#less pressure to worry abt responses

[shadamypositivity]

a negative post under the cut (not from me, I'm just commentating on it)

(See OG post below.)

due to the nature of my blog normally I wouldn't even bring this up but a) I'm bored while IT is working on my computer (AGAIN) and b) i like a good discussion.

I'm gonna skip over the obvious fallacies of shadamy being a fake ship (bc what does that mean, I have no idea) and that SEGA never acknowledges it (they clearly have) or markets Shadamy (if the Shadamy Sakura series and them being marketed together didn't clue them in, then they are willingly ignorant abt it lol)

I did want to discuss the Amy Rose Minnie Mouse aspect and her "purpose of the franchise" bc i actually have a lot of thoughts to this! And before I go one, it should go without saying but I do love SonAmy, it's very cute and they're characters who can have good chemistry and deserve good things! Anyway, here's my thoughts.

Amy being created to be Sonic's Minnie Mouse as far as I had read it was pressure from the company to make Sonic more marketable (i.e. adding girl character, hero saves damsel quests etc). What i love about how they went about it was flipping the script, especially for the era, it was more commonplace for damsel characters to be the sweet, love interest (Minnie, princess peach, princess daphne) that the hero pursues as a goal to complete as well as a reward for his efforts.

Sonic being adverse to Amy's advances, who is supposedly created to be the love interest, is unique and adds to his personality which was a really good move imo. it added to the edge that Sonic kind of gives as a protagonist, his sass, his impatience, his cock sure nature while also being altruistic and loyal of course, but him viewing Amy as a friend that he occasionally has to rescue and bear the affections of is objectively silly and fun.

Now, pertaining to Amy's purpose of the franchise being Sonic's endgame love interest, I do take a lot more issue with. Not only does it invalidate Amy's space in this franchise, making her no more than a romantic reward for the ending of Sonic's hero's quest (because, if SEGA thinks Sonic won't "slow down" for Amy now, it implies he will have to undergo some sort of change or, less noble, when he seems himself ready to reciprocate Amy's feelings on his terms, irregardless of how long he makes Amy wait for him) but it also ironically makes Sonamy make less sense canonically.

Like, if Amy is only meant to work as Sonic's female, romantic counterpart, why does SEGA not let it happen canonically? Because it's not a ship war thing honestly, most of the GP already assumes they are and there's plenty of valentines merch to suggest otherwise, so...why not just do it? probably because it doesn't make sense for Sonic's character and I don't just mean for SonAmy, honestly, I mean it for any and all Sonic ships. It isn't that Sonic doesn't love or wouldn't have romantic feelings, it's that I think he doesn't allow himself those attachments. Friends are everything in this world and I've always loved this franchise for showcasing an array of lovely strong friendships, but the difference in friends and significant others is that there's compromise, there's balance, there's giving up things, there's building a home and a family and doing things as 2 as opposed to only needing to worry about yourself. friendships are no less of a love than romance but there's also a lot more grace in friendships when it comes to responsibilities and emotional compromises. I'm getting into the weeds a bit here but what I mean to say is that Sonics character doesn't make sense for a romantic partner, free like the wind and on an eternal hero's journey. It has also never appeared to be a want of his to be able to have these things (but im willing to be proven otherwise) Maybe down the road it would, but that's not fair to Amy or any other partner for that matter. Amy's whole world doesn't need to revolve around waiting for her hero to be ready to accept her, especially to a character so full and rich in love and affections to give.

It doesn't escape me that one of Amy's most defining and strongest showing was because of Shadow. This is kind of where I can get extremely biased and go on and on about how great a story arc would be for Shadamy to become endgame. Briefly, Sonamy being canon kind of takes away from Sonic's character, while Shadamy enriches. Amy who obsesses and does everything for the attention of her first love finding her own purpose and making her world bigger by being her own hero which was the case for her finding her courage after feeling useless by helping Shadow to remember his promise just by being herself. Shadow who is jaded and hurt and isolated from friends and the world he now lives in finding love and affection and strength in those things because of Amy Rose's big heart. Idk, it's all very poetic to me.

So in conclusion, Sonamy and Shadamy good, but writing wise, Shadamy has a lot more going for it. One of my irl friends who watches sonic things over my shoulder has always taken issue with Sonamy being the canon default bc of her pursuing and Sonics pushing away. When I introduced her to the idea of Shadamy she hoped on with more enthusiasm haha probably bc it was around the mosth era and that was a pretty good showing for them haha. anyway. these are my humble thoughts. I'm not all knowing of this franchise or think myself correct in every way but idk. I don't think its fair to rule out character shipping just bc it wasn't the original intention. that happens all the time with things after all (RIP canon zutara) so maybe op can take a chill pill 😅

[ddejavvu]

im not like an overly creative person when it comes to requesting stuff (sorry also im a lil drunk rn) but i saw ur thing abt wanting ppl to send u anakin stuff n i jus want u to know that like. that blurb u wrote abt him sticking his fingers in his girl's mouth destroyed me im jus imagining him playin w my mouth in the morning to wake me up

this was sent in almost a month ago but i sincerely want you to know that i read it at least once a day. i haven't had the time lately to give it proper attention but it's been on my brain since conception, thank you <3

this post is 18+, minors dni.

It's not the sunlight that wakes you, nor is it the traffic outside. It's fingers, fingertips, prodding at your stiff gums and making the malleable flesh of your cheek extrude. There's an ache when it's pulled too far and your eyes open, not enough of a startle response as you should have when you wake up to someone poking and prodding around your teeth.

You're unsurprised to find Anakin staring intently at you, his eyes locked onto the pink flesh of your gums as they whiten where he presses. He pulls at your bottom lip when he notices you're awake, and you move your head with it so that he doesn't tear it clean off.

He feeds your lip right into his mouth, kissing you with fervor he shouldn't have this early in the morning. He had tugged on your lower lip but it's your upper he fixates on, tongue tracing your teeth like his fingers do. Your lower lip suckles lazily against his own, and his nose briefly butts against yours before he angles his head differently to pull you in impossibly closer.

He does something so entirely Anakin, something you'd recoil from if it came from anyone else: He takes a moment to gather a mouthful of spit from his own throat, then pushes another kiss to your open, waiting mouth to feed his saliva past your lips.

It's messy, some streaks down the side of your mouth and soaks into the silken pillowcases you'd bought to preserve both your hair and Anakin's. They're new and you mourn the stain on them, but your brain isn't able to worry for very long before Anakin pulls his mouth away from your own to study the way his spit drips down your face.

He prods between your sealed lips with his fingers, but he muscles your head into a semi-upright position so that the load of spit in your mouth doesn't spill. It soaks his fingers but he watches it blend with your own, watches it spread around your mouth, drown your teeth, coat your tongue.

His breath puffs from his thoughtfully parted lips, fanning over your own and beginning to dry the spit on your face. You let him watch, content to lounge while Anakin's spit becomes your spit. When it's mingled with your own, when there's no discerning which saliva is his and which yours, you tuck your tongue to the roof of your mouth, swallowing it all as one blended essence.

Anakin doesn't speak- this odd habit of his, this unusual fixation is never one he feels he needs to explain or apologize for. All he does is lean in and kiss your mouth again, much less wet this time than the first.

When he draws back he reaches into your mouth one last time with spit-soaked fingers. He grabs hold of your tongue, pulling it from the protection of your teeth and leaning in to press his puckered lips to its surface. Your gag reflex begs to constrict your throat but you muscle it down, letting Anakin's nose eclipse the crescent-moon of your lower jaw.

You chase it with a kiss when he draws back, and his brows furrow, his face curving into an amused grin like you're the weird one. You ignore it, though, letting him sink back into the warmth of the slept-in sheets.

His chest makes the perfect resting place for your face, and his hand raises to blanket your jaw. His palm covers your cheek, and his thumb rests against the seal of your lips. You don't need to part them- he will, if he wants inside. You simply let your eyes flutter shut, leaning in to the pressure against your lips and puckering them gently against the pad of Anakin's thumb.

[venusiandollz]

songs on my Hollywoods Dead: Forever Deluxe album are about in my fame dr

🍒⋆⭒˚.⋆🍒 ⋆⭒˚.⋆🍒⋆⭒˚.⋆🍒 ⋆⭒˚.⋆🍒⋆⭒˚.⋆🍒 ⋆⭒˚.🍒 ⋆⭒🍒

will be long post

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻. ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

tracklist: 19

1.- jealous girl → Jealous girl is about when you want someone who is already in a relationship. NOTE- y'all I SWEAR this isn't about something going on in my dr LOL

2.-Say yes to heaven → This is about about when Chris and I stopped communicating for two weeks and though I was so upset with him I still wanted to be with him.

3.-Edward Siccorhands → being with someone who is broken and in ways unfixable but as much as you want to be with them and help them you cannot and you're only hurting yourself in the process.

4.-Hollywoods dead → it's an melancholic point of view of lost love and disappoint with the culture of fame. With the use of stars from the 20th century and the pain along with it e.g. "Elvis is crying" showing that the life of hollywood is dead and over not like how it used to be.

5.-gods game → It's about the media hurting you but then also loving you at the same time. Which turns into a tug of war deal inside your head not knowing what to believe if that makes sense

6.-velvet crowbar → being so in love with someone it turns into an obsession and you cant be without them

7.-your girl → This is about being in love with someone you're not with and like it says wanting to be their girl

8.-russian roulette → this is a dark love song about how you will still love someone even through the hard times risking everything for them and wanting them to be the last love of your life

9.-sand → This is a sad song about no longer being with someone, and even though you're not together anymore, you still feel like they have parts of you. For example, the metaphor in the song is 'you have more pieces of me than the desert has sand.' Although they have pieces of you with them, you don't have any to hold on to, as in the lyrics 'and I have less pieces of you that I can hold in my hand.'

10.-ridin ft: ASAP Rocky → its honestly just a fun song about a guy and girl having fun together and the relationship is nothing serious

11.-Fantasize → this is about wanting to do the.. devils tango with someone already in a relationship

12.-stay alive → about a sad time in my life when I got so much hate from Chris's fans for being with him that it took a toll on my mental health but also having the people who love and cherish me be my side making me get better

13.-fragile things → this is about love being so fragile like a glass antique that it could break any minute if not taken care of

we are finally done with Hollywoods dead!! Now onto the deluxe

1.- tired of singing the blues → feelings of burnout and exhaustion, both physically and mentally. Also reflection on how you are tired of dealing with the same issues and problems over and over again, and longs for a change or a break from the routine.

2.-ride monologue → this is kind of like the song before the song think of 'Not My Responsibility' right before 'Overheated' by Billie Eilish the meaning play into one another if that makes sense. This is just me resighting a poem i wrote on freedom

3.-ride → the feeling of wanting freedom in your life wanting to go and be free from all problems and worries

4.-pink champagne → this is about being sad (not related to the relationship) and also in love with someone and wanting them to stay with you through it and love them even if you don't feel happy (abt me & my man Chris hehe)

5.-American beauty → about societal pressure and expectations for women to conform to certain standards of beauty and femininity. Along with my beauty, a lot of people talk about it, good or bad. People put me in a position where I'm considered the pinnacle of beauty, so I'm expected to uphold that standard.

6.-breakfast in bed → sad song for my sad girls ofc. This is about losing someone you didn't want to and struggling to come to terms or comprehend why it ended with not wanting to move on.

longest post of my life

if you wanna listen click here!!

‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮Hollywoods dead:forever ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅

Hope you guys enjoyed this it took FOREVER to make it lol

BYE!!!!

[icycoldninja]

Can you perhaps write a reader whose a war veteran/anti-war photographer with the DMC boys?

