#let justus be sexy

[skyetenshi]

Justus: *beendet seine epische Schluss rede eines Falls* ... Und damit ist der Fall gelöst.

Peter: Okay, Justus, deine Erklärung zum Fall sehen ich ja ein und das macht auch alles Sinn. Aber was ist jetzt mit Random Charakter, wie passt er/sie in die Angelegenheit? *Deutet auf Random Charakter*

Random Charakter: Heh?

Just: *seufzt*...das entzieht sich auch meiner Kenntnis.

Peter: *zu Random Charakter* Vielleicht möchtest du das erklären?

Random Charakter: Ich weiß nicht, was ihr meint.

Bob: Aber wir haben dich gesehen, du hast uns die ganze Zeit beobachtet!

Random Charakter: Ah.

Peter: Du hast sogar Fotos gemacht und dir was notiert.

Random Charakter: Nun. Ja?

Justus: Außerdem versteckt du die ganz Zeit etwas in deiner Tasche mit dem du nervös spielst.

Random Charakter: *stockt* Ähhhh...

Bob: Und warum hast du das alles gemacht?

Random Charakter: *seufzt* Ich habe nicht euch beobachtet. Ich habe Justus beobachtet.

Just: *horcht verwirrt auf* Mhm? Aber warum?

Random Charakter: *schweigt einen Moment, atmet durch und sagt in trotzigem Ton* Weil Intelligenz sehr sexy ist.

Peter: Äh?

Justus: oh... *Reißt die Augen auf* Oh!

Bob: Was?

Random Charakter: Und das hier *holt Zettel aus ihrer Tasche* ...ist meine Nummer.

Justus: ... Danke.

[stxrmnight]

I JUST CRIED (POST TRIAL)

AZDAJA IS SO FUCKING SMASSLL

Vrtra sacrificing half his power and essence to revive her just demolished me real love of family man im ahhjjh

Nemi def yelled for Zero when she was struck like "Remember what the light is to you! It's in you! It always has been!" And idk maybe there is some flashback to their moments together for romance right before Zero gets up as a Paladin

When Golbez helped I went "YALL DID TALK NO JUSTU TO HIM??!!" but the scene was very well made ahhhh

Hhhw hat else...

Well gposing with Paladin zero only lasted 20 minutes themed in relief of safety, soft hold and "hehe you look sexy in that"

Zero dragging Golbez is si good

GAAAH HAD TO SAY "I')) see you again righr?" For the romance. Ill see void quests mention in the inn

HAND GRIP YEAH BABEYYY

Oh god the thirteenth is gonna be invaded by Loporrits

"lets extend the cafe there" LMAO??!

>chooses the less intense dialogue for Jullus question

Okayyy dont involve me in thw restoration you dont need the wol for trade agreements k thanksaaa

ARE PEOPLE LAUGHING ST JULIS BC THW TWINS THOUGHT HE WAS KICKING THEM OUT AHDJGKVKG?!!

Oh he us telling the twins to come to latam lmao

Nemi, hearing them say to go back to Sharlayan with literal Zeromus in her hand: can I talk to Ryne

THE CRYSTAL IS HUGE IN RYNE'S HANDS ABSJDKestinein why lnao

Azdaja is small but powerful...

Wait, if Varshahn is still a thing. Is Vrtra's hyge body just layign there unconscious??!!!

Trebol...

Ohhh Erenville brings someone, okay...

Well, that isn't a bad end sbjdkfg

patch 6.5 live reaction records

going quest by quest and full unbridled stuff under the cut. don't click any read mores until you have played!

Quest 1: Seeking the Light

ah yes it's me, Zero, and 945645 players (Actually Varshahn starst the quest but u know what I mean)

Y'sthola with a node...

the aether transmitter nodes make me want to punt them like footbals

I wonder if there is an orthos easter egg at the Graha Tia and Noah mention

hold on, WHAT?!

THE CRYSTAL TOWER OF THE FIRST INTO THE RIFT??? LETS TAKE CRYSTAL PEEPAW STATUE OUT FIRST CAUSE UHHH

SHE CANT MENA THAAT FOR SURE LIEK JSUT THE ENRGY BC THAT WOULD BE A HUGE MAP CHANGE DFJGBDFGFD

ALSO I DONT THINK THE CRYSTAL TWOER CAN DO ALEXANDER OMEGAA MOVEMENTS ANYMORE DFJGBDJFGFD

Nemi dialogue choice is "firs time by ear" bc so true lol

oh Zero inmediately goes "i wanna go" but how

ZERO GIRL DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SYAING?! A SPIRIT VESSEL?!

Oh... voidsents can do soul separation outside of the 13th? that, taht makes sense but goddamn

okay then still no chance of first teleporting but that makes sense. that would be huge to be possible when we're already struggling with smth like moving light aether across shards

WAIT THE SCIONS STILL HAVETHE SPIRIT VESSELS?? THAT IS SO FUNNY

but Y'sthola lending where her soul was carried hmmmmmmmm

gotta say.. the amount of intreaction and material fx in this no dialogue cutscene is very nice. i feel i liked this voiceless with that

wait wiat wiat wait robes for zero IS THERE A CHANCE OF SEIENG HER NAKED ACCCIDENTALLY DFKJGFDJGFD NEMI IS COMBUSTING RIGHT NOW

Nemi would have scoffed at that "warrior of darkness glorious return" remark lmaoo

NOT BEQ LUGG GOING "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU" KDNFGJKDFD

UNUKALHAI MENTIONEDDD

WHAT THE FUCK RYNE VOICE ACTING??!!

Nemi def panicked and tried to offer some spare ultima thule mats as payment to Beq Lugg dfjkgdgfd

that said that part of Zero getting to see the crystarium aand see recovery after stagnaation... ahhh

[mira--mira]

I have a question about OOT, I don't remember if you have talked about this before but I have wondered how Madara and Hashirama would react to Naruto's sexy justu? Will we see any of that in the future?

I dont think Ive mentioned it before, but the sexy jutsu is actually coming up very soon! Its in one of the last interlude chapters. Due to a bit of timeline sheningans the chunin exams got pushed back and bc Obito directly encountered the terrors the Akatsuki plans will be delayed a bit too. However Jiraiya was completely independent of these so hes about to show up in the village and will run into Naruto and have a slightly different interaction in canon, but basically the sexy jutsu and summoning gets brought up so of course he decides to 1. show Madara his 100% effective super cool ultimate distraction technique to get his praise and 2. ask him about the weird dude pulling toads out of nowhere.

(Also as a side note, due to the direction I have for the fic I cant really scrap jiraiya, but uh lets just say others react to his...proclivities in more appropriate ways imo. Its not treated as ~quirky~ but harmless by the narrative. Hes a creep in canon and a lot more characters recognize this in-fic.)

Anyway Naruto shows Madara the sexy technique expecting great results but he gets nothing. Madara is very gay. The Uchiha also had communal baths and children were taken by whichever parent was available. Hes seen a lot of naked women. The most he'll admit is it could be a good distraction technique but only for a split second against a competent opponent. Naruto, miffed, tries the reverse technique. He hasnt practised it as much tho so it comes out a bit wonky and Madara is equally as unimpressed. A sexy adult man version of Naruto is still a version of *Naruto* his student/little brother. Naruto, properly irritated now bc he was sure the techniques would go over well, tries one last thing. He transforms into a flirty (but age appropriate) version of Hashirama.

That gets a reaction, but not the one he was expecting, namely Madara's instinctive reaction to punch anything that pretends to be Hashirama but is clearly not. He sends Naruto flying, before immediately rushing to his side, scolding him and apologizing in the same breath. (Madara has already perfected the technique of determining the real Hashirama apart from his clones and logically I extend this to anyone else transforming into Hashirama.) Meanwhile the real Hashirama, whos been sitting to the side with Tatsuki watching this all go down, is bent over laughing.

As for Hashiramas reaction the sexy technique or its reverse counterpart, I typically put him in the same category as Madara as far as reactions go. I switch back and forth between headcanons of him as bi or gay. Either way though its very obviously Naruto transforming into sexy adult versions of himself and Hashirama and Madara are so wrapped up in each other even if he could be attracted to the sexy woman/man, hed probably be shocked at the shift the very first time and then not much more.

[feralcherry]

Naruto takes that might enrage you (girl addition)

Warning, some of these takes might enrage you- that’s fine.

Fillers don’t count as canon, don’t even bring them up if you talk about this post lol. Also it’s been a while since I’ve seen the whole series, so some of these might be disproven as I continue with my rewatch. The excuse that Shounen is for boys is also very weak and holds no weight, as tons of girls (and nonbinary folk) relate to the characters in this show, so that doesn’t excuse Kishimoto for his weak writing of women.

To preface, I love this show. Love it to pieces. It was part of my childhood and holds a very special place in my heart. But there are some things I personally don’t like or wish could have been done better. I love every character and will go blue in the face talking about how much I still love this show. That doesn’t free it from my criticism. I’m also only listing what I don’t like and what I would change, though I’d be more than happy making a post about what I loved.

Let’s start off with my girl Sakura Haruno. She is easily the most hated girl in the series, and all because of how ‘weak’ or ‘annoying’ she is. As if that’s not the fault of Kishimoto himself lol. She was shoved off to the side continuously and never given cool storylines, unlike the other members of her team.

What I took issue with about Sakura:

-What were this girls dreams?? The whole reason she became a ninja was never really talked about nor were they really developed as time went on. She was all about Sasuke, which would be fine if she grew out of it. But no. 

-Her crush on Sasuke was super stale. He was handsome and powerful, but what else was there to him? He was a jerk to her most of the time (there are some instances he’s somewhat kind to her, but if we go off canon, it’s not enough to make her deep love make sense). I think it would have been so much more interesting to see her grow out of her infatuation for him. If they had to have ended up together, watching them relearn each other and fall in love would have made them more compelling. She stayed loving a boy who thought very little of her. 

-She’s pitted against her best friend and doesn’t develop much of a relationship with other girls her age. It’s kind of sad, and I think they should have fought over something other than a boy. 

-We are told repeatedly that she’s super powerful by other characters, but she’s never given time to truly shine. She got like a single battle with Sasori and she deserved more cool moments like that!

-She was a healer, which makes perfect sense. But why is it mostly girls who are the healers? It’s a bit weird, when there’s also Neji with his perfect chakra control. She only has her healing abilities and her super strength; but even then someone like Kabuto has more offensive healing based techniques than her. Like his chakra scalpel. 

What I would fix:

-New dreams. Show her find a dream outside of her team and grow into it. Also give her more of a backstory. Sai has more of a backstory than she does and he’s way newer than she is.

-I would let her fuck up one of the Peins instead of Konohomaru- she’s a main character and passed over for that little brat?? She should have gotten to do more than scream out for Naruto and heal people :/ 

-She her intellect a bit more. She’s so smart, and yet we don’t really see it.

-She’s perfect for genjutsu, Kakashi himself said so. So why not give that to her? Or play more with ninjutsu. She has earth and water on her chart, so why not give her those abilities? Maybe even wood jutsu to even her out with her super OP teammates. Idk how, it could have happened, this is a show full of demons and god like abilities, it could have happened someway.

-She should have grown out of Sasuke and not married a man who doesn’t really appreciate her and isn’t there for her at all.

-I would totally have expanded on Inner Sakura more. Imagine if it made her mind impenetrable? Could have woven that in with her skills for genjutsu and made her unaffected by other’s illusions.

Next, let’s go with a more beloved character of the fandom. Hinata. Now personally I don’t care much for her- she could have been so cool but just like Sakura, they kind of messed her up.

What I didn’t like about Hinata:

-Her entire existence is revolves around Naruto. Naruto this, Naruto that- and yet she simply sat back and watched as his life was shit and did nothing despite her ‘love’ for him. And then fillers/movies are added to show that oh wait! she’s been there this entire time!! no lol. Build her up from the start as his love interest at the very least.

-She stayed super meek the entire time. Shy girls are okay, but I wanted to see her grow into herself more and not need as much reassurance. She’s a ninja and should stand on her own two feet more.

-She’s less skilled then Neji and I would have loved to see her outmatch him at some point, even once. Or gain abilities outside of her clan, or do something that made a name for herself outside of being the heiress of the Hyuga.

-She never fixed her clan which was one of her few spoken goals. That was a huge bummer.

-I think it would have been cool to see her mess up Pein a little more. She only stepped in because it was Naruto, which reinforces that she’s only about him. But at least let her land a hit if she’s as powerful as people say she is. 

-She makes the most sense to be a housewife or a healer with the way her attitude is but in Boruto, she’s kind of rewritten to be a ‘scary’ mother which just doesn’t fit her. Plus, she tells Boruto to go and take care of his dad?? Bro, that’s your child and your husband is the hokage. 

What I’d fix:

-Prove her dad wrong and show him that her compassion isn’t a weakness but a strength. 

-Fix the Hyuga clan bs.

-More character growth and showing more of her life away from Naruto. Her romance with him could also have been better. I hated her always watching him but never standing up for him, it kills me.

-Neij dying for her proved their clans hierarchy bs to be right and it just doesn’t make sense for him to die for her. It showed that he was right to feel caged and that he simply existed for the benefit of the Main family.

Now with the others, there’s much less I have to say about them because they aren’t main characters or the love interests.

Ino-

-Jealous of Sakura, no dreams of her own, stupidly loves Sasuke and for what? WHAT’S SO COOL ABOUT HIM?

-I like her growth for the most part, it was cool watching her fight in the War Arc with her team. 

-Why is she the medical ninja? I never got that.

-She got with Sai but they didn’t really show their development and how they fell in love with each other. It’s like she only likes him because he looks like Sasuke and called her pretty once.

Tenten-

-Should have gotten to train with Tsunade at some point, since she was the one who originally idolized her. 

-We know nothing about this girl at all. She doesn’t even have a last name.

-Her weapon usage was meant to be so cool and yet she missed so often- there’s a disconnect there. Her abilities could have been built up more. Imagine if no matter what she never ever missed. That would have been cool.

-Her weapon shop isn’t doing well. Just because it’s an era of peace doesn’t mean the need for weapons is totally over, not if there are still active ninja??

Karin-

-I actually like her, she’s kind of funny and I like that she’s mean even if she can get annoying.

-Again, another healer, though she’s also sensory which is more interesting. I’d like to see her with some jutsus though. That would have been neat.

-Her love for Sasuke makes sense since he saved her and smiled at her, making her think of him as her hero. And she’s the only one he apologizes to without Naruto strong arming him into it.

Temari-

-She’s pretty solid in my opinion. Though I would have loved to see her more without her brothers.

Konan-

-Her goals in life were to support Yahiko and Nagito’s dreams. It would irritate me so much if other girls in the series were more well rounded and din’t also have some sort of dream involving a boy.

-She was underused. I would have loved to see her fight more.

Tsunade-

-Only becomes hokage to support others dreams...All of them men. And then later passes the title onto Kakashi who doesn’t even want to be Hokage either. 

-No other justus used, she’s on par with Jiraya and Orochimaru and yet she’s only super strong and the best medic. She should theoretically be more well rounded than that, right? She also should be shown fighting more even if she’s a medic, she’s also s legendary sannin 

-Had to be saved by 12 year old Naruto. I know it’s a show about him, but she’s meant to be a literal badass but needs a kid to save her.

Kushina-

-Wanted to become the first woman hokage and then didn’t. Her husband did. and then she became a housewife?? What?? She should have become the first woman hokage with a badass husband or had another prominent role in the village like as a council member or something.

Kurenai-

-Always lost a fight? She’s some genjutsu using badass but always lost fights.

-No real personality, she’s just chilling there. Sexy as hell though. Has a kid and that’s about it.

-What I will give her is that I’m so glad she was allowed to age. So many anime mothers always look the same as their teenage self and she looks like she can be anybody's mama.

Over all, the girls could have been handled much better. I wouldn’t find issues with any of them being housewives or all about boys if that weren’t what seems to be the standard in the anime. I just wanted more of a variety and better character development, especially for Sakura and Hinata who are the mains 😩

Now to what might REALLY piss people off- ships! I’m not trying to start some war here, this is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it.

Sakura- Naruto, since they had the most development and showed more than two seconds of caring for each other. Even Sai in Shippuden has more of a connection to Sakura than Sasuke did.

Ino-Shikamaru, if she had to end up with a guy it makes sense it’d be him since they spend more time together than her and Sai did. (inosaku for the win tho)

Hinata-Shino or Kiba, again, because they spent more time with her. Naruto and her felt very rushed and I don’t quite understand the appeal.

The one that made the most sense and became canon was Shikatem, though their son’s design was lazy :D 

If I do a second part, it’ll be about the boys and the ships with them that made sense to me. For now, this is all I have. If you’ve made it this far, thank you lol

byeee

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

38.

I am back in bed with Robyn, I mean of course I would be. I wasn’t going to stay there forever and add on the fact I kicked them niggas out, I didn’t say I have fallen out with them, I just said I needed to go. Now I will just keep my distance, it is the best way because if I say I have fallen out with them, they may just cause some shit and I don’t want that right now in my life. Also Valentine’s day is coming, and I want the pussy so bad, it is so bad to see her get changed and just be walking around naked, I can’t do it sometimes, but I don’t mention anything, I love Robyn. I will wait for her, she is my wife and if she is not ready then she isn’t, but she needs to give on Valentine’s day of course “Mel loves blasting reggae music in the morning outside doesn’t she” Robyn walked of the bathroom, once again her boobs are out and here I am struggling to contain myself but I do “that is Mel for you, she is outside with Aeko dancing around. Did I tell you that Jen bough Aaron and Justus over to play with Aeko, she said that Aeko didn’t really comply, he just stood with Jen and watched on. He is so used to being with adults, have you spoken to Mark?” shaking my head “don’t annoy me Chris, I need action please” the action I want is sex, it’s actually getting frustrating “I am not, I spoke to Nia-” my phone started to ring, lifting up my phone from my chest “they could be here” answering the call “what is up nigga? We just landed in LAX my brother, send me the fucking details, just me and Shem” I am so glad they are here “that’s what I am talking about, I will text you the address. Welcome to America brother” disconnecting the call “Stephan is here” I said in excitement “Chris this house is very compacted right now, I think you may need to stay at your home with them” Robyn wanting me to not stay with her “oh but what about staying together?” let her say it “I have work meeting today, so I want you to take care of Aeko. Take your friends to your home, stay there. I think even with Royalty, just stay there. There are too many bodies here, I have Noella coming” I didn’t want the kid “uhhh, so I have to look after Aeko?” Robyn gasped at me “I was joking” I laughed nervously, I wasn’t really.

I am super excited that Stephan and Shem are here “I know you wasn’t joking about what you said earlier” Robyn came back over to me, sitting on the edge of the bed “you meant that, now you are making me doubt you. If you give that girl that boy back in your care without proper court proceedings, I will fucking murder you” she pointed at me “grow up Chris, spend time with him. Let him hang around with you. When you go, you take his stepper with you too, he needs it. He is very much happy now he has that. I am being deadass Chris, you do not drop him off anywhere, not even your mother. He doesn’t deserve, I can’t even trust you with your seed” I chuckled “I won’t, promise. Relax baby, seriously. I won’t do anything like that” Robyn stared at me as I stared at her, she is being deadass “I will speak to Mark today, I will take Aeko with me to spend time with him. Promise, I also told Nia I am here. Royalty is wanting to come now, she keep texting me” Robyn got up from the bed “there is so much happening in this home Chris, I just need to do these two meetings then you can bring her over” she is stressed out “why you all uptight?” I asked “because it’s always on me Chris, take some responsibility, even my mom sees it. Help me, you were more excited to see your friends” Robyn walked off, she is not happy.

Robyn didn’t make me breakfast, so I am eating cereal. Aeko got a nice breakfast then me, but just sitting here Aeko is practically taken over. Like who the hell is married to Robyn, me or him. He is here in this living room sat on her lap, the fuck. I am deadass jealous right now, I am slipping. I am practically losing my wife to a four year old, when the hell did this happen. She also gave him her pancake, like what. I am not feeling this vibe at all, Robyn and Aeko have formed this very close bond and I am not involved but it’s so beautiful to see at the same time, I mean when was the last time I have had laid up on Robyn like he is, this is very unfair right now. I need to do some deep thinking right now; she has really taken to him “what you thinking?” Dennis asked me, he has caught me just staring at Robyn with my cereal in hand, I am thinking hard “did I miss something” turning to Dennis “with?” he question “Aeko and Robyn, like this bond. I wouldn’t have expected this” sitting next to Dennis on the couch “oh they are very close, she’s been watching over him with this new stepper she made sure it was here, he is taken to it. He’s sitting in meetings with her, he’s always asking where is Bobyn, likes to know she is around. He helps her with everything, and now we are like Chris who?” Dennis laughed but I didn’t “yeah, she seems very uptight with the whole me giving Aeko back to his mother, she will kill me if I do without proper judges order. I feel like she is going to make me go for full custody” I mumbled “that is what you should be wanting Chris, how come you feel such a way with him” I can’t seem to shake it off at all “he looks like her, and she is making my life hell. She got pregnant, I didn’t want it” I am not scared to admit that “you need to fight your own demons Chris, you need to see him as your son, he is so kind. We all love him, she’s trash but he is a diamond” shaking my head “I can’t wait till Robyn and I have a son” getting up from the couch, I think we should have another.

Opening the door seeing Stephan “I bought the ops with me, is this what Cali living is like!? My god, come here family” Stephan hugged me, this guy is huge “yooo” I said as he picked me up laughing “what we saying in the Brown household” he put me down “I been waiting on you and Shem, what’s good” dapping him “good seeing you bro” Stephan pointed behind me “we got that white Chris Brown, what’s good” Stephan went over to Aeko, my son just stood watching “hey there, you got the Gucci slides, ayo!” Aeko shook his hand “thank you for calling me over, it’s been the best call I received in a while you know. Good seeing you son” he patted Aeko’ head “I thought I heard some London hood nigga in this home” Robyn said, Stephan laughed out “nice meeting you again Robyn, I come in peace. Of course” he hugged Robyn “we passing hugs now, but good to see you. Chris needs some good friends, respectful friends. Look at this” Robyn pointed at Stephan hugging her “you just don’t like OHB, that is all” closing the door “they are pigs, period. Anyways, make yourself at home. Come on Aeko, let’s find your blankie” watching Robyn sway away, she looks sexy in my tee “you checking wifey out huh?” Stephan caught me “always, but like Robyn said. Make yourself home, we are going to go to my crib soon” we will just stay there, Robyn is not wrong this home has become very congested.

Robyn waved me over to come inside “just going inside” I said to the boys as I got up “no problem, Cali weed is good” jogging over to Robyn, stepping back inside “so what is happening? I am going to go into my meeting, are you going to go back to your home with them and keep in contact with me? I have packed Aeko’ things also, just for a few days. Bring them both over tonight, home should be less busy” nodding my head “yeah, I will have them both at my home, bring them both here after. If Roro comes but I think she will be either way, look Chris I love you a lot. Your priorities need to be us, that includes Aeko” nodding my head in agreement “I get it, I do. Hopefully we get to bond, I been peeping how he is very close to you” Robyn laughed “yeah, he’s really taken to me but yeah, please be kind to him. He will tell me, give him a chance yeah. He is Aeko Brown, he is not her son. He is your son, stop placing the two together, and you take his stepper. You do not close the door on him, don’t leave him in the dark. He needs love Chris, stop giving so much change to him too, it’s stressing for him” Robyn really has clung to him “you’re too good for me Robyn, you really are” I can’t fault her “I haven’t let my hate for her overshadow my love” Robyn is right “you can do this, on your own. Both kids, yes?” nodding my head, Robyn is testing me clearly, I cannot fail her in this because she will think shit of me “I will” turning around to go back outside “Shem, take a picture of me and my nigga” Stephan said as he got up “can you stand there and I stand here, I don’t want you towering over me now” his deep ass laugh “nah, I will do my hood pose” he crouched down “that’s my nigga for life you know how we do” dapping Stephan as I stood next to him.

I better go, Nia said she would drop Royalty off at my home in an hour “I heard you are kicking us out? I didn’t think I would have that affect on people?” Stephan said to Robyn “kicking you out? Oh no, I am trying to kick my husband out, did he say it to you? That I would hire you as a bodyguard? People would be scared” I am shocked he isn’t “me? I am too soft for that; my heart can’t take it but on a real. Thank you for even letting me and my brother step foot in the home” Robyn passed me Aeko’ bag “see you tonight, you’re coming here anyways. Just that, I would have had you all here but it’s just hectic and I have so many people here. I am doing work here; I am not going to them so it’s hard” Robyn explained but she didn’t need too at all “pick up that” I pointed at Aeko’ stepper “is this for you?” he said behind me “you’re hilarious, but it’s for Aeko. Come, let’s go” I said to him as I walked off “I am so glad Rihanna as kicked Chris out” Jah said laughing “man, shut up before she makes you come with me, then you won’t be laughing” he is annoying, making my way to the door. Maybe Robyn should have got a bigger home, but then again it will still be hectic with everyone. Shem opened the door for me, turning around seeing Aeko just staring at me “I am sure I told you to come?” why is he staring at me like I just swore at him “meet you outside bro” Stephan walked out “come on” I said to him, he turned around and ran off to Robyn, crashing into her legs “man” walking closer to him “we going to my house, we’re coming back later. We need to go and see Royalty” watching him pushing behind Robyn, like she is the one wanting him to come with me “what is wrong, you’re going with your dad. He isn’t that bad you know” Robyn moved to the side “no I stay with mommy” my eyes bulged “what!?” I spat ever so loudly “nigga, that is Robyn. You know damn well” what is this boy on “Bobyn mom, I stay here. Please” is this boy being real right now, what the hell “he’s literally going to make me cry, Aeko. You’re going to come back” Robyn said “how about I come with you, yes?  I will come and keep you company yes?” Jah got involved, is my son being real right now.

My son went to the car because of Jah, does he hate me “that boy has got me wanting to cry oh my god, he is sick of being thrown around. You are to blame too” Robyn of course said “wow, why me? I didn’t do anything, I wasn’t the one throwing him to me” how can she say that “he knows your useless, you literally tortured him with allowing him to sleep in a dark room, he knows. You don’t interact with him; you are mean to him and he knows it. I can promise you I have never let him call me mom, that is not my place, wow” Robyn is really emotional about this “I feel his sadness, oh my god. Chris do better by him. He is your son; he doesn’t deserve to be feeling this way. I think he feels he’s going to be taken somewhere else, he doesn’t need this. He shouldn’t feel that with you, but he is, and you need to do better. I hope you seeing this has made you think what you are doing, this is not a joke. We are speaking on his mental health, why is he clinging onto us. We are strangers to him but it’s because we show him love, a family unit, we show him respect, we care, and you don’t and he knows it. This has really got me feeling some type of way and I hope it’s made you think, see you later Chris” I swallowed hard watching Robyn go back into the home, that has hurt way more then I thought.

[ruby-grapefruit]

Blue or Green? | Part One

Summary: Sakura joined ANBU to get away. With her partner at her back she felt stronger than ever, ready to take on anything. If only she wasn’t slightly obsessed with him and knew who he really was.

Rating: Explicit

AO3 & FF.Net

Chapter Navigator:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Her hidden figure slowly crept along the ceiling leaving only a small shimmer in the air to indicate her passing. She was steadily making her way towards her target’s quarters, her fingers faintly emitting just enough chakra to keep her stabilized along the celling.

Every couple of minutes a guard patrolling the hall would pass under her. She knew they couldn’t sense her, and even if one of them happened to glance up, all they would see would be a plain ceiling, ANBU’s specialty shadow enhancing justu ensured that.

As Sakura turned the final the corner, she noted the two guards standing in front of her target’s bedroom and inwardly sighed. She wished she could just kill them and be done with it, but her missions were always leave no evidence of foul play and two dead guards was the exact opposite of that.

She turned around and gently shuffled back down the dimly lit hall only pausing slightly whenever a guard appeared beneath her.

This Crime Lord was quite smart. Her targets room was only accessible through that door. She had previously scouted the outside of the compound hoping to find window access and had been severely disappointed. After double and triple checking that there had been no hidden windows, she had eventually settled on checking out the inside of the compound. Her last hope had been an unguarded door, so that she could easily sneak in. Unfortunately, that had not been the case and she was now going to have to gain access the old fashion way. Sadly, this also meant that this would no longer be an easy mission.

When she reached the back entrance of the compound, reserved only for servants, she silently dropped to the ground and slipped out the door. The two guards on duty were both too drunk to notice her dark figure creep into the shadows of the woods beyond. She made sure to keep to the trees while she slowly but surely edged her way away from the compound.

It was only when the lights of the large house were but small flickers in the distance did she break out into a full run. Finally letting go of her shadow enhancing jutsu she re-appeared in the forest startling a few rodents who quickly scurried away. Her feet barely touched the ground as she left no trail, going back a couple of times and looping around just to be safe.

A mile away from the compound, she slowed back to a light jog and crunched her shoes in the dead leaves that littered the ground. Opening her mouth, she sang a couple of bird-like notes and paused, straining her ears to wait for the reply. It came not 30 seconds later, and she made her way towards the sound.

Crouched on the fourth branch of a large oak tree Tiger stared down and watched her approach.

All clear? She signed now that he could see her.

All clear.

“You’re back soon. Are you done already?” He asked when she leapt up onto the tree and sat down next to him.

Tiger was, for all intents and purposes, her guard. She was the one who snuck in and killed the targets, while his job was to watch her back. He had been her partner from the very beginning, and she trusted him with her life.

“No.” She groaned, “We have to do plan B.”

“Nice.”

If she could see his face, she knew he would be smiling at her with that gleeful glint in his eye. He knew she hated plan B, and because she hated it, he loved it. Plan B also meant that he would be doing more than just sitting in a tree a mile away waiting for something bad to happen.

She reached behind him on the tree and grabbed her travel pack. Rummaging through it she finally pulled out a sealing scroll. Unrolling the scroll onto her thigh she pressed her palm into the middle of the circular sealing pattern and allowed her chakra to flow into the paper. Out fell a low-cut silk white nightie and a blue silk robe with embroidered flowers.

“New outfit?” Tiger said while pulling out a scroll of his own.

“Shut up Tiger.” She teased.

She jumped down from the tree and started to peel off her ANBU armor. Once she was fully stripped, she shimmied into the nightie and tied the robe around her waist. She knew a lot of shinobi who would feel naked without any weapons. Yet, for her it was only a minor irritant. This was why she was tasked with these missions; her hands were the weapons.

She took off her Falcon mask and undid her long blond braid, letting it fall in waves past her shoulders. Even without the mask though, no one would recognize her. When she went on missions ANBU provided her with a special hair dye that she used on her light pink hair. With her dark blue contact lenses and heavy cosmetics, she looked like a completely different person. If Tiger ever recognized her for who she really was, he didn’t let on.

She didn’t know who he was either. She was sure he also used ANBU’s feature distortion services, probably contact lenses and hair dye like her at the minimum. It all depended on how recognizable you were, and Sakura Haruno was very recognizable.

As Asa though, Sakura found herself very alluring. Even in a world were women could secretly be killers, men still had a soft spot for attractive women. So, like every other kunoichi, her disguise was exactly that. With blond hair and blue eyes men tripped over themselves to get her attention, and if a crime ever got connected back to her Asa disguise, well, blue eyes and long blond hair is not exactly an uncommon combination.

When she turned back towards Tiger, he was ready as well. With his dark brown shaggy hair, piercing green eyes and tan skin, he was breathtaking.

She was a high-class hooker and he was her rich care-taker trying to gain the Crime Lord’s favour by offering her as a gift to his young son.

This was plan B and it always worked.

Men were so predictable. They never refused free and easy women, no matter the situation. Granted, their targets had always been civilians and low-level shinobi, who happen to be much less suspicious than the Elite.

“Ready my sweet?” Tiger asked, already in character. He flashed her a dazzling smile and her heart melted.

It was only recently that Sakura had come to terms with her inappropriate school-girl crush. When they first started to work together things had been strained. She had always been used to having to hold her own and work off of her own merit. Having been on a team with both Naruto and Sasuke, who had both had better things to do than look after her, she had learned to take care of herself. So, when she found out that Tiger was supposed to do her fighting for her, well, she had been positively livid. She had not wanted to have to rely on a man to fight her battles.

Eventually, through training together and missions she had grown to really admire the man and she had developed quite the fantasy. She loved the way his body moved when he fought, how well their styles worked together, and how easy and comfortable their relationship now was after two long years.

Her admiration only became a full-blown crush when they got ambushed on their way back from a mission. Fighting together, back-to-back, had been an inspiring experience. Healing Tiger afterwards had been strangely intimate, like no other healing she had ever done. Now, whenever Tiger had to fight, inwardly Sakura swooned because she knew he was fighting for her.

“Yes,” she groaned through her teeth. Tiger just gave her a look and his lip twitched up slightly to tell her he was holding back a grin. Sighing she continued, “Let’s just go…”

She could never tell him how she felt. Though relationships between partners and other ANBU members were discouraged, they weren’t forbidden. It was quite common, in fact, for partners to find comfort in each other during dangerous stressful times. But a true relationship, she could never have that with him. It was forbidden to tell another ANBU your true identity and though she trusted him with her life, she could never become involved with someone else without knowing who they really were.

Together they made their way to the main road and approached the compound like regular civilians. Even though it was almost midnight, the fact that they were coming now was not unusual. Hookers were, after-all, night-time workers, so this sort of arrangement usually occurred around this time of night anyways.

“So, Asa…” Tiger started, glancing down at her while he stretched his arms behind his back, treading his fingers together, and resting them against his neck, “Where’d you get those new clothes?” He winked and gave her a sly smile.

She knew this was part of his character, but when he looked at her like that, she wished they could ditch the mission and go find a tree to break.

“My last client was very generous and made me promise to get a white nightie.” She said with false cheerfulness, twirling her hair in her finger and looking up at him through her lashes as they continued to walk down the path.

“White, huh?” He mused with his finger on his mouth, “I think red would look way better on you.”

Looking up at him, her gaze caught on his lips as he subconsciously wet them with his tongue. Catching herself she quickly looked away.

“Really? Why do you think that?” She asked fighting the blush that threatened to erupt across her face from the thoughts her mind had concocted about his sensual mouth.

“Red’s sexy you see…”

Reigning in her dirty mind she put on a teasing face and looked back up at him.

His eyes shinned with a playful glitter and his smile grew even wider as she pouted, “I thought I was already sexy Hiro. Don’t you think so?”

For as long as she could remember they had played this flirtatious game. Yet, she could never tell if it was just part of the character for him or if he was really flirting with her.

Humming Tiger looked up at the canopy of trees above them, eyes lost in thought. “You know what.” He murmured at last, his voice flat, all playfulness gone, “I don’t think I would want anyone to see you in red.”

Her stomach fluttered at the implications of his words. Speechless, she could only stare at him and wonder if he truly meant that.

When he looked back down moments later his face was once again bright with a teasing smile, “I couldn’t keep them off you otherwise!”

Ignoring his momentary lapse, she smiled brightly and blushed. “You’re too kind.” Before he had the chance to reply she continued, “Oh look,” she declared, looking for an excuse to change the subject, “There’s the house! Ooo… It’s so big.”

Nodding in agreement they settled into a comfortable silence the rest of the way to the compound.

As they approached the entrance Tiger spoke once more, “Looks like we’re almost there Asa, are you ready?” His tone was cheerful, but she could see the underlying question.

“Yes.” Though she hated this aspect of the mission, it wasn’t something new. She was ready.

Right before they reached the front of the compound, she re-adjusted her robe allowing it to peak open slightly. She fixed her medium-sized breasts to the point where they were pushed up so high, she felt they might spill out if she moved too quickly. Softening her facial features Sakura put on the sultriest pout she could muster and looked over at Tiger. Winking at him she couldn’t help but sigh inwardly as he blushed.

This was another reason she would never tell her old team what she did in ANBU. If they knew what she had to do sometimes to get to her target, they wouldn’t look at her the same. For all their heroics both Naruto and Sasuke were painfully uneducated in the darker aspects of being a female shinobi. She had always known that she might have to utilize her feminine charm, but it wasn’t until she joined ANBU that she realized how important seduction was in the shadow world, for both men and women.

As they reached the front door, one of the four guards stationed at the compound entrance called out, “State your business!”

“Hello, I’m here to see Jun. I have a gift for his son,” Tiger said while he gestured to Sakura with a beaming smile on his face, “one of my best.” She gave the guards a sly smile and winked.

Grinning widely the same guard replied quickly, “Alright, follow me.”

The other guards plainly leered at her while they went through the door. Sakura tried not to hiss in disgust as one of them reached out and slapped her ass as she walked by.

The guard lead them down the main hall and into a large open room, where no doubt the Crime Lord held his business meetings. Jun sat in a chair at the end of a large table and looked up from the papers he was reading when they came in. When his gaze fell upon Sakura he smirked wickedly and stood up to great them.

“Welcome, welcome. Now where does this beauty hail from?” He asked Tiger while still looking at her. She took the opportunity to lazily brush her hair back from her face and give him her best sultry gaze. Hopefully, that would ease any hesitancy he held for them.

“I own the new high-end brothel in Keishi,” Tiger answered, “I wanted to pay my respects to your son’s 20th birthday by offering my very best. Free of charge of course.”

Jun smiled and clapped his hands together. “Great! I know Yasuo will be quite happy with this beauty.”

Sakura wanted to cry in frustration. After all that trouble she went through trying to get into the young Lord’s room, the Crime Lord didn’t even bat a lash at the unexpected prostitute. He didn’t even ask to see credentials or proof of who they were. She had come to expect a little more from this Crime Lord and was vaguely disappointed.

Yasuo was wanted for raping and murdering a young merchant’s daughter in Konoha. Her father had paid them handsomely for this revenge. Since Yasuo’s father was a Crime Lord however, it had to be done discretely and look natural. Konoha did not want to attract the attention of one of the five major Crime Lords in the Elemental Nations. Which is why she was here.

“Yuko,” Jun called out to the guard who’d escorted them here, “Will you bring this lovely young lady to Yasuo’s room. In the meantime, would you like something to drink?” He directed his last statement to Tiger who had pushed her in the guard’s direction.

“Yes please, some tea would be nice.” Tiger answered, then he turned to her, “Go on now, I’ll be here when you’re done.” He gave her a wink and a kiss to her cheek before he let her go. His lips lingering for a second longer then necessary and leaving her burning. I’ll be close by if you need me, his eyes silently told her.

“Yes master,” She answered, I know. She gave them a flirty bow before following after the guard.

Yuko lead her to the door she had been scouting earlier and nodded to the two guards that were stationed there. They both gave her wide knowing smiles, eyes twinkling, as she sauntered towards the room. Playing her part, she smiled back at them, letting her sultry gaze lightly look them over. With one last teasing glance over her shoulder she walked through the door.

Yasuo was lounging on a couch in the corner of the large room. The minute she walked in she felt the heat of his gaze roam her body unabashedly.

Giving him a sweet smile Sakura slowly walked towards where he was sitting, letting her hips move gracefully from side to side. She crossed her hands behind her back and pushed her chest out. She knew that caught his attention because she saw his eyes flutter back up to her breasts while he looked her over appreciatively.

“Wow aren’t you a pretty thing.” He grinned, “What’s your name sweetheart?”

His lips were thin and when he smiled, they appeared almost non-existent. Examining him she noticed that his teeth were straight but slightly yellow with a small chip on the left front tooth. His eyes were a dark brown and looked too small for his large head. His only redeeming quality was his hair, it was dark like midnight and fell around his face in thick waves.

“You may call me Asa, young Lord.” She bowed demurely. Men who took part in rape often enjoyed their women weak and powerless.

“And you may call me Master for the time we have together.” He warned, his chipped tooth looking out of place in his strangely soft smile.

She bowed again, even lower this time, “Yes master.”

He beckoned her with his finger, “Come closer Asa let me have a look at you.

She came and stood right in front of him while he leaned back on the couch. His eyes roamed her body and she could tell he liked what he saw. His eyes darkened with lust as he gazed upon her barely covered breasts.

“You like what you see, master?” She breathed while her hand went to the knot keeping her robe together. “Would you like to see more?” She asked quietly keeping her voice low and breathy. Sakura knew men loved to hear when women were aroused, and it was easy enough to learn how to fake.

“Fuck yes.” He answered quickly, “You’re the hottest hooker I’ve had in a while, take off those clothes.” His voice was breathy, yet screechy, as though she could still hear the higher than normal pitch his voice naturally took.

She slowly undid the knot and let the robe slip off her figure leaving her standing there in front of him in only her nightie. Her nipples hardened suddenly from the chill of the room. Yasuo’s gaze immediately slid to them, while his smile only grew.

She crawled onto his lap laid her hands on his shoulders while her thighs went to both sides of his body. Without asking for permission she started to rub slow sensual circles onto his chest. Meanwhile her chakra slowly seeped into his body. One thread she sent up to his brain to increase the amount of dopamine produced, making him feel pleasure unlike any he’s ever felt. She could feel the result of that poking her in her inner thigh as his breath started to come out faster in heavy pants.

“Oh yeah…” He sighed. “That’s it…” Her hands had shifted downwards to hook the hem of his shirt and he let her pull it right off of his head.

Her hands immediately returned to his chest and began the journey downwards. Sakura then sent another chakra thread to his heart forcing it to beat faster, and faster, and faster.

“Fuck-fuck-fuck” He groaned out, as she reached the hem of his pants. “How…does… this… feel… so… good?” He heaved between pants.

“I’m really good at my job.” She whispered into his ear and gave him some small kisses on his neck to keep up the ruse. The smell of sweat and booze filled her nostrils and she almost gagged in disgust. As her chakra continued to pump his heart faster, her hands slipped into his pants and she began to rub the hard bulge.

“Fuck, yeah.” His voice was raspy, coming out of his throat almost high pitched. Her chakra thread increased his dopamine production even more as his heart was now beating unnaturally fast and she didn’t want to risk him noticing something was wrong.

As his heart reach critical level and he could barely breathe he tried to get her to stop her ministrations. “Get… off…” He eventually managed to say. “… need… break.”

“Is something wrong?” Sakura asked with fake concern. She stopped rubbing him but only moved her hands back up to his chest and increased his heart even more… She was almost there, just around 30 seconds more… 25…

“Yes” He managed to say just barely a whisper. His face was becoming red, and his mouth was hanging open in an attempt to suck in air. She doubted he would be able to speak again, time to get the witnesses.

“GUARDS!” Sakura shouted, “Something’s wrong with Yasuo!”

She kept her hands on his chest to keep the chakra going, just in case, but this time instead of sensual circles she began making gestures of concern. 10…

The guards burst into the door as she shook him, making sure to keep her hands connected.

Sakura glanced back at them, her expression frantic, “I think he’s having a heart attack!” She choked out as they rushed over to the couch.

Yasuo’s eyes were bugged wide and he was barely breathing. His face had turned a dark shade of red and he was no longer able to hold himself up.

“Help him please!” She begged with her hands still on his chest as his head rolled back. 5�� 4… 3…

“Move back girl, we got it!” The tall guard barked at her when they finally got to the couch.

1…

She gave his heart one final squeeze for insurance and then let go of his chest and scrambled away from the man, allowing the two guards to shove her behind them.

“He’s dying!” She wailed, “Do something!” her voice cracked as she started to force tears into her eyes.

Sakura could see his chest barely moving. His lids were still open, and the whites of his eyes were strangely bright in the dim room. Her fake tears were flowing easily down her face now as she continued to shout at them to do something, to save him.

“Get her out of here!” The tall guard commanded to the other, “Bring her back to her Master, he’s in the office with Jun… And get Jun while you’re at!”

The second guard turned away from the couch grabbed her by her arm. As soon as he got a hold of her, she leaned up against him and started to nuzzle her face in his shoulder for comfort. He smelt strongly like tobacco, but Sakura forced herself to remain in his arms as he dragged her out of the room.

Just as they were about to walk through the doorway, she glanced back up beneath her tear-filled eyes to see that Yasuo’s heart had stopped beating and the guard had started compressions. She allowed herself to smile faintly into the chest of the guard, her job was done. He was dead.

Sakura continued to sniffle and lean heavily against the man as he hustled her quickly back down the hall towards the main room.

“What’s wrong?” Jun asked, when the guard burst into the room with her in tow.

“Yasuo is having a heart attack! Come quick!”

Jun visibly palled and took a look at her all red-eyed and snotty. His gaze quickly went back to the guard, dismissing her.

Jun came strutting forwards and placed his hands aggressively on the man’s shoulders. He shook them roughly, angrily, “Tell me what happened.” He commanded.

Jun’s face was ghostly pale, and his lips were pulled tightly together, but it was his eyes that scared her. They were cold, dark, and emotionless, but oh so very calculating. He seemed to be already trying to deduce how this could have happened to his young and healthy son.

Shit, he was smart, they needed to get out of here or risk getting caught by him.

“Along the way, we have to go.” The guard stammered, “He might not have much time.”

Perfect.

Jun looked at them briefly, slightly undecided about what he wanted to do. Shaking his head, he shouted at one of the nearby guards to escort them off the property before he promptly disappeared out the door.

As soon as the Crime Lord was gone Tiger raced towards her and she slumped into his arms crying.

“Are you alright?” He whispered into her ear; his voice full of concern. She only sobbed harder. His strong arms tightened around her, to hold her closer, and she wished that this wasn’t a part of their act and that he could hold her like this for real.

As a guard lead them back out the compound Tiger murmured softly in her ear sweet little words of comfort. She clutched him and didn’t let go until they took a sharp turn on the main road and the house faded into the distance. She almost sighed in disappointment when they reached a safe distance from the house and she had to untangle herself from him.

The walk back to their bags was spent in comfortable silence. It was only when a small breeze broke through the trees that she realized in all the ruckus she’d forgotten her robe. It seemed Tiger had noticed too because he peeled off his own jacket and gave it to her without a word. She’d mumbled a thanks and they continued on their way.

When they were walking Tiger always walked slightly ahead of her and she took the opportunity to study him mask-less. He really was handsome. Strong jawline, narrow sharp nose, full lips and beautiful eyes. His green eyes reminded her of her own natural green eyes. They were probably contact lenses, but she’d always loved it when men had beautiful eyes.

“So, I wanted to talk to you about something…” Tiger began awkwardly. He was scratching his neck the same way Naruto did whenever he was uncomfortable.

“Mmm?” She mumbled absentmindedly.

It was curious, Tiger was almost never uncomfortable. In all their time together, he always seemed so sure of himself. She admired that about him. His posture was always confident, his face never betrayed any unnecessary emotions and whenever he fought for her, fuck he was amazing.

Since hiding your identity is so important in ANBU, whenever they got into fights, they always used basic skills, there hadn’t been a time yet where they’d had to resort to their unique abilities. But what she had seen from Tigers fighting, well, he was an animal. It’s why even though all her missions were dangerous she almost never felt at risk knowing he had her back. Theirs had grown into a true partnership.

“This is probably going to be my last ANBU mission.”

Her heart skipped a beat at those words. Her mouth opened and closed like an awkward fish. Her mind was blank, she didn’t know what to say.

Before the silence turned uncomfortable Sakura forced herself to speak, “Are you retiring? You’re not that old yet!” She laughed, awkwardly trying to keep the inner turmoil out of her voice.

