#lee is like a full time mom especially as he gets to know more of the ta demigods

[thestarstoasun]

Michael being a menace to Luke is always one my fav things.

The only thing keeping him from trying to kill Luke is Lee, and Lee is fully aware of it gfhdg

The second Lee gets hurt from typical Titan shenanigans I imagine Michael loses it. He's taking that man's kneecaps.

Menace Michael is my favorite. We saw little glimpses of it in Last Olympian and I love to be able to expand on it

Lee literally has to play mediator or Michael will be fighting. He's literally praying on Luke's downfall every day. I imagine him burning his offerings and going, "Please Dad, give me the chance to break Luke's kneecaps."

[seventhcallisto]

A PROMISE IS A SWEAR ! giom — chpt. 1

Synopsis. Matz gains a new district and a new member. The same member who trails a bunny to the den and introduces the beginning of obsession for the leaders.

Warnings. Violence. Physical harm. Und3rag3 tattooing. Teenagers(that needs it's own tw). Gang symbols. cigarett3 b3rn. Harm. And emotional harm and arguing. Please read giom masterlist before continuing.

Tuesday.

Positively, you were furious. After a not so nice call from a local man you know —your neighbor to be exact— you were mumbling up a storm. Excusing yourself through the last hour of your job just so you could catch a certain someone in the act.

With your work uniform on and a scowl on your face. Hiking up a hill through a run-down alleyway full of creeps and illegal activities. You finally caught sight of the person you'd been there to catch.

"Get off of me!" You snatched the teenager up by his arm, pinching him through his hoodie. "Jihoon, if you don't walk your skinny ass legs down this hill, I'll drag you," you stomped your heel clad foot, whisper yelling at the young man.

Jihoon was always causing problems, so threatening him like this was most likely not going to get him to listen. His face shriveled up. "You're not my mom!" He hissed back, equally furious - most likely due to the fact you had just pulled him from his group of boyfriends. Right in the middle of selling a pair of off branded shoes- and as soon as they saw you - pretended nothing was going on.

Irritation, through a false guise of shock, littered their faces as you tore and prodded the younger man away from his group of mis fit friends.

"Lee Jihoon," you whisper yelled to him this time, turning his body towards you. You take on the anger in his eyes with a frustrated scowl to clash. "Go and tell your friends you'll see them later, We're going home."

His face was turning red from embarrassment. But he knew you wouldn't back down, especially how stubborn he knows you to be. He smacked your palm off his jacket, huffing out a breath of air and turning towards the group he's with.

Within a few more seconds, he was storming past you. Hunched and full of anger as he made his way out of the entrance of the alleyway.

"Do you understand what you're doing, jihoon? It's illegal!" His footsteps rang loud on the wood of the apartment, ignoring your words- hardly bothering to take off his shoes at the entrance.

Before you could get out another frantic sentence out, he was turning his entire body your way, a snarl to his lips that resembled a dog. "What does it matter!? You're never home anyway! The cops can't pin shit on me-"

"Watch your mouth!" You yelled back, eyes widening. "I'm never home cause I am working! Don't you get that? These nice things you have- the school you go to! I have to pay for all of it somehow!" You gestured to his bedroom, posters and nick nacks littered about. "If I don't work, you can't have these things," your eyebrows furrowed. It was always so frustrating talking to him- with the exact copy of his mother's attitude.

He scoffed, "Whatever" he walked away from you, closing his door with a harsh slam.

These little outbursts would burn and simmer, like the crust on a volcano.

You stepped outside- to have a moment to yourself. Calming down from such a heightened situation- it wasn't good for you to let it bubble. But with jihoon- raising him, it was hard.

The silence of the evening gave you some peace of mind. And despite the situation of your day. You were beginning to feel relaxed, listening to the crickets and the distant sound of cars- cats- and the occasional dog barking.

"Tough day?" Changbin beckoned your attention, his large arms crossed over the balcony, you glanced to your door, having realized he heard everything.

"Yes- well, tough to my standards anyway." You laughed lightly, sighing. Changbin tilted his head at you, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "If it helps.. I know a lot of guys who went through this rebellious phase." he gestured to your apartment door, seemingly talking about jihoon. "They usually outgrow it, yknow, teenagers always act out. I know, I sure did."

You chortle at that. Palming your head as you looked out over the city, finally, you turned to meet changbins eyes, his presence having grown closer, right next to you on the railing. Comfortably, you sat with him for a second longer. "You? Rebellious?" You grinned. The fun- gentle man next to you, the one you've known for at least four years. And still have yet to properly get to know each other.

He laughed, his face scrunching. "What? Do I not seem rebellious enough?" He nudged your shoulder with his elbow, pouting. You laughed again. "No, no, I just wasn't expecting that, considering you're a -" You stopped short, remembering what jihoon had said earlier, you cleared your throat in the silence. He finished for you, glancing out to the city as well. "A cop?"

He leaned back over the railing with a sigh, nodding his head. "I heard that too. He's a bit cocky, considering he lives next to one." Changbin murmured. You shook your head, embarrassed on behalf of the teenager under your care. "I'm sorry-" "don't be. I gave my mom a hard time, too. He'll learn." The man shrugged off your apology, another drag of his cigarette, before he dabbed it out, fiddling with the end.

"But I'm not his mom. He has a reason to give me a hard time." You sighed heavily, letting the words flow before you cut them off, biting your lip. Changbin noticed, he's a keen man, a detailed man, it was a part of his job. He shook his head, twisting his body towards you.

Before he could come up with a sentence, you smiled gently. "Thanks for calling me, I hate when he does that" you groaned, remembering how upsetting it was to witness the young man attempt to brute force his way into getting another schoolmate to buy the pair of shoes they laid out.

Whatever jihoon had been doing wasn't legal. And you knew- you know. So, of course, changbin would know too - he was a cop after all, a detective to be exact, it was his job to notice these things. "Maybe a little juvie would do him some good," you sighed, a poor attempt at a joke- yet changbin still laughed heartily.

"If you need someone to scare the piss outta him, let me know, I've got a few people in mind." Changbin pocketed the end of his cigarette, bumping your elbow with his just as he left.

Wednesday. Always full of woe.

The downpour of rain filtered out the chatter of the company hongjoong was kept in. Barked laughter and forced smiles as the people around him conversed. The only person to take any interest in it was on his right. Seonghwa could make up excuses for the lack of attention his partner was providing. But the grin on the peak of hongjoongs cupids bow was driving Hwa wild with curiosity.

"What has you so happy?" The taller of the two murmured under his breath, his companion heard it - and with a clear of his throat, peaked over his glasses to the dark-haired man. "I'll tell you later"

Seonghwa sighed, bringing his glass of champagne to his lips. "Later couldn't come sooner," he replied with a sigh.

Hongjoong was in a better mood than he had been any other time of the week, with the stress that comes with a business- especially as big as this one- he could finally catch a breath of fresh air.

With one long sigh, the car door finally snapped shut, with seonghwa sitting right beside him.

"Where to?" Jongho, the leaders trusted men (and occasional driver) asked as he glanced through the rear view mirror, his brown hair framing his eyes. Hongjoongs smile perked up, seonghwa had noticed. "You know where jongho" hongjoong waved his question off with a smile, shrugging into his large fur coat.

Seonghwas attention turned back to the blonde seated next to him. "So? Where to?" Seonghwa copied jongho, questioning the shorter- yet beaming man. Hongjoong shifted in his seat, his grin faltering when his tongue poked his cheek. "You'll see." hongjoong kept the secret, seonghwa could argue– but it was typical of the younger to be so secretive sometimes.

Once the sleek black car had rolled to a stop. The evening had set, and finally, the moon was beginning to cast its beams across the streets. Seonghwa took notice of the passing buildings. Unease, unsure of the surroundings- matz hadn't stepped this far out of their comfort zone in a while unless there was a meeting. So the rural area, compared to the city, was a stark contrast to his scenery setting.

Practically bouncing out of his seat, hongjoong ushered seonghwa out of his own as soon as the fur covered man swung open his door. Of course- he was happy about something. And seonghwa was beginning to have a clue.

His eyebrow tilted up at the bubbly, shade wearing man- contrasting against seonghwa who was dressed in the best suit for the earlier occasion. He pocketed his hands, watching hongjoong with curious eyes.

In his right, hongjoong spun with the proudest grin on his face. Gesturing to the open area, a park, where seonghwa had recalled only ever passing by once- back when they were meeting with another acquaintance. Hongjoong beckoned the older man over, lacing his hands over a railing, with one other foot on the steps. He stood proudly over the peering hill, a grin still prominent on his face.

Ah. That's what it was. "You could have just told me," seonghwa mentioned with a sigh, running his hand over his hair and fixing any loose threads. Joong chuckled, "it wouldn't be special that way" he sighed, leaning on the railing- childishly, unable to sit still. Seonghwa laughed airily. "I suppose so, considering it's a wide district." Seonghwa murmured, taking his spot next to the blonde.

Hongjoong shifted his body towards the taller, still looking out over the railing at the quiet below. "It's ours now." Hongjoong whispered, almost unable to believe it himself- crime wasn't easy in this area, the cops were strict, which ended up with tight attitudes and unwilling participants.

But finally, hongjoong found a willing distributor, and he seemed permanent for the time being- until he could be replaced.

"I've got a few of them out here already, watching." Hongjoong gestures to four distinct areas, seonghwa perched his arms on the rail. Glittery lights catching every which way. He turned his attention back to the ecstatic man. "And who's watching them?" He hummed.

There was hardly any trust for the underlings, not to say they weren't loyal to the cause, just that they were easily swayed and amateurs, so of course, seonghwa had to ask.

"Mingi"

Seonghwa took in a hiss of breath, the most loyal of all- a little clumsy though. Hongjoong could sense seonghwas thought. "This one is his. He practically begged for it." Joong sniffled a laugh, recalling the plead of the other member. "He said he could take care of it."

There was a silence for a moment before seonghwa spoke up.

"Do you trust him?" He asked. Hongjoong tilted his head, sliding his glasses to lay on the top of his head. He turned his face towards seonghwa for the first time during their conversation, and nodded.

"I trust you, don't I?" Hongjoong answered.

Thursday.

The following day was just as bad as you thought. Things may seem easier the next morning. But jihoon had still ignored you, even as you prepared him a breakfast along with his fresh uniform. A scowl on his pouty- still childish face. It made you want to turn in and wave the white flag.

So, when you sit at the empty kitchen table, staring at the packaged food –that had been coldly left behind– and reminiscing on how you could hardly get the same treatment from your parents growing up, do you begin to feel the ache of missing your best friend.

You couldn't dwell on it. Not when you had work.

Jihoon is as difficult as his mother. Purgatory thoughts playing in your mind over and over. Although your best friend Lia wasn't shy from being mean - borderline - a bully, she was still loyal and caring, and she loved jihoon. She would have had the best lines to say and tell; to convince him to get his act straight. But she wasn't here. And as his godmother, you had the responsibility to play mommy.

You really wished she was here. She'd know how to take care of these things. You've always been the softer one in the duo.

It's past 12, and you have an early shift tomorrow. You sit at the kitchen table, dazed and daydreaming as you wait. When you think over what could be happening, bile rises in your stomach. Jihoon hasn't returned home, and his phone is apparently off. He has been gone for hours. More so than usual.

What can you even do?

The front door is quietly unlocked in the silence.

You spring from the kitchen chair, watching the door be pushed in, followed by a hooded figure who doesn't bother to flicker on any of the lights.

Your hands are spinning him around the next second, although jihoon is taller than you- the veracity of your movement tugs him to face you.

You pull the hood down next, glaring his bruised face in-between broken orbs and clenched teeth, looking at the fresh cuts along his lip and nose. "Where have you been?" You say, as calmly as you can muster. Jihoons shoulders fall. "Out," he mustered, shrugging his shoulder past you to pull off his jacket.

You pull him back by his upper arm before he can go any farther. He winces but makes no move to push you off. His head is tilted towards the floor, and his breathing is labored - tired from whatever activity he had just gotten up to.

"Jihoon, your mom wouldn't want this -" his hand snakes out of your grasp as if you burnt him. "What did you just say?" He scoffs, clicking his tongue. You don't falter. "Yo-" "No, no, you don't get to do that. You don't get to use that against me cause I don't even know what she was like." You go to cut him off. "You know that's not true-"

His foot meets the stool as he kicks it frustrated, a silent curse coming from his mouth.

"I don't know if anything you say is true, I don't even know if you're really someone she'd leave me with to take care of. It's all just bullshit anyway, right?" His snarky tone wavers, his throat pinching close the longer he stays on this subject.

"I'm going to bed" he brushes you off once more when you attempt to reach out.

And you have the same lump in your throat. You don't know what to say yourself. You don't know how to fix this. You don't know what you're doing.

Friday.

Halfway through your shift, do you get another dreadful call- voice-mail this time, since you can't answer your phone during school hours. On the other end is changbin- but this time, he's just dropping information off for you.

"Hey y/n, I'm sorry to be telling you this, but -" he takes a heavy sigh, "one of my colleagues told me about seeing a kid similar to jihoon.. coming from this new operation we're in the middle of. It's a big nightclub - full of colors - hell, you can see it from a mile away, so just ask around. It just got up and running, we - don't tell anyone I said this - but we're looking at charges if he happens to be caught in there. It's not safe for him. that's all. Call me when you get this- we can go together. Do not go on your own. I'll talk to you later."

The end of Friday is full of dread. The streets are full of characters for the night. Fools and drunks and corner girls and the occasional normal group of friends, no matter who it is- you ask.

"The club full of bright lights?"

A man finally repeats your question. He's not entirely sober, nor is he blackout either. He points over his shoulder, giving lazy directions. But as you go, you thank him. Changbin was right. You couldn't miss it from a mile now that you were in a neighboring alleyway- heaving from having run everywhere to find this place.

The front is guarded with men in jackets, smoking cigarettes, and scaring the stragglers who stare a little longer than they should.

You power through, attempting to blend in with a crowd of rowdy girls who are easily let in- You're stopped by the collar of your shirt, pulled out of it and faced to face with a scarred man, eyeing you up and down.

"Are you trying to sneak in? Hey, why didn't you just ask to be let in? What kind of shit are ya trying to pull?" His heavy palm smacks your cheek, pat pat, your skin reverbs from the tiny hits- its a slap to your pride in a way. You scowl at the stranger.

"Theres someone in there I need to get" you defend yourself, pushing the man off your collar. His snarky grin drops into a scowl, the cigarette dangling from the corner of his lip dangerously. "I'm not buying that princess." The man flicks the ash your way, glancing to the other man on the door.

Your appearance is a contrast to everyone else. Your in your best dress for parent-teacher day, having cut it short to find jihoon. You stick out like a sore thumb. Fuck. You're really not getting past this guy.

You had to do something.

"He's underage! He's a kid, a kid shouldnt be in there- If I can't go in and get him- I'm gonna call the cops!" You're making a scene now- you're panicking, you have no idea if jihoon is okay, no idea whether or not he's doing drugs or getting himself hurt.

You're scared for him. But the glance in both of the men's eyes is your top worry. Threats about the cops coming around seems to gather attention, onlookers glancing your way and beginning to crowd the front door. "Cops?" The first man laughs, snatching your arm up with an icy grip that has you hissing in pain. "Are you threatening us? Ma'am, that's not proper. We're running a business here." His tone is attempting to be lighthearted, but the danger behind his grip and smile is driving the breath out of your lungs.

You're dragged inside by the same guy, the lights, the music- everything screams danger with this situation, not only that but the faces- the troubled people around here is nothing safe. You catch glimpses of people snorting different color substances off each table, tiny shiny and distinct pills littered around. Smoke and the burning smell of cigarettes- and something else, something heavy and damp, funky smelling. Earthy. You body makes contact with the door to a room and you're pushed into it abruptly.

Your feet stumble forward towards the middle of the room, where you finally find your balance. Cards are placed on a wide and round glass table and this place smells the worse of the earthy smoke, it clings to every surface, making you cough. When you do, the man in the center of the red velvet couch in front of you peaks up over his glasses.

His hair is white- silver almost, long enough to tuck behind his ears. He gestures with a ringed finger to the man with you to speak.

"She's threatening to talk to the cops."

"She a regular?"

"No, never seen her around here before"

The silver haired man takes a heavy sigh,, he parts from the woman and men around him to meet you face to face. He's tall- intimidating. His height is no joke. He scans you up and down with dark eyes. Emotions you can't grasp on his features.

Whoever the people are, they aren't bothering to look your way, quiet and head down. Sheep's amongst a wolf. He's obviously in charge here. "Look- I don't know who you are but you have kids in here- this isn't a place they should be-"

The flicker of a lighter sounds through the quiet room. The sound of music muffled behind the door gaurded by the man and another. You watch the silver haired stranger take a drag of a cigarette after flipping his lighter closed, the red pulse of light igniting in front of you, it silences you quickly.

"Listen." He starts with a hum, nodding his head as the smoke hits your face, he takes your hand in his, gently patting his large, calloused fingers over yours. You hesitate to let him have it, unsure of his motive. "I understand your concern, but we don't have kids here sweetheart, we don't allow that. Youth is important to our future, right? Isn't that what everyone thinks?" He glances around shortly, switching out the hand holding the cigarette to cage your palm in-between. You can feel the heat of it, see the ash starting to form at the top.

"That's not true." You whisper. His eyes squint. "You calling me a liar?" He murmurs, stepping closer.

"I'm calling bullshit" you hold your head high.

It's silent. Air so tense and thick, you can't tell if it's the smoke or the feeling lingering in your chest. But this man, he's not safe. None of this is. And you're really testing your luck here. "I need-" you start again. But the sudden burn of specks on the back of your hand makes you whimper in pain, attempting to draw back your limb from the man.

He holds it tightly in his, flicking ash onto the back of it, the sting makes you hiss, before he brings the cigarette back to his full lips, your fingers pale from the force.

He takes a drag, blowing it in your face once again.

"I don't like being called a liar." He pouts into his words, dusting the ash across your skin with his thumb, a warning at most. But it stings slightly when he flips your palm over to examine the lines.

"You come in here and threaten my place, I've only been nice to you this entire time." He holds his free hand over his heart. "What do you want exactly, sweetheart?" He squints down at you. The nickname makes your stomach lurch uncomfortably.

"I told the guy at the front. There's someone in here i need-" "and who is that someone?" You go quiet, squinting up your nose at him. He stares back for the next seconds. One.. two.. three-

There's the stinging burn to your palm, it aches and you screech in pain. Attempting to bring your hand back from the heat. A cigarette that is searing into the soft skin in the middle of your palm. You wail at it, a pain so uncomfortable you forgot it even felt real. The ash darkens when he puts it out. Smearing it across your palm. His eyes are unlike what you've seen, no remorse or mercy, just evil.

"I'm not going to ask again. Giving me attitude when I've been sweet-" "i-im not please-" you beg, anything to stop the pain and sting on your palm, to get the man before you to stop before he does something else, something worse. "Shh, quiet, I'm talking." he pats his palm over the open wound. You whimper once more, tears welling in your eyes. It hurts.

Before his lips fall open again. The door behind you swings open.

It's the other man from the front door. Followed by.. a few individuals, you can hardly see with the blur in your eyes.

"Raeun?" The second man to walk through questions. He's taller- his body adorned in what seems to be the closest thing to a suit. A pair of glasses and short- almost buzzcut black and blonde hair. Raeun- the man who grips your palm looses his grip, and you pull it as quickly as you can to your chest.

"Mingi" he huffs. "Come to join so soon?" He laughs, glancing to you. The man, from towards the entrance does the same. "Yeah, Came as soon as I got the go ahead" mingi replies plainly, walking further into the room. "Leave" he gestures to the people across the couch.

An array of limbs and people pass you, but- when you turn to leave, you're stopped by him. "You, stay." Mingi swings his finger out to call you over to him. Gesturing to the couch.

You really don't know what's going on. But mingi is gentle as he grabs your palm, glancing for approval- you don't respond.

"Seonghwa said no more burns, whats this then?" Mingi tilts the wound towards raeun. The same man scoffs. "She said she was gonna call the cops." "And you think this was gonna stop her?" Mingi groans, letting your hand go. You cradle it back to your chest, watching the tall man step up to raeun.

"Get your shit and go, you're out" mingi turns on his heel, stepping back out of the silver man's way to let him leave. Raeun scoffs loudly, "you can't kick me out of here, I made this place what it is-"

"Yeah and where did that lead you?" Mingi waves his hand out to the club. Raeuns face drops even further into anger. "Fuck- is this about her? We can just pay the bitch off-"

"Raeun" mingi hisses his name. The tension could be cut with a knife and you try everything to make yourself smaller in it. "Get. Out." Mingi points to the door.

