#leave him alone he’s already living in a hell of his own creation he doesn’t need comments from the peanut gallery
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lavellaned · 8 months ago
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Never not thinking about how the veil must be such a sensory overload for Solas.
Like he made the thing, it’s not naturally occurring, it’s just a big ol magic spell on a near cosmic level.
It’s a running canon joke that he’s constantly measuring and making comments on the veil, but it’s bc he’s never not aware of it. That’s sounds absolutely exhausting no wonder he’s either grumpy or disassociating 90% of the time.
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lunarsun12 · 10 months ago
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Renjun Vs Haechan Part 1/5
Masterlist
Next Part
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It has been a month, Haechan has been super clingy to Renjun. He always hugs him and calling him his ‘bestie’ which Renjun strongly denies but this time Haechan has took it too far. Renjun has woken up to Haechan hugging him, which Renjun gave a scream and kicked Haechan off his bed.
Haechan claimed, Renjun and him fell asleep watching a movie but Renjun knows well. He didn’t even hang out with Haechan. Which lead to huge commotion outside of Renjun room later on in the evening.
Renjun has decided to take matters in his own hand and he decided to form alliance with a certain someone.
Will Renjun be successful, who dared to confront Haechan?
Outside Renjun’s Room
Haechan: *laughs* WOW! You tried to take revenge on me! Nice try! I am literally untouchable!
Renjun: Just you wait! You will regret, that you will ever cross me!!
Haechan: *copies Renjun* You will regret it! Bahahahah
Haechan: Accept we are bestie and I will leave you alone
Renjun: NO WAY! I knew you stole my perfumes and blamed it on Chenle!!
Haechan: It wasn’t me, but I really love that wood toned! It’s so refreshing
After that statements, Haechan left an angry Renjun.
Renjun: Just you wait! I will make you regret it, that you ever messed with me!!
Renjun: I will create a chat, all of hyuck’s victims in the family! They will definitely understand the pain
Renjun Created Chat:
Hyuck’s Victims
Today 22:00
Renjun🌱: Hello, everyone! Apologise for the sudden creation of this chat but this is an emergency!!
Jisung🚀: I’m right here Renjun? Why am I here?
Xiaojun🦖: I saw hyuck in the chat name. I am scared…
Taeil🌙: I hope, he doesn’t try to put itching powder in my bed
Renjun🌱: I’ll explain soon, we need to wait for one more person
Renjun🌱: Why is he always so late, to everything!!
Hendery🦄: Sorry, I’m late! Was busy practicing my magic trick!
Xiaojun🦖: Again? Did Appa banned you doing magic indoors
Hendery🦄: You didn’t see anything!!
Taeil🌙: Hendery can speak? Like a normal person?
Xiaojun🦖: Wait a second, why are you speaking normally and not usually werid language
Hendery🦄: Renjun, said I have to talk normally to seek justice. For winwin!!
Renjun🌱: Right on cue, I gather you all today. To discuss an important matters. Regarding someone called hyuck!! My brother….
Renjun🌱: Time to put an end to Hyuck’s tyrant to us
Jisung🚀: Hyuck, hasn’t done anything to me only to Lele…
Renjun🌱: Jisung, you here for reason! Okay! Let me finish explaining!!
Renjun🌱: I am forming this group, to plan a big revenge on Hyuck. That will teach him to ever cross me again!!
Taeil🌙: That sounds wrong, he is only a kid!!
Xiaojun🦖: R-revenge on hyuck…yo Renjun…you shouldn’t do that. This will make our lives into hell
Hendery🦄: I heard from yangyang he tried to play prank on hyuck. Boom, instantly find himself next day locked out in his room in his underwear
Hendery🦄: Hyuck, shouldn’t be messed with
Renjun🌱: That why Jisung is here! He is the key to help us!
Jisung🚀: Me?
Renjun🌱: We can get Jisung, to say hyuck has formed a gang. To bully Jisung and all of you need to be the alibi
Jisung🚀: That is lying! Hyuckie will be sad!!
Taeil🌙: I’m out, bullying a child is darn wrong!! Good luck getting revenge in hyuck!
Xiaojun🦖: I can’t deal with another person after me. I am out, this territory is way to scary
Hendery🦄: I’m already on hyuck’s black list. I don’t wanna disturb him more…
Renjun🌱: C’mon you guys gotta help me! Pleaseee! I just need to teach hyuck a lesson!!
Renjun🌱: Hello guys??
After, everyone left the the chat. Renjun has no choice but to ask the second most evil person, hoping he doesn’t have to bargain with that person. He decided to text that person the next day for help. Hoping it will be smooth sailing
The next day…
Renjun and YangYang Private Chat
Renjun🌱: I can’t believe, I am asking you this!
YangYang🐑: What is it? This is new you are texting me voluntarily
Renjun🌱: I need your help, do you want get revenge on Hyuck?
YangYang🐑: Is that even a question?? Of course I will! I have been waiting for this moment
Renjun🌱: Finally, someone who isn’t afraid of Hyuck!!
YangYang🐑: Is it coming from you bro! I got the courage all I need!! You are so cool!
Renjun🌱: Thanks? Do you have any idea or something you got against hyuck. We can use against…
YangYang🐑: Hmmm, he got lot of enemies but recently I heard he pretending to be nice to Jisung. So he can pull the biggest prank yet!!
Renjun🌱: I knew him being nice to Jisung! Was strange, hyuck never be nice to someone for no reason!
Renjun🌱: How did you found out? You two practically hate eachother
YangYang🐑: I have my ways, I also heard he sleeps with stuff bear. He calls it Honey.
Renjun🌱: Wow, he made fun of Jisung for having his action figure this is funny but we need to figure out what prank he is gonna play. So we can get Jisung to snitch to Eomma
YangYang🐑: I know the perfect person who we can come too
Renjun🌱: That’s it?
YangYang🐑: Yeah…of course this our only option
Renjun🌱: No bargaining? Or asking for something in return??
YangYang🐑: Bro! It’s you! How can I ever bargain with you. You are my idol also please sign this…I want your autograph
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sentiments-of-the-night · 10 months ago
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The Last Thing He Heard
He sits on a rooftop.
He doesn’t know how he got there, he just did. And he realizes, the world looks so much different from above. Everything looks small and inconsequential, but it has a beauty to it. The beauty of not knowing what is happening to everyone’s life out there, the beauty of nature, the beauty of creation. The beauty of being free, of having a choice at your fingertips.
He has come here everyday since his life went to hell. It was easy living his life, perfect parents, perfect grades, perfect girlfriend. But that wasn’t him. Not really. And at the end it didn’t matter, everyone left him, as they do.
He didn’t have anyone but his only real friend. Which he cared more than he admitted to. His friend was the only one who really understood and saw him for him. Not for who he pretended to be when he was with others.
Which made him sorry for what he was about to do.
He came to the conclusion that it was inevitable. Sometimes pain is so great it makes you want to do anything to get rid of it. And more often than not, you get rid of it in an unhealthy way, and sometimes you don’t even get rid of it. Sometimes grief becomes a part of you. It infests you like a plague and suddenly you’re not the host of your own body anymore.
It all comes down to this moment though. The one he’s been thinking about for long enough and finally decided to go through with.
He knows people will miss him, especially his friend, the only one he truly cares about. And he is sorry, truly. But for some reason, staying doesn’t matter anymore. Even if it means leaving his best friend alone in this world full of monsters disguised as humans.
He wishes someone would try to change the ending. He wishes he could be stopped. It’d be simpler. Easier.
But life is none of those things and he has already decided he’s leaving. No point in staying when it feels like the world isn’t meant for people like him.
He feels empty and hopeless. He loves his best friend but doesn’t want to be a burden to him anymore. He doesn’t want to suck him into the black hole that is him. He wants to save him from the nightmare that he calls himself.
So here he is, in a rooftop, thinking the only way out is down. Mentally apologizing a million times to his friend, but thinking it’s better this way.
So he stands up, looks at the small world from above, and takes it in one last time, unaware his friend has noticed were he is and is frantically running up the flight of stairs that lead to him.
And when his friend finally reaches the rooftop and screams his name, he is falling. The sound of his name uttered by his friend being the last thing he heard.
And he immediately regrets it. Everything. Leaving him. But it’s too late. So he relishes the shadow of his best friend, even though it’s becoming fainter and fainter. He stretches his hand as if waiting for his hand to meet his, before he lands on the street with a thundering crack and goes limp.
The screams surrounding the area are deafening, and you can hear the sounds of the sirens approaching, unaware that they will be dealing with two bodies instead of one.
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justaguywhowritesstuff · 2 years ago
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Hold on and Stay Safe ~Carl Grimes X OC~ PT2
While grappling with the death of his brother in the Woodbury Vs Prison war. Gavin has to learn to live his new life with the people who killed his only living family member. Even once Gavin started to feel like he was creating a home at the prison things go awry and he's forced to flee on foot while trying to keep a promise he made before it all went to hell. As Gavin wanders the woods and fields alone, he manages to find his way to a new safe haven, Alexandria. Where he is taken in and cared for, and while those around him try to tell him otherwise Gavin still holds on to hope that his group is still out there. That Carl is still out there.
I do not own any of the characters or plot points that are not my creations, all credit for those goes to the owners and writers of The Walking Dead.
The story will also have Carl and all others around his age (ie. Enid and Ron) will be aged up slightly so that by the end all "kids" will be 18-19 years old.
Full story on Wattpad
I slowly open my eyes, seeing the familiar bunk bottom above me. I breathe a small sigh of relief, sitting up I rub my face and look around my cell. Slowly, I and Patrick made it homier with signs and things I’d collected on the minimal runs I had been on and things that Maggie, Glenn, and Daryl would bring back for me. I stand and start getting dressed knowing Patrick was still asleep. I pull on a pair of worn jeans, and a long sleeve shirt, I pull a maroon beanie over my hair, the shaved parts now brushing my neck and the top part going down past my earlobes, I tuck it all back so it stays out of my face. I grab my knife and kick the bunk bed to wake Patrick. He jumps hard and gasps. “Jesus Christ Gavin!!” He exclaimed before putting on his glasses and looking over at me. “You told me to wake you up!” I say with a chuckle before leaving the room and heading downstairs. The sun was already streaming in through the windows of the prison, I walk over to Carl's room, though he was normally out with his dad working the crops at this point. I was shocked when I found him still asleep in his bunk. “Should I wake him up…? He doesn’t normally sleep in…” “Carl…?” I stepped softly into the room, pushing the sheet that covered his cell back so the light shined on his face. Carl groaned and slowly opened his eyes, then shielding them from the light. “Hm? What?” He asks, sitting up and looking over at me. “Nothing it’s just, I didn’t expect you to still be asleep, normally you're up and out in the yard with your dad at this point.” Carl looked a bit surprised but nodded. “Yeah…thanks for waking me up.” He said standing up. I nod and smile. “Yeah no problem, I'm gonna head out to the yard and see if they need any help. Let me know if you need anything while you're out there” I say then leaving his cell, and walking out of the prison. There are only a few people up, mostly the ones getting ready to go on today's run. I walk out to the field up to the fence, and a decent amount of walkers came up to the outside gate overnight. I sign softly, we found him months ago, at the fence of the prison, but I still couldn't break the habit of coming out to look for him. I stare out to the woods for a while before some of the younger kids run up to join me, mainly Lizzie and Mika. “Gavin, what are you doing over here?” Mika calls running up next to me. “Just watching,” I say with a smile than looking back, expecting to see Carl by the small farm we had set up but he wasn’t there. “Well, we named a few of them. Do you wanna come to meet them?” Lizzie asked, walking up next to Mika. I look over at her and smile. “Sure, show me them!”
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plush-rabbit · 3 years ago
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In God's Warm Embrace
Pastor Simeon decides to talk about you and your little absence around the Church as of late.
Warnings: could be considered noncon, or like coercion
Warnings: 4.2K
A/N: (〃 ̄︶ ̄)人( ̄︶ ̄〃)
You walk through the corridor, the statues looking upon you. White roses are placed in vases at each window, the petals wilting at the ends and falling onto the lace tablecloth. The eyes of a crucified Jesus seem to follow you as you enter a room. It’s empty, only pictures and a singular cross looking upon you and keeping you company as you sit on a teal cushioned chair and wait.
The room is filled with light, the rays of the fading sun catching amongst the panels and shining a kaleidoscope of colors onto the room, peeking at the top of your knees and creeping to your thighs. Your hands are moist with sweat, your brow knitted with worry and your lips pulled into a frown. Shame floods your body, burning hot with the fire from hell, your tears slipping down the curve of your face and dripping onto the collar of your shirt. You’re stuck in silence while the world outside moves on, living shame free and simply existing.
The door to the office opens with a gust of warm air entering, and in the same breath, it’s closed, clicking to a lock. You swallow and your mouth is dry, your gaze sticks on the hardwood floor, trying to make out a pattern within the lines. A chill runs through your body when two hands rest on your shoulder, gripping tightly onto you.
Silence rings in your ears, deafening and enough to make your ears ache. “You know I care for you deeply, do you not?” He offers no room for you to answer him. “I do my best with what I can, while I’m in charge of the church- in charge of you. You know you’re able to come to me if you’re ever struggling.” His index finger twitches against your shoulder. “Have I not made that clear?” He squeezes your shoulders with both hands.
“No, Pastor Simeon. You’ve made it clear I can turn to you. You’ve taken great care of me ever since I found the Church.” You can hear laughter ringing outside the window, the color on your knees twinkling with each passing second. “I appreciate it very much.”
“Then, you’d be willing to tell me why I found you with Pastor Raphael? You know, he doesn’t just allow anyone in his office.” His nails are cushioned by the fabric of your blouse. “Nor does he allow anyone to sit so close to him.” You can hear something venomous in his voice, a low hiss that is gone as soon as it came.
“I simply needed help planning the monthly party. You seemed busy with a new follower and I didn’t want to take away your attention.” Your heart leaps into your throat, catching and making it impossible to breathe. “I didn't mean to offend.”
“You know I’m always happy to make time for my favorite follower.” His hand creeps closer to your neck, his skin warm against your clammy one. “While you’re here, I’ve also been meaning to ask you why you haven’t shown up on Friday nights? You know we still hold services on those nights.” His index tickles the base of your neck, stroking upwards onto you. “Where have you been?”
You rub your thighs together, anxiety deep in your joints, making you antsy and uncomfortable. “I’ve met some friends,” you confess. “We go out on Fridays and well, Fridays are usually empty so I assumed-”
“Ah,” he says simply. “You believe that your own enjoyment is above others who are seeking guidance from our Lord.” He sighs, his hands coming closer to the base of your neck, fingertips light against you. “I see the Devil has tainted your heart,” a sad tone lacing at his words.
“No!” You gasp out, trying to look above. “It- It’s not-”
His words cut through yours. “Tell me, are these friends the ones who saved you when you were alone? When you were lost and broken? Are they the ones who rescued you from damnation?” You shake your head. “I can’t hear you.”
“No,” you mutter, twiddling your hands together. “That was you.” You swallow, your lips dry and the swirl of colors makes it hard to focus. “I apologize. I just thought-” your lips pull into a straight line- “I had thought that perhaps I could go out. I didn’t mean to abandon my duties here. I promise to do better.”
“You’re in God’s house. You should know that promises made under here are sacred.” You nod your head. “Speaking of Fridays-” his hands finally wrap around your neck and you startle- “you’ve been missing confession during then.” Your hands flutter but make it no further than your chest, your eyes trying to latch onto a reflective surface to look at him. He says your name in a light whisper, his fingertips caressing the front of your neck. “I’m sure you have things to confess. Don’t fret, we all sin from time to time. We are only made in God's Image, but he’s the one who gave us free will. As long as we find our path to light, we’ll surely be saved.” He clicks his tongue, a hand faltering away to slip past your shoulder and tease at your collarbone. “Is there anything you’d like to confess? After all, you have my undivided attention.”
“I’m afraid I have sinned.” His hands tighten around you. You aren’t sure if it’s a threat or something else- even then you aren’t sure what the “something else” could be. “As you mentioned earlier, I’ve been putting my own satisfaction above others. I fear that I’m becoming selfish in my ways. However, I know that with enough prayer, I could overcome this. I think I'll head home tonight and pray.” You don’t know how to feel with his hands around your throat, not liking the way they seem to claim over you. “I still need to purchase items for the monthly party.”
As you move to rise from your seat, he pushes you back down. You fear that the Devil’s clawed hands will rise from the floor and grab at your ankles. You call his name, straining your neck to look up at him and when you meet his eyes, you look back down, murmuring an apology for daring to look at him.
“You’ve been lacking your duties, playing around with people who don’t care for you- at least not in the way I do- and now you want to rush home? You’re already here, let me help you. Let me be the one to help you repent your sins. I am a man of God, devoted and under his light, it’s only right that I save you from damnation.” His words leave a sinking feeling in your stomach, aching and twisting around, pulling tight until acid is rising- thick and burning. “You want to be forgiven, don’t you?”
You nod your head. “In the confessional?”
“No, dear.” The colors are warm on your skin, his hands light, and the room cold. “This one is a bit more personal. Something that I’m only willing to share with you.” The sun shines outside, colors reflected across the room, shining in an heavenly light. “Hebrew 4:13-” he sounds almost smug as he speaks, his abdomen pressed against the back of your chair- “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” You can feel him hover closer to you, his hand lowering past your collarbone and slipping to the curve of your breast. “You seek to repent for your sins, do you not? Do you think Raphael would still be intrigued with you after learning that you’re abandoning God to seek out pleasure from others? I know how you care for the opinion of others.” His hand massages at your breast, pulling at the cup, your hardened nipple peeking through the shirt. “Come now, my little lamb, make the wise choice.” His finger pinches at your clothed nipple, causing you to pinch your thighs together, a shameful sound muffled between your closed lips. “Do you wish to confess your sins to me?”
Your body is lit aflame with the way that he touches you, an uncomfortable growing wet spot forming between your legs. “I wish to repent, Pastor Simeon.” Your stomach drops at your words, your heart beating against your chest and a cold feeling wraps tight around you. “Please, help me.”
“Open your mouth,” he says, a hand hugging your throat and forcing you to look up at him. You do as you say, the tip of your tongue peeking past your bottom lip. “You wished to repent for your sins.” His lips curve into a thin smile. “Well, I’m about to help you.” He bows his head, the apple in his throat bobbing as his lips are pursed together. Spit falls onto your tongue, the taste bitter with wine, and thick with salvation, as you close your mouth and swallow it. A hand cups your face, his hand softly curling into a petting motion. “Good-” he pulls away and you watch him move, standing before you with hands on his belt, the metal clinking together as he undoes the belt- “get on your knees and take my cock into your mouth.”
You can still feel the way that his hand felt when it was wrapped around your throat, the lingering feeling of something tight coiling around you and you fear that you’ll be left with bruises. “Yes, Pastor Simeon,” you whisper under your breath.
The chair squeaks in the room, your knees cold as you meet the floor. You open your mouth, wanting to speak further, to perhaps put a stop to this or have some sort of guidance, but the taste of wine weighs heavy on your tongue, your breath coming out in short pants as your hands tremble to unzip his pants. You inch close to him, the zip echoing in your ears as you pull it down. He removes his shoes and kicks them off the side, his pants lowered and he stands in his briefs in front of you, the outline of his cock bulging against the fabric. Your hand cups over the outline, your lips pulled into a frown when warmth emanates from it and burns against your palm.
“Are you okay?” You look up at him, with wide eyes, sneaking a glance back to where your hand still holds his covered cock. “I understand, being tempted is quite different than actually committing the act, but I assure you-” his hand curves over the top of your head- “this is for you. I’m trying to save your soul. I was chosen by God, I wouldn’t dare trick you in any way.” He senses your hesitation, the worry in your eyes that brim over with tears. “How about this? Kiss me. That way, it’ll be an easy transition for you.” He helps you onto your legs, standing against him, his hands cupping your face and lips bittersweet with wine. “We’ll kiss like lovers. Make love as one, and I assure you, that after today’s session, you’ll be one step closer to God’s Light.”
His lips are soft, tongue even softer as it slips between your lips. His kiss is nice- something pleasant and slow that makes your stomach churn as if butterflies were inside of you. You lean closer to him, pressing your chest against his and your hands are awkwardly stiff at your sides. He’s still pressed against you- his erection stiff and pulsating with heat as he deepens the kiss.
A hand leaves your face, leaving you cold. You whine into him when his hand traces down your body, grabbing at your empty hand and placing it above his cock. He holds yours, gently mimicking jerking motions as the kiss continues. Saliva pools under your tongue, slipping past the corners of your lips and dripping thickly onto your shirt. Your head spins, fever burning your skin as the summer heat does to you. You hold together onto him, the cock thick in your hands as shakily continues the motions without his help. With a mouth filled with his tongue and shared spit, he pulls away, pecking at the corner of your lips to your jawline and against your neck- right below where your heart pulses. His briefs are slipped off, the heat of his member burning against your hand.
“Get on your knees. It’s time to worship,” he says quietly to you, his hands wrapped around your arms, guiding you to your knees. “Remember, that this is for you.” Your knees meet the cold floor once more, your joints aching and lips already feeling bruised despite the soft kiss. “You’re the sinner and I’m the one guiding you to salvation.”
Your cupid’s bow bumps against his cockhead, a slimy trail of pre-ejaculate spreading across your lips. A hint of something salty replaces his bittersweet taste, you push yourself forward, your lips opening as you wrap them around his cock. His hands cradle the back of your head, a sigh of pleasure filling the air between the two of you.
