#legit I will write a damn essay

[getvalentined]

I love trying to explain to people outside my main fandom what my most controversial fandom takes are because most of them are either canon or so-heavily-implied-as-to-be-canon, but somehow it's still a huge issue to talk about them.

[starrsbby]

i’m gonna kill someone* omg can someone else write this paper-

[nights-at-crystarium]

on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.

[only-the-impossible]

i really don’t know how tumblr works but i posted this brain dump analysis thread on twitter about nicki and his “i secretly hoped we would both fail” thing bc it’s sooooo yummy and complex and not what it seems on first glance and i wanted to add it here too 😁

it’s not him secretly hating or judging lestat, it’s a progression of his deterioration from “i am cursed and the heavens despise me but it’s not too late for lestat bc his soul is good and by being around him maybe there’s hope for me too

to

“i am pure evil and cursed to my core, there is no hope for changing that or salvation for me and i’m corrupting the person i love most just by being around him and that is risking his soul also becoming damned and the thought of that is devastating so i would rather push him away and get him to leave by being cruel to him; while also selfishly hoping that he could choose me and damn himself to be cursed to hell by staying and dying with me; the way we talk about being ‘companions in sin’, but hoping that could mean for eternity so that i wont be alone there, selfishly hoping that someone will choose loving me and my evil enough to love it to that end”

like there’s something specific in how nicki’s “hatred and judgment” he feels towards lestat is not that at all and it’s actually that he loves him SO much that it makes him hate himself more; a big reason nicki’s character and nickistat hurts so bad and is so doomed and compelling is that lestat loved him SO MUCH that that just solidified nicki’s fate/destiny to where there could be no denying that even the highest level of love could not save him from it

and nicki projecting hatred and judgement onto lestat was not actually about lestat, it was hatred and judgement towards HIMSELF that ended up being projected onto him bc ‘how evil of me to drag this good person into loving me and letting them hope that could save me and how silly of ME to believe that could cleanse me of my darkness and evil and that it could change my fate.’

he doesn’t and never could hate lestat, the fact that their love was so intense and big for eachother ultimately made nicki hate himself more bc yeah god really does hate him and wants him to suffer and it was stupid of him to even hope that he could make god love him by learning goodness and light from lestat

he believes that to have been him manipulating lestat into loving and hoping for him and that makes him hate himself even more bc “who was I, to dare and doom my beloved Lestat's soul to such a fate?Nicolas de Lenfent. Lord of Darkness, Lord of Sin.” (quote from my current fav nicki character analysis fic btw i’ll add the link at the end😈)

him trying to make lestat believe he hated him was a desperate attempt at saving him from the same fate, it was ultimately a legit (albeit complex and fucked) act of love,

i’ve also got a lotttt of thoughts about this specifically in regards to parallels of nicki/nickistat to dante’s inferno/francesca + paolo’s story bc a LOTTTT of tvc characters and themes and nicki especially have so much catholic religious influence in how they think and behave due to being raised under it and it’s horrible and wonderful and i can’t wait to write an entire essay about it :)

[meili-sheep]

I'm slowly loving the Crepus slander 😂

That what if Crepus comes back to live thing, how does Kaeya react and do when he sees that Crepus is an asshole to his very own son?

I'm just hungry for protective Kaeya shit 🗿👌✨

You know I have several essays about why he sucks?

And I've been considering researching child psychology and finding papers to scientifically prove he's a bad dad, like legit. I have some experience writing academic papers, and I might as well put this knowledge to good use.

Let me also tell you about my story with Kaeya. I used to hate him because of Venti's Story Quest and his own quest. Because in Venti's his line in that was so fucking outta pocket and unnecessarily hurtful just to "Please drink responsibly"

It didn't help that I was exposed to "fanon" Kaeya a lot. And that's a whole other mess.

So I was like, you know what. Let's change this around a bit. And I started to think of him more how I think of Ayato. Someone who recognizes that they are bad and keep doing bad things because it still causes a good outcome. And Kaeya gets a sprinkling of the depresso and over protectiveness of Diluc because he recognizes how much he hurt Diluc, and he never wants Diluc to be hurt again.

And you know with each update with him in it. My vision of that keeps getting clearer and more backed up. I did kind of do an "I told you so post" when his conversation with Dain happened, and he said, "I think my dad just left me there to be happy."

