#let him stay stuck
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Eidolon is honestly one of my favorite incredibly tragic tertiary characters in worm. Clearly raised his whole life getting the message that your life only has any value whatsoever if you're useful (and that he equally clearly did not meet the bar), to the point that when Cauldron found him he was about to kill himself after getting rejected by the army.
And then absolutely never outgrew that bone-deep belief, just now he has enough power to be useful - the most useful, even! And the idea of that slipping away as the booster shots grow less effective is driving him to the brink even before he learns just how far his power had gone to make him essential.
#the one conversation during the S9000 arc where he's basically begging taylor to let him help#and she says that given his power 'helping' means staying tf away from Jack in case he's the apocalypse catalyst#and has to threaten to kill him before he listens#has really stuck with me#worm#parahumans#musing
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Just throw rocks at him and watch him get 'unstuck' from the tree. And if it doesn't work, hopefully a laser would be on it's way to help.
-Yalina
Help! My cat’s stuck in a tree!
-Kuina
#let him stay stuck#it's more fun that way#yalina roleplay#kuinaoflight#oc character#oc rp#alice in boderland#aib
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it's kinda fascinating to me how welt has been "at the end of his life" for like. several decades by now. he goes on and on about how old and weary he is and how "his job is done" and his story is over but- oh wait i just realized i can phrase this in a very funny way- he's kind of sorta immortal now because he got the herrscher core back, so he's really just stuck in the epilogue for all eternity
#kdj will never leave my brain. clearly#hsr#or uh#hi3#???#idk?#ill just tag the guy himself#welt yang#like his story could have ended several times#with his self sacrifice during the second eruption or his self sacrifice in the sea of quanta or his self sacrifice in apho#man welt get your shit together#or with him teaching bronya to be his successor and her surpassing him#but none of these character arcs were about him. they were moreso about the effect he had on other characters. while he stays the same#and it makes sense because when does the guy ever think abt himself lol#but all of these endings would have been tragic in a way#so maybe this epilogue he's stuck in. the. the space train he's stuck in.#HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA#i ought to tag orv at this point#maybe that epilogue (hsr) is what he needs. because we can tell that things are different for him#and that he's gradually talking about going home less and less#but all the tragedy of his self sacrifices happened bc even while crushed by grief none of his friends/family saw another way out#and he had to take responsibility again. but if this happens in hsr - with him going back to self sacrifice without question#do you think the astral express crew will let him? or are they gonna try to find another way? without letting him do it all on his own?#um. this is very long#hsr meta#i guess
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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i wish we could do this instead of killing him 😇
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+bonus shot that looks nice but didn't fit so well when put in sequence with the others
#raphael bg3#raphael#bg3#baldur's gate 3#cw blood#obviously if we could spare him after the fight he would NOT let that slide and he'd probably try to kill us again but yknow. it's fine#the 😇 in the caption was a misclick but i think it's funny so it stays#anyway mods r a slippery slope they give me SO much power... the power to put him in Situations#but man i gotta say taking pics with his cambion model is a time and a half because it's kind of fucked LMAO#the wings clip like nobody's business and they aren't stuck to his back properly so there's gaps#the hair mesh must have some issues bc there's spots around his ears that i have to strategically hide or blur or edit#plus his skin is so bright/vibrant that it requires some finagling to make sure it doesn't look overly garish or washed out#worth it tho he's so pretty in this form#charm point: his teef :)#my screenshots#mine
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Dawn
I am back because i got home from work and I got no chill! :D @spotaus
First one Prev drabble Next one
Okay. So why this one? Because i realised it was a while since i wrote a drabble from Horror's point of view and that is criminal and it is a great excuse for me to showcase some stuff from the quiet and very observing sockets of Horror! (also gives me an excuse to not think about the drabble order i got now and that thought i messed it up a bit which I need to think of a solution for)
Ready? Let's go!