They never talked about their feelings or how much they depended on one another or how much she had grown to look forwards to their missions just so she could spend some time with him. She knew he cared for her and he knew she cared for him, but it was something they never discussed. It was subconscious, barely detectable beneath their regular banter. It had only been glaring that one time she had healed him after the ambush, and yet neither of them had mentioned it.

“Yeah, well… I got a promotion and… I’m going to need to be full-time visible in the village now.”

Woah, who was Tiger?

“What do you mean? What kind of job needs full time village visibility?” She asked, dumbfound.

“I wish I could tell you Falcon,” He sighed, running his hands through his thick hair, “I really do. But it’s highly classified right now, so I can’t say anything.”

“Oh.” She honestly didn’t know what else to say.

“I just wanted to tell you, give you a heads up you know, so next mission when you show up expecting this hottie you won’t be too disappointed to find my replacement.” He grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

Next mission? Was she even going to continue without him?

Sakura had always thought that they were in it together, for the long run. She’d assumed that they would both retire at the same time because neither of them would be able to continue without the other.

Maybe she had imagined all of it, including his feelings for her. “Right.”

It was in that moment that they reached their bags. She gave him back his jacket before stripping down into the nude to change back into her ANBU armour. Just as she was pulling on her mesh undershirt, she felt his hand on her arm.

“Falcon.” She turned her head towards him and looked up into his deep beautiful eyes. “I am sorry. I would stay if I could, but I have no choice. This promotion, it’s been my dream for as long as I can remember and well, I can’t do both.” The sad smile he gave her honestly broke her heart.

She covered his hand with hers and spun to completely face him. “I know, I’m sorry.” She hesitated before continuing, “You were my first partner, and we’ve never talked about this kind of stuff before but, you make me feel safe. Even when you were a mile away, I always knew I could count on you to protect me. You’ve taught me so much since I’ve joined ANBU, things that have saved my life. You’ve saved my life! All I’m trying to say is, I’ll miss you. But if this promotion really has been your dream then, I am truly happy for you.” She smiled up at him.

When her eyes met his she almost gasped in surprise. His gaze was intense, it was the kind she saw in his eyes when he got serious in his fights. Seconds later, it was gone, and it made her wonder if she’d even seen it in the first place.

“You’re such a girl Falcon!” He smiled down at her contently. “But truly, thank you for that heartfelt moment, even if it’s going to make leaving you harder.” He winked, then turned away to finish his own transformation back into ANBU.

When they were both dressed and ready to go they leapt up into the trees and began the long journey back to the village. They ran in comfortable silence, as was protocol, only stopping twice for water and food. They were outside the village gates by noon the next day.

Opting to use one of the specially hidden underground ANBU entrances they avoided the shinobi on guard and followed to tunnel straight for ANBU headquarters. Once inside the compound they reported in to the current ANBU in charge and gave their verbal description of the mission. Two hours later after repeating the events three separate times to ensure their accuracy and reliability they were dismissed.

As they headed to the locker rooms Sakura’s mind was running wild. She so desperately wanted to come up with something to say to force him to see her, to make him rethink abandoning her. Yet she knew there was nothing she could say that would be enough.

She knew him, even if she didn’t know his name or what he really looked like she knew him on the inside. The way he spoke about that promotion, she knew that there was nothing she could say that would ever change his mind.

When they finally reached the split off for the men and women’s locker room, she hesitated.

“I-” “Ju-” They both tried to speak at once.

Chuckling lightly Tiger continued first, “I had a great time, thank you for making these past two years not unbearable.” She wished he didn’t have his mask on, because she was dying to see his face one more time.

“No, problem,” She said, smiling faintly, “and… uh… good luck out there.”

“Thanks. I guess.” He shrugged. It looked like he wanted to say more but stayed quiet. They stared at each other, unsure of what more to say or do.

Theirs had been a perfect partnership. His fighting style had complemented hers like no other, his quiet rage had been the perfect match for her fiery temper. He had treated her with respect and admiration based on nothing but her skill, something she had never experienced before, and it was now coming to an end.

“Well… bye then” she finally mumbled and turned towards the women’s locker room.

She didn’t want to stand there like a love-sick girl waiting for him to give her a hint. Waiting for him to make the first move. She was sick of it, maybe their parting was for the better. This way she could forget about him and try to move on. Maybe she would retire from ANBU too, leave all of this behind.

Just as she was past the door and heading down the hall she froze at the sound of his soft voice as he whispered to himself, just barely loud enough for her to hear.

“I’ll miss you too, my falcon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

MY falcon, MY falcon?! What the hell did he mean by my falcon?

Sakura was sitting on the bench in the dimly light women’s locker room with her hands glued to her forehead. What Tiger had said had confused the crap out of her. She didn’t know what to think.

Was this the hint she had been waiting for?

She reached to the side and grabbed her Falcon mask peering deeply into it hoping it would give her the answer.

When she’d heard those words come out of his mouth she had frozen in shock. Scared that he knew she’d heard him, she stayed in place, standing smack in the middle of the hall, until she was sure he was gone. When she finally made her way into the locker-room her mind had been reeling.

He didn’t know she’d heard, maybe this was his way of saying goodbye. A weird way of saying goodbye, my falcon sounded extremely possessive, not something she’d expect to hear from someone abandoning her.

Is this how he’d always seen their relationship?

At that thought her heart fluttered, she also saw herself as being his falcon, just like he was hertiger. She didn’t want to work with anyone else. She didn’t want anyone else, period.

Did he want her too?

Frustratingly she threw the mask back onto the bench and rubbed her now contactless eyes. After getting up off the bench, she crossed the narrow room to look into one of the many mirrors at her dishevelled appearance.

Her still blond hair was lightly tangled with small kinks in it from when it had been in a bun on the back of her head. Her emerald green eyes shined with moisture from frustration and dry contact lenses. She reached into the sink in front of her and splashed some water onto her face.

She didn’t know what to do. Go back to him and demand answers or stay in the dark… forever?

She looked back up into the mirror and wondered. She didn’t know who he was, if he left today, she would never find out the truth and she would always be left wondering why she hadn’t taken the risk. They had been tip-toeing around their feelings ever since that ambush and frankly she was sick of it. She needed to know, and this was the best opportunity she was ever going to get and if he turned her down, she didn’t have to see him again.

With one last determined look in the mirror she spun around and stalked back out of the women’s locker room.

Tiger had his back turned to her when she entered the empty room. He was standing in front of a locker rummaging through a navy bag. Before she lost her nerve, she closed the space between them and grabbed his arm to spin him around.

Instead, she found herself trapped between a cold hard locker and a muscular warm body with a kunai pressing against her throat.

“Falcon?” He stared down at her startled face, dumfound. “What the hell!?” The grip on the kunai loosened and it clattered to the floor.

“I need to know.” She inhaled slightly and the smell of him filled her; lemongrass and blue cypress.

“Know what?” His expression was soft, almost expectant.

She took a deep breath and enjoyed the feel of his body still pressed against hers one last time before she opened her mouth to change everything.

“This.” And before he could do anything to stop her, she softly pressed her lips to his.

His reaction was instantaneous. His lips parted alongside hers and she felt as though she was taking a breath of fresh air for the first time. He met her stroke for stroke, his passion matched hers. It was like finally knowing what had been missing in her life and finding it. Finding it in him.

All of him, he was intoxicating, and he was everywhere. His fingers tangled themselves in her hair as he pressed her harder against the locker. Her hands clenched tightly around his neck as she tried to get closer to him. His tongue in her mouth added fuel to the burning fire that had erupted in her lower stomach.

“I didn’t…” She finally trembled when he paused for a breath. “I mean, I-”

He interrupted her, his voice deep, husky and so unbelievably sexy, “Do you want this?” He groaned.

His dark eyes searched her own for hesitation. His expression almost soft, like he didn’t want to scare her away. Like he was afraid of what had just happened and what could happen. But she was not afraid, she had wanted this for so long, he had changed her life. This one time she would allow herself to live her fantasy.

Yes, she silently told him, her skin shivered from the promise of pleasure as he reached out and trailed a finger up her neck to lift her face towards his.

Please.

This time he kissed her deep and passionately. His tongue sending waves of pleasure through her body as he thoroughly took her mouth. His hands roamed her, dipping down to her stomach and back up to massage her breasts. It took all she had to remain upright as he brushed his thumb over her clothed breast, releasing a small moan from her mouth. His presence was irresistible, enveloping her and she somehow felt deep in her soul how utterly right this was.

He made quick work of her shirt pulling it up off her head with speed she only saw when they sparred. She had no such tact and promptly ripped his shirt.

His laugh was hoarse as he kissed her again while she tried to unbutton his pants. His hands kept distracting her as he lightly trailed his fingers up and down the sides of her naked chest sending shivers up and down her body.

His voice was low, and beautifully seductive when he finally asked her, “Do you want to just rip those too?”

Instead of answering she dropped down onto her knees and quickly undid his pants.

The sound that left his throat when she took him in her mouth was indescribable, and she knew she would do anything just to hear it again. He tasted like salty like an ocean breeze, and she loved it. In fact, she couldn’t get enough of it. Every time she took him all the way she could feel his hands tightening in her hair, and she swore she heard him sigh.

“As much as I love to see you on your knees,” He finally ground out between clenched teeth. He pulled her up and pressed her back against the locker. His fingers hooking themselves inside the hem of her pants. He leaned into her and trailed heated kisses up her neck until finally he whispered in her ear, “That’s not all I want to do with to you.” And then promptly ripped her own pants off, leaving her in her underwear.

Seconds later his body was pressing hotly against hers and his fingers were rubbing circles around her breasts. He was watching her reaction as he slowly passed a thumb over her and she just about shuddered in pleasure. His eyes gleamed erotically as he leaned down to take it in his mouth never breaking eye contact with her. She writhed in pleasure, needing to relieve the growing pressure between her thighs.

“I-” she breathed. “Please!” she suddenly cried out as he flicked her with his finger while he lightly bit her other breast.

He looked up at her with hooded eyes, full of desire and finally bucked his hips against hers. She moaned loudly from the contact and he finally let go of her breasts. Positioning his hips against hers he began to grind slowly against her.

“Fuck!” He moaned into her mouth. His tongue tangling itself in her own. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” He growled into her ear as he began to trail his tongue along her neck biting and sucking at her skin, leaving behind a trail of pink and red spots.

She needed more of him and he seemed to be in agreement because as she began to press her hips harder against him, his hands reached behind her to grab a hold of her ass and hoist her up.

He laid her down on the bench and glanced up into her hazy eyes with the biggest smirk on his face. His fingers trailed the insides of her legs and pushed them apart as he began to lay fiery kisses up, and up and up, until the only thing separating his mouth from her skin was the thin lace from her underwear.

Her brain was mush, so heightened from the intensity and passion of their actions that she barely noticed him slide her panties down off her body. It was only when he reached down and gave her a nice long kiss that she understood. She bucked forwards, her mouth falling open in a loud moan as he began to suck and rub her with his tongue.

She was half dazed when she heard him groan into her, “You taste so good.”

Then his mouth left her, and he pulled her up into a sitting position on bench. He was kneeling down in front of her and his arm snaked back to grab the back of her head as he pulled her into a passionate open-mouthed kiss. “You taste good everywhere.”

His words sent shudders down her body and she realized that she’d never wanted anyone as bad as she wanted him in that moment.

She told him just as much, her own voice low and breathy from arousal, “I want you.” She kissed him fiercely and urged him up to a standing position. “Now.”

At her words his gaze darkened even more, and he yanked her up off the bench and lifted her up into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his hips and he backed them up until her back was once again against the lockers.

In one fluid motion, he shifted his hips and plunged fully into her. As he settled deeply inside, she heard that beautiful sound once more. Almost between a moan, a groan and a growl, she knew he was holding back. Like with his fighting it was in that sound that she knew he fucked like an animal.

He began slowly, almost sweetly, as he placed kisses upon kisses across her face, neck, and chest. But she wanted more. She wanted him, not this toned-down version. She wanted him wild and free.

“More.” She breathed against his lips. “I want more.”

She grabbed his face and pulled it back away from her, so she could gaze upon him fully. He stopped moving his hips and looked at her expectantly. “I want you.”

This time he understood, something akin to red flashed in his eyes and his whole demeanor changed into something much more familiar.

He grinned wickedly, and she swore she saw long canines that weren’t there before appear in his mouth. He nuzzled her neck letting his teeth drag softly against her skin. His voice husky, “I’ve been waiting for you to say that.” And then his teeth broke her skin at the exact moment that he decided to start to move inside her again and she screamed in the perfect mixture of pleasure and pain.

This time his love-making was rough, animalistic and exactly what Sakura had been hoping for. He ground into her deeply, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in. His hands supporting her butt clenched her tightly, through the haze of pleasure she wondered if she felt his nails digging into her, breaking the skin. But his mouth was what held most of her attention, his kisses were now frenzied, his teeth had broken the inside of her lip and as he fucked her senseless, he managed to lick the blood off like it was the most delicious popsicle.

“You feel so good” He growled into her ear.

Her arms were wrapped around his neck and her head had fallen back to lean against the locker as he began to suck on her breasts once more. With this change in position she felt him hit her deeper still and her breath shuddered as she moaned.

The combined action of his teeth grazing her and him inside, exactly so that he hit that sweet spot, began to shift her closer and closer to pure bliss. She knew he was looking up at her from under his lashes while he played her breasts, and his expression aroused her even more, if that was possible. When moved his mouth away she almost growled in protest.

“I want to see you” was all he said as he readjusted his position, so he could hold her up with one arm as the other snaked forwards to rub her between her thighs.

She closed her eyes from the intensity of the sensation.

He was amazing, he was nothing she had ever experienced before. He stood on his own, apart from everyone else. As he brought her closer and closer to the edge, she felt something stir deep inside her that told her, this man, he was made for her.

His breath, as he panted above her, she loved.

His arms as he held her up securely, she loved.

His lips that kissed her so tenderly and so viciously at the same time, she loved.

It had been a long time coming but somewhere deep in her brain she knew she loved him, regardless of whatever his name was, regardless of who he was outside these walls. As she reached that peak and clenched around him, she also knew that this would be the only time.

He leaned his forehead against hers as they both came back down from a high so unimaginable, she couldn’t describe it. His soft breath was coming out in quick pants above her lips. His eyes were closed while she studied his face, memorizing it. His brown hair was plastered to his forehead and neck was slick with sweat and yet she didn’t find it unappealing. His arms still held her up and her legs were still wrapped around his thighs. He was still inside her and she was in no rush to disconnect.

After a long moment he set her back down on the ground, steadying her as she struggled to regain her footing. He looked her deep in the eyes and said the words they both knew were true, “This can’t happen again.”

“I know.” She agreed. “I know.”

He leaned down and kissed her once more. His lips soft and swollen gently moving against her own, saying goodbye. His tongue lightly trailed along inside of her mouth as they both poured everything into this last kiss.

When they finally broke apart, she turned away first moving to put her underwear and shirt back on. As she made her way back down the locker-room and towards the door, she turned back towards him one last time.

He was watching her, his eyes sad and his expression grim. But something about his face registered within her for the first time since she had come rushing into the locker-room. She gave him a wide smile as she turned away and walked out the door almost skipping as she thought happily,

Tiger’s real eyes are blue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the men’s locker-room Naruto sat down on the bench after just watching his favourite person walk out the door for the last time. But he wasn’t all disappointed because as she had looked back at him that last time and smiled such a beautiful smile, he’d realized that he’d completely missed something about her appearance from when she’d first walked in to confront him. He smiled wickedly to himself as he thought,

Falcon’s real eyes are green.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/11/2021 (Taylor Swift’s ‘Red’/”All Too Well”, Juice WRLD, Little Mix)

Adele spends a fifth week on top with “Easy on Me” to nobody’s surprise, and today will be a feat of brevity as I try to cover as many songs in as much depth in as little time possible. There are around 13 new songs – of drastically varying quality and origin – thanks in only small part to Silk Sonic and Taylor Swift, who made a lot less impact than you’d think, honestly. Regardless, they bought a whole posse of hits with them. I’ve had a long week – and this may end up being a long episode. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars and Christmas, all in one week. Turns out that combination creates a lot of movement, particularly in our notable drop-outs, songs leaving the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. Many of our debuts from last week’s album impacts are gone, including two Summer Walker songs and all of ABBA’s, including “I Still Have Faith in You” and “Don’t Shut Me Down”. Neither lasted more than six weeks. We also say goodbye to “MONEY” by LISA, “You Right” by Doja Cat and The Weeknd, “I DON’T WANT YOU” by Riton and RAYE, “Bad Day” by Justus Bennetts, “Way 2 Sexy” by Drake, Future and Young Thug, “Chosen” by Blxst and Tyga featuring Ty Dolla $ign, “Clash” by Dave featuring Stormzy and finally, “Higher Power” by Coldplay. From the looks of it, it seems like we’re cleaning the dreck off of the charts that has really already served its purpose or wasn’t going anywhere.

Now accompanying these losses are our notable losses still within the chart, songs dropping at least five spots from their position on last week’s chart. Let’s list songs and numbers! This week, we have “My Universe” by Coldplay and BTS at #17, “Better Days” by Dermot Kennedy at #23, “STAY” by The Kid LAROI & Justin Bieber at #27, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals getting ACR’d at #28 (thank God), “One Right Now” by Post Malone and The Weeknd off of the debut at #29, “Moth to a Flame” by Swedish House Mafia and The Weeknd at #34 – with “Take My Breath” at #36 – and “No Competition” by D-Block Europe at #39 and that’s just the top 40. Elsewhere, we have “Red Light Green Light” by Digga D at #43, “Boyz” by Jesy Nelson featuring Nicki Minaj at #45, “Black Magic” by JONASU at #53, “Remember” by Becky Hill and David Guetta at #55, “good 4 u” by Olivia Rodrigo at #57, “No Love” by Summer Walker and SZA at #58, “One Night” by Griff at #62, “ESCAPE PLAN” by Travis Scott at #64 (“MAFIA” dropped out entirely), “Don’t Break the Heart” by Tom Grennan at #65, “Life Goes On” by Oliver Tree at #68, “The Motto” by Tiesto and Ava Max off of the debut at #70, “Love Tonight” by Shouse at #72, “Kiss My (Uh Oh)” by Anne-Marie and Little Mix at #73 and finally, Drake’s “Girls Want Girls” with Lil Baby at the bottom where it should be at #75.

Of course, there’s always the infinitely more interesting trend of songs making notable gains. Firstly, we have the Christmas entries: “Last Christmas” by WHAM! re-enters this week at #54 and “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey made a big gain to #44. Secondly, we have our routine gains, thanks to gaining traction rather than any specific event they’re tied to, like “Do it to It” by ACRAZE featuring Cherish at #24 and... not much else. Rather, we have the hype for Adele’s newest album bringing “Someone Like You” up to #67 and the impact of Silk Sonic’s release giving “Leave the Door Open” a healthy re-entry at #31 (probably helps that it’s the first real track) and “Smokin’ out the Window” gaining up to #12. I’m surprised it’s not top 10, but it is a competitive week. Finally, we have two of three new entries to the top 10 gaining from elsewhere on the chart thanks to mostly streaming and TikTok traction, those being the first top 10s for SwitchOTR as “Coming for You” with A1 x J1 is boosted to #10, and Sam Fender as “Seventeen Going Under” zooms to #9. That third new entry into the top 10 is one we’ll talk about later.

Oh, and “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd is at #69. It actually gained this week; let that sink in.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Acapulco” – Jason Derulo

Produced by Saltwives and Punctual

Seriously? We start off this list of 13 new arrivals from Jason bloody Derulo?! Ah, well, he’s been on this tropical schtick for nearly as long as he’s refused to release an album, since 2015, that is, so it’s no surprise that once again, he’s got a bouncy tropical house beat and he’s singing about savage love (excluding the laxed – siren beat this time around), this song in particular being about a girl that’s loco because she’s from Acapulco. You know, the deadliest city in Mexico, home to gang-related homicides and coastal paradise, so I guess the comparison to her emotions being “like a yo-yo” makes sense, yet isn’t any less tasteless just because the metaphor works. This track has one of those farty Eurodance bass synths acting as kind of a lead in the drop, which makes sense since it’s sampled from Spanish singer Alvaro Soler’s “El Mismo Sol”—wait, did he just compare his girlfriend to Bitcoin? The fact that Derulo is bringing cryptocurrency to the pop charts in the form of asinine sex songs referencing Dogecoin genuinely made me pause the song in shock once I heard that line. Then he continues to say that he’s rich besides this woman because she’s NOT coin-based, which means she ISN’T like Bitcoin and... I give up. Honestly, what the hell got us to this point? “El Mismo Sol” is a far superior song, for the record.

#66 – “Enemy” (from the series Arcane League of Legends) – Imagine Dragons and JID

Produced by Mattman & Robin

Are we playing 2020 Pop Mad-Libs this episode? This is Imagine Dragons’ second theme song for the League of Legends franchise, this one produced for their animated series Arcane featuring a verse from up-and-coming rapper JID. For what it’s worth, I’m glad JID is charting since whilst I haven’t heard a consistent album from him so far, he proves from feature to feature that he can rap his ass off and will without warning. He’s under J. Cole’s Dreamville imprint but the protégé surpassed the tutor pretty quickly, maybe not in terms of success but absolutely in terms of quality. An Imagine Dragons collaboration makes about as much sense as you’d think it does, though given Kendrick Lamar featured on the “Radioactive” remix, I guess it’s not that far outside of the band’s wheelhouse. Regardless, the song’s probably the band’s biggest hit in years, which surprises me because it is absurd, with a lot of wobbling video game sound effects, an eerie intro punctuated by horn stabs and Dan Reynolds sounding like he’s being suffocated by his own falsetto. Instead of going for a generic empowerment rock track, the song feels more like a wonky dubstep leftover, especially thanks to that fascinatingly anti-climactic drop, the incessant female vocal sample in the chorus and some of Reynolds’ funniest deliveries ever. Oh, and the post-chorus is basically sound collage. It’s like if future bass was lying to itself, featuring JID who gives off Masked Wolf vibes in his simultaneously intricate and completely sloppy verse. By the time we reach the second half of his verse, he rides pretty effortlessly with generic lyrics over those rising pianos... but of course, why have a full final chorus when we can have JID crash head-first into an Ableton panic attack mid-sentence instead? Once again, what the hell got us to this point? And why is this actually pretty good? At least League of Legends know their audience well enough to guess that half of them are scared of African-Americans, so they made a “solo mix” without JID for the more heated gamers out there.

#61 – “Bite Me” – Avril Lavigne

Produced by MOD SUN, Travis Barker and John Feldmann

The more I think about the pop-punk revival, the more I’m convinced it doesn’t actually exist and is just something that Travis Barker coughed up as an excuse to get his dirty drumsticks on anything he can find. With that said, at least it makes sense for Avril Lavigne to come back with pop-punk given that was her genre in the early 2000s, and she’s been making some pop-punk recently with WILLOW and MOD SUN, but people seem to forget that Lavigne’s early work was mostly manufactured Canadian pop rock that is catchy for sure, but didn’t have much of the bite that pop punk needs to really go off. That’s why it made all the more sense when she regressed to garbage dance-pop for practically a whole decade because really, that’s all her songs were in the first place, just in the 2000s post-grunge soundfont. This new song consists of Avril Lavigne trying to convince the listener that she is tough and badass using the word “wifey”. The riff is basic but would work as a good foundation for a better song that knows what to do with it, but with as abrupt and janky a chorus as this, I don’t really see where she was going with it. It feels like that chorus should be a crushing New Found Glory-esque anthem but it’s just Lavigne yelling her unsent texts to Chad Kroeger for a couple seconds. It feels immature, which would be fine but I at least expect some development and maturation in the songwriting from Avril at this point, especially since it was clear on parts of her last record that the jigsaw was forming. Hopefully this lead-off single doesn’t truly show off what is to come, because I think I’d rather just re-listen to Tonight Alive’s back catalogue if I wanted more than a taste of this brand of heavy female-fronted power pop. Oh, and Marshmello is a credited songwriter because we’re still playing Mad-Libs with the singles chart.

#59 – “Cut You Off” – Little Mix

Produced by LOSTBOY

According to the trio, this song felt like therapy to write and record. Subtlety is a dead language, and no better is that displayed through Little Mix’s new single from a greatest hits album with so many deluxe editions that it probably warrants an “& Knuckles” at some point. The song is essentially about how this person can’t be upset for Little Mix cutting them off because they gave them so many reasons to do so. Lyrical content aside – as they decide to call themselves “triggered” – the vocal mixing is really rough and does not mesh with the messy, rapid percussion and an instrumental so compressed that it feels like it deserves an explosion... yet we only get a vague drop with a sword slicing sound effect. There’s so much compression on the mix here, it’s genuinely kind of hard to listen to with all the synths and strings in the chorus yet the vocals are still on top of everything. Just a bizarre track from what I only assume is a final album session that never happened thanks to certain girlz and “Boyz”.

#52 – “feel like shit” – Tate McRae

Produced by Jasper Harris and Russ Chell

Well, I can’t say it’s not relatable, though Ms. McRae, please refrain from the profanity. After all, this is a family show, as will be further demonstrated when we get into gangsta-rap and drug overdoses later on into the episode. It’s almost rude to expect anything but mediocrity from young Canadian singer Tate McRae, though I’d argue it’s mostly not her fault considering that her whole career has screamed “record label” rather than “pop singer”. If we’re playing along, though, this is just her raspy, non-descript voice singing about a break-up over stock percussion, vaguely atmospheric pianos and loops that feel so generic, with the most interesting lyric being the fact that Tate McRae seems to use this odd metaphor about depression being the state of being trapped inside your own lungs, which gets points for creativity, I suppose. It’s unfortunate that everything around it is so empty, because I don’t actually mind the lyrical detail and vaguely emo guitar in this, but production-wise, it’s so slow and uninteresting that it can’t win me over.

#49 – “Fly as Me” – Silk Sonic

Produced by D’Mile and Bruno Mars

Thanks to the three-song rule, this is our only Silk Sonic song and you might be surprised to find that the collaborative album between this soulful duo of Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak only debuted at #9. In reality, they sold just as well as they would have in any other week, yet faced a stiff release date that led priority to Damon Albarn, Rod Stewart, Little Mix and especially Taylor Swift – more on her later. It’s a shame, though, because the album is one of the best of the year that despite its clearly mixed-to-perfection production style, never feels sterile or that it’s redoing something already done better before it. It’s full of perfect pop songs, funky grooves and dreamy ballads all of which have this .Paak charm to them to assist the quiet storm of Bruno’s delivery and songwriting chops. An Evening with Silk Sonic rarely falters, with “Fly as Me” being one of the best examples of the album’s ability to try new things within its already existent and well-practiced framework. I was worried that Bruno wouldn’t let .Paak rap on this album, but Andy is absolutely flowing over the instrumental indebted to 70s funk, with his playful charisma oozing with swagger over this classy bassline, wonderful string and brass ensemble, and some of the punchiest drumming I’ve heard in pop music this decade. I would say the chorus drags a tad if it weren’t so catchy – in the “I want to punch the singer in the face” kind of catchy – as the harmonies are impeccable, which is really great when set in balance with the jankier flow of .Paak’s second verse. Okay, so the “class in session” bridge where he spells out the word “fly” might be a bit tacky but I refuse to believe there’s a more jovial way of hitting the song’s climax. This is an excellent song from an excellent album that I’m kind of bummed isn’t bringing more hits, though it is just the first week so time will tell.

#47 – “Bad Man (Smooth Criminal)” – Polo G

Produced by J. White Did It, Rance, Travis Sayles and Khaled Rohaim

Speaking of smooth, here’s Chicago rapper Polo G debuting lower than I’d have expected with his sample flip of the Michael Jackson classic, “Smooth Criminal”. Now this either goes two ways: it’s a horrible track that spits in the face of the original sample in a cynical and/or unimaginative manner, or it’s a hilarious interpretation of the original sample that can’t help but be enjoyed on the basis of it being really freaking stupid alone. To my surprise, he cleared the sample without butchering it, turning the iconic bassline to a heavy four on the floor house beat not too dissimilar to ghettotech and Detroit techno, and it honestly sounds fantastic with that chipmunk vocal sample and the racketing 808s. The refusal to be at peace at any point in this high-pace song is almost to its detriment, as whilst I’ll love the hardcore aggressive delivery with enough lyrical detail in his gang violence to make it really fascinating, the shift to a more melodic delivery is still insanely fast so it feels like the 2010s electropop backing is a few steps backwards compared to Polo. Really, that’s not that much of a complaint as it makes sure the song is constantly keeping you on your toes, even if it sounds like Polo G wants the song to end as quickly as it started, and given it’s not even two minutes, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the intention. The fact that the chorus ends with Polo doing CPR in Auto-Tune is more harrowing than it sounds, and the ludicrous energy of this song is just enough to make it enjoyable to me, though I really do NOT see it sticking around any further. If this is a lead single, I’d ask MJ’s estate for a refund because this is a lot less accessible than what was on Hall of Fame, yet a whole lot more interesting.

#40 – “abcdefu” – GAYLE

Produced by Pete Nappi

So we’re in the top 40 now and we start with what looks like keysmashing – it’s yet another of those angry TikTok songs for zoomers and their first break-ups that are way too cynical for their own good. It’s in the same vein as a “Bad Day” or a “Life Goes On” but ESPECIALLY “i hope ur miserable until ur dead”, as this song has just as much bile and anger, even if it does feel childish and petty. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as there’s an element of justification, however irrational, and for once, there actually is enough backstory here to make me side with GAYLE – even if personally I’d prefer she trade in some of the F-bombs for actual lyrical detail. Regardless, it seems like the relationship was taking a toll on both sides, as GAYLE lets some self-deprecation in as well to remind you that she’s also at fault, which is probably why the breakup is as frustrating as it is. This is one of few songs in this list of new arrivals with more versions of itself than it has any right to have. The original is a trap-inflected alt-pop dirge emulating Billie Eilish with weaker, more plastic-sounding electric guitar backing and an unnecessary sing-songy post-chorus that kind of goes nowhere but ultimately results in a relatively tolerable emo-rap song I’m not bothered by at all. She also decided to officially release the demo, which sounds a lot cleaner than an acoustic “bedroom” demo should so call me brash but I call BS on it being a “demo”. Additionally, there’s an “angrier” mix replacing the trap percussion for a chasm of distorted guitars and drums not actually played by Travis Barker. Honestly, it kind of kicks ass in this form and spits all over Avril Lavigne’s attempt at sounding as such so I do wish this version was the official original that was getting the most streams. On the other side of the spectrum, there’s a “chill” version, though that pretty much completely misses the point of the song existing in the first place. There’s also a remix with American indie pop singer Royal & the Serpent – which is a pain of a stage name – that just adds a crass guest verse and honestly doesn’t do much for me that the original or angrier version doesn’t already so once again, I don’t see the point in this co-existing. Despite not being a fan of some of the remixes, I can tell how this song would have gotten big in any of its many versions, so that’s something. Will the next song be any better?

#35 – “No” – Little Mix

Produced by Tré Jean-Marie and MNEK

Well, honesty IS the best policy. This is the panic-mode single they’re pushing for the greatest hits album, debuting at #4 on this week’s albums chart, and it’s about no longer being under control of some unknown force, which given the fact that this is ostensibly their retirement album, basically works as an analogy against their record label, more specifically their first record label, Syco, and Simon Cowell’s mismanagement of the girls. It’s better than “Cut You Off” mostly because the fast-paced cash-register percussion and twinkling keys are mixed somewhat competently and lead to a song that’s just okay and not nearly as powerful as I think it was trying to be. The Galantis remix is similarly useless and honestly, these last few songs feel like stalling between normalcy and Ms. Swift.

#25 – “Already Dead” – Juice WRLD

Produced by Nick Mira and DT

It’s pretty interesting to speculate where the money is really going for these posthumous releases. Regardless of who’s getting the cash, Juice’s estate and record label is still seeing the need to drip-feed fans full versions of leaks through official single releases on Spotify. This is from an upcoming posthumous project called Fighting Demons but was originally written and teased via a snippet in March 2018, and you can tell, mostly because of how simultaneously shallow and depressing it all seems. Lil Bibby, apparently after months of searching, rediscovered the track which conveniently has no flexing and instead has pretty haunting lyrics about his drug addiction over a melancholy piano backing. I can’t say it’s personally my thing, but the strain on Juice’s voice and the melodramatic lyrics about paranoia if anything show what should have done to help him before it came to his passing. It doesn’t even seem like Juice would have wanted this released – it didn’t make it on at least two albums, his vocals – and lyrics – sound like a first take where he flubs rhymes in the chorus and needs an artificially pitched up backing vocal and a looped, half-hearted “yeah, yeah” to be repeated to keep the verses from feeling empty. It’s a sad song, for sure, but I’m sorry, I can’t endorse this as an example of what should be done with the remnants of Juice’s art.

#22 – “Red” (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Christopher Rowe

I’ve always found Taylor Swift’s Red one of the most endearing of her albums. Sure, it’s kind of a bloated mess with no full ideas of where it wants to go or what it wants to be with itself, but that’s always been its charm, much like with Lover honestly. Red is an album that feels like it could have only been made in 2012 and has cemented its role in pop culture as a result of its monster hits, defining the popular music of 2012 and 2013. So, naturally, Taylor re-recorded the album nine years later as... revenge, I suppose. I’ll try and keep it brief with these Taylor Swift tracks, as we have three of them debuting, two of which are just bog-standard Taylor’s Version remakes. I did really enjoy the From the Vault tracks, much more so than those on Fearless, but we’ll get to one of those later. The self-titled track on the album – peaking at #26 in the UK and #6 in the US upon first release – has always been just okay, with an acoustic guitar tone that to me has never sounded great, and a decidedly unconvincing performance from Taylor, but once it kicks into gear with the driving pop rock that is probably – if anything could be – what Taylor generally sounded like in much of this era. I do have a soft spot for that hesitant bridge and its cathartic guitar solo, but the awkward post-chorus with the Auto-Tuned “red” stutter has never worked for me. So, how’s Taylor’s version? Well, the opening guitar tone sounds increasingly like it’s been replaced by a banjo, and we get much of the sandy percussion we know from indie-folk Taylor before a really flat chorus that whilst shows Taylor’s maturation as a performer, loses much of the charm of the original. It’s much more evident also when that post-chorus comes in, as whilst it was covered in part by the mix in the original, this new version just puts it straight in the centre, which makes even less sense given Taylor’s voice sounds a lot better in this version. Some of the electric guitars sound a lot better in this re-recording but I can’t say I think it’s ultimately an improvement over the original, rather just an alternate version that arguably weakens and cheapens that chorus whilst folkifying some of the overall presentation. Is “folkifying” even a word?

#18 – “State of Grace” (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Christopher Rowe

Given that this release was “for the fans”, I’m not shocked that the two tracks debuting here first are just the first two tracks on the album, this being the opener, but I did hope for the From the Vault track “I Bet You Think About Me” with Chris Stapleton to gain traction thanks to the video. Sadly, that excellent song isn’t debuting this week, but we do have two songs with more versions than they have reasons to have this many versions. The original “State of Grace”, peaking at #13 in the US and #36 in the UK upon release, is for all sakes and purposes, a U2 song, and a damn good one at that, with its anthemic college-rock production lending well to Taylor’s more youthful voice, though it does feel like in the original, there’s some strain and uncertainty to her delivery here, thankfully remedied by good double-tracking, a hefty dose of reverb and a crushing guitar tone that perfectly replicates the reckless tone set by the lyrics. With that said, it’s a bit of a slog at nearly five minutes and it’s hard to say that the final chorus really makes the climax worth it when the drum patterns feel unchanging and that they’re a constant military build-up rather than at any point releasing until the song’s over. As you could imagine, an arena-rock song doesn’t exactly translate well as an even longer acoustic version, whether in 2012 or 2021, though I do find the woodsier production of Taylor’s re-recording, as well as the additional layers of subtle harmony, a lot more appealing. Have Taylor and Rowe improved the original drastically through the 2021 re-recording? Well, no, it’s pretty much the same song played the very same way, but it does have a more industrial feel to it thanks to the intro’s electronic screeching. The drumming also feels a lot more organic and that it actually has a sense of release by the final chorus, though that’s prompted more by the guitars. I get that the lack of release fits very well with the content, but is a test of patience at five minutes, which is interesting because Taylor has the ability to keep my interest for much longer.

#3 – “All Too Well” (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff

The song is 10 minutes yet this might end up being the shortest review in this episode. It’s already a cultural moment with its critically acclaimed short film, several versions that are combined to make sure it hits #1 in the US (whilst Adele is just too powerful here, she did get the #1 album) and general cultural buzz and discourse about how, well, the song is excellent. You can really tell the difference between the original and this re-recording though, as whilst “All Too Well” in its original form is a shorter bittersweet ballad, this feels like a bitter epic and honestly, whilst it may be somewhat of a disappointment to long-time fans that the song has been re-written (I really doubt Taylor would have written about the patriarchy in 2011 – though I know she’s big on Tumblr so it’s up in the air), I do think that it’s better that we have a mature Taylor Swift finishing this song and filling it with the betrayal and frustration that we all knew the fan favourite track was really building up to. It’s a compelling narrative, written poetically with a wonderfully exasperated delivery from Taylor, probably one of her best performances ever, and backed by an intricate mix of subtle strings, ethereal guitars and a swell reflecting the vitriolic bombast of the sheer emotion in this song. I don’t think I want to hear the original 15-minute track that Taylor wrote with Liz Rose in 2011, because she wouldn’t have been able to believe in these lyrics and sell them as well as she does... but you all know that. It seems like the entire population agrees that this is awesome, so why would you need me to tell you that? Oh, and by the way, I’ve written this review segment, proof-read it, corrected it and adjusted the structure of the review, as well as formatting it correctly, and the song’s still not finished as I’m listening to it all throughout writing. Taylor Swift is the new Tool.

Conclusion

Yes, Taylor Swift snabs the Best of the Week for the 10-minute re-recording of “All Too Well”, with an Honourable Mention going to “Fly as Me” by Silk Sonic. These may seem like basic, safe choices but sometimes the general populace gets it right. The key word is sometimes because the rest of the new arrivals are hit-and-miss at best, with a Dishonourable Mention going to Jason Derulo for “Acapulco” and Worst of the Week served to the retirement party that is Little Mix’s “Cut You Off”.

For next week, we can prepare for Adele and hopefully not much else. Remember: since the three-song rule exists, Adele won’t make as large an impact on the charts in the US, but the longevity in both nations will be something to behold. Thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week!

[emmalederman]

Mr. and Mrs. Selnon

So I know I’m over a week late and this is probably the worst quality of writing I’ve ever produced but I didn’t want to let Valentine’s Day pass without my characters getting into some sort of antics so I whipped this fluff up in a few minutes ;) the writing is horrible but here you go....

Characters from my novel, “Lost in the Halls and “Finding Justus”

February 12th, 2015 

Karter Selnon stood at the foot of his bed, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. His wife Aria was fast asleep, curled into the fetal position and covers pulled up past her head. A little chubby hand was entangled in her long hair, indicating that their fourteen-month-old daughter Maxi was asleep next to her. Karter hadn’t even heard her come in the night before. He found her in the wee hours of the morning sacked out in the baby’s rocking chair and carried them both into bed. It wasn’t often that she’d be out like a light past sunrise so he wanted to let her enjoy it. Karter just continued to stare, admiring her as she slept. Sometimes even years later he couldn’t believe that this was his wife and the mother of his three children. ‘Lucky’ was an understatement. Karter lifted up on his tiptoes to try and get a peek if her eyes were beginning to open. He was torn with the decision to wake her up and surprise her or let her sleep a little while longer, the anticipation was killing him. He crept over slowly to the bed as Aria’s eyes began to flutter open. She could feel the sheer presence of him in the room and could hear his impatient breathing. He gave her a smile when he realized she was awake, his hand slowly carding through her hair to move it away from her face.

“Morning babe.” He gently pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Aria simply lay there, a bit stunned and confused at the situation. She began to drift back to sleep. Karter gave her shoulder a little nudge, “Aria Jade, time to get up.” Her eyes flew open, they immediately began to wander around.

“Who’s dead?” She murmured blearily, turning onto her back. Her sudden movement earned a primal groan from Maxi who simply rolled over, one of her chunky legs poking out of the covers. Aria blinked a few times, trying to take in the exposure. Karter propped himself up on a pillow, sprawling across the bed so he was facing her. He placed the roses in her lap. Aria looked at them quizzically, as if he just dropped a severed arm in her lap. “What’s this?” Her words were still a little fuzzy from sleep. She tried to shield her eyes from the light as she lay back against her pillow. Karter’s goofy grin was ear to ear.

“Today’s the big day!” Aria stretched and looked at the clock.

“What’s today?” She squinted her eyes. “I just threw my very last first birthday party back in December, the kids don’t have another birthday till August.” She thought for a moment. “Wait, are my toxicology results from the double homicide in today?”

“No…” Karter’s voice was sing-songy. “It’s even better! Look at the calendar.” Aria thought hard.

“What’s the date?”

“The 12th.” A horrified look came over her face as she began counting back the days.

“I’m not late am I?” Just the sheer thought of that made her wake up really quickly.

“No!” Karter interjected his joking tone gone. “I mean…I wish. But no!” Aria let her head fall back down and rubbed her face. She groaned and pulled a sleeping Maxi over and onto her body, snuggling her close as they both debated whether or not to get up and face the day.  Aria could feel Karter’s eyes burning a hole into her. Her head snapped up.

“What?” Her tone was already irritated for being this early in the morning.

“You really don’t know what day it is?” She shook her head, still half asleep as she rested her chin upon Maxi’s warm head. Maxi’s little arm reached Aria, pulling her closer, the two of them enjoying the moment.

“It’s not Valentine’s Day, that’s the fourteenth. I need to make two dozen cupcakes for Noah’s preschool party, on top of the load I’m sure is going to come into the morgue tomorrow.” She yawned. “And I think this girl has an ear infection, she kept me up all night. I need to write her a prescription.” She rubbed her face and tried to tame Maxi’s bedhead with her hand. Her eyes went up to meet Karter’s. “Karter I’m too tired to play games, just tell me what day it is.” His eyes lit up like an eight year old in a candy store.

“February 12th…four years ago today. White dress, vows, cake, flowers…Mr. and Mrs. Selnon....” Aria’s eyes shot open in realization. Shit. She immediately covered her face. “Happy Valen-versary!” Aria groaned and shook her head.

“Babe, please don’t call it that.”

“February 12th, 2011 we became Mr. and Mrs. Selnon.” Aria raised an eyebrow of suggestion. “Okay Doctors’ Selnon.” Her other eyebrow went up.

“Since when are you a doctor Karter?”

“Can you not let me have this?” He exclaimed. At the escalation in his voice, Maxi’s eyes fluttered open and she groaned in protest.

“Hey baby girl, good morning sunshine.” Karter soothed He reached out to smooth her hair back in which she reciprocated by smacking his hand angrily. “Oooh sorry, not a morning person.” Karter yanked his hand back and pouted, causing Aria to smile. “Guess what Maxwelle, today’s the day mommy and daddy got married. It’s our Valen…” He caught Aria’s look. “Anniversary. Our anniversary.”

“Are you sure it’s today?” Aria marveled, trying to count the days in her head.

“Pretty sure.” Karter said. “It’s the date on the calendar with the big heart on it.”

“Hah.” Aria sighed. “I thought you put that for the day Girl Scout cookies became available.”

“No!” Karter exclaimed. “Well…I mean, yeah that too. Do you remember where we were, four years ago today?” Aria scoffed.

“Yeah, six months away from having Noah.” Karter made a face.

“My bad.” The smile on his face grew and he began bouncing on the heels of his feet.

“Sooo….”Aria met his gaze.

“Soooo?”

“What did you get me?” He exclaimed. His eyes went wide. “Is it here? Ooooh, did you hide it at work? Is it something we’re doing today, like a surprise?” Aria put a hand to her head and groaned. “Well come on! Let’s go, get out of bed, come on, come on!” His tone was that of a nine year old on Christmas morning. He whipped off the duvet comforter that was covering Aria and Maxi to reveal the sleeping body of their two-year-old son Tanner on the other side of the bed. Aria whipped her head in the direction of their son. It was clear she didn’t know she had a second little bed buddy. The plump two-year-old was passed out, each of his limbs sprawled out across Karter’s side. His pajama top was rolled up, showing his chunky belly.

“Where’d he come from?” Karter shrugged up a shoulder.

“If I recall correctly…you.” Aria rolled her eyes and cradled a wriggling Maxi in her arms.

“I don’t mean who birthed him into the world, I mean how long has he been in our bed?”

“He wasn’t there when I went to bed.” Karter replied. “Most have crawled out of his bed and snuck in here in the middle of the night.” Aria stifled a yawn.

“That would explain why I dreamt there was a butterball lying in between my legs.” Karter rubbed his chin.

“I haven’t had that one yet.” He clapped his hands together, which made Tanner startle out of his sleep and clamber into Aria’s lap. She struggled as she tried to balance both toddlers.  “So, what’s the plan for today?”

“I’m sorry Karter, I really am.” Aria looked down as Tanner settled comfortably next to Maxi. “But I can’t take any more time off, this year gets really crazy for doctors and cops.” Karter titled his head.

“And which one would you be?” She pondered, biting her bottom lip as she did so.

“A perfect mix of the two. Close enough to the operating room, far enough away from touching living patients, close enough to murders, far enough away from guns.” Karter coughed abruptly, almost choking. He tried to hide the irony in the room.

“You’ve been shot a lot for someone who’s far away from guns.” Aria stared him down.

“You want it to be your turn?” She offered a smile, using her index finger to indicate that he come closer. Karter jumped back in fear, nearly falling off the bed. Aria rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have gotten the time off but we’re really swamped at the morgue and already had to take days off when the babies had the flu and you grabbed me at my feet and pleaded with me not to leave you alone with them. That was my last off.”

“I’m sorry but that was three sick children. You can’t just escape to the most sanitized building in Los Angeles and leave me alone to drown in snot with them.” He battled.

“Two sick kids.” Aria corrected. “Maxi didn’t get it.” Karter rubbed his chin, his tone was serious.

“Yeah…well I have a theory about that.”

“Karter for God’s sake we’ve been through this, just because she wasn’t breathing right when she was born doesn’t mean she has part of ‘the other side’ inside her.” Aria remarked. Karter shook his head.

“No, it’s like White Noise. Sometimes when she’s screaming, if you look in her eyes she has this look, she’s been to the dark side. She’s seen death, it’s a look you can’t explain.” Aria’s eyes burned into him.

“Actually…that’s the look, wow.” Karter shuttered in fear. “Well, I already took the day off. What if I just go in with you? Wait in your office while you…you know, do your…thing.” Aria made a face of disapproval. “Oh come on everyone loves it when I come in!”

“They only love it because you’re a giant walking distraction and when you come in nobody does any actual work.”

“But what about our anniversary? We can’t just not celebrate.” He pouted. “Come on Aria, it’s supposed to be romantic.” She shrugged.

“Karter we’ve been together for years. All the sexy lingerie and the handcuffs are for new relationships. We’re parents, we have three kids under three. Couples that have been together as long as we have don’t do that anymore.”

“But what about all the whips and chains and you know, before we got married when you’d dress up for me and we’d play…the fun kind of doctor.” He trailed off.

