#leave some prettiness for us gremlins

[dogpaw8]

como chucha hyuka siempre se ve tan ethereal ?????

[miriani-lavellan]

Ahh, Lucanis. So let me first say, his scenes make total sense and I'm happy with what we got - we all want more from our faves, but they did manage to compact a lot of trauma and resolution in some fairly compact quests. Here's what I think happened that wasn't made explicitly clear though:

Lucanis chooses the pantry to sleep in because he's been imprisoned and tortured for a year, and he's not ready to leave captivity yet, not inside his head. He locks himself in there because it's familiar misery to him, which is easier to deal with than scary freedom.

Lucanis' letter to Rook before he asks Emmrich to bring Zara back for questioning tells us he's suicidal at that point, and probably has been for a while. Spite, however, doesn't see him as a lost cause - he never uses that to take over Lucanis' body entirely. This is so interesting to me, when we know things like that pretty famously happen all the time in Thedas. He's determined to keep Lucanis alive - and he asks for Rook's help in doing so.

We are in the NORTH now BABY! Attitudes towards spirits and demons are different here, especially in Rivain, and it seems with our Rook too, who never expresses any chantry-esque hang ups (that I've seen). Seer Rowan greets Spite as Determination, and that's how he's introduced by Isabela (with some excitement) if you fight in the hall of Valor. What happened to Spite is just as sad as what happened to Lucanis. He was violated, perhaps corrupted, and definitely trapped - and hurts Lucanis sometimes in his frustration. But, I think he likes Lucanis! He's his host's little head gremlin, and I think the relationship they have (that we don't see too much of) is healthier than any of the possessed individuals we've seen before.

Because? Lucanis is not a spiteful person. He wants revenge, yes, and he's angry, but he doesn't hurt everyone around him because he's in pain. One of the first things he does when he becomes part of the team is go shopping for them. And despite how Ilario and Caterina have hurt him - and you can argue all day whether he's right to be like this - he still cares for them.

I think that when we help Lucanis leave the prison inside his head, we are helping Spite to return to his original nature as Determination just a little more. We're determined to help our friend, and you know what? Spite is too. For himself, firstly, because Lucanis's pain is hurting him, but in the end, he's done it for Lucanis too. There's an argument there that Determination didn't get corrupted at all - just hurt, and that Lucanis, with his loving nature, has been keeping him from turning into a mindless demon of pain.

I thought for a long time that when Lucanis breaks away from kissing Rook, it was because Spite said something horrible to him. But actually, I think it was Lucanis himself, remembering how trapped he is. Thinking about the eventuality of killing himself - I strongly suspect that's what he was thinking about before he fell asleep, and that's why Spite was trying to go walkabout - trying to get out from where Lucanis can't. Lucanis got lost in the moment, but of course he doesn't want to drag Rook into that.

Lucanis making dessert for Rook and thinking that's the same as asking them out (but not actually asking them out) is so completely on brand for him I laughed. He has no idea what he's doing. It would have been nice, though, for Rook to reply to one of the companion's 'so you're together?' banters with... 'we are?' Or for Rook to be able to ask him. Unfortunately, we don't get those convos where we can spam ask questions etc like in DA:I - I did wonder if that got cut and we missed some resolution to that.

Lucanis gives no shits about everyone knowing he's Rook's love interest. He's not ashamed of himself or scared he'll hurt them - Rook has helped both him and Spite. And judging by the way Spite's wings come out to embrace Rook as they kiss Lucanis, I suspect that Spite might love them, too.

[codtrashsammy]

Soft Ghoap Thoughts

Don't get me wrong, i'm a feral freak for all the dark!Ghoap content, too. ...but like... lil idiot soft boys who know they love you but also know they love each other and don't know how to use Google to properly define anything between y'all Maybe you met Johnny first and you guys just clicked and then somehow Simon showed up, and now you're all just a sweet little trio And it's not even sexual for the longest time- Simon would be far too traumatized to just go for that and Johnny has his whole manwhore persona, so he wouldn't want to risk pushing you away in the slightest. So you just casually have these two big ass military duded in your apartment (a house? In this economy?) that just casually exist with you. Simon cursing while trying to fix that leaky faucet you've had since before you even moved in, while griping and barking at Johnny to hold the flashlight steady and you're just sitting on the counter watching it all in amusement. (Simon: Bloody hell, just HOLD the thing Johnny: 'm tryin' real hard, LT, real hard Simon: You're clearly fucking NOT and really they're only doing it because of your little giggles and quips as you sit over their shoulder watching, such a pretty baby for them, just bein' around them and blessing them with your presence) Johnny with his arms wrapped around you after a bad day at work and Simon just comes over and flops down nearby like a cat who wants attention but isn't willing to ask for it- so they both just hand around and kinda comfort you, but really they just wanna touch you. You, who is so confused because one minute they're griping and bantering with each other and the next you have Johnny leaving little kisses on your cheeks with a dumb grin while Simon just happily interlocks your fingers with his when you're walking back home from the bar. Simon and Johnny both who are as obsessed and in love with each other as they are you but are too scared to put a label to it in case that's what finally scares you off and they'd rather have some of you than none of you at all. Okay, more soft thoughts coming later <3 I love these war gremlins sm

[cosmopretty]

My Shorty

Paige Bueckers x fem

Ice stands up and motions you to get up off of your girlfriend Paige’s lap. You shake your head no, not wanting to be embarrassed on KK’s TikTok live due to your height. The blonde behind you laughs and moves you off of her lap “Come on baby” she whispers.

You walk and stand next to Ice your head only reaching the higher part of her stomach. Everyone starts laughing around you both and you flip them off “Shut up the difference not that bad for real” you say shaking your head. Ice puts her elbow on your head and pretends to start reading comments you shoved her and walk back over to Paige and sitting back on her lap. KK laughs “Thank god Y/n came here because I used to get bullied for being short so thank you Y/n” the 5’9 basketball player laughs as you throw a pillow at her. ”I’m five foot four that’s not even short you guys are just giants like oh my fucking god” you get up and walk to Paige’s room and slam the door. Paige gives KK a look “Come on yall ain’t gotta do all that” the blonde gets up and goes to her room not before giving the live her signature rizz hands and a wink.

You lay on Paige’s bed your head stuffed in the pillow with your hands under it. You went mad at all don’t get it wrong, but it was annoying you how the lives comments were filled with short jokes like most of them weren’t the same height as you or shorter. Paige walks in and closes the door behind her, she climbs on the bed and straddles your hips her hands massaging your back. You turn your head and look at her “I’m sorry for slamming the door” you apologize. Paige shrugs “Baby I don’t care KK is out there telling the live to leave you alone” your girlfriends hands move up to your shoulders.

“Yeah it’s just annoying they point out I’m short for everything I do like it’s not the only thing about me” Paige nods at your words and flips you over so your lying on your back. She kisses you all over your face, you scrunch your nose and grab her cheeks pulling her off of your face “Your so pretty Paigey” the taller girl groans dropping her head into your neck.

“You know I love how your short right? I love how you only reach my chest when I hug you. How I can look over you when you’re standing in front of me so I can protect you. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen you my shorty” Paige tells you her head leaving on top on your stomach. You blush and kiss her nose before getting up from the bed “I love you my shorty” she says from behind you teasing you. You look at her “I love you too now let’s go back to the living room I’m hungry” you walk back over to the rest of the girls and sit next to KK on the couch.

KK hands you some blueberry TruFru and you smile at her before looking at the live and sticking your tongue out. KK words her arm around your shoulders “Your my bestie westie pookie” you make a disgusting face at her words and try to move away from her but she doesn’t let you. You make a fake scared face “HELP ME FROM THIS GREMLIN” you scream as KK starts tickling you. Azzi grabs your legs and drags you off the couch. You glare at her and she raises her hands in a fake surrender “I saved you” she says shrugging. Narrowing your eyes at her Paige lifts you up picking you up bridle style and sitting down on the couch out of the camera frame.

You lay your head on her chest and look over at Azzi “I’m gonna get you back” you point at her. Aubrey laughs at you “Yeah like you could lift more than twenty pounds” she says your head lifting at this.

“I might be short but I’m strong too” you say getting up. Paige nods and points at you “I have taught her well she is strong not as strong as me but she got little muscles” your girl backs you up. KK stands up and moves the camera so it’s facing you both. You look up at KK confused “Pick me up if your so strong tiny” the player says.

Paige nods “I bet twenty bucks that my girl can pick KK up” she says. Aubrey shakes her head “I bet twenty she can’t” the two girls shake in it before watching you and KK.

You bend your knees and wrap your arms around KK’s thighs. Paige smirks at you “Yeah baby just like that use your knees mama” she cheers you on. You pick KK and she squeals and grabs your shoulders shaking her no over and over “PUT ME DOWN YOU SMURF DOWN DOWN” she yells. You laugh and let her go before flexing at the live showing your small muscles “Told yall I got it like that” you smile and go back over to Paige.

She grabs your hand and you both go back to her room since it is around one in the morning. You lay down on her bed and Paige shuts the lights off and pulls you into her, spooning you. She kisses your neck “I knew you were strong baby. My little shorty” you turn your head to face her moving your body around “I’m your shorty but you’re my tall sexy girlfriend” you kiss her and she kisses back sliding her tongue in your mouth. You pull away and she smiles pulling you down into her chest “Go to sleep baby” Paige starts playing with your hair. Before you both slowly fall asleep you in her arms just how she likes it. Her shorty.

Please send requests and ideas

Also 2 story’s in one day WOW

[mythicmanuscripts]

Had another Aegon thought that definitely falls under himbo!Aegon/sub!Aegon in which his wife runs everything and being sexy while doing it. Basically they'd been promised to betrothed when they were younger but reader being from a different house thought it best to try and learn High Valyrian to be better suited. But upon finding out Aegon doesn't speak it she keeps it hidden but uses it to defend Aegon whenever Aemond tries to offend him. Just imagine she's sat besides Aegon when Aemond has his whole speech in High Valyrian knowing Aegon can't understand or respond, to suddenly have the biting words of his queen come to his defense having never heard her speak it before.

Man would be looking at her believing she was secretly some goddess or smth!

God I love himbo!aegon so much!! I’m gonna make it a tag just so we can group it all together.

I started out fully intended to keep this SFW and well, I had to put a cut in by the end so we all know how that turned out….

So firstly, I’ve never thought of this before but now that I have I can’t stop: I think Aegon would absolutely have a competency kink? Any time he sees you just completely in your element and doing anything that he doesn’t know how to… he just goes full empty no thoughts only pretty wife.

It’s an interesting development because he’d hate it if it were anyone else. Normally people being so good at things he can’t even grasp leaves him feeling insecure, stupid and inadequate to be king. But with you it’s completely different? With you he just stares in awe and then promptly gets very very turned on cause pretty wife!!! Pretty wife is so smart and talented and he is merely her little gremlin that follows her around asking for attention. He loves it so so much.