She became an anti war photographer after witnessing multiple horrors and war crimes committed by both her country as well as many others during her time serving as a front line soldier

When they ask her why she finally chose to become an anti-war photographer, she confessed that she can’t keep turning a blind eye to every atrocities committed by some soldiers ( some nights, her guilt of ignoring both her ex-comrade’s as well as other soldier’s war crimes comes to eat her up, reminding her of who she was and what she could’ve done to prevent their war crimes but instead she chose to stay ignorant as she didn’t have a backbone then )

So that’s how she became an anti-war photographer, to raise awareness of the after effects of war the governments chose to keep silent about in hopes to press enough pressure on them to apologize for their committed war crimes. Not just war, but also to raise awareness about silent genocides still happening in some parts of the world

A small part of her reasoning has to do with the fact she still feels guilty of feigning ignorance to the war crimes she had to commit as well as other’s so she became a photographer in hopes to feel less guilty abt herself

Yes, of course, enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Veteran!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante was worried about you, and how you always run out to the front lines to take pictures of all the atrocities going on over there, then sending them to news sites so word can be spread.

-He couldn't understand why you did this. You were a veteran, someone who'd been in combat plenty of times in your life, why would you want to go back?

-After some time, he decidedd to ask you about it, not at all prepared for the response you gave him.

-You publicly displayed your opinions against war because you felt guilty for all the crimes you committed during your time in service and wanted to show the world that war was harmful, as a way to atone for your sins.

-While Dante thought that was a noble effort, he didn't want you going out there and putting yourself in danger.

-If you weren't going to reel it in, then he would go with you to ensure your safety.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil never paid any mind to humans and their foolishness; they could wage all the wars they wanted and he wouldn't care.

-However, that all changed after discovering you were an anti-war photographer who readily charged into the fray to expose the harsh truth of battles.

-He instantly became more concerned with affairs such as these, though only for your safety.

-He once traveled to the front lines with you, and while what he saw was horrific, it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.

-He later asked you why you did all this, and what you hoped to gain from doing such dangerous work. After hearing your reasoning, he decides you are a fool.

-While what you do might cleanse you of your guilt and all that, there's no denying you're willingly putting yourself in danger, and that you could likely get killed taking pictures of the violence. You must understand, he doesn’t intend to sound like he wants to crush your dreams; if something were to ever happen to you, he'd never get over it.

□ Nero □

-Nero knew you were a war veteran and that you'd seen some shit, but he didn't think it was so bad, you'd start becoming an anti war photographer.

-Getting you to explain why you do what you do was difficult, as it was a sensitive topic, but once you revealed the truth, Nero understood.

-Not that he's opposing you. If anything, Nero's supportive of you and your feelings. He's seen a lot of violence too, remember?

-He is concerned about your safety, but that just gives him an excuse to tag along and help take pictures.

-He's not scared of the blood and gore, nor does he enjoy it; he just wants to help you in any way that he can.

-He's your assistant, cameraman, editor and pretty much anything you need him to be. Even though he isn't as zealous about promoting anti-war material, he still helps because he knows this is your passion.

● V ●

-V didn't think much of your profession when he saw/heard of it.

-It's your business to do what makes you happy, and if taking pictures of the violence on war fronts makes you happy, then so be it.

-While V is rather worried about you out there, Griffon frequently assures him he has nothing to worry about; you can take care of yourself, and if he's really that worried, then he go with you.

-V decides to take this sage advice and accompany you on your next journey. Needless to say, he did not enjoy it. No one did.

-Upon returning from that traumatic trip, V asked you why you would willingly charge into such a dark place like that, knowing the horrors that lay in wait.

-Your response was equally as dark; it showed him just how much battle had scarred you and how far you were willing to go to atone for what you'd done.

[stellarwaffles]

Ooooo you wanna talk about your ocs you wanna talk about them so bad ooooooo

Sorry for taking 381 days to answer ummmmm hi I want to talk about Ari

I don't think I've really posted about Ari on tumblr so I'll include basic info

Ari uses she/it/him pronoun and is a lesbian. She is a lion lava monster + is 6ft tall

Ari Sunfall is the oldest of the Sunfall siblings (Ari, Ziva, Leo, Daniel, Cherry*, Talya, Dasi)

When Ari was 13 her parents had to go be at war they weren't allowed to stay at home + raise their kids anymore so as the oldest Ari had to take care of her siblings

If you've ever heard Surface Pressure from Encanto that's the only song on my Ari playlist

Anyway um when Ari was 16 she got a girlfriend yaaaaaaay they were t4t :3

they dated for an amount of months before Ari's gf broke up w her bc taking care of 5 siblings was clearly stressful for Ari + gf was worried dealing w that and also a relationship was too much for Ari. Ummm she had good intentions but this made Ari put more effort into hiding when she's stressed

When Ari was 18 she had to be in the army </3 fuck Monstrox we all hate that guy

Ari got to see his parents for the first time in 5 years so that was nice

Ari also got a girlfriend while in the army! When Ari was 20 she dated Kirsten. They dated for an amount of months

:3

Kirsten broke up w Ari </3

:3

so um ye when the lava monsters got trapped in the Book of Monsters Ari was also trapped. Bc she's a lava monster

S1 nexo knight Ari is one of the background lava monsters

At some point in s1 the lava monsters attack a town called Kneadton + during the attack Ari gets distracted by the smell of freshly baked bread and goes into the bakery where Feather works

Feather is Rather Frightened and as a panic response. Acts friendly + normal as if Ari was a regular customer instead of part of the army attacking the town

Ari is thown off by Feather acting friendly + instead of stealing or destroying anything like she's supposed to he politely pays for a box of cookies

Feather + Ari are friends now. You can't escape being friends with Feather

At the end of s2! When Monstrox is trying to possess Clay or whatever + the knights save him + there's like an explosion or smth + they think Monstrox is dead fr fr. The explosion throws Ari into the rocky wall + she gets a bad injury

But um hey good news the lava monsters all want nothing to do with Monstrox + go build a town so they can chill + just live their lives

Ari takes a while to recover from his injury + has to get used to sometimes relying on others instead of always being the one people can rely on

Ari also has a back brace now. I haven't done enough research to say much about this

Once Ari is doing well enough to get a job she starts working at a bar in Burningham. He works a late shift + so she sleeps in late in the morning

This is around s3 btw + also Ari is 23

At some point Eva is adventuring around, as one does, and accidentally finds Burningham. She wanders around town perceiving + goes into the bar + this is how she meets Ari!! Yay!!

Eva is big gay for Ari. Eva + Ari become friends yay yay friendship

Ari starts getting feelings for Eva but she's in denial about it. They're just friends! Ari totally doesn't wanna kiss Eva or anything!

Teehee time for s5 (Ari is 24/25 now. I'm less sure on the ages here bc s5 + s6 were never made)

So um there's the apocalypse going on. Fun! (It's not fun)

I haven't brained much abt what exactly happens around Burningham during the apocalypse I'll be honest so some of this might change idk. I've mostly just rotated the angst in my mind

Burningham got swarmed by cyberbugs + people had to either try and fight them off or run away

The Sunfalls have safely escaped a bunch of cyberbugs + are in the woods. They're worried about Talya bc none of them have been able to contact it at all, but the rest of them are all safe and accounted for at least

Ari faintly hears something deeper in the woods + goes to investigate. A smart decision, surely. You should always go alone to investigate voices you hear in the woods

Ari finds Eva sitting by a tree calling for help. Eva says she was injured while running from cyberbugs + she needs help just come closer walk forward come just a bit closer please

Something seems off to Ari, and rightfully so bc this is a trap. Eva is infected

A bunch of cyberbugs were hiding around the nearby trees. Eva + the cyberbugs attack Ari and Eva tries to convince Ari to be evil being infected is great actually she's totally not being forced to say this

Ari doesn't want to fight Eva so she's trying to fight defensively. At one point in the fight Ari takes Eva's scythe from her hands and without thinking impales Eva, killing her

Ari stares at Eva's body for a moment, realizing what she just did, before running away (the cyberbugs are still there. They chase after her)

So you know how I mentioned Ari likes Eva but is in denial. Yeah so sometimes you realize things at very inconvenient times. Sometimes you're processing that you just killed the person you're in love with and wait a minute in love? Oh fuck

Ari doesn't really have time to focus on that or on grief bc she's gotta focus on making sure him + its family survive the apocalypse

Daniel gets separated from the rest of the family for a bit which has all of them worried but this isn't about him so don't worry about it

After the apocalypse ends the Sunfalls go back to Burningham + Ziva is sent to pick up Talya from school. Ari finally has time to process the everything + breaks down crying

*shoutout to anyone that remembered I put an asterisk next to Cherry's name! She was not part of the family before this point

Ziva returns w Talya + Cherry, Talya says Cherry is part of their family now. Everyone immediately assumes that means Cherry's parents are dead. Everyone also immediately accepts Cherry into the family. New sibling!

After idk a few days Ari goes back into the woods to get Eva + take her to a mechanic. Ari is worried sick that she did irreparable damage, but is hoping Eva will be fine

Ari is not very good w tech + things of the sort, she doesn't understand all this new tech that's been invented in the past 100 years. Squirebots weren't a thing back when he was growing up, so she doesn't know anything about squirebot anatomy. Ari has no clue if she killed Eva permanently or if Eva can be repaired

Eva is repaired yay yippee yay she doesn't have any permanent damage, her brain's all fine, etc etc

After checking approximately 1 million times that Eva is in fact alright + no longer injured, Ari apologies for killing her + Eva assures Ari it's ok she doesn't even remember it honestly so truely it's chill dw. Everything from when she was infected is kinda foggy, actually. She doesn't remember much of being infected

Anyway moving on Ari also confesses to being in love w Eva yay yippee yay they can kiss now I love when girlfriends

A few weeks after the apocalypse has ended!! Ok so remember Kirsten? There's something I didn't mention. Before she broke up w Ari she got pregnant, but neither of them knew

So as I said a few weeks after the apocalypse ended- Kirsten + her girlfriend (she has a girlfriend btw) go on a date at a bar. Which just so happens to be where Ari works. Wait I forgot to say Kirsten's girlfriend is Ari's first ex

Ye so Kirsten tells Ari she's got something important to tell her but like if it can wait til later that'd be nice bc she's on a date rn. So she gets Ari's phone number + address

Kirsten shows up to the Sunfall house the next day w her + Ari's daughter, Sunny

Ari didn't know what to expect when Kirsten said she had something important to tell her, but she certainly had not been expecting a kid

Sunny is 4 btw Ari was 21 when Sunny was born

Kirsten wants Ari to take full custody of Sunny she didn't want to be a mom she wanted Ari to take care of Sunny from the start, she just didn't know how to contact Ari. Phones were invented after they broke up

Umm I made up Sunny recently so I'm still working on this lore but at some point Eva calls Ari a milf

Misc info!! Yay!!

Ari is a nickname for Arson, the name Arson has been passed down in the family for generations Ari is Arson V (Arson the fifth) (Sunny is also a nickname for Arson, Sunny is Arson VI)

I mentioned this when Eva died but Ari isn't good w phones or tech or anything like that she's kinda a boomer L L L skill issue

Ari spent so much of his life focusing on taking care of her family and being personally responsible for everyone's safety that she never. Got any hobbies (on this topic Ari + Talya have parallels. Talya stole the bad mentality and the lack of hobbies + some other stuff)

At some point Eva gets Ari into hiking! This idea brought to you by the bestie Milkisvibin803

At some point when they're dating, Eva finds out Ari wants to be more feminine but doesn't know what exactly to do about that. So Eva takes her dress shopping to see if maybe that'll help (it does) :)

[viilocitee]

so I’m delusional and I literally just started my dive into the Roy x Wolt ship and your last post abt them was SCRUMPTIOUS so I was wondering if you could give us some headcannons for their relationship???

HI ANON, omg, sorry for the late response!!!

Uhhh... I had to look back at my posts and I don't know whether you were referring to someone else's ask about Roy's marriage options and I was like "WOLT IS HIS SEVENTH OPTION" or the one that was a Mother's Day post and it was kid Roy and Wolt haha.

ANYWAYS, I STILL LOVE THEM. It's just that I am OLD and have to age up Roy and Wolt if I ship them (went through my drafts and died a little bit from all of my Roy x Wolt drafts hahahaha), but uhhhh, I do remember my headcanons from waaaaay back until now, so here they are (if you're still interested...)

But welcome into the Roy x Wolt ship!!

Roy x Wolt (as kids)

Roy is an absolute menace and no one can tell me otherwise. He was the reason for Rebecca's headaches.