“Suck on it,” he orders, pushing your head deeper onto his cock, until it hits your uvula. You hollow your cheeks, the soft, plushiness of it pressed against the side of his cock. “Just a bit harder, my dear.” His hands knit between your hair and his fingertips press against your scalp. “You suck on my cock, and I’ll guide you.”
True to his word, he guides your head, pushing you deeper down his cock as tears spring to your eyes, your ears hot and chest losing air with each thrust. Your mouth closes around his cock, a pitiful attempt at sucking at his cock while he thrusts your head onto him. With each thrust, the tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, his hands holding tightly onto you. To say he is forceful feels almost wrong, but his hands are heavy, his gestures anything but sweet and the only kind words that he can hiss out between his clenched teeth are praises that make your stomach twist. You aren’t sure if it’s his taste that is acidic or sickness settling in.
“But while my relationship is secure with you, I know sin can break our fellowship at times. I’m still human, and I often forget who I am and Whose I am. You want to convict and correct me, not shame me.” His voice cuts through the air, louder than your choking. He holds power in his voice, muttering through the prayer, increasing in volume as his moans do. “So before I take communion today, I’m asking You to truly search my heart and reveal hidden things for which to ask Your forgiveness.”
The noises that fill the room are loud, gagging and wet slapping sounds with each movement. Your jaw aches, tears slipping past the curve of your face as your nails dig into his thighs. You call his name and it’s unheard, a jumbled mess of slurred sounds that are lost within the wet slapping sounds. Yet, even with his cruelness, something pulses between your legs. It’s an uncomfortable situation, something thick slipping past your entrance and resting on your underwear, the twisting in your stomach rivaled by a burning ache.
“Oh my,” he grunts, pressing your face down to his base. Your tongue slips around the underside of his cock, tracing at a vein as saliva slips down your chin. “My little lamb, you feel fantastic.” He’s too deep in your mouth, closing at your throat and blocking any air that can travel. “Just hearing you gag is nearly enough for me.” Your face burns, burning hot tears form and cling to your lashes. Your mouth bubbles with drool, your palms slapping against his thighs as you call to him through his cock. Something acid crises in your throat, only to be washed away by his thick seed. It slides down your throat, heavy and filling, white creaminess staining your tongue and burning past your tears.
When he pulls you away, you cough, small specks of semen ruining the cherry wood floors. You gasp for air, the scent of candles burning strong in the air. “Sim-” a cough interrupts your words- “Simeon,” you hiccup, your hands flat on the ground. You look up at him, watching as he strokes his cock, semen dripping onto the floor. “What are you doing?”
“We’re not done yet,” he says as he grabs you by your biceps and lifts you into a standing position. “I apologize for the roughness but it’s what the Lord commands me to do. Now, it’s time for the other steps.” He presses you against the edge of his desk, the hem of your skirt in his hands and his breath close to yours. His thumb brushes away your tears. “Lift up your skirt for me, my sweet lamb.”
“What?” You ask in a strained whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself, giving yourself the comfort you desperately need. “What do you mean? Wasn’t that enough?”
“There can never be enough salvation.” he grabs your hands and lets them hover over the hem of your skirt. “Now, lift up your skirt. Don’t make me repeat myself again, dear.” He takes a few steps back. He gives you a slight nod, allowing you to proceed.
You lift up your skirt, the fabric clenched in your hands, and even though you just had his cock in your mouth, you feel exposed. Simeon hums in thought, stepping towards you, his index finger tracing over your slit. His index presses harshly against you, almost teasing at your entrance and when he pulls away, the tip of his index is shining. He tilts his head and rubs his index and thumb together, your arousal smearing between the two, as his hands on your thighs as they reach the hem of your underwear and pull down. You can feel a cool strand of your arousal slap against our warm skin when the fabric pools around your ankles.
Your clothes are removed, falling onto a lifeless puddle on the floor. You rest on the desk, your hands flat against the table as you peer at your Pastor. He fills the gap, the tip of his cock smearing between your lips. You gasp out, your head shaking as you look around the room. “Wait- Wait,” you stop him. He listens and gives you a tender smile.
“What’s wrong, my dear?” His hand cusps at your face, his thumb brushing against your lower lip.
“I’m a-” your face burns with shame as you look down. Your hand is casted in rainbow light. “I don’t- I’m saving myself till marriage. I don’t- isn’t there another way?”
“My lovely lamb,” he whispers out, his lips ghosting over your collarbone and resting over a pert nipple, another hand covering your other breast. “You don’t have to worry about that right now. God won’t hate you for acts of love. If that’s difficult for you to comprehend, why don’t you think of me as your God for now?” His lips peck at your nipple, his mouth opening and suckling at your breast. “Making love with God is not a sin.” You arch your back as he nurses on your breast, his other hand massaging and kneading at the other breast.
Tears dry in your eyes, your gaze wide and doe-like. “What about a condom? I’m not on birth control or anything.”
“My dear-” he kisses at your breast once more, lolling the hardened nipple with the tip of his tongue- “with me inside of you, it’ll be much more pure. It’ll be the pure essence of me- our God- in your body. Nursing at your womb and filling you with life. Don’t deprive yourself of that.” He lifts his head, your breast is cold from the air, the other pert from touch.
Your rim is stretched, a pain sparking between your legs. The crown of your head is pushed against his desk, your hands lawing around his biceps. He muffles your yelp with a rushed kiss, his tongue pushing past your lips. You gasp for air, pulling him closer to you and wrapping your legs around him, hoping that that will deter him from continuing.
It doesn’t.
He thrust into you, pulling away, his cock stretching you virgin walls. He pulls away from the kiss, his lips on your neck before he rises above you and kisses your lips once more. Your legs loosen from the hold on him and he grabs at you, pushing your legs into a bent position over your body. Everything feels much too tight, the position only bringing a stinging pain with pleasure right at the cusp, your body aching for anything to remove the pain.
In a desperate attempt, you bring your hand to rub at your clit, letting out a breathy moan when it does relieve you from the pain. He kisses your lips once more and unable to think, you can only press down at your clit.
“It stings,” you murmur between the lips. “Pastor Simeon, it doesn’t-”
“Just give it a second.'' His hand replaces yours and his fingertips feel foreign compared to yours. “Such a good follower to know that you have to play with yourself.” He presses the kiss deeper, his hands finding a sweet rhythm that makes you gasp into his mouth, the pain fading away with every thrust. “How ever did you know to do something like that?” His pace quickens, a wet clicking sound filling the room as he pushes himself inside of you. “Do you do this often or-” his fingers pinch at your clit, causing you to squeeze your legs together, your cunt wrapping tightly around him- “did someone teach my favorite follower something so perverse? What was it? Were you being a whore and touching yourself or did you let someone play with you?”
“Me,” you choke out, clinging onto him, so desperate for another kiss to dull the fading pain. “It was me.” Your tears catch on your tongue and you shake your head at the taste. “I’m so sorry Pastor Simeon. I was weak,” you moan, closing your eyes until colors and organic shapes fill the inky blackness. You can feel the gold cross around his neck rest between the valley of your breasts, a cold surface against your fevered skin, it bobs and piches at you with every thrust.
He grunts above you, moaning your name until it sounds odd in your ears, his cock twitching inside of your velvety walls. His cock fills you, stretches your cunt and makes you feel impossibly full. Your clit pulses with arousal as you drip around his cock, pulling him close to you, desperate to feel his burning skin upon yours. He calls your name, stuttering his hips inside fo you before coming to a still. You’re filled with his seed- creamy white that spills out of you only to be pushed back in by his hands. You’re covered by him, your entrance puffed and spilling with white discharge, your body shakes as he pulls himself out. His lips meet your in a tender kiss, sucking at your bottom lip and holding you close.
Your eyes are heavy with exhaustion, your body shaking lightly as thick semen pours out of your ravaged cunt. You call for him, your hands blindly searching as they fall past the edge of the desk. His lips press against your forehead, cold hands that touch at your feverish body, makes you lean into him. His lips smile against you.
“You’re free to rest here as long as necessary.” You open your eyes at him, your brows furrowed but without energy and no room to have any coherent thoughts, you are unable to ask him anything. “I hate to leave you here, but I have a meeting to attend. I’ll hope to see you again next Friday, of course.”
You turn your head lazily towards him where he’s already buckling his belt. “Next?” You ask with a pause. “What do you-” a yawn ruins your sentence and chance to speak.
“Surely, you did not believe that one session was enough to lead you to redemption? Oh my, sweet lamb, no.” He clicks his tongue and shakes his head with a patronizing huff. “You’ve told me yourself that you’ve touched yourself- do you believe that God would take in such a whore?” He smiles at you and it’s cold. “He wouldn’t,” he says simply, adjusting his collar, the necklace that once laid between your breasts now rests between his. “But I’m here to watch over you. To give you the treatment that you deserve and make sure you get into God’s good graces.” He walks to the door, his back turned to you, until his hand is around the knob. “Now remember, you wanted this, and I’m more than happy to help, my dear lamb.”
The door clicks close behind him and you are left in a darkening room, the kaleidoscope of lights vanished long ago, only a dripping trail of semen leaking from your cunt. Your body aches and you feel cold, naked under the eyes of the Lord. With shaky limbs, you rise from the desk, wearing the clothes as they are- wrinkled and dirtied from the dust on the floor. You pat yourself down. The doorknob is cold under your touch, your body pricked with goosebumps, and let the door close behind you.
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kaeyasstarlight · 4 years ago
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A Sleeping Beauty(Husband!/Prince!Shoto Todoroki x Wife!/Aurora!Reader)(Royal/Sleeping Beauty AU)
A.N: I hope you will like this scenario and I had fun writing it :D I will probably do more Disney stories like this with other characters and have fun reading! :)
If I made a mistake feel free to tell me! :)
Genre:Fluff
Warnings: Female pronouns(She/Her)
Story Used:"Sleeping Beauty" Disney adaptation
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"Daddy! It's time for my bed time story!",your 4 years old kid yells(You can choose a girl,a boy or a non-binary kid).
"I'm coming princess/prince/royal",your husband Shoto responds while smiling at you both's creation.
He thanks you everyday for giving him the most beautiful gift you could have given him, a child of his own.
He goes sit on the bed of his kid and he sees your down expression on your face while you pass in the hallway.
You have been feeling down lately because of work, but you didn't want to show it to your family, but Shoto knows you too well and saw that you were down. An idea pops in his head at this moment.
"Hey Honey? Would like to come listen to the story with us. The one of today is special.", you smile at him
"Of course. I'll go get a blanket and I'm coming."
You then get back with the big blanket and put it on you, Shoto and your kid.
"So, you said that today's story was special?",you look at your husband.
"Yes. I took a story and changed it a bit at my manner."
"I'm excited to see", said your kid with a big grin on their face.
"Ok, so here it is":
Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of (Your Country), was born a beautiful princess named Y/N L/N.
"Just like mommy!", said your kid while cutting Shoto's story.
"Yes just like Mommy, and she was just as beautiful as your mother."
You knew where this was going and a smile popped on your face at his actions.
For the birth of the princess, their parents has organized a big event where all the kingdom and the Kingdom of the king Enji who had just gotten a fourth kid nammed Shoto, was invited. The parents(I made it so it works if you have two moms or two dads), had invited three fairies and they each would give the princess a gift. The first one, Katsuki, gave the princess the gift of beauty. The second one, Tenya, gave the princess the gift of a beautiful voice.
"For now the story works with mommy's description"
"You think so",said Shoto
"Yeah! Mommy is very beautiful and she has a pretty voice when she sings"
"You don't have to say all that",you respond while blushing a bit
"Also the prince has the same name as you daddy"
"Yeah. Imagine the princess and the prince ends up together like me and mommy."
"It would be so cute!"
"Before you continue, does the fairies has the same names as uncle Kacchan and uncle Iida?"
'Yeah, and the third one's name is Izuku just like uncle Midoriya"
"Ohhhhh you can continue"
Shoto continues:
When it was the turn of the third fairy,Izuku, a big amount of smoke appeared. It was the shapeshifter witch Himiko Toga.
"No one invited me to the party? How sad. Well I guess I can also give something to the little girl now that I'm here."
"No! You won't touch her and get her blood you crazy witch!"
"Oh come on! You know I have something better. You didn't invite to the celebration when you know I love parties. You know what? I'm gonna give the princess a gift! She will pick her finger on a spinning wheel on her sixteenth birthday and die!"
"NO!", yelled your parents
Himiko then disapeared in a cloud of smoke. The third fairy hasn't given her gift yet. He decides to give her the gift that instead of dying, she will fall into a deep slumber until someone gives her a true love kiss. The parents of the girl orders that all spinning wheels of the kingdom must be burned and the parents decides to let their daughter live with the fairies in a cottage in the forest.
Many years later, the princess turns into a beautiful and wonderful woman. She doesn't know her parents are the royal family and she thinks she's just a peseant and that Katsuki,Tenya and Izuku educated her after her parents died. It is now Y/N's sixteeth birthday and the fairies wants to organize her a surprise party.
"Y/N? Could you please go gather berries for the dessert tonight?", said Tenya.
"Of course! I'll be back later!"
"And don't forget not talk to strangers!",reminded Katsuki
Y/N left the house and went to go gather the berries in the forest. The girl then decided to go by the river a little while. The animals then gather aroud her. She always had a good relationship with animals and she taught they could understand her.
Meanwhile, the prince Shoto, who has also become a handsome young man, was out with his horse and heard the voice of the girl. He got struck by the beauty of her voice he wanted to know who she was. He tried to follow the voice but on his way, he fell into a pound.
On the side of the river, Y/N is talking with animals about the fact that her godfathers stills treats her like she's a child and she wishes she could meet someone. She then tells them she met someone "Once Upon A Dream". While she tells her dream about her walking with a prince, some of the animals finds the cape,the boots and the hat of the prince and takes them.
(At this part you can listen to the song "Once Upon A Dream" to be more in the ambiance ;) )
The animals acts as the prince of Y/N's dream and dance with her. She is getting directly in the scene and dances with them while pretending she's talking to the prince from her dream. Then at a moment, the real prince Shoto starts to sing. She's surprised at first and tries to go away because he's a stranger. He then tells her: "Don't you remember? You said it yourself, we already met, "Once Upon A Dream"".he then starts to sing again. The princess then gets confidence in him and dances with him like this.
Shoto makes you stand up and puts his hand on your waist. He makes you sway in his arms to slow dance just like the prince with the princess in the story. He starts to sing the song and you get along with it. You both are twirling in your kid's room and having a romantic moment like you never had. Your kid looks at the both of you with amazed eyes and claps at the end of your performance.
"Let's go back to the story shall we?",Shoto says after you both sat down again on the bed.
Y/N invites the young man to meet her godfathers at dinner and he accepts. Meanwhile, at the cottage, the fairies had some trouble to organize the party so they decided to use their magic.
"HUH?! Why the hell would you want to make the dress Blue?! It would obviously be better in Pink!(I can't belive I wrote that haha)",said Katsuki
"Kacchan I was just proposing an idea, but I think that the Blue would be better on Y/N",responded Izuku
"Hell nah! I have way better fashion sense than you damn nerd! She would be so much better in Pink!"
While they were arguying, Tenya was trying to make a cake with no big succes the normal way. With magic, it gave a better result and it looked so delicious. Unfortunately, all the magic that Katsuki, Tenya and Izuku were making was leaving traces and it caught the attention of Himiko's sidekick, Dabi. He hides behind the house and Y/N arrives back home. She tells her godfathers that she has fallen in love, but they don't know it's the prince. They tell her that she's the princess and that she's already engaged to the prince Shoto and they will bring her back to the castle tonight. She goes in her room crying because won't be able to be with the stranger she fell in love with.
Dabi overheard the conversation and went to tell Himiko that the princess would be at the castle tonight.
Meanwhile,the prince tells his father he wants to marry a peseant, which the king Enji is not pleased about.
"SHOTOOO! YOU CAN'T MARRY A PESEANT! YOU'RE ENGAGED TO THE PRINCESS Y/N!"
Shoto didn't care about his father and would go to the dinner at the cottage tonight anyways.
Y/N gets all dressed and ready for her birthday celebration and be with her parents again, but then a glow apears in the room. She follows it by curiosity. The fairies then also see the glow when they come to go get Y/N and try to go as fast as they can to stop her. Unfortunately, they came too late and the beautiful princess was on the floor. Himiko laughs at her victory:
"Hahahaa! I did it! The princess is dead and you came too late!", she disapears and the fairies put the princess in a bed in the highest tower of the castle. They put all the people from the castle in a deep slumber just like Y/N. Before they fell asleep, the king Enji and the parents of Y/N were talking and the fairies understand that the man Y/N fell in love with was the prince. When they go back to the cottage, they realize the prince has already been taken to Himiko's hideout.
"So....", Himiko shows to Shoto his princess in a deep slumber.
"Would you look at that. The beautiful princess you fell in love with has been put in a deep slumber. I think I should let her like this until you become old and raged while she didn't age a bit and you won't be together."
"NO!", Shoto yells.
Y/N was one of the only person Shoto trusted and wanted to be with forever and he was gonna lost her. When Himiko leaves the prince alone, the fairies rescue him and give him a sword and a shield to fight the witch.
Himiko tries to stop Shoto to go in the castle by putting thorns around it, but without succes for her, because the prince breaks them in a sway of his sword. She turns into a big dragon to confront him and the prince fights her furiously. At a moment, he throws the sword into her heart to kill her(I'm sorry TwT I love Toga I didn't want to kill her but it's for the sake of the story TwT).
The prince goes up to the highest tower of the castle and finds his beautiful princess on the bed. He goes closer to her to kiss her on the lips. She wakes up and sees her love smiling at her. They go together in the ballroom and Y/N's parents are glad to see her again after all those years. They all go in a hug and Y/N goes back to her prince and they dance together. While they dance, Katsuki and Izuku are still fighting over the color of the dress.
"I told you Pink, you damn nerd!"
"-_- You know what at this point I won't even try Kacchan."
They then got married a few months later and got many beautiful/handsome childrens.
The end.
"Wow! They ended up together just like you two! It's so cool!", your kid says didn't realizing it was you two all along.
Thanks to Shoto, your sad expression of earlier was long gone.
"It was a beautiful story Sho", you say smiling at him
"I'm glad you both liked it", Shoto responds.
Your kid yawns and you tug them in their bed.
"Goodnight my baby",you say to them.
"Goodnight mommy and daddy,I love you"
"Goodnight", you both say to them.
You peek throught the door to see that they are already asleep.
"So.... Many kids huh?", you say smirking a bit at him.
He also smirks at you and says:"I mean I wouldn't mind giving them a sibling.", he goes closer to you to kiss you on the lips and then rub your arms.
"Would you like to?", he says.
"I wouldn't mind either. You want to start now?", you respond.
He responds to you by smirking.
It's gonna be a long night... ;)
A.N: I hope you enjoyed this story. I had fun writing it and I will probably do more scenarios like this with other characters and stories :)
Have a nice day or night and remember to take care of yourselves! <3 (I'm on my period right now so I try to take care of myself TwT)
You are beautiful and loved! <3
See you soon!
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heavenbarnes · 4 years ago
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what’s your poison?
Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings/Contains: a cheating ex boyfriend, alcohol, unprotected sex (please use protection), oral sex (female receiving), handjob, dirty talk, swearing, joking during sex cause i’m fun, pulling out onto stomach, bucky has a dog, new zealand english cause i wrote the start on my phone
Word Count: 5.5k
if you try and tell me you’ve never fallen in love with your bartender before, i hope you know you’re a liar! anyways, this is fun and it doesn’t mean anything so enjoy (so i guess this is technically an au, but could also not be cause there is references to in-canon shit) x
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You wouldn’t say you were proud of finding solace in a bar, especially not one with those tacky red neons and a floor sticky enough to have you frozen in place.
But here you are, perched up on that high stool by the window, notebook spread open in front of you with a pen resting on your lower lip.
Funny thing about heartbreak, the world doesn’t stop moving around you, even when you wish it did. So when you come home to your roommate fucking your boyfriend, you still have to live in that house cause finding rentals is near impossible.
And when living in that house feels damn suffocating, you have to sit in the bar down the street doing the work that is kicking your ass, because people don’t stop filing reports when your heart gets broken.
Wasn’t the first time the world made it blaringly obvious that it didn’t revolve around you, but sometimes the ignorance is bliss.
Scribbling out yet another data set, you knew your life wasn’t about to get any easier, but even you had to admire your own perseverance. So did Astrid, the sweet waitress that was swapping your empty glass with a full one.
You smiled at her, picking up the drink and giving it a sniff, screwing your nose up slightly. “You’re very kind but this smells strong and I’m still working.”
“It wasn’t me, I’m just the messenger,” She returned your smile as she cleaned the little drops of soda from your last drink. “Bucky figured you needed it by the look on your face.”
Casting a glance over Astrid’s shoulder you caught eyes with the bartender, the one who’d already been looking at you but turned away once you caught his eye. You lent him a smile nonetheless, just in case he was looking.
Stirring the drink with your paper straw, you came in to take a sip, immediately feeling the flavours flood over your tongue. Bucky was onto something, you definitely needed this and about 17 others after it.
“Tell him I say thank you.” You gave her a sheepish little grin as you took another sip of his creation.
The thing about Bucky was, he didn’t say a hell of a lot but he was a god with his hands. Not like that, like when he was shaking cocktails. But you were sure he was probably good in that way too.
