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tomatograter · 4 years ago

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New to the fandom, Could you explain June? 💯 Love and support her. But homestuck 2 doesn't have her and I'm just confused?

June Egbert precedes the concept of homestuck^2! I’ve seen a lot of people be confused about this because they weren’t active on the fandom at the time the epilogues dropped, when reading her as a trans woman got a lot of discussion going and eventually lead to multiple confirmations.

So here’s an attempt at contextualization:

Throughout Homestuck, a few key ideas about Egbert’s identity and motivation to push forward with her hero’s journey are dropped like breadcrumbs. She’s meant to play the default straight-man protagonist. Her defining traits are ridiculously… generic, when compared to how all the other kids present themselves and stick to exaggerated bits. She’s a perfectly normal, regular suburban kid with normal, suburban issues.

She may not leave her room a whole lot. She may not have a lot of real life friends in the neighborhood. She holds a comical irritation for the concept of birthdays, even though her father is extremely supportive, and is delighted to see his son grow up nice and healthy. There’s no reason for her to be so irrationally upset at cakes and gifts, and that’s what makes the setup funny! June doesn’t even know why she’s annoyed with half of the things that annoy her, what the heck.

But under all that playing around there is a sense that her life is so normal, so blasé, so unexciting and limiting and hollow and fake that she’d give anything to not be herself, even if only for ten minutes. This goes way, way back. It’s why June needs SBURB to happen.

June lives as though her life hasn’t started yet. She’s stuck in the Tutorial stage. I would argue while most kids (and trolls) play SBURB to escape a shitty environment or the end of the world as they know it, June plays for a simpler reason: She needs to escape herself, and she needs to do it before it is too late.

Being thirteen means crossing the homeric abyss between being a child with no care for the world sporting a generic hand-me-down identity and becoming a Teen (capital T) who needs to figure out how to cope with atrocious bodily changes while building the adult they’re meant to be AND deciding what the fuck they want out of life, and how they’re going to work to get it, forever and ever.

When you’re trans, and you don’t yet know you’re trans (or that this is a thing you’re even ALLOWED to be) the above feels a lot like serving a life sentence for an intangible crime.

You know what you’re supposed to do. You’ve seen it on tv, you’ve heard it from your dad, you know what are the normal trials and tribulations. You know you'll grow a few pimples and stubble and you'll need to learn how to shave, obviously, because it's basically a tradition in your family, and no one is really happy to be a teen. You know at some point you'll find a nice girl and you'll grow a hat out of your skull and then you will have to pay taxes and maybe you will have a baby daughter? You'd like it to be a daughter for no particular reason. And when you get a daughter you're going to name her Casey and she's going to be adorable and this is something you've dedicated a lot of thought to. Maybe its because you thought Nic Cage looked really cool with those long flowing locks in con air, the movie who featured a trans woman as a minor character for a few minutes (and she gets quite a bit of compliments, regardless of how the movie has aged), and he had a really exciting life, but goddamn did he love his daughter. There is no purer love than the bond between a father and his daughter.

This absolutely has nothing to do with your father and you, or how you hold no excitement for becoming an adult man, or how your father's excitement for you becoming an adult man in your stead feels a little stifling.

But i digress.

June spends her time on SBURB mostly hassling karkat, and readily following the instructions of zany, dangerous, COOL girls that seem to know what they're doing. June lets Terezi lead her to certain death without blinking. June lets Vriska dress her up as soon as opportunity presents itself. June thinks its really funny to trick this troll Who Types Really Oddly into believing she's Rose, and also into believing that she's a very silly girl. You may even say Homestuck employs a few of jokes pertaining to how her name looks like EGG !

June has a ball playing this game until it starts to get shitty. She's never able to mend her relationship with her dad, as he's one of the first causalities. She has to spend a lot of time waiting around with jade on a ship until things get cool and exciting again, but she never stops growing during those three years. Its fine, though, because there's always more things to be done and more people to fight.

Until there aren't, and they make a new earth, and while everyone cheers and claps for the birth of a new planet June realizes all her excuses are over. Her friends begin to grow up. Rose gets married. Jade is living her best life. Dave has a not-boyfriend glued to his hip. Jane has a job. Jake is on TV for some reason. June doesn't want to leave home. June's birthday is around the corner again. Here come all the congratulations for becoming a strong lad for yet another year! Vriska is gone. Terezi is gone. SBURB is over. Wacky hijinks have been swapped for real-ass, boring-ass Regular life. We watch her unsuccessfully chase after the glory of days gone by when Rose presents her the possibility of going back into the game, when things were cool and mattered, or her flimsy decision to settle down with a nice girl she hasn’t really made an effort to know and become a father and be absolutely miserable for four decades as she asserts nothing is real, not anymore, and this is just how it is.

Depersonalization, depression and general apathy towards the world are all pronounced aspects of dysphoria that seem like unrelated incidents for someone who hasn't came out yet. June's trainwreck of a life post-game, specially her feeling of hollowness and chasing after anything that could fill it struck a chord with trans readers who left the epilogues to read HS again and discovered this has always sort of been here. June being a trans woman who doesn't have the proper vocabulary to express she is a trans woman makes a lot of earlier bits from the comic click into place, now in a broader context. We settled in the name "June" because it's what she imagines Vriska is calling her at some point, amid laughs, but even that was discussed for a lengthy period last year. What would she want to be called, what are possible tags for this, etc. But it was mostly for fun and games, because the prospect of the protagonist of a 10 year old beloved cult series being ACTUALLY confirmed as a trans woman just wasn't something that was done.

Until word got around to Andrew Hussie and he was reportedly so pleased with this interpretation of events he’d be making references to it, and some time later, a box of toblerones was left in a cave as a gift for fans to find. The first person to find a toblerone thought it would be funny to dedicate it to June, because now she was an ongoing reference that was fun to make. Instead of it ending there, Hussie logs on twitter for the first time in a long while to say 'Oh yeah, i'll make it happen' and that's when the whole thing exploded. I have a post detailing this made a year ago (with pictures!) so i won't keep you here.

In the year since, June has been vaguely alluded to in Pesterquest (in jade's end card, she's having her nails painted by rose.) Has been widely adopted by the community, those making their own fanventures and continuations, and the team behind Homestuck^2. In every way that matters, she's already thriving within the community that brought her to light a year ago. But her coming out in canon is something that will take time and a proper narrative arc to happen, one that is still being set up. We know it'll come eventually, the only question is “how”.

Not that the wind waits for anyone.

#meta #june egbert #homestuck #homestuck 2

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mari-beau · 3 years ago

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PARTNERS - A Rogue One Fanfiction

Written for Cassian Appreciation Week 2021 Day 4: Alliance Intelligence

(I know I missed Cassian Appreciation Week entirely with this one, but it got a little more out of hand than the quick scene tags and etc. Actually, tumblr posting etiquette question: At what point is a fanfic considered too long to post directly and should be hosted elsewhere and linked to? Or is inserting a ‘keep reading’ break enough?)

Title: Partners

Characters: Cassian Andor POV; Jyn Erso, Draven

Pairing: Cassian/Jyn

Words: 2633

Setting: Post-Rogue One, Canon-divergent (in that Cassian & Jyn live)

Summary: Cassian receives his first assignment for Alliance Intelligence after recovering from his Scarif injuries, but something is amiss with Jyn Erso. And something is gnawing at him as well...

Spoilers: Rogue One

Warnings: Our heroes have a little bit of PTSD/Separation Anxiety; Also it’s in a layered/nonlinear narrative format, which hopefully is clear/works.

“Where?” she asked. Was there a desperate edge to Jyn’s voice? Or did he just want there to be?

“You know I can’t tell you where.”

Cassian thought she would at least roll her eyes, if not spout sardonic criticism of Alliance Intelligence not even trusting their own people, not trusting those rebels who’d sacrificed everything for the Cause. But she surprisingly remained silent, pursing her lips and giving a little shake of her head.

“Are you allowed to tell me how long you’ll-” She swallowed, uncharacteristically vulnerable. “You’ll be gone?”

“I’m not sure.” Cassian wanted to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but he’d never seen her look so fragile, and he was afraid a single touch might shatter her.

“Okay.” Her response was clipped, even for her, and she just nodded her head, refusing to meet his eyes.

“I’ll be back, Jyn,” he said. And maybe he’d never actually said it outright, but maybe she needed to hear it. “I’ll never leave you behind.”

Again, she only nodded her head, repeating “Okay.”

He gave into the urge, placed a hand on her biceps and stroked her arm through the layers of her thick thermal jumpsuit.

“Are you-” he tried to ask her whether she was feeling okay, but she shrugged his hand off and bolted, leaving him to watch her fleeing back as she disappeared down an icy corridor, blinking in surprise.

…

Earlier…

“Medical informs me you’re cleared for active duty, Captain Andor.” Draven managed to make it both a statement and a question. Of course he was the head of Intelligence, a spy to his very core, working in vagaries. Except when he issued orders. Those were always clear.

“Yes, sir.” Cassian tried to stand at full attention, but the stance honestly put a little too much pressure on his bad leg. If it was just the artificial hip, he’d probably be sprier than he’d been before. But the deep tissue damage was going to take awhile, if he ever did regain the full musculature in his leg, the tendons and ligaments would never be the same. The fractures in his vertebrae and ribs had thankfully knitted back up and neither bothered him too badly. Even with the unrelenting cold of Hoth.

“I have your next assignment.”

Cassian nodded, accepting the datapad with mission specifics. He gave it a cursory glance.

Deep cover.

“Is this a solo mission?” he asked, but pretended to continue to study the information rather than risk revealing his insecurities to his commanding officer. “Or am I going to need a team?”

Maybe just a partner?

“It has to be you,” Draven said. “And only you. They’re your connections. Well, one of your alias’ connections.”

The older man hesitated, not dismissing Cassian, not continuing with the briefing, just standing, waiting. Cassian mustered the best impassive face he could before meeting his commanding officer’s gaze.

“You’re still one of the best agents we have, Andor.”

Cassian nodded his head in silent acceptance of the reassurance.

“When do you need me to leave?” he asked.

“Whenever you’re comfortable enough with the mission brief. But the sooner, the better.” Draven was still studying him intently, with more scrutiny than Cassian had even faced as an undercover spy. “You know where to find me if you have any follow up questions.”

“Yes, sir,” Cassian said, recognizing his dismissal.

Something twisted deep in his chest as he walked away.

He needed to find Jyn and tell her he’d be leaving.

…

That Day on the Beach of Scarif…

“Look.”

It sounded like Jyn’s voice. Was there an afterlife, then? And could Cassian have somehow been lucky enough to be with her there?

No. No, that couldn’t be the case. There was too much pain. If he no longer had a body, then why did it hurt in the way physical flesh only could?

“Cassian!” Jyn’s voice was more urgent and she was squirming in his arms, her hands tugging on the sleeves of his shirt. “What is that?”

He forced his eyes open. It was bright. So bright. Why was she confused? It was Death.

No. No, it wasn’t?

He squinted, blinking his eyes as he looked off toward the ocean, well, where the ocean had been, where the wall of destruction had… stopped?

Jyn looked at him in wide-eyed amazement. “Is that a-”

“Shield,” Cassian gasped, in utter shock himself. “The Empire must have installed an emergency shield to protect the facility.”

“How long?” Jyn was breathing hard, already scrambling to her feet.

“Against that blastwave? Not long,” Cassian said. “Maybe it has dispersed some of the explosive force already but…”

“Come on.” Jyn was standing, leaning down to tug at his arms. He felt like he was ten times the weight he’d ever been on any planet.

“There’s not a lot of time,” he said, hoping she’d understand.

“Which is why you need to move your ass.” Jyn squatted in front of him instead, shoving her arms under his armpits and basically hugging him, she tried hauling him to his feet, but he was dead weight. He hissed with overwhelming pain that was practically blinding, his legs refusing to function. They collapsed back to the sand in a heap.

Jyn got back up, wincing and holding her injured shoulder before she renewed her attempts to get Cassian onto his feet.

It was a herculean effort for his weary body, but he managed to grab her arm.

“Listen to me, Jyn.” She locked eyes with him, and the desperation and pain he found there stabbed him in the chest, hurting worse than his aching ribs. “You have to go. You have to leave me behind. There’s got to be others still alive out there. Find them, get off Scarif. Leave me here. It’s okay. I want you to leave me. Do you understand?”

“No,” she said. There was a ferocious passion in the depths of her eyes, the green gone all steel grey. Any argument he could possibly make, any plea for her to save herself would not be tolerated.

“You listen to me, Cassian Andor.” Her hands captured his face. Her fierceness took away what little breath he had. “We live together. Or we die together.”

This time when she grabbed him, somehow her small body managed to haul him up, maybe she’d somehow given him some of her strength, some of her unrelenting determination, because his legs held... mostly.

…

Present

Cassian found Jyn hiding in a storage room, sitting on a crate with her hands on her knees, doubled over, breathing in big, sobbing gulps of air. He could only stand there and stare in complete shock. Not even on the beach that day had he ever seen Jyn Erso so… such an emotional mess. Angry. Passionate. Vulnerable. Yes. All those things he had seen in her eyes. But this sort of tangible, physical reaction? It was jarring to witness.

And he hesitated. Never hesitate. It could cost lives, the lives of others, your own.

Rushing to her side, he dropped to his knees beside her, the hard ice floor’s impact mitigated by his thick thermal pants.

“Jyn, what is it? What’s wrong? Should I find a medic?”

He placed a hand on her leg, tried to get her to look at him, but she turned away, her breathing still disturbingly uneven, like she wasn’t getting enough oxygen.

“N-no,” she choked out. “Just- Just give me a m-minute.”

“Okay,” he said. “But I’m right here. If you need anything, I’m here.”

A sob escaped her, and then she gasped, continuing to struggle to breath, hyperventilating. Cassian just remained there, kneeling beside her, a previously unfamiliar agony tearing at him, watching Jyn suffer whatever it was she was enduring and unable to help her. But he’d stay there, by her side, forever, if she needed him to.

Her breathing gradually grew placid until she was taking deep, regulated draughts of air. And then those determined breaths evened out as well until she was finally breathing normally. And still he waited.

Jyn swore, wiping at her face before she turned to him, and oh, force, her cheeks were raw-looking with tear tracks staining her skin. There were dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted. As if she’d been awake, hunted, for a week. How did that happen in just half an hour or so?

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” Cassian asked. He wanted to know, needed to know, so, “Maybe I can help.”

She nodded but her eyes were bright, welling up with tears. This was Jyn Erso. It took a lot to make the woman cry.

“What is responsible for this? Did someone hurt you?” Cassian could hear his own accent thickening but didn’t care, becoming too agitated to focus on proper Basic pronunciations.

Jyn shook her head but said, “No. Yes… I… fuck. This is so embarrassing.”

