#lesbians can never be normal i fear
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Kiss so good she fucking ascended
#agatha all along spoilers#if you saw this no you didn't#gay but at what cost#lesbians can never be normal i fear#lesbians#agatha x rio#agatha all along#agathario#rio vidal#agatha harkness
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*muttering incoherently while rocking back and forth on the floor of my padded cell, ripping out chunks of my own hair*
jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels jackieshauna elena ferrante parallels
#i haven’t even finished it yet but THE PARALLELS#i’m so normal about them#i would say no spoilers but i fear i already know how this story is going to end and i’m not prepared#tragic toxically codependent and competitive homoerotic female friendships you will always be famous#only one of you can make it out alive but neither of will ever truly make it out#you will never be free of each other#you are tied up in each others blood#in the very fabric of your dna#there is no escape from the toxic lesbian situationships of our youth#elena ferrante#my brilliant friend#elena greco#lenu greco#rafaella cerullo#lila cerullo#shauna shipman#jackie taylor#jackieshauna#jackie x shauna#yellowjackets#shauna sadecki#shaunajackie#shauna yellowjackets#jackie yellowjackets#neapolitan novels#the neapolitan novels#yj#mbf#shauna x jackie#jackie taylor x shauna shipman
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jackieshauna but it's shauna in like 8th grade realising she likes girls AND realising that she's in love with her best friend at the exact same time. staying wide awake during sleepovers, tracing the lines of jackie's face as she sleeps and memorising every single detail. Every crack on her lip, every movement she makes. Feeling perverse and disgusting knowing that what she's doing and how she feels is wrong but still feeling oh so tempted to brush that stray hair out of jackie's face just so she can touch her.
#DHEBJWHDBEJOAISO#shauna i see myself in you#this is a cannon event i fear#13 year old faith was criminally fucking insane over the semi one-sided homoerotic friendship#this is horrifying though genuinely#throwing up#lesbians can never be normal about anything ever!#this came to me in a hungover vision#eating nothing all day and drinking a bottle of wine surprisingly doesn't end well#jackieshauna#shauna shipman#jackie taylor#yellowjackets#yellowjackets headcanons
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When Cog summons her wings, they come to her easy as breathing. The shadows around her gather at her back and unfurl into feather-light, barely corporeal raven wings- black as night and held together by magic. Cog asks for her wings, and they materialize for her.
Acedia's wings rip from her back, tearing open the skin between her shoulder blades and sending rivulets of hot blood running down her spine. Her back hunches, her shoulders jerking, and as the wings unfold it's clear that every moment of it is intensely painful. The wings themselves are a mockery of a willowy tree, once draped with vines and moss, now skeletal branches.
Cog's wings are a gift from a god who grew to love her like a daughter. They're a part of her, just like the rest of her magic.
Acedia's wings are everything she's perverted and betrayed, a pointed reminder of her place from the god she sold her soul to.
#i am! cleaning out my drafts! hooray! 🎉🎉#(please read those party horns as the sound telly makes in chibi robo when you go up a rank. it's celebratory but a little pathetic)#throwback to the ace/aceida fight where acedia summoned her wings and ace shook off the fear effect and said:#'...eh. I like when cog does it better' KING#wasteland campaign#mine#cog#acedia#bekahdoesnerdshit does meta#alternate title: hey bekah can you make a wasteland character who DOESN'T have wings. and the answer is no 💖#this is a PREVIEW of the (post i'm never gonna write at this point lbr) about how cog and acedia are SUCH good foils#i can't even take credit for that one it was on accident i just wanted a hot evil lesbian paladin#like. they've both sworn themselves blindly to a power they didn't fully understand. and cog is continually rewarded for her faith#and acedia is continually punished for hers.#they both made their pacts to have power to protect what they love; can we really crucify acedia just bc her world is smaller than cog's??#cog wanted to save the whole world. acedia just wanted to save her friends and her home. I think they had more in common than they knew#ANYWAY thanks for reading I love you. I'll never be normal about wasteland and that is a Warning and a Threat#💖💖💖
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loser abby.. i beg and plead
ʕ ��ᴥꈍʔ 100% projecting here again because i am VERY experienced in being a loser lesbian… heh… i think loser!abby is more awkward instead of shy (it’s actually canon) so i’m sorry if this gives you a little bit of secondhand embarrassment…. (i swear hope it’s not too bad)
loser!abby who you first meet in the stadium library. you’ve had your eyes on her for a while, sure, but she never talked to anyone. you’ve heard through the grapevine that apparently she was single, but for someone who looks that good? you didn’t buy it.
you try striking up a conversation with her, just some small talk, but she completely dodges all of your questions about her personal life. instead, she talks your ear off for about an hour about the stadium’s dogs.
it’s almost painful, the way you nod and smile like you know what she’s talking about. like the epic time when alice ripped a chunk out of this big guys bicep, or when bear did a backflip for the first time during training. she doesn’t even notice that you’ve stopped paying attention, completely ignores every flirtatious remark with a “thanks! you’re too sweet.”
she stands up and leaves, saying “anyways, i’d better check on manny. catch ya later!” you sit and stare off into space for a few minutes. what the hell was that? she won’t answer questions about her workout routines or patrol routes, but she’ll sit and jabber about fucking dogs? and “catch ya later”? who the fuck says that anymore?
loser!abby who you see later that night sitting at a cafeteria table laughing and chatting with her friends. her hair is down for once, wet and slightly darkened from her shower. she looks like a fucking goddess like this. she could have any girl in this whole base on their knees in a second, if only she’d act like it.
you take a seat next to her, deliberately running your hands over her heavily muscled biceps. “hi!” she lights up. “i was just thinking about you.” this almost flusters you. almost. but you know she didn’t mean it in a flirtatious way.
abby’s friends are actually super sweet. they fill you in on any inside jokes you haven’t picked up on yet, gossip about stadium drama, laugh at cheesy puns, etc.
you’re having a great time until abby tells one of her own jokes. she’s laughing so hard she can barely get the words out, and what she manages to say is stupid and nonsensical. you look around at everyone in the group to see if maybe you’re the only one who doesn’t get it, but they have the same confused-but-pleasantly-humored look on their faces.
a few more months of this awful one-sided craving continues. well, technically it’s two-sided, but abby never shows it. how were you supposed to know?
she does countless more things to embarrass herself in front of you. some less embarrassing than others, like when she spilled an entire ammo box full to the brim with 1,000 bullets. and some more embarrassing, like when she got so drunk that she couldn’t walk straight, and it took 5 people to pick her up and haul her squirming body back to bed. in front of you.
but it’s all so adorable to you. the sweet pink blush that spreads over her cheeks when she realizes that she just ruined the mood for everyone. or the nervous way she twiddles her thumbs before each patrol, fearing she’ll slip up and never come home.
loser!abby who is completely taken aback when you cut the shit and admit that you like her. it goes something like this…
“o…kay? i like you too, that’s why we’re friends.”
“no, cmon, abby. you know what i meant.”
“you like me? like that? i don’t understand why.”
“because! haven’t you noticed me flirting with you for the past eight months? you think it’s normal for me to tell you that i’m in love with you? do your other friends do that?”
“well, no. but i thought you were just being friendly. and don’t you think i’m kind of an idiot? why would you wanna be with a loser like me when you could find someone cooler?”
“i don’t want someone cooler, abby, i want you.” and you smash your lips against hers before she can respond. she doesn’t really know what to do, she just leans in and let’s you take the lead.
when you pull away, she’s beet red. her eyes are huge and— is that a tear? your heart swells at this, grabbing her tightly and pulling her into a bear hug.
“i like you, too.” she says. “what does this make us?”
you smile and place a small peck on the tip of her nose. “will you be my girlfriend? or is that too friendly for you…”
#was gonna make this longer but i desperately need to lock in on brat challenge#might continue this tho… she’s such a cutie#abby anderson#abby anderson tlou2#abby anderson x female reader#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson headcanons#abby anderson fluff#abby the last of us#abby tlou
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Synastry observations 🫀
Someone’s Venus in your 7th house means you view the Venus person as your ideal partner. You may have not known what you wanted in a partner until you met this person. 7th house person catches feelings fast.
