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animeniacss · 6 days ago

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Seoksoo - An [im]perfect Christmas Part 2 of 2

Summary: Joshua is now invited to the Lee Christmas weekend, and while Seokmin is happy to spend the holiday with his new boyfriend, that also means his new boyfriend will have to spend the holiday with his family.

Tags: College!AU, ActingMajor!Seokmin, Teacher!Joshua, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Mutual Pining, , Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Joshua is a dork 90% of the time, Established Relationship, Christmas Special, Dysfunctional Family Drama

Length: approx. 8.1k words

Chapter 2 - I'll Be Under the Mistletoe

“Oppa.” A soft whisper came through the bedroom. “Oppa, wake up.”

“Mm…” Seokmin sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he looked over to see a little girl at the side of his bed, bouncing on the balls of her feet so hard it looked like her pigtails were flying every which way. “Kyungie?”

“It’s Christmas, Oppa! Let’s go see if Santa came!”

Seokmin stilled, listening for a second to see if they were the only two awake. One second, two seconds….His eyes turned to his clock, and he saw it was only 7 in the morning. “Oppa, please. I wanna look, I wanna look.”

“It’s early, Kyungie…” he murmured, but the little three-year-old only pouted, wide eyes staring up at him overflowing with Christmas joy. And Seokmin would be lying to say he didn’t think the same in his little seven-year-old mind. He smiled, climbing out of bed and taking her hand. “Let’s go, but you need to be quiet.” He pressed a finger to his lips, and grinned when his little sister mimicked the action. Seokmin squeezed his sisters hand, and they headed out of the room.

Seokmin didn’t hear anything as he walked through the dimly lit hallway, seeing his parents door was still closed. He felt his heart racing as he led his sister down the hall, tiny children’s footsteps padding across the floor. Seokmin knew around the corner, the living room would be piled with Christmas presents under the tree, and it was only a matter of time before-.

“Don’t fucking start this morning.” It was muffled, but Seokmin slowed to a stop the second the swear word hit his hears. But it wasn’t coming from the bedroom, it was coming from the kitchen. Muffled just enough through the few walls between them. Seokmin peeked his head around the corner, just enough to see a man and a woman in their pajamas by the archway of the living room. “How could you possibly not be here for the kids on Christmas? What else is so important?”

“It’s work.”

“It’s always work, isn’t it?” Seokmin turned to face his sister, who looked up at him with wide eyes, still confused as to why they’d stopped walking in the first place. He wonders how long they were at it, if his sister heard them at all on her walk to his bedroom. He stared at her for a minute, squeezing her hand as he tried to find the right words to say.

The right words were always hard to say. Especially on Christmas.

Seokmin didn’t open his eyes until he heard the sound of a door slamming, his breath hitching as he stared at the ceiling. He needed a few seconds to decide if that slam was tucked away in his dreams, but the answer was given far to quickly in the form of a firm:

“Don’t slam the fucking doors, Lee Eunkyung.”

Seokmin shot up in bed, which is how he finally realized that Joshua’s arm was draped comfortably over his middle. The shift must have stirred him, because a sleepy grumble was heard beside him. When he looked over, Joshua was rubbing his eyes, brows furrowed as his ears seemed to be trying to make out whatever sounds were flooding them right now. Seokmin immediately reached down, covering his ears.

“Don’t go in there right now. Let’s go inside.”

“Don’t wake up yet.” His voice was soft, wary, as if he’d be overheard even with the door closed Joshua groaned in response, brows furrowing even more. “Just sleep. It’s early, just sleep.” He whispered, pressing his hands tighter over Joshua’s ears. He didn’t realize they were shaking until one of Joshua’s hands reached up, covering his in its usual warm hold. He looked down at the other as Joshua licked his dry lips before they parted to speak.

“C’mere…” he whispered, tugging Seokmin back down into bed. Seokmin barely had time to react, to adjust himself, to recover Joshua’s ears before the blanket was tugged over them, fully enveloping them. “Mmm…” Joshua shifted on his side, pulling Seokmin tightly into his chest and stroking a hand through his hair. “We can sleep a bit longer.”

“Shua-.”

“Just sleep a bit longer, okay?” He still had the grogginess of sleep in his voice, his fingers working lazily through Seokmin’s hair. He’d yet to open his eyes, and Seokmin was grateful because he could already feel his own sting. Seokmin exhaled, trying to focus his mind on the hand in his hair or the one holding his waist.

One second, two seconds, three seconds… and the house quieted. Minus a few aggravated grumblings in the room beside his, Seokmin realized whatever had happened was ending. He’d woke up at the tail end of it.

Seokmin wasn’t sure how much longer he and Joshua lay there, but it was long enough for him to start smelling a hint of breakfast. He inhaled, tilting his head to look up at Joshua again, whose eyes were fluttering open to meet his gaze. “Mm.. Morning..” he mumbled softly, the back of his hand moving from Seokmin’s waist to rub at his eyes. “And Merry Christmas.”

“Morning..” he replied, unable to hide the smile on his face when Joshua leaned forward to press a morning kiss onto the top of his head. “Sorry if I woke you up before.”