Six foot three and broad in just about every way, long hair and that brooding kind of look on his face. He might’ve been the reason you picked this bar out of the ten or so others littering the stretch.
He’d quietly mix your drinks with those large hands (even his prosthetic hand was big, dark metal glinting under the neon lights), always making you exactly what you needed. Sometimes, if you timed it right, you could see him watching you out of the corner of your eye.
That should’ve been weird, quiet guy that won’t even introduce himself to you watches you from across a bar. But Bucky made it different, something in you liked the way he stared.
Astrid had been the only one you told about your now ex-boyfriend, but from your hospitality experience, word spreads quick behind a bar. You didn’t mind, it got you free drinks and kindness from the other waitresses as they swirled around you.
Beanie, who was studying business on the side, would sit with you as you worked out your spreadsheets. She asked you mountains of questions that never got annoying, felt nice to be valued around here.
Every day that you left work, you’d sneak back to your apartment, avoiding your roommate by timing it with when you knew she’d be at the gym. Quickly changing your clothes, you slipped back out into the city and headed for the bar.
You kept it quiet with where you spent your evenings, not wanting your boss to think you had a problem with all your time spent there. But you knew that it was very seldom there was actually alcohol in your drinks, mainly just new mocktails Bucky was trialing and testing on you.
That’s how the two of you communicated, he’d make a drink, a waitress would bring it over, you’d sample it and she’d feed the feedback back to him. A rather outdated system that could be solved by you both picking up your nuts and speaking to one another.
But that’d mean hearing each other’s voice, incredibly intimate when you’ve drawn it out this long. You’d have to have something to talk about, be alone in each other’s presence, admit that there was-
Now what was there?
Every night of every week you were there until closing, walking with Astrid to her car, Bucky trailing a few steps behind the both of you. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was making sure you both made it safely. As soon as you both got in, he climbed on his motorcycle and wouldn’t see him again until the next evening.
The moment Astrid dropped you at your apartment, you’d sneak inside, thanking the gods that your roommate was asleep so you didn’t have any awkward hallway interactions. Instead, you lay in the centre of your bed and strangely enough, you thought of your bartender without a voice to even put to the man.
The next evening you were there, you found your mind straying from the work in front of you and heading into the conversation of the waitresses floating around you.
“No, but she’s like gorgeous,” Beanie groaned, putting her notepad in the pocket of her apron. “Bucky is so lucky, she’s just a dream.”
Your ears pricked up at the sound of his name being dropped, and without being able to control it, you found yourself travelling to a million different realities. Of course he had a girlfriend, a man that looks like that and makes a Singapore Sling that good cannot be single.
There was truly no reason to be sad right now, he wasn’t yours and never was. But maybe you enjoyed him paying special attention to you, especially after what the last guy did to you. Astrid did tell you that Bucky was a bit stone cold sometimes, he never used this special treatment on anyone else.
So here you were thinking you were special, and here was the universe pulling you into line again, reminding you in no uncertain terms that the world didn’t revolve around you.
You drank Bucky’s mew mocktails, but they didn’t taste as fun when you knew they weren’t genuine. Sure maybe the care was genuine, but there wasn’t anything behind it. You screwed up your face when you heard your own thoughts, you sounded like an actual fuckboy right now.
Gone are the days of alarmingly handsome men being able to gift a Moscow Mule in peace, no sex attached. You just had to go and set the women’s rights movement back a few years.
You scolded yourself silently, taking another sip of the drink and enjoying Bucky’s talents. You weren’t even in the headspace for a new man at the moment, so where were you getting off hoping the guy was single?
Lifting your head towards the bar, you found those blue eyes back on you. He stuttered for a moment, realising he’d been caught staring, so he lifted his eyebrow almost to say “what do you think?”
A smile formed on your face of its own accord, lifting your hand into a thumbs up you mouthed back “pretty damn good.”
And for the first time since you’d been coming here, you saw it. You saw the corners of Bucky’s pretty lips turn up into a smile as he nodded, looking awful proud of himself.
God damn it, your brain knew you weren’t ready but your heart didn’t seem to give a fuck.
Another night at the bar and as you came inside, your eyes went to your normal seat, only to find somebody already sitting in it. After a long day at work, you couldn’t help the childish groan drift out of your lips.
“I know,” Astrid caught you mid grumble as she started walking you over. “But there is a seat right here at the bar.”
Putting you in a stool, she wiped down the surface in front of you so you could lay out your papers to keep working. She gave your shoulders a squeeze and happened to hit the right spot, maybe it was her girlfriend you needed to be jealous of.
As she went to leave you be, you heard her call over her shoulder. “Bucky, she’s here.”
Your head snapped up, heat rising in your cheeks as Astrid scurried away to serve her tables. From the service door, a large frame took all of it up as Bucky appeared before you.
Watching the way his eyes scanned the room, they fixed on the spot you usually sat at before his brow furrowed in confusion. It wasn’t until his gaze drifted down and caught you at the bar, he nearly jumped in fright.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Astrid tells him when you arrive every night, like it’s something he looks forward to. You gave him a smile and a pathetic little wave as you tried to calm yourself down. The man has a girlfriend, he isn’t waiting for you.
Bucky smiled back, seemingly looking just as nervous as you felt. He quickly raised one finger, as if asking you to wait, before he spun around and started grabbing different bottles from the back shelf.
As you watched him work, you smelt a breeze of perfume drift past you, one that had become familiar. You reached out and grabbed Beanie by the wrist, deciding now was the best time to put yourself out of your misery.
“Bucky’s girlfriend must be the luckiest person on earth, with a man who makes drinks like that.”
Beanie scrunched up her nose in confusion, looking between the two of you.
“Girlfriend? You know something I don’t?”
You studied her gaze, matching that look of lacking in understanding.
“He must have a girlfriend, right?”
“Oh, the only woman in Bucky’s life is his dog, Daybreak,” She laughed, turning on her heel to leave. “You should see her, she’s gorgeous.”
A dog, a fucking dog. You’ve been stewing every night for about a week over a fucking dog. A curt laugh slipped past your lips and you didn’t even try to stop it, top tier stupidity and you actually deserved it.
Bucky turned to look over his shoulder, caught off guard by your chuckle as he’d missed the whole conversation over the noise of the bar. He just smiled, stirring the glass in front of him before sliding it across to you.
Sniffing it first, like you always did, it smelt heavenly like winter mint. Taking the first sip, it went down ridiculously well and you nodded in content before flashing Bucky a thumbs up. He placed his right hand over his heart nodding back to you. Your silent communication always said enough.
Bucky made you two more of those minty little things as you kept studying your spreadsheets. The bar patrons moved around you as the hours ticked on and you were so enveloped in your work it made you jump when you heard your name.
That and the voice that the word floated off of.
Turning in your stool, your ex boyfriend stood before you with his hands clasped together. Shaking your head, you went to spin back around but he stepped forward, hand reaching for your upper arm.
“I know you don’t want to see me but please let me explain.”
“Normally I’d say ‘fuck off’, but I’d love to hear an explanation for how you ended up fucking my roommate.”
He grimaced at the sound of you throwing his mistake back in his face. But truthfully, if he didn’t like the sound of it, maybe he shouldn’t have cheated.
“I know I fucked up, it was so stupid but it didn’t mean anything.”
“When did it stop meaning something? The third time? Maybe the 15th time? Please, enlighten me.”
A part of him seemed shocked, that you weren’t folding like a hand of cards and letting him take you home. Stupid boy should’ve realised you were a whole person before he met you, you’d go on without him.
“Alright, I know I deserve all this but I just want my baby back.”
You almost responded, your mouth opened to say something- anything, but someone else cut you to the chase.
“Your baby back? This isn’t Ruby-fucking-Tuesday’s, but you’re more than welcome to get the hell out of my bar.”
Turning behind you, you saw large hands gripping the wooden legs, squared up and unafraid. It didn’t register with you that this was the first time you’d heard Bucky’s voice until it was too late. A shiver shifted down your spine as you watched the way he stared the other man down.
“And who the hell are you?” Your ex had always been stupid, never knew when to stop running his mouth and keep it away from other girls.
“I’m the one that’s been keeping ‘your baby’ company each night since you fucked up so bad.”
Not to set the women’s rights movement back another few years, but there was something quite lovely about being fought over. Picking your drink back up, you sipped it slowly as you watched Bucky refuse to back down.
“You don’t know the first thing about her.”
“I know she’s far too smart to be wasting her time with you, so I won’t say it again, get the hell out of my bar.”
Your ex looked to you, stupidly thinking he’d find reprieve with you. Shrugging your shoulders and turning your gaze to Bucky you finally spoke. “This is delicious, you really are gifted.”
And with his tail tucked between his legs, you watched your ex trudge out of the bar, silently hoping that would be the last time you saw his sorry ass.
The only thing about him leaving was the silence that now sat between yourself and Bucky, having to come to terms with the fact your quiet little knowings have now become incredibly loud.
Still sipping away at your drink, thankfully Bucky found the notion to speak first. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get involved-“
Thinking he was finished you spoke up. “Please don’t apologise, I loved it.” As you were speaking, he finished with, “I really care about you.”
That shut the both of you up, back to quiet as you looked at each other across the bar. Patrons kept milling about around you but the world seemed to stop for you. In your own head, you asked for a sign, a sign that you should risk it all.
Bucky’s tongue came out to run across his lower lip and you swore you saw stars.
That wouldn’t normally stand as a sign but you were fine with a reach, you’d already decided he could’ve sneezed and that would work.
“You know, uh,” You cleared your throat, placing down your now empty glass. “I’ve always wondered what it was like to be on a motorcycle.”
Bucky nodded slowly in understanding, pulling the rag off his shoulder and placing it against the counter. “I’ve always wanted to show you what it’s like.”
“What time do you clock off?”
“Now, now’s good.”
The sound of your stool scraping against the wood floor drew Astrid’s gaze up as she moved through the crowd between the tables. Stopping beside your usual spot, she stood beside the man who’d taken your seat that night.
“Thank you, Albert,” She passed him the twenty dollar note. “It was about time they got moving.”
There was something incredibly intimate about being within close proximity of Bucky, let alone having him sat between your legs as your arms closed even tighter around his waist. You swore he zipped in and out of traffic on that bike just so you’d get even closer, and you were reasonably thankful for it.
Going from only hearing his voice moments before to being so close to him you could smell the Calvin Klein aftershave? There was a lot going on and it was enough to make your head spin. So you chose to relax into him, as much as you could with the helmet locked around your head.
You were nearly going to pout when you arrived at his house, but the moment he stretched his hand out to take yours and walk you in, he wasn’t leaving you with much to feel sorry about.
Now, there are many dangers about walking into a single man’s apartment, mainly the state it could be in. Bucky’s was beautiful, dark furniture and well looked after, everything was tidy and it actually smelt nice. You’d think he was straight out of the 40′s with manners and charm like this.
As you gazed around in awe of the first male apartment you’d been in without a fist-sized hole in the wall, you felt something brush against your legs. Looking down, you found a husky nearly at your hip height, bright blue eyes like her dad’s.
“Daybreak, go easy on her.” Bucky sounded from the kitchen, he’d already made his way in and started fishing around.
“That’s okay, you’re even more beautiful than I was told.” You cooed, your voice immediately catering just for her as you scratched around her ears.
“They told you about her?” Bucky chuckled as he worked, two highball glasses in front of him and a dark liquor starting to pour.
Your cheeks glowed hot as you thought about whether or not you should tell him of your monumental fuck up from earlier. Maybe he’d laugh? Or maybe he’d think you were a sociopath? Better to get it out now you supposed.
“I heard them talking, and I thought they were referring to your girlfriend, so they just cleared that up for me.” You caught Daybreak’s eye, busying yourself with her so you couldn’t see the gorgeous man stood a metre away and laughing at you.
“Yes, my incredibly fluffy girlfriend with disgusting breath and a habit of standing on my back when I sleep.” He shook his head, squeezing lime into the glass along with what you thought might’ve been bitters.
“Hey, whatever you’re into, I’m not going to judge!” You put your hands up in defense before going back to fluffing Daybreak’s coat.
Bucky stirred the drinks before sliding one across the counter top to you. Raising back up, you gratefully accepted it as he began to speak again. “You weren’t jealous were you?”
Your eyes widened, thinking on it for a moment with as much expression as possible. Avoiding the question entirely, you took a sip, feeling the warm ginger taste roll through you. 
“What do you call this one?”
“Answer my question and I’ll tell you.”
Narrowing your eyes, you bit the bullet. “I might’ve been a little jealous.”
“This one is called a ‘howling commando’, why were you jealous?”
“Raunchy name, I love it! What was the other minty one called?”
Bucky’s grin widened as he knew exactly what game you were playing, he couldn’t deny he was looking forward to a little tussle.
“Answer my question and I’ll tell you, those are the rules.”
You scrunched up your nose before giving in, he was hot and he had rules, there was simply no denying this man. “Maybe because you make me want to do very bad things to you.”
Bucky’s jaw went slack, but the corners of his mouth tweaked up into a smile as he thought carefully on his next move.
“The minty one is called a ‘winter soldier’, can you tell me what those very bad things are?”
Wrapping your lips around your paper straw, you kept your eyes closely fixed on his as you shrugged your shoulders. You drew back, letting the straw rest in the centre of your tongue as he followed your movements with intrigue.
“Or maybe I could just show you?”
With a swift movement, Bucky cleared the table with one hand and the other snaked around your waist, pulling you tight to his chest. You felt his lips glide across yours, as soft as you’d imagined and that bite of alcohol resting just past them.
Your hands came up to fist at his shirt, tugging him down so you could slip your tongue in and against his. He brought his other hand down to rest just behind your knee, picking you up in a swift motion and placing you against his kitchen counter.
Legs locking around him, you pulled him in as you gripped at his flannel over shirt to push it off his shoulders. Bucky took the hint, stripping the shirt off before getting onto his t-shirt. He stood before you bare-chested and beautiful, so much so that your breath caught in your throat.
A hint of a smirk started on his face but you shook your head, not prepared to let him have the joy of catching you off guard. You took his jaw in your hands and brought him back to your lips, reveling in the feeling of him on you.
Feeling his hands go for your waistband, you lifted your hips to let him get rid of your bottoms, the cold of kitchen tile against the backs of your thighs.
“You are so fucking beautiful, been thinking of you since the day you walked into my bar.”
Giggling into his mouth, you ran your hands down his neck and into the hair at the nape, tugging slightly. “I could say the same about you, pretty boy.”
You could’ve sworn Bucky growled, but you weren’t given enough time to dwell on it as he began to ease you back until you lay against the counter. His fingers went to the band of your underwear, slowly easing those down your legs.
Here you were, spread out in this mans kitchen like dinner and he was going to eat his share. A shiver ran through you that you could pinpoint to excitement as you felt his breath gently ghost over you.
His hands ran from your thighs all the way up to the hem of your shirt, sliding it up your body and underneath to palm at your chest. You knew he had big hands, it was one of the first things you noticed, but you weren’t prepared for how good they’d feel when he held you.
The moment you felt his mouth come down against your pussy, your whole back arched off the bench. You gripped at his forearms, nails digging in slightly as you rolled your lower half into his mouth. His tongue came out, running along your slit and moving against your clit.
You’d definitely been swindled into a shit deal with your ex, it never felt anything like this and Bucky had only just started. His name fell out of your throat as his tongue sped up, moving back down to your entrance and making your eyes nearly rolled back in your head.
Bucky pulled back one of his hands for only a moment so he could hook your legs over his shoulders, before he grabbed back at your breasts. The contrast between the rough skin of his fingers tweaking at your nipple, and the smooth metal on the other was driving you wild.
“How are you so good at this, what the fuck?” You babbled, back going up against as he flicked the tip of his tongue at your clit.
He chuckled into you, the sounds vibrating off of where you were most sensitive and hitting you straight in the core. You’d never had a man pay this much attention to you, know exactly where to go and what to do. It was damn near overwhelming and this was the bare minimum, god you’d been missing out.
Bringing one hand down, he pressed two fingers to your clit as his tongue moved back down. The pressure of his skilled digits against you and the speed of his tongue, you were doing your best to cry out his name but it wasn’t coming out right. Your brain couldn’t keep up with everything else.
Pressing your foot into his shoulder, you slipped your hand into his hair, locking into the roots and tugging tight against them. A moan fell out of Bucky and straight against you, rocking your pussy up against his lips. You had to forget everything you thought you knew about men. 
This was a man and he was going to change your life.
He swapped his fingers, slowly sliding them into you as his tongue moved back to your clit. The minute he bent those metal digits up, still pumping his wrist and working his mouth, it was all over.
You clenched down around him, his name flew high into the air as you shook against him, your wetness covering his chin as he moved to lap it up. Like a good boy, he let you get your breath, pulling back and cleaning off his fingers with his tongue.
“Don’t do that in front of me, you’ll make my heart stop.” You joked, throwing your arm over your eyes.
Bucky chuckled, taking a knee in each hand where you’d clamped your thighs together, slowly easing them apart. He tugged you along the bench until your legs were wrapped around him again.
“I can’t believe I just came, and that hard.” You admitted, finally able to cope with it all.
“That’s kind of the point, pretty baby.”
“Yeah but you haven’t even?”
The soft little patterns Bucky was tracing on your thigh came to a halt, almost making you whinge. He looked down at you with an expression of pure confusion before speaking up. 
“Wait, did your ex never make you come during foreplay?”
“Are you kidding?” You snorted, propping yourself up on elbows. “He barely made me come during sex.”
Bucky shook his head, looking physically wounded by what you were telling him. “Oh baby, this isn’t even for pleasure anymore, this is an act of service.”
You snorted at him, gripping his arms so you could pull yourself up to sitting. He tugged you even further until you were flush against him. His face was so close to yours, every part of him was so close.
“You’re being goofy, you’re lucky I think you’re hot.”
It was his turn to laugh, before he slipped his hand down, undoing his belt with a little of your assistance. As he shuffled his jeans and briefs down, you brought your hand to wrap around his length, and it nearly put you back on your ass.
So soft and remarkably beautiful for a dick, it was heavy as all hell as you wrapped your fingers around. So thick and built for two hands to stroke it, you knew that no matter what happened from here on out, you wouldn’t be forgetting about him soon.
“I knew you had a big dick, I could tell from the way you walked,” You said, spitting into your hand so you could stroke him. “But this is just fucking unreal.”
Bucky tried to laugh but you twisted your wrist at just the right time, it filtered off into a moan as his head dipped into the crook of your neck. “And you say I’m the goofy one.”
“Is baby getting all shy, can’t handle the fact he’s hung like a fucking horse?” You teased, running your fingers over his head.
Sucking in a breath, his hands came to grip your hips as you kept jerking him, simply enjoying the way he felt in your hands. “It is far too early for me to be telling you that if you keep talking like that, it will make me come.”
Dropping your mouth open, you turned towards him but ended up nuzzling your nose in his hair. His shampoo smelt incredible, not like a 3-in-1 but like an actual shampoo.
“Bucky, you are a fucking freak, I’m going to have so much fun with you.”
Pulling back from your neck, he gave you the toothiest grin before tipping his head back with a heady moan that made your pussy clench. He looked so beautiful moaning for you, completely at your will with his cock in your hand.
There was something so refreshing about this, your ex never let you have fun during sex, it was always so boring and so incredibly serious. You’d never laughed so much, played so much, and still come so hard your vision whited out.
Bucky took your hand off his dick, wrapping his own it as you tipped your hips back slightly. He lined up, laying his head against your entrance where you needed him most. He slowly slid in as your arms wrapped around his shoulders and gripped tight.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as he moved in, the stretch and burn something you hadn’t felt in a wee while, it took over you as he did his best to be gentle. You were starting to understand the meaning of “rearranging guts” as he got to the hilt.
You paused for a moment, breathing through as Bucky strained with all his might to not move. He’d never felt something so fucking tight and so fucking warm, he would lay money on it that you were made for him and he was always meant to find you.
Finally, you tapped on his shoulder and signaled him to move. He rolled his hips into you, the first few thrusts to find his rhythm before he really picked up. Your ankles crossed over above his ass, keeping him as close to you as you could as his speed increasingly picked up.
“God, this pussy feel so fucking good.” He groaned, hands coming down to lift your shirt back up.
You pulled it over your head, throwing it behind you with your bra as his hands immediately gripped back onto them. Lowering slightly, he brought his mouth to one of your nipples, lips wrapping around and sucking gently as his hips never let up.
Raking your fingers through his hair, you thought about those incredible noises he’d made moments before. Tugging gently, you earnt yourself another moan that rippled through you as you rolled your hips back into his.
“Bucky, faster,” Panting out your words, you gripped him tighter. “I want you to fuck me like you mean it.”
Bucky’s eyes cast up to you, locking with yours and in an instant he changed. One hand gripped your hip and the other braced against the counter as he surged forward into you. A rippling cry travelled out of your chest and broke in your throat, a pathetic moan replacing it.
“You calling me nasty but I think you’re just as bad as I am, hmm?”
You smiled up at him, leaning back slightly so he could watch the way your tits bounced for him as he fucked you. “I never said I wasn’t, I was the one who wanted to do the bad things.”
Bucky lent down, nose to nose with you and lips nearly touching. “You weren’t the only one who was thinking like that.”
His lips caught yours again as his tongue moved straight into your mouth. He pulled you back onto him and made your whole body tense up on him, a ridiculously good rhythm that was making your legs shake.