“Karter I’ve had three babies.” Aria insisted. He shrugged.

“You’re still attractive to me, my image isn’t tainted.” Aria cleared her throat, trying to stop him from going any further. “I mean watching you give birth isn’t the grossest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Okay.” Aria interjected, suddenly uncomfortable. She lay Maxi down on the mattress in front of her and began to unbutton her pajamas. “Karter can you hand me a size three diaper?” He grabbed the nearest thing near the bed and handed it to her.

“No remember the time I came to visit you at work and you told me to come in and there was a body laying on the table that you were touching and cleaning.” He shuttered at the memory. Aria scoffed and examined the diaper he had handed her.

“That is a size five, please don’t play the game where you don’t want to help so you purposely hand me the wrong items.” She undid the last of Maxi’s buttons. “Oh and are you serious right now? You weren’t supposed to even be in there, I heard a knock at the door, said ‘come in’ and there you were. You walked into a room marked ‘morgue staff only’ what did you expect to see?”

“It was looking at me Aria! Its eyes were open.” He argued.

“Eyes opening postmortem is a natural response of muscle.” She shot back.

“So was my gag reflux.”

“No, that’s a reflux that’s different.” Maxwelle suddenly whined and arched her back on the bed, interrupting their verbal foreplay. She grabbed two fistfuls of Aria’s t-shirt in her hand and tried to turn over. “I know, I know.” Aria soothed, picking her back up. She swung her feet over the side of the bed and stood up, holding Maxwelle on one hip and Tanner on the other. She checked her watch and winced. “We’re already running late, going to have to double up in the shower.” Karter’s eyebrows went up and he immediately began to undo his shirt, struggling immensely with the first button. “Whoa, not you big guy.” Aria gestured to the two toddlers in her arms. “I mean I’m going to take them in the shower with me. Could you go make sure Noah’s up and start getting him ready?” Karter stomped his foot in aggravation.

“Man!” He muttered under his breath and turned around to go wake up Noah.

   Less than thirty minutes later, Karter stood silently in the open doorway of Aria’s bathroom. He didn’t dare to make a sound; he just watched the chaos that brewed inside. Tanner sat clad in only a diaper on the edge of the sink, burst out into tears and on the verge of throwing a full blown fit. Aria stood over him, hair still wet from the shower as she nursed Maxi in one arm, all the while trying to insert a toothbrush into Tanner’s mouth.  The sound echoed off the walls, his words barely audible as he shrieked.

“I’ll let you brush them yourself but you need to brush your back teeth.” Aria tried to bargain. “You need to get your back teeth.”

“No!” Tanner screamed, tossing the toothbrush aside. He reached over to Maxi, running his hands along her face and trying to push her off Aria’s breast.

“Tanner be nice!” Maxi, who was suddenly outraged began swatting him back, which only made the crying escalate. “See, she doesn’t like that.” Tanner ignored her, continuing to try and push Maxi away. That only led to her hitting him back harder.

“Tanner Michael stop antagonizing her!” Aria took a step back, trying to separate the two and finish feeding Maxi all at the same time. “You keep pushing her buttons and she’s going to fight back.” She sighed. “God that sounds like how I met your father.” Tanner sniffled back tears.

“You’re my mommy.” She could barely make out his words through the crying.

“I’m both of yours, you need to share.” Aria wiped the tears from his face. “I don’t try and take your food away when you’re eating. You’d have a fit dude.” Deciding to make his presence known in this very moment, Karter cleared his throat from the doorway. Aria spun around, the momentary meltdown forgotten.

“What?” Karter cleared his throat again, as if he had something serious to say.

“Aria…Noah won’t play with me.” She rolled her eyes. “He kicked me out of his room. What kind of three year old kicks their dad out of their room? All I was doing was helping him button his pants and he told me to leave. He’s not even four, what does he need privacy for?” Aria put a hand to her head to try and keep it from exploding.

“Unless I sprout another arm here, I really can’t help right now. What do you want me to do about it?” Karter didn’t move, he eyed her outfit from head to toe. She wasn’t dressed in her usual scrubs or pantsuit; instead she had on a knee-length trench coat and black stockings. Her hair was array in a messy wave from air-drying and she had six-inch stilettos on. Karter giggled.

“Is that what you’re wearing to work? You look like a lady of the evening.” Aria didn’t even make eye contact as she fought Tanner in the toothbrush war.

“All my work clothes are in the wash, you promised you were going to do yesterday while I was gone.” Karter’s face went blank. Guilty. “Maxwelle pulled these shoes out of my closet and was walking around in them, the only way to get them away from her was to put them on and I didn’t have time to dry my hair because Tanner and Maxi remembered they don’t like each other. I have a clean pair of scrubs in my office I’ll change into when I get to the morgue.” She looked up at him, a pleading in her eyes. “Now can you please make sure Noah is ready?” Karter exhaled deeply and turned around, muttering under his breath,

“She used to be mine before you kids came along.”

  “The parking lot is dead here.” Karter observed as he and Aria walked side by side into the county morgue. He cracked a sly smile. “No pun intended.” Aria rolled her eyes and tossed a wave of hair over her shoulder that was finally almost dry.

“I am so late.” She muttered.

“Yeah, just like everyone you’re about to see.” Karter joked. He turned to her for approval. “See what I did there? Late, as in dead.”

“Karter you’re like a poet.” Aria replied dryly as they walked through the front door. Karter poked his head around, a little confused by the lack of people. Usually there would be someone cleaning in the morning, or filing papers. It was empty. A huge smile broke out across his face.

“I get it!” He exclaimed. Aria turned, confused.

“You get what?”

“Is this the surprise? You finally turned the morgue into an escape room for me?” She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah…no. Like we’d ever get approval from the city to do that.” She started up the stairs and he followed close behind, wearily.

“Where’s Hattie?” He wondered aloud.

“Court. Presenting on a double homicide.” Aria said.

“There’s no one out of their bag up here right?” His head darted in every direction. “Everyone’s all zipped up?” Aria turned down the hall, leading to her office.

“Karter relax.” She opened the door for him and closed it after he got inside. She waited until he was in the center of the room before snapping the lock. Karter wrinkled his forehead.

“Why did you lock the door?” Aria bit her lower lip and undid the belt of her coat. She let it slide down her shoulders to reveal the black lace corset she wore underneath. She let the coat fall to her heels, kicking it out of the way. Karter stood there, awestruck. He looked as if his eyes were about to fall out of their sockets. He stumbled back a few steps, thankful that the couch was there to catch him. Aria smiled and fluffed her hair in front. She let her hand slide down her lean legs, covered in nothing but stockings. She wore a tiny lace thong that Karter couldn’t take his eyes off of.

“So…nobody’s coming in today. The building’s getting its water heater replaced so the morgue is closed for the day.”

“How…when…where…”Karter stuttered out, hardly about to speak.

“You really don’t think I could have forgotten our anniversary could you?” She took a few steps forward, her voice sultry and seductive.

“Maybe.” Karter whispered breathlessly. He struggled to pull himself up from the couch, feeling as if all the wind had been knocked out of him. Aria snaked her hand around his neck and pulled him close. His hands immediately went to the lace material of the corset, making their way down to her hips and upper thighs.

“Happy anniversary.” A smile broke out across her face, clearly pleased with herself for pulling it off. Karter suddenly pulled back as something caught his attention.

“What’s this?” He asked, reaching for the small silver item he had his eye on. He ran his fingers over it, wincing with excitement as he felt how sharp it was. “Is this part of it?” He asked with a lust filled voice. “Where does this go?” Aria immediately grabbed the suggestive silver object and placed it down.

“Karter…that’s a skull chisel, it doesn’t go anywhere you want to know.” He made a face of disgust and quickly wiped his hand off on her thigh.

“Ew! Has it been used?” He continued to wipe off his hand, suddenly disgusted. He turned around to the other side of the room, looking for any other questionable items.

“Is there anything else that we could…”

“Babe?” Karter turned back in her direction. Aria smirked as she pressed her lips against his, trying to keep his attention.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.”  

“But what if…”

“Stick to what you can handle.” She whispered as she deepened the kiss.

[narukissgoodbye]

Least fave antag besides Sasuke because he really isn't one and I've heard enough bout 'im

Thanks for the ask My answer: Black Zetsu/KaguyaI really despise these 2 character with a passion and basically anything War Arc related.the problem She was introduced as the final villain or as I may call a complete ass pull. Her being there makes absolutely no sense because there was no foreshadowing to her character. She also had no real motives why does she want a solider of white zetsu? and what does she want to do with said chakra and the soldiers? She also has no character. She doesn't have a Enough attack she fall for Naruto sexy justu yes that was a funny scene and all but this is the last villain Stakes are supposed to be high. "the world is about end." And She was definitely defeated too easily. And at some extent I felt like her character was only used as plot device to kill Obito let's be real here. On to black zetus or should why not call him plot-zu because kishimoto has literally stated that he didn't know how to kill Madara because him made him to Op. So what was kishi's do. He does what he knows best ass pull no Jutsu. There are times where I wish that guy Sensei would have killed Madara the whole thing with black zetus felt like kishimoto was trolling us the whole time up to the point where black zetsu stabs Madara because first it was when Obito was going to revive the Allied Forces and then Minato not only was it annoying it was also very shocking I was surprisedFor majority of the fight all he's does taunt and just acts like a complete ass hole His backstory is very forced we're supposed to believe that he had this incredible bond with his mom when he only knew her for like 5 seconds like come on Kishi. And lastly Kishimoto kept changing who was the main villain first he first states that Obito was behind everything, then he says that Madara was behind everything and now at the end it was Black Zetsu all along

[uskius]

Naruto Ultimate Harem Marmalade Party

**AUTHOR"S NOTE*** I always wanted there to be a tornematn series in the SHipuden, but it dusn't look like that is gunna hapin, so I'll just make one miself. I think itle be pritty cool. Naruto will still fight aginst Tobi and stuff, just in a different way that I thought up.

NARUTO:: NARUTO ULTIMATE HAREM MARMALADE PARTY

The thundre makind a mooib rolling noise, and Tobi laffed maniacly as he stood on the Hokage monuent. He was using a jutsu to make a big image of him in the sky, and kake his voice louder. S"hinigami of kOnoha! I am being very generous, and an giginv you one last time to defeat me, for ultimate justice!

This plan will give opurutniy for Konoha to grow stronger as a village, for if you show the trve hartof untiy, you show my plan of world peace can be true!

But first, I must meet with Tsunade, and outline the skeme with her. So know this: if you brake rules of plan, I will anihilate Konoha like a farting Tailed Beast! I will rain down upon you with furries vengeanse, and grind you bones into teh dust of the past! Thus it is spoken so shal it be ritten, to the very last litle dot- you bizzels forgot Tizzle does not give a-" But then Tobi's justu ran out of time, so he shurgged and just tlelported into Tsunade's offise to speak with her. When he appered, she gasp in suprise.

"OH! I did not expect you so soon! And what bold have you, is this mockery?" Y"You think to control Konoha like this?"

"You hast forgotten I an amvincible, so your resist mean naught. " Tobi pulled a scroll from his jutsu dimenshin, and unrolled it on Tsunade's desk. "This is my ultimate plan,..."

THE NEXT DAY

It was no rainy anymore, and their was fresh smell of air, good blue sky. "People of Konoha and the Alied Sahionbi Force: I will now tell you of Tobi's ultimate plan wich he gave to me:

It is of spirited battle and competition, and intamate teamwork! Earlier today you had visited the Hopsital, to have specile justu put on you to help with this plan. So now I will explicate on this jutsu: It is to give and muplity you natural jutsu power and chakra natureand can also give power of flite! But this powers only activate under certain conditiona: the penis of the male partner must be inserted into eether the anus or vagina of the femail partner.

To make things fair, every male who has chosen to participate will receive a basic female partner with standard powers. Many females will have expanded and unique powers, so I urge you to collect as meny female partners as you can! The one with the most female partners at the end of two weeks will have right to face Tobi!"

Shikamaru raised his hand. "I don't suppose you plan on telling us how to claiym a partner?"

"Simple, just activaet her powers." OH! "And one more things, sometimes your femail partners powers will run low, so to refill them you must insert your penis into her mouth! And if you defeat a team, you may choose one of them to add to you own team! Do you all understand?" a bunch of people had frowny faces, but they nodded they knew. " Now I shall read the list of starting partners..."

Naruto wouldnt say it, but he had been hoping to partner up with Sakura since he had heard the news, and he was just thinking of the fights with her he could do and didn't really listen to Tsunade until he heard his name.

"-Uzumaki shall be paired with Ami!"

"HUH? Ami who?"

"Ami Kimura, who just happens to be standing right beside you." Naruto looked to his side aand saw at a girl who had sholder length purple hair with a long bang on her left cheek, and she looked kinda older then him but not much. "You bettere make this worth it Naurto."

"I'me the #1 candidit for Hokage, of corse I'll make it awesome!"

But suddenly Ami pulled him in and started to wisper plans of action in his ere: "Let's hurry up and get going, and take as many partners right away." So then Ami wasrubbing Naruto in his crotchular area and he was suprised she did this but he got a shape anyways. Ami striped super fast, and Naruto saw she had a hot shape with curvs, and then she put down his pants and strated srding on Naurto but he was hesitate. "Do you want beat Tobi or no? " She turn away and spred cheeks, and Naruto drule but he go in Ami's girly tube and a symbol flash on her back, and they both basp. "LIFTOOOOOOFFF!" Ami and Naruto flew up into the air, and look down on sene.

Many people were still being talked, and lots of girls were slapping dudes. There were lots of girls who had dirfted off into there own little groups and Naruto and Ami guessedt they had no partners yet. Before Naruto cood deside, Ami used a bostid version of the flicker jutsu and swoopt in and grabbed two of the gurls, and was zooming up to get a view of the battle again.

"You see anyone else you want, Naurot?" Naruto heart beet fast, wen he see Sakura had no partner!

"Hnnnnng! Yeah, yeah! Down at Thr3 aclock!" So they swoopt down and Naruto grab for Sakura but she see and be suprised, and flinch so that Naruto grabbed anuther girl instead! So Ami moaned and flew them off to the Hokage monuent to land. Naruto gruntid and pull from Ami, and take look at the females they had collected.: A blond kunichi frmo Kumo, some short-ahired woman from Konoha, and then then girl Naruto grabed insted of Sakura was Tenten! "Uh, intraductions? I'm Naruto Uzumaki..."

There was silents, but then Tenten spole up: "At least we didn't get taken by some creep. I don't like this either, but I know we can trust Naruto." Then the other girls shurgged, and and spoek.

"Samui, from Kumo." Said the blond Kunichi.

"Yurika, from Konoha." Said the woman with the short brown hair. She and Samui looked the same age, a little older than Ami.

"Tenten, also from Konoa."

"Ami, from Konoha." Then the girls all looked over at Naruto, who stil had no pants and had a shape.

There awere some really awkward silents, then Tenten said, "I'll go first." So Tenten let her hair down, and it was to her shoulders and kinda wavy from being in buns for so long. She kept taking her colths off and Naruto saw she had an average shape that was still hot anyways. She sat on Naruto's lap and took off his jackit and shurt, thin closed her eyes and graspt his penis. She sighet and put it in her, grunting until it fit. Then she suprise Naruto and beign to kiss his face and move on him, and Tenten kept this for a minute, until after she felt the tingle of the claim jutsu activate. Naruto was blush like red sky after storm, and saw that Samui and Yurika alreddy had there colths off!

Yurika had an average shape too, but her hips wure a bit widre than Tentens; and Samui's breastices hung down, large and full of sexy. Samui came forwerds and got down on naruto, and it was only a bit before her mark flash to activate. She was jiggle as she got up, and then Yurika came over and sat on Naurto's lap. Here girly tube was small so it took a while for her to get all on, and she yelled when her mark activated. "Oh! Oooooohh!" But it was an not sexy oh, and Yurika, made hand signs. She then look around, then nod and get off Naruto.

"One of my powers is info an radar scanning," She explaane. "I know what all our powers are now, and I need I can track other unclamed females." She looked around the group. "Your skills are essentially boosted versions of your normal stuf, but the seals have also drawn out your chakra natures- Samui, you have water, Tenten has Erth natrue, I have fire and Ami does aswell.

"I nevre knew I was Erth Natured with my chakra... huh. But, I mainly use weapons..." Samui and Ami nodded along.

"I od too," said Ami.

"I'll share some of mine, I guess. I half pletny of every kind." So Tenten unseald one of her scrolls and the girls picked their usual weapons: a tanto for Samui, and a sai for Ami. Yurika picked up a shurken and stufft it in her vagina, just in case.

"So now wHst?" Askt Tenten. They al looke arond at each pther, and knew not of what be doing. "Lets make this hour base and werk frpm here." San dDaruto

"Cool/" So Tenten sue her eartj chakea to make crown walls on the Hokafe's head. and unseled some camping stuf to use, and efen hung up Ohotoshopt pics of the Konoa guys, whitch made Naruto feel embarassed. Samui nod hed like approve. Yurika borrow some of Tenten gear to write list of girls to claime. andmake notes of justu combos to try.

DAY L

Narut opps

Naruto opne eyes, and it was being near after bfeore dawn, almsot. Stars were shine in black of skt. Tenten give blankit, but only was on tent wich she give to others to use. Naurto was stiff, and ywan as he look ofer to camp fire. He see Tenten, who put more stickx on fire with tired look in her nipplse. She look to se Naruto loking, and say hay. He say hwy too and go over to the low fore acriss from Tenten.

"You can;t sleep top"

"NO", Saod Tenten. "I"m kinda achey." But Naruto thinkt it mean from rock, but Tenten ment her p*ssy.

"Me two," Saud naruto, lookinf inro the fire. He glance and see Tenten only have blankets to, the thin stuff. So he go an get his, an give them to her. "I no really need these, I'll be fine."

"But" But Tenten was no silly, and knew It was cold. "let's just share... be better for us both..." Tnten mumbled, but Naruto hear good words blazed across his libido like fruitfly on crack binge.

"Uh..."

"Naruto I know you like Sakura, but what do you think of me?" "Am I just to be somw pwn in sthis game?"

"No, but... how can you not, in the end?" "And. Uh. I haven't really now you taht good. There's only that onw misspn we did together." They fell to siletns then, but Naruto yawn after a few minutes. "Come on," Sed Tenten, and she reached arond the fire and use Secret Woman Grip so Naruto codln't escape, and pull him for the blankets. They get under covers and Tenten snuggle colse with her arm over his chet. Naruto feel uncoffmtable because he feel so cozy, and Tenten give Tired moan in his eara. Or so he thawt. He was begin to relax but Tenten moane of sex frustration, and move her hand on his bod, towards his penis! She grasp it, her delicite hands feeling like the loose vagina of a porcelain doll as she stroke him, cool and stiff and slick. But her haand warm, and she moant more and sgrasp harder, and naruto have to grab her ahdn.

"Uh Tenten..."

"I just don't want to be a tool, Naruto, so let me play with yours..." So Naruto turn over and touched Tenten, felling her and taking her bed colths off. It was youg love at it's finist. Tenten's muffen top glisened in the lowe light of tehe fore, then Naruto desinded like a breath of anus ticklings and began to kiss on Tenten; it was maagical.

So a little later after they did some other stuff, The moonliht was was trickle over the top of the rocky crownshapet wall, and Tentenlook at Naruto with special feelings in her heart a of anuses. The feelings tickled at her like the Soring breth of faireies, and they had to escape. "What is it, Tenten?"

"I have a song, that I want to share with you. I heard street players sing it one time on a mishin, and it stuck with me for a while. Would you mind...?"

"No, go ahed, Tenten."

"Okay... the singer had a really soft voice for a guy, so If i'm not too good imagine a voice like that..." So Tenten cleared hear throte, and sang quietly with the lust of new hope:

"When I masturbate in the forest, I am thinking of you And those memorise are the fondist That I do the deed too

Wheeather by starlight, or under the moon Or a dusty rode in June, I"ll be with you soon Wheather by grace or just by chance Or other circomstanse, I"ll be in your pants..."

Naruto could almost heaar soft acostic guitar playing along with Tenten"s suprisingly good voise, and begin to float off to the dreamy as she continued:

"When I tickle myself on the highways, The eagles shed a tear for yoi And all those thawts are a nice place To stay a while with you

Wheether by starlight, or under the moon Or a dusty rode in June, I'll be with you soon Wheather by grace or just by chance Or other circomstanse, I"ll be in your pants

Moonlight and dusty rhodes, no more nights spint alone Starlight and grace, guide my boner..."

Tenten kisst the sleepy Naruto, and they fell asleep together.

In the morning nothin much happened, they all just had some food pills and it was a little awker cuz everyone was naakid.

"How soon do we move out?" Askt Ami, who inexplicebly was red down in her vagina area.

"I'll do a scan, and then we'll whsts gonna have to hapen." Said Yurika. Then all lookt at Naruto, who new whet he hadto doo. As he got shape Yurikia walkinged over, and bend down to spred chkees for him, and aftir a momint he went in.

There was a anime flash of green light, and Yurika sed "Scanning the arela now..." Bthere was a puaseof uncsertinty, and the Yurika called, "Someone ride on my back! Our first target os on the move!"Tenten ran over and hopt on, picing up a katana on the way. Then they acheved liftoff and flew over the edge, the wind rustlink their hair. "Going down!" The gruop veered off to the sied as thei desinded. Soon the shinobe's sharp sight set onto two ninja runnina away: Kiba, and Yakumo Kurama!

Naurto gruntet. "Yurika! Speed boost and circle around in front of them!" hIs steed obeyed and bostoed around, and cut off Kiba nad Ykauom like cops and a niggre. They both gasp in suprise, and Kiba got rage fumes from ears.

"WHAT! I is beaten by Naruto alreddy? I- only have..." Naruto mind cesor Kiba's Penis, ans he was nakd. He look over to side. "Yakumo, trust me tish guy is n00b of highst oeder!"

"Didn't he save the Village-"

"NOT THAT KDIN OF N))B! I meant with girls!" There was a desprit awkwerd silents, and Yakumo made choise. "Hurry! Hana is back at my bas-"

"NO JUST SUTH UP Kiba! I'm sure akamaru wont be lonely!" Yakumo jeap for Naruto, and she got on Yurikas back in frunt of Tenten. Yukamo's colths rufflt in the wind and she made s hand sign, and put Kiba in a lusty genjustu. "Taht shood hold him for a little wile."

"Is ankneone else close, Yurika?

"There apperes to a be someone in hiding 1km away, but they are alone. There appear to be a few other teams in flying distense."

"Alrite lets' zoom to base first, and then get going." So they flew bakc to baes, Yurika gruntimg and Naurto gorned. From his spot, Shino saw them all with eech other, and it give hem idea.

So back at the base on teh momunent, Yakumo noticed the other gurls wure nakes. "..I'll join yore groop, Naruto, but... um later. Y'now..." Naruto gulpt and nodded. Yakuno looket very pretty, and fargile like a flower petal floteing on a still ponf. Yurika coffed, and Naruto got bacl insied here, and almost taked of but Ami aod "WAIT!" She grabbwd her sai and hop on, and Samui get on too. They lift off and Samui's breastices flapped in wind like butterflts in a virgin stomich, but then Tneten grab on to them, feeling there sexiness and groning a litle bit. Naurto could see where Yorika was hedded, the the to the Hokage tower! He had nervus thawts, but put in his ninja training and made his cock stiif for teeh battle. Yurikas gorns wree lost in the wind, but Ami kept fodnling Samui , getting reeley into tooiiifei it.

Samui's ninja senses pci up and she delfected several kuntai with her tanto, and Ami did to. The storm of weppuns increaset, and Naruto and Yiruka did barrel rools, and herd someone say "You won't get Lady Tsuna- AAAAaaaarrrgh!"

But then Aoba was popped up, riding Tsubaki(se was frpm filler) with Shizune on boared! Naruto hart pound when he see Shizune, and almsot got nosebleed.; her sexiness was embarasing and deth-defying. "There she is, naruto! " Sez Yruika. "We need Shizune." Naurto gulps and nods.

"I won't ler you get to the Hokafe!" Shout AOBA! "But I am destine to face Tobi,' replies Naruto. "I need the epic power of her- umm... her tits!" Ami look around at him like 'really?" Then AOBA! groan and shout.

"I belieeve you Naruto, but it is a power you will have to go through me to get!" AOBA! went into his Super Mode, and Tsubaki barfed crows at high spped, some of them was shot lasers from eyeballs and Naruto did his best dodgings but still was being to deflect some with kunai naruto did big surge of chakra and Samui used a big water jutsu, which hit AOBA!"s justu crows like wave of girly tube blood, and light was refarcted and the justu crows feathers got wet, and they cood not fly. Ami then got antsy and want to use big fire justu, so they soom in throwing kunai, wich SShiznue defelt but just do to give Ami time for preparings. She tickle Samui's bboobies one last time and then made hand seal with surge of charka everyone giave her.

"The" There was big anime flash of red light, and Ami yells "Fire Style Justu: Vagina Immolation!" A big wave of fire goed from Yurika and Ami and Samui, and it fromed a igant fiery flying vagine the sweep to AOBA! and close in on him. It ingulf him like a lusty virgin, swallowing him like a pirson bitch, and made a big anime flash as it was m being imploded.

But it seem to do of nothign! AOBA! and Tsubaski and Shizune were being purple now, and steamy like a hot cock. "What!" Samui and Yurika say, and Naruto was surprise too.

"It's my poison mist" Shiznue explained, "When in high high heat it becomes protective coating, and not of poison!" But in secret Shizune new they was poisoned a little bit, and feeling of a baked potato.

"Well I pull out all the stops now!" Shouted Naruto. Shadow "Shadow Clone Justu!" Then a bunch of copies of Naruto and the girls appear, and they have all their waepons and dart in for the fighting! But somehow Shizune new the Clone Jutsu too and made some(not as many as NartuO) and the S. clones hop of AOBA! and spring around fighting. Ami's jutsu clones hop off Naruto and fight and she was good with her sai but Shizune was being fast., and got lots of clones with good kunai attackings. So aaAmi prepare to use another big fire justu, a once a day kind of thing like Chidori was been. She became in tune with her clones, and then they turn to AOBA! and make the hand signs, and scream with rage moanings, "Fire Style Jutsu: Hellfire Orgy!" This was big ultimate technique, and there was a anime flash of energy as blood red flames pulse from Ami's clonse that mingle and swirl and explodicate, to the destroying of naruto's clones too; and milky smoke curl up as left over fire rained down to burn stuff.

It was to seeing AOBA! and Tsubaki and Shiznue still in air, but all wobbly. Then hidden clones of Naruto and the girls fly pu,, and punch AOBA! in face, which made building explodiate in Land of Water.

"I- I consede...!" Aoba said, and they fly to Hokage tower and land. "This was disappoint, I was thinking of being better," Aoba said.

"No you did great!" Naruto said with encuragings. "Like that corw laser thing, and Shizune was quick thinking too, with her poison." Ami and Samui nod, being impressed of this.

"I knever knew Ami was good with the fire justu's," Said Shizune.

"Well, hearing about how that Sakura Haruno was being of taringing t with Lady Tsunade made me want to be getter, so I train a bunch." Buth then all cood see Shizune and Aoba and Tsubaki was hot and not feeling good, and so Shizune healed some them but she got tired and didn't have the chakra to heal herself- but then Tusnade came! Outside, and look on scene. She see Shizune, and have sad look of face for a minute before using the one green palm glowing jutsu to heal her up. After, Shizune skin was nice and helthy and pink glowy, like Aoba and Tsubaki's was. "So, naruto: which of Aoba's team to you choose in victory winnings?" Askt Tsunade.

Yurika nod at Naruto, and he say "I pick Shizune." Then air became of awkward, and Tsunade say "I'm sure everyone else would be glad to update me on the contest," And look to the door she was walked from. So Naruto and Shizune go through, and it nice stairs going to posh apartment suite, with a nice big rug in middle of room. Naruto look at Shizune, and she looked at him- and he lloked at her, and she lloked at him, and Naruto gulp and got his shape to the bigness of almost pain, Shizune's sexiness was still embarassing and cute. "So-" Naruto begin but Shizune stop him finger on lips and put him down on the rug. She was of being nervus too but not of ebmarassed like Naruto, and his shape looked good to her even if young. She kissed of his neck, and grind his shape, and sucked on his neck with sex cravings,. So Naruto sit up to kiis of Shizune and he put his shape in her p*ssy, and Shiznue moan and rub her girly bitton as she sexed Naruto. They topple to of the rug when naruto arch back for harder sexings, and Shizune grunt and used her girly muscles on Naruto's shape as they sexed, feeling his ogryness in her bits. She no notice mark flash on back long ago, and continue to sex Naruto harder and harder, rolling around on rug, fighting for top. She got to feeling the sexiness build up, and felt Naruto throb as she sexed on him and so he touched her girly button agian an moaned and let out all her sexiness on naruto, his shape now slick with pent up orgy lustings unleshed. Shizune gave l the lusty happy moanings and lay on Naruto, mouthing his neck and cheeck again. "You're mine, you little naughty tailed beast," Shizune whisper of Narutos' ear with ultimate sexyness.

So then they was being wipe off with random blanket on a the couch, and went back outside. Aoba did no look at Naruto, and Tsunade cough and say "Well it seems like Tobi's plan is being of effective.

"Is everyone else ready?" Samui ask, with smooth noticings. Naruto's girls nod.

"but how we all fly together?" Askt Ami.

"If you are all in contact with the genitaalia, then naruto's power connect with each of you. Simple." Naruto glance, and then Yurika was bend over but Ami speak. "I need a quick recharge, Naruto. So they all look and Naruto got a shape seeing ami's curviness, and she kneel down and open mouth for him hec close eyes but it feel good so he open, and see Ami looking up at him, and it seem like they connect. She felt the glowing of sexiness build up in her again, and in a moment was glowy and blush. "Alright, good to go." So Naruto got in Yurika, and Shizune got on her. Yurika then put her fingers in Ami's and Samui's girly parts, and they gasp as they feel power from Naruto. "LIIIFTOOOOOOOOOOF!" Shout Naruto, and they all fly up. Ami shared her boostings, and she and Yurika and Samui made a cool jutsu to rocket fires come from their feet and they zoom fast back to the base on Hokage's head.

They tuch down, and Tenten mouth hanged open and stared to see Shizune with Naruto. "You're alright," Yakumo said. She was down to just her underwaers, nad had a fresh slim shape. NAruto felt of the embarassing like with Shizune, but Yakumo smile and Naruto remember himself.

"Yeah, but we got into a fight with AOBA!, it was tough." "But Naruto pulled through," Shizune added.

"I'm glad," Said Yakumo. "So, I was busy while you were away, and I used some homemaker hustu to turn my clothes into more tents and blankets." Then naruto saw at the new tents, all puprle and very neat looking.

"These are pretty nice, Yakumo." Said Shizune, and Yurika and the other girls nodded with agreements.

"Oh! And they even have our names on them!" Said Ami, as she walked over to hers.

"I can use a jutsu real quick to put your name," Yakumo said to Shizune. She nodded and walked over with Yakumo to a tent near the mountain side.

"So, is there anyone else you you should think I should go for, Yurika?" "A few, but I need a little bit of a break from flying. I didn't notice their positions changing, so they may be strategizing at the moment."

"So should we," Samui said."

"Yeah, I was thinking about how we'd defend our base here if other harems attacked while you were gone," Tenten said.

"We have the high ground, so we should be pretty well defended against jutsu if they don't know how to fly."

"And that also give us an advantage for our jutsu," Samui said. "Tenten's erth and my Water Jutsu would have added power ginong down the slope."

"And Ami and Yakumo would be great to help against ariel attacks." Tenten said with suggesting. So Naruto and the girls continued to strategize, working out plans with Ami and Yakumo and Shizune once they came over, cool attack patterns and justu combos, and before they knew it it was lunch time, Naruto got a bunch of instant ramen from somewhere and they feastid on that. It was funny happy meal, and they had awkward giggles and laughs looking at each other, and then after they went back to their tents to chill. Naruto was wondering what kinds of harems he'd be facing in the next few days and weeks, who would be teamed up with who. He still hoped he could have Sakura with him, her ctue pink hair and good strengths of punching. He wanted to beat Tobi and make the world peace moer than anithing, and he want to being of do it with Sakura... literually.

Lost in his thinkings, Naruto almost didn't notice the tent flap lift up. "Huh?" He looked, and seed that it was Samui...! "Uh, hey! Ah, umm..."

'Got a lot on your maind?" "Uh, yeah I geuss you could cay thats."

"Don't forget to keep a cool head, and not get too distracted." Samui said, lounging towards Naruto.

"But thaier are so meny things to do, and keep track of!" "Well, sometimes you needs sto step back form thata and relax for a little while." So Naruto began to see where Samui was going, and gulpt big time. He looked at her, and saw her breastices being of the large and hanging. He liked girls with a shape more like Yakumo or Sakura, not all big like Samui, but she was still kinda being sexy. "Taking a litle break can help you focus..." Samui slithered with lustings onto Naruto, and talked low. "I could hear you with Shizune... just let it all go for a while and give me sume of that..." So Samui licked at Naruto's neck and nibbled his ear fore a second, and then sya, "Maybe I could show you a thing ro two while we're at it." She wraped her arms around Naruto and stop his nervous talak with a slow kiss, and Naruto felt himself begin to get a shape. Samui was a reely good kisser, and naruto began to forgit about not liking her shape and just felt her lips all over him, and then before he knew Samui put his shape insedi her and began to sex on him, slow and heavy. Naruto gorned, and Samui began to sex him faster, bit by bit. "Hnnnnggg! Uhh, uuhhhh, Samui!"

"You like that, huh?" Samui sttarted to realy grind, with her girly button rubbing Naruto as she sexed him; Naruto arcked his back into her and hold on to her hips. Samui slowed down, and took tim to lick and nip Naruto's nippples when she came down to them. She raket his sides with light sexings of her fingernails, and sexed with heavy slow movings.

Y "Ynnnnaaahh, you fill me up just right, oh...!" In that way, Samui sexed with Naruto for a long time, moaning and reely grinding on naruto, then she got on her back and pulled her legs up behind kness, and naruto got bruises on his b*lls from sexing Samui so hard. he got the sexing fury into him, and reely kept sexing Samui hard even though his b*lls hurt, but aftuer a while he slowed and sexed Samui like she had him, grinding into her with heavy sexings. Samui drew his head to her chest, and he kissed her breastices a little, and then sucked on one for a bit, leaving a big hickey. Naruto stayed on Samui's chest and breath ed with lustings, looking into her eyes. Samui rolled over and sat them up, and then kneeld holding Narutos' shape. "Stand up," She commanded. "I want this all over my face." So naruto stood, and Samui put him in her mouth, tasting Naruto and sexing his shape with her hands and tongeu. Samui moaned in her self a lot., and Naruto groaned feeling the sexyniess build up again. "Aaah, auhhhooohhh SAMUI!" She pulled him out of her, and he throbbed and got his sexy juice all over her face, and then Samui put Naruto back in her mouth and she sexed him for a little bit longer before she was done.

So in the afternooning, Naruto left base and went into town to buy some supplies, there were long lines at the nigga tools stores but not too many at the food ones,. He wanted to get a lot of ramen but the girls had yelled at him to get ither stuf too, like tampon flavored cereal and chocolate flavored douches. he had lots of his clones carry all the stuff for him and he ran into Kakashi.

"You and your army goinga eat all that?"

"Ha ha, no, but I am really hungy. You have a lot of bags too, senssie." A "Aah, jussies have a few stray pussies to feed, thye'll meow too loudly otherwise."

"Oh sure, I didn't think you liked cats!"

"I'm a fan ofa all tinsg cute and adorable." Kakashi did his eye smile, and walke d off to whareever. So it was the evening when Naruto got back to base on the Hoakes' head, and Ami and Tenten saed "Finally!" They all went through the bags and put a ot of stuff in the storage rock Tenten had made with a jutsu and some stuff in their aown teints, and it was while the canned soups were wareeming over the fire Yakumo gave a wanting look to Naruto. She look away for quick as she adjust her lacy brassiere, nd then look back to naruto for a secodn. The soups were soon done, and spooned into bowls to be ate with grateful slurpigs aand sponfuls. Naruto helped Shizune put away the bowls after the quiet eatings, and she winket and ruffled his hair as she walked to her own tent. NAruto go to his own tent and relax on on of the piloows he'd bought, thinking of crazy sexy days since Tobi made challenge. He began to be of the sleepy, and think about Tenten and Sakura, and it was dark in the crown walls of his base and tent. Then he heard shy interrupting coughings outside his tent! "Come in!"

The etn flap was being lifted up, and Yakumo bent down to walked in. Naruto's eys took a little bit to ajdust, and he see yaukomos' long brown hair looked dark and fine, and she kneelsd down and crawlsed to beside Naruto..

"What's up Yakumo?"

"Naruto, I still have not the being claimed yet," Yakumo said. "Oh." "I don't know how I'll compare to the other girls, but... well, I'm a- I... just, take it slow and easy O.K.?"

"Naruto sallowed, and yakumo reached behind to take off her brassiere, and slide off her thong. Her form was sexy siloette in darkness, and the slowyl hold and kiss naruto with careful shyness. "Uh, um We don't need to do this for me to claim you..." "But i WAnt to, I want to be yours. I've had a little crush on you since that day..." Meaning, Yakumo ment, when Naruto told her the truth of her parents. "I'd never had anyone be so hoinst with me. And you were pretty cute to.o." So yakumo went back to the kissing with be a ing nRauto, less shy now but still sweet adn careful. It wascute with the lips, and Naruto liked kissing Yakumo like this, but after a while, he knew it was time and Yakumo helpde to get him in a shape, touching him and kissing him. Yakumo winced with the painings but still sexed on Naruto gently, breathing low and holding on to him, her maiden ness like flower petals plucked and telling of love...

DAY 3:

Bright and early, all was they up to eat breaktsfyd and spar some. Naruto seed al his gurls siklls', how good Ami and Tenten wure with being of the sai and wepone fightings, and Shizune and Yakumo in genjustu battle that blur reality into mess of love juice. Yurika and Samui worked of their justsus to, making cool steam jutsus and discussing more bateling tacktics. Naruto did some sparing with Yurika, and knowed her okay hand to hadn skill but he want to talking being of with her. "I can feel someone wactching us for distence," He saed. Yurika nod like notice too. "You want to do the sacn, real quick?" Naruto nod, and they silp over to behind a tent. Yurika fondiled Narutos' b*lls sanad stroked at his penis getting him into a shape, it was quick and Yruika put his shape in her mouth to slick it and then they sat down and Yurika got him inside her. She groned and there was short anime flash of lihgt, and she started to look around for scannings. "They'er up at top of montain, rihgt above us.," She wishperesd to Naruto. Yurika start to being stand up, but Naruto hold her down and she lookd at him with eyebrow surprisings. "You want to...?"

"Yes, I don't want us just to go flying around and and that eill be it, I dont want is to ise uou like tath." "Well then come on, take me." So Yurika sexed on Naruto and ptu her arms arond him, sexing with smooth grindings as Naruto kiist her chest, and then of surprise sexing Yurika put Naaruto in all way by sit down hard, and hold Naruto cosle as she whimper and wisper "Cum on, cm on..." AO naruto put them both on ground, and skqueezt Yurikasa' but-tocks as he pull his shape out a tiny bit then pound Yurika with hard sexings, her girly musels got githet and tieghet and tighter until they were sqwueezings and grindging each other, and Yurika stiffle moan by sucking on Narutos' neck and let out her love juice on him, and Naruto throbbed in her as her girly muscles kept holding his his hsape hard. Yurika rolled to being of t was the on top, and hold Naruto down. "Were gonna go for two, Naruto. Think yous can for the keep up with me?" Naruto gulpte, and Yruika began to sex on Naruto with speed of lustings for orgyness, and surprise sexings by slow down and sex on naruto all way, reely hold him tight and squeeze with her girly muselcs before going fast again. Naruto kept hod of her but-tocks, slapping and feeling and queezfing there firmniss. They git louf od the oanings, and Yuirika rubbed her girlt buttin a litle bit before clamoing on Naruro her hardest yet, screeming with loud sex omnings ad dhe felt him in her, and her girly mussels oulsed with glory as she let out her love juicres agin, Naruto cood brealy move but he kept up the hard sexings, and aftir u little wile he throbbed in Yuirika again, too,. Even though Naruto was being lto lose his shape from all the sexings, Yurika still stayed on him and kissed him. "So long..." Naruto almsot not hear her say, and he put his fingers in her... ahir, smf kiss her with sweet tongeings.

After they were done, Yurika checked and the pseron thayd felt wasn't there anymore. Os they went back out a cloud passt over ttje canp, bringind darknisse of happry dau., and they girls were snackulating before the rest of the day. "P"Hew! so that was sine toufgh sparing!"

Samui smirked "So you like it ro-"

Yes," Yes, but I think we can all lern stuffs fomr each otheru.," Shizune interupted with smooth noticings.

"Yeah, Shizune could help me with my genjustu some, and teach me in the mediacl fields." "And aleredy I'm lerning more stuffs abouwt wepuns from Tenten," Ami conpustulated.

"So lets keep up the team work, to be the best!" Naruto did the nice guy pose, and Tenten giggled.

"Well whut are yro gunona teach us, Naruto? The rAsengan?" Tenten asked with joyus sarcasm. "Well, I cood try. But it's reely hard at first."

" I was just kidding."

"But no, I think it would be a good justu for you all, it doesnt need hand signs."

"So yewll acshoally do it?" Yakumo askt. She was thinkingthis would be epic win for her justu, to be a the good genjustu master and have a Rasegna.

"UH_HUH!" Noddid Nartuo , now sertin. B"But later. A nigga needs to eat!" So naartuo became with gleeful snackings, and enjoyed his Double Cholit infinte enrgy protein bars. Tie Time pased with smiling,s but Soon it was of the being for next the plans." "Are we ready? The girsl nodded, and Yurika saed "Well' be going after another girl on my list, and it seems she is by a training ground in her man's base there.; they haven't moved." Then they got into the flight formation, with Shiznue and Yakumo riding on Yurika, who had her fingers in Ami and Tentens' girly tubes, and Samui rode on Tenten. "LIFTOOOOOFF!" Theny flew off, Yurkina steering them in high speed turnings. It was almost cool funride, but they was became swift, and time of filte was not too long.

"I cane see a guy and his harem hiding in the trees at two a clock!" Tenten says. "That's wthe place," Yurika confirms, so they descend lwith grace like teen boys nads. "I've come to challenge you, so come on out!" Naruto shouted! It was quiet, but then Naruto herd buzzings and perseved it was Shino they were facing. Tenten did a quick Eaerth justu, making a fast spike to lance up as a lusty penis at where she saw a hider from air,. There was a yell of surprisings, an then Shino and his girls came out. Naruto was surpised to see he had four, and his mount was a girl with long dark hair Naruto didn't recognize,- but to his side was Hinata! His vision falshed red and blood tirckled from his nose as he saw her sexiness big and soft and curvy but not too big like Samui, but ebarasing like Shizune's was af tirts. He knew Shinos other two girls from academy, but he only new there faces, and not there names right thine.

"It does be perceved that you hast becoming of the greed, Naruto. You seekith 7 women?"

"I know I can beat Tobi, I must for sure be the to face him! And you have four girls, now who's getting greedy?"

Shino sied. "I- hold on-" Shino sexed his mount girl for a second, and then continued. "Ahem, it is not greed but like as thou hast explicated, to the defending of Our village. Let us see who is wanting it more"! Shino signaled, and his girls lined up inf ront of each other, and bent down to sex the girl in frton's p*ssy with their mouths. Then Shino was making handsigns, and made his justu revealed! "Hidend iNsect stlye Justu: Human Centipede ForitmanO!" There was anime flash of light from the mount girl to Hinata, and the girls mouths stercht and fuse with the but-tocks of the girl in front, so they looked like one peece, and there was another anime flash of light and then Shino saed "Anus-to mouth- fusion complete!" then Hinata activated her Bakugan, and they all flew up in air like Cinsese dragon, and circle for Naruto! His girls lift of, and there was sureal kunai attackings between the girls, twisting and spiral ling like madness of tragic heros midn. Naruto took them back out of range for big kunai barage from Ami and tenten, but Shino did another justu and his girls streched all the way and Hinata hit Samui in the arm with a Byakuan sritek! Smaui cood no longer make fist with that hand. Tenten went for a kunai atacking but the Shino's girls twisted away, and there was a justsu surge and the girls made hand signes, and Hinata used a huge fire breathing justu! Samui did a water stream jutsu to help as they did a rocketfire boost dodge, but it was close. "Yakumo, Shiznue! Go!" They noddid, and Yakumo caught Hinatas eye, and did a gnjustu on her, so that Hinata felt like she was floating with wild uncontrol. used a different virshun of her poisoun mist justu, a slower kind but still

Shizune strong and Hinata went right into it! Shino see this and curse his luck then do carzy thing! He grunted anda swung his girls so that Hinata knocked against a tree, and then did it again a bit later/! "That wsas a good plan, but I know you cant' thik ahead Naruto! This battle will be mine!" It seemed Hinata was alert again, and her Bakugan was off. Then Shinos' girls had their kunai out again, aand Shino was of being do for the nixt big justu! "Here we go, Humen Sentipede Formation: Burrowing stingure!" Then Shinos Girls Began tO spin like drill, faster and faster as they chase oafter naruto till they was becomeing for the blur,. Ami used a fire charka kunai for the throwings, but it was defleteced and the exploshin was blown away by the spiining winds . Theire was perising wine from ultra spinning, and Shino yelledt as they charged forwards, but it was a missing! Then Hinata blecht firebreathing Justu again, and the girl became for a being of the flamey drill!

"We have to break that technique!" SAmui said. "We no have chance otherwise!"

"Alright!" Said naruto. '"Ami and Tenten; Combo three!" Naruto gave a big surge of charka thrugh to them, and they made the handsigns, and give yeel like twins, "Legendary Collabo Justu: Reverse Meteor Tekchneke!" There was a rumble, and a big globe of earth shot up, that became was flamey and there was a big anime fire explosion, and the Reverse meteor broke up and was in the explodication made small caraaters with the rubble. It stopped Shino and his girls in theire tracks! But, Hinata was reely hurt! And overall, his girls lookt kinda beat up. Ami adn Tenten were panting from their justu, being of the tiredness.

"Quite the irmpsessive justu, but I'm not done yet naruto!" Shino made more hand signs, and call with epicness:"Hiddein Insect Style- Apocalips Plage!" there was bubly surge thrugh Shinos' girls, and then a huge swarm of his bugs pour from Hinata's mouth and eyes and ears. The bugs sperad and fly, to the blocking out of the sun, and then fall like pourings of buzzing black rane. Naruto and his girls cood no avoid this, and lots of the bugs got them.

"Naartuo!" Shizune look back and say, as Shino's bugs rain into her mouth. "So he gave her a big surge of charka after putting his fingers in her p*ssy, and then Shizune did a justu and made a big sphere of her poisun mist Jutsu around them. The bugs still rained in, but the poison got them and they fell off, and the bugs eating on Naruto's and girls charka were poisund too, and fell of. Then the poison cloud sirtfde aprat, and it was Hinata coming in for Bakugan attackings! But Tenten and Ami faught her off, and Ami used big a punch to Hinatas' chin. But Hinatan and the other girls strechedt again, and with surpisings wrapped around Naruto with sexy swqueekings! They lifted him up for big smahs on the ground, but Samui jump up from Tenten and sock Shino hard in face., then mount his girl and give him beat down. It contunie for a bit, but then Shino got his bugs and they aatacked her, and she fell off. Shino's girls unwraped naruto, but gave stelthy kunai attacing to Ami and Tenten.