*------------------------*
Horror makes sure to carefully close the door to the greenhouse. It is still early but he is used to those.
He enjoys the cool fresh air as he walks towards the house, small basket filled with fresh monster food. Horror is happy he got permission from Crop to harvest the plants in there for their meals.
He quietly opens the door and listens for a moment. He saw Cross leave the farm a little while ago to do his own morning workouts and by the sounds of it the other three are still asleep.
Which is good because he needs his own sleep. Horror knows very well that Dust is the one to wake up with Nightmare if something bothers him in his sleep.
He found the two of them awake and reading a book one too many times for Horror to believe they just had an allnighter.
Horror likes being up early. Maybe strange for him but he got used to it in his old universe. The best time to check his traps and search for food had been in the very early morning, or very late night depending on how you look at it, as most people would be asleep.
It is a leftover habit and he just kept going with it when he joined Nightmare's gang.
He puts the food away in all the right places and goes about getting the ingredients for todays breakfast. He notices the fresh milk and eggs and the choice is obvious. Some pancakes would be great.
He starts preparing the ingredients as he takes the time to measure it all. The milk makes him chuckle.
Watching Cross realises there was a cow had been funny. Finding Cross in a tree shaking with a cow under it had been hilarious. Crop ahd been apologetic as he explained that his cow, Betty (Killer had mutters "of course it is claled betty") was aparently mischievious.
Horror had his doubts but Cross swore that the cow would know when he left the farmhouse. That the cow would stand at the edge of her field and stare at him.
Cross did not go to the east side of the farm anymore. aparently that was Betty's territory in his mind.
Nightmare liked petting Betty however so you have your ups and downs.
Horror mixes the ingredients slowly but surely. Thinking about Nightmare, "Shouldn't you still be in bed?"
silence before a soft mutter "Not tired anymore."
Horror chuckles as he shoots Nightmare a look. He looks fully awake and adorable in his new wool sweater. Horror grins "God powers?"
Nightmare shrugs "I mean probably. I never needed sleep before. that is still new." They hadn't really noticed anything that could be connected to Nightmare's godhood at the moment. Maybe it had gone domant, at least that was Cross's guess. Dust just thinks Nightmare's magic is now focussed on healing instead of weird god shenenigans.
Speaking of healing! Horror gives him a stern look "bandages?"
Nightmare rolls his eye lights but mutters his answer "All still in place and good. Killer replaced them after the bath last night,"
Horror nods. With that secured he relaxes abit "Want to help?"
Nightmare is already by his side and stands on his tiptoes. Horror chuckles as he gives him a look "Need a chair?" he would offer a stepstool but the chair is more stable for him.
Nightmare looks at the counter annoyed before nodding his agreement. Horror grabs a chair and puts it near the counter. Nightmare climbs it easily.
Horror really wants to pick him up but they do have the rule that inside Nightmare should walk around himself to carefully train his spine. It is still much to early to already start carrying him. Horror knows that if any of them start they won't stop.
Nightmare reaches for the ingredients, some fruits for inside the pancakes, before pausing and staring at his sweater.
Nightmare has been very careful with his new gifted clothes. Horror himself is also very careful with the set of clothes Dust got him.
Horror frowns at the food he is making. He really hopes he can quickly find soemthing to do here to earn money. At the moment only Dust has something and it is starting to show, even Killer seems to be getting annoyed with himself over it.
Until now Horror and Cross helped around on Crop's farm. Which he was happy to do as it only seemed fair as a way to repay Crop for letting them stay. Horror has also been learning the basics about farming, farmland and farmwork from Crop. It is still a lot and not everything sticks in his skull, probably falling out of that hole. But he is getting better at it. He hopes with this Crop can maybe get the news out that both of them are more than willing to help around with heavy duty work and get a bit of cash flow.
Killer... Killer has a very specific set of skills. Sadly not specifically useful on a farm. Even if he is great with the animals and can herd pretty much anything, which is very useful but well. Most people won't let you near their animals unless they trust you and Killer is Killer.