(Picturing a scene where Allicent is telling him off and trying to say he lets his wife run everything and he’s no real king but instead of him getting insecure and ashamed and doing whatever Allicent says, he instead just goes “yeah! Yeah she does! It’s great!”)

He loses his little mind every time he sees just how smart and good at politics you are? He hears you saying the perfect things and controlling the situation perfectly and then the next time you’re alone you even tell him what to do next time and just… no more thoughts. None whatsoever his wife is too smart and pretty for him to have thoughts. She is a beautiful powerful queen and he is merely a horny little jester.

You don’t tell him about trying to learn Valyrian mostly because you know it’s a bit of a sore spot for him? He genuinely has tried to hard to learn it, but it’s like his brain just wasn’t made for it. So you keep your lessons to yourself, and decide to worry about how to tell him at a later date when you’re fluent.

The problem, however is that even after you become fluent you still don’t know how to tell aegon without upsetting him. Sure he’s happy to have you make pretty much all decisions, but language skills or lack there of will always be a sore spot for him.

So for the next few weeks you spend most of your time trying to come up the best way to tell him.

When you walk into that small council meeting later that week,’you had absolutely no intention to reveal it there but then Aemond decided to be Aemond. You can understand every insult he hurls at his brother and you know aegon doesn’t understand.

What really makes your resolve break was when you looked over at Aegon and he was just sitting at the head of the table staring down. You can tell just from his body language that he’s trying not to cry and you know it’s not because of the insults themselves but because he actually can’t understand them and he feels so stupid.

You can’t take seeing that and so you fire back at Aemond, speaking to him in Valyrian. The look on his face when he realised that you understood every word he just said was incredible.

Aegon, meanwhile, is utterly astonished and just staring at you with shock and happiness plastered on his face.

He obviously doesn’t understand what either of you are saying, but Aegon knows you so well and he can tell by the tone of your that you’re defending him.

The moment the council meeting is over Aegon runs to put out a pillow down on the floor and kneel there, asking you about how long you’ve been studying been studying it and why. When you tell him you learnt it because knew he struggles with it and you wanted him to have someone he can ask to translate and speak for him without worrying of being misrepresented or misled.

Needless to say, Aegon burst into tears after that because it is quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him. You end up having to pull him up and into your lap because he was literally just sobbing while kneeling on the floor and you won’t allow that for your good boy.

You end up giving handjob while he’s on your laps and you make sure to tell him he’s doing so well and you love him very much.

All of this is to say when you fired back at Aemond in Valyria Aegon has never been more turned on in his life and he is once again reminded how utterly incredible his wife is.

Also, now you can help him with it!! Aegon stopped his Valyrian lessons a long time ago because he just couldn’t get it quite right and all the teachers were just so patronising and made him feel horrible, but now you can teach him!! He doesn’t feel stupid at all when you tell him he’s gotten something wrong and correct him and he also feels so so good when he gets something right.

And honestly, even if he does get much better at Valyrian he’d still rather have you translate for him because then he gets to hear you speak Valyrian.

[yumeka-sxf]

I'm finally home from my vacation and able to discuss the latest SxF chapter...all I can say is, I have a lot to say! I'll start with funny stuff first before I move on to analyzing...

Anya was especially hilarious in this chapter - where do I even start with her gremlin-ness? 😂 First off, there's her calling the butlers "henchlings' henchlings" (in the Japanese version, I believe she's using some mispronunciation of 弟子, which means "follower")

Then she calls out Twilight for being, well, Twilight, even giving his behavior its own acronym 🤣

She feels bad for George because his family isn't important enough for Twilight's aforementioned Twilighting 😅

And this doozy of a nickname for Bill!

In the Japanese version, she calls him something like "old man bully who hits people with balls" 😆

But joking aside, we get these profound words from Jeeves that seem to resonate with Twilight.

His words remind Twilight of the hypocrisy of his position: on the one hand, he agrees with Jeeves and wants the children to be able to grow up as they wish, without being burdened by the expectations of their parents. But that's exactly what he's been corralling Anya towards this whole time...doing whatever's best for Operation Strix, regardless of what may be best for her.

This scene reminded me of his musings when they first took Bond to the dog park; another case where he's aware that the morals he believes in are the opposite of his actions and yet...he continues with the mission.

I also think it's great that the other parents thank Anya for her bravery during the bus hijacking. Even if their kids don't act grateful, the parents should be on their behalf. Perhaps seeing this praise for Anya right before his eyes is what made Twilight feel even more guilt upon hearing Jeeves' words - he's seeing more and more what an exceptional girl she is despite not having the perfect traits for his mission, and yet he's still manipulating her (not realizing she's aware of the mission and wants to help).

But on that note, it's nice to see that George's dad and Becky's mom somewhat agree with Jeeves. As of now, I'd say out of all the Eden kids we've gotten to know, George and Becky seem to have the most decent families. I especially like how Becky's dad is adorably doting, to the point where he gets crushed when Becky asks Yor for help instead of him 😅 Also Martha having to reel him in, lol.

But despite being an overbearing dad, at least he isn't quick to jump on Loid supposedly "seducing" Becky 😂 He seems to not take it seriously, which is good since Becky is the one making the moves with her silly little girl crush.

Also Emile thinking Yor is pretty~ I'm surprised he had something nice to say about anyone connected to Anya, lol. I really want a chapter where Yor takes all the Eden kids on a playdate and they start thinking she's awesome like Becky does, even Damian.

Speaking of Yor, just when I thought she would be demoted to "background character" for whatever arc is coming, the last few panels give the impression that she'll have her next moment in the spotlight soon! Is she just destined to always catch Melinda when she falls? 😅

Not only are we getting more Yor/Melinda interactions next time, but also (hopefully) more of Anya reading Melinda's mind. I know there's theories floating around of how Donovan may be able to read minds and is possibly the one behind the experiments done on Anya, and that Melinda may have some psychic abilities too. Also some relation to that Arnold Crowley character introduced several chapters ago. I'm not good at theorizing, so I'll leave it to fans who are better with that kind of stuff 😅 But I think they're all good theories and I'm keeping my fingers crossed we'll get more insight into Desmond secrets very soon!

...but unfortunately the next new chapter won't be until November 25th, so we'll have to be satisfied with theories for now!

[reiderwriter]

Okay, I just wanted to start off and say I love your stories. They're always so good. You've reblogged one of my stories a while, and I actually squealed and scared the crap out of my friend. But yeah, I live you and your stories 💖💖💖

So I read your one story of Spencer being a soon-to-be dad, and I really like the idea of seeing Spencer and reader as actual parents just feeling the emotions. I thought something based around their daughter (because Spencer's a girl dad) hitting a milestone like walking, talking, or something even bigger like the first day of school. I don't know if that makes sense, but either way, I hope you like it!

A/N: I love the idea of new-dad Spencer. He deserves a loving family and a baby so much 😭 I combined this request with one of the prompts for @imagining-in-the-margins Kid Fic challenge which you can find the details for here! ❤️

Warnings: none, just fluff.

Masterlist

You never thought leaving to go for a spa day would be one of the hardest things you'd have to do in your life, but here you were. 

In the ten months since you'd given birth to your daughter, you'd been stressed, lacking in sleep, leaking fluids from places that you forgot could have fluids leak from, and you'd been totally, irreversibly, head over heels in love. 

Both with the tiny little gremlin you'd given birth to, and with the man that you watched become a father. 

Spencer Reid was a great dad. 

He'd had a fair amount of anxiety leading up to the birth, worrying about every detail, talking to geneticists, driving you to and from each check up or attending via video call if he was on a case. After she was born, he helped out as best he could. 

For a man who had delivered a baby before and was absolutely great with his teammates' kids, he couldn't hold her for the first week without an intense look of panic crossing his features.

“Y/N, what happens if I drop her?” 

“Y/N, she sneezed. What if I got her sick?”

“Y/N, she fell asleep, I can't move.” 

A genius with an IQ of 187 slashed to 60 in front of a pretty girl. His tiny daughter had him thrown through a loop he got seriously stuck in. 

He was still helpful, and he got used to all his new duties and tasks within a week, but watching those cute clueless expressions pass over his face now and then endeared you to him that much more. 

He knew everything, but he had to learn this right there with you. 

So yes, leaving for a relaxing spa visit was hard. 

Spencer had been on a case for the last four days, his first since your daughter had arrived and the official end to his paternity leave. You'd been happy to see him get back to it, in all honesty. Spencer’s job, his research, and his work at the FBI were like muscles he needed to stretch. It wasn't that he couldn't live without them, but there would always be a part of him that felt stiff or unsure of himself without the possibilities of a case to unravel or some theorizing to do. 

You were slightly panicked at the thought of being alone with your daughter for four days, but you managed. With a phone call home every single night where he asked you about every single thing your little bundle of joy had done outside of his watchful gaze. 

Now, it was your turn. 

Spencer had insisted on it upon returning from his case. He got four nights of relative peace after 20 months of waking up with the baby, sleeping with the baby, napping when the baby napped, carrying the baby around when it became evident that she was desperately scared of not being the center of attention. 

He came back with a spring in his step, and the deep desire to see you get a solid night's rest the way he'd been able to. 

You'd tried shooting him down, multiple times, to no reward. 

“Spencer, you didn't exactly just up and go off gallivanting. You were working.”

“I was working, and I still got more rest than you. I really needed that sleep and time away, Y/N, and I think you do, too. Now, please, go away,” he'd pulled you into his arms when you'd put the baby down that night to reveal his brilliant plans. 

“Just for the night. Go away for a lovely overnight break. Not indefinitely. I love you.” His panicked confession at the end sent you into giggles, that with a few well times kisses had you reluctantly agreeing to the girls trip he'd planned you. 

The BAU girls had been roped into accompanying you on the trip, which honestly meant that he'd be getting status updates any time he asked for one. 

JJ, Penelope, Emily, and Tara were all going to strong arm you into the car if need be to carry you off to the nearest 5(ish) star Hotel and Spa. 

And that's exactly what happened. 

The man had even packed the bag for you to send you off, had made you breakfast in bed and had run to every sound your daughter had made from dusk until dawn so you didn't have to lift a finger. 

“Y/N, you're resting today.”

“But-” 

“No. No buts. Just rest.”

“At least let me hold her for a second to say goodbye.” He blinked at you for a few seconds before his stubbornly helpful face turned softer, and he quickly handed your daughter back for a small cuddle. 

With a lingering hug, you told your daughter - who absolutely did not care one bit that you would be wandering out of the house soon enough - that you'd be back in the morning, kissed your husband on the lips, and were swiftly kidnapped by JJ and Emily. 

To your credit, you lasted two whole hours before breaking down. 

The drive to the hotel was quick and peaceful, and it felt nice to breathe in the fresh air without having to also check for various baby smells. 

You checked in fast, and all gathered in the in-hotel restaurant for brunch and mimosas, and then it hit you. Another mother walked in with a stroller, and you were blubbering. 

Your bottom lip wobbled, and the rest of the world ceased to exist as you gave in to the emotions. 