"This ends NOOOOWWW!" Shizune yell with rage fumings, she hovered over Yakumo, and the Kurama girl put Hinata in another folaty genjutsu,; Shino sent his bugs at Shizune but she used a big charka scalpeilto slahs them and flew past Shino with an anime slashing of her chakra scalpels, and Ami threw more fire charka kunai, that explodicated. Both naruto and Shinos' harems dirfted down, tired. But suddenly Shino was blediated, and bug flew from a woond on his stomik. "I... I sureender," He moaned with defeat. For a wihel they all laid in wasteland from the bi g justus, then Shizune got back up. She started by heal of a girl from Shino's team, who she new was trained in medic justu, and then they healed Hinatan and everyone else all they cood.

"The girl on my list was Hinata," Yurika wispered to naruto. He noddid, then walk aaround to help everyone into sitting posishin.

"So who do you claim for your victorywinigsn, Naruto?" Naruto looked at Shinos' girls, knowing he had a good harem, but he aldready knew his pick.

"I- Id' like to claim Hinata," Naruto saed with falksed confidents. But Hinatan noddid ladyishly, and limpt over to Narutos' harem. "And remind me to never make Shino angryi," Naruto saed, and everybody gave tired chucklings.

"Um," Hiatan spoke up, " I notised near the end with my Bakugan our base is still intact. We have some moer healingsu supiles there." To they noddid, and went oveir past the craters into woods for finding of the base of Shinso' harems. Was short walk that feel ias if mile, was all so tired, but they made it, and Shizune and Hinata and the girl with long dark hair hlept aplie ointemints and badniges, and all just chilaxed for a litle wile. But then it was lunch time, and Narutos' harem said there goodbies and lifted of for theire base. This flight seemd vrry qwuik, and before he new it Naruto was snacking it up with his girls on the Hokafe's head. Thair was a cupple awkwerd momints afte, but Naruto new he shoudl do some things and he and Ami went to his tent, and he recharged her. After Ami Tenten came in, and he recharged her too. But now NAWuto was tired from recharging her, so he snugglet with Tenten, and they both anpt together, in cozy sleepings.

It was being the afternonnings when they woekt up, and Tenten kiss Naruto before the smile of being to leave his tent. Anrtuo yawnd and stretcht, and step outside for air freshings. The sky seemdt like virgin lover who did not now the pain reaching up into it, and Naruto sied. But then he heard shy cofings to his side, and saw aat Hinata. "Naruto..." Hinata was blush like Spirng rose buds, and loked oat the ground. "I... I think we should..." SO Naruto bulsht too, and lokkted away. "Ah uh, lets, lets' step into my tent thin," Naruto sed withs chucly nervusneiss. They went in and sat down., and Hinatan blusht evin moer, but held naurot's hand and look into his eyes. She scooted colser, and put her arm arund nrtoaA, and strated breething hevy. "Naruto, I love you..."

"I..." This was almost surpise to Naurto, he new Hinata act weierd arund hom. , and she was good friend. "Th- that means a lot, hinata. Thanks. I- I..."

"I now you like Sakura naruto, you dont have to lie..." "No I do liek her, i just... now that you're here I kinda realize I like you too, Hinata." Love filed the air bwetewn them, and slowyl Hinata lean for being of the kiss, and fall with Naruto onto blankist. It was hot with the longins, and beautifl like Sumer breze. Hinata kisst with the happy monings, and taket naruots' hand and gided it over hier body. "I want tis to beyores, all of it., forever... every inch of me..." After more soft kissings Hinata began to grind on Naruto a litle, felling him getting a shape; so she sat up, and careist Narutos' b*lls and penis, getting him to his full shape. She took shalow breths, then cloest her eys and slowly put naruto's shape in her p*ssy, up into her girly tube. "Aaaahhh, ah NarutoooOOH! Yes, oh yes..." Hinata went slow with her sexings at first, but after the claiming justu makr falshed on her back she became hungry with her sexings, puling naruto to sit up with her, holding him close to her bosinm as she moaned and sexed him like her life depinded on it. Naruto put his hands on her hips and slowly lickt and kissed on Hinata's breastices, getting the flavor of the girl wo loved him so much; she tasted like the victory of the first flower after Winter.; like sparkling dew after and Pril sower. Hinata was feeling the sexiness build up and, flow from evry part of her to her girly parts in a waves, and soon it all overfloed before she cood thinkf ofa ahislgn it aon, and Hinatan gave lusty monings into narutos' era, and the gripings of hinats' girly musels made naruto Staarat to throb in her. Hinata collapse into mess of happy lustings, kising Naurto and wispering "THank you o" over andover.

Hinata cuddlt with naruto a wile, but they new it was of the beocming time for the was evningsuuper meal, so they went out and strated up the cmap fire, Tenten and Yakump came. out and helped to make the soup. "You no being oggd of the cooks, Nartuo." He object but now they right, and so pertend to be anrgy as the girls put veggies and bits of Konoha mountin oysters in it, but it began to smel reely good so he drop act.

"So, Hinat" So"So," Hinata beaing, "Nonami and Momoka were fire relese users, and Akira was a medic nin, but what are everyones' talints here"? "I'm a genjustu user" Yakumo saed. "And I used lots of weppuns from my scrolls, remember?"

"Ami's pretty good with the ierf Justu, and Smaui's cool with the planings and Water Jutsu. And of corse ou know Shiznue; and Yurika's good with the planings too, and she can scan the area and tell if any harems or people are arund, kinda like your Byakuan, and she can tell what charka nature poeple have too." "I wonder what my chakra Nartue is," Yakupmo and Hiatana wispeed like twins.

"Yurkia couod problya tell in a little bit," Tenten saed. Yakump nodds, and ands another punch of herbs to the soup. 'I have Earth nateru charka." The the supper was made, the girls being talked off silly stuff like purses and there favorite panties and farts. Naruto shake hed nad tune them out, and enjoy the good cookings of Yakumo and Tenten anda Hinata.

It was fun and silly meal, and Naruto went back into then his happey. It was big day, with epic harem battle and clameing Hinata. He thinkd of the girls in his harem, how he was statring to like Tenten how Yakumo and Shizune liked him. Oh, and Ami! I cunt leve herout of this becomings, sehs' worked so hard. I should go an tlakto her. But Naruto yawned with tiredniss. After I take a lidtel nap.

Bute it nowas smallish nap, stars and arkness bacem the sky when naruto left his tent. Suddinly, he could feel the watchings again.! "Cum down, and we can talk! It's naruto Uzmkai! " So Nartuo herad peebls tumble down asa persun aproached, then a silky landings behind a tent,. They shufflt forwersd, adn in the firelihgt Nartuo could see pserun was wering stelthy colths and had orengre hair. "Who are you?" The pisrons pullet up there mask, and it was a girl- and she lookt familiar, more grone up. She took of her hat, and shook out her hairs. "It's me Sasame, nartuo- do you remeber? From the Fuma clan?"

"Oh- that's you, Saasme? That was so long ago I almost frogt. " "So whut brgins you here.?"

"Well, I got permission from the eldres to trane a broad, almost as soon as you left, so ive bin in Konoa for a while. People don't trust outsider ninja, reely, but I've gotten by; I have a cupple frends at the Interrogaation Divishin I've teamed with for mishins."

"You got to do mishins?" "Just the small stuf, nothing too important- I'm fomr another cuntry, rember? But I got assigned to the Interragation Divshin in the war... and then this happened. I wasn't paired up at the start and Ive been on the run avoiding crepes since."

"Or have you bene on teh run? I felt someone waching us yesturday." "Heh, you caoat me. I'd seen you flying to and rrfnum heer, and took a peeke. Seme s like a nice group you've got here..."

"Yeah, theyur grrrreat!(tm) Ive nown most of them for a wile, so we're mostly all frends."

"You guys seemed pritty colse." Sesame was silents for a minnet, but then walkt arund the fier to Nartuo's side'. "Whot I guess Im askinf is to join yore group, maruto. Cood I?" Naruto did not have to think aboot it, as ushoal.

"Of coares, Samse." "Than elts go to your tent, and- you can ehm, clame me." Oh yeah, that. Uhem. So Naruto lead the whey, and once in his thent sasaMe took a li tiny lite from a pocket and turned it on, and put it on the flore. It was okay to see iwth. In feeling of slow moshin to naRuto, Samsea stript downreveeling her nice athetlitc shape. "How do I look?" Sasame askt with wienk,. She spred open her legs, and leened her hed back. She looked of the sexy to Naruto, and he got a shape, fast. He carefly put his shape in sasme's vagian, adn she pulled him down on top of her, and he began to sex her egntly.

"Iam not made of glass, Naruto. Cum on." Sasame gaspt ,ands as Naaruto increset his sexings, and and wraped her legs arond his back, and just then the claime mark activated. "Hnnnnyuhh, UHHH! O.K., I thinkt it went..." Nartuo pullt out, and lade on his sied nexto saSasame. "So now I'm yourse... maebe we'll finsh this ladter..," Then Sasame wraped arm of sleepings over naruto, and dirfted off into the dreamy.

DAY 4;

nARUTO OPPS Naruot woke up with Sasame in his amrs. It alsmot surpised him but then he remembred the night and how she joint his Harme. "Sesaame," Naruto wispered with wakings. He wisperd gin, nad she opeind her eyes. "Wakey eaeky,"

"Good morning Naruto. Sleep good?" Sasame askt wink eye smilings. "Uh-huh." Sasame sat up and streched

"Let's get somethings to eat," Nartuo noddid and left hies tent with SasmseTenten and Yakumo and the girl s wure alredy up, sitting arond the campfire, boilong watier for sume oaafmeale. Yurika saw Sasame, and gaspt.

"What bold is this, how is she heure?" "Huh?" "The interrogatshin Divishon calls her the Orange Demon, it's literally impossible for you to know her!"

"Sasame, I thouth you saide you didn't do any inportin mishins."

"Well, I don't know much importaint to Konoa, but I know plenty about the other nations, I put it that waye."

"But, Orenge Demone?"

"...I knewo a couple useful seasl. And I resently leernad the Charka Thred a teknique, too". "Really, iVe just bene wurikng ond abeing ads betetr Inaja for my Clan. i lerned a oithere aand Inoha."

"Well, you've certinly been a help to us. I'm glad yore on hour side," Yurika said with nohoisty. Shizune and Samui nod with agreemints, and Yakumop pourt in the oats for teh oafmeal.

"So, what's ourh paln of acshink today?" Ami askt.

"Well, today I thought Ide start on teaching you guise the Rasegan, and we could jsut chill and hang out."

"Sonds gould to me. How does the Rasegan work?" "There are two important parts; The speedy rotashion, and the power! Jiryaiya helpt me lern the roathisn by using water baloons, and when i cood roate the water fast enough so the blaoon poppt, then I had that down. Oh- but its not just in ond erictshin, its in sevrail. For the poewer, he had me use arubber ball and when I cood burst that I had the power! Adn last. he I hade to cumbine thpse steps withot brakeing a baolln."

"And then after that, the RageShuriker!" Tenten saed. "No, I was thinking Safe Mode after that, and then maybe the RaaenShurknei."

"Oh, Senjustu?" Shizune askt with surosied interstings. Yeah", I thoawt of an sintersting way to show you gise in a dream. But it takes big work like the Rasgnas does." "See, you have to hone You spenis, and have the charka cuntrol to mix the anture energy with yore own chakra, just the right way. It can be dangeros if you get it rongw."

"Like how"? Shizune was being of the asket. "You coodl turn into a frog stahsue of stone., for the permanint. And The Grate Tode Safe saide you need big charka reserves, but I dunnokw aboot that. You gise seem strong to me!"

"And how do you gather the natural energy?" Shiznue asakt, with serios intesrt.

"You have to be still with no movings, and fokis." So now the oafmeale was being for the done to eating, so everyone got out their hcopstics and ate. When none was lokking Shiznue mixet some of the Choclit douche with hers, and added a few drops of Narutos' love juice. It was qwiuik serios meal, not erraly talking except aboto who wood get nartuo first in the eveninf.

The morning paasst with Rasegna trainings, the speedr torations beinf og the wirnd on. Narutos seed none wirkesd on harder thina Yakump, she tried reely hard, and he cood tell from using Rasgne she prttiy much had rotashin down arleddy! I t made hiem smile. Teh other girls was doing swell aslo, and Naruot new they would learn Rasgnea soon too.. He sawed at Ami, who had a prtitty purple charka colur, and walkt to her. Her Rasgene swirlingrs were most of one eretcino, and he ask of this.

"Oh I'm... just doing it one step at a tome. and sowly work it in other direcshons., and then go for the peeds. How did you do it?" "Oh, I had a bunch of colnes to help of my fro the traneing. " And..."AAdn Ami, go you fly with me to pick up some rubber balls in the village?"

"Sure. You wama leve sone?" "Yeah, I wasnted to get my rubber balls before lunch." Ami Raegan spinningsdispate, and shflip off with Naruto. "Anduhd, Ami? I gseuu um, thanks for being suck a bid jelo in the batles."

"Thakns, Naruto,. I'm ashually strating to have fun with this woleh thinsd, I dont mond. Now lets' get reddy..." Ami kneelt down and strepked Naruto's b*lls and penis, helping him get into a shape. Ami toke spme tume to sex Naruto's shape with her mouth, gonring. "Mmnnmmmmrhh. Alrite, stick me up, Naruto!" Nartuo obayed, and for a moment forgti he was to fly and buy balls, and sexed Ami with cloesd eyes, then remembre and open and call "LIFTOOFF!"

Maenwilhe, the srost of Narutos' ahwm was finishing up thaier Reasgna rotatshon parfice. "And Naruto lerned tisht in less than a week? Ugh." Shiznue saed.

"We'll have to maek him tell us how when he gets back.,"Tenten addid.

"Yeah, hold him down and ticle it out of him," Shizune sayd. The girls lookt at her al weierd and of bieng with teh eyebrow rasings. "I"M #! AND SINGLE DAAMOT! GIME A BRAKE! aAuhem. I mean, it would be a fun bonding exprience for us."

"But who wouod do the tickling?" Tenten askt. "Weed need the strongur girls to hold him down, so maybe me..."

"I- i wood like to tickle him..." "We all know you wood Hinatan, your vote dosent cunt. So-"

"I mite do it, I new how to tickle back in my yunger days," Yurika sed.

"AACHHOOOO!" The girls lookt to Sasme. "Oh soryr, I'm alergoc to bul sjop. I've seen yor file, so if you new how ti tickle anywun inst you-" What you say?" "Just asiyan meebe maybe one uf is yunger giels shood do it."

"Well, as oldist I thinl I have the right to ticle him," Shizune conpustulated. Sasame fake sneezt agin.

"Maybw qe cood take turns ticlinsg him?" Samui suffestit.

"And I wood fo girst," Shizune qwickly saed. "No, me!" Sasame sed. Theu pingdongt noes adn yaesdf like epic tenos mach then Sasme leapt for srangle Shiznue, and then all teh girls got rollet up in big anime dust cloud of fightons,

"yellsing "No, me FRIST!" roling arond the camp until Yakpmp fartid. "That wasnt mine," Tenten saed. "I now it wassent, yore but is in mt faaec!" Shiznue sayd. They all untagnel from ball of figthuns And Smaiu give glanec to Yakumo.

Shizune sied. "Well, well' jstu see wot happins wen they geit bacl." And just then, Ami and Nartuo returned from theiar qwuicktrip!.

H"Hey gise, I got some balls for Reasnga trainging!" Ami toke them fomr naruot and put tem in the stroage rock place, and Nartuo sawed at the girls heds swivle to hem. "WHut, whot did Ie do?"

Shizune used her fast lungisng for him, and taklet him to begin the ticlinsg. "H The othir gerls jumpt on to him, garbbsind at him too,. "Tell us how you did it," Shizune askt, tickling Narutos ribs.

"Hah aehu- d- did what?" "How you lerned the Rasgane so fast!" Ho "Oohue- I" But Naruto cood not anser for his ticled laffings, wich Ami now see and join in on, givong him a noogie. Narutso was brineg for the tickles by all grosl, Samui had for the left fppt ticlings, Hinata was of the secritly ticlikng his b*lls and thies, Sasame was twibblet his rite armpit, and HSiznue smielt down on heim as she ticklt his rins, and then gave him big happy older sister kiss on lips.

"W"ell make you cunfess afteur lunch.," Shizune ased. So narrtuo and the grosl had spme snackulaatings, protein abars and fruit, nuthinsg hevay. It lwas light cheery mood of the harem, fsot since all was gohery. The circle sittinsg aboot the cauntfire remindit Naruto of his dreeme dor the sage Jstus teachinsf. So he told them of this. "Reddy to try itr?" They assinted, adn Naruto oat down between Ami adn Shizune.

"So umg, first well' al nede to be cuntectidso..." ANrtuo put his fingers into Aim's and Shizuens' p*ssies beginoidng to send his Charka into theim. AAAl arond then fire place they cunteditj fingers squiglins into p*ssies like wurms inth rich feriotel sole. "Now be as stoll ais you canl, moshinless..." Naruot stiled himself, and began to gatither the archual enrgy seh sinsed arond him. It seped in, and h begain to pusas it along to the otheris, and he heard Kiba singing in his head.

"Kumbaya,my Kafe, Kumbaya... I wont' evfin askt whut Ime interuptomg, Ill' jstu snach Yakumo and be on my way."

"Kiba, my conshense sounds li- hey! " ANrutoopinet his aeaiys, and sawed at kiba floeting behind Akamaru, with his siter hAna ridong on teh dog. "Hm- waia, oh FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-" Hinata thowat Naruto was under a genjust becoase of shis scremeings, and then saw Akamaru and Kiba. It made her disapoint.

"So yore back agina?" Yakumo askt with dager stares.

"Wede be unstoplabe, Yakumo! I have to maek to youse the light!" "No! Ime hapy with Nartuo and his girls, go away befoer I make you regert it." Yakump slapt Naruto to sense. "Wevea got a batle, Naruto. G- get big for me... I nede you now." Naruto guplt and toucht himself to get a shape, and Yakmup trunt and sqot for him. He stood(geddit) and thrustid into her girly tube, and there was a anime falsh of ligth as Yakmous poers bigan to aamp up. "Hnnnggghh, uhhhh ohh! Yes... see, Kiba! see how good this maeks me feel?"

"Fistful of Ryo says you're fakinf it. I wood trete you good Yakumo! I know how talinted and farglie you are, you dont nede some wilkd and carziy nucklehead like Nartuo!"

"Anruot DOES teat me good, Kiba! He tearts all of us good!"

"BUT HE FREICKIN NARUTO UZUMAKO! He,.. n00b when it cums to sexing! "

"N00b? Theres' 8 of us Kiba! And on top of that, you shood hear how he maeks them one! I knowe for a fact he no n00b, because we fuct TWICE after he snacht my V-card!"

"I don't beleve you, becuz whatu youer saying is imposible! I and Ive herd enouff!" Kiba shuvt his fingers into Hanas' p*ssy, and sexed her hard for a momint. She moant a bit, gruntind and cluching Akamura. "See this,? This cood be you Yakumo! Now its' tyme!" Kiba gave big suegr of Charka to hana and Akamaru, and raised his voise for holy vengense: "If i caunt hae you nome can! Triune hevnly Fang!" Kiba and Hana and Akmrau began to spin like epic saw, buzzing with penis juice of hate rage. It raget foerwerds like flaming dildo to alsebian anus, striping away the rock crown wall on the Hokafes' head, with onmus chantinf musoc of backround, but whenit came to Yamkuo she stopt Akamaru with one finger!

"Time to wake up.," She saed with epic dedpane.

"Huh? wha- expolding tag on my- when did AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!~" Then the genjustu boomed apart, and kiba was faceup on rock with a anime explodey balck face. " Yakumo leanet down tow isper in Kibas ere. "Narutos' givne my beger bangs than that."

Kiba blinkt and began to cry manly tears of defete. "I- I... Dammit you win this one Nartuo..." There was extearm awrwards, because of who Nartuo cood cheweos from.

"Kiba., were frends and all but... Ime sorry. I just cant do it with a dog. Hana, I choose yweo for mt vicoty winnigs." she Noddid and walkt over to beside nartuo, blusling with hot emabrasd.

"So all that was genjutsu?" Ami was being askting.

"Yes, my genjustu is my clans kekaey gaknei., of beong super stpng." Shizune walkt over, adn towe beaing the ceokc up of Kiba.

I"m fine, just gime a miote Shizune." But Shiznue use qwuik green gowly plam Justu on him anyways, and Kiba blinkt to being of the beter. He sit up with gornings. "Say.., now that I'm hear, you gise wodent have sumtehimf I cood sknack on, woood yew?" They did, and sharet sume befe jerkt with him and Hana, bfore the awkerd got too much and Kiba ha dto go.

"So," Naruot saed with distarcings, "Dogs to animuls, animals mete, meat to flavorinsg, floarvors to sage, sage to Sage Mofe! Whose reddy to staart the practose gain?"

I was awkerd at first, but afert Naruto explinard to Hana and all was shiting for awlihe in still, it becaome goo feling, And Shizune and teh gorils began to undrestans what safe mose was aboot. The snjustu taneing toke a wilhe, so it was being of the evning, and girls oje at eachotiur and nod. Kiba sister Hana folwed Naruto to his tnet, steping inside with him. "Wahot you want to talk of, Hana."'

"Not too micf, but... you not ofichslia cliam me."

This is kinda an aweusm probleim to have... Naruto thouth with male pevertings. "Well , alrite, um..." "Don't overthink it, just cum at me." Hana let her haeri down, and pulled Naruto to her with the Secret Woman Grip...

DAY 5:

Naruto awoiek, wraped in the warm touchings of Hana, her arms and legs felling jsut rite arond him. It fele good an sleepy cofrtimbale, so he colse eyes and rest of her storking Hanas' hair and sexy shape of back. But hana traned well of ninja, and even happy lite tuch as this wake her. "WHe- oh, ohhh. Good morning, Naruto. " "Good morning, Hana." Naruto was aboot to say someting else, But Hana kisst him sowl, with smooth tongue that raise dwan of libido. Then, he reelized his shape was alreedy niside Hana- they had of being to fall aslepe that way. The kiss was of making him shape agina, achey but growing with revied lustings. Hanar rollt them to her on top agin, her hair over dark eyes being an extreem sexyniss. Naruto gave her a slow sexing, and Hana mone "Just liek tihs , for a while..."

Menewile, his other girls were of light brekfist and into sharp tarinings. Shizune and Samui led them in hadn to haadan traneing, but Yakumo was off to the side wokring on her Rennigans rotatshin with the balls. It was qwuiet but hard work for her, to have this justu. She wasent the musle strong like Samui or Ami, so Yakumo felt extra nede to compleet the Rasgnea.

"Are they evne awear things oare happing outsied the tinet?" Sasame askt, with supishons. "I don't think so," Ami repide. "Oh- tartsing to move agin."

"I diddent think Naruto was this kind of gir- guy. I ment guy. " Tenten saed.

"It I think it' si of being more that for Hana is that kind of girl." Shizune said, as she deumnstraatid the Grasping Boar Anus kata. "The inuzukas are... a helthy clan."

Tenten smirkt. "Well, that would explain Kiba." Tenten blockt with her C*it. "Almost."

"Spekeing of helthy, I think Naruto will need a day off soon, to rest his groin musels and prostate." Shizune sujestid.

..."Heel nede it," Sasame herd Hinata iwisper, wich made her chortle to the missing of an atacking from Yurika, to her face. "OOf!"

"Yore gard was down, I went for it." Yurika saed with shook her hed with determint revenging,s and began to go thrugh the Anus Phoenix Tribunal kata with Yurika again. As morning wore on, the Okona girls wueer suprisert to see Shiznue knwe so meny kata, and Tenten askt of this. "I had to do something wlieh Laddy Tsunasde was past out; and sumteiomse Iw ortk on them with her."

"Is naruto Uzumali heer?" They all turnt to look, and seed at a gurlei who was satnding on the wall:- karin!"

"Hes' here, bute he's occupied rite now, Karin." Saed Shiznue. "Well, cood I hang arond here? Gise have bene chasing me, thoagt maybe I cood blend in with you.

"Ime shure Naruto wood sayes," Hinata ansired. Teh other girls noddid with agreings. "It shood be O.K."

"Thanks." Karin hopt down, and walkt into the gorpe. "So whats' goind on? lokks liek a worktuo." "Oh, just worinkg on some kata, maybe then the Rasegna "

"What, you all konw the Rasengan?" "No but were workinf on ti., and Sage Mose too/" "Heh, sing me up!"

"How aer thinsg going down belwo?" Sasame was beginof the askt.

"Insane. Only a few gise have desnt sizt gruops, and all us singel girls are on the run from the other gies.; some of us haev formt grupes."

"Who are tohse gise with gupres" AMi was for the wonderinf. "Lets see, Kakashi, Kiler B, and some gui named Shino., I herd they have sevril." Kainr lookt arond. "Semes Naruto isent doin so bad eithre." "Nope"

Karin then jointedt on on the Kata traening, but sat backt o wacth with the Rasengan taenings, It semed to her they all were doing gode with it, from what ejes knwe of the Sraenga. They broek for lunch, it beign instant ranem with prol and veaggies. oi Aftere they was to workt on Sage stuf agina,, and Hana finaly came. Out of Nartuo's eitn. Naruto wasent far behind, and he helpt them agina with felling the nartula energy, and started the teling of how be to absrobs wehn he caledt for snackulation baerk.

Kainr just had to notis how al gurls siemt to be of easy, relaxicating,. and make desishon. Sh e no saye, but keep lerning of teh nartusl enrgy with others . When they stopt for the day Kainr sawed of breif isntent lokk in Shinzue's eiys, but it pass when she lokkt o Nartuo, who she smile of **cking order in groupw, Kainr began to inctrodune hersilf to the rest of Narutos harem. Take note she did of spishius looks from Sasme And Yurika, in corner of noticinsg. But still she continue of was being talking, with Hinata and Tenten. But then she was of making silly chlicke escuse, "I must bring for the bathroom usings, I leve for a bit."

"Sure. Will you be cumming bacl?" Askt Naruto. "Yups, in a jiffy." "Seeing ya!" But Kainr wa sno reely for teh baffrom- she was being new then Nartuo was nice gie, and for being was to get a grupe of uncalmed girls to cume to him.! Menewlihe in the base, all wure streching fomr being stiff bicause of sitting for the sage stuff so long, nice poses and relaxicated gornings; and Shiznue made sure to strech pose nere nAruto. He no miss this, bute fokis on his own relaxicating streches, insted of geting shape form a look-se of Shizune. Shizune no mimis this, and sotp to talked with him.

"Naruto, cood we cudle tonite? Maybe efen sumething else if you... up for it?" "Uh, well..." Shiznue's sexiniss was a bit embarasing agina, but he new she was good for the gorn-up nicings. "Sure, but, Ime... starting to get tired, ynow..." Shizune smiledt dan give naruto A tendre kiis of the foreheda, then winkt. "See you later." Shiznue walkt of to her own tinte then. Naruto feel toucht Shiznue was nice of him, and now thinkt of how Hinatan was loved with him. It made mih depe hapy to know poeple was thinkt this of hem, and he vow to sefl to proticet his girls for as ong he cood.

Then to help with war and teme untiy, he start game of Six degreis of Tobi with, girls, to make of conectshins to evli mastbind, and also for frun.

"Okay, how aboot this! You no cunest this girl!" Saed nartuo, with confisdens. "Moegi!"

"You, and frum you to Tubi." Saod Tenten. He gigglet as Naruto gave anmiem rage fumings, but then they hear grupe aproach over wall... it Was kainr- but with five otuher girls!

"You now how it is when girls mete in teh baffrom... they endid up cuming aloing." Ami facepalmt, Groning at teh ovbious lye. ,..that Naruto diddent cach.

"Im'e guessing you all nede a pleace to stay the night?" Kairn noddid, and Naruto lookted at the other gorls. It tokk a minnet, but with a jolt of memory shockinsg, he nw he new two of them! Isaribi, the fishy girl, and Tamaki, the weppin shop girl from abandinde citty.! The otheirs had filler lokk, but seme nice enuff, kindta faliyur. "...and I dont now if there are any condishinsd for yore group, but I think a lote of us wood liek to joine. Cood we?"

"Well, the only condishin is to work wive overyone else to be a team. Can yo doo that?"

They all noddid.

"Thein you can join." The awkerd explodicated like pugnacious anus lure, and Sasame coufgth. "So, if you wanto be clamed, uh- now whut I'll be in my tent." Karin and Iasribi and one of teh "filer" gurls folowed, she had kinda wavy brown hair, and she was being born under a blud red moon, prohesied to uber gradn hero of none to remebre by Vince Russo during 3rd Nigga war... her wrath is liek was for being stung by forgotten momery of hornit, her love like the fire of burning p*ssy hair, and her skill in batle as legndry as a frumiousjubjub bird...

"My name is Risa Michoku," Saied the "filer" girl. Naruto was seed she had super fit shape, not too smalle as wa ushulal. She flipt her hair over her sholder, and came. down to Naruto, slowyl easing onto his shape. She stared him in eye as the sexed with wantings, untel the clame maark falshed on her back. She give smile and then get up, aand Isaribi came. Over, Naruto seeing she was no more of the scales on her sikn.!

"...found you agina..." Irasibi wisperedt with passhin, evneloping naRuto depe inside her. Her sexings was squeezy and hard, and mark sone falashed on her back. She got up for Karni, had thies of teh sexy that Naruto rubt for a bit as they sexed, but Karin got off. when her clame mark flashed. She got up, and Isaribi lean in for qwuick determint hard kiss on Naruto's lips before they left, and the otheru 3 gorsl came. in to Naruto's tent. Tamaki went furst, her breastices jigglinf as she sexted on Naruto, and another of teh f"filler" gorls had a shape with same sizinds as Hinata, and she had pritty blue eyes and daork brown harei. her booger alsmot made Naruto trohb in her, but hte clame mark flash, and she lickt her lips and got up. The secunt "filer" girl had good avrige shape, and a long bob cut for her dark pirple hair. She curtsied, and called herself of being named Goro Tenchihana. She gript Naruto with strenght of 4 arms as she sexted him, and gave naruto nedey look as she got up, one that say this was no just lcame.

"I- nede aminnet, gurs..." They noddid, and after they left Naruto took dpee breth and rubbet his achey shape with soothings. He wipet his hands on wipey colth, then chilaxt upon his [illow. These girls were big surpise, and he wsa of the tired now, his shape shrinking like a wflower clolsing it spetals for the day. , reseding liek clouds as sun part them after a strom.

Maenwhile, outside, big itnrodutcions were in oder. The girls mingled, Risa mikaing fast frends with Hinata and Samui, wile Goro lasft it up with Ami and Tenten. Yurika became for the diner prepasing, and Yakumo snakey move over to chat as did she so. Yurika", she begina., "You can tell of charka natires, right?" Not normaaly, just hen my powers ar actovated. "Is nature energo have a nature?" "No, it... more like al cumbine, and stile difrent."

"Do you now what my chakra nature is? I is being of the want to now fow aa while." Yakump askt, as they get out big number of soups can fomr storage rock.

"Yores? Let me think/ aha, yes, its' Wind." "Ah, that nice. Just liek Naruto?" Yakumo eye smiledt, and Yurika smiledt back as the big cookey pot was procured. The twain set it op and was heard of the chatter from grupe, silly girl talk things about like if they poobic hair made them look fat, what color to die their sclera, and of course who wood get Naruto first after super.

It was epicly boring super, having to sharing basicly left of fude in staorage rock, and sexy tensino mastribated teh girls libidos' for Naruto. Naruto cood fele it like eager hand arond his penis, and girsl food se he was geting shape but with the hidind. Finly, Naruto just became of the tired, and went to his tinet, to relaxicate adn slepe.

Hede clost his eyes for the nightings, when Shizune snuct in. "Yous till awake?"

"Yeah." He scootid over a bit, and Shiznue cuddlet up at his side storking his harei. It was feleing of good to Nartuo. "Shizune, can you kepe a screit?" She noddid, and Naruto spole. "Its geting hard to kepe up with al these gurkls, I mean I like them and I now some of them like me, but I'm tired.

"Well, you can relix with me any time you want, Ile take good care of you..." Shizune strokt Narutose hair, and gave him gentle loevy kiss on lips. She held him in arm and lookt into his eyes. "I meant when I sead you were mine. I'm going to do waht I can to keep you now, even aftre tihst is over. I know how strong you are, and want to be, an all i've wanted to do since I know you is help for that."

"Shizune..." The two had a few moer slow tiredt kissings, then cuddled of close for night.

DAY 6;

Naruto mokew up with Shizune in arms, and feeld a depe for her, efen if she was nosy someitmes, he did no move, and just enojy holding her, breeth in her.

And then Yurika open tent falp and cal N"Naruto!"

"Hmmneh?"

"I receved a message dove, from a Nadeshiko Village place, it sad was for the urgent.!" "Oh, uh, gimme just a secunt." Yurika nod and leave the tent fap alone, to be of the leavigns. "Go get em'" Shizune saed, and gaev Naruto depe lovey kids. She slapt naruto on teh fanny and he say "hey,!" and made fake frowny face and left for the outside. Isaribi was Imediyately on his d*ck, sucking it like mad.

"THE FIHS SMELL I HAD TO DO SOMETING ABOOT IT! Yurika yelled" You try sharing atent with her!" Yurika cought, and extendid her hand to Naruto." But the pijing mail was real, I got it a few minnets ago. "

Naruto toke it, and unrollet the small paper, "I have lerned of the game, as the justu was boradcast to al nations, and a local medic placedt the claiming justu on me as well. But you see, there is still my problem of having asuitable husbind.; an none who would clame me had the... talent. But I know of yore effirts in teh war, and if anyone cod hope to defete Tobi, I perceve it is you. So I travile to Konoa, with this offer of myself to join with you. I shood arive, within the dya you recevei this. Sined, Shizuka? Shizuka, that sounds... of oh, form Nadeshiko Village! Her, with the mariije prochecy agina... gehuuyhh." Naaruto shivert Isaribi stopt then,.

"Aw man this girls no joke, I hope I don't have to fight her agina." Naruto was shookt his head, and skeeted to Yurika. "Well, I gunna hed down to get some more suplies, were getting really low already"

"Ah, cood I fly you down there?" "Well, uh, don't tell the other girls bu I kinda nede to erm- rest, so I'll pass on the flying right. now."

"No, its' all right, Shizune mentshined you would nede some breaak time. I'le let you now if Shizuka gets here before you return." "Cool, thanks. See ya!"

So nAruto hopt over the crown wall on the head, and raan the down on being rocky for the momunetn. In momints he came. To the vilage. Againa, there was a long line at the nigger tole store,the racks of wepunz liokng emptier and epmotier. A gie with an arfo went away with loadas of stuff and Nartuo wanted to take some of the cuel looking wepunz he had. But surpisingl there wure still enough, so Naruto pict some up and threw down aa ryo and chnge. Next up was the food market, and he made sevril clones before heading in. Vaggies, bred, bits of meat, seaweed flavored creal,along with menstruation flavored protein shakes for himself.

Next he was to stopt by other suplie shop, for the campings gear,- tinets, firestarters, and then he weint to the homey store to buy moer blankits and pillows, and picture frames for Tenten photoshopt pics. Naruto waantid to forgit the one of Guy-sensei and Neji, but coodent. Thinking of Sakura helpt though, so he thougth of her as he went to the library for ninjustu bokes- he wanted to lern more justu with his haarem, maybe lern some of space-time like for was to being of the Tobi potentially cood the way out, he bumpt into Kakashi again, who also had lots of bags agina.

"Ohai, sensei! G'morning!"

"Morning, naruto. I see youre gonna be busy. Wel" Well," todays abig day. I got some new members of to for my team, and I got a letter saying another girl is ucming today."

"The more the mierrier.," Kakashi saed. "I cood say same of you! I bet I now how you kepe those pussies from meowing , you stuff their mouths with"

"I'm not as desprit as Kiba, Naruto. and there are, I'll just say Ichi Icha has been taught me useful. "

"You'd have to be half alien to do some of that stuff!"

"...and that's were the transformaation Justu comesin handy. In ay case, I think the time is ucming. "

"What do you mena, the time?"

You don't know? Me and you are tied for first here in Honoka. Once Killer B landed the Mizukage, he dropped out, so we don't have to wory of him anymore.." "B-but... it caunt be!"

"You've got Yakumo and Sasame, so dont worry to much. Later!" Kakashi eye smiled, and walkt off to wherever. Naruto shake his head with firvent disbeleveings, and begin to walk back to the baase on the Hokafe's head. The shopeing trip tole a lot longer than he thought, and and it wa s passed braekfasat fime.

Surpisingly, the girls wure all doing Safe Mode training, sitting in a big cirdle arond the firepit. "Kumbaya, my Kage, Kumbaya,,. I don't even wanto now what I'me interupting, so I'le just snach Yakumo and split." The girls eye fly open as they hear Narutos' Kiba impreshion, and Yakumo made a scowly face at him for a momint. "So who wants to help make another storage rock for this.?" Tenten got up, and Risa and Hinata came. over to help put it away.

"Think oyuo cood help us with Sage Mose after we get all this tidied up.?" "Oh sure, of course., Risa. Theres some stuff I wanted to teech you al anywais."

:Did I just hear Naruto say teach?" Ami askt with teasings. "Yeah you herd me! I've taught people stuff aboot ninjustu before!

The girls gigglet, and Naruto made a scowly face, as he put away the stuffs. But it was short time, and after Tenten made another Stoarige rock Naruto asaw almost smiliey agina.i. Then he joint the circle between Goro andTenten., and explicated on the absopring of nature energy, and the blending of it. It was of boring things he say form memery, but he cood ferl the lernings at work in teh it was of being good.

But even after a refershing bit of relaxicating fokis with sssSame Mofe, I t was being of the for in the lick lucn time. As he was eatifying his Dubble Choclit Infinite Energy bars and his protein shakes., Shizune walkt over to sit besied him. "Naruto," She said, " I wood like to saty behind if you take the girls out, I feel like I'm close to getting the hang of Sage Mode and just nede a little more pratoce." "What, Safe Mode already? I dunno, but if you realy nede the time, okay." Saied Naruto, with skepticism.

"I... Naruto, being with Tsunade, I had to worry aoubt if things got bad for her, how wood I do... and all the remindings I do here... I, I just dream to myself that if Tsunade can't be there, I couod step up and be Kage in her place. Its' silly I know, but I think Ime almost there now." Shizune conpustulated. "Wdll, I bielieve in you." This time Naruto was for furrled Shiznue's ahir., andt smiledt at her. And then she snatcht his choclit bar from him and skippt away. "Hey!"

Goro and Hana came. over with Tenten. "Ae we gonna go for chase this afternoon?" Goro askt.

"Nah, I was planning on just chilling for a few days and tarining with you have a lot to work on, with so meny of us."

"If only the academy teecher s cood se you now," Tenten smiledt. "Whats that supposed to mean?" "Oh, dont woory aboot it. So what do you have planned?" Well, " saw this book at the librry called The Practical Shinobi, about applying basic ninjustu in tons of creaative ways, so I tought we cood work on some stuff fomr that."

"This'll be something," Goro saed with small excitings. "Traneing wiht Naruto!" Ive' bene a genin for a wihle... maybe this'll be te year!"

"Ah, I woodnet woory aboot being a genin- Ime one too!" "Naruto saeid with chuclings. m wicih Goro cod no beleive. The girl shaek her head with grinnings, and gaev Naruto a kiss. Agian she wa s stropng with her holdings bgeining to remind Naruto of Tsunade, then Tenten strated to stroek his hair and kiss his necks, and Hanas' fingers once agina found their way to his anus. Th suddin sene game Naruto a big, achey shape that felt hot aginst Gor's stomach. After a momint Goro kinda slid to the side a litle, and Tenten wiggledt on a bit, and they both started to kiss on his chekes and chin, while Hana once agina had acksess to Naruto's crotchular area. She tokk advantage if thos by suckling on the teat of Naruto's love milk, an eager pup hungry to be fed. She tickledt his b*lls like a kite playing with yarn.

And then they wure joinedt by Ami an Samui and Hinta, the sexiness spredding as the girls kisst each other a bit as they got closer to Naruto, who honistly dident now where up was. They writhed like sea of boiling love joiuce, and naruto was as a hooker caresst and blown by the wavey weather. Suddinly naruto felt 2 mouths on his shape, and Seed Risa's face and wavy brond hair over his before she kisst. Naruto felt Goro srippinsg on his but-tock left, and then they were even moear mouths and tongs all over him, sexing him lustily. Naruto felt liek he was in sleeping bag made of happy puppyies. And then one of the giorsl put his shape in her vagina, but he coodent tell who with all the groning and with Risa's hair over his eyes as she preitty much tried to eat his face(sexily).

Tokiwa lokked down o the seme, of the embrasedt. "Do I want to efen now what I'm interupting?" They all was shoct, and begin to serpatie. Anruto was spinnt rite side to head up, and Shizune got off his shape.

"Oh, sou you must be the shionbi who was cumming todayForgive us for not being ready." "Forigven. The whole vilage was like this, almsot,,, just less. " She turnedt o Naruto. "Mladdy Shizuka is not far behind. Shood I cunfirn yore here to here?" Tokiwa askt, with smooth noticings.

"Uh, eyah, thatd be grate." Tokwia noddid and left, and naruto flasht over to his tent to clene up, and the gorls blusht and lookt at each other and did the same. And just as Naruto remegjed from his tinet, Tokiwa came. back over the wall with Shizukea.

"Naruto, we finaly mete agina." Shizuka sadi. She smiledt and walked over, and gave Naruto a warm hg. "Ive cum today to make a formal request to join with you and yore grupe."

"...so I don't have to fight you...?"

"No, from what Ive heard you are far stronger than cood hope to be. And you wernt bad last time we met, eether." "Aw, thanks."

"But, I still want to be kidna trasihionsaal even thowe there are... lots of you. WOuld you do a ceremony with me?" Askt sHizuka, who removet her hodded robe, wearing her gery-black kunichi uniform under it.

"Wh- uhh, sarimony? You meane like, married?"

"There's a practial side to it," Tokiwa cut in with qwuick noticings. "It bonds the 2 by charka, migling it; and thus can be of grater ade to each other in battle."

"Oh." Naruto became qweuirt for a minute, with hard thnkings. "...well, I gess that wood be okay. It wont hurt, will it.?"

"On the cuntrary," Tokiwa saed. "I experienced the most blisful and forceful orgasm of my lief when I bondid with my husbind."

Naruto madw a short skwuicky face, and mumbledt "Sounds fun."

But Tokiwa heard him, and cuntinude. "It indeed was, my Cl*toris ached with pleasure for most of a week afterwards."

"Yeah fine, let's hurry up and do it." Tokiwas' story was to make Naruto of the Embarassdt, because she was tall women with angle-y exotic strong beuteifulness, that Naruto no decide was good or ust look like man.

"Excellent, but as I will be perfroiming the justu we will nede a witness., you I cood preapir while you rtereve one." naruto noddid, and turned to pick one of the girls. Well, their mostly of my age,.. and uh. yeha no. Wait! Shizune!e Naruto went to hIzune's tent, and aaaskt of her to be witness. She seme of interstma and so came. with Naruto to be witness.

Naruto sawed at a jutsu circle of the grond, and Shizuka was of beig naked, and sat it in. There were lots of patern lines being of a spiral from teh circle, like of a windmill. Anruto Sat Down like he guessdt he shood, facing Shizuka. She had a slim shape but of curves like Hinata, milk as creamy and pale as teh milk of a virgin heifer., was her skin like. Her hair wasa down, long and smooth running over her curves, and her eyes were green as were leaves of a silent forest.

"You're getting an erection, good." Tokiwa said. "She then explicated of the jutsu circle. "This is in place to help gather the natural energi for the bonding, and fasilitare the minglong of charka. Now both of you to yore nees. Naruto, penetrate her vulva." Naruto gulpt and puts his hips forwerd, and Shizuka spred open her p*ssy for Naruto to angle in his throbby shape. There no was a trouble to this, it felt good. "NOT THAT FAR! Some of the hsaft must be visible, plese." Naruto felt his cheeks brun, and he backt up a liddle. "Better. Oh, and this will also require mucosal contast." She lookt to Nartuo. "A deep kiss, with tonge." He made oh!" face, ad Shizuka lean forwerds for the big kiss, and naruto gave it to her.

"I'll begin the justu now." So then Tokiwa made some hand signs, and did a chant thing, in a low voice. Naruto start to fele of Narute energy coming into circle, aand inatuering them. it was of like low hum in imaagine's ear. "Now in the just terms, you is oc fontact but not oneness- mand now you may brake the kiss for a momint." Then before Naruto newk, Tokiwa had a cunai and cut him! Then she cut Shizuka too, and took blood form theyre arms and got it on her hand all mixy. Then she wipedt hte blood on Naruto's shape, and in on Shizukas' p*ssy. Immediatelr there was of warm down in thaire crotchular aareal "Now to compleat the Justu." Takiow put her hand of Naruto's shape, and chantid some more, and Naruto and Shizuka began to gron, feeling the orgy heat of the justu grow. there wa begin of anime glowing for light from the jutsu circle, orange and blue like theire charka was a fire. Then Tokiwa finisht chantix and stept out of the justu circle.

"Thrust up into her VAGINAAAAA!, NARUTO!" Naruto did so, and the orgy heat spread to all of him, an he and Shizkau gorned more and loder, he seed she fel this too. He hold her by waste and kepp his thrust hard, griping mightyly. Then it happined, the orgy heat explodiated within him, a big cntinous blast of orgyness that made him throb in Shizuka, and her girly musels sqwueezedt him like beat of newborn heart, as they both moned and yelled. There was a big anime pillar of lite thet shot up as for the yelling, and charka fire lite got big too. Bits of rocks started to flote up, and epic choire of tailed beast anusis sang holy tune of redmpshin. Lighte shot in beam from being of Naruto and Shizkua's eyes and mouths, and they lift off grond floteing up in y-shape, spirlaing and leving behind sparlkes of blue-orangey liteness. The tailed beast anus choire hit a high note, and then they floteid back down, and the justu was over, the circle mark gone.