Horror just feels bad that Dust is pretty much still Ngihtmare's main caretaker, got the rough end with the backstory they settled on, and has to deal with work to get cash. Only to spend all of it on them all.
Horror can see it is starting to wear him down. He just hopes they can figure out how to balance everything better.
It is another reason he loves these mornings. Because morning time means Dust, and Killer, both sleep in and Horror gets time to supervise their babybones. Horror adores the time wiht Nightmare. Especially when alone because then others don't watch them nervously the whole time.
It is exhausting to be seen as something dangerous even if he knows it is true. It is why they mean so much to him, they never treated him like that. None of them did.
A glance confirms that Nightmare has carefuly rolled up the sleeves and is taking extra care with cutting the fruits, using one of the duller knives which won't be able to cut bone. Horror turns back to getting everything else ready. He has to concentrate to push his intent into the food. He wants them to enjoy and like it. Feel the things he can't say to them.
Horror knows what he wants and feels but also knows none of them are ready to hear it. Horror has known that from the moment he realised what he felt was. The curse of being the only emotional stable one.
He still remembers all the way back near the start of them meeting and chuckles to himself. they did not get along at all.
Nightmare immediantly looks up "What is funny?" he looks adorably confused.
Horror thinks for a moment "Remember when you brought me in?"
Nightmare blinks before giving a slow nod "Yeah... I had hoped you would calm Killer and Dust."
Horror chuckles "Can't believe you thought i could do that."
Ngihtmare shrugs as he finishes up his task and just sits normally on the chair "I mean... It worked." his hands find the glass of juise Horror got him.
Horror pauses for a moment before nodding. Nightmare is kinda right with that one. It hadn't worked right away but he made it work. Mostly because he had had a lot of motivation.
Nightmare, still a fully active god at that point, had offered him that he would slowly but surely fix the food problem in his universe in trade for his service, something about it being too severe for him to be able to instantly fix but if Horror worked for him he would work on it. Horror had figured Nightmare had known about his little weird immortality situation with his own universe's core and accepted.
Turns out he just wanted him to fix whatever had been going on with Killer and Dust. Because they would fight. Constantly. And those two got very close to killing each other a few times.
Horror had eventually managed to somehow form a connection and bond with Killer. It had been rather easy and Horror was able to become friends with him over coworkers. Eventually find him not just annoying but funny. And later think fondly of his antics.
Dust took longer. Which had been a combination of Dust just being an introvert and not looking for connections or at least not in the way that made that clear to Horror. And well Horror heard bits and pieces of what Dust had done and had honestly been disgusted with the idea that Dust just murdered his whole universe and his own brother. Just to fight one human? Just to end a timeloop?
It was well after he managed to get them to stop, or at least contain the damage of, their fighting. Well after he started working for Nightmare more permanently that Horror realised how the multiverse worked.
And how fucking unfair it was.
Because aparently? stupid fate or some shit? That decided how your universe worked. His would always have ended up with a famine and starvation. Killer would always lose control and be controlled, abused and used by the human. Cross would always be the end of his universe. Dust... Dust would always have to kill his universe. No matter what he tried or solution he tried.
It wasn't until later Horror learned that Dust had tried everything. Multiple times. That Dust had learned to play multiple musical instruments in the time of resets. That he had learned to cook, and tinker. He master chemistry. Everything in the hopes it could give him a solution.
But the fates had already decided his ending, much like for all of them there was only one ending possible for them. And in the end locked him in a dead AU make by his own hands when no other options was left. Just like all of them had been.
Horror has to admit it took him a long time to get Dust to admit those things to him. Msotly because Horror had been standoffish before and that he accidentally gave Killer advice to treat Dust like one of the many stray cats he interact with.