“What is it, querida?” He took her hand and when she didn’t pull away, squeezed it, caressed her bare palm with his thumb, noting that her skin was getting cold and he should get her back closer to the core of the base where the temperature was more bearable. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

She nodded. And again, Cassian was struck by how vulnerable the woman was. She always had a deeply hurt portion of her soul, but she seemed incapable of letting it show, even to him. It wasn’t deluding himself, or an over-exaggeration. Cassian knew that her friendship with him was different than any other she’d had in her life. It was the same for him. They finally had someone they could trust wholeheartedly.

But he still held his breath, waiting for her to bestow that trust once again.

She looked down at her hands in his, then to his face, her weary eyes holding his gaze, searching for something.

“You haven’t realized it, yet, have you?” she asked. Cassian’s heart beat faster. Realized what? “Until your Intelligence briefing this morning, we hadn’t been more than an arm’s length apart since Scarif. And force, I’m having a fucking panic attack just at the thought of being separated from you. How ridiculous is that?”

Cassian’s mouth had gone dry. He swallowed and wet his lips before he could even contemplate speaking.

“It’s not ridiculous, Jyn.” Maybe he hadn’t realized why, but that uneasy feeling had been twisting his insides since he’d first left for his briefing. And now, now he couldn’t deny its cause.

Because Jyn was right. She’d basically dragged him bodily out of that massacre, off that cursed planet, held him as he drifted in and out of consciousness until he’d blacked out entirely, to wake up in the infirmary on Yavin 4 with Jyn sitting at his bedside, arms folded on the edge of his cot, supporting her head as she slept. And from there, she had been with him his entire recovery. She refused to leave the room when medical staff or droids checked on him, only turning her back to give him privacy. He hadn’t complained. He hadn’t objected. Even when she set up a bedroll in the corner of his quarters when he’d been released from the infirmary. Even when she wordlessly climbed into his bed to soothe his fitful, painful sleep, even when she helped him dress. And shower. And limp down the corridors to exercise his injured leg. And after he was basically as recovered as he was going to get, she stayed. Always by his side.

The memory that would always forever be seared into his existence slapped him in the face.

“We live together. Or we die together,” he whispered.

Jyn’s pupils dilated, her eyes fixed unwaveringly on his.

“I meant it,” she said quietly. “But I didn’t think…”

Her hand reflexively clutched at the front of her thermal jumpsuit, seeking the only possession she cared about, the only thing she had left of her mother, her father, the only thing she had that was her own, special. But hadn’t she realized?

She had him.

Cassian took a risk, slid his fingertips over her cheek, which was soft and smooth and warm against his doubtless chilled fingers. But she didn’t flinch from his cool touch. Rather, she leaned into his palm as he cupped her face.

“I know,” he said. And he did know, could see the knowledge of it in her eyes, as well. He didn’t much believe in the Force, and despite the kyber crystal perpetually around Jyn’s neck, she had had a hard life, was a survivor, with a practicality that ran so deep it had taken him, a heartless assassin to make her believe in hope again.

Sometimes, though… Okay, often, he felt like that blastwave had swept them away, disintegrated them on the submolecular level. And then somehow they’d reformed. But their atoms had been mixed up, and he was as much composed of her stardust as his own, and she of his.

It was fanciful. And completely unlike Cassian. The Before Cassian. But now, it was absolutely the way he felt. It was foolish to deny it. And from the way Jyn was looking at him...

He leaned in, his nose brushing hers, his lips feathering over hers as he hesitated, waited for any signal from her, acceptance, invitation, or rejection.

It was an exquisite, agonizing eternity.

But then Jyn sucked in a sharp breath, one of her small yet strong hands grabbing the front of his coat, the other the nape of his neck, fingers curling in his hair. She pulled him into her, her mouth crashing against, hard and hot, and needy. Aggressive and tender at the same time. An inextricable mess. It was how they were. It was who they were.

It was perfect.

…

A little bit later...

“You have concerns regarding the mission, Captain Andor?”

Cassian had managed to catch General Draven in the rare moment where the man was actually in his office, sitting at his desk, reviewing… who knew what… intelligence, battle plans… food reserves…

“I do, sir.”

Draven looked up. Cassian had never questioned an assignment before. He’d always been such a good little soldier-spy. Even though it had been costing him his very soul.

Still, even with the feeling of Jyn’s kisses freshly on his lips, the presence of her burned into his entire being, questioning orders made him nervous. Almost as nervous as allowing himself to have wants, a sense of self beyond what the Alliance had given him.

“Well, what is it, captain?”

“I need a partner.”

Draven frowned in thought. “If I recall… the assignment is best suited for a single operative.”

Cassian swallowed but looked his commanding officer straight in the eye. “Then I won’t be taking this assignment. Or any others for Alliance Intelligence. Not unless I can work with a partner.”

Draven stood, did a quick pace behind his desk before he fixed Cassian with a hard stare. “You would desert the Alliance over Jyn Erso?”

Cassian wet his lips. Revealing such personal, emotional aspects to himself was… entirely against his nature. Jyn did not count. She was simply an extension of himself.

“I would choose her.” Cassian held the man’s war-weary, hardened gaze that still somehow seemed to have an iota of softness about the edges. “I have chosen her.”

We live together. Or we die together.

“She’s my partner.”

Draven sighed, but inclined his head.

“I’ll update the rosters. Make whatever alterations to the mission outline you view fit.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“I don’t know if you should be thanking me, Andor,” Draven said, but an elusive smirk flitted across his face.

Cassian did not hide his smile as he left, to find Jyn, and to tell her she was the newest member of the Alliance Intelligence unit.

#cassianappreciationweek #fanfiction #Rogue One #rebelcaptain #Cassian x Jyn #Cassian Andor #Jyn Erso

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crackinglamb · 3 years ago

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Chapters: 14/? Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan Characters: Felassan (Dragon Age), Varric Tethras, Female Hawke (Dragon Age), Deshanna Istimaethoriel Lavellan, Misyl - OC, Abelas (Dragon Age), Ivuna - Elvhen OC, Dorian Pavus, The Iron Bull (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Modern Girl in Thedas, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, and unrelated to that, Mild Kink, negotiated boundaries, Solas Is a Gentle Dom, You can't change my mind, References to Tevinter Nights, Plot Bunnies - Freeform, Mild Angst, Headcannon Glitter, Self-Indulgent, Unrepentant Fluff, The Dad Wolf Rises, This Is My Love Letter to Carly and Solas, Background Relationships, Male-Female Friendship, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Additional Characters to Be Added As They Show Up Series: Part 5 of Til It Squeaks: A Modern Girl's Take on Thedas Summary:

The Breach is sealed. The Qunari invasion of the South was stopped in its tracks. Solas didn't leave. Carly didn't either. Negotiations for the return of the Dales went about as well as expected. The Veil is...in progress.

And is that a cradle?

A sequel to Twist.

NSFW will be marked with **. Beta'd by Iron_Angel. Updates on Tuesday.

Chapter 14 - Traditions On the Eve of Battle**

“You do not have to do this,” he said.

“It's my job, isn't it? If it's the duty of every man to care for the mother of his child, surely it is the duty of every woman to see her man off to war with proper braids in his hair.”

“Carly...”

She tugged on the ponytail rather hard, making him gasp before he wisely shut his mouth. Starting at the top, she tightly braided the auburn locks so they would stay put, tying it off with a bit of leather every few inches. She'd seen Abelas with his hood down often enough to know how to dress it this way. When she reached the end – now brushing his shoulders even braided – she tied that off too, and sealed it with a touch of magic so it wouldn't unravel. She stared at her handiwork instead of his face, marveling that she'd been able to do it with her ceramic fingers and not snag it.

“I would stay if you asked me,” he said.

“You are Fen'Harel, undisputed leader of the Elvhen. I can't ask you to stay. I would never be that selfish.”

#Lamb writes #dragon age inquisition #solavellan #solas x lavellan #twist fic tuesday #twist some more

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mypoisonedvine · 5 years ago

Text

I Never Danced Until I Met You - Chapter 1

Jaskier x (female)Reader

Rating: T (we’re getting into E territory eventually… but not today)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.6k (ooh boy it’s a long one… and just the one chapter lol)

Summary: You and Geralt fought together years ago and became quite close friends, but you stayed in your kingdom as a knight while he traveled the Continent to fight monsters. When business brings him back into town, he has a new friend tagging along. Jaskier is mischievous, boisterous, and unrelenting in his romanticism: just the opposite of yourself. No one expected you two to get along… and exactly the last thing you expected was to find yourself developing a peculiar interest in him.

A secret meeting had been called late in the evening by the Queen and her closest staff members. Something had been hunting and killing the citizens of the nation, and a decision needed to be made quickly to save lives and prevent hysteria.

Sadly, not many solutions were being brought forward. You were only there as the Queen’s guard, not a politician, but after an hour wasted on nothing useful, you felt you had to say something.

“I humbly offer a proposition,” you spoke as you bowed before your Queen.

“A knight should not be speaking on matters of governance,” an advisor scowled discouragingly.

“This is not only a matter of governance but a matter of protection of the people: exactly what my Protector should be consulted on,” Queen Araja responded coolly. Her expression softened as she turned back to you, though. “Speak,” she commanded.

“My troops are not prepared to wage war against something of a magical nature. Our royal mage brings understanding but lacks tactical skill. We need someone who can assess this threat and fight it. A-”

“Witcher,” she beat you to your point.

“Blasphemy,” another advisor sputtered incredulously.

“Geralt of Rivia is a famed Witcher; I know him, he is a… colleague. I could write to him, negotiate a reduced price,” you offered, ignoring the dissenting men.

“Price is no issue. Negotiate instead for efficiency, and discretion,” she announced.

“Yes, my lady,” you bowed again, turning to leave. You heard the arguments of the advisors at the table, but ignored them as you rushed to your quarters to get out the parchment and ink so you could write to an old friend.

“There is a man at the gates,” the errand boy said as he burst through your door. His eyes went wide when he realized you were still dressing, your chest exposed. He turned away.

“I should’ve knocked!” he apologized, but you weren’t sensitive about that sort of thing: knights don’t usually have the privilege of privacy, and you hadn’t really gotten used to having a room to yourself since you had become the Royal Protector and been granted your own space and luxuries.

“What you should’ve done was let him in- you knew I was expecting a witcher,” you instructed, slipping the tunic over your head and finally your chainmail and chestplate. Sure, he was a friend, but technically he was here on request of the Queen, and that meant a formal royal greeting, with all the bells and whistles (or in this case, flags and trumpets and horses).

“H-he’s a witcher?!” he stuttered.

“Yes,” you looked at the boy with a tinge of confusion, “why are you so scared? You’re not a monster in disguise are you?”

Clearly he wasn’t one for humour, just looking at you with an expression of absolute terror.

“My horse is ready?” you presumed.

“Yes, my lord- I mean, my lady- er, knight-” he began.

“Shut up, please,” you begged.

“Yes,” he agreed weakly, nodding in submission.

You shot him one last glance before putting on your helmet. You had gotten used to seeing out of it, but it was always a bit of a transition when you put it on and the whole world was just a slit.

There was quite a fanfare, as you had informed the Queen how famous a guest they were entertaining. You knew he didn’t care about that kind of stuff, but it was moreso to send a message to the other staff that Geralt was someone worth respecting. Purple flags were draped over golden staves, an infantry of knights rode their horses towards the gates with full ceremonial armor, there was even a royal announcer to make the whole thing official. It would’ve seemed ridiculous to a foreigner, but it had become very familiar to you after nearly a decade of serving her Royal Highness.

Seeing Geralt again, even from such a distance as your horse trotted towards him with the company in tow, made you smile. It had been a long time since you fought beside him in the battle that made you famous and gave you the opportunity to serve the Queen, but of course he had not aged a day. You were only sixteen then, a naive girl full of anger and a thirst for revenge. In the decade since, you had come to appreciate the art of war, the realities of justice, the balance of peace. You were probably nicer now than you were then, or at least more polite, but every year and the losses it brought hardened you to the world. Even having advanced yourself to leading the Queen’s personal guard, most still doubted you simply for being a woman. Not that you were ever much of a daydreamer, but you were probably the woman in the kingdom least interested in romantic pursuits or anything of the sort. It was just as this thought crossed your mind that you noticed a man stood beside Geralt’s horse, dressed more… flamboyantly, to say the least. They were a nobleman’s clothes, and as you came closer, you realized they were an entertainer’s clothes: he was a bard.

You couldn’t stop yourself from noticing that he was rather attractive. He had a young face, but you figured he was about your age considering his frame and the shadow of stubble on his jaw. It was quite a diverse crowd- knights in armor, royal attendants in proper clothing, Geralt in witcher’s gear- and yet this bard stood among all of them. Dressed formally but with most of his doublet’s buttons undone, and a posture that suggested a lackadaisical attitude. You tried to ignore the chest hair creeping up from behind the collar of his exposed tunic, or the way the muscles in his thighs shifted underneath his tight trousers. Men didn’t really dress that way in your kingdom.

“On the behalf of her Royal Grace, Most Honorable and Noble Queen Araja Persepolla Constantine Asher the Just, the kingdom of Revellon welcomes and accepts Geralt of Rivia, the White Wolf, Witcher most famed, as a royal guest and an honorary citizen of her nation,” the announcer read loudly from a scroll after the horses stopped moving.

“So much for discretion,” you heard your lieutenant mumble so that only you could hear. You tried not to giggle.

“This isn’t really necessary,” Geralt grumbled. His voice sounded even deeper than you remembered, and that’s saying something.

“As a token of her gratitude and appreciation of your arduous journey, a feast will be held tonight in your honour in the main hall,” the announcer continued, ignoring Geralt’s disinterest. “Please join us at your convenience.”

“When is it?” the bard asked. His voice was sort of high-pitched (but then again, whose wasn’t compared to Geralt’s?), his accent indicating that he was highly educated.

“A servant will fetch you from your rooms when the celebration is beginning,” the announcer explained.

“We’re expected to stay in the castle?” Geralt asked incredulously.

“We suspect you will find our conditions highly accommodating,” the announcer smiled politely.

“And the security?” Geralt interrogated.

You smiled as you removed your helmet, letting your hair fall down from the tight bun you had tied it into.

“Finest in the Continent,” you said confidently.

Geralt grinned when he saw you, and you glanced over to absorb the bard’s shocked expression for a moment.

“You failed to mention in your letter that you’d become a member of the Queen’s royal guard,” he said joyfully.

“She is the Queen’s royal guard,” your lieutenant corrected.

“Is that true?” he quirked an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t have worded it that way,” you said humbly, “but yes. I am the Royal Protector and leader of the good Queen’s army.”

“Spectacular,” he said admiringly.

“You know this woman?” the bard asked nervously. You looked to him but you almost didn’t want to, now that he could see your gaze. You wondered if he could see your own unexplained nervousness.

“She’s a fine warrior,” he said, “one of the finest I know.”

When the formal greeting was complete, you let the servants show Geralt and his new friend around the palace, while you returned to your quarters to change into your dress blues. There was never much of a security threat at a party, especially this one with a witcher in attendance, but for the sake of tradition you were expected to wear your medals and stand at the Queen’s side with your sabre at your hip. You were pulling on your white gloves when a lady-in-waiting came to fetch you.

