#i dont think im meant to have one and theres little use in dreaming

[bluebellhairpin]

“No one’s stopping me either”

LIE AGAIN!

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I CRIED AND POUTED OVER WANTING A HAPPY ENDING FOR NERWIN?!?! HMMMMM????🤨😒

Yeah well no one want to talk about the NICE ENDINGS do they????? I write of blood tears and gore and the hoards come flocking but heaven forbid I write about helping him GRADE PAPERS IN MY DREAM HOME.

[kindestofkings]

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead? [3/3]

[smau]

f1driver!reader x lando norris

authors note: book a dentist app guys this shit is sweet !

yourusername 

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername 😭 🥺 guys I, I, I just won at my home race with my best friend alongside me. those two kids dreamed of days like these. lan you next 💓

to the tifosi for your unyielding support, to scuderiaferrari for helping me achieve things like this, and to charlie the best teammate a girl could ask for <3

view all 890 comments

landonorris so proud of you luv but PLEASE let me win soon, we dont need another max situation

yourusername lando tries to be sentimental challenge: FAILED f1fan hahahaha mate please grow up and make a move !

danielricciardo incredible stuff mate! landonorris you were so cute, what happened?

landonorris ha ha ha 😑

​​taylorswift you are killing it girl !! I see you're stateside later this year maybe you could join us at the era's tour?

yourusername 😀😀😀 I need someone to confirm this is real, landooooooooo landonorris its real so please stop hyperventilating in you drivers room alex_albon do you forget you have millions of followers and a mega superstar yourself?? yourusername and what she's TAYLOR SWIFT. she writes works of art like folklore and i drive in circles. alex_albon AT A VERY INSANE SPEED learn your worth please ynfan1 you did so well with him lilymhe

maxfewtrell you know what they say couples who win together stay together !

[this comment has been deleted]

ynfan2 max you are not quick enough for me I saw that 👀👀

taylorswiftupdates

liked by ynlando4ever and others

taylorswiftupdates after a long time of online interactions the f1 ferrari driver yourusername was at tonights show!! it appears the driver was joined with fellow drivers lando norris,charles leclerc and daniel ricciardo.

view all 20 comments

ynfan1 can you imagine your favourite singer of all time making that face at you ���

ynfan2 and she got one of tonights secret song dedicated to her aswell!!

ynfan3 no way really!! what was it ynfan2 it was randomly Crazier, the song taylor sang in the hannah montana film 😂

landonorris

 liked by yourusername and others 

landonorris hope you enjoyed your birthday cause you're never receiving another birthday present again. why WHY is your favourite taylor swift song so obscure??

view all 300 comments

yourusername you are the best of the best of the best of the BEST

​​taylorswift you guys are the most adorable 🥺

charles_leclerc cause shes a country girl at heart come you know this 😂

yourusername ahem country girls shake it for me 🤠

ynlando4ever GUYS HE GOT TAYLOR TO SING HER FAVOURITE SONG THEY ARE IN LOVE!!!!

yourusername posted on their story:

eras tour READY

I lied nothing could've prepared me for this ....

replies

taylorswift so glad you could come and enjoy 💓💓 that boy of yours is such a cutie.. yourusername he's a keeper for sure! hate keeping it all so secretive but like someone amazing once sang romance is not dead if you keep it just yours 😂 ❤️

yourusername

 liked by landonorris and others

yourusername I dont do tiktok but I love the its all too much for little lando norris cause he falls asleep during my taylor swift rants 😤

view all 700 comments

landonorris EHHHHH DONT THINK YOU MEANT THAT LAST ONE RIGHT BABE?

ynfan1 BABE?? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMENTS yourusername oh fuck lan landonorris HA and you said it be me who would out us ynfan2 US? theres an us??

yncharlesshipper what happened to charlie??

ynlando4ever VICTORY

danielricciardo hahahahahah wait why does norizz look kinda ??

landonorris you can say it 😏😏

yourusername OKAY Y'ALL CAUGHT ME WE'RE NOT JUST FRIENDS! SHOOT ME LOOK AT HIM!!!

landonorris LOOK AT YOUUUUU ynfan1 k im obsessed with them even more now

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris since she messed up I can FINALLY show off how I got the girl 2 years ago 😎

happy to announce i'm accepting apologises for all those norizz comments cause LOOK at who's my girl

view all 500 comments

yourusername thats right baby your girl !!

maxfewtrell FINALLY

danielricciardo agreed, and you're never hearing anything from me norizz alex_albon still in shock carlossainz55 can relax now, yn is scary

charles_leclerc we got there eventually! looking forward to not being shipped with you now yourusername 😂😂

yourusername I don't know what you're talking about I'm a catch!

yourusername

 liked by mclaren and others

yourusername car failures are a teams worse nightmare and unfortunately my hard truth for today's race in Singapore 💔 being ruled out during the formation lap is something I hope to never experience again, so sorry for disappointing everyone and the team!

ON ANOTHER NOTE its time for a hardlaunch cause LOOK WHO JUST GOT HIS FIRST WIN! congrats bro 😎 👍❤️‍🔥 💖

view all 290 comments 

scuderiaferrari could never disappointment, we win as a team and lose as a team!

yourusername you guys xx ynfan1 the teams support never fails to make me emosh, all you that deserve!!

f1fan still a slay in my eyes!

landonorris the use of bro here is conflicting to all the pride driven kisses i've been getting 🤔🤔

f1fanupdates

liked by f1fan1 and others

f1fanupdates gasly is once again providing all the drama for the viewers! after another dnf the alphatauri driver made a jab at mclaren's first driver, lando norris...

view all 90 comments

f1fan1 why have one feud with a driver when you can have 2!! right pierre?

ynfan2 man is just realising he can't blame yn anymore so he's picking on lando

ynfan3 do you think its all related? like continuous beef that all links back to her?

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake

japan its been real!

view all 473 comments

pierregasly imagine being this cocky all while being overshadowed by your rookie teammate

landonorris imagine ruining your own career because a girl told you she didn't want to go out with you pierregasly if shes going out with the likes of you, think I dodged a bullet landonorris do you or do you not have a girlfriend rn? yourusername enough of this. pierre you are a broken record stfu and focus on your driving

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

ynfan2 men being men ugh

yourusername tay tay 🥺🥺 in your caption 🥺 love you

landonorris and the edit! i want all the brownie points baby 😏

danielricciardo MY EX-MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND SHE'S LIKE

yourusername "OH MY GOD," BUT I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE IT charles_leclerc AND TO THE FELLA OVER THERE WITH THE HELLA GOOD HAIR maxverstappen1 WON'T YOU COME ON OVER, BABY? WE CAN SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE landonorris wow wdc winner with the taylor swift lyrics in my comments??

ynfan1 OH MY GOD its all clicking, all this mess cause of a bruised ego...

yourusername posted on their story:

my man my man my man 💓

landonorris where gasly wishes he could be 👀 landonorris love love love you

AHH I hope this was worth the wait guys!! the beef is so squashed in but I was consumed be the full by then lol

-finished-

[3/3]

taglist:

@vellicoranorca @toasttt11 @dzastinocha @dzastinocha @landosgirlxoxo @2bormaybenot @jpg3 @celestialams @dreamsarebig @dreamercrowd @dracosswhore @kissesandmartinis @inejismywife

weirdly couldnt tag everyone sorry !!

[ganondoodle]

(elden ring DLC spoilers)

i fucking love Radahn so much, what i wouldnt give to meet ACTUAL him, he just gets toyed with and exploited so cruelly, you never really get to know him or what he wants im hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so normal :)

like i know theres little to go by with typical fromsoft lore and stuff but agreeing to marry miquelly feels so ... not radahn like, why would he have fought malenia and then even after gettign the rot refuse to die if he wanted that .... also didnt he believe in the golden order?? miquella wanted to replace it basically????-

even his 'new' design feels like some idealized version of him that miquella dreamed up, theres significant differences in whats left of radahn in the main game and i feel like even that is an important detail (the braids ... i braids are IMPORTANT IM TELLING YOU-) like it .... to some degrees looks ..almost cheap, like an action figure (what the hell are all those sword things on his belt?? he has his two giant blades that dont go in that??? he would never use a different one?? whats it doing here??) (also the fact that leonard is missing .... like sure we like to over emphasize some character quirks but i also feel like thats and important thing- leonard clearly meant alot to him and he had him still with him when he was fighting malenia and stayed together even after rotting away)

what really REALLY makes me so very "normal" about everything is that radahn remains voiceless and has no say in anythign the entire time we meet him, hes either a zombie or a literally flesh puppet constructed by his own half brother (out of another family member, which clearly shows bc hes using blood magic and got horns growing)- aside from very few quotes on some items we never get to know him, we dont know what he wanted, he gets dragged into this and is then like some animated statue, theres no emotion in his face, even less sound he makes when fighting, even, in my opinion, his animation in the final DLC fight seem OFF to me- it looks stiff how hes moving whenever hes not actively attacking

(also miquella and what he wants is constantly talked about, but while its all about radahn in a way . we never hear anything from radahns side, its never even questioned. as far as i know, like !!!!! argh!!!)