Roy constantly dragged Wolt into situations resulting Rebecca just yelling at Wolt (because he's her son) and Wolt hated playing with Roy, which made Roy sad and so Roy would bring him things to apologize (turns out they were items from other people and then just got Wolt into more trouble...)

Roy wore a lot of white because he was the Marquess's son, but his shirt always came back a darker color... Wolt's did too, but mainly Roy's fault lol

Roy x Wolt (as teens)

At one point, Wolt realized that they were in different stations therefore he stepped back to do whatever he was doing in their supports (which pissed Roy off honestly).

Wolt is taller than Roy as teen and has the height advantage until he didn't...

Roy's puberty kicks in (mainly because I headcanon his mother as Ninian and therefore dragon blood causes slow puberty?) and just becomes taller than Wolt

Idk, they make up and etc, but Wolt continues to support Roy on a more personal level too

Roy x Wolt (as adults) - This can go several ways, but mainly headcanon Roy ceding Pherae to Lilina for the Kingdom of Lycia (as stated in FE6's ending)

Roy and Wolt stay in Pherae and do whatever they have to do, but the pressure is less on Roy now since Lilina is the one who officially needs to have a heir for the Kingdom of Lycia, so they probably adopt kids and raise them as their own

OR Roy and Wolt leaves Pherae and travels (read: Smash Bros LMAO) and they have their family however they please

My personal headcanons

This is controversial, but uh... Roy tops lmao. I prefer my ships certain ways and I've been shipping Roy x Wolt forever and Roy always topped, so if Wolt tops well... I'm not interested lol

Wolt is a few months older than Roy: Rebecca gave birth to Wolt and wanted another daughter, but got another boy (Roy) to take care of, so she never had another child lol.

Only Wolt really knows Roy's true nature--I know Lilina mentions that she knows how clumsy Roy is and etc, but I'd like to think that Roy actual puts up a front around Lilina as well just so she doesn't worry, but he doesn't do it with Wolt. Essentially Wolt knows how much of a menace Roy REALLY is.

Roy is hotheaded/passionate while Wolt is cool and a bit more calm (just look at their affinities in the game. Roy's is fire and Wolt's is ice/water)

Wolt learns how to hunt and cook from Rebecca, so Wolt is a much better cook than Roy. Roy probably sets burns ice cream or something idk.

If I haven't bore you yet, I'm willing to put more headcanons I guess! But thanks for your ask--I found some drafts of Roy x Wolt that I might fix up and post :3

[boypr1ncesss]

the difference between inazuma and natlan, widely agreed to be the worst regions in the game, is fascinating bc they're bad in opposite ways, inazuma being a great concept w shitty execution and natlan being a horrible concept that's well excecuted, but bc of the same reason, which is that hyv is scared to portray any of its regions or playable characters in a negative light.

natlan can't be literal hell where no one enters and no one leaves like it's been described as for YEARS before its release, it's pokemon world w dinosaurs where everyone gets along and the hot springs are a tourist location, the war only involves a few ppl once a year and half the time if they die they don't stay dead, civillians are never involved and it's against a pure evil bad enemy that's the aggressor, it only affects daily life and civilians for less than a week in universe where everyone fucking dies all at once and then the power of friendship wins and everyone that survived is back to normal. the abyss is totally responsible for the fall of khan'riah and not the other way around despite Every Version B4 Natlan Implying Or Outright Stating The Opposite, so now you don't need to worry abt playable characters like venti and zhongli taking part in what was basically a genocide or the abyss order having a point actually. lumine was the princess of khan'riah actually despite this contradicting literally everything else. there was no war in a happy place like natlan until the evil no nuance abyss order attacked, despite the fact that we have references to war in natlan pre-dating the abyss order and the first in-game reference to the region was venti calling the pyro archon a warmonger. also all the characters are gimmick characters who were clearly made in isolation then thrown together. no nuance allowed but at least it's well made.

inazuma meanwhile has the opposite issue, where inazuma is objectively portrayed as a shitty place to be by everyone and everything in the game but for every moment of 'inazuma fucking sucks' there's another 5 'yayyy isn't inazuma fun' moments. like inazuman politics are portrayed to be cutthroat which is lightly explored w ayato but then hyv likes to pretend he doesn't exist and when ayaka makes her big dramatic 'i want to have fun w my life instead of being the perfect princess all the time' decision it's just ignored how that might be a politically dangerous decision, as is ayato's friendship w Literal Gang Leader arataki itto. despite the tense political climate p there's p much no one who feels negatively towards various political figures, most notably sara, ayato and ei. foreigners are mostly restricted to a certain area and yet the inazuman public isn't portrayed as xenophobic? logically speaking thoma should get called slurs every time he leaves the house. there should be excecution warrants out for kazuha and yoimiya at Least. the ratio of gimmick characters to characters who logically make sense in this region is equal but the gimmick characters get priority. it was actually one of ei's puppets that killed kazuha's friend and countless others so she can't be blamed for all that. yae miko is there and does nothing but undermine ei's potential development by peer pressuring her into a good choice and be hyped up by the writers. scara is also there and does fucking nothing but at least he sets up a damn good plot for ver 3. kazuha briefly uses one of the coolest powers ever and then it never gets mentioned again. the world quests are consistently more interesting than the story quests. this is just the tip of the what's wrong w inazuma iceberg.

like inazuma at least HAD potential which it squandered, every piece for a damn good region was there and it just repeatedly failed to utilize them to their full potential, it would not take that much rewriting to fix inazuma. natlan on the other hand, actively avoids potential and repeatedly contradicts events which happened earlier which might leave room for nuance if left as they were originally presented, the only way to fix natlan is to start over.

one of the most common criticisms i see of natlan (which i agree w wholeheartedly) is that there was more war and inazuma than in the literal nation of war, and ppl like to counter this w 'well inazuma wasn't good either' and like. yeah no shit. there's a reason why ppl point to sumeru and fontaine for their examples of good regions and not goddamn inazuma. that's not what we're talking abt rn though.

[txdoroki]

welcome home

i used a prompt by my lovely mutual @missmorosis <3: “You know, you’re allowed to be mad at me.”

pairing: shoto todoroki x reader :)

genre: fluffiest shit ever

desc: todoroki just got home from a week long business trip, and he feels more than guilty about leaving you back at home alone.

gn reader | warnings: you might get a tooth ache it’s so sweet | words: 1,114

a/n: this is not the angst i was talking abt, imma write that soon. so for now,, enjoy some todo fluff my loves <3

you smiled as you shoved another spoonful of cereal into your mouth. you had been looking forward to this morning the entire week, and you felt like you were about to explode from how excited you were.

you were sitting on the edge of your dining chair, shifting your weight between your feet as you tried to hurry and eat your breakfast.

all of last night you could barely sleep, the mixture of missing your husband’s warmth beside you and the excitement for today causing you to toss and turn.

although that had barely put a damper on your mood, your focus less on the sleepiness that dragged down your eyes and more on the fact that shoto was finally coming home today after being gone for a whole week. even though a week didn’t sound like a long time, he was nearly never gone from home for more than two days at once.

especially since he’d been so busy the past week that he couldn’t call or even respond to half your text messages until late when you’d be asleep.

to put things short .. you missed him. a lot. it was like a breath of fresh air knowing today was the day you could be in his embrace again after so long. the hoodies he left that smelled of his cologne were barely a temporary satisfaction for you, and you ached to be in his arms.

you only took a few more minutes to finish your cereal, and afterwards you struggled not to speed as you drove to the airport.

you anxiously sat on one of the benches nearby the gate your beloved’s flight was going to be coming in at, your leg bouncing as you scrolled through your phone to try and pass time that seemed to be going by as slow as humanly possible.

“whatcha doin’ there, love,” you smiled as you looked up at the sound of your lover’s voice from a few yards away. there he stood, his bicolored hair slightly getting in his eyes as he softly smiled at you. you put your phone in the pocket of his sweatshirt that you were wearing, and ran towards his open arms.

the embrace you shared with him made your heart nearly soar out of your body, and you didn’t want to leave it for a long time. one of his hands ran up and down your back, his hold on you ever so tight as if he was worried you would evaporate into thin air. his hands that roamed over your body seemed to leave trails of goosebumps on your skin.

you felt so giddy. like a kid in a candy store, getting to choose whichever candies they think would be the tastiest.

“i missed you so much,” you whispered and pressed the side of your face against his chest, your cheeks heating up ever so slightly when you smelled the cologne you adored on his body.

“me too, ’m sorry i was gone for so long,”

“it’s okay, just don’t do it again,” you giggled and cupped his face with one of your hands, moving to stare into his eyes, “it was terrible, i was so touch starved!”

he chuckled, “no worries, i’ll fix that soon enough, now, let me go so we can go home,”

you sighed and nodded, reluctantly loosening your grip around his waist. he noticed the faint pout that was on your lips, and silently held his hand out. you, of course, happily took it.

you led him out of the airport and to your car with the most eagerness he’d seen from you in a while. your grip on his hand was tight, and you appreciated how inviting it felt.

the car ride home was filled to the brim with you both sharing stories from the past week .. and kisses during each and every red light you were stopped at. you both held hands for the entire drive, only letting go when he had to drag his suitcase inside of your home.

you both spent the day making up for lost time, and you seemed to have been in his grasp, or at least near him, the entire day.

you cooked dinner with his arms around your waist, although once or twice, you half-heartedly complained about how he was going to get elbowed sooner or later.

it had taken twenty minutes of you insisting that he should let you make dinner for him that night as a welcome home gift, he usually made dinner, so it caught him off guard.

you both were practically attached at the hip for the rest of the night, enjoying dinner on the couch while todoroki’s arm was around your shoulder.

after dinner, you were pressed against his side as you watched the movie you agreed on with an abnormal amount of focus.

after a little bit of you laying against him, you made an attempt at pushing him onto his back.

he paused the movie and turned towards you, “you okay, honey?”

“yeah! just wanted to cuddle,”

“but we’re already cuddling, what do you mean,”

“i wanna lay on your chest, please,”

he raised an eyebrow, nodding after seeming to be lost in thought for a moment or two.

you smiled when he laid down, happily flopping ontop of him as he started the movie back up again.

you started focusing on the movie once more, and right when it was about to get good, he paused it.

“are you upset?”

you shook your head, “no, why would i be?”

“i mean .. i was gone a while and wasn’t being the most responsive, you know, you’re allowed to be mad at me, right?”

“of course i know that, but you were gone on a business trip. why would i be mad about that? i’m just happy you’re home right now in the first place!” you smiled at him, trying to hold back a giggle at the light blush that was littered across his cheeks.

you both still had the capabilities to make each other’s cheeks heat up like crazy, even after being together so many years.

“i love you, y/n,” he rested one of his hands on your head, all of it but his thumb staying still. the light pressure of his thumb running small circles made goosebumps cover you from head to toe, and you giggled.

“i love you too, babe, welcome home,” you smiled at him for a moment before reaching for the remote and resuming the movie, enjoying the feeling of your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around you.

your favorite way to spend time was being with the love of your life.

taglist: @frxggie @todoroki-shoto-is-life

[shinydocsberrytea]

does anyone have any advice on how to tell your significant other/gf that you have an eating disorder? especially if you’ve never said that fact out loud in your life.. i’m worried she’d want to break up because i’m too emotionally complicated or bc she’d feel i’m too much responsibility for her or that my eating habits would negatively affect her mental health. although she has talked about how she hates feeling bloated, doesn’t want to gain weight, & how she’s insecure abt her stretch marks & cellulite or that she used to be (neither of which i’ve ever seen on her body). she’s also very open about how much she hates her thighs. i hate when she says that bc my thighs are like twice the size of her. that definitely fuels my eating disorder. since before puberty she wasn’t confident in her skin & wasn’t comfortable eating things. for example when she was 8 she was already insecure about her thighs and didn’t eat pasta for a month. but as of now she seems fine. except for the fact that when she’s stressed/depressed/overwhelmed she doesn’t have an appetite. i know it’s wrong to be jealous of that. but as someone who binges when i’m a certain kind of stressed i do somewhat envy that. anyway my point of all this was, at least maybe she does understand disordered eating. although since we got together she has seemed happier and is eating normally. i purchased a yerba mate and a naked smoothie and some pickles and iron supplements at the store for her the other day. i love putting her stuff in my cart when grocery shopping. seeing her eat calms me down so much. when she skips meals or eats really tiny portions it makes me so nervous/concerned/insecure/worried. she’s already so skinny and i worry all the time that she’s not getting enough calories/protein/vitamins/antioxidants a day bc she also just doesn’t eat a wide enough range of foods. (while i’m over here consistently eating less than 1200 cals daily depending on my canned veggies & sugar free chocolate & diet soda.) i also don’t want her to lose weight. one, she’s already as perfect as someone can physically get & two, i feel like it would put even more pressure on me to lose more weight & faster. & when i feel pressure/stress about weight that’s what makes me want to binge. anyways. advice pls

[husbandits]

Merry Christmas!