Raeuns fit seems to cease, a smile creeping up his skinny features. "Oh, you got the position didn't you? The captain finally gave you something huh?" Raeun laughs loudly, holding his stomach that pokes out of a silky cheetah print shirt.

"Which means you're out." Mingi confirms. "Go." He says once more, it's a threat, the tone speaks for itself. Raeun doesn't bother once more, kicking the door open on his way out.

Your heart drops when the door slams shut behind him. Your labored breath calming to accommodate the quiet in the room. Mingi heaves a heavy sigh, taking a seat on the far side of the couch. His hand rakes through his messy hair, parting the spikes to docile them down. With a single hand in his hair and another reaching out for a glass- presumably full of whiskey, mingi finally glances your way.

You're a shaking aching mess, it doesn't take a genius to notice you're not for this lifestyle. You're dressed like a librarian in the midst of a nightclub for fuck's sake. Your palm is clutched tightly, as if you're attempting to squeeze the pain away. Your eyebrows are knitted and you're curled into yourself. Lost in thought.

"What are you doing here?" Mingi breaks the silence. You jump, turning your head his way.

"I'm looking for someone." You quietly answer. Mingi nods, lifting the whiskey to his lips. "Who?" He asks before he takes a gulp of the alcohol. "A boy, his- he goes by jihoon, he's five-eight- probably taller now- i - we haven't checked in a bit, he's got messy an-and curly black hair- it, well.. he hasn't let me trim it in a while and-" your rambles encourages a bubble in your throat, a sob beginning to form.

You could have gotten hurt worse, you still can, you could die here, you could be trafficked, mingi seems capable of it if he was able to test someone like raeun. And now the only thoughts in your mind are how you wish jihoon hadn't been mad, how you wish he could know you love him- in case you do happen to die, or end up missing. How the last thing you did with him was argue.

Your throat closes in when an image of the younger version of the boy shows up in your minds eye. The sob breaks out "he's just a kid, he's all i got- I'm all he's got, I don't want him here, please" you beg, for his sake, more than yours- mingi is so quiet, his aura is scary, he's not like anyone you've ever met before.

"Hey," he calls softly, your face twisting to see his. His eyes have caved, soft and understanding, his eyebrows furrowing. "I'm going to go get your boy, and you're not coming back. You hear me?"

Mingi makes his statement clear just as he gets up to leave.

The breath lodged in your throat exits as you nod. The dull ache of your hand plays at the back of your mind - finally, you'll be able to see jihoon, and you'll both leave.

You'll leave. Together.

There's no windows in this room. There is no light besides the TV in the corner. It flickers with a show you don't know, a familiar actor beating down on multiple men. Your eyes are blurry - and you wonder if you happen to have a first aid kit at home, possibly - if you haven't used all of the content on jihoon from his many fights and bruises. It feels like an eternity while you wait, hoping for light in the darkness.

You hope jihoons okay.

Your hope is answered when the door once again swings open. Mingi is holding jihoon by the scruff of his neck, pushing him into the room, but he sidesteps out of the way to let someone else in.

The cast of the club lights create a halo around the man, the beads of the entrance jingle when he steps inside, like crystals, the light bounces off every inch of the glass beads, illuminating the man in the fur coat from behind.

His hair is a vibrant blue, His nose has a define point, his lips are naturally plump- He's pretty. Which is a surprise. And you thought Raeun was the boss. No.. it's this man. With his cream colored fur coat and his tight leather jeans, a buckle with a silver star to top it off and a sheer black and white top. His shoes are leather, reptilian in design. A pair of dark glasses slotted against his forehead when he pushed them up. Your eyes meet.

It's dangerous. He's dangerous. Everything screaming. This is the type of man you'd see on TV, draped in luxurious brands and with a snarky attitude to come with it, a past- and scars along his figure, fuck- this guy is no good. He's a snake in man's skin. A wolf in sheep's clothing. And you can tell.

"Mingi" his eyes never stray from yours, as if stalking prey, his voice is light and inviting. Mingi glances his way, then yours with a silent response to the man "captain." He pushes jihoon forward and drags the hilt of his shirt up. You stand- to protest, to tell them don't touch him.

But the ink along jihoons skin is a sign of surprise. Of fear to your racing heart.

"Your boy here," the captain pats the young boy on his shoulder, jihoon grimaces, head down turned. "Has our symbol, he has the mark of ateez, and that means he won't be leaving anytime soon."

The lines of an 'A' are sharp, a circle to encase it, it spans almost the entirety of jihoons left pec. It's fresh ink. your stomach churns and twists. You think you're going to be sick.

"Jihoon is one of ours now." He finishes, clicking his tongue.

"Jihoon?" You quietly call. For him to say it's a joke, a sick one- but his face remains the same. Furrowed and ashamed.

Tears well up in your eyes once again. You've failed - failed as a guardian and failed your best friend. You failed the little boy you were given, and you've failed his father and future.

"Please. Please- okay- he's a child- he's only fourteen!" You plead with the man, slipping to your knees, desperate as you are- you're willing to do anything to prevent jihoon from throwing away his future.

The captains' fingers hold a coin- something you haven't seen before then. The men peer back at you in the dark of the room. "I-" "the ink is already there." He nudges jihoons left side, the boy groans in pain, most definitely sore.

"There's no changing that," he nods towards you, flicking the younger boy's cheek. His eyes are demeaning when he stares down at your figure. This all seems like a joke to him. With one final glance to your shaking body, the vibrant haired man turns away towards the door.

"Please. I'll do anything." You beg.

His steps falter. The coin makes contact with the metal of his rings as he plays with it. It dings every so often, like a clock in the silence over and over.

Clink, clink, clink, clink- ...

"Don't make promises you can't keep." You can hear the perk to the man's voice, a smile through his tone. "I can keep it." You confirm without another beat, gulping back your tongue.

"I can keep my promises."

"I swear on my heart."

[jnnul]

in another lifetime... (nct dream)

a/n: mark’s is a little too long...this was originally a fic for him but it, uh, turned into a dreamies fic idk how either word count: 2.6k genre: fluff

in another lifetime, mark lee would be a novelist. he would be writing manuscript after manuscript about dragons and oceans and crossing oceans on dragons. he would be quiet, oftentimes just scribbling away on some fat stack of papers. mark would be handsome, in that nerdy and almost innocent way. he would push his glasses further up on his nose bridge, always meaning to get new glasses and then never getting a chance to.

mark wouldn’t drink coffee (his parents didn’t like him drinking coffee) so he would just sip a cup of hot chocolate milk ceremoniously. he would bring his own tumbler every time to that hole in the wall coffee shop he frequented because as much as he loves his parents, he doesn’t want other people to know that he’s 23 and he’s still drinking hot chocolate.

you would probably be the barista at said hole in the wall coffee shop. owned by your close friend’s mom, every time you would come home from college, you would come help out your friend and her mother at the shop. all the regulars would know you by name because you’ve always got this kind smile and welcoming air about you.

fitting that you would be a secondary education major, many people would muse, especially when you would set about making some absolutely monstrous drink without so much as batting your pretty eyes.

mark, in particular, would be so intrigued by your ambiance that he begins to write you into his stories without even realizing. suddenly, the main character has a lilt in their voice like you do. and even the villain flashes award-winning smiles to their henchmen every so often.

needless to say, mark would be smitten. crushes are probably foreign to mark. for as long as mark has been able to pronounce the word ‘crush’ he had denounced the idea altogether. inseparable with his legal pad filled with random ideas, mark would write down everything he saw and felt - and subsequently, the fleeting passion would fade into doodles and sketches of forgotten characters.

but somehow, you would be different. maybe it’s way you remember exactly how mark likes his hot chocolate by his third time ordering it, or the fact that you call out, “one latte for mr. lee!” even though you both know full well that there is no latte in the tumbler you have just filled up.

either way, mark would probably hand you a letter one august evening, a couple weeks before you head back for your last year of college, and needless to say, you say yes to the question in the letter.

“be the main character in my life and go on a date with me?”

in another life time, renjun is an artist. he’s still up and coming but he’s got talent and eye for beauty that not many people have. he’s almost as beautiful as the landscapes that he draws, with the same twinkle in his eyes and the slight upward tilt to his lips. but his artwork is something else.

as beautiful as renjun is, you can’t take your eyes away from his art. there would be some with vivid blues and reds and greens that should clash in a way that such bold colors do but somehow renjun makes it work. there would be some with muted colors, reflecting the struggles that renjun has seen and faced during his lifetime, evoking sadness in even the casual passerby. and there would be some that just showed how madly in love renjun was with you.

you would probably be his childhood sweetheart. someone who, although they appreciated the arts, worked a stable, well-paying job. someone who cared more about putting food on the table and supporting their partner in their passions than perhaps pursuing your own passions. renjun would probably argue with you, especially when he’s going through artist’s block or his paintings aren’t selling. 

he’s worried for you after all. “it’s selfish of me to continue to paint when it’s not paying the rent. you should get to follow your own passions too.” he would say, brushing away the tears in his eyes as he looks at a half-finished canvas that you started back in high school. you had never quite gotten around to finishing it. but every time he felt that way, you would put a hand on renjun’s cheek and tilt his face towards yours gently.

gentle, so gentle. everything about you was gentle. your touch, your smile, your love. and you would press a soft, almost fleeting kiss to his cheek. “i am following my passion, renjun. i would follow you to the ends of the earth.”

and that would be that. renjun would be an exuberant lover. he was, after all, an artist and what are artists without their emotions? often times, renjun’s mood would fluctuate with the painting he was working on (or vice versa) and every single time, you would bring him back to the earth with a knowing look and a loving touch. renjun brought the color and passion into your life that you don’t think that you would have otherwise.

and he would give you the love of a lifetime. nothing less, of course, for his muse.

in another lifetime, jeno would be a teacher. throughout his childhood, jeno would be a good student - not at the absolute pinnacle of academic achievement - but he would make the top ten list of students almost every single year up all the way through high school. and then he’s faced with college and deciding what field he wants to go into and he’s stuck.

throughout his life, he has been a pretty normal kid, according to himself. he was good at studying but he was only good enough at it to go to a decent school. he liked sports but he liked having a real job more and then again, he was also just good enough that. he was alright in pretty much everything so he ended up committing to nothing and becoming a teacher.

anybody can tell that his heart’s not in though. for some reason, for all of the ways that jeno lee had thought himself to be just average, he feels as though he’s restricted himself to a role that he’s too big for.

until he actually starts teaching - then it feels like the earth has opened up underneath him when he steps into his first classroom full of fourteen year olds, all with bright eyes and curious minds. and jeno falls in love with something for the first time. he loves that he gets to walk into a classroom and foster children into pursuing their passions and interests. he goes to every sporting event, marching band concert, salsa y salsa night that he’s invited to. he sponsors three clubs (robotics, fashion club, and songwriters association) that he knows next to nothing about just because he can’t get over the fact that these kids trust him with their carefully guarded passions and promises to themselves.

he sees so much in each and every student and walks out of every parent teacher conference with glowing recommendations and referrals because it’s so obvious to everyone that he truly cares. and as much as he’s appreciative for all of the care and attention he gets from all of the parents, it’s different when it comes from you.

you’re the parent to one of jeno’s favorite students, a shy and quiet student who was very intelligent and well-mannered but slow to participate in class. and jeno’s well-aware that it’s inappropriate to think this during a parent teacher conference but when you walk in the room, the only thing that jeno can think is wow. they are absolutely gorgeous. that’s how jeno lee falls in love for the second time. 

conversation flows easy and one thing leads to another and now suddenly you and jeno are dating. the student gets a lot more comfortable around jeno as well, and he’s even caught them reaching out a shy hand to some of the other students to show them the book they were reading. he texts as much to you and the two of you continue happily down your path of content and quiet, nurturing love.

in another lifetime, donghyuck would be a singer/songwriter. he probably tries hard to find something else to love, something else to latch onto - preferably something that pays the bills without any doubt of the next paycheck. but no matter how many times he switches his major or tries to find new passions, he falls into music every single time. so he decides that there’s only one life to live and throws himself into music.

it takes a while before he gets discovered. he gets discovered for producing one of his friend’s songs and slowly, as he builds up a steady fanbase, he begins releasing more and more music. when donghyuck hits 10k listeners on spotify, he feels as though there was nothing that could stop him.

until he’s completely stuck. he’s in a creative block, completely unable to come up with anything to write or sing. every time he tries to put pencil to paper, he ultimately draws a blank, unable to even think of how he feels about his writer’s block.

and then he’s in the studio, producing another song for the friend who brought him to this level of success at all when you walk into the recording booth. you were featuring on the song for the friend as a favor (your mutual friend thought you had a gorgeous voice even though you really had no interest in stardom) and donghyuck suddenly was hit with inspiration.

he didn’t really know what it was about you. maybe it was because of the way you smiled at the friend as the two of you goofed off in the recording booth. or the way you would always ask donghyuck if he had any thoughts on how you were approaching the song. or the way that your eyes seem to twinkle with the light of the stars in the dim lighting of the shitty recording booth.

whatever it is, you’ve got donghyuck. hook, line, sinker. and so, with little no explanation, donghyuck finds himself asking you to spend time with him, just so that the creative juices would continue flowing the way that they always seem to when you’re with him. somehow, you just being in the same room as him, focused on whatever homework you were doing, is enough for him.

and one day, when you see a song come up on your spotify feed that says - ‘go out with me?’ and your initials are listed in the songwriter’s credits, you find that perhaps you should thank that friend for dragging you into the recording booth after all.

in another lifetime, jaemin would be a computer scientist. he probably would’ve tried to get onto the surgery/medical path but promptly changed his mind after seeing just how long he’d have to be studying before he got to do anything he actually wanted to do.

he wouldn’t be in love with his job - he mostly just sees it as a means to an end more than anything. but that’s okay because he recognizes that a job is just meant to do for living expenses but not for living. jaemin gets upset sometimes that he isn’t really pursuing his passions on any level for his job but he’s a rational man. he rationalizes that it’s best if he has a well-paying job (that he’s very strict about 9 am entry and 5 pm exit with) to use the rest of the day for what he actually wants to do.

so when his company asks him to learn about a new coding language to better prepare for the integration of ai into their daily workflow, jaemin considers jumping ship and joining another company. he didn’t even like his job well enough on its own - why would he go out of his way to learn a new language?

well, because you’re the one teaching it to him. 

you’re the instructor for the course his company is forcing him to take to learn about this new programming language and you had him wrapped around your little finger. jaemin was never a bad student, but if he had put in the same amount of effort into his classes in undergrad as he was now in your class, he’s damn sure he’d have been a c-suite officer by now.

you’re probably well aware of his crush (he is the singular person in the course who submits the assignments well before the deadline - and one of very few who bother to do the assignments at all) but due to the technical power you have over him, you don’t bother even trying to entertain him at all.

however, when jaemin cleverly sneaks his phone number into his final project, you end up finding yourself accidentally writing down the silly little digits onto a post-it note to save to your phone at a later date.

in another life, chenle is an entrepreneur. he tries to follow the footsteps of those who came before him to inherit the family business - he truly does. but he finds that he simply cannot bring himself to do work for a company he doesn’t truly care about. so, he works hard to create his own path.

he fails more than once, but he’s a strong person and he doesn’t get down very easily. in fact, it’s after he meets you that he creates the business idea that finally allows him to take on the world.

after he meets you, everything seems to go his way and even though chenle isn’t usually the superstitious type, he always insists that you stay by his side whenever he makes big decisions. first, as an acquaintance, then as a friend, and then as a partner.

chenle gains a sense of confidence and stability (two things he’d never had thought would go hand in hand) after he meets you. his life becomes a lot mroe understandable, and you allow him to find a sense of comfort in you that he cannot find elsewhere. it becomes easier to rest his mind, and once he does, he always comes up with better ideas than the last.

he still insists that you’re his lucky charm though, and although you know it’s not true, you appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.

in another life, jisung becomes a soccer player. he knows it’s nowhere close to easy to become a soccer player but once he discovers that that’s what he wants to do, no matter how much he tries to do something else, he can’t find it in himself to become anything else. his parents do their best to support him but he still can’t help that he feels guilty. at this age, he wants to start to be able to support his parents - and perhaps if he chose to do a 9 - 5, he might’ve been able to.

but now, he was just scratching the surface of the success that he wanted to achieve. everything changes when he meets you though.

you’re the captain of the national woman’s soccer team and jisung has had a crush on you since before he even knew that his dream was soccer. and so when you come to his little club (it’s not that little - they won the national championships last year) to serve as the coach for a two-week training camp, he’s doing his best to impress you.

and impressed, you are. you admire his work ethic and his style and on your recommendation, jisung applies to play for the national soccer team and gets selected (as a reserve player, but that’s more than he was before!), beginning a romance for the ages.

[viperrot]

⇁slasher season | leon kennedy | intro

re4 remake ghostface!leon s. kennedy x fem!reader NSFW 18+

MINORS DNI: BEWARE OF THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

you've always been in love with horror media growing up, especially slasher films. your boyfriend suggests to indulge in your dark fantasies after learning about your liking towards the classic ghostface.

series content warnings: porn with little plot, cnc/dubcon, depictions of chase, stalking, knifeplay, size difference, and possibly more to be added

content contains: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF MURDER (ghostface in the movie doing ghostface things), oral (f!receiving), reader has fem!anatomy and uses fem!pronouns, size difference (leon is supposedly taller and beefier than reader), use of petnames (bunny, bug), no p in v, leon eats pussy like a champ!, praise and degradation

not proofread i am eepy

3719 words

song rec: "porno witch" by devil's witches (PLEASE LISTEN I LOVE THIS SONG UHHUGGHHU)

the introduction to my new self-indulgent collection of ghostface leon! no ghostface!leon here, but in the next one? ohohoho… be prepared, little doves.

enjoy below the cut~

Swaddled up in a soft blanket dyed to look like the Mystery Machine from Scooby-Doo, you patiently waited for your boyfriend to arrive home from work. You sat on the floor below your couch, surrounded by pillows you had taken from your bedroom in effort to get comfortable.

Tonight was movie night, and it was your week to pick the movie. With the summer season in full swing, you had finally decided it was “Slasher Season”—a time of the year you made up when you were in high school as an excuse to watch shitty horror films on your mom’s VHS player. Slasher Season, for you, was from July and all the way into Christmas—the typical settings of many slasher films. From summer camp scenarios, halloween killing sprees, and organs for Christmas presents, you thought it was a proper time period to call the Slasher Season.

As you scrolled through your phone, mindlessly looking through cringe social media, a ping! sound vibrates the small device. Your put your attention on the notification banner at the top of the screen, smiling softly when you see a message from your sweetheart.

Lee💕» Almost there. Make me some hot chocolate?

At the mentioning of the sweet treat, you checked the electric kettle that was resting on the kitchen counter and squinted at it.

« Too farrrr you do it urself!!

You respond, feeling lazy.

Lee💕» You’re goofy. See you soon, bug

Your heart raced knowing Leon was only a few blocks away at this point. He often walks place-to-place to make up for his lack of gym consistency as a result of college taking up most of his time, and his dorm isn’t very far from your apartment. As you waited for Leon, you got up from your comfortable spot on the floor to turn on the kettle before searching for the remote to the TV, finding it wedged between the couch cushions.

Sitting back down in your pillow moat, you quickly search for one of your favourite slashers on a random streaming service—Scream, 1996. The infamous Ghostface mask stared back at you as you clicked around for the “play” button, starting the movie and immediately pausing it to continue when your lover arrives.

The door to your quaint apartment clicks, the sound of a door knob rattling catching your attention. It pushes open to reveal Leon, sporting a black t-shirt and some blue jeans. He crouches down to slip off his beat-up Converse, tucking them against the wall before fully entering the house and closing the door behind him. He pushes his hair back as he looks at you with a boyish grin, a faint blush dusting the bridge of his nose as his pupils widen at the sight of you.

“Hey, bug,” Leon beams. He takes a look at the kitchen and notices the electric kettle boiling on the counter.

“Hi, Lee,” you chuckle softly. “I thought you changed at your dorm?” you motioned towards his jeans from your spot on the floor. His attention turns down to his attire.

“Figured I could shower and then just wear the sweats I keep here. Plus, I didn’t want to walk in pants like that,” Leon shrugs, walking towards the short hallway that led to your bedroom. You hum and go back to your phone while your blondie changes out of his tight jeans. The six-foot tall hunk walked into the living room and nudged you with his sock-clad foot, asking you to scoot forward. You did so, allowing him to squeeze behind you and set you into his lap.