(edit: also also the fact that in this puppet version of the design changes arent just the armor, his skin is different color too, even in the trailer when he fights malenia- BEFORE the rot- he seemed sort of ashy- greyish dark, even if hard to tell with color tint- his hair much longer in og now much shorter and in braids, his armor less practical and more show offy, he doesnt have a bow, even his swords look different, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY his weird anatomy he seems to have in og that i think is from renalla is gone too- AND yes i know his body is constructed from moghs there- which makes this all so much worse bc almost all that was him is stripped away and twisted into what miquella wants from him, second phase its almost all light attacks tooo- ok im stopping this now)

i know it might seem like im just making excuses bc i cant handle my favorite character agreeing to marry his own half brother- BUT I DONT CARE- HE DIDNT WANT IT- WE DONT KNOW WHAT HE WANTS- WE NEVER GET TO ASK HIM- HE NEVER GETS TO SPEAK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDJKBHKFJBGSKBVGFHDKBFKABKBA

[stevie-petey]

could we get a blurb of one day steve went and visited her at work, just some goood friendly and fun banter and friendship and maybe accidental flirting while he helps her out and hangs around? 🫶

hi anon that i have zero clue who u are you !! and yes, i CAN give u a cute lil happy blurb

enjoy <3

“lets play two truths and one lie.”

you roll your eyes at steve. “didnt i tell you to quietly stack some books while i arrange the shelves?”

“but im bored,” he groans, following you as you straighten some books and start setting up a new display area.

“youre the one who insists on coming here every day. it’s summer now. go get some sun.”

steve blinks. “but youre in here.”

“and?”

“itd be boring without you, too.” he says, his face open and sweet as always. his candor is still something you arent used to. theres never anything hidden within his words.

you poke steves chest. “you need to figure out what you want, buddy.”

he grabs the hand thats poked him and tugs you close. “i wanna play two truths and one lie.”

he bats his eyes at you and your stomach flutters. youre insanely close to him now, hes still holding your hand, and he now rests his other hand on the small of your back in a way that makes you shiver in the june humidity. this close, you can see all the freckles that dot across his pretty face.

“i…” your words catch in your throat, which steve smirks at. sometimes you think he does these things purposefully, that he likes seeing you blush.

you pull away, not wanting to think too deeply into things. “fine. you go first, though.”

“yes!” steve does a happy dance, fist bumps the air, and then seems to remember that youre still there. he regains his composure and clears his throat. “okay. my first kiss was interrupted by her dad walking in and seeing us, im scared of the dark, and i was obsessed with frogs when i was younger.”

youre surprised by steves choices. theyre all so wildly random and bizarre. you think for a moment, stumped. he definitely seems like the type to be caught by a father, and what little kid doesnt love frogs?

“you’re not scared of the dark?” you finally guess.

steve cheers. “no! i win! im totally afraid of the dark, im human.”

“okay, so…” you nudge him. “what was the lie?”

“oh yeah. i was actually obsessed with toads, not frogs.”

you hit his chest. “thats cheating!”

“nuh uh. theyre different species. i won, just admit it, y/n. im like, totally better then you.”

“fine, wanna play it that way?” an evil grin spreads across your face. “my turn. ive never been kissed, my dream boyfriend is spider-man, and i have a cat named mews.”

steve answers immediately, confident in his answer. “easy. you dont have a cat named mews.”

“nope!” you go back to arranging a display, secretly elated you won. you turn back to steve and wink. “my dream boyfriend is peter parker.”

“but theyre the same person—hold on,” steve seems to realize something. “does that mean no ones ever kissed you?”

“never.” you turn now and notice that your friend is seemingly frozen in place, still processing the information youve just told him. he seems genuinely surprised.

steve is speechless. “but… i just thought—you know… youre just so you and—”

“and whats that supposed to mean?” you make a face.

“nothing bad, obviously! i just mean. well, c’mon. you gotta know what i mean—” steve is stumbling over his words with a panicked look on his face and you feel bad. you know what he meant, but you like watching him squirm.

you start to laugh. “relax, steve. im just messing with you.”

though in a way, it does kind of hurt. no ones ever shown an interest in you, but at least steve seems surprised by it. if the king of hearts was surprised by your pathetic love life, then maybe there was hope for you yet.

he exhales and rests a hand over his chest. “fuck, you gotta stop doing that.”

you smile but dont say anything else. the display still needs to be set, so you let the conversation die down and focus on it once more. youre not necessarily insecure about not having a first kiss or even a boyfriend, but it’s not your favorite topic, either.

then, after a few minutes of silence, just as you think steve has moved on, he of course has to speak.

“what if i kissed my fingers and then pressed them against your mouth—”

“steve?”

“yeah?”

“shut up and stack some books.”

“yes ma’am.”

[foreverandmoretarot]

how to know if you have a soulmate and get signs from them?

hi! thank you sm for asking! i want to start off by saying everyone has a soulmate. you may have one, or multiple, but at least one. it could be romantic or platonic too.

i'd say most people probably won't meet their soulmate in this life. it takes a lot of personal growth to actually reach them, and most wont want to experience the necessary struggles.

i have an oddly strong connection to my soulmate, so it makes communicating and reaching him a lotttt easier, but even then i'd still say this journey is one hell of a ride.

another thing to take in account is if your soulmate wants to/is in the right space to meet you. they may still be working on themselves, feel fulfilled with the people in their life, have different beliefs than you, live far away, etc. but i dont say all this to discourage you!! trying wont hurt, and even connecting with them spiritually rather than their human self on earth can be just as fulfilling!

so onto your second question, how do you get signs from them? my main "sign" is telepathy, which is a weird concept for me to explain skdkd. ive never really explained my personal methods to anyone, so sorry if this comes off odd. for me, i think of it as giving him access to my current thoughts rather than sending a message all the way over to him.

im sure your next question is, how do you send a telepathic message?

the most common way is to visualize your message through images, and think of the person/entity and imagine it traveling towards them. that method has worked 50/50 for me

what i do instead isnt really a method, rather something i realized i could do and brought results. i sort of focus on something and say a word/phrase inside my head. you know that little voice you use to think that isnt actually saying something but you can hear it? some refer to it as your inner monologue. its like that, except theres also this "white noise" type sound/feeling i add. it helps when theres no loud sounds around me, i close my eyes, and repeat the phrase a few times to make sure it sent clearly. sometimes i also visualize the words to help

another method is dreams! meeting up with your soulmate in a lucid dream, using dream meanings to get messages, etc. i like this one because its really relaxed and you may find dreams easier to interpret than other spiritual methods

theres also tarot cards and pendulums. i'd say these ones are a little tricky because unless you do it yourself- you may not fully trust the person to be interpreting it properly or having your best interest at hand. i'd say take whatever resonates!

angel numbers

letters and objects. you can write a letter to your soulmate and at the end, ask for them to put an object, animal, word, etc in your life to show theyve read it. some burn the letter, bury it in soil, or place it in nature. for example, if you had the word stork, you'll see one randomly where you wouldnt expect. or if you had the word dictionary, someone would bring it up in a conversation. the sign while definitely stick out

songs. not as often now, but when i'd listen to music, a specific line of a song just really stuck out to me. it was like when you get a shiver down your spine except with my mind? i think those could have been things he wanted to say to me. but id recommend listening to random playlists and you might find songs with lyrics that resonate a lot

these are just some things ive used that worked for me, you may discover your own methods in your journey! i think theres beauty in letting the universe show you things in a unique way meant specially for you. music is an important part in both his and my life, which is why i think the song lyrics is a way for us to communicate. even though ive never heard of someone having that sign, it works for me. so overall dont stress it, dont force yourself, and have fun loving your other half :)

[i-go-by-whatever]

uh this is gonna be me processing how i feel one year after the news of technoblades passing. skip this one.

it was 10am on july 1st when i learned of the news. the first thing i saw when i woke up was dreams tweet and i just saw 'fuck cancer' and my heart fucking dropped. in that split second i was thinking 'oh no, did it get bad again?' i didnt think that he died. i had hope. when i watched the video and listened to his last words, my heart was shattered and i simply did not know what to do but cry for hours.

i had just got out of a week long 'down' state, when i had felt the worst ive been in years and i had one good day before i heard the news. i fell back into the sadness and it sucked. it sucked so bad.