“I’ll be ready in a moment,” you told her, not even needing her to say anything- because why else would she be here but to tell you that it was time to escort Her Royal Highness to the banquet hall?

Everyone stood as the Queen entered, of course, and you took your post beside her. She sat and motioned for everyone to return to their seats, but you were expected to stand the whole time at her side. You always felt kind of like a decoration at these sorts of events… everyone would talk and drink and eat and dance as if you weren’t there, and you were not permitted to partake of any of it- not that you really wanted to necessarily. You took your duty very seriously, even if you understood that there was not much of an actual risk.

That’s why it was so peculiar when Geralt’s bard- you’d figured out his name was Jaskier, or at least that was what he called himself- stopped playing along with the royal bards and approached you with a chalice in hand.

“I noticed you didn’t have a drink,” he explained, offering it to you, “so I brought you a glass.”

“That’s… kind of you,” you replied, trying to be gracious instead of just confused, “but I won’t be drinking this evening. I’m on duty.”

“That’s all right,” he responded with less disappointment than you expected, “more for me.”

He took a swig of the drink and you felt so unsure of what to do. People normally didn’t talk to you during these things- or all that much in general, really.

“What’d you think of my playing?” he asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“It was… fine,” you answered simply. Now that made him look more disappointed.

“Just fine?!” he repeated incredulously.

“I’m not really the person to ask- I don’t listen to much music, so I’m not a good judge of musical quality,” you defended.

“I wasn’t asking if it was objectively good, I was asking if you liked it,” he clarified.

That was a harder question to answer. You hadn’t really been paying attention to the music itself, but the energy that filled the room with Jaskier played. It was different from other events you’d attended.

“The crowd seemed to be enjoying themselves,” you offered.

“That’s not what I asked,” he pressed.

You sighed.

“I suppose I did like it, yes,” you finally resigned.

“Then why don’t you come down and dance with me?” he asked.

You were blushing, strongly against your own will. This was probably the longest personal conversation you’d had in months, and it was easily the most interest someone had ever shown in you for something other than your fighting skills.

“I don’t dance,” you announced.

“You don’t dance, you don’t listen to music, you don’t drink; what do you do when you’re not fighting?” he asked with a smirk.

“I prepare to fight,” you answered.

“Live by the blade, die by the blade,” he quoted the adage in warning.

“I plan to,” you responded coolly.

You had expected him to be shaken by that, but he just smiled even more. What a weirdo.

“All the better to live for the moment while you can, before your untimely, tragic demise on the battlefield,” he countered.

“That’s preposterous,” you scoffed, crossing your arms.

“As your Queen, I order you to dance with this man,” Queen Araja suddenly interjected, “if for no other reason than for me to be spared of this irritating conversation.”

The smile he shot you when he heard that made you suddenly very nervous.

He reached out and it took you a moment to realize that you were supposed to put your hand in his. You cautiously removed your hand from the grip of your sabre and place it on his. Even through the white gloves you felt that he was warm, and his touch was oddly electrifying.

The royal bards started the next song and you tried to ignore the guests staring at you, apparently noticing that you were not really meant to be mingling with them as given away by your outfit. You felt horribly out of place, and the way Jaskier was looking at you made it so much better and and yet more nervous simultaneously.

You couldn’t even remember the last time you danced, but he guided you through it, slowly at first, and you were very aware of his hand on your back.

It was a lively tune, so you had to keep up the pace without stepping on toes which mostly worked. You tried not to say anything, just hoping to get this over with, but eventually you had to speak up.

“You’re staring at me,” you observed.

“I’m looking at you; I’m dancing with you, where else should I look?” he asked with a tone of sarcasm.

“We’ve fine silk on the walls, look at that,” you suggested.

“Silk looks finer on you,” he winked. “Nice outfit by the way, certainly stands out.”

“Can’t say I’ve ever met a man who didn’t mind trousers on a woman. Causes quite a stir around here basically every single day,” you rolled your eyes.

“You don’t seem the type to suffer fools,” he noted.

“And yet, here I am,” you sighed. Suffering didn’t even begin to describe it.

“This couldn’t possibly be less fun that standing at attention and staring straight ahead,” he frowned.

“It wasn’t so bad,” you shrugged.

“Of course it wasn’t, because you kept sneaking looks at me,” he winked.

Your eyes went wide. Had he really seen you watching him?

“You were the one playing music, where else should I have been looking?” you defended.

“Ah, so now you can’t say I shouldn’t be looking at you while I dance with you,” he countered.

You laughed, sort of an instinctive reaction to the mild annoyance-yet-bemusement you felt.

“Your smile is gorgeous,” he said with a gentleness to his voice you were unprepared for. You wanted to look away from him to avoid blushing, but you didn’t want to show any sensitivity either.

“I swear if one more man tells me to ‘smile more’,” you began threateningly.

“No, your stern, serious face is gorgeous too,” he interrupted. “I just hope I can get a chance to make you smile again.”

How were you supposed to respond to things like that? Even if men had ever been interested in you like this, you suspected none of them would’ve been this forward.

“Do you know how to do a dip?” he asked, thankfully giving you something else to talk about.

“I said I don’t dance,” you recalled.

“It’s not difficult,” he soothed, the hand on your waist tightening.

“Oh, no no no no,” you rushed anxiously.

“It’ll be fine,” he said in a way that wasn’t very reassuring.

“No, Jaskier, I swear on all things holy and unholy if you drop me on this floor-”

“I like the way you say my name,” he smiled, and just as you reacted to that rather unsavory double entendre, he swung you into the dip.

The only way to describe the sound you made was girlish… not a word that described you or your activities very often. You tried to suppress it and it helped but you were still sure everyone thought you were out of your mind. The fear of falling washed away as you looked up at him, and there was definitely a moment. You had heard of these sorts of moments before, but until now you never understood it. Now that you were there it all made perfect sense.

Just as you noticed that a moment was happening, it ended: he pulled you back up and spun you in a quick circle. You were incredibly close to him for a second, your body pressed completely against his, and it was exhilarating in a way entirely different from combat. It may seem obvious that those things would be different, but you had gotten so used to approaching everything as if it were a war.

The song ended, and unlike if it were a war, you found yourself wishing it would’ve lasted longer. He stepped away from you, and you both did the polite post-song clapping. As the next song was just starting to begin, he gave you a little bow. You figured you were supposed to curtsy in response, but you weren’t even sure how to, and bowing back seemed even worse, so you just stood there.

“Thank you for the honour,” he said as he came back up, and you tried not to notice his gaze trailing up your body.

“Thank you, for…” you weren’t sure how to finish that. Thanks for reminding me I have a sexuality, I seemed to have misplaced it for the past decade didn’t seem to be appropriate even if it were true.

“For showing you a good time?” he offered.

“I’m not sure I’d’ve phrased it that way.”

“For lively conversation?” he proposed instead.

“The conversation was the worst part of it!”

“I assumed the dancing was the worst part.”

“Oh, yes, you’re right, it was,” you corrected. “Thank you for the conversation: it was less frivolous than the dancing.”

He laughed in a way that made you wonder if you’d actually managed to hit his ego. You’d been trying so hard to do so, but now that you might have, it was a lot less fun than you’d imagined.

“I won’t keep you, you can get back to what you were doing before,” he said flippantly.

“You mean guarding the Queen?” you asked, offended by his tone.

“I meant watching me play,” he winked. Before you could react, he turned away and flipped his lute around on its strap to strum on it.

“Do you know Fishmonger’s Daughter?” he called out to the band as he approached them.

You smiled to yourself just a little as you walked back to your post, and tried not to make eye contact with Queen Araja: you weren’t sure what look she would give you but it would most likely make you more nervous.

You went to bed that night still trying to shake the ridiculous giddy feeling.

The next morning came early when the Queen requested to speak with you.

“The witcher is out on the hunt as we speak: while he is out and the infantry are on leave, take the bard out someplace,” she ordered when you arrived.

“What am I supposed to do with him?” you asked innocently.

“I don’t know, go to the training fields and teach him archery or something,” she shrugged.

“Am I to believe you are giving me a purposeless assignment, my liege?”

“Cut the formality; we’re alone,” she instructed.

“Sorry, my- Araja,” you stumbled. Force of habit.

“It’s not purposeless, to answer your question. I want you to spend more time with him,” she explained matter-of-factly.

“Why is that?”

“He makes you laugh. I’ve never seen you like that- the way you were last night at the banquet.”

“I apologize for my indecency,” you bowed, “I was caught up in the moment.”

“Exactly. Get caught up in more moments, please,” she begged. “It’s good for you.”

“Pardon my insubordination, madam, but should a Queen really be concerning herself with the romantic exploits of her soldiers?”

Even such a simple, and fair, question made you nervous.

“First: please shut up about insubordination. Second: you’re not just a soldier, you’re my protector and closest ally in this castle, and it bothers me to see you always alone. Lastly: who said anything about romance? Just make a friend,” she encouraged.

You blushed, realizing that your wording had accidentally revealed your suppressed interests.

“I won’t hear any dissent from you, now go fetch him from his quarters,” she demanded.

“Myself?” you guffawed. “A lady of fine standing should not be seen entering a man’s quarters. I’ll send a servant to do it.”

“Most everyone in this castle has forgotten that you’re a lady, except possibly for him,” she frowned. “Just go.”

You bowed before you left, turning down the hall to where you knew Jaskier had been staying.

Knocking on his door, you found it already cracked open.

“May I come in?” you called out into the room.

“Always,” you heard him reply, so you pushed the door open to find him sitting at the vanity, shaving with a dagger.

“On business of the Queen?” he asked.

That was not the easiest question to answer.

“Yes, she has asked me to take you on a tour of the grounds,” you explained.

“Alone?” He smiled. “How scandalous.”

You ignored that.

“Shame,” you mumbled to yourself as you watched him shave.

“Hm?”

“I thought the stubble suited you,” you stated, hoping it didn’t come across the way you actually meant it.

He stopped moving the blade.

“Wish you’d said that before,” he frowned.

The idea that he cared what you thought of his appearance, enough to change his habits, was intriguing.

“It’s done now,” you fought a smirk, “can’t go out with half a beard.”

He sighed, his gaze returning back to himself in the mirror as he resumed moving the blade slowly along his jaw. You watched intently for a moment, the muscles in his arms exposed by rolled-up sleeves, slowly shifting as he delicately dragged the knife along his skin.

“When you’re finished, meet me in the courtyard,” you said quickly before stepping back into the hall.

Why did he make you feel so flustered?

[next chapter]

#jaskier x reader #jaskier x oc #jaskier imagines #the witcher #witcher fic #joey batey #jaskier #also some pretty fun platonic geralt x reader #if i do say so myself #i have literally never written x reader before... i feel so dirty tbh loool

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alo-piss-trancy · 4 years ago

Note

Ok hi, I didn't wanna say anything, but please don't write knifeplay/bloodplay for Yuri. I def don't wanna spoil anything, but it's learned on a certain route that Yuri has a s*lf h*rm problem (I'll leave it at that).

You honestly seem like you're not trying to be a jerk with this ask, so I'm going to do my best to answer this as politely as possible without compromising my personal beliefs on the matter. This is going to be long and a little serious, but please note I'm not attacking you or trying to start a debate. I'm just laying all my thoughts on this down at once so I make myself clear, because a short answer would leave a lot of nuance out.

I understand what you're trying to do here. For the record though, I also considered that a pretty massive spoiler and I did not appreciate that at all. Even if you all think you're 'helping', don't do that again. Y/uri was pretty much the only character I'd managed to avoid most spoilers on and you killed the surprise for me. This game is already so full of fluffy 'filler' in the beginning that I don't have a ton of big plot points to look forward to in each route.

Now, I realise this is a very delicate topic and incredibly triggering to some people, especially with those two things combined. I am 100% willing to tag it with just about any variation needed to ensure you or others affected can blacklist/block it and never have to see a word of it in the future. I'd also be happy to go back and tag that original text post I made if needed. I mean that. You all are welcome to ask me to tag things anytime, and so long as you're polite about it I'm perfectly willing to oblige to the best of my ability in future posts! If I occasionally forget, just toss me a light reminder and I'll jump into editing and add it in.

That said, I want to make it clear that I am very firmly against censorship. I'm willing to take all necessary precautions to ensure people can curate their experiences on this blog and AO3, but at the end of the day I can still post whatever fictional stuff I choose to. As can anyone else. Same goes for more formally published media.

Now, it's entirely possible I would have gotten to that part of the game and decided 'oh dang, I'm not so enthused about that fic idea anymore...'. My whims and ideas change frequently, and what you mentioned is a heavy topic with a lot to unpack and process. It's also entirely possible that future plot would only provide more fuel.

Fyi, when I originally mentioned the knifeplay I was actually thinking a lot more along the lines of her doing it to the protagonist, not the reverse. But for the record, if I did choose to write it with focus on Y/uri, I would still be well within my rights to.

This next part of my answer is going to address some heavy topics, this is your warning!!!

Sometimes people's kinks are a way to take a thing that is personally scary or upsetting to them and find a way to reverse it. To find pleasure or power or get used to the idea of the awful thing in a safe, controlled fashion. I'm not going to go into the full details on this because there's plenty of explanation and research elsewhere already written up, as well as an excellent book on the subject, and I'm not turning this blog into a discourse debate. But I needed to mention it for my point.

There are plenty of stories that could be explored with Y/uri in this context. Did she have this kink before the self harm events started and it was completely unrelated, or did she develop it afterwards? How did she discover it beforehand? If developed afterwards, did it start out as another way of harming mixed with pleasure in a self-destructive way, often done sloppily and without proper technique? Or was it strictly used as almost exposure therapy to deal with those urges and thoughts in a safer, more contained scenario, maybe even allowing the partner she trusted to wield the knife to prove their bond/reinforce that she can be loved without being hurt deeply, that she is worthy of affection and trust and loyalty. Maybe this finally helps give Y/uri a tool to embrace her 'weirdness' without harming herself and others. Or, what if she thinks it can be a useful tool and is sure she's ready, but partway through the scene she gets triggered or has flashbacks... how does she deal with it? How does her partner? Can it be overcome with effort, research, and taking things slowly, or does she realize this kink is actually completely off the table for her?

What if she has this kink and is excited to try it, but her partner isn't? How does she take that rejection? Or do her poor social skills mean she skipped negotiation to begin with and attempted it in the middle of a vanilla session? Would her partner freak out or even get mad, or try to swallow their fear and let her do it so they don't hurt/offend her, even at the cost of their own comfort?

This topic also opens a ton of potential plots for darkfic, but I'll refrain from discussing that out of respect for you and others.