“Nah, its ok…” he said. Sitting up, Joshua groaned, his sleep shirt raising with his arms to expose his belly. “Breakfast smells amazing.” Seokmin nodded, sliding off the side of the bed and stretching his arms over his head as well, a groan of relief coming as he felt the tight muscles in his back pull just a bit. He slid under his bed and pulled out a little red and white striped bag with white sparkly tissue paper inside. He saw Joshua blink the morning crust out of his eyes. “Is that for me?” he smirked. When he reached out for it, Seokmin held it close to his chest.

“No.” he said. “This is for my sister.” he said. “I always give her something before we actually open presents. But I keep it in here so she doesn’t sneak a peek.” Joshua’s lips curled into an amused smile and the duo headed out of the room and down the hall.

“Mom, can I open my stocking at least?” He heard Eunkyung ask. When he turned the corner, he saw his mother setting plates at the table while his aunt sipped coffee on the couch.

“It can wait until Yunah gets here. Just get ready to eat.” Her voice was firm, but gentle as she retreated back into the kitchen to grab the food. Seokmin took this time to hurry over to the couch, plopping down in front of his sister and holding out the bag. Her eyes widened, grinning as she took the bag.

“Thanks.” she whispered. Seokmin smiled a bit, crossing his legs under him while Eunkyung tugged the white paper out of the bag. He saw Joshua cross the living room, heading into the kitchen.

“Let me help you.” he said quickly, reaching out and taking one of the plates from Mrs. Lee. Seokmin watched his mother smile as the duo finished setting the table, hearing her mutter something about her ungrateful kids that Joshua seemed to easily laugh off. But his mother’s playful jabs were interrupted by a gasp, turning Seokmin’s attention to his sister as she pulled out a little make-up bag with pink ruffled accents, filled with a restock on her current make-up obsessions. The front was decorated in little buttons of her favorite things as well.

“Oppa, how cute.” she gasped, grinning up at him. “I needed a new make-up bag.” Seokmin leaned back on his palm as he watched her open it up, pulling a few of the objects out. “And you remembered the lipgloss I like!”

He shrugged. “It’s a good gloss.” He said. “Nayeon-noona uses the same brand so she helped me.” Eunkyung smiled, reaching forward and hugging him tightly.

“Mmmm, you’re the best. I��ll give your gift after breakfast.” Seokmin nodded, before his mother called the group over again.

“If Joshua is the only one here he’s the only one who eats!” She huffed, grinning when she saw Joshua proudly hold up his two chopsticks and puff out his chest.

“I can do that!” He said, nodding his head.

—----------------------

Eunkyung became even more incessant for gifts when Yunah and her family arrived and the tree became even more packed with presents, so the group hustled around the tree. Seokmin plopped on the floor between Joshua’s legs, who had been seated on the couch with the baby in his hands since they arrived. Baby Areum immediately attached to him, which seemed to surprise nobody. He watched as Eunkyung and Minho worked to pass out the gifts, all of them collecting in piles by their respective recipients. Seokmin helped with a few, collecting Joshua’s in a pile by his side on the couch.

“If these fall on me and Aerum, you’re gonna be on the naugty list next year.” Joshua grinned as Seokmin turned around.

“Well then I will happily keep your presents by me and open them myself.” he grinned as Joshua’s eyes widened.

“Wait, woah-.”

“Joshua, here’s another.” Minho called, passing the little green box to Seokmin and adding to his pile. Joshua’s eyes scanned the handful of gifts.

“This is all way to much stuff, are you sure some of this is mine?”

“Of course.” Seokmin’s aunt said. “How could we invite you to Christmas and not give you gifts?” Seokmin watched Joshua look at him, still stunned. He only smiled. Once the presents were all given out, and Joshua passed the baby back to her mother, the entire family worked to open their gifts up. The rustle of wrapping paper and soft chatter as everyone worked to open their gifts filled the living room. Seokmin watched as sweaters were held up for everyone to ogle at, gift baskets were unwrapped and disassembled, the candy strewn about and snacked on idly as everyone opened gifts. Eunkyung showed every piece of make-up she got, every CD, squealing as she immediately forwent the gift wrapping to unwrap the debut album of her newest idol obsession, BoyNextDoor,

Minho and Eunkyung were tasked with cleaning up the Seokmin turned to watch as Joshua picked up the silver wrapped present he had brought. “Oh, that’s from me.” he smiled.

“I told you that you did not need to get me anything.” Despite his stern voice, Joshua was already opening the corner of the package. “You already got me something.”

“That was a birthday gift.” Seokmin corrected once again. He leaned forward, watching as Joshua pulled open the little clear box. He flipped it open to see a collection of beads. Various shapes, sizes, colors and designed stared back at him. Joshua looked at Seokmin, immediately grinning. “It’s not predictable is it? I know you said you wanted to stock up-.”

“No, no it’s so good.” he said. “I did want to stock up and make some more.” He flipped the container over to get a better view at some of them. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen beads this shape before.” He pointed to one, holding it closer for Seokmin to see. “Thank you.” Seokmin chuckled, feeling his cheeks tint pink.

“Oh, there’s one more.” He reached to Joshua’s side, passing over a little silver bag with tissue paper inside. Joshua seemed playfully annoyed, but took the bag and pulled it open. For some reason, watching Joshua’s hand reach into the bag made his heart rate increase a bit. His eyes watched, trained as Joshua pulled out a little box. His eyes shot to Seokmin, and he smirked.