every few hours id go on twitter and see more people react to it throughout the day. i watched as his family, friends, and community mourned him. every passing tweet made me cry. technoblade meant so much to a lot of people. he meant a lot to me too. and his death hit me so hard i was blindsided by the pain.

its an insane feeling to grieve over someone i dont know or never met, whom i only started watching for less than two years. it makes me feel insane to cry about it when none of my friends knew him. it feels insane how there is no tangible way techno had changed my life because i built no friendships through him, or made art of him, or was even an active member of the community. all i got was/is my love for him and his friends that he introduced me to. idk how to explain it, but it felt like i dont deserve to grieve him.

but obviously his community has been so loving through and through. we held each other, even though i personally spoke to nobody about it (given the fact that i dont talk to anyone or tweet on twitter and nobody irl knew him). theres still a weird feeling of loneliness and isolation despite the collective grief.

the toughest thing to watch was his father grieving him together with us. i had lost my father when i was a child and i watched his mother mourn him. it never made sense then that a parent should watch their kid die. it still doesnt make sense now. in some egotistical, nonsensical way, it felt like the universe did a trade with me.

i have never had any direct communication with technodad, but i think he had helped a lot in my processing my pre-existing grief over my father, together with our grief over technoblade, and everyone else i have lost in between. i will forever appreciate him for that.

sidenote: the dream technodad had about being at a gathering and he couldn't find technoblade. but turns out he was in the other room playing a game. and in the dream he was like 'oh thank god he's not dead' but when he woke up reality hit him like a truck?

yeah well, that was how it felt when i found out my dad passed away all those years ago. i woke up to a house filled with relatives and my mother pulled me aside to tell me my dad had passed away. he was the only person who wasnt there.

the grief i have for technoblade is so deeply intertwined with my grief for my father and i dont think i can ever succinctly explain it to anyone in my life. because they happened 16 years apart and had no connection whatsoever except for me whos in the middle. slowly processing my own grief.

(midwriting this i suddenly realized that after my birthday this year i will be older than technoblade could ever be and im sobbing silently in my room so my roommates cant hear me)

it sucks being someone who doesnt cry in front of people and struggle to ask for help or even a hug. the loneliness is palpable. thats why i wrote everything here.

i love you, technoblade.

i love you, dad.

im sorry to lump the two of you together like this. im a little insane, i know. i hope its okay.

[fictionfixations]

part 2 of the new book 7 update cause i have more mystium

spoilers of course part 1

part 3 the final part

the way i just got the widest smile at this

anyway i forgot to mention it last post but knowing that they were just kinda left alone while everyone went to nrc makes me really sad. like first silver and sebek without lilia and malleus (they have sebbies family tho)

and then silver left next year. sebek all alone. he has his family still but like. man. gone for a year.

and in that time he was alone he got his signature spell and worked hard on it not wanting any of them to know about it until he got better at it, but it also meant that they never knew he could do that because they werent there and im just sad :( and it sometimes makes me wish at least silver and sebek were the same age so they couldve gone the same year and sebek didnt have to be without their company for so long

fshuidf i clicked past it like a dumbass but heres anther instance of baur saying he'll swallow them whole similar to sebek's battle start line

going to cry now because what the fuck 100k hp i hate myself my strongest units are really low hp BEAT THEIR ASS GEN LILIA oh my god they do so much damage im going to cry good news is i dont think theres another battle after this so this is.. fine.

and this time i didnt head straight to it and miss all the buffs from like the camps and stuff 💀 also i actually have more built cards this time before this i only had like one other casualty, that being the dorm sebek they give you (i only managed to have him duo off of gen lilia once and then i never got the spells to line up after that and then he died). so now its my whole team + dorm sebek thanking myself for leveling the spells of the other riddles i got that i did for no reason other then cause i like riddle (no intention of actually using them considering i already have a perfectly fine dorm riddle) LMFAO also thank battlemap for letting you bring a shit ton of characters. i havent used epel in forever 😭(rook is also VERY underleveled lmfao)

also im a dumbass i kept using the healing spells first turn.. ..but it didnt even do anything because i need to take damage first so its like. why did i do that. did i think id get my health lost in a previous battle back..?????

😱

aww the sparkles bruhs accomplished his lifes dream and i am here for it 👍

NOO GUYS LISTEN TO HIMM

he gave us his cloak 🥺

know i said id set my homescreen to sebek but... this feels more fitting

i wish that you didnt have to complete a book to get the backgrounds. i want my book 7 backgrounds with the music :(((

like i want. the the the. yknow when silver is confident in lilias love for him again and in the background you hear like i think once upon a dream? or i saw a prince(?? idk the other name for it its just what ive heard) and i. i want that. it also played when we see the dawn knight in the the the area where you travel across dreams where he smiled and then faded away

i dont have lilias room so silver will have to do

i need two more mystium aghhhhh the wait is insufferable but since im almost finished im gonna wait before posting

i watched someone go through the story on jp and i just remember stressing out so bad because holy fuck what happened what do we do. like i was feeling that stress of AHH GOTTA GET EGG AWAY and worry over maleanor but now i know what happened so im a little less stressed. im still stressed in the sense of FUCK YOU FUCK YOU BATTLES but like.. im not hanging in suspense anymore

anyway i think im gonna end it after battlemap is finished and do another post for the chapters outside of battlemap. especially because i dont want to hit the image limit. i cant remember if theres another battlemap but i dont THINK there should be.

anyway questioning why im making another post when i ended first post pretty early and couldve edited it? because people whove already seen it wont see it again 💀 and i mean if they wanna see book 7 stuff when the update only happened like 3 hours ago then ok ill show you what i can and make it visible enough for you to notice in the event youve already seen the other post

anyway while im waiting for one more mystium im warning you that if you cried the last update, to prepare to cry again. book 7 is just really sad man.

okay im gonna stop it here on THIS post (i will still be playing) and keep an eye out for part 3 with the rest (assuming theres not more story then i can make images of)

[ghost-of-the-machine]

ughh

i keep having like? i keep having dreams where my mom protects me and its kind of upsetting me

why is it so frequent? i keep having them where she keeps me safe or says she'll always be here for me, and if its not my mom directly its some motherly figure protecting me. im like GROWN TOO im not a little kid but i always feel like i am, i feel so powerless, helpless, afraid.. and i hide behind my mom because she will keep me safe, right?

this time it was my sister, she was being so fucking mean to me like how she used to, to the point where like. i had to go in this building with her and her bf and she told me to get out of the car real hostile like and i was clearly scared and about to cry and my mom was like hey. we'll go together, okay? and she held my hand and the building? was like this dark like. SOME KIND OF LIQUOR/SMOKE SHOP, it stressed me out and then when my mom came with me it turned into a pretty candy store and she let my sibling get whatever they want but . im too conscious of our money so i didnt get anything before the dream switched

then i was at like? the store owner had these policies ensuring people didnt ABUSE THEIR KIDS in her store, saying like hey. if yr kid tries and steals something, ill catch them, no need to yell at them or get physical. if theyre loud, its alright, theres plenty of other kids here so its probably gonna be loud regardless like. idk it made me really sad cuz that meant she had dealt with it enough to make explicit rules about children being hurt or scared in her building. and immediately my brain knew she was someone i could trust

my family like left but . i got in the car with my moms husband instead cuz i thought they were gonna get in but he drove off too fast and then he was being really reckless and driving into oncoming traffic and shit and it was really scary cuz hes like. ive been in the car with him pulled over by the cops cuz he was speeding before he drives so horribly i feel so unsafe when he drives, and yknow who it makes me think of? my mom, because even if my mom has bad road rage, shes safer than him

the car crashed obviously and i was hurt and scared and i just wanted my mom and i managed to make it back to the candy store cuz it had like a proper daycare section now i guess?? and i dont know. my moms bf was like unhinged and i. ive had too many dreams where im afraid of him, afraid of what he'll do. i made it back to the place and i guess the kids there were also scared cuz they knew he was gonna come back and the lady was like reassuring us and she said that no ones getting hurt here, and that shes gonna do everything in her power to keep us safe

idk it made me feel good that like. even though i was obviously an adult she was still there to comfort me and assure me cuz i was fucking scared, just like the kids were i was terrified and she didnt exclude me from that safety

i think i have mommy issues guys 💀💀 i dont know why i keep having these dreams. maybe being neglected as a child makes you grow up too fast and then you suddenly cant be grown up enough when yr actually an adult. when they fight, i feel so small.. i feel like a child again, listening to violence thru the walls. i wish i could be brave, i wish i could be a MAN, be an adult, but im too scared..