So as you can see, there's much more to explore than 'Knife=Hot'. I believe those discussions and ideas are necessary and provide important fuel for thought when explored fictionally, especially since mainstream media doesn't cover a lot of them.

~~~

I feel I should take a second to clarify knifeplay for those who may be unaware. It doesn't always equate to actual cutting/drawing blood. That can be an aspect, but usually only by those far more experienced and, you know, actually into that. A lot of participants don't actually go that far. Mostly, it's either about the physical sensation of the knife touching you at all, or the adrenaline/controlled fear and intimate trust of a partner bringing an object like that so close/teasing you with it.

In fact, it's frequently advised in those circles (especially to newcomers) to use a dull butterknife instead, because it simulates the same feelings of metal on skin/can dig in a little without any real risk of cutting/drawing blood. Even if one chooses to use a different knife, it's still pretty common to dull the blade, or some people even substitute with a closed pair of scissors (combined with the partner blindfolded, you can't really tell it apart from the real thing).

These versions of knifeplay are well controlled and ultimately pretty harmless, so long as both parties know what they're doing and stay alert. And more experienced players with sharper knives are even more cautious/have studied extensively to know where/how deep to go without risking scarring/serious injury.

Remember the golden rules of kink: Safe. Sane. Consensual.

With those in place, it is not nearly the same as self harm. Just as controlled, consensual, well-negotiated BDSM with safewords, respected boundaries and a trusted partner is never in the same league as abuse.

~~~

Now that that's out of the way, back to my point:

There's no perfect representation or narrative for everyone, in any group (be that gender/sexuality/triggered by certain things, etc). Every human being is different, everyone interprets media differently, and everyone takes away different elements from stories.

What one person in a particular group may find cathartic, relateable, or painful but necessary food for thought, another may find completely repulsive, personally hurtful, offensive, something they can't stand to hear. And guess what? Both of those can be true at the same time. One side is not immediately right over the other.

There are queer characters or interpretations of them in fics that I vehemently despise, might even find hurtful or sickening and think 'how can anyone create this, it's insufferable! People in 'my group' aren't like that, it's a horrible representation. I can't relate to it at all!' But you know what? Other people can and do, may find comfort in those exact narratives and experiences, may heal their pain instead of inflicting more. And that's great. It's what they needed or wanted and if I don't like it, I click away and do my best to avoid it.

There are specific tropes and narrative themes I personally cannot get through without being triggered into anxiety attacks or dragged back to bad times and places in my life. Sometimes I see them tackled in ways that are hurtful or seem insensitive to me. But I recognise that for someone else, it's exactly what they needed to see to get through that or come to terms with it, or see a way they wish that thing could play out. I would never dream of telling those people they aren't allowed to enjoy it, OR telling the creator of that piece of media or a tv show 'Hey ummm please don't use this plot because it turns me into a human wreck for a week'. Because it's not remotely my place to do so. They can create whatever they want, they have no responsibility towards me or my well being. A few might be kind enough to include a warning at the beginning of that episode or in the description, but they are in no way required to. It's up to me to curate my experience and try to keep my guard up/research what might have those tropes, and in the rare occasions I get blindsided, yeah, it hurts like hell. I struggle, I might even backslide a bit. But I just have to try my best to deal with it and make a note to be more careful next time. Because you can't control the world around you, not even the online world, and you have absolutely no right to. The only right you have is to protect yourself without infringing on other people's boundaries/rights.

And there's also another important point. There doesn't have to be a big important point or explanation for why a creator creates something, or why consumers can enjoy that creation! If someone wants to create a plotline with all of my triggers used in the most 'insensitive', 'wrong', pointless ways possible, strictly for Entertainment or pure kink material instead of some deep dissection of the issues involved? They can go hog wild!!! They are 100% allowed to do so on this earth, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) do a thing to stop them.

One person can read a kink fic and it hits a very emotional theme for them/they think it explores a deep topic well. Another person can read that same fic and get nothing out of it except their rocks off. Both of those readers are completely equal and 'allowed' to enjoy that fic. Both reasons are completely valid reasons for why the creator was 'allowed' to post/create that fic in the first place. Nobody needs permission, nobody has to answer to anybody except themselves. Period. This extends to any topic, any type of fic.

Yes, even for things I find absolutely abhorrent and insensitive and don't understand/want to read ever. I may resent everything about its existence, but I will defend to death the creator's right to make it exist in the first place.

It only affects me if I let it affect me. If someone's making content I despise or am upset by and can't handle, I can choose to ignore or avoid them, blacklist those tags, I can block them and move on with my day. I can do anything within my own bubble, but the second I consider going into their bubble and saying they can't make that thing, I am in the wrong. Because I'm not respecting their space and rights.

If someone makes cookies with ingredients I'm highly allergic to, pastes the ingredient warnings all over the box where I read them, and I still eat one, would anyone cheer me on for blaming them when I have a reaction? Would anyone think it was remotely okay of me to start calling up every bakery in town and saying they weren't allowed to bake those cookies EVER, because some people somewhere might be allergic?

No. They'd tell me I was crossing the line, because I'm infringing on other people's boundaries and lives. I'm expecting everybody else to take responsibility for something that, while horrible and painful, was my fault for touching.

Now, if someone sets out unlabelled cookies not realizing I'm allergic to something in them, and I eat it and have a reaction, that sucks. It's an awful experience. But is it the baker's fault? As long as they didn't do it maliciously, not really. They can be advised politely to label it in the future, and I can do my best to remember to ask/be more cautious next time I come across something I'm unsure of, but they're still allowed to bake those cookies for themselves and others.

