]

Children of the corn fanfic that nobody asked for.

warnings/tags/whatever: Malachai x Amos, smut, oral sex, anal sex, ice skating, they have sex on the ice, bondage I think, Amos is freaky fr, my extremely cringe first writing, written in my notes app so formatting is terrible

"Amos is almost ready to sacrifice himself to He Who Walks Behind the Rows! Are you ready, Malachai?"

Malachai looked at Isaac, the mastermind of the operation. "Yeah," he replied. Unsatisfied, he slashed at the corn with his machete. Something about the notion of Amos leaving made a pit grow in his stomach.

"Are you thinking impure thoughts, Malachai?"

Malachai skipped a beat. What did he mean by that? He didn't think of Amos in *that* way.

"You and Amos are close acquaintances, Malachai, but Amos' sacrifice is necessary. Don't let your friendship lead to sacrilege."

Malachai eased up, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, but he tensed right back up when he saw Amos walking towards him, blood dripping down his chest. Malachai drew in a sharp breath as the sanguine stream lined Amos' toned abs.

"I'm ready for my sacrifice!" Amos practically chirped with joy. He stepped closer to Malachai, and the two of then stared at each other for a short second as Malachai looked up and down Amos, with his gaze coming to rest on his crotch before he violently shook his head. It was time to tie Amos up. Amos lay down on the corn stalk cross and eagerly looked up at Malachai. Malachai bit his lip and grabbed the rope. He started with his left arm. He pulled hard and tied Amos just a little too tight, causing the man to grunt. Malachai became lightheaded at the sound, feeling blood rush to his cock. Malachai yelped as he tried to jump away, desperately hoping Amos hadn't felt the bulge in his pants. "You alright, Malachai?" Amos asked, extending a hand to help him up. Malachai wasn't sure if he could keep himself composed if Amos touched him. Thankfully -- or, maybe, disappointingly -- he didn't have to find out.

"OUTLANDERS!" Shouted Isaac. "GET THEM! BRING THEM TO BE SACRIFICED!"

Malachai watched as everyone feverishly scattered. He looked down and realized Amos had lain back down on the cross.

"Are you going to put me up, Malachai?" Amos asked. The pentagram cut into his chest was starting to scab, but the smell of metal hung in the air.

"Not yet," Malachai grunted. "We're gonna go find the outlanders."

"Aw, damn." Jesus, he's so eager. Malachai shook his head in an attempt to refocus.

The two of them walked through the abandoned city. Everyone else had gone several blocks away, and the surroundings were quiet.

"What's this building?" Amos asked, pointing to a large grey warehouse.

Malachai was puzzled. "I'm not sure. We'd better check inside."

Malachai opened the door and was hit by a blast of cold air. He looked around.

"Looks like an ice rink," Malachai said. "I guess Gatlin used to have a hockey team."

"What was our mascot? Corn?" Amos joked. Despite the temperature of his surroundings, Malachai's face felt hot. The two of them walked over to the edge of the rink, where several pairs of skates were sitting.

"Let's go skating together!" Amos chirped happily, as if the city wasn't in a state of near crisis.

"Uh, alright." Malachai was stunned as the words left his mouth. He pulled on a pair of hockey skates and quickly laced them, then looked at Amos.

"Figure skates? What are you, a fag?"

"Maybe." Amos said. Malachai's eyes widened.

Amos was the first to try out the ice, curiously stepping on it. Unsurprisingly, he fell over pretty quickly. "Whoa!'

Malachai rolled his eyes. He skated over and helped Amos up. "Here, let me hold you." Malachai held Amos' hand and they skated to center of the rink. Inevitably, Amos fell to the ground and brought Malachai with him.

"It's cold on here!" Amos exclaimed. Before Malachai could think about what he was doing, he hoisted himself on top of Amos' chest.

"You're pressing me farther into the ice, Malachai!" Amos said, and he looked right into Malachai's eyes. Then they paused, looking each other. Malachai's cock was painfully hard, and Amos could definitely feel it now. There was no going back. Malachai leaned over and kissed him roughly. Amos winced and pulled away.

"He Who Walks Behind the Rows would not approve of this! This is not what we worship!" Amos liked it, though. He was starting to get hard himself.

"Let me worship your body, Amos."

Upon hearing those words, Amos collapsed, and Malachai started kissing him again, moving down his chest to where the pentagram had been carved. Malachai kissed him there, giving enough pressure to make it hurt just right. Amos moaned and pulled off Malachai's clothes.

"Malachai. Sacrifice me." Amos pleaded.

"What?" Malachai said, pausing his kisses.

"Carve me."

"You sure?"