why does my head crave that motherly comfort? i dont understand.. my mom isnt a bad mom. shes an okay mom, not a great PERSON, but an okay mom. shes done a lot for me and i appreciate it, but.. be there for me is not one of them. maybe im sad, maybe i wish i could have a mother that i can say with 100% certainty i love. i wish i could have a mom who was there for me and cared more about me and i wish she was .

she used to be really mean to me, after she kicked her bf out several years ago (got us nothing in the end cuz hes fucking back so whatever) . i think she missed fighting and needed someone to focus her anger on. i remember one time she came into my room and screamed at me for doing something wrong? something i DIDNT do, and then when she found out it was my sibling who did it, i guess she tired herself out cuz she just said whatever

it got so bad that like. everyone knew she was treating me unfairly. my siblings thought she was, i thought she was, and SHE thought she was. that time we were sitting in the car with my sister and she was like yeah im too mean to you, you dont deserve that. and i was just. quiet. what do i say? do i say 'yes, you are too mean to me'? probably not, my sister is my moms number one yes man, if i said anything implying my mom was less than an angel she'd direct her anger towards me. AGAIN. but i cant say no cuz that would be a lie. i just said it was fine and she said it wasnt and that was the end of it. i dont even remember if things changed

or like that time? she called me a disappointment for failing in highschool and when i jsut left, and went and sat in my siblings room, SOMETIMES she feels remorse and she comes and apologizes cuz i think deep down she does love me. but this time? no, she just came in and KEPT going, saying it was my fault and that she doesnt have shit to apologize for. okay!!!! that was when the elections were happening too , thats when she started becoming a worse person, more right wing yknow. its sad watching someone i used to admire dissolve into just.. garbage, yknow? ugh

i almost had a panic attack at my grandparents house one time cuz she raised her voice like. not AT me but i was still there and then my sister started harassing me when i got all quiet cuz i was SCARED and my brother and grandma tried to stick up for me but i just went to the back room and i couldnt fucking breathe. and then later my sister had the audacity? when we went to the park later she was like hey. btw. its not MY fault you were being weird like. whatever, fuck off

i wish i loved my family!!!!! i wish i had a family i was capable of loving. i wish i had a family who didnt hurt me, i wish i had a family that didnt make me feel like.. like im not always safe in my home. ive never ever felt safe, from my earliest memories to my most recent, its just.. carnage. dreadful

[wednesdaytonight]

talking about my feelings helped a lot, i suppose thats a Duh obviously im stuck really hard into i guess flashbacks? i dont really think of it like that, like parts of the past that feels more real then the present i think of it more like bits of my soul is still there, and its not just like Violent moments its like, a moment on a street block that i dont have the connecting memories to, playing risk with a family friend who ill never see again and i was inside like age 8 playing this board game with an adult instead of running around with the other kids outside probs cause of my allergies and i cant go back to either of those things and like thinking about a cafe i spent a lot of time at as a child thats not there anymore or like entering a library thats not there anymore just stuff like that vivid and present its just as exhausting as the times im stuck in violence  maybe its more like obsessive ruminating, like im aware im not there but it makes it hard to think about anything else and i guess it comes with fear that im close to turning something over that i dont want to remember anyway, but omg sharing just a little bit of my feelings i then had a series of really like detailed dreams that were like family reunion road trip where it was stressful but i was being valued then it was like a bunch of houses blurring together and one was like there were marks on the floor where two people died in rooms next to each other their bodies left marks on the wood, there was an identical house next door with a broken window, a voice was like you picked out the perfect house for us wednesday, and my next door neighbors had this massive massive house, and we were on this raised land on a hill in this beautiful area that ive dreamt of before but i dont think its based on anything real real? the neighbors were like a fusion of teachers and cliche tiger mom wife kinda stuff ive had and she was like my neighbor who was also re-parenting me id come over and she’d be weird about gender but clearly saw me as an equal in being a stay at home spouse, then i dreamt of a house i use to live at, it wrapped back around to getting ready for the familiar reunion, i dream of this house a lot, this one specific bathroom in my dreams theres always more to it, like ill open the door and be like oh why did we never use the bathtub in here why did we never see there was a secret basement door or hole into the ground (this time it was just a round hole in the floor) the bathroom was just a sink and a toilet and washer and dryer it got used all the time maybe even more than the upstairs one so idk where this is coming from, the other dream came back before i woke up and it was like the neighbors kids (which were closer to my age than the mom to me but they were like The Kids to me) were helping me set up like a house exorcism cause we couldnt sell, i loved the area and i loved living next to them, i wouldnt be able to live with myself selling a cursed house to someone else and even though i was like ?trapped? there with my ?partner? there was stuff about the life i was unwilling to give up even if it meant my ?freedom?  as we were doing it we were talking about offering a fee and doing this elsewhere like traveling priests when i woke up

and i felt better! like by a lot i went to have breakfast and get all stretches out, tomorrow i start work work again

[rynzii-419]

I’ve been reading about this study on psychology and it talked about this thing, “positive sentiment override” vs “negative sentiment override” and so, of course, I connected it to apologist discourse.

Bit of warning; this is going to talk about Dream in a negative light, and I’m going to reference Tommy and Wilbur in a positive light. The point of this is to show why I think common interpretations of Wilbur and Dream are exaggerated, and I try to talk about Wil critically too even though normally thats a bit harder for me, which is actually related to the psychology thing I’m gonna talk about here. So yeah, please read this if apologist discourse something you’re interested in! I try to make this readable and unbiased as best as I can. (I say this but the point here is to talk about misconceptions and exaggerations about Wilbur and Dream, meaning I say why I think Dream isn’t as deserving of forgiveness as the fandom treats him and Wilbur isn’t as deserving of the hate he gets, but I really feel like this one isn’t biased.)

Alright, first I want to explain positive sentiment override (im gonna abbreviate it to “pso”). Pso is something I see used on Dream a lot, where people will see someone do something negative and think “oh well they probably had a reasonable explanation for that”.

Negative sentiment override (nso) is what I see used on Wilbur (like all the time). This is where someone will do something even positive and people will look on with skepticism and think “that was manipulation.” (ex. The reaction to every conversation he’s had with ranboo)

While its great to look for reasoning behind a character’s actions, and great to have skepticism about a darker character’s motives, its also taken too far in these cases very often.

Okay here’s where I get a little critical of Dream. The reason that I believe he isn’t very deserving of this “benefit of the doubt” he gets so often is because:

He isn’t apologetic for any of his actions. Now, we could go back and forth all day on whether his treatment of L’manburg was right or not, but we all know that his behavior with Tommy in exile was wrong. The thing is that Dream doesn’t agree. He even says in the prison when Tommy got trapped in there, “this is gonna be so much fun, just like exile” (paraphrasing, im sorry </3). When a character shows no remorse for actions that are inherently evil (like theres no getting around that Dream in exile was evil), it makes me feel as if they cant be treated as if they’re redeemable. Of course, he could be redeemed, but i can’t see that happening to him until he apologizes to Tommy and Tubbo and distances himself from them entirely. The problem is that i don’t see that happening at this point.

He showed signs of being a bad person/friend before exile. Again, I’m actually not even going to address L’manburg because that’s something that people disagree on often, so here I’d rather talk about Sapnap and Dream’s relationship and why I believe that was very unhealthy. After Dream’s speech about Spirit and how he doesn’t care about anything other than the discs (and its implied that he really meant tommy but thats besides the point), Sapnap instantly took that as meaning Dream didn’t care about him. Now some people hear that as “Sapnap is such a bad friend, he immediately assumed the worst out of Dream, how could be be so rude?” What i see that as is a sign that Dream probably wasn’t a very good friend himself. I also had a situation similar to this, where i had a friend who was really trashy (but i didn’t realize at the time) and I was always scared that they would ditch me. A lot like Sapnap, I would ask “do you think they’ll leave me?” then go back and say “haha, no, thats irrational, isnt it”. The problem is, those kinds of fears often aren’t based off of nothing. They come from an understanding of how that friend treats others, and the fear that they feel the same way for you. I think Sapnap saw how Dream treated others and didnt care much for his relationships and that made him scared for his own friendship, and rightfully so, as we saw later.

Dream was unapologetically manipulative and abusive continuously. A few spur of the moment actions would be an unhealthy mental state, but continued and premeditated abuse without remorse is a… really bad sign.

WILBUR TIME!! At long last aha. Now, this is where i speak POSITIVELY about Wilbur. I’ll throw in some crit dont worry <3. So here’s why I dont believe that Wilbur is deserving of the amount of hate he gets:

Wilbur has shown at least an attempt to apologize to people, which goes against his usual mentality. He’s a very prideful character, and he hasn’t apologized much in the past i believe. While he’s nowhere near better mentally than he was on Nov 16, he’s shown that he’s trying.