You knew, of course, that you were going to have to leave your daughter at some point. It wasn't healthy for either of you to have attachment issues, and you didn't want to hinder your daughters development by sticking too close - but that didn't mean you didn't miss her. 

JJ noticed your watery eyes first. “Oh no, I know that look,” she smiled over her drink, taking a sip. 

“What? What look?” You said, but giving yourself massively away with a good sniff and watery blink. 

“You lasted longer than I did. I couldn't go half an hour without turning my car around and heading back to Henry, and I swear it was only worse with Michael.” 

You giggled a bit as you wiped your eyes. 

“Do you think… do you think we could go back? Just for a little bit. I just want to check on them.”

The women passed a look between them and then nodded back at you, obviously having expected this. 

“Actually, we didn't book any spa treatments until the afternoon. We had a feeling something like this would happen,” Tara smiled at you, and you snorted in surprise as you dabbed away your tears with a handkerchief. 

“We are laying some ground rules though,” Emily said, a stern tone fighting the playful smile on her face. 

“We can peak through a window, but we're not going in. And we're not going to call ahead and let Spencer know. The kid needs to know you feel confident in his parenting skills, and if he's just got the baby settled and you come back in, it won't be easy to calm her down again.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” you said, but you were already halfway to the car by the time you could finish the sentence. 

The girls pulled up a block away and let you walk calmly back to your front door. 

You'd since agreed to a time limit and not to unlock the door. Emily went ahead to scope out the house, communicating with JJ on the phone who was holding your hand to stop you from wringing them. 

You'd never been a part of the BAU, but somehow you felt like a team member on a case getting ready to stake out a target. 

When Emily gave you the signal, the rest of the girls gave you space, and you ducked down to peer into your ground floor window. 

Spencer was on his stomach with your daughter, and they were having what seemed like a riveting conversation. 

“And so then I obviously got tongue-tied. Like I said, Daddy isn't good at talking to people, let alone beautiful women like Mommy.” 

“Be be be da.”

“Exactly. I really embarrassed myself, actually. I went up to her and said ‘do you have a number?’ and she was so confused.”

“Ba!” 

“Yeah, she sounded like that, too. I kept talking more and more, and she couldn't understand what I meant. She thought I was asking about her age at one point. I was just getting redder and redder, and then she grabbed my hand and led me to a seat at the back of the bookshop because she thought I was sick.”

He smiled down at the infant again, still babbling to herself.

“I was sick, of course, but it was just love sickness. I still am.” 

The tears that you'd delicately wiped away earlier came back hot and heavy now as you resisted the urge to crawl through the window to your precious family. 

Spencer was telling your daughter the story of how he first asked you out, near disastrously, and from the sounds of it, he wasn't done telling stories. 

“I really love your Mommy, you know. She's wonderful.”

“Mmmm,”

“See, you think so too. Everyone thinks so.” 

“Mmmma” 

“Yes, your Mama. You’re just like her, everyone loves you, too.” 

“Mama.”

You heard Spencer's breath hitch as you closed a hand over your mouth to stop a shocked squeal from coming out. 

“T-That's right. Mama. One more time, say mama.”

“Mama,” the little baby squealed in delight, reacting to her fathers utter joy. 

“You're speaking. One more time, Mama.”

“Mama!” 

“Your mama is going to be so mad,” Spencer whispered, grabbing his daughter up in one more careful hug and kissing her face as she giggled delightfully. “We need to keep this a secret. Tomorrow, you'll have you say your first word in front of her, and we'll both act surprised, okay? Promise?”

The gargle he got in response was enough to have your shoulders shaking as the others extricated you from your own front lawn. 

Back in the car, you broke down into giggles and tears, shoulders rising and falling in sobs and laughter intermittently. 

“Is this a total psychotic break or just a symptom of seeing Spencer as a dad?” Penelope asked, nudging you with her elbow as you tried to regain your composure.

“It's… whew, it's okay. We can go back now.” 

“You sure?” JJ asked from the driver's seat, and you nodded once again.

“Yeah. I'm fine now. I'm really good.” 

The women all offered you similar smiles as you drove away, blissful and content. 

[johnwickb1tsch]

Yandere Tex Johnson x Witness!Reader x John Wick Imagine WIP Part 8

After 450 comments on the last section 🤣 its time for a new one. U guyz are gremlins!😆👏👏 @treedaddymcpuffpuff @tammykelly @sweetwolfcupcake @lilspookymeh

-------

"Come on, we've got to get you somewhere safe," says John Wick, trying to hustle you down the street.

"No," you protest, resisting. "We have to find John and Tex. They might need us."

You were skeptical about demons and the occult, God and the Devil and everything in between, at first. But after hanging out with Constantine, you'd seen a few things. Just enough that you had sense enough to be scared. You clutch the protection amulet around your neck that John had given you. You'd laughed at him at the time, but now you were glad to have it.

"They're both grown men, honey. I told Tex to leave you alone. This is what he gets."

Suddenly you're angry all over again. "Oh, you told him, huh?" You push John's chest--its like having a disagreement with a brick wall. "Do you have any fucking idea how much I've missed you? How it destroyed me to be thrown away like an old shirt you had no more use for?"

He is still as a mountain as he holds your wrists, preventing you from striking him, but not hurting you. Those dark eyes bore into you, through you. How does he not see you? "Y/n...I did what I thought was best for you."

"But you didn't fucking ask me! Or at least, you didn't listen! But you know what, it doesn't matter right now. John had to put some kind of a curse on Tex in self defense, because Tex is such an asshole, and now they're both in danger!"

"A what?"

You pause to think, and you're pretty sure you know where Constantine would go. There's an old church a few blocks over. Consecrated ground. It's where he's always told you to go if something came after you. It would be a good place to regroup.

"Come on," you say, pulling John in the opposite direction down the street.

For once, he actually listens, a shadow at your back ready to protect you, but he lets you lead the way.

--------------

The old building looks like it should probably be condemned. It's definitely seen better days, and hasn't seen a congregation in at least a decade. However, the ground is still holy, untouchable for the Unclean, and when you burst through the doors after John has already shot down three demons, you are so relieved to see Constantine and Tex sitting in some of the old pews. They definitely look like they've been through a battle, disheveled and beat up. You wonder how much was demons, and how much they did to each other.

"Thank God!" You run to them, and Tex's expression rises and falls as you go to Constantine, pressing your mouth to his in what you know is a needy kiss, assuring yourself as much as him.

He smirks down at you, well aware of the death- stares he's receiving from both sides. It's possible he makes a show of grabbing your ass, just to rub it in to your two Ghosts.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. You?"

You nod. Then Constantine rolls his eyes upward, over your head to John Wick. He is quietly forbidding in his black suit, standing watch by the door. "That your other Ghost?"

With a tired sigh you nod.

"Ghosts? The fuck is Harry Potter here talkin' about?"

The urge to punch Tex or kiss him is strong as ever.

"The two of you ghosted me, didn't you?"

"Baby girl, I missed you. That's why I came to get you." He shoots a telling glare over at John Wick, who only returns a disinterested look. Maybe the master assassin had been keeping tabs on you, but he hadn't shared everything with Tex, it seems.

Constantine looks between the two assassins, then you, with an infuriating smirk.

"What?" you demand, more than a little exasperated with everthing.

"Nothing. Just seems like you have a type, angel."

You can't even argue.

"Angel?" Tex snorts at your pet name. "Does he even know you?"

"Does he ever shut up?" asks Constantine, raising one dark eyebrow.

"No, never," you sigh.

There is a howl outside that lifts every hair on your body, an unearthly sound that makes your fingers grip in Constantine's suit jacket.

"What are we going to do?"

"Good question." Constantine tugs you over to a different pew, sitting down with his arm draped around your shoulders. His message is obvious, and it's new to you. Constantine rocks your world on the nightly, but he's never been possessive before. It really shouldn't, but it ignites a warmth in your chest that makes you feel ridiculously, stupidly, giddy inside.

"Seems like we're at an impasse, gentlemen."

Tex frowns. John seems less than impressed.

"Sorry, what's stopping us from killing you and taking her?"

You tense, watching the gun John holds loosely at his side. You know Wick can move like lightning, and your heart leaps into your throat. You are ready to fling yourself between them if you have to.

"John..."

"It's ok, sweetheart. He's not going to kill me."

"No offense, but I've heard that before from lots of people who are dead now."

Constantine snorts. "You can't kill me, because I've put a curse on your friend here, and you need me to lift it."

"So lift it."

"Can't. Got a friend who can though. You'll never see him without me."

You know Constantine must be talking about the famed and powerful bokor, Papa Midnite. A chill runs down your spine. You've met him precisely once. He was polite--and hot as fuck, if you're being honest--but you knew he was not to be trifled with.

"So let's go, then," says Tex, his patience lost about three dead demons ago.

"Hold up, Howdy Doody. We got to talk first."

"Bout?"

Constantine nods down at you. "Maybe I don't know all the details, but I've heard enough. And as much as I've enjoyed filling the hole you assholes left--I can't let you hurt her again. I'll let the demons feast on your souls first."

Almost on cue, that demonic howling sounds again outside, and a chorus of hellish hissing rises. It sounds like you are surrounded.

Tex leaps to his feet. "You smug little fucker--"

"Shut up, Tex." It's Wick who shushes his friend. "What do you propose?"

Finally, Constantine looks down at you. "It depends on what she wants."

Your mouth drops open at that. You have to decide that, now? As though he can read your thoughts, and sometimes you're convinced he can, Constantine pays you an infuriating smirk.

"I...don't want them dead. Or...devoured."

"That's a start, I guess. Do you ever want to be with them again?"

Your eyes go wide as saucers. The simple answer, of course, is yes. You love them. You miss them.

However, answers are never so simple, with your Boys involved. Like an idiot, you dare to look at them, taking in Tex's hang-dog puppy-eyed look, and John's quiet but intense yearning. Then, of course, there is the man beside you, who despite his aloofness and his prickly manner, has been nothing but good to you.

You've never said it out loud, but the truth is, you love him too.

"I don't know."

"Yeah. I figured." He smirks at you, inexplicably smug, and you kind of want to smack him too.

Which always leads to interesting things, with John Constantine, your stupid lady parts sing out. Jesus Christ on a cracker, what a fucking mess.

"You got a point, Gandalf?" demands Tex, paying a nervous look to one of the cracked stained glass windows. Ominous dark shapes are flying past outside. This is not good.

"I want you assholes to accept a Spell of Submission to her."

"The fuck does that mean?" demands Tex with a thunderous frown. John remains neutral as he listens.

"It means, if you ever try to make her do something she really doesn't want to do, again, she can say the magic words to fuck up your world. Pardner."

"No fuckin' way," Tex scoffs.

At the same time, John answers, "I'll do it."

Your eyes meet across the aisle of the church. That he would take such a leap of faith-- for you-- drops the floor out from under you.

Tex, of course, interrupts your moment of soul- searching eye contact with John.