SO YEAH.

I think Kaeya is very protective of his brother.

So Crepus coming back. And now, being an adult and Kaeya can see how poorly Diluc is treated. And how favored Kaeya is. (Because he had to be favored IMO) Especially since Kaeya is still a knight.

Kaeya would be like

"No, no, no! Hold the fuck up. You should be showering and spoiling your son! Not me! He's been hurt by everyone! And he can still find it in his heart to try and save them! To be kind. You don't get to praise me when I am not even proud of this job. But I am damn proud of Diluc! He's doubled the winery's income and made drinking better for everyone! He's sweet and kind and the best person in Mondstadt. And I won't allow you to come here and shit all over him just because he doesn't were some stupid uniform anymore!"

And while Kaeya normally likes to keep his distance from Diluc. (Insecurity and feeling of not deserving to be there) I think while Crepus is around, he would stick closer to Diluc's side to butt Crepus out. Because while Crepus being there would bring out a bit of the younger Diluc, Kaeya would see just how fragile and trusting young Diluc was and how much Diluc is still that person in some ways. But He could also see how Crepus keep constantly failing Diluc. In giving him an unobtainium goal to reach and making it feel Crepus's love is tied to the goal.

So yeah, he'd let Diluc nowhere near Crepus.

There is also the back from the dead angle, which is how Kaeya would probably play it off to Diluc because god forbid they actually tell each other their honest feelings.

[queer-coded-camaro-driver]

The #1 Reason Stranger Things Fell Apart, an Essay:

**All things stated below are my personal OPINION and do not have to impact your views if you don't want them to. As an avid D&D player, however, I wanted to write this out for shits n giggles. I was in the mood. This also doesn't address the racism, badly handled character intros, or random B-character deaths.

There is one rule to rule them all in Dungeons & Dragons, a rule so vital to smooth gameplay and story-building that the smartest players know to break it almost certainly means death:

Never split the party.

(There's an entire song about it, that's how deeply engrained in the culture it is).

Once the party has been separated it's not only way easier for your characters to get ambushed/get in trouble/die, it's way harder for all members of the game to keep having the same level of fun! Usually because the wait time between turns and plot development causes players to lose interest or lose track of their last actions.

When it comes to Season 1 of Stranger Things, we have multiple groups of characters building plots together: Nancy, Steve, Jonathan, and the other teens have their drama together. Hopper and the investigation into Hawkins' weird science has its own plot. Will's disappearance and the children hiding El are the main focus - and those groups are almost NEVER narratively separated.

These plots are interwoven to create the greater story and build suspense but the groups within are constantly orbiting around one another to strengthen those connections. Despite my current beef with the Duffers, Season 1 was pretty damn successful in following the Golden Rule of TTRPG.

So when S2 arrives and the process of El's reunification with Mike/the Party gets dragged out further than necessary, all that yummy tension dissipates. Rather than using the established relationships to scaffold new conflicts (Mike/El, Mike/Max(?), Max & Lucas' crush/truce, Dustin's frustration, Will's loneliness, etc.), they broke these load-bearing narratives into smaller "more digestible" chunks.

As S3 and S4 went on, the group fractured even further apart. With this separation came the loss of critical character traits. Mama Byers' beloved velcro-mothering disappears in the face of Hopper's potential survival. Jonathan and Nancy's class disparity falls out of the story despite being one of the more interesting aspects of the "Teen Drama".

Max slips away, Lucas slips away, Dustin and Mike join the Hellfire Club... I know these shifts are meant to represent the way things change in high school but the clique-forming is so fast and drastic by S4 that the Party is unrecognizable.

The Duffers lost serious momentum when they split the party the first time by sending El to Chicago to meet her retconned siblings. But rather than learning from this mistake, they tried doing it a different way over and over until the compiled failures led to... Whatever the fuck is going on right now.

They COULD have done some fascinating stuff with Will and Billy's birthdays marking the dates of the first and final episodes of S4, Vol 1 respectively. They share a name and they were both Flayed. That could have been SUCH a cool coincidence to play with. Yet somehow the fans noticed their timeline mistake before they did, ffs.

They could have done some cool stuff with the Upside Down and Billy and Max getting a heartwarming sibling redemption arc. The 4 OG Party guys could have talked through a legit heart-to-heart about growing up and finding new interests but staying friends, Breakfast Club style.