When someone’s Mars lands in your 1st house you can view the Mars person as being annoying.
Having your moon in someone’s 8th house can be very one sided especially on the moons part. I’ve been both the moon & the 8th house person. Being the moon person can make you scary obsessed with the 8th house person & make you very controlling over house they express themselves. As the 8th house person I only felt a mild attraction to the moon.
Mars conjunct Venus synastry is the best aspect for sexual attraction hands down (especially if man had mars and woman had Venus)
Sun square moon synastry can become drawn to each-other like magnets & can be attracted to each-other due to opposite qualities. This can become a big problem in the long term because those differences that once made you attracted to them can make u repulsed once the honey moon stage is done. Have to learn a lot of compromising to make this work.
Lilith square Venus shows that the Lilith person can use the Venus person for sex ☹️ even tho the Venus person wants something deeper eventually. Very toxic relationship.
Lilith conjunct ascendant in synastry will have the Lilith person acting out of character. Usually theirs always something taboo or forbidden about this relationship (ex; big age gap, one is married, lesbian/gay relationship etc) whatever it is it’s not seen as “acceptable” so this can lead to a secret relationship. Lilith person if married will ruin the marriage just to be with the ascendant. Will want to touch and stare at the ascendant person A LOT. It’s almost like it’s painful for the Lilith person to be apart from the ascendant person physically. This can either scare the ascendant person or attract them. Be careful as the Lilith person you becomes really obsessed.
I notice with Venus opposite someone’s Ascendant the Venus person views the ascendant as extremely physically attractive while the ascendant person usually only has a mild attraction to Venus. But once they get to know each other the ascendant person will start to feel deeply attracted to the Venus . Relationship that gets better with time 👌🏽
Moon square moon in synastry never really work out. This synastry is what you think of when you think Sam and Ron from Jerseys shore lol. Very attracted to each-other but cannot understand each-other emotions which causes constant bickering. Takes a lot of acceptance and communication to work. One or both may never feel deeply understood or feel judged.
When you see Pluto square ascendant in synastry. RUN. This can be a very dangerous placement if the partners aren’t mature especially Pluto. The Pluto person can be scary obsessed and controlling with the ascendant. The Pluto person usually isn’t aware of their own behavior but if not put in check can become very abusive and manipulative towards the ascendant. The Pluto person can become extremely jealous and vindictive if they see the ascendant bonding too closely to someone else. Pluto wants to completely possess the ascendant. In some cases it’s left the ascendant with terrible trauma.
Saturn in 8th house synastry shows a lot of sexual tension that can’t be expressed right away for some reason. Leads to repressed intimacy because of certain circumstances or fears of rejection.
It’s very difficult to be mean to someone you have a sun/Venus synastry with. (Especially trine & conjunction) with this synastry aspect you truly love each others whole being, known as a “true love” aspect. You can let your partner get away with things you normally wouldn’t let anyone else get away with 😏
When you have Venus in someone’s 1st house you’ve probably been told you look aesthetically good together. Your physical appearance just fit perfectly (eg: Barbie & Ken)
You haven’t experienced a soul mate connection until you had a sun conjunct moon synastry. I know this placement is talked about everywhere but it’s so true!! Finding this person feels like coming home finally🥺 if it’s in a double whammy either (another conjunction or opposition) it can be hard for others to split you guys up because of how close you get! Be careful for clinginess especially on the moon persons part.
If you have Saturn square mercury with someone you can find their humor to be very dry & boring.
Venus in Scorpios are very attracted to Pisces suns.
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Man, this pisses me off so bad. If you're a woman who relates more to males than other women, it's because you've decided to focus more on how you're different from other women rather than how you're like them. You will literally never have more in common with males, and males do not feel the same way about you. These cute little posts that you write about how you love males more than your fellow women? They do not write the same thing about you. They hate and mock you constantly. Anyone remember "Cis women need to shut up"
"As a cis woman, I agree"
"You need to shut up, specifically"
?
Yea, that's how they feel about you and your solidarity.
The difference between lesbians and trans women in female spaces is the fact that lesbians do not have high rates of violence. There is no group of women that outclass men in terms of violent tendencies. Trans women retain the rates of male violence that regular men do. I'm not saying you have to treat trans women like they're all violent beasts, but if you can't see why female people would be uncomfortable with male people in their spaces, you're either naive or genuinely unsympathetic towards the very real fear that women have of being subjected to male violence. You can't say trans women and lesbians are similar because, unlike males, there is no statistical evidence that lesbians are highly likely to take advantage of a woman. If it turned out that 98% of rapes were committed by lesbians, I would 1000% understand why straight women don't fucking want to be around me. Have some fucking empathy, holy fucking shit. Even if you are completely on board with trans women being in female spaces, at LEAST acknowledge that it makes sense for women to be concerned about who is allowed in their spaces. It's crazy how I could tell someone I have a fear of dogs because one bit me when I was a kid, and they'd put their sweet pooch up, but God forbid a woman be cautious around a demographic who commit 90% of all violent crime. Oh no. That woman is suddenly a terf bitch.
I have nothing in common with trans women. I don't care how much pain they have experienced. We are not the same. When I was twelve, I cried and I cried as I put my palms together to pray to a God I hoped would be able to take away my homosexuality. I didn't even grow up in a particularly homophobic family. Both of my parents were accepting of me, but I still sat in the dark of my room, tears streaming down my face, as I prayed to have my sexuality changed.
Two years later, one of my friends made a joke about me dressing to impress my crush. She said my crushes name---a feminine name. A girl sitting in earshot heard her, turned to me, and asked me with disgust if I was gay. I said no without even thinking about it. It absolutely did not help that we were in a locker room with other girls. I was aware of my sexuality by that point, but I was 14 and unable to hold my own against a girl looking at me like THAT. For a few weeks after that, that girl made comments about how she was "watching me".
I know pain, I know discomfort, I know what it's like to feel predatory. Seeing feminine women, especially if they're white, makes me feel like an alien. I look at them and think "how are we so different? I see none of myself in you."
Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes we're not similar at all. But guess what? That doesn't mean I'm similar to a straight male. Fucking hell, sometimes I'm not similar to other lesbians. That's completely normal. I think OP needs to read better work by cishet women. If you think that there is not a single piece of cishet female writing that can move you more than something written by a male, you're not looking in the right places at all. I don't understand why some LB women seem to think that the very act of someone being a straight woman makes them incapable of relatability. Of course it makes sense for you to be cautious. Lesbians deal with a lot of alienation and predatory feelings, but if the very ACT of a woman being cis and straight makes you feel like she has absolutely nothing in common with you...? The issue lies with you. YOU are the one othering THEM. Not the other way around. You're the one who has decided that a few cis straight women othering you means that they ALL will so you'd better beat them to the punch. You're the one who has decided that your relationship to womanhood is so astronomically different from straight women that nothing they say speaks to you. That's INSANE. Do you realize how much you have to alienate yourself from womanhood to feel more relatability with a male person than a female one? Idk how to tell you this, but it is highly probable that the most cis, most het woman you have ever met has had a period. It's highly likely she's been harassed by a man. It's highly likely she's been made to feel inferior by way of being born female. No, they can't relate to the experience of being a lesbian who is made to feel predatory for no reason, but to say that nothing a cis het woman says/experiences can move you at all? Nothing they say can make you feel like your experience with womanhood and hers are similar? Do you realize how you sound? "Trans women have been harassed by men and made to feel inferior, too!!" Okay! So you should be able to relate to cis women in the way you do trans women, right?
I told my discord server that I was nervous about my future roommates. I showed them photos and someone said "all this tells me is that they're feminine and white" and I literally think about that all of the time. I was projecting. I was so scared that these white, feminine, probably straight women were going to judge me for being a black lesbian that I didn't even realize that I was the one violently judging them based off of nothing but their skin color and their femininity. I knew nothing about them. I STILL know nothing about them. I've barely spoken to them. But already I had labeled them as unrelatable judgemental women because of how they looked. Hold on. Wasn't I the one afraid of them judging ME? How could I be so afraid of them judging me for being a black lesbian when I was the one judging them already? What sense does that make?