They lenade back, panting lie cirgin pirson bitches. Naaruto looks across and see he love juice dribblet from Shizuka's p*ssy, and swett droplits formed on hier breastices; and he wa still a bit throbby. he closet his eyes and rest hed, and get small gimpse of Tokiwa carring Shizuka in arms off to a tent. Then he hear footsetps, and see at Tokiwa again- and she was of naked! She had a strong shape of musels, but also of curvy and a big shape of almost Tusnade size. "By the servints code, I follow into any pact my master dose. So i shall join your grupe as well." She dropt and loungedt back on elbows, spreding her legs and p*ssy wide for hiem. She made the come here thing with her finger, and she pulldt Naruto to her after he came. with the Secret Woman Grip, and wispert in his ear, "Bang me senseless..." "But dont you have a hisbund?" "Men now there place in Nadeshiko Village, now mount me." Naruto lookt down her on his way to his shape, and sawed her left nipple was of egg shape and no circle arond it nulike her rite, and that she had l lots of p*ssy hair. He heistate to do it, but he put his shape in her, and began to sex her hard, like of Samui he did. It wa onsly a momenti before the clame mark falsh on hre, but Tokiwa kept naruto in with legs, using her deft girly musels to give Naruto a hard sexing to. Naruto began to feel the sex fury, and wantid to put his mouth on sometings- so as he was alreddy "fukking it" "he say "here I come" and begin to suck on Tokiwa's not-sopretty left nipple,. And then he suddenly throbbed agina, the orgyness caching him low and make of the shudder, wich make him be of lick Tokiwa's nipple, wich make her p*ssy and girly musels throb, and she made of a loud monea wilieh Naruto gruntid. As Naruto lene back he imaajined Tokiwa's face with his shape all way in it, and then he deside she was of exotic strong beauty and not like man.

"Fuck..." Naruto say.

"Anytime you want," Tokiwa reply. "And probly when you not want it too," She wisper to self.

When Naruto woke pu after his nap, he seed aat Risa and Shizune seiza'ing beside his shits. "How long ws I out?"

"It's almost time for dinner," Risa say. "No saty down, I'll just bring it in. Back ina ninnet." As she left, Shizune gaave of shy noticing couff.

"Hmm?" "Tonite, I wanted to give you a massaje, to ese youre gorn musels... and you, cuddle. AAmong other things." Naruto liked of Shizune, being close with him and felling her. But then he rember Risa's epic hard kiss before Shizuka came. "...cood Risa stay too?" "As long as I get you first." So Naruto noddid, and relaxted his eyes.

day 8;

Naruto opened his face, and blinkt. he was in the big tent Yakumo made yesterday, and Tokiwa and Goro and Hinata were on the cushon pile woth hime. The day befroe he was of rest in his tent, with teh girls cuddling with him and bringing in foor to him, Hinatan always bie his syde. Nother girls notiss of this, but still acot of cheery, and he discuver that Risa teh other "filer" gurl awere very of the funny, and Hinata too but he no get her joeks on the first of being listen. Sometimes the girls came in and told hism what they were traneing on; Goro was saying of Shizune traneing her of taiejustu and sage mode, Isaribi of working in water justu with Samui, Sasame and Risa of being epic sapring fight, and Karin and Yurika for the plafning, And Ami and most of other girls say stuff of Yakumo in corner to do of sumetinsh with rocks.

Theiare was some kissing too, of coarse Hinata kisst him, and Shizune, too; but of meny teh gorsl just chat, run hand ofver his chest. So the day past with easy, just chilzing. After Tamaki cuddlt with him and he was telling her of sssasuke , he need to go of outside to strech legs. It was of nite, with twinklky stars and good moon, and gentile breze.

But hear was being heerd of the rock sliding noise! He no sense aneyone on mountain, and then pesrev that it was from near wall in base. He walkt over, his kunataireddy, seeing of the fanet jutsu light. When he cerpe behind teint, he say of a girl with long hair holding rock in hand- Yakumo! But she was of focus, and diddent notis him. She nade concentrathson gruntings, and then of the rock was being burstid, by of Rasengan! Naruto hwas shoct. Yakumo pickt up a big piece of the rock, and strated to make the Rasegna agina. It scaterd the rock with a smashy burst, the Reasegna being of good shapee. Yakmuo's charka was off coll silvery-withe., and it was windy of her. He then see with stralight she was in a sizey pile of rock, and breething nearly loud. He staredt of surpise at her for a few minnets as she cuntinude to parcties, and then went back of to tent. As he loke in, he see Tamaki no longer in.

So he of waketst up the girls, and lead them out for the bredfkistngs. It was talky meal aof happy, Naruto seeing the grils get along food, ansd they eate theire creaal.. Nartuo felt gode nowe, "And slope with with his leader voicse: "I have decided today is the day, for us to move out again. Its been a while, so today will be of the tough batling, to ensure(tm) I'le be able to face Tobi!" "So after weare done hear lets warm up and get reddy to go out!"

"Anyone in particular youre shooting fro?" Askt the other "filler" girl, whose name Naruto hear was Bachiko, she flipt her camoflage colored hair over her sholder. "Yup. I've gona think of to do for Kakashi-sensei."

"Oh!" Say Shizune. The girls lookt surpised, but Nartuo noddid. "I think we cood do it! Honist I reely mene, you guys are grate kunichip, so talentid its cray. Tobi and Kabuto dont dsatn a chane. If Tobi wants UNITY we have it! He atack our natshin,s and tretin our poeople with slavery and deth? That only make terenal cycle of hate! It madniss! So we must be of a team. and I now we can defete Tobi once and for jizz!"Tenten shoutid yeah, and the gorsl gave noddings of agremint. The rest of the brekfist asnded like a penis in denial the inner vagina's truth, searching for the orgasm of truth. Then then girls got up as A Naruto clones put way the dishes, and begina to strech. Anruto noddied to Shizune, who walkt back ofer to her tint.

"What"s out angoe froe this one?" Sasame askt. "To get in close, we have good justu bute remembre Kakashi has teh Sharingan so he might of copy them. So, Hinata and Shizuka, cood you ried in the fronet?" They noddedi, and then naruto turnt to Karin."So, uh... cood I fly with you?" Karin blusht a bit and noddid, and turnt arond for heim. Naruto sawed at her but-tocks, which had a good shapeings, and he began to tuch hismelf and got a shape. It was like buttery pecan to enter Karin's p*ssy, her girly tube of being comfy fit. "Aaah, ah, ohh!" So they all got in a big flight formation, beinding down as fingers went into p*ssies, and kuntai readdied for attackinsg. They took off, Kainr giding them off to the 44th traneing grond, to colse to the tower.

He's right oin the top floor!" Hinata saeid. But as they aporatcht it, kunts flew up form they forest! They pofft into biggus animals, which sevril girosl rode on! The girls jumpt off, and onto the back of a bird that swoopt in- wilhe the animals made battle formatshion of own!"

But Yakumo was of no fooled, she see thorugh the genustu and dispelledt it like a boss. But hen was ropblem Of Kakashi acstshualy appear with his harem! It was not qwuite as big as Narutose. but naruto ssed good strpong shinoib it it, as of Anko, and Kurenai, and the bitch from Iwa he rembert from the Hokage summit, sumeting liek Kurotsuchi. The attackings were begin rite away, with lots of kunati being thwron. There was delfectings like bursteds of fireworks, and thewto harems flew arond the twero like moths to the lfame of destiny. Finaly Karin took htem up to center of tops tower, where Ami luancht barage of ire charka kunati, and then Shizuka used a wind justu to make of huge fireballs with them and flying faster, explodicating into riveres of fire . It be of singeing colths of forehed prtoectors and hair, but Kakasi dojte! It was of make big frie of forest thow.

Now that Kakshi was of being in frunt of fire and only huver, Naruto get better lokk at his harem: There was ninja he rembered of old, that Kakashi kisst, but he forget her name at momitn; and... Sakura!Naruto gaspt, and was becomeof want to win fite even more. I cane tell you is for the nevois, Naruto. But I'me going to take this for searious, and rip holes in you biggenr than blast of Konoha crater was!" Naruto made grimacy face, but give secrit signal to Ami and Yurika to use of a big justu. "Fire stile: justuL Crimson Tide!" Then there was epic surge of fire from forest, and it strech up and sweep back at Kakashi's harem!

He no seem to expect this, and begin to fly to side., but of corse Naruto flew to with hiem, and th e attackings began. They lockt up almost as of rubgy, , but but Goro was surpise strongand backhandit Yugao Uzuki from Kakashi's harem! The battle was of intensings, with Shizuka of using a Roaring Gale Chop that nock of Kakashi's harem, one girl getting a hurt sholder, and the rest of shaking. to make Kakashimove to side. Still Naruto use of good range, and bachiko and Tamaki and Tenten threw bunhis of kunai, like flock of pubic lice migrating to the warmth of a lusty vagina. So of course he fly arond to doje agina, but Ami made of a quick jtsu, it was for the strands of fire so thosso out and wrapt up legs of bottum girls of Kakashi's hareim! Then Shizuka was of to use a Jutsu "Gale Fan"! and it blew Kakashi and his harejm into the big super fire beihindt ! Yakumo had a frowny wooried look on her face, but and then there was big blow of steam, and kakashi's girls foe came. out of fire, and Anko was using her snake hanDs techinque.! It was a surisre, and it grabt onto lots of the arms and legs of Naruto'se gorls- and five point two of them grabbet Yakumo, and threw her into the tower, to the brakeing of teh wall! Goro broke free, and threw a cunati to free Tenten, who used a scorll to blasd lots of sanwkes away with big kauntao avarage. Then Anko was of the stopt the snake hands, and Kakashi's gorsl did a boostie and felw arond, thoe Naruto and girls follow soon, and they came to other side of river away from the fire.

"Looks liek I'le have to get serios, now that things are heteing up.," Kashi saeid. there ws anime glowings of light as he give surge of charka to his gorsl., and then he did a big justu: "Nigger Art: Spiral Fsioun tecnike!" THen there was big anime sequense, of where his hariem connect with by charka by skin cuntact, into big humen shape! Sakura was now of torso, and Kurenai was too, and Kurotsuchi and another ninja was for being the amrs, and Anko wasthe penis! The ninja Kakashi of kiist, who Naruto now of now calldt Hanare, was the head. Then kakashi flweo fowerds in his new formatiosn, and began very strong attackings with the arms". Hinatan adn Shizuka were being for hurt, but they still fighte too.

"It has to be me that faces Tobi, Kakshi sense-!" "I know of you the Chosen One Nartuo, but if you no beat me then how can expect of Tobi? Come at me1" It was no Nartuo that cum eat Kakashi, but Goro And Risa, who jump at form Hinata and Shizoku. Goro gave huge beetings, and Naruto of hear things snabreadk when seht and Shizuka was for hits, but kakshi did a small justu that used with wind to blow them backt at Naruto, and his gorsl manuvred to cacht them.

They went in for more atackings, but before they cood zoom toof are, Anko strecht and snakes came in her mouth, going all way in another surpise justu, athat wraped arond Naruto and his ahrem. They sqwuuezed tight, as of a nine yere old-s girly tube, and then was of swords pop form sanke mouths, to stabby and slice some of the girls Then Kurotsuchi and the left arm girl did hand signs together, and there was big anime energy lines gather arond them. "Prapare tosee how far you've got to go, Naruto! I wish you of best but this is not youre tome!" It was piany, but Naruto and Karin tried to fly and smash Kakashi's harem into the tower, but they flied back, wichi made of the snakes and sorwds hurt more. "Then Kakashi made hadns ign, and Naruto gulpt and began to fere but at momeint of the justu fire in big electrick anime laser, Yakumojeapt off the tower, and hit kakshi with a Rasegnas! It break up the Spiral Fushion and send all flying as oc cray, falling to grond, and the backround music stopt(Beni Soubi). She was of land nexto kakashi, and she of made another Rasengan, and was for mounting Kakashi to slam of his face. She hold colse but when she pull bact her arms, Kakashi holded up his hand. "I... it seme I was wrong aftier all. I of being defeetid, Naruto."

Then Naurot pull from Karin, and sit of hevy breething on but-tocks. Everypns was hirt, and after thein a mominte NAruto rememebr- The" "The ANBU lady! She's still in teh firoe!" Naruto wipet of his anus as he stand, and ronned over to the fire to lokk afor Yugao. Flamey trees was crosst to fall of his path, but he rembered of where she fall and sprint,. The smoke made him of coffing some, and he was feeling a Jew, but he see of place weharie sheed fell up ahead, and did his best spirnt to it.

"Can you here me?"

Yugows hed turnt to side. "Bleh" Oh no, this is bad! I hpei she last long enuouff to get to Sakuar! The- ops There was moaer tree culpasped and sap making sparky pops, but Naruto dojes them and makes it back to the tower, jeaping over the riverand making it baack to the harems, they wre all togethier nwo. Sakaru was alreddy cumming. over, and Nartuo put Yugao down and let Sakrua work. ANruto sawed at Yuugao's shape, very athleic adn ladyliek, efen thore she had lots of burns, Sakura was fokist and made a globe of charka and usedt that with the healing, and it workt some. Yugao gave pained moanings, writhing like she was of bad dreme, and Naruto holdid her stil for Sakura, trying to be of careful so he not sqwueeze her tits too hard. I just a cupple minnets Yugao was healdt, and it seemt for a momint like thinsg wood bee bitter but thien Sakura clapst on top of her! "Sakura!" Theair was feeling of ultimate crisis then, with Sakuraa injurt and flames being of giant walla, but then he herd Shizune say "I got hear as fasd as coodl!"

"B'whuh? Shizune?" Theair was smomething difrent aboot Shiznue's eyes to Naruto, but he coodent see . "I senst the charka of teh battle, and smellt smoke..." Shizune lookt arond, and seed all was hurt. Then she put her hand sines a cupple. then did her palm to the grond. 'Sage Art- Rebirth Cicle!" Then anime glow spred under the grass, and Naruto felt like of floteing on warm cottun, his wuneds heeling- and the grass asnd shurbs in the glowy circle grew a litle bit to. Then the glow stopt, and Naruto felt helthy and strpong agian, and sawed the gorsl were lokking at selfs, and did too. "Everyone good?" Shizune askt. "Uh, a little moer for on my back, if you wood." Said Kakashi, as he turnt over, and Shizune usedt the Mystical Palm justu, fnishing his heal/

"Mind telling me what I got hit with?" He seaed to Yakumo. "A Rasengan.," Yakumo say of shyness. Kakashi and his gursl looked surprise faces, with mouth and eyebrow shockings. But then Kurenai was of smile, sayin "Yuve cum far, Yakump." Anrf Naruto and Shizune noddid of agreeings.

"All my girls have lerned alot," Naruto seda.

"Kurotsuchi noddid. "Almost hate to admit it, but you Leaf kunoichi have some sharp stricks. Ive' lerned sume too." All the gorsl was nod., and afteri calm breths, Kakashi adn everyone began to look to Naruto. "What?"

"Will you chouese anyone from my team, Naruto?" Kakashi askt. "Cho- oh... uh... I chuse... Sakura." Naruto saed. He sawed Kakshi grins big enouff to see under mask, and a cupple of his girls gigglet. Naruto began to bulsh, then turnet his head away and cofft. But to his surpise Sakrua turn head to her and being of kiss!

a"I'le be gals to join youre grupe, Naruto. Yore a hero and a grate shinobio. I... well... I'me glad its you." Sakura gave naruto a qwuick oecker on cheeck. Theiar weore more clam breths, and then Kakashi Aksy. "Anyoen need a reharcge?"

"Nope," Saed one of Kakashi's girsl that naruto diddent recugnize. "That justu of Shiznue's did the trick." "Yeah, i feel liek I cood o spritnk arond Konoa!" Saied Risa and Hana like twins.

"Did sumeone say sprint aorndu Kuntoha?" Askt Lee, shining of youthyness as he popt up from a bush. "Okay, so maybe I was exargating, but coo I cold spirnt to Rmane Ichiraku,." Naruto conpustulated. There was voice actor murmur of agremintamong all, and lee Headid off with them to get lunch.

It was big happy lunch, with meny of Narutose freinds and Acdimy clasmates there, Choji and Ino, and evfen Temari. For a time, it was no temes but only freinds.

After flying back to base of the Hokafe's head, the girls pusht Naruto sand Sakura into naruto's big tent. Naurot begain to bulsh like strawberyry jam on a biskiut, and Sakura did too. Nowing what tis was for Naruto and not wanting to ruwin the momint. It was of awkerd silents for both, but Naruto gideid Sakura to the cushin pile, put as ht bue hits elbow donw for suport nere the sied, it made with a jar of sumetings wich give way, and so Sakura fell onf hime. She give litle chickle, and begin to fell of Nartuo's chest with her fingers. "Uh, hold on a minnet Skaura, i have some stuff on my elbwo."

"yeah, I heard a jar just now." Sakura look to side, and giet begins of idea. "Naruto, close yore eise..." Naruto do beist to hold in noseblled, and obey sAkura. She pickt up the jar and see it was of being for the cuntain with lemon marmalade. One of his girls mustive left it in here... Sakura thenliftid up Narutos'e aarm and put her mouth on his elbwo, cucking of the marmilade. Y Yum! Then Skaura toke a bit and put in it dipt of her being use pointeir finger, and smeart if on Naruto'se lips. "Sakuar, whuat isth this?" But nartio's qwuestions were silnced by a citrissy sexing by Skaura'as lips, her tinguepalying with Naruto's andlikking the marmalade off it, sthe sticky lemonnessfeuling the kiss. It rubbt onto Sakuras' lips too., and Naruto moant as he went foar it pashinitely. After auffew bits, the lemony good was gone.

now' now its time for yoew to colse eyesiadioaoian,' natuo sed. he got the jar, and dipt sakursa's fingres int on. he gided her delicit dijits to hos shapes, wich leapt as oyus stag at the tuch, as he gidid sakursaa's hand arond teh shaft of his shape. nartuo stop and carest sakursa's hand, and lict teh marmadile off it. 'how aboot a lemin zinger sakrus?' nartuo straddlet her face, and gided his bgi shpae into sakurs'a wateing and eeger mouth. sakurs tasted the marmlade and begam to tasty bif of him, his lemoney snicketing in her mouth. as she sqeuuzet the lemon of nartuo's shpae into her ouht as she open wied to get it all in, marmishing a big gulp of taste and sexing with her tonuge to help her swaoolw it. nartuo gorned harder and hader, aaand then he called sakura name aas be heganto feel throbing of orgyness, and try to bakc up but Sakura sqeuuzet his but-tocks and hold him on her, her moufh filing with bitersweet lemon gueyniss. s m,jn bm,nkb sakura sawllowed it all. golden ellow trales go from nartuos' shape as he pull from sakursa' mouth. he still hada big sexing lustyniess in hiemm, so he grab lemon marmilade and goet big glob of it, smearing it with lstijgsofersa- nvmcnv n xvc sakurs'a p8ssy and anus, liek of jam on a biscut, with big lusting. sakura gasp at tuch, and nartuo dove for her fly girly tube. the lemony marmalade got in intresting plaecs in sakurs'a p8ssy, but nartuodiggdt it out with fingers, and lick or lemoney rijes with tonge. 'ffffffuuuuuuu1 hhhnnnnnyuuuuuhhaannyuuuuuh aaah aaah1 anartuo1' then it was nartuo's trun to get guey lemon love jiose on hisface, and he lict it all of saakurs'a p8ssy, and her girly bitton. there was magic of anuses frist hair in room. naruto flipt skura over onto here stomich, an dpullt her upto knees, the lemony of on her nus epost to him. he go of it tog entlt, caerfuuly licking in form her firm but-tocks to her anus, cirlinf arond it with passihn of lustyyucochl, tungoe dipping in like ahuming bird. sakura jerkt witha small sexing. 'hnnnnng- ugghhh yes1' 'naruto get insird me anus lareredy' naruto pawst, and was being for the idea. he git anouther glob of lemon marmadlae and luebt up, sliking his shape with it. he spred aprat sakurs'a but-tocks with it, and to begin of a sexing he dreme of for wole lief. he gruntid, for the slow sexings at first of small to fitting. 'yuew like this, nartuo/' 'uhhh, yes. so good.' 'then have some more, tkae it, take,' sakura repetid, going back hard to esex herself on naruto, reely getting into the feel of his shape of being inside her anus, like the blisful poopings of lust n a snowstrom. and after more of the gornings an dpoopings once more yellow snow fell on the hidden valley. naruto's shape was beginnin to get numb and tired. but sakura rollt over onto her back after naruto came. out of her, and pullt him dwon for kissings, saying her sexings were of only beginning. they were hungry kissings, like naruto wood no think of form sakura, and she grindtied aginst him. nartuo's shpaae was still a bit throoby and there was aan achey lusting in it, and sakurs cood tell of this. 'do it, go for it naruto1' she gave hiem of kiss, felling nartuo's shape of press on her belly. 'i want this now, i reely want it, pleesea naruto...' sakurs kist naruto of the horny, giveing for of his lip a tiny nip with being of the using teeth. naaruto desided it was time to go for the three cheese orgy., and put it strate into sakurs'a p8sys. he groned, and skura buct up towards him alreddy sexing him. 'sex me raw, naruto.' sakura sead as look rite into his eyes. Naruto was doing that of the now, going deep as the cure of hatred he fite war aginst, gaster than flying thunder god kunati, and with fury of man whowow acunt was deltid. but sakura hold up good, sexing herself to put legs arond nartuo's back and pull towards hiem. the heat of his shape in her girly tube was difrent of her anus, one that seme of closer to her heart., of warmer. she give gorn like tiger in heet, clawing of natruo's sholders to sex on him her hardist; ir was of seinx liek none befroe or after, and natruo ate up his frist big slice of a three cheese orgy.

So, after he came. out form Sakuea she turnt ofer and notised he was still of having spme marmalide on his shape. She sqwuigglet down to his penis and began to clene it of with mouth sexings, masaging his b*lls to. licking her lips, she stode on nees and pickt pu the jar of marmalade and begina to scoopt it out onto herserlf, rubing it in a thick layer over her breastices and smearing it down her front all the way to her p*ssy, masaging the fruityness into her nipples and moning, "Naruto I'm so dirty, cum clene me of..." Nartuo pullt her of him and rol to top, geting marmlade on himself to as he sexedt Sakura's niples clene of the lemon seexyniss, felling sticy and sxey as she lict hiem two. Naruto ram his hamds troujs Sakora'd haier, puling it back and kisdib her vhom and thoret, befreo theo joineriud dwon, to her bresticeas, BUT Sakpoa grab Narotus' face adn kis jon, bobing down and licing up the marmadlei on nartuos' chest as weh swayted her hips on him; adn for many minnetso theiry'es tongs were like migrant penis thursting into the vaginal unknown, serching for the enxt frontier. They were eech cuvered in a mes of love juice and sticky lemony marmalade film, as if they had asended through a sea of golden jizz that broke on teth shoers of love.

Naruto almst past out from awkerd of walk to washup plaace on the base. Bute sAmui gaave a slap of teh but-tocks wich liten him up. Sume of teh otuhet gorsl lokt up, Isariib and Yakumo and Ami and Risa. "traneing anyone?"

They all noddid, and Bachiko joint them for lite sparings. naruto sawed at Risa, how she remind hiem of Shizuka or Lee with her attackings; and the other girls were of nice refelxes, but not or reely good of the taijustu. He knew Yakumo was of more for the genjutsu, thore. So it was of making colnse, but then after other girls see and start of trane, Nartuo perceved ther was not enouff room. on the Hokafe's hEad. After anime looks of confirmness, they all mountid up and headed to one of the fresh traneing grounds. There was lots of room nowe, and they leapat and criscrost thure tese and the field. As he zipt arond, he saw Goro working on strksei with Shiznue and Sakura, Isairbi with Samui agina. Yurika and Karin was teh staregizm now, with Tenten and they comb map for tngles in plan. But naruto of focus, for he dualed Risa and Shizuka and Hana! It was touf oatincksg with Rias and Shizuka, but he was for no much cloneings of it, and hana with smell to his dihings! But he maekt Shadow Clonse and strate ot eor dirve the. to open arela, he seed the other gorsl wouer nust cjollaixinf, and noet traaning. So he was of stopt fightenf with Risa, and aaskt of Tokiwa whast groin on.

"HO, we just lovein this open sapce, ya hurr."

"Yo, whacoo got palnned, Naruto?" Askt Tamaki. "Biches, we gone play tag! And thats' wuassup, suck it!" Imediately Tokiwa and Isaribi begen ato sock it, naruto's penis going through Tokiwa's skull and into Isaribis' mouth,. , but then Sakrua gaabt it and pulled it into her girly tube, and it came. fomr her mouth and anus, and sexted Samui between her breastisec and in her girly tube. But then Naruto fele of pain in hise temple,

and he blink,t he was with other girls, and Risa was standins ofer home, with mean smile. "Oh good, tha was a genjustu." Thoufh I kinda want to sex Smaui's boobies now . So"So, whose reddy for a game of catch Naruto? Itle be a test of tracking and hand to hand skills! If you find me its one point, tag me is two, and findng the reaal me wins you teh game!" "Sonds ofn, " Shizune saed, and the eohet gorsl anrgeed of the noddings with for her being.

"And wheel' joinr in too!" Saed Konohamaru! They all turnt in to find him of walk behind from a troee, with Hanabi Huuga and girl of piss green hair, Kaede Yoshino! But then Konhamaru was for the being to seeind that aal was anaakt, and got of nosebled that boost him away a few fete onto back. "DO i efven want to now what we're interrupting,,," Hanabi say as she bulsth and look of her feet.

"Were only traneing, it no biggsie?" saeid Sakura. Kaaede was to salpping of Khnomafaru, to wakye.

"Sister, how is of you get from father? " ASket Hinatan. "Well, I'me a genin now, so tecnikly..." Haniba bulsth more."He duzzent have to now."

Knoharamu was up agina, staring with oviusness at narutos'e feaces. "So what do I win once I find teh reel you?" "Wele, uh..." "how aboot a pirvate trane session?"

"..."

"Okay fine, winner gets a kiss." Then all the gorls cherid, and Naruto sied and maed the justu sign, poffing into a few dozine colse. THey all ran off into the freost, and gthe orgls lokest andomg themsel and nared for. " "ANR'st you gonna go with them?" AAsk Kaede, for the talking of with Shizune. "Oh, I'le jsut relaaxicate here afro a bitch." "Don't youwer ante find Nartuo?" "It shood be peirttl easy to dofn hiem. Us jonin havee eaxperto track jacker skills, yo." "Oh wow, you're a nigga?" "Uh-huh, Tsunade traned me into on." But then Shizune went still, ingoring Kaede until the later skipt after Kohonamaru and Hanani. A lidle later Yakumo came. Back to sit with her., jstu as Shiznue opinet her eyes.

"Nice eye shadow." "Oh tankx" "Gonna look fro Naruto now?" "Yup." Yakumo noddid, and puast to restify her eyes after the genjustu for a bit, and when she opint them SHizune was gone!" Then Yaoumnpk deisdsed to strate lokkings agina.

Naruto was on run from Tenten, was of aawws swonf hism, abut and owne tryong to fag hima. Of meny tiesm she sued scorlslls tao onsleashi weepunz, and used wieer stirngs to manpultsae them toa fag attpimt to fag naruto. In big anime hase seqkwueins, Tenten rode on rockit powert anus leaf, maneuvaring it like scateboard to zome arond in frutn of Naruto. "AAlriet, naruto! Saed Tetna a, "I'de liek that kise."

"So youe tihnk this is the reel me?" "Yup." "Then kick me in the b*lls and see!" But as Tenten fly of to striek Naruto in his crotchular arela, he puff like magic draagun and disapear. 'Ah, poo."

Elsewharei, Hinatan came. Oupn the sene of all sthe poeeple in Yakupm's gekjuatsu, she nos sawed at Nartuo among them, and cuntiserd waking them pu. But as only amominet befroe she modve on, her Bakyugan of telling a naurto was neargy. She snuct up to behind the tree he s restid on, but he saw her! He jeapat op to run, but Hianta usetd a speed bost jsutu and caauwt hiem. "I've gtoy youe!" She landed as of a penis cloud on the dew of an angel., and held his heard in her anus for the love straings.

"Mebbe nextime, Hianta!" Then Naruto pooft away in a cold of smoek.

Naruto laofughetd to hislmef. He was of using the Transomeoration f Justu, to look Haan. So he skipt gayly from tree limb to terem limb, and then hopt down to do a smexy dance aginst a tree- but Shizune stept out of it, and taggt hiem! "Whatu, sauwce bowss! How you do that?" "It be a traveling justu." And naruto now see of Shizunes' eyesi, and how they were of being with the red marks arond. "I'le just take my kiss of hwen you want." "Oy, so yout hinsk this is teh reaaly rely one?" "I nwok so. I can sense charka like this." "I think you is ouf-" Bute nartuo cooudl no speak, for Shiznue take him up on sholders to tree libm! "Sage Art Deth Vally Driver: Jutsu~" She jumpt of the limb,, and then the DVD was of cunectid the grond, makind an anime dust expolistnio, leveing a big crateur- but naruto dno disaperred! "Okaey, so you right, this is the real me... and cood you heale me? My neck" "Opps!' So Shiznue used the Myst-whatever green glowy justu to heal Nartuos' neck, and he saedi thanks with a anime grumpy faeac.

Using of for his cwolnes to weith aofn ew being fduon by Shizune, and then they weint back to his penis base aot of the Hokafe's head for relaxzing.

at night.

DAY (:

Tenten was hungry for the lunchings. opps It was 11:39 in of being foe ther mornins, an after sopme katasa parctie she was the reddy of snackings. She was lookking fsro through the storageje rocsk, thinking ofa watingn a sandwich. Peanus buter,, thaires' some bred, wthre's the marmaalade? "Hey, Isaribi... you haven't seen the amrlemdael, have you?" "I left it in Naruto's tent to snackulate on, but I havent chkect,. Sak him." "Aer you okaey, Sakura?" The pink haiered girl swaolled her foor. "I'me okay, Tenten. " Sakura qwuikly ate another chip to avoided the more qweustions. Being of good ninja Tenten of crose notis this, and headeid over to Nartuo's big tent to asking for with hiem. Swepeing assidle the tent fap., she saw Yakumohanging over Naruto as she storked hos haier and wisperd to him. "Oh, am I...?"

"No, it alright, Tenten." Saied Yakump. She sat up of the ciushons, and Nartuo waved her over. "So wassup, shawty?"

"I was just wonderong if you knew of werhe the marmalader is?" An anime efect arrow stabbt Naruto throgh back, but he recovire of good. "I dunno, must be all gone or something." "You think you cood head downton the vilije and get usem? Wer'e low on the choclite douches, too."

"Yeah, I'le go down in a minnet. I uh, I mene- argh..." "And make sure you get two, jars." "I thawt only you and isaribi liked the stuff, two jars?" Tetnen lened in for wisperings ofn the sexy in Naruto;s ear. "I need oen so you can being of the show me what you and Sakura did with other one/.." Neratuo became of noseblede, wich he wipet as eh gulpt and get up.

In surpise short time, Naruto and Sakura were down togetheur in Konohad, spilt up for fapping spriately. Naaruto was goinf os to the gornery store, to buy thel emondae marmalade. He gote wonks from a cupple dueds and tuns of wimmen., and straatid using of back asses to get to the trose aftier he sesndt sumeonf dollowing hiem. He snuct of the ninja up to the dore, and walk in as of owning, liek he was not of being new and nothing speical. Findign the marmadlare was quick, it wa on isle seven wih teh dildo and coloring books and duct tape. He snacht up the tworgaio jars like of bawss. And wistle tune of don't mind me-niss as he walk trough isle back to aschier. It was of a ninja he seme to knwo, like of many poeple in Kohonad, but not sure of.. "This all, you sexy beest?"

"Uhwhuta, uh no, moer like taled beast!"And yeah, it's all" "Thin that will be 10 Ryo, yo." Naruto pulledt Gama-chan from his anus, and opent int to retireve the moneu to pay. Teh cashire made call me hang didn as he leeve, and thein Naruto felt the wachings agin as he come. out of the srtoe. a quick sacn did not of reveele obvious palce, but he herd cumotion don the strete!, so he desiece to check out.

It was of Moegi! lokking of brused! Then as of liek nitemare athat kepe geting woriees, he see she of ball gag in ouf, and then of odler gie behind her, smacking her bute! "I is of maek you pay for acking up, bitch!" "Then Naurto was of being recognzoi ed the gie, it was Mizukai, that tiger man!

"Oi, Mikzui, get youre hansd of her! Leve her alone!" "Never! I dont dacre how, but I hace power gaina and its' grrreate!(tm)"

"But you being of shoy wahut you use for of the power! You noe nede anymore!"

"Sez the brat with a jizzilion sluts!" "Thats' it, I'm taking Moegi away form you, twhere she'll be sage!"

"You mustof defete be in amttel, cunr! And I see no girl froe you!" But then Naruto was being for of hte using a colnse justu, wich he turn into girl with he Sexy Jutus! He thine put his shape in its girly tube, and there was anime flash of lighte. Then Mizuki ript of the blla gaagb, and began of sexing Moegi with his crotchular areoala befreo putting his shape in her p*ssy, her poewrs activating ina small flash of lights. She screemed a bunch, but Mizukia lfied forwereds, reddy for attackings! Moegi was kinda fast, bute of corase Naruto was fast to and dojdet her,. Mizuaki slapt her of the but-tocks, leafing a red handpirnt liek graffiti on pesrstijoius wall . Then Moegi was to use w wind justu, a good blowey stream. "She of blow me liek this evry nite, muddafuckah!" Then Naruto had rageings, and gruntid as he made his colne to do af a justu from Kiraiya- it was the hair growing one, and the youthful godlen tresses ripled like thin straesm of golden water and sunlight from his clone and to the wraping of Mizukais' puper arms- and then to be of cuting them off! Mizukai yelldt and his blood sparyed all over Moegi's back and but-tocks, but he still direct Moegi to use wind bullit jutsu's and fly arond. Naruto still dojdt, and used the hair justu agina to grab one the mIzuki'as arms and to bea of beeting him with them! Nartuo made another clone, and he beat off Mkizuiak from mOegi, and the new clone held Mizuki down as hte hair shovet the arm up Mizukia's anus, and then ript of the tigre mans penis and b*lls and shoved the other arm into the hole theiar.

Naruto now notised people were of wachingt in sthreet, and were of cheering. He only of ignore them, and pick up Moegi and the marmalade and hedded back to base.

The girls gaspt as they see Naruto, and bachiko had of scary cuntclunshions of jumping too- bute in aney case, all was worried by the blood. "Oh Moegi, what happened?" Askt Sakura.

"Mizukia had me, but then Naruto came... he beat him, Naruto saved me.

"How bad are you hrut?" Shizune askedt, walking over. "Well, uhm.. he... he-" Then Moegi was of the crying, and sunk down to her ness with big wailings. Sakura pickted her aup and went with Shizune to their tenit. Naruto went to his tent big, takeing breths of calming as he entered tenit and flaopt down on pillows like a flaccid penis. He beignaina to think of all his gorsl, Ami, Bachiko, Hana... and the oldire gorls like Samui and Yurika. He was of liking them alall in difrent ways and amonts. Risa was of nice cool girl, very actiony; Tenten was cute in her of way, very detemindt but also niecee; Tamaki wohh he diddent now very well but was okay to have arond; and then therei were of like Hinatan and Sakura, who he of now reely good, and had spechila feel fro both. He of thinkinf all aboot Sakura, and her smiling and yelling and yelling and hiting him and also of hug when after Pain was gone, and sayong she loev hiem when no mene it, and mreo yelling. Nartuo thinkt of HInata too, all her followings and shy talkings; and of saying she was with for being love hiem, and fihgteid Pain when he was down. He thinking of his friend love with Hinata,bute then he remeber of other thinkf liek as of Karin, or funny momint of Sasame, or cute moeint oef Tenten or yakumo, or getnle things of Shizuka or Samui or Ami., or just binches of things hat be of clutter mind. It feel like trying to juggle buteloads of pink fluffy chainsaws made of glass, being of a difficult thing he no of kepe all of only one.

It seme like a reely long time, but was onyl jist afew minnets untiel spme gorsl cam.e. into the tenit., of Hinata and Tenten and Samui and Tokiwa and Ami and Yakumo and Tamaki and all of coming in, but he no see afater Sakura came. in, only of looking fro her. "Sa-" D"Dont speak nartuo, just lets rest..." and so one bo ine teh other s walkedt over, and made of big gnetile grupe huggings, Sakrau and Hianta wilgging ina to be of the colsest.

Teh day past of quiet, with the gorsl giving Naurto qwuiet snuglings. In the evenings, Shizune and Moegi were already out, prepairinsgs diner, aof a fishy stew and rice. It was smelling good, to being for the mouth water of Naruto and the other girls, gave little sniffies of delite, as they huvered colser to the fire and cookins putz. Theaire was big feast feelin'g in the aire, like of a celsbration. The moode liten liek aof mass orgy.,, and Naurot was aboot to ask of what had been of puttzing in the stew, when agina they heard of people cumming. over the crown walke. it was the left boeinfg thel ninja, three of thiem! It was being of the Mizukage, a girl of long bloned haire and eyes liek Hinatan, and a orlder girl who give aire to Make Naruto think of Abno.

"Pardon us for our anus intrusion,,," Saied the Mizukage, woh fhlipt her long hair over her sholder. "My name is of being called for the Mei Terumi, and I'm currintly the Mizukage of the Land of Water." Mei curstied, and the blond hick stept foerwds. "My name is Shion, a ... the High Priestiss of the Land of Ogres. The dagner heas reachdt ven to my lands, and I huried here to be of asistance..." But of coarse, Sakura remembered the promise Naartuo made after dfeating Moryo; only be of surpised Shion for the travleing all way to Land of Anus Fire. Shion gave of curstie as well, and the lady Naruto thoughe as ABNU stept up, being of ash bldone hair and whust seme super-fit shape liek Risa, and still ladyniss in her shape. "My name is Komachi, an hubmle servant of my vilaje." Sto then Mei came. up agina, and spoke with ladyishniss. "If it is not to much, we woodl of like to join with yo're grupe and share your b*ll swet cl*t fish supe.."

"well" Nartuo sawed at pletny of the fishy stew, and guesticalibrated theiare as for teh sharing. "Tharei are a lot of us here, but yore' welcumeto stay, and eat with us." Naurot of looket to Karin, but she seme to know his kuestion and shake hed a tinny bitch.

"Here is a blow, Laddy Mizukage." Saied Shizune. "Diner is served." So they all lined pau, with Shiznue and moeig as servisr ther was now of big ring arond the camp fiorelokking of big family gathring, and Naruto begins of to think all is of here for him, shome how oreanuther. Goro sat nexto Naruto on his rite as he ate, and Isaribi at his left. Hianta and Skuraa were of acruos from hism, and he cacht them to lokke over to hiem sometimes.

"So," naruto saide to The Mizukage and Shion and Kokmachi, "What brings you all here?" Ami almsot blurte d your penis, but desided that wood be in bad taste.

"Well, it was quite the experience in Killer B's grupe, to say the leesy; but after I joined it seemed his ... priorites wernt in the rite place.

Meaning he only was in this to scex with a Kage, Tenten thoawt. "So after he withdrew, ahem- resigned from the competishion, I set aboot finding just the ritghe grupe to join." Shion pickt up, taking loke from Mei. "I was ind the misdt of a tour of my natishon's ttemples when Tobi maed the anouncemeint,, so I altired my root to Konoha instead, whre thaire wood be a grater nubmer of armied froces. And... also an offre I made to a certian nigga of yore vilake." Shino bulsht a bit, and ate upon her stew.

"So now Komachi swalloewed and spoke up. "I did not have to travel as these did, but,,. I wause aprehensive of this cuntest, and heav avoidid claiming til now; and I just haapined to cum. Across the Lady Mizukage and Hie Preestis Shino navigatins the villake,."

"So yore frumo nerebie?" Askedt Naruto. "yes." Komachis Noddide. Naruto was of nonplusst faec, and after a bite Kmociha see. "Ah, I was of thinking improtant niggas liek you knew of us ANBU. Kakashi WAS your sensei faoter all; and youe've met Yamato and Aob-" Shizune sent a kill dager stare to Komachi, who remberd her porper secrit clerence, and no speek of Aoba. "Forgive my arragince."

"nah its okay, technicly I'me only a genin so reely thaire's no way I'de now aeny ANBU essept kakshi-sensei. And who was that thurd persino, dijjoo say Ao-"

"Weare srhot on space, Lady Mizkguea" ut in Shizune with smooth noticings. One of youse may have to edn up sharing a teint.: "

"The large taint semes liek it cood sleep sevril," Kmiachio notid. Mei and Shion noddid. "Wood oyuo mind, Naruto?" Askdt Mei, aadn Nartuogulpt and shooke his heda. "Then that's setiled,! An pl0x evryone, just call me Mei. I'me yung at heart as eny of you." Mei give eye smile with winkings, and teh grupe beganse to ease up with the finshing of teh meal. Naruto was of getting nervuso, nowking he had big night. I mene, i guess the girls are al impotent poeple, but a Kage? I mena, what if she- she dossent like it... and I...? Aw man! Asand fo the nervisnoss grew as of feasting catepilar, just as Naruto'se shape did, soon to be enwraped of a cacune before emerging as a stately buterfly.

Haruto neld back his foseblede like he gave a dam. "Uh, thanks for the food, Shizune and Moegi. I think I'lle head over to my tent to relaxicate." Nartuo felt the eyes of his hariem on his penis as a snake to slither up on prey, reaaddying the final kiss. Trieying to walks camly to his bieg tenit, Naruto toke of claming breths , thinkinf of only to faeces Tobi, in last batle. But it no wrok for long, only until his tenit was he of being for the inside. He then giev in and stork his shape for a momint, befroe cowrling onti the pile of cushions. he pute his amrs behiond his head to rest, wich he colse his eyes and dodoo on a bit. But it on good, as he was sltii wateing, and it got harder the longer he wated. He give gurnt of furtsation , and lokked to goet up and grbing one of teh gorsl when they walkdt in with the Mizkuage. Komachi and Shino walkdt over to fra corner, taking a cupple cushinso wit dem. They asses skahedt like the but-tock of a 300-pond virgin, mreo tanlatizkins thatn Nartuo thwat at frist.

Bute hise atnetion turn back to Mei. Fritst she nudidher top not, her auburn haire now of being to fall with reeching the grond, burshing of her aknsle. Them, she unzipt her derss, leting it fall to floor, exposing her niples and lrage breastices. For Samui and Tokiwa Nartuo was of usedt of this sixe now, thowe he still of not liek much, and Mei pulled down and stept oudt of her shrots, reveeling her full sexiness shape, of slim and with big chestiey shape. Gazinf into nartous' eyes she move foerwerd, felling his chest and gideing him back dwon to the chusilows. buT of only super lusty looks give Mei at frist, lite kises daring of Naruto, who finally garbed Mei to him ansd kisst with pashion of rhinocerso charging an infant cumquaat, it was of heat he feldt from Mei, hot breth full of sexy. It was of not normal, the sexy Mei gave hiem, Nartuo almost fele liek sex toy that no cuntrol itself. But mei was of slow, tricling her tuch and tungeo ovre Naruto, save the big sexiness fro kisings onf his lsip, until he of no stand anymroe and smal the Mizukagef on her back, and pound his shape into her giryl tube with furries venginse, Mei sudinly moning as nartuo finaly toke he rliek she wantid, her pub*s aching with the pint up lustings, and then slam of Mei onto him, wraping his amrs arond her wasit and holding her on his shape with ful poerw as he throbbed in her, and gave her short sexings, Mei's legs fapping liek wings of redundint butterfly., naruto gurnting his plesure.

But Mei was of no done wiht sexings! Naruto's shape was of butery silkcniss, wich now alowed fro biger sexings, Nartuo dtermint to make Mei of stop teesing and just sex him,. So naruto tired to sowl down, but Mei kept him aof high slammy pace. "Tierd alreddy? Only this long for me, Naruto?" Mei lene in and give of hungry wisper- "I'le outlast you, and once yuve past out I'm going to fuck you so hard and long I'le go numb and youle wake up." Mei gave of hunryg grunt, and made of shivery girnd on Naruto. He tired to kiss her bute Mei of s salp, and insted give naruto big wet kiss of chest and throte, then of smuther hiem with huge kis of lips, Nartuo forgeting to breethe and sex Mei's girly tube for a minnet, and Mei then stratid to sex herself on Naruto, and he shotid her name over ind over and he of try to kepe pace but gave up as Mei let out her girly juice on him with big shudery gorns and sexings, sqwueezing him with her lgon fingernails, and as say she kept on, hodling Narut's arms down, her long red haire of making thin lacy vale buhind her arond her head, and then Naruto past out. When Naruto woke up, Mei was of still sexing him as say, her swet dirpping down and her breth hevvy, and mone of Naurto's name, and say "Take me there, take me thaie taek me theire... Hnnnng! Aaaah aaah WRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Mei gave a reel big shudder of wole body, then still of grip Naruto with weak as she try to sex him, and was of being a wimpering. "Ahhh uhnnnnnh... Nede you... in Kiri... hnnnuuuuuuuhhh fuuuu... oooohhhhh yesss- yes- right there- rightFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Then finaly Mei stopt of sexing Naruto, and rolde off to side. "Old? Old? Little Mei's still got it, showed them..." Then she gave big sigh breth, and crawrled over to where Komachi and Shion where.

They shared a nervis "You wanna follow that?" Look, then Shino crawled over with a colth and bottle of water.

"Sh- uhh,,, Shion, It dossent have to be all... you know. Th- that's just extra, you dont' need that for the claim jutsu to activate..." Shion noddid and snuglet up ot Nartuo's side. "I know, Naruto..." Shion wispered as she storked Naruto's chest. But I have to continue the line of preestisses, and... I've wanted it to be with you ever since you helped dfeat Moryo. We can take it slow, I don't mind- as long as it happens..." Shino kissed Naruto like dream of eagle wings, smooth as sunlight on a virgin's penis. "Naruto, have you herd of the Chakra Sutra?"

"Charka Suit? What's that?" Well" Shino begina, wetting the clth and cleaning Naruto of it., "It starts like thism with the male right there, reddy to take action.

Naruto had never nown he was so flexible. nearly an hour later, after beign introcued to the Charka Sutra and its' mystic sensations Naruto's sexings were prety tired. And yet Komachi had saet thruogh the whole time, slowly undoing her hair and reomving the pins, and streching to get reddy. She walkt over, an odd caluntaling lokk on hier face. "Kmachi, I... don't think I can do too much... it mite efen take a iwlhe befroe I can... uh, you know..."

"At least your'e honist aboot it," Komachi chcuklt, looking away. "Its' okay naruto..., I mean, I haven't been exactly ... forthcuming, if you know what I mean. The sexings,.. just aren't a priority for me..." "See, I of used to dreme of being a family woman but..." "Bute Whut?" "Oh, it's nothing. Don't want to put you out of the mood." Komachi got dwon with naruto, snugling colse with hiem, geting a fele of his body with sutle hesitaint, she lean in, asdn give Naruto a kiss, then lene back to erst. The ash bolnde Abnu gidid his hand o her secret woman part, to her p*ssy and into efen her girly tube. She let Naruto exploer and sex her slowyl with his finers., her secret girly sent entising Naruto and swoly helping hiem to get a shape agina. It wa a srhot sexing, only of to activate the justu, but to Naruto it felt just right.

Komacihi gave him anotehr small ksis, and left hiem for her croner, giginv him smoe sapce. Yet, despite his penis being tired and sore as a nigger slave, The rest of Naruto was still being awake. His lounge of cushions was ucmfy, but he mind no rest- his mind racedt to all teh gorsl that were with hime durning the yad, espeshly of Moegi. Shood I clame her- no, no! Won't be doing that, no sir! But I stile want to proteict her- ah that's it! Maybe some of the gorsl coodl hlep, liek Sakura, or Bachiko, anor Hana... or no, no gurpe... just ask ot themi all to dewitt...

