#left unsupervised

[icollectfunnyquotes]

Cody if you don’t want to be a furry, get over here

…

guys, what furry do we think Cody should be? I think you’ll make a pretty great wolf

[itiswhatitis--love]

[see-arcane]

Harding, left the room for 0.02 seconds: "Finished the monster check and the girls are in bed, so where were we--"

The Hutters, in the middle of his foyer:

Harding: ...

The servants, with their watches out: "They haven't stopped to breathe yet. We've got a crowbar to get them apart if they start turning blue."

[starmocha]

the polite thing for Zayne to do is masturbate in his home office to his wife's sexy pregnancy polaroids, knowing all of the changes happening to her is because of him.

he can't stop marveling by how she had swelled up beautifully in just a few months, her body so voluptuous now, round and heavy with his baby.

her breasts are bigger now, and soon they will have milk for his baby, but for now, he loves being the one to suckle on those sensitive nipples, loves grabbing, groping, squeezing her tender breasts until she squeals his name again and again.

just because she's bigger now doesn't mean he will stop wanting her. if anything, he wants her more. wants to feel that sweet pussy around him, wants to feel his child moving in her womb as he fucks her just as intensely as when he had bred her before her pregnancy. he knows she's going to enjoy giving in to him, letting him take her as often as he would like, because she just wants to please him and be his pretty little breeding slut.

and she is just that—so fucking pretty, all knocked up with his baby, a dirty secret between him and her that no one will ever know about as they congratulate the esteemed young doctor and his beautiful and heroic wife for their growing family.

no one will ever know how many times he had bred her. how many times he had punished her for her audacious antics and made her fuck herself on his cock, always emptying into her, always making sure he stays buried in her to make sure his seed would take in her fertile womb. no one will ever know of how often he had dreamt of breeding her, how this fantasy of his had come true, and how she herself kept encouraging him, her own desires matching his in such a perverted way.

his pretty little wife, his baby in her belly, getting bigger and bigger each month as she nears her due date. he wants to meet his child, this beautiful little baby he had created with her, the proof of his love for her, but he also wants to keep her this way. wants her to always carry that cute little belly she would tease him with, rubbing suggestively, knowing his eyes would follow every caress.

keep her like this. knocked up with his baby. keep her like this. fuck another child into her. fuck her again and again and—

he accidentally gets a little loud and is caught by her just as he comes all over the polaroids.

he's only a little embarrassed, his smirk meeting her startled gaze, her own eyes glazing over with arousal at seeing the way her husband desired her still. he could see a twinkle of mischievousness in her eye. he knows what she wants.

he made such an obscene mess so now he should do the courteous thing and let his beautiful pregnant wife bounce on his massive cock while he experiences the real thing and feels her up, murmuring to her about all of his dirty fantasies he wants to make come true with her, how he knows she would let him indulge, because she is his good girl, his darling, beautiful wife, who is the perfect breeding slut just for him, her dear, sweet Zaynie.

[wantonlywindswept]

release the kraken corries

okay so imagine that like a year or so into the war palpatine thinks 'actually i would prefer to have my future apprentice more nearby for corrupting' so he decides to recall anakin and the 501st to coruscant, because they definitely need their best jedi defending the front and oh wouldn't you look at that, a certain senator is always there too! wins all around!

but now the 501st is bored out of their minds and need something to do and anakin won't let them go back out onto the front because they're his, so the excellent solution?

the 501st replace the corries! clones are interchangeable anyway, right?

and even though the corries haven't seen frontline battle it's fiiine even if they get wiped out, bc palps has what he wants on coruscant now

and it's not like the corries have ever needed a jedi so why would they need one now? so they're given to some whatever-admiral and booted out to go join the frontline rotations, problem solved.

within 3 days the corries have either manipulated the admiral into thinking he's calling all the shots when it's actually fox or they've introduced him to an unfortunate airlock malfunction, so sad, couldn't have happened to a worse person

and with no jedi around they don't have anyone saying ridiculous shit like 'we should try negotiation first' or 'you can't assassinate every political leader on the planet'

(alpha 17 bullies his way on board within a week)

and they start blasting around the galaxy Getting Shit Done and it is maybe not the best in terms of optics but wow those clone death toll numbers sure do go down

and one of the times they (grudgingly) work with another battalion the other clones are going 'what the absolute shit' while the corries steamroll over everything in their path, an absolutely feral group of highly-trained shock troopers used to fighting dirty and utilizing insane tactics from years on coruscant FINALLY able to take out their frustrations on the unsuspecting galaxy separatists

Cody, halfheartedly, the Jedi Council making encouraging motions just out of sight of holocall: Fox could you please tone it down a little.

Fox, sipping a spimosa at some sleezy separatist's castle he just took over: How about no.

Cody, hissing through gritted teeth: I am so fucking envious of you right now.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 109

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-” Tim chanted to himself, looking down at his cup of tea in betrayal. Was he hallucinating, had he been drugged with something? He had slept last night! 