"Was it busy today?" you peer up at him, your eyes unable to focus on his chin and his eyes at the same time. You felt Leon's right arm leave your waist to pick up the remote on the coffee table, pressing the "play" button to begin the movie. He tugs up the Scooby-Doo themed blanket to cover the both of you before answering your question.

"Like always. Luckily, no one pushed me into the pool today," Leon chuckled. He works as a swim instructor during the summer for little kids at the local pool, and the children would often play with him and push him into the body of water. The image of a dozen little ones running around him like vultures made you giggle.

"That's kinda lame," you joke. Leon squeezes your side gently, taking a nibble at the shell of your ear as a silent jab at your comment.

"Do you want hot chocolate, bug?" Leon asks lowly. You shake your head as a no, focusing your attention to the movie.

Drew Barrymore as Casey Becker picked up the white landline phone, responding to the fake voice speaking to her with a cheeky grin on her face. You felt your thighs squeeze at the sound of Ghostface on the other end of the line, silently wishing you were Casey Becker. If Leon noticed, he made no effort to say anything. As the scene plays out, you feel your lover's chest hum softly.

"What is this...?" he questions quietly. Your eyebrows knit together at this.

"You don't know what we're watching...?!" you gape up at him, your head looking over your shoulder. He gives you a look of pure confusion.

"Not really, no. Am I supposed to know?" Leon laughs nervously, a brow quirked up.

"If you're dating me, yes! Yes, you're supposed to know!" You yelp out, distraught by your lover's confession. He flashes a stupid smile, seemingly unbothered by your behaviour, his lightly calloused fingers tickling beneath the baggy jumper you wore that totally wasn't his to tease at the skin of your waist.

"Then why don't you help me out and tell me what in the world we're watching, bunny?" Leon circles his thumb just above your v-line, rubbing softly as he nuzzles his chin onto your shoulder.

"It's only like... one of the best slasher films of all time," you mumble under your breath. "Scream by Wes Craven from 1996."

"Mmm... not ringing a bell, bunny," Leon begins to press kisses into the crook of your neck as his eyes focus on the screen in front of you two, confused as to why the platinum blonde chick is losing her mind while running around with the phone in her hands.

Casey Becker screams at the sight of her meathead boyfriend strapped to a chair in front of her family’s pool, guts hanging out of his stomach from a large slit that ran across it. Leon cringed slightly at the sight, not expecting to watch a horror movie tonight.

"What is this..." he squints, still confused.

"Just keep watching," you sigh, childishly upset that Leon didn't know what this movie was.

The scene continued, Casey Becker running around and out of her house with a knife from her burning kitchen. Eventually, she's found by the wicked killer of the movie. He chases her with his blade, digging it into her neck as she cries to her poor parents over the phone. The blood gurgled in her throat as she cried, crawling in the yard of her lavish and isolated home, leaving a trail of her blood in her wake.

As Ghostface brandished his modified hunting knife, you shivered with a sick excitement, unknowing of the sparkle in your eyes as the scene unfolded.

But Leon knew.

As you squirmed in his lap, he grew curious, his lips no longer kissing against your neck. He knew what the two of you were watching now—he had dressed up as that murderous fool for Halloween in his senior year of high school as a joke with some old friends. Leon hadn’t any idea who Ghostface was. He simply knew him because of his friend group that dressed up as other slasher antagonists.

He remembers the compliments he’s get when trick-or-treating with his friends—the girls that’d flirt with him and ask him for a game of cat and mouse with batted eyelashes. Leon feels warm at the memory of spending time with his old group and denying girls a playful chase, but he quickly brushes them away when he feels you grind into his lap a little harder than the other times.

“What’s got you so twitchy, bunny?” Leon whispers into your ear, thumbing at the waistband of your pajama shorts. You jolt at the sensation, a blush running up to your ears.

“Nothing?” You respond, hoping he wouldn't realize the true reason as to why you're so fidgety tonight. The sight of Billy Loomis and Stu Macher made you want to jump with joy, unconsciously biting your bottom lip as they teased their respective girlfriends. Leon hummed, mimicking the kisses Billy would give Sidney in the scene, his lips grazing the lines of your neck.

"I think you're lying to me, bug," Leon chuckles lowly, his lips curling up into a grin against your neck. "I have a serious question for you."

You perk up at this, your full attention in your lover's hands. You can no longer focus on the slasher film playing on the TV as Leon turns you in his lap to face him, his nose grazing against your own as he tilts his head down to look into your eyes.

"Do you get, uh...?" Leon hesitates, his lip twitching as his eyes dart around in search of what to say.

"Do serial killers turn you on?"

Blink.

Blink, blink.

"HAH- why would you think that, Lee?!" you laugh nervously, your heart drumming against your ribcage. The blonde man smirked at the flustered sight of you, knowing good and well you were lying through your teeth.

"Well, you keep squeezing your thighs together, first of all," he notes. "And then you keep squirming around like a caterpillar getting ready to cocoon," his hands tickle your waist, trailing up and up, closer to your chest.

"That doesn't mean anything, Lee. I-I'm just feeling the affects of a thrilling film!" you try to dodge his speculations, eyes averting from his own. Leon presses a soft kiss on the corner of your lips before you felt his right hand trail away from your torso, cupping the heat between your legs.

"If it doesn't mean anything," he leans in, whispering into you ear.

"Why are you soaking through your shorts?"

You shiver when you feel Leon's breath tickle your ear, unknowingly grinding your clothed slit onto the palm of his hand. He chuckles lowly, pulling away from your heat. Your blush worsens, and you whine softly when the contact is lost.

"Be honest with me, bunny. Do you like the idea of being chased? Maybe even... having a little fun with a knife?" Leon coos, bringing his hand back to your waist. You shyly nod, shoving your face into his neck to avoid his soft gaze. His laugh rumbles low in his chest as he holds you close, caressing your skin gently.

“Don’t be embarrassed—It’s kind of cute, really,” Leon assures you. “But I have another question.”

You press your chest against his, and you feel him hug you a little tighter. You hum softly, urging your lover to continue.

“Do you want to try something more… slasher-like?” He asks curiously, and you grow a little confused.

“What do you mean, Lee? Like… do you mean you want to watch more movies, or in be-“

“In bed. Or maybe even out of bed,” Leon smirks. You pull away from the crook of his neck, interested in the proposition.

“Out of bed? How would that work?” You slightly pucker your lips with confusion. Leon traces your bottom lip with his thumb, tugging at it gently as his blue eyes traced the features of your face.

“However you want, bunny. I can send you creepy messages on a cheap burner phone, make you wonder if I’m stalking you every moment of the day, and maybe even, hmm… Get a Ghostface costume…?” Your eyes widen with surprise at his suggestions, and by the look in his eyes, he’s completely serious. You stifle a nervous laugh, unsure of how to even respond.

“Y-y’know, I thought you were a ‘missionary only’ kinda guy,” you half-joked.

It was mostly true, really. The times you’ve had sex with Leon, he was mostly very sweet—he’s just a big tease. He always wanted to look you in the eyes, whisper sweet praises to you as he rolls his hips into yours. You never bothered to ask him for rougher activities, not wanting to come off as weird to your boyfriend of almost a year, so his suggestion of chasing and stalking you was a shocker.

“M’only a ‘missionary only’ guy because I didn’t think you’d be such a lewd and depraved girl,” Leon confesses, smirking down at you. “But now… I know what you really like,” his hand reaches down to the curve of your ass, pinching the plush flesh teasingly between his fingers.

“I-I’m not lewd,” you stammer out, your arousal dripping from your tongue. Leon takes in the sight of you—flushed and small in his lap, your body betraying your words as you began to grind onto the apparent bulge in his sweatpants.

“Stage one is denial, bug~” gently, he pushes you down to the floor, the movie and Mystery Machine blanket that covered you two long forgotten. You make no protest when he begins to tug off your pajama shorts, revealing the cotton panties beneath. Leon’s breath grazes over the white fabric, tickling your most sensitive areas as he smiles up at you from his spot between your thighs.

“So, what do you say, bunny? Do you want to play a game with me?” Leon chuckles darkly, his teeth pulling at gusset of your panties to pull them off. When they’re halfway down your thighs, he ducks to wedge himself in front of it before lowering himself to the slick between your legs, his plump lips immediately getting to work.

His tongue runs up from the bottom of your pussy and up to your sensitive little clit, teasing at the bundle of nerves with a few flicks of his tongue. Leon skims his giant hands over your thighs before squeezing them closer to his head, burying himself into your wet cunt like a man starved.

You moan out his name as you thread your fingers through his soft blonde hair, throwing your head back into the carpet as you feel his warm tongue bully itself into your wet hole.

“Tastes so good, bunny,” Leon groans, the vibrations of his voice against your cunt making your stomach churn. “All f’me, too—god,” he smiles before fucking his tongue back inside, relishing in the way your thighs hugged his head tight.

“L-Leon—“

“That’s right, bunny… Keep moaning like the depraved little slut you are,” your lover chuckled, the devilish tone dripping from his tongue. Leon began to focus on your clit as one of his hands left your thighs, teasing the entrance of your pussy with soft pokes and prods.

“Who would’ve known such a sweet girl like you could be so dirty~” Leon mumbles as he sucks at your sensitive little nub. “You like it when I call you slut, huh? You’re squeezing my head like I’m trying to kill you or somethin’, bunny.”

“Why don’t you beg for my fingers, hm? Let’s hear it, bunny~” the blue-eyed boy pulls himself away from your twitchy little hole, smirking at the sight of how fucked-out you looked despite him barely doing anything. His head presses against your thigh as he forces them apart, placing soft nibbles onto the plump flesh as he awaits your response.

“P-please, Lee…” you pant out, hands reaching out for him desperately as your hips bucked up. Leon remains in his current position, worrying bruises into your inner thigh as if nothing was happening.

“L-Leon, please… need you—“ your voice is shaky as you continue to beg, and that seems to do the trick as you watch your lover return to his spot buried between your legs.

“Perfect…” He smiles, his lips a breath away from your aching cunt. “My perfect little bunny, hm~? Let’s give you want you want now, slut~”

Without warning, Leon thrusts his thick fingers into your slick little hole, scissoring your entrance open as he sucks harshly on your clit. You cry as you feel his teeth graze against the little bud, eyes rolling back as his fingers pump a hair upwards to graze against that special little spot inside of you.

“L-Lee—!” You moan, breath hitching in your throat as you tugged at his hair. Leon makes no plans to stop, continuing his attack onto the most sensitive spots of your body as you squirm and squeeze beneath him. Every time your thighs clenched around him, he couldn’t help but chuckle with delight, relishing in every sensation you gave him.

“Feels so good, isn’t that right, bunny?” Leon coos, smiling coyly at the sight of your arched back and drool-covered lips. “Y’look so pretty like this, bug… Love eating you out.”

Leon digs his fingers deeper inside of you as he goes back to stimulating your clit, his tongue dragging letters onto your slick pussy with expertise. Your hips rock up onto his mouth, your jumper riding up your stomach as you squirmed. Your lover could feel your cunt squeeze with each thrust of his calloused digits.

“Y’gunna cum for me, bunny?” he hums. “Go on. Cum for me, slut. This might be the last time I let you feel this good,” Leon growls.

At his order, you release, your juices making a mess of your lover’s face as your hips twitch forward. Leon sighs with delight, lapping up every drop you give him as if he was never going to have another meal for the rest of his life. Groaning at the taste of you, he pays no attention to the way you lay boneless beneath him.

“Such a good girl for me, bunny~” he moans onto your pussy, obsessed with the flavour of you as his tongue drags itself in and out of your slick hole. Your shivered, trying to push him away from your overstimulated intimates as your eyes rolled back. He doesn’t budge, continuing to fuck you with his greedy tongue.

“Tastes so fuckin’ good… all f’me… all mine~” Leon mumbles between every lick, pussydrunk and loopy. He finally pulls away, your slick making a mess of his jaw and lips. His blue eyes stare down at you with a slight worry.

“You okay, bug?” He whispers, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek. You nod softly, lost for words as a result of your recent orgasm. Leon chuckles at your current state.

“So cute… Let’s get you a bath, n’then we can keep watching Scream in the bedroom, okay?” Leon helps you up to your feet before carrying you bridal-style immediately after. You make no argument, allowing the man to walk you over to the bathroom down the hall.

Apparently, watching Scream and making you scream are two different things, but Leon didn’t really care.

uh. my first public smut i’ve ever written? hope u enjoyed the intro i guess bc this is one of the few times i’m gunna make leon be nice to u in this little collection :,]

comment if you want to be in the taglist, perhaps?

[gaybananabread]

♡~A Mother Always Knows⁠~⁠♡

~I’ve been reading a ton of sad books recently, so I needed something fluffy to get myself back together. So, here’s a completely self-indulgent fic I felt needed to exist. Fair warning, I haven’t seriously written in a few weeks, so this might suck. If you’re still here, I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Miles

Ler: Rio

Summary: Miles’s job as Spider-Man has been weighing heavier on him, and school and the Spider-Verse isn't helping. Rio notices almost instantly, and while she may not know what's causing her baby to feel so stuck, she knows exactly how to give him a little boost.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

THIS IS NOT A SHIP! IT'S A MOTHER LOVING HER SON! DON'T BE WEIRD!

Groaning, Miles keysmashed on his laptop, trying and failing to generate ideas. He’d done everything: rewarding writing websites, the Comic Sans trick, drinking electrolyte-heavy beverages. Nothing was working.

His English teacher had assigned another essay, and he was completely stuck. Miles was an artist, not a writer; the creative essay assignments loved to kick his ass. That, coupled with the actual routine kicking of his ass from villains, left him all sorts of stressed out.

Deciding he needed a break from staring at the white screen, Miles got up and went to the kitchen. He had all weekend to complete the creative essay; unfortunately for him, that was prime villain attack time. He had barely gotten to sit down and work for a cumulative of two hours.

Rio had been noticing her son’s off behavior for almost the entire year he’d been Spider-Man. It was negligible at first: forgotten assignments, baggy eyes, messy appearances. Those were typical for teenagers going into High School.

So, when she saw him stumble into the kitchen while favoring his left side, her mama bear instincts kicked in.

Over time, however, it had progressed to very noticeable, very worrisome changes. While she hadn’t confronted Miles yet, Rio was definitely not oblivious.

After all, a mother always knows.

“Miles, siéntate ahora.” Her voice was loving, but undoubtedly stern; he’d be smart to listen, and listen he did. Miles sat down at the kitchen table, doing his best not to limp. It wasn’t enough.

Rio set a bowl of Cheez-Itz in front of him before sitting across from him. Miles could feel the heat grow beneath his collar; she was using her Mom Face. For a solid four minutes, she just sat there, watching him as he snacked. Just act natural, just be cool, just eat the damn crackers…

“You gonna tell me what’s going on, or are we just gonna sit here?” Yeesh, there was that tone. Miles knew there was zero way of getting out of there without some sort of conversation.

“Just…loaded up, Mami. I’ve got a lot on my plate with Visions, ya know?” He tried to pin it all on school, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t technically a lie; he did have a lot of stress due to assignments, especially his English teacher.

Rio sighed a bit; that was true, sure, but not the entire story. It worried her to see her baby like that, even more so when he wouldn’t let her help. Still, she had to find a way to get him to de-stress, even if she didn’t know the full cause.

“Hmm. Couch,” she ordered, standing and heading to their living room. Sure, it was a short walk, but she could still be mysterious.

Miles knew better than to argue, setting the empty bowl in the sink before joining her. He was stiff, his mind spinning with all sorts of theories and questions. Was she gonna press the issue? Did she know, and was just trying to see how much he would lie to her? Was she gonna ground him indefinitely for not coming clean?

Instead of confirming her son’s fears, Rio just pulled him into a hug by the shoulders. Miles’s eyes widened, but he quickly relaxed, resting his head on his mom’s chest. Man, he was tired…

“I love you, Miles. I know something’s wrong, and I know it’s hard for you to tell me. Just…remember that I’m always here for you, okay?”

Miles felt his heart lift at her words. She…she really loved him. She knew he was lying, but she still loved him. He swallowed a small lump forming in his throat before nodding; he didn’t trust his voice.

Now that she’d gotten him nice and emotional, Rio decided he needed to cheer up a bit. Miles was so stressed and reserved most of the time. She missed the days where his bright, unapologetic smile would light up their home - especially his giggles. How Rio longed to see him happy like that again…

Oh. Lightbulb.

“Thank you, baby. You just seem so sad anymore. Me encantaría verte sonreír de nuevo.” Shifting her hand down Miles’s side, she tried to hide her growing smile. If she wanted to surprise her son, she had to be crafty.

Miles's brain lagged a bit as he translated her words. Smile again? What...why was his spider-sense going off?

"Lucky for you, I think I remember how to fix that," she crooned. Then, in a gentle and teasy way, she started wiggling her fingers into her son's side.

The teen's eyes shot wide open, a giggle slipping out. His mom was...tickling him? It wasn't something they'd done in a while, thanks to his constantly loaded schedule and isolating tendencies. It immediately made him giddy and lit his nerves on fire.

"M-Mahahahahahami! W-Whahahat?!" Miles was shocked, kicking his feet against the couch. How could just a few fingers tickle so much?

"What? It's kinda obvious, Miles. I'm tickling you!" Her other hand joins the fray, pulling her son against her. While Miles was a helluva lot stronger than her, he couldn't risk overdoing it. So, like a true man, he giggled his heart out.

"Dohohon't sahay thahahat! Mohom!" Right as Miles tried to pry her hand off, Rio started to scribble on his belly. His giggles shot up for a moment, turning to adorable belly laughter.

"HEHEHEhehey! C'mohohon!" Two hands was just being mean. Rio was loving all the giggles, and she could feel the tenseness in his shoulders melting away against her. There was no way she could stop at that point.

"Don't say what, papa? Tickle? How about this? Cosquillas cosquillas cosquillas~" Rio quickly whispered the words in his ear, loving the squeak she got in return. Her son was just the cutest, even when he was trying to be all macho.

The teasing fried his brain, leaving him a squirming mess of nonsensical babbling and giggles. The t-word in one language was bad enough, but two? And in his ear? His mom was killing him!

Deciding to be cruel, Rio suddenly jammed both her hands into his underarms. Miles was tired, so she had to hit the sweet spots quickly.

"NAHAHAHA! *snort* MOHOHOHOHOM!" Miles shrieked and thrashed, absolutely losing his shit when his mom targeted his worst spot. Her nails were torturous, far worse than Hobie's lanky fingers or Pav's loving squishes. It shot ticklish lightning zipping across his skin, sending him into near hysterics.

Rio cooed at her son's near manic reaction, giggling as he snorted. Miles was always trying to act tough, but he just couldn't get any cuter.

Miles was sort of exploding inside. He was already tired from patrols, and now he was laughing his ass off; the boy was ready to crash. His mind was a goopy mess of flustered joy and giggles, rendering him unable to speak. Still, he could feel his stress melting away, leaving him in a stupidly happy, ticklish bliss.

Still, it tickled like crazy, and he couldn't last forever.

"MOHOHOHO- *snort* OHOM! IHIHI CAHAHAN'T!" Small tears of mirth pricked at the corners of his eyes as he tapped out. Rio stopped as soon as he said that, moving to pet his hair and rub his shoulder soothingly.

"Te tengo, Miles. Take a breath." She held him close, trying to help him regain his composure.

Miles was still reeling, giggling off the phantom tickles. After that lovely attack, he was completely drained. Thanks to his mother's gentle pets, he was on the verge of passing out right then and there.

"Ohoho crap... Whyhy?" Miles failed to stifle a yawn and rubbed his sides as he asked. His mother chuckled at his attempt before answering. "Because you needed to relax, Miles. You're too stressed anymore."

He rolled his eyes, but she wasn't wrong; he was practically limp against her. "Ihi...yeah, I guess. Still though, that was overkill."

She chuckled and booped his nose, making him grunt. "Maybe a bit. Now, do yourself a favor and take a nap."

Miles begrudgingly closed his eyes, mumbling something about not being a baby anymore. Still, thanks to her gentle head pats and his exhaustion, he was nodding off in seconds.

"Te quiero, Miles. Sleep tight."

Rio couldn't help but smile at the sight. Her son was finally relaxed; she couldn't find a trace of the earlier stress on his face. After he relaxed, she'd work on the essay with him. It might not get far, but they'd struggle together. That was what mattered, especially to her. She kissed the top of his head with a small, happy sigh.

