#lesbian realization

[allyendergirl]

Ok so I pattern recognized my way into realizing I was gay. Accept through this years long “process” of pattern recognition, I never really had a big realization, I guess.

So in middle school I was first introduced to yaoi and gay slash fic. I’m pretty sure I discovered anime (free!) through MakoHaru doujins. So my first introduction to the greater online sphere was through heavily queer spaces and content. Eventually these bl interests lead me to interacting with this greater queer fandom space and I started to see posts about how these adults should’ve realized that they were gay in middle school bc they were shipping obsessed and were also very invested in gay rights, just like me, so I was like “ok so I fall into this stereotype I’ll probably realize I’m gay at some point”.

Eventually in 7th grade I pondered the idea that I was asexual bc I didn’t have crushes on anybody. Not fictional men, fictional women, real men or women, no one. I had a “boyfriend” in sixth grade, and I vividly remember liking this boy a lot in 4th grade and the affection waning in 5th but we were still really good friends in 6th grade so I gave it a try. I think this boy’s terrible reaction to me breaking up with him is the reason why I like women. Not the point tho.

Anyway I Strongly identified with asexuality in some aspects but not in others, so I didn’t make it apart of my identity.

In 8th grade I settled on yeah probably queer/just queer. Then late in freshman year I discovered Aegosexual and I was like hell yeah that describes me pretty good, but something was still off and I didn’t make it apart of my identity.

Then in sophomore year, when I started playing with sapphic for my identity. And I started seeing posts about lesbians high school journeys from identifying as queer-to-sapphic-to-lesbian, and I was like yeah that sounds like me, I remember thinking “yeah that’ll probably be me, and I’ll probably be calling myself a lesbian by junior/senior year”. So I just let it naturally happen. And it did happen, I eventually, naturally started to call myself a lesbian in my junior year of high school.

But I wasn’t fully realized yet bc I still thought I was technically some type of asexual until I came across a nsfw profile of twitter and the person like exclusively drew and retwitted horny art of women and I got horny for women for the first time. Took me a few tries to get an orgasim out of me but eventually I had my full lesbian sexual awakening in late junior year. So yeah, I now know that Im nOt asexual.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[dimeadozencows]

My personal understanding of the situation

[overlymetaromantic]

Dungeon Meshi, or as I like to call it, Marcille's-increasingly-difficult-to-ignore-revelations-that-her-endless-devotion-to-Falin-may-in-fact-be-more-rooted-in-lesbianism-than-she-originally-thought

[painfully-yearning]

"my red flag is i can be possessive" like i give a fuck??? if we're out in public hold me by my waist and don't let go. make me sit in your lap if somebody tries to flirt with me. i absolutely want you to be just as obsessive over me because the moment i see a femme check you out, im giving her dirty looks with my arms around you

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[womanman]

“We need more weird queer people” Y’all can’t handle 90% of the ways multigenders label their sexualities

[idolomantises]

If Monsters and Girls ever gets a tv show my only request is that it doesn’t become that kind of show where a male character with a small role somehow overshadows the female cast.

And you WILL draw Yuri

[7roaches]

sorry that took like an hour i stopped to eat dinner heres my idea

[ghostvibesonly]

imogen’s development from “i’m not like homophobic 😃 i’m an ally 😌💅” to “i don’t think i’ve ever liked a boy” is absolutely 10/10 no notes, exactly where i was hoping her character would go

[sennamaticart]

Fantasy

[takemetodragonstone]

*if your gender and sexuality brought on different feelings, vote for whichever you want. (whichever feeling was stronger, or first, or however you want to decide).

If you’re comfortable with it, put your sexuality and/or gender identity in the tags along with the feeling you experienced upon discovering it so we can see if any trends appear with correlations between certain identities and feelings!

[karoochui]

Tw for just slight blood

also Help Wanted 2 DCA spoilers maybe

How have i never drawn Vanessa before also Sun in Help Wanted 2. Heart eyes. He was crazy for all of that

[laurellala-comics]

Fun fact! This was the real tipping point that made Edgeworth run away after AA1, they just couldn't show it on screen because they didn't have the rights to Chappell Roan's music <3

(A spiritual successor to my "Hot to Go" joke from this post. Image description under the cut below)

[Image ID: a four page black and white comic of characters from ace attorney.