"Wait, so we could be havin' an argument and she can drop me dead with the evil eye or somethin'?"

Constantine snorts. "It would probably serve you right, Hee Haw, but no. Cause you extreme pain? Yes. But it comes at a price. All magic does. I know she wouldn't use it lightly."

It would potentially even the playing field quite a bit between you three. The balance of power amongst you had never been fair.

"What's a matter, Tex? You don't trust me?"

"Only as far a I could throw you, darlin'." But his hawk-like look softens for you after a moment, and then surprisingly he grins. "Got me over a barrel now, don't you?"

You shift a little in your seat, so that you're flush against Constantine. The solid line of his lithe warmth beside you is anchoring. You glance up at him, finding he looks arrogantly amused-- and surprisingly, a little sad. If you didn't know him so well you would have missed it, like ripples in a pool.

You turn back to Tex, an uneasy excitement thrumming in your chest.

"If the curse fits?"

The cowboy sighs, frowning at the hellspawn waiting to rend his flesh and eat his soul outside. "Alright, fine. Guess you might as well take it all." He can't look at you while he says it, but you sense his surrender-- or at least, his resignation. It's not exactly a victory, but it's something, and it pulls at your heartstrings.

"Alright, wizard boy. Hoodoo me up."

Constantine snorts, leaping up from the bench. "First we've got to get out of here. You're going to want to cover your eyes." He starts muttering an encantation and walking in a circle, sprinkling a powder on the ground from his pocket. "When this goes off we'll have ten minutes. Either of you assholes have a car nearby?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Hope you like to drive fast."

His chanting gets louder, and you see he's produced a lighter. He never uses it for cigarettes anymore, but portable fire to a magician has its uses. You can tell he's reaching the crescendo of his spell, and you scrunch your eyes closed. Even through your eyelids you see the flash, and the boom of a magical fireball that should have burned you all to dust.

However, only the things outside incinerate, their agonized cries echoing through the cavernous stone building.

"Let's move."

--------

Hope I set this up for Midnite's club and whatever shenanigans u guys want to get up to 😆 Enjoy! @sweetwolfcupcake @treedaddymcpuffpuff @tammykelly

[ivys-garden]

Life Series Session Recap and Alliance Analysis

Pearl opens her episode clarifying she and Impulse did nothing wrong. Finally I don't have to write “get over double life, tumblr” every week.

Yes, another Saturday means another instalment of the Life Series. This session was far more chill and slow paced than last weeks, ironic considering that this week's Wild Card was a perpetual speed increase! Going from a complete time freeze to full hyperspeed. Naturally, this led to about a 7.5 on the madness scale, so let's see what those teams were up to.

The Final Girls - (Scott, Cleo, Pearl, Impulse & Bigb (not anymore ;3 ))

On the topic of Pearl and Impulse, Cleo decides that they will fully enable all of they're future actions. Yes, she might sigh when they talk about all the evil stuff they're going to do, but she's fully on board.

Right about now Scott is probably regretting being team mum for three chaos gremlins as he's already had to instruct them not to give Gem any more reasons to kill them & had to break up the fight that was issued once they all went Matrix mode.

Speaking of Gem & Joel, a new development in the great drama sees Impulse explain himself and apologise to Gem. She doesn't buy it but it's the thought that counts. During this apology Pearl, the attack dog, is ordered by Gem and Impulse to slaughter grian. So while Cleo and Scott go off to make friends, Impulse and Pearl pop over to Rens for some very serious murder discussion, with an eventual “let's murder Grian” party forming consisting of Pearl, Impulse, Ren, Martyn, Bigb, Scar & Jimmy. If even a fraction of these people stick to this next session Grian is pretty firmly doomed.

In other news Scott manages to make allies with the Bamboozelers through several means, including staring at Jimmy's ass. Cleo & Impulse have a little caving adventure and Impy manages to make a working Creeper farm that they may or may not be sharing with Renwood. This leaves Pearl once again building the tower, which is good since she has arguably to much experience in that

While building the tower we get more Drama! Grian and Mumbo managed to get a quick kill on Scott early on the session by digging a big pit under the tower and spleefing him in. Mumbo and Skizz later come back to this trap only to be discovered by Pearl. The Suits try to get her to lure Scott over, but Pearl is far to loyal for that…. But not loyal enough to kick them out, reasoning that it would be really funny if it happened twice. On top of this she negotiated the ability to kill grian without them stepping in, very useful given her current plans & the second spleefing doesn't work anyways, so no harm no foul.

No one would actually agree to luring their team to their Death intentionally… right Bigb?

I'd say I'm surprised, but I'm not. He's worked again every team he's been in except Nosey Neighbours. I guess the “B” must stand for “Betrayal”

Bigb pulls the same thing Pearl did only not under the pretence of a joke, when Grian is around to actually make sure his team gets the kill, actually agreeing to lure Scott and doing it INFRONT OF CLEO. This being the second time this has helped to them, Cleo immediately goes off to find Scott to warn him about the traitor…Scott still falls into the trap anyway but that was a skill issue on his part. Bigb actually tries later to gaslight Scott into thinking that he didn't mean to betray the team, which almost worked until he started saying Cleo was the traitor, which obviously Scott would never buy. Oh he also did this in earshot of Cleo so she set her attack dog (Pearl) on him.

Bigb also later betrays the “Let's Kill Grian Gang” and warns Grian about the plan to murderficate him. I guess someone hasn't gotten over Double Life after all.

The Fast And The Furious - (Joel & Gem)

Actually, the fast and the paranoid might be more accurate as while Joel is just off having a grand old time prattling speed bridging, Gem is terrified that everyone is out to get her and doesn't seem to understand that putting your base on the main path means more people will come visit.

Aside from sending everyone they can to kill Grian and disregarding Impulses genuine apology, the team due doesn't really do much themselves

Gem was officially the last person to lose a life though, with no less than 4 people, including 2 greens, having to help kill her.

Also Joel added racing stripes to the car and… it actually made it a lot less hideous, well done Joel.

The Bamboozelers - (Jimmy, Scar & Lizzie)

Jimmy has regained the title as most confident member of this team…scarily confident in fact, just this session he was able to steal a potential kill from Skizz & kill his teammates, get another good kill on Joel using Lizzie as bait, managing to turn his relationship with Joel around to become allies and reaffirming his alliance with Renwood. Honesty 100 IQ plays from Tim all around.

He did die once this session, but that wasn't his fault and was also incredibly funny to watch Martyn bimbo his way through traps made for Bigb and accidentally kill Timmy. Great job everyone.

Speaking of failed traps… oh Scar… he started of strong, absolutely annihilating Etho in slow motion and living up to the villain he shares a name with by tossing him off a cliff, but after that every single attempt to trap someone fails miserably and he's forced into a cheap kill on Grian that results in him calling for vengeance… wouldn't be to worried about that tho considering Skizz and Mumbo's track record.

The Spanners - (Mumbo, Skizz & Grian)

How are these idiots not dead yet.

They get one (1) successful kill this session, spleefin’ Scott. A trap Mumbo tries his luck with several times after this despite knowing the Final Girls already knew about it.

Skizz gets no kills despite Grians efforts. An attempt to build a super TNT minecart launcher is made… on Scars mountain… and Grian spends several.minutes explaining to his worst enemies how the trap works… and then he and Mumbo stand directly under where they know the TNT will land. Yeah obviously Jimmy sneaks in and pulls the lever to kill them.

A second attempt to launch TNT is made, but this launcher is pathetic and ends up being turned into a party game. oh, and then Grian gets hotguyed by Scar. Grian immediately screams vengeance and blows up the reputation board, ranting about how little it meant since he was in good favour… which only proved he never read the damn thing but it's the thought that counts.

In their last hoorah for this session the team goes on a proper hunt The Bamboozelers as they hide in Joel's car. Mumbo sneaks up to pure lava on them… and burns himself to death. He then tries to hypersonic pvp Gem and you can guess how that went. He then joins in trapping Gwm in a big hole and burning her, only for the kill to go to Ren anyway.

These guys are Doomed. Especially because Final Girls & The Family are allied with Scar & The fact that Renwood actively wants to murder them.

Predictions: Grian goes Yellow next session, Mumbo goes out-out and Skizz is somehow still Red.

Renwood - (Ren & Martyn)

We actually covered everything these guys did already, The Grian Murder Crew, Martyn being a trap bimbo, Ren allying with Impulse to make up for beheading him, really the only thing we haven't discussed is Martyns strange choice to make the first 5 minutes of his episode unlistenable

The Tuff Guys - (Etho, Tango & Bdubs

Etho finally admits they're the comic relief. Like any good comic relief, these three stooges spend the entire session failing at everything. Tango fails on the same trap 3 times. Bdubs almost kills himself in said trap. There's more fights and bickerings than you could count on 15 hands and a toe

Oh also Tango also perma-died to Pearl after going invis and being pumped full of arrows.

Honestly it's not a question of if someone dies next session, it's a question of who.

[cupids-chamber]

♡. WHEN CROWLEY DECIDES that the boy's need a dosage of learning to prepare for the 'future' and sets everyone up in pairs to take care of a fake baby that mimics a real one. @ ; Gender neutral reader / Crack (In some parts) / Fluff ## heartslabyul + pomefiore + octavinelle / scarabia + savanaclaw + diasomnia

. ACE TRAPPOLA ; “Why does this gremlin look like us?” he asks nonchalantly, waving his hands towards the baby. The child looked way too real to be fake, though Crowley had informed everyone beforehand that the child was in fact fake, and was made to take after its caretakers.. They seemed real.. And you wouldn’t put it past Crowley to kidnap a couple thousand kids, I mean he technically did the same to you.. So it can’t be that uncommon.. Plus it would save him some cash if he actually did that. 

The baby was asleep when it first came into your possession. You swear you saw Ace lose his sanity a tad bit when it first cried, that should have been a red flag.. Alongside his literal meltdown when he was confused as to what he should do, you watched and humored his worries, by putting needless concern and teasing him. You swear you saw him take a breath of pure relief when the child stopped crying and began drinking its milk. 

The child indefinitely had insomnia because it just wouldn’t fucking let you two sleep.. At all.. Ace wanted to commit a crime, he thought it would be peaceful having a month off classes.. And since the child was fake it would all end well, Right? Wrong. The baby was artificially designed to look exactly like the two of you, which was bad because you couldn’t help but grow attached to it.. And that wasn’t the worst part, It acted like a real child.. and functioned like one too. You were now 99% sure Crowley kidnapped a bunch of orphaned newborns and put a sort of disguise spell on it.

The two of you even named the kid.. Well Ace just continued to call it a little gremlin, and you ended up joining him. It was much easier, and well.. The child was a gremlin.. The child was growing fast, and it was torture. It would pull your hair, tamper with Ace’s make-up. Fuck with your supplies and tools, and was genuine hell to work with. But that’s not to say the child was all bad, it was cute. And the three of you grew quite close together. 