[shun-zam]

Okay so I talked about this at length before but bakugan is really ambitious with the story it is telling in the length of time that it has.

In 52 episodes we meet our 6 main character, 5 main bakugan. But that’s not all. You have the masquerade and his bakugan, the rival crew and their bakugan (five more human and bakugan pairs to meet and learn the dynamics of) Christopher, Joe and Wavern. It’s a very bloated cast. And with a cast that size it’s amazing that so many characters got to shine and have arcs/character growth in the time that they had. They were very efficient and I’m still amazed.

However if I may fly close to the sun. As we are in the land scape of reboots let us look at a retelling instead. Because the main problem with Bakugan season 1 is it’s two short.

“But 52 episode isn’t short” you’re right. But think of what we could do if we had more time.

Like I said I’ve talked about this before but allow me to go again.

Take episodes 1-25 and expand them to be a full 52 episode season 1.

1-13 is fine this introduces our cast and their dynamics.

Episodes 14 - 18 is where the expansion happens. This is the segment where Billy, Chan-Lee, Klause, Julio, and Komba are working for Masquarde. Expand this. Have them be evil longer. And take down time (yes I know they didn’t have this because the goal isn’t sell toys but let me house on substance)

We end 18 like normal. Preyus is gone. Marucho is big sad. Let the Brawlers split up. But instead of Julie instantly going after Billy and freeing him, milk it.

Things to accomplish in no order.

Runo and Marucho centered episode (no Dan to the rescue) Runo trying to comfort Marucho when they are attacked by let’s say Chan-Lee and they have to work together to win. Bonus points if Alice is with them helping them strategize. Marucho is brawling for the first time in a long time without Preyus, he will need the help and support. Let them be friends supporting each other.

That brings up another part, as soon as Alice is present she is tagging along for Brawls. I mean from the airport episode onward. They say she is the team’s strategist, show me. Have her helping them with strategy and as the show goes onward the Brawlers need her help less and less. This shows the growth of the Brawlers as Characters while also make Alice an integral member of the team.

Dan and Shun’s fight. Make it last longer. Dan and Julie go off and face Komba.

Shun and Alice go off and get attacked by Julio. (We never see these match ups in the show and it would be fun to put their styles against each other)

Dan and Shun reunite and apologize (both were jerks) just in time for Billy and Klause to show up. Julie tries to get Billy to Brawl her/talk to her but Klause has no interest in collecting Gorem (yet) and Billy is still under the negative influence. Maybe Billy says something about his and Julie’s friendship being meaningless. Julie is obviously upset and Dan and Shun step in. The duel allows the two of them to parallel their own childhood friendship with Julie and Billy’s and that even though they went through a rough patch/circumstances changed (Shun’s mom died) their friendship still means a lot to them. Just line Billy’s friendship means a lot to Julie. It’s not enough to get through to Billy but it helps Julie feel less alone.

We met Julie’s sister. This does not have to be a Brawl. This can be as simple at her calling to check in on Julie and the Audience seeing how inferior Julie feels compared to her sister. (This can also be shown by her parent checking in and comparing the two girls, or by Billy being up Julie’s “perfect sister” as a way to taunt her) either way I want her brought up and stationed as this impossible standard that Julie feels she can never reach.

I also want Marucho’s parents to check in and for Marucho to struggle between pleasing them and being a Brawler. This is especially hard as he does not currently have Preyus.

Let this happen in the same episode. Let Julie and Marucho bond over having impossible standards thrusted upon them. Let them brawl together (I don’t think we ever see them tag battle)

Runo is still upset with Dan or something and her and Julie get into an argument. The two later get into a tag team brawl. Use this as a chance to show how Runo’s stubbornness can get them into trouble but also as a way to show the girls bonding as they work together. (Let them talk about something besides Dan)

Just more character interactions. More emphasis on their friendships. Dan and Shun’s childhood. Marucho getting support. Bring up the focus of Julie and Marucho’s trials earlier so that they hit harder later. INCLUDE ALICE MORE. Let Runo shine in more than just her relationship with Dan.

Also show their ranks going up (make it a big deal like the bounties in one piece)

(Again I know why the show moves so fast (toys) but let character relationships and dynamics matter)

Episode 19-22 is when the brawlers beat the rival crew for the last time. These match ups remain the same. And just think how much harder the Preyus reveal will hit if their is more time to see how his absence effects not only Marucho but the whole team (Runo’s fears about losing Tigrerra). Julie still saves Billy with the power of friendship. Shun still (unwillingly) gains a student in Komba. Dan, Runo and Marucho still fight in the triple battle.

End the season in one of two ways.

1) the Joe episodes.

Durning everything about they should still be suspicious of Joe.

The reveal of Hoe as a good guy and the reveal of Wavern powers should be a big moment.

End the season wondering who the Spy is and make it super dramatic that it is one of the Brawlers. One of the characters we just spent 52 episodes with.

2) end it on cannon episode 27

The second to last episode shows all the rivals being beaten by Masquerade

The last episode is Dan throwing himself into the doom dimension.

Let me know if you want the second half of this nonsense. I’ve talked about it a bit already, but I currently am on the last part of my Battle Brawlers rewatch and will be able to add more detail later

[hannahwatcheshorror]

CHILD'S PLAY (1988)

💁‍♀️Strong Female Lead

A classic film about a scary thought, “What if my doll were alive?” Chucky is the original ANNABELLE (well, that isn’t entirely true) and masters the cute to creepy transition in seconds flat. No time is wasted showing you how the doll comes to life, it just takes a moment for him to belong to someone and for the killings to begin. Nicely paced and well acted with very nice effects especially for the main man himself. Should encourage you to be a little nicer to those “inanimate” objects around you.

⭐⭐⭐.5

(trigger warning sexual aggression/violence against a woman)

Charles Lee Ray, a serial killer, is about to die in a toy store when he says Abracadabra (by The Steve Miller Band) over a little ginger doll (since it has no soul) and puts his soul in it with voodoo (wack). A nice lady buys the “doll” for her son's birthday and gives it to her little brat (nah, he is a cutie) and doesn’t realize what hell will soon be breaking loose. The aunt is babysitting but she won't be there long because Andy has a new best friend in Chucky the doll and the doll wants to play. Death by toy hammer to the face then dramatically falling out a window is weak as hell though, I just gotta say, Aunt Maggie. 

Karen comes home to find her babysitter dead and her son blaming it on the doll (yeah, right, kid) to which she says, “Yeah, right, kid, tell me the truth.” The detective is wary and thinks the kid killed the aunt which is so fucking funny, I just have to say, this kid is such a small little baby who is so confused and he certainly didn’t kill a bitch. ANYWAY. Things keep escalating when Chucky makes Andy skip school and visit his old accomplice's house to blow the place up (with the dude inside). Now Andy is sent to the nuthouse because he says Chucky is alive and no one believes him! Chucky goes on a side quest and finds out his only shot at being human again is to become Andy (yikes).

Distraught about her son in a psych ward, Karen goes home with the doll and commands it to talk to her. Fucker doesn’t listen so she threatens to burn him over the fire, that gets him talking. Now she knows her son isn’t a liar. Ms. Barclay makes our detective listen to her by putting herself in danger and damn it if that doesn’t make me fall in love with her. We love a woman who will recklessly go after a mad man (or doll) because of their kid. Chucky goes after the detective who barely makes it out alive but now at least he believes.

Andy is locked up in the psych ward still and sees a spritely little Chucky parkour his way up the steps and into the hospital on his way up to get Andy. The doctors think the kid is off his nut and you feel this sense of helplessness for him because we know he is telling the truth!  Poor little Andy even has to watch a guy get electroshock therapy to death which I'm sure won’t scar him for life (it will). After narrowly avoiding capture at the hospital, Andy goes home to try and wait out his best fiend.

Like an unfriendly Santa, guess who comes down the chimney? None other than Chucky in the flesh, I mean, plastic. Chucky decks the kid in the head with a fucking baseball bat like it’s no big deal. UM. WACK. (Ha) He attempts to start the ritual but Mom and the detective come back in the nick of time. After a little more bat whacking on the detective, Chucky gets the Freddie Lounds special (a full fire cleansing) which STILL isn’t enough for this evil bastard. They have to shoot him in the heart and he barely goes down then. They are all safe (for now).

[animeniacss]

Seoksoo - imperfect Part 1 - Chapter 12 - Cramped, Nervous, and Desperate

Synopsis: Lee Seokmin likes a lot of things: karaoke, stuffed animals, his friends, his family (when they're not at each other's throats), and when things go according to plan. It's perfect that way. That is...until Joshua Hong, the Education Department TA, stumbles into his view one day and suddenly Seokmin has to start facing the fact that maybe not everything in life will be perfect...but with Joshua, that might just be ok.

Tags: College!AU, ActingMajor!Seokmin, Teacher!Joshua, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Side GyuCheol, Side JunHao, Side Verkwan, Other Idol appearances, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Domestic Violence (not between the main couple), Joshua is a dork 90% of the time, (More Tags will be Added as needed)

Length: approx. 6.5k words

Chapter 12 - Cramped, Nervous, and Desperate

--- Three Years Prior -----

“I bet there will be tons of cool college parties.” Eunkyung grinned from behind her soup spoon. Seokmin leaned back in his seat, smirking a bit.

“When have you ever pictured me as a party animal?”

Eunkyung reached for more rice, setting it into her bowl. “I think you’ll find a whole new side of yourself at college, Oppa. You’ll come back at the end of the term a new person.”

“You’re going to waste your entire college career getting drunk at parties?” His mother chimed in, causing both of her children to look in their direction. Seokmin set his chopsticks down.

“Well, no, but Mingyu told me-.”

“Mingyu’s a good kid. He doesn’t strike me as the party type, and neither do you.”

“When I’m in college, I’m going to party all the time.” Eunkyung grinned, mouth full of rice. Their mother shot her a disapproving look for her talking with a mouth full of rice. She quickly swallowed it before adding: “What? Tell me you didn’t party in college.”

“I did. And that’s why I’m saying you two can’t.”

Eunkyung gasped. “That’s like, total hypocrisy, Mom.”

“No, it’s called wisdom. Eunkyung, you’re barely 15. You can’t go around talking about hypocrisy.”

“Do you even know how to spell it?” Seokmin grinned at his sister from across the table. Eunkyung scoffed.

“Very funny.” She gathered up her empty plates and brought them into the kitchen to begin washing the dishes. Seokmin took another bite of his meal as his mother turned to him once more.

“Don’t go to parties, okay, Seokmin? You never know what someone’s going to put in your drink or if someone’s going to get in a fight. Just don’t do it. If you want to have a party, have it at your apartment. I’ll even host one here for all your friends. Okay? That way I know you’re safe.”

         He studied her expression. The wrong words could lead to her getting upset. So, he simply nodded with a quick: “Okay, Mom. I’m not a party person, anyway.”

His reassurance comforted her with a gentle smile, and Seokmin felt secure again. “At least one of my kids will turn out alright.” She reached out, putting her hand on Seokmin’s arm. He smiled a bit, nodding his head. She stared at him with the same intensity he had burned into his brain for the past 18 years of his life.

⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔(im)perfect🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌

         Seokmin didn’t really like parties, especially on campus. He didn’t hate them, but he preferred to keep his distance. He didn’t hang out with the party crowd, and his friends only drank when they were in a safe and comfortable environment. A lot of students on campus came to party on the weekends, and with Study Week and finals creeping up on them within a month and a half, parties were being thrown all over campus, by every single group of people.

         Seokmin, however, loved Seungkwan. And Seungkwan asked him to come to the party being held by some of Hansol’s friends.

         “I won’t know anyone except for Hansol. What if he leaves me?”

         “Why would he leave you?” Seokmin looked down at his notebook, still full of small blips of ideas for his final monologue.

         “He wouldn’t, but what if we get separated?”

         “I’m sure that won’t happen.” Seungkwan wrapped his arms around Seokmin’s back, nuzzling into him.

         “Hyung, please! I’m begging you. Mingyu-Hyung and Seungcheol-Hyung will be off making out somewhere the entire night. I need someone to help me. Please.”

         With this plea buried into his chest, Seokmin was currently sitting on the floor of Joshua’s bedroom, staring at himself in the mirror as Nayeon brushed through his hair. Seungkwan and he had agreed to head to their apartment when they discovered – through Seungkwan’s very subtle sleuthing – that Nayeon and her friends were also invited. If Nayeon was invited, Jeonghan was too. And if Jeonghan was, then Joshua was tailing along somehow.

         Seokmin glanced up at Joshua as he sat on the edge of his bed. Even minutes before leaving for a party, he was working on something in his school textbook. His eyes darted between his book and his computer, hands flying away on the keys. In a pair of tight leather pants and a vibrant, marigold cut off, Joshua looked completely different than he usually did. His fluffy sweaters and professional slacks, or even his ripped jeans and mismatched combat boots were merely one side of him, it seemed.

         “Seokmin, are you excited?” Nayeon smiled down at him from their spot in front of the mirror. “This is your first party on campus, right?”

         “Oh, yeah.” He smiled up at Nayeon, and she only grinned wider. “Do you go to them a lot?”

         “Yeah. My friend Jeongyeon and I love going to the parties when we can.”

         “It’s only because you can get a good story if someone throws up.” Jeonghan smirked, resting against the door frame.

         “I would never post an article about someone at a party.” Nayeon gasped, offense written on her face. Seokmin’s eyes darted up to a grinning Jeonghan.

         “But you’d never forget it happened, either.” He said. Nayeon nodded her head, glad he understood her true intentions before turning her attention to Joshua.

         “Could you stop working for five minutes and finish getting ready?” Joshua’s eyes shot up from his screen, and Seokmin instinctively looked down at his lap.

         “Well, I wouldn’t have to be if you guys didn’t force me to go to this party.”

         “We didn’t force you to do anything.” Jeonghan said. “Your boyfriend asked.” Seokmin looked up at Jeonghan, who had a finger pointed directly at him. “We simply agreed you should come and encouraged it.”

         Seokmin closed his eyes, trying to focus on the feeling of the brush Nayeon was tugging through his hair. He could hear Seungkwan beside them, putting on eye glitter that Nayeon offered to him.

         “Seokmin-Hyung, you should put some of this on.” He said, handing off the glitter. “Don’t you think it brings out my eyes?”

         “Hansol won’t be able to stop looking at you.” Nayeon grinned, earning a content hum from a very eager Seungkwan. She pulled the brush back, and Seokmin’s eyes followed her as she exited the room. ���I need to finish getting my make-up on. Then, we’ll be ready.” Jeonghan waved her off as she disappeared into the bathroom.

         “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, Joshua-Hyung.” He peered up at Joshua from his spot on the floor. Joshua looked down, his hair falling over his eyes a bit from the angle.

         “Nah.” His face softened. “It’s fine. I should probably get some air in my lungs.”

         “It’s been days since you did anything after school and tutoring.” Jeonghan said. “Seriously.” Seokmin looked up at Joshua again as he closed up his computer and book, setting them on the side of his bed. Swinging his legs over the side, he looked down at Seokmin and smiled reassuringly. 

“I can stay for a bit.”

         “Okay.” Seokmin was kind of hoping Joshua remained adamant about staying home, if only so he could stay with him instead of going. However, when Nayeon popped her head back in, face full of beautiful make-up, Seokmin knew there was no going back.

         “We need to take a picture.” She said quickly. She immediately pointed her camera at herself and Jeonghan, grinning while Jeonghan flashed a little peace sign behind her head. Seungkwan was next, and he pulled Seokmin into the shot. Seokmin immediately smiles a bit, putting a heart on his cheek like his favorite idols in shows do. Seungkwan offered a peace sign and Nayeon puckered her lips. “Cute!” She gasped. “Joshua, c’mon.”

         “Ahh, come on.” He sighed. Nayeon rolled her eyes, simply pulling him over as the group bunched together for a group shot. Nayeon stretched the camera out as far as she could. “Get in, get in.” When Joshua leaned forward, his chest pressed against Seokmin’s shoulder. He knew his cheeks would be red in the photo, but he simply put a peace sign up beside Seungkwan’s and the photo was snapped.

⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔(im)perfect🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌

         “Aahhh, I’m nervous.” Seungkwan whined, shaking his head to hopefully stir up any of the confidence hiding in his body.

         “Why? You and Hansol seem to be getting along great.” Seokmin said. “Do you not think so?”

         “I mean, we do; we’ve talked in class a bunch and gotten coffee or studied in the library together. I think we’ve become pretty good friends.” Seungkwan saw the house coming into view, and he gripped Seokmin’s arm tighter. “But this is much more intimate. Close quarters, low lights, drinking.”

         “Will someone call the cops on the place?” Seokmin peered up at the building. They had been walking from their parking space a few blocks away, and Seokmin could already feel his legs getting heavy. He took a deep breath. “I’m sure most people here aren’t even old enough to drink.”

         Jeonghan spun his keys in his hand, whistling. “Don’t worry about that, Seokmin.” He draped his arm around Nayeon, as she was on the phone in hopes of finding her friends scattered through the party. She seemed to catch one waiting outside, and her hand flew up in excitement to flag them down. “And that’s my cue, guys.” Jeonghan called as he got tugged ahead. Joshua snorted when Jeonghan was heard begging his girlfriend to slow down just a bit.

         “Alright, Seungkwan, let’s get your man.” Joshua patted the younger male’s shoulder in support. He stood between the duo, leading them into the party doors.

         The second Seokmin stepped inside, he felt his chest tighten. The music pumping through the house felt like it was squeezing Seokmin. He took a deep breath, but it hurt, so he exhaled. The walls were lined with college students, some already drunk and grinding on the person closest to them. Seokmin watched a couple run up the stairs, hand in hand. He caught a glint in the girl’s eyes at the thought of what was about to happen. He turned to Joshua, who was pointing straight ahead. Following his gaze, Hansol was at the end of the hall. He had a drink against his lips and was chatting with another, slightly taller male. He was fixing a set of glasses, hand in his short black hair as he smiled at Hansol. Whatever they were talking about, they looked very interested in one another. Even amongst the chest crushing music and musty smell, Seokmin saw Seungkwan’s lips dip into a large frown.

         “Woah. What’s with that face?” Seokmin asked. He pressed closer to Joshua’s side, the taller one placing his hand on the small of Seokmin’s back to steady him.

         “Jeon Wonwoo.” He scoffed. “He’s a junior in the Computer Sciences Department.” Seungkwan groaned. “He’s so cool. I heard he’s like, totally famous on Twitch.”

         “You’re kidding.” Joshua’s eyes widened. He glanced down at Seokmin, who only shrugged.

         “Yeah. Hansol mentioned him a few times. What do I do?!”

         “Go talk to him anyway.” Seokmin said. “Didn’t he invite you?”

         “Well, yeah, but-.”

         “All I can say is Nayeon will be pissed that you used her eye glitter and didn’t at least go make a move.” Seungkwan sighed, nodding his head.

         “You’re right.” Seungkwan nodded his head. “I have to go and make myself known.”

         “Fighting, Kwannie!” Seokmin pumping his fists in excitement, Joshua following the motion beside him. Seungkwan shuffled through the crowds, and the older duo watched as he caught Hansol’s attention.

         “Look how he’s looking at Seungkwan.” Joshua said, motioning to the wide-eyed look Hansol gave their friend. Seokmin took a second to scan over Joshua one more time. He was close enough to see the veins in Joshua’s arms poking out since it was so cold, yet Joshua didn’t leave the house with a jacket. “He’s so smitten.”

         “Yeah.” Seokmin said. He pressed a hand to Joshua’s arm, finally capturing his attention. “Aren’t you cold in a tank top? It’s November.”

         Joshua shrugged. “It’s not that bad.” Seokmin turned his attention to Seungkwan once again, who was eyeing Wonwoo up and down as they talked with a very seemingly oblivious Hansol.

         “He has no idea Seungkwan’s plotting Wonwoo’s death right now, does he?” Seokmin asked. Joshua cackling, nodding his head.

         “No fucking clue.” Joshua put his hand on his hip. “Why don’t we go in and get something to drink?” Seokmin looked around the room once more, before nodding his head. Hand still pressed to the small of Seokmin’s back, they headed further into the party. Seokmin made sure to tap Seungkwan’s shoulder and motion where they were headed. Seungkwan was already looking at Hansol with hearts in his eyes and Seokmin wondered if any words even registered in his brain.

         Joshua grabbed them a few drinks from one of the many coolers scattered through the house for easy access. He motioned a beer to Seokmin, who shook his head.

         “I don’t drink.” He shouted over the loud music.