He hadn't specifically said that. horror had just told Killer that maybe Dust would like Killer more, or at all, if Killer learned to respect his boundaries. Horror had mentioned how Killer could learn each cat's limits so why not Dust?
Worst part was that it actually worked.
Horror rubs his face "I give him cat advice." his voice sounds pained. Dust had been so mad at them both.
Nightmare nods "I remember. Dust left for three weeks." he snorts "which really is very catlike..." more thoughtful "And then you two got mad at me for not telling you where he went." He blinks and shrugs as he drinks from his orange juice.
Horror ignores the cat comment as he looks at Nightmare "Why didn't you tell us?" Dust had actually been recruited to help Nightmare with the balance. Something Horror only started to do after helping Killer and Dust be less homicidal.
Nightmare blinks at him wiht those wide sockets "I didn't want to force any of you... If you wanted to leave..." he speaks softer and softer "I wasn't going to stop you if you wanted to leave... if you didn't want to stay..."
Horror frowns and picks Nightmare up. He embraces him and hums "I am sorry we left..."
Nightmare shrugs as he pushes clsoer to him "You came back..."
hah... yeah they did. Much like Dust did all that time ago. He was gone for a few weeks before returning after killing Ink bringing back one of his fucking sketchbooks as proof. Obviously killing Ink does little in the long run but it was quite the powermove. Dust had glared at them daring to say anything. Killer of course had muttered something about Dust bringing back a kill much like a cat.
Horror is still not sure how he managed to stop Dust from Killing Killer that day.
Horror puts Nightmare at the table and gets a small yogurt and fruit snack ready for him. Just so he can eat a tiny bit. See how his magic will handle food today. Nightmare starts eating it when offered and that is a good sign. Means his magic is actually sending out the signal that it needs food today.
Horror goes back to flipping pancakes. Horror tries to stay in the here and now but his injury makes his mind likely to wander. and with already having been thinking about them.
He still remembers one of the early missions, after Horror learned about fates cruel games. Dust had still acted the same but Horror had tried to be more friendly. He had been close to giving up on it as clearly it wasn't working as Dust was still standoffish. Only for Dust to pull him out of the way of an attack from Ink, getting hit instead.
Later Horror had demanded why he did that and Dust had just shrugged. He hadn't had an answer for him. It confused Horror to no end. Horror was immortal because of that fact that his magic had been used in the core and bonded to that. Meaning as long as the core in his universe was fine he would return to life.
The gang had known this and Horror knew that Dust knew this. And yet. Dust had heard all of that and looked at the large monster Horror had become saw soemthing worth protecting. Something that needed protection.
Horror thinks he fell a little bit in love that day.
Much like how one day Horror just realised he couldn't stand the idea of not being near Killer or never seeing him again. That even if Killer could be annoying that he didn't wish him any pain or harm.
How it warmed his soul that Killer, and Cross later, would hide behidn him. Seeing him as someone safe that would protect them. See him as someone trustworthy.
Cross, so eager to please and desperate for affection and affirmation. but once he relaxed so smart and funny. Loyal and always ready to help...
But now is not the time to try and see what any of them thought or felt. They are dealing wiht a lot at the moment and they need to concentrate with trying to make staying here work.
The front door opens and Cross walks in quietly. He sneaks a glance at them and smiles when Horror catching him looking. Cross waves to Nightmare "Hey guys. All good?"
Horror nods "Nightmare helped." he flips another pancake as Nightmare drinks his juice with a smug little smile.
Cross grins "Good to hear. I will quickly get cleaned up and help. Dust and Killer?"
Nightmare hums "Still asleep." and he sips his juice again.
Cross nods "Good to know. be back in a bit" and he goes towards the bathroom. The pipes groan softly as Cross no doubt turns on the shower.
Horror finishes the last pancake and gets to wrok on getting the drinks and coffee ready.
Another day for them to figure out how this will work. Horror is just happy they are all here, everything else can wait as long as they stick together.