You guys are so busy writing off cis straight women as unrelatable bigots that you've failed to see that you're the one who is extremely prejudiced against them. And I absolutely fucking know someone is gonna read this and say "well, you can't say that all trans women have male violence patterns and dahdahdahdah" and it's like. But YOU can say that cis straight women are so unbelievably different from lesbian women that you'd rather say you're more similar to a straight up fucking male???
I'm not saying it's not a little jarring to see women who are so different from me. I'm not saying I haven't been burned before and there's no reason for me (or other lesbians) to be cautious. But I will literally ALWAYS have more in common with cishet women than I ever will a man pretending to be a woman.
One time I had a professor. She was on the older side (I'd say 40's) and white. Not the type of person I'd think I'd click well with. She was straight and married with children. One day we talked after class, and the only thing that ended our conversation was the fact she had an event she had to go to. We would've talked longer if not for that. She emailed me a little while later to tell me that she enjoyed our chat. After that, she actually hugged me on two occasions. You wouldn't think we'd have common ground. An older, straight, married white mother and a young black lesbian. Both of us are "cis" but I can tell you I relate to her much better than I ever could someone born male.
I once had a personal trainer who was a feminine woman. She had acrylic nails and everything. One time she said that she couldn't hug her male friends anymore because she had a boyfriend (he wasn't the one enforcing that rule. That was something she personally felt). Also not someone I thought I'd click well with. But we did. One time we had a really productive discussion that was actually derived from the conversation with my professor. I felt very close to her in that moment. Our conversation came to a close because she had another client, but I still think about that convo.
There have been so many fucking times where I thought "this woman is not like me. Look at her." But what I realized was that I was the judgmental one. I was the one deciding we were different, not her. I was the one writing her off. I was the one convinced we had nothing in common.
I am BEGGING you not to alienate your fellow women. There are no inherent traits that make you unable to relate to other women. No amount of whiteness or cisness or straightness can make a woman completely unreachable. I am NOT talking about political parties or views so don't fucking try me with that shit. Obviously that puts a wedge between people, but someone simply being born cis and het does not make them alien from you. For God's sake, look at the fucking MeToo movement. Women from all fucking backgrounds who share an experience that an unfortunate amount of women go through. Women from all different races, sexualities, etc. who came together to talk about how they've been subjected to sexual violence. Ellen degeneres was one of them. How does that fit into your "lesbians and cishet women cannot relate to each other" spiel?
OP's post has 130k notes and it makes me fucking sick. Holy crap y'all, we need more solidarity than this. Other women are not your enemy. I'm begging you to reconsider your approach to women who are different than you. You are missing out on people who can love and support you in a way that literally no male can. You are depriving yourself. Just because a few cishet women in the past alienated you, does not mean that you have to continue their legacy. Let it go. Everyone on earth can see you embracing your hatred of women, and you wonder why your fellow women never hug you? They fucking can't! Put your hatred down and make space for the love that comes with realizing that you absolutely are like other girls!
#You guys think you're so progressive but you're just in a woke version of not like other girls#Stop comparing lesbians to literal males#Jesus fucking Christ#I actually hate you guys so fucking much#I'm never telling anyone I'm gay every again bro#I hate all of you#I should've prayed to be asexual man#Maybe god would've taken me more seriously
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Why LGBTQ+ Representation Matters (And Why It’s Not Too Much to Ask)
LGBTQ+ representation matters. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice if LGBTQ+ characters were more than just a rarity? If they were given the same depth, care, and attention as other characters instead of being reduced to stereotypes or sidelined to the background?
Representation isn’t about “taking over” the media landscape. It’s about reflecting the world we actually live in, a world where LGBTQ+ people exist, thrive, and have meaningful, diverse experiences. Seeing that reality reflected on-screen or in a book is powerful, not just for us in the LGBTQ+ community but for everyone. It normalizes the fact that, hey, queer people are just people, and that’s really not a big deal.
For those who think seeing a gay or trans character is somehow upsetting or “too much,” let’s break it down a little further. Imagine growing up and watching all your favorite movies and shows but never seeing a single character that truly reflects who you are. Imagine feeling like your existence is either taboo, a punchline, or just doesn't exist. That’s the reality a lot of LGBTQ+ kids grow up with. And even as adults, it’s exhausting to keep being told, either directly or indirectly, that our stories aren’t “mainstream” enough to matter.
Now, think about how validating it is when you do see someone like you portrayed in a meaningful, authentic way. Suddenly, you don’t feel so alone. You don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you. It’s a reminder that your story has value, too.
And it’s not just about representation for us. It’s for everyone else, too. When people outside the LGBTQ+ community see more diverse characters and stories, it breaks down stereotypes and helps create understanding. It challenges assumptions like “all gay men are flamboyant” or “all lesbians are masculine.” When media shows us without only using the stereotypes, and instead as people with complex emotions, relationships, and lives, it helps the world see us for what we really are: human.
And let’s be honest: representation doesn’t hurt anyone. No one’s forcing you to watch a show with a trans protagonist or a movie where the love story is between two women. But their existence shouldn’t be a big deal either. If you’re okay with countless rom-coms about straight couples or action movies where the straight man gets with the straight woman, why is it a problem if the hero happens to be queer? If seeing a gay or trans character makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s time to ask yourself why. Because the truth is, they’re just living their lives—on-screen and off—like everyone else.
When we have better LGBTQ+ representation, we create a world where kids can grow up seeing that it’s okay to be themselves. We create a space where ignorance and fear are replaced with understanding and compassion. And isn’t that something worth striving for?
At the end of the day, it’s not about making everything gay. It’s about making media a little more real, a little more inclusive, and a lot more human.
#lgbt#clexa#lgbt books#lgbt history#lgbt pride#lgbtq#lgbtq community#lgbtq positivity#lgbtq rights#lgbtqia#supercorp#transmasc#transfem#trans pride#transgender#queer pride#pride#gay pride#pride month#gay#lesbian#bisexual#non binary#nonbinary#genderfluid
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laura s. brown, from lesbians, weight, and eating: new analyses and perspectives, from lesbian psychologies: explorations and challenges, edited by the boston lesbian psychologies collective, 1987
["Lesbian fat activists, a non-client population, seemed to be women who are comfortable with their lesbianism. My lesbian clients who are fat, although not necessarily activists, seem to be generally unconcerned about their weight and are for the most part physically active women who perceive themselves as healthy and attractive. I have noticed a relationship between healing from homophobia and reduction of negative self-concept where weight is concerned. For example, a lesbian client who entered therapy from a position of great internalized homophobia could not comfortably say the word 'lesbian' and avoided associating with other lesbians. Her weight was greater than average for her height, although within the norms for women in her family: she consciously perceived her fat as one of the indicators of her lesbianism and her undesirability as a person. Therapy focused on issues of internalized homophobia as it affected self-concept and interpersonal functioning. However, a side effect of the therapy was that this woman came to embrace her lesbianism in a more positive manner, she also began to see herself as attractive at her current weight. She changed her hairdo so that her face, which she had previously stigmatized as looking fat, and had tried to hide with her hair, would be more visible. She also purchased clothing in bright colors that she had always liked but had avoided buying for fear of bringing attention to her "fat, unattractive" body. She took up exercise, which she had loved as a girl but abandoned after puberty as her body assumed its (apparently) genetically determined larger size. She became active in the lesbian community and often commented in therapy sessions about her amazement that there were so many attractive women who were also fat. Her relationship with food also changed: she began to be more careful about what she put into her body, and paid better attention to foods that left her feeling uncomfortable and off center, rather than simply to caloric content.
Such anecdotal and clinical observations must be made cautiously because the empirical data is sparse. The trends that I and my colleagues have observed clinically when we consciously attend to the relationship between homophobia and fat oppression are suggestive. They point to some directions that lesbians and therapists, and therapists who work with lesbians, may wish to consider in working with lesbian clients around issues of food, eating, and body image and size.