         “Oh, shit. Sorry.” Joshua knelt back down, replacing the beer bottle for a water bottle. He set his own bottle on the counter beside them, snapping the plastic cap open and passing it to Seokmin. He took the bottle with a smile.

         “Thanks.” He called, putting the drink to his lips. Joshua did the same when he got his own open. Seokmin looked around at the sea of drunk and possibly horny college students. He wondered if Eunkyung attended parties like this. Their mother would blow a gasket if she was. Seokmin wondered how she would react if she found out Seokmin was at a party, even if he was drinking water instead of alcohol and pressed up against someone that he cared for rather than some random person he had just met in a drunk daze. “I’m not a big party person.”

         “Me either.” Joshua said against the top of the bottle. “But it’s nice to get out and do it sometimes.” Seokmin nodded, eyes falling to a couple grinding on one another to the music, only a few feet away. Their arms were wrapped around one another, hips swaying to the beat that was pounding in his ears. He turned away when they began making out. He felt Joshua pull him closer to his side, offering a smile. Even under the dim lights, Joshua looked perfect. Seokmin really wanted to kiss him, but the setting of his first kiss with this guy being at a crowded party? No. “You look overwhelmed.” Joshua asked, leaning forward a bit. His voice practically brushed Seokmin’s ear, shivering despite being packed in a hot room. “Are you okay?”

         “Yeah.” Seokmin turned to him a bit. When he did his eyes immediately fell on how close their lips were. Something in Seokmin’s chest stopped. He studied Joshua’s lips for a minute. It felt as if the rest of the party had stopped, waiting at a standstill for something to happen between these two.

         He really wanted to kiss Joshua.

         The hand on Seokmin’s waist tightened a bit, making his breath catch in his throat. Hoping to avoid whatever gaze Joshua was looking at him with, Seokmin’s eyes dipped down to the necklace adoring his collarbones. Even in this stunning outfit, little plastic beads poking out from underneath. His finger reached up, wrapping around the beads gently. He rubbed a thumb along one of the clear beads laid right in the center.

         “Is this new?” Despite Seokmin’s voice rising to be heard over the music, it was still delicate and trembling. Joshua took a second to process the question, finally nodding his head.

         “I couldn’t sleep last night.” He said.

         Seokmin felt his body press closer to Joshua when a couple staggered past, not even turning to utter a half-ass apology. Seokmin gulped. Each beat of the music felt as if it were crushing him into a smaller ball. He wanted to simply curl up and escape from here. But his only option was to press closer to Joshua, who was happy to oblige, bringing him closer into his circle. Seokmin felt a burning sensation in his throat. Gripping the little plastic beads as if they were the last string keeping him from falling into an endless abyss, Seokmin knew he needed to say something else to distract himself.

         “You don’t sleep a lot.” Smooth.

         Joshua’s nose crinkled, nodding his head. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead, I guess.”

         “You’ll get sick if you say that, you know.”

         “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t.” He leaned closer, breath tickling Seokmin’s ear like the kiss of an angel. “Thanks for worrying about me, but this isn’t really ‘dance party’ conversation, you know.”

         “I-.” Seokmin shivered. “I don’t really know much, ‘dance party conversation’.” His eyes flickered up to Joshua’s as he took another sip of his drink. Even when he wasn’t looking at Seokmin, his eyes sent shivers down his spine. He felt like he’d turn to mush at any second, forming into a puddle at Joshua’s feet. His neck craned to the large dance floor where most had congregated. Immediately, his eyes locked on Mingyu. He had arrived with Seungcheol early on in the night, both being friends with the host. Seokmin saw his shoulder-length, black hair bouncing under the colored lights with Seungcheol, head back and laughter that was drowned out by the music. He looked happy, they looked happy. No worries in the back of their mind, just enjoying the night together, in one another’s arms, like it was the only place they wanted to be.

         The worst things happen at college parties. You never know who will be there, or what they’ll try to do.

         “Do you want to dance?” Seokmin turned to see Joshua as he set down his beer bottle. Seokmin immediately noticed barely two sips were taken from it. “You’re staring at the dance floor so intensely.”

         “There’s…” Seokmin paused. “I just saw a friend in the crowd. There’s a lot of people.” Joshua nodded. 

         The duo watched the party go on around them. Seokmin tried to focus on the silence that settled between them, hoping even a little drop of it would calm his nerves. He felt he should be on the dance floor, hips pressed up against Joshua because that was expected. There must be someone who has seen the both of them just standing there, wondering why the hell they were even at the party to begin with if they didn’t intend to enjoy it.

         Joshua must be having a miserable time, just standing in one spot.

“Uhm-.” Seokmin’s voice turned the older male’s attention back to him. “If you want to, then-.”

         “No, it’s okay.” Joshua’s hips pressed against the counter top, elbow resting on the marble surface as he scanned the crowd. “I’m fine right here.” His fingers tightened on Seokmin’s back one final time, closing all the space between them. Seokmin felt his knee press against Joshua’s thigh. “Besides, my dancing skills could put all of these guys to shame. I’m doing them a favor.”

         Finally, Seokmin offered a laugh that blended with the beat. “Oh, I see.”

         “Yeah. I could wipe the entire dance floor with my one signature move.”

         “I kind of want to see it.” Seokmin admitted. Joshua shook his head.

         “It’s way too much. It might melt your brain from all of its amazingness.” Seokmin’s laughter continued, covering his mouth as his head fell forward, pressing against Joshua’s chest. Almost immediately as it did, his head shot up right, cheeks tinted red. Amused by the reaction, Joshua leaned closer. “Hm? You okay?”

         “Fine. I’m fine.” Seokmin squeaked. Joshua nodded, smiling in a way that made Seokmin feel like he was caught in a lie.

         I really want to kiss him, this is insanity. How on earth do I go about doing that? What do I do? What. Do. I. Do?!

         Joshua tongue ran along the inside of his bottom lip, Seokmin catching the entire thing since he couldn’t peel his eyes away from that part of his perfect face.

         Is that his sign he wants to kiss me? I can’t tell. What if I go for it and make a fool of myself? I’ll never live it down. I’ll never live it down.

         “Seokmin.” Joshua breathed.

         Do I even want my first kiss with him to be at some party? What will that make me? Will he think I want to do other stuff? Don’t you do other stuff at a party?

         “Seokmin.” His voice was a bit firmer.

         “Hm?” Seokmin could barely feel the sound leave his lips.

         “You’re squeezing my necklace like it owes you money.” Seokmin’s eyes finally steadied, dropping from Joshua’s lips to the vice grip he had on the plastic beads. They were lifted off his neck from the force of his grip.

         His grip loosened completely, allowing the jewelry to fall back against Joshua’s skin. “Sorry…” Joshua only shrugged.

         Unsure if it was a blessing or a curse, the second a new voice flooded their space, Seokmin’s shoulders immediately dropped. He and Joshua turned to see Seungkwan and Hansol approaching, down one Wonwoo and up one arm around Seungkwan’s shoulder. Seokmin was about to say something, but Seungkwan beat him to it.

         “Are we interrupting something?” Seungkwan asked, eyeing the lack of space between the two.

         Joshua glanced down at Seokmin for a second, before replying. “Not at all. Is this Hansol?”

         Seokmin watched as the two immediately fell into proper greetings. Once Joshua said his full name, Hansol’s eyes lit up.

         “Shit, where are you from?”

         “LA. You?”

         “New York.”

         “I’ve been there a few times.”

         Seokmin couldn’t understand what they were saying. However, even if they were speaking in Korean, he knew he’d still have no idea. His head held the entire ocean, waves crashing into his skull and making him feel all kinds of motion sickness. He couldn’t steady his eyes anymore. The uncertainty made his breath hitch.

         A hand squeezed his, and when he looked up, he saw Seungkwan. His eyes fell to the shorter of the two and the curious glint in his eyes. It was a look that made Seokmin’s stomach knot up in ways he didn’t know were possible.

         “I’m stealing him.” Seungkwan called to the others. Joshua offered Seokmin one smile, before turning back to chat with Hansol about something. He heard the word ‘America’ and ���teaching’, both words he had heard Joshua use in English before.

         Seungkwan nestled the both of them in a corner, right beside the sliding door that led outside. Seokmin leaned against it, eyes glazed over as he looked down at Seungkwan.

         “I saw the two of you getting hot and heavy.” Seungkwan grinned. “I was going to give you both space, but Hansol wanted to meet Joshua-Hyung, and-.” Seokmin listened as Seungkwan began rambling about his interaction with Wonwoo and Hansol. It was all he could do: listen. Words were not forming in his brain much less his mouth.

         You shouldn’t be at a party, Lee Seokmin.

         At least one of my kids was supposed to turn out okay.

         Seokmin covered his mouth as his mother’s voice coursed through his brain. It was imaginary, but it felt so clear, as if she were standing right beside him. His mind felt light, yet heavy. Any moment he would fall over and shatter all over the floor of this stranger’s home.

         You went to a party and didn’t even sleep with him? Lame, Oppa.

Then, Seokmin’s mind spoke up; his own thoughts torturing him relentlessly rather than the assumed thoughts of his family.

If they find out I went to a party at least they’ll make up long enough to gang up on me next….

         “I’m going to throw up.” Seokmin choked behind his hand. Seungkwan’s mouth closed almost immediately when he felt his bicep get gripped.

         “Did you drink that much already? I didn’t expect you to be-.”

         “Seungkwan, I’m going to throw up.” He choked out again, voice shaky and desperate. His grip on Seungkwan’s bicep tightened. “I can’t breathe, I-.”

         His friend’s eyes widened. “Okay. Okay, okay.” Seungkwan grabbed the handle of the sliding door and pulled it open, hitting the duo with a huge gust of wind that almost made Seokmin fall over. “Hyung?” He called, turning his head to the duo still chatting by the kitchen counter. Seokmin only caught Joshua’s gaze for a second before stepping outside. He immediately knelt down in the grass. Everything around him was static; the voices, the footsteps, the chatter. Nothing settled in his ears as he coughed into his hands. His stomach refused to throw up like he had thought, leaving him violently coughing into his hand to get whatever was burning in the pit of his stomach to go away. Every few seconds he gasped for air, but the huge intake of it only left him coughing more.

When he finally managed to stop himself from coughing so much, a shaky hand pressed against his mouth, thumbing away whatever tears were streaming down his cheeks when they fell onto his skin. Seokmin looked up at the night sky overhead, hand tangled in his hair. He wanted to focus on the stars; connect summer constellations in fall because that felt so much easier than this. His throat burned something so intense he thought it would leave a hole in his throat. He tried to swallow it down, but the lack of air only resulted in another round of frantic coughs.

Tired from holding his head up, it fell onto his knees, forehead digging into the bones. The world was still shaking, static buzzing in his ears no matter how many deep breaths he took or how tightly he gripped the base of his hair. He felt as if time was at a standstill and the play button was jammed. No matter how hard he pressed it, slammed the recording device, or reset the machine, he was stuck here forever.

         “Seokmin.” His name being called made him look up to see Joshua staring down at him. A hand was outstretched to him, and he was smiling. Seokmin sniffled, wiping his eyes one more time in hopes the tears would stop falling for good. He reached out and took Joshua’s hand, allowing him to get back on his feet. Steadying himself up right made his head pound, and he let out a deep breath. “I’ll take you home, okay?” Seokmin was silent for a minute. When Joshua offered a little smile, Seokmin felt the play button finally snap back into place. The static slowly became a dull ringing in the back of his ears as it faded from his brain all together. Seokmin nodded, eyes casting to the floor as he squeezed Joshua’s hand tighter.

         “Okay.” He said.

“Hyung...” Seokmin looked over just as Seungkwan came to his side. His glitter was a bit messy, eyes glassy from what looked to be his own set of worried tears brushed away by his hand. Hansol was on the other side of him, handing Seokmin the water he had left by them in the kitchen. Seokmin took it with a barely audible thank you, pressing it to his lips. “What happened?”

         Seokmin shook his head. “I’m okay.” He said softly. “Don’t worry about me.”    

         “Want me to come home with you too? So you’re not alone?”

         “No, you wanted to come. Have a good time. I’ll probably just….” He coughed into his hand. “Go to sleep.” Seungkwan looked over at Joshua sadly, rubbing his arms as the chilly fall air began picking up.

         “Don’t worry, I got it.” Joshua assured. He peered to the side of the house. “Come on, let’s use the side gate so we don’t have to go back inside.”

         Seokmin couldn’t even nod in response, quietly following Joshua out of the house without so much as another glance to Seungkwan and Hansol. He felt as if he was in a trance, the play button just going on a continuous loop with no stop in sight.

⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔(im)perfect🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌

         The ride back home was silent. Seokmin didn’t even have the energy to question if Joshua should be driving after drinking half a beer. His head was lolled against the window, looking at the blur of the world passing him by. The music was playing softly, but Seokmin barely had a voice to hum any of the beats.

         By the time they got back to the apartments, Seokmin was unsure how many times he dozed in and out of consciousness, each time his eyes startled awake being a painful reminder that he was in fact still in the same day. There was no fast forward button on the machine in his head, and it almost made him want to cry again.

         Joshua led him up to the apartment without a word, only a quiet hand on Seokmin’s back to guide him. Seokmin could barely handle the touch, but had little strength to prevent it. Using Seungkwan’s spare key – which Seungkwan hid flawlessly in a very cute flower pot outside their door – the duo stepped back into the apartment. Seokmin didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he gasped for air in the front entrance, chest tightening as he looked around.

         “Want a water?” Hearing Joshua’s voice almost scared Seokmin back to reality. Almost. Just enough to remember that they were in his apartment.

         “I’ll get-.” Seokmin was cut off by Joshua, who shook his head.

         “No. You’ll sit.” He motioned to the couch. He headed to the fridge to find some drinks, and Seokmin could only nod.

         “Okay…” he said. Barely kicking off his shoes and shuffling them side by side, he made his way to the couch and sank into it. He hoped with enough force he would be enveloped by it and leave his plane of existence forever. He still could barely breathe, his heart feeling as if it were being gripped in someone’s fist.

         “Here.” Joshua made his way back with a glass of water for the both of them. Seokmin took his with a nod and sipped it. “I would’ve offered tea but, I don’t know where your tea stuff is.”

         Seokmin almost choked on his drink. “Sorry.”

         “Don’t be.”

         Seokmin looked over at Joshua as he sipped his own drink, kicking one leather-clad leg over the other as he got himself comfortable. “You don’t-.” Seokmin hesitated. “You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

         “Nonsense.” Joshua shook his head. “I’ll stay for a bit. Do you really strike me as the type to drop you off and bail?”

         Seokmin shook his head. “No.” Another sip of water down his throat. The burning sensation and its aftermath still tore apart his esophagus with each sip that he swallowed.

         The duo sat in silence for a while, Joshua unsure of what to say and Seokmin unable to say much of anything at all. He set his water on the coffee table, leaning back on his couch and closing his eyes. A deep exhale shook his body. “Are you feeling better now that we left?”

         “A little…” Seokmin turned his head to look at him.

         “You really don’t like parties, hm?” Joshua smiled.

         Seokmin’s lips curled up in a small smile. “No, I don’t. My mom told me I shouldn’t go to college parties.”

         “Why?”

         “She told me that it’s dangerous because you don’t know who is there. You don’t know if the punch has been laced with something or if the cute guy you’re talking to put something in your drink when he went to grab it.”

         Joshua nodded. “I didn’t do that last part.”

         “I know.”

         “Laxatives in the punch would have been funny, though.” Seokmin chuckled a bit, watching as Joshua downed the rest of his water and set his own empty glass on the table.

         “My mom will kill me when she finds out I went to one. I told her I wouldn’t.”

         “Will she find out?”

         “I’ll tell her when I talk to her, probably.”

         “....Does she have to know?”

         Seokmin looked at Joshua. “I tell my mom everything.”

         A pause from Joshua, arms crossed and visible confusion on his face. “Even if you’ll get in trouble?”

         Seokmin didn’t know how to answer that. He sat up straight, pressing his lips together tightly in thought. “Sorry.” Joshua chimed in. “It’s not my place to assume things about your family life.”

         “No, I…It’s okay.” He looked down at his lap. His hands were red from the cold air that enveloped them on the entire walk to and from the car that chilly night. He pressed them together to see if they’d stick together, but no such luck as they pulled apart with a little pop. Suddenly, the couch shifted, and when Seokmin looked over, Joshua was sitting beside him.

         “You have something in your hair.” He said. “May I?” Seokmin nodded, eyes trailing up as Joshua’s hand tangled in his locks. For the few seconds Joshua’s hand found a home in his hair, he closed his eyes. Joshua’s finger plucked whatever he saw, scratching his scalp. Fingers dragged along the locks and Seokmin felt nice. For the first time all night. Finally, he was able to take a breath that didn’t make it feel as if he had swallowed a broken glass cup. His hands had stopped shaking and his body felt tingly; but in a good way.

         He pulled out a few pieces of fuzz, flicking them away and smiling. “There.” Seokmin’s eyes opened again. When he turned to Joshua with the intention to say thank you, something else slipped from his lips.

         “Can you do that again?”

         Joshua cocked an eyebrow. “Get fuzz out of your hair?”

         His cheeks heated up. “No.” Seokmin avoided his gaze, tilting his head to the side, scalp directed at Joshua. “That was…very relaxing, so.” No response from Joshua, and when Seokmin looked back up, Joshua was grinning. “What? You don’t have to, but-.”

         “I will.” He said. Shifting back on the couch, he leaned forward and pointed to the little spot in front of him, right between his legs. “Come here.”

         “Sorry, what?”

         “C’mere.” He motioned to the spot once again. Reluctant yet desperate for that tingling sensation, Seokmin plopped down on the floor in front of Joshua. It took a few seconds, Seokmin craning his neck when Joshua dramatically cracked his knuckles. However, within seconds, Joshua’s hands began threading through his hair and Seokmin took another deep breath. It felt as if he swallowed the entirety of heaven in one breath, head tilting back just a bit. “I guess that’s relaxing?”

         “Very.” Seokmin closed his eyes. Joshua’s fingers danced along his hair, and Seokmin felt he could do anything in that moment. However, out of all the things he could do, he wanted to sit here with Joshua forever. He wanted to feel these soft, gentle fingers gliding through his scalp with no pattern in mind, simply moving through the locks and scratching any parts that had gone untouched. Seokmin felt warmer than he had on any summer day at this moment, leaning into Joshua’s touch.

         “Hyung.” Seokmin muttered, a hum from above him making his eyes finally open. “I’m sorry I ruined tonight.”

         “You didn’t. I’m sorry you got so overwhelmed.” A scratch on the nape of Seokmin’s neck; he shivered.

         Seokmin took the silence to think back to Joshua’s question from before. Even if you know you’ll get in trouble? “My mom and my sister are having this really big fight right now.” For a second, Joshua’s hands stopped in his hair, tangled among the locks and Seokmin wondered if he said too much. However, gentle fingers resumed before he replied.

         “About what?”

         “Everything. My sister says my mother is controlling, but my mom says my sister doesn’t respect her.” Seokmin pulled a knee to his chest. “My sister came home late the other night and they got into a huge blow out with each other. She’s been staying at a friends and my mom has been trying to figure out where she is.”

         “Did you tell her?” Seokmin shook his head.

         “Only that she’s at a friend’s house. Not who. Eunkyung keeps saying how she wants to stop talking to our mom, how she’s basically being forced out of the house. Which my mom isn’t trying to do. But in the same vein, my mom never knows how to handle problems. She screams and yells, then Eunkyung screams and yells, and-.”

         “You get stuck in the middle.” Seokmin’s eyes casted to the floor. “Seokmin, I’m sorry. That must be so hard.”

         “I know they fight because they’re the same person, you know. Stubborn, prideful. They carry a lot of baggage from tons of different things. But they both carry so much love, and I know they both only mean well. I don’t know what to do this time. I can usually get them to calm down after a few days but Eunkyung won’t even text my mom.”

         Joshua was quiet for a minute, but his hands kept working in Seokmin’s hair.

         “I don’t know what you should do.” Joshua finally sighed. “Or, what you even can do. It sounds like their problem…”

         Seokmin’s neck craned up to look at Joshua, and felt his eyes glaze over with tears again. Joshua looked down, a hand immediately leaving his hair and wiping Seokmin’s eyes.

         “But what if Eunkyung doesn’t come back home?” He heard his voice crack. “I don’t know what I’d do.”

         “That won’t happen.” Joshua assured. “They just need time to calm down. I’m sure they’ll come to common ground soon.” Seokmin straightened his head once again, Joshua continuing to work his fingers into the locks. “Don’t worry about that now, okay?”