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#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#cross sans#Horror Sans#We are back with a Horror POV#you guys I love Horror's pov. He is just such a nice and emotionally stable guy#I can actually just have him admit feelings and thoughts and let him make conclusions without a lot of selfdoubt!#It is so nice?!#this is a drabble that if it were a full story i would be stuck on#mostly because there are so many more things i wanted to add and expand on but just didn'have the room or time to do quickly#I write these in one go which is why they are drabbles instead of official chapters#they are the rough rough drafts of chapters#This would be a hard chapter because there are so many things i wanted to type but yet the flow of the drabble and story only goes so far#Writing whining aside this is the next drabble#maybe i will revisit things that were mentioned later#You guys i wanted to add how everyone has their own love language and explain the one of the guys but i just couldn't get there without it#breaking the flow and that hurts so much! I wanted to talk abotu that! sigh#maybe another time#but i promised myself these drabbles are unedited and stay as drabbles and rough shape so here we are!#but yeah if i ever turn this into a full full story with even more in between bits and expand the drabbles this would be terror to figure#out just because there is so much i would want with it1#okay i am going to stop now
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Names are so vital. So important and held to who a person is and gods Claude who has known Jericho through being far closer to Simon than himself now; through Jericho and the taking of his FACE through having to take in the mind of bloody fucking Martin. If names bring power, what sort of humanity does it draw out of a person when they’ve seen you try on a good couple. Maybe I’m just in my own head about this but truly, there are versions and layers of learning and change to the Jericho we know now, and after a certain point? If we move past his childhood? Claude has been there for nearly all of them besides the tubs. When he lost Kassie there was someone else and this one hasn’t LEFT through his learning and hasn’t died through him stumbling into the world and overall at his side. He has truly been one of the people closest to him. One of the closest you could get, at the very least, when you wear the face of a tormentor and feel your gut twisted by their own memories of their hatred of you or how you her them, and you can’t remember a world without that hurt. I’m never going to heal from these two I swear it.
(also the taking of Martin’s face is destructive to my mental health rip someone please save me it ruins me every time I remember it, n WONDER he had brother issues dude)
#city of blank#like seriously tho imagine being Claude and watching this man you died for break down#as he has to relive memories of his own torment THROUGH THE ASSAILANTS LENS. Like wtf dude I’d lose it#Claude is sat there at his side. Likely still helping coax him into showers as he’s growing skin.#Likely helping him find ways to stay clean and get up in the morning. Claude knows how to clean up without the energy for a shower#we’ve all been sad like that before. He gets that. He knows that. And fuck I hate how his apathy likely trained him for this#for helping someone take little steps into a world that has never welcomed him and actively hurt him#to teach him humanity and whatever he would let himself be taught. To grow into himself and not just into Martin’s skin.#AND THEN he watched him heal from being blown up and was there in the jungle shit and likely as Jericho’s red blank space came in like that#like. He has seen SO MANY VERSIONS of this man and stuck around for each one#i fucking love him. Symbol of bloody loyalty. Through thick and fucking thin. He has supported Jericho since the dawn of his second life#and he’ll continue to do so in as much time as the world will give him. No matter if it costs him an arm and a leg#or his family. Or normalcy. Because he doesn’t want normal he wants jericho. And that man is always pulled away from normal#by the very same world that has told him since birth that “normal” isn’t achievable for him#im actually distraught over them like im gonna sob i blame 66 this shit is too good#root rambles#jericlaude#claude cob#jericho cob#kinda long mb
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Drunk!Law who, anytime he uses his powers, somehow "accidentally" ends up with a lap full of Zoro.