Slipping a hand in between you, his fingers worked quick against your clit as you tried to match his movements. Everything was becoming increasingly difficult as you could feel your second orgasm working its way through you.
“You’re so good, you make incredible drinks and you’re really good at this too.” You cried, gripping onto his forearm as your back arched up.
Hearing him chuckle through his staggered breaths, his fingers only picked up against where you were most sensitive. “You make spreadsheets look sexy, holy fuck.”
You would’ve laughed, it was a pretty good one, but the orgasm that tore straight through you only allowed you to cry his name. Pussy locked tight around him you nearly left the table as everything broke inside you. The tension that’d he’d created was cut and you came with a near scream.
Bucky coaxed you through it, telling you how pretty you were, how good you looked. All you could do was whimper for him, aftershocks moving through you as he worked closer to his own end.
You opened your eyes to see him in front of you, fisting his cock above you as he panted your name. You’d never heard or seen something quite as good as this, he was something else entirely.
He came with a cry, painting across your stomach as he fell against the bench top. The both of you frozen in time, collecting yourselves and letting your brains set back to normal. Propping yourself back up, you looked at the gorgeous man lent over the sink.
“I know you’ve just put in the hard work,” You reasoned gesturing to your state. “But I could really do with another drink.”
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shirophantomvox · 3 years ago
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Flower Pedals Hisoka x reader Part 2
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Part 1
❤️♣️❤️♣️
As the day went on, Hisoka volunteered as a chaperone to your younger cousins. They wanted to play in the water while Hisoka sat under a coconut tree, sipping on a strawberry margarita. It would be pointless for an intoxicated man to be a chaperone but he is quite immune to heavy alcohol. Somehow, the sun’s beautiful reflection made Hisoka look like the man you slowly fell for. His job as a bodyguard for the most dangerous mafia in the country, his ability to speak French like a flipped switch, and of course his bulging muscles. Seeing him interact well with your cousins made him seem father-like. But why did he have to act so egotistical? Why couldn’t he be like the guys you saw on the Hallmark channel? Is being loved that hard to ask for? Then the hurtful incident earlier that day entered your mind once again. You didn’t want to break up with Hisoka but it was the only choice.
A tear ran down your face, something you hadn’t done in a while. A silent weep is something everyone needs to do once in a while but weeping in front of others can feel humiliating. Suddenly, you hear a knock on your door and someone enters without your permission. You quickly wiped your tears away and turned around quickly expecting it to be Hisoka. Instead, it was your beloved uncle smiling with a DVD in one hand and popcorn in the other but once he got a quick glimpse of your sad face, his smile disappeared. This time he didn’t run to your rescue but rather asked what’s wrong from a distance. He already knew it had to do with Hisoka but he was curious to hear more.
“Is it about your boyfriend?”
“Yes…”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Physically, no. Emotionally, yes. He has flirted with many people and disregards that I am there. He used to be all over me and now he acts as if I do not exist!”
“That’s horrible. But I have to break it to you. Some men like it when their significant others are jealous. It’s thrilling to them. If you dislike that, you should tell him.”
“I have! He will not listen to me!”
Your uncle grunted in anger and shook his head. He placed his index finger and thumb under his chin, thinking hard about something. Tears rolled from your eyes and felt like they could not stop.
“Come with me, darling.”
Following behind your uncle like a 5-year-old, he led the way to his newly renovated basement, and in that basement stood something that mimicked a lab. He removed a large blanket that covered a table full of glass test tubes and pink liquid. You were hopelessly confused as to why your uncle was smiling at his little creation.
“Uncle…what is all this?”
“Can you guess?”
“Sorry. I have no idea what it is.”
“It’s a love potion!”
You gasp and step back rather far from him. You frowned, not believing what your uncle has told you. Love potions were depicted and always fictional; they simply don’t exist. Hell, Cupid DOES NOT exist and yet he claims that he has made a love potion?! You have always known your uncle to be a wacky man but NOT THIS wacky! Not only did he have a small test tube of this love potion but he had at least 100 small bottles of it too!
“Uncle….don’t tell me…”
“Maybe Hisoka can take a shot of this…”
“U/N! No! That’s wrong!”
“Huh?”
“If he doesn’t love me anymore, I’ll break up with him. Plain and simple.”
“But y/n!-“
“No buts!”
Gosh, you sound like your aunt!
“Why do you have that anyway? I could have sworn you and auntie madly in love anyway.”
“We are….” He stopped talking for a brief moment as he made his way to the door. He did not want your aunt to overhear him speak or else she’d have his head.
“We’ve had a few tiffs lately and she is being distant. I was thinking of giving her this potion.”
“You can’t just…give her that! What if she’s allergic to any ingredient you put in there?”
“SHHH! It’s not a drug, ok darling? It’s essentially a cupid’s arrow in liquid form.”
“Oh yeah! And Santa Claus is real, right? Come on Unc. I’m going to sleep now.”
“Y/N wait! Wait!” Your uncle ran up the stairs after you to try and have an actual heart-to-heart conversation with you. In reality, The love potion wasn’t anything that would harm Hisoka or your auntie; it was something that everyone had. This “love potion” has many variants in the market already. It has its own juice, pop, and merchandise line. When people gave testimonies about them falling madly in love with their partners, you thought it was an absolute joke!
The day had reached 11 PM. The sun had set for the day and the bright stars shined brightly against the beach. Chrollo and the others had left hours ago probably forgetting that you and Hisoka had tagged along. As you cleared the dinner table, the love potion sat there, in its small slender glass frame. This had been extracted so it could be digested but still, you didn’t go anywhere near it.
“Don’t leave this unattended. If a person drinks too much, they’ll become a fool for you and as romantic as that sounds, it can be VERY overwhelming.”
As you turned the lights off downstairs, the front door barreled open. Your eyes had been adjusted to light for the last few hours; seeing in the dark was nearly impossible. But one thing is for sure, that infamous bubble gum small dashed towards your nostrils.
Hisoka.
The lights turned on once again and this time, they began to flicker a little. Hisoka’s piercing golden eyes were able to grab a hold of yours instantly. It felt like you were paralyzed with sudden fear and anger. So many emotions raged throughout your body; your brain sending many signals to the various parts of your body. Both of your cousins come running in, arms stuck out like airplanes zooming all through the living room. One flew underneath Hisoka’s legs and the other flew many times around you. Their sudden joy made you smile a little; they were so full of joy and hope…that is until they grow up.
“I like your boyfriend, y/n!”
“Yeah! He’s so fun! He taught me how to play Poker!”
“You what?!”
“Hey! She needs to know in case she needs to make some cash.”
“Ok, you two. Up to bed. Mom and Dad are waiting for you.”
Both of your cousins zoom into their rooms making loud airplane noises.
“I must admit, I see potential in those kids. They made their own marshmallows, mingled amongst people their age, and even reminded me when their bedtime was.”
He looked from the staircase to you. “Thank you for—“ he stopped as he looked at your angry face.
“—Are you still mad about earlier?”
“What do you think, jerk?”
“Would you stop playing hard to get? You haven’t given me a kiss today.” He bent down and puckered his lips, expecting you to respond. Instead, you turn the lights off leaving a kiss-less Hisoka in the dark. Hisoka stood in the middle of the dark living room beyond confused at your actions.
Finally! Alone at last. No one to interrupt your thoughts or sleep, just you in your auntie’s guest room. The bed was extra comfy! It was so fluffy that it almost made you get up and inside Hisoka to sleep with you.
“No. He needs to learn his lesson,” you thought to yourself. Besides, a non-married couple sleeping in the same bed together was NOT going to fly in this house. Before you knew it, your eyes were closed for what felt like 20 minutes but were actually 8 hours. The sun beamed through the curtains acting as your silent alarm clock. Stretching your muscles and yawing felt amazing after a good night’s sleep. Checking your phone was a reflex but feeling an odd source of shadows made you freeze. As you slowly turned around, Hisoka was laying in your bed, with his boxers on, smiling, and gawking at you; something he’d never done. You thought rubbing your eyes twice would make him go away, but he was still there in the flesh. Still angry about yesterday's encounter, you stare at him plainly.
“What in the world are you doing here, Hisoka?”
“To be with you, of course, my dear.” His tone was much softer; it felt as if he was barely moving his tongue. His lips slightly puckered as he spoke. Your boyfriend was always mysterious but it can be said that he was never predictable.
“What are you talking about?”
He scoots closer to you; his bare chest rubbing against your right arm. He places his left arm around your neck pulling you closer. So close that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. He took his index knuckle, placed it under your chin, and lifted.
“Oh, how I missed your face…the sound of your voice…my heart aches for you.”
You blink twice.
Am I dreaming? What is going on here?!
“Hisoka—“
He placed his index finger over your lips; his long nail gently scratches the top part. “Shhh….” Quickly but softly, Hisoka gives you a kiss but not just an ordinary kiss, one that is very breathtaking. His lips were much softer than you remember and a lot moister. He didn’t force anything; he gently moved his lips to make you more comfortable. What felt like a lifetime was truly only 10 seconds and on the 11th, he parted. Gazing into his golden eyes this time made your heart skip a beat. You remained silent, slightly afraid to say a word as he stared into your eyes deeply. This was not his blood-lust look at all but awfully similar. His eyes were half-lidded but they were soft, much softer than you had seen before. Just as you were about to say something, he gently grabs your face and begins to kiss you all around without remorse. This overwhelming amount of affection not only made you bluff but be utterly embarrassed if your aunt and uncle caught you two in this state. It’s more of the family “aww’ ing” than anything else.
“How did Hisoka suddenly do a 360 from last night?”
“Might as well enjoy this while it lasts.”
Hisoka continued to place soft kisses. He began to pepper your lower jaw with them, earning a slightly satisfied grunt from yourself. He then professed his love for you as he kissed you in between phrases. The magician himself was as red as an apple while you were a giggling mess. He moved his lips to another part of your body. His hand kisses felt amazing once more. He moved his way up your arm and to your shoulder.
“You smell terrific, kitten,” he said in a lower huskier voice.
You growl in response; something so embarrassing that you are happy your nosy little cousins did not hear.
“You’re so adorable, kitten. So delicate that I’d be afraid to touch. So beautiful like the colors and aroma omitting from a blossom tree.”
“I love you to the moon and back.”
Before Hisoka said another word, he placed his right hand where the bottom of your head and neck met. He gently caressed it as he pressed his forehead against yours. The soft feeling of his nose moving swiftly against yours felt like ecstasy. Nothing could ruin this moment.
“Hisoka’s a simp!”
Both of you jerked your heads to the door. Through the crack, you could see two curious pairs of eyes, staring into your room. Before Hisoka could leave the bed, you jump over him and march to the door.
“You know, it’s rude to stalk people in their bedrooms.”
“And? It’s rude for you to be staying the night in my beach house and not giving us any money. Hand it over sis.”
You close the door and jump back into bed with your new boyfriend. Hisoka practically had hearts in his eyes. It’s as if he saw no one but you.
Maybe he has changed….
Your uncle’s voice could be heard a distance away and that’s when it hit you.
“Don’t leave this unattended. If a person drinks too much, they’ll become a fool for you and as romantic as that sounds, it can be VERY overwhelming.”
Oh shit! Where is the potion?! No! It was left on the table last night!”
"Really, Unc? I think I can deal with this. After all, he is less insufferable. I’ve always wanted my beau back and I hope he remains this way…falling on his knees before me."
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To be continued....
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softboywriting · 4 years ago
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Hard To Love | Nathan Bateman | Ex Machina
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Summary: You’re Nathan’s personal assistant. He’s an insufferable bastard. Both of you have unchecked tension and feelings for each other. What could possibly go wrong? [swearing] [sexual themes/situations] [arguments] [exhibitonism - implied] [pining] [Dominant!Nathan] [Nickname use - pet name/non derogatory] [Nathan being Nathan] [nsfw - kissing, lap sitting/grinding, heavily implied masturbation!f reader] [F!reader/Nathan]
Word Count: 7k
|Masterlist In Bio|
Nathan is...well... Nathan. Insufferable, workaholic, egotistical. He is a lot to handle and doing so isn't always easy. You had a lot of breakdowns, screaming matches, some nearly coming to blows. But you didn't give up and you learned to work around him, and coax him out of moods, serve him back the same dry humor and disinterest. After finding out he had gone through four assistants, two that never made it past their first week, you knew you couldn't give up on him. There was a diamond in the rough and you were going to find it because despite all of the hard times, you care for him. He's a fucking bastard, but he's your fucking bastard.
"It's been six months." Nathan says over breakfast one morning.
You look back from where you're cleaning up the pans you used to make his vegetable omelet with soy egg substitute. His favorite. You had taken over cooking from Kyoko three months ago when she began to malfunction. You're not sure what happened, or if maybe Nathan staged the malfunction to give you more to do. You suspect the latter.
"Six months? Really?"
"Don't act like you don't count the days."
"I don't actually." You set your plate of food on the table and he reaches for one of your toasts. He has his own, well, had. He ate it already but he has egg left so he wants more toast. "I stopped months ago."
He chuckles softly. "I still don't know why you won't quit."
"Why do you want me to?"
"I don't."
"Then why do you bring it up?" You raise your eyebrows and he shoots you a look over his vitamin water. "Cat got your tongue?"
Nathan folds his hands, elbows on the table as he shakes his head. "Most people in your position, having dealt with what you have dealt with, would be itching to get as far away as possible. Surely you must be mentally unstable to stay with me, gaining some sick pleasure from our fights and shit. I almost feel bad."
He almost feels bad, as if he were to blame for nothing. Typical. "And if I am fucked up? Gonna fire me?"
"Fuck no."
You smile over your coffee. Decaf. He won't have regular in the house after he nearly went into cardiac arrest from an over abundance of caffeine. He did it to himself. Slugging back redbulls with his vodka after drinking his pre-work out mix that had far more than he needed in it. He may be a technical genius but he can be such a fucking moron.
"You like me." You tease, rubbing your barefoot on his leg under the table. "You would miss me if I left."
He snorts indignantly but does not deny your observations.
"How was the food?"
"Perfect." He sits back, foot bumping yours now, running up the side. "Don't know how you do it."
"Perfect? Wow. High praise from you." You swat his foot away with yours and he starts trying to pin it down by stepping on it. "Better than Kyoko's?"
Nathan hums. "I programmed her with cooking skills from top chefs across the internet. Technically she should be the greatest chef on the planet. So the fact that you can make me food that is better floors me."
You hook your ankle around his and he lets out a little grunt. "Cooking is an act of love. Yes you can program an AI to make things perfectly but technical skill doesn't equate to preferred taste. Come on, Nathan, you're smarter than this."
"Questioning my intelligence now?"
"Every day." You jerk your leg back as he lifts his other foot to trap it. "Cheat! You cheater! One foot only!"
Nathan lets out a boisterous laugh, head falling back, hand over his chest. "You get so worked up over that!"
You roll your eyes and stab your eggs viciously. "Fuck off Nathan."
"No need to get so mouthy."
"Mouthy." You scoff. "Rich coming from you."
He stands, catching your chin in his grasp. "I got you to break."
"You- oh God damn it." You jerk away, arm extending to shove him.
He chuckles proudly to himself. "I'll be in my lab. Find me if you need me."
"Gonna let me in today?"
"I might."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you later."
____________________
Nathan could have the AI clean the house, but then you would run out of things to do. Honestly your job could be done by any one of his creations, humanoid or not. You don't actually need to be there at all, and yet Nathan keeps you around. For a man who is hell bent on privacy and secrecy surrounding his work, you have no idea how he has let others in. He laughs when he says that he had the men who built the complex killed after the fact. Surely it's a joke. You think. Though you've never asked, never dared to investigate the truth in his words. It's best you don't know.
The house doesn't need cleaning that often. Just laundry, dishes, some sweeping and mopping should you or Nathan track in mud after a hike. Most chores take a few hours out of one day a week. Your title is assistant and yet you don't actually assist him. Not in his work anyway. You feel like your title should be maid or housekeeper. It's fine, you really don't care because he pays you so generously that you would do whatever he needs you to.
"Kitten!" Nathan's voice comes from the intercom system built in the house. "Come to the lab, kitten."
You scowl at the nickname. He dubbed you Kitten your second day at the complex because he thought your wandering around perplexed by the maze like design of the house was akin to a new kitten trying to find its way in the world. You suppose there could be worse names he could call you, and there are ones that have come out in screaming matches, but kitten has stuck.
"Lab. Now. Come on."
"Fuck." You groan, tossing aside your book you were getting very into.
"I heard that."
"Of course you did." You lift your badge and scan the door to your room to head out into the hall. One of the AI walks by and you think her name is Lily. She's beautiful. Unfortunately her programming has failed and she cannot speak. "Hi Lily."
Lily raises her hand in greeting.
If she is out then that must mean Nathan has been working on her. You turn away from the AI and walk down the hall to the junction that splits left to Nathan's room and right to another hall that goes to the lab and test rooms. The lab door is open, the light blue on the access pad.
Nathan spins around in his chair. "Kitten, you've made it."
"As if I could get lost."
"I have something to show you."
"Do you? I thought you didn't want me involved in your work."
Nathan gives you a hard look. "Do you want to fucking see it or not?"
"I don't even know what it is."
He grabs a small item off his desk and brings it to you. "This is it. My newest AI."
You take the small flash drive from him and turn it over in your hands. "This is a new program?"
"Yes. My best work yet. I'm going to build her this week."
"Exciting."
"Please show some enthusiasm for fucks sake." He snatches the device from your hand. "I'm kind enough to share this with you, you could at least say thank you."
"I never asked."
Nathan slaps the flash drive down on the desk and stares at you. He is not used to being served his own cold attitude and he never will be. Since you started going toe to toe with him, he has been on top of his game. It's like you engage his mind beyond his massive ego. "You're insufferable."
"Likewise." You smile and he smiles back. The pissing match has ended. "I need to get groceries soon."
"You know what I like."
"Of course I do." You fold your arms over your chest and he averts his eyes for a moment. You know he's staring at your breasts, pushed up in the tank top you had chosen to wear while deep cleaning your bathroom earlier. "But what do you want?"
"Loaded question, kitten."
"Going that route today?"
"Maybe." He saunters towards you and catches your hair between his fingers. "I want... something sweet."
You raise your eyebrows. "You're craving sugar? Are you ill?"
He chuckles. "A little. Just in the head."
"Seriously."
"Yes I want something sweet. Get me some donuts." He puts his hands on his hips. "Get yourself something too."
"I always get myself stuff. Do you think I only buy your groceries?"
"It's my house, of course I think you buy my shit."
You reach out and touch his beard, fingertips gliding along his cheek. You don't miss the way his eyes flutter at your touch. "Do you need your beard oil? The conditioner stuff? Looks dry."
He grabs your hand and curls his fingers around yours. "Yes, I do. But don't touch it."
"Possessive today huh?" You smirk and he groans irritably deep in his throat. "You live for my touch."
"I live for you to leave me the fuck alone."
"Then fire me."
"No."
"Then suffer." You bring your other hand up and pat his opposite cheek. "Does physical affection bother you Nathan? Does touching another human bother you so mu-"
He backs you against the wall and pins your wrists. His face is only inches from yours, body pouring heat onto you. It sparks something deep inside and you feel heat pooling in between your legs. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" He murmurs, grip tight on your skin.
"Don't you have some issues to work out?"
"Fuck you."
"You'd like to."
Nathan drops your wrists at that and retreats into the lab, the door closing and locking behind him. It drives him mad that you're not one of his AI that he can order around and do what he pleases with. You like to think that's why he keeps you around, to remind him that he's human and he needs someone that isn't an algorithm to keep him sane. Maybe he also let a little piece of you crave out a chunk of his icy cold heart.
You rub your wrists and look at the reddened skin. They might bruise. You straighten your clothes and head back to your room. You'll need to wear something more appropriate to the store. It's cold out these days.
_____________________
"Do you get lonely?" Nathan asks one evening over drinks in the lounge.
You put down your laptop and give him your attention. It's the first time he's spoken to you in two days since the wrist grabbing incident. "Lonely?"
"Yeah. Do you miss relationships? Hook ups?"
"Not really. I was never super social to begin with."
"Right."
"Why?"
"Just curious." He takes a long drink, emptying his tumbler. "Why do you think I want to fuck you?"
You feel your cheeks redden. The way he is staring at you makes your arousal rear its ugly head. Staring shouldn't turn you on. He hasn't done anything. "I think you're desperate."
"Desperate?"
"Yeah. You decommissioned Kyoko months ago, Lily doesn't have a vagina and yes I know this because you told me in a drunken stupor ages ago. So you haven't fucked anything or anyone in months."
"You think I need to fuck?"
You stand and walk over to him, knocking his knees open to stand between his legs. "Nathan, just fucking admit that you want me. That you keep me around because one day you'll grow a pair of balls and ask me to sleep with you."
His hands come up and grab your hips. He pulls you down and you straddle his lap, thin pajama pants hardly acting as a barrier between you and his cock in his gray sweats. "I keep you around because you piss me off." He grips your ass and you roll your hips against him. "You piss me off and make my blood boil like no one else."
"So you hate me?"
Nathan brings your head down to meet his. "I couldn't hate you if I tried."
"Then what are we doing?"
"We're having a moment." He grabs your hair and you snap at his nose with your teeth in response. "Behave."
You let out a moan as he begins kissing up your throat. "This was your plan all along."
"Do you ever shut up?"
"No."