"*Yes.*"

Malachai shifted off Amos' chest and sat on the ice, awkwardly using his skates to recarve the pentagram into his chest, reopening skin that had scabbed over. "Malachai," Amos sighed, breathing heavily. Malachai got back on top of Amos and licked the fresh blood off his wound. Malachai reveled in the irony taste in his mouth. He wanted to taste more. He felt the cold of the ice and remembered Amos wasn't wearing anything under the robe. Malachai ripped the brown fabric away from Amos' crotch and revealed his erect cock, precum dripping down the shaft. He stroked it up to the head and twisted his hand just a bit, causing Amos to whimper. Malachai smirked. "Circumcised, just what He Who Walks Behind the Rows wants." Malachai ducked down and engulfed Amos' length in his mouth and throat. He went up and down, feeling Amos' hips jerk as he worked his tongue around the tip.

"Malachai!-" Amos cried. With one final hip movement, Amos came right at the back of Malachai's throat. Amos shuddered, partially with the intensity of his orgasm and partially with the cold of the ice he was pressed against. Malachai wasn't done with him yet, though. He used his strength to roll Amos on his back, and started kissing his thighs. Amos' legs went weak from the stimulation, but Malachai hoisted him up and kissed all the way up his legs. "You're so beautiful, Amos." Malachai sighed, pushing his cock into Amos' anus.

"Keep going," Amos moaned. Malachai thrust deeper into Amos' prostate, causing him to shudder and moan.

"Amos," Malachai moaned. "I can't- I'm gonna-"

Malachai was cut short as a moan was pushed out of his mouth and he emptied himself into Amos' hole.

Malachai pulled out, breathing heavily. The ice had added an aspect of pain to intensify their pleasure, but it was too cold to lie on for much longer. Malachai grabbed Amos' robe and wrapped the two of them in it so they were no longer in direct contact with the ice.

"You feel so good, Amos." Malachai said once he wasn't breathing so heavily.

"You make *me* feel so good," Amos replied. "Please never get off me."

"We have to get off the ice at some point. We can't stay warm forever." Malachai said.

"We can sure as hell try." Amos pulled Malachai into a kiss.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

jin guangshan and lan qiren yaoi perhaps? since their shapes create a perfect balance?

Two old men perform worlds first successful 96.

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

why do they do this and can they stop it please

[sailing-ever-west]

i think my most abnormal fandom trait is i'm incapable of being attracted to characters who represent the oppressive establishment even if they're hot. like every day i find out about a new guy i didn't know we were putting in the simping pool because i just can't fathom thinking anyone who's besties with the government is sexy. even uniforms don't get me 90% of the time. i don't think "hey sailor 😏" i think "is there a problem officer?" and the Careless Whisper playing in the background ceases instantly. go change into your civvies and have a breakdown over the innocent blood on your hands shed in the name of preserving the System and don't shave for a week and i MIGHT consider.

[eggrolls-and-fandoms]

Has anyone made a scarian animatic to hot to go yet

[hahniana]

Look I love and respect the yuri nation and also think it Sucks when fandoms ignore perfectly good f/f relationships in media for mediocre yaoiz but like we cannot understate just how strong of a presence farcille has in the dungeon meshi community as of writing. Newcomers making the guys suck and fuck is such a non-issue can we chill

[splo0shh]

"Why me?" "Why not you?"

[cosmic-pheonix]

I apologise for projecting my self shipping goggles, but I saw this really heart wrenching Lumity fan comic that does a what if between Luz and Amity following the events post Thanks to Them/S3 and it got me thinking for an idea for my self ship...

First off, the comic and art belongs to @______yulka_

The comic is amazing as well as heartbreaking, I suggest you check it out and support the artist! - Link to the full comic as well: https://x.com/_____yulka/status/1859254151818920330/photo/1

It got me thinking of a head canon notion for my self-ship, particularly in relation to the canon ending to Duel Monsters and Darkside of Dimensions movie (for those who are unaware, my comfort character is Yami Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!). - which you may want to skip or scroll past if it's something you're not interested in, but for those that do, thank you for reading! - For those who have not seen the original series, I won't give you any spoilers for the manga/anime itself, but just know that these pages are where I imagine/picture what might happen after the events of the original series/canon, and my god this comic got me sobbing! (for the Yugioh fanbase ifykyk)🥲😢😭😭😭 I'm definitely gonna draw/animate this because this got me inspired and feeling things....

[shima-draws]

God I fucking lose my MIND every time Sanji gets serious and shows off with his cooking

[tjonssah]

Guys he's been trying his best please be nice

[darabeatha]

/ shipping calls are so juicy.... i can only stare and nod from afar

[fiftypiercings]

ok hear me out.. that famous twelfth night art but it's yjh x sp x 999

[hauntingblue]

ONE PIECE reading musings

Most importantly: buggy hairdo

(yes that's his real hair)

more under the cut

"I can't swim, but if this took me it would be a shame. Ah! In this situation it doesn't matter if I can swim or not!"