Now, if I deliberately baked cookies with an ingredient that people are very frequently allergic to (ex. peanuts) and set it out in a crowded buffet without a warning label, that's a jerk move. That's intentionally trying to cause harm to others. But simply baking that flavour of cookies still isn't a crime or harmful by itself.

~~~

I'll be honest, I'm running out of steam and I think I've said most of what I have to say, so I'll wrap it up. I want to reiterate that I'm not ripping into you with this long answer, anon! I understand why you sent me what you did and I'm trying not to come off as harsh. I'm happy to go back and tag things and will tag anything else similar in the future!!! But at the end of the day, regardless of whether I personally end up writing that fic or not, or even want to after I get to that plot, I don't agree with telling anyone they can't/shouldn't write it at all. I wanted to try and explain my viewpoint thoroughly, and I hope you can respect that, just as I'll respect and try to accommodate you and other followers. This is the only time I'll really get up on a soapbox like this, and I have no interest in debating these things on my blog further, but it is a topic I've been passionate about all my life so I'm afraid I'm not budging on it.

#bear gets a letter #not omo #tw knives #tw knifeplay #tw cutting #tw self harm #d/dlc spoilers

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sengoku-revolution · 4 years ago

Text

Frozen Waters [Shingen/OC]

Author: Terra Series: Ikemen Sengoku Pairing: Shingen Takeda/Original Female Character Length: 6,308 words Rating: Explicit Tags: emotional sex, character study, Shingen’s POV Brief summary: A an unexpected event forces Shingen and Terra to trust each other. Warnings: explicit sex, tense situations, potential for loss of life Cross-posted to ao3 Here

Fic Preview:

Its winter in the province of Kai, and for the first time in a long while there was a significant amount of snow on the ground. Terra was so thrilled by the recent snowfall that she hadn’t stopped smiling once. Her boundless energy seemed to be vibrating out of her core as she walked with more of a bounce in her step everywhere she went. Shingen found her good mood contagious. He really couldn’t help it. He didn’t think he’d seen her so positively enamored with her surroundings until now, with rosy cheeks and eyes glittering like stars in the night sky.

He’d been working a lot lately, making sure that the right goods were coming into his territories and the people were doing ok. Terra had been of great help; organizing his papers and listening when he’d needed someone to talk to or get a new perspective from. She’d work close by on her own projects. As a biologist, Shingen noted that she had a very observant nature to her as she made notes on the nature and wildlife of Kai. On more than one occasion he’d asked a few questions just to get her to endlessly talk about the things she’d studied in her time, and what had most recently fascinated her here 500 years in the past.

Shingen knew that most of all Terra loved the sea, as she would most frequently talk about her experiences and how captivated she was on all her scientific work she’d done in the future. Terra called herself a marine biologist, someone who studies the oceans and its creatures. It felt like a dream every time she’d talk about diving, and all the places she’d travelled to. She never complained about being so far away from the ocean, but still, Shingen often made a note to himself to bring her back to the coast once summer came. Even though her heart belonged to the seas, she seemed happy enough to document her findings of Kai’s wildlife all the same. Shingen knew that if he ever couldn’t find her in the castle, she was likely out walking the forests nearby or down by the river. He found her sense of adventure to be just inspiring.

Shingen looked up from his scrolls to gaze at his love as she diligently worked on her own manuscripts. She had opened the door to their shared study to let in just the smallest amount of cool air. She sat close by, strangely enjoying the cold. Shingen wondered if in the future she came from people didn’t have to worry about warmth in these cold months. She seemed to gravitate to it in a way that was alien to this time. In fact, more often than naught she’d be out and about in the cold as though it was an afterthought. She’d spoken once of something called skiing, when people would actively go out into the cold to slide down mountains on planks attached to their feet. It perplexed Shingen, trying to picture it and how Terra liked to talk about just how fast she’d fly down the slopes. Clearly his love was a bit of a daredevil.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked her.

She perked up right away, turning her sparkling eyes on him. Terra was positively thrilled already from the suggestion.

“Can we? I’d like to go down to the river. I wonder if it’s frozen.”

Terra picked herself up from the floor and went to grab his haori before draping it over his shoulders.

“But dress warm, it’s the afternoon and it’ll be getting dark soon.” She warned him with a peck on his cheek.

Shingen caught her hand, and pulled her back for a more proper kiss.

Still holding her close he said, “All I need is my angel’s warmth.”

Terra’s blush was expected, but all the more adorable as she got flustered and couldn’t think of an immediate reply. Instead she just kissed him again, and then pulled his haori up over his head. Shingen started to laugh at her antics.

“I’ll go get ready, be back in five. I’m not kidding Shingen, dress warm.” Terra warned sternly.

Shingen only caught a glance of her long brown hair as she left their shared study. He chuckled to himself, but then got up to get ready. He found his heavier haori and tabi, dressing himself securely before leaving to join Terra. She was right after all; he did tend to get cold easily. His prior illnesses had left him more cautious in the winter months to prevent any potential for relapse.

Terra met him as he exited their study. He noted that she hadn’t dressed much different than she usually did in the winter. Terra wore a dark blue kimono with a simple pattern. In her hands she carried a scarf and gloves. When she stopped in front of him, he leveled a knowing look at her.

“Shut up.” she said with a smirk, before wrapping the scarf around his neck. “You get cold so easily. Just wear it.”

He chuckled, letting her do as she pleased. His love was very attentive, and he’d let her dote on him all she wanted.

“My dear,” He chuckled again as she handed him the gloves she’d been holding. “Your blood must run with fire as you never seem to get cold.”

“I find the cold refreshing.” Terra answered simply with her own little laugh. “I’ll be fine, once we start walking I’ll warm up quick. The clothing in this time is a lot thicker with more layers than what I used to wear.”

Shingen smirked.

“Get that smirk off your face. I know what you’re gonna say.”

“All I was going to say is that if my Goddess gets cold, she can simply come into my arms.”

“Chances are you’ll be the one asking to get warmed up by me at the end of this.”

“Is that an offer? I’ll take you up on that once we return. I have a few ideas in mind. However they all start right-” He leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. “here.”

Terra couldn’t stop her slight smile, even though she tried to. But then she crinkled her nose at him and reached for his hand before pulling him along. “One track mind. Let’s go you big dork.”

They walked hand-in-hand through the castle and out into the surrounding town. The market was still lively despite the cold temperature. The people bustled along, and it was lively enough that Shingen was proud his people were surviving well this winter. The trading between Tsutsujigasaki and Azuchi had been of great success, regardless of Shingen’s lingering aversion to Nobunaga and his supporting cast of vassals and warlords. He could at least appreciate that Terra’s friendship with the Azuchi warlords and Maru brought prosperity to his people. Sometimes he couldn’t help but think how his life had turned around from meeting her was beyond anything he’d ever thought possible. He wouldn’t be here without her.

“What are you smiling about?” Terra asked him. He hadn’t realized she was watching him.

“Just thinking about my Goddess.”

She shook her head as though exasperated, but snuggled up a little closer to his arm as they continued their walk. Having her warmth close by was certainly welcome. Shingen held her tighter too.

It wasn’t long before they reached the bridge crossing the river. Ice covered about halfway across from the forested side of the river, before thinning into dark flowing water. The water looked almost black to Shingen as the strong current carried it under the bridge. Snow was beginning to fall again, and he knew that with the setting sun, it would bring much colder temperatures.

Shingen was jolted out of his musings when Terra suddenly gasped.

“There’s a kid out on the ice!”

He followed her line of sight, and sure enough there was a young child walking out onto the ice down by the shore. The ice would be too thin even for a child; it would break under their weight.

Terra was out of his arms before he could do anything. She’d started to run across the bridge, calling out to the kid to stop where they were. Shingen took off after her, only catching up when they were both on the shore, and the child was at least 20m away, standing out on the ice near the center of the frozen river. Shingen felt his heart clench as he heard the ice groan under the child’s weight.

“My baby!” a woman screamed from further behind them. She too came running to the shore, tears in her eyes, worried and unsure what to do.

That’s when the ice cracked, and the child wobbled before falling through. The young boy desperately started to scream as he grasped out for the ice to hold on and pull himself up.

Shingen was ready to throw off his haori when Terra caught his hands.

“Uh-uh. Not you. I’m going out there.” She started to undress herself from the kimono. “I got this.”

He felt his breath catch in the back of his throat as he imagined Terra out there on the ice. His blood ran cold at the thought.

“Terra- No!” he tried to protest, reaching to tie her obi back on.

She smacked his hands away and continued to undress.

“No, you listen!” She pleaded, her eyes alight with determination and resolve. “I’m lighter than you, I’m a stronger swimmer, and you have a history with pneumonia. I will not let you go out there! I got this!”

Terra was down to her underclothes before he could stop her, standing on the shore of the freezing river. Shingen was about ready to protest again.

“No, Terra, listen, it’s too dangerous!” he argued, reaching out and grasping her by her shoulders. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. “I’m not letting you go out there! I don’t care, I can handle this.”

“We don’t have time to discuss this.” She met his gaze head-on unrelenting, and Shingen could see how sure she was. “I’m going out there. Shingen, I’ll be right back. And I’ll need you when I do come back, okay?”

The child was still screaming, and his mother was now in hysterics trying to call out to him to hold on. Shingen had to make a decision, and he hated the conclusion he came to in those few seconds he could spare.

He had to trust her.

“Okay, go.” his blood felt ice cold as he said this. His mind still screamed at him, warning him that this could be a fatal mistake. “But, come back to me.”

“Always.” She squeezed his hand once more before stepping out onto the ice.

Shingen watched Terra gingerly step her way further and further out onto the ice and away from him. His heart was still beating so hard he could hear it in his ears as it rammed against his ribs. He felt like he couldn’t breathe as he watched her go further and further away from him. He could hear the ice groaning under her added weight. Even though she tried her best to distribute her weight over a wider area, it really wasn’t a possibility as she tried to steadily walk towards the child. Terra was half-way to the child when the boy stopped thrashing and his head fell beneath the water.

Terra seemed to throw her caution away as she now walked faster towards the hole in the ice the child had fallen through. It was getting thinner and thinner, and soon the ice began to crack around Terra’s bare feet.

“Shingen!” She called back to him. “I’m going to go under the ice! I’ll get the kid and swim him to the other side of the river. Be ready when I get there!”

She didn’t give him a chance to protest as she rammed her heel into the ice beneath her. It let out a sickening crack that radiated out from her in splinters. When she did it a second time, she fell through. Shingen was sure his heart had stopped beating for the few seconds she was under before surfacing again. He watched as she took a deep breath and then went under again without looking back at him.

He didn’t think as he sprinted back away from the shoreline and the crying mother. His feet just carried him as he ran across the bridge and to the opposite side of the river to wait for Terra. The water flowed freely on this side along the shoreline. It still looked black and dark. He couldn’t see Terra or the child.

How long had she been under? Surely she would’ve surfaced by now?

It felt like it’d been too long. His heart still hammered at his chest. Shingen felt like he couldn’t breathe as he waited, counting the seconds that passed. He was ready to throw off his jacket and clothes to dive into the frigid waters after her.

He counted to ten.

One.

Two.

Three.

He took off his haori and scarf.

Four.

Five.

Six.

He loosened his belt, ready to throw off his robes to dive in.

Seven.

Eight.

Terra broke the surface of the black water with a heavy gasp for air. She began to swim towards him, with the young boy in tow behind her. Her head of brown hair was barely visibly in the dark waters. Using all her strength against the fast current, she swam with powerful strokes through the freezing water. When she reached the shallows she picked the boy up, and ran splashing through the water to the shore. Her chest still heaving as she fought to catch her breath.

She laid the unconscious boy down on the shore, and began compressions. Her hands piled one on top of the other as she pushed into the boys’ chest and started to count to 30, before leaning down to blow two breaths into the child, and then starting again. Her long hair drenched with water ran over her back and stuck to her arms as she worked.

Terra began to shiver, with hands shaking as she worked to revive the child. Shingen laid his hoari over her shoulders, and began to rub her back through the fabric to warm her up. She kept working, putting all her remaining strength into the compressions.

Then suddenly the boy sputtered and began to choke up water. Terra rolled him onto his side, arranging his arm to support his head, and bending his leg to keep him secure on his side. He began to breathe normally again. His mother had joined them on the shoreline, throwing her jacket over him and firmly rubbing him through the fabric.

“Get him home.” Terra ordered the woman. “Get all his wet clothes off, and get him warm.”

“Thank you, miss. Thank you!” the woman cried, before going back to caring for her child.

Terra still hadn’t fully caught her breath. She seemed to take in short little breathes, nothing deep enough to expel the CO2 in her lungs. Her hands shook and she still shivered. Shingen wrapped her in his haori properly, and pulled her drenched form to his chest and helped her to stand. She still shook in his arms.

“We have to get you home now.” He said, bundling her up. “C’mere, you can’t run back to the castle. I’ll carry you back.”

Shingen steadied Terra before lifting her into his arms bridal-style. It was a testament to just how tiring the event had been because Terra didn’t protest at all as he held her close to his chest. She kept her arms close to her core, but turned her head to press her face into his neck. Her breathing hadn’t fully leveled out yet, at best guess Shingen thought this was because the cold water had somewhat put her into shock and stolen her breath away. The cold was limiting how deeply she could breathe, and he didn’t want her to pass out. It would be best to get her home and warm her up before this possibility could happen.

He ran them back to the castle as fast as he could. Ignoring the questioning looks of those he passed by. The sun was setting, and it was imperative that he get Terra indoors before the temperature dropped any further. By the time he reached the castle, he passed several maids who were beginning to turn in for the night. As he briskly walked through the halls he called to a few of them, asking them to get a fire started in his and Terra’s shared room and bring him some hot tea.

Once inside their room, Shingen lowered Terra to the ground so she could stand. Her teeth were chattering as she tried to talk to him.

“I-I need to get a-all the wet clothing off.” She stammered through, her hands were still shaking. And her fingers numbly tried to work at her clothing but she couldn’t get too far.

The maid had then just finished with the fire, and pulling the futon closer to it. She left quickly as another left the tea just inside the door, closing it behind her as she left the room. Now with their privacy, Shingen began to undress Terra. He tied up her long brown hair into a bun to get the wet hair off her back. Then he removed all her underclothes, leaving her naked and shivering in front of him. She wobbled on her feet before moving to the futon and climbing in under its covers close to the fire.

“Tell me what I can do to help.” He asked her, desperate to warm her up. Shingen realized then that his heart still hadn’t stopped hammering against his chest.

She’d curled up into a ball beneath the covers, but then extended a hand to him. “Sharing body heat helps. Take all your clothes off, and just hold me.”

Shingen undressed without hesitation, and slid under the covers naked as well. He pulled her close, cradling her head against his chest. Her skin felt like ice against him, and he couldn’t stop the shiver that worked its way through his body at her touch. Terra slid her leg over his hip, and grasped around him at his back holding herself against him. She let out a content sigh as she snuggled in close, burying her nose into his chest.

It was only now, in the safety of their room, lying with Terra in his arms in their shared futon did he allow himself to properly breathe for the first time since she’d made her way out onto the ice. The fire was steadily warming their room, and being so close to it, Shingen felt its heat against his face. Still though, Terra shivered in his arms. He could hear her actively trying to take deeper breaths, trying to calm herself after the surprising event she’d just gone through. It was only then that he allowed his mind to slow down, and go over everything that had just happened.

He’d been so scared.

He watched her walk across thin ice as it cracked around her. He’d been powerless to stop her as she fell through. Shingen didn’t realize it then, but he too began to shake as he held Terra firmly against his chest. He could see in his mind over and over again, the picture of his Love falling through the ice into frozen waters and then disappearing under into its depths. He should feel proud of her for saving a child’s life, but all he could feel was the heart wrenching dread of what could have been.

Terra could have died today.

Even having her in his arms almost didn’t feel like enough to really confirm she’d survived. As she shivered and adjusted herself closer to his warmth, Terra began to stroke his back as though he was the one needing comfort. His breathing began to hitch as the image of her taking a deep breath before plunging under the ice played over and over again in his mind. If she hadn’t made it back to him, if she hadn’t been able to swim against the current, if she hadn’t found the boy under the ice, if the cold water had been too much for her…

“Shingen?”

His thoughts came to a halt. He realized then that he’d started to cry, the wetness on his cheeks couldn’t hide it. His arms had gone rigid around her, holding her tightly against his chest with steel like strength. Slowly, Shingen worked to relax himself into her embrace. He realized then that she’d started to warm up again, and didn’t feel nearly as cold as before.

“I-I’m sorry, Love.” He barely whispered, but then leaned down to kiss her forehead more so to chase away his own thoughts.

Terra leaned back from his embrace to stare up at him, before brushing away his tears with fingers that were still far too cold. It felt like her frozen touch burned his skin worse than any flame. He reached up to catch her hand in his, and pull it down to his chest where the core of his heat was to warm her. Terra’s concerned gaze travelled over his face. Even in her state, she was looking out for him. It made his chest hurt and his eyes burn. What would he ever do without her? He couldn’t fathom the thought.