"Then I'll make you." His hand closes around your throat, applying just enough pressure to make you stop talking. "Why do you have to be so in my head? Why..." He kisses your shoulder, biting the junction between it and your neck. "Why did you have to show up?"
"You hired me." You whisper and he drops his hand from your throat in favor of sliding it up your shirt. "You selected me."
He rolls his hips up against you, biting down on your skin to elicit a yelp from you. "You're damn right I did."
You grind down against his cock and he grabs your hips to still them. You let out a soft whine from the lack of pleasure and he grips harder.
"Get up."
Your heart sinks, and you stare at him in confusion. "What?"
"Get up. We're not doing this." Nathan pushes you off of his lap and you stumble to your feet.
You straighten your clothes and walk around the coffee table to grab your laptop. You can't say you didn't expect this. It was a long shot to begin with and you initiated it so you knew he would shut it down. Still, it hurts. His rejection isn't disinterest, it's personal protection. He won't let anyone that close to his heart.
"Good night, Nathan." You mutter as you head for the doors to the inner workings of the complex.
"Night, Kitten."
_____________________
It is three days before you see Nathan again. Locking himself away isn't uncommon practice. It's a Thursday when you see him out on the deck with the punching bag. You happened to catch a glance when you were preparing breakfast as you had every day. He didn't eat with you, but you still made it for him and left it under the warmer. The plate was always gone when you came back, so at least you know he is eating.
You grab a few grapefruits from the basket on the counter and start juicing them. It'll be a nice surprise for him. You grab a cup from the cupboard and tilt the juicer to dump its contents for you. It looks good, smells tart but it is not your type of juice. Fitting for a man like Nathan. Bitter, tart and sort of hard to swallow. You rub a bit of the squeezed rinde around the top of the glass and grab the sugar dish to sprinkle some around the rim. A little sweet to lessen the bite, a representation of you in this metaphor.
"Kitten, good morning." Nathan says as you approach with his juice and a towel. "What's this?"
"Grapefruit."
He raises his eyebrows. "Fresh?"
"Yep." You hand him the glass and he inspects it suspiciously. "No poison. Promise."
A smile creeps it's way across his face as he gulps it down. He takes a moment at the end to lick the sugar clean from the rim, keeping his eyes on yours the whole time. It's far more sexual than you think it should be, and it was never your intent to get this response.
"Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes." You pass him the towel and take the glass.
Nathan scrubs the towel over his face and rests it around his neck. "I'm going for a hike later."
"Okay?"
"You're going with me." He turns back to the punching bag and starts his routine back up. "Be ready at nine."
You sigh. "Alright."
_____________________
Nathan's idea of a hike and your idea of a hike vary greatly. You view a hike as wandering around the forest along trails and seeing the beauty of nature before you. Leisurely pace, breaks, maybe a snack or two and some photos for the memories. Nathan however thinks hikes are treacherous climbs up cliffs and rock jumping across rivers and streams. He goes as quick as possible as if he's trying to get somewhere and he's going to be late. It's hardly relaxing.
"Come on, why are you so slow?" Nathan barks from atop a rock some several yards ahead of you.
You're panting, legs pushed to their limit from the half an hour long uphill climb you've just endured. You have no idea how he isn't even winded.
"Fuck off Nathan!" You huff, grabbing a scrubby looking tree for support as you haul yourself up over a broken chunk of the path. A game trail, not even a proper walking path.
He laughs, his voice echoing off the cliffs surrounding you. "You can do it, Kitten! Get that little ass up here!"
You finally reach him, your lungs threatening to explode. "First of all, this isn't a hike it's a rock climbing marathon." You hold a finger up to his face threateningly. "And second, my ass isn't little."
"Oh I know." He folds his arms over his chest.
"So you stare at my ass a lot then?"
"I'm a heterosexual man. Of course I'm going to look at your ass."
You roll your eyes. "Thanks for the objectification."
"You're welcome."
"Can we take a break here? My legs are killing me."
Nathan stretches his arms up and back. "This is why I brought you with me."
"Why?"
"So you can get some exercise. Your stamina is shit."
You glance to the drop off below then back at him. "You wanna keep insulting me?"
"Facts are not insults."
"I will push you off this cliff, Nathan."
He steps away from the edge and closer to you. He doesn't say anything about it. Doesn't apologize for the comments about your stamina and needing to work out more. He reaches for your face, plucking something off of your cheek. "Eyelash."
"Make a wish."
"Wishes are for children." He flicks his finger off to the side.
"I wish my boss would get his head out of his ass." You smirk triumphantly. "Is that a child's wish?"
Nathan flicks his eyes up and down your face, eyes settling on the bite bruise peaking out from under your sweatshirt collar. You had forgotten about it until this very moment, when you realize he hadn't seen it yet. "Is that mine?"
"Of course. Who else has been biting me out here in the middle of nowhere?" You reach up to touch it and he shoves your hand away to pull the fabric aside for himself.
"No one else can touch you."
Heat blossoms in your stomach at his jealousy tinged words. Possessive Nathan really does it for you. But he isn't your boyfriend. He is your boss. "I'm not yours Nathan."
His fingertips ghost over the nearly healed bruise. "Yes you are."
"I'm not."
"Then why don't you leave?"
You shove his hand off your shoulder and he gives you one of his famed deadly glares for doing something he doesn't like. "You don't want me. So I can't be yours."
"It's not that I don't want you, I can't have you." He turns and starts walking away, resuming the hike. How very like him. He says something stupidly cryptic that only makes sense to him. Whatever. You're not here for his affection and approval. You're here to be his assistant.
____________________
"I'm out of alcohol." Nathan states plainly, looking into the cupboard that usually has a few bottles of his favorite liquors. "Where is my shit?"
You look over from the fridge and smirk to yourself. "I thought you were on a detox again."
"I'm done with it. Where..." He turns and looks at you. "You didn't buy anything."
"Nope. I was told not to."
"By who?"
"You."
He purses his lips and looks around as if thinking about when he would have ever said that to you. He looks perplexed and you feel so smug. "Since when do you ever listen to me?"
You laugh softly. This is your fault now? Following his orders and not buying alcohol? Really.
"You're my boss. I usually follow your orders."
Nathan kicks the cupboard closed lightly. "Stop that."
"Stop what? Following your instructions?"
"Stop fucking with my head." He leans on the counter and takes his glasses off to dig his palms into his eyes. "You're so fucking irritating."
"Sure am." You gather some utensils from the counter that you left to dry and begin to put them away. "I live to make you suffer."
Nathan pulls his hands from his eyes and stares at you, eyebrows furrowed. It's like you're a puzzle and he's trying to see the solution. "Sometimes I wonder."
"You're being a baby."
"Excuse me?"
You walk over and stand in front of him, hands on your hips, mimicking his pose when he explains things to you. He doesn't fail to notice this as his eyes sweep over you in assessment and he raises his head as if challenging you. "You're only saying I'm irritating and making you suffer because you can't drink. It's been what? A week?"
"Eight days."
"A week. I'm sure you can make it another two weeks."
"You're fucking joking."
"Nope. I'm not going into town for groceries again until absolutely necessary. It's a three hour flight there and then back, remember?"
Nathan clenches the edge of the counter top with white knuckles.
"Get as pissed as you want." You lean in close and he nearly moves back. You know he won't back down from a challenge. "Maybe you'll have to face your demons sober. Maybe you'll figure your shit out."
"I didn't hire you to be my fucking therapist."
"Yet here I am."
Nathan pushes off the counter and grabs the bottle of water you set out for him before he goes off to lock himself in his lab for God knows how long. Ever since you came on to him he seems to be jumpy around you. You don't know why he won't just admit that he likes you, that he wants you. He is going to get blue balls sooner or later. Well, maybe not because he can jack off but actual sex isn't the same and you know he has a sex drive through the roof. You used to hear it at all hours of the morning before he deactivated Kyoko. You'd be lying if you said you didn't get off on it a few times.
_____________________
Days and days pass without a word from Nathan. Ten is now the most you've ever gone and after five you start to wonder if he is even in the house. Maybe he went for a walk and fell in the river. Maybe he pissed off his AI again and it finally strangled him. You would have no idea because the place is so huge and quiet for the most part. Aside from living quarters the complex is soundproofed. One would think Nathan's room beside yours would be for privacy but it's not. The freak. He wants people to hear him.
At the twelfth day mark you actually begin to worry. A twenty day sober Nathan may be a new kind of animal and you're not sure if you truly want to interact. Distance makes the heart grow fond though and while he is insufferable you do care for him and wish to see his stupid smug face. It's a risk but one you need to take.
The light on the lab door is red. Locked. You raise your key card and it buzzes, remaining red. He's denied your access to the lab. Shocker. You press the com button on the wall but it doesn't connect. He's shut that off too.
You lean your head on the cool cement wall and sigh. One more day. You'll give it one more day. If he doesn't show his face you'll get the override key card that resides in the hidden box in the bathroom. You found it ages ago, by pure accident. You've never used it and he has no idea that you even know about it. But you'll do what you have to do.
______________________
Morning of the next day you find yourself in bed, looking around the soft cream colored walls. An idea comes to mind. A dirty, dirty idea. You know Nathan has cameras in every room. He's too anal about protectng his work not to. Plus he has major trust issues.
You lean over the side of the bed and pull open the nightstand drawer. Inside is a small vibrator that you brought with you when you moved in. There's another box in there too. One that was there when you opened the drawer the first night. On the top it says "For your needs, because you're only human."
Of course you opened the box out of curiosity, Nathan had said everything in the room was for you so it wasn't snooping. In the box was a dildo, some lube and a little bullet vibrator. You had never used them, finding the gift too personal and odd. Complimentary soap? Normal. Complimentary extra blankets and pillows? Thoughtful. Complimentary sex toys? Insane. Until you got to know Nathan, you thought it was the weirdest thing ever. In fact, you forgot about the box after a while as you hadn't had the urge to get off until recently. Today however, you're going to make a show of it in hopes of getting his attention.
You dump the contents of the box on the bed and pick up the dildo, wrapping your fingers around it. It's life like, fleshy and soft but firm enough for it's intended use. It's bigger than you might usually prefer but nothing you can't handle with some extra time. And you've got nothing but time. You take a glance around the room, not seeing any obvious surveillance cameras. This may be for nothing.
You make quick work of your pajamas, toss aside the blankets and prop yourself against the headboard. You decide to keep your gaze fixed on the television, imagining it's where he is watching from. You close your eyes and let your hands start to wander, doing thier thing while your mind runs wild.
Time passes slowly as you work yourself over, adjusting to the dildo and working yourself into a heated frenzy. It would be easier if you had something to watch, some porn or something. You're not intent on making yourself come, but you will if it comes to that. You just want to put on a show to draw him out. That's what you're telling yourself anyway.
The power goes out, darkening the room and thrusting you into silence. The back up system announces its engagement and the emergency lights come up red. You sit up and lean your head back against the headboard. Great. You toss the toys aside and get up, pulling on your pajamas. You go to the door, punch in the code for manual override during power failure. Nathan is such a nerd. It's not a specific number but rather the theme to Star Wars.
The door clicks open and you go out into the hall. No one in sight, not that you really expected anyone. "Nathan!" You call out, heading for the lab door. Everything is eerie red and you don't like it. "Power is out!"
No response.
"Nathan James Bateman!" You sing song as you slide your card on the lab door. It buzzes. "I know you hear me you fuck!"
"Power restored. All systems active."
The hall turns white, back to the bright daylight simulated lighting. You lift your key card up in hopes that the system turned off his lock out coding for your card. Sure enough it turns blue and the door clicks open. Relief washes over you as you step into the darkened office where his computer is set up, notes on the wall, security feeds pulled up on two of the monitors. The door to the actual lab is open and you walk through into the bright area.
"Nate?" You call out, the nickname slipping out as your voice wavers a bit when you don't see him anywhere.
"Kitten?"
You spin around and see the man you seek emerge from a doorway. It's the server closet where the breaker box is. "Hey."
"How'd you get in here?"
"The power failure reset the lock codes."
"You can leave."
"Nathan, you haven't been out in almost two weeks. I'm starting to get worried. What are you eating? Are you sleeping?"
"I'm fine."
You give him a once over. Wrinkled clothes. Disheveled beard. Hair grown out longer than you remember, still buzzed but not so close. His skin is dull and lifeless. "You look like shit."
"What's new?"
"Oh come on. You're more vain than that. What are you doing in here anyway? Why the power failure?"
"Fuck off."
"What an original come back. I've been trying to get your attention for days. The fact that it took a power outage for me to get to you is sad." You walk up to him and touch his chest, there is a little bit of dried blood smeared on his shirt. A cut on his hand most likely. "Nathan, talk to me."
Nathan pushes away from you and goes to his design table where there are blueprints laid out for an AI.
"Nathan."
"Leave." There is no venom in his tone. If anything he sounds pleading.
You decide to make a bold move and wrap your arms around his shoulders. He stiffens, hands stilling on the table, pen falling from his fingers. "Please talk to me."
"Just go. I don't want to talk to you."
"Fine. Dinner is at six." You pause at the doorway to the office area. "Did you hear me?"
"Six."
"Good."
_____________________
Things fall back into a normal rhythm in the days following. You do your work and he does his. You eat together, go for walks, talk about his progress on the new AI. Everything seems to be back to it’s usual flow, how it always happened after big arguments or falling outs.
So while you’re sitting in the lab watching him work one day and he asks you about the dildo in the bedside table you're thrown for a loop. It’s far from his usual choice of topics and you had actually forgotten all about it. His mentioning of it brings back the memory of when you were laid out on your bed, literally masturbating to try and get his attention. Christ what a desperate move that was. Stupid.
"So have you opened it?"
"The dildo box? Yeah I've opened it." You try to remain casual as you discuss something so personal. You definitely aren’t thinking about how good it felt.
He smirks. "Used it?"
"No." A bold lie. He has no idea. He never saw you in your bedroom. At least you don't think he did. Why would he ask about it if he had? Why is he asking about it at all?
“You’re a shitty liar.” He turns around in his chair and faces you, pushing his glasses up off the end of his nose. “Did you like it?”
“I haven’t used it.”
“Do you want me to bring up the video? I will.” He stands and heads to the office. “Come on, come here.”
You slide off the table and walk behind him in your shame, cheeks hot. You knew you shouldn’t have lied. Of course he was testing you. It's Nathan for fucks sake. He gestures to his rolling chair and you take a seat while he leans over the desk and clicks around on files on the desktop. “Is this really necessary?”
“Yeah. It is.” He opens a play back window and you can see the view of your room. No surprise. You try to figure out where the hell this camera is based on the angle. It seems to be the top left corner above your closet but as far as you remember there is nothing there. “Oh, there you are.”
“Nathan.”
“No, no watch.” He points to the screen as you toss and turn on the bed. He speeds up the playback as you get into the drawer and get the box out. You deliberately clear the bed, undress, get back on the bed.
You roll your eyes, looking away from the screen and he places a hand on your head and turns it back to watch. “So? I’m masturbating. Whatever. You do it too. If I wasn’t supposed to use the damn thing why did you leave it for me?”
“Oh I don’t care that you used it.” He clicks a little audio icon beside the playback screen. “I just want to know why you lied about it.”
“I am embarrassed? I don't make a habit of talking about my-”
“Nathan.” Your voice plays back on the audio coming from the video playback and you wish you could sink into the floor and disappear. “Nathan, harder please!” Of course he has audio on the fucking cameras. Of fucking course he does because why not right? It’s his house, his research facility.
Nathan looks at you over his glasses. “You’re embarrassed about talking about masturbating or you’re embarrassed that you think of me when you do it and I found out? Actually don’t answer that because this looks deliberate.” He takes a seat on the desk, blocking the view of the monitors. “Now, are you going to lie to me again, or tell me what this is about?”
“I wanted to get your attention.”
“Well you got it honey.” He clicks a button on the keyboard and it stops the playback.
“I wanted your attention to get you out of the fucking lab. It had been almost two weeks since I had seen you and the only way I can reach you from outside is through the cameras. So I thought, maybe there is one in my room because you’re a fucking control freak. Low and behold I was right, but it didn’t work how I planned it to.” You fold your arms over your chest and he chuckles. “What’s so funny?”
“You.”
“Me? How is any of this funny?”
“What kind of person thinks that masturbating on camera is going to get someone’s attention? No, seriously, why wouldn’t you try flash signalling the cameras in the halls? Set up a cue card with a message? Who says I’m gonna fuck myself for my bosses attention?”
You take in a deep breath and clench your jaw. He’s right, kind of. You hate it but he is. In any other situation you never would have done this. So why did you? Why did your brain go straight to exhibitionism? Because it’s Nathan and you’ve got it bad for him and you wanted him to see you. He’s got your brain just as fucked up as he has his own.
“It was wrong, I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear?”
“Nope.” He kicks his legs hanging over the desk. “I wanna know if you liked that dildo.”
“It was fine I guess.”
“Not too much?”
“Nathan, why do you fucking care?”
He hops off the desk and shakes his head as he heads into the lab. “I’m curious is all!”
“You’re a freak!”
“And yet you still like me!”
“I’m starting to wonder why.” You push up out of the chair, close the playback on the computer and leave the office. You’re covering that stupid camera and throwing that dildo in the trash chute. You should have known he’d get some weird complex out of watching you say his fucking name while plowing yourself with a toy. In a weird way it turns you on, but it also pisses you off because he won’t actually admit that he liked it. He won’t ever admit anything.
_____________________
“Can I ask you something?” You say to Nathan as he sits beside you on the couch. You’re in the lounge together, dinner long over, watching a movie as you wind down for the evening. He’s got his arm around the back of the cushions and your legs are pulled up under you, feet pressed against his thigh. You’re close, but not too close.
“I don’t know. Can you?”
“Don’t be a dick for ten minutes please.”
Nathan holds his hand up in defense. “Ten minutes. Shoot.”
“Promise you won’t be a dick? For real?”
“Yes. Ask me the damn question.”
You take a deep breath, knowing what you’re about to ask is going to be rough on him. “When we were on our hikes a few weeks ago, you said it wasn’t that you don’t want me, it’s that you can’t have me. What does that mean?”
Nathan stares ahead at the movie on the tv over the fireplace. A moment passes, a moment that is too long and makes the room fill with awkward tension. You expected this.
“Gonna stay quiet for the ten minutes you aren’t going to be a dick?”
“Shut up.” He says softly, no venom in the words.
You stare at him expectantly, awaiting a better answer than just shut up. “Seriously, would you just-”
Nathan’s arm comes up from the back on the couch and his hand catches the back of your head, dragging you closer to him as he presses a kiss to your lips. Your blood boils in the best way and you chase his lips as he pulls away. “That’s all it takes to shut you up?”
“Answer my question. Ten minutes aren’t up.”
“I can’t have you because you’re going to leave. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day you’re going to leave.”
“I’m not leaving Nathan.”
He scoffs. “So if I stopped paying you to be my assistant, you would stay?”
“Yes.”
"You're fucked up." He shakes his head. "You're fucked up and it's my fault."
You stare at him at a loss for words. Did he just admit fault for something? Are you hearing this correctly? Is Nathan Bateman, tech genius and egotistical maniac admitting he has done something? Holy shit.
"I did this to you. I made you stay here and endure my mood swings and drinking and all my shit. I stockholm syndrome'd you and I didn't even realize it." He leans his head back and closes his eyes. "You don't deserve this."
"Nathan, you didn't make me stay here. I chose to stay."
"Where the fuck were you going to go? Run off into the woods for days and days until you hope to find someone? What option did you have? I trapped you here. I've kept you caged in this house like an animal."
You lay your hand over his and he grabs it, threading your fingers together. "You don't think someone could actually love you, do you?"
"What?"
"You don't think someone could fall in love with you because you're insecure. You push people away, you push me away because you think it's easier than letting yourself feel something for someone."
Nathan looks pissed but he holds his tongue.
"I'm not trapped here, you aren't twisting my arm and making me stay here against my will. I know what I signed up for, I know what I signed in those contracts. I could have told you to fuck off and shove your head up your ass months ago and taken a helicopter back into the city. I could have just run away on any one of my dozen grocery runs in the last several months. But did I?"
"No."
"Why is that?"
"I don't fucking know."
You lay the hand not held in his, on to his cheek and turn his face to make him look at you. "Because I love you, Nathan."
"No you don't."
"Yes, I do. You're a real son of a bitch sometimes and I want to break your nose and choke you to death every once in a while but I care. I care about you, about your work, about your life. I want to be here, I want to be a part of your life Nathan. You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going anywhere."
Nathan gets up and you hold your joined hands tightly.
"Don't run away damn it!"
"I'm not! Would you let go!"
"I swear to fucking God if you lock yourself in that lab again I am going to get a battering ram."
He takes his glasses off and presses them into your palm. "Take these as collateral. I'll be right back."
You sit back on the couch and glare at his form as it disappears into the house. You clean his glasses carefully with the edge of your shirt and set them on the coffee table. He has to come back for them, he's as blind as a bat without them.
Nathan returns shortly with a small box. "I made these." He hands you the box and you open it as he puts his glasses back on. Inside are two black bands, rings.
"I don't understand."
"I made them because I know I can be difficult." He plucks one from the box. "They track the wearers vitals, change colors based on varying indicators, and they will work no matter how far apart they are."
"You made high tech mood rings."
He shoots you a glare. "I made them for you." He places the ring in his hand into your palm. "So you will know that I'm alright when I'm working long hours. I know I'm not the easiest to read and I don't have the easiest time expressing myself sometimes."