#that's all#that's the whole post#one piece#roronoa zoro#trafalgar d. water law#trafalgar law#zolaw#law x zoro#Drunk Law is all “let me get the sake so no one has to get up. Rooom! shambles! th- Zoro-ya!”#“What are you doing here? in my lap? which is definitely not something I was secretly thinking about”#After a whole 48 hours of wano celebration Zoro is just used to it#“Sure thing Torao look I was just getting a nap in so Imma just gonna go back to sleep but I'll stay here so you stop dragging me here”#Oh fuck#Now Law is stuck with a sleepy Zoro-ya curled up against his chest#napping in his lap#and he can't move without disturbing him (also his whole face is pink)#alright Captain#they'll just leave the two of you here then#*snicker in Heart Pirate mischief*#the zolaw au nobody asked for
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man i love open endings. the fact that thanks to yuuji there might indeed be the next time sukuna talks about in case some idiot decides to eat a finger again. and we need fics where yuuji is that idiot
#hiding this in the tags but i think jjk and mha kinda conveyed the same concept#i haven’t mentioned it because sukuita always steals 100% of my attention but gojo’s moment was great too! as i said i think gege stayed#true to his characters till the end and i’ve always thought gojo coming back to life was absolute bs not because i didn’t want him back but#because it would completely ruin what was trying to be told through his story. he carried out the destiny he was doomed to carry out and#gege even specified this for us and /why/ it’s going to be different for yuuji#it can also be found in the way gojo and sukuna fought vs yuuji and sukuna#and it’s rly similar to horikoshi’s concept of the new generation reaching out to the villains and trying to understand them & /that/ is#what ‘the greatest hero’ truly means#ok now i’m digressing because gojo was more about himself and the title he was stuck with but it’s all so similar you know#which brings me to my point (finally)#the fact that the villains always ‘loses’ in the end. and i’m thinking that letting them live would be such a risky direction to take bc#it’s so easy to make it either corny or unrealistic. if the whole thing is about succeeding in reaching out then it’s going to happen at the#very last. and realistically it’s going to be too late. they’re going to be too far gone and it sucks but that’s how it is#shoto can discuss soba with touya but he’s still slowly dying. you know#so the best we can hope for is that the battle the villain fought at least leaves a mark and they sure did#something something the bad guy changing the good guy as much as he changed him#so yeah um maybe i am making sense maybe i am not but i woke up this morning and kinda went insane because it dawned on me that yuuji gave#sukuna another chance to life taking himself out of the equation#UGH. CIGARETTE EMOJI#speaking of which i’ve been (im)patiently waiting for olasketches and cruyuu’s reactions#my fave people on tumblr are genuinely the first people i think about after something good happens#my post
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i know it’s angstober but i wanna write a vampire au so bad
#sakusa i am thinking of you#vampire sakusa torn between selfishly turning her so he can be with her forever or letting her stay as a human so she can live her life#human yn who loves sakusa and wants to be with him but is horrified by the idea of loosing her humanity and being stuck one way forever#hmmmmm
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Wow Calypso’s quite the creep
#seven years stuck on an island with her??#good grief#as if monsters weren’t enough#he’s got a goddess trying to get him to stay with her forever#JUST LET HIM GO HOME TO HIS WIFE ALREADY#trin reads the odyssey
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something about the way guilt is portrayed in beyond evil. guilt as a state, guilt as a place you're condemned to. 'i will go to hell' 'life is hell' 'you shouldn't even set foot in that hell' but it's not really the hell we think of, not in the traditional sense. hell is where you're supposed to be sent to suffer and repent forever but all of them go there willingly. (that's why han kihwan will never end up there as juwon wants because he feels no remorse over his actions) they choose to stay and let it scorch the life out of them until all that's left is someone hollow and brittle, real person buried beneath the surface in a grave they themselves dug. in that way it's not lee changjin or the water that killed nam sangbae. it's guilt. that's what doomed him in the end. that hell of his own making he never managed to escape. and as he drowned, he probably thought he deserved that too. jeongje's still there until the end but so much of him died long ago. he's a ghost haunting himself. he tells juwon 'if you don't get out quickly, every breath, every moment of your life becomes a nightmare' if you stay that hell alone long enough, that's what happens. at a certain point you can't wake up anymore. you forget how to leave