While he has manipulated people since his revival, it’s all been spur of the moment reactions. No continuous decisions, like I mentioned with Dream. Its likely that they come from his delusions/paranoia (which he still suffers from, isolation does not heal mental illness).

I believe that the times that we see him being most genuine are when he’s with Ranboo, since Ranboo is a nonjudgmental person who Wilbur has related to and feels is a blank slate for him to talk to. We’ve heard him open up about his motives a lot, such as feeling as if everyone is scared of him. That’s further pushed by the fact that cc!Wilbur confirmed that when he said that Quackity is the only one that makes him feel human since he’s not scared to question Wilbur.

I think this is the big one: Wilbur recognizes that he was in the wrong in Pogtopia. He sees that he hurt Tommy and regrets it, which I think is really important to remember. Simple as that. He said he sees Tommy look at him with the same eyes as he did in Pogtopia, which makes me believe he would want to be better. I would talk about what i believe Wilbur’s motives throughout Pogtopia was here but I think that’s a post for another dayz

Alright uh thats it i think, sorry this was so long i was just havin a lotta thoughts about it, ya know? This is open to discussion i think, i just really enjoyed writing this out :D

[crows-with-kiwis]

twitter isnt interactive enough so im talking about chainsaw man here

spoilers for the anime

i have read the manga though i will not mention anything from that, just the anime

i was told the animation was amazing but i didnt expect to feel like i was in it myself. everything from the art, lighting, plus sound quality made it one of the most beautiful animes ive watched. and then i get hit with the opening? it was so creative and the song was so good.

then i HAVE to point out the voice acting. the voices fit all the characters so well; i know nothing about the va's but they sound like they were meant to be the characters they were assigned. i watched the sub since i dont know if theres a dub yet, but when(or when i find it) the dub is out, i already know itll be just as amazing.

shout out to everyone who worked on it and i cant wait for more

ok next: story n shit

the first episode was a rollercoaster, i wasn't expecting them to put so much into one episode but im so glad they did. seeing pochita and denji's bonding was adorable, the designs were done amazingly, and honestly i couldn't get enough of it. his dumbness mixed with ignorance of true issues, including his strength and perseverance for small things make his character so complicated in the most interesting way. its hard to find main characters like that and when you do find it its true gold.

with most, they ignore the mc's issues because well, their the main character. but chainsaw man accepts his issues and let's you dislike him. with other animes, they force you to enjoy the mc, meanwhile with this you can dislike the main character.

when makima showed up i was stunned. she was terrifyingly beautiful. her beauty was embraced and weaponized, like it should be. she made denji head over heals by simply existing and she knows it, so she uses it against him.

you know she's bad and trouble, but she's addictive and you love her.

the rest of the episodes were just as good, same with the characters. when power was introduced i instantly fell in love with her, she's so chaotic and annoying with the weirdest personality. she also knows her own beauty and welcomes it. i love chaotic characters who know their strength.

i also cant get over denji realizing he was dreaming of a better life instead of enjoying the life he had at the moment, he didn't know he was happy until pochita was gone. pochita was his only friend and when he lost that he realized so much. then him going on a rampage against the devils and using all his energy could be seen as many things.

back to denji, his pervertedness really makes little room for you to like him. and i enjoy that about him, he doesn't realize its a problem himself meanwhile everyone else does. his desire for touching a woman is gross but you laugh at it.

yes i may be overanalyzing this but i cant help it, the anime is so good. i strongly, STRONGLY recommend it to everyone seeing this if you haven't seen it already. the music is amazing, the animation, characters, everything.

one more thing! the outro is just as good! it changes every episodes and its so dynamic every time. chainsaw man is probably the first anime ive watched and ive been able to sit through both the intro and outro.

ok i think thats enough from me, if i talk about it more ill probably explode

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. ∞

a/n: this made me tear up a bit ngl bc haikyuu always hitting us with ‘theres no next year for us’ typa bull like BLS TAKE PITY ON MY SOUL AND STOP TIME AND KEEP MY BOYS TOGETHER :(((((((

it has an infinity symbol bc this is in the future so there isnt really an episode number 

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

the third years coming back to seijoh the following year for a surprise visit, and watching over practice cuz they were in town for break. being impressed on how kyo has calmed down (a bit), kunimi actually giving a sh-, yknow the deal. just the growth of their kouhai makes them 🥺🥺 but THEN- Y O U walk in with the team’s bottles n the small gasp that comes out of your mouth when you see them. they GAWK cuz you’re maturing SO well (stfu oikawa- my eyes up are here) and just 🥺🤲

SO LIKE UNLESS YOURE NEW TO MY BLOG YOU KNOW THIS FINNA BE A SAD ONE BC SEIJOH THIRD YEARS ARE MY FAVORITE BOIS AND THEM GRADUATING MAKES ME :(

oh god here comes the tears

so

it was something you knew was coming since yanno, third years and all that

but you were so sure you had more time left before it happened

didnt you just join the team and met them like yesterday?

nope love you met nearly a year ago

and they made quite an impact on you in the short term you were together

so during the day of graduation

it wasnt really a school day since it was mostly for third years and the whole ceremony but kouhais could come so they could send off their senpais

you already called each third year the night before, nearly 2 hours per boy, to talk to them and cry with them so you didnt have to cry during the day

but ofc

you were sobbing already when you saw your captain walk up and get his tube with the diploma inside

they tried to remain strong as they sat in their seats but a single glance at you and the team at the stands above, the tears were already either forming or full out slipping

i know yall finna beat me up for this but im not really familiar with the other third years in the team bc theyre not really shown in the anime or manga that much so i dont have a good grip on their character so can we pls pretend theyre not in here?? omg pls dont kill me though

the ceremony felt like a long time for the seniors but when it was finally over, they ran out of that building and yall did too and you bolted yourself into the arms of your captain

oikawa held you tightly against him and he didnt care about being seen by his fangirls, who were waiting outside for him, or the others who wanted to have you to them too

‘i love you, y/n-chan’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘mhm. i love you too, oikawa-san. i love all my boys’

YALL MY HEART IS BREAKING BC OIKAWA ACTUALLY MEANT IT THIS TIME AND YOURE STILL OVER HERE THINKING THAT HES JUST SAYING IT AS A FRIEND LIKE IM-

iwa ripped you away from him and your face was buried into his chest

but it didnt last long since the others got a little impatient and just joined the hug turning it into a group hug

‘i dont want you to leave!’

kindaichi sobbed and kunimi sniffled, holding on tighter to the backs of his senpais

even kyo was sad but hes a tuff boy so he easily hid that behind his usual frown and glare

after seeing their parents and reassuring them they would be home soon, you started your trek towards your usual hang out spot

the second and first years were walking ahead of you while the third years fell back in step with you in between them

mattsuhana flanked your left while iwaoi were at your right

the tears were now gone but sniffles still filled the area and everyone was still down in their spirits

you held tightly to the warm big hands of iwaizumi and the soft touch of mattsun’s hand as if you were clutching your life-line

but you knew no matter how tightly you held on to them, they would still go and eventually leave you behind

the ramen shop was filled with another round of tears as everyone realized that this would be the last time seijoh og would have ramen here

‘WE DONT WANT YOU TO GOOO~~~~!!!!!!’

kindaichi sobbed while kunimi aggressively shoved noodles in his mouth to hide his hiccups

you refused to eat because you were so sad that you were scared you might end up throwing it all up later so you settled on relishing your time with the boys

oikawa was busy talking to yahaba and telling him tips and tricks for next year while iwaizumi was consolling the others who were crying

that left you to harshly wipe off the tears and focus on the jokes that matsuhana were telling to help and lighten up the mood

‘think of it like this! you won’t have oikawa and iwaizumi fighting anymore!’

well,,,,,

that kinda made things worse

geez makki stfu!!!!

you bursted into full tears and you sobbed, loudly and freely

‘WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!’

you wheezed and then continued to cry

everyone flinched and got startled at the sight of you crying

theyve seen you cry before but not this intensely and sadly 

‘DONT GO!!! OU-OUR FAMILY’S GONE!! ITS B-BROKEN NOW!!!!’

you wailed

everyone is so used to seijoh antics that they didnt even bat an eyelash when everyone started crying

‘damn it, i was trying not to cry!’

iwa growled and buried his face into his hands to hide the pain in his eyes

‘come here, y/n-chan’

mattsun cooed while sobbing and you went straight into his arms and his arms tightly wounded around you

he pressed kisses on your neck to calm you and he whispered promises to keep you from thinking that you would be alone

the boys were all still crying even when you paid for them and at the exit, everyone wouldnt let go of each other

ngl it was a weird sight of seeing these boys just hanging on and hugging the others and you were tightly pressed against makki’s chest 