This is my secret santa gift for @unlikelynick, I hope you like it! this year I went with a minific abt charles and arthur’s relationship. it’s a little smuttier than my usual fare in the first half

  @rdr-secret-santa

It’s a sweltering day in late July, and the air is so humid that Arthur’s shirt feels glued to his shoulders. He feels practically worn out by midday but does his best to manage with the weather, a shorter than usual list of chores to keep him busy, the promise of a little attention when the sun goes down, and only the barest amount of layers necessary to look presentable. Right now he has a big bag of feed for the horses thrown over his shoulder, and not much but simple manual labor in mind. There’s a twinge of complaint to the bulky weight somewhere in between his shoulder blades, though it’s not yet enough to actually hurt, so he ignores it. Pushes the ache aside for later, when he’s not as busy, and focuses on the heat settling on his cheeks, from the exertion as much as the persistent thought of the reward waiting for him later. On getting this chore done, and then finding the supplies Miss Grimshaw’d asked him for earlier that morning. 

He does his best to shake off the carnal haze, hauling the heavy canvas bag across camp without much trouble. Offers Charles a wave of a greeting as he carefully clambers into the loosely gated off pen where the horses are being kept, though he doesn’t realize that, focused on repairing some worn bit of equipment as he is, Charles doesn’t see the gesture, and instead Arthur allows himself an eyeful of the man’s behind, the vague form filling out his grass-stained trousers, doing his mounting ardor no favors. He gives a masked groan, as he lets the feedbag drop to the ground, less discreetly than he’d like.

“Alright there?” Charles jolts at the sound, and glances up, briefly from his worktable, brows knit in worry. The hot sun casts a golden highlight across the line of his jaw, and Arthur takes a moment to just take in the sight.

He catches himself after a moment, and gives the man a shrug. “Yeah, yeah, s’fine. Just a little beat I guess.”

Charles nods at that, responds with a dull “I see”. Arthur lingers a moment, wanting to say something, clarify himself, but ends up with nothing. Just hangs there, lost in the moment. The heat sitting low in his gut, the way Charles’ presence makes the chaos constantly buzzing in his head grow still, and the want that’s been driving him half-mad all day.

Against his better judgement, against (or perhaps because of) the threat of [kissing] in the light of day, Arthur scans the sparse campsite briefly, and then his tenacity comes back in the form of a question, voice low in his chest. “Y’gotta minute t’spare? I, uh, I think this heat’s gettin’ t’me a bit...”

The offer is soft, hushed and almost hidden when he ducks his head, as if embarrassed, but it draws a warm chuckle from Charles all the same. It’s been nearly three months now, and Arthur is still finding himself taken by surprise by how earnestly affectionate Charles is, brazen almost, despite the risk. The man responds by reaching out, moving to ghost one hand around Arthur’s side in a feigned attempt to reach past him, for the leather-working tool hanging behind, palm warm against the thinned fabric of his worn-out work shirt. He gives just a moment of pause, eyeing the other side of the camp as well, before he moves closer. Murmurs, soft lips tantalizingly close to Arthur’s cheek. “I suppose I can spare a few minutes, if you need my help...”

The decommissioned wagon makes for good enough cover, as the pair duck behind it, shielded by the dense canvas, the wooden frame resting on the ground. Arthur gives to the heat building in his gut almost immediately, pushing closer still, following Charles down to the ground as they meet, arching into the hand that comes to rest at the back of his neck, absently. The kiss is soft, tender, and Arthur pulls away quickly, only for Charles to pull him right back. Chuckles again, holding the man’s sharp jaw with one firm, gentle hand. Guides Arthur down, sinking to his knees as Charles bows back, drawing him to follow.

They part again after a long moment, Arthur straddling Charles’ broad lap, large hands shaky with restless energy. In the back of his head, there’s the vague notion that this is getting to be too much, too open, but it's overridden by the languid, hungry way Charles leans into his touch. The rough feeling of the hands brushing against the sensitive buds of his nipples, the weight of the man’s brawny chest under his fingers. His shirt is being slid out of his waistband, buttons gently tugged out of their holes one by one before he can protest, and Arthur just sucks in a soft breath in response, catching Charles' lips once more. Delights himself in mapping the layout of his mouth, sucking the man’s lip between his teeth and toying with it.

Eventually he pulls away again, long enough to allow the both of them to catch their breath, and Arthur manages to find the presence of mind to mumble, “Need yer t-touch here,” before succumbing to the pull of his boyfriend’s allure again. Hums, sliding his hands up Charles’ coarse linen work shirt, while the man’s attention drifts lower, sliding his hands down the frayed waistband of his jeans, and practically squeezing his admittedly thick-set hips.

One of the horses, Old Belle, gives a curious snort as he shudders in response, but Arthur pays the interloper no mind, shooing off the mare with an absent toss of his hand. Feels as much as he hears Charles’ coarse laugh, lips pressed to his collarbone as his collar is pulled away entirely. Turns back to his boyfriend, meeting the man’s amusement with a reverent kiss to his temple. Falls back into his lips before he can give more than a moment of sentimentality.

This time they’re quicker, hungrier. Languor gives way to greed, and Arthur’s hand finds its way up to cup the sharp side of Charles’ jaw. Feels the attention drifting down to his [ass], and hisses against clenched teeth. Despite the cloying heat, the constant threat of being caught, he spreads his legs a little further. Lets Charles fumble with his belt, half-convinced that they’ll stop themselves before it gets too far.

The two of them have only done things proper a few times before, hidden away in one of the dilapidated cabins in the mountains, where no one could hope to stumble onto them, but right now, worked up as he is, all of the sense he’s managed to cling to over the course of his life is lost.

Once his pants are undone, belt hanging open depravedly to allow his throbbing length room, pressing against Charles’ still-constrained member ever so slightly. He sucks in an uneasy breath, shifting his hips to allow the hand toying at his behind better access, though the restrained man doesn’t move beyond squeezing him in loose handfuls. Mercifully, Charles at least seems to keep his head, and doesn’t go any further. Just allows himself a low sigh of want, and gently guides him back down, dick pushed where it can grind at his own rising member, moving one hand to pull open his trousers.

He gives Arthur a second or so of warning before he moves again, smoothing his slightly clammy palm over the head of his member. Arthur shudders in response, biting back a low groan behind clenched teeth, breath catching in his chest. He can feel the heat showing in his chest, the rosy blush Charles has told him, some months back, looks endearing on the tips of his ears; but he can’t do a thing about it. It’s been nearly a fortnight since he’s found the time to take care of himself, and now he’s all but lost to the satisfaction of it. Feels too good to care about modesty.

He knows he looks obscene, leaning back on his ankles, grinding himself forward helplessly against Charles. Feels worlds better, when he feels the man push back in return, chasing the pressure of Arthur’s member on his. Another beat, and Arthur throws out one hand, fingers splayed on the grain of the wood, grounding himself. Bites back another moan, less successfully this time.

Just as he gives in and puts one trembling hand on the pair of them, just as he feels himself start to bottom out, Arthur is hit with a throat being cleared, and the distinct sound of boots hitting one of the head-sized stones lying around the campground, exaggeratedly loud. Feels his heart nearly stop, and his blood freeze. Dares to look up, around the false protective cover of the canvas, after fumbling his pants back together with shaky hands, feeling Charles tug his own pants back together, presence warm at his side. Emerges, to find not only Dutch standing in the shade of the nearby elm tree, looking outright disappointed, arms folded over themselves, but Hosea standing beside him, expression pulled tight.

His thoughts grow still, breath almost coming to a stop. Every near-miss from his adolescence flashes in his head, the hushed reprimands about keeping himself hidden. The time they’d found him, kissing some boy in some town when he’d been somewhere in his early twenties, only to throw a fit and pack everything up in the middle of the night, skipping town. The-

“Arthur.” Dutch’s voice is sharp. Pulls him back to reality with it’s rigidity. “What, exactly, are the two of you getting up to back there?”

He gulps, feeling his hands tremble. Moves out from behind the wagon, unable to drag his eyes from the dirt floor, throat clenching up.

Before he can get more than a choked syllable out, Charles is responding. Has pulled his pants back together as if nothing had been happening, shirt falling back down into place, moving to his side with a light touch. “I don’t think that is any of your business, really.”

A pause at that, Dutch’s expression going from dismayed to incredulous. “It’s none of my business, what sort of, of perversion goes on in my camp?”

 He seethes, growing in volume and indignation, but Charles doesn’t seem fazed. brick-walls the man with his usual nonchalance, as if there’s nothing really of interest to him at all. “I don’t really see the fuss, honestly. You don’t get this upset whenever you catch John and Abigail, do you?”

Arthur jolts at that, and Dutch seems to bristle. Fumes, voice turning to a cracked pitch. “You don’t see the, the fuss with what, I assume, the two of you were getting up to? With defying the very word of god, in my, in this camp?”

He flinches at that. Charles moves a little closer, one hand moving to Arthur’s. Though the memory of that incident, the threat of being tossed out, though a little irrational at this point, is still sharp in his mind, Arthur finds himself calming, though his throat still feels like it’s full of sand.

“Not really.” Charles eventually counters, voice dull. “I mean, it’s not like we follow the ‘word of god’ much anyway.” He deadpans, seemingly unaffected by the fury that seems to radiate off of Dutch at that. “I’d always thought the bible condemned theft. Not to mention murder, but we don’t seem to have much of a problem about all that.”

Dutch gives a guff, wrinking his nose in disbelief. “No, I suppose we don’t, but this is-”

“This,” Charles interrupts, low voice growing just the slightest bit sharp, just a hint of intimidation to Dutch’s heaping browbeating. “Despite what it looks like, isn’t some quick fling. What we’re, what we’re building is a real relationship. It’s earnest, and it’s certainly not dangerous, not from anything but the law, which’ll hang any of us either way, and you.” Charles’ voice is a tense growl, and “And, for all your talk about ‘family’, I can’t imagine you’d really turn on Arthur, not for something as harmless as this.”

Arthur feels his jaw loosen at the words, at putting their relationship out in the open, and laying everything out so plainly. He opens his mouth to speak, but still, still can’t manage a sound, and reaches out again to catch Charles’ hand again, give it a squeeze. “And I don’t know what exactly you think constitutes a healthy relationship, but I know I, for one, am willing to put in the time and the effort to make this work; and we’re not hollering at each other and dragging other people into our problems, so I don’t see why it should be so upsetting for you.”

When Arthur looks up, Dutch’s face is bright red, and his shoulders are slack. He gapes, but before he can splutter more than a syllable or two, Hosea pipes up, drifting back into focus. Is thoughtful and calm in contrast to Dutch’s indignation, and has an almost remorseful expression. Puts a steadying hand on Dutch’s shoulder, as if to pacify him.

“Well, I… I can’t say thought it would be quite this, ah, explosive, but it’s good to see the two of you finally stop dancing around all this,” He muses, brushing past Dutch to clap a warm hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “Although in any case I’d think the both of you might like to be a little less exposed than out here with the horses. Maybe save the, er, houghmagandy for somewhere private?”

Charles grunts at that. Gives a long, cautious look, and then seems to ease up. Softens his posture, the aggression he’d shown smoothing over like it hadn’t happened in the first place. Turns to Arthur, pulling his hand away with a last squeeze. “Alright then. I’ll see you later?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, pressing a quick kiss to Arthur’s cheek before he pulls away. Strides off, heading back to the horses, after shooting Dutch another quick look. 