“A proposal already?” he asked. Seokmin felt his cheeks go from warm to burning in a matter of seconds, covering them as Joshua’s shoulders shook in laughter. His sister laughed behind him, earning her an annoyed glare.

“You never struck me as one to move that fast.” His mother gasped.

“No, that’s-.”

“Much less be the one to propose!” Yunah grinned. Seokmin groaned, covering his face. He continued hearing Joshua giggle, before the click open of the box made him look up again, though reluctantly between a few fingers. He saw Joshua’s features soften as he pulled out two bracelets, dangling them between his fingers. They were both plastic beaded bracelets, mainly black but with respective blue and yellow accents. In the middle of each was their initials. The rustling of wrapping paper and quiet murmurs went muffled in Seokmin’s head as he watched Joshua set the two bracelets on top of the set of beads.

“Did you make these?” he asked curiously. Seokmin nodded, feeling the soft fondness in Joshua’s voice vibrate deep within his bones.

“I uhm… yeah.” Embarrassment seemed to hit him full force now, feeling his throat close up. Why was he suddenly so nervous? It’s not like Joshua was going to denounce his gifts in front of everyone. Right? “They’re… obviously I’ve never made them before, but they’re matching so one is for me, and one is for you. If you want to wear it, you know?”

As Seokmin rambled he watched Joshua’s smile only grow. “They’re really cute. I can’t believe you went through all the trouble to buy everything just to make these for us.” he lifted up his and Seokmin watched him slip it past his fingers, across his palm, stretching around his wrist and-.

Snap.

Seokmin felt something thunk him in the head. Though not as hard as the snowball from outside, he immediately flet a throbbing in his skull that he covered with his hand. A few scattered clinks were heard around him, and a gasp in surprise. “Ow.” Seokmin pouted, rubbing the mark on his head. Seokmin open his eyes, and his vision locked on Joshua sitting there with wide eyes and a piece of string that was suddenly a few beads lighter. Seokmin looked around him, watching as black and blue beads scattered and rolled around him.

“Wh- oh no.” he gasped, immediately reaching forward to grab the few he could salvage.

“Oh shi- of course. Eunkyung, get the broom.” The sound of his mother’s annoyed voice, clearly unhappy with more of a mess being made on top of the unwrapped presents, immediately made Seokmin’s cheeks feel hot again. But not in the fun way that he could brush off, no. He felt his throat tighten and his eyes lock on any beads he could grab into his hands. It felt like a game of jacks that he just woke up in the middle of, and had no equipment to properly play, much less win. He managed to grab as many as he could, before looking up at Joshua.

“I thought I tied it all together properly. I’m sorry.” He said quickly. Joshua only smiled, turning his head to the kitchen.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a ziploc bag, would you?” he asked. Eunkyung returned a minute later, passing a baggie over to Joshua. He simply slid off the couch, opening the bag and collecting all of the beads he could. Seokmin watched him, before he offered the bag to Seokmin to put the rest of the beads inside. “We can restring it when we get home, okay? It’s no big deal.” his voice was as soft as always, yet Seokmin still felt like he was a child being scolded for making a mess. He felt a hand on his arm, and looked up. Joshua leaned forward. “I said it’s not a big deal.” his voice was gentle, comforting, like it alone could soothe that tiny dull thudding on his forehead where the beads bounced off.

“I-.” a sigh escaped his lips. “I know. Sorry.” Joshua smiled, before leaning forward and grabbing a present from Seokmin’s pile. He sank himself down onto the floor, putting the duo knee to knee as he passed the red wrapping paper over to him.

“For you.” Joshua said. Seokmin huffed, taking the present. Should he even get this, if his gift that was supposed to be so simple broke? Does that even count anymore? Seokmin could hear the rest of his family already starting to resume their cleaning up, the last few beads being swept up and handed over to Joshua with a gentle ‘thank you’. And Seokmin just kept staring at the wrapping paper. His fingers traced the edge, turning to Joshua. The other immediately caught his gaze, and grinned. “Open the card last.”

“I thought it was the other way around.” Seokmin said, unable to resist his boyfriend’s gentle tone. He tore open the paper to reveal a little cardboard box. “The cardboard box isn’t the present.” he whispered, and Seokmin rolled his eyes.

“Thank you.” he couldn’t help but smile when Joshua looked in amusement. Opening that put a stunning leather binder in his lap; slightly larger than a greeting card. Seokmin ran his hand along the cover, where the words ‘Next Stop: Broadway�� were handstitched in English. Seokmin felt his breath hitch, gently opening the binder to see it filled with clear sheets locked in place by three metal rings in the middle. One last time, he turned to Joshua for confirmation, who simply shrugged.

“I wasn’t sure if you had one already, but I figured if you did, you’d eventually need to get another, so.” Joshua seemed to watched as he flipped through the pages. They were currently empty, but Seokmin could already see the playbills he’s acquired over the years that were sitting in his desk drawer, turning the translucent pages into colorful, detailed works of art on every page.

“I love it.” he said quickly. “I’ll put all of my favorite plays in this one.” Joshua smiled, nudging his shoulder. Seokmin could read the shyness in his eyes trying to work its way into pride. Pride for getting Seokmin such a thoughtful gift. It made something in Seokmin’s chest thud a bit to quickly, but it was evened out when Joshua said: “Oh. The card!” he pointed to the white envelope resting on Seokmin’s lap. “Open it.” So, Seokmin did.