‘dont cry, y/n-chan. we’ll be here, always. just a 4-hour ride to tokyo’

he promised but you shook your head

‘--too far’

you mumbled and he was able to make out a few words and he laughed

‘i swear you’ll see us in a few hours’

it took a few words of assurance from makki and eventually mattsun and iwa joined

oikawa stayed back because he already wanted to walk you home and iwa knew you were the one that was the hardest for oikawa to tell his plans to

waving them good bye, you fussed and made sure everyone was not crying anymore

‘you text me the moment you get home, all right? and kyo-san, let the food in your stomach settle before-’

‘before i take a bath-yea i know’

he rolled his eyes but he smiled lightly before hugging you

‘go home now, y/n’

he pushed you towards his captain but you pulled away one last time to give each boy a kiss on the cheek

their lips trembled, especially the third years, and wanted to keep their tears in but they rocket launched to space

yanno that one part in season 1 when kiyoko told them to work hard and then they just snot-rocketed and cried

oikawa interlaced your fingers as you both walked towards your house and it was quiet

you were sus bc it was too quiet and oikawa would usually be either skipping, humming a tune, or just yapping his ass off

but right now

he was quiet, slouchy, and,,,, not oikawa

you looked up to see his face and you knew it wasnt just the graduating part

it was like,,,, he was nervous

you squeezed his hand and that got his attention

‘oikawa-san, whats wrong?’

he suddenly stopped and your linked hands caused you to also stop so you watched him stare down at his shoes and you blinked at him in confusion

‘oika-’

‘y/n, tell me to stay’

he,,, sounded like he was begging

pleading

desperate to hear you say it

‘why should i?’

you asked and he finally lifted his eyes to stare into your eyes

he gulped before further explaining himself 

‘coach got me a volleyball scholarship’

he whispered and your eyes widened before you launched into him for a hug and pulled back to cup his face

‘oh my god! tooru! a scholarship?! im so proud-’

‘in argentina’

he finished and your eyes dimmed, the lifted corners of your lips falling into a frown

‘o-oh’

you stuttered and pulled your hands away but he grabbed them, placing them back to his face 

‘but if you dont want me to go, i wont-’

‘NO! what?! tooru, its your dream! you and iwa-san wouldnt stop talking about that match with argentina and-and you want to go there! dont you dare let that slip away!’

you scolded frantically however oikawa’s face scrunched before he started crying

‘i-i can’t! y/n, i’ll be alone! its so far away! far from iwa, far from you-’

then you reached to your tippy toes and kissed his nose then leaned back with a big smile

‘no matter how far, ill always be right here. im always going to be here, waiting for you’

you mumbled and oikawa hiccuped then leaned his forehead against yours, eyes clashing that was so full of love and fear

‘then dont you worry, y/n-chan. oikawa-senpai will work really hard and he will come back and make you happy’

he whispered and you pulled him even closer to give him the biggest hug

‘im looking forward to it’

TIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIP

ONEYEARONEYEARONEYEARONEYEAR

truth to be told with guilty conscience, the third years havent really been in touch

yes theyve called and messaged but there wasnt a normal kind of communication, especially with oikawa

but they decided to go over there during a simultaneous week break for universities in tokyo and iwa, makki, and mattsun pressured oikawa to fly back to japan just for a week to visit

‘iwa-chan im so broke righ-’

‘fine, we’ll see y/n ourselve-’

‘OKAY FINE! HERE! IM BUYING THE TICKET NOW SEE?!’

bahahaha im sorry i love oiks so much its not even funny

they agreed to not tell anyone, even coach, to surprise you all and to see your faces of surprise bc mattsuhana are little shites and they love to mess around

it was a normal day during practice

yahaba was teaching some first years how to serve while watari was giving exercising tips on how to bend their knees without shrieking in athritis

kyotani was doing jump serves while kindaichi and kunimi tried to block him

it was a normal day

the former third years knew the ins and outs of the place and oikawa still had his keys of the gym since he never gave it back so they were easily able to sneak in

they sat on the bleachers and observed everyones growth which really blew them away and took them aback by how much they improved in little time

like kunimis actually huffing and throwing a mini tantrum bc hes so into it and hes mad he didnt get that block right

they also noticed the larger amount of new recruits and based on their practice, it looks like they would be in good hands for the next few years

however, the true shock settled in when this happened

kyotani cursed loudly when the ball hit out but yahaba scolded him for saying a bad word in front of the first years

‘kyotani, dont say that anymore! its not good to teach the babies bad words!’

he ranted and the college boys shared a look of caution and fear, bracing themselves for kyotani’s normal screaming and tantrum for being called out

but they were the most surprised when the bleach-haired boy simply glared at him and turned away to go pick up another ball to hit

‘did,,,, did kyoken-chan-’

‘was he just calm right now?’

‘oh my god iwa-chan kyoken-chan got abducted by aliens!’

I SWEAR TO GOD ITS LIKE THE CURRENT THIRD AND SECOND YEARS GOT AN OIKAWA ‘IWA-CHAN’ SENSOR BECAUSE THE MOMENT HE SAID THAT, THEIR EARS TWITCHED AND THEY JUST KNEW

THEIR SENPAIS WERE HERE

their eyes were wide and their attention snapped towards the bleachers where indeed, their 4 fathers sat

‘OIKAWA-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

kindaichi screamed and he NYOOMED towards the stairs but kunimi grabbed him by the collar

‘come down here, senpais!’

yahaba urged and coach and naoi shared a look of initial shock but then transformed into happiness

it was nice to see the family together again

they quickly turned into a dog pile with the hugs that were given around like kyotani actually giving iwaizumi a hug and makki and mattsun affectionately ruffling everyone’s hair

the other first years were just staring in awe at the legendary third years of seijoh that theyve heard so much about

‘everyone, these are your seniors!’

yahaba presented and the 3 third years became very flustered but ofc attention whore oikawa soaked it up

‘yes, hello, my little disciples! you are my legacy so work har- IWA-CHAN!’

he was cut into his famous line when his best friend bonked him for being too self-absorbed again

‘waaa, l/n-senpai was right’

some first year mumbled at the scene and their ears perked up at the name

‘l/n?’

‘where is she?! y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted and looked around

BECAUSE OF FATE

YOU AUTOMATICALLY MANIFESTED THERE

‘YES YOU CALLED’

okay no but you actually walked in just in time, carrying the crate of water bottles, focused on not dropping them so you didnt really see the others

they were silent not because they wanted to mess with you and see how long youd figure out that they were there

no

they were silent because of how BEAUTIFUL you became

you gained a few inches and your hair is now longer with your baby fat slowly melting away and you were also finally showing your growth with your body

the eyes that used to gleam with childish innocence was now mature and poised like a perfect lady

even the way you walked with a crate made it seem like a ballet performance with the grace at every step and the flowery aura you exuded

you have turned from a ridiculously cute and pretty girl to a beautiful goddess

AND YOU WERE ONLY IN YOUR SECOND YEAR HOW THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO HANDLE IT WHEN YOURE FINALLY A THIRD YEAR?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF BOYS THEY HAVE TO WARD OFF?!

‘my god’

iwaizumi mumbled, flushing red and turning away to hide his fluster

‘beautiful’

oikawa whispered and he gulped, not remembering how strikingly attractive you are

‘have mercy’

makki whined softly, clutching his heart as it started beating fast and made his stomach feel all funny

did they act like this back in the day?

mattsun doesnt have control so he ran forward and you were just putting the crate down when you were lifted off of the floor and twirled around

so like yahaba waved off the others to go back to practice so its like not awkward to be standing around and see this happening

there was only one person who did this to you

‘mattsun-san?!’

you shrieked and you giggled happily as he put you down so you were able to hug him properly and eventually, catching sight on the others behind him

your gasp made them smile widely and you pressed a hand to your mouth to hide the shock and your overjoyed laugh

if they could take a picture of this and remember the amount of love your eyes held and the pure unfiltered happiness that swirled in those orbs

it was like they felt themselves falling in love with you all over again

‘oh my god everyone’s here too!’

you ran to them and jumped at the awaiting arms of iwaizumi and he was still the bara arm babie you remembered

‘i missed you, doll’

he whispered

‘hmmm,,,i missed you more’

he let you go and you skipped over to makki who engulfed you in his arms and you felt his soft brown hair because you remembered he loved it when you ran your fingers through his hair

‘youve grown! so much! you got even more beautiful!’

he exclaimed and you giggled, bashful at his compliment

‘hmm~, no i didnt’

he gave you a deadpan look and you chuckled before scurrying away towards the one you wanted to hug the most

he definitely got more toned and he got taller too

you didnt have any time to react since he grabbed you and squished you against him