Her sharp brown eyes must’ve caught something in him, because before he realized it she’d shifted their positions so that she lay on top of him. Her legs straddled his hips, and her bare chest was pressed against his. Instinctively his hands landed on her hips, as she pushed herself forward to kiss him.

He gasped as her lips captured his. She pushed forward still to deepen the kiss as her cold hands came up to cup the sides of his face. Terra took control of the kiss, as if trying to physically remind him that she was right there in his arms. Insistently she tangled her tongue with his, biting down on his lip when she’d pull away, only to dive back in to steal his breath away. Shingen’s grip on her hips tightened as he held her firmly against him. Terra let out a little sigh of pleasure at his heavy touch. She knew she wasn’t going anywhere, so instead just surged forward with her kiss and with one cool hand raked her fingernails down over his chest.

“Terra!” he gasped out, feeling a warm flush of arousal through his body.

Terra’s lips left his, but trailed down and under his jaw. He moved his head to the side, allowing her to do as she wished. Her teeth grazed his throat before she kissed over his pulse and then back up to his ear.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She whispered only for him.

Shingen found himself choking up again, his breath hitching in his throat. He’d still been terrified and just thinking about it again was making him feel like his heart was breaking. Terra caught this as well, and kissed her way back to his lips.

“I’m going to be just fine. Shingen I’m not leaving you ever.” Terra said against his lips.

She stopped her kiss, sitting back onto his hips to gaze down into his eyes. In the firelight her brown eyes looked like honey and living fire. There was a strength to her he’d seen many times before, powerful like a tigress, she had him captivated completely. Her eyes glowed and the strength of her naked body was fully on display. In this moment he couldn’t take his eyes off her. His Goddess.

Terra reached behind her head and untied her hair, allowing the long brown tresses to stream down her back. Her hair was still wet, but from being tied up in a bun it fell in rings around her shoulders. She still felt cool to the touch as Shingen allowed his calloused hands to travel over her hips and down her thighs. Her cool hands landed on his waist, causing a shiver to run through his body. The room was steadily heating up, and a fire began to grow in Shingen’s body as well.

He sat up from the futon, now with Terra firmly seated in his naked lap and kissed her. Where her kiss had been steady and reassuring, his was desperate and hungry. He wanted all of her right in that moment. With one arm like a vice around her waist, keeping her tightly against him, the other tangled into her hair behind her head. He kissed her relentlessly. It didn’t take long before she’d started to squirm in his lap as she kissed him back moaning out her pleasure. Her own interest becoming plainly clear as she panted between kisses and her nails dug into his shoulders.

Shingen loosened his grip around her waist just enough for her to shift up and reach down to take him into her hand before slowly taking him into her body until she was seated over him again. He’d always get a thrill of pleasure run down his spine as he was enveloped in her wet heat. Her deep sigh was like hearing angels sing. His need for all of her was almost too much. Her hips bucked against his, sending shivers of pleasure throughout his body.

He broke his kiss with her, but continued along her jaw and neck before biting and sucking a mark into her neck. She leaned back in his embrace, and so he continued down her chest leaving his mark above her collarbone and another over her left breast. She shivered in his arms again, but Shingen noted that this time it likely wasn’t from the cold. Terra cupped his face in her hands and guided him back up to her lips.

“I love you.” She said softly, belying the intensity of her eyes holding his gaze.

Shingen’s fears started to crumble away. Terra didn’t feel cold anymore in his arms; only the coolness of her fingertips reminded him of snowflakes that would melt against his cheeks. He thought again in that moment of his Love’s strength. She’s never faltered or let him down in the past, always his equal and his support. Today had deeply frightened Shingen, but all the same it had confirmed to him that his trust in Terra is absolute. His hands that had been holding her hips now grazed up her back to her shoulder blades.

Terra smiled warmly down at him, “Still looking for those angel wings?”

“I’ll find them one day.” Shingen said with his own small smile.

Terra started to grind herself down onto his length, pulling sighs of pleasure out of him as he went back to kissing her neck. Her hands had found their way to his back, one gripping into his hair at the back of his neck and the other running over his shoulder. She began to rotate her hips, back and forth, in circles and bucking against him. Her moans of pleasure were enough to steal his thoughts away as he was still buried deep inside of her. And as the heat between them grew, Shingen’s need to make love to her was only getting stronger.

He shifted them then, and supported Terra’s back as he lowered her down onto the futon. Her hair splayed out behind her in waves. Her legs were spread for him with knees bent for his viewing pleasure in the firelight looking incredibly erotic in her nakedness. For all her confidence before, now she turned away from his gaze with a heavy blush. He leaned down then kissing his way over her neck, whispering his love for her and sweet nothings. Before long she was grasping at his back again, with her legs locked around his waist urging him on to continue.

He nearly pulled out from her then, before thrusting his length back into her body, eliciting from her a quiet moan of pleasure. His Love was never very loud, but as he made love to her in earnest she gradually let go of her control. Terra had her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close as he thrust into her. Their movements weren’t rushed or frantic, rather a constant deeply penetrating strength of his body into her as he used his strength to take her completely. The emotional connection they maintained seemed more powerful still. She allowed herself to be completely enveloped by him, clinging on as her nails raked down his back and seeking his kiss between gasps of pleasure.

Time seemed irrelevant as their passion grew and her cries for him became more demanding, with her back arching up and her legs still around his waist pulling him in deeper. Shingen felt about ready to lose his steady control as she quietly begged for her release with choked out gasps of Please Shingen, please! He reached down between them then to rub at her tender core. Terra gave out a strangled cry as her legs tightened around him and she started to tremble and shake beneath him.

The simmering but powerfully growing need between them was hitting its apex. Terra’s slowly building climax reached its peak as she cried out with her back bowed, riding out its force that took her in waves. Her grip on him tightened, with her legs keeping him buried inside of her as she rode out her orgasm. It didn’t take Shingen much more than a few thrusts to follow her over the edge. Just watching her fall apart beneath him was enough to pull him over with her. Terra’s legs kept him tightly bound to her, not allowing him to pull away in the slightest.

His release hit him hard, his hips stuttering as he let out a deep groan as he came inside of her. Shudders wracked his body as he spent himself, and his arms suddenly felt weak as he still held himself above her. Terra pulled him down to her then, tenderly cradling his head against her chest where he heard her still rapidly beating heart. For several moments they just enjoyed the afterglow of their lovemaking, and Shingen found himself ready to drift off into sleep. But he roused himself, pulled away from her body and then lay back down beside her, sufficiently exhausted from their coupling.

Terra snuggled up against him, pillowing her head on his shoulder and throwing a leg over his and twining them together. Shingen noted she still trembled a little as he wrapped his arm over her back holding her close. It seemed tonight had deeply exposed her and she still sought his support. Shingen held her a little tighter, more than happy to have her in his arms as he kissed the crown of her head.

“I love you, Terra.” He said.

Terra shifted to wrap and arm over his chest, and made herself more comfortable in his embrace.

“I love you more.”

He chuckled warmly, knowing that his Love was going to be alright. The days’ events were behind them, and she was back to her normal body temperature. Her natural warmth burned like a fire against his side. Shingen reached for the blanket to pull over them both before contentedly falling asleep with his sleeping Goddess in his arms.

… … …

Several days later, Shingen and Terra were back in their shared office working on their individual tasks. However, Shingen had been reluctant to let her out of his grasp for more than what was deemed necessary. Terra didn’t seem to mind at all, allowing him to keep her close and even enjoying his touch.

They’d had a discussion about everything that had happened the morning after the event. Terra had told him that she valued his trust in her, but to also recognize how often she put her trust in him. Shingen had spent a long time after that thinking about all the times he’d left her behind to fight in skirmishes and lead battles. And he thought of how scared she must be every time he left. It was a shock for sure to finally understand the terrifying dread of losing the one you love most, but he also felt deeply sure of his earlier conclusion that he trusted Terra completely.

Now, sitting in their office working, he sat with his legs crossed with Terra in his lap. She leaned forward slightly to continue her writings of her manuscript, while he hooked his chin over her shoulder as he read over more documents that needed his attention.

A knock to their studies door roused Shingen from his readings.

“Lord Shingen, may I come in?” It was Yukimura.

Terra went to move out of his lap, but Shingen stopped her by embracing her from behind and firmly holding her against him. She snorted at his antics.

“C’mon in Yuki.” He called back.

His young vassal came in, only to blanch at seeing his lord and Terra so tightly involved.

Yukimura sputtered before saying, “Do you have to be so indecent? A warning would’ve been nice.”

“My dear Yuki, you know of my terrible affliction. I cannot bear to be without my Goddess.” He laughed back at his cranky young vassal.

Terra gave a small bark of laughter before moving to elbow him. Shingen stopped her by fulling enveloping her into his embrace in a hug that firmly kept her in place.

“Goddess?” Yuki snorted, “This boar woman-“

“Hey!” Terra interjected crossly.

“-Temptress, thing, has got you bent to her every will.”

Shingen hummed his agreement, pressing his cheek against Terra’s. “I am powerless to her.”

“You’re both gross.” Yuki just groaned at his Lord with his hands covering his face in defeat. “You have a visitor. A woman with her son. They say Terra jumped into the frozen river to save her kid. They wanted to thank you. I told them they were probably wrong.”

“I did jump into the river to save her kid.” Terra said crossing her arms over her chest.

Yuki wrinkled his nose at Terra but held his tongue. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Terra was a hero to have saved the young boy. And Shingen knew Yuki respected her in his own contemptuous way.

“We’ll go greet them.” Shingen said, allowing his embrace to loosen around Terra as she stood up.

He followed her to a more spacious meeting room, where Yuki then led the woman and the young boy to meet them. The woman graciously expressed her thanks to them, bowing deeply to Terra and saying how grateful she was to see her healthy. The woman pushed her son forward, who held a folded blue kimono in his hands. It was the one left behind at the river when Terra had undressed to follow the boy out onto the ice.

“Here you go miss- I mean, Lady Terra.” The boy corrected himself. “I learned my lesson. Mama says you saved me. I promise never to go out on the ice again.”

Terra bent down to the little boy and took the offered kimono. She smiled at the boy and ruffled his dark hair.

“Thank you, and good.” Terra beamed at the boy. “I’m glad to see you’re alright. I can tell you’ll grow big and strong when your older.”

“I told Mama I wanted to learn how to swim just like you!” the boy exclaimed proudly. “I wanna be a strong swimmer too, the best in the village!”

“That’s sweet; just make sure it’s in the summer ok?”

“Yes Lady Terra.” The boy conceded with more maturity and grace that a young boy his age should’ve possessed, bowing deeply to her.

They left not long after, with the young boy holding onto the sleeve of his mother’s kimono as he bounced along beside her.

… … …

It started to snow again as the sun began to set, staining the sky golden and red hues. Shingen found Terra standing out by the frozen gardens that were covered in snow. Again, Shingen noted she didn’t even seem fazed by the cold despite the events only a few days past, still dressed in a simple kimono with her long hair down. She stood gazing up at the sky as light flurries of snow fell around her. Every time she breathed out a puff of air followed, and her cheeks took on a rosy hue.

Terra reached out her hand to catch a falling snowflake in her palm. She seemed ever drawn to the cold. Even as a soft cold breeze hit Shingen’s face and a shiver worked its way through his body, Terra stood unbothered.

Shingen went out to join her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against him. She looked up, meeting his gaze with one that seemed genuinely happy. Strangely she seemed to thrive best in the winter.

Without intending to, Shingen shivered again as he held her close. She frowned immediately.

“I swear, I tell you all the time to dress warm.” She admonished.

He leaned down to chastely kiss her lips and hummed softly, enjoying her warmth against him.

“I guess it’s your turn to warm me up tonight.” He said against her ear suggestively.

Terra crinkled her nose at him, stifling her laughter before taking his hand and leading him back inside the castle. He followed after his Love willingly and he thought to himself once again that truly his life had changed for the better the day he met her.

#shingen takeda #ikemen sengoku #ikesen shingen #fanfic #Terra's writing #Shingen/OFC #Shingen/MC #Shingen/Terra #ikesen #ikemen sengoku shingen #ikesen fanfic #Fic length: +5k

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thewindbloom · 4 years ago

Note

Didn't want to add on to that post, but you definitely don't have to feel bad about changing your mind on selling a dragon! You laid out your terms and it was pretty clear they didn't really respect. If they keep bothering you, you could totally report them for harassment because wow they are excessive.

Thank you, this is a comfort to hear and be reaffirmed in, and I’ll definitely keep harassment in mind if it escalates at all in the coming bit of time. ^u^/

I guess I’m mostly just conflicted out of an obligation to follow through on my decision even after and through the annoyance of a bad day, before learning the behavior that irked me so was a pattern/repeat offense. I mostly just feel guilty about letting that taint my decision here? Like, heck, Sobek would be sold off at fodder price anyways after I was through with him / when I got a better breeder out of him, which I guess I now have a few from the recent clutch that would work, though properly unrelated mates are hard. Maybe I’ll just politely set up a CR with a note and my “higher” (as opposed to cheap fodder level) price tag, and block if things go horribly wrong? I made the decision a long time ago to stick by what I say and commit to and this is... one of those things that I halfway did, though never defined how. Left myself a loophole I guess, never set a price.

They seem perfectly reasonable and delighted to sell to others inquiring about their dragons, just a bit ill advised on how to go about asking - whether or not that approach is a strategy they’ve purposefully adopted or one born out of immaturity or through the example of others asking the same of them, who knows? I mostly just feel like I’d be a little unfair by shutting down out of the blue without a proper explanation or a hey, next time, maybe don’t? Like that’s a bad rap of me from their perspective if they really don’t get that they’re not approaching things properly... But it’s clear there’s already been a message like that. It was ignored, and then that evidence was erased before poking at me, I’m the evidence of that part. Why they left any of the previous messages at all is one thing that leaves me puzzling, though. My story-driven brain is wondering what purpose they could have fulfilled by being left behind. What appeal do those even make?

In all honesty, I don’t want to be the sack of lit dynamite here. I know I can be, and I’m prone to being that, but honestly I’d rather just be kind. I put up a pretty good front here, on my blog and in my interactions, but in all reality I am absolutely too easily the little ball of rage I don’t really want to be. Rose bushes have a butt-ton of thorns, Y’know? They can be pretty and smell nice for a time, and the buds dry well, but they always have thorns. I always have to disarm the cuttings. Same goes for me. Always have to chill and take a step back and be cold and rational and maybe push myself through a cheery disposition when I’m thorny and angsty. I can do and make nice things happen in spite of it.

I wouldn’t be wrong to decline now, and change my mind, I know this, but... if they *are* just a kid, I’d rather leave the door open to them learning to do better by others, Somehow. Instead of letting them continue on as the “flashing some cash will get me what I want when I want” kind of approach without at least a word on how better to do so.

I don’t want to act solely on my annoyance, or even on the knowledge that just prior to me, they were bouncing around trying the same thing on others. I know I was having a bad day the day they approached me, and gosh, half of my irritation stems from the giddy push in how they messaged, but half of it was just in how easily my mind took those messages and warped them into some other image/characterization in my memory of the events. Maybe the effect of thin slicing and the part where they felt a little like that one HTTYD spammer in tone just threw me off, I dunno. If I didn’t see the evidence of others prior, I wouldn’t have as much of a conflict in whether or not I would send Sobek over. If I didn’t know about any of that, I would be a lot nicer, a lot more willingly, after I finished. I cooled off. I know I did. My irritation was replaced with a cold anxiety about how many messages I would get once I reached out again, or once I hatched Sobek’s nest, a quiet fear of interaction. It only relapsed into irritation once I saw the DR post, and frankly, I dunno. It’s a struggle of the internal sort. I’m already cooling off again as I re-examine it rationally for the fourth time.

But... I think I’ll try the CR. Give a price tag with the explanation that yeah I‘m having a hard time finding a replacement for him still and that’s a cause for reluctance even after breeding him. Give them some pointers, say hey, this wasn’t so cool, be more chill, and then move on with my life. If they don’t like it, kick up a stink, big deal, I move on and block. If they’re excited and happy about it, great, I’ve done some good. It’s not like they could do anything with Sobek that would really impact me: I’m not attached, it’s a multi-gen breeding project in its infancy, I’ll eventually find another Coatl, I’m sure, his parents are a dedicated breeding pair and I signed on to a hatchery pinglist in prep for finding a replacement, plus his kids from the recent nest are still pretty cool. A double orange and a double bronze, with primaries that are closer than Sobek was. The double orange in particular came out as a great stepping stone onwards, if there was anything compatible out there rn. One day.

We’ll see how it goes. I guess majority of my feelings were in the bit where I was quite pent up and allowed it to run off freely and grow out of proportion.

#asks #long post #(again... oof. I’m too wordy!! agh)#why doesnt mobile have readmore capabilitiesssss #maybe I’m tired? i must be tired.#drama

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transcriptroopers · 5 years ago

Note

Can I ask what sources put out reliable information about the military and it’s history? What sources do you consider reputable? Are government websites reputable?

A good ask that I don’t have a really good answer for.

tl;dr there is no such thing as an unbiased source (I am not one either). What may be a good source for one thing may be a bad source for another. A good researcher should always look for alternate sources and be critical of their findings. When we cite works in academic writing, it is not to say “this is objective truth” but instead “I formed an opinion based on these factors.”