         “Okay…”

         “Focus on my brilliant massaging skills, instead. Melt into my touch.” Seokmin laughed a bit, a toothy-grin forming on his face that he couldn’t bite back if he tried.

         “Add it to your resume of random skills, Shua-Hyung.” He said softly. Joshua laughed a bit.

         “I will.” He said. As the apartment fell into silence once more, Seokmin closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of Joshua’s hands in his hair. He knew the tingles that it sent down his spine, and the warmth that bloomed in his chest wouldn’t last forever. Hell, it wouldn’t even last through the night. However, the longer the clock hands ticked away, Seokmin couldn’t help but think about how badly he still wanted to turn and kiss Joshua. How badly he wanted to melt into his touch and thank him for everything he had no obligation to do.         Seokmin, for the next ten minutes, had no intention of using the stop button. If this one tender moment had to come to an end at some point, that didn’t mean all of this – all of Joshua – had too as well. 

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[littlefoxwithadagger]

Zee's 2023 Reads

Stats:

Books read ˋ°•*⁀➷ 62

Books DNFed ˋ°•*⁀➷ 9

Five-star reads ˋ°•*⁀➷ 23

Note: ☆ counts as a half star, since there isn’t a half star emoji

I tried not to tag any books I didn’t like because I don’t like to hate on books in their fandom tags, so if I accidentally tagged something I have a bad review, please tell me 😭

This list is chaos and I defintely ripped into some of these books because I hated them. Be warned. (I’m sorry ACOTAR fans. Maybe don’t read this if that’s your favorite book series. I didn’t hate them, but I certainly had quite a few criticisms.)

Also, if you see the reviews start to get way longer in October, that’s because I started this post in October, so everything I read after that was reviewed immediately after reading.

↳ March (2)

Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard

March 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read this by request of my aunt (it's her favorite book series) and honestly it was just kinda boring and not my taste...not to mention the ending REALLY pissed me off. The whole powers thing was kinda cool, but the dystopian main plot was kind of generic? Which is fine, but this was kind of bland for a first book. Will not be finishing the series.

Glass Sword - Victoria Aveyard

March 10th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This is the sequel to Red Queen, and frankly I think I read about three chapters of it before I DNFed. The main reason I DNFed this was because of the ending of the first book. I won’t go into detail about it because it spoils the end of the first book, but after my favorite character was taken away from me, I couldn’t finish this series.

Overall, I think this series had great potential but bad execution. I may try to read it again in the new year just to give the entire series a proper, full review, but at the time that I read this, I wasn’t into reading much at all and therefore couldn’t read a book just to say I’d read it.

↳ May (7)

Les Misérables - Victor Hugo

May 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

By far my favorite classic thanks to my mom encouraging me to read it. Loads of beautiful prose and a compelling plot line. I especially liked how he wove a bunch of stories that seemed not at all connected into one. Jean Valjean was a very complicated character, and I enjoyed following his story as it progressed. It felt very full-circle, even if the ending was a bit sad. The author took us all over France, and I felt very immersed in the world even though there was no visual for it. I also appreciated seeing the side characters grow over the length of the story. There were quite a few side characters who got a full arc despite not needing it. I'll probably reread this someday, just not now.

Flip the Script - Lyla Lee

May 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is a cute sapphic love story between two teenage actresses starring together in a Korean drama. Fun fact - I didn't realize it was sapphic for a good while and was confused why sexuality was a hot topic in the book. Whoops! Cute anyways, and the plotline kept me interested.

The Selection - Kiera Cass

May 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was my first reread of the year! I read this book back in 2021 originally by request of a friend. Rereading it was a bit of a let-down. I found the main girl annoying at times and overall the plot just kinda felt...meh. I will say that I was a bit disappointed that Maxon was the main guy at first because I really loved Aspen, but I think Maxon grew on me quite a bit more towards the end of this book. It was also easier for me to love him on the reread because I’d followed the full story already, so I think I appreciated his character more on this read than I did on the first read. I'm also not huge into dystopian, so that did kill my enjoyment of this a bit.

The Elite - Kiera Cass

May 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To continue my Selection reread, I read this. This book was better than the first one, though some of it was just very boring if I'm remembering correctly. It was nice to have a smaller group of girls and get to see them getting to know each other better, and this alone made the book more enjoyable than the last. I think the political tension upped a bit in this book, which I didn’t really like, but it did lead to quite a few great scenes between America and Maxon.

The One - Kiera Cass

May 28th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To complete the Selection reread, I read this. This was by far the best book in the trilogy. It was fun and full of action, and Maxon and America finally got themselves together. There was a great love confession from Maxon at the very end which will forever have my heart. Five stars just for making me swoon honestly. There were a few things that frustrated me in this book, such as the fact that America and Maxon still didn’t seem to trust each other for a lot of this book, but that’s their problem, not mine. I definitely enjoyed the scene where America saw Maxon’s scars for the first time. It was a very sweet scene, and I love emotional vulnerability between characters. 💔

Honorable mention - The Heir - Kiera Cass

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book sucked to put it frankly. I recall enjoying it the first time I read it, but upon reread I found the main character entirely unbearable (making America look like a saint) and I think I made it about ten pages before deciding it wasn't worth the reread. I wish I didn't own this book.

The Love Hypothesis - Ali Hazelwood

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was what really got me back into reading, and I'd been wanting to read it for months after hearing about it all over the internet. I gave it four stars at the time because I cringed a bit at the number of times the main girl referred to the main guy as "big" or something of the sort but overall found it enjoyable. Honestly, I'd probably rate this lower if I re-read it, but I'm not going to bother testing that theory. It got me back into picking up books, and that's what matters.

↳ June (9)

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J. Maas

June 10th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book...was disappointing. This was the first book I bought from the store without reading it first because the internet had me so convinced I'd enjoy it. I didn't. I found myself so bored I didn't bother reading past page 100 before I returned the book to the store. I don't really have much to say about it other than it was boring, honestly. Feyre also annoyed me a decent bit.

The Romantics - Leah Konen

June 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book had the same problem as ACOTAR, only far worse. This book felt like it had absolutely no substance, and I read at least half of it. The entire book was narrated by the entity of Love, and all of the characters we got introduced to were only ever surface-level. I felt like I was watching a bunch of strangers interact with each other. Perhaps it was just that young teenage romance isn’t really my cup of tea, but I found the plot entirely uninteresting.

Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

June 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My babyyyyyyyyyy <3 My bread and butter, the reason I got into fantasy books. Definitely not as compelling as the second book, but compelling nonetheless. Jacks and Evangeline have insane tension and it was overall just great. I absolutely loved the whole kisses deal, though I’ll admit this book was NOT what I thought it was. When I picked it up, I was expecting Jacks to be an actual prince, and I was quite surprised to find that he was more of a demigod. Either way, it was a great book, and if you love romantacy, I’d recommend this for SURELY. (I’m biased, can’t you tell? This is a OUBAH blog, after all.)

The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

June 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'd give this book six stars if I could. This entire book was just pining and drama, and I live for it. Not to mention...the Hollow? Yes. Yes, yes yes. Everything about this book, yes. The curses in this book were completely crazy, and I felt like we got a lot more world building in this book. The entire world felt a lot more complete in this book, and we really got to start to piece together Jacks’s backstory. Lovely.

One True Loves - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm pretty sure I actually read this book last year, but it got put into my book tracker in July so I'm leaving it here. This was a cutsey little romance about a girl who goes on a cruise in Europe. I don't remember much about it, but I remember loving the two main characters and the realtionship they had with each other.

Happily Ever Afters - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pretty sure this is the book before One True Loves? They're in the same series, I know that. This was a cutsey little book about a baker guy and a writer girl who ended up at the same high school. Absolutely loved the character growth the main character had over the course of the book.

In Order to Live - Yeonmi Park

June 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a biography written by a woman who escaped North Korea. It was truly an amazing read, and this is the one book I cried while reading this year! I would definitely recommend this to anyone because it is extremely informative while also being very immersive.

Caraval - Stephanie Garber

June 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Back to Stephaine Garber! Honestly, I started reading this series for Jacks, but the first book is something entirely on its own. I absolutely loved Julian and Scarlett, and I'll be rereading this again soon. The book very much immersed the reader, and I felt like I was a player in Caraval myself. There was so much fun to be had in this book, and honestly it could just be read as a stand-alone.

Legendary - Stephanie Garber

June 31st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I drove all the way to the other side of town to get this book, that's how good the first one was. This book was less enjoyable than the first, but the plot was extremely compelling. Sadly, I’m not a huge fan of Tella, so I struggled to immerse myself in this book the way I got immersed in Caraval.

↳ July (11)

(Was I ok in July? How many books is this, Zee?)

Finale - Stephanie Garber

July 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jacks. That's about all I have to say about this book.

Sugar, Spice, and Can’t Play Nice - Annika Sharma

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Not sure why, but I decided to dump $16? $17? on this when I went to Barnes and Noble with a friend, so I had to finish it. There was a tad too much sexual tension and not enough romance between the main characters for my taste, but it was a good book. I especially enjoyed that the author did so much with her own culture in the book. Both of the characters learned the importance of truly connecting with someone over the course of the book, and I thought it was lovely.

The Spanish Love Deception - Elena Armas

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book was...something. I - yet again - purchased a book without reading it first. Learned my lesson this time. I have honestly no idea what this book is about because I read only fifty pages of it and there was...too much of her referring to him as "big" and "tall". I get it. He's tall and wide. Can we please discuss why you hate him? I'd love to know, really. Perhaps this book is for you if you like extreme sexualization of tall, buff men, but it’s not for me.

The Inheritance Games - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

July 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Queen. Puzzles and drama galore, and I love the boys. That's really all I have to say about this. I LOVE puzzles so this book was a big hit with me. Avery is a little genius and I appreciate it, and I also loved getting to see her adapt to her new life.

The Cruel Prince - Holly Black

July 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This read is courtesy of my bestie. She had not finished the series when she recommended it. Still hasn't. (Nani, this is a plea for you to finish it.) I don't recall much of the book, honestly, but the plot was good enough for me to rate it four and a half stars, so...?

The Wicked King - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Cardan and Jude...on the couch...with- ahem. I mean what. What was this book about? Also I love the way Cardan speaks. He’s very formally-spoken and I love that for him.

The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

yESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. This entire book. The ENDING??? Insane. How do I not remember any of the plot of these books besides the end of this one? We'll never know.

Skin of the Sea - Natasha Bowen

July 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was probably pretty great. I personally found the introduction to the plot a bit dragging and it lost my interest because of this, but it sounded like it would eventually be a good and intriguing plot. I may eventually pick this back up, but currently there are other books I am actually excited to read, so for now this will be only a DNF.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

July 17th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

Ahem...this was actually a great book, despite the DNF and star rating. I DNFed this book because it was too gorey, but I'm currently attempting to finish it. The writing is beautiful and the characters are very compelling. The tension between the main characters is lovely. I'm hoping to give this five stars when I finally finish it.

Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

July 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Delicious. A heist, six morally grey characters, lots of fighting and tension - both romantic and plot-wise. Absolutely ate up the characters' backstories. I love a good trauamtic backstory. I was reading fanfics about this book before I even finished reading it, that's how good the character building was. (Sadly I got a ton of the plot spoiled for me between this book and the next because I decided to join the online fandom before finishing the books. I will NOT make that mistake again.)

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories - Holly Black

July 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A goofy short read about Cardan. I love him. That's it.

(Zee said no reading during birthday month apparently? Was I spending too much time being lovesick over my coworker? We'll never know.)

↳ September (6)

The Forgetting - Sharon Cameron

September 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book surprised me. I had no idea what it was about going into it, and I was entirely surprised. Apparently it's dystopian? Sci-fi? Who knew? (not me) Anyways, I loved the two main characters, and the plot was extremely creative. This is definitely going to be a re-read next year. Sadly, the sequel was not about this pair of characters, so I didn’t end up reading it.

Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well, this is a funny story. I put in a request at the library for this book in July, having about zero clue what it was about beyond dragons. I was intrigued, of course, because I LOVE dragons. By the time I got my hands on the book, I'd heard many reviews about how awful the book was. I was convinced I'd hate it, but of course, I had to read it because I waited TWO MONTHS for it. It took a few pages for me to be interested, but it was a VERY good book. I love Xaden. I will kiss him on the head. This got four stars because those smut scenes GAGGED me (and not in a good way), but I have since read worse smut, so perhaps this will be a five-star someday. The smut was truly something, though. I sat on the couch and sobbed from laughter while reading them.

The Stolen Heir - Holly Black

September 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...gorey, honestly. But other than that, a great read. Both main characters are very compelling, and I adore Oak. Sweetest boy. I can't wait to read the second book. It really took us a lot farther into the world of Elfhame, and I appreciated the book for that.

Lightlark - Alex Aster

September 16th, ☆, DNF

I truly wish I could just say "No." and move on with this list, but this book was probably the worst book I've ever read. I read three pages and was so extremely confused that I couldn't continue. To confuse me that awfully in the first three pages of a book is a feat, I'll give her that. I would not recommend this book to anyone, and generally I believe that everything has an audience. I'm sorry if you're a fan of this book, but I just...can't.

Fireworks - Alice Lin

September 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cute book about a girl and her childhood best friend turned Kpop star when they finally reunite at age 18. Soooo much romantic tension, and I loved how the book dealt with mental health. I hope these two live happily ever after.

Reread - Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Yes, I reread it a week after I read it. Sue me. It was a good book. I’ll be rereading it again when my holiday edition shows up.

↳ October (8)

Imogen, Obviously - Becky Albertalli

October 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is going on the list of cutesy sapphic books that make me cry. Absolutely loved the way the realtionship between the two main characters developed, and I thought it did a good job about commenting on what it means to be queer. Also, arguably the best college friend group ever in this book. I'm jealous.

When You Wish Upon a Lantern - Gloria Chao

October 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was ok. It was cute, but I found it slightly boring. I will say it was very good for a first-person dual POV book, which I usually hate and refuse to read.

Assistant to the Villain - Hannah Nicole Maehrer

October 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a funny read, because I expected to hate read it, but it had me kicking and screaming, especially the ending. I was so insanely upset when I realized it was a trilogy (mostly because the ending was absolutely jarring and I didn’t expect it to end on a cliffhanger), but at the same time I'm glad this isn't the last we'll see of these characters. I love books where the villains are villains because they felt like that was all they could be. I love. Beyond all of this, I simply enjoyed to see all the characters interact with each other, and I felt like the author did a good job of humanizing all the characters. Not to mention Kingsley. He’s arguably my favorite character despite having no real lines in the book.

The Hawthorne Legacy - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Puzzles, Hawthorne boys, and...strip bowling (I forgot about this scene until a coworker told me she didn't read the book because there was stripping in it. I laughed.) Anyways I loved Jameson and Avery in this book and that's about all I have to say.

The Final Gambit - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok I’m going to be completely honest this book was one huge blur and it almost felt disconnected from the rest of the series. Don’t get me wrong, it was GREAT, but it was like complete whiplash while simultaneously tying up all the loose ends we had in the last two books. Also *spoilers* but JamesonAvery endgame YAYYYYYY.

Reread - Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

October 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I reread this in preparation for the third book and it took me a month to read. Idk man.

Reread - The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

October 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good soup. Send me to the Hollow, please.

A Curse for True Love - Stephanie Garber

October 24th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*ahem* drum roll please… 🥁🥁🥁 …LOVELY!! Evajacks kiss. This is all I wanted. Also his dimples. And Archer. And- Ok enough about that. To actually review this book, I think it was a great wrap-up of the series. The book had an amazing vibe, and I loved how the first half of the book felt shrouded in mystery since we spent the majority of the time in Evangeline’s head. I read this entire book in one five-hour sitting, completely skipping all the homework I had to do that night just so I could read this IMMEDIATELY. It was totally worth it. I also just loved seeing Jacks as the tortured man I always knew he was. Yes bby be so tortured. Now kiss.

↳ November (8)

A Court of Mist and Fury - Sarah J. Maas

November 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...a book. It had potential to be a great book in the first 100 pages, but somewhere along the way it got kind of insane. Honestly, I feel like it should've been two books. It was over 600 pages and yet I found most of the scenes were a bit too short. Also, there were too many location changes, and this book is where the bad smut truly is. I couldn't even read the smut scenes...I can usually tolerate them. (Is it clear I don't like smut?). The first half of the book set up this lovely dynamic between Rhys and Feyre that I loved and showed me this new, fun world of the Night Court. I only wish that I’d enjoyed the second half of the book as much as I did the first. The second half didn’t get enough development and kind of just all ran together, which sucked. I would’ve given this four stars if the second half had had better pacing.

Honorable mention - The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

November 8th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*cough* *cough* ahem. I reread like half this book for the scenes between Cardan and Jude…especially a specific scene in chapter 21 (if you know you know) and also the ending <3 yes queen get your ma-

Iron Flame - Rebecca Yarros

November 12th , ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(I just finished this book right before I started typing this so excuse my screaming) BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR. HANDS DOWN. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ENDING AND I LOVE YOU REBECCA YARROS. If you like fantasy, I’d recommend this book. (Also rep for the messed up joints girlies 🙏🏼) I love Xaden and Violet sm.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

November 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was very good. Great prose, amazing characters, original plot. I only didn’t give it five stars because I personally felt just a bit disconnected from the story. I didn’t really feel all that stressed by the plot, though this may have been because I only had four hours to read the book. Overall, it was a great book and I’ll be reading the sequel when I have time. (Also, coming off the Iron Flame high does make this book a bit less fascinating.)

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

November 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After four months, I finally bring myself to finish this. A masterpiece. I didn’t want to leave this world, and yet I finally had to. The entire crew has my heart, and that ending broke me. I wanted so badly to simply not read it and make sure it didn’t happen, but here we are. Our gang all got their not-quite-happily-ever-after, and this may or may not have been the only book to make me cry ever. (That’s not true, but I can’t remember which other book I cried at. Perhaps it was my own.) Five stars. I will be returning to this duology someday to reabsorb the masterpiece that it is.

Drizzle, Dreams, and Lovestruck Things - Maya Prasad

November 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was pretty good. The sisters had a cute relationship and the inn was fun. The book was split into four parts - one for each sister - and personally I enjoyed the first two the best. The third one was also pretty cute, but the last one…I didn’t connect with the character as well, and her plot seemed to drag. I actually stopped reading like 3 pages before the end because the plot was basically over like 20 pages before and it was just focusing on side characters. I think I’m just not a huge fan of slice of life in book form, so if you like that, then this book is for you. I have the sequel sitting on my shelf, but I might just take it back to the library at this point.

A Court of Wings and Ruin - Sarah J. Maas

November 23rd, ⭐️⭐️

This book was way too long, to put it bluntly. I considered DNFing it a number of times, and the plot just seemed to drag on. I don’t understand what Maas has against question marks, either. I can’t tell you how many times I read a question in here that ended with a period. I’m not sure whether it was supposed to emphasize tone or what she was trying to do, but it was extremely irritating and distracting. I didn’t notice this happening in the other two books, but maybe I just missed it. The only reason I finished this book was so that I could read ACOSF with full context because I do love Cassian and Nesta, but otherwise I probably would’ve DNFed about 2/3 of the way in. The fandom wasn’t kidding when they said ACOMAF was the best book in the series. I’m only glad I finished this because of the Nessian scene we got at the end 💔 my heart cried.

A Court of Silver Flames - Sarah J. Maas

November 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

To my surprise and delight, this book has question marks!!! Yayyy!!! To start this review off, I’ll begin by saying - Sarah finally got a decent review out of me. I really enjoyed this book except for a few small details. Now, that may just be because I love Cassian and Nesta, but I consider it a win that she wrote two characters that I LOVE.

That being said, this book made me dislike Rhysand even more than I already did. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I find him a bit intolerable. I won’t dwell on this point, but I found him especially irritating in relation to the Feyre B-plot. Oof. That in combination with the ridiculous number of smut scenes made me knock this down a star. I was fine with them at first, but then it just became too much. Google says there were only 7 smut scenes in the book, but I swear there were more. This is just a personal gripe and nothing against the book or its readers, but it certainly downgraded my enjoyment of it.

Beyond that, I really loved the tension between Cassian and Nesta, and I also enjoyed seeing the two of them work through their issues. They’re extremely sweet and I love them. One thing though - Sarah, why did you tease a mating ceremony for like three pages and then we don’t even get to see it??? Miss ma’am at the very least I wanted to see Cassian being all sweet as they consummated the mating or whatever. But instead we get another scene of someone crying over Feyre’s painting??? COME ON!!! This will probably be the only time I’ll rate an SJM book over 3 stars.