But no. We got whatever the fuck the Henry Creel stuff was/is/will be. It's not the worst possible writing they could have done, but that element could have been incorporated with so much creativity and class... Yet it got shoehorned between several other developing ideas instead.

And honestly I don't think any of the massively laggy sub-plots with Joyce and Russia and Hopper in jail and Dustin's Mormon girlfriend's stoner sister would have happened if the Duffers had simply followed the rules and never split the party.

[firecrackerhh]

If you…seriously believe that’s how Huskerdust is going to play out just cuz you don’t like Stolitz or whatever (even tho both situations are completely fucking different anyway) then I think you’re very fucking stupid.

When the fuck has the show EVER considered Angel to be a “stupid whore” in a degrading sense exactly in the first place??? Yeah Angel does say that in Loser, baby, but he EMBRACES that label. Which is far different from if the narrative itself was judging him for his behavior. 

If anything, HEAVEN would believe that, not Angel. In season 1 anyway…tho I have a feeling Heaven may start thinking differently since Sir Pen got redeemed.

The fact you would think Viv ever had the intention of writing Angel’s story like that makes me think you probably don’t think very fucking deeply much at all about Viv’s actual intentions when writing a story and you just prefer to come up with the most cliched judgmental bullshit cus that’s all you can come up with seeing what we have so far.

I’m sorry your imagination is so terribly limited my dude, but that’s definitely not Viv’s or anyone else’s problem.

The fact you would actually believe Viv would write that kind of story, Christ you fucks really love seeing the fucking worst in people huh? Why tf do you just ASSUME that is what her stories are gonna be about? No legit, someone fucking tell me, I don’t understaaaaaaaaaand!!!!!

If you look at Angel as a stupid whore for…some ungodly reason, and you blame the narrative when said narrative has done nothing to make the actual audience assume such, them I’m going to assume that maybe you are actually a shit writer and you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

“Duuuuuh Viv writing bad!” Meanwhile Dumbfuck McGee over here literally has the worst interpretation of her works possible, clearly because this mofo probably doesn’t think about goddamn anything beyond the “problematic” elements “the show won’t acknowledge” (like sure that’s reasonable to assume) and because those issues don’t get addressed immediately in the narrative that must mean Viv didn’t think it through fully cus that’s totally what all you fucking shit-for-brains believe because if shit doesn’t go fast enough for you in the narrative your fucking brain will implode or something.

Have y’all considered you just have like, media ADHD? Like, do y’all need a fucking Adderall prescription?

I think Viv writes her damn stories just fucking fine, I’m convinced the only people who do have an issue with her writing on some moral level or whatever have the reading comprehension of a rotting corpse.

Tis tragic, a moment in silence for those who never fucking passed English class.

Like Christ, my English grades sucked, but that’s cuz I suck at writing formal essays, not because I had the reading comprehension of a jelly bean.

If anyone is a fucking loser here, it’s this motherfucker. But they probably think Loser baby is meant to be insulting anyway, so hey, whatever.

Perhaps the point of Hazbin fucking Hotel in general is that the characters will learn to grow and accept themselves as they are, flaws and all, and that they don’t really need heavens shit to begin with, (tho if heaven changes as well, then it’ll be an option for the characters if they so wish, the hotel is for those who choose to be better after all, they should choose where they go.)

But seriously the way some people look at Stolitz is actually deranged, I worry for you people.

Like dude come the fuck on, sex trafficking? Is that what you think the relationship is? Like…no???

It began as a transactional relationship sure, but sex trafficking??? Do you…do you not know what the fuck sex trafficking is!? What calling the Stolitz relationship that fucking implies???

It’s not like Blitz has a fucking pimp, it’s not like Stolas is his pimp, any relationship Blitz has had has some kind of consent on his part, calm the fuck down, legit what the fuck is wrong with you?

Like…I get it, there’s definitely that coercive element there, but yknow what, he doesn’t even need the fucking book anymore, since Stolas gave him that Asmodean Crystal, which Stolas gave him because he wanted Blitz to choose to be with him without any coercive element…

Christ, if you’re gonna miss every hint of evidence that Stolas legit cares for him, including the latest episode, and you’re this fucking dense about it, I question why tf you’re watching HB at this point, Hazbin too, cuz it’s beyond evident you don’t actually know how to analyze media.