---

There’s a few reasons I don’t believe government websites to be

rep•u•ta•ble rĕp′yə-tə-bəl

adj.1. Having a good reputation; honorable.

2. Being in good repute; held in esteem; estimable: as, a reputable man or character; reputable conduct.

My biggest issue is that we should not trust anyone in the military’s chain of command to completely and accurately report on itself. This chain of command ranges from singular branch heads to the DOD and the POTUS. At the very least we should be skeptical for the same reason you should be skeptical of information that Purdue gives about opioids or Coke gives about diabetes. They have obvious motives for lying in the research and have proven to do so in the past; the U.S. Military is no different.

Another thing to consider is that government websites, regardless of their intentions, are an advertisement. When a government mythologizes its military history, it’s promoting its military to civilians. The DOD spends millions on having military Presence at sports games. For the last 100 years they’ve spent that much and more coaching Hollywood in “accurate” military portrayals which in some cases are documented propaganda. It’s all advertising.

How does it work? Will you join the military? Donate your time or money? How about you just tolerate our constant presence? Maybe assume good faith in the next drone strike gone wrong? As long as a large and invasive military presence is normalized and venerated, with every successive generation total devotion and obedience to the military becomes the standard. Effective advertising.A lot of times, the advertising doesn’t seem like advertising. For example, only slightly unrelated: in 2018 the DOJ had a budget increase proposal of $28 billion. It included a several hundred million dollar increase specifically for use in border control and immigration crackdown.Attorney General Jeff Sessions said:“The Department of Justice has the noble task of keeping the American people safe from drugs, gangs and terrorists, and this budget proposal reflects our commitment to do just that,” Sessions said in a statement.

This is an advertisement, a pitch: it is not an unbiased statement. “The noble task,” he says. Or is it a righteous duty, or was it god’s work? "Keeping the American people safe” becomes quite a different sentence when you know Sessions doesn’t consider Certain People “Americans” regardless of their birth place. Reading between the lines, thinking critically, and having proper context for what is said and who said it: these tools are more important than any singular source.

Finally, history is written not by the victors but by the conquerors. The US's take on its military history is simply not the same as the rest of the world's. We rehash the same glorious military battles over and over again - tidily revised for modern times - and leave out the coups and war crimes. We can’t ever learn from our mistakes because if we even learn they happened, we’re convinced they weren’t mistakes but accidents, inevitable sacrifices, or just popular opinion at the time. We forget, our victims remember.

Fun game: reblog this post and in the tags list the number of U.S. war crimes you can think of. There’s prizes at the 50, 100, and 200 marks.

Anyway, here are my at-a-glance criteria for sensing bullshit:

-Does the history use language that glorifies? words like noble, selfless, patriotic, sacrifice, and heroic can be red flags when it's about soldiers. If you’ve never read American history, you might be surprised to find that most service members are referred to with these words regardless of their actual deeds. - You should also take note of those dodging accountability: phrases that make you glance over complicated factors to skip right to the agenda. These include but aren’t limited to “had no other choice,” “were forced to resort to,” “it came down to,” “had a duty to the nation,” and “needed to do something.” You, the researcher, need to find out why what happened was so inevitable. Often you’ll find it wasn’t. - Is the history one-sided? How much did you learn about the other side from the source? If you read an account from the other party, what differences are there? Who benefits from the information presented? But after a point is becomes less “whose sources are more reliable” and more “who has the biggest reputation for lying or misleading with their sources.” (see definition: reputable) - Finally, is it considered "common knowledge?" The older I get, the more I learn that "common knowledge" in US history is just shorthand for "the least nuanced description possible.”

Types of common knowledge:

• Then, the pilgrims and the first peoples sat together and enjoyed a Thanksgiving feast.

• And George Washington and the other patriotic Americans banded together to defeat the British.

• Lewis and Clark discovered the West with the assistance of Sacagawea , a helpful native girl.

• Union soldiers fought against the Confederates to end the cruel practice of slavery.

• The U.S. shortened the war and potentially saved countless lives by dropping the atomic bombs.

• Martin Luther King Jr. advocated only peaceful and non-violent resistance.

• JFK was instrumental in de-escalating the Cuban Missile Crisis.

If you strip away any context then the above statements are ... true ... in a way ... sorta. But we never get that context, and that's how history gets re-remembered, then re-written, then re-remembered again. Fun game: reblog this post and tag how many of the above common knowledges you fell for! I fell for all of them!!Final note: no one wants to hear this one but hey general rule, if the conflicting history is between white people and Anyone Else, and the white history is patting itself on the back while the other one is saying they got murdered, X Doubt the white history. I am a white people and I approve this message. Fun game: other white people don’t infect my comments with idiot fungus

Thanks for reading!

-Kingsley

#military #dod #sources #propaganda #research

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stuckinadreamaboutyou-blog · 5 years ago

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Thumbnail Blaster Review and Bonus

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aduexpas · 4 years ago

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End of November (FD 1) [NSFW]

hi-ho~ this is me, nya or nick or whomever. even without covid-19 and other things going on (or not going on) in life, i wanted a way to touch base with myself. i want to practice writing and formulating my thoughts and the goal is that i can be understood past the words that are read past the screen. if you are reading miya, i hope you have a wonderful day or night. i think you are a beautiful person.

with that being said, i will be writing these fitness/health journals where i discuss (i say discuss but it will 99.9% be me) all the little things about life and perhaps things that are bothering me about myself. i hope to write every one or two days maximum and maybe at the end of weeks i’ll do a review. i think another foreword that’s important is that i struggle with focusing on what i want to do. it’s a by-product of the technology age and how i’ve been handling it over the last decade. with my reliance on gadgets and ease-of-use i’ll often over depend and lose track of what is important to me. like keeping my back and posture straight for example. writing out my every day like this will serve as a way to keep myself thinking about the next step, and also to be honest with myself and keep it tight.

I keep logs the past week and a half. i must tag these as [NFSW] because while i won’t be posting picture of myself, i won’t leave a filter for myself. i will be talking sexual health and things of that nature and really anything that pops to mind. archiving purposes is that i list everything honestly and clearly the way i have measured it. i also have random stats and ideas (not necessarily based on fact or proper research) that i will write out. without further-ado, i’ll start now.

—-----------------------------------------------— ◆MEASUREMENTS

CHEST 32.5 length 25 (28-24) shoulder privates - 16cm - ~5"circumference

◆CALORIC GOALS 3k cal - 412g carbo - 48g protein per day CAL - CARBOHYDRATES (g) - PROTEIN (g) - Total emptying of the stomach 4 to 5 hours - 50% emptying of the small intestine 2.5 to 3 hours - Transit through the colon 30 to 40 hours - bowels appear 2-5 days from consumption - bacteria doubles in 20 mins; 4 degrees and up is the danger zone for bacteria - chill food immediately if not consuming. work on food safety and getting food down when it is fresh. - The higher the sodium in the diet, the more fluid retention a person will have

◆WORKOUTS TO DO STRETCHING - 10 minutes a week, 6 days. one muscle group 1.7 minutes a day. - next 3 days (30) do not *M*, do not touch, do not think, focus - focus strengthening abs, make use of time, exhaust - situps, scissors, ★‘alphabet’ circles, backwards crunches, plank, side plank, reverse plank - try pushups - stretches to feet/ankle area to stabilize - lunges isometric workout, two dumbells

★ extra special goals - alphabet circles these are where you hold legs out and near perpendicular like in regular circles but instead drawing the alphabet. —-----------------------------------------------—

currently this is how a regular entry looks, without the formatting. eventually i’ll have a spreedsheet to link and reference. might have to steal one off reddit or something. water intake is something i’ll explain another time, but the general rule is 1 sip from a 370+ mug every 5-7 minutes. 5 on a 16 hour timer, 7 on a 8 hour timer. the goal overall is 8 cups of 378mL which is 3024mL=3Litres per day. to make it feel sequential and fluid (no pun intended) and have the kidneys working close to perfect efficiency, closer to 8 hour timer is ideal as the kidneys can process up to 1L per hour.

DAY― wakeup 6:00pm novel->8:30 novel sleep 10:30am ―water - 0.0 (8.0) (Calories) current---0.0k (-3k) - (c)412g - (p)48.0g missing)

◆ talking points ―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

This is what a usual entry looks like for tracking food and water. https://imgur.com/AjRzMOw.jpg ◇took a nap 12->2, depressed. - 1 croissant sandwich - (470) - 75g butter chicken 100 - 2.5g - 10g - 1.25 tbsp. red pepper spread 100 - 1 egg 100 - 150 - 45g - 3 snacks - 150 - 45g - 1 banana 80 - 23g - pita bites - 450 - 36 - 6 - " " - 450 - 36 - 6 - 1 cup rice - 200 - 44 - 4.2 - 50g imitation meat - 100 - 1 egg + tomato + potato - 150 (450) - 0.5 pita bread pizza - 234 - 10 - 00? - pork 100 (334) - 4 servings lasagna - 600 - 85g - 45g

---2.98k (-0.02k) - (c)~180g - (p)-150.0g missing)

General Calorie intake (6 days):

LOW -> 1.27k this as after high day. i couldn’t get much down. i had 5 servings of lasagna. i tend to underestimate the calories on all food items to give motivation to go for one more meal. unsure how much certain food items are worth but generally i am rounding down as rule of thumb. HIGH -> 3.25k pita bread pizza starting at 220cal per bread. lots of goodies. AVG. (6 days) - 2.375k calories

- ◇took a nap 12->2, depressed. - ◇still lacking a little energy, napped 10->3 i'll have to make up for it. bad day for sleep

- balance-left side is good. stretching out my stomache, atrophy, getting form and strength back. work on back stretch to correct posture, make it natural. - for strength training i need to push myself past perceived limits. i am afraid of injuring myself after coming back, but the body is far more robust than i think. get over this simple hurdle. do this or have very inefficient gain and an unsatisfied feeling of never truly pushing myself. - controller breathing, calm down, it’s not a chore, it should be relaxing, cathartic.

horizontal arm raises - 30s+ dumbells - working 5 to 10kg for lifts. right arm is about 15kg. but i will keep it isometric and the weight isometric as well. focus on strong posing and slow methodical form. we don’t want bad form as habit. if i cannot get the form down, i will work on another exercise to bridge until i am strong enough to nail it. - my core is very weak, particular center abs. lower and upper is fine, but i have difficult maintaining planks and even getting into form for pushups. this is a problem and i’ll have to force myself to work harder on it immediately. General water intake (6 days): it’s not bad. but i do feel inconsistent, sometimes very dehydrated. Personal thoughts... sometimes, i’ll wake up very dehydrated still, it’s particularly during the winter. if i drink 3L or more, i do need to pace it very meticulously to feel whole and well. i am very itchy these days and i have to power through it by not scratching. it’s like this during winter. air quality might be a bit bad on my part. [pretty unrelated, but i do need to masturbate less.. 2 or 3 times a day is already a bit excessive. the goal is 1 a day as max for a healthier appeal. if i am practicing anything, it’s self restraint and willpower. personally i don’t look at people or watch something and derive the same arousal as fantasizing. so fantasizing will be it, i learn to suppress it more.] with that out of the way... i need to breathe through nose more. it is essential to many processes, including have a better sleep, or so i think. first jog went good. just 1km, maybe 1.5km. i’m not worried about time until i feel 100% and confident to push the threshold. although jogging is nice, i am a runner and a sprinter so that’s where i want to be. sprinting 400m or 0.5km should mean that sprinting 1km is totally within realm of possibility. when i’m feeling really bad. dehydrated, tired, and my back is sore from bad posture correction, i go out and lift weights pretty hardcore. i input the water, not too quickly during it. holding water in my mouth to force me to breathe through nose. i think this works, but only as a bandaid for now. as i learn to control breathing and my body, i should feel more relaxed, and i do feel more relaxed. i ended up feeling very good and fulfilled after that 1 hour period. i liked it a lot and this is where i need to jump off from. see you again~ ¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`* •. (\__(\ (*∀* )

#self and workout

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asil-norahc · 7 years ago

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Just an idea popped out from Drawpile

Warning: I might make a lot of mistakes in this post bc why not so this is it. Oh, plus harsh language too (as usual i guess).

Okay okay, so, I was drawing on drawpile with peeps and something HAPPENED (greatest introduction ever)

see, on drawpile I draw HorrorSans like that (cartoon character and Croc -bloody bird guy- by @peanutable):

and LustSans this way (plus Pap cuz why not, although I changed his clothing so it isn’t very representative of the original):

And I somehow mixed them up at some point...

May I introduce you to... GoreSans!!!

Let me explain you what he would be if I happened to make an AU around the thing. Well, I DON’T intend to do many things about it so I wouldn’t call it an AU but since I can’t let a character like him with no proper environment to set him in I can’t let you without developping the idea a bit further.

It’s basically a coherent and logical mix between Underlust and Horrortale.

Now those who know what I’m talking about will think I consider them like dumbass, but I’ll develop the idea anyway and that needs a quick reminder of what those two AUs are (don’t blame me for my unecessary rigor):

Underlust. Well, I’d davise you to go check UnderLust Shame Cave, unless you’re under 18 and/or allergic to NSFW. WOW STOP ASKING YOURSELF I won’t make anything NSFW here don’t worry. I’ll try my best to soften everything for it to be accessible to anyone who might be reading this. If you feel offended despite my efforts, say it (politely) in the ask box and I’ll change the tags^^

Now I haven’t read UnderLust very much and I don’t know what occured since a long time, but here’s a quick summary of what I know :

First, it may be NSFW, but the comic has real depht and emotions. There are reasons to WHY THE FUCK EVERYONE FUCKS and that makes this AU completely acceptable to me. Now, the reasons are Gaster and the decrease of fertility due to... well, imprisonment in the underground and chronic lack of hope I guess. Gaster intended to fix the fertility problem by extracting the Lust from the soul of the first human, Chara, who was a... sort of... sadistic bitch? Anyways. Injecting the Lust into (adult) monsters had two consequences: relatively NOT FIX the fertility problem making the children the last ganaration, and turn any adult monster into a slut.

Yeah that definitely legimimates the NSFW for me. Not that it needs any legitimation anyway XD because the comic that came (pun?) out of it is about true love VS lust, sexual identity, abuse and all the emotional mess that comes out of it (hehe da inententional pun lol). So it is surpisingly interesting and kinda moving.

Horrortale. This AU is particular because it is settled in the FUTURE of one of the neutral run. Now, any sensible undertale player WOULDN’T want to have to face the consequences of any run that didn’t ended peacefully, would they?... uh, guess I would at some point...

Anyways, that makes the Horrortale AU really interesting because it just puts some canon facts together and think of how it would evolve with time.

Let’s observe some of said facts:

Toriel attempting to legally take the power and ease everyone’s pain with peace.

Oh! Your acts have consequences!^^ Peace isn’t an option now.

Putsch.

Crusader, surely future tyran.

Sans and Papyrus tempering the current crusader future tyran.

Bros will be bros.

... Click! (Am I the only one that saw a sort of threat in his last word..?)

SO Undyne putsched Toriel out (it’s definitely a coup since Undyne is the equivalent of the General of the Army) and now rules over the Underground with an iron fist in order to develop drastically the army for her to wage a holy war against humanity, implying she will do everything for her army to be well fed above citizens. Mh.

If she’s not going to become a tyran, I dunno.

Now I’m leaving canon facts to start about horror tale context:

To summary, the underground has turned into a sort of dystopic HELL OF A BLOODY MESS since the common monsters who didn’t contributed to Undyne’s army were left starving and had to rely on the only edible things they had on hand: other monsters.

Now feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but as far as I can remember, this is what turned monsters into... well, dangerous monsters.

SO, now, what would a mix between the two look like? Let’s finally talk about GoreTale!! (okay well I said I wouldn’t make an AU, BUT if this can inspire anyone to develop it into a proper one THAT’D BE FUCKIN COOL OMFG)

So it is set in the future of one particular run of UnderLust if this AU were to be adapted into an Undertale-like video game; Asgore is dead and the other souls disappeared, leaving the monsters behind with grief and despare. At least one monster has been killed by Frisk so that Undyne, Head of the Royal Harem (this is how it is in underlust DON’T ASK ME) decides to rule over the underground with fierce will to destroy all human kind. Because she knows nothing else, she turns the underground into a bloody brothel since she considers people had to surrender their mind, soul AND bodies to her royal persona and cause, plus she being blood thirsty after human’s decay, she does it overly sadistical and strong. Sans tried to temper her at first since his brother was now part of the official Royal Harem and feared for his safety, but she slowly became unreasonable. A bloody tyran, unrelenting and craving for physical and mental/moral abuse.

So Sans gave up on her, even though she was his queen, and left the capital with his brother. His confrontation against her left its mark on his skull, revealing a new aspect of this character: he no longer has only 1HP since he got some new LV by abusing and killing other monster for self-defense and his own need for food and relief. So the head blow didn’t kill him (and I don’t think it should have since Undyne surely must have wanted to keep him locked up somewhere she could torture him in order to mindfuck his personnality..?). Anyways, he must have scared her (or at least surprise her enough for her to let him go with his bro). They returned to Snowdin, and made an agreement with the Queen so that she doesn’t hunt them down: they guard Snowdin and bring her any human that comes by (since they are two of the rare monster that can live under harsh cold weather and that Undyne hates it, it makes sense, besides she doesn’t have to fear Sans and Papyrus’s ambitions to steal human souls from her bc they only intend to survive by their own, away from any form of control over them). And for the other snowdin inhabitants and soldiers she could send to Snowdin instead of potential / official trators, we can state that they are either loyal to the crown in some extreme ways but temper their wrath and lust around the skelebros bc they would surely bone them to death, making the boney bros kinda the chiefs in snowdin, or they are refugees that flee the Queen’s command and sought for protection of the weather and the skelebros, OR they all dead bc skelebros ate them up in all ways.