‘youre here, oikawa-san’

he nuzzled his head against your neck

‘mhm, im here now, y/n-chan’

he placed a kiss on your nose and you scrunched your face but there was a big smile that was clear

then oikawa’s eyes trailed from your face to your,,, ahem,,, girls

‘jesus, y/n-chan really grew, huh’

he complimented and you blinked confusingly before trailing after his eye’s gaze and it landed on your chest and you punched him

‘urusai, oikawa-san! my eyes are up here! youre so perverted. pervert oikawa-san’

you pouted and moved to seek comfort in the arms of makki

‘hmm, oikawa’s perverted as usual. i think it got worse with all those argentinian women’

makki teased and mattsun joined to poke fun at their captain

oikawa whined and told iwa they were making fun of him to which his own best friend betrayed him and starting teasing him too

you simply watched on and your eyes watered, your sniffles catching their attention

‘eh? why are you crying, y/n-chan?’

oikawa asked while approaching you to wipe your tears with his thumbs

but you shook your head with a teary smile

‘n-nothing-just,,,, i missed you guys. an-and im so happy because its like our f-family’s back together and i just-i-’

you cried but it was out of happiness and their hearts warmed

ofc they felt guilty because they were aware that they werent as in touch as they shouldve been so you probably felt lonely and casted aside without any contact from your boys

but they know now to make sure you feel loved and cared for because as you keep saying, they were your boys

they were a family

seijoh is a family 

and you love them 

but they love you more

a/n: okay im sorry this is probably trash and all over the place and im crying and stressing but ive been writing in between my college alg homework and its been so hard like WHY IS NUMBERS SO HARD LIKE WHAT-?! but this has kinda been the baby of my break time and relaxing few minutes bc i procrastinate too much and i want to do something i like before i actually go insane and i promise PROMISE that once everything is cleared up i will edit this and im already working on the other requests so expect a few to be out by the end of the week or something like that!!

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[musubiki]

hey so drawing isn’t my forte right.. but i do like writing and i also want to get better at it. you just so happen to be really good at writing and developing a storyline. i was wondering if you had any tips when you begin to write or where you go for inspiration it would be really cool if you gave some out

hmmm,,..,,this is a little tough because i never really thought of writing critically!! i just think about things and characters and things i want to happen and it kinda just falls together over time,,

- i guess the first point would be: have a goal for the story. whether its saving the world, destroying someone or something, or even if its something simple like slice of life, establishes the kind of story you want!! for me, tcwg has an end goal, but a lot of it is slice of life stuff in the middle, with some “major” events laced in that contribute to the endgame

- give your characters a lot of personality. sometimes its not something that can be done in one day, where you can sit down and say “character A wants to be this, and character B wants to do that!” sometimes its YEARS of waiting and watching the world around you, and watching movies and games and one day youre like “oh....thats what character A wants”

- give them hopes and dreams and fears and flaws!! give them things that will guide their actions!! because those actions is what pushes the story forward (or backward, which is fine too). give them a backstory that makes them hesistate in certain situations!! give them motivation that makes them do something!!

- i gather inspiration from literally everywhere. tumblr posts, nature documentaries, irl people i know, conversations i hear in starbucks, movies, games, everything!! imo the most “original” thing you can use as inspo is people/events/things irl. because its not you looking at an established story and taking from it, its like fate put that inspiration in your life

- if it helps, put events on sticky notes and shove them on your wall for a timeline. have some major events you know you want to happen and rearrange accordingly!! i think i did this for tcwg like......,,once. and i got tired of it. and then i was like “eh i kinda know what happens ish” and went with it

- dont worry too much about it. think about your favorite tv shows and try to picture your own story as an anime or something!! figure out what scenes are meant to hit hardest

- idk for me really the whole process was fairly unconscious...im sure theres some science to it and some official tips for storylines/story making but i wasnt that elaborate in my head about how i did things, it just came out that way

- thinking about it as an rpg game really helps!! you cant make things too easy, create some “laws” that will create difficulty for the characters!! give your weapons cooldown time. force them to go foraging for ingredients if they wanna “level up,” make certain actions have repercussions!! dont be afraid to make thinghs that will make people go “fuck if only the thunderbat could unleash lightning constantly instead of every 3rd hit, that would make life so much easier” YOURE RIGHT, IT WOULD!!! but we need them to make do

- but my main advice would be don’t rush it. the only thing i noticed about creating tcwg is that it took YEARS for the story to eventually come to this point. at first it was just mochi and lime eating oreos in mochis room doing homework, and after playing games, watching movies, reading, learning, listening for 3 years it developed into something bigger!! give it a LOT of time. 

- BUT!!! its also okay for you to establish something if it means you can move forward!! dont waste too much time going “ah, i cant do [this] because [this] hasnt been decided yet-” NO! decide it and move on. you can change it later. if it doesnt fit in with the story later on, change it when it comes to you!! dont get chained down because ONE part of the story isnt “ready.” and hell, if the whole story ends up played out and that ONE part isnt what you hoped, who cares. the other 90% of the story is still fine

- put lots of filler content to make yourself happy. let them get ice cream and do stupid pointless quests. dont be afraid to piss off your characters. not everything works out nicely. make them waste their time. frustrate them. make them make mistakes, have them act like assholes. give the story flavor

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, it makes me really happy and comforts me that you enjoy reading what I submit. It makes me really happy to write all of this and finally be able to tell someone my ideas. Thank you so much.

At first he kept trying to deny the father figure role, but when one night Jackie had a nightmare and came to him and ended up calling him dad, he stopped denying it and accepted it. And once he accepted it he did basically adopt all of them. Jackie and Grievous are literally chaos incarnate most days. They regularly love to prank the contestants and just act insane. Ran and Jackie just kind of hang around eachother, like Ran could be reading and Jackie training and they'd enjoy eachothers company. They do sometimes nap next to eachother, or play card games (which is a rare instance where Ran gets (playfully) rilled up and competitive). Grievous and Ran bonding sadly gets interrupted when Ranbob suddenly drops in, but before that Grievous would try to talk to Ran about what book he's reading and just try to make conversation with him.

Oh the height difference definitely remains. And its both terrifying and hailours to new people. It's even better when it's a 2v2 fight because Jackie has a habit of just climbing Ran like a monkey gym and sitting on his shoulders and its terrifying.

Well, since the drinking age is 3, I personally think the age limit is like 14 or something close. I believe I made their ages as Ran is 19 (almost 20. Maybe 4 months away), Jackie is 16, Watson is 30 something, Grievous is 22, and Ranbob is 28 (Ran is younger than his brother by 9 years) I have written down all their ages somewhere (and the ages where the events of Mizu took place) and if I got any wrong I will submit another ask with their ages. The other gladiators have managed to keep good relationships with most of eachother. A few like Grievous and Genevieve are close, Edward, Levi, and Watson are drinking buddies. Lagguis sadly isn't as involved cause he is sick and can't vist often at all. (I think I got everyone. Tell me if I missed anyone please, I cant check cause whenever I exit tumblr, tumblr deletes everything in my ask :') )

I dont have many rules for the Pit rn but I do have, no injuries that could cause long term or chronic damage, no sabotaging opponents, no teaming unless its a team round, no blackmail or anything of the sort to force an opponent to forfeit, and in order for a battle to end due to forfeit both sides must agree to it. But the Pit in general is a lot of things, there's fights for money, fame, and positions (like general). There's tournaments meant for nothing other than to show skill and just to fight your heart out. It's open to anyone above 14 and anyone under 80, to people from Subbin to those just passing through.

And there are different battles in the Pit, theres singles, the ones we saw in the Tales of the SMP episode. Teams, where teams of 2 battles against eachother. Free-for-all, where literally everyone fights against eachother. And Ion battles, battles where there are super powered weapons (like flame 2 iron sword. Or strength 3 potions) that spawn in the area at random. Typically Ran and Watson work best toghere, as their strategists and plan everything with back up plans, and they always call out warnings and watch eachothers back so its incredibly hard to actually hit them. And Jackie and Grievous work best toghere, with the two going insane and often taking people by surprise with their unmeasure and randomized movements and attacks.

At the start Ranbob was completely under Dreams thrall, not being able to really think for himself and even foregoing self care. When Ranbob starts to become himself again the fishermen are more than confused and hesitant, with Cletus especially stating multiple times that it may just be a trick. So it takes a while but Isaac actually is the one to suggest maybe it isn't a trick, and has to do with the mask that was found. This is later confirmed when the mask is brought to the group and Ranbob has a massive negative reaction that sets him back to how he was when they first met him.

Im honestly not sure yet, I think I want it to be a 'lets never go back' type thing but im not positive yet.