Inside was a Christmas card, standard in everything from the wording to the design. Seokmin chuckled, flipping it open as two pieces of paper fell into his lap. He cocked an eyebrow, picking them up to see the words The Cursed Child written in bold black letters, both English and Korean. He looked over at Joshua, eyes instantly wide. “No way.”

Joshua grinned almost instantly. “Seungkwan told me how badly you wanted to see it, so-.”

“These seats must have been expensive! Are they front row?!” he gasped. “Plus the binder? Shua-hyung…” Joshua didn’t argue, he simply scooted next to Seokmin and took the tickets in his hand, pointing to the date. A week after Christmas, right around New Years Eve. “Figured we can make a whole day of it… you know?” Seokmin nodded, leaning against him to admire the tickets once again.

“...Oh…” Seokmin pouted. “Now my gift seems so lame.” he looked at the container of beads on the floor.

“What? No.” Joshua gasped. They were the only two in the living room now, the rest of the family cleaning and then spreading around between the living room, or in Eunkyung’s case, her bedroom to organize all of her new goodies. “I love your gifts.”

“But.-” Joshua leaned forward, kissing Seokmin’s forehead.

“But nothing. You got me things I like and want to use.” He intertwined their fingers. “I get to spend Christmas with you when I didn’t even think I’d spend a day of the break with you…” he smiled. “I’m really happy.” Seokmin smiled, despite still feeling that pit of guilt in his gut. Of course he’d say that, he wouldn’t want ot make Seokmin feel bad on purpose. Joshua isn’t like that.

I could have given him more…

“Come on.” Joshua got up, collecting his stuff in the one large bag me put it in. “Let’s go into your room and you can organize your playbills.” He walked off, Seokmin trailing along, his arms feeling extra heavy with the guilt now weighing on his shoulders.

—--------------------------

Joshua and Seokmin had spent some time in the bedroom - with the door cracked open, Seokmin refused to forget that again - after putting some of the stuff they’d gotten in the car to make packing the day they leave just a bit easier. The family, for the most part, had come back together in the living room, watching as Aerum was staring wide-eyed at the light-up toy Seokmin’s mother had bought for her, reaching for it with her chubby little hands while in her father’s lap. Joshua, Seokmin and Eunkyung sat around as well, giggling and playing with the baby. She was the cutest guest invited, after all, it was basically common knowledge that she’d be the one getting the most attention today. Seokmin rested his head on Joshua’s shoulder, watching as Joshua took one of the new soft balls and rolling it towards the baby, watching as her eyes immediately locked on the ball and then to him.

“She really does like you.” Minho said. Joshua’s laugh was shy and almost nervous, Seokmin’s eyes flickering to the way his cheeks turned pink.

“Do you want kids, Joshua?”

“Mom!” Seokmin’s head shot up, eyebrows raised as he stared at his mother, who was sitting in her chair seemingly unphased by her question. “I- Wh- what kind of que - Mom!”

Joshua grinned. “I dunno. Maybe.” he said, shrugging. “I was always told I’d be a good dad, but for now I like spoiling kids that aren’t mine.” When Aerum leaned forward, her hands landing on the floor towards Joshua, he reached out and scooped her up. “Yes, like you, Aerum. Just like you.” Seokmin sighed, pouting as he watched the baby squeal and giggle in Joshua’s arms. For a moment he wonderd what Joshua would be like as a father, but they’ve barely been dating a full calendar week! When does talking about things like that become normal? Expected? Certainly not the first Wednesday you’re dating someone…

After all, what if you have all those deep, personal talks and things don’t last in the end? What then? Do those conversations just lay dormant in your subconscious until another person comes along that might take it and run with it? How do those conversations even start…who in the relationship starts them? The idea made Seokmin nauseous, and he swallowed hard in hopes the feeling would bubble away under all the breakfast he’d eaten. Or something. He needed a distraction from -.

The sound of the house phone ringing alerted the family towards the kitchen, Mrs. Lee getting up and walking over. Seokmin needed only a second to see his mother scowl, before her eyes tilted over and she said: “Guys c’mere.”

Well, this was certainly going to be a distraction.

Seokmin and Joshua watched Eunkyung spring up, heading over to the phone almost immediately. He pulled his head back from Joshua’s shoulder, steadying himself up on his feet and running a hand through his hair.

“I’ll be right back.” He said to Joshua, who cocked an eyebrow.

“Everything okay?” his voice was concerned, as it always was when Seokmin seemed wary. But he only nodded, offering a small smile as reassurance - or what he hoped would come across as reassurance.

“Yeah. Just a family call, no biggie.” he said. “They just drag a little.” Joshua seemed to understand that much, trying to match his smile as Seokmin met his sister and mother in the kitchen. He watched as Eunkyung was already on the phone, chatting away with a beaming smile on her face. Seokmin waited beside his mother, arms crossed over his chest. His sister seemed focused on the conversation at hand, but Seokmin’s attention was elsewhere. He watched as his mother began organzing the dishes, tugging on her gloves and putting soap on the sponge. It was clear she didn’t want to make it clear she intended to listen in, but the timing was to obvious. Seokmin could see her eyebrows wrinkled in frustration, but she was scrubbing dry egg of one of the plates. Maybe that was why.