“Uhh,” Arthur finally, finally manages to find his voice. The wall of unease feels lessened, now that everything’s been tossed out in the open. Now that Hosea, at least, has acknowledged them, and seems to have given his blessing, even. “Yeah, alright.” He tugs at the open edges of his shirt, eyeing Dutch’s receding form for a scant moment. Jerks into motion, one hand coming to rub at the back of his head. “I gotta move some a’the supplies fer Miss Grimshaw, now that I think about it...”

He gets a grunt at that, but Dutch doesn’t speak again. Just huffs, heading off without comment. He doesn’t get more than a moment to ponder that however, Hosea throwing an arm around his shoulder and leading him in the other direction. “Oh, you got talked into doing all that? Here, I think I know where the supplies she was looking for are, let me give you a hand, son...."

[cryptocism]

ive been scrolling through ur blog for a while (cuz ur dc opinions are Top Fucking Notch) and i saw what you said abt bart in tt 03 and f:fma and while i totally agree (it killed tt 03 for me lol) im super curious abt how youd do his development if given the opportunity?

I’ve been thinking about this one like A Lot so buckle up this is long: 

it would kind of depend? On whether or not he’d be in an ensemble team like Teen Titans or with his own solo series. 

I understand metatextually why he became Kid Flash in TT, since they needed him to be more mature and a more recognizable character and having him upgrade costumes/codenames is a good shortcut for both. But I’ve already talked about why it didn’t sit right with me. 

So, lets flip the script a little bit - the start of TT would be largely the same. Our boy Bart is on the new Titans team, and things are kind of awkward after YJ disbanded, also Max is gone and Bart’s relationship with Wally is still not doing great. Things are rough, Bart has newfound doubts to deal with, especially now that the world seems to have gotten harsher and everyone seems to have a lot less patience to deal with him. The pressure to be more mature and a recognizable character is coming from other characters now rather than an authorial need: he’s reminded to take things seriously, or that he should know better by now, that he needs to slow down and think more. So Bart decides a change is necessary, and we get the library scene. He reads all the books, he reappears as Kid Flash, saves Tim via bullet catch, disassembles a gun, takes down Slade, etc. etc. Here’s my departure from canon though: it doesn’t work. 

Kid Flash is not a solution, or a magical cure for immaturity. Reading a whole library so he’s miraculously smarter and more mature and capable is, at its core, a pretty naive conclusion. And it makes sense he would think that. But it doesn’t work. He’s still impulsive, distractible, hasty. He can’t put a lid on his own sense of humor. People still think he’s annoying or lazy or careless. And he keeps trying - he knows all this stuff now, he read a whole library! - but he’s still apparently too much the same person as he's always been. And even though he’s trying very hard to live up to the Kid Flash name, it still doesn’t feel like him. Wally doesn’t like it, since Bart is literally just imitating him now, which makes things between the two even worse. And Bart keeps worrying about what’s supposed to come afterwards, since “Kid Flash” is inherently temporary, and while Impulse was only peripherally related to the flash legacy, Kid Flash comes with expectations. 

Bart is trying very very hard to be ‘grown up’ and ‘mature’, but he hasn’t actually learned anything other than a bunch of facts (which are still useful, but) he’s just trying to be who everyone expects him to be. 

And this is what i mean about the ensemble thing, because this arc would be in conversation with the rest of the core four, who are also trying very hard to be people they’re not, but all in different ways. Bart obviously with the codename change, but Cassie, Tim, and Kon all have similar issues, they’re all trying to imitate people. 

Tim is doing his Batman jr. routine, reverting back to the persona he had at the start of YJ. He’s cagey and mysterious and does questionable things without telling anybody, because he’s de-facto leader of the team again, and he has to be better than he is. No more kid stuff, the Titans are serious, he has to treat it like a job, not like a sleepover. And this whole act is putting distance between him and his friends. 

Cassie is trying her hardest to put herself in a support role. Donna’s gone and she has some big shoes to fill (she and Tim could probably bond about that if he weren’t stubbornly trying to brood at all hours of the day) and she’s doing her best to just Be Donna. Cassie and Tim would work better with their team roles swapped, and they both sort of know this - Cassie is naturally charismatic, thinks on her feet, can maintain good PR, and when she’s confident in herself is great at leading. Tim is partial to planning ahead, secrets, and keeping in the shadows, and is better at being a confidant and emotional problem solver among the team (when he allows himself to be open among friends, that is). 

But they’re both trying to fit themselves into what they see as pre-ordained roles: Robin is leader, Wondergirl is a supportive mediator. But Cassie’s got a temper and little patience for people being idiots, and Tim’s not predisposed to spotlights. 

Kon on the other hand has a story that’s less about who he should be and more who he shouldn’t be. The Lex Luthor dad storyline is here (minus the mind control shit, although the threat of it is still brought up) and Kon is doing his level best to do nothing that could be interpreted as something Lex might do. While everyone is doing their best to Not be their own person, Kon has no idea if he ever was his own person. He’s questioning everything he does, wondering if it’s some kind of evil gene showing through when he’s angry or petty or selfish. He’s going through lots of clone angst. 

So they’re all dealing with expectations and who they are or aren’t supposed to be, trying to fit themselves into boxes that don’t suit them and then convincing themselves that this is how it ought to be. Kon ought to avoid feeling or acting in any negative light because any sign of Luthor is a sign of evil, Cassie ought to tone herself down and act like Donna, Tim ought to step up and lead the team and act like Dick, and Bart ought to listen better and be smarter and slow down and grow up and do his level best to just Be Wally. 

Throughout the issues they’d all get a spotlight on their various crises, taking them through complimenting character arcs. Kon would realize through a couple close encounters and chats with ma and pa and talks with his friends and citizens of metropolis that nobody is all good or all bad. Clark can be a real asshole sometimes and Luthor’s actually done a fair bit of good (usually in his own interests, but still we’re gunning for nuance). Turns out he doesn’t have a dark side to be tempted by, he was made from 50% complex person and 50% complex person, just like everyone else. Which means he isn’t destined to be the next Superman, or Superman’s next supervillain. He’s just like, a person. With his own thoughts and feelings that have nothing to do with genetics. 

Tim would wear himself out and hide it from everybody until he killed himself, but it’s only when he sees Cassie also wearing herself out too that his ‘somebody needs somebody’ instincts kick in and they’re actually able to talk about how miserable they both are. Through some trial and error they’re able to figure out a good co-leader system for leading the team, having each other’s backs along the way, which allows for them both being able to help out the other members of their team with their own shit i.e. Kon and Bart’s identity issues. 

Bart is, like Cassie and Tim, wearing himself out trying to be this perfect version of Wally that never actually existed. He actually hates the recognition the new name gives him, because people have expectations for him now, ones he can never seem to live up to. He’s bad at following orders still, which makes him a pretty shit sidekick for Wally, in fact he’s just pretty shit at being a sidekick in general. But, he reasons, he’s supposed to be grown up and responsible now, and responsibility is all about doing shit you hate until you die, so he’s probably on the right track. 

It’s only later, once he gets some support from his friends, who help him deal with things like Max and YJ disbanding and stuff that he’s able to actually sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Wally. Wally confesses that he understands the pressure to live up to a legacy, and how he did his best to just Be Barry when he became the flash. In fact while Bart was trying to live up to Wally and be a good sidekick, Wally was trying to live up to Barry and be a good mentor. Wally’s the one to tell him that Bart’s always done his own thing, and is at his best when he does. They both agree they suck as partners, but maybe they should’ve tried to be family first. And there’s probably a racing metaphor in there somewhere because speedsters love their racing metaphors. 

ANyway Bart returns to Impulse, forging a new path, getting along better with Wally now and hanging out with him just as civilians with no pretense. He learns some valuable lessons about how maturity can’t be learned in a book, and that he’ll get it himself the more he lives and learns from experience. The Titans all get along better now that they’re all sure of their places in the group, and they can all go on just being themselves without worrying about expectations or roles to fill or whatever. 

...If Bart still had his solo series instead though, id actually want it to go in a sort of different direction? The thing about living up to predecessors and trying to be some ideal version of another person works well for the Titans because they can all deal with a similar issue in different ways, but I think it would also be interesting to do the complete opposite. 

Lots of shitty things happened in very quick succession in Bart’s life that he had no control over: Max’s disappearance, having to move in with Jay and Joan (who are nice, but whom he barely knows,) leaving his friends in Alabama, Young Justice breaking up… Basically, things kind of suck for Bart, and all he wants is for them to go back to the way they were. Instead of trying to be grown up or mature or whatever, Bart is resisting every single encroaching thing about coming adulthood. Because all growing up ever seems to mean is that everything changes and either you have to leave the people you love or they have to leave you. 

So this series would focus mostly on that, both in his civilian life; going into high school, not knowing anybody, the few friends he does make are less interested in ‘kid stuff’ and more focused on dating and interpersonal drama, high school itself seems to be geared entirely toward the “what are you going to do with your life” question, when he visits his old friends back in manchester, they’ve all kind of grown up without him. And in hero life; everyone from Young Justice is trying to move on and not talking to each other, his father figure and mentor is gone and he's not really jiving well with the rest of the flash family, and people just seem to have less patience for Impulse now that he’s older. 

Growing up is hard. It’s hard and no one understands. Especially not when you’re also a superhero and have dealt with some quality trauma like losing loved ones and feeling yourself die. So it makes sense that Bart would resist that in every way possible, do his best to pretend like everything is still how it used to be, for once in his life just trying to make everything stay put. He refuses to get rid of his old stuff, he doesn’t want to treat any villainous threats seriously, people in school keep talking about college and jobs and tuition fees and Bart wants none of that, he acts out, refuses responsibility, gets reckless under the pretense that he never used to have to be cautious. 

And this is the part where I’d bring in Inertia, cause Thad was robbed and I want him to have an actual arc that doesn’t end with infant-splosion. Also he can have a good ol companion arc to Bart. Welcome to foils everybody, where two identical boys with opposing life experiences get to thematically compare and contrast with each other as they deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up. 

So, I’m ignoring every appearance Thad ever made after Impulse 1995, picking up instead where his story left off where he swore vengeance on his creators and disappeared into the speed force. And he’s off to do exactly what he said; Thad Thawne II is going to kill his namesake/grandfather/creator - the president of Earthgov. 

But, turns out assassinating the president of a whole fucking planet is a lot harder than he thought - Thad has planned extensively for every moment of his life, so once he starts going off script things predictably go a little off the fuckin rails. Thad fails, obviously. For one because despite how much President Thawne might deserve to die, Thad at this point hasn’t done anything worse than attempted murder, and making him a killer would put a wrench in any kind of redemption arc he could have. Also he’s acting on rage, in a highly emotional state, basically going up against the entire government. Of course he’s going to get caught by the science police and brought into custody. 

Bart, meanwhile is jumping with both feet into any kind of escapism he can find, which involves various time travel shenanigans and lands him in the 30th century. He gets to reunite however briefly with his mom, but the mission he had gets derailed by the appearance of Inertia. 

Every time Bart and President Thawne interact, the president always seems to make a bid to sway Bart to the Thawne side. This never works, which is part of the reason Inertia exists in the first place; a version of Bart that the president could control. When Inertia landed in the 30th century, hell bent on assassinating his creator, the President subdued him and eventually coerced him back over to the Thawne side of the family feud. No longer a rogue agent, Inertia is back to his old self, all about destroying Bart and the rest of the Allens. 

They have a battle, taking place all over the 30th century city, and Bart does his best but Inertia has the entire Earthgov police force on his side, and Bart eventually gets captured. He gets taken to some kind of holding facility, meets with the President who monologues as him while Inertia stands beside him like a good lackey. Then suddenly the speed-inhibiting cuffs or whatever Inertia had put on Bart to stop his speed malfunctions, and Inertia drops the act, now Impulse and Inertia working together to take down the Earthgov people holding them there. 