↳ December (11)

The Brothers Hawthorne - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

December 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To start this off, I was completely thrilled to read a book about the boys. Don’t get me wrong, I love Avery, but the three youngest Hawthorne brothers have always piqued my interest more. I honestly didn’t think a book in this series could be better than the others, but there was something about this book that was even more incredible than the trilogy. This book was even better than I thought it would be. I expected to enjoy Jameson’s part of the story even more than Grayson’s part, but I actually found myself enjoying getting to know Grayson quite a bit more. (Don’t get me wrong, I loved Jameson’s part of the story, but this book made me love Gray a lot more.). I’d give this book six stars if I could. Absolutely lovely and completely compelling read, and I love all the new characters we’re introduced to. I do hope that someday we get a book about Xander and Nash, but for now, this will quench my Hawthorne thirst. I definitely have a new favorite Hawthorne though (sorry Jameson). I will kiss Gray-

The Half-Life of Love - Brianna Bourne

December 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Uh so to put it simply. I hated this book (in the best way possible). I don’t know why I read this. I knew how it would end from the start, but it intrigued me enough that I read it anyways!!?? Haha. I sobbed at the ending. I never want to think about this book again. I loved the characters but I hated the plot. That’s it. (I will also say this book dealt HEAVILY with death and was very heavy so. Yeah. Be warned.) Update after a week of processing: I actually loved this book a lot, but it broke my heart. I loved the character development that Flint went through over the course of the book, and it absolutely broke me that that was the end. I may change my star rating for this before I officially post this, but for now it stays at 3 for hurting me.

Fireborne - Rosaria Munda

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was…odd, to say the least. It had potential, but something about the world building felt off to me. Perhaps it’s just not my vibe. My main gripe with it has to be the characters’ names. Some of them had very modern names, some of them had very old names, and some of them only went by extremely weird nicknames. The names alone took me out of the immersion of the world, because every time I’d finally get into it, I’d read a name and go oh, yeah, this is a book. It took me about a week to decide to DNF this, but after reading so many books I genuinely enjoyed, I just couldn’t force myself to finish it.

Greymist Fair - Francesca Zappia

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was one of my most anticipated reads of the season. I saw the cover at the library and was like oh, yeah, that’ll be a good read. I didn’t even read the summary. Turns out, I was so right. The book kind of has similar vibes to the tales of The Brothers Grimm, but oddly I didn’t find any of this story very creepy. It was dark and a bit gory, but I thoroughly enjoyed the progression of the story. I wouldn’t say this was a five-star read, but I really enjoyed this book. It’s a collection of stories about Greymist Fair that weave together very beautifully, and I absolutely love the atmosphere this book created. Come to find out after I read it, it’s classified as a horror book? I would’ve probably said it was more paranormal fiction, but alas. This was not a horror book to me. I should know, I hate horror. Would definitely recommend this book to anyone who likes morally twisted fantasy books - especially classic fae stories. This book gave me similar vibes to those.

The Matzah Ball - Jean Meltzer

December 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was so much fun. I think I read it in 3.5 hours. I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, because honestly it’s one of the four Christmas (this book wasn’t technically Christmas but based on certain themes I think you could categorize it that way) books I impulsively rented from the library, but I loved it. The main girl had a chronic illness, and as someone who struggles physically myself, I really enjoyed reading about a main character going through the mental struggles of such a thing. This book gave silly Hallmark movie vibes, but it was completely enjoyable. The main guy was extremely sweet albeit a bumbling idiot, and I actually didn’t mind the major misunderstanding trope that carried this plot. I also really enjoyed reading a book that included lots of Jewish culture. It felt like home. There were a few aspects of this book I found a bit childish for a book about two people who were nearly thirty, but I guess different people enjoy different things. It was a fun, quick read if you’re looking for something with a holiday theme.

These Hollow Vows - Lexi Ryan

December 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

I’m not really sure why, but I started reading this in October and couldn’t get into it. A couple pages in and I was HOOKED. I love me a book about Fae realms. (At least, the original Fae. ACOTAR was too far from the source material for me to enjoy it, sadly.) This book has all the mystery and wonder of the Fae lands while being extremely simple to read and understand. I LOVED the plot progression, and the plot twists were predictable in a roundabout way where you could sort of guess them, but they still surprised you. The ending made me scream in both an angry and excited way. I totally saw the ending coming, but it still pissed me off!

I can’t wait to read the next book, but sadly I must wait until I return from vacation. I would DEFINITELY recommend this if you like fae books, especially if you enjoyed The Cruel Prince. The only reason I didn’t give this book five stars is that I felt the side characters were all a bit underdeveloped. I’m not sure if this was on purpose since the book is from the main character’s point of view, but I felt like I didn’t even know the love interests well enough to actually make a good judgement of either of them. I did, according to the ending, end up pegging both of their true characters correctly, but I still felt they were underdeveloped for how much time they spent in the book.

Honorable mention - The Queen of the Tearling - Erika Johansen

December 24rd, unrated, DNF

I tried to read this book about ten different times before I had to return it to the library, but it just isn’t my cup of tea. It didn’t capture my attention in the twenty pages I read, and I don’t think I can follow the character on her journey. It’s very sad, because I truly love a learned royalty plot, but I couldn’t do it. Perhaps I will pick it up again someday, but I don’t plan on it being anytime in the near future.

Defy the Night - Brigid Kemmerer

December 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok, this one surprised me. I picked this book up at the library back in the summer, but I realized it was dual POV, and at that point I just couldn’t handle reading that, so I returned the book. I picked it up again on Christmas because my grandma bought me a kindle and I really wanted to try it, but the options at my library that were immediately available were limited. I’m so glad I gave it a second chance, because I loved it. This book had everything I love in a fantasy novel. There were so many twists I didn’t see coming, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. This book made me enjoy a wholly political plot, and I love that for it. Usually, I’m not a huge fan of political plots, but I loved the way this one developed. The romance was absolutely adorable as well, and it made me so happy I decided to give this book a second chance. As it stands, I will probably be reading the sequel tomorrow, and I am very excited, although I’m a bit upset the third book isn’t out until January! I was so happy to give another book five stars this month, because with how it was going, I didn’t think I would be.

Defend the Dawn - Brigid Kemmerer

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Hah. This book. True to my word, I finished it the day after Defy the Night. I’ll be honest, this book was slightly disappointing after how amazing the first book was, but I’ll let it slide solely because we got to know a new and amazing character. Besides that, this book did BOUNDS of character work. We got to know more and more about our main characters, and they all learned to overcome their stubbornness in this book. One thing I really loved about this book is that we got to see more about how close the brothers are. I feel like I don’t read many books where boys are very close to each other, especially not in a royalty setting, so it was refreshing to read a book where two brothers rule the throne united instead of going to war over it.

I was a bit disappointed that they spent the majority of the book on a ship, but because of the development that happened in the ship both character-wise and plot-wise, I can’t necessarily complain. For one, we got away from Allisander in this book, and I really had no character in this book more than him (yet). I’m very excited to read the last book when it comes out, though I wish I could read it right now. This series is truly worth the hype it had when I first discovered it, and I can’t wait to see where the relationships go in the next book.

The Lost Sisters - Holly Black

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Truth be told, this was a whole lot shorter than I thought it would be. It was essentially a letter from Taryn to Jude about the events of the first book. I found it to be a very interesting character study, honestly, and it showed us a bit more about Cardan too. I would recommend reading this if you’ve read The Cruel Prince series.

These Twisted Bonds - Lexi Ryan

December 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oh my gosh this book did more than I could’ve ever imagined it would. This book gave me all the character development the first book was lacking, and the way the plot developed was insanely amazing. I absolutely love Finn, and the way he calls Abriella Princess just absolutely melts me. The world got extremely fleshed out in this book, and I really enjoyed seeing how this author put her own twist on the world of the Fae. I also, oddly, really liked how the spice was done in this book. It was there but it mostly lacked detail and description, which is how I like my spice. I want a vague idea and nothing more! 😆 Overall, I really enjoyed this book, and it will probably be my last book of the year. I think it was a great conclusion to this year’s reading, and I’m glad I ended the year on a high note.

If you read this far, thanks for sticking around! For 2024, I will be doing monthly wrap-ups, so don’t expect another post like this…unless I decide to do a yearly wrap-up after my monthly ones are done…

If you have any recommendations to start my year off, tell me! I currently am planning on reading the Percy Jackson series, but that’s the only thing I’m really looking forward to reading

[qoqurt]

✶ ⋆ .˚ ⊹₊⋆ ONE FOR THE BOOKS .ᐟ

daisy and park sunghoon’s friendship history .ᐟ

about daisy | au masterlist

♡゛BASICS .ᐟ

how did they meet? daisy and sunghoon met when they were both incredibly young, as they grew up in the same neighbourhood. he and david were on the same hockey team, having been introduced to daisy right after.

their first impressions of each other?

daisy and sunghoon were quick to form a bond, having been only 6 and 7 respectively when they met. for daisy, she saw sunghoon as her brother’s cool friend – immediately wanting to befriend him as well. it was easy for them to get along, especially when they only knew each other during their skating lessons.

similarly, sunghoon was quick to warm up to daisy, through david – seeing as he was the one to introduce the two. they bonded quickly over their love for figure skating, and it was sunghoon who encouraged daisy to pursue it competitively.

favorite memory they have of each other? sunghoon and daisy’s fondest memories of each other date back to when they were around 12 and 13, when their families took a trip together to jeju.

♡゛DETAILS .ᐟ

songs that represent them:

star 1117 – ateez

love lee – akmu

never grow up – taylor swift

love. — wave to earth

seasons — wave to earth

phonecert – 10cm

contact names:

sunghoon’s (for daisy): heeda 🐟

daisy’s (for sunghoon): hoonsung 🐧

contact photos:

( from left to right: sunghoon on daisy’s phone, daisy on sunghoon’s phone )

tropes and dynamics: grump x sunshine, small x tall, twin flames, sun and moon, childhood friends, opposites attract

nicknames:

sunghoon’s: hoonie, hoon, grumpy, hoonsung, sungie

daisy’s: hee-ah, heehee, dolhee, heeda, parasite

love languages:

sunghoon’s: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch

daisy’s: quality time, gift giving, physical touch

favorite things to do together? jam sessions (singing together), skating, dancing, walking their dogs together, playing video games, working out together, going out for food, late night walks

♡゛FUN FACTS .ᐟ

sunghoon is daisy’s oldest friend, right before stella and drea — who are two of her closest friends.

though they’re both rather introverted, daisy’s the more outgoing one between the two of them.

daisy often visits sunghoon when they both have free time during the summer, during her trips to korea.

sunghoon has once guest starred on her radio show, where they did a cover of dream by baekhyun and suzy.

daisy calls sunghoon as often as she can, despite the time zone differences and their hectic schedules.

despite having known sunghoon for so long, she doesn’t actually know the rest of his group mates all too well. sunghoon’s a bit of a gatekeeper. she ends up meeting them when she reaches out to them to surprise sunghoon for his birthday.

daisy and sunghoon will often walk their dogs together — claiming gaeul and dubu are siblings — despite their dogs only sharing similarities in colour and appearance.

their parents often joked about setting them up.

in their trio with stella ( @wintfleur ‘s oc ) , they’re often referred to as mom and dad — and are often called out for “bickering like an old married couple.”

though daisy can often be guarded when it comes to feeling stressed and burnt out, she finds she can easily rely on sunghoon, and vice versa.

daisy and sunghoon are incredibly in tune with one another — especially from having known each other for years. they remember the littlest details about one another, and are both incredibly sentimental.

sunghoon was daisy’s first kiss, happening when they were around 14-15. they went on one date after it — but haven’t spoken about it since it happened.

 ♡゛THEIR THINGS .ᐟ

calling each other by their full names to get each other’s attention

owning all of sunghoon’s hand me downs

falling asleep on each other in the back of the car

sharing one singular long scarf

daisy stuffing her hands into sunghoon’s pockets when she forgets gloves

giving each other oddly specific compliments

radiating off of each other’s energy – always matching each other 

deep cleaning together

note from mei ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ 1/3 friendship posts done !!! i’m not 100% sure what to tag this as mostly because it’s an nhl au at the end of the day (despite the addition of enhypen to my silly little au), but i hope you guys like it regardless!

pookie tags: @iceflwers @wintfleur @lovings4turn

( feel free to ask to be tagged ! )

[chewingchan]

Affection - Chapter Two

Chapter Two of Affection

Synopis: Being in love with your childhood friend wasn’t the best feeling ever, even more so now that he got himself a girlfriend. Moving in with him didn’t seem like the best idea either, but life always brings us the most unexpected gifts.

Content info: Chan x afab reader, Changbin x afab reader, angst/fluff, best friend Chan, brother Felix, roommates Minho and Changbin, Minho x Jisung

Spotify Playlist.

- Seo Changbin! Put the flour down, now!

Living with Chris turned out to be easier than expected, despite the whole girlfriend situation. It took me a while to get used to it, but I’ve always been an expert at hiding my feelings.

What I did not expect were the other two boys that came along with the whole experience.

Changbin Seo is short, full of muscles and extremely whiny. Despite all of that he’s the sweetest boy I have ever met, extraordinarily intelligent and with, as he says, great morals. You can never predict what he’s going to do or say and, more often than not, that was kind of alarming, especially if you’re not used to his chaotic energy. He likes to think that he’s some kind of bad boy, but in reality, he’s just a cute puppy full of energy with a very, and I repeat, VERY loud voice.

- Yah! Stop screaming or I’ll swear I’ll kill you both.

Minho Lee is scary, there’s no doubt in that. He’s the typical cat mom, a total introvert with watchful eyes and a very solid personality (he gets irritated pretty easily too), but once you get to know him, he’s just a soft boy who likes to cook and treat people he loves more often than considered normal, a true tsundere. Oh, I almost forgot! On top of everything, he was the one who brought Soonie, Doongie and Dori to our home along with himself, so that’s a plus!

- Minmin, tell Changbin to stop attacking me, pretty please? I’m trying to bake us red velvet cupcakes! – I begged, trying to pull off a cute expression, even though I had a messy hair and was covered in flour from head to toe. - Sorry, pretty girl. – He winked at me – I’m too busy… Petting Soonie. I’d appreciate a cupcake later though. - Everybody knows you love when I tease you! – Changbin smirked – Stop pretending, pumpkin. - Ok. – I took the bowl out of his hands and winked at him – Keep on dreaming, big boy. - That’s disgusting. – Minho threw himself down on the sofa.

And that’s how our days usually rolled, since Chan was out most of the time. Living with him made me realize maybe I didn’t need him as much anymore, and that made me feel free, on top of all. Changbin and Minho were the family I didn’t know I needed.

- So… I was thinking about bringing Jisung over. – Minho had an uncertain look on his face – Thoughts on that? - Oh my God, finally! – I exclaimed, happily – It was about time! I’m dying to meet the lover boy.

Jisung Han was one of Felix’s closest friends, who turned out to become Minho’s most recent love interest. Changbin and I were extremely surprised by the news when he told us, since Minho isn’t the type to get involved. But the younger boy sure seemed to have stolen the oldest’s heart, leaving him in a dreamy and happy mood almost every single day. It was an understatement to say we were really excited to meet Jisung.

- If I didn’t know you, I would say you were embarrassed to introduce us to him. – Changbin said, always being a tease – Isn’t that right? - Of course I was embarrassed. – Minho tease back, with a serious face – Look at you both, who wouldn’t be? - ANYWAYS, - I intervened before things went further – When is he coming? I can invite Felix too, you know… So he doesn’t feel too uncomfortable, being surrounded with strangers and all. - That sounds like a plan. – Minho seemed relieved – Thanks, I appreciate that. - It’s all good. – I smiled – Do you think Chris will be here too? - At this point, I don’t really know. – Changbin sounded a little disappointed – He doesn’t even talk to me anymore, and guess what? We’re doing projects together. It’s been tough, I’m not gonna lie.

I was sad for Changbin. Chan has been distancing himself from us lately, and none of us wanted to bother nor confront him about it, but it was affecting the relationship of the household, even if it was just a bit. Binnie, being the closest to him AND attending the same classes as Chan, was the most affected by it.

- I’m so sorry, Binnie – I tried to comfort him – I’m sure Chris will come to his senses and…

At that moment, Chan burst through the door, crying and with an angry look on his face.

- Chris? What happened? – I rushed to him. - She cheated on me.

[thevoidofnothingness]

if this is our first kiss, why are your lips so familiar?

“Hey, have you talked to Fionna recently?”

Marshall stopped strumming his guitar and looked up at Gary, who until 2 seconds ago, was quietly baking his heavenly baked goods (at the request of Marshall).

“Not really. Like I said, she always comes and goes whenever she wants. Especially after she gets fired. Which happens like, a lot.” Yet Gary didn’t look convinced. “Why, when was the last time you spoke with her?”

“Spoke? Probably that night she was a corpse walking while looking for Cake and I made her an iced coffee. She yelled something about too much ice and then poof, gone. I was worried back then too, but knew I was supposed to see her the next day anyways and let it go.” Gary made another face. “Actually, the last time I communicated at all with her at all was the day I met you and she texted me that she was fine.”

“Huh, that was a good day. Got a new vinyl and got to taste more of your stuff. Baked, I mean.” The pink tint that covered Gary’s cheeks did not go unnoticed by Marshall. 

He’s been doing that a lot in the last week that they’ve been hanging out. Saying things in a way that he knew would cause Gary to fluster in some way, trying to get his face to match his hair. After Fionna’s disappearing act, their main friend left a hole in their normal routine that needed filling and they did that for each other.

“Yeah, good day all around besides my investors hating me and everything I’ve ever worked for.” Marshall winced at the mention of that particular part of their day.

“And while you won’t let me take blame even though it was all my fault, I’m still sorry about that.” And that was the other thing. Gary had been down since the Lemoncarb twins shot down his idea for his bakery. Marshall took full blame for that incident, even after Gary tried to make him feel better about bringing them in.

And there lies the issue. Gary Prince. It was like there was some string that would tighten every time Gary made him feel something . Whether it was annoyance, amusement, or some third thing he tried to avoid thinking about, the pull Marshall felt towards the other man was clear. It felt comforting. It felt familiar. And the familiar feeling is what confused Marshall. After all, before that day in Fionna’s apartment, he had never even spoken to the man. He lived a life free of any Gary Princes. And now, as forward and naive as it sounded, Marshall felt like he couldn’t live his life without him.

Gary came up to him and grabbed his face between his hands. “Hey, I told you it was okay! You were just trying to do what you thought would help me. I can see and appreciate the kind intent even without proper results.” Marshall froze, being hyper aware of the fact that their faces were very close together, their noses inches apart. “You’d do that for anyone.”

And Marshall couldn’t help himself. “No, I wouldn’t.” He couldn’t lie to Gary right now. He felt an overwhelming need to express just how far he had gone for Gary. “I wouldn’t call in a favor with my mother for just anyone.” He had to let him know that he wasn’t just anyone. Gary Prince was special.

“You called your mom for me?” While he’s mentioned his strained relationship with his mother, he hadn’t disclosed exactly when the last time he spoke to her was.

“Yeah, I asked if she could send the Lemoncarb twins to this bakery because the next great thing was happening right under her nose and if she didn’t scoop you up, she’d regret it for the rest of his life.” Gary’s eyes widened at the end. He searched Marshall’s face for any lies before determining the obvious. There was no reason for Marshall to lie to him.

“You mean that?” Before Marshall could answer, Gary was pulling him forward until their lips met. It was a sweet and brief kiss. One that, unfortunately, would become the only kiss shared between Marshall Lee and Gary Prince. 

Yet that isn’t the end of the story. Because in another universe, unknown to the couple, a mission was completed that allowed magic back into the universe of the adventurer Fionna and her feline companion Cake.

And due to the rebirth of Ooo, the return of all of its citizens' former lives and memories is possible. 

And now there stood two people. Two people that had met before even the birth of Fionna. Two people whose lives had been intertwined with one another for decades, attempting to leave but being pulled toward one another every single time. A pull that transcended anything the universe could throw at them, even when the universe was rewritten. A fact that they both seem to realize that brought a smile to their faces. So instead of a Marshall Lee and a Gary Prince who have just kissed for the first time, you have Marshall Lee, the vampire king, and Prince Gumball, the ruler of the Candy Kingdom, kissing for their hundredth, thousandth, maybe millionth time, and feeling the same sparks as if it was their first.