“Here’s Seokmin.” Eunkyung said, passing the phone over. She was still smiling, her eyes hopeful that in a matter of minutes, Seokmin would feel the same type of joy that she was feeling in that moment. Christmas joy, perhaps? Regardless, as Seokmin took the phone, he didn’t feel that whatsoever. He felt dread. Anxiety nesteled deep in his stomach threatening to boil over the second he opened his mouth. But he was the one who wanted a distraction…. Taking a deep breath, Seokmin finally muttered a polite:

“Hi, Dad…”

—-------------------

“No, school’s been fine.”

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Yes, I’m still doing plays.”

“Merry Christmas. Love you.”

Seokmin woke up mumbling in his sleep, Joshua’s arm tossed over Seokmin’s middle as his face almost fully buried in his pillow. Reaching out, he ruffle the tuft of hair he could see while his heart rate slowed a bit. The touch seemed to spark Joshua to stir, but Seokmin leaned down again, laying on his side.

“It’s only 8.” he said. “You don’t have to get up yet.” Joshua hummed, but seemingly didn’t complain, his eyes barely cracking open and offering Seokmin a smile before he was drifting back off to dreamland. Seokmin chuckled, brushing some hair off Joshua’s face, away from his eyes even though they were closed. He could feel himself fighting the urge to sleep in a bit longer, to fight the chilly cold of December under his nice comforter wrapped in Joshua’s arms, and-.

“Oppa!”

The knock made Seokmin sit up, cheeks flush and breath hitched. Even though only the foot of his bed was visible through the open door, he felt as if he were caught doing something he shouldn’t be. Seokmin swung his legs over the side just as Eunkyung poked her head in. He didn’t miss the mischievous little smirk that formed on her lips before she said: “We need to go buy a cake.”

“What?”

“Mom said the bakery down the street has good after Christmas sales on cakes, so we should get one today for Joshua’s birthday.”

“He…” Seokmin turned to the sleeping figure in the bed, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him. “He said we didn’t have to celeb-.”

“Mom said we’re going to. What, don’t want to celebrate your boyfriend’s birthday with your family?”

“Wh- no. That’s not it….” Seokmin sighed. Eunkyung motioned to the door, and Seokmin sighed.

“Then let’s go and get back. It’s cold. We’ll be back before he wakes up.”

A sigh of defeat; Seokmin knew if Eunkyung was on board with it, he’d never win again both her and his mother. “Alright let me get dressed.”

Seokmin couldn’t help but wonder if Joshua would be upset with him for getting a cake for his birthday despite saying he didn’t expect them to celebrate it early. But as he tugged on a sweatshirt, took one more look at a sleeping Joshua, and slipped out of the room to meet his sister. He could hear the shower running, most likely his mother getting ready for the day. “Let’s make it quick.” Seokmin slipped on his jacket, and the duo stepped out of the house.

The snow from the past few days had stopped falling, but there was a nice crunch under their feet as the siblings began walking down the street. The bakery they were going to is one where they got a majority of their celebratory cakes over the years; from exam celebrations to holidays to birthdays. It was something the family always looked forward too, and now they were extending that tradition to Joshua already. That settled something deep into Seokmin’s chest, something that suddenly made the cold feel a bit more bearable.

“So…” Eunkyung began, and Seokmin looked over. The long, pregnant pause between Eunkyung opening her mouth and finishing her question was enough to freeze that warm feeling up once again. Oh lord, he knew what was coming. He could see it in her eyes, sizing him up for a sibling debrief about…

“How’s things with Joshua-Oppa?”

Seokmin might have recoiled a bit, blinking several times. “...What?”

“How are things?” she repeated. “You two are dating after all, and this is the first time you and I have really talked about it since you told us.” she stepped closer to him, putting her arm around his arm as they strolled, looking up at him. “He’s nice.”

“Very.” Seokmin said, smiling a bit.

Eunkyung nodded. “Has he had a good time?” she asked. “I know things are kinda…” she trailed off, but Seokmin could easily put those pieces together.

“Yeah.” he assured. “He likes everyone.”

“Even me?” Eunkyung batted her eyes. Seokmin’s mouth fell open a bit, pursing his lips together. When Eunkyung gasped, Seokmin laughed. “Oppa!”

“He does, he does!” Seokmin assured, waving his hand as Eunkyung hit his arm. “He likes everyone. I’m happy he came.”

Eunkyung nodded. “Well, he is part of the family now.” Her words hung in the thick, winter air. Part of the family. Something about the way she said it held a bitterness in it, but he couldn’t tell if it would be towards Joshua, and if it was…why. But he shook it off as the duo continued walking down the street. The duo felt silence over take them then. Did she want him to say something in response to that? Seokmin wouldn’t even know where to start.

“Do you…guys like him?” Seokmin finally asked, his voice small as his eyes studied the next steps his feet would take in the snow. He visualized each step before it happened.

“Yeah.” Eunkyung sounded genuine, and Seokmin sighed. “Like I said, he’s nice. And the way he didn’t put up with Mom’s shit at dinner the other day? Incredible.”

“I don’t think he ‘wasn’t putting up with her shit’.”

“No, she was so obviously trying to like cause a problem.” Eunkyung sighed. “She’s bitter or something. I dunno.”