Luffy talking about the whirlpool taking him and him being so stoic??? Iconic, it sounds goofy coming from him but what else can he do lmao it actually makes so much sense

This panel with nami and buggy is just too good. Look at their faces lmao

"Nami: I can't fight with a group of men as big as that! I am weak!

Usopp: don't leave it up to me because I am a man! I am so scared my legs are shaking! Look!

Nami: Look at me, I am near tears!

Usopp: your eyes are completely dry!"

Usopp and Nami just having a crying off

Nami: why did you get mad earlier?

Luffy: I hate them, they do everything wrong

Nami: what are you saying? They were pirates, of course they were doing it wrong

Luffy knowing and kinda explaining how there is a good way of being a pirate but nami doesn't quite get it yet. Until she leaves the baratie and cries about it, wishing to go back with them again.... I think she gets it there. Also the first of many times nami just sits beside Luffy when he is down my beloved

Johnny just name dropping mihawk and telling zoro he MIGHT be there and zoro looks TERRIFIED? it's like he was expecting to die there and he knows he is too weak to face him and win so when this happens:

Sanji tells zoro they all are going towards their death and that they are idiots and zoro says:

"I threw my life away the moment I decided to become the best swordsman in the world, the only person that can call me dumb is me."

He is speaking like he knows he is going to die and he is scared when he hears about mihawk because he didn't expect to be so unprepared. Death is coming for him earlier that it should LIKE IT DID TO KUINA but spoiler... He gets to live because of his ambition GIVEN BY KUINA it's like a double edged sword. Kuina made you ambitious enough to die for your promise to her but that promise is going to make you live enough to see it.

This is actually so good and the fact this influences sanji to go after his dream like damn. Interlaced together since sanji was introduced

Zoro about to die for his dreams and what does sanji say? Give up your dreams if they will cost you your life. Because that's exactly the example he has since zeff stopped being a pirate to save sanji's life... But that's not the takeaway my boy.... Zeff wants you to go after your dream

Sanji saying he took everything zeff cared about away from him.... He gave it away FOR YOU!!!! And Luffy hitting him with the "death doesn't repay debts... He didn't save you for that!" And then the one two hit of shank's panel.... Damn

I don't even need to translate anything here but Luffy understood zeff since the beginning and he didn't hear one word from him. Luffy asking if he won't say goodbye and then looking at sanji like that..... There is not a bigger undesrtander than him. Just made that word up. And sanji's hard fucking head had to be told by like 15 different people to leave and still just left bc he thought he wasn't wanted anymore there. The guy who didn't understand what the story was about until his father told him. Christ don krieg is annoying but Baratie is so good. And extensive because sanji is so fucking stubborn about his debt to zeff. Incredible. Look at Luffy's happy face.

[detectivekirigirislays]

needed to srsly get this off my chest but i genuinely think that bkdk haters atp are just disregarding the immense character development both izuku and katsuki went thru and the shift in their relationship dynamic throughout the manga

platonically, romantically or whatever you see bkdk as, they are not toxic anymore. grow up. people can change, people are different, ur childhood bully prolly hasn't changed and u can't forgive them and that's fine, that's valid, but it's different w bkdk. izuku forgave him, and katsuki is actively trying to change himself and the strained relationship he and izuku used to have prior to the well-developed rivlary-slash-other halves relationship they have as of the moment.

i say this bcos i was in a similar situation. 9 years ago, i myself used to pick on this one girl. a year later, i seriously regretted what i did, apologized and did my best to change and atone for what i did, and 8 years later, we are still the best of friends. i gen can't imagine a life without her because she's one of the people i talk to the most and i love her sm.

regarding chapter 424, sure, we acknowledge that katsuki is prolly saying what he said because he thought they'd definitely still be competing for the resy of their lives esp since both of them learn to grow and develop around each other, but isn't that the beauty of it? isn't the idea of katsuki dreading at the thought and assumption of not being able to chase izuku any longer the beauty of the whole line? sure, portray it as rivalry, there is a hint of rivalry in that sense too, but in the bigger picture, it's the idea that HE HIMSELF thought that he'd be at izuku's heels for the rest of their lives, that they'd be chasing each other and helping each other to grow to their limits until the end of their lives as heroes.

platonic, romantic, call it whatever, but you can't deny they've grown so much from where they started as. they've changed, and an argument that bkdk is toxic is pointless and stupid atp.

[bluebellhairpin]

“No one’s stopping me either”

LIE AGAIN!