It is essential for therapists to examine internalized myths of fat oppression as we apply them to ourselves and our clients. Do we, for instance, assume that fat women are fat because they are eating in an out-of-control manner? Do we assume that women who are not fat are not concerned with their weight and are eating in ways that are healthy and functional simply because the result is one of normal size? Do we accept the ego-dystonic nature of a woman's fat as proof of the need to lose weight, or do we ask the same questions that are not asked about so-called ego-dystonic homosexuality as a diagnosis? Do we secretly envy women with bulimia because "they can eat as much as they want and it never shows"? Do we fat-oppress ourselves by shaming ourselves about our own pleasure in food or by engaging in self-punitive actions such as compulsive dieting? Do we fat-oppress fat women by assuming that they want suggestions about diets, or by telling them "I feel fat, too"— pretending empathy with the real-world aspects of discrimination against fat women by virtue of our own participation in the process of fat oppression? When we hear lesbians derided as fat and ugly, do we protest that "we're not all fat," or do we examine carefully the relationship between the devaluation of fat women and the devaluation of lesbians? Until and unless the therapist examines and changes her own internalized fat oppression, she is likely to fat-oppress her clients, in either overt or covert manners.
In re-examining our fat oppressive norms, we must also make the personal connections to our internalized homophobia and from there, to the misogyny that lies at the basis of them both. A woman who nurtures herself with food, and who does so without guilt, shame, and self-hate has challenged a very basic message given women against feeling worthy of love and sustenance. A lesbian who loves herself and her love of other women and does so without guilt, shame, and self-hate breaks another such rule, that of compulsory heterosexuality. A woman who is spending time and energy on her own pleasure by feeding herself lovingly, by using the resources available to her, by taking as much space as her body grows into, is as clearly revolutionary as is the woman who loves, values, and commits her energies to the love of women. It is quite natural and healthy for women to rebel against the woman-hating inherent in both fat-oppression and homophobia. So-called "eating-disordered" women are the most obvious causalities of that battle. The struggle to be able to stay thin enough while still eating enough to satisfy hunger is often manifested in the alternative bouts of bingeing, purging, and laxative abuse found in bulimia, or in the swings between compulsive stuffing and compulsive dieting found in other women who feel too fat."]
#laura s. brown#the boston lesbian psychologies collective#lesbian literature#cw disordered eating#cw weight mention#transcribed
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Can you please please please have one where Leah is the reader's lesbian awakening? Like... No no the reader is totally straight, she is just... Always staring longingly at girls whenever she's not paying attention, that's totally platonic and straight tho! And sure,she never finds any guys attractive but could gush about girls all day long but that is just because girls are so much prettier... In a platonic way, of course.
And there is absolutely no reason why reader was so reluctant to give Leah back her jacket... Or the fact she unconsciously snuggled into it after someone pointed out as a joke that it looked like a claim.
This, this is totally straight... (It is in fact, very much not straight)
I don’t think you realise how close to home this has hit for me.
Like - CLOSE to home.
As a lesbian myself - this is a cannon event, I can not step in.
Like imagine this for a second;
You’re around the bonfire with Leah’s hoodie wrapped around you; and it just smells so much like her and the more you cuddle in the more it smells like her right?
And that’s like completely normal friendship shit
You’re sniffing her hoodie, like any other pal would
And you’re trying to be so subtle about it at first, but as the night wears on and the fire starts to fill your nostrils and cling to the warm clothing, you have to really fight to chase that Leah smell
So by this point you’re pretty much huffing her collar to get any Leah remnants.
“ if you went to kiss her just kiss her” i feel like it would be either Paul or Jake, everyone’s noticed your not so platonic feelings for Leah but nobody dares mention it other than those two jokers
“ what are you even talking about” you’re instantly defensive and that’s how they know they have you
“ it’s just so obvious that you love her, that’s all” they would say, looking around the others for confirmation, but everyone else is too scared to agree, they all see it but they also have a valid fear of angry Leah Clearwater
“Of course I love her, she’s my best friend” it’s a lie and you know it, because although she IS your best friend - you know you love her in a way you don’t love your other friends.
As in, in the way that you want to feel her warm lips against yours, to taste her breath in your mouth.
Which is crazy because you’re completely not into girls.
I mean there was that girl in summer camp who used to play with your hair and it would give you full body tingles
And there was also the fact that everytime you slept with a boy it felt like an out of body experience, and not the good kind.
And if you’re completely honest with yourself; there is the fact that you once went skinny dipping with Leah while drunk and you think about it every time you’re in the shower.
You’re chewing over these suppressed ideas and feelings with such concentration that you miss the sad look in Leah’s eyes when she is again labled just the best friend.
To Leah, none of this is obvious.
In your recollection of summer camp, the girl is just that, just a friend.
You sleeping with men is just that, you sleeping with men.
And she sure remembers skinny dipping with you, but she doesn’t know that you cling to it the same way she does on late night when she should be asleep.
And so on the walk back, she asks you; because she can’t keep it in any longer,
“ do you really think kissing me would be that bad?”
You almost laugh, but you catch yourself before you do, because there’s so much uncertainty in her voice and when you dare to look at her face, you can see such strong vulnerability behind her fake half smile.
And in that moment you realise, maybe it is worth the risk.
What’s a kiss between friends?
I mean girls do it all the time right?
So you turn around to face her, you take a step closer - not missing how she loses a full breath at your boldness.
And you kiss her.
It’s not much more than a peck on the lips, all you have the confidence for.
It’s just long enough for her to taste whats left of the lip gloss you applied earlier that night.
Just long enough for you to feel the softness of her plush lips against your own.
And then you back away, as if burned.
Your brain suddenly catches up with the rest of your body
And oh my fucking GOD, did you actually just kiss LEAH
What were you thinking?
You start to gather an apology, her wild eyes searching yours for some kind of confirmation that you did actually just do that
Before you can even get the words out she’s on you, faster than what should be humanly possible.
Her hands are on your cheeks and her lips are on yours, but this time it’s not a peck.
It’s years of hidden glances, stolen touches and late night fantasies rolled into one.
Your lips part in a gasp, or a moan? You’re not sure
And she takes the chance to slip her tongue into your mouth, her taste consuming all of your senses.
Your body goes limp, your hands grasping out to cling to her so you don’t fall, landing in her hair and knotting into her dark locks.
Her hands move from your cheeks, one on your hip and one on your back to keep you secure.
And if your brain was able to think of anything other than Leah in that moment, you would probably reach the realisation that
This is not how straight girls kiss
#twilight saga#imagine#twilight#imagines#quileute#leah clearwater#leah clearwater headcannon#leah clearwater x y/n#leah clearwater x reader
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Wowoawiw happy lesbian day
Anyways here’s some writing I have for an au :3 (it’s like a reverse corpse bride thingy but with my hcs so tfem Floyd x tfem riddle)
Also I’m very open to criticism so any criticism would be appreciated
Floyd sat down on the balcony, staring down at all the people who were passing by. All she could think about was the events that have occurred for the past days.
And today was the most happiest day of her life. A wedding was to come and the bride was happy too! It took a while for Riddle to adjust, but Riddle soon realized that she was here to stay. The moment she figured it out, she gave Floyd a big hug while crying in her arms.
That was around two hours ago, and here she was now leaning against the balcony’s railing lost in thought again.
“You know, when you had proposed to me, I never expected this as an outcome.” Floyd turned her head to see Riddle next to her as if she had teleported. Did corpses have teleportation powers actually? I mean if they could talk and come to life, perhaps they did have some powers? Ah, probably something to be answered for another time.
“Whad’dya mean?” Floyd tilted her head in confusion.
“I mean…” Riddle sighed, rubbing her temples as if frustrated. “Most, if not all who have proposed have ran away from me. Always screaming about how some monster tried to get them to marry them, crying about the ‘dead rising’ and whatnot.”
“Aww, whatta buncha losers.” The taller one let out a laugh as she spoke.
*Riddle blew on the strand of hair lying on her face, before tucking it back behind a maggot eaten ear.* “I suppose so. I still have no clue on why you stick around, of course.”
Floyd’s expression changed from neutral to worried. “What? Why?
“I had expected it to be the normal affair of having to deal with someone running off in fear and an attempt to try to escape the underworld.” Riddle turned her head to face down on the people passing by. “But you stayed, and you were even enthusiastic to marry me. Why is that?”