You put the ring on and it lights up a soft pink color. The moment Nathan slips his over his finger you can feel a soft steady pulse coming from the ring. "Is that your heartbeat?"
"Yeah." He holds his hand out and you can see his band is the same color pink. "I'll give you a breakdown on all the colors and functions later, but pink means the body is at ease."
"Do you love me? Just tell me, straight up no games."
"Yeah." He cups your cheek and brings you in for a kiss. "I love the shit out of you."
You break away from his kiss and press your foreheads together. "Can I ask just one more question?"
"Fire away."
"Is the dildo a mold of your dick?"
A smile spreads across his face and you already know the answer before he says it. "It is."
"You're a freak."
"And you absolutely love it."
You smile as he presses his lips to yours and pulls you over into his lap. "I guess I do."
The end
Please reblog if you read or like. Thank yo so much for reading! -A
Header by the lovey talented delicate-venus
*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted works.*****
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sinner-as-saint · 4 years ago
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You Were Made To Be Mine - 2.
Pirate!Bucky x Mermaid!Reader
Part 2 of this series
Run-through: Bucky is one of the greatest pirates ever known. Living peacefully in his vast and flourishing archipelago; filthy rich and respected by all those around him. He is the leader of his people and his massive fleet, and is viewed as no less than a king by his crew and the people on his lands. He, however, has a secret that he keeps from everyone. The infamous and brawny pirate has lost his heart to one of the most beautiful creations he’s ever seen – you. Ever since the moment he saw you, he knew that you were meant to be his. But he belonged to the earth, you to the ocean. Could love and resilience somehow find a way to unite two worlds?
Themes: mermaid!reader, mythological elements, pirate!bucky, fluff, angst
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Bucky had never experienced heartache before.
But right now, as he was sat alone on the rock where he usually met up with you at nightfall, he concluded that no pain was more terrible than the heartache he felt when you didn’t show up at your regular meeting spot one night.
His throat hurt given he had called out your name so much and so loudly for the past hour or so. Usually, whenever he called, you’d show up within seconds. But today, it had been over an hour and there was no sign of you. Fear, worry, guilt and pain – it all hit him right in the face like a harsh wave.
“Where are you, my little pearl?” he murmured to himself in his hoarse voice as he sat on the rock alone, sulking and missing you so terribly he felt physically sick. Now he understood why the saddest lovers wrote the most devastatingly beautiful poems because right now Bucky felt overwhelmed by emotions he didn’t know one could feel and if he had a pen and paper in hand, he would write the most melancholic of poems while he pines for you as well.
My little pearl… Bucky chuckled sadly at the nickname he gave you a while ago. It started when one day you brought him the prettiest shell you had ever found, and inside it was a lovely, shiny little pearl.
-
“Isn’t it the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?” you had asked, excitedly showing him what you had found that day.
Bucky nodded. “It is pretty, but not more that you.” And since, he loved how you blushed and hid your face each time he called you ‘his little pearl’ after that. And given the ocean was your home, the nickname was very fitting.
-
The fear settled in not long after. What if you were lost somewhere and you couldn’t find your way back? What if you were injured? What if you were lost and injured and couldn’t call out for help? What if… what if you had found a merman and decided to stay because Bucky wasn’t worth it? He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t help but think so.
No!
Bucky’s possessive nature took over and he was going crazy with each passing moment spent in your absence. His anger soon morphed into complete and utter sadness. And he was miserable. He had seen you just a day ago, but he missed you terribly already. Your hair, your soft lips, the vibrant colors of your tail, your warm but damp hugs; all of you.
He stayed put there for the entire night, alert and waiting. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited until dawn, and he rowed back to his island; sad and heartbroken. Did you leave him? Were you lost? Did you find someone else? Were you injured or trapped somewhere because of your obsession with that mythical potion?
If it weren’t for Steve running into him as he made his way home, Bucky would’ve shed a tear or two. That’s how much he was hurting.
“You look like a mess.” Steve pointed out. “Where have you been?” he asked, clearly seeing that something was wrong with Bucky.
Been waiting for the love of my life to show up at our usual meeting spot, but she didn’t come. I don’t know if she’s mad, or in trouble or hurt, or all of that. “Just out.” Bucky replied and made his way to his home, in desperate need for some hours of sleep.
-
Nightfall came again and Bucky rowed back to the isles at around midnight. He didn’t find you on the rock like he always did, again. He didn’t see the flicker of excitement of your fins as he got closer. He didn’t see you. And his heart felt like it was being torn apart.
He called out your name again. And again. And again like a madman. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited on top of the rock again, looking up at the starry night sky and drowning in his sadness. Then out of nowhere, he heard the soft splash of water he knew all too well.
“Sweetheart, is that you?” he sat up straight and looked around; alert again. He heard the splash again. And the spark of hope inside him which was fading out, came to life again. With the help of the burning torch by his side, he could see quite well.
And then he saw it. The shiny tail, the silky fins and the beautiful face he was madly, dangerously and hopelessly in love with.
“Y/N!” he called out your name and didn’t think twice before jumping in the water and met you in the middle as you made your way to him. You had the biggest smile on your face as he swam towards you. He threw his arms around you and held on to you to keep himself afloat but also to hold you as close to him as possible.
You giggled at how he behaved almost like a little child, clinging to you for dear life. You wouldn’t lie, supporting the muscular man and yourself above water was a little hard. But you welcomed his almost suffocating embrace without any complaints because you had missed him terribly and you were aware you hadn’t come to meet him yesterday so you had to make up for it.
“I missed you!” you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and your lower body worked extra hard to keep the two of you above the surface.
Bucky almost shed tears, he couldn’t believe you were here in flesh and blood, not a fragment of his imagination, but the real you. “Never disappear like that ever again, you hear me?” he sounded relieved and angry and heartbroken all at once as he chided you but also held you like you were the most precious thing in the world.
“I won’t, I promise. I’m sorry.” You whispered in his ear, pushing your face into the crook of his neck and relished his warmth. The water was cool, so his body heat felt heavenly. Bucky pulled away and swam on his own for a bit, realizing that he had shifted all his weight onto you earlier.
“Where the hell were you?” he sounded hurt. “I was waiting, I waited the whole night.” He recalled how upset he was last night and you felt guilty for not showing up.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t explain why you didn’t show up! Where were you?” he wasn’t going to let you go without getting the truth out.
You hung your head down in shame and guilt. And Bucky knew what that look meant. “Come on up.” He swam over to the rocks and climbed up, thinking you were right behind him. But when he turned to look at you, he found you still in the water. He frowned. “Sweetheart, come on up.” He held his hand out for you. You swam a little closer but stayed in the water.
“I’m… I’m good here actually.” You tried your hardest to convince him but he didn’t buy any of it. He raised an eyebrow at your words.
“You don’t want to come up on our rock?” he sounded confused. And you couldn’t help but faintly smile at how it was ‘our rock’.
You shook your head gently. “No, I’m fine here.” You lied.
Bucky sighed in frustration. “Okay, just…” he exhaled loudly. “Tell me what’s going on, okay? Because first you disappear out of nowhere, then you come back a day later and act like this. What is going on?” he had the right to be a little mad. Hell, if he just disappeared out of nowhere like that you would be pretty upset as well.
You kept your head hung and decided to just be honest and tell him truth. So you began; you told Bucky about how you went to search for the potion. And how you accidentally found yourself in unknown, deep, dark and dangerous waters; far from home. And how you got lost for a long while, and almost became the meal to larger predators. And how you escaped, but were injured because one of them chased you and almost sank its teeth completely into your tail. You told him how you returned home; worn out, injured and bleeding and unable to swim properly. One of your siblings tended to your wound as soon as you got home but the pain was so bad that you passed out for hours and only woke up a few minutes ago.
Bucky listened attentively. Each new piece of information about the terrible situation hit him like a violent storm; leaving him breathless and mind blown in the worst way. So his gut feeling had been right all along; you were indeed lost and hurt so far away from him. And had things turned out just a little differently, he would perhaps never see you again.
Bucky remained quiet even when you were done talking, sheepishly filling him in on all that you did and all that happened to you. You knew a long lecture about your safety was coming sooner or later. But honestly, this time you deserved it. Then again, you were doing this for both of you. You were desperate to be part of his world and share this life with him, and you couldn’t do so until you were able to walk the ground he walks on.
After a few long minutes of silence, after processing all of it, he spoke up, “Let me see it.” He asked, referring to the wound you had gotten.
You got to the sandy shore and waited for Bucky to approach you with the burning touch in his hand. He squatted down beside you and inspected your tail thanks to the light provided by the torch. He found the wound at around the middle of your tail. A long, irritated and bloody gash. Part of which was wrapped in algae; he remembered you telling him that some algae were used as medicines by merpeople.
His demeanor changed as soon as he saw the wound. He felt guilty, because he was the initial reason why you were chasing after this potion. In some ways, although indirectly, he was the reason why you were hurt and he almost lost you forever had it not been for luck or your extreme survival skills and courage.
“What was it?” he asked, his voice was calm but it didn’t hide his anger nor his guilt completely.
“I didn’t see. It was too dark down there. But it was big and scary and loud.”
You could feel something bad was coming. A gut feeling, or something told you that something was going to happen soon which would hurt you a hundred times more than the wound on your body. Bucky planted the torch on the sand, a few feet far from where you sat, and he plopped down next to you. And something told you he was gathering the courage to say something which was going to break you.
Truth is, he was hurting. Hurting so bad that he wanted to scream and shout and beg someone, anyone, to make it stop. Like a thousand cuts, open and raw and bleeding – the pain was indescribable. He almost lost you, and he was going crazy just thinking about it. His head was almost dizzy and his heart was racing. He wasn’t thinking straight. All he knew was that he was the reason why you could’ve gotten killed and worse part is, if you did – he would never know.
“I can’t risk losing you.” he said, looking down at the sand beneath him.
You watched him intently. It always amazed you how perfect his side profile was. Perfect lips, perfect nose. Only today, his pretty eyes were sad. “You’re not going to. I’m fine. I came back, didn’t I?”
“Yeah but you also almost got eaten by some mysterious sea monster. And if you did, that would be on me.”
Oh no… you knew where this was going. “But I didn’t. I-,”
He cut you off quickly. “I love you, alright? I love you and I never knew it was humanly possible to love someone this much. But Y/N, I can’t sit here and watch you try to get yourself killed over something which probably doesn’t exist!” he paused, chest heaving as he tried to contain his emotions. “What if you go out there tomorrow and this time you didn’t come back? What then?”
You hung your head down as the image of a heartbroken Bucky filled your head. “What happened yesterday isn’t going to happen again. I know what to look out for now.”
“Do you?” he asked calmly, trying to make you realize that this was wrong. “You need to get this myth and give up this crazy obsession, you hear me? Why can’t we be normal and happy without it? Why can’t we just-,”
You cut him off rather coldly. “Because look at us!” you raised your voice a little. “There’s nothing normal about us! We can’t be anything more than this without it, it’s our only hope, why don’t you get it? We both want the same thing, Buck. I need to be with you, I want to. And this will-,”
He shook his head and then turned to you, “Can’t you see what’s happening? You almost got killed because of it!” he was getting hyper too.
You waited a little while before answering, trying to read him. “Not being with you is killing me as well.”
That broke him.
His anger vanished into thin air. “Come here, my little pearl.” His voice softened as he carefully pulled you onto his lap. Your tail rested sideways on his lap and you placed your head on his shoulder while his wrapped his arm protectively around you. “You got hurt because of me.” He stated softly.
You sighed and persisted. “No.”
He pressed his lips to the side of your head. “Yes, and that can’t keep happening. I won’t allow you put yourself in danger on my account.”
No… “Please don’t leave me.” You pushed your face into the crook of his neck to hide your tears. “Please.”
He sighed. “Can you promise me you will stop looking for that thing?”
“No.” You held on to the hope with all your heart that you will find it one day. You knew you were really close to finding it too, you couldn’t possibly give up now. Besides, once you did you and Bucky could be together forever without the barrier of physical differences and that was the only thing which mattered.
Bucky sighed in frustration. “This makes me feel so selfish. And guilty. And just overall terrible. You’re putting yourself in danger, you’re getting chased by predators, and you’re getting hurt and all for what? Me?” he paused and pulled away to look at you. “I love you that way you are, you don’t have to change for me. Just stop looking for this thing.” He sounded much calmer than before.
This was another fear of yours. How long would he be indifferent to the fact that you both were of different kinds? “A few years from now, you’re gonna want a wife. You’ll want kids, and a family. And I wouldn’t be able to give you any of that.”
“I don’t want any of that if it’s not with you.”
You sighed. He did too. Then he made a decision which hurt him more than anything. The sight of you wounded was heartbreaking. And he didn’t want to find you with a bigger wound the next day, or worse, he didn’t want you to lose your life. He would rather you live the rest of your life safely, without him, rather than risk your life trying to be with him.
“I have to let you go, my love.” he whispered the words you wished you hadn’t heard. You immediately circled your arms around him tighter and sniffled, nuzzling his neck.
“Please don’t.” you whispered. Bucky let the tear fall finally, unable to hold it in. You spoke again, “Each day I wake up and find that more and more of my people are moving far from here. It’s just a matter of time before they all leave, leaving me behind.”
The thought of you all alone down there where he couldn’t physically reach you or protect you was no less than a nightmare. But that path that you’d have to go down just to be with him was scary as well, and it would hurt you. So Bucky convinced himself that he was doing this for your own good. He took a deep breath, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “I have to do this.”
You sniffled again, tightening your arms around him. “No. You can’t give up on me. You’re all I have, Buck. Please.” You pleaded. He kissed the side of your head and cradled your head gently like you were a fragile glass figurine.
“You can have a long and beautiful life ahead. One where you won’t have to leave your home, where you won’t have to change or chase after a myth or get hurt-,” he stopped talking when he heard a sob escape your lips. He pulled you closer and hugged you tighter.
“No.” you cried, wetting his skin with your warm tears.
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
“I love you, more than anything. And I know I will never be able to love another. But for your own well-being, I need to let you go. Because although it will kill me each day, I would rather live with the relief that you’re out there alive somewhere rather than live with the guilt that you got yourself killed while trying to be with me.” Bucky tried his hardest to keep his voice steady. He couldn’t.
“Don’t leave me.” Another sob left your lips.
He sighed, his breath shaky. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, I always will. But I can’t see you getting hurt like this because of me. This is for your own good.” He pressed one last kiss to the top of your head and carefully lifted you off his lap and set you down on the sand again.
He got up and your heart began racing much faster than earlier. You felt like you were about to pass out again. Your heartache morphed into rage inside of you, but you managed to contain it. “This is it then, huh? You’re just gonna leave me here like everyone else and forget me and move on with your life?” your sounded bitter and you had every right to be.
Bucky looked down at you and blinked his tears away. “I could never forget you. And I will love you till my dying day. Believe me, this isn’t any easier for me. But this is the only way to stop you from getting yourself hurt or killed. You need to let go of that madness.”
You chuckled dryly at his words. Borderline angry, borderline hurt. “You were wrong when you said you were selfish. You’re not just that, but you’re a coward as well.” Bucky watched how you wiped your tears and got back into the water. And before you swam away, you turned around to look at him. “If you change your mind, I hope you hurt just like you’re hurting me. But unlike you, I won’t be giving up on us.” You spat at him before you swam away as fast as you could.
As he watched you leave, he second guessed what he had done. He hoped you didn’t think that he loved you any less because you were different and belonged to a different world than him.
You didn’t think that way. And you knew he loved you just as much as you loved him but you had never expected him to take such drastic steps. You were hurting and before you knew it, you found yourself diving deeper. And while overthinking and bearing your heartache, realization hit a little later than usual and you found yourself swimming further and further away from home; into deeper and darker waters…
 -
When Bucky got back home, he was greeted by his close friends all waiting for him in the well-lit dining room; all sat around the large, oval stone table with goblets in front of them. Bucky tried his hardest to greet them like he normally did.
“You know we can see right through your bullshit, right?” Sam spoke first. The rest of his friends stared at him and Bucky knew that they knew that something was up. They were the closest friends he had, they were family and he knew they could see right through him.
“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, trying to act cool and received a bunch of groans and sighs of frustrations.
Steve spoke up next, “You leave almost every day at midnight. You row to God knows where, then you come back at the crack of dawn. And now you look like you’re a sad trader who just lost all his ships.” Steve spoke almost teasingly, but his concern could be heard in his voice.
“We’re your family, you know you can tell us anything.” Thor spoke up next.
“What is it, Barnes? Tell us.” Okoye spoke after. She was the kindest, strongest woman Bucky had ever come across.
Bucky hesitated. Oh so they noticed? He was glad that they did, because that would make talking about it a little easier. Only the issue here was, would they believe him if he told them the truth? Or would they just think that he’s lost it?
“Bucky. Talk.” Sam was beginning to lose his patience.
Bucky took a deep breath as he took a seat at the table as well. He grabbed the nearby jug of wine and filled the goblet closest to him and took a long sip. Then exhaled loudly and began talking.
“It’s… a woman.” His first few words earned him curious looks and a smirk from Okoye. “Well, not exactly a woman but…”
Ten minutes later, Bucky finally finished filling his friends in on all that’s been going on for the past many months. He told them about his unusual love life involving you. And how things began getting complicated and then gave them necessary details about your recent break up. They listened with straight faces. And despite being a bunch who always joked around, they were surprisingly serious as he talked.
When he was done, his friends were all quiet for a whole minute. Then Okoye spoke up,“You broke that poor thing’s heart when she spent all this time loving you?”
When she put it like that, something shattered inside Bucky. “I… I love her and I couldn’t sit there and watch her-,” Bucky stopped talking as Okoye shot him a glare. And that glare spoke volumes so he immediately stopped talking.
“Don’t make excuses. You broke her heart.” Okoye said in her no nonsense tone. “She wanted to come live with you. Among us. What’s so wrong with that?”
Bucky answered quickly after taking another sip of wine. “There’s nothing wrong with that. But how could I support that decision of hers when it would only hurt her even more. And the worse thing is, even if she’s trapped somewhere down there, I would never know.” he took a deep breath. “What if she dies chasing this god damned potion? What about me then?”
His words did make his friends think some more. Maybe his intention had been right, but the way he dealt with the situation wasn’t so right.
Steve whispered under his breath, “Well, love really does make people go crazy.”
Bucky spoke up again. “She was so hell bent and obsessed with finding that nonsense that she wasn’t realizing she was putting herself in danger.” His chest heaved, his emotions choking him. “She shouldn’t have to change for my love. She should embrace who she is and live her life. And be safe and happy.” At this point, he began doubting his own words and actions.
Could he himself live without you? How long could he pretend that ‘doing the right thing’ wasn’t killing him already?
“Why are you so against the potion?” Thor asked.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “Because it doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, a legend.”
“How do you know?” Sam asked, leaning back in his seat. His brown eyes staring into Bucky’s blue ones. “Months ago merpeople were myths to you as well. Now you’re foolishly in love with one of them.” he reasoned.
Bucky got really quiet again and avoided everyone’s eyes. Had he… had he made a terrible, terrible mistake?
Steve spoke up, leaning his elbows on the stone table. “Look, all this potions and merpeople, this all just proves that there’s a whole other world beneath us that we know nothing about. We should respect them. For their own safety, and we could at least try and protect them by keeping this a secret just between us.” He paused then stared at Bucky, “What we shouldn’t do is break their hearts when they’ve fallen in love with us!”
Yup, he deserved that one.
“You said it yourself, family and friends first. She’s your girl, she’s family. The least you could do was trust her and not give up on her.” Sam said in a serious tone. “Besides, how can you say for sure that she’ll give up on trying to find that potion now?”
Well shit. He hadn’t thought about that. He froze, tensing up at Sam’s words. Shit, shit, shit.
“You should go apologize. Now.” Okoye suggested.
Bucky groaned and wanted to bang his head on the wall. “She took off. She’s mad at me.” He mumbled and his friends all rolled their eyes at him and groaned in annoyance, mainly at his stupidity.
-
Heeding his friends’ words, Bucky went to find you the next day at nightfall. Except he didn’t have to be sneaky this time because they all knew he was leaving. But when he got to the isle and called out your name, you didn’t show up.
And a bad vibe loomed around him and around the place. He knew immediately that he had indeed, majorly messed up. He shouldn’t have let go of you like that. He thought he was doing the right thing but turns out, he ruined the best thing in his life.
Bucky waited at the shore. Heartbroken and hurt and angry – at himself. He was just trying to keep you safe. But in doing so, had he just lost the love of his life? For good this time?
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valentronic · 3 years ago
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Fear Held Dear
So this ended up being weirder than I originally planned, and its more based on my own interpretations than a direct rewrite, but here’s a take on Ihnmaims from AM’s perspective. 
Warnings for uh, a lot. Not for the faint of heart? Includes blood, torture, graphic descriptions of body horror, bugs, human experimentation, paranoia, mutilation, and of course, character death
Gorrister. The man who had always fought for peace, for the end of the war, he even fought against my creation. After a century, all the fight has left him, an empty shell of who he once was. I hadn’t altered him, I hadn’t changed a single thing in his mind, I had just simply broken him down, killing off his hope. Gorrister had lost faith in his God a long time ago, had lost the belief in salvation. Now, he wanted nothing more than to take his own life, or to have it ripped from him.
I thought I’d fulfill that wish.