[minsungchronology]

My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2021)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don’t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

Good god their flirting has really ramped up this year.

If 2020 was subtle, then this year it’s more on the surface. I really think 2021 is where you get to see just how good their chemistry is and how well they bounce off of each other.

I think at this point they’ve found their footing and are very comfortable with each other. It’s so interesting to see their progression on camera, when you get to watch everything in order from the beginning to now. I keep saying this but it’s actually such a fun experience. There’s not a lot of content during the first half of the year because of Kingdom mostly. But the show really shows you how insane each member’s work ethic is, how talented they are, and how hard they work as a group. Not just with each other, but the staff who are with them 24/7 as well.

But back to the main topic:

They seem a lot surer of themselves and are blatantly flirty. Han is the boldest he’s ever been (the development). The members are openly more 😏🤔😟 of them. I think the teasing comes back in full force this year. 

First (I noted this in the video), this moment is debatable to me:

I know a lot of shippers talk about this one even though it’s not explicitly confirmed, but it’s during the Chan’s room Vlive where Lee Know recommends a few songs, one of them being Johnny Balik’s Honey. They briefly talk about the song and how LK has an affinity for listening to multiple songs of the same artist, etc. Then all of a sudden Chan asks if he likes “honey” with an almost teasing? tone of voice. LK is a bit taken aback by his question and is like “why do you ask?” And Chan says, “just because”.

I’m on the side that Chan was deliberately trying to tease him about Han “Hannie” (his name sounds like honey when you add the -ie particle). On multiple occasions, the members have also made connections with Han’s name and honey before, especially with JYP’s “Honey” song. LK’s confused reaction kind of adds on to that with him quickly saving the question by answering about actual 🍯. But again, this moment is debatable b/c it’s not as clear cut like the other moments I’ve placed in this project. I’m actually curious to see what opinions people have on this moment.

Then there’s Seungmin who blatantly says they act “lovey dovey” off camera (lmfao what tf does he see??????) and commenting on their photobooth photos and how they look like a couple. I think out of all the members, him and Changbin have the least filter when it comes to LK and Han. Chan is a close third.

Then there’s I.N feeling like a “third wheel” during the cooking show and subtlety alluding to that because of their high energy together.

Now onto the moments that make me go “what??”:

In Mysterious Kitchen, Lee Know asks himself what his favorite food is and Han very quietly but instantly blurts out “Me”. Man forgot the cameras were on for a second. 😭

Then comes the infamous Vlive where LK forgets to tell Han he turned on the speaker to his phone. Han ends up calling him “Jagi” through the phone and starts stuttering and panicking as soon as he realizes that everyone and their mom can hear him. If they played it off as a joke I wouldn’t raise my brows towards it at all, but Han panicked, so it must mean something and how they want/don’t want to be perceived at this point in time.

Han does come on his next live and clarifies that he also calls the other members that and vice versa (which again, it’s normal to use terms of endearment towards your friends), but him getting nervous and stuttering on himself when being caught with calling LK that is quite telling.

And then all of a sudden after this incident you have them openly calling other members “Jagi” on camera,,, when that has NEVER happened before. (LK did it as a joke back in 2018 at a fansign, but it was still a joke at the end of the day so…)

Another moment I want to point out is how LK mentioned on the radio show that Han is a “Yes man” when it comes to him (feel like this is also very much reciprocated, you’ll see this a lot next year). Recently, a Two Kids show episode came out and Han talked about how he doesn’t like hanging out with people in general. In the past, he’s also been open about being more of a homebody than someone who is constantly out and about. Compared to him, LK is more outdoorsy and adventurous, so it’s speaks volumes when Han almost always agrees to LK’s suggestions, and LK immediately understanding Han’s boundaries without any protest when he’s like “I don’t want to go out today, I already used up my energy for that”. Getting a little glimpse of that just shows you how well they “get” each other and how mutual/healthy their friendship (as we can see) is.

Personal Opinions:

I think this year, they are very much at a place where they’re the most comfortable they’ve ever been with each other.  I still think at this point they consider each other to be just friends and are able to maintain that, but they have no reservations playfully flirting with each other and even toe the line sometimes. Like the other members also seem to be very much aware that they have a special bond and aren’t shy about teasing them.

I also believe very, very late into this year, there’s a glaring awareness between them that the “more than platonic” feelings are mutual. But, again, they’re able to maintain their friendship while realizing that they might have something *special*. That’s probably why all of the playful flirting manifested this year.

2022 is where things start to get noticeably blurrier in the platonic/non-platonic department. It’s where I also believe at some point, maybe in the middle of that year, before or very early on in the Maniac Tour, is when they started something.

[evita-shelby]

Tie your heart to mine

Chapter 6

Cw: mentions of recreational drug use, mentions of euthanasia

Gif by @damatheirin

She has been here plenty of times and yet she is twice as nervous as she was when she came here for supper the first time.

There is a wariness Douglas hides as Tom calls her his girl.

Tom held her hand, kissed like he meant it and called her his bird.

Bird, she’d come to know meant girlfriend.

“How was your first day at your office?” Lois asked as she helped her with dinner, something Lois had found strange at first but then they fell into the old routine they had before they learned the truth.

She may be richer than God, but she is still Diane.

Something Douglas did not quite believe.

He is just watching out for his kids, she supposed.

He used to like her fine before it all happened, but then again Diane had been lying about herself.

“S’good, I think. No one rioted, it didn’t collapse in a day and by the end of the month, I suppose it will be up to Shelby standards and be ready to change gears at any second now. My mom says it won’t be long before the Nazis take Poland and France.” She says forgetting Harry is in Poland.

It’s nearly July now, her mom gave it till August or September 1st before the second world war officially began.

“Did she see it in the cards, like you do?” Lois asks, hoping she could pretend it wasn’t true.

But her words do catch the men’s attention, especially Douglas who knows Tom may be called to serve.

“Yes, but confirmation came from friends she has in certain places. Germany and Russia are gearing up for grand scale invasions because they know those two countries are not prepared for one let alone the two of them.” Diane answered, seeing Tom in a naval uniform as she set his plate in front of him.

The sight is enough to shock her but hides it because she can’t bear the thought of never seeing him again or him returning a shell of his former self.

“Your Harry will be evacuated, but he’s a translator and those leave when the Embassy stops needing them.” Diane is incapable of being comforting in a way that is not acceptable to anyone who is not a Shelby.

Shelbys like kind words, but also the cold truth.

Rip off the band-aid.

“When I met your dad, he said, ‘Well, at least you get to leave, but you will be fucked in the head like the rest of us for life, I am afraid’.” Douglas said trying to distract Lois who did not take her words as comfort.

Who would anyways.

“When I was ten, he euthanized my filly after it got a disease in its hoofs, he said ‘sweetheart, sometimes death is a kindness’.” She says not helping her case. “I am afraid your Tom has saddled himself with a girl from a family full of freaks.”

“If you ask me, I don’t think he gives a shit about it.” Tom brought himself into the conversation.

“Language, Tom.” Lois chastised playfully, regaining some of her previous cheer by pushing the bad news to the back of her mind.

“As if you didn’t hear her say worse when we all got arrested.” Tom reminds her with that same old grin of his.

Spirits, she is so in love with this boy.

“She’s gonna marry him.” Eva tells her husband after he joined her in her very relaxing bath.

Made more relaxing by that joint of homegrown marijuana she just shared with him.

Better get him too calm to do anything when she has to give him news he doesn’t like.

And right now, Tommy’s only thinking about he’s needed this since their girl went to Manchester with the Lees.

“Yeah, he says he loves her and wouldn’t stop being with her for all the money in the world.” He admits, something Eva only half knew.

She knew about the threat he made because she had to calm him down before he wrecked his entire office.

“And he won’t, they will make a handsome couple, he in his sailor uniform, her in my old dress.” She said seeing them walk out of the courthouse looking so happy and knowing any happiness they have will be what warms them on the lonely nights to come.

“His dad is a pacifist, doubt he’d let the boy j enlist, let alone in the navy.” Tommy snorts before returning the ever-shrinking makeshift cigarette back to her.

“Not going to have a choice, it’s the Navy for prison.” Eva says with a bad feeling.

So much potential and the boy just threw it away.

Everyone told him he was heading nowhere so often Tom Bennett believes it.

A shame he will not realize his own potential until he sees the ugliness of war.

“I just wanted better for our little witch.” He said with a resigned sigh.

“So says any father who wants the best for their child, Tommy.” His wife said softly.

“Do you think our Diane hates me?” he asked hoping for a nice lie.

Except they don’t do sweet sounding lies in this family.

“Got a job today.” He admits it was as if it were some big secret. “Mechanic, a shop with some of mates from school that’s by the pub.”

Just know this, even if you managed to get your head out of your arse, you wouldn’t be worthy of my daughter.

Tom could hear the fucking words every fucking time he was with her.

It gnawed at him.

Yeah, it is one fucking thing to know you are nothing but a bloody nuisance, but it’s another for a fucking stranger to tell you will never be good enough for a girl with free will of her own.

He knows it, alright, but Tom could bet his sorry arse that Thomas fucking Shelby wasn’t good enough for his wife either.

Just like granddad looked at dad the same and just like Tom and his dad know Lois is too good for Harry Chase.

“I’m happy for you, when do you start?” she asks hiding whatever got her give that frightened gasp this evening.

Gets visions or feelings about the future. Not always a bad thing, but if it had been a good thing, she would told them.

If it had been a good thing, Diane wouldn’t be holding on to him like he might die tonight.

“Tomorrow morning, I’ll walk you to your factory every morning on my way to work and that.” he answers tracing patterns on the arm draped across his chest.

“I’d like that, might even slip away from my office to see you, Tom.” She gives a quiet chuckle, moving even closer to him.

What in hell had she seen that her like that?

[proustianlesbian]

*i forgot to do my reviews for ep 3 and 4 of ft during both weeks smh.

episode 3 : very sweet vacation at the see also i was not aware of the joseph mccarthy and roy cohn gay allegations (not together). chokbar de bz like we say in french.

[insert here abby lee miller looking around her gif].*

diversity wins i guess, the anticommunist prosecutor who ruined so many lives is jewish AND gay. like tbh i didn't know at all because it wasn't written on his wikipedia french bio (but him bringing his mom to parties was though). like i thought the jokes about him and schine were just because theses environnement are full of men. i love the lightning on this show but it really stroke me during the scene where marcus walks in the alley at night. the costumes are so beautiful, i love the cuts of their suits.

*episode 4 : loved the christmas episode too. i knew mary's colleague was plotting something since episode one's ending. but also i'm scared for 80s timeline tim :(*

i love the actor of roy cohn also. like he's serving. serving conservative homophobic self-hating jewish but serving nonetheless (i'm not a irl roy cohn stan btw, will brill just absolutely serves as him). it was so sweet seeing tim and hawk being happy though (especially as i write those lines specifically right before the diffusion of the last episode). also small detail but it was interesting to see how even when the jewish person (here cohn) is on their side and does everything "right" to be accepted, people will still be antisemitic towards him (mccarthy and his wife).

episode 5 :

the scene of marcus and frankie on the bench ☹️☹️☹️ "i should have let him paint them red." killed me. i was so shocked by the death of senator smith though ??!! the scene where he looks at pictures with lucy was so sad in retrospect. also it's very funny seeing tim lurking around the mccarthy/cohn/schine trio. he's just a little guy. also lucy smith leave your husband and runaway with me !! i can make you happy queen ! she's so gorgeous and dresses so well i love her so much, and even more since this episode. i felt so sorry for her brother and how he gets no real help from anyone. and the last scene ☹️.

episode 6 :

lucy's outfits and hair are so gorgeous !! i really love what we saw her wearing in this episode's 1950s timeline, especially her baby blue and yellow dresses.

hawk being a daughter's father oh he's so real, kendall roy feminist icon coded to me.

the shot of tim in the police car with the back window showing hawk on the road is SICK. like i felt a pain in the heart. and i loved the last shot of hawk hugging jackson.

i kinda wish there was an episode in between 5 and 6 but at the same time it makes sense. we just didn't get used to hawk's children and had jackson for only one episode.

episode 7

an episode for the tim laughlin lesbian fans for real !! it broke my heart for the romance part but i could learn some things about harvey milk ! i'm not american so i didn't know he was murdered (or didn't remember it) but i read on wikipedia that he was jewish too ! i really love the costumes of the 70s, they're all so beautiful and fitting for the characters :'). i love all the small details in the sets and decorations, each of the era have a unique vibe ! i'm absolutely terrified for tomorrow's episode, i'm not ready to see them go at all !!

[aller-geez]

Get to know: Levi Anderson

Owned by @thekinkyleopard 🖤

27 // Male He/Him // Homosexual // Irish & Russian Shifter Snow Leopard

Full name: Levi Flynn Anderson

Nickname: Lee or Kitten

Date Of Birth: Sept 24th, 1995

Big Three: Libra🌞 Sagittarius 🌝 Sagittarius ↗️

Physical Appearance —

Age: 27 looks 23

Eye Color: Light Blue

Hair Color: White with black roots

Weight: 118

Height: 5’7

Race: Irish & Russian Snow Leopard Shifter

Distinguishing Marks or Characteristics: Freckles all over his body, especially his face, he always has his angel fangs and right hoop nostril piercing in. He has a white mullet style hair cut with black sides, he cuts his own hair.

Personality —

Greatest Strength: Kindness and Empathy

Greatest Weakness: His innate sense to try and see the best in everyone

Soft Spot: Remi always everyday.

Mannerisms: he is a very silent and balanced man, he always stands with great posture, but has a tendency to pick at his nails, and bite on his lip.

Miscellaneous Trivia —

When Levi was a young boy he used to love playing dress up with his older sister Erin before she was taken by CPS. They used to love playing Princesses. Levi always wanted to be Pocahontas while Erin was always Ariel. Typically this was a game they’d play when they would go to the lake or pool. Ariel always wound up giving Pocahontas special mermaid abilities so they could have tea parties together. While Pocahontas often taught Ariel how to be one with the land and nature. To this day, Levi’s favorite princess is Ariel because he thinks of his beloved sister.

Levi came out to his mom when he was 17, and she was less than supportive, telling him things like he wouldn’t ever know what real love felt like. It put a massive strain on their relationship, and before they could mend it, his mother suffered an overdose she never survived from. Leaving Levi to feel hollow and unfinished. Deep within in him, he sometimes wonders if it was his coming out that drove her to do it.

Levi was originally born in Ireland, however, as the shifter crime rate drove higher within the communities, and his mother’s reputation started to proceed her, they had to move to the United States while Eve (his mother) was pregnant with his youngest sibling.

Sneeze Content —

ALLERGIES

Marigold flowers

Dust

spices (such as pepper, wasabi, crushed red pepper, coriander and cumin)

No seasonal allergies.

How severe are they?

When exposed to a stimuli it is almost instant that Levi falls into a fit of sneezing despair.

Do they get sick often?

Not really, having grown up in poverty conditions as well as being completely used to a drastic change in temperature, he isn’t really the one bringing viruses home. However, with his partner being a super magnet for illness, he does find himself getting MUCH sicker, more often, now that they’re together.

How bad is it usually?

When Levi IS sick, he’s actually kind of pissy, he tries to hide it, but if anyone besides Remi tries to 1) give him a hard time or 2) tell him what to do that doesn’t align with what he WANTS to do? Major bitch vibes. He’s leaky, his nose gets super red and chapped because he can NOT stand the feeling of snot or ick on his face or dripping off his face, so he HAS to wipe it. If he has no tissue, which is unlikely as he always carries them around for Remi, he will use a sleeve or any other close by cloth.

Do they stifle?

Nope, Levi doesn’t stifle unless he’s in a particular situation where either he doesn’t want to get Remi riled up, or it’s inappropriate to make a loud sound. Otherwise, our boy is just trying to get it out and over with.

How loud are their sneezes?

Levi has a medium volume sneeze, rather polite in a lot of ways. He will always cover his mouth, unless instructed otherwise by his mate. It doesn’t cause a whole lot of a scene, though it does impress some people with how many will escape his mouth.

What do they sneeze into?

He sneezes into tissues typically but if he can’t get to one in time, into his sleeve or inside his shirt.

How often do they sneeze?

He doesn’t sneeze often unless he’s triggered by an allergen or induced

How many times do they sneeze in a fit?

It depends on what caused him to sneeze, marigolds it’s about 3-4 in a row, but with a pointed tissue? 1-2? Spices/dust? 2-4 depending how strong!

Do they have build-ups or are they sudden?

With dust it’s more of a build up, same with tissue inducing, however with marigolds and spices it’s instant.

Do they sneeze in public?

He does, but tries not to in certain situations because he’s usually with Remi, and if he has things to do he doesn’t have time to find the nearest bathroom to sneeze and suck on Remi’s…you know..😏

Some examples of their sneezes?

—hah’ESHHh‘uh!!

HET’Shhh’eu!

Eh-TSHU!

Hh’Etshu!

T-SHU!

Eh’ehTSHU!

Backstory —

Levi was born in Ireland, along with his sister Erin. However, when his mother fell pregnant with, at the time, his little brother Connor, they moved to the states for better opportunities as the area they grew up in was slowly becoming too violent for them. Levi’s father left before he even knew Evelyn was pregnant with his child, Levi has never met his father, and has never been interested in meeting his father upon finding out he’s an unstable meth addict that knocked his mom up on a trade. They move to the states, but come to find out, the states is the least safe place for shifters. The stress of 3 children and having spent every last dime to her name to move out to the “Land of the Free” to follow the “American Dream” and her own life found to be too much and Evelyn started abusing pain medication after Connor’s birth, which spiraled back to any and every other various drug she could find to cope with the fear of living.

Levi was close to his big sister Erin as a child, she taught him to stand and walk. He would spend every waking moment hanging out with his siblings, until the pressure was getting too much, and Evelyn’s mom, Orla, who had also moved to the states to follow them (more so Levi) took Levi in. Orla had reservations towards the other siblings, there was no real reason she favored Levi more, but she did. Leaving Eve to care for Erin and Connor, however, a few months after Levi was given to his grandma temporarily, Erin and Connor were taken by CPS and placed into the foster system. Evelyn had left them outside the bar she frequented. Upon getting too drunk, and the kids asking for her outside, a lady called CPS. Immediately the kids were taken home to grab their things and were ripped away from Evelyn’s care.

At 13, Erin was adopted to a single man, who worked in the medical field as a professional. However, upon finding out his foster daughters affliction of shapeshifting, he started doing unethical experimentation on her. Causing her to pass away from infection due to complications at age 16. The man was free to walk, as shapeshifters have no human rights in the states. Therefore all shifters in the states, tend to go incognito.

Connor, was adopted at age 3, 6 months after being put into the system. He lived with an older Asian couple that were extremely strict and unnurturing to him. They kept his shifter side a secret, but he had to learn himself how to control it. Connor later comes out at 16 as Connie, a transwoman. His adoptive parents kick her out, and she lands on the streets. She tries to make a living for herself but falls into addiction and meets her best friend Alistar after a terribly devastating loss. He helps her get clean, as well as try to locate her siblings. Levi was returned to his mother at age 14 because his grandmother passed away from heart complications, his mother had started living in buses and RVs. Their first trip after being reunited was to the lake where Levi met Remi. She was trying to show her son how much fun life on the road is. Which he did, he loved life on the road! However, his mother’s addiction and affiliations only seemed to get worse and worse. Their relationship becomes more and more strained as time passes, Evelyn even rejecting to support her son when he came out as gay.

At age 17, Levi loses his mother to a fentanyl overdose and falls into his own perilous addiction to oxycodone. Upon losing his mother, he also loses the RV they were staying in, due to unpaid debt. The teen goes into full survival mode, applies to be a waiter and a dancer at his local club to support himself and his pill habit. In the meantime staying at shelters and couching hopping with some of the more trustful clients he’d meet at the club. Or anyone that did drugs with him. Occasionally he would also stay with coworkers. He does wind up getting hate crimed in a bar at age 21, suffering permanent nerve damage. In the winter time he can’t walk on it very well. Eventually by 22, Levi had saved enough to buy himself a bus, which needed a lot of renovations to become habitable.

At age 23, At age 23, Levi decides to create an Onlyfans account and get clean, which grows by 100 subs within the year. He follows the 12 step program and kicks the habit by 24 becoming Cali sober. Giving him enough money to sustain and slowly fix up his bus, he named Maybelle. Levi fills it with plants, tapestries, stuffies and colorful art pieces once he finishes it by age 25. From there, Levi works to grow his onlyfans, hoping to make enough money to track down his siblings and reunite.

Reference Sheet —

Shift —