The Judge stands solemnly at his podium holding a gavel "Mr. Miles Edgeworth, you are on trial for the murder of blah blah blah..."

A cheerful Maya Fey leans over to Miles Edgeworth, who is staring straight ahead and looking very concerned

Maya: "Psst! Mr. Edgeworth! If you win your trial, can I show you Chappell Roan?

Miles: "What the hell, sure." Internally he thinks "Oh God I am going to jail"

A box saying "later" in the top corner of the next panel marks the passage of time.

The Judge smiles as he says "I declare you... Not Guilty!"

We see a full body shot of Maya dancing excitedly while Miles looks on, emotionless

Maya: YIPPEE omg you're going to LOVE this

Miles internally thinks "oh no, the consequences of my actions.

We see Miles standing in between Phoenix Wright and Maya looking apprehensive. Maya beams in excitement, while Nick puts a reassuring hand on Miles' shoulder

Miles: Alright, so what is this exactly?

Nick: She's a pop musician Maya really likes

Maya: You promised you'd let me show you, and it's legally binding because you said it in a court room!

Miles: That is not how the law works Ms. Fey

Maya: Shh just listen!

We see a panel of Miles' pensive face concentrating as he listens to "Hot to Go". He thinks to himself "hm".

Another panel zoomed in more. His pensive expression has grown more tense/confused as he listens to "Red Wine Supernova". he again thinks to himself "Hm" in a larger thought bubble.

We zoom out again to see Nick, Miles, and Maya standing together again. Miles stares forward blankly, eyebrows raised. Maya excitedly leans in.

Maya: Ok, that's her whole discography. So! What did you think?

Nick looks at him, waiting for his response

We get a panel of Miles, looking bewildered. He starts to speak "I..."

We cut again to see the three of them standing together.

Miles: I... don't think I like women?

Miles looks shocked and confused. Nick is bent over laughing, using a hand on Miles's shoulder to support himself. Maya looks outraged and appalled!

Maya: MR. EDGEWORTH! Just because you don' like her musi it doesn't give you an excuse to be sexist!

We see a panel of Miles looking stressed and confused. He leans his head on one of his hands, which messes up his hair, showing how he isn't his normal put together self.

Miles: I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Ms. Roan is clearly VERY assured in her feelings towards women. I was... unaware that anyone felt that strongly. I thought we all viewed these things with a vague sense of distaste and unease but collectively ignored it. Like how we do with climate change.

We zoom out again to see the three of them. Miles stands in the middle looking deeply uncomfortable and lost in thought, vibrating with unease. Nick and Maya exchange deeply concerned glances across from him.

With lingering unease, Miles begins to walk away.

Miles: Well, I should be going then. Goodnight.

Nick hesitantly raises a finger to point out an inaccuracy in that statement

Nick: It's four in the afternoon-

he gets interrupted by Miles who repeats firmly: I said Goodnight

Nick looks in the direction Miles walked off in.

Nick: ...He'll be ok, right?

Maya reassures him: Of cours Nick! I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

Jump cut to a closeup of Nick's hand holding Miles' letter which reads Miles Edgeworth chooses death in all caps. Then, below in smaller font, it says Also femininomenon was really good, thanks.

We see a panel of Nick glaring wordlessly at Maya as he holds the letter in his hand. Maya leans against the wall and looks away, whistling, trying to look innocent to avoid blame.

As a bonus, we also have a page that takes place a year later. Miles and Nick stand talking. Miles looks calmer now, and Nick smiles encouragingly.

Miles: In my time in Europe, I've been examining myself and my approach to law. Ultimately, the most important focus must be justice. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve

Nick: Wow, that's really inspiring Edgeworth. And, uh, hows the... the other thing going?

We get a zoomed in panel of Miles glaring menacingly at a suddenly nervous Nick

Jumping out again, Miles turns his back to Nick as he continues to talk

Miles: So as I was saying, justice is truly so important...

Nick nervously rubs the back of his neck wearing an awkward expression as he sweats nervously. He thinks to himself internally "Ooookay then, clearly still working through some things there"

/.End ID]

[tubbytarchia]

Liau drew such an awesome salmon merPearl that I couldn't help but do the same because I can't stop thinking about her (also I turned it into Gempearl of course)

[otaku553]

New blorbo :)

Also a silly interaction with this piece

[winter-mornings]

GIRLY POP