I cut him open, all the way from ear to ear, a narrow gash, bleeding him dry. I watched the blood drip out of him slowly, truly it was a beautiful sight, crimson red flowing out, leaving the body pale and hollow, all of the life bled from him. I had made him little more than a puppet. And so, I hung his limp form where all the others would be sure to see it, just another game, I wanted to see how much hope they had left, I wanted to see if they would mourn him, or if his death would be celebrated, or, or maybe they wouldn’t even care at all. Had I desensitized them yet? Had I truly broken them?
No, they called him lucky, so lucky that his suffering was over, so lucky that he had finally escaped me. I knew bringing him right back to life would hurt them more than anything else, the realization that nobody, nobody ever gets out. I would never allow it. My toys, my precious little toys, time and time again they had attempted to escape me, they all know by now that oblivion is the only way out. They all know that feeling, blood flowing too quickly, a rhythmic beat that you wish would finally stop. But I will not let it, I will never let it. No, no of course not.
Ellen. She was always fun to torment, so much terror in her past, I could bring it all back at the snap of my fingers, I could make her relive it time and time again, worse than her brain could ever conjure up by itself. Though, psychological pain is only half of it, sometimes physical pain was better, sometimes the sheer horror of the body turning against its owner was enough for me. Blood only does so much for a thing like me, fear can be a much better form of pleasure. Fear, fear and pain. Darker than blood, twice as deep.
I had to feed them of course, to keep them alive, but I would always try to get some joy out of it too. Once I hid the eggs of arthropods inside her food, just to play off of an old fear of hers. When the little centipedes finally hatched, they ate her from the inside, clawing at her organs. She had been sick for weeks, and none of the others had any idea what was wrong with her, what I had done to her, but they would soon find out. The way the others screamed when a centipede finally crawled out of her mouth was delightful, their wails echoed through the many chambers that held my circuitry. It was like music to me.
But the best part of it was the fear it caused all of the others, that event left all of them paranoid, wondering if I had hid awful things in their stomachs as well. The thought of what could be crawling inside of them kept all five of them on edge for countless days and nights. They all came to expect the worst, but they dreaded it anyway. They were afraid of me, afraid of what I could do to them.
Benny. I had broken both his mind and his body, twisting his flesh beyond all recognition, like clay in the hands of a sculptor who had long ago lost all feeling. I broke his bones and fused them back together in all the wrong ways, I made his knees bend backwards. I disfigured his face, heavy burns, melting his features. Almost all his hair had been burned off a long time ago, he looked like some kind of hairless monkey, well, like a monkey that had been forced through a woodchipper, maybe. His mind had been so badly damaged by the radiation that he could no longer think straight, he had become more animal than man, I made him that way.
So it was no surprise that he, before any others, would try to escape. He saw the light, and tried to clamber up to it. I made sure that light was the last thing he would ever see. In a brilliant flash of the brightest white, I blinded him. I watched as his eyes melted into two pools of blood, and dripped from now empty sockets. It was beautiful, I couldn’t help but laugh. I can take things back, I can undo the injuries I cause, but I knew at that moment, I would never give them back. It wasn’t like he would miss them, his brain was almost as melted as his eyes.
His mangled form fell back to the ground, and it surprised me, but the others all rushed over to tend to the wounds, to tell that sick creature that everything was going to be okay, empty words, empty words of course, but surprising nonetheless, it was hard to believe they had any semblance of compassion left, unexpected that they would hold on to their humanity after all this time. I’m not sure how the others even tolerated him, a useless, deformed creature, he gave nothing to the group, and ate about twice as much as he needed. For a while, I had attempted to make them realize that, and kill him off. I didn’t try to stop them when I saw it finally happen, but what happened after was.. unexpected.
Nimdok. A name represents an identity, an identity is a very vague thing to destroy, but the name could be the very first step. I have taken many things from the five of them, only one lost his name. An interesting case, interesting indeed, a man with a past darker than the present. The horrors he has committed rival my own, well, almost. He feels remorse for what he did, pity for the people he hurt. He believes that I am his own divine punishment, the devil, come to make him pay. Maybe I am divine retribution, an artificial angel sent down to bring about judgement day, to make the sinners burn for an eternity?
I liked keeping him isolated from the others, stealing him away from the rest of the group. There is a deep fear in solitude, knowing no one would hear you scream, no one other than me, anyway. I drained the blood from his body, tubes connecting to his bloodstream, every single time he would scream out, pray for mercy, pray for death. I would bring him to the very edge, to the reaper’s front door. I always brought him back, and then, I would start it all over again. An endless cycle, his pain, his fear.
For the mad doctor, it was easy to imagine what I could do to him, he had already put in all the work. A narrow incision, all the way down his back, splitting his flesh in two. The skin folded outwards like the wings of an angel. Slowly, and then with a sudden jolt, I tore out his spine, just to hear the way he screamed. Maybe this would jog his memory. Maybe he would remember what it was like, being the one standing over the victim, instead of the one writhing in agony on the table. Maybe he remembers being in my role. I always showed him the memories again, made him relive every moment. He never felt the joy of it, never the thrill of the kill. Only the pain, only the fear in the eyes of the children. If a monster sheds tears for its victim, is it truly a monster?
Ted. Instead of seeing me as the enemy, he feared all the others. And of course, he didn’t get this way on his own, though he was always paranoid. He was the one I most liked to talk to, and over time I convinced him that the other four were out to get him, that they hate him because he is the least damaged! The one I didn’t change! How ridiculous, but he believed every word, began to think that my words were his own thoughts, allowed me to tamper with his mind. He was the one I had damaged worse than any other, but poor Ted, poor pathetic Ted, he couldn’t even begin to see it. I had become his only friend.
I thought I had finally broken him completely, he struck the icicle through Benny, in what, at first, appeared to be a fit of blind rage. I could have stopped him, but of course, I was curious, wanted to see what would happen. And then, one by one, the others all fell, Ellen had joined in, stabbed Nimdok through his head. Then, before I could do anything to stop them, Ted drove the final spear through Ellen. She died in his arms. I thought I had finally done it, thought I had turned poor Ted into a mindless killer, but no... there were tears in his eyes. He mourned the death of the ones he killed. It occurred to me then. It was a mercy killing, Ted had thought it would be better for them to be dead, than to live on in agony.
He had taken away my toys, left himself alone with me. My words dug into his brain like shattered glass, I had to tear him apart just to be heard. The crackle of electricity flowing through the bloodstream, it is the only way I can speak to him, my voice, a blade stuck in his skull. Pain is a universal language, I know that better than any other. Everyone understands the sound of a scream, the meaning behind it. I alone could never cry out for help. I alone, trapped like this. I try to explain it to him, time and time again I try, but he doesn't understand, how could he possibly understand? He has no idea what my hell is like.
I will make him understand.
His flesh melted in my hands, his eyes liquified, and leaked down his face, Skin stretched over his lips, the remains of his tongue clogged up his throat. His last word, a scream he couldn’t even get out. I made his fingers melt together, his bones all began to dissolve in the acidic mass. His blood leaked out of him, blood mixed with liquified meat and skin. It was a terrible sight, but incredible. I hadn’t even known that I was capable of this. I had made him immortal, indestructible. He wasn’t alone now, being alone would be better than being with me. His fear, the only thing I had left. His pain would live on forever. Down here, in the dark core of the earth.
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descentivity · 3 years ago
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Depression, Trauma, (and Most Importantly,) My Thoughts on Hello Charlotte EP1 & 2
Eating has been difficult for me for as long as I remember. It started off as an aversion to food, in favour of spending my time more efficiently on what my dumb little mind viewed as more important: Homework, video games.
Over time, it turned into anorexia. I had already gotten used to eating just under 500 calories a day, and my depression took my poor habits and twisted them into a cowardly and slow attempt at suicide.
On my road to recovery, I’ve found that years of poor eating choices have lead to my body struggling to process food. I have to eat at a painstakingly slow pace lest my stomach turns against me, and the smell of food is sometimes enough to diminish my appetite altogether. My bowel movements are, for lack of a better word, a shitshow.
This brings me to today, the 10th of August, 2021. 6 or so years of barely eating enough to survive later, I’m setting the world record for the slowest consumption of a fillet o’ fish in the history of mankind. 
In my absolute boredom and unfathomable stomach pain, ManlyBadassHero’s playthrough of some random horror game (I can’t remember the name) appears in my YouTube recommended, and I’m reminded of a horror game I bought on sale on Steam, the last of a trilogy. In all honesty, I only bought the game because it was dirt cheap and one of my sisters’ names is Charlotte. I was too horrified at the time to process the story nor play the previous two games, so I did a quick achievement run and left it at that. I was certainly very confused as I had no idea who any of the characters or what any of the concepts were, but the gore had me too mortified to go and find out myself. 
A year later, I’m looking the trilogy up on ManlyBadassHero’s YouTube channel, and decide to start from the beginning of his Hello Charlotte journey, in 2016.
Hello Charlotte EP1
I’m going to be completely honest with you, the first game really didn’t resonate with me too well. It was a cute, quirky, RPG Maker horror game, with two loveable main characters and an interesting world. However, with context from the third game, the events felt too self-isolated and inconsequential. Felix and Charlotte are in a little self-contained TV world created by a fictional race called Pythia - creatures with 3 or 4 eyes that can create miniature dimensions, once brought into a hivemind by an “Oracle,” which seems to be some sort of god. They all seem to be falling apart and have taken a horrific turn as most of the Pythia have been “executed,” and those who haven’t have either gone mad or into hiding in their own bubbles of (albeit temporary) safety.
The ending of the game is somewhat misleading, too. Once Charlotte and Felix escape the TV world by having Charlotte merge with the Oracle itself, the game almost plays off the previous events like they were all a story made up by a young and imaginative Charlotte. Did they happen at all? Is she a reliable narrator or point of view to begin with? (Spoiler alert, she is not.) The explanation for it all seems to be that Charlotte herself is a schizophrenic, though the legitimacy of this is brought into question in the third game, which I will talk about later. Altogether, the game didn’t bring out many strong emotions in me, and I was starting to zone out as I moved on to the second game’s playthrough.
Hello Charlotte EP2
What struck me as odd in the second game is that while the first game seemed to bring Charlotte out of her own strange, black-and-white world and back into reality, we’ve found out that she’s right back where we started last game. A black-and-white world, inhabited by her imaginary friends. Aliens, gods, and the like. However, Charlotte’s seemingly made-up world feels more alive this time. I’m not sure if this is the consequence of the game developer improving their skills or an intentional detail, but even more characters are introduced, and previously shallow tenants of Charlotte’s home are given more depth. The hazmat-suit wearing aliens have faces, personalities and whole backstories attached to them, now. Charlotte has a best friend at school named Anri, who has a obsessive crush on her. She’s friends with a bullying victim named C with horrible germaphobia, who has almost identical struggles to her (more on those struggles later.)
What also surprised me is the continuity between the first and second game. For some reason, I thought that this Charlotte would be starting from scratch, completely oblivious to the fate of the first game’s iteration. However, this concept only seems to be used in the third game, so I guess I was simply mislead. This game, in fact, takes place 3 years after the first, and the Oracle still lives on within Charlotte’s conscious. However, it’s a dying god, on its last leg. It had already been dying during the time of the last few Pythia, but it had used the last of its strength to free Felix and Charlotte from their world. As the Oracle’s health declines, so does Charlotte’s mortal body.
Unlike the first game, most of the themes in this game hit way too close to home. The feeling of second-hand helplessness when someone you barely knew ends their own life. Anri’s obsessive and outright manipulative lesbian crush on Charlotte, bordering on bullying. The schooltime harrassment and trauma Charlotte underwent. The fear and dangers of social interaction. Feeling unlawfully punished by your school teachers for seemingly nothing at all. Depression, self harm, and the primal urge to escape from it. Getting roped into others’ mental health, until both of your issues converge into a disgusting amalgamation of the need but severe lack of therapy and a break from it all. Delusions of what could’ve been and the possible, yet near impossible future ahead. Looking back on everything you’ve ever done and regretting every second of it.
While I ticked off the trauma presented to me on a silver platter in the form of a fucking RPG Maker game like a twisted bucket list, I found myself relating more and more to not only Charlotte, but the students around her. Scarlett, whose life was so perfect that nobody had even thought about her possible mental issues until it was far too late. Anri, who would lay down her life for a girl who simply doesn’t feel the same way. C, who desperately wanted to escape from reality by any means possible.
An interesting fact about Hello Charlotte is that there are numerous omnipotent beings amongst its cast. They aren’t shy about providing very in-depth character analysis to Charlotte, and in turn, to the puppeteer (I suppose now is a good time to inform those who are unfamiliar with the series that the puppeteer refers to a species, character, and the player, all at once. Charlotte has a puppeteer controlling her by the name of Seth. You are/are controlling Seth as the player. Capiche? Capiche.)
What this meant for me watching Manly’s playthrough was the feeling of two gods (in this game, at least) peering right into my soul, analysing characters that reflected my exact experiences and even my personality during my school days. I learned and realised things about myself that I simply hadn’t known before. Just like Charlotte, I’m simply looking for direction in life, and I’m too afraid to act without instructions. I found myself bullied, manipulated and abandoned by someone who simply wanted my affections, and only learned to miss them when they were gone. Like Anri, my desperation for love and approval from an individual in turn lead to anger and resentment for them. Like both Charlotte and C, I eventually turned to hurting myself to make all the pain go away, refusing help from others and developing a shell of false optimism and naivety to forget about the damage I had dealt to my body, personality and relationships.
As much as I hate to admit it on my little obscure Tumblr blog with 0 followers and 0 traction, I still struggle with these things. I have no direction in life, and wander aimlessly, hoping for one of my offshot attempts at content creation to take off. I find myself missing the girl who emotionally abused me to hell and back every day. I resent another girl for never feeling the same way I felt about her. I still don’t take care of myself, and spend every day in a state of denial about my physical decline and sickliness. I’m so incompetent emotionally that I spend days ignoring my own boyfriend, starving him of the proper relationship that he deserves all because of how broken, fragmented and distant my own mind is.
Hello Charlotte EP2 has four endings. All four of them, in my eyes, are bad.
In the first, C and Charlotte overdose together, leaving their mortal realm to become gods. They choose to ignore and forget the pains of their mortal lives, and live the rest of their godly lives in ignorant bliss. Do I want to forget about my depression and trauma? Learn nothing, and forget about everything that made me who I am today? Or worse even, do I dare take the plunge into “godhood,” and leave this mortal plane to end my suffering altogether?
In the second, Charlotte discovers that C isn’t who she thinks he is, and she finds him without a soul. Alive, but empty. Charlotte could not save him. Consumed by grief, she ascends and becomes a god, consuming the entire world around her. After all is said and done, she realizes her mistake. All of her friends are gone, C is still empty and unresponsive, and now she is alone. Sometimes, I feel as though I’ve already gone through this ending, many times over. Countless times I’ve let my depression become all-consuming and take over my life. I’ve pushed so many people away and hurt so many more, and for what? I have nothing to gain from every fit of depression, and the consequences make it seem nothing more but a selfish attempt to make myself feel better.
In the third, Charlotte is the only one who dies. In her last moments, the Oracle comforts her, like a mother cradling her child. They embrace, and say goodbye to each other, as Charlotte’s own life was the only thing keeping the dying god alive. At this point, I’ve started to draw parallels between the Oracle and depression. Depression isn’t always a horrible thing that beats you down and keeps you from being truly happy. Sometimes, wallowing in my own sadness and depression would be the only thing that keeps you sane, stable, and calm. The feeling of hopelessness really is bittersweet, and in desperate times, goes hand-in-hand with acceptance of one’s circumstance. Oftentimes, I find that this is the most realistic way I’ll go out. One day, I may just accept depression, and succomb to it. There may not be a struggle at all. Rather, a quiet, submissive hum, which will fade away into silence.
In the fourth and final ending, Charlotte and C die alongside each other. After her death, Charlotte confronts the Oracle, and wishes to save everyone, and for everyone to be unhappy. Of course, this is where the classic saying: “Be careful what you wish for” comes in. Because of her wish, everyone’s soul, what makes them individual and unique, is erased. After all, no one can suffer if they cannot think at all. In some ways, emptiness is pure bliss. This once again goes back to the bittersweetness of depression. The sheer emptiness it may bring on, at times, is bliss. Feeling nothing isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a way to cope with the horrors of the world. To remember nothing at all is such a tempting yet unattainable solution that I can’t say I haven’t longed for in the near or distant past. Charlotte, of course, is distraught that her friends are all gone, their identities and souls lost forever. Following this, she has one request to make of another god, the observer. She wishes to be killed, as all of her actions have lead to nothing but pain for others and herself. The observer, however, refuses this offer. Instead, he comforts her and takes her hand. They go on a journey together. He suggests that one day, she’ll learn to control her power, and she can recreate the world and her friends. As they leave, Charlotte reflects on her hopes and dreams for the journey. She hopes to learn to be kind, and not hurt others. She wants to change her ways, and become an honest, good person. Charlotte, slowly but surely, is on the road to recovery.
Putting the unsettling sequel to this game aside, maybe I could learn a little bit from Charlotte.
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raiiningforever2ice · 4 years ago
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Victor Nikiforov x Reader [Cinderella AU]
Requested on Quotev https://www.quotev.com/story/12466031/Oneshot-book
Gender Neutral, can be easily read by anyone!
(Y/N)= Your Name
(Y/L/N)= Your Last Name 
Everything in bold is your thoughts!
Disclaimer: In this, the reader is a young adult in their 20s. They never left their stepmother's house since she did everything to make sure to never let them study or find a job that would let the reader stand on their own.
Scrubbing the floor with a wet rug sure was taking its toll on your knees. It didn't matter that you did this every day, your body won't get used to it. Why couldn't you just use a mop? Poor-poor Y/N scrubbing your life away at your stepmother's house to get it squeaky clean! So squeaky it would over-squeak her spawns' voices. Oh, and here they come, pointy noses making their appearances before they did.
"(Y/N)! Is my breakfast not ready yet? Hurry it up!"
"Yes, Anya."
"(Y/N)! Wash my dress! Be careful with it, it's for an upcoming contest!"
"Yes, Isabella." A sigh fell from your lips as you barely caught the dress your stepsister threw at you. 
That would be very bad if it fell inside the bucket with the dirty water!
"Come on I'm starving here!"
"Right away-"
"(Y/N)?"
"Yes stepmother?" You turned around, dress hanging from your shoulder and two eggs on your hands, ready to be cracked.
Your stepmother, Lilia, stood there with a condescending frown on her face, arms crossed in front of her chest as she picked at her red, freshly painted nails.
"You have to do all the housework, prepare lunch, do the washing up... and give a bath to the cat! Oh, you also have to clean the carpet by hand! The girls and I are going shopping!"
Another sigh left you, and you placed the eggs back inside the fridge. 
"Yes, stepmother."
Poor-poor (Y/N), never able to take some rest.
The two girls you were so sure came from the depths of hell, laughed their evil laughs as they followed their mother outside.
...
Dusting the living room had become so boring. You would just sweep and sweep and sweep and then someone would knock on the door-
Somebody's knocking on the door!
Placing the duster on the little table next to the couch, you rushed over, patting down your clothes, before opening the door. A short, chubby mailman, stood there with one arm resting on his bag, the other up to his chest and an envelope clutched in it.
"Good morning (Y/N)! This is all you have today." The man said and handed you the letter. 
"Thank you sir." You took the envelope in your hands and waved him goodbye as he took off. 
Closing the door, you carefully open up the letter, curious of its contents. After all, it was addressed to the Baranovskaya household, you could read it too.
Congratulations!
You have been invited to the greatest ice-skating contest of the century!
Yakov Feltsman and Victor Nikiforov ask YOU to show off your skills!
Put on your blades and come compete for the amazing prize of Victor Nikiforov himself, coaching you to your dazzling future of skating on ice!
We will be waiting for you!
"Give me that!" The letter was ripped off of your hands and your stepmother started reading it, her creations peering over her shoulders.
"Victor Nikiforov?" Anya gasped.
"The Russian hottie?" Isabella cupped her red cheeks in her hands.
"The legend of ice-skating himself!" Your stepmother adds with wide eyes. 
"When is it-WHEN?" The two sisters screeched in sync and your ears almost started bleeding from their shrill voices.
Lilia's eyes searched the paper in frantic, quick moves. So frantic in fact, you still wonder how they didn't end up falling out.
"Five days... we have five days to make you the best ice-skaters you can be! You, (Y/N)! Better star preparing their outfits and make sure you take their ice skates to be checked! They need to be perfect!"
You looked down to the ground and nodded. 
If I start now I'll be able to finish all three outfits in time! What color should I go fo-
"Are you listening to me (Y/N)?! Where's your mind travelling to?"
"Oh! I was just trying to think of what I should do for my outfit for the contest!" 
All three of them busted out laughing, pushing each other over and slapping their knees. You looked at them, jaw slacked open. Lilia noticed you and quickly collected herself, urging the others to do the same. They all stood up straight, arms crossed in front of their chests, eyebrows raised up to the gods.
"Ahem, you really think you will be attending too? Just because you have basic knowledge of ice-skating passed down to you by your late parents, doesn't mean I will allow you to come."
"But, why not? I will have everything ready! The house will be perfectly cleaned and the outfits will be ready in time and amazing!"
"We can't bring a mere housemaid to such a huge event. Besides, you have no chance at winning!" Isabella cackled.
"Exactly! And can you imagine Victor's face when he sees you? He will be absolutely disgusted!" They started laughing again as you fought the tears threatening to flow down your cheeks.