Oh whateth was I do, with saveing Moegi? Did Mizukia reely dsirve what I gave hiem? I think so! But... what can I give Moegi now- or any of my girsl, reely? How can I maek sure Moegi ha snoe mreo gise liek that, does she liek it here with all the other gorsl? ...argh. I need some firsh aair tho think. So nartuo passt thourhg the tent falp and into the monolight, the starts shining like the eyes of a dead lamb. The silecen was like a prefmauture orgyness, staneing the time oot afre on the Hokafe's head. He see fro sume reeson Sakura stant by rapmart, lokking of the the itegh sky. "Kinda makes you feel loenly, hud? Seeing the strats of bute." "No... ai achusally usedt o stragaze aat lot at my apartmint, with this cheap pira of binokulars... the stras always felt as of glow bugs, leik a cood pick oune oout and carry it with me." There was moer awkwarsd kinda momint when Naruto scootid closer and colser to sakura; the he put an arm arond her, and lene down to give of kiss. Sakura return it, and they share magical look into each oterhes' eiyes.

"Sakura... do you love me...?" "naruto, I... I do love you, but my feelings for you arn't the same as my ones I feel for Sasuke..." But Naruto lookdt of hrut, and turn to walk away. "No, naruto!" Sakrau jogt after hiem. "I... I didn't want to lseo sasuke, and... you wer of always doing yore hardist froe me, and wure alwyas aron for me, and, and now I didn't want to lose you either." "Why is it alwyaas Sasuke, Sakura? Whit is of he have I no doodoo?" Narutos cuntinude his stony walkings. "Naruto, I'm sorry I shuddent have talkedt aboot Saukse, please stop walking away! I love you Naruto! I love you! Pleas cum back over here, I- I nede yew know..." Naruto was of nore more for being with the sonty wlkaings, but he no of trun back to Sakuar, only strae up into night skt. Skarau huried ovre agina, an dof seed Naruto was cry sparkly qwuiet tears, and this of made Skarua to start being of with the crying too, and she fo holdid naruto, and cry into his chest, and he no trun or push her aywa.

DAY 11;

iT WAS OF CIRPOPS morining, ovre at the traneing feld. Shizune had given him made to have a nuthera day of rest, but she did let him look over their traneing, with Mei. The Mizukafe had grate insites that of helpt with Isaribi and her water stile Justu, and Ami and Tenten with their justu's too. Reely, Naruto sawed at all the girls strating to share teckniquwes,; like Yakump showing Sasame a jutsu where the useire's hair spread to cover them, and then they cood traveil through floors and stuff and pop up, and sSasme toutgh Yakumo a jutsu of like Jiraiyaas', of using hair to strecht out and catchify. Tokiwa shared some Nadeshiko Villaje stlye of swordings with Tenten, and Shizuka ofTaiejutsu with her, Naruto saw of a big momint fro Tenten when she lern of to use her Erth Charka to power of hadn to hand strikes. And speeking of taijustu, Goro was of lerning moer from Sakura and Shizune, hard atackings hat break up the grond.

Today, Naruto was of going over Rasengan learnings agina. He was of a good to see Ami and Hana and Hinata was to lerna it; Hana say it for she know spinning alreddy. He sawed of Mei being interstid to learn, and see weels of poltting turn in her eyes. He was also interstid of seing Yakumos'e Rasgena, how it was of much way strongeir than any1's. After the toufgh Rasengasn lernings, Shion lead them of clam breething exersises, wich Nartuo go form into Sage oMoed traineng., feeling a few of teh grosl colse to, but as of opein eyes he frogetted wehaire thaye wure in circel. So after , he made his Harem Justu, and made for a big teme battle. but it was of short, Mei and Goro and Risa and Tenten temed up and pwned tons of them, despite his best attackings.

So after another qwuicke brake, Isaribi spoke up. "Naruto, I just was thinkgsni, is thaire anything maybe we cood be of teaching you? Any Taijustu mebbe, aaoara eny techiniqeus?" There was agrement murmur of the other girsl. "Maeebe Tenten and I cood weacth you aboot kenjtsu," Samui saed.

"or maybee We coodl learn you of Genjutsu," Saaid Yakumo. "Aw, I'm not so good of genjustu," Naruto said. "But everythisng else sounds great! Let's start with some good ol' taijustu!"

Goro stept forewerads, her purple hair ebing as of raven in teh snulight. "I've been wanting tor try thos with ayou for a while," She saide. "My family was of Bear Cuntry, and haad a cool style past down." So real qwuick Goro summind a huge bear., and begina to trane narutoe of the beare Fist style. It was of strong attackings, and stance that fro good with power in them. It of simpleness that Naruto see was for the uber power to be of easier to use. But, it was of no as fun, becuz Goro made hime practiec aginst her bare summon., which was of course stropn but aslo surpisingly fast. Shizuka also was of teachings the taijustu, the Nadeshiko style Roaring Gale things, which was of cool cuz of Naruto also had wdin Narutoed charka.

But naruto was surpised to see Shizune step to teach of taijustu, thinking she more of medic. "Shizune, what is of this?"

"I'm of the show you the Deth vAlley Driver!" She gave a good o'l Shizune chuckle and made ofa Shadow Colne, getting it on her sholders "CUm on, make a clone and follow along." So naruto did, as Shizune begina to asxplicate. "Now once one the shoudlers, kind of swing down to hold as of in the fornt, like a stadning 69 position, and then down!" Shizune finshed the thrwo, and it poffed her clonse!" It poffed his clone when he did it too, he of see this was good throw, and he rembered the hurtings it gave during tag game. He seed some of teh other gorsl was of lerned it too, as of Goro and Ami., and Moegi.

Softer Smaui and Tenten erwe of leeding all with sords, it was of time for lunch., and they hidead back to hte base sto flye made of ligthe and ahppye agina, and the food was of bood gnarola bras, and some juices.

Then the Mizugafek was of ladyish agian, and was for taking out ona hole big harem shoping trip. first of was teh colthes, there was lots of colths each bote. The girls tried to make a Team of Ami and Goro, for of they purple hair, but the two no follow and get own clothes, Ami getting amyn black stuffs as of tight shorts, and this one pair of short jenes that had rose desinges on the thies and lace-up side on calves, and black ahtler tope.; Goro got ackshually liked the jeans Ami got but to avoid team dressings got the same style with white and no designs instead, and of white tank top., of form the same streo. Sarkua got some more black actiony shorts, reccumending the brand to Sasame, who nod and get a pair too.

At a clothe store with of the more acntionay wearings, meny of the girls boughte things, Risaa got some mesh coverings for the elbows, and haff linger gloves, tough black leather ones, and a good dark grey shirt as of for the Konoha pickt up a new kunai holster, one easy open colsure it had. Tamaki got more wrapings for here froearms and wrists, and a cute sweet high collar sleveless shirt, of a good red coulor. Isaribi gotted gode waterproof shoesa,d and a sea blue camo wet suit, which farbic have intersting feel, like of slimy but not wet. Naruto got hismelf a mesh aromemr shirt for under his jacket., and Bachiko and Moegi looking of the nigga sandaals, Moegi getting a new black pair, and Bachiko ones of blue to match her eyes. Tokiwa got anothre backliss shirt, this one of a ninja brown coulor.

They went of a weppunzs stroe after that, Shizune stocking up on needless, everyone egetting lots o fcunai and shurknes. Samui testid the blaance of sumfe Tanto and katansa, and got sume; and Ami got a cupple more sai.

The last one was a girly clothes stroe..., selling dresses and other things such as brassieres. He saw of Yakumo get a ncie new pink kimono and and sea grene hoair, both with nice flower petal designs on them, and he saw of mEi to get a lether thong off rack, but Sakura strated to push hiem awya. "You'll see later, but it'le be a surpise," she say. SO Naruto watedi outside the store, until sevrel a minuste later the girls cam. out, Naruto noting Hinata hda teh most bags. Bask at the base on the hokafe's haed, there was much giggling and of talking with the bags, and thinsg the girls got. Wihle as of the conversing, naurto fixed up a big pot of ramen with Shizune. There was big anime steams rising form it, with some anime smelling going to the girls. and Hana got of good sniff as they dirfted boy.

"naruto, what are you putting in there? I t acshually smells kinda good?" "heh heh ha! Its my special blend of secreit ingredients, you'll have to eat it to find out!"

"It better nut be one of the choclit douches like the last time," Karin, said. "Don't worry, I put the last of them in the pudding yesterday." The gorsl dropt theiare mouthfs in shockings, and jumpt Naruto in making a big anime dust cloud with punchings. "I was kidding! Ow!" Shizune smiledt ahd nook her nits ass she stirred the ramen.

"I think it's actually done now!" She called, and instantyl evryone seiza'd arond the fire with they blows and chopsticks. Moegi got up to help serve agina, and after qwuick Ida stmsu!" they dug in like niggers on chain gang.

Afteir the "Hey, this is just miso raamen," sakura saied,. "That's youre secreit indgredient?" "yYup. Miso ramens' grate evrye time!"

After the secret was out and diner ovre, they all snugglet in theiry' tenits. Mokachi and Shion and Mei came in, wearing light and kinda see-thru bed colths, in ladyish sexy style that acshually work good for al them, but Naruto coodl only gulp as Mei and Shion jointed him on the chusions, lokking at hiem of expetings. Mei smiled and started spooing him like a serial killer, and Shino gave him a light kiis of lips, before make of a three person hug with. Outside, Sakura stood beside the tent flap, wondering if to go in or not, but desided to talk of Naruto the enxt day in pirvate, and with anime sigh buble turn and go back to own tent.

DAY 12;

As of Naruto ops woke up, he was feeling of sexiness, and gorned and saw of Mei sexing his shape with her mouth. SHino wsa on sleepings still on the piel of shucons, btrething of wasy. Mei storked narutos'e shape, sexing it and fodling his b*lls, moning onto hime. "Oooaaaghh, Mei- I'me-" But Mei no stop, only of oncreease her sexings, so of Naruto to was with the throbbinsg in her mouth.

She was of thicks swalloinwsg, gaspt of air when done. "Good morning," Teh Mizukage say with stickiness. "Yeah, good so far." Want "Anything else before breakfist?" "Uh ermm... no, I'm okay. Eheh." Mei smiledt, and was up to clean of mouth. Komachi walkt in, and of the lokkings. "Breakfist is on, are you all readdy?"

"Shion rubt her eyes., being of the waking, "Hmn? Brekkist, Oh, jist a few minnets, bioutch." Naruto noddid his agreeings, And Komachi left of mack out, homie.

But rite when Naruto came. Out of his tetn, he was of blind foldid by Yurika! Hey, what's going on here?"

"You have s speacil kind of breakfasit todya, Naruto!" Saed Ami and Risa liek twins. "Dont woory of us, we alreddy eat in prepartiona for this. It was oatmeal with cinnamon owl feces. Anyhoo, you is task to guess is being to hold your food for you!" How am I suposed to doodoo that?" "Oh, you'll now," Tenten saied from ofver to the side. Someones' hand was to be of the guide him arond, and push hiem down onto knees. There was of sond of food being served, and muffldt gornings,. Hana or whoever(Naruto diddent nwok) push hisd head down of gentile, and he of smelldt the fude, it of spicky and aslo sweet, with warm anime smellings up to tickle the vagina's of his nose harise. "Eat" hana said, so Nartuo opined his mouth, and took of big bite. It was of being ameety chili, with a bread and cinnamon with gooeyniss and sugar, and he took of anuteher biet., likking up the chili from side- but he taste of a girl, not plate! He hold the girsl'ls but-tocks to eat pu all the cinamun roal and chili, his tungoe going deep of hier p*ssy and tasting the spicy and sweet of the sticky meat and bred. "T Mannnnn, that was delicshious! I, I think it was... inata!"

Hana liftid up his lind fold, and it was Hinatan! She was blushings, with some chili leaking of her vagina. But it was of only a quick., becuzse the fold was bak on , and he was being for gided the next girl of row. It was chili and cinamun roles agina, but there was of hair a bunch so Nartuo new rite away. "Mmmm, that on was Tokiwa!" He got quick peep of her to se of rightings, and then back down and for the next one. He of tell from small hipopsa and teh hair ot fwas of Sasame, and i he inhailed big to suck of all teh chili. "Yeeeumm! That one was Sasme!" The next ones were of Tenten and Tamaki and Samui, who give self away by her gornings.

Aafter Samui was a new smell, one Naruto of now good: He pinched of the Nudles with fingers, lurping up at the sauce, and licking of the gorsl's P*ssy to get all of taste. He hold up girls, and kepe moufh open as ramen fall in, and the sauce too. "That," H say, nowing of the girls p*ssy good too, "was Sakura!"

Kabutp tried of to keep from facepalm. "Do I even want to know what I'me inerupting" There was big anime rush of lines as all turned to lokk at the sudden aperince. "I coodl almsto laufgh, but that wood alert you to my presence."

"What are you of doing here, Kabuto?" Naruto askedt with pointings.

"It has cume to my atinsthion that you are in the lede of this farce Marada has set up, and that just cunt' happine. It for good of nigga world I stop you here."

Naruto stood of and taking off bilndfold. "Wrong! Tobi is of cray, he try to barnwash the wole whorld of his justu!" Naruto of got reddy for the fighteings, Staring tire at Kabuto.

"I woodent call it brain bawshing, you fool. You truly coodent undesrtand the anus of amphibian grateness."

"Well I may not know much, bute I now what love is!" Shoutid Naruto. "And all Tobi is doing is make of for more the big cicle of cl*t fury!"

"Fury? Heh/ Well since your'e all nakid, why donwty I strip down and sow you my snake?" SO Kabuto toke of his cloke, and reveeld his snake of arond his waste! "Then Kabuto made of with biting his anus thumb, and slam it of the grond, calling, out, "Snake Sumoning Justu?" Then there was big hiss, and Manda 2 looked above the walls fro a minnet! I think the tiem for talk has become of over, as words only copmpliacte the failyures of our humen condistshion, bitch." Naruto Jeapt up to begin aonf the batle, bust Shizune stop hiem.

"No, Naruto... this time he's mine."

"I'le beat you as of a whiny prison bitch, bitch. YOu no bete me once, no do it now..." Kabusto stared of Shizune, who seem to colse her eyes of defete!"And you might want to be fo do sometings aboot Manda, befroe youre villagje is gone agina."

Yakumo stood, and was of running off. "Yakumo! Wate!" Ami got up to floolw, and then TenTen dide to, jeaping over teh wall. "Is you so weke, to of youre wommin fighte fro you, Naruto? Well then I give of for you to fitehg 2.!" Then Madara Uchiha and Deidara and Nagato(Paein)! Jpeat onto the wall!Nartuo and the tohier gorsl went of to fight thime.

Dwon below, Yaukmop and Ami and Tenten stared of Manda 2's face, as it trash randem nodescirpt bildings with tail. W"Wanna go for it Tenten!" "yeah!" Then they of made the hand seals, and did the "Legendray Cullabo Jutsu: Reverse Moeteor Technique!" The big firey sfrperes vomited frume the Hokafe's mouTh, two caching Mandain body, but one of aim at head miss! Manda2 writeh from big ipmact's, and then Ami and Tenten jump for it being in hed! but, Manda swat with head, nocking down to grondu! Yakumo facet it getting reddy for of her big justu she coodl doodoobedo. reered back, and lunged of Yakumo as she jeapted for jirt,

It and being of to wasllow Yakump! "Nooo! It got her! " Ami shoutied. Shoo"d we still try to ataack it?"

"Yeahs, bt not of hed, in case of we hit Yakumo too." Tenten wooried. "Aha! I of use ane Erth Jutsu, sto slow it!" Then Tenten made of a cupple hand signsa, and yell! "Earth Stile: Dark Swamp!" Then grond trun to smwap under Manda 2, and Tenten began to breeth of hevvy.

"I'll take the jutsu from here, Tenten." Ami then took a swrod wich Tenten unseal from a just in case deal on her thighe, and charge of Manda , make ing her fire HCarka to come. from it, and slash of Manda in the swamp! It made good cut, but not of always througho! Ami bginaed to panic, as had of no good justu left with such small charka as she had at momint. And then Madan 2's pupside part of head explodiated with wirwhlind of bolddy stuff, and that part of Manda flopt down as the part not in swamp ndehind trasht some more. Then Yakump was being of waled from it, covered all of from head to footheel an blood and stuff of strings and chunks. "Let's go help Naruto," Yakumo said of deteminde face when she got to Ami and Tenten.

Back up of the Hokafe's head, Kabuto was of mock Shizune. "You say to battle me, but you only stand there napeing? What of joke. Here, wake up! I even let you use of justu!" Or you" He said to Sasme, "Here, free shot!" Sasaem sqweuiizdt out the grapes in her vagian, hitting of Kabuto in the eyss, to of him annoying laff.

"Sasame, Naruto and the others neede you help." Shizune said, of opening eyes. "I've gote Kabuto, trust me." Sasame heard of big expulsions, and race off.

"So what tecneek you have active, eye shadow no justu? Heere, I let you have free sho-" But then Shizune dart forwerds, and kick Kabuto therough the crownshapedt wall! She flew after hiem, and hit him with kick from Jeaping Stag kata, then fly to under hiem and land on grond, and used a SHoryukin! Kabuto landid in the blodd near Madna's cropse, and wipe his onw bolld from his moufth.

"So you're taijustu's improved, I give that. But it no enouff to beat me." Shiznue noddid, to be of agreeings, but then made super-qwuick hand signs! "Sage Art, i Shakles of Fate!" Then the Kabuto's ankels sink of it semed into the earth, wichi of spike into his cavels. Shizune then rusht fowersd and beat of Kabuto, using of all power she had, in big rush.

"This, this... but how?"

"Becuzse I no haev you sitrsoy the cuntry adn freinds and peace we all have fouhte fro."

"I don't dirstoy, it! You all of no undrstiand it be to create new world, betier one! You canot think this world is enouff, we bring you_"

"Shut up, you words only embiggen the failyures of you humen cuntidshion... bitch."

"ThiS IS MIASTAKTE! yOU NOW NOKW WHAT YOU DOO! YOU WILL NEVER CROSS LINE INTO UOTPIA!"

"i Wonk of the line, and I show you!" Shizune made of gentel hold of palm to Kabutp and it glowed with her charka. "Sage Art_ Dichotomy of Heaven and Eretah!" Then Kabuto was of made in spilt in two, a big cut hole leaft in the grond bewteen him and dwon back to Manda . Then to be of sure, Shizune ript out Kabutso's still beateing hreat, and place it of the grond. sHE drew of the jutsu digraim with bldoo then do c hand sighnes. "Sage Art: Priomdial Womb!" Then the blud falshed and sqwuigle to wrape aroudn Kabusto's heart, then made wtih anime glowings and and sank intro ripley ground. Shizune sigherd, an look up to see of teh batle with al fo Kastbuo's summins.

Moegi hit Madara with a Lighting Cuter, and Sune oafter Sasame was sealed hiem with a scroll. jutsu.

Then Deidara flew into air on expoldey clay brdi, and gave vilan anime speech! "I have an anus!" Naruto and teh others tremlitd of fear, and Deirdara laffed with vagina mockings. "And now for moy uoltimate Masterpiece!" He turned and of pulled up his cloke, and pulledt down his pants. "Fart of the Deth God barage!" Big fireballs alsmot as of Revrse Meteor shot from Deirdra, a fiery orgy as of liek the revenging b*lls of a eunuch. Mei did her Vapor style mist jutsu, and itwas being of only to dflame and shirnk them, not of stopeing,! There was still of bist of clay that make small bomms frome impact, scatting rocks like poo of fan hitting. Then Deidra yelled, and his palms lickt his but-tocks afor a bit before he pulled them open further, and the Barage got heavire! Naruto made Shaow Clonse, and jumpt up, being of atackingthe clay bosmgb, and his clones dispersrst of ast, adnsoonf Risa and Samui umpt up, manuvaring and punching and slicing for the atackings of the clay, bounding of higher up. But Deidarad increese the fowl agina! Mei increset the acidness of the mist to help, and Hanaand Tkiwa and Shikua jeapt to helpd, all the defend attackinsg make of streme of explousiongs from Deidaras' anus.

And then Nagato popt up behind them! Hinata and Yurika sense, and Hinatana use her Bakuyang to make of hit to heart point, but it no work! Goro see of this, and Rush over to combat with nagato. Her taijutsu was ovrewhelm, the Bear Fistings make Nagoato obddy turn to jelly mush with her power, and even of one big punch that blast trhouhg his chestie, but he begina to refomr, and then used Shinra Mako to pushGoro away. Bachiko saw and was of scared, her dark crimson hair blowing in wind fo justu. She ooked of Komachi for atackings, and as the ABNU dart of fowerds to be with attacking, Ami and Tenten were back up teh monaint! Ami and Komachi slicedt him of same time, but Nagato use substution Justu, being of higher of up monatin! He use the Water Trupmit justu, but Isaribi catch and use own water Turmpit jutsu, metting with of Nagatos'! there was a gib struggle, and in a moment Nagato jutsu overpower Isaribi'sj! It seme of bad sitchuation but Tenten was of use a chain, and it wrapedt of Nagato, and plued hiem down! then Shizune cume from the ounatinsaide and tackled hiem, takking to grond in a big pieldriver! It made big crader, with anime updraft of rocks and bolders in large exploshion! Then Yakump reupper, and use of Rasengan to kepe Ngato dwon. It oblitraetid low haffl of his boddy but of crose he was of reform quick. Sasme hurieed ovre and used her sealing justu to put Nagato of scroll, and of heartbete they of being reliefed.

But there was of still Deirada and his jutsu, which make of light of agnry suns in sky. Goro limpt back ovre, and stand with to look up for Deirada. "I can't see him! Where is he?"

"He's getting closer to Dierida," Karincuntfirmed.

Batling thorguh theexplodiations anrtuo swam throhg hurricanei of explosions, until finaly he was in range. He prepared the kuntai with expolding tag, and with rore slammed it into Deidaras' anus! The revied Akastuki blaoond epu, then explodiadtid

as of the orgy of a skull humping leper's penis, raining down like the love juice of a virgin uneuch. After landing of grond, Naruto and others beerth fro a momeint. Naruto look at girls, seeing they all of wooried lokk, but then Deirdarea begina to refrom of head taht fall in misdt of them! Sasame notis and of qwuicklyness use the srcoll sealing justu, puting the explodey Akstuki once and for jizz. They all breethed hevy of after batle , quiet things as ashes of broken destiny fall. "...Ife yoreo hurt, come in me. cloesr." Naruto and the girsl shufflet closer, and Shizune aadae of the hdan sleas and put plam of grond. "Safe Art Reborth Cicle:!" There was glowy spread from her palm undregrond, and litle bits of grass bgeina to grow, as all teh borns and scrapse wre healdt. The gowl fadded, and everyones lokked of themseflves, almsto surpised to be of saw that they wure heald of this gode.

Theiare was silents of sharing looks, and then Naruto say, "I is of reddy to face Tobi now." Sakura and od fother sgorls nodied, sharing of dtmernited look. B"But after of fight liek that I gonna nede some more ramen frist!" The hraiem face falted as Naruto chuckle, but af a minnet they was all headings down to vilaje to eat of Ichraku Ramen.

Naruto was reddy for restings, but it was of not tobe. Ino and Suzume and Tsubaki found hiem, wanting to join, and naruto of nice gie who want of face Tobi, so of course he let them, evfen though it was kinda awrkewd. He of cruose new Ino had shape or hot curves, band it was good but she insist of the three cheese orgy, and was of teasing hiem for almsot an horeu by playing with his shape, and sexing it, before be of serious and finish. And then she used the Secret Woman Grip to pull of naruto down to her, asking him for a sexing. Ino was of cray hot, and he think fuzzy and say yes, and begina'd to sex her girly parts and p*ssy with his mouth, being of hardfirm lippings and swirly tongeu, Ino gorning of whole time, until her love juice wazzled on Naruto's face. But Ino was of still no done.

Ino come on.,"

"Only is few days left, Naruto. Want of getting all I can. , this no happen before or after." Ino was of pull in Naruto, giving hiem kiisings and of lick her juicyness of his faec. "So, you acshually...?" "Of corase; I always of think you idiot silly gie but I always think you is of cute, too/" Ino was of pullush Nartuo back dwon to the cushions, grinding of his bod with her kissings, Naruto sqwuezzing her but-tocks and monign froe her. He got of achey tired shape, wichih Ino notis and stope of the big kiisings. SShe of breth with hevy lustings, and lean on side and pul op if leg, to being owf spred wied her p*ssy. "Sex me, Naruto. One last big time, sex me into next yeare. Sex me so hard your kids will fele it. GET. IN. ME. NOW!" Naruto did as was for of being asked, putin Ino onto back and slipngi his shape of her gaina, being of wild move to of maek sure his shape saty big, gorning as Ino use of girly musels to squezzke hiem, then pull down and give bitey sexing of her mouth to Narutso'se neck wiver mouth as he get sexing fury and pound her with his sexings. He try to saty of big shape but fele it shirnking, and roar and get of blinding sexing fury, felxing his shape and smash into Inos'e P8ssy. "Hhhnnnnneh, hnnnngguhhh , ohhhhhh, HHHoOOOOHH .! YEEEEEEESSSSS! YEESSSS YESSSSSS! OOHHHH!" Ino sqwueezitd of merga tite with her girly musels, and Nartuo trhobbed, thore he of no feel his love juice. "Ino..." He lokked of Ino, haer paltinum bblnd haire all of mess, faned out behind behind her, seatetwty and pandting. Narutoed pullt from Ino, but she STILL no let hiem of go! She gentiley m push his head to her breastices, and pull it to heirself. "Gvei me three niples, Naruto..." Naruto look up and seed of stile hurgny look in Ino eyes, and so he begina to sex Inos' nippel, and then of a s postbsied it, laching on and gving it of wet, sucky sexings froe a while, and he of dide left Ino with a sexings circel.

Ino smiel. "Now it of time for reale fun.." "What, real fun?" "Mind Bodye Switch Tecnieequwe!" Suddinly Narotu was of look asd thifmflse, and he have big mean ginr of his face. I reey shood have seme this cumming. He of begina to rub himself into shape agian, and Ino Mone as she put naruto's shape in her, felxing his shape and grabbing her hips for hard sexings. "Aaaaahh! Yes! I cood sex you all day liek this, I love of being with a penis!" Ino pickt up her spede, hiting Naruto of for being with super fast sexings, Narto begininag to gorn and rub Ino's girly buttin. He arck his back up for Ino, and she sudenly pule hiem up to of stand, hodling his wasite as she pound hiem, Ino's breastices kigling like jelo as Naruto sag backwerds. "Nartuo scremed of teh feel, shoting Ino's name. Ino give hiem mad hard sexings, and let Naruto slip of as he fly back onto piel of chishuons.

Then the swtwichy tecknqieu was over, and narotu Sink to knees, his face tpling over to land by Ino foot on cushin. It was of smooth skine, efven as mroe pale than ...other parts of Ino. Naruto no now wy, but he begina to kiss and masaje her fote. "Oh, ohhh, I... dind't wokn you wore a foot gie..." "Naruto no replie, thikning it more of heIno guy than of likking fete. Thoe Inos'e feet were niece, in away, Naruto cwraled up to beside hoer nad flop on baaack. "Ino... I think I'me done. I can't..." "I''' I"m preity worn out too... You got me good... Epsecihsialy befroe you strated lickinf my fote..." Ino say with wink. Naruto made a s tired scowly face, and Ino lafuohgt. I just wish this was on tape, Ino want to froget this, Nartuo..." Ino chillaxed with Naruto then, just breething easy and streching out n the pile of cishuions, bereof siting up. "Well, think I've hogged you-" Ino giggle at her pun a bit "Long enouffgh, I'le see ya later." Ino bursht aside the tenit fap, and not a breth laster in walked Suzume.

"Tiem fro me to teach you a pfew lessings ni sex, Nartuo!" Suzume fulng of hoer pinl limoano, reveling strappry black lether stuff of wich baerly cover her, and ixplicably she now had a wppih, too. She carcked it, and naruto gulpt.

"I alays knew sometiing was of weird in her," Sakura say outside tent.

"Ino nod along with Ami adn Tenten adn Hinata, menewilhe Moegi lookt to of burst with embarasings. Shizune notised this, and say with silly sugestings, "Whos eup fro a game of Duck Duck Goose. ?" The sily sjuestings made the younger girosl gigle, but all was noddy and agreedeth to palay. They spred out in big circle as of the p*ssy of a mniscule donkey, and Shiznue voluntered to be of it first,/. She strated of with Goro, then went all way arond the circel befreo saying "GOOSE!" of Tenten who she know of slower, and racedt fastly with speedings, back to Tenten's stop and sat dwon. "B'argh!" "Duck, Goose!" Tenten say of Samui, who surpised and get up for teh chasings, but she not catch Ttnten in time, but of colse. Samui ajdust her top, then clamly walk arond, ducking sevril of the girls before she of get to Mei, who she goosedt. Bute befreo Samui cood efven run away, Mei's arm shot out and caught her, and gave her Kill You smile and wagged her finger. Smaui huffdt and cuntinude her walk, Bfore coming. to Ami, who of she say GooSE! and dash off. Nowing of Mei's trick Samui do this on back leg, so Ami's wipe was no effect and she lose race back to her spote.

Ami ducked with meny of the girls, bfreoe getting to Moegi, who she say "Goose!" and ron uf. Moegi was fast, but Ami was outron and look ofver her sholder, and no see when run into Suzume! They land in complicated anime way, with Ami tangled in Suzume's strappy outfit, and of her face in the celavige of the Academy teachers breastices. She ge out with popo! gasped of air; and Ami see of where rite hand was and make of faceand pull out from. "You need to wacht wheaire you're goinge!" Suzume say , of trying to act like teacher still. But thine of a litle awkerd mominet when Suzume ookdt to Tsubaki. The fromer patrene of Mizukaia glancet rond, then look of grond as she do tiny qwuick smile and head to Narutos' bigina tenti.

He was of asleep, with fat lip and a mark of his ribs. Tsubaski took her tiem tsriping, slwoyl undoing hershrit and brassiere hooks,m puling dwon her shrtos and panteis, and folding all to put of neat pile, then unbradeing her ahire. Fuly nakdet, a she paded ovre to the piel of schuoihsons, sponing of Naruto, waitnig of beign to know what with for the hapen of male sleepinyss. She getinle feel of his b*lls and penis, getting of now how good Naruto grow of last few years. She see of his gode leanemuscel too, it of begin hard ands shommth , and of Nartuo's sent of manliness.; and Tsubaki begina of think her long for man aftre Mizuka drak of the tirge potion, lgning as of sail need wind. Tsubaki sloced her eyes and enjoy soft qwuiet mominet with Naruto, keeping of steddy hand n his crotchular area. it was of geting dark outside wen it hapined, and Tsubaki storked Nartuo harder, and wispered wakings in his eare. "H'nuh, who'se..." "It's me, Tsubaki." "Tsubaski, oh... OH. Ohhhhh, oooohhhhh..." Tsubakis turned Naruto to under her, and of slipt his shape inside her p*ssy, which had bene of growing wet as of ship saleing trhugo stromy seas of lustings. And of at last, the wind filed the sail and Tsubaki came buckets liek a virgin, gorning as she felt the claming justu activate one her. Tusbaki hanged her head, qwuitely brething, brifore giveing of him a long, slow, smoochy wet kiss from Nartuo's cavikle to hismouth, her tongue of darting in as shy puppy trying to stelae food of mean dog. But ist of no longe as Natusor wantid, of Tsubaksi leande op. "Its' of time for diner, lest' wahs up and go." "Oh, uh, be along ina sminute."

As tuskabi went to beo of lcene, Naruto think of the sexing, if Tsubkai wonk of hiem killifying Mizuki, then go to floow hear.

DAY 13:

Naurot woke up, as of being wro wtih the not knwokng wheaire he was, as of a druged pirson bitch. Then he of hefell bodies aginast hiem, and look to see of who it beign; HinatanS, Shion, and Mei agina. He feel niec of them, butof dumething was not qwuite roight. He wood of want to get up sneactky, but Mei was on top of him. His herat strate to podun at feeling of her shape on hime, nowing it was of a kage, and of what they had done. Well, uh, don't wanna get too excited and wake 'em pu leik that. So So naruto clered his thoret, and of say, good morning! Time to rise and shine!"

Shino rubbt his hip and but-tock and wispered of his ear, "Good morning, sweetie.," To the instatn braeking of his palnnings. "Good morning, Nartuo..." Hinata say frome other side, with a small shy happy moning. Mei groned and look up at Naruto with sexy slepey eyes, and smile that melt of Naruto's libido into pool of love juice. "And good morning to you, Naruto." "were you having a good dream?" Naruto made an anime morning face of frown and mumble 'not fair' "

"Well, I kinda wanted to get going and do some traneing today, and it semes liet its' olareddy of the mroning, soo..." "No good morninf presint?" Askt Mei. "Well uh, umm..." But Naortu gaived up when hiatna was of give hiem tickly kiis in his ear, and Mei and SHion wraped their arms arond hime and kist of hies neck and check. it was of gentile kissings, though Mei dide give Naruto a scary hungry stare once. Eventchoaly, after soft smexy fldonldings, Mei get up and Shino and hinata and Naortu floowed her, to the outside. Naruto seed it was of late mroning, with the other hairem gorsl areldoiydy up, with cumothsino ovre near one wall.

Narotu huried oefer to see, and Tamaki turndt and saw hiem aporach. "He's hear!" The grosl paritd, and he sawed of Yamato and Neji!

"Morning, Nartou!" Waved Yamato. "I haev some news for you that I think you of wanting to be awera." "Hmnehh? Whut's goind on, Cap'n Yamato?"

"Well, words' beene spreding of your leadings in the competition, and..." "Oh, so I'm in the ledea?" "Yes. and sa meny now of yoroue effirts aginast Pain and in the weraA... sevreal Harems have dropt out of the competition, includings that of Kakashi's."

"Ah now wya, why'd he do that? Dossent maek sents oat all."

"Its' because they believe in youe, Narout." Saeid Neji. He breefliye agalnce to side, "Iand they want to put theyi're weight beh-" Neji did of dubble take. "THAT"S THE FREAKING MIZUKAGE!" He pointid, with anime jaw droppings. "Ahiem. Pardon me, Lady Mizugake. As i was to say, they want to spuport you, and ensrhire you cum. In first." Neji gived glance w ove meneing to Naruto, who tooke of minnet, but then got what Neji ment.

"Oh... eheh, well, alritey thine."

"And the'arie's one more p'ece of news, bitch-azz muddafuggah," Saied Neji. "You erember our misthion to the Villaje Hiden in the straS? With the Metreoite?"

"Oh yeah, and that weird P-ockco justu. I remeberem." "Well, its' bee passdt on to me that one of their Chewunin has travled to Konoha, and wishes ot join yore grupe to renwer frendily relations between oruo cuntriees."

Narotu sieghd, nowing his palns of toufgh traning were of no happen now. "Well, I geuss you coodl tel her know I'me redy to meete hre, liek of say arond lunch." Neji and Ymato noddid.

"Well, thats' aoll we have fro you, Naruto." Saeid Yamato. "Good luck aginast Tobi." Neji and of Yatmao jeapted away, leveaing Naruto with hiot unesay feeling of stomach. He lokkde arond at the gorsl, and they smiel and swoly crepe in, then they hoistied hiem up and paraddid off to the big teint.

The Chunin from from Hosikagure, it urned out, wsa Hokuto.! She had of mreo frecles, and was very tall, as of arond same of Naruto hitegt, and she still of kept her hair in pnytali as of saem style of Anko, with the bagns farming her face. She say of how Sumaru was jonin now, and of how teh vilaje wa s recuvering,. Then she see of Goro walking by, anad give of nowking lokk, but she turn of Naruto and was for got readdy of clameing. Most of gorsl left, and as when of Hokuto was stripedt, Naruto saw of her shapwe, of curvy but avrije size wich naruto no teak eyoes of of. CL She climbet onto his shape, givings hiem slow sexings until her clame mark afalhsed, then look of Naruto and keep sexing hime for a cupple moreminnets.

And just of when Hokuto get upe, and leafvetd, another grupe of wimmen came. in, seeing of Naruto'se shape as he relaxicated on pile of coushions. Then he remebred they was of Kakshi's harem,: Kurostuchi, from Iwa; the ANBU lady, Yugao; the spy lady, Hanare; and Anko and Kurenai ! Theiare wure other's frome Kakashis' teasm, as well. Narotu tired to make his best sexings fro them, even of short only claimings, but it was of becuming hard. Yugao was of only claime, but gave Naruto many kissings as he sexed her, geting hism wet all ovre. He was wooried of Anko to use snakes or of makdde him bloddy, but she was asshouaaly of gentile, with soft grindings bfreo of efven puting his shape of her. Narotu moned her name, wich he see made of her to beinf with a smirk. "What's my name? I can't hear you..." She wispered of sexinyss into his eare, sexing naruto fatser. "Ankooo! AAAANKOOO!" The snakey kuntichi nibledt and of kiist on Narutos' jawae,, and of reacht arond to pull hom if his back, her fingerenailis of his skin. , rubbing him as she sexted him, girnding of her hipse. Narotu of yelled feeling her shape and her sexings, came so hard it hurt efven heof no feel love juice, and of Ankos' caleming mkra falshed., but she stay on of him, givfe hiem bige kiss of lips, holding hisback head in hadsn. Anko got of the sexing fury into her then, and sbecame of hungry with her kissings holding narotu of donw harder and grinding agina, tuching Naruto's b*lls and penis to get him of a shape agina, sqwueezing hiem of her girly musels and sexings, until she of feeled hiem agian. But hten she of surpised, to be geting of naruto, and lokk to Kurenai. "Gote hiem all niec and wramed pu fro ya."

"kurenai lokked of unscertian, knowings of Narutos' age, but still of seeing what he do of Yugao and Anko. Narotu sawed of Kurenais shape, and back to hies, and then of her, and then of his,,, and then bfroe hoe coodl look pu agian, Kurenai was of on his shape, making of shudery sighe as it go in herar, then of lened her head back for her sexings, Narotu no believeng she of had babby few montsh ago.. But kUrenai only of staly for clame mark flashing, through seh do of smile to Narotu as she get up. Lsat of ther wimmon Naruto no now from Kakshi's grupeo got down of hiem, and leaned forwerads to feel of his chest a bite aso she exed hiem, but she of no look looke cumfortalbe. "Whute is it, am I...?" No" No youre fine just of um..." She lookdt away, and Naruto see the NABU tatoo of her sholder as haire move away form it, liek curtin of velvity lackb. "The bottum, plese?" " Baorut noddid, and the ymanoovred so the knnocihi ws on bouttmo,, and oismediately she of achr to Naruto, and he see of pace she want, and strated his sexings. THe clame mark sone falsh, but Narotu see of the girl was semed of nice, so he cuntinde, as the gilro bcame of moninsg and groning. AAaauh Aaaauh! Okay, Okay..." Naortu stopdt of her then, and she sqwueezit his but-tock and gaive hiem kiss as she get up.

Of nexit was the bitch from Iwa, Kurotsuchi.! She had of meane ginr on her face., but no talk of mene. "Just chill, I of not bite... much" gshe ot on Narusto's shape, doing spinniy cros-leged jump onto it, sticking teh landing. sHe then wrpe of legs around naruto, and rol to on her sholders uspide down, of hadnstand, for some qwuick sexings then of hands walk arondi and spune, upming into air and doing barel roll otno toe coshions, whaire of she ladnind in top, sexing Naruto of reice before roiling naruto onto bely.; when she use legs to bdne his legs back, then she srteched nad puled his legs aand bendy hiem, puting hime in a Boston Crab as she sexed him, then kepe of on his shape and bedn of to lick aronkd Naorut's anus, then moev them broth on a rol to be back with her on top, sexing Naruto as of bull rider, stay of on hime thoe the try to sex her into ceiling. Kurosuchi creid out, her love juiceys make of tide on Narutos' crotchular areoal. She flaed onto naoarut, and he kiss of her neck, still with his ex thinkingsand role to her of buttom, and he kiss down to her breastices, where he of was for thebeing to sex her niplles of his oufht Kurotsuchi was of moaning, and of relesdt her love juice agina, and panted of sexy, feeling of Narouts baacak and sholders asnd he sexed eher other nipele. "I'me... I'em sore naruto, Esea pu for a bit,,," SO Naorut stopdt, as nad lookd up, and of move to kise of her nicek and jwa again, ruebing her p*ssy with his thie. Kurtosuchi gave Nartuo a bitey kiis of hism, then of gigle as shie kised hiem and kept of fellig hies bach. She moned and had small pulses from Naortu's thie rubeings, then of say, "Taht's enouf hoer now..." Ke podia haser, Naorut got upe, tired., but Kuortsuchi pulled hiem back down. "What, I note gode enoufh to stick arondi?" Narusot buslth. '"Uh ehmm, no you were defnitely grate, but there... I mene if you really want to you can cuame back latre but..."

"Oh! Thats' riteh, the other gorls... wele I just hold on to yoew fro a cupple more minnets..." Thene Korutsuchi became of niec and easy, snugling of naruto and of hap breths of h gove if one ltas kise of chkeck, and get up., Naruot opinton of her changed. Las t of Kakashi's harem to join was Hanare, but Naruto no rember his time of her, only see her CHIOCE AZZ as she walkdt away.

Then Shizune walked in, and sinted of embarasing she of looked cute and botifule, and she open reh moutfh to sya of sumetign but Naruto of sudnly wantid her, and puled her down for a kissing. "N-nAAorta! " Bute Narotu no let her speke, only of kiss her shape of him ans Shizune wraped her araonms araonda hime. The kissings slowed aftire a while, and oafter more they sotp and Shizune lokk into Naortus' eyes, with easy girndong of hisp to Naorut., then give hiem of kiss agina., holding on to hiem to kepe from falling off world. Naruto feel his heart paltiate as Shiznue look into his eiys oafter lening balck. "Naruto, this is noe of being whoat I came herar from.." "I dont care any more, I just worn out. I had to have you." "Whute woay did you need to have me...?" Shizuen ask of surpise shyniss, dawring on narotu's chest of her finger. "They of all triyng to... wel you know, but you aretn liek that, efven tough you... stuff." "i'me fine of the tohures, I now have of liess cuntepimteions after of this ovre.," Shizune say of with shy hungry stare. She of clerea thore, then speka in her doctor vioce. "I was here to hgive you a slightl heal of your goirn, and to masaje yore b*lls and crothcular musels." "Oh! Yeahm sonds good." Shizune noddid, and they boht of look to Narutos' penis. He loke away of ebarsist, and get of colth wto wpie it and his b*lls, of clening them.

Naruto relaxicated of the heeling justu and the masaje, colsing his eiys and feeling Shizune's sure hands sex him like shement it. And of then, it was of the evfenings and time for snackulations, fodo was of tighte wias the meany gorsl theairea, so there was of supres and sone portien bras, and of crose fried penises coatid in tampon-flavored cireal cumbs.; Anko ate most o fthose. As Naruto helpt Moegi and Tamakai put of the elftorevs, theaire was for more afriralsv to the base!

It was of meor wimen! Naruto rekicgnoized Kibaa's mom and a cupple meidc-nin from the hospital, but many of teh grpoue of 12 womin were unfamilari. Tsume(Kiba's mom) lead the way of introurdcing toehm,, stating their wish to join of Narotu's hareim., wich Naruto do. Doodoo his tierdness, it take of long tiem, into teh nights, and Narotu lenrad first -hand where Hana got her sexing energy from. Naortu was filed with antipciations, knowins of what batles may soons aproach.

day 14;

Nauro awoke, his b*ner limp and cold as the grave of a firefly. He lokked aroudnu, seeing of Kourtsuci on pilows withmpi hiem, as weill as HIanta and Mei. Sakura was of slepe acroos bootum of the tetni fapl, and naortu perseveod this was of to let hiem rest, and kepe t meny womein from cumming ine. He go to of getnile wake hpoe rp, shquing her anus of sholders, mobeing haire out oe her heyes. "Hey Salura, ist' t iemt to wake up."

"Sakora gave of slepey lokk, the yanwed as sje fot upe, stretchinsdg. "G'morning, slut girls! " Said said fo cheer, doing nice guy pose for them.

"Hey," Kurostuchi saied, streching.

"Want your good mroning present?" Askt Mei. "Well, uh-" But Narotu was interupt by Skaur pushing hiem to Mei, who lick lips and girn. She take of Naortu's penis into her mouth, and fro a momaint gave it bitey suckings, before it begina to get shape, and of then she usde softer wetter sexizings of her tongeu and lips, griping his but-tocks to bring hiem of colser. She giev looked up toNaruto, who gorned asd Mei of be long slurp to end of hies shape. "I'me geting a piece of that too, "Kutroschui addid, and Mei scootid ovre for the Iwa nigga to get in front of Naruto, and she took his shape into her mouthm givfing it deep sexings efven into her throet, hodling Nruto's but-tuocks and fdlong his B*lls. He fele aroms of arond his wasite, and when ofrn turn to seed it was Hianta, and she was of giving hiem a kiss. "This coolud be of preestn for anytime," She wisper of his ear, beroef kiisings hiem agina. Sakura was of no cary for of sexings liek as fo other gorsl evfven she like Naruto, but she of begian to fele left out so walkedt to his other side, giveiong of a hug to hiem and Hinatan and kiis Naortu of his hcek and neck.

So ina bits woth the goord morning persent donepend, narotu walked of tenti fapl and greetid the the grols who ewre fo trof brekadf sist. It was of Tsume and Hana, and Isaribi and Moegi and Yakump. They all of seay helop Yakumo doing of super-cuet eiye smile. Theyre wof wereoa amakdon taost, with some niew cookinsfg stihng naortu no nowl they buy, it look liek a robotic vanigus, tosating gode on bothe sieds. "I uh I was - I had soemptghins O was gopna sao in just a niger, so Ife yo codleu wiaate..." Yakumo and Hoan a noiddoedi. And naortu cofguht and raisdt his voice. "Uh good morning girls,! There's soemtphing I wanetid to say to you all, so could you come? Out?" One b onus they did, theyr'e heads pokinsg out like girly buttons from a p*ssy befroe leveaing tinets to gaither around Naruot. "Well, it's the aslt day of Tobi's challenge, so... all of yoew hoave bene good to wokn, and heave been of good helps, efven of tings like only cook berakfast, it mene a lotw. I wussent shure of how thise woodl tourn out, but it of been a blast, you gise of make it dreame come trve and so I with wanting to each and evrey wone of yewo..." Naruto no frosee this, of getting of the tears. "Th- thanks you, yew all make my penis feel liek a fruitfly on a pile of poop. Thanks.." Tenten was tuched by Naruto's graeashis words, and he saawed of a hard balzing lokk in her eyes and ashe jog to hiem, and wraped o her arms around Naruto in a big hug, and kisssed him of more passhion thean aever before, sune teh other gorsl joinedt ina, naruto faeling lips and tungoes and anuses al over hiem. The Toast was of ding up., with an anime inuedno.