#there are these parallels between nsb jj and jw#how both of them give him advice that comes from experience#'don't do this you'll regret it' 'don't do this there's no coming back from it' and both times he doesn't listen and ends up just like them#jw's almost a ghost in the beginning like jj but ds and manyang yank him back to life#and then ds doesn't let jw become another nsb he refuses to let him stay in that hell alone he says as much#i think ds learned how to claw his way out a long time ago#what he says in ep14#'wouldn't regret be a luxury for me'#a luxury#he understands that guilt at its most extreme is ultimately self serving#because it keeps you in this woe me state where you become so obsessed with your own failure that everything else gets drowned out by it#ds does the opposite he decenters himself in his mind focuses on the pain of others instead of his own#'this is how he makes himself happy' this is how he survives#he knows that wallowing in guilt won't do any good won't change anything what's done is done he accepts it#he says 'if i could go back i WOULD do the same thing again because that's all he could ever do#he did what he thought was right at the time now he has to live with it#nsb can't figure that out can't accept his mistakes can't move on from them so he's stuck in the past#he dies stuck in the past#'you want to cry aloud for your mistakes but to tell the truth the world doesn't need any more of that sound' you know?#that i think is the point in the end#but does that ever fuck you up how jj nsb and jw (for a while) are driven by guilt but ds always acts out of love#he has so much of it despite everything#and juwon only surivives because he starts acting out of love and care and devotion instead of shame and remorse#beyond evil
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ha ha ha. the way my feelings started to grow for my best friend right before I found out he's moving states and states away over the summer. ha ha ha. so pony and johnny core hahhaha
#see i was JUST about to tell him how i felt (maybe)#and i was JUST about to suggest a qpr (maybe)#and now i find out hes leaving me...#EVIL!!#hahaha this is sooo doomed ponyboy and johnny qpr hahaha#i always knew one of us would make it out of this shitty little town and one of us wouldnt#and maybe this entire time i knew id be the one to stay. of my own choice? i cant even tell anymore#but to finally understand what he means to me after all of these years and to know hes on his way out#very heartbreaking!#this town is a dead end road. lets leave this behind lets just get up and go#find a new place to call home. make a new life we can call our own#someplace where we can be free. free to decide who we want to be.#it certainly is all becoming clear now isnt it?#i want to get up and just go with him but how do i get out of this poor ass town#and the worst part? we're both bound for bigger things its just that one of us has a way to get there#and its certainly not me#also did i mention hes moving far out to the country? am im stuck in this little poor town?#and weve always talked about a life spent together?#feeling very doomed right now#life imitates art i guess#sooo...if anyones up to hear me rant or vent through my little heartbreak
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correct me if I'm wrong but I was just thinking about the roykeeley in season two of it all, and that fight where Keeley loses it at Roy for being clingy because she can't handle how close they are now that they work in the same building but like,,, Keeley and Roy would have been working in the same building while dating for a good chunk of season one as well.
She started working at Nelson Road before Jamie was even sent back to Manchester. They would of had months working in the same building, so either Roy has always been that clingy and Keeley just didn't mind at first, which I found doubtful given that it only takes her like a week to blow up at him for it in season two, or Roy being clingy is an out of character thing for him to be doing that should've raised some kind of red flag to friends and loved ones that I feel like from what we know about Keeley as a character would've been treated with more empathy than she actually had in the show.