SO Goretale wouldn’t be the best life place to settle. Horrortale and Underlust aren’t either, but the mix between the two must be even more sordid and glaucous and bloody and slutty at some point and completely infernal. I could see an H.R Giger style for the environment that possibly evolved with the monsters, but with more colours. If you don’t see what I’m talking about, go check by yourselves; the first images must be eloquent enough.

Okay just one example that has no hidden nsfw:

Frogman - Giger meets Escher. imagine it with some red and gold and that’d be totally fit (or not. I don’t care.) I advise you to see more by searching HR Giger.

Warning: it’s art in the “noble” way, but it’s still definitely NSFW AND sordid as heck. So unless your innocence is so extreme you are immuned to sin or you love that kind of thing or you are appealed by some artistical curiosity, keep out!^^ (H.R Giger is a german artist that designed lots of great things including the Aliens of... Aliens. So it’s real good culture and you can check it out without any sinful interest other than artistical curiosity. You’re welcome.)

NOW THE REAL THING (finally. Why the fluff are my summaries always so long?!?)

You know that drawpile allows people to draw at the same time on the same canvas (I feel like I’m repeating myself). Well, tht’s great and it allows things like that to pop out:

Little funny doodles made with @peanutable (here is her OC Verdana, cute lil’ kiddy flowery skely-like monster that is innocence itself why am I not ashamed of putting Goresans in front of him?!? I SHOULD DIE ALREADY SAINTE MERDE !! ).

Now THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME ON DRAWPIIILE !!!

Frisk by @sky-lia !! She and @peanutable are such amazing artists !! It really inspires me when I see them drawing, and putting my characters in front of theirs really shows the difference of skill! It encourages me a lot to practice and catch the level! And it is really lots of fun to do^^ Oh My Gnarls Frisk is SOOO adorable they manage to move and disconcert GoreSans! And it shows a nice and somewhat cute part of him I surely would never have thought of if I didn’t draw with them ;) (oh well, after all, in this crazy fandom people see cuteness anywhere, even in the most unsettling places, so OF COURSE GoreSans is also a Teddy Bear lmao)

That’s it for today! That’s All Forks! (this pun MUST have been made already)

#lilshits #GoreSans

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phoenix1966sbottom · 8 years ago

Photo

When Sam is by the sea... Some are casefics and some are not. As always, heed the warnings where the story’s originally posted and please leave a kudo or, better yet, a comment if you enjoyed the story. It’s the only "payment” an author ever gets.

Sea Story by Chakatai on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest (if you squint - read the author notes at the beginning to understand the “pairing”). After the brothers move into a cottage by the sea to escape the trauma that the hunting life inflicted upon them, Sam starts changing. (no penetrative sex) Lovely artwork at the end.

O-sea-starved, hungry sea by StripySock on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. A case with a selkie turns into far more than the Winchesters had ever anticipated. Sam has to resist the urge of the sea, Dean's got to live with what might have to be done to hold him back from it. (no penetrative sex, although there are thoughts of switching in the future)

Stand on the Sea-ward Dunes and Call My Name by MisplacedLonelyHeartsAd on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Episode coda for s10e18 "Book of the Damned." A surreal dream sequence at the beach.

"Do you remember how we died?" What an odd question, Sam thinks, even for a dream.The author has tagged this as gen with wincest overtones. (no penetrative sex)

The Babel Fish Has Forsaken Us by indiachick on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Trying to escape a murky past, Dean Winchester moves into a dilapidated house by the sea—and discovers that one of his house-mates is an obsessive weather goddess, another cultivates dying fishes, and a third lives in the basement and smokes cigarillos. Then there’s also Sam, the harried student in the attic, who seems so familiar that it’s impossible not to gravitate toward him. Things are sunnily good, and in this house that abounds with corn and honey, nightmares and memories, ghosts and pesky blue-eyed birds, it’s easy to get lost in a reality that isn’t yours. But if this place isn’t real, then what will Sam and Dean find in the real world when they—if they—finally wake? (no penetrative sex)

Sea and Sand by srmrsj on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Sam and Dean visit the beach and sex happens.

Row Charon Row by dear_tiger on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Every night, a WWII destroyer ghost ship rises from the Pacific and drifts until morning, dreaming of the torpedo strike that sank her. A sea monster with a ghost ship collection has been trying to trap her. Sam and Dean, hearing reports of a sea monster, go on their first marine hunt, with disastrous results. Sam is dragged out of the boat and Dean jumps after him into freezing water and nearly dies but is rescued by the ghost ship’s crew who still believe they’re at war in 1943. Dean has to find a way to escape the ship and save Sam without getting shot by the increasingly suspicious captain. The sea monster wants Sam to go on board and sabotage the ship – in return for something Sam has lost, unknowingly. But he has to do it before the torpedo comes at dawn. (no penetrative sex)

Magpie, To The Seaside by indiachick on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Him and Dean, a house trailer by the sea, peaceful mornings recuperating from being ensouled—Sam could live with this, if only it weren’t for the uninvited visitor knocking at their door at midnight, every night. (the sex is ambiguous)

In the Sound a Thought (Where the Sea Meets the Land) by ignipes on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. The world is simpler by the ocean. (no penetrative sex)

Don’t Let it Ride You by kelleigh on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Dean and Sam hole up in a South Carolina motel while their Dad lays countless spirits to rest in the haunted grounds of Charleston. It's as close to an ideal summer as they'll get. Dad has plenty of work, and Dean has Sam. That is until locals start dying and the Winchester brothers realize that something other than a spirit, and possibly more sinister, is at work in the Lowcountry.

Sticks N Stones by JCRGirl on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Dean and Sam provide a little eye candy for the girls at the beach. (no penetrative sex). This is a part of a series which is, save for one moment of off-screen het between Sam/OFC, all bottom!Sam)

Dinner Beneath a Hurricane by dear_tiger on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. With a job in San Juan, PR completed, Sam and Dean head to a wild beach, to burn a dead monster and drink tequila in an abandoned restaurant. (no penetrative sex)

Little Monsters in the Tide by dear_tiger on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. There's a simple hunt on the Washington coast: a lonely beach, a house in the woods, and a ghost that comes from the water to knock on the windows at night. But how does one burn the bones lost at the bottom of the Pacific? Two days into the hunt, Dean is buried under a shipwreck, and Sam is having nightmares about an obsessed old man who's been digging up the beach for the past forty years in search of his brother's bones. (no penetrative sex)

Perfect Day (I’m Glad I Spent It With You) by anniespinkhouse on A03. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Takes place after Red Sky at Dawn (3.05). Sam and Dean go to Atlantic City with the 10K that Bela gave them. As usual, nothing goes to plan for the Winchesters, but perhaps, just this once, it works out better. (non-explicit sex)

Anti-kink: Sex on the beach by ash_carpenter on AO3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Sam and Dean have a nice, romantic little interlude on a moon-drenched beach, and everything is beautiful and perfect...Heh. Yeah, right.

Brothers on a Hotel Bed by softywolf on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. “We should go on vacation,” He said casually, grabbing a slice of bacon and chewing on it as he looked at Sam.

“Vacation?” Sam choked out. “Why? And where exactly would we go that we haven’t already been, Dean?”

“The beach,” Dean answered with a shrug. (no penetrative sex)

Sun Kissed Skin by audaciousdean on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. "The beach. The ocean. Girls in coconut bras and grass skirts. Pina Colada’s. That was a vacation."

My Favorite Martian by Ephermeralk on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest AU. When a space capsule crashes onto the beach where Dean’s working as an astronomer, he expects a NASA astronaut inside, not a humanoid extra-terrestrial named Sam. And he definitely doesn’t expect them to have much in common–like, say, being brothers. After all, his own brother Sam had died years ago in what was supposedly a house fire.

A Conversation at Sunset by a_stray_kat on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Dean and Sam spend a little time at the beach. Dean is worried about his Dad, and Sam tries to comfort him. (no penetrative sex)

Helter Skelter in the Summer Swelter by Spiraling on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. John decides to give the boys a "proper summer vacation" over the summer between Sam's junior and senior years, letting them camp in the Florida Keys instead of staying in motels. They use their time completely alone in the Florida mangroves, on a campsite right on the beach, to explore the sexual element of their relationship, which had previously only existed behind locked doors and between grimy motel bedsheets.

Flat tire and car on fire by modillian on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. They're in California. Don't ask. The details don't matter. It's just a little turn in the hell that's been going down in their part of the world lately. At least there's ice cream. And a beach. [A hazy, dreamlike interlude, a pause from hunting, in a washed-out seaside town at the end of summer.] (no penetrative sex)

Phantasm (Same Deep Water as Me) by Mina Lightstar on AO3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. The boys hit Key West at Sam’s insistence, but find more than they bargained for. (no penetrative sex)

When the Levee Breaks by Sammysgirl666 on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. After Sam’s first hunt goes horribly wrong, Bobby takes him and Dean to his old vacation home in California, by the beach. Three uninterrupted months of beach time would be a dream to any kid. But Sam can’t stop having nightmares and can’t stop reliving the painful memories over and over again. Too add to that, he has to deal with the sick feelings he’s cultivated for Dean, his brother. And on top of all this, he has one life-changing decision to make that will shake the very foundations of everything he’s ever known.Thus ensues three months that change Sam’s world as he knows it. After this, things will never be the same again.

Dream All the Dreams of a Brighter Tomorrow by whispered_story on Ao3. Sam and Dean spend the summer after Sam's graduation in a small town in Virginia, while John is away on a hunt. Sam is recuperating from a concussion, Dean worries too much, but there's whiskey, books, hours spend together on the couch in front of the TV, and the beach is just a short drive away. Things are good and they get even better when Sam kisses Dean one afternoon and they start to explore their feelings for each other. But Sam knows that the summer won't last forever and he'll eventually have to tell Dean that he's leaving for Stanford. All he can do is hope that it's not going to ruin the relationship he and Dean are slowly building, and that they'll find a way to make the new situation work for both of them.

Blood Song by Wincesterrific Kaz on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. A castle, an island and men’s bodies mysteriously drained of blood…what could possibly go wrong? Post 2x05 “Simon Said”

The Lighthouse by Twoboys2love on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Unrelated wincest. Sam is a loner, working in the tech field and on contract to maintain a small automated lighthouse. Dean comes to the island in search of a possible haunting. They meet and Dean enlists Sam's help in a hunt.

In the waves by Lalinka on AO3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Dean takes Sam on a break to the ocean.

The Haunting of the Burberry Inn by Deans_Fetish on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Sam gets word from an old Stanford buddy that on a dare for some extra cash he and others are going to stay the night at a “haunted” Inn, but Sam and Dean know that joke hauntings more often than not turn out to be the real deal and decide to tag along. All seems fine at first until the first death vision hits Sam and the body count begins to escalate. As Dean and Sam scramble to find out what the hell is happening they learn a bit of the Inn’s past and with it the ghost’s motivations. Can our boys make it out in time or will they be added to the growing body count in this Inn where you can check in, but there’s no checking out.

How to get there by smash86 on LiveJournal. Sam/Dean. Wincest. Prompt: "A 'funny' prank turns out not to be so funny when Sam gets badly hurt. Bonus points if something happens to those delicious, long fingers of his and we get to see protective Dean."

#fanfic rec #wincest #sea #case fic #bottom!sam #ocean #beach #wincest au

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nyanpotato · 8 years ago

Text

Callout for @d-the-hedgehog

A couple notes to state before you start reading:

Gaster is genderfluid and uses he/him pronouns.

Dylan is straight and cis.

The timestamps are outdated (Ones that read ‘Last Monday at 3:47am and such as, not the ones with real dates like 3/31/17), this would have been posted sooner if it weren't for schoolwork and whatnot.

I’ve known D for roughly 9 months, and I’ve tried to help him be the best person he can be ever since I’ve met him. My friend Gaster dated him for those nine months as well and overall, he has been unwilling to cooperate with us in order for us to help the situations we would come across during those months.

Tldr; Dylan is a transphobic, manipulative emotional abuser who hurt his own s/o, and two friends who tried their hardest to help him become a better partner, but only ends up being a shitty friend to us in return by making himself feel like the victim in this situation and spreading lies about us to make himself look good in front of other people.

First of all, this whole dispute between him and us all mainly started because he wanted to join a server that Colin (another close friend), Gaster, and I were in with a close group of friends. We’ve told him multiple times that we don’t want him in the chat; there’s a big timezone difference, and plus not everyone consented to wanting him into the chat ever due to a past experience. He’d always ask about it and feel left out anyways, despite the fact that we stopped bringing up that chat entirely once we found out it upset him, he’d only complain about it if by chance we talked about something minor happening in the main or someone from it, but D would sometimes bring it up any chance he got in an attempt to guilt trip us, especially Gaster.

Here’s one of the first times we brought up the main.

(hid name)

We weren’t sure how he’d react next time the server was brought up again, we were joking around and Gaster explained what was going on. (Colin was not in the server with Dylan at the time)

(context for the “i wish they all said yes”, everyone in the main voted not to have dylan join)

Next day, he makes this post and sends it to us.The fact that he sent the post to us is a shitty fucking way to guilt trip us.

(link)

I want to explain the problems with his explanation.

Dylan expresses extreme possessiveness over Gaster solely because Papyrus is his favorite character. To the point where he even considers that Gaster would leave him for a fictional character.

He misgenders Gaster.

“I just really want to become a member of the squad, so i can finally feel part of something i can relate to.” While I understand why he’s upset, he still continues to ignore our reasoning as to why he couldn’t join. We even told him multiple reason why he couldn’t; all of us live in the US while he’s in England, there’s a huge time zone difference and he’s only online when the majority of us are asleep. And we had a bad incident with having more people join our group.

“Look… I’ll be fine if i just get in there” this implies that he absolutely does not care why we don’t want him in and continues to be petty.

After that, we agreed to talk about the server less, until one day he and Gaster talked about how their day went.

Dylan is making Gaster feel like this is his fault when it really isn’t, he doesn’t take the blame for his behavior or even comfort his s/o. He feels bad because we don’t let him the server, and gets the assumption that he’s a repellent, when we previously explained that it wasn’t because we didn’t like him.

So a couple months went by, and he’d still complain about not being the server. And it was apparent that every time we've shown close affections for each other, he takes it too seriously and takes it as a form of exclusion. Here are a couple of examples:

Before, through the tags in a post to take a peek at Gaster’s personal blog link too, while in a call with the both of us, despite us telling him very clearly not to do that. And then he got upset over the posts on their personal blog that he wasn’t supposed to see. And he very well knew it. I can’t provide screenshots however because it happened during a call. Not to forget the fact that he has told Gaster to delete posts and tags on posts solely because they upset him. Now, yeah that’s valid, but the things that upset him were; Down With The Cis Jokes aka, a lie made up by cis people in order to make trans people look bad, and Gaster commenting on how much he really loves Papyrus (or just any fictional character period).

After arguments relating to that (the majority of them being initiated through dms between Gaster and D), things seemed to have quieted down for a while. But there were still a lot of disputes going on.

Then came the day of their breakup, and what was it the broke the ties? The dragon maid anime. I know that sounds ridiculous at first, but the thing is, D had started watching it and appeared to have been enjoying it so far, but he refused to listen to Gaster, who pointed out that the anime was in fact very disgusting as it promoted pedophilia, incest, shota and child porn (ex: the author drew porn of a succubus having sex with a literal infant ). More about it here. Here’s the first time Gaster has brought up its problems, a month before it came to my attention and to Colin’s.

A month later:

( he warned him so he didnt have to see it and all D does is get mad at Gaster in return??)

(suddenly he starts getting scared because hes being told to stop watching a gross anime??)

Gaster then brings this issue to Colin and I.

After the break up, D would vague post about him on his blog and to people in other servers who had no business knowing about the situation, he even sent Gaster and I screenshots but we would rather not post them on here for the safety of other Discord user's identities. He would also constantly use “s/he” or simply feminine pronouns instead of Gaster’s proper pronouns. And for whatever reasons he still follows and reblogs my posts (note that I never blocked him and he never blocked me). He’s been reblogging a handful of posts related to gender positivity, as a way to cover up the unexcused transphobia he's done.

More unassorted bullshit he’s done:

(then he brings up something unrelated?? Like hes purposefully trying to avoid this topic that he brought up??)

(Said post here)

(holy shit its fucking BONETROUSLE CALM DOWN???)

D made a forced attempt to get Gaster into two servers (that he eventually left but nonetheless) literally until the point where he would frighten his own partner, purposely making him anxious and not caring about how he feels. He did this as a way to get back at him for not letting him into a private server.

Tldr repeat; Dylan is a transphobic, manipulative emotional abuser who hurt his own s/o, and two friends who tried their hardest to help him become a better partner, but only ends up being a shitty friend to us in return by making himself feel like the victim in this situation and spreading lies about us to make himself look good in front of other people.

#long post #callout #d-the-hedgehog #drama/#callout/#abuse/#trauma/#abusive/#pedophilia/#incest/#long post/#theyre mainly mentions but ykno

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