A of frist it was hrad ot trane with Tenten wraped of him, but after pulsing on hiem for secund time an a minnut she get off. and starte to work out with Goro and Ami and Hokuto. NAruto made clones and did of he coudl to trane with all theh gorsl, with teh medicio ninjas and with Yugao and Komachi, and Hinatan and Kurenai and Shizuka and Ino. Naruto's penisn lifted into the winds, as if to fly away into a true vagina of comfort, adn thoe it coudl not soar it stode in dfeiance of it felshyl bonds/ Moegi notised this, her eyes being of drawn to the appednage, bute nowking Naruto liekd the older girls, and silently wept for the phimosis of her destiny.

Naortu kept up the hadnr traneings, seeing teh goslr wstihc up,liek Goro trainreindg with the Izunuaka'S, and Samui with Shion, and Sasame with mei. Naortu was of gifeing the grlosig a pep tlak, teaching them of power that's indsied.

But then Naruto fartid! Teh fetid smeel was as of the jizz of a goshtly skunk cumming to them from the past of a forgottein memoery. Kakashi walkedt in, by, seeing the forzen picture liek a bluebarry popsicle. "Am I interupting...? Or do I even want to wokn?"

Naortu onforze.

"No Kakshi sensei, just diong some training."

"Smell liek win. Well anyhoo, I just came. By to tell you, it pretty much in teh books. Tehre have bene a foew late ...surgies, but your closeist cuntepmitor only has 17 on his team. They'll probal'y dicklare you whinre after lunch." Naurot noddied his heiad with thinkings, birfore of with the askingaot: "So whose in secunt?" "Gaara." Naortu facefaluted, and Kakshi did his eye smiel as he begina to walk aoway., his b*nes liek the diggigns of a mleoe.

Hiantan still rember of the mornigr, the wakings up of with Naruto. "Wood you liek a victory present?"She askedt, looking of the gronud and then upe to Narout. "Well I'me no waatei fro it to be afishiola! Tenten say, jumping of Nartuo agina, and then naortu's griosl wraped up Nartuo in a licky blankite of sexings.

It was of as with Kakashi say, whlei Nartuo'se glirso and hiem was of to eat at Ichiraku ramen, thaire was of big justsu in sky liek of Tobi, but this time it of Tsunade. "Attention shitizens of Cuntoha and the Alied Shionbi Froces: the challenge set by Tobi has of now endid! Though thaire wuore meny valium effoirts, in the ...end only on nigga was victoriouse. He is a yougn man who'se penis is now of legend, who'se orgasms are the antheim of our freedom, he is... Naruto Uzumaki!" Theyre' was of chreeing and most of lauffghter , and seom peeps strated to chant Naruto! It ermind the jichurioksi of wehn he retruned to his vallaje, with of people chreeing hiem. After a mominet, Tusnade cuntinude. "But this is not final ustlimadte edning; Naruto and hiw simmen will face Tobi adn 3 ouhrs, 21 mionnets! aNd 0 secunts! So Naortu, it is of time to prepare! Raise you b*ner up for Konhao, and the woleh world!" Thaireo was bige wave of aplause, and Naorut move to ayp fro his ramen, but Teuchi stopt hiem. "This ones on me, nigga." "Thanks a bunch!" "Itsl the leseat we coodul fo dor a penis as mnagicficent as youres,,," Ayame said. naortu Bulsht, then waasevd goodbue and left of back fro the traneing feild with his harem. The tiem passed with woorying,s, Naruto triyng to be of figure out masterbplan for beeting Tobi. , bute befreo he knwe it, the time was up!

"Are you reedy, nAruto?" Asked Sakura of hime. "If you're with me, I'm reddy fro anything!" Naruto say to her, of the Nice Guy pose. Sakura smiledt and gave hiem a huge, her fingers wadnerfindng theair way to Nartuo's but-tocks, into his anus for a breif moment of sexing.

"Okay everyone!" Naruto shoutid. "Let's chillax fro just a monimet, and have a bit of fun. I porsmie tis is no end of wrold!"

"He's right," Samui saied to being with of agreeings. "Just keepe a cool hdae, dont' get too wooriend. Heare," Samui saied, pulling out onae oaf he breastices form her tope. "let's chill, gise." Then of Mei and Tokiwa and Ino did the same, and soon all of Nartuo's girls dide, asdn they strated rubeing their exposde breastices aginast each otreh, then toucheing them and kaeikng of cunetcetd circel arodnu Naruto, humming a wordless tune. and hopping up and dwon a few incheis.

"Do I even want to know what I'm Interrupting?" Tobi asdkt. Godzilla music played ash theiy're heads whiped to arondu Tobi. "Youer hour of reokcinkg has come, Nartuo! The curse of hatred wil revele its' final truth to you!"

"You're wrong,! As cray as thies may sodun, I start to no hate you Tobi. I understrand more of anyone want to end cicle of hate and live in bettier world- but if you think be whining this battle yoer' wrong! It 44 to one!"

"...wrong- it is forty-four to 2" Then of a women apere from Toibs' jstu dumention, and then thyed sede it was... Tsunade! She was of nakaead, her ahire of dwon form its pigtaless and blow of with the wind. Inexplicably, Tobi was of naked too, and he thursted into Tusnade, and there was big anime squence of cluse-ups and falshings of light as Tsndaue's clame mark activate. "Oh, and I brote some of my fredins to wacht." Tobi snapt of his fgignners, and his Six Paths pooped up!. Naruto saw of hies fromer jichnuriki peeps, and gave of order.

"Sasame and some other if you want to help, taaek care of the Paths fro me." Sasame noddid. and separated of to side. "Everyone esel, flite formaatishion! Karin, lest' go!" Kainr jogedtarondu to naortu, bedning ovre for Nartuo to put of his shape in hoer. Fingers went to anuses, and soon Narotu's harem was of up in air, Tobi following them soon. Naruto of hear soduns of teh fighte witht he six path, and Tobi poitend of them to begina a speeking. "Strength in nubmers a liw, the nubmer is one! I shall swho youse!" Stuande dartid ine, adn Narotu adn hise gorls did the rocket bosto away. "We cunata' let thiem get to close! Ami, Tenten!" Twhe tow threw otu a baraage of shurkens, Ami's of wtohi thie fire charka and Tentens' wothi exlploding tgast. The Othier gorsl heldps too, throwsifng tlso of shurkines and Ckuntasi. But it seme to now work, Tsunade of begine of with the sfpashe trowuhg the atacks, zizgaggina towerdsa Naruto. But Tenten had hers on stringsf, anad puled them back arondu to Tobi; one gote hiem bute the resti dimsed...

Menewhile, Sasame was of cnfrotned Tobsi' Diva Path. She treid of thrwoing sume of her shurikenesat the girl, but she used of a mytresious froce to defelect them back at hier!. Sasame caoghut one of them and ran back ina fro an taccking, but it push her away agina! "It be of no use," The green hiared orls saied. "This be of batle you nowk hope aot swoin." then the girol begains ot grwo charka wings like of a beatle, and was fly to Sasame! But Sasame was ready, and made of qwuick hadsn signs, and put of plam on the gorndu. "Ifninite Embrace!" A qwuiare pilar of purple lgith shote upe , tarpping the grene haried girl on it. She made of s acreamy face, and her charka wigns filckered. To eb the qwuick Sasame puled oute s seaeling scroll, aand then of pute the girl away into it. But now of Tobis' other pAths' notis her, and move int! Sasme being to bapnic, but Goro rush to help, and aslof Moegi!

"Sasmase! The onus with the stafe can absord charaks!" Goro warned. "And the one with armors has laser beams! I coudlnet hurt it much, erther." "Then I'le take care of that one, bute I nede a bit to parepare," Goro Said. Sasmea and Moegi covred fro her, Mwith Moegi doing Kirin to hit the old guy of Tbiso's Paths, and Ssame seaeld hiem. Ite was of tought with all the atackcings to kepe the apsth Away from Goro, but it was osnfly of the for long eounuhgf, and gOro opined hore weiyse from meditatshion! "Readdy now!" Shie made the Tiger ahdans signs, then go oaf al froues. "There was of falmaey f charka goo ovref her boddy, "Safe Art: Qulin Micimry technique!" Then Groo mbe of rampage, of swfit firerce and grasefulc manuvers. The oen of Tobis' Patsh with the glon boldn hair was of to summon big huge animsla, to surond Sasame and Meogi and Goro.

Back with Naorut, they was of trying to be long streme oaf jstus, but Tobi still of phase with Tusnade! Mei was doing her misty justu, and Kurstochusi some lave natured jutsu's making of a lava field blewo, and Ami adn Yruika did frei jstusu's abovefe them and Samui adn Irasibi did water stremae jtusu's and Komachi thwer bunchies of nideels and Tenten msounnod tlso of weppzun to shootings, evreyone helpt outs a lot. The backround music got louder, and Tsunade chraged in, and did her Nevrous Stsysem Ruptreu attacinkg on Samui! Samui atreid to atack bkca, but staraped flapping arondu. Efven of spilt secdoni, Tsunade and Tobi got hit of needles and knunati. naortu"S Haremi kept of the attackings streame, but Tobi and Stunade came. in agina, up to the front. They sawed of Tsunade panting, and then she yell; "Nigga art: Queef of Destiny!" There was big anime burst of acid green water form Tusnade's p*ssy wich go veroe the girsln In the front of the filght fromwatiosn,. They screaem, and fele a bruning of like as to being with acid! There was replay of attack from 2 difrent angles, adn then Tobi and Stuandea was to pshae away trhogu more attackinsg.

"Oh no! Are you gise okay!" Askted Naortu. "No, woe of nieod water!" Sadie Skaura. Israbi noddied, and did wa aswetre justu to wash of the goopyniss, wich still brun but only as not bada. Naortu gave a sruge of charka sto his gorsl, and of the spekeings: "Let's keep upe, I wnoke we'l get thim! We already dide once!"

"But we of going for nearyl 5 minnets! and onyl once!" Complain Bachinko.

"Dont' woory, we can wine this! Beleive it!" Naruto gorned and Sexed karin for a secundt, and then flied them oof to Tobi and Stunade.

Back dwon belwo, Goro's rapmage reach of stope point with the Asura Phat of Tobi, the big armoerd gie. She of get otehrs, her atackinsg foer beign to freice and she soerhvwehldm the otherso leaving pieces of them liek the braf of a 6 year old. Samesa heseleads swent of seleaisng those, with Moegi to back her up from the others,. They of weant to hlepa Goro aginast the armor gie, but it was to dagnersou to get esolce. Goro kept of her al fours hard atackings, but Han(thast his name) was of strike with furries too, and it hwas hdard to keep of evefen of hime. Han dide stemae justus, and they of killdaite the planst down to the drit, but of Goro'se charka kepet hier sage. Kowning of this, Goro got readdy and did spning tsepts and cross arms, then jeapt forwerds and did of slash of full power with her hands- and it borke of hasn's Armor! He still fited back but nor as strpng now, afnd afteir a few more hard attackings he stubmled back, and Goro breeathed a pulne of shinyn wihte fire that punch throuhg hiem and wash overonto the ma lava fields of Mei and Kurostuchi. Goro's Safe Mode charaka was of used up, and she breathe hard as she call for Sasame and Meogli. They dasht ovre, S adn Sasme sealedt han of her Scroll.

"Naorut!" Sasame called. Goro and Mogli joietndt in callindf hiem, and aftre a minnet, Naortu and the gorsl botsoetd around to pick themie upe. They sawed that Naortu adn the girsl wore of beat, and hade wuneds.

Tobi flied arondu to faecs them with Tsunade, the heat makinsg miraje draft thigsn from the lava flieds. "This is of final houre, Naruto! You is of show gode untiy, but gratest is of untiy oafter dETH!" Then Tsunade mad eof hadn signes, and said; "Lighteninf Style.,: Lighetening BlaL!" a Hugea golbe of liteningh charka fromed in front of hier, and then shote to Hanruato and the grosl! Teten had of qwuick thinkings and did a chain of wepunzs from a srcroll to grondu to chanel away the ataack, but itmuved away and burstid of craclkings of Naorrtus's haierm! Thaire were criesa of fillinfg the aires as of the painings of as constipaterd tailed beesat. Music of omnious chantinsg strated of the brackoundu. Tunsade flew in for ahd t-hand beetings, but only of to Samiu and Komachi before Naoartu amnverd them awuya. Shizuen did of her Posion Breath jstusu, and Tobi and Tusnaed flew of righte throweu it! but they of no die!

"How is this!" Say hSizune.

"Now that of the end is nie, I revelea the secret: The clameing jsutu had of two pirpusero: to enhacnie youre powers, but aslo... to dranie of youre charka and gife it to me!" Tobi said with villaniyt. Narutos's hareim and hiem were of big shockings! I stile have of mroe charka than aefven Naruto now!"

"So that be of the recharge nede,..." Say Shizune, who got of frowny face. "Exactly. " Tobi saide of smugniss. Naruto gaev Karin t2 taps on her ritegh but-tock, and hes pasdt o the secrite signal algon/

"GO!"! Nartuos shoutied, and all hies gorsl make of hand siglnas, doing jsutsu aimed of Tusnade ond adn Tobi. But he of lafft, and asbroded thiem with his Rinegan- but thien Mei and Kurostuchi clones popt up arondu hiem,! He gaeve of mreo laffings asnd to bei of the swatting thiem atway, but it no work! His hasdn stay insdie the conles! Tushnade was gote thies wayt too, and had of a pain face, and came of Tobi. Lava stile Clones?

TI "Time to make some marmalade..," Say Naruto. He toke his grils forwerds after Tobi and Tsunade as the lava clones weiyghed them down. Risa and Shizuka got in a few good attackings, but then of Stunade use clones to nokc them and Tamaki adn Hana away! Yurika sawed of Tobi only haeve one eye open, and begin to speak of this when Sesame open mouth frist: "Gise, do you trust me?"

"I trsut you, Sasme." Said of Naruto, and othier girls nodeed. Hoping up to frunt of the fromations, she got Shion sto put her fingers in her anaaus, and when Tsunade lened down to smash of the clonse form her hands, Sasame mad eof the hand sign and say, "Ckahra Thread Tecinhique!" Tobi eye raisd, but he was to slow to evade it with the clones of him, and it wrapedarond hiem,. "He screamed, and a mountain explodicated in iwa. "This, this ise oure pain, Tobi! Tish is pain of ninja form al around the world, made by you! We won't let you wine!"

"Sasame, cut it befreo impact!" Yurika say. Then jusmping upe hie,, she sumersoualt ed ovre Stunade, and shote a shuriken from her vagina! It catch Tobi of with surpiseing, and hit hiem of good eye, the Rinegan! He yelledt and shake of the shuriken away, as Yurika landed back with Naruto. At of theat, he stubmle back from Tsunade who had of hadns free now. Mei made of hand signs with Korutsuchi, and their clones were of sunk into ground some. Naruto flew by and picked up Tsunadae, and then when some away, Began to make of a raSen-shuriken, but Tenten stopt hime.

"NO, Naruto! Don't you get it? If you strike hem dione, you only cuntinue the cruse of hatreid!" New backround music(Destiny, of gAlneryus) started playing. "I take lead hear, but I'le neade charka from all of you. Believe on me like you of believe in Narout, we can do it!" She of hop to the front and Sasme put her fingers in Tenten's p*ssy, and felt of the flwo of everyones's charka, and she puled out a kunai, and hold it forwerds,. There was anime glow from it, and then of it started to spine, getting bigger, as of the first b*ner of a young virgin. Finaly it got to be of size of a grey hondu busey, and Tenten of screaamed, "HIden techniqeu: Gigga Drill Br***ker!" Then naroutO's harem roeckit Bosoted down into Tobi like a forgoten penis of hope into the p*ssy of the future., with a bige anime exlploshion, that explodid again like a flower bloowming in the uterus of love.

At of the last, the batle was ovre. the backrondu music turnt down, And Naruto bit Karint on the sholder. Her heleing charka went out frome hier to all Of Naruto's harem, and they of felt better enoufgh. They got out from the flight formantions, and they went arodun to pick up Samui and the other girls kncodet of dirung the batle, and Shizune and Sakura and Tsundae healped them, Tsundae undiong her Nervous Sistem Rputrue of Samui. naruto Looked around at all of them then, feleing of a smile. "We did it!"

But then the backround music stoped, and Tsunade shook her head. "No, there is of one final mesure." There were big shockings on the faeaces of the Harem, and anime lines as they lokked to The Hokafe. "The jtusu is of permaneint, and so of for it was remained, then Tobi to be of resireucted after enoufgh justu used, and he get of chakra."

"So we diddent really do it?" Tenten said, with fearilu askings. "Not quite, for of to brake it, Is I the keystone. I of must be clamed after Tobi dfeted, and then it stope." So then all was loke to Naruto then, and he gulpt. Tsunade who made come here finger to Naurot. "Maek our villaje proud," She say to hiem with sexiness in ear. She srated toucheing hiem, and then of pule hime in for big kise. Naruto begina to get a big shape, of seeing Tsunade of greate kissing, feeling her big shape of press aginast hiem in they embriace. Naruto moned, his whands wandherinding over the Hokage's back. aFter a mominet she pullde theim to the grass, and moned of theri kissings wraping her legs over Narotus's back his shape and b*lls pressing aginast her p*ssy, and he strated to givfe her smal sexings. He lookedt down of Tsunade, nda her swepeing cruves of her breastices, and he touched of them before Tsunade gaev ihifme a hard lusting look, and he moved up and got with his shape to the being of inside her, to her vagina. he sexed her with gruntings, her girly musels sqwuieezing hime tieght, and Stundae begain to rise up,. Naruto tried to hold her down, and sexed Tsunade efven harder, but she kept going up and suddinyl they were floating in the air, Naruto of holding Studnade fast around the waist, banging her hadra with ahis as esxings, her breastices jigling some as they slowyl turnt around adn lifted up into the air.

"Has it gone yet?" Naruto was asked of a grunt. "I haven- AAAAHH HNNNNGuh, no, not yet," Tsunade replide, holding of Naruto adround the neck, leaning back a litle. Naruto began to lick and suck on the creamy skine of Tsunades's breastice, enjoeying this new taste of hise HOkafe,. Tusande dureticd his head dnow a litle lower, to her nippel, where Naurot locketd one his moufth, gving it an nip with his teeth, mixings in gentile bitey sexings with his suckings/ Tsunade 's moning got louder, bringing Naruto's b*ner to full masximum hard insied her, and he strated sexing her agina, agina. He gaeve yelling grones, his Kage's p*ssy getting of highe intamate heaat, his penis almsot of burst into lusty flames. Tsunade felt of the heteata spreding from her girly musels, making her gut and p*ssy start to be on f tense uope, wokning the momenit was close. Narutos'e tongeu hang out a bit as he moaned and lokked up to her, and Tsunade cored his outh with hier own, giving Naruto a lusty kiss with smototh tungoines, and then naortu broke it of his leaning back, ginvging a yell, jamming his b*ner into Tsunade as he begain to throbe in her, and Tsunade strated to pulse, Naruto hearing of her own sexy monae as he felt his love juisce shoot into her in big shotes, and felt her love juisece burst onto hiem. Tsunade felt a heat one her loerewer back then a tingle that spred back to her girly musels, casuging themi to cnliench and shuder on Naruto, who throbed in her one last tiem, and there was big anime burst of fireworks that spiral and then from Tsunade's back, and then boom of around them, as they floatid gently blkac to the grondu.

"You dide it!" Sakura explcaimed. "Our clame marks are gone!" Sakura had of a crying hapy look of her face, and she and Hinata and al the other rusht over to give Naruto his victory peresnt.

So now after they wetn back to the base and got healed more and chagned, into fewrsh clothes, they was all haveing a big ol' meal at Ramen Ichiraku. "Wea've been making this since yesturday," Teuchi said.; with froesighte. Naruto smiled, and stile of saw Ayame and the two new gise working at more in teh back.

"Call me cray," Saide Kurostuchi, in bweteen eatings of Ramen, "But I think I'le miss you when I go back to Iwa." Hokutoa noddid with agreeings, and so die some of ther other grosl.

"I'le misse flyign," Ami slaminted. Adn oal of narout's girls gave mrumed of agreeings.

"And I'll mise you guise to," Naortu said. There was oaf qwuietings in Ichirakuo Ramen, and peepole turned to Naruto. "This have been of cray, but also of fune; I've moade of new frends and had of goten to know odl onse bettrei. But... of some frends not tsay arondu, and I have one I stile need to gete back..."

"Sasuke, righte?" Asked Mei. "Uh-huh. And but... I see now of famliy, and freinds, and want to show Sasuke he of still hasf reinds Heare, too. So... ife yoo gise cood, I'de reealy aprecishioate it if you came. with me, for to get sAsuke."

"Sakura noddid. "And you can do it Naruto, I'le go with you!" Meny of Naortu's grosl noddid, efven of like Samui. "I now to now only way of beating hate is of frends and teamwork." Then Naruto smiled of agreeings, and anime haapy music strated to play.

Epalog

Theaire was aplause as the theme music of teh show, fadded. "Welcume back to teh Mori show," Saide of Mori, an d kinda odl gie with gray hair, weraing of cumforteable drak colours. Now fore oruoe next gests wea've nexer hade anytohoing liek this befreo- over the lweast few mutnchs the swho has been geting callas from al arondu the Five grater Natishions, from over two dozen wiommen, claming this one nigga is the father, and- okay, Takashi just handead me the totale nubmer,"Saide Mori, hodling up a indecsk card. "#6! Thirty06 wimmone from places likes Iwa all the way to the Land of Bears, ninjaas from all waaskl of lief have been caling my show, saying this one man is teh father.

Now, fro thies to be treo, al fo thease womein must haveb beene sexed aardoun the same time, and the disatance betwene some of these laddies is incredbile, yet the callas persost. So whute we dide was fly in all of thsees womein, and theyr'e here on the show today- and youe'wl be surpisered to see some of theim. Let's geit a shote of them, coudl we." Teh camrea switched and got looke of teh frist few rows, wich of filed with ninja, like of Tenten and Hana and Tokiwa and Samiui and... Tsunade! Teh camrea tostyaed on heir for a momeint, befreo changing back to Mori. "And that was indede the Hokafe, ladsei and getnliemen. Al olfs these woemn have bene gifeven patrenity tests, and to say of the elast the resolts oraff schokcinsg. HOweveir, there is one more man who has caled, ands saaid to be of the father of one of these women's babbies,- only of one. So lets' bringa that women ouat to talk, shall we?" The crwod cheered, and then the guest music played. "Ladesi and gentliemen plsea rise fro the Mizukage of the lAnd of Waoter, Mei Treumi!" Out walked Mei, of having a big bellie, and asloof shroter hair, onyl to her bute-tocks.

"So this myetsery gie nailed toeh Mizuakage?" Kiba askdt, pointing to teh TV.

"aparently," Sreplied Shizkamaru. , eating a potato chip. "Ridcuolous,.." Kiba wispered of self.

"Lady Mizakageu, thank you fro cumming on the shwo today." " Oh, it be of no truoble. " "Now, may I askeding, where were you wneh hte child was conseved/"

"I was of Konoha, with the Alied SHionbi froesc."

"I see, so that opines teh dore for the father to be fo fomr potentshilaly anywhere. And who long where you ins SOnkoha?" "Just of a cupple weeks, untile the war was ovre. And. of the babbies frather , he of frome Konoha or Kiki. " "Frome Knoha or your home twon of Kiri?" "Yesh." Mei gave of a smile, and rubed her belly.

"Mei, that of lots of roem to work with. Are of you sure?" Popsitieve." "Mei, are yous sure?" "Mizukage don't lie, nigga." "Alrighte, okay. Now, without giving away to mochu, lets' talk aboot the potnsthiol fathers,; start withe teh onesu formr Kri."

"Oh, hiem I've nown of long time, he a gode yung man-" "Esxcuse me, may I asak how yung?" "Of 17 years." "Sevnetene. Cuntinue." There was of mrumuorings in arudinece as Mei spoke agina. "He is of yougn, but a prosiming nigjnja. Poeple get dwon on hiem because hes' shie, but ther'si of a stgroned isde of hiem, too. He of grwon so much, and matchured into oustnadeing nigga."

"Okay, he sounds of a niece gie, now tell us asfew things of the Konoha ninjaf." There was of shote of the girplsin the odieanuce agina, of them being nervoius/

"Hey! TH_ that's my sister!" Yelledt Kiba.

"And you're moms' ritehg beside her," Choji pointeid out with no helpings, aand he munch on chipes. "Nono, no... thsi, it cunt be..."

"Oh, the Konoaha boy?" Mei lkaffed. 'I Mastrubated to hiem every day tile I gote back to Kiri. I lvoe thate tieghte little but-tocks of hise. He... of sweet, bute he aslo have big fire inside, it of hise nigga way. The way ke heisd me, I knew he was of watning me, not just to of b*ne teh Mizukafe. M He made me of being to fele as woman fro firts of long tiem., he hase fo that sincerity and spimle briteghniss of hime." Mei of smiled at to Morei. "I haaepyp wonking that of who the father be, my child will be babbyie of a rheoi."

"And mae I ask, how is of odl this yogun ningaj from Konohase, Mei?" "He of a litely yunger than the other." "So are we of tatlking 15, mabbe 16? Thats' brodieing on ilgeal, Mei."

"Ninja lwa isa of daidfretna, it no ilgeal. He is of man, he fireghted on teh war, as did the other."

"So wodlu wyosu saaoy you go for this yogun warraior type, or...?" "It no young waoriorae toeya, Mori. Teh mein amy age, they of only see the Kage, and to be of intimatedaed, efven if of good niece gies; it begin of these two gaot to knwo me as Mei, wichiw I like fro men ovre nwokng as Kage. Adn... I wood not say as of they being warioaiar, types, I thikna as that of onyl be they poresffsion."

"Alrighte. Well we is of ahaveing theim abroth backstrage, so let's bring one o theim aout. "Chojruo, come on in!" The gesut music played, and foa f young nigga with wblue ahirea walked onstage, to stiso of next to Mei on teh beige couching. She leaned oaver a dn gave hiem of kiis, fdonling his crotchular areal. "Chojuro, gode to mete you." Mori says, with hand shakings. Theer wase of awkwrad, as lall see Chojuro was of bgeting a shape from Mei's kise. Mori look aout to the crowd, and went agina to for the speaking of with Chorujo. "Now, How long have yoau KNown Mei, Chojuro?"

"Well, oef her begin teh Kaaage I know of sicen she toke oafice,a bute I is to being her boddy gruad for just aboot 2 years." "Two years. So, tell me a cupple thinsg you admiea aboot Mei heare."

"Wlei, she of keep ofpena minad, to be of fowerdas thinkinsg. Kiri of be from hard tiems, befreo her, bute she turn thiasng arondu. And, she of havinag a beautfil smile, tlike the dawn of anuses on codl winter morn."

Mori noddid, touched. "I can really se the cuntectshnio between you two, but I wasnt to ask... has thaire always bene this, sort of... underlyign exual side to youres' realthipship. ?" Mei shoke her head, absinthe mididely rubeing CHorujo's thiegh. "Ther of be nos tension, but jsut until resently. I of see how CHojuro was of grown adn cute now, and of knwoing of crose how he wood alwyas loke at me, so tedner and kind. I ewkn it was of the tiem then, give Chojuro all oaf me."

"Alrighte. Well, we'al be back after af qwuick word froma aourh snoposers, bizzles." The comearcshila music played, as they crowd clapted.

"So apreaintly Ino was no reealy on S-rankedt mishion," Choji said, muhcning on chips with btreayal.

"Semes like freacking' evreyone was there, I efven saw Kurenai-sensei.," iba laminted.

"Well, s It kinda figgures she wodul of want someune after Asuma-sensei passdt away," Shikamaru siad. "But what blow mymdni is of seing LAADY TSUNADE there. Becuase one, she either is fan of The Mori Show, or two..." Shiakmaru left the ofvbiosu asnwer in the air, and of looke back to the TV, of seeing the 'Wazzup?" iwa Lighte Bere cumercshila on.

"But who coodlu this mystery gie be? Kakashi? I wonk of hiem haeving a big aherem, and aprenatly hei's to die fro wihtoute his mask." Kiba conpustulated.

"Or Shino,"Shiakmaru saied. "There are of thigsn I heard the grosl say of his bugs..."

"Reealy , Shika? I'me eating." Kiba said, bragind anotreh hadnful of chsp. "But he deos have point," Choji say. "He dide have 17 aat the end, and I wonk Hinata was with hiem." Kiba and Shikamaru noddeid, and tHe Mori Show came back .

"Alrgihte, Welcuome back to het show! Wea're heare with the Mizukafge Mei Teruim and her lover Chojuro, getting to kwno them befreo the patrutneity test results are revelad. Now, Mei, CHoruoj, I jst w sawed of you tow look viery haepy togethier, so I of wanted tio ask how the secundt man has impacteid your relashtthship."

"Mei looked of CHojuro froa secuntd. "I think of hiem sometimes, and send hime... pictures."

"So some lucky bastrad has nude pics of the Mizukage,aa" Kiba said. "Remind me why I strile try to date, because this mystery gie clearly wins at evretyhgins."

"-and he is of important nigga in Konoha, so we only met once, when I gaev hiem the news."

"Kakashi," The ybos choriused.

"And cHojuro, how aboot youwa?" "Well Mori, at times I think of hiem too, adn whaut kdin of anus-munchesr he muest be to heave atracted Mei, if he codul alove aher abatter thaen me."

"Hmm. Okay well befreo we reveal the test reasults, let's bring hiem out and talk". A stajge hadn hadniend Mori the envelope as the guest music played and the secund giuyes walkedt out. It was of crose, Naruto. The bogys moufths fell open, and a chip tumbled from kibas' lips like the prayer of an Anus lord. "Fuck..." Shiakmaru said., befroe sighing and faceplaming.

"Naortu, a plesure a to meat yoau," OMri greaeteid with hand shakings, baereof Narortu sat down ona sother side of Mei and the ocuch. "I only have a few qwuick wqukestionsh for you, then we'll get to teh part eaveryoneus' waiting for." Naruto noddeid, and glanced down as Mei holdid hies hands. "Now, Nartuo how long haseve you known Mei?"

"Well, it was of just a ewf days before ahte end of the war, and we'ave bene writing to eaoch other since."

"So a shrto time, then. Woould you say your bond is based on psyhical atraction? Mei mentioneda liking for your but-tocks." Naruto bulsht, and stubmeled with hise words. "Well,uh, becaose of teh chalinge I geuss you cooudl say it was what strated our relatshionship, but no, i"de say-" But then Chojuro was of speaking with interuptings!

"Well I'de say it's all of being pshycali atracsthion!" Chojusruo stood, pointinged over at Naruto. "S- Sumetimes Mei calls out your name in bde instead of mine!" Choji choked on hisbitings of chips, and Shikamoaur poundid on his back. "Oh, Wel maybbe theiar'es a reasoun fro that!" Naruto retliated, as of scropinon's b*ll sack. "Maebbye I is osf bettore sexer than you!" Chojuro puled Naruto of hies colluar to hime. "Shut up, You don't knwo me! You don't know me! I've made her moan for hours!"

"A fistul of Ryo says she was faking some of ite!" Sadie Naruto, snapeing back. Then CHojuro was of to colur and eblow wrestle with of Naruto, and the audience shoutid "Fight!' With loud chantings. After a momenit Mei pushed thiem apart, and secruity held them back.

"Okaye, I think its' time. I have the parenity test resoluts righte heare in this onvelope," Mori said, hodlings pus the manilaraper. With slowness, Mori opined it a puled out the sheets of paraper. "Okay... for all the women in the front rows..." for Dramatickings, Mori loked over the results agina. "You doni't have to wrooy. Naurto IS the father of your children. " Kiba screamed with gornings and there was a shote of the women who usedt to be of Naruto's harem. Meny lokked relieved, but some were anoyed and scraed. Theiare was of big chereings rom teh aduiences, and Mori had to qwuiet tmeh. "Mei, Mei!" Mori waved the resultps and she lookde of hiem. "Mei, gentliemen... Chojuro, Naruto..." With more dramatickings, Mori looked over the praterenity test reosults. there was big silence now, and Kiba aand Choji and Shiakmoaru leaaned to edjge of seats. "Naruto... you ARE the father of Mei's child!" The remote dropt from kiba's hand as of the anus of Sasuke, and he slowyl fell ovre. There was big riot and cheerings of the studio, as Chojuro sank to his knsee and Guile's Theme of strateid aplying, with Naruto doing a dacen. "Thatasa'st all the tiem we have fro the Mori show today, make sure to join use tomowrwp. Goodbye!"

The Edn

[theuniverseofhiphop-blog]

9th Wonder - Dream Merchant, Volume 2 (2007)

Released: October 9, 2007

Length : 1:07:23

Label : 6 Hole Records

Producer: 9th Wonder

In Tuesday, October 9th, 2007, Patrick Denard Douthit, better known as 9th Wonder, released his sophomore compilation album, The Dream Merchant, Vol. 2, the sequel to Dream Merchant, Vol. 1 (2005). As the former member of the critically acclaimed North Carolina hip-hop trio, Little Brother, 9th Wonder hasn’t lost his touch on the boards with those smooth, soulful samples, snappy drums and groovy sub-bass lines. The album is entirely produced by 9th Wonder himself. The album has guest appearances by his former group, Little Brother, his fellow Justus League members, Sean Price, Big Dho, L.E.G.A.C.Y., Chaundon, Skyzoo, Keisha Shontelle, Big Treal, The A.L.L.I.E.S., Jozeemo, Tyler Woods, Joe Scudda, Buckshot, Sean Boog, D.O.X., O-Dash, Buddy Klein & Median, also outside performers (including some who 9th worked with) including Torae, Mos Def, Memphis Bleek, Jean Grae, Royce Da 5’9, Vandalyzm, Naledge (½ of Kidz In The Hall), Saigon, Camp Lo, Ness (of Da Band), Strange Fruit Project & Natural Born Spittas. The album is also marks the debut of then-unknown MC, Rapsody.

I. “Mr. Dream Merchant (Intro)”

9th Wonder welcome you all to the sequel of Dream Merchant, with the sample of “Mr. Dream Merchant” by Jerry Butler.

II. “Shots”

Let the game begin, with 9th Wonder flipping a Teddy Pendergrass joint on this ferocious, crazy ass beat. The song starts off with Big Dho (remember, I mention him on the review of The Minstrel Show and Sleepers), who just apparently fucks the song up with his wack ass verse. But, thank god, Sean Price saved the song with his ill ass verse. Then, after this, enter the first Rapsody freestyle interlude.

III. “The Merchant of Dreams”

9th Wonder y’all done did it again with this horn, powerful sample and them snappy drums. The song starts off with Chaundon (now known as Finian St. Omer II, I forgot to tell y’all that on The Minstrel Show) spits that heat with his Bronx style and his distinct voice. Next up, enter the Brooklyn brawler, Skyzoo killing it, then, 9th’s fellow Justus League solider, L.E.G.A.C.Y., kills it and another NY emcee, Torae, kills it. It sounds like a dope ass posse cut, shit, all four of them should’ve form a quartet, cause this track, sounds so badass.

IV. “Brooklyn In My Mind (Crooklyn Dodgers III)”

The lead single off this album. With them snappy ass drums, this crazy ass Curtis Mayfield sample, 9th Wonder got Mos Def, Jean Grae & Memphis Bleek (who happens to be Sean Price’s cousin, SHOCK!!!) on this dope ass beat to do a third part of Crooklyn Dodgers. I like how DJ Premier scratched up them vocal cuts on the joints and you got 9th’s fellow Justus League solider, Darien Brockington, singing in the background. Now, Mos Def and Jean Grae kill their verses, but Bleek, I’m not saying he wack, but he shouldn’t been on this song, 9th should’ve got some like GZA, AZ, Buckshot (who appeared on the original Crooklyn joint) or Sean Price.

Here’s 9th’s story on the song :

I finally got to work with Mos Def. I was at Baseline Studios, and Mos came in one day, and just got in the booth and started rapping. This was around the time we were mixing The Minstrel Show. Jean Grae was actually there, so she did her part. Bleek did his stuff later. I called it ‘Crooklyn Dodgers Vol. 3.’ I actually asked Primo for permission, and he said, ‘Yeah.’ He even did the cuts on it. I just listened to the original and Primo’s version a lot before I went in and made it. I didn’t feel any pressure to top Primo’s version or anything like that. Once I got the ‘okay’ from Preme, I felt like it was good.

V. Sunday!

The second single off this album, 9th Wonder chopped up this Michael Jackson sample on this groovy ass beat, with Keisha Shontelle singing about the beautiful Sunday with her unique, baby voice, it sounds sexy af, and here comes the underrated Chaundon, (who appeared on the third track on this album), with his punchlines and rapping about the fun times about Sunday. Once again, here comes another freestyle interlude by Rapsody.

VI. Baking Soda

9th Wonder got this gangsta, down-south beat with fellow North Carolinian MC, Big Treal (who appeared on Little Brother’s 2006 mixtape, Separate But Equal) rapping with his strong, southern style and them drug dealing bars. To be honest, I love this track right here, too bad, that he never got any recognition.

VII. “Reminisce (Take Time)”

9th Wonder got this jolly, soulful sample beat with them snappy, crunchy drums with The A.L.L.I.E.S., which consists of Big Remo (who was signed to 9th’s Jamla record label) and Novej the Great, rapping about reminiscing their old days in their hood. Once again, after the joint, 9th brings in Rapsody freestyling on another interlude.

VIII. “No Time To Chill”

Awwww shit, it’s Phonte, Big Pooh & 9th Wonder, y’all. With this crazy ass, badass beat produced by 9th, Te & Pooh got at it with them eight bars on two verses. I like that catchy ass hook by Pooh, “Yo, it’s time to live, and a time to die/It’s a time to laugh and it’s a time to cry/It’s a time to break, and it’s a time to build/But no time to waste, no time to chill”. It’s sounds so gangsta. I wish they made a music video for this joint.

IX. “It Ain’t Over”

With this gangsta ass beat by 9th, and singing background vocals by Tyler Woods, Durham, NC representer, Jozeemo, spit that animalistic, beast, savage style on this joint. I like his gutter style, his behemoth bars, I don’t understand why 9th never put him on, I always thought that Jozeemo was going to be a big star.

X. “The Last Time”

9th Wonder got three Midwest MCs in this joint right here. The hook is gangsta, the beat is gangsta, their bars is gangsta. The first verse is by Detroit MC / Slaughterhouse member, Royce Da 5’9″, the second verse is by Chi-town MC / 1/2 of Kidz in the Hall, Naledge and the third verse is by St. Louis producer/MC, Vandalyzm. After the song finish, Rapsody freestyles another interlude.

XI. “Saved”

9th Wonder chopping up the Joe Simon sample, (I think Kanye used the sample before), on this beat and got Saigon and Joe Scudda on this beat. Remember, I told y’all that Saigon was supposed on Little Brother’s “We Got Now”, well, his original verse is on this joint.

XII. “The Milky Lowa”

HOLD THE FUCK UP, Camp Lo spittin’ on a 9th Wonder beat? Yoooo, this is crazy. I’m not surprised that this song would be lit. Shit, it’s Camp Lo, it’s 9th. Besides, 9th got that organ-driven sampled, funky, groovy, gangsta shit. Camp Lo spits their wordplay bars about milk and cereals, which was funny, but still was hard-knockin’. After the song finish, here’s the last Rapsody freestyle interlude.

XIII. “Backlash”

9th Wonder got his partner/Brooklyn legendary MC, Buckshot, and his fellow Justus League solider, Sean Boog, (who happens to one-half of the Away Team, along with producer, Khrysis) on this smooth ass, soulful, chill, laid-back beat. I like how Sean spits his high-energy flow and Buckshot spits his calming, relaxing, yet-hardcore flow on this 9th Wonder track.

XIV. “Thank You”

With this bangin’ ass Broadway-sampled type beat by 9th Wonder, D.O.X. and O-Dash, (who appeared on Big Pooh’s ’05 debut, Sleepers), get together and rapping about thanking the haters, the record labels, the support they be getting in their careers.

XV. “Let It Bang”

With this gangsta, soulful, hardcore beat by 9th, Brooklyn MC, Skyzoo (who appeared on the third song of this album) and Philly MC, E. Ness (from Da Band, from MTV’s Making The Band) going at it on this bangin, hard-knockin joint. The reason why Ness said “2005” on one of his verses, because this joint was on one Skyzoo’s mixtape, The City’s Favorite, which was released in the late 2005.

XVI. “What Makes A Man”

With this James Brown-sampled beat, 9th Wonder got his former Little Brother member/fellow Justus League solider, Big Pooh and Buddy Klein (who appeared on A Man Apart soundtrack) going at it on this beat, right here. This is the perfect closing track on this album. To be honest, vocally, Pooh and Buddy sounds like they could be twins.

Final thoughts: The album is 100% production perfection. I wish 9th put Jay, T.I., Jeezy, Fabolous or Jadakiss on this album and it would’ve been more badass. 9th, GREAT JOB.

Favorite tracks on the album : “Brooklyn In My Mind”, “Baking Soda”, “No Time To Chill” and “Let It Bang” including the Rapsody interlude. Oh yeah, 9th, yo ass should’ve made some music videos to these joints.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 13/11/2021 (ArrDee, Summer Walker’s ‘Still Over It’, Travis Scott)

Recently, it’s been big week after big week – or maybe the weeks are all blending together. Regardless, we have 11 new arrivals so Adele’s “Easy on Me” is #1 for a fourth week and let’s just get this over with. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

We start off as always with the best part of the blog: listing songs. Firstly, we have the notable drop-outs, songs exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after at least five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. Naturally, with a batch of new arrivals and even some returns, we do have more than a handful of new arrivals, some of which are pretty big hitters. First of all, of course all of the Halloween songs are gone – that’s “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell, “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett, “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker, Jr. and “Thriller” by Michael Jackson. Secondly, we have a mixed bag of real drop-outs, though I feel like most had a couple more weeks left in them, including “Let Somebody Go” by Coldplay and Selena Gomez, “Fair Trade” by Drake and Travis Scott, both “2k17” and “Wasted” with ArrDee by Digga D, “If You Really Love Me (How Will I Know)” by David Guetta, MistaJam and John Newman, “2055” by Sleepy Hallow, former #1 “No Time to Die” by Billie Eilish dropping out after its second run, “Need to Know” by Doja Cat, “Talk About” by Rain Radio and DJ Craig Gorman and finally, “Heartbreak Anthem” by Galantis, David Guetta and Little Mix. This might just be ACR allowing for the winter season of chart hits to solidify soon, if that ever happens given Adele and Christmas.

Of course, the natural progression of chart seasons doesn’t stop there, as we do have the notable losses – songs dropping five spots or more from their chart position last week. Many of the cases this week are just songs falling because of nonsense piling up above it. This week, they include “STAY” by The Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber at #21, “Love Tonight” by Shouse at #26, “Moth to a Flame” by Swedish House Mafia and The Weeknd at #27, “Red Light Green Light” by Digga D at #31, “No Comparison” by D-Block Europe at #33 off of the debut, “24/5” by MimI Webb at #37, “Boyz” by Jesy Nelson featuring Nicki Minaj at #38, “OUT OUT” by Joel Corry and Jax Jones featuring Charli XCX and Saweetie at #39 having ACR fill its prophecy, “good 4 u” by Olivia Rodrigo at #43, “Life Goes On” by Oliver Tree at #56, “Way 2 Sexy” by Drake, Future and Young Thug at #57 with “Girls Want Girls” featuring Lil Baby at #64, “I DON’T WANT YOU” by Riton and RAYE at #59, “Bad Day” by Justus Bennetts at #63, “Higher Power” by Coldplay at #65, “Kiss My (Uh Oh)” by Anne-Marie and Little Mix at #66, “MONEY” by LISA at #68 and finally, the older Adele songs losing traction slower than you’d think: “When We Were Young” is at #73 and “Someone Like You” is at #74.

Before we get into our gains, there are four returning entries, starting with “You Right” by Doja Cat and The Weeknd at #75, which probably has something to do with the three-song rule and “Need to Know” dropping out yet interestingly enough, The Weeknd actually has FIVE songs as a lead artist on the chart right now, so make of that chart loophole what you will. We also have the return of two ABBA singles thanks to the release of their hologram era album, Voyage, with “I Still Have Faith in You” at #60 and “Don’t Shut Me Down” at #49 – more on ABBA later. Oh, and of course, since it’s early November, you people let Mariah Carey creep in at #69 with “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Does the UK have any willpower?

Okay, so now we have our infinitely more interesting notable gains, though of course there’s not much to discuss on that front in a week like this. We have “Where Are You Now” by Lost Frequencies and Calum Scott at #54, “Do it to It” by ACRAZE gaining big off of the debut to #36 (hope Cherish are getting a big check thanks to this) and “Seventeen Going Under” by Sam Fender kind of inexplicably finding itself at #22. We also have some gains in the top 20, those being “Drive” by Clean Bandit and Topic featuring Wes Nelson getting a boost to #17 thanks to a drill remix featuring Russ Millions, Chip and French the Kid – honestly I hope this trend of drill remixes to unfitting pop songs continues – and “Coming for You” by SwitchOTR and A1 x J1 at #14, though people don’t seem to like how this one flips its sample, which is to be expected. Now for an 11-round review of A-list nonsense, starting with...

NEW ARRIVALS

#67 – “When You Danced with Me” – ABBA

Produced by ABBA

Okay, “A-list” might have been kind. To be fair, people do care about ABBA – the album is at #1 as to be expected of their comeback – but the audience that buys the album is clearly not streaming the music, as their highest entry is just at #49. I can’t blame them for not doing so either, as everything I’ve heard from the album has been plainly cynical and just straight annoying, this song absolutely included with its cheap synth melody that 80s video games could replicate and make sound better, surrounded by a marching band on laxatives and vocal production that sounds ripped from the 70s... which they could have been knowing this new ABBA “reunion” and their production process. With that said, the girls’ voices sound frailer here, and Mr. Ulvaeus claims that the song was written somewhere between 1984 and 1990, influenced by British fairs that encapsulated the folklore of the island. That’s probably why it charted, though he seems to conflict himself by naming both Nordic countries and then Britain, but getting confused to whether it was Scotland, England or Ireland. That’s pretty fitting since this is an ugly nothing of a song, with that MIDI-sounding finale just being atrocious. Oh, and he also said the song was about “leavers and remainers”, which this innocent Swede seems to not really know the connotations of. ABBA supports Brexit, everyone – spread the word.

#61 – “The Motto” – Tiesto and Ava Max

Produced by Tiesto and LOSTBOY

Okay, yeah, “A-list” was being REALLY generous. Regardless, we have a braggadocious cut from Dutch DJ Tiesto and American singer Ava Max, which obviously references Drake’s “The Motto” but seems to somewhat misunderstand the motto. See, Drake and Lil Wayne, in all their insistence that I already know though, did indeed state that the motto was “YOLO”: You Only Live Once. Ava Max, on the other hand, implies that we already know the motto, but never says that motto, so maybe it’s a different motto? If so, can we assume the verses and pre-chorus are the motto? The chorus starts with “That’s the motto”, so that seems like the safest bet to me. I’m definitely overthinking this, but I’d rather focus on that but this garbage heap of a song, reliant on a fart of a vocal loop, Ava Max’s overbearing attempt to have any swagger like she has anything to flex about except a clumsy hairdresser and especially that anti-climactic house drop that I’m getting really sick of. It’s pretty similar to “The Business” but that’s actually the least of its problems. What bothers me most is how long and unchanging this song feels despite its quick tempo and short runtime, probably because groove is lost on Mr. Tiesto and why rely on a faceless pop singer to mask it, especially if it’s Ava Max? Knowing my luck, this’ll be #1 after Mariah Carey. Just watch.