“I don’t wanna tag this crit tho cuz of antis” well you sure sound just as fucking retarded as any of them, Jesus Christ…

[ambulancevsambulance]

legit im kinda sad that in 14 days, 2 weeks, we are going to get MCR opening with something other than Foundations. It happened once on SWARM, but it felt like a one off. I know this is the "Black Parade" event but...im gonna miss the utter electricity of the buzzing, the sound of the swarm just enveloping the crowd before the slow tings piano and guitar come in.

They may play it at some point in the evening, probably as encore...but it won't be the same. Foundations set the tone, no matter what the set was going to be (see the 'eras' nights in LA).

Could I write an essay about what Foundations meant as an opener, and what that tone meant? Sure I could. I could. I could. Throw it on the essay pile. But I will say this: I never felt more alive every damn night of that tour than with that buzzing of the insects and the cacophony of the song screaming all around me.

tl;dr I just want Foundations.

[damnonew]

ya’ll as an ex religious person

NOTHING IN THIS WORLD slaps harder than the book of mormon soundtrack 

[flecks-of-stardust]

i feel like at a certain point i’m just going to end up making a guide to how i fight hollow knight bosses because of how much i think about hollow knight combat

[pippin-katz]

Yeah, this could totally work to, that's also a funny way to look at it! Totally down with it! Totally fine with this concept...

BUT!

In defense of the sweetheart that is Charles Rowland, Crystal laughs at him because he uses 80s’ slang! Not because what he means by it doesn't land/work!

Post Writing Note: This turned into an essay, I'm sorry 🥲

“We’ve met psychics before, but none as fit as you.” - Using the word “fit” as a means of calling someone attractive is very dated, and it feels like it. There's some slang from other decades that can be said, knowing and recognizing its' intended era, but still lands as well, if that makes any sense?

I was actually super curious about it and looked up '80s' slang, and almost everything is still commonly used today, that I never knew apparently originated in the 80s'.

Just to name a few of the most common ones, cause a lot of them are used, but these stand out:

Leaving quickly - bounce, split, book it, dip

Descriptors meaning "cool" - awesome, excellent, stellar, wicked

Saying "yes" or agreeing - big time, for sure, I kid you not, most definitely

Emphasis & comparison - like (like, you know, how we add it in the middle of sentences, like, randomly), mad (it was mad hot outside), major (something important, rather than actually large in size), scarf (scarfing down food, not a literal scarf), peg (i didn't peg you as a [blank] person),

Positive descriptors for people/things - BFF, fave, fine, legit, chill

Negative descriptors for people/things - airhead, chicken, harsh, lame

Various phrases - freak out, bite me, clutch (like coming in clutch),

Class & culture related - boy toy, chocoholic, couch potato, hacker, jock, nerd, valley girl

Hip Hop terms - beatbox, dope, hood, hype

This is the list I found BTW if you're wondering.

“It would be a shame if dandelions exploded out of your face. Because I think your face is pretty mint.” - Again, the word “mint” is so weird in today’s context; we don’t really use it to mean appearance or quality anymore, only for like, vintage collectible items like “mint condition”.

“Right, that’s all true. But your case is still our favorite, Crystal.” - Her smile in response to that one is not mocking/pitying like the others, it's genuinely, she seems to think that one was kind of sweet; she knows what he’s doing, but also knows he’s not being ingenuine about it

"I will always hit a demon with a cricket bat for you." - Not even sure if this counts as flirting since he would probably say this platonically anyway, but pretty sure this one is supposed to be worded a little silly to help cheer her up after so much negative emotion.

"He's wrong, you know. You're still pretty damn special." - This could also be said platonically, but looking at it romantically, it doesn't not work; she's just overwhelmed after having an emotional breakdown caused by her demon ex-boyfriend, and they're in the middle of a forest with a ghost-eating mushroom monster on the loose. This not the place, nor do they have the time for "emotional bullshit" as Crystal calls it. It's clear that she's knows he means it, and she's touched by it, which on top of all the other emotions she was feeling was too much for that moment.