Yet there in their own Lazarus Pit, the one in the cave not the giant one somewhere under the rest of Gotham, was a literal baby, looking just as surprised as he was. Of course that didn’t last, and its face scrunched up as it started to cry, which was his first hint that no, this was not in fact a hallucination. 

 There was a pit baby in the Lazarus pool. 

. . .

 There was a pit baby in the Lazarus pool. 

OH FUCK, there was a pit baby in the freaking Lazarus pool- 

[anyacrypha]

She has a point, you know

[bachaboska]

SAS Rogue Heroes text posts #2

[deadsetobsessions]

The first person who asked me to put my writing on AO3, thank you for your appreciation and I'm honored to have a piece of my work considered so highly... but also count your days bc I genuinely believe my life spiraled after posting that first chapter. The curse is real, and that website is like moldavite istg.

----

Tim made a miscalculation.

He wasn’t aware of the true nature of Deathstroke’s tension with his older brother until he witnessed it first hand.

Creep. He thought uncharitably, nay, spitefully.

No. Absolutely the fuck not.

He ruined Catalina’s life. Considering Deathstroke had no life, Tim will just have to go the extra step to end it. So what if the man was Ra’s former student and one of the best assassins around? Tim used to foil League plots for shits and giggles. Maybe the 8 year old Tim of old would never have considered going against a big baddie, but 24 year old Tim ran circles around bigger fish.

Tim scowled, stowing away his binoculars before shimmying down the fire escape. He counted at least three propositions! In the five minutes they were duking it out! His big brother was too bright for those losers! Maybe he could get Sandra Wu-San to do something about her fellow student? Or Tim could hit two assassins with one Robin and get David Cain to murder Deathstroke while nabbing Cass?

Ooo, he likes that idea. Maybe he'll get lucky and they'll kill each other while fighting and then Tim won't have to worry about how to keep Cain away from Tim's sister.

Bruce would have been disappointed about how cavalier his approach was in terms of preservation of life, but Tim had always thought that ideology applied to his days as a Bat-affiliated vigilante. And since Tim was an itty bitty civilian instead of an (older, taller) ass kicking vigilante, Tim has concluded that Bruce's mildly irritating morality didn't apply to him in his current state. Besides, it wasn't like he was an angel during his tenure as Robin anyways.

"Guess I gotta embezzle some more money." Tim grimly put his backpack to his front and ran to catch the first bus home. Too bad. Deathstroke had proven useful.

————

David Cain leaned against a transport cargo box, breathing heavily from wounds. His commission was done, and the amount promised would allow him to buy an island and then some. His fellow student laid at his feet. His bank account was fuller than Ra's, he was sure.

He never sees the tranquilizer dart coming.

And really, Tim’s had enough experience to hide the mark from the dart and more than enough to murder the man and make it seem like he bled out.

——

“Odd.”

“Tell me about it.” Nightwing crouched, his sparkly costume hidden partially in the shadows. “Why’d they have to duke it out here?” He whined. Honestly, he’s been down in the dumps with what happened to Jason but having Deathstroke dead and gone for good was a balm to his soul.

“Hn.” It’s true. Bruce knew that it was weird Ra’s al Ghul’s students would murder each other like this. He searched the bodies, lifting up a burner phone and a bunch of weapons.

“Can’t you say something other than monosyllabic grunts, B?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to?”

“…No.” Bruce made a funny and seemed rather proud of himself.

Duck stared at him. He lifted a hand, watching Bruce’s face fall into dread.

Dick pulled the zipper down on the top of his costume down to his navel, flaring the collar and exposing his mesh covered chest.

“No.”

“Fuck you.” Dick flips away, leaving a despondent Batman behind with two dead bodies.

In the distance, the girl who would be come Cassandra Cain took the hands of a boy who would become here brother.

Tim Drake grinned, like an adorable, blood frenzied baby shark.

[jessenitrogen]

toby fucking kills varvatos.png, based off of this (hiii)

Dialogue typed out:

Varvatos: TOBIAS, HIT VARVATOS AS HARD AS YOU CAN.

Toby: Alright, if you say so old man!

DONK

Toby: OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

Krel: He'll be fine, he survived a death beam.

[yukennico]

had this in mind for a while

[fern--theplant]

fuck it. komahina gingerbread cookies

[tillywunderwing]

“paper type siffrin is not real and cannot hurt you”

WRONG!!

they are rapidly approaching your location.

[miximyx]

from last nights session

[genericpuff]

What's your name from? I always thought it was the Powerpuff girls for some reason. Like the fourth powerpuff.

that's it, that's the joke, it's just from a family guy still that i used for a comic name once like 10 years ago and then brought back from the dead when i needed an alt name for my covert shitposting LMAO i wish i had a cooler answer for you but alas