Floyd let out a nervous laugh, fidgeting slightly with her hands. This was an unexpected sight as she had normally presented herself with a rather relaxed and confident persona. Seeing her fidget nervously at a simple question was something unexpected. “W-Well… you were the one nice enough to approach me.”
Riddle turned her head back to Floyd.
“I mean, no one ever really approaches me like that. Everyone always thinks of me as some scary monster or they hate me…I really don’t have anyone to bond with or who can tolerate me.”
She took a deep, shaky breath. “Yer basically one of the few who isn’t scared of me. Even if it’s just your curse or whatever, I still appreciated that.”
Floyd turned a violent shade of red as she quickly looked away in embarrassment. “Ah, you don’t need all that sappy shit right now I’m sorry.”
“You? Scary?” Riddle let out a giggle, to which Floyd whipped her head back to look at her. “I’m sorry, but there’s no way people have found you scary. I mean I found it worrying at first that someone’s willing to stay within the underworld, but I would never classify you as ‘scary’. You’re more of a big dog in my eyes, especially with how excited you seem to be at the prospect of spending time with me. And honestly, that aspect of you is one I find extremely adorable.”
Adorable?
Adorable?
That was never a word used to describe Floyd and her mannerisms.
Slowly, tears started rolling down her cheeks as Riddle kept going on about the little quirks she found adorable about Floyd when they first met, calling them all sorts of things, ones that Floyd knows that were never used to describe them in the past.
No one has ever shown her this amount of love at all, no one ever looked at her and didn’t think to keep away and steer clear of her. Riddle seemed to be the only one who never saw her as “scary” or “dangerous”.
Riddle took notice and wrapped her arms around Floyd, pulling her into a hug as she kept telling her how she’s adorable and how she’s thankful she stayed this long. Her voice was mixed with Floyd’s sniffles and sobs as she caressed the girl’s hair.
The two stayed like this for a few more hours.
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even if I die screaming // elliexreader
CHAPTER 2: To Someone Special
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
chapter 1 | chapter 3 | AO3 gets it first
content warnings/tags: subtle homophobia; friends to lovers; christmas love.
notes: hello again, buddies! <3 chapter two is here, thank you for the notes! let me know in the comments in case anyone wants to be tagged in chapter 2 btw
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
"Every second counts, I don't wanna watch tv anymore"
— Bags, Clairo
December 24, 2038 Winter
Dear diary,
Christmas is FINALLY coming up! I've always been a big time Christmas girl but this year it's extra special: Ellie suddenly realized she would not self-combust if she showed up at one of my Christmas parties just once! Well, it's not exactly a party. Mama's gonna be on patrol on the 25th, so I called Ellie, Dina and Jesse over to watch some movies. Dina and Jesse decided they'd spend the holiday with the boy's parents this year for once and Ellie, I believe, felt pitiful and decided to come by.
I like her. She can be closed off, but she's fun. Cat said she is easy to like when she makes a bit of effort. They had a fight last week and I think I saw them kiss once, maybe twice. Mama's not the biggest fan of Ellie, she says she "doesn't think that's normal". How does she fight literal zombies every week and her biggest fear is a lesbian?
Gonna do some baking now. Hope Ellie likes pie.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
I placed some blankets on the couch and put the best holiday movie I could find next to the player. Our house was always incredibly tidy, I can't stand dusty places. I lit a candle and put the star I made myself on top of the pine. I'm committed to having a Christmas tree every single year, it doesn't matter how hard I find to bring it inside by myself. To me, it's a glimpse of what life was before the outbreak, and I also realized that my mom finds some sense of normalcy in these things. In a world like this, we lack some tradition. My kitchen timer rings and I run to the oven, the apple pie I've made looks great. I carefully take it off the heat and place it on the counter.
"It's a blizzard out here!" I hear some knocking on the door. "I am about to freeze to death!" I walk to the door to find Ellie all bundled up, her tiny nose red from the cold, the calluses on her fingers covered by navy blue wool.
"Come on in, sorry for the waiting", I reply as I brush some of the snow off her shoulders. She enters the house, a thankful gaze as she sees the lit fireplace. The girl takes off some layers of clothing along with her shoes, sitting on the couch.
"You should stop wearing sneakers on the snow, your feet are soaked", I threw her a blanket. "You're gonna get a cold."
She scoffs, "Well, if I ever do I know that I can count on ya' as my doctor", a slight smirk present on her face, still red from the low temperature. I smile and roll my eyes at her, maybe slightly blushed, 'cause my face definitely feels hot.
I cut each of us a piece of pie and joined her on the couch. “You like Christmas movies?” I smirk. Of course she does, who doesn’t like Christmas movies? Well, I am quickly surprised by her, who admits she’s never watched one.
“I’ve never really been into Christmas n' shit”, Ellie shrugs her shoulders, “not really any holidays at all.”
I look at her, mouth wide open in disbelief. How does one live without ever watching Home Alone? “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do”, I exclaimed, excitedly. I get up from the couch and run over to my dvd shelf. A few seconds later I came back with three more movies for us to watch.
Our plan was to watch all the movies this afternoon but we soon lost focus. We talked for hours while “A Nightmare Before Christmas” repeatedly played in the background, we kept hitting “restart”, saying we were gonna actually watch it this time. Instead, we discussed the simplest of things, drinking tea and sharing Stevie and her warm fur on our laps.
“Okay, I am not saying they're all dead”, Ellie’s out of breath laugh filled the room. To me, it seemed brighter all of a sudden, as if we had lit the third homemade scented candle of the day. “It’s just a probability, we wouldn’t even know”, she continued.
I threw my head back, laughing. “At least they’re voice actors, it wouldn’t be as weird. Could you imagine running into an infected that looked just like the girl from Pulp Fiction?” I shook my head, trying to erase the thought. “I think I’d pass out.” She laughed while shaking her head.
“You really do not like to fight, do you?” She grinned, teasingly.
“I don’t think anyone does”, I replied. “Would you still do something like this if we were born before the outbreak?”
She nodded her head “no” without hesitating. I raised my eyebrow, wondering if she was going to elaborate. A moment later, Ellie continues: “Astronaut, I’d like to be an astronaut, maybe a musician.”
I smiled softly, she seemed to have previously thought about this. After a while I, too, respond: “I would like to be a writer, perhaps a teacher. I really like kids.”
I could see in her eyes that had softened her demeanor. She looked into the floor, smiling. “I think you’d be a great teacher, you’re all bubbly and… fucking gentle”, she stated.
I looked into her, my eyes whispering “is that bad?”. She then gave me a smile that, to me, said “not at all”. Her slow approach asked “can I come close?” My worried gaze declared “this isn’t right”, but the sudden free will of my hands shouted a crystal clear “I object”. My left hand touched her right,I could finally feel the warmth of her fingertips. A good liar could pretend it was only a distasteful accident but I am as true as the sky is blue, so I trace the patterns on her index finger with mine until I could find rest in her palm.
Ellie moved her hand, she was going to hold mine with her palm. My heart is filled with anxiety when, as subtle as a lightning in a dark room, my mom bursts the front door open. “Merry Christmas”, she yells across the room to us with her welcoming smile. I don’t think it was honest.
Some minutes later, Ellie decided it was time for her to go. Mama insisted she took a piece of pie for Joel, so she did. The cold hugged my body as I opened the door for her and she quickly disappeared into the same blizzard she came from.
#ellie x reader#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie x fem reader#the last of us#ellie x y/n#the last of us fanfiction#ao3 fanfic#ao3 link#ao3#archive of our own#sapphic#fanfic#the last of us 2#the last of us part 2#christmas au#even if i die screaming
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Velvet & Veneer Headcanons Pt. 3
(If you notice inconsistencies between posts it is because I use google translate. My first language isn’t English, it is Swedish. And I also changed some stuff)
Velvet✨✨
Basics
Full name
Velvet Lyric Mazzola
Alias
Vel (pretty much everyone), sis (Veneer)
Age & DOB
19 31/7/05
Gender & Pronouns
Cis Female She/her
Sexuality
Lesbian
Occupation
Singer & Performer
Religion
Agnostic
Appearance
Weight
68.95 kg (152 lbs)
Height
192 cm (6’3)
Body Shape
Rectangle
Body Type
Mesomorph
Skin Color
White
Face Shape
Circle
Hair
Long, wavy, healthy, bright green
Eyes
Round shaped, bright blue
Normal Apparel
Extravagant clothing, skirts, jean shorts, crop tops, makeup
Distinguishing features
Beauty mark above lip, scar on her left arm from childhood, dimples, five tattoos, and a big ahh forehead
Personality
Personality Type
ESTP-A (the entrepreneur)
Short Description
Velvet is extremely goal-orientated, and would put her friends or family down to reach her own goals. She strives for attention and love. Velvet might seem mean on the outside, but deep down she has a soft spot for her twin brother, Veneer. She’s extremely protective of her loved ones, but she isn’t the most reliable. Velvet barks more than she bites, but she can knock a bitch down.