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I CRIED AND POUTED OVER WANTING A HAPPY ENDING FOR NERWIN?!?! HMMMMM????🤨😒

Yeah well no one want to talk about the NICE ENDINGS do they????? I write of blood tears and gore and the hoards come flocking but heaven forbid I write about helping him GRADE PAPERS IN MY DREAM HOME.

[pomegranatesarchive]

two lonely friends | oscar piastri

paring: oscar piastri x journalist!reader

summary: lando norris has two lonely best friends. he gets an idea, why not set them up?

f1wags: y/n l/n, landos bestfriend was seen entering the monaco grand prix paddock today!

view comments below!

user1: OH BROTHER

user2: free my girl y/n 🗣️

user3: the day y/n stops getting referred to as “landos bestfriend” is the day i can REST

user4: landos bestfriend?? sorry i only know y/n l/n f1 journalist??

user5: y’all do this every race 🙄 OFC SHES THERE. THATS HER JOB.

user6: she’s such a moocher

user7: she’s literally there to do HER JOB?

user8: it’s crazy how after a year of oscar being in f1, we still haven’t gotten a y/n and oscar interaction ???

user9: y/n, our comfort outfit queen

ynandlandocontent: my favorite snippet of landos and y/ns interview 🧡

view comments below!

user10: ugh them ☹️☹️

user11: literally just make out already

user12: the very best FRIENDS

user13: she’s so unprofessional 💀

user14: this wasn’t even part of the interview 😭 this was just a blooper 🙄

user15: OKAY BUT Y/N FINALLY GOT TO INTERVIEW OSCAR ???

user16: ugh i love them so much 😞

user17: lando and y/n shippers where??

user18: HERE 🙋‍♂️

oscarpastyupdates: y/n interviewing oscar today!

view comments below!

user19: oscar “but um” piastri everyone!

user20: FINALLY SOME Y/N x OSCAR CONTENT!!

user23: why do i ship…

user24: they literally only talked once 😭😭

user23: okay let me BEEE

user25: guys did you see how hard he was blushing, or am i just crazy???

user26: they literally want each other SO BAD

user27: i can feel the tension through the screen

user28: ok so do i ship lando x y/n or oscar x y/n

— one day later !

ynupdates: queen y/n was seen out last night by multiple fans! she looks beautiful!

view comments below!

user29: HELLOOO???? IS THAT NOT OSCAR

user30: ARE WE JUST GOING TO PRETEND THAT THAT IS NOT OSCAR PIASTRI???

user31: omg oscar stole landos girl

user32: landos girl???

user33: wait i like this

user34: i love how the caption doesn’t mention oscar at ALL

user35: let them cook 🔥🔥

user36: okay oscar i see you 👀

user37: i wonder how lando feels about this..

liked by charles_leclerx, yourusername, landonorris, and 673,928 others!

lando.jpg: happy birthday to my little sister! you’re ancient now 😞 here’s to many more birthdays together!

view comments below!

user38: aw ☹️

user39: okay guys i’m crying

user40: lando ALWAYS eats with his birthday captions

user41: i wonder if landos ex’s had ever felt intimidated by y/n

user42: y/n has said that she has never not gotten along with landos gfs, so there’s that!

user43: okay now kiss

user44: i still ship idc

user45: her and lando ✅ her and oscar ❌

yourusername: ugh lando you love me so much, it’s disgusting

lando.jpg: i will take away your present.

yourusername: NO IM SORRY

liked by, mclaren, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 873,928 others!

yourusername: and who’s gonna pay attention to the redheads of the world?

pic credits: some kid named oscar??

view comments below!

user46: OKAY OKAY OKAY

user47: ugh you look so good 😔

user48: OSCAR IN THE CAPTION ??? WE ARE SO BACK!!!

user49: happy birthday queen!!

user50: happy birthday 🧡🧡

user51: oscar and y/n hard launch when???

oscarpiastri: ME I’LL PAY ATTENTION TO THE REDHEADS OF THE WOLRD!!! I WILL!!

user52: okay oscar let’s calm down..

user53: oh he’s down bad

user54: who needs more confirmation then THIS??

liked by maxverstappen1, mclaren, landonorris, and 873,928 others!

oscarpiastri: happy birthday to my best friend, and the most beautiful lady in the world 🧡

view comments below!

landonorris: bestfriend?

landonorris: oh okay

landonorris: cool cool cool

landonorris: yeah that’s chill

landonorris: totally NOT going to brust out into tears rn

landonorris: hahaha

landonorris: that would be stupid

landonorris: cool cool cool

landonorris: okay okay okay

landonorris: i set you two up and you just completely forget about me huh

landonorris: wow i can’t believe this

landonorris; i’m going to die alone

landonorris; alone and sad

landonorris: FUCK YOU GUYS

user55: let’s all just move pass lando having a mental breakdown…