“I doubt that.” Seokmin said. “I’m sure she’ll do the same when you start bringing guys around.”

“Psh, you think I’m gonna subject someone I actually like to that woman?” she asked, her eyes locking on him. Seokmin blinked, feeling her grip on his arm tighten. “I couldn’t possibly hate someone that much.”

When Seokmin fell quiet, Eunkyung immediately back tracked. “N-not that…I didn’t mean you guys, just for me. You know that.” She shrugged. “It’s different with you….”

“Is it?”

“Very. It’ll be a cold day in hell before she let’s my boyfriend of a week come for Christmas.”

“I…doubt that, too.” Seokmin’s hesitancy was obvious, and Eunkyung rolled her eyes. She dropped that conversation in the snow to be crunched under he heel as they kept moving. Seokmin looked ahead. The bakery was just another block and a half, then to the right. They’d be just opening by the time the duo arrived, meaning they’d most likely be the first customers of the day. “Anyway–. Did you like your gift?”

“Oh, yeah.” Eunkyung smiled sweetly, attention diverted for at least half a block as she talked about how she ended up organizing her new make-up and her plans to switch out her bags and reorganize them during the rest of the break. Seokmin smiled, nodding along with her as she spoke. “I should do you and Joshua-Oppa’s make-up before you go.” she grinned. “I can do a fierce cat eye now.”

“Well, first off no you can’t.” Seokmin said, reaching out and plucking an eyelash from his sister’s eye. She pouted, but when he offered her the lash, she quickly blew it into the winter wonderland around them. “Did you wish for better eyeliner skills?”

“Damn, you’re mean.” Eunkyung huffed. “Does your boyfriend know you’re this mean?”

“Wha- I’m not mean.” Seokmin chuckled. Eunkyung seemed playfully unconvinced. “Kyungie!” He gasped, eyes widening. As the duo stopped at the stop light, Seokmin put his free hand in his pocket, tilting his head. “Speaking of boyfriends…” he looked at her. “Are you seeing anyone? Last I heard was that guy in your English course.”

Eunkyung shook her head. “He was a douche. I ended it. I think he just wanted me for sex.”

“Ew.”

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “We only did it once, but he kept texting me late at night to meet and-.”

“What?!” Seokmin had completely stopped walking, tugging Eunkyung back with him, much to her surprise. “Eunkyung.”

“What?” she chuckled. “You’re shocked? Oppa, I told you all about it…didn’t I?”

“Wh-I.” he shook his head. “NO! I think I’d remember my little sister telling me something like that! Does mom know?”

“Seokmin, unlike you, I don’t tell Mom everything. Besides, I’m almost 19, I can do whatever I want.” she said. “I’m not seeing the guy anymore.”

‘But-.”

Eunkyung began pulling Seokmin down the street again, her hold tight on his arm. “What, are you telling me you’re not sleeping with Joshua-Oppa?”

Seokmin felt his heart almost burst out of his chest. If he threw up in the snow would it be covered up and hide the evidence? He shook his head. “Wh- no. No, Kyungie, we’ve only been dating barely a week. We…” he suddenly felt nervous. “We aren’t there yet.”

“Oh.” Eunkyung hummed. “That’s okay, I guess.”

You guess?

Seokmin felt himself walking across a stage for an award he should be receiving yet had not yet finished the credentials to earn. Eyes that weren’t there stared at him as he crossed, watching to see what he would do when he realized there was nothing waiting for him at the other end. Not yet, anyway. Seokmin’s brows furrowed together, shaking his head.

“I…don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He said. Eunkyung nodded.

“Okay.” she said. A beat, and she said. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad or anything, but-.”

“Kyungie.” He stressed, not looking at her. Eunkyung nodded. “Just…” he rubbed his temple with his free hand. “Drop it.”

“Okay.” she said softly. “Just don’t go and tell Mom, will you? I don’t need another thing to hear her lecture me on, I already know everything.”

“Sure.” Seokmin said.

It seemed Eunkyung was content with switching from one intense topic to another in a matter of minutes, not feeling the same weight on her shoulders as he now did. “I’m only saying that because this morning before I woke you up she asked me about the phone call with Dad, and-.”

“She was there what could she have possibly asked?” Seokmin asked, already clocking his exasperated tone. Why wasn’t he in bed with Joshua again right now?

“Yeah, exactly, that’s what I was saying to her! Why she was eavesdropping on our conversation?!”

Fuck. He fell into her trap.

Seokmin listened as Eunkyung continued rambling, though he never once caught her gaze. “She throws this whole fit about not having him and grandma and grandpa over for Christmas, then lingers like a lost puppy when it’s our time to talk to him! Either invite him over or leave us the fuck alone! She’s so selfish!”

“I don’t think it’s that deep.” Seokmin shook his head. “She was washing the dishes.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Eunkyung’s annoyance was growing and Seokmi ncould feel his pace picking up to the bakery. It was so close yet so far; Seokmin felt like he was walking on a treadmill, getting the steps but not to destination. “She was obviously eavesdropping. And when I called her out because that’s a fucked up thing to do she totally ignored me! Told me that she can do whatever she wants because it’s her house. You know, like always.”

“I think you’re overthinking it.” Seokmin said. Eunkyung huffed.