When it was time for your Little gremlin to go, the two of you were completely heartbroken. Over the past month, the two of you grew closer together as a pair, hell Ace even confessed. It was sweet, and now you little gremlin had to leave you both. “WE’LL MISS YOU” you yelled as Crowley took the kid away from you both, sure Crowley was an excellent matchmaker for the two of you but what the fuck?!?

. DEUCE SPADE ; Deuce grew up with care and was surprisingly well trained in the art of taking care of a child, the moment the baby was given to you, it started crying. Yet Deice was fully prepared for this event in advance, it was actually a rather adorable sight. However, you didn't get to view the full scene, as Deuce ushered you away to get your supplies for the baby. 

You heard that the Child was supposedly supposed to take after the two of you, yet a part of you doubted the fact but when Deuce pointed out the similarities you began taking notice of it as well.

Was Deuce an expert child specialist, you weren’t quite sure… But he was exceptionally good at taking care of the little demon that was now in both of your possession. The first few hours went by pretty fine, since Deuce was quite skilled in taking care of children.. You were actually quite shocked when he asked you for help, but the scene was worth it. 

The three of you would play together, go on picnics, and do a bunch more fun stuff; which led to the three of you quickly growing attached together, he even gave the little demon with legs a name. Everything about this experience was fun and enjoyable, and you couldn’t help but grow used to it. Though it was quite odd, the little demon seemed to have quite a lot of patience for a child, you don’t think that was normal. You even asked Deuce about it; he then explained to you how throughout his earlier years, he had been a remarkably calm child to deal with..

When it came time for the two of you to give up your precious child, you swore you could see Deuce shed a tear. And you were quite sure that Crowley purposefully, meticulously planned this event; since he handled taking your demon away from you and turning the device off, much slowly, then the others. 

. RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS ; Riddle was not ready for this— One normal school day with peace dear heavens.. Mercy on his soul. (Something yuu should be saying but ok Riddle be dramatic mr mommy issues 🙄) Immediately hands the kid over to you, he does not trust himself. And that’s a lot coming out from Riddle the housewarden of Heartslabyul—Himself..

He’s trying.. He truly is.. He’s putting in his best effort.. But his mother didn’t raise him right and he sure as hell is worried that he’ll make a slight mistake in parenting.. Even if the ordeal is fake.. He is 100% inclined to pretend this is in fact real? Why because that monstrosity of a child looks like the both of you and takes after him mostly and that is creepily burdening, almost like Crowley planned this thoughtfully like a well planned, carefully coordinated villain but that cant be it because he slacks in every other fucking field there is. (And Riddle also wants an A) 

Ever had a nagging housewife of your own? No.. well be prepared to have one, because Riddle expects you to get off that high couch and get your fine ass down on the carpet, you both shall dedicate all your time to the baby that obviously took a lot out of him, like imagine waking up and getting handed your child first thing in the morning? Truly the gift of life is so unbearable. WHY ARE YOU STILL ON THE COUCH.

‘Y/n L/n if you do not come out of the goddamn bathroom and join us for this fucking playdate, I will destroy your fucking phone — sincerely Riddle’

Most definitely sends you paragraphs and paragraphs worth of texts and etc, starts acting like a nagging husband. You can’t even tell what's real or not anymore, bro you have to leave your friends with a “I gotta check on my wife” type of goodbye. (He’s not as controlling as he sounds I swear, you both are having fun but he can be.. extra.)

. TREY CLOVER ; Trey and you had actually recently started acting on both your feelings, not necessarily confessed but the two of you were definitely having this flirting session. Like edging into dating but you both haven’t really decided to make things official yet. And as of current times, Trey was giving you some freshly baked cookies catered to your tastes. He loves expressing his feelings through baked goods, giving you sweets, etc as a means to express himself.. And it was at this moment did Crowley end up announcing his stupid bogus plan and idea.. That he most definitely was serious about.

Trey had always given a responsible vibe to you, he just had this aura that radiated.. well.. you couldn't explain it. But you were quite sure that he'd be good with kids... and you were right. Though he did look kind of nervous and worried, he pulled through quite quickly though. He carried the child with shaky arms, and you could swear he was glaring daggers into Crowley. 

The entire class was filled with baby noises and a bunch load of struggling teenage men's voices. It was a funny sight to any normal civilian, and it would be to you too.. If you weren’t suffering the same fate as all the boys in the class. Trey thankfully got a clean pacifier and shut the thing up..

. CATER DIAMOND ; Cater was well.. Um shocked? Taken aback.. Conflicted.. It was hard to tell.. He seemed to have been going through what appears to be the five stages of literal grief in front of you as if it was normal. You were grateful Crowley handed the ‘thing’ to you and not Cater because you doubt in his state, he’d be able to carry the child let alone take care of it.

The three of you were in Cater’s room, and the child sucked on its pacifier as you sat on the edge of the bed; with the kid on your lap, witnessing Cater’s emotional breakdown live. 

“I’m not ready for kids.. I can’t even take care of myself.. nOw KiDs?!/1!/1/!?1//1//1/??!” he babbled on and on, with light curses, and more. 

You raised your hand and explained “Cater you do know.. That this is a project right?” 

“WHEN DID YOU TWO GET HERE?”

. EPEL FELMIER ; Surprisingly skilled in taking care of the little girl you both were given to by the demon that is Crowley, having mainly female figures in his life has presented Epel with outstanding qualities in taking care of children. It was a shocker really, how he was so considerate and able to tell what the child needed. Contrary to his act and front of being manly and his need to prove himself at any given moment, Epel could be so utterly soft and adorable when it came to children. It also didn’t help that the kid looked exactly like a mixture of you both. 

Epel actually shared multiple stories about his time back home, how some of his grandmother's friends would come over and let him babysit their nephews, children, or even grandchildren. They claimed that he had excellent skills when it came to taking care of children, they also teased him alot, claiming that he’d make a great husband in the future. (But he’ll leave that part out in the stories) 

The stories truly explained why he seemed to be so great at taking care of kids. He even taught you some tricks and tricks on how to calm down a kid, some things that maybe you didn’t even know— which made everything all the more interesting. 

“I say we name her Applejack”

“We changed her diaper—gave her food, hell we even read stories and played with her.. Why isn’t she sleeping!” you exclaimed, exceptionally tired as your 5am alarm to check on the baby went off. You sighed, leaning into the armchair on your third cup of coffee that night, this experience is making you dread the idea of kids as a whole.. Why were they so difficult? “Did you give her her pacifier? Also stop drinking coffee dear, have water instead” Epel hands you a cup of water, as you let out a dramatic sigh and then you went on to explain how she keeps on spitting out her pacifier. 

“Let me try; you go and get some rest… you could use it.. !”

. VIL SCHOENHEIT ; Vil Schoenheit was the partner that Crowley had chosen for you, for what reason.. you do not want to know. All you know is that Crewel was yelling at him afterwards, and you only presume he was against the idea just as much as you.. Vil was smart.. But god forbid you work in a group project with the housewarden of Pomefiore.. And unlike before.. This time it was only the two of you.. With an unknown third party who is a literal child. 

I mean— you predicted this much.. Vil had flawless skills in almost everything you’ve so far seen him doing.. Well except that tiny winy (penis) small little conflict with Neige. Thankfully, no problems have so far appeared (in deez nuts) while the two of you were parenting.. And raising.. This.. ‘thing’... you both didn’t name it, and Vil kept calling it little potato. 

You swear Vil was being ultra sus with his lowkey perfect parenting but then he truly came undone (do you get it.. But like… do you get it?) and you for realzies found him tot’s bragging and flexing to a very tired Epel and Rook about his kid. Which is lowkey for realzies not his kid, but you know.

. ROOK HUNT ; It was your first time witnessing Rook actually grow nervous, and at Crowley's announcement no less… Were you expecting anything out of the ordinary today? Not really.. But where Crowley exists there can never be peace. But it was slightly worth it though, watching Rook have an internal meltdown as he held the ‘fake’ child with care. 

It was hilarious, he was stunned, his month hung open and his face was basically a reenactment of: ‘0’, except he was sweating a shit ton as well.. “Rook, do you need me to take the child for now?” Rook immediately snapped out of his trance on queue as he turned away from you. 

Rook, despite being beyond confused and struggling a shit ton to present himself as a normal parent, refused to let you take any of the major workload. It was sweet, but on the first day you vividly remember wearing a suit and greeting the literal baby as if it was a job interview, like “Yes I’ve come to addition for the role of your father little fake ‘child’”

To be honest you weren't quite sure if you could trust him to be in charge of the child..

. AZUL ASHENGROTTO ; Crowley handed the little infant to Azul… Azul. He’s panicking, he’s nervous; his hands get sweaty and shaky, he’s not used to carrying children.. or more so babies.. even if they’re fake.. ‘It’ still behaves and acts like a child, and not to mention how it looks like the carbon copy of you two, is Crowley trying to traumatize the whole of NRC? ‘Well ‘it's’ quite adorable’. 

You quickly and carefully remove the child from Azuls arms, refusing to give it back to him till he’s completely calmed down, he seems rather… taken aback by the entire thing.. Which rightfully so, imagine your headmaster just randomly handing you a child which he claims is fake, that looks and behaves like your partner? It would’ve traumatized anyone really, you’ve just grown rather immune to Crowley’s bullshit. 

Azul was surprisingly good at taking care of the child when needed, he was well coordinated and thoughtful.. He was very responsible and quickly memorized the necessary rules and actions he must do as a child caretaker, you were quite weirded out by the sheer dedication he had.. But Azul is quite the overachiever so it came as no surprise to you. 

The three of you would huddle together and play games with the child in the evening and then read story books together at night, it was fun.. And you even enjoyed your time with the housewarden, his effort was well appreciated as he handled all your little sea shell’s temper tantrums and meltdowns well. You didn’t have to put much of an effort, really. But you did regardless, since.. Well, the child looked so like you it would be weird not too.. It just felt wrong. 

Before you knew it, you two started acting like a divorce couple (Who obviously are still in love) trying to impress their kids and gain more attention from the other. (Floyd wins this game, he keeps stealing you kid.)

. JADE LEECH ; Jade was amused by Crowley's assignment. Questions as to how Crowley had gotten his hands on so many con children that could perfectly impersonate two different students filled his head; while you remained purely horrified by the fact of partnering up with Jade… ‘Does he even know how to manage a child?.. probably…? I mean Floyd most definitely didn’t live on his own.. He would have probably been in jail if he was living alone’

Contrary to your worries Jade had presented himself as a great help to you, he offered to bring the materials you required and more. He even helped set up his dorm room to be more baby proof, and though Floyd’s visits did often bother you and kid… he worked out solutions and helped everything stay in order. 

Hell he even tried recommending a lot of family games and etc, though you had to most graciously decline his offer for a family hiking trip… for mushrooms… (You also had to decline his offer for mushroom flavored baby food)

. FLOYD LEECH ; Floyd surprisingly was very calm.. I mean the two of you were paired not because Crowley chose so, he just grabbed you and your poor fate was decided.. And then the process of manufacturing the realistic dolls went on for a week, you were 100% sure it wasn’t dolls but in fact real babies with dyed hair or a spell on them of sorts, and Crowley just spent the week planning a heist to kidnap the babies. 