Traits
Mean, ambitious, artistic, humorous, intelligent, controlling, protective, talented, somewhat toxic, and strong
Likes
Bubble baths, perfume, money, shopping, expensive clothes, praise, candles, mani pedis, the beach, purple crop tops, and roses
Dislikes
Trolls, being ignored, cheap perfumes, the feel of velvet fabrics 💀, her parents, being bossed around, balloons
Hobbies
Singing, dancing, songwriting, yoga, sketching makeup ideas, collecting vintage magazines, hairstyling, and zip lining
Fears
Thantophobia, atychiphobia, athazagoraphobia, cynophobia
Backstory
On July 31st, 2005, Velvet was born along with her younger twin brother. Her parents only wanted a boy, so she never got a lot of attention. She was cared for on and off by her parents and grandparents. Velvet made a strong connection with her grandmother, January, who was a famous singer in her days. Her grandmother was the main reason she wanted to start singing.
At the age of six, she was enrolled to a private primary school with her brother. Velvet became instantly popular for her famous grandmother and dentist parents. She became friends with almost everybody and loved her younger years. In year 3, her grandmother passed away. It was difficult on Velvet as she lost her main caretaker and friend.
At the start of secondary school, Velvet started becoming rebellious. She and Veneer would sneak out of the house to go to parties, smoke, etc. Eventually, the two were caught. As a punishment, they were given too many activities to worry about instead of sneaking off. She really started to despise her parents.
Velvet would skip her extracurriculars and use her free time to hangout with her friends or sleep. In year 12, she started dating. Velvet was dating the goalie for the school’s football team. However, he was a cunt. He was toxic and emotionally abusive towards Velvet.
This relationship was very draining for her. It made Velvet’s mental health really decline. One day, she got into a heated argument, and he hit her. Velvet went to protect herself, but Veneer jumped in and beat the fuck out of him. Safe to say, he never messed with her again.
Around that time, she started her singing career. Velvet would post her songs on SoundCloud, and got a few thousand followers! She felt consumed by the fame and wanted MORE. Velvet convinced her twin brother to start singing with her a bit after. They became insanely famous stupidly fast.
Velvet was blinded by her fame and money, making her toxic and controlling. It was so bad that she had to go to weekly therapy to control herself. She moved out of her parents house and into a beach home for her and Veneer.
She lives with Veneer right outside of Mount Rageous. she’s pretty happy now. She loves her life and how far she’s come.
Favorites & Least Favorites
Food
F: East Coast oysters. LF: scrambled eggs
Drink
F: raspberry lemonade. LF: Pepsi
Song
F: Agora Hills (Doja Cat). LF: 9 to 5 (Dolly Parton) she’s sick and tired of crimp singing it
Season
F: Summer. LF: winter
Place
F: her grandmother’s music hall. LF: childhood room
Color
F: purple. LF: red
Relationships
Mother: Veronica Mazzola/56/living
Father: Valentino Mazzola Jr./58/living
Brother: Veneer Mazzola/19/living
Other: Grandma/Mom’s Side/January Harmony/85/deceased, Grandpa/Dad’s Side/Valentino Mazzola Sr./92/deceased
Lover(s): Joey/20/living/ex, Orchid/18/living
Other
Birthplace: Mount Rageous
Residence: 5 miles out of Mount Rageous in a Beach House
Nationality: Mount Rageon
Ethnicity: Mount Rageon
Veneer
General
Full Name
Veneer Adagio Mazzola
Alias
Ven (almost everyone), bro (Velvet)
Age & DOB
19 31/7/05
Gender & Pronouns
Cis male He/him
Sexuality
Bisexual with pref for men
Occupation
Singer & Performer
Religion
Christian
Appearance
Weight
67.13 kg (148 lbs)
Height
183 cm (6’0)
Body Shape
Rectangle
Body type
Ectomorph
Skin Color
White
Face shape
Circle
Hair
Medium, wavy, soft, bright green
Eyes
Round and bright blue
Normal Apparel
Extravagant clothing, heels, jeans, t-shirts, tank tops, bracelets, earrings
Distinguishing features
Scar on upper lip, tooth gap, and three tattoos
Personality
Personality type
ESFJ-A (the consul)
Short Description
Veneer is extremely smart… like VERY smart. He’s insane with how good his intuition is and how quick he can find your biggest insecurities. Veneer is goal-orientated like his older twin sister, but he’s more secretive about it. To most, he only seems to be a flamboyant himbo. But in reality, Veneer is a caring but shady bitch.
Traits
Loud, judgy, overall friendly, happy-go-lucky, flamboyant, sensitive, protective, strong, talented, intelligent, mean
Likes
Pop music, gossip, anything gucci, the champagne toast scent from BaBW, beanies, vintage clothing, expensive jewelry, smell of gasoline
Dislikes
Cheap food, being bossed around, cigarettes, Velvet spraying perfume on him, being tickled, being alone, lavender scent, having no money
Hobbies
Dancing, singing, gardening, shopping, sketching fashion ideas, crocheting, acting, playing tennis, fishing
Fears
Atychiphobia, acrophobia, traumatophobia
Backstory
On July 31st, 2005, Veneer was born along with his older twin sister. Their parents only wanted a boy, so Veneer got the most attention growing up. He was spoiled to death by his parents, but it made him uncomfortable. Ever since he was a toddler, he was weirded out by his parents. However, there was an important figure in his life that made him not uncomfy: Valentino Mazzola Sr.
His grandfather supported his love of dance and acting, but also taught him “manly” things. Veneer was very close to his grandfather. He started attending a private primary school with his twin sister. Quickly, he became popular; not just by his family being famous. Veneer was an extremely nice kid in Primary School.
In middle school, Veneer started to experiment with who he was. He started painting his nails, got his ears pierced, and acted more feminine. But this angered his parents; they said that they didn’t want a gay child. With that, he started becoming very secretive. Veneer didn’t talk to certain people for months on end.
When he got to year 10, his grandfather past away. It was really hard on Veneer. On top of all the stressful activities he had to do; he had to suffer loss. This was when Velvet and Veneer started their singing career. (Ha that rhymed).
He felt so happy that people adored him; he felt even happier his sister was getting the attention she deserved. Due to getting famous, Veneer really stopped caring. He became himself and didn’t give two shits if his parents started complaining.
Veneer became an icon in Mount Rageous quickly. He is just as greedy with his fame as Velvet, but he can control himself more. He loves his life, his family, his boho chic home decorations, and his money.