Crystal does end up reciprocating, so all of this to say that Charles has rizz! While I think that would be an interesting direction, my heart just cried out when you suggested Charles gets ignored and laughed at. I can't handle more of this boy being made to feel inadequate 😭

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this short essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

everyone is talking about zero rizz edwin. which is fair. but i would like to raise you: zero rizz charles.

of course everyone loves charles, but when he actively tries to flirt with crystal, she just laughs at him. edwin, on the other hand, has been feeling much bolder ever since the events of port townsend, and has taken to “harmlessly” charming some of the fitter men they encounter on the job. no matter what, charles just can’t seem to replicate it, and most of them ignore charles completely.

obviously, charles’ first instinct is to get protective over edwin. he’s thrilled that his best mate has learned to accept himself, but he can’t shake this sinking, horrid, feeling in his gut whenever edwin gives their newest interviewee a look that he’s never seen before; something flirtatious and absolutely stunning on him.

he’s probably just jealous that everyone likes edwin more right? he’s just not used to his mate being the one doing the charming

[dirt-str1der]

People who post their character hate essays in the characters tag should die i dont mean a critical analysis that they reseached and poured their soul into i mean people who just come in and be like REAONS I HATE XXX : 1. I hate their stupid face i hate their stupid hair i hate their stupid shoes i hate their attitude i think theyre a bitch and a coward i think theyre annoying as hell i think they should shut up because YYY is better and should have gotten more screen time

Genuinely u can post whatever u like but IN THE CHARACTER TAGS ??? WHERE PEOPLE. HANG ON I CAN ILLUSTRATE IT

^^^^^^^^^^^ u gonna do this to someone ?????

[matoitech]

oh okay promare wiki so aina maybe having a crush on galo cuz she talks about him to her sister sometimes is added despite not holding much weight OR being Canon Confirmed but god forbid you put anything mentioning galo and lio being gay on there. i get it

[hearttstopper]

.

[mossyroach]

If I may add

Obsessed with insects and arachnids (somehow, his callsign has developed independently of it and he is delighted)

Steals shirts off of every person he likes and keeps them. Not to wear. Just to have.

Has been spotted in various strange circumstances (e.g. on top of things he should not be on top on, under things he has no business fitting under and in things he should not fit in. All exclusively at 3am. The recruits have diagnose him with 'being liquid', none of the 141 knows what that means.

He has gotten lost in the London Subway System more than once. Everyone thinks that Roach can't take a single train without getting lost until they pick him up from the police station for taking the actual tunnels to walk around in and get from place to place.

He also can't navigate train schedules which is why he started doing that but that is beside the point

Has been caught gnawing on sticks (through his balaclava) and he's always had a surprisingly plausible explanation. It has never been the same explanation though. Some think he's bullshitting. Some think it's legit. It's damn creative either way.

Probably collects weird shit. Like, Ghost enters his room and thinks everything is alright but then he opens a drawer and there's a bunch of "interestingly shaped glass shards", meticulously labelled. Roach takes all his strange collections very seriously, cataloguing his finds and writing whole essays on them. Soap made the mistake of touching a (possibly gnawed on) stick once and Unfortunate Things started happening to him for a week.

When Unfortunate Things start happening around base, it's always Roach. Nobody can prove it but oh, all your left socks go missing? Your favourite cutlery in the cafeteria is somehow always gone? Your cheese sandwich suddenly has butter on it? You can be certain you pissed Roach off and you better make it right

Roach headcanons because he’s actually my favorite

Has an obnoxiously bright pink flip phone that is his main phone

He has the entirety of DOOM on said flip phone and plays it constantly. How? Nobody knows

Drinks out of puddles

May be silent but is super chaotic and sassy

Will talk around people he feels safe with, including Soap, Gaz, and Ghost

Takes photos of Ghost like he’s a cryptid

Constantly begs for cuddles from Ghost or Gaz, just because

Will randomly go up to privates and tell them something cryptic and then say “no one will ever believe you”

LIVES for drama. If there’s tea, he’s the first to know

Loves bugs and will collect them

Has adhd and autism

Fell out of a tree as a kid and has a scar from that. It’s his favorite scar

lives off 2010 white girl music

Drives scarily good

Adores twinkies

Has the best music taste and is always on aux

Can’t dance for shit

[stuck-in-jelly]

Not to be problematic but

I like cute cartoons without constant violence because it calms and makes me happy and people who enjoy them for the same reason shouldn't be harassed????