I dont have a solid backstory for the fishermen, but I know I want a little bit of it to tie to the story. Do you have any ideas for their backstory or nah? I do know I want them to have met eachother while they where in unfortunate situations and because of those they got family level close.

Ranbob doesn't take the little space well at first; staying outside when able too, even though that really upset Benjamin; and Ranbob has no idea how the outside works and has no idea how to read the weather or what he can and cant eat, but hey the enderman boi is trying his best to make up for everything he's done. And trying to build his own house to not impose on the fishermen (much like Ranboo did with Techno), but Benjamin wouldn't accept that and kept dragging him inside. It wasn't that hard for Benjamin, Isaac, and Charles to get used to Ranbob, already being used to sharing a small house, it was more Cletus with him refusing to leave Ranbob alone even for a second because he doesn't trust Ranbob at all.

The two groups actually get along surprisingly well! They like eachother and Watson once said, "It was like a family reunion. Or like long lost siblings finally found their way home."

I am once again not sure! Originally I planned for them to stay in Subbin and in the Pit. But the more I think about it the more boring that is and more I like the idea of the groups traveling toghere in the world.

I like this question! So enderman travel in groups called hauntings right? I personally headcanon the enderman in this group are basically family, biological or not. And ever since Ran and Ranbob lost their family they lost their haunting, which can be mentally damaging to a enderman. Once Ran found Waston, Jackie, and Grievous and started hanging around them more, he started feeling a connection ot them he hasn't felt on a long time. He's claimed them, as his haunting, his family. And he'll defend them with his life against anyone and anything. And then suddenly Ranbob came in, a enderman that should be part of his haunting but isn't, a enderman that killed his previous haunting. So Ran is incredibly defensive over his group, and is trying his best to keep Ranbob as far from his haunting as possible, to protect them.

Now Ranbob also got a haunting, his being Charles, Isaac, Benjamin, and even Cletus. So Ranbob is also defensive over his family. But unlike Ran, Ranbob still considers his brother as part of his haunting, his family (and yes, Ranbob did think Ran was dead when he first chased him out years ago, so he's shocked and relieved that his baby brother is still alive). And he sees how his family gets along so well with Rans family and then starts to even consider Rans haunting part of Ranbob's. Basically Ranbob has a big heart and is willing to accept almost anyone into his family, no matter what they've done.

Yep, the reason Porkius is so interested in Ran is because he's an enderman hybrid. And no one else is a hybrid expect for the two brothers (and Porkius, with him being a piglin hybrid).

Porkius is excited! He's excited to see what happens and is more than happy to agree to help as long as he is kept in the loop. Though unless he's directly asked to be involved he prefers watching from a distance at whats happening. Just so he doesn't get mauled by a pissed off enderman.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes (its late) and its so long! Im probably going to try to shorten them.

I’m glad you’re happy, it’s a nice thing to feel. Your ideas are really cool, and I hope I’ll get to see more of them in the future.

Now, can I simply say how adorable so much of this is? Jackie going to Watson when he had a nightmare, the Rans being protective of their groups, Jackie climbing Ran? I love that, it’s very heartwarming and cute, and it made me smile.

So Watson wasn’t really sure what to do with his new title at first, hm? And then Jackie called him dad? How’d he feel about that? How’d Jackie feel about the slip? Or did he even notice? He’s parenting them all, he’s gonna have a dad voice and everything. How do the adopted ones feel about him embracing it?

Jackie and Grievous, two people to truly fear when they wish to cause havoc. Tremble before them. Do they prank people, or do they just become absolute madmen on the battlefield? Or something else. Honestly, anything with these two just instantly makes me amused. 

Jackie and Ran being chill buddies. very nice. Ran getting competitive over card games is a funny thought. Does he win often? Does Jackie? What kind of card games do they play?

Rather sad Ran and Grievous bonding is interrupted, but it’s nice to hear Grievous trying it. Hopefully they’ll get there someday. 

Oh my god, it’s the height difference. Jackie getting on Ran’s shoulder sounds absolutely terrifying. Imagine being some poor new guy pitted against these gremlins and the short ones climbs on the tall ones shoulder-both look absolutely gleeful with the destruction they’re about to wreak, and you already know you cannot outrun them. 

Jackie...Jackie...he’s da youngest. He’s small, and young, and you have no idea how much I’m laughing at this. I don’t even know why, it’s just really, really funny to me. Probably something to do with what a complete force of chaos we all know this boy is. Oddly fitting, but hilarious. How does Jackie feel about this? 

How do the others? Are they a bit more protective over him? Does Ran like to flaunt his three years more over him? 

Grievous and Genevieve are buddies! Very nice, they seem to have a good dynamic. Watson, Edward, and Levi also being close? Very interesting, has a lot of potential. I bet they share a lot of funny stories.

So we’ve established the basics of The Pit. Doesn’t seem too bad, for a fighting arena, to be honest. Seems pretty popular, actually. Do the gladiators live there? In the palace? Or do they just have a house somewhere nearby? What kind of establishments and areas are around? Food places, stores? 

So Ran and Watson are the scariest team because of their strategy, and Jackie and Grievous are the scariest team because of their randomness? It checks out. I’m curious though, how do the other combinations work out?

Ranbob sounds like he has a less than fun time here, and the poor guy could really use some closure. What’s he like, free from the influence of the mask? He seems pretty close to Benjamin, so at least he’s got that going for him. Though he and Cletus don’t seem to have the strongest bond at first. How is that resolved?

And how does Ran feel about his brother’s new haunting, after everything? I imagine that he’s at least a little bit unhappy with it, for one reason or another-and there’s quite a few reasons for him to pick from.

How did that house-building attempt go, between Ran never being above water, and probably never building a house before? I can’t imagine too well.

Some ideas for backstory, well, hm. Isaac seemed dressed a bit fancier than the others, perhaps he comes from a richer family than the others? That’s about all I’ve got for now, sorry. 

It’s nice to hear they got along, who clicks the easiest?

Possible road trip? Always fun.

So, the enderman hybrids have adopted their respective groups as their hauntings. You’ve mentioned Ranbob’s pretty cool with this, how does Ran feel? Obviously, he’s less than pleased with Ranbob, but what about the fishermen? Protective Ran and Ranbob! How protective exactly? Is it subtle, or overbearing at times? Actually, how do their instincts lead to them interacting with their groups overall?

Porkius must not see Ender hybrids too often, if he’s so interested in them. It’s nice that he’s willing to help out though, and his concern is valid. I wouldn’t want an angry enderman hybrid after me either. 

Are hybrids not overly common, then, if there’s only Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius around currently, or are they just not mentioned a lot?

Thanks for the ask, a lot of it made me smile. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you’ll be willing to send more when you have the time.

[purgatorypoetry]

sometimes the poem is a letter unaddressed, unidentified sender and wind-sent to feet of any recipient and any that hold it know its meant for some other, always some other, am i right?

letters of letters of ink and all mine is faded - whether on page or under skin i need a new, tattoo, 'to whom it may concern' across my throat to you to you as spectre, to you to you as ghost, sometimes a poem is a letter addressed as a memory,

a time when carefree shivering pale, thin bodies, pale, thin moon youd think the three of us were starving, cold in my mind, just that once - everything else about you all warm wind and cicadas we got to know each other to find we already knew each other and to this day my only regret with you is to have ever been without you,

but without as the opposite of within, you were a light glowing in darkness then when you didnt even know, when i didnt even know and i dont even know how you did so many of those beautiful things you used to and i hope you still do like,

brighten a room by walking in, then trip - pretend to be helpless, be secretly dangerous, i hope youre still i bet youre still dangerous but mostly im just glad youre well,

today it is still ice, fucking, cold - im talking feel it in the bones and remember youre getting old cold but theres no clouds, the sun heaves all its got and theres a soft warmth on gooseflesh skin and you could easily miss it, that tinge of warmth but its nice, i feel like i found a piece of that happiness ive been missing i feel it pasted back inside and now i think maybe now i rattle just a little less,

sometimes a poem is a thank you, often times an apology, a sacrifice burned (whatever you like) i mean a sacrifice burned (wherever you like) i mean make an altar of my chest i mean take this take this flesh i mean sometimes a poem is penance,

you said you wont forgive me would never forgive me i heard could never forgive me i want you to know that i hope you can, i truly hope you could i hope you could i hope you never do,

i dont know if i can say that out loud, really - i dont know if my mouth knows the sounds really but i write it, write it recite it as prose sometimes a poem is a disguise,

sometimes sometimes a poem has a monster inside and other times a poem is wish for a dream a wish for an end that wasnt really, really an end -

sometimes a poem is just a letter

this one says thank you for being my friend