Favorites & Least Favorites
Food
F: Lobster tail LF: coconut
Drink
F: Pipeline Punch Monster LF: sparkling water
Song
F: I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman (Britney Spears) LF: Rude Boy (Rihanna)
Season
F: Fall LF: Winter
Place
F: the beach LF: elevators
Color
F: hot pink LF: bright yellow
Relationships
Mother: Veronica Mazzola/56/living
Father: Valentino Mazzola Jr./58/living
Sister: Velvet Mazzola/19/living
Other: grandma/Mom’s side/January Harmony/85/deceased, Grandpa/dad’s side/Valentino Mazzola Sr./92/deceased
Lover(s): Kid Ritz/19/living
Other
Birthplace: Mount Rageous
Residence: 5 miles out of Mount Rageous
Nationality: Mount Rageon
Ethnicity: Mount Rageon
(Thank you for reading this massive thing <3 )
#trolls#trolls 3#band together trolls#velvet trolls#band together#trolls band together#trolls veneer#velvet and veneer#trolls velvet and veneer#velvet and veneer trolls#veneer trolls#trolls velvet#trolls headcanons#velvet x orchid#velvet and veneer headcanons#this took way too long#headcanon#veneer x kid ritz
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SUCH, an old rant, heres idk this ig
at the end of tma, as we know, he dies. he gets killed, by Martin, his lover. this is known by you guys. HOWEVER, what you don't know, is WHYYYY. in the final episodes of tma he finds his friends, Georgie and Melanie (hehe lesbians) who are immune to the fear powers because Gorgie has this thing going for her where she doesn't feel fear (because of an encounter in college will explain later) and Melanie gouged her eyes out to escape the archives. Because neither of them have any ties with the fears anymore they can walk the domains without being affected by them at all. As well as this, underneath the institute there are these old tunnels, designed by the architect Robert Smirk, these tunnels, being right under what used to be the institute during the eyepocalypse means the eye can see it. (eye can't see itself yk?) they also had the ability to take people out of the domains; and bring them to the tunnels and out of their torment. this never lasted long. The watchers would almost always come back and find them and take them back to their hellscape.
moving on, he and Martin find the two of them with 5 others they've taken from the domains within the tunnels; and since they are underneath the panopticon which is where Jonah is, they begin to try and find a way to turn the world back to normal. John knows it's impossible. he is the embodiment of all the known knowledge in the universe, while there are some things he doesn't know; because NO ONE knows them. he knows everything. he knows there is no real way to put the world back and for him to survive. he has resigned himself to this fate and can't bring it up to Martin because he is too stubborn to accept that Jon will not be making out alive. Jon is the pupil of the eye, he is too connected with it to be so separated from it if the fears went back to their edge of the universe. Georgie and Melanie would accept this if they knew it was the only way. but Martin, Martin would never accept it. and he doesn't! john tries his very best to gently let them know that no matter the options they talk about, he won't make it out. he tries so hard to hide how much he longs to be in his rightful place in the panopticon. He knows it's wrong that he wants that but I really don't think it is, he IS the eye, and he feeds on the terror and the fear of everyone around him, and he loves it! but he has so much guilt that this is what feeds him, and he feels so guilty that he enjoys the others suffering because the archivist was literally MADE to watch and perceive the fear of others.
they have some options on how they can turn the world back to normal, but only one of them would actually work. the options are basically to let Jon take over the hellscape, and monitor the fear domains, try and make them manageable, make them more “fair”; this is the one that Jon wants. he longs to take his place as the pupil, the archive. the rest of them hate that idea. they find it unfair and say it would change nothing. the other option is for Jon to take his place and then just move everyone towards the end. the end is the fear of death, meaning that in that domain people will eventually die, meaning as the world goes on everyone will eventually die, so if he moves everyone to the end domain, and then speed it up, it could be a mercy to let them die, compared to the hell they currently suffer.
the last option is for them to allow the fears to go into a different world. there are other universes, and one of the avatars of the web has found a rift between them that has been worn and stretched enough to make it a gap. if they kill Jonah, and Jon isn't close enough to take his place, the fears will flood their way into other universes. this isn't a favored one either, because while their world will go back to normal, it means that thousands, maybe millions of other worlds will have the fears within them; still working as normal, but the risk is then added that people will take the same path as those in their world did, leading it to be doomed as well. they end up choosing this path, but no one there will listen to the all-seeing antichrist sitting next to them. he knows that he will not survive this, and Martin's main argument on all of them is that he does not want to lose Jon. he cannot lose Jon, Jon has to make it through with them. he is stubborn. Jon knows that he won't live. any option that means the world goes back to normal means that he dies. he tries to tell them but knows they won't listen to him, and won't accept it.
they have the plan to put the world back to normal, but Jon goes against it, when martin is supposed to go up and kill Jonah, Jon goes instead. he knows he'll die, and he knows that the plan will fail if he is not the one to kill jonah. so he does! and I honestly can't recommend enough listening to the first half of that episode because of the statement he does, it's incredible and it's the reason I relisten to it so much despite the pain it causes me mentally 🥲.
*ahem*
in short, Jon deserved more respect and more understanding, and people didn't value him enough, and hated him too much for decisions that were made out of his hands and happened to fall on his shoulders, and he should have been listened to more.
#this is so incredibly old im sorry#my irl told me to post it#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#im sorry if anything is mischaracterized or feels incorrect or over explaining#it was made for an irl who hadn't listened yet and i was trying to provide context#jon sims of the magnus archives they could never make me hate you
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Would you write Landoscar rule 63 where only one is a girl? What would that verse look like for you if you did?!
As you may know, I'm currently writing landoscar rule 63 where they're both girls. But only one of them being a girl? Hm... I won't say never, because if I get the motivation for it, why not! but it's not planned as I've never written a heterosexual relationship before lmao
I still have a very clear idea about them as girls so here's my essay about both verses :
With girl!Lando:
I really, really want to explore the idea of a masculine girl Lando, with short curly hair and a idgaf attitude. She dresses masc and baggy on normal days, especially on the paddock, but she wears tight leggings and shorts when she works out and can body a dress at social events like she's a full time model.
She's the same height (because I don't see the point in making girl versions smaller... 1m75 is not unrealistic for a girl) and has the same musculature as irl boy Lando, only with a smaller waist (if that's possible) and small tits, which means she can't be bothered with bras and she gets harshly criticized by the media when her nipples are visible through her fireproofs or her team polos but she doesn't careeee, she loves pissing the media and the macho fans off. Oscar feels Hella guilty about stealing way too many looks at her chest and the way her hips sways when she walks. Girl!Lando is quite the revelation for him since he has to admit being very much attracted to muscles on girls. He's also wrestling with the fact all his instincts wants to protect girl!Lando, to defend her, to shield her from any negative comment, but he feels silly and sexist for it because he knows she's strong enough to stand on her own, she has been standing proud and brave for years now, way before he was even in F1, and she certainly doesn't need his protection or help.
Except she does, but not in the way he expected. With Carlos and Daniel, she always made sure to be as loud as them, as bright as them, so she wasn't made to be small and helpless next to them. But with Oscar, she learns to let her guard down, she lets herself be quiet and soft. She lets him do things for her, even as small as opening snacks or water bottles, not because she can't, but because she knows Oscar doesn't see it as a sign of weakness but of trust.
She's very flirty in nature and she relishes in the way Oscar gets flustered by it. She loves how level-headed and composed Oscar is, how smart he is despite being a pure idiot sometimes when he fails to see the first clues she's clearly interested in him, and she loves how she can make him laugh so easily. Oscar loves how lively and adventurous Lando is, how quick and witty her answers are, how silly and utterly stupid she can be sometimes.
It's a long relationship of mutual respect and admiration turning into fondness and trust before they can develop feelings for each other. Girl!Lando waits for him to take the first step but Oscar can be fcking dense sometimes and he fears to make her uncomfortable so she eventually has to pin him to the wall and kiss him square on the mouth to put a end to this cat and mouse game they have going on, and it all clicks into place from there, Lando fitting perfectly into Oscar's big arms and against his broad chest. Girl!Lando both consciously and unconsciously wants to challenge gender norms in her everyday life but she has to face it... she loves being the little spoon. And she whines about Oscar having a better ass than her.
She's also a raging bisexual, and she hates that the media speculates on her sexuality and sometimes goes as far as assuming she's a lesbian only because of her short hair and because she's an agressive driver. She had one girlfriend before, very private relationship because she doesn't feel like being out. Not before she accomplishes what she wants in her career. She comes out to Oscar, though, before they get together and it's a big deal for her because, among the drivers, only Max and Carlos know about it, and Oscar is so happy she trusts him enough to tell him.