Floyd was a surprisingly good parent, not perfect by any means but only Crowley would imagine that a fancy Schmancy college filled with (mostly) privileged wealthy boys would be able to take care of a bunch of kids (Newborn/infants at that).. Hell you heard some rumors that some people got twins and even quadruplets.. (Which added to your baby heist theory)  

Floyd held the bottle to the little eel’s mouth and watched the ‘thing’ drink (you two haven’t gotten a name for it, so you both just call it little eel or eely), while carefully listening to your baby heist theory; providing nods and a bunch of “uh huhs” and “mhms” in response, as you went in tremendous detail with your little white board. 

Also Floyd most definitely flexes his little demon to Jade and disturbs his time with his kid, “Look at my kid, it’s so incredible” energy.(Soccer mom but dad version vibes)

© cupids-chamber, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

[lxdymoon0357]

Hey hey aurelia 🥰

May i request a yandere Chamberlain siblings and Irene with a fem knight reader? Where reader is a knight of claudia from childhood but got killed by the males leads because they thought that reader is really close to claudia?

U can ignore it if you want!^^

Have a great day ☺️

(Hey Yev! Thanks for requesting this! Trigger warning: murder, hanging, etc. Yandere content also written with female reader in mind, but it is gn)

Yan! Chamberlain siblings X Knight! Reader X Yan! Irene (platonic)

☢ Irene read about you and how you were a middle class noble's daughter, your parents supported everything you do even when you asked to be a knight to your darling friend Claudia, you trained with Felix and soon you became a knight due to your hard-work and became Claudia's right-hand (wo)man!!!

☢ But you were unfortunately killed brutally by the three male leads, which made Irene very MAD obviously, you were her favourite, and then when she turned into Irene, she was destined to make sure you were safe. She didn't care what happened, you were going to be happy and her ship is going to sail!!!!

☢ You, Irene and Claudia are the most amazing trio, both Claudia and Irene ready to throw hands for you, a knight very much strong enough to kill three bears if they attacked at the same time, yeah, it is the trope of a big gentle and two small angry gremlins, it's fine, you like your two very pretty gremlins!!! You're very chaotic to be around, ngl....

☢ Felix often helps you train and Lerase is also there, he is impressed by your strength and finds you nice and entertaining and often leaves you alone when he is in control of Felix, he doesn't like to hurt, not only because he likes you a bit but also because Claudia and Irene will not leave him if he does so, does not matter if he is in Felix's body or in the demon realm...

☢ The moment, Claudia, Felix or Irene see any of the male leads even in a 100 meter radius, they are ready to rip someone to shreds, especially them who cheated you and killed you after betraying you, yes they gave you a love potion and then killed you in cold blood just like with Irene right before kidnapping Claudia...

☢ You also taught Claudia and Irene some sword fighting and self defense to protect themselves in case you aren't there, but it wasn't much of use cause you're always near them and always there to protect them and help them

☢ Claudia and Felix are very much in love with you, the siblings always fight on who will spend more time with you and Irene always win in that matter, cause she is your elder sister, does not matter if you're 100 and she is 12, she will be your ELDER SISTER!!!! She approves of the Chamberlain siblings and would allow you to date them on one condition, they keep you away from the three male leads, Lerase is also not one to back down as well....goodluck to you!

☢ Anyways, Felix and Claudia constantly flirting with you, Lerase also flirting with you late at nights, but dirty flirting with you which makes you blush and heat up and Lerase chuckles and smiles at you, for the first time in a million years, you don't know what these feelings are and oh! If you ever see them kill anyone, just walk away, pretty person~

☢ Also, Claudia, Irene and Felix killed the three male leads, if you're wondering how, Claudia flirted with them or they asked you to meet somewhere but they got the letter and then BOOM! Murdered!!!! They got their head crushed, stabbed, hanged and other things I won't mention as it is too graphic, but not like they care!!

☢ Okay, now father Chamberlain does not mind his child to be dating you, in fact he will get you married to the two underground where same sex marriage and poly marriages are allowed, so anyways, you got married to the two....Somehow, turns out it wasn't a dream....you get Irene and father and mother Chamberlain's blessings and prays, they love you!!!

☢ okay, now that you're married to Claudia and Felix, them sharing you, one thing that is frequent is, both of them will have you to themselves separately for a whole day, they're siblings and so they know how to share things well, they do get jealous at times though... It's fine, they have you on their lap, your head on your lap or them on your lap, cause they don't care and equality!!!

☢ Oh, please train in front of them in a tank top or something like that, they love your figure, does not matter if you're chubby or skinny or anything else, they find you attractive for you and your body and your great beauty was just a plus point!!

[kaygee-doodles]

Ok so, the boys probably don’t want kids much, but how would they react if Reader already had a kid/little sibling or something she was taking care of before they met her? (I get the distinct feeling Dust hates kids for…some reason)

Error scuttles away like that octopus gif.

Nightmare is slow to warm up. Children are unpredictable at best and at worst, destructive. But if it will get him a moments peace, fine, he will read them a bedtime story.

Horror is very worried. Small Thing with Sudden Movements make him a little twitchy, but this is important, so he will remember and persevere. He makes a good jungle gym.

Killer commences mischief as soon as reasonable. He's pretty good with kids, since a large amount are just little gremlins like him. If your nibling is a nerd though, he'll leave them to Nightmare and just bring them lore from universes he visits.

Dust got used to your little ward during his various visitations, and has helped with math homework more than a few times. He's pretty chill about it, after he got over his 'avoiding emotional attachment' phase.

[heartfullofleeches]

Do the cow hybrids go into heat? And if so how pushy are each of them during their heat?

Yes. You could probably call some of them pushy, but here are general behaviors during heat for them-

Eggnog - Terrified/Ashamed of their body's natural functions. Would hate to burden you with their needs/the thoughts that pop up because of them and avoids you because of these two factors. Probably steals your underwear or watches you change, but feeds absolutely terrible about it when they're back to normal. Either extremely submissive in bed or roughly dominant, though apologetic about it.

Screamsicle - Horny Gremlin. No shame in humping your hand or thigh. Will bite if you take your attention off them for five seconds. Hands down the clingest of the bunch, but one of the easiest to deal with as they are very sensitive to touch. The type to pass out immediately after and use all of their weight to keep you down with them

Cotton Candy - Similar to Scream in the sense they'll rub all over you, but is a tad nicer/less rough about it. Brings a more romantic approach with cuddling and flowers before admitting how much they need and love you

Peach - When is this woman not in heat? The type to not say a word and just put her boobs on your arm or drag you away. Ten times more possessive and cancels any and all plans you had with others. Uses her heat to pull you away from things like a person with a small cough would use that as an excuse to call in sick for work

Apricot - Pretends they don't exist entirely. Would feel horrible for leaving the lake/calling you over just to deal with his heats and can't get off alone. Goes for a late night swim which takes his mind off it... Most of the time.

Spice - Heistant to do anything related to it unless your relationship is well established. Tries to chart out that time frame so the both of you are able to clear your schedules and enjoys the time together at home. Cooks meals for the days ahead as they know they'll be too exhausted to do anything, but still wants to care for you as you'll take care of them. Switch, but submissive leaning as they take the time off and your company as stress relief

Rootbeer - Gentlemanly like, but it gets to him overtime. Doesn't seek out your help until he's no longer able to through it using photos or memory. All bashful when he finally approaches and lets you take the lead so he doesn't push any boundaries. Still fairly handsy/flirty. Tries to make sure you get your fun too

Milk Tea - Dominate and demanding, but play with his chest or pulls his hair and he'll be at your mercy. Denies any part of it once he's back to normal, but screams like a bitch during heat and pretty much is one

Vanilla - Pretty much treats it like a disease. Goes on and on about how she normally doesn't go through heats and how grateful she'll be if you help her just this once.

Banana - DemiAce which leads into how hybrids don't usually go into heat until they find a suitable partner. Rarely does anything about them or brings it up unless you notice her odd behavior. Dismissive, but accepts any offer to help

Mint - Brings it up casually/not at all and just excuses it as a side effect of the all weed they smoke. It's definitely more intense than any high induced arousal which they'll quietly admit to when kissing all over you and acting more touchy/possessive than usual

Apple - Incredibly flustered. As the town doc they're supposed to help you not the other way around. Inevitably caves and begs you on their knees for your touch - but by that point just seeing you naked would make them explode

Chocolate - Takes care of himself in his bedroom/in the shower. Hates how needy and desperate for your attention heat makes him. Milk Hybrid heats also relate to their milk production and as he never milks himself he'd loose up alot more if he allowed himself than release which he could be persuade towards

Licorice - Didn't know this man could get weirder, but he proves me wrong everytime. Sends recordings and voicemails of him pleasure himself to photos he took of you, rambling on about what you do to him in each tape. Leaves the stained pictures on your bed and other places you're likely to find. Once your relationship is more established he will just drag you into a room or his van

Strawberry - sits you down and fumbled over his words as he tries to explain heat and everything he's going through. Ends up just kissing you (on the cheek to be polite) and guiding your hands to the source of his problem. Probably has the most sensitive horns which is good because he loves oral and they'd be good handlebar

Cherry - Right to the point - asks if you want to fuck for days with little to no stops

Oat does not go through heat.

[doukeshi-kun]

What happens on days where Nikolai and his family go to the beach to have fun and his wife is wearing a swimsuit (not extremely revealing since their kids are there but just enough for Nikolai to go awooga)

𝙙𝙖𝙙!𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙞 + 𝙨𝙬𝙞𝙢𝙨𝙪𝙞𝙩

replies ⨳ i love this sm I LOVE

contents ⨳ fem!reader, babymama!reader, oc kids (yuri, mari, karol), fluff, suggestive

“Karol.”

Karol coos sadly as Nikolai ties the lace of the boy's beach shorts. Yuri is standing by his side, already wearing his blue swimsuit. Karol wants to mimic his dad, so he insists on just wearing a pair of shorts.

“You already put on your sunscreen, Yurochka?” Nikolai asks before he stands up, looking at himself in the mirror. His loose white shirt is unbuttoned fully and his sunglasses are resting on his head. He adjusts his grey swim trunks before he gives the sunscreen on the sink to Karol.

“Here you go, Karol. Your turn.”

Karol grins as he takes the sunscreen. Nikolai then grabs the bag that holds the rest of his and his kids' belongings before leading them out of the men's restroom. He holds Yuri's hand as Karol is trailing closely by Yuri's side.

“Where's mom? And Mari?” Yuri asks when they are already at the beach, with Nikolai laying a mat on the sand, under the shadow of a tree. Nikolai smiles at Yuri — always looking out for people he cherishes. He pats Yuri's head, messing with the boy's hair.

“Mama and Mari are probably still in the restroom, Yurochka. They know where to find us. And Karol! Why are you white?”