Turns out as soon as Inertia knew he couldn’t take out the president, what with all the military force President Thawne had on his side, he bided his time until he could. He uses Bart’s help to finally get President Thawne cornered, and the assassination plan is back on track. Except now Bart is the thing stopping him. He makes the argument about how murder bad. Heroes don’t kill, etc. Inertia insists he isn’t a hero. But Bart reminds him that that’s not how Max saw him. 

Inertia hesitates just enough that President Thawne is able to get away, and now the two of them have to make an escape attempt back to the past. Bart insists on trying to take Meloni with them, and they try but ultimately fail somehow (maybe someone has to stay behind to make sure they can make the trip safely, idk. At first Thad is willing to stay behind, since there’s nothing really for him in the past. But Meloni knows that President Thawne would destroy him if he did, and she can’t let harm come to either of her sons - and she does consider Thad her son, just like Bart. She’s had far too little time with either of them, but she loves them all the same. She tells them to take care of each other, and is the first to encourage them to be like, actual brothers.) 

After yet another tearful goodbye, Bart swearing he’ll find a way for them to all be together again, Bart and Thad go back. And they do end up having to lean on each other, because shit’s tough for the both of them. Thad initially wants to apologize and possibly reunite with Max and Helen, and then finds out Max is gone. And Bart has someone who understands exactly what he’s going through. 

Things get a little more lighthearted from here. Bart and Thad don’t get along well at first, since they’re both going through rough times and lots of changes and their first instincts are to lash out at each other. But eventually they form a sort of camaraderie through shared grief, then shared fish-out-of-water experiences. Which evolves into shared inside jokes and video games and comic books and they become slow but steady friends. 

They upgrade into brothers when Bart defends Thad against the repeated (and not entirely undeserved) suspicion he receives from the rest of the Flash family. Jay and Joan take him in, but it’s clear they don’t trust him, and neither does Wally. Bart stands up for Thad, arguing that he’s as much of a Thawne as Thad is, and treating Thad like he’s the next Cobalt Blue is just going to ensure that history never changes and stupid family feuds are forever. After this, Thad starts trusting Bart a little more, and kind of solves Bart’s problems regarding encroaching adulthood with his friendship. Neither of them really had a childhood, and Thad hasn’t experienced 21st century life at all, much less the societal expectations to grow up. So Bart gets to have fun again, and Thad won't judge any of his games or his books or his attitude or interests for being childish or lame because he’s fascinated by the experience of anything regardless of the target audience. 

And from there it's a series about these two becoming brothers and growing up and the different lessons they learn and wacky characters they meet along the way. Thad ironically also puts Bart in a position where he has to take on more responsibility, since even though Thad can imitate heroic actions and is actually pretty good at it, he doesn’t understand what makes them heroic. Bart has to draw on a lot of the things Max taught him and now has to teach them to Thad. 

There’s crossover comics with Superboy, where Bart laments about having to deal with grown up stuff, and Kon gives him a new perspective on the whole “being young forever” thing, since that was a reality Kon actually had to deal with and it sucked. 

Through various misadventures they meet new and familiar characters to give them different perspectives on the whole passage of time thing. Villains who despise children or childish things, villains who embrace it but probably too much. People who talk about growing up as the worst time of their lives, others talking about it like it was the best. Kids and adults alike trying to force Bart and Thad to act a certain way while treating them another. 

The two of them come to opposing conclusions about this; Thad wants to embrace change completely, partly because he wants to experience firsthand all that life has to offer, but also his worldview depends on believing that anyone can change, and anyone can be better, because he has to believe he can be redeemed for all the shitty stuff he did. Bart, on the other hand, knows his life isn’t perfect but thinks, based on recent events, that it’s all just going to get worse from here, and so resists change as much as possible. 

Thad, in his haste to experience everything, sometimes ends up going too far, either burning both of them out, or pushing them into situations that they’re not ready for or are ill-equipped to handle. Bart, on the other hand is so resistant to change or responsibility that he stops them from doing actual necessary things like planning their futures or doing chores or making new friends. This acts as the crux for their main conflict that slowly builds throughout the series, and then in a finale to the arc, they both figure out a way to get Meloni back to the past, and to raise some stakes they have a falling out in the middle of the mission about it. 

Bart accuses Thad of trying to leave him behind, or trying to be the better version of him again, and that old insecurity about Thad replacing him crops up. Thad thinks Bart just can’t handle anything outside his personal bubble and wants to force him to live in the real world. Plus he also feels kind of abandoned by Bart, who often would leave Thad to do the scary adult things on his own. 

Tensions still high, there's suddenly an external threat to deal with - probably president thawne and the science police - and they attempt to continue arguing even while fighting the president. I’m making this up as I go so lets say yada yada big climactic moment it's looking like the two might fail to get Meloni back and they’re both still angry with each other and Bart just… can’t take it anymore. 

He keeps losing people, and the ones he keeps he always seems to screw up with. And at the end of the day he’s just a kid who wants his mom. Is that really so much to ask? So there’s a reversal, a parallel, if you will, of the assassination attempt from the beginning of the series, this time with Bart. Or, because I don’t think many people would buy that Bart would actually ever for real kill someone, maybe he’s finally about to get his mom back, but she doesn’t want to go (since she made that deal with the president that he wouldn’t harm anyone of the Allen family so long as she stayed with him) so he’s trying to force her, risking the lives/well-being of the entire Allen bloodline across all of time. 

This time it’s Thad who has to talk him down, who has to remind him about being a hero, who has to remind him that trying to go back to some magical time in the past where things were better is just going to stop him from learning and growing as a person, and that doing anything and everything possible to get there is just going to lead to Bart doing something he Actually Can’t walk back from. 

Alright but here’s the thing because having Bart be forced to leave his mom again for like the billionth time is tired and overdone, and personally the whole message about heroics involving extreme and damaging amounts of sacrifice can only go so far. So here; Thad and Bart are both right. 

Like on the one hand, yeah, it’s childish and selfish for Bart to want to be with his mom at the expense of literally everyone else in his family. On the other hand, the fact that they can’t be together because some asshole is upholding a stupid grudge is bad and unfair and wrong. The issue needing to be fixed is not the kid who wants his mom, it’s the jackass keeping them apart (and who also wants to kill/imprison people). So Bart convinces Thad that they have to save Meloni, and Thad convinces Bart that there has to be another way - one where they get their mom back and the Allens don’t have to be hunted. 

The whole story would be leading up to the two of them coming to this conclusion; the healthy middle between the two extremes. Where they have the maturity to plan ahead and sort through their differences and figure out the best course of action with the least amount of collateral, but they don’t let go of that adolescent need for justice and fairness - that thing that makes you dig in your heels and say “no. That’s not fair, that’s not right.” 

SO here’s where I’d put the title card: “Bartholomew and Thaddeus Take Down The Government”. How do they do it? No idea! I’m flyin by the seat of my pants here! Do they run for office? Do they publicize the president’s crimes in such a way he gotta go to jail? Do they somehow turn public opinion against him enough to get him out of office? idk!!! And I don’t remember enough about Earthgov’s political situation to put an accurate read on what exactly they might do to disrupt it. 

Either way they don’t kill him, manage to free their mom, and they all go back to the past together. And a new arc would involve the three of them getting settled in the past; Meloni would be a main character now, and hers is a two-pronged fish out of water story where she’s trying to figure out how shit works in the past, with overtones of the struggles of being a single parent. 

And... I’m not going to say any more about that because this is long enough already oof. 

TL;DR I think a coming of age story would be cool for Bart, and having to deal with growing up when he never really had a childhood. Also the comic itself would be aimed at younger audiences, who can probably relate to having a Bad Time in the Teens and wacky hijinks with friends and siblings.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Fun fact: I googled Winston’s famous “you’re on a revenge jag” quote including the part about digging two graves (neither of which needed to be his). Apparently that was a reference to a Chinese proverb (often attributed to Confucius but not really) that states “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves,” meaning that seeking revenge will probably lead to destroying yourself as well as whoever you’re trying to destroy. In this case, Taylor was screwing over all of Mase (1/2)

(2/2) Cap in their quest to get back at Axe and Winston was understandably pissed at how they were paying for something they didn’t ask to be caught up in. When he said “neither [grave] needs to be mine” he meant that he didn’t have to stay and end up in a grave, which of course led to Mafee attacking him for being “disloyal” for not wanting to be in the crossfire of a revenge plot that he never asked to be a part of. But yeah, make of that what you will. Just something interesting I found.

oh yeah after reading this i also tried to look up if we know the source of the Dig Two Graves saying and apparently we really do not (i.e. yeah frequently attributed to confucius but there’s no actual record of that, been attributed to Ancient Greece or smthing just as baselessly, there’s apparently an idea it could be a rough translation of a japanese aphorism but it’s just an idea)

really winston is laying out his whole Argument v well and i suppose that’s why taylor had No immediate response for him, b/c surely if he Was just gonna complain abt it like “this sucks >:/” and leave it at that, they’d be prepared to maybe handle that level of disgruntlement and have some methods in mind to shut it down, but winston is just Right and is being thorough about why he’s right and like. i don’t think they Can really argue with it, much less were prepared to do so in that moment, and sure seems like they did ultimately agree with him / listen to him seeing as they turn around (in 4x12, not 4x11, rip) to say they Had gotten off-course and weren’t interested in taking the revenge jag route, actually

like, he’s walking through why the Revenge Jag is the only reason they’re not getting bonuses, vs mafee just ascribing it to a general strategy to Save Resources in year 1 of the fund.......pointing out that if taylor Wanted to pay *anyone* full bonuses, they Could prioritize their top employees which does included winston even though he gets no backup on that outside of 3x11 and certainly not now when he’s Cringe N Fail cuz he said Moi while insisting on his value (and when the general audience of the show seems to have decided he’s out-of-line Egotistical for taking pride in his ability and never downplaying it / the value of it) as well as the fact that this isn’t about “oh i Would pay you if i Could” b/c he knows they’re not just waiting for some influx of funds, they’re Only holding back on paying people because they’re Anticipating the [dig two graves] situation, i.e. it’s Because they’re now planning to reorient their strategy around Actively Battling Axe Cap (in that they’re now intending to go on the offensive rather than just reacting defensively to axe’s attacks) that they foresee a need to Conserve Resources b/c they know this course of action could be “damaging” to mase cap by costing them money. and that taylor is putting that Anticipated Burden of an unnecessary plan that they personally chose......like, taylor’s employees don’t really get a say in this shift where the overall direction of the fund is now: Revenge Jag, but they’re pretty literally paying for it, aka having that [dig two graves] Cost put on them, aka neither grave has to be winston’s......