#48 – “Bitter” – Summer Walker with narration by Cardi B

Produced by Amaire Johnson, Arsenio Archer, Boobie, Sean Garrett and London on da Track

Yeah, that’s how she’s credited on the record – Ciara does some narration at the end of the album too. We’ve got three songs from Summer Walker, which is three more than I expected coming from a #5 album by an R&B singer who has never found that much success outside of the States before. I did still like Still Over It fine enough as although I’ve never been that fond of moody R&B albums, especially those lasting over an hour, I found myself pretty enthralled in some of the smoother joints on the album as well as the pure anger dripping from Summer on nearly every song, particularly on this track, “Bitter”, where she is royally pissed at her ex, producer... London on da Track, who happens to have helped produce this song. Given that Summer has denied this, I wouldn’t be surprised if he or his label pulled some BS and got a credit on the track, but he is present throughout the rest of the album too. Regardless, he did a good job providing a fittingly stodgy vocal sample for his ex to pummel him over, as the instrumental combined with Summer’s beautiful harmonies and dreary, meandering deliveries makes the song sound fittingly bitter, particularly in an almost childlike, condescending way that seems really justified given the rumours supposedly spreading around about their relationship and how she predicts London will treat the women in his life with materialist deceit. When the trap beat first comes in during the first verse, it feels like Summer’s audibly slapping London in the face, it’s just great, and the lead up to the second chorus has just as good a vocal performance from Summer. I don’t really get why Cardi B narrates for a minute straight other than delivering a power move as she doesn’t say anything Summer couldn’t but coming from her, it does make sense that she’s ranting about the gossip that comes with fame and advocating using that drama for economic gain by implementing it into her art. No shade there, it just makes perfect sense coming from Cardi and that’s why it’s a good inclusion. Since I’ve discussed what my thoughts are on the record as a whole here for the most part, expect the reviews on Summer tracks to be shorter from now on, though honestly all of the songs that debuted here from the somewhat inconsistent album are great so I’m glad they’re here, even if it’s just for a week.

#47 – “Between Us” – Little Mix

Produced by Tré Jean-Marie

Given this song’s debut performance, it does feel apt for Little Mix to go the “release a greatest hits album and dip” route, not that it didn’t make sense before considering how the group was forced into splitting by tensions I’m sure were bubbling prior but just escalated after Jesy’s exit and the “Boyz” nonsense. I don’t expect a solo career from any of them, and if it does happen, it’ll be like a less successful version of the messy Spice Girls solo output, but that’s just speculation. For now, we have a cutesy song about closing the curtains and saying goodbye but keeping the memories and still caring deeply about each other, except in this case there’s bad blood so it does feel a bit insincere – maybe I would have saved this for the reunion 10 years down the line. Regardless, the song’s fine, I guess, with an unnecessary and very weak trap beat backing what feels like an AI task to make British pop music, and the artificial intelligence mixed backing vocals as you’d expect it would. I like the strings, and honestly the writing isn’t awful, with the references to older Little Mix songs being again, cute and not much else. It reminds me most of One Direction’s “History” from a couple years back, where a teen pop group basically sabotaging itself panics and makes a song that seems to quell all tension whilst simultaneously missing a core member of the group and therefore kind of misunderstanding why a song like this is special. And now back to good music.

#42 – “Ex for a Reason” – Summer Walker and JT from City Girls

Produced by Buddah Bless, Sean Garrett and Boobie

Now this is more like it: finally, some R&B that’s upbeat. It reminds me of that Ghost Town DJ’s era of Atlanta bass and honestly, there’s not a better era of R&B for a song to remind me of since wistful euphoria over dance beats is something I’ll take any day over Auto-Tuned crooning over trap hi-hats, not that that style of R&B can’t be good as it often is. Regardless, it feels like a breath of fresh air to have some R&B that sounds fun, even if really, the song is still as angry as the rest of the album. It’s about toxic possessiveness, where Summer attempts to... kill her partner’s ex – I hope figuratively – so that he never goes back to her since Summer is that much better. The fact that this narrative is developed through wonderful harmonies and bouncy, static percussion makes the song hit that much harder. JT from American rap duo City Girls is here too, explaining some of the justification behind her actions, as apparently the ex has been calling him, and naturally, the only option is shooting her dead. Hey, if you admit to a murder with Sean Garrett backing vocals and dreamy guitar, I’m pretty sure the police just give up.

#41 – “MAFIA” – Travis Scott

Produced by Jahaan Sweet and Boi-1da

Okay, elephant in the room: is Travis Scott going to suffer popularity-wise as a result of the Astrofest crisis? I say probably not, as now Travis is on BBC News, for the wrong reasons but still, he’s there – if Travis wanted to go beyond hip-hop, the marketing shill promotions and causing nine deaths and hundreds of injuries due to shoddy planning, awful security and dismissal of human life – when these people are supposed to be his fans – might just be his way into pop mega-stardom. With that said, I do have hope that Travis faces some consequence for this other than lawsuits he can settle out of court with checks out of the ass, because it really is a disgraceful, poorly-planned event with disastrous consequences and a worthless apology to boot. It is all oh-so convenient that it happens during the roll-out for what sounds like a double album, that being the Dystopia and Utopia project, as Travis had just released a double A-side single as promotion... and in my opinion, they both suck. “MAFIA” is the B-side and whilst marginally better due to its more slick piano-led trap beat, is still mediocre thanks to Travis’ dead-beat delivery about flexing in which nothing of interest is said if you can decipher it and the producers can’t even master a vibe since they cut off his ad-libs too early in the mix like this is the first song they’ve ever produced before. I’ve got to say, the condescending tones of his flexes, reaching Drake levels of mundane, vague ways to say a whole lot of nothing, as well as the bitter, whiny cadence of the verses takes on a whole other level of “piss off” after the tragedy, but it’d be wrong to factor that in since nobody would know that could have happened. It doesn’t make the lyrics any better, though, and given that there’s no MIKE DEAN-led guitar or synth outro to save the day, the song meanders into a half-finished J. Cole chorus and never really bothers to lift itself back up.

#29 – “SAD GIRLS LUV MONEY” – Amaarae and Moliy

Produced by Yinka Bernie

Okay, so we’re in the top 40 now and I was unreasonably excited for this one just because that is a hyperpop song title if I’ve ever seen one, but a top 40 hit from Helix Tears seems too good to be true as this is an Afrobeats track from Ghanian singer Amaarae with help from Moliy that is pretty sweet for what it is, expressing much like Summer Walker and SZA, a blissful refusal to be in love, though in this case, all they want is money to make them happy, yet it kind of trails off and becomes a generic dance song which is unfortunate as it’s a good concept. The song is generally still pretty good despite that, as both deliver cute yet grippingly sarcastic performances, especially Amaarae’s fast-paced dismissal in the outstanding third verse that was actually pretty funny, especially when delivered over bouncy percussion and the cutesy keys. I was wondering why this was charting before I realised that it is in fact due to a remix instead of TikTok as I presumed, as a remix with the all-too-apt Kali Uchis has given this more traction. It makes all too much sense for Kali Uchis to be on this song, given she’s covered content like this before – see “Just a Stranger” – and she does fit perfectly on this beat given her sensual, bilingual delivery, even if it means that Moliy and Amaarae actually re-adjust their verses to deliver ultimately worse ones as well as getting rid of the insanely catchy post-chorus for the most part. It’s really weird for me to think of Kali Uchis as someone who can remix a song and propel it to the top 40 as someone who’s been following her for a while longer, but it’s a long time coming and I’m glad this song is here. I do see it sticking around as well.

#28 – “Smokin’ out the Window” – Silk Sonic

Produced by D’Mile and Bruno Mars

I haven’t listened to the Silk Sonic album yet but trust me, it’s first on the schedule as it’s just come out on the same day as me writing this. After a messy roll-out, the album is finally out and there’s no doubt I’ll probably end up talking more about it next week, and given that Anderson .Paak can rarely do much wrong, and his chemistry with Bruno is pretty solid, I hope to continue to enjoy their output, though with the caveat that maybe the music sounds a bit TOO perfect, shining up the edges of their retro sound that were charmingly left dusty back in the day. This song seems to exist to prove me wrong as the song is all about a woman giving Bruno and .Paak some stress, and you can tell it’s the first thing they wrote together because it seems like they’re throwing around jokes between each other. Bruno Mars’ verse reads like a zany sitcom, where her kids are running around his house like Chuck E. Cheese and conveniently for the rhyme, her ex happened to be a fighter in the UFC. To be fair to all their complaining, it does seem like the woman is using them more for money than any connection but it also does seem like Silk Sonic are bringing back the 70s in terms of the attitudes to women as well – I can’t morally sing along to a chorus essentially translating to “she belongs to the streets”, even if that is probably the intended satire. It does help that they both have a really lighthearted presence, with .Paak being characteristically horny and referencing The Nutty Professor and of course, it helps that the song sounds smooth as all hell with the sweet keys, intro from the legendary from Bootsy Collins... but it does seem a bit jankier than usual, especially in the drums, breaking the mirage in a way that I don’t think was intended. The eccentric and intricate production tricks are still here, though, especially in the harmonies, the clapping accentuating .Paak’s verse and the genius use of brass and drum fills in the chorus, especially the big finale, though this time a bit anti-climactic. I do feel mixed on the song as a whole, actually, which kind of surprised me, but hopefully it’ll work better within the album. .Paak singing “Not to be dramatic, but I want to die” makes the experience worthwhile at least.

#24 – “No Love” – Summer Walker and SZA

Produced by FORTHENIGHT and Sonni

Of all the cuts from Summer Walker, this final one is closest to the stodgier side of R&B that I don’t really like, but it strays away from that just enough with its heavy bass and really minimal trap beat that it still gets a pass from me. That opening bassline is really nice, and both Summer and SZA deliver really convincing performances that are strictly anti-permissive: love is too complicated so just contact them for sex and drugs. Once again, the harmonies are wonderful – really the highlight of this album – but SZA’s verse has just the right amount of petty sass to work, even if it does have a really awkward meander at the end that doesn’t lead into the chorus at all. I do like the line about how all she’s trying to see is the guy’s credit card, and how she regrets not realising that she had designer-quality genitals. By the last verse, however, it does take a turn, as Summer’s partner no longer shows up and after mistreating her in that he never really wanted to take this relationship further, is calling her back and trying to get her attention. It’s a good narrative, even if SZA confuses it a tad with her verse, and the song’s a pretty great way of telling it. The album as a whole was somewhat of a slog at times due to its length not corresponding all too well with the “vibe”-heavy production, to the point where there were few real stand-out tracks, but other than these three, I’d recommend “Unloyal” and “4th Baby Mama”. If those are your thing, the whole album will be too.

#23 – “ESCAPE PLAN” – Travis Scott

Produced by Nik D and OZ

I’m trying not to discuss the tragedy and focus on the music but with song titles like “ESCAPE PLAN” and lyrics like “dying for the chain around my neck, that’s life alert”, he’s not exactly making it easy for me, and hell, why focus on the music when the song gives me nothing to discuss? He refuses to finish his bars in the second verse, thinks Jamaican is a language in the chorus, and in the first verse, bitches about how whilst he’s not trying to embarrass this woman, he’s also releasing a single in which he complains about her not being grateful enough because she wants plastic surgery. He does say it’s to “fix that attitude”, so it does awfully sound like he’s guilt-tripping his partner for hiring a therapist. I won’t speculate, but when you put it against lines about “draining her WAP” and that she doesn’t need a Birkin, just an “encouragement” over a trap beat with preset keys sounding like the first thing to come up when you search “spooky” in Splice, I have no patience for this. Travis can do better, in his music and for his fans, who have every right to be upset. I’m praying for the families struck by the crowd surge event and its consequences, whether that be their kids dying at the event, retained injuries or the suffocation of Houston police and healthcare services, and that’s all that should matter when it comes to Travis Scott.

#20 – “One Right Now” – Post Malone and The Weeknd

Produced by Andrew Bolooki, Brian Lee and Louis Bell

It seems like a far cry from the respective times where these guys were mostly known to hip-hop heads. Surprisingly enough, this is their first collaboration, and it’s going for a similar narrative as “Smokin’ out the Window”, except much more believably sold by these guys as it is by a retro 70s soul throwback. It does mean it’s less charming and more pissy, but that’s nothing new coming from two men who have made their careers based off of being a drunk, unlucky-in-love slob and evil lover-boy respectively = again, no shade, those are just the characters they tend to play. However, this is not a “The Hills”-type trap dirge and is instead a catchy 80s synthpop tune because pop culture moves like a Reagan-era snail, so it does seem like a bizarre choice to have a peppy synthpop chorus about the oddly specific detail that The Weeknd broke his hand on the same wall that he had sex with his ex on, and that she shouldn’t worry because whilst she might be clinging onto this past relationship, Abel’s already got a girl as well as one on the way right now. To be fair to the producers, it’s hardly a “Blinding Lights” rip-off since it’s slower and more of an industrial feeling track, fitting more for Post Malone’s warbling ramble in which I’m pretty sure he self-prostitutes than it is Abel’s falsetto, which seems out of place to me. Since Post and Abel have no chemistry as vocalists or as lyricists because they’re both retelling the same situation happening to them both with little difference, this seems pointless and that it exists just for the sake of it – a cash-grab if you will, existing for the sole purpose of a cool little synth line in the outro.

#5 – “Flowers (Say My Name)” – ArrDee

Produced by LiTek

Despite songs from Post Malone, The Weeknd, Bruno Mars, Summer Walker and Travis Scott all debuting this week, it seems that not even the biggest stars from stateside can move as many units as humble British driller ArrDee. Okay, maybe humble isn’t the right word given his content, but it is fascinating how out of all songs to debut this week, HIS is the one in the top 10. This new single samples “Flowers” by Sweet Female Attitude, a UK garage classic that hit #2 in the year 2000, being blocked by Craig David. Fun fact: the week that song debuted was a week in which the entire top 5 debuted on the chart that week, with #5 being “The Bad Touch” by the Bloodhound Gang. It was a strange time in pop music, and it’s not one that goes ignored given that “Flowers” has had a resurgence in popularity as of recent. It’s a wonderful song in itself, as an incompetent R&B track by two women who sound like a girl group being flipped into an incessantly infectious UK garage mix is genius, but it has been interpreted to death at this point. It started in 2014 when girl group M.O sampled it in their #49 hit “Dance on My Own”, but really accelerated in 2020 with the release of Nathan Dawe’s house remix featuring Jaykae, which hit #12 in that year. It’s been covered by AJ Tracey, Jorja Smith, Katy B, Bastille and James Arthur, sampled by Krept & Konan and interpolated by PinkPantheress, but it only makes sense for ArrDee to also sample the record as he found out with his bassline-drill experiment “Wasted” with Digga D that actually, adding a bouncy UK garage beat to hardcore rap was a recipe for success. “Flowers (Say My Name)” is in the same lane though instead of gang violence, he uses the song to be a raging misogynist because that seems to be the theme on this episode for whatever reason. I am disappointed that ArrDee raps the chorus as it seems pretty clear that it should be sung in the melody of the original track, which feels especially like a tease when it’s played in chipmunk form under the chorus. In fact, whilst the lyrics are fine given it’s clearly an act, the song is a lot less endearing than “Oliver Twist” given that his delivery is less unique this time around. I like the female backing vocals, though, even if I can’t find for the life of me who actually performed them.

Conclusion

Sheesh, that was long. Okay, so for Best of the Week, I’m tempted to just give Summer Walker everything – the album wasn’t perfect, but it’s far and ahead of everything else here so Best of the Week goes to her and Cardi B for “Bitter”, with an Honourable Mention for Amaarae, Moliy and Kali Uchis on “SAD GIRLS LUV MONEY”. In terms of the worst, it’s really difficult to choose when there’s a lot of disappointment here, but I think “The Motto” by Tiesto and Ava Max is the most pathetic of the tracks – excluding maybe “Flowers” but that’s very much the point there – so I’ll give that Worst of the Week with a Dishonourable Mention being tied between ABBA’s “When You Danced with Me” and either of Travis Scott’s disposable tracks, though I’d say “ESCAPE PLAN” is slightly worse.

For next week, maybe we can expect more Christmas returns, but I’d be quicker to expect more traffic from Taylor Swift’s Red re-recording and Silk Sonic, because if pop music is going anywhere, it’s perpetually going backwards at the same time. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 06/11/2021 (Ed Sheeran, D-Block Europe, Joel Corry/Mabel)

Ed Sheeran’s newest album = (Equals) sold 139,000 units in the UK alone, outperforming the rest of the top 30 albums and becoming his fifth #1 album in his home country. On the Singles Chart, he’s got #2 and #3... but it turns out he’s also got #4, as Adele sold just that extra 3,000 more, meaning “Easy on Me” takes the #1 over “Shivers”. As for any week that Ed Sheeran releases an album, it’s a busy week yet not really because he debuted tons of songs – after all, he can’t. Rather, it’s Halloween and the charts imploded for no good reason at the same time. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start firstly with our notable drop-outs, songs exiting the UK’s top 75 after a peak in the top 40 or spending five weeks within the top 75. This week, they include “Get Into It (Yuh)” by Doja Cat, “Hurricane” by the artist formerly known as Kanye West featuring The Weeknd and Lil Baby, “I GUESS I’M IN LOVE” by Clinton Kane, ironically enough “Visiting Hours”, the best song from = from Ed Sheeran, out thanks to the three-song rule, “Just for me” by PinkPantheress, “traitor” by Olivia Rodrigo, former #1 “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” by Lil Nas X and “Levitating” by Dua Lipa. Yeah, some big-hitters left this week, though I wouldn’t be surprised if half of them come back next week considering I doubt ABBA will have as much impact as Ed Sheeran or Adele or... God, Christmas because that’s coming soon, this year has been insanely fast.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, we have notable losses, songs falling at least five spots from their position last week and we start high with “My Universe” by Coldplay and BTS at #13, and continue down to “Moth to a Flame” by Swedish House Mafia and The Weeknd off of the debut at #22, same with “Red Light Green Light” by Digga D at #24. The losses then include “Boyz” by Jesy Nelson featuring Nicki Minaj at #28 (not fast enough), “Take My Breath” by The Weeknd at #34, “Happier Than Ever” by Billie Eilish getting ACR’d at #36, “good 4 u” by Olivia Rodrigo at #37, “Life Goes On” by Oliver Tree at #42, “Seventeen Going Under” and “Spit of You” by Sam Fender at #43 and #55 respectively, “Black Magic” by JONASU at #44, “Remember” by Becky Hill and David Guetta at #45, “Way 2 Sexy” by Drake, Future and Young Thug at #48, “Higher Power” by Coldplay at #53, “MONEY” by LISA at #54, “Who You Are” by Craig David and MNEK at #57 off of the debut, “Bad Day” by Justus Bennetts at #58, “No Time to Die” by Billie Eilish at #61, “Let Somebody Go” by Coldplay and Selena Gomez at #62, “When We Were Young” and “Someone Like You” by Adele at #63 and #67 respectively, “Save Your Tears” by The Weeknd at #65, “2k17” by Digga D at #66, “Clash” by Dave featuring Stormzy at #69, “Chosen” by Blxst and Tyga featuring Ty Dolla $ign at #70, “Need to Know” by Doja Cat at #71, “Talk About” by Rain Radio and DJ Craig Gorman at #73, “Heartbreak Anthem” by Galantis, David Guetta and Little Mix at #74 and finally, “Wasted” by Digga D and ArrDee at #75. I have never felt so relieved to have stopped listing songs.

Yet we’re not finished because we also have the infinitely more interesting notable gains, although quite little of them this week, as we only have “Where Are You Now” by Lost Frequencies and Calum Scott at #59, “GHOST TOWN” by Benson Boone at #49, “Better Days” by NEIKED, Mae Muller and Polo G at #33, “Tell Me Something Good” by Ewan McVicar at #15, “Meet Me at Our Spot” by THE ANXIETY reaching the top 10 at #10 and finally, “Bad Habits” by Ed Sheeran returning to its semi-rightful spot at #3.

Oh, and of course, it was Spooky Day last Sunday, we do have some vaguely Halloween-related returns to the chart, although none all too high. These include “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell at #47 (the best of them all), “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt Kickers at #41, “Thriller” by Michael Jackson at #40 and “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker, Jr. at #38 (Neil Cicierega’s version is superior). Oh, and I’m not sure how insensitive it is to call “Ghost” by Justin Bieber a Halloween song but it peaked at #38. To be honest, I like all of these songs so that’s a better batting average than Christmas songs... but a much lower sample size. Christmas isn’t here yet though, so after all that nonsense, let’s get to our new arrivals, finally.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “Hiatus” (Freestyle) – M Huncho

Produced by Byrd and Quincy Tellem

Nevermind, I suppose the nonsense will continue as we have the roadman’s answer to MF DOOM, M Huncho announcing his hiatus... except apparently he’s back from that hiatus, which I don’t remember actually happening since he was charting like two months ago or less, but hey, this guy can sometimes be fun. First of all, can someone tell M Huncho that freestyles typically don’t have choruses? Besides that, this is mostly the typical flexing, occasional violence and having sex with countless women delivered in purely uninteresting ways over a boring ambient trap beat. I guess it’s semi-funny that he says that money gives him a semi but D-Block Europe has surpassed that level already, and they’re D-Block Europe. More on that later, but this is just a pointless fragment of a song to me.

#64 – “Double Tap” – Abra Cadabra and Unknown T

Produced by prodbyjackiee, Rash the Producer and Rxckson

Okay, so we’ve got more British hip-hop here, with Abra Cadabra and Unknown T – who I tend to like – trading bars on your typical drill beat, and I guess there’s a pretty heavy intensity to this that’s great to hear, but the flows are pretty standard and whilst I love how much detail there is to the gunplay and gang violence, neither vocal tone is too endearing here. The beat itself is remarkably uninteresting but delivers enough pounding 808s to prove a solid base for bars, and I can’t lie and say I don’t love all the sound effects that really accentuate the energy here. I’d actually argue Abra Cadabra outshines Unknown T here in terms of energy, especially in that wrath-filled hook, and gets in a really intense flow by the end of his second verse, but still, it’s not clicking. Maybe it’s because of a lack of quotable lines to really make the menace stick, but this is good and for once in drill, pretty competently mixed.

#60 – “Do It to It” – ACRAZE featuring Cherish

Produced by ACRAZE

“Do it to It” is originally a crunk&B classic released in 2006, by girl group Cherish and American rapper Sean P of Lil Jon-assisted crunk group YoungBloodZ (NOT the oft-miscredited Sean Paul). It originally peaked at #30 in the UK and #12 in the US, and honestly, it’s pretty fun. ACRAZE is American DJ Charlie Duncker, who from the sounds of it used to make pretty standard EDM trap but is now in the business of house remixes. What’s a house remix of a forgotten 2006 R&B track doing on the chart? Well, it’s probably because of Zedd, whose Squid Game-inspired remix shares the same structure with ACRAZE’s remix, so naturally led more people to checking out this one. I will say I prefer the original but this isn’t awful or as low-effort as it could have been, as he does deconstruct the original song, basically only taking that chorus and making an incessant, kind of dull house track with it. It’s just so minimal that it’s hard to enjoy as a result, as there’s not a massive chorus, good synth drop or really that much of a groove. It reminds me of “Tell Me Something Good” except without as free-form a structure and with much less soulful a sample. This is okay, but I’m not sure if I see it lasting all that long, and if it does, it’ll get old quick.

#56 – “Money Calling” – Da Beatfreakz featuring RAYE, Russ Millions and wewantwraiths

Produced by Da Beatfreakz

Production duo Da Beatfreakz are seeing themselves as sort of a DJ Khaled here as they picked three artists who have charted in the past year and came up with this. RAYE is an English singer who seems to morph into any style she’s given without bringing energy or substance to any of them, Russ Millions is a British rapper whose most-known verse is a chorus, and wewantwraiths is another rapper who charted once with “Know You” earlier this year. At least he’s repping the East Midlands, I suppose – we’ve got to support each other, it’s the most depressing area of Europe this side of Belarus. Given that I’ve always preferred RAYE on hip-hop and I have really liked Beatfreakz production in the past – in fact they collaborated with RAYE on one of my favourite hits of the year, “Ferrari Horses” by D-Block Europe – I did have some expectations for this. Once again, RAYE proves that she works perfectly as a rapper rather than an EDM singer, as the fluidity of her flow adapts perfectly to the rising intense piano, though I think the drill beat could have come in a lot harder. The anthemic nature of the piano is hence kind of drowned out, especially in how slow and almost stagnant the chorus feels, but I do prefer it being an almost subtle flex, immediately juxtaposed by Russ Millions being very energised in his typical nasal flow and... honestly kind of impressing me here. For a posse cut of three seemingly random artists, whilst it is frontloaded with RAYE, its energy is pretty consistent as even wewantwraiths as his more melodic flow leads him to pretty desperately requesting that RAYE shows JAY-Z some of his music. I’m sure she’ll do that if you ask nicely, Mr. Wraiths.

#46 – “Tell it to My Heart” – MEDUZA and Hozier

Produced by MEDUZA

Yes, Hozier, Mr. Worship Like a Dog at the Shrine of Your Lies. Whilst “Take Me to Church” continues to sound incredibly bleak and depressing – I’m honestly shocked it was a hit back then in 2014 – Irish singer-songwriter Hozier’s work has been pretty good since. He technically got one of the biggest country hits of last year by hopping on a remix with Maren Morris, and whilst he’s been quiet recently, his 2018 album Wasteland, Baby! was pretty good, albeit inconsistent, so if anything I’m more confused to see him here. I assumed he would drift off into obscurity and only be seen on r/indieheads forums from now on until he suddenly attracts massive physical sales and tops the Billboard 200 out of nowhere with his next album. Instead, he’s on a song with MEDUZA, meaning this song probably sounds exactly like “Piece of Your Heart”. Okay, well, it’s not identical, but this formula is starting to become almost stomach-churning: in an already oversaturated world of pop-house, MEDUZA refuse to make a song that strays away from a formula so strictly defined by their first hit, it’s almost indescribable. It’s listenable, but do you care? Did they care? Okay, maybe Hozier cares, he’s singing his heart out here, and my one real gripe with the song is how it doesn’t devolve into Hozier straining his voice over a messy synth blend, but alas the drop needs to come back in awkwardly soon after. Hozier deserves better than this.

#23 – “I Wish” – Joel Corry featuring Mabel

Produced by New Levels and Joel Corry

Okay, so we’re in the top 40 now, but that doesn’t mean that we’re slowing down. There are four new arrivals in the top 40 and at least one I know is good. The rest are wildcards but given Mr. Corry’s track record, I have my doubts about this new cut featuring Mabel, a singer so faceless you wouldn’t believe Neneh Cherry birthed her. For what it’s worth, it’s mixed well and sounds relatively listenable for the most part, with no real annoying musical element, but instead, everything’s lacklustre. We get 90s piano, which at this point is 20s piano, Mabel delivering honestly more than she should on the vocals, a cheap drum-heavy build up and an anti-climactic bassy “slap” drop soundtracking vaguely catchy lyrics about a break-up. It even has the “doo-doo-doo” like “Head & Heart” did. If MEDUZA’s repeating themselves, Joel Corry’s pressing copy-paste.

#20 – “Coming for You” – SwitchOTR featuring A1 x J1

Produced by ShoBeatz

“The Nights” by Avicii is a pretty good song from the late Swedish DJ featuring uncredited vocals from Nick Furlong. ShoBeatz probably found it from the FIFA 15 soundtrack, and more than half a decade later, decided to sample it in a drill beat he uploaded to YouTube as a “Kay Flock x Sleepy Hallow type beat”. Why is this relevant? Well, first of all, posting beats to YouTube as free type beats when they have uncleared Avicii samples sounds like facing fate in the face, but secondly, this song from London rapper SwitchOTR uses that beat, therefore the sample combined with a feature from drill duo A1 x J1, who suspiciously had their debut single launch into the top 20 earlier this year with “Latest Trends”, probably got the song to debut nearly as high, even though SwitchOTR has had previous songs but little success with them. I’m not exactly sure how I feel about how obscured Nick Furlong’s chipmunk vocals are on this drill beat, almost like some weird hexD nightcore attempt, but I do love how SwitchOTR flips the melody of the chorus into one of revenge as he mourns the friends he’s lost to gang violence and sees his only resort as paying the killers back in blood. The juxtaposition with the sweet, charming piano should work better than it does – Yungeen Ace and co tried a similar flip on “Who I Smoke” to much better effect – and I think that’s mostly up to the percussion being mixed so harshly and loudly to the point where that snare is really distracting. In his verse, Switch ditches the melody for awkward rhymes about video game collectibles and how since he tried to shoot a guy and his girl could get hit, the bullets are bisexual. I mean, sure? I actually do like A1 and J1’s contributions here, as J1 has a really brief but on-topic verse where he compares his gang camaraderie to Disney sitcoms and A1 sticks to a sweeter, melodic flow that sounds pretty great even when it scrapes off the beat. Honestly, with better production and some refining, this could be great but as is, it’s just inspired without much of the development of these ideas. The weird glitch outro and Switch going off-topic in his first verse are some examples of where this tightly-conceived track kind of goes off the rails. For what it’s worth, I do see this lasting longer than anyone will expect – “Latest Trends” was a grower.

#18 – “No Competition” – D-Block Europe

Produced by ???

We’re really not crediting our producers now, guys? Come on. Anyway, I thought I knew what to expect from D-Block Europe: an awkward trap beat with some unintentionally funny one-liners and ad-libs, but as of recent, I’m just left with some pretty decently constructed British rap with an undertone of paranoia and crippling drug addiction. This single from their upcoming mixtape could be either-or, and turns out they need to credit that poor producer because he is carrying here with that jerky guitar melody flirting with existing before the hard trap knock comes in and flattens everything except Young Adz’s mediocre bars, though “Go take a pill and boost your self-esteem” does show out to me as one of those more... concerning DBE lines. Adz’s ramble about a girl “getting weird” on the stairs is fascinatingly mundane, and his off-beat chorus, mostly in his heavily Auto-Tuned falsetto is pretty reminiscent of back in the day when these guys delivered pathetic and hilarious nonsense. Dirtbike LB does what he does best in sound absolutely depressed in an awkward flow where there’s more silence than there should be whilst saying that he’s so high that he PROMISES he sounds like Wallace and Gromit... What?

#4 – “Overpass Graffiti” – Ed Sheeran

Produced by Fred Again, Johnny McDaid and Ed Sheeran

Thanks to a certain killer of games, I ended up listening to Ed Sheeran’s new mathematical symbol, = (Equals), and I’m ashamed to say I think it’s a pretty drastic improvement over the last two records I heard from good ol’ Ed. It felt cohesive in its content, as Sheeran has matured to discussing his increasingly nostalgic view of life that came with the birth of his child, and for the most part, it really works. The production sounds a bit more sincere and tries a greater variety of new things than his previous efforts, whilst still sounding explicitly Sheeran, and his delivery is pretty unique, either sounding aggressively strained or frail and feeble, covered in choirs of vocoder, hinting at some of the intimacy yet increased stress that settling into his role will bring after the highs have been met. This Ed Sheeran sounds exhausted, and I think that would be better demonstrated if he took out some of the filler dance-pop cuts and replaced them with “Afterglow” but otherwise, it’s a surprisingly consistent record. This new single that’s being pushed is one of my favourites from it, with a driving 80s drum machine that sounds like it’s a couple years older than it should be yet is covered in all these clouds of synth that you don’t notice its beeping obsoleteness. That fits with the content too, as Ed sings about a breakup that occurred a long time ago yet is still fresh on the mind, a love never lost on him like “graffiti on the overpass”. It’s a unique metaphor in the way that just like graffiti becomes symbolic of the region or building it claims, that relationship informs his present relationship. I also really love the inclusion of “for what it’s worth”, one of the many examples on the album where Ed gets a bit more colloquial and fed-up of the whole tedious affair that are the highs and lows of life. There’s a delicacy to it, because he never wanted the relationship to end badly, but the post-chorus is a gratuitous vocal shriek and the second verse starts with a blunt profanity not common with Mr. Bad Habits. At this point, I’m not sure if this is a song review or literary analysis but I like how Ed Sheeran writes, God damn it, and this is a pretty excellent, stand-out example. Perhaps it runs a bit long, as that bridge – whilst it exemplifies the cool vocoder obfuscating approach to vocal production of the album – doesn’t exactly build up to a climactic final chorus. Otherwise, this is great and I can’t believe that for the third time this year...

Conclusion

...Ed Sheeran gets Best of the Week for “Overpass Graffiti”, with an Honourable Mention for Da Beatfreakz’s “Money Calling” featuring RAYE, Russ Millions and wewantwraiths. It’s pretty odd that for such a busy week, I had very little to actually say about these new arrivals, mostly because much of them are ones I couldn’t make that conclusive a judgement on. I suppose that Worst of the Week goes to ACRAZE for butchering Cherish in “Do it to It” but I’m not mad about it exactly and neither am I about the Dishonourable Mention, the “Hiatus” freestyle by M Huncho.

For next week, maybe we can expect ABBA? I hope to God not, because if the album is anything like the singles, it’ll be a depressing listen. Thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 25/09/2021 (Lil Nas X, Taylor Swift, Bring Me the Horizon)

It’s slower of a week today – at least on the surface – so there’s not much to say other than “Shivers” by Ed Sheeran is at #1 for a second week, though it’s not as stable as it could be thanks to Elton John of all people, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Side note: That logo was made by TheJasbre202, I don’t claim to be any good at graphic design. Now as always, we start with the notable drop-outs, songs exiting the UK’s top 75 – which I cover – after five or more weeks on the chart or a peak in the top 40. This week, we don’t have that hefty of a list, and longstanding songs mostly stuck to the chart this week. We do have a handful, however, including “I Still Have Faith in You” by ABBA after only two weeks, “Jail” by Kanye West featuring Dem Jointz and JAY-Z or DaBaby and Marilyn Manson, “Psycho” by Maisie Peters, “Pain” by PinkPantheress and finally, “Let Them Know” by Mabel. It’s mostly good songs leaving which is a shame but we do have seven new songs this week to make up for it.

We’ll discuss those later, however, as we do have some notable fallers this week, songs losing at least five chart positions and typically that means losing streaming and sales. Not always, though – I’ve explained ACR half-haphazardly before and this episode is not the time for it – but that’d be pedantic. Getting into these drop-outs, we have continued losses for Drake – “Fair Trade” with Travis Scott is at #12 and “Way 2 Sexy” with Future and Young Thug is at #15 off of the debut – as well as “2k17” by Digga D at #33, “24/5” by Mimi Webb at #34 both off of the debut, “I GUESS I’M IN LOVE” by Clinton Kane at #37, “Talk About” by Rain Radio and DJ Craig Gorman getting ACR’d to #42, “Heartbreak Anthem” by Galantis, David Guetta and Little Mix at #44, “Need to Know” by Doja Cat at #46, “Don’t Shut Me Down” by ABBA at #47, “Just for me” by PinkPantheress at #52, “Fly Away” by Tones and I at #53, “Rumors” by Lizzo featuring Cardi B at #56, “Essence” by Wizkid featuring Tems at #59, “Holiday” by KSI at #63, “Seventeen Going Under” by Sam Fender at #65, “I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE” by Maneskin at #67, “By Your Side” by Calvin Harris and Tom Grennan at #68, “Love (Sweet Love)” by Little Mix at #70, “In the Fire” by Dave at #75 and to book-end this section, continued losses for Kanye West – “Hurricane” is at #28 and “Off the Grid” is at #69.

What’s always infinitely more interesting are our gains and returning entries. Of course “Mr. Brightside” is back, but we also have “Like I Can” by Sam Smith returning to #74 off the back of a TikTok trend. In terms of notable gains, we have “Tell Me Something Good” by Ewan McVicar at #57 off of the debut – honestly a shock to me – as well as “Bad Day” by Justus Bennetts at #38, “Better Days” by Dermot Kennedy at #35, “If You Really Love Me (How Will I Know)” by David Guetta, MistaJam and John Newman at #31, “Meet Me at Our Spot” by THE ANXIETY at #29, “love nwantiti (ah ah ah)” by CKay featuring everyone around the globe on the remixes impressively at #9 off of the debut and finally, two big boosts for Lil Nas X off the strength of his debut album, MONTERO. “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” is at #16 and “INDUSTRY BABY” featuring Jack Harlow is all the way up to #3. His sole new entry – thanks to the 3-song rule – is also in the top 10 but I’ll put a pin in that for now as we start discussing our...

NEW ARRIVALS

#66 – “Provisional Licence” – M1llionz featuring AJ Tracey

Produced by The Fanatix

Sometimes before writing these episodes, I’ll listen to these songs with a friend on a voice chat, to form an initial opinion on the song and to get differing perspectives. The minute I heard this, I immediately described it as “UK drill over iPhone default ringtones”, and that really is what the song is – but that is far from a bad thing as this is actually pretty good, surprisingly so. For the record, my friend was more fascinated with the fact M1llionz shoves in a “Dickhead” ad-lib. Whilst this is funny, I also like the song overall – it’s the only song from M1llionz’s latest album to have debuted this week (we’ll see that trend continue later) and it gives a pretty good first impression. The MIDI-sounding acoustic guitars and airy beat sound really unique when drowned under flubbering 808s, and M1llionz sounds fittingly half-confident and half-uncertain. The hook about not following his mother’s motivational advice as a child and instead following into a life of violent crime is pretty potent and whilst not a lot of the two verses actually expand on this concept, the content overall is inoffensive and AJ Tracey’s charisma is as intact as ever in his guest verse, delivered as swiftly as possible. I don’t really see the point in the skit being on the Spotify version, but that probably makes a lot more sense in the context of the entire release. Generally, this is pretty good stuff and honestly a unique take on drill beat-wise. I’d like to hear more like this.

#58 – “Life Goes On” – Oliver Tree

Produced by Oliver Tree and Getter

So, Oliver Tree is a fictional character that has been picked up by the Spotify algorithm in the late 2010s. This is just how music works nowadays, I guess, but regardless, he’s been making pretty clearly self-aware obnoxious indie pop for a while and has been bubbling under as a result due to his viral fame. I do like “Alien Boy”, “Hurt” and “Miracle Man” but I’ve struggled to really resonate with anything but sparse singles and... well, it’s not hard to see why. “Life Goes On”, a song released in May, has just gained traction now and I’ll try to be fair but really I cannot stand this at all. It starts off seeming like a break-up song in which Oliver Tree proclaims that life will go on without their ex-partner, giving just enough detail to make the vitriol somewhat justified... yet the bridge makes it increasingly obvious that this is about Tree’s frustrations with the music industry and about working tirelessly only to gain not much in return. This would be a good idea if it made any sense – Tree’s life cannot go on without music. He’s a musician, and if this chorus was him trying to reassure himself that it’ll be fine with no success in music, it would work but the verses simply back up the break-up angle. Okay, maybe it’s about that despite everything going on in his personal life and music career, he perseveres because life goes on... okay, first of all, why am I supposed to care about Oliver Tree considering his entire character is equivalent to that episode of Adventure Time where the douchebag grass monster becomes an intellectual thanks to music but ends up showing his true colours when most easily provoked with no consequences? Second of all, there’s nothing motivational about “Life Goes On”. The squawking synths run through nearly the entire track and when they’re not there, they’re replaced with a squawking man over manufactured keys and a childlike, irritating chorus. By the bridge, we’re treated to clipping in the mix and na-na-na’s and I may just want to off myself, proving that in fact, life can come to a crashing halt – particularly when listening to this garbage. I understand the appeal but God, is it not for me.

#55 – “Talamanca” – BURNS

Produced by BURNS

Once again, the mind boggles with the amount of bizarrely inaccessible EDM that also charts alongside the pop-leaning stuff. Last week, we had Ewan McVicar, and here we have BURNS, yet another Scottish DJ with a pretty great take on house. “Talamanca” is a progressive house track from June with stunning cover art and is wholly instrumental bar from some wordless mesmerising vocals. The track immediately starts with what sounds like a disco groove boiled down to its basic essentials, and the percussion becomes indecipherable by the time we get the build-up, suffocating any rhythm under white noise and these massive synth-strings that just lay over the track like in great future bass drops. Whilst that first drop feels underwhelming, it’s just there to allow for the cloudy production to develop further into an eerie yet strangely reassuring blend of synths that quickly devolve back into those grandiose chords, as if nothing ever happened. This takes you for a boat ride yet still places you back onto shore by the time you need to dance, and that’s what all great EDM does – that second drop is Godly with the added synths and just when you think it could build up again, and that drop will get tiring, it fades out with a twinkle. Again, like nothing ever happened. If I could describe this in one way, it’d be mythical – it’s anthemic and explosive but keeps itself within boundaries until it knows the right time to release pressure – the build-up sounds exasperated. This is just awesome and I’m glad it charted. Hopefully it can stick around, at least for a few weeks?

#50 – “Who’s True” – Tion Wayne featuring JAE5 and Davido

Produced by JAE5

Tion Wayne released his debut album, Green with Envy, last week and it was pretty consistent, almost surprisingly so. The heavy drill tracks hit hard for the most part and Tion showed some more versatility in how smooth and intricate some of the more R&B-leaning tracks are. Thanks to this having a music video, we get “Who’s True” charting, one of the more Afroswing-esque cuts and honestly not one of my favourites – I’d have preferred chart placements for “Loyal” with NSG, “Road to Riches” or ESPECIALLY “Homecoming” – this is still alright. JAE5’s production is pretty distinct, and the piano that starts off the track is really sweet but I do lose interest when it abruptly cuts off for a bassy trap-like knock, and Davido’s chorus is pretty nasal and grating, probably purely due to its length. Tion Wayne doesn’t deliver his best verses but does keep consistent with his buttery voice discussing his rags-to-riches story in enough detail to be quietly compelling. Once that piano hits back into JAE5’s beat with the addition of the horns and that vintage-sounding talk box, it gets really solid and works purely as “vibe music”, but trust me, the album surpasses that with ease for most of its runtime. This is good, but there’s better on the record and I absolutely recommend it if you’re into British rap.

#41 – “DiE4u” – Bring Me the Horizon

Produced by BloodPop and Evil Twin

Stylisation of song titles has gone too far. That aside, this is actually a pretty good lead single from whatever Bring Me the Horizon’s next release will be. I was saying on the voice chat where we listened to the songs that I never know what to expect from Bring Me the Horizon yet somehow “DiE4u” is pretty much exactly what I was expecting. Frontman Oli Sykes is calling this “future emo” yet thematically, I don’t really see much bringing this into the future – my main problem with this, really, is lyrically, as that chorus is insanely basic and the verses feel like they could be from any Bring Me the Horizon song. Whilst this is disappointing as I think their last record was fantastic and had some of their best songwriting ever, I understand the need for a pop hit and it does a pretty damn good job of being one, starting with a sprawl of electronics and vocal loops before Sykes comes in sounding like a low-fidelity Justin Bieber. All you need to know is that afterwards, it becomes easycore with future bass layered on top. That’s pretty much it, really, and it helps that I’m into this garbage because that drop still hits like a brick into the heavy chorus. The lyrics seem like a cry for help to someone who could either be an ex or a holy deity, but ultimately becomes so vague in its poetic bluntness, letting the metallic drums rising alongside the chiptune sound design do much of the work. The guitar solo is pretty short and uninteresting, awkwardly transitioning into the chorus when really, it could just not be there. Not every rock song needs a guitar solo – especially when it’s half-EDM – but overall, this is solid, just lacking in pretty much every department. Maybe this isn’t solid after all and I’ve just listened to enough emo-pop to convince myself this is good. Help me.

#25 – “Wildest Dreams” (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Christopher Rowe, Taylor Swift and Shellback

“Wildest Dreams” is one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs. The dreamy ambiance of the synths combined with its pulsing, desperate energy creates one of Taylor’s most cathartic and engaging sonic experiences ever. It’s one of my favourite vocal performances from Taylor and absolutely the highlight on a generally inconsistent album. I adore the song and it’s probably one of my favourite pop tracks of the 2010s if not ever. How’s Taylor’s version? Turns out exactly the same. Okay, it’s not EXACTLY the same obviously – she’s re-recorded the vocals and personally I prefer the original yet I would like to emphasise it’s good regardless, and the new multi-tracking sounds better. The mix is technically better in some aspects but I do think the synth bass is too overwhelming when it first comes in during that first chorus. The new percussion also feels oddly too airy – it’s a heavenly song but feels like it’s being simultaneously being dragged down and ascended in the original; this just feels like staying in place on the house from Up. This is an okay rendition of a fantastic song so don’t get me wrong, it’s still incredible but not as immaculate – I do feel kind of silly for saying this, but putting the juvenile nature of this opinion, it’s just not the same for me. You know the old Chinese proverb: if it ain’t broke, don’t (Taylor’s Version) it.

#10 – “THAT’S WHAT I WANT” – Lil Nas X

Produced by Ryan Tedder, KBeaZy, Blake Slatkin and Omar Fedi

Much like Tion Wayne, Lil Nas X missed out on the #1 to (alleged) Certified Lover of Children, Mr. Aubrey Graham, and he debuts one good-but-not-great song on the chart thanks to the release of the music video accompanying it. In terms of MONTERO, I far prefer “SUN GOES DOWN” and when it comes to the album cuts, “LOST IN THE CITADEL” and “LIFE AFTER SALEM” are right there, but because the biggest male pop star in the United States wants to show off a grammatical error – I added the apostrophe – we get this as a single and despite me considering this generally an okay song... it’s really just a OneRepublic track through and through. It’s almost like Ryan Tedder wrote this song, switched the pronouns and got Lil Nas to add swears. That’s probably ultimately a good thing, as an unabashedly gay song being this accessible is important – especially for radio – but I think I actually would have preferred Ryan Tedder on this. Lil Nas sounds really strained in a chorus clearly trying to be anthemic and I do like the more rap cadences in the verses, with the strumming acoustics perfectly lining up to a climactic chorus section, especially with Tedder in the background, but the forefront seems like an afterthought here. It’s a good, plain pop rock song, but it could have been more. Hell, can the Bring Me the Horizon guy add a guitar solo to this?

Conclusion

This is overall a pretty positive week as I expected, with Best of the Week going to “Talamanca” by BURNS with an Honourable Mention towards Taylor Swift’s re-recorded “Wildest Dreams”. It should be plainly obvious that Oliver Tree runs away with Worst of the Week but I may as well tie the Honourable Mention instead of an insincere Dishonourable Mention, so I guess anything could go here? Honestly, I’ll tie it with M1llionz and AJ Tracey for a really good track in “Provisional Licence” – I am dying to hear a more refined version of this song.

I don’t think we can expect YoungBoy Never Broke Again to debut anything so it’s mostly another case of a filler week next week except if I’m missing something like a certain collaboration by a British pop rock band alongside K-pop superstars that may or may not have a sales total higher than gas prices – that joke’ll age well. For now, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week!