Karol looks at Nikolai, confused — his face is completely covered with sunscreen, an excessive amount of it too. Yuri scrunches his face, seeing Karol's proud face as the little gremlin makes an 'X' gesture with his arms, aimed at the sun.

“Extra protection! Sun is ev— waaa!”

He whines when Nikolai starts to rub his face, making sure the sunscreen is applied evenly to his face and neck. Karol tries to fight Nikolai's hands but his effort is clearly futile against his own dad.

“Hey.”

Karol stops resisting immediately. He pouts but he lets Nikolai do what he wants. Yuri is already sitting, looking around to look for his sister and mother, sometimes watching his dad apply some sunscreen on Karol's back.

As soon he turns to his right, he sees you and Mari walking towards him. Mari gets excited quickly and runs towards them, immediately lunging herself on Nikolai who still does not notice you are coming.

“Papa!”

“Oh!” Nikolai turns around quickly and his smile gets broader once he sees his little princess, adorable in a pink and yellow swimsuit. She also has a small beach hat on her head.

“You look cute, malyshka.” Nikolai smiles, pinching Mari's cheek lightly. Mari happily twirls and shows her twin braids.

“Mom did it for me!”

“Is that so?” Nikolai chuckles. “Seems like your braiding skill has...” his words falter when he turns his head towards you. His eyes widen as they travel your whole body, up and down multiple times.

“Mari! Let's build our sand empire!” Karol is quick to drag Mari to leave the shade and to the beach. Yuri stands on his feet quickly and follows his two little siblings, warning them to not go far. You only watch the kids leave you and your husband in the shadow as they are now having fun at the beach.

“My goodness, Karol is just too excited, isn't he?” you comment as you finally sit beside your husband. You turn to Nikolai and realize that he is very much staring at you — from head to toe.

“Kolya?”

“Mm...”

“Do I look too pretty?” you ask, clutching the long tropical robe you wore over your white one-piece swimsuit. Nikolai's eyes twitch at your assumption before he shakes his head, smiling slyly.

“You look sexy, gorgeous.”

“Oh, you...” you shyly nudge his face to the side. Nikolai chuckles at your touch as he turns his face to you again. “Not going to lie though... It feels a bit too tight right here,” you mumble as you fix the fabric beneath your breasts and of course your husband would shamelessly stare. Your breasts do get bigger after three pregnancies after all and Nikolai loves that.

“Yeah? Like this? Want me to fix it?” Nikolai grins as his hand reaches that part, purposely nudging your breasts so they shake a bit. You slap his hand away lightly, only making him laugh.

“You're such a pervy,” you mumble, slapping his thigh, which makes Nikolai groan lowly, covering his mouth in frustration. He feels extremely bothered and giddy — who wouldn't feel so when your sexy wife is by your side?

“You're driving me crazy, love.”

Nikolai could not keep his hand to himself as he holds your thigh, squeezing it lightly. “You're so pretty, love. I just can't,” he says, leaning closer. But you are quick to halt his advance by placing a hand on his bare toned chest.

“Baby, please, just a kiss.” he pouts.

You laugh softly, only making Nikolai smile more. Your hand that is on his chest trails up to his chin. You pull him closer, pecking his lips shortly.

“There. Now go check on the kids. Mari and Yuri are burying Karol in the sand now.”

Nikolai grins. “Yes, ma'am.”

He stands and wears his sunglasses back. Before he walks to his kids, he immediately seizes your jaw, bringing your face upward only to plant a kiss on your lips, a bit longer than before. Your giggle muffled by the kiss only makes him smirk against your lips.

“Just you wait tonight, love.”

©doukeshi-kun 2023 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, more @cherikolya

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

[ratskinsuit]

*Thows this into the pit I keep you all in*

Here gremlins, food, specifically Adam flavored

This was made for my very best friends birthday, that was on march 2nd @chaoticcornchip, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL <3

(I’ve never written for Adam before so expect shittyness, and she let me do this)

Boyfriend headcanons: + Random ones

He definitely confessed first, because he’s Adam

Idk what sort of dark magic you did to get him to fall for you

Or have him STAY committed, that’s an achievement

When you two first started dating, you kind of just assumed that he would keep it hidden

No.

He is FLAUNTING you all around heaven.

“THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND BITCHES. AND YOU FUCKING DICK SUCKERS COULD NEVER PULL SOMEONE LIKE THISSS”

Doesn’t let you go anywere near hell (whether your a demon or not) he doesn’t trust it

Honestly very scared of losing you

(He has abandonment issues because I say so)

Is terrified if you leaving him just like his other two wives did

Clingy

He will just randomly call you at like 3am because he’s overthinking and he’s lonely

His love language is your time spent together

Whether it’s him ranting about his day to you or just a movie and cuddles

Also expect lots of gifts, you will be spoiled

If he’s busy one day and isn’t there to spend time with you, expect to find something like a necklace on your dresser

He is very good with animals because I SAY SO

You say you like dog? Here’s a wolf

You like cats? Panther or lion?

You two have to go on ATLEAST one dinner date a week

Also takes you to nice ass places

Kinda shitty table manners but he tries his best for you

Random but I like to think he’s terrified of clowns

So if you are like some sort of jester!Reader/Clown!Reader he would be so conflicted (might write that but idk)

No circus dates

Mimes also freak him out, he thinks they are going against nature and he will scream if one comes near one

Since he tends to work a lot, to make up for it he always makes time for you

Or if his schedule is really packed he will surprise you with your favorite flowers and food/candy on your dresser when you wake up

Honestly even though he seems like someone who would forget your anniversary or your birthday

No. He does not

He goes all out of them, remembers the place, time and date

Seems like a shitty lover, is honestly not and cares about you sm

He just has a hard time expressing it

Since you two are dating you probably hang out with lute a lot (y’all can have Adam I want lute 😩)

You better hope she likes you because she is very judgy of adams girlfriends because she doesn’t want his heart to get broken

But when she sees how happy you make him, and how well you treat and care for him she warms up to you

His phone background is a picture of you

NSFW HEADCANONS: MDNI

Isn’t lying when he says he has a big dick, not THE biggest ever but pretty good

7 1/2 inches, pretty good

Okay, high ass sex drive

Literally constantly in a state of horny, it’s his default setting

Willing to do it anywhere, anytime, everywhere

You hav to physically PRY him off of you sometimes (not in a noncon way ofc)

Can probably go like 2 rounds, sometimes 3 but then starts getting tired

He’s honestly up for anything except for things like scat, piss, Vore, noncon ect-

Is fine with threesomes but prefers doing it with you alone

Up for pegging, you two just have to have a lot of trust in your relationship

Knock him down a few pegs bestie

And put them up his ass

Very clingy after

Aftercare consists of the two of you cuddling and eventually going to sleep

Will leave the cleaning up for later, he just wants to hold you in his arms for now

LOVES phone sex/sexting because of how busy he is

Has a folder full of photos of you (if you send them to him)

Really into Public sex

As said before, ANYWHERE EVERYWHERE

He’s a whore

Has tried to fuck you in a Photo Booth before

Whether you let him or not us your choice

This is all I got I haven’t written him yet I’m so sorry

———————————————————————

Have this chaotic mess. I also have like 23 requests to do, IM WORKING ON THEM I PROMISE, I’ve got a Vox one in my drafts rn I gotta finish. Anyways, happy birthday @chaoticcornchip! :D hope you enjoyed!

[luna-loveboop]

I started playing Wind Waker! Y'all want some thoughts?

-Why is the first thing I learned how to do with Link crawling on the ground like a sneaky sneak?

-Why is the SECOND thing I figured out how to do Link sidling along a wall like a sneaky sneak?

This kid is a sneaky sneak sneak!!!!

-Why is Link instantly jumping on people's tables? Get down please sir

-Wind and his family are so sweet I love them so much- and Aryll got kidnapped noooo TT

-Tetra has shot Link from a catapult

**I'm just gonna keep editing this post and adding random thoughts as I go does that sound cool? I wanna do that @hero-of-the-wolf

-Tetra's winking at Link has my heart forever she's so cute I swear

-love the glowy blue talking rock btw yesss stalker pirate girl

-Link why do you yell so loud every time you jump this is a sneak mission I thought you'd be good at this

-the game grumps on YouTube saved my life tho bc im a coward and get way too nervous in places like the forsaken fortress and watching someone else swear through the area before I do it helps ok

-Wind is such a gremlin but he's actually so polite? Like he instantly bowed to the sword trainer and then to the guy on windfall island after paying for breaking his pots- before running out of the house at breakneck speed. He's such a sweet and polite boy you can tell he's grandmas kid- yet he's such a menace what a wild yet polite lad ridndkkfkdg

-the people of windfall island are way too judgy stop being condescending to Link he's my baby. 'The Tipsters' girls have my heart tho because they.. they... well they give you tips. Tip you off you could say

-I think the King of Red Lions just legally adopted Link

Ok so small rant section but this game is so tragic. Like the art style is so goofy and fun but it hits you so hard that these are KIDS. Link is freaking twelve and his sister was kidnapped on his birthday, leaving him to follow in hot clothes because of higher defence I'm guessing (new hero clothes are more suitable for an adventure than casual loose ones but still!). But he's literally like half the height of DOORKNOBS- he has to stand on his tiptoes anytime to open doors. He is so very small.

My mom was like 'I love this animation style - does it help with your nerves that it's lighter?' And I was like 'honestly it makes me feel more deeply the tragedy of what should be a happy childhood being torn apart' but she's used to me saying weird shit like that so it's fine

-I think we as a fandom are severely underestimating how much of a gremlin Wind waker link can be and that's saying a LOT

-I got the Wind Waker!

-WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CONTROL DONT YOU LECTURE ME ON RHYTHM IM LITERALLY A MUSICIAN WHAT THE HECK

-K learned the Wind Waker

-Ok I like got to dragon roost island on the first day and FINALLY got an empty bottle my beautiful baby where were you??

-I cleaned- like actually fully dusted and cleaned- my wii u for the first time after it was inactive for years and holy mother of improved game pad controls

-is it wierd that I'm more excited about the empty bottle than the wind waker?

. . . .

-ya know in hindsight gabon looked pretty shady. I mean he was standing in the shade but what kind of asshole stands there and tells a giant bird to throw a child in the ocean

-I think ganodonk is dumb I can't wait to get the sword and bitch slap him

-'we cANt set SaiL aGain Until you geT a GLowY thiNgy' well mr boat man sir have you considered that I realised there was most definitely a heart piece or two I forgot on windfall island and I'm doing another dungeon with three hearts? At least I got a bottle ig

-why am I trading with rats for potions this doesn't seem hygienic. I know rats are in fact very clean animals but this dungeons isn't and why do the rats want rupees anyways?

-WAIT WHY CAN LINK TALK TO RATS

-so there's this like steamy glowy pot that teleports me to the start/end of the dungeon? I'm questioning all existence in this world why is that a thing. Honestly think Twilight princess's bald teleportation chicken made more sense but whatever

. . . .