“Taking her side yet again, hm?” she asked. “Just drop it, then.”

Seokmin did drop it. He dropped it because of the familiar yet still nauseating whiplash that came with having any conversation with his sister. He dropped it because for the rest of the walk to and from the bakery, he wondered what he could have possibly said differently to avoid at least three of the four conversations they had on what was supposed to be only a 15 minute walk.

He dropped it because by the time Seokmin and Eunkyung got home, Joshua was already up, sipping coffee on the couch with Mrs. Lee, and the last thing Seokmin wanted to do was worry Joshua on what now because an early birthday celebration.

Despite his conversation with his sister lingering in the back of his mind, and Joshua’s insistence that celebrating his birthday was unnecessary and that being there was enough, the rest of the day went off without a hitch. Seokmin watched his mother and sister sing off tune to him over an ice cream cake with his Korean name hastily scribbled onto it. Seokmin snapped a picture of him, and his mother insisted snapping a photo of the both of them when she saw Seokmin try and fail to get a good selfie angle while Joshua laughed against his shoulder. And with that, the duo went to bed early, and the Lee household fell quiet for their last night of the holidays.

—--------------------

Breakfast wasn’t very awkward, but that was because Eunkyung was asleep until the duo got all of their stuff in the car and Seokmin - against his mother’s insistence to do it herself- went to wake his little sister up. The family exchanged hugs and goodbyes, Seokmin promising his mother he would call as soon as they got back to Seoul.

“It was so nice to meet you, Oppa.” Eunkyung gripped Joshua’s hands. “I’m so happy you could come.” Seokmin saw Joshua’s eyes flicker up to him as he pulled from the hug with his mother, but only momentarily before turning his attention back.

“I’m happy I got to meet everyone.” He said. “Let me know if you need help with your English, okay?” Eunkyung grinned, nodding her head eagerly.

A few more pleasantries, another promise to his mother that he would call when they got home, and the couple were piled into the car and finally pulling out of the parking lot. Seokmin waved out the window until Joshua turned the corner, his back finally slumping against the backseat and closing his eyes.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, love, I like them.” Seokmin lolled his head over to watched as Joshua drove.

“I wasn’t worried about that.” Seokmin admitted. “I’m sure they liked you too.”

“They’ve definitely got some…interesting family dynamics.” he added. “But all families do.” Seokmin nodded, looking out the window. When he felt Joshua reach out and find his hand, he easily slipped it over so their fingers could intertwine. “Sorry. Is that not what you wanted to hear?”

“No, it is.” he said. “I’m just sorry you heard so much fighting. It’s so embarassing.”

“It wasn’t as bad as you think.” he assured.

“The fact that it happened at all-.”

“Based on what you’ve told me, I figured it would happen. It seemed there was some tension that was going to come out no matter what. You know? That’s not your fault, or anything to be embarrassed about.” Seokmin nodded again. “You…want to talk about any of it?”

Unlike you, I don’t have to tell Mom everything.

The way he wasn’t putting up with Mom’s shit? She’s bitter or something.

Seokmin nodded, though he seemed to already answer that with a big mental no. “I don’t want to burden you with my family drama anymore than I already have.” His hand was tugged, and he felt a gentle kiss on his knuckles that pulled a small smile to his lips.

“I don’t consider it a burden. It’s kind of my job as your boyfriend to help you when you’re having a hard time.” He clicked his tongue. “I read the manual.”

“There’s a manual?” Seokmin’s grin widened and Joshua chuckled.

“Yep and that part is written in bold right in the beginning. So I think it’s pretty important.”

Seokmin was silent for a minute, turning his attention to the passing houses still glittering with Christmas decorations that became a blur the faster Joshua drove through the streets. They’d already been gone for about ten minutes; how many of those were consumed with arguments that the duo had been holding back for Seokmin’s sake? Were they even trying to hold anything back, given what he’d heard for the past few days? Is it simply amplified now that nobody else was there as a buffer? What will their first conversations be the next time Seokmin reaches out to check on his family?

“I do.” he said, cutting through the silence. “Want to talk about it. Maybe. But not right now.” He watched Joshua nod, his eyes reading as soft and understanding even as he drove.

“Ah, the hardest chapter there is.” he said. Seokmin tilted his head as Joshua’s eyes flickered to him. “Patience.”

“Hyung, you’re so ridiculous.” Seokmin bit behind an amused laugh, turning back to the window as houses turned more into city streets lined with Christmas decor and dimmed windows. He felt his chest relax a bit, humming as he rested his cheek against his hand hand as the world passed by. A world that, for now in the confines of the car, was just out of Seokmin’s reach.

—--------------------

Just before leaving town Joshua decided to stop for some snacks for the road, both knowing they’d be hungry halfway through the ride. Seokmin watched through the window as his boyfriend - it still doesn’t feel real to say that yet - moved through the aisles of a convenient store a few blocks from his house, smiling a bit at the brown tuft of hair that was scurrying through the aisles. Once, he poked his head towards the window and held up two bags of chips. Seokmin tried to point, but the distance and multiple layers of glass mad it to difficult, so when Joshua simply shrugged and brought both to the counter, Seokmin laughed fondly.

Joshua came back out with two bags, passing them over to Seokmin and settling back in the car. “I cannot believe you bought both chips.” Seokmin said, opening the bag and peering inside. He went to open one of the bags, before Joshua reached out and took his hand gently.