plus winston has Especial reason to be upset with this shift towards revenge jag, b/c he’s the quantitative guy, and this isn’t a Quantitatively Driven approach, as evident by him in 4x08 talking abt how the numbers don’t back up this particular strategy and in 4x12 when taylor’s talking about returning to their mathematical model and then winston says Q is for Quantitative Babey which isn’t just a total nonsequitur......Revenge Jag Tmc would be less focused on the quant-driven approach and thus winston’s work would be less relevant and he wouldn’t be able to just do his best shit for them if it kept being the case like “yeah we’re pursuing this strategy b/c first and foremost it’d suck for axe” so he’d have reason to feel like not only is he being Devalued right now in not being worth like, basically investing in as a Resource (like, speaking of conserving them, Not driving off your head quant would = conserving a resource) but in the future his contributions and ideas might continue to be pushed aside b/c like, again with the Dig Two Graves, the revenge jag probably isn’t gonna be quantitatively-friendly and he’d have to keep writing off his own potential input / have his own strategies be valued less b/c they’re deprioritized in favor of “what might be damaging for axe cap”

and then from a more Meta perspective, there’s the fact that mase cap only has four named non-taylor people, and mafee’s feeling Especially obligated to provide taylor with immediate and unconditional support thanks to his whole “oops i spilled some intel” thing, and sara really wouldn’t criticize this move even if she didn’t 100% individually love it either, b/c it Would conserve resources for tmc and she’s more about telling taylor what they need to do from the “you gotta do this thing you might not personally wanna do to make / avoid losing money” and this is like, the opposite of that, and sara would also probably save such input for a one-on-one meeting lol, and lauren’s not gonna say anything, so really only winston is Available to speak up lol

and that transitions right into how winston’s also immediately proven correct in criticizing the whole structure of this “choice” they’re getting, in that they’re all pressured to take the [defer bonus for a year] route and this is happening not through Direct pressure from taylor, but the expectation that the Social Dynamics among coworkers will push everyone to defer. like, clearly the thing is that everyone’s going to be worried that if anyone’s deferring, that’ll make those employees Look Good b/c they’re proving their Loyalty and “taking one for the team,” and a reasonable worry that those employees will thus be Preferred going forward. and in this moment that winston’s bringing it up, he’s also, you know, arguing with his boss and gets no support / backup on it not only b/c none of the other people present wanna actually make these Complaints themselves / back them up even if, like mafee, they’re evidently not personally thrilled about it, but also b/c winston really doesn’t seem to have much support in s4 beyond taylor’s indirect and implicit validation, which he of course isn’t gonna get here, and if people were willing to ignore / dismiss winston’s input and/or dunk on him about it over basically Nothing before, here’s a chance to choose between “hmm Winston Vs Taylor” like. nobody’s gonna side with winston, maybe not even if he Was popular and beloved, but he’s apparently the guy nobody has much respect / appreciation for and broadly dislikes, so it’s just like. he has Points, and mafee doesn’t even argue against those, just argues against winston daring to bring them up at all, because a) mafee is looking to continue Proving his support of taylor anyways and here’s an obvious avenue to do so by just shoving winston into a locker b/c you easily Can and b) he’s attacking winston not for being Wrong but for being Disloyal for not just Supporting taylor here and being whiny rather than taking one for the team and whatever nonsense about “if you don’t like it, become ceo of your own fund” like, the lesson here is to unionize......but really winston is just proven Right by mafee, a coworker, immediately making this an issue of Loyalty and by winston only caving not b/c he accepts that he’s Wrong on any of his points but b/c he’s being Social Pressured here in the form of “being yelled at / insulted and when he’s yelled at / insulted winston seems to just want it to Be Over, reasonably,” and taylor doesn’t Have to pressure him themself if their employees will pressure each other For them

god i’m still mad about 4x11 lmfao. bitter 5ever like how can you not be. he was Right but it didn’t matter b/c nobody was gonna stick up for him in the face of a) backign Taylor instead or b) in the face of anything, tbh. that shit didn’t kick in until s5, finally, and still only Partially.....peak standing up for winston in the form of rian in 5x05 going “yeah i’ll casually argue for why you shouldn’t fire him" and “oh you’re saying winston should have a drink? i’m saying he should do whatever he wants b/c what are you, shit at math?” thank you rian. probably totally unnecessary and that’s what winston deserves for once, like, go Beyond “someone intervening only if the most belligerent and bullying axe capper comes storming over to yell at winston, but if bill uses his inside voice it’s okay to just monitor the situation even if it involves threats and getting all up in winston’s space like a creep” i don’t think rian would be a silent observer to that

tl;dr Yeah Agree lmao sorry it took me ages to answer this....i was like “oh god i gotta be semi-Coherent for this one and say smthing beyond ‘yeah agree’” and i procrastinated that for this whole time b/c it’s intimidating to think of trying to accomplish that. thank u for the ask lol

[frankencomplex]

hc - mbti

          god I already know this is gonna get so fuckign long bc i’m a huge nerd and can never shut up abt personality analyzation. on tht note , if anyone ever wants to talk mbti or just have me overanalyze ur muse’s personality..... hmu bc i physically cannot shut up abt it

charles is an intp ! i’ve probably said this before & it’s like weirdly integral to my portrayal of him ( or at least gives a lot of insight into it ) so for those of you who don’t know what mbti is at All , it’s a personality typology theory that divides human personalities into four categories : introverts / extroverts , intuitives / sensors , thinkers / feelers , and judgers / perceivers. therefore , charles is an introvert intuitive thinker perceiver , or if you want to get real deep & use cognitive function theories , he uses Ti ( introverted thinking ) , Ne ( extroverted intuition ) , Si ( introverted sensing ) , and Fe ( extroverted feeling ) in that order. 

if you read about the basic characteristics of an intp , the personality type ( sometimes nicknamed “ the logician ” ) is known for being “ philosophical innovators, fascinated by logical analysis, systems, and design. They are preoccupied with theory, and search for the universal law behind everything they see. They want to understand the unifying themes of life, in all their complexity. ” source 

the description above is charles to a T , and i’ll explain why ! he’s a huge introvert. by no means does he gain energy from social gatherings , and he’s far more content to explore the contents of his own mind than to explore the minds of others. he’s an intuitive , which means he’s more concerned with abstract , unconventional ideas , and can be quite detached from the world around him , while a sensor would be focused on reality and their concrete senses. he’s metaphorical , dreamy , non - traditional , and unfocused ( though that is not solely an N trait ). he’s a thinker , which means he relies on logic & facts more than his own feelings or the feelings of those around him. lastly , he’s a perceiver , meaning he prefers to work at his own pace without rigid structure , and prefers open endedness over set plans and commitments.

I know that’s a lot , but it makes a lot of sense when you read about it. now , to get deeper , mbti is supported by the theory of cognitive functions ( Ti > Ne > Si > Fe for charles as I mentioned earlier ). the whole idea is that every personality type uses a “ function stack ” of different modes of thinking / interacting with / viewing the world , and there are four predominant functions per type that are all accessed at decreasing levels of development. the first function is the most developed , the last is the least. so , without further ado , here’s charles’s personality type explained by his four functions. i’ve taken the most useful parts of the article on the following website. source

INTPs’ Dominant Function: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Ti involves the application of logic and reason for the sake of understanding a given situation, system, or problem. INTPs use Ti to bring structure and order to their inner world, granting them a strong sense of inner control. Inwardly, INTPs are highly self-disciplined, working to effectively manage their thoughts and their lives. The disciplined nature of their Ti compels INTPs to frame many things as a goal or challenge. These challenges may be physical (e.g., trying to achieve an ideal state of health or fitness), intellectual, practical, psychoemotional (e.g., becoming self-actualized), or later in their development, interpersonal (e.g., “perfecting” a relationship or becoming a skilled lover). In order to succeed in these personal challenges, INTPs are apt to impose rules on themselves. However, because of the wayward influence of their auxiliary Ne, they commonly end up breaking or sabotaging them.

INTPs are also less interested in working with facts than with ideas. Jung writes: “His ideas have their origin not in objective data, but in his subjective foundation.” INTPs are constantly digging into the background of their own thoughts in order to better understand their origins and to ensure their thinking is founded on solid reasoning. They see it pointless to try to build theories on a dubious conceptual platform.

INTPs often find it easier to identify inconsistencies or logical shortcomings—to assert what is not true—than to identify and confidently assert what is true. They can quickly locate inconsistencies or logical shortcomings in a given theory or argument. They excel when it comes to identifying exceptions or imagining scenarios in which the proposed explanation could breakdown. Due to their sensitivity to theoretical exceptions, they can be quick to throw theories and start from scratch. INTJs, by contrast, seem less deterred by ostensible exceptions, perhaps feeling that they will eventually be explained or otherwise rectified.

When functioning constructively, INTPs, like INFPs, often employ a trial-and-error sort of approach to building their theories and ideas. INTPs start with a given (Ti) and then use their auxiliary Ne to explore various connections and possibilities. They also integrate past experiences and acquired knowledge through their tertiary Si. It is usually only after years of toying with ideas that something resembling a systematic and coherent theory may start to emerge.

INTPs’ Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

INTPs use Extraverted Intuition (Ne) as their auxiliary function. Ne can function either perceptively or expressively. The verbal expression of Ne amounts to something like “brainstorming aloud.” When orating, INTPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly drift from one idea to the next. Even ideas that seem inwardly logical and sensible INTPs may suddenly sound incoherent when they attempt to convey them through their Ne.

In its receptive role, Ne prompts INTPs to gather information. It goes beyond or looks behind sense data, allowing INTPs to discern otherwise hidden patterns, possibilities, and potentials. Their Ne is constantly scanning for relationships or patterns within a pool of facts, ideas or experiences. INTPs commonly use this receptive side of their Ne in activities such as reading, researching, and conversation. They enjoy asking questions that allow them to gain insight or knowledge from others, making INTPs good facilitators of conversation.

INTPs may also use their Ne to sniff out intriguing possibilities. They commonly enjoy and assume the role of wanderer or seeker, rarely knowing in advance exactly what they are seeking.

Ne also confers an open-mindedness, helping INTPs see truth on both sides of an issue without forming unwarranted judgments or premature conclusions. More specifically, their Ne can be seen as contributing to their openness to alternative or Bohemian lifestyles. INTPs are those most likely to suddenly become vegetarians, join a commune, or decide to live out of the back of a van. They are drawn to the idea and challenges of an unconventional lifestyle.

Like other NPs, INTPs often have a love-hate relationship with their Ne. They love the fact that it helps them remain open-minded and grasp the bigger picture. But living with Ne also has its challenges. For one, it can make it difficult for INTPs to arrive at firm conclusions or make important decisions. It often seems that at the very moment they are feeling good about a given conclusion or decision, their Ne steps in and causes them to start doubting it again. This has obvious implications for INTPs who are trying to find their niche in the world. This can leave them feeling discouraged and restless, worried that they may never find what they are looking for. They may feel frustrated by their seeming lack of progress toward anything substantial. The fact is that INTPs desperately want to produce something of lasting worth or value, but they also want to ensure they get it right. They don’t want to leave any stone unturned before arriving at a conclusion. While INTPs typically enjoy this quest for truth, there comes a point when they begin to feel the pressures of life impinging on them. Questions about careers and relationships loom large as they enter their late twenties and thirties. This can be frustrating to INTPs as they feel like life is requiring them to make decisions long before they are ready. As is true of all IN types, they feel that life would be far better if they weren’t forced to consider practical concerns.

INTPs’ Tertiary Function: Introverted Sensing (Si)

Unlike Ne (or Se), INTPs’ tertiary function, Introverted Sensing (Si), is a conservative function. It involves an attachment to past experiences and past precedent—to the routine, familiar, and predictable. Types with Si in their functional stack, including INTPs, tend to eat a fairly routine or consistent diet, “eating to live” rather than “living to eat.” Si types are not only conservative with regard to their diet, but with respect to the material world in general. They tend to be savers rather than spenders, seeing excessive material consumption as unnecessary, or perhaps even immoral.

Like other Si types, INTPs also have a diminished need for novel physical pleasures, lavish surroundings, or material comforts. They are minimalists to the core, relatively unconcerned with their physical surroundings.

INTPs’ Inferior Function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Last but not least, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) serves as INTPs’ inferior function. While having inferior feeling doesn’t make INTPs emotionless robots, their feelings do seem to have a mind of their own, often coming and going as they please. Realizing how hard it can be to voluntarily contact or summon their emotions, INTPs tend to feel awkward and uneasy in emotional situations. Although they may be cognitively aware of the appropriate emotional response, if they’re unable to directly tap into their feelings, INTPs can appear clumsy, mechanical, or disingenuous. This can be unsettling to others who are looking for outward signs of authentic emotion from the INTP.

Fe is also concerned with maintaining social harmony. While Ti and Ne may inspire INTPs to function as provocateurs, their Fe encourages them to operate as peacemakers. Far more often than INTJs, INTPs will “bite their tongue” in order to avoid hurting or offending others. Doing so also minimizes the likelihood of emotionally-volatile situations which can engender anxiety and disquiet in this type.

Another aim of Fe involves establishing emotional rapport and connection with others. But again, while INTPs may do at fair job at reading others’ emotions, they may fail to actually “feel” what the other person is feeling. This is why INTPs are sometimes described as “outwardly warm, but inwardly cold or calculating.” Fe can be a bit of an act in the first place (e.g., political glad-handing), but this seems particularly commonplace among INTPs and ISTPs. Although casual social engagement may help them feel good for a while, perhaps even give them an ego boost, without sufficient Ti stimulation, it won’t be long before they’re scoping out the nearest exit.