NSFW // she's a lot more vanilla that Oscar was expecting for some reason. Very high sex drive though. She doesn't give blowjobs, arguing she's too much of a fussy eater to take a whole dick in her mouth. Oscar is fine with it because she gives the best handjobs known to man and because she rides him like a pro. He loves how confident she is in her body, how she wears Victoria Secret lingerie beneath her baggy masculine clothes, and how she gets all soft and whiny and clingy when Oscar pushes into her. She doens't like it rough and Oscar is a gentle lover so they work perfectly together <3
With girl!Oscar: girly Oscar is... basically the same bloke as irl boy Oscar if we're being honest lmao. She has long wavy hair, falling below her shoulders, but she can't be bothered with combing it, barely making the effort to tie it into a low lazy ponytail before putting on her racing gear. She then has the audacity to complain about her hair getting tangled. She's tall for a girl and is a bit insecure about it. She secretly loves when female fans call her "mommy" on social media because of her thick thighs and big breasts. She fcking hates it when male fans do it. Except one. Well he's not really a fan. He's her overly excited puppy temmate. He doesn't call her mommy of course but Oscar is not stupid, she can see him glancing at her boobs and her ass when she's wearing shorts, which is often. Lando doesn't quite feel guilty about it because he convinced himself he's not being a pervert if he doesn't look more than 10 seconds at a time.
Girl!Oscar is obviously very strong, she has the same dry humor and laid back attitude as irl Oscar, she's very calm and rarely complains on the radio. She fcking hates when male fans compliment her composed personality because she knows they would find a way to be sexist if she was only 10 % more expressive and they only like her because she's naturally reserved and doesn't complain and that's what they want if a woman is in F1: for her to be quiet. And she fcking hates it, she hates it so much, but it's her personality and she won't change it to prove a point, so instead she does what she does best: she interacts with other drivers in a joking manner, she throws subtle shots at other teams (one in particular), she makes her quietness a strenght in the way she doesn't get shaken by anything happening on and off the track, proving everyone how strong and unflappable she is, more mature than a lot of older more experienced drivers. Lando admires her a lot for it.
At first, he saw Oscar as a weird specimen. He didn't meet a lot of strong girls before, and he got a bit grumpy when he realized she's a bit taller than him (that will change quickly). The thing is... he tragically doesn't know how to act around Oscar. He's used to date models, skinny girls with great hair and nice clothes. Oscar... Oscar doesn't really take care of her appareance: she dresses practical instead of flattering, she doesn't wear makeup, doesn't style her hair, she's the most natural girl Lando has ever met and he's going slightly Feral about it. The way he's attracted to Oscar is so primal and strong and blinding it scares him a bit sometimes.
Oscar herself is very embarrassed about her own crush on Lando. She's been crushing on him for years, since they were teens. She's so infatued with Lando she laughs at everything he says and then gets embarrassed when she watches the clips on twitter and fans teases her about her "heart eyes" and "zendaya laugh". She does kick her feet when she sees interviews where Lando publicly praises her, and she still blushes on camera when Lando calls her "Osc" or "Osco". She feels like a basic bitch when he sports the fuckboy look and she likes it a bit too much. The problem is, she's not as unbothered as people believe when she's alone and safe, and she has a lot more insecurities that she leads on, so she sadly doesn't think Lando would ever be interested in her, considering his dating history. So she locks her feelings away and simply tries to be a good teammate and a good driver and maybe a good friend. She's not stupid enough to ignore Lando's eyes on her, of course, but she assumes it's normal, just a boy looking at boobs because that's what boys do. However she is stupid enough to not realize how Lando treats her incredibly gently, how he softens his voice when he talks to her, how he trusts her entirely and really cares about her opinions and wants to spend more time with her and get to know her.
It's a classic case of "she fell first but he fell harder". Even if it's only physical attraction at first, Lando quickly gets enamored because she's so smart and gentle and confident in her own skills and that's super hot. She makes him feel calmer, more relaxed, and he wants to keep her close all his life.
Cliche straight relationship from here: Lando asks her out, not really saying it's a date but it totally is and he wears a fcking suit to drive her to an expensive restaurant, and Oscar wants to die from embarrassment because she completely misunderstood the situation and she's wearing fcking jeans and sneakers, so Lando pours some wine on his white shirt: that way they both look ridiculous and out of place and they laugh about it so much together and they sloppily make out in Lando's car afterwards like a couple of horny teenagers and they live happily ever after yada yada yada.
NSFW // they're more kinky than girl!lando and boy!oscar for some reason. Girl!Oscar is not necessarily insecure about her body but she's not confident about it either, so she really feels the heat when Lando spends hours worshipping her body from top to bottom, and praises her constantly about how pretty and cute and hot she is. He's very much obsessed with her boobs, always find a way to stick his face in between, he also loves eating her out even when Oscar is shy about it at first and it takes him a few weeks to convince Oscar to sit on his face. He almost dies from happiness there (and suffocation but he doesn't tell Oscar not to freak her out so she continues to ride his tongue more and more confindently). When he asks her if he can f*ck her in the ass, she thinks she's so smart for replying "only if I can f*ck you in the ass, too", but the problem is: Lando is like "yeah why not" and poor Osc didn't plan for this so she gets incredibly shy again and it takes them months to get there. It's a lot of experimenting and kinks exploration with those two, and they have a lot of fun with it! They don't like everything but that's okay, because they're grossly in love and always find a way to make each other feel good.
I love my girls man......... Like I said, it's unlikely I wrote any of it but! girl!Lando and girl!Oscar are eating each other's pussy as we speak, so. Yeah.
#ask#anon#that's.... so long wtf sorry for that#girl!lando#girl!oscar#i love my girls so much#landoscar#landoscar rpf#rule 63#jen's writing
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SCIENCE-SLAPFIGHT FINALS
24. Dr. Diana Diamond (She/Her) @numberposting
She's a science lady. She's trans. AND she's a lil stupid and lame!!! She's got it all!!! She lives in a universe where “mad scientist” is an Actual job you can get, she literally has a degree in Mad Science! She’s Very adamant that mad science is all about pushing the limits of science without being “constrained” by ethical standards set by society, which is to say that she has a moral compass made of swiss cheese. Hashtag girlboss <3
While some people can be a liiittle off-put by her basement-turned-lab containing fun death lasers, she’s honestly just a dweeb once you get to know her. When she’s not conducting weird experiments for mysterious benefactors (or just for personal enjoyment), she’s hanging out with her epic and cool wife Alice!!
Although Diana can be a lil withdrawn, Alice’s optimistic and excitable personality really brings out the best in her!! They do almost everything together: Baking, stargazing, long walks on the beach, vivisecting people…
Her wife is super normal btw don’t even worry about it <3
In short, you should vote for certified sillygirl Diana becuz:
1. She’s a funnie trans lesbian
2. She loves her wife SO much
3. She didn’t get a PhD in Mad Science for nothin’
4. She listens almost exclusively to They Might be Giants and Oingo Boingo
5. She could use the validation tbh
6. She lost the last poll she was in on round 1 isn't that so sad :(
7. I love her :D
Also she does enjoy cupcakes!! She prefers cookies tho <3 If given a cupcake she'd probs just give it to Alice cuz that's what love is all about!!
Relevant Links: She has a whole Neocities blog site thing!! It hasn't been updated in a long while cuz College Hard BUT it'll be updated again sometime in the future!! https://diamondexperiments.neocities.org/
28. Lady (She/Her) @forkdork
Lady is a cold-hearted scientist who would do anything in the name of science even if she has to commit horrible actions. After all, in the end, this is for the better of the world even if she has the break a few hundred eggs to get the results she wants. Who else would sacrifice the things she has to get to this point? Who would go to such extremes to the point of the only thing you have left is your work and your name? Well. Lady would even from a young age this was the case her whole life pretty much leading her to the point she is now. Her twin sister didn’t even get in the way of her goals. Being one of the first to figure out how to use science to manipulate magic due to this headset of hers
This pretty much led Lady to be ‘respected’ or feared more then anything in her workplace with the actions she has committed. Lady being responsible for hundreds of documents, subjects, and scientific discoveries to be made. While also being responsible for hundreds of families to be torn apart.. Lives to be lost… people being driven insane due to her experiments… Obviously, this has bitten Lady in the ass many MANY times. With subjects escaping and attacking her when they get the chance, but of course, they never go far and just end back in Lady’s grasp.
Relevant Links: here! it has uh alot of violence! and blood! i dont normally write alot but i do draw a bunch https://toyhou.se/12615920.lady-/gallery
(Image credits: @numberposting and @forkdork respectively)
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