#i'm going off of memory so this might not be anything#but wasn't one of her complaints that he sat quietly in her office reading when they were on break?#girl how is that being clingy and not just regular levels of wanting to spend time with your partner?#I stand by that Roy wasn't in the wrong for that#I actually stand by Roy not being in the wrong for MOST of his relationship with Keeley#I don't even think he was wrong for breaking up with her#I will not ever view breaking off a relationship you aren't happy in as selfish#and I don't care how much the show tries to make me view him as selfish for it or like he threw something good away#no he didn't#just because Keeley was hurt by being broken up with (understandable reaction) does not mean Roy did the wrong thing by breaking up with he#he looked at the way their relationship was going and saw that he wouldn't be happy if he stayed so he left#and the show tried to frame that as a bad thing#“maybe i should've just stuck around and enjoyed it”#no sir that's not how these things work#staying in a failing relationship just because you don't want to be alone isn't healthy you did the right thing#your career and your love life aren't metaphors for each other#and let me be clear Roy and Keeley were 100% a failing relationship right from the start of season 2 with the fight that inspired this post#keeley's feelings about the breakup aren't more valid then Roy's just because she's the hurt party#and they clearly broke up amicably if Keeley is willing to sit down and tell Phoebe about it with him#she wasn't jilted or wronged in any way and the show framing it like that grinds my fucking gears
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NAMI NEEDS TO GO UP THERE AND FIGHT BIG MOM I AM SO SERIOUS!!! THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE ROMANCE DOWN TRIO!! SANJI DO NOT DARE TAKE HER SPOT!!!
#big mom just giving birth here on the battlefield.....#do i comment on the incestuous relationship between clouds made of the same soul??? no?? okay...#oh jesus.... goodbye kid and killer.... nami needs to get up there and take control of zeus and i am so serious#HER SKILL IS SO POWERFUL AND SO PERFECT FOR THIS FIGHT AGAINST BIG MOM BUT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT PART OF THE STRONG TRIO SHE GETS STUCK WITH#THE B LIST VILLAINS!!!! LKKE WHY DOES SHE NEED TO FIGHT ULTI?? OKAY THAT WAS MEANINGFUL BUT THAT COULD END THERE!!!!#SANJI GO FIGHT PAGE ONE!!! SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF ULTI AND LET LUFFY ZORO AND NAMI TAKE CARE OF KAIDO AND BIG MOM!!! I AM SERIOUS!!!#big mom is inside the castle.... maybe i will get my wish granted (kinda...)#kid and nami against big mom.... maybe sanji can join... i can see it so clearly.... come on now.....#if namo knew armor haki she would have gone up there and taken zeus and dealt with prometheus and his sister wife. let the others w/ big mom#fucking hawkins... end him killer.... calling him domesticated lmao... end his pathetic ass#using conqueror's haki on the weapons..... also zoro having it too.... the flower petals symbolism..... OHHHHHHHHH#nani indeed...... BREAK THAT MACE!!!! YEAAHHH!!!! law is completely baffled#KAIDO GOT SENT BACK!!!! LETSGOOOOO AND THE OG INTRO MUSIC QUICKS IN!!!! law just saw god again....#he said fuck off i got this.... omg.... he is either gonna nearly die and doesn't want them to follow or doesn't want to worry about them#while he fights and they try to defend him.... no other explaination (apart for 4 the plot reasons)#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1028#luffy king of everything that was such a slay#they changed luffy chiquito's design....#i was gonna say luffy swimming...... but he can't yet akdhajsj#yasopp taking care of everyones children but his own...... i see how it is....#WHY WOULD SHANKS STAY IN GOA IF NOT TO TALK WITH GARP WHO LIVES THERE!!! I AM TELLING YOU SHANKS IS IN KAHOOTS WITH THE MARINES!!!!#i was thinking about shanks scar... and thought it might be from buggy with his three knives in between his fingers you know#but it is too small... like the knives would take more space.... but maybei might be reaching and it is from buggy and not like a little paw#or little hand.... however much distrubing you want to paint it....#shanks is testing little luffy's intelligence... he knows his weak spot already akdhjasj#uta calling herself a diva.... ajshaksn might this be the reason luffy was so inclined to having a musician since the start???#episode 1029#that was like a perfectly realistic relationship between an older smartass girl and a younger boy lmao it was spot on
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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