Finally, it’s not unusual for INTPs to oscillate through phases in which they feel they don’t need other people at all. Especially when their work life is running on all cylinders, they can feel invigorated and invincible. But the psyche will only permit this sort of Ti lopsidedness for so long. Eventually, INTPs start feeling a bit lonely or empty, sensing that something important is missing from their lives. This prompts them to reinitiate contact with others, at least until they feel compelled to reassert their independence. Striking a balance between their independence (Ti) and relationships (Fe) can thus constitute a lifelong challenge for this personality type.

that’s all , if you read this far I will love you forever. if you ever want to talk personality shit , here I am

[mental-health-advice]

🏩🏩hello! i rlly just wanted some advice on smth, so basically my dad had to go to the hospital bc something happened w his heart and he ended up having surgery etc. now my parents keep telling me that i shouldnt be making him angry or upset bc he'll die and like, i understand that to an extent but honestly, i feel kind of uncomfortable when they say that because it kind of feels like theyre putting the responsibility on me. my mom told me yesterday that i shouldnt make him upset and that i should change how i am because of that, i really dont know how to feel abt it since i can understand but at the same time i dont. idk to me its like, i dont think it should be on me to regulate another persons emotions though i understand not going out of my way to make him angry, you know? anyways thanks!!!!!

Hey there,

First of all, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad being unwell! This must and must still be a difficult time for you!

Whilst I get where your parents are coming from in trying not to stress out your Dad given his heart problems, I do not think it is fair that your Mum is expecting you to change as a whole in order to make things easier and less stressful for your Dad. I am wondering if there is a way in which you could calmly have a conversation about this to your Mum and let her know that even though you will do what you can to not stress your Dad in the future, that it was unfair of her to expect you to change everything about you and who you are as a person! Maybe you could also ask your Dad for his input and about how he feels about everything that your Mum is putting on you? This would not be too corner your Mum to make her feel bad but to have the conversation between the three of you to make a compromise over what is acceptable for you to do and what isn’t.

I think (and this may not be the case at all) but it sounds like your Mum is just worried and really scared for your Dad and that she will do anything to try to control the situation to help keep him well. Does that make sense? I am sure though that if your Dad was aware of the pressure that your Mum was putting on you that he wouldn’t be OK with that at all. Hence you three sitting down together and talking about all this in a calm manner. Is this something that you think may be helpful?

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way! I also hope that your Dad continues to recover well from surgery and is OK!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[noxiim]

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out 

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

[thestoryweneededtowrite]

spot and race defs get their shit together bc they start sexting as a joke but then realize both of them are SUPER into it

I’m not sure if this is a headcanon or a prompt so yes I support this and also I wrote a thing.

R: I wnt to touch u

The text message came through when Spot was staring angrily athis stack of reading as if that was somehow going to get the job done. Welcomingthe distraction, he scooped up his phone and read the message. The sender almostconfused him more than its content. Tony Higgins, who everyone seemed to callRace for a reason no one could explain. He was in one of Spot’s seminars andthey’d been paired together for a presentation, prompting the exchange of phonenumbers, but beyond that they’d nothing to do with each other. And now Race waspropositioning him? Spot texted back anyway – as weird as this was it was moreentertaining than Derrida.

S: How drunk are youright now?

The reply came almost instantly.

R: 4

R: On a scale 1 to 4

Race’s answer was evident in his poor logic and lack ofgrammar without the need for words. Spot was no stranger to guys who turned queerafter several drinks; it seemed university was full of people who got handsywith whoever was closest regardless of gender after a beer or two. It was finefor anyone straight. They could, and did, just laugh it off the next morning –if they even remembered what had happened at all. But Spot reckoned queer folkshad a lot more to lose by getting together with someone on a night out sincethere was every chance that person might turn around and say they weren’tinterested once they were sober. Spot was pretty such Race was one of thoseguys who just got too affectionate after some alcohol. He wasn’t going to playalong just to be mocked the next day.

S: Go to sleep Race

He hoped the text sounded as final to Race as it did to him,but a few seconds later another reply buzzed.

R: Cnt. At pary

Either Race was currently in a sword fight with someone, orhe was at a party; either was possible from his vague attempts to spell wordscorrectly. Spot decided the latter was probably most likely. He bristled at theidea of his texts being shown around a group of drunk, laughing people and wasglad he’d decided to largely ignore Race’s message. Had he been drunk himself,or had Race been queer, he might have responded in kind. When attractive peoplerandomly sexted you out of nowhere sometimes it was just good sense to go withit. Now was clearly not one of those times.

S: Oh

S: That explains alot

S: This is a dare?

Either alcohol or peer pressure had to be behind this.

R: Had t osext sum1

Clearly it was a little or both, but from the sounds of itRace was message hadn’t been solely concocted by his own brain and some beer.Spot gritted his teeth. He’d hoped uni would be the end of the pranks andteasing and joking around with him because he liked guys. Race seemed like adecent guy, in the little time they’d spent together, and Spot couldn’tunderstand why he’d willingly join in with what amounted to little more thanbullying.

S: And you pickedme…???

R: Random

R: But I’m glad u

Spot stared at the second message when it appeared on hisscreen. The tone seemed to have changed; he would have bet anything that Racehad stepped away from his friends and whatever game he was playing to continuethis conversation. It didn’t seem like something you’d want people reading overyour shoulder for.

S: Right…?

Spot typed back, his fingers shaking ever so slightly. Hewas still determined not to look like he was encouraging this, but he didn’treally want it to end either. Why was Race glad it was his name that had comeup? Because he knew Spot wouldn’t take it seriously, considering it was comingfrom a, presumably, straight guy? Or was there another reason?

R: I do wan to tocuhu

R: Yor’e hot

It took a couple of seconds for Spot to decipher Race’sdrunk texting but once he did he just blinked. And then confusion quicklyturned to bitterness and he tightened his hold on his phone. It was cruel tomock him like that just because he was out and proud. He could imagine Race onthe other side of the conversation, laughing to himself as he drunkenly decidedit was okay to say those things.

Spot typed out three last messages, sending them one afterthe other, before setting his phone aside screen-down and turning over to go tosleep.

S: And you’re drunk

S: Leave me alone

S: Go back to yourparty

  The next day Race woke up far after his lectures had begunand ended. His head was still pounding and everything was a little blurry.Reaching for the headache tablets he kept just beside his bed for time likethese, he swallowed two of them dry. They scratched at his throat as they wentdown but he knew he wouldn’t be able to stand up to get water until he startedto feel a little less ill. To pass the ten minutes he had to wait for thepainkillers to take effect, he grabbed his phone and tried to assess the damageof the night before. Texts and snapchat replies and tweets were usually goodstarting evidence to work out what he’d done. The name at the top of his recentcontacts list chilled him to the bone. CuteIrish Seminar Boy. Otherwise known as Spot Conlon, the infuriating boy withdistracting cheekbones and a smirk that Race swore would have turned him gay ifhe hadn’t already played for both teams. Oh, this was not good. He prayed toany deity he could think of before he opened up the message log.

Reading it through he had to admit it could have been farworse. The truth or dare game came back to him, albeit slightly hazily, and he vaguelyrecalled being happy when it was Spot’s contact that had been chosen for him tosext. He could probably alleviate most of what he’d written by blaming alcoholbut there was still the underlying problem that he’d admitted to attraction. Andfrom Spot’s responses he was hurt by the conversation – that wasn’t how Racewanted to leave things. Swallowing his pride, he typed a quick apology.

R: I’m sry

R: Abt last night

He didn’t know how to go into detail. I’m sorry I hit on you. I’m sorry you were the person I had to text. I’msorry I hurt you?

It was only a second before a little bubble popped up totell him Spot was replying. He held his breath and waited for the dots in thebubble to change into letters, hoping the message wasn’t going to be one ofscorn.

S: Wow

S: You’re almost asbad at texting sober

It broke the tension, if that was what Spot was aiming for.Race managed a small laugh, surprised and relieved when it didn’t result in himwanting to throw up.

R: Shut up

It was a poor reply, but Race didn’t know what else to do.He was leaving the ball in Spot’s court – something that would turn out to beone of the best decisions he’d ever made.

S: So you want totouch me, huh?

S: Didn’t know youswung that way

Race liked where this was going. He wasn’t in the closet,exactly, but he was out on more of a need-to-know basis. Right now it seemedlike there was something intriguing to come of Spot knowing. Race knew he was gay,so if he was interested then… He typed a reply before he could talk himself outof it.

R: I swing evry way

R: & sure

R: U may be a dickbut u r attractive 

It was a couple of minutes before Spot replied and Racemanaged to convince himself that he’d made a huge mistake. He could see thatSpot went to type something several times, but kept deleting it and leaving nothing.When a reply eventually came it was more difficult to interpret than Race wouldhave liked.

S: Thanks I guess

Still, that wasn’t a negative response. And Race figured hehad nothing to lose.

R: I wdn’t say no

 S: Well I might

 R: Wld you?

 S: Are you stilldrunk?

Race snorted. He hadn’t had that much to drink. He was stilla little foggy but his headache was mostly gone and the room had stoppedspinning. If Spot was worried about taking advantage of a drunk guy then theydidn’t have a problem.

R: Hungover, nt drunk

 S: And will you typein English?

 R: Fine

It was an annoying condition to agree to – text speak wasn’tthat hard to understand and it was far quicker to type, Race was adamant – but itseemed like a small price to pay for whatever might be about to happen. Therewas no delay in a reply this time.

S: Then lock yourdoor and take off your clothes

There was a chance this was all a joke. Spot could beleading him on with the intention of humiliating him as retribution for themessages the night before but Race was hungover and he just couldn’t think itthrough without the world starting to tilt. 

R: You serious?

He hoped the question would be enough to give Spot an out tofind some morality if this was all a big joke, but instead he got a far betteranswer. 

S: No Skype no phonecalls no photos, just texts

S: But yeah, I’mserious

S: I need to get off 

Race groaned. Given the choice he’d rather actually get tosleep with Spot but he wasn’t going to turn down the proposition. He wasn’twearing many clothes after the night before, he’d probably find them scatteredacross his room from the door to the bed, but he slipped off his boxers. If hewas going to do this, he was going to do it right.

 R: Same

 S: Clothes off?

 R: Yeah

 S: Tell me whatyou’re doing

Sometimes Race felt like he was in a polyamorous relationshipwith two other people: Spot, and Spot’s job. He was proud and supportive butthat didn’t mean he didn’t miss his boyfriend when he was away on businesstrips that lasted too long and were too frequent. They’d been together forseven years and Race had grown to love the domesticity and comfort – even ifthey’d started as friends-with-benefits who weren’t even really friends.

Thinking back over their relationship made him miss Spoteven more and soon he was subconscious reaching for his phone and sending atext.

R: Hey

Spot knew Race well by now. ‘Hey’ didn’t mean ‘hi’. ‘Hi’would have meant ‘hi’. ‘Hey’ meant ‘I want to talk to you.’ The message he sentback was an answer to the statement Race didn’t even need to say.

S: What’s up?

 R: What are you doingright now?

Spot took a moment to appreciate the fact Race’s text speakhad gotten better over the years before looking around his rather Spartan hotelroom and sighing. He wanted to be home. Meetings were important for his job andhe knew that, but Race was important for his sanity.

S: Prepping for ameeting

It was partly true. It was what he was supposed to be doingbut he was more than grateful for the distraction Race was providing from staringat the ceiling and wishing he wasn’t in a the hotel of a conference centerseveral hours from home.

R: Want to prep forsomething else?

The insinuation seemed clear but they hadn’t done this sincethey’d officially gotten together and Spot wanted to make sure.

S: Race…?

 R: You’re in yourhotel room?

S: Yeah

 R: Lock the door andtake off your pants

The words had Spot grinning. It was what they’d alwaysmessaged each other with years ago when they’d wanted to start something. Hisdoor was already locked and he hadn’t bothered to get dressed that day yet, buthe still appreciated the old phrase. Even though he was far too far away fromRace, it meant him feel closer.

S: What are we doing?

He was being coy at this point. He knew exactly what theywere doing, but Race went along with it anyway.

R: Reminiscing. Forold time’s sake.

That was definitely something Spot could get on board with.