-I saved the dragon! By riding on his tail? What a boss fight that was fun. Got a shiny thingy Yayy

-So the wind waker! I learned to change the direction of the wind which is so cool and also to change whether it's night or day. Which is wayyy too much power for this kid how come no one told me he could change night and day?

-That said I love how musical Link is. Like when he looks so happy waving the baton playing to the wind it's just really cool

- Why is the God of Wind a like. Toad surfer dude. Whatever, I like him.

-So apperently there's these little dudes called fish-men who are talking fish who fill out your sea chart- I am still questioning why link can talk to animals but that's fine

-I missed out on pawprint isle before apparently, so I'm gonna do that before whatever the red lion king tells me next

-Also I love Beedle in this game so far he hasn't threatened me like the other beedles in games I've played

. . . .

-I GOT MY SECOND EMPTY BOTTLE

-Sailing through the ocean is really fun

-I went back to windfall and got a 'swift sail' that lets me go faster but I still like the blue one better

-I reached the great deku tree! He had monsters for pimples and I couldn't figure out how to get them off 'what are you doing?!?! go help him!!' IM TRYING ADOPTIVE BOAT FATHER. Turns out I needed to roll into him and not use the grappling hook which makes sense but still

-He. Grew me a leaf. A magic blowy leaf. Which is great it's an awesome gift and means a lot but the Deku tree grunted and grew a leaf for me and that's kinda wierd right?

-Reaching said leaf was a PAIN and I am very impressed with Wind Waker Link.

Hang on rant session. Bro's tiny little grandmas boy but flipping through the air to reach an unspeakably high up leaf is chill. He flipped through leafy child cannons a billion times to reach the Deku leaf and didn't get dizzy or give up even after falling. And that's saying nothing of how he picked up a sword for the first time and swings his way through EVERYTHING thrown at him. Gosh he's so cool I love this Link

-I HAVE MAGIC NOW!!!!! With like a little meter and stuff tidkkfdjfnkdjfkd I'm very excited that I have magic

-Reaching this high shelf with my path forward was a pain but I have to save and quit rn so if it puts me back at the start of this room I will be. Upset.

-It put me back at the start of the room.

-I ordered a game guide! I'm gonna try and play through with it- this'll be my first time using one. But I haven't updated for a few days bc I'm waiting on it :)

This whole post is a bunch of random thoughts jumping around which my adhd self appreciates- that said I really love that we can grab an enemies weapon and use it against them. Increases my respect for ww Link even more- when he had no weapon in the forsaken fortress he grabs a literal wooden stick from an enemy and kills it with. A big twig. Kid's brutal and does what it takes which is so crazy. Also using an enemies sword is great hehe shiny

. . . .

-Got game guide. Yayyyy

-The forbidden woods are scary but they remind me a lot of the forest temple in twilight princess. A lot. The mechanics are also very similar. I love Zelda games

-Maybe it's because the only time I've had free to play rn has been at night, but I find myself constantly thinking this game is creepy. It's so unsettling for a cartoon style- the boko babas freaking eat link! And chew on him like no!! Fisnfjskfkfk *shudder* aaaanyways I am NOT looking forward to redeads in this game but that's a later problem right?

-I figured out how to get the treasure chests from the sea!! And got a piece of heart :DDD

-Ok game guides are really helpful

-Apparently the 'warp pots' are a consistent thing- I guess that's just how Link teleports in dungeons in this game. The second pot is generally hidden a bit but then you can teleport to the beginning of the dungeon and back- then the third pot is near the end... I think. This is only my second dungeon in this game with the pots but it's going great! I'm learning a lot hehe

-I love the grappling hook so much. I can farm spoils/materials from monsters with it before I kill them and I love that. Also it makes me feel cool swinging it.

-WDYM I CAN GET FREE BLUE POTIONS FROM A KOROK USING EASILY ATTAINABLE (with the grappling hook) MATERIALS FROM BOKO BABAS THIS IS JOY THIS IS LOVE IT GIVES ME HEALTH A N D MAGIC FJDKFJFK

-Also the title screen theme and animation play around outset is very satisfying. Watched it replay three times tonight before starting the game. Time well spent.

-I appreciate the items so much. The Deku Leaf is great like I can F L Y with magic and also blow wind at enemies and make them look silly <3

-The look of Link's spoils bag has grown on me and I love it. Purple.

. . . .

-I got the boomerang!!! Oh my gosh it's so cool I love it.

-I've been trying out the switch mechanic for targeting rather than hold. It's going interestingly bc I've only ever held for targeting before. But I think I like it

-The evil flower ate Makar- the Korok I'm TRYING to save GIVE HIM BACK

-That was the prettiest boss fight ever. I couldn't even be intimidated, I don't think I've ever been more relaxed during a boss fight lol. They should make all of them purple and blue sparkly- it was legitimately beautiful.

-I finished the forbidden forest dungeon!! :DD yayyy

-Link's hopping up and down in celebration after the boss fight was so cute he's so happy!!

-Have I mentioned I'm excited about the boomerang

-Makar is so cute?!?! I love him with his little violin and- the Koroks oh my heart that was the cutest ceremony ever

. . . .

-Ok so I went around the great sea, for now avoiding the big octos I am uhh terrified interested to meet, went to a place that got 'corrupted by gannorks power' so now I'm following the pirates back to windfall island

-The pirates are stealing bombs and I think this is illegal.

-My girl Tetra's here!! :D also doing illegal stuff! And Link is just watching them rob the bomb shop lol these cutscenes are the best sometimes also I love the pirate banter

-Tetras little smile and wink when she saw Link was so cute I love her. Also the little hints that she was concerned about his island and not just treasure?? Sweet

-I stole the bombs that the pirates stole from the pirates. And getting there was a PAIN with swinging on the ropes the tiny pirate (Niko) made Link do

-TETRA is a STALKER she was watching Link through the glowy rock thingy- probably cause he was just sneaking around watching her rob a shop but still that thing scares me sometimes when her voice just comes screaming out of it

-Btw why do the pirates want the god pearl thingy anyways? Just cause it's really shiny orrr

-ok we're headed to outset! I'm so excited to get back to Link's home hehe. Also I think Tetra just dared Link to a race bc she was like 'we'll get there first we still have bombs' so yeah anyways she's spending the night here tho so I'm sure it'll be fine.

-I don't like the great sea as much when it's raining and thunderstorming all over :/ I hope it doesn't stay like this? Because that would suck

-I got sucked into a cyclone and was panicking cause it threw me across the great sea BUT then it threw me onto outset!! :D so that was uhh. Handy I guess.

-Ohhh ok so like. time is frozen from ganad's current curse, which means it's gonna stay night for right now, so tetra won't be coming in time to get the treasure from the god dude first. Nice.

-The Lion King just kindly told Link to visit his family and chill for a second and check on his island?? Sobbing yes thank you sir

-Grandma's sick oh no this is the saddest thing I've ever seen ima cry. I healed her with a fairy but she was so sad link and aryll were gone im- and then grandma blamed herself for not being there for them like no it's literally cold and rainy all the time it's frozen right now you have every right to get sick- and then she made Link soup and she'll remake it for him which is great and I LOVE LINKS GRANDMA SO MUCH it was so sad she was sick I'm glad I could heal her :))

-Link smiled and nodded so enthusiastically when Grandma told him to stay out of trouble/stay safe like Link you are a liar I just watched you steal from pirates

-I sparred with Orca and I like him. It's cool how he trains Link on his home Island with like formal training because Link definitely needs it with what he's facing

-Controlled a seagull for the first time. That was fun they can fly for such a long time like. Forever?? Idk I eventually stopped

. . . .

-Ok so I talked wait no. The king of red lions talked with this guy who's a god named Jabun (I think that's how it's spelled I'll check) and he gave us a THIRD glowy thingy. I'll give more thoughts on that conversation later I gotta look up the translation. The sea is back to being sunny :))

-I spent a bit just sailing around. I need to place the shiny pearl thingies from the gods in special places marked on the map to 'reveal the place where my courage will be tested' or whatever

-I have found several great fairies and gotten my rupees and wallets upgraded twice. I like the fairies in this game.

-I FOUGHT A BIG OCTO I'M SO PROUD

-it was scary.

-But my magic meter has been doubled!!! :D *slaps wind waker link* this bad boy can fit so much magic and blessings inside of him

-I've placed two of the fancy shiny orbs. Its wierd... I put them in old looking statues and they glow. That's fine I guess.

-the fishmen are my best friends. Kind of. Every square on the map I go to one is there and they'll give me lil hints and tips while they fill out my map. Nice guys.

-beedle sent me a beedle chart! :D which. Is a map of where his shop appears so handy!

-there's these maps called 'treasure charts' everywhere that mark places in the sea with rings of glowing light that I can bring up treasure from. Generally a purple rupee but a lot of times other things :)

-there's this one square with beedles shop ship that has an empty bottle and heart piece and treasure chart for sale 00 I got the empty bottle immediately ofc (now I have three!!) and saved up the money and got the rest :) it was all like. Five to nine hundred rupees each yeesh

-Link sure does rely on maps and charts a lot in this game

. . . .

-THE GODS JUST FURKIN YEETED LINK ACROSS THE BIG BLUE OCEAN WHAT THE SHELL WAS THAT

?!?!?!?!

Ok (storytime) so I was placing the last pearl of the gods that I've been collecting in the ancient statue and a cutscene starts right?

So Link places Farore's pearl and the ancient statue starts glowing. and Link kinda startles and runs away, but then he comes back and the statue EXPLODES with light and Link goes FLYING like Farore just bitch slapped Link with power across the ocean WHY?!?!

And so you have this big dramatic cutscene where the ancient statues become really pretty and form a map of the triforce on the ocean and a big freaking TOWER comes rising out of the water and it's really cool- and then at the end Link SPLATS INTO THE FREAKING TOWER AFTER BEING SENT FLYING INTO IT LIKE GIVE THE KID A BREAK ALREADY

Of all the things I was expecting in wind waker, a cutscene of Link being sent hurtling across the world to slam face first into the literal 'tower of the gods' was not it. like forget a concussion how is Link ALIVE?!?!

-k so anyways. I'm good. Wasn't expecting that. This 'tower of the gods' is the place the King of red lions keeps telling Link he'll be tested/have to prove himself to the gods as a hero or something

-Oooo this dungeon seems cool so far! Riding in, it's just risen out of the ocean, so I'm entering the dungeon on my boat dad

-so it's like we can do it together! Not really, but King Red is how I get around the first bit at least. It's crazy how Link doesn't have a companion for in dungeons. Boat dude has just been dropping Link off at dungeons like a kid at school.

-So the tides come in and out of this dungeon. The floor will be filled with water when it's up and I'm only able to walk when tide is low and the waters gone. This is dangerous because Link, although he can survive being yeeted across the sea, can in fact drown.

-also I've just realised I haven't died so far in this game yet!! Go me :D