“Don’t open them yet.” Joshua shifted in his seat, motioning to hs palm. “Hold out your hand, Seokmin.” Seokmin blinked, confused as he watched Joshua mirror the hand motion himself. “Come on.” He couldn’t help but smile as he did so, hand outstretched and palm open flat. Joshua reached out, pressing something into his hand. Seokmin watched him pull away to show a red heart, about the size of his palm. He blinked, fingers curling around it as the little heart squished in his hand. When he relaxed his fingers, he watched the heart puff back up to its original size.

“A stress ball?” he raised an eyebrow, but Joshua nodded.

“Mhm.” he said. “Saw it when I was at the register. It can help if you’re feeling stressed, but don’t want to talk about it yet.” Seokmin’s eyes flickered down to the object again.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to-.”

“I wanted to.” he said gently. Seokmin nodded, squeezing the heart one more time as Joshua closed the door. As the engine roared ot life and the heat blasted on again, Seokmin watched Joshua pull from the driveway of the convenient store and down the street. Seokmin had been born and raised in this town. Joshua had not. So, when Seokmin noticed it had been five minutes to long and no highway in sight, he turned to the driver.

“Ah, hyung.” he said, trying not to let the waver in his voice show. “The highway is-.”

“Still gonna be there later.” Joshua said. “I know.”

Seokmin watched as Joshua drove a few more blocks, making a left past the snow covered playground and closed arcade. His brain didn’t register what was happening until the car pulled into a little driveway with only four spots and an old fashion small building in the lot. His eyes flicked up to the ramen sign and the name Kim’s Family Dish. “Ah.”

“Sorry, I know it’s a bit out of the way of where we need to go. But you said it was the best ramen place in town, and we never got to go.” Joshua looked at him. “I remember how badly we wanted to eat it together.”

“Yeah, we did.”

“And as much as I can’t wait to come back next time-.” Joshua grinned. “I thought it’d be a good way to end the trip. Yeah?”

Seokmin nodded, looking at the bag of chips on the passenger’s seat floor, forgotten just as soon as they were purchased. Seokmin smiled, nodding his head.

“Okay.” he said as Joshua unlocked the car. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Let’s go to my room.” he whispered, covering his sisters ears.

“But, presents…”

“I have a present in my room.” still holding her ears, Seokmin led his little sister back to his room, closing the door behind him with his foot. The other room had quieted, but for how long, the seven-year-old had no idea. He walked over to his bed, settling Eunkyung to the floor as he reached underneath, pulling out a red bag and pushing it to his sister. “It’s for you.” Eunkyung looked up at him, confusion in her eyes. But Seokmin smiled. “Go on, open it.” He encouraged, watching as she reaching into the bag and pulled out a coloring book and a huge pack of smelly markers. Seokmin was only able to get one thing with his allowance money on his own, so of course, he had to buy for his sister.

“Aah Barbie!” She squealed, holding up the book. Setting the book down, Seokmin watched her flip it open, looking at each page as she fumbled for the red marker. Seokmin crossed his legs, leaning forward and watching as he began scribbling in the Barbie’s lips. For a few minutes, as the picture on the page came to life under colorful markers, the siblings sat in peace, and Seokmin felt his heart finally start to slow down.

“You’re out of your fucking mind, Yeonghui!”

“Me?! You’re the one actively walking out on Christmas morning!”

Seokmin leaned forward, pressing his hands as tightly as he could against his sister’s ears without hurting her, his eyes looking down at the picture as his sister continued to color, too engrossed in giving the Barbie both pink and purple eyeshadow to know what was going on beyond the bedroom door. Seokmin tried to focus on it as well, resting his forehead on top of his sister’s head. Footsteps stormed through the house, screaming increasing on both sides before a loud slam of the front door made the house shake, and Seokmin held his sister tighter. As if the entire building would finally collapse in on itself. It sounded good in theory, a larger problem that would take precedence over all else. But Seokmin already knew that he and his sister would be sitting under the metaphorical rubble for who knows how long while the two people expected to search for them argued over who caused the house to fall in the first place.

“Don’t slam the fucking doors!” Was heard, followed by a string of curse words. Seokmin listened as footsteps stomped through the front of the house, and he finally allowed his breath to slow, his heart to calm as the house fell quiet. He wasn’t sure how long he and Eunkyung stayed there before the door to his bedroom opened, but when Seokmin looked up, his mother’s cheeks were slightly red and her hair was falling out of the claw clip she’d put it up in. A gentle smile formed on her face as Seokmin finally pulled away from his sister, and she looked up.

“Let’s go open presents, guys,” she said. Eunkyung practically catapulted up from her spot, rushing into her mother’s arms as she was scooped up. Seokmin watched his mother offer out her hand as he got up, and he turned back to collect Eunkyung’s Barbie book and markers. “Oh, Seokmin, honey. You gave her the gift? You could have waited…I’m sorry, baby…”

Seokmin saw the look in his mother's eyes as he approached. Soft and fond, yet brimming with apologetic tears. Seokmin simply took her hand and nodded.

“It’s ok.” He assured. His mother nodded, kissing his hand gently as she led him down the hall to open the rest of the gifts, the reverb of the door slamming easily drowned out by the giddy squeals of the children.

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