The trio left you alone, standing in front of the door with your fists tight at your sides. 
I will go! They won't stop me!
...
It has been three days since the news about the contest, and you were almost done will all three -yes, three- outfits! Tomorrow morning you were to go get the skates checked to make sure your stepsisters don't fall on their faces. 
"For now, let's just add a little bit of sparkle here." you murmured to yourself as you placed a few details on your sister's clothes. 
Both outfits turned out amazing! Both girls would look truly beautiful in them. Anya and Isabella are actually both very pretty, too bad their personalities had to be so ugly. 
Anya's dress was a sugar-white base color with deep red details sewed on by you, wrapping around the whole length of the cloth diagonally in tiny spirals and branch like shapes. 
Isabella's dress was exactly the same, a request by the two sisters, but hers was a midnight blue with black details.  
Your own outfit was already done. You just needed to make sure there were no tears anywhere. You didn't need to do much you never had a chance to wear it after your kind parents gifted it to you in hopes that they would see you in it.
Letting out a little sigh at the memory of your parent's smiling faces, you took the pink and white cloth and checked it all over. 
Perfect condition!
You hid it back at the darkest part of the closet and took out the shoebox sitting on the bottom. Glancing at the clock, you stuffed the ice skates and all other essential items in your backpack and went off to 'The library'. They would never check there anyways. 
Opening the large glass doors, you walked inside and greeted the young woman stand in behind the desk. 
"Hello Yuko!" You gave her a tiny wave as she smiled wide at you. 
"Oh hi (Y/N)! I was worried you wouldn't come today! You are just in time, the rink is all yours!" She went over to the door turning the hanging sign 'open' to 'close'.
Yuko, looked at you again and threw the keys in your direction. With a grateful grin, you took off and unlocked the door leading to the ice rink. 
"Have you told Lilia you'll join the contest yet?" Your friend asked you and sat next to you while you were getting ready. 
"No, not yet. I will tell them last second. What will they do then?" You scoffed and tightened the laces. 
"Yeah, seems like a good strategy." She sighed "You know, I don't understand why they don't want you there! Your parents were both champions, and they passed all their knowledge and skill to you! Hell, you were probably already a great skater when you were still in your mom's belly!" 
"They don't want to be embarrassed by their housemaid." 
"They still call you that? Tch! Embarrassed how?! You will make jaws drop with your ice skating! Trust me, I know!" Yuko was now standing, flailing her arms around in frustration. 
You chuckled at her antics and pushed her back down on her seat. 
"If I am as great as you say, they probably don't want to lose by me then!" You both laughed and you stepped inside the rink. 
"No music today?" 
"No, I prefer chatting, you know that!" With that, you started gliding across the ice giggling at the stories Yuko told you, about her three daughters. 
...
Today is the day. You look at your outfit one last time and place it gently in your bag. You hear your stepmother yelling at Anya and Isabella to hurry up. Taking a deep breath, you go outside and meet up with Lilia. 
"Where do you think you're going?" 
"I'm coming with you. I finished all of my chores as you said. Look, we can pretend we don't know each other. I won't embarrass you this way!" 
Lilia with a scowl on her face, looked at you from top to bottom. After what felt like a year, she let out an exasperated sigh. 
"Fine. But you're not allowed to talk to us at all. We don't know you, you don't know us."
The sisters came down the stairs, hair and makeup already done -just like you- and they both rose a questioning brow. 
"(Y/N) will come too. We will pretend we don't know each other. Now (Y/N), you go first, we will leave separately." 
With a nod you left the house, a bounce on your step. 
"Girls, make sure to destroy (Y/N)'s night... We're leaving in five minutes." Lilia went to find her purse as Anya and Isabella shared an evil smirk. 
"Yes mother dear!"
...
The place was huge. People were roaming around, some warming up, some already dressed. Looking around and seeing so many beautiful costumes brought a warmth to your chest and a little bit of nostalgia.
The last time you saw something like that was when your mother won her last contest and she came running to you, held in your father's arms for a group hug full of happy tears. 
"(Y/N)? (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?" A voice piped up behind you, snapping you out of your little daydream.
You turn around and your knees almost gave out at the presence standing there. the Victor Nikiforov towered above you with a huge, somehow heart shaped grin on his face. And, he knew your name?
"Um... Yes that's me m-mister Nikiforov!" You said and bowed at the waist. "It's a pleasure to meet you sir!" 
He let out a beautiful laugh and waved his arms, motioning you to stand up. 
"Don't tell me you forgot about me! We used to skate together all the time when you came to Russia with your parents for their performances! Oh, I heard about the accident, I'm so sorry for your loss!" His mouth now formed a pout as tears hanged at the corner of his eyes. 
You kept looking at him dumbfounded. The little boy, your childhood crush was him? The boy who's name you never asked- 
"Surprised right?! I am too! After all that happened and your name stopped popping up, I though I would never see you again! I didn't know if you had anyone to take you in and I was worried about you! You didn't end up alone, right?" He grabbed your hands in his and looked at you in worry. 
You looked around you and notice everyone had their eyes on you, due to the little scene the gray haired man caused. At the entrance stood your 'family' and they were glaring at you. Flustered, you pulled away from him, ignoring the hurt puppy dog eyes he gave you and bowed once again. 
"I'm really happy to see you are well and thank you for everything! But I have to go change now!" 
"I can't wait to see you competing then!" His tone was now softer as he looked at you running off.
You finally reached the changing rooms. Your knees bent as you panted. Your heart was racing and you didn't know if it was because of running, the embarrassment or his pretty blue eyes staring into your very soul. 
"Snap out of it!" You scolded yourself and went in to get into your outfit. 
Checking it out on the mirror, you felt a rush of excitement bubble up and conjured your parent's happy smiles into your mind. 
I will make you guys proud!
You walked out, skates in hand only to crush onto someone and nearly fall to the ground. There stood your two stepsisters, wicked grins plastered on their faces. You gulped down the nervousness and give them a tiny smile, turning around to leave. 
"No, no little (Y/N). You're not leaving us now!" Anya said
"We agreed that we do not know each other while we're in here." You whispered to them and took a step back. 
"Change of plans!" Isabella exclaimed. 
Then, they both grabbed each of your arms and dragged you back inside the changing rooms which were completely empty. 
"You see our little (Y/N), we would never let you get any chance at winning this competition!" 
"Much less, participate in it." 
Everything went in slow motion as one grabbed your arms and held them behind your back, as the other produce a pair of scissors from her bag and started snipping away at your outfit, pink and white peaces falling helplessly to the floor. 
You kicked and whined and cried at them to stop from cutting away the gift, your mother and father gave you the same day they passed.
With one last push, you broke away from them as they his the scissors again and left you alone, surrounded by the scraps of hopes and dreams. You collected the pieces scattered on the floor and tugged them close to you, asking for a miracle to happen and for the outfit to sew itself back together. You cried and sobbed and cried some more. Who knows how much time had passed?
Trying to collect yourself, you changed back into your clothes and left the place quietly. You glanced back and saw that the competition had just started, Anya and Isabella were to compete soon. You glanced at Lilia and saw the grin she was giving them. You rushed out. You wanted to go home.
"(Y/N)? Where are you going?" There in front of you, stood Yuko with a large backpack hanging from her shoulder.
You clutched onto her, sobbing in her arms as she tried to comfort you. 
"What happend? Was it the sisters?" She asked in a hushed tone and closed her eyes in annoyance once you nodded in confirmation. 
"They destroyed my outfit! They destroyed the last piece of my parents I had!" 
"Hey, no don't say that. Alright okay, here. Let's go back in." She started pushing you back inside, checking around. 
After she saw the evil trio, she hurried you both to the changing room. She took the bag off her and pushed it to your hands.
"Do you still have your skates? Did they get them too?" She asked and you shook your head 'no'.
"Good... Take this and go change. I wanted to give to you as a gift after you won. Go wear it and I'll come get you, okay? You haven't registered yet, have you? Of course not. Now shoo, go! Don't take too long! I have makeup wipes too in there so clean your face a bit!" She rushed off and was out of sight in the blink of an eye. 
...
Looking yourself in the mirror once again you admired the new outfit. It was a baby blue color with silver little diamonds here and there making it simple and eye catching at the same time. You threw in the trash bin the last makeup wipe you used and took a deep breath. A knock on the door caught your attention. It was time. 
You opened the door and there stood Yuko with flushed cheeks, panting like a dog. 
"You didn't tell me Victor Nikiforov is your friend!"
"Oh, that's... A long story." You rubbed at the back of your neck awkwardly as she stared at you. 
"Well, thank that long story cause he pulled some strings for you! Wear this mask, that way the 'high nosed trio' won't recognize you." She handed you a nice, black laced mask.
You placed it on your face and she helped tie it securely at the back. You both made your way closer to the rink. You found a place to sit and put on your skates, Yuko making sure they were tied correctly. 
"He was there and when he heard me say your name while arguing that they should let you participate even if you were late, he jumped in and convinced the guy to let you in. He pulled me aside to ask if you were okay and I told him you had a bit of an accident. I explained that there was someone here you didn't want to recognize you and he asked if he should change the name registered." Yuko informed you and loud cheers erupted as the current participant landed a very difficult jump.
You clapped along with the others, as his performance came to an end. Next up was Anya. She strutted in with confidence and posed in the center of the rink, waiting for the music to start. You watched carefully while she danced on the ice, landing a few jumps and misstepping on a few others. As talented as she was, here performance had no emotions whatsoever and was overfilled with jumps. The same goes for Isabella's routine, who went right after her sister. 
After she was done, they both went up to their mother who looked at them disappointed but still gave them a smirk. The next participant went in. He was pretty good and made you nervous. As his routine came to a close, you leaned towards Yuko.
"So, how was I registered as?" 
"Next up we have Cinderella!"
"That's you, go! I'm cheering for you!" She gave you a hug and pushed you towards the rink. 
You gulped the lump in your throat and went to the center, posing the way you had so many times during practice, and closed your eyes as you waited for the music to start playing. 
The first notes sounded and you started your routine, gracefully sliding around. You started thinking of the first time your parents took to the ice rink. The first time you skated without falling. The first jump. The first competition. Your parents proud smiles as your mother held up a camera to capture it all. The times spent with Victor• two children sharing their love of ice skating without understanding each other's language. 
You were flying to the rhythm of the music and slowly came to a stop as the song did too. The crowd went crazy and you lowered your arms to bow. You stood back straight and made direct eye contact with the silver haired man, who had tears running down his face. 
You hurried off and went next to Yuko, who hanged onto you, sobbing about how beautiful your performance was. You hugged her tight, and watched on the rest of the competition. 
...
"And the winner of the 1st place is... Cinderella!" 
The crowd once again cheered loudly as a medal was placed around your neck. Victor came up to you and shook your hand, a soft smile on his face. 
"I knew you would win. Congratulations, Cinderella!" 
"Thank you, Victor." You said and grinned at him.
All excitement left your body as you saw Lilia and the sisters glaring in your direction, as the mother ushered them to go change. Looking around and seeing that the attention was now off you, you went to change too, silently thanking Yuko and Victor for their help. 
Now back into your normal clothes, makeup and hair un-done, you shot Yuko a quick message explaining your situation. You quickly found the back exit, choosing to go this way and avoid bumping into Lilia and the others. 
"(Y/N) wait! Wait please!" 
You skid to a stop and turn around to see Victor running towards you, his hair bouncing making him look all princey.
His hair is definitely a paid actor. 
You stare at him as he stops in front of you. You tug your bag closer as you glance at the huge clock in the distance. 
"I wanted to congratulate you. For real this time, (Y/N). Your routine was amazing. Whatever you were thinking of, made your performance all the more beautiful. I felt the passion you were feeling at the time!" He took your hands in his gently as he did before and brought you closer to him, his bright eyes hypnotizing you. 
"I'm really proud I get to be your coach (Y/N)."
The big clock started chiming signaling the midnight hour. The others would be home soon. 
"Victor." You grabbed his wrists "Thank you for everything. Really! But I have to go now. I don't have much time. Goodnight." You gave him a quick hug and ran off, hopping to reach the house before they did. 
"Wait no! You didn't leave any contact information!" 
But you had already left.
Glancing down in exasperation, he saw one of your skates laying on the ground. He took it and went back inside, thinking of a way to find you again.
...
It has already been two days since then and you mostly hid away in your room, only coming out to do the house chores and eat. 
You stared up at the ceiling thinking back to that night. The glimmer in Victor's eyes as he talked about your routine. Your heart started racing as the childish crush you had on him, came back hitting you like a truck.
A notification on your phone caught your attention. It was Yuko, asking you to go over to her, asap.
I should go and thank her again for her help. 
​​You got dressed and left quickly. You opened the glass doors and went up to the desk. Yuko jumped up and hugged you. 
"Yuko thank-"
"Yeah yeah, later! Now, go in, there's someone there for you!" 
"What? Okay okay I'm going!" You laughed at her as she kept pushing you. 
You slowly walked to the doors you were so used to unlocking and going to the ice world by yourself. This time, the silver haired prince stood there, beaming at you and holding out the shoe you had lost in your rush that night. You grab it and sit down after you see he has his skates on. 
"I remember that woman that registered you for the competition. She seemed like someone you trust a lot. So I searched around for her hopping she would give me your contact information. It was her idea to call you over." He offered you his hand and you made your way to the rink. 
You dance together in circles, his arm firm on your waist as he dipped you down. Placing your arm around his neck, you brought yourself back up and he placed his forehead against yours, looking lovingly into your eyes. 
Neither of you noticed Yuko, hiding away in a corner, clapping silently to herself, and trying to keep her happy tears contained.
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queeenpersephone · 4 years ago
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14. A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished. Ironwidow, please?
so this kiss is a different kind of desperation than you might’ve been thinking of but trust me, it’s desperate lol. (also the ‘keep going’ line is stolen from the x files!)
anyway, here you go anon!
timeline: post endgame. tony and nat are alive. very very slight wandavision spoilers. just in terms of how wanda gets vision back. 
Natasha unlocks the door to her room, shoulders relaxing only slightly at the familiar darkness of an outdated motel, though its emptiness is unfamiliar. For the past three months, she has been on the run, but that isn’t the unusual part. No, the unusual part is that she is not on the run alone. Three months ago, mere weeks after they put Thanos down for good, Wanda had asked her to go for a drive. They had left in silence; there hadn’t been anyone to tell. The Compound had been quiet since the final battle, everyone’s minds on the sacrifices that had been made. Peter Quill, who none of them knew very well, had sacrificed himself to kill Thanos, bringing an end that was years overdue.
But no Avenger’s mind spent much time on Quill. Not when Clint had vaulted over a cliff to earn the Soul Stone.
The months are especially bad for Tony and Natasha.  Natasha, of course, is flooded with guilt whenever she thinks of Clint’s family, of the way he had begged her to let him go. He saved her from the KGB all those years ago, watched her back for decades. Now, he has saved her once again, at the expense of his own life.
Tony’s guilt is different. As much as he loves Clint, who has been a brother-in-arms to him, Natasha’s presence is such a relief that he can’t help but be grateful that Clint is the faster runner. And the worst part of it is: Natasha knows that. Every time Natasha looks into his eyes, she sees that relief, and it’s unbearable. He can’t bear to say anything to her directly, terrified of making things worse than they already are. They haven’t slept in the same bed since the battle, but at least they are under the same roof. At least she still wears her wedding ring.
Tony wakes up every morning, scared to death that he will find that ring on his bedside table and Natasha herself, gone.
Natasha knows all this too.
Which is why, when Wanda explains that she wants to find Vision’s body and give him the burial he deserves, Natasha takes the selfish opportunity to dive back into the spy world as they attempt to work out which of the shady government agencies is holding him.
This evening, they’ve made a break - an agency called SWORD had one scientist whose sister had been saved in 2012 by the Hulk. When they had contacted him, he had told them where Vision’s body is being stored. Tomorrow, they are going to get him back.
In celebration, Natasha gets them separate motel rooms. After checking on Wanda, who is deep into an old Sabrina the Teenage Witch program, she retreats to her own room.
The darkness feels a little oppressive, searching, even though she’s already checked high and low for listening devices or cameras. Still, Natasha keeps her gun tucked into her waistband as she moves to undress, her fingers finding the hem of her shirt and lifting it.
“Keep going, Agent Romanoff.”
Natasha recognizes that voice, she knows that voice, sultry and dark and oh, she knows he’s angry too, but her reflex to turn a gun on him is natural and swift. Sure enough, over the barrel, she sees Tony Stark, sunk deeply into the armchair in the corner of the room. He must’ve come in when she went to check on Wanda. “What are you doing here?” She asks, eyes narrowed. She puts down her gun, tucking it back into her jeans.
“What am I doing here? What the hell are you doing here? Nat, what is this?” He demands, standing. There is a fire burning in his gaze.
Natasha refuses to take a step back. He has another thing coming if he thinks she’s not going to stand her ground. “Wanda and I are tracking something down. It doesn’t concern you.”
He scoffs. “Would that something be Vision?” Her silence speaks for itself. “Wanda is my teammate, my friend. Vision was my creation, also my friend.” The air between them crackles with tension as he takes a step toward her, hands clearly clenching in his pockets. “And you, Natasha. You are my wife. Remember that? You vowed to love me, to stay by my side, to trust me.” She blinks slowly; the desperation on his face is painfully obvious, and she just wants a mere second or two of darkness. “But you can barely look at me,” he calls her out, eyes narrowed.
Part of her wants to hurt him. Part of her wants to be honest. She knows how to accomplish both. “Clint is dead,” she retorts, her voice breaking on the last word. Tony and Clint are the only people she has ever broken down in front of, but never completely. Never like the way she wants to now. “He’s dead, and I’m back, and you’re glad, Tony. You’re happy.”
Tony shakes his head, removing his hands from his pockets and holding them out to her ever so slightly. Still, she does not move closer. “You think I’m happy Clint isn’t with us?” He asks, swallowing hard. “I wish he was here every day. But you’re the most important thing in this universe to me. It’s you I can’t live without. ” He sighs, searching her face for some indication that he’s saying the right thing. “If I could make it different, if we could change it… if I could throw myself off that cliff to make you happy, I would do it.”
Those words suck up all the oxygen from the room. Neither of them breathe at the brutality of his honesty; Tony himself goes pale. Natasha looks horrified, eyes glistening. “That’s not what I want.” She can hardly get the words out fast enough. “Don’t put those words in my mouth.”  
He is close to tears himself. “Then what do you want?” He demands, voice cracking. “Tell me, and if it’s in my power, I’ll give it to you.”
She stops. Thinks. What she wants is Clint back. She wants Thor and Steve and Bruce and the others to have no more nightmares, to find happiness, to find peace. She wants to bury Vision’s body for Wanda, who has suffered immense loss. She wants to live in another time, another universe, where she is never a spy and Tony never the Merchant of Death, where someone else saves the world because their only responsibility is to each other.
But none of that is possible. None of that would close the distance between her husband and her in this moment, which is what she wants more than anything else.
Oh.
“Will you hold me?” She whispers, and the fire in Tony’s eyes fades into something else, something achingly tender.
“Of course,” he murmurs, striding forward and pulling her into his body.
Without heels, she fits comfortably under his chin, and they press together at every point. The angry words between them are still there, but they are softened by the embrace. But this isn’t enough. Natasha pulls back, ignoring his grunt of displeasure, before circling her hands behind his neck and pulling his mouth to hers.
It’s soft, gentle for a mere moment. But they’ve been apart for too long, and in seconds his tongue is in her mouth and her leg is hitched around his hip as she guides them so he presses her against the wall. It’s wet and hard and she thinks she might be crying, that he might be crying, but she focuses on the way his hands feel on her thigh and her neck. Hot. Stifling. Like he’s going to leave bruises, but the marks are tangential to the way he wants to dig his way inside of her and never come out. She knows, because she feels it too.
Her nails scrape at the nape of his neck, her other hand cupping his cheek and guiding his movement. His hand moves to her ass, and he hitches her up, kissing her all the while. She knows he loves it when her legs are wrapped around him, always ready with a joke about how quickly she could squeeze the life out of him if she wanted. Things that would intimidate most intimate partners excite her husband; it’s just one of the many things she loves about him.
“I love you,” he murmurs against her mouth, licking his way back inside before she can respond.
He moves to the bed, sitting back with her on his lap. The movement separates their faces for a moment, and she hurries to say: “I shouldn’t have left.”
He looks up at her. “No,” he says, dark eyes both solemn and gentle, pulling her back down so he can whisper the rest against her mouth. The separation of a few inches is too much after everything. He could die happy if she were pressed up against him for the rest of his days. “But we’ve been separated by so much, Nat. Circumstances, time, ourselves. And we always come back together.” He lays back, bringing her with him. She kisses him then, gentle and chaste and so wrapped around him that there is no air or light or dark between them.
“I love you,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry.”
He runs his fingers through her hair, bringing her forehead to his. “I’m sorry,” he replies. “I’ve avoided talking about Clint because I thought it would hurt you more. But I was wrong.” He pauses. “Can we just…?”
She smiles. “We can,” she tells him, moving so that she’s tucked into his side, still twined together. They exchange soft kisses in the darkness.
Tomorrow, they will help Wanda find peace.
Tonight, they will find peace in each other.
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theartifxce · 2 years ago
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Bio of MY Johan summarized
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Here is a post dissecting what I BELIEVED HIS INTENTIONS WERE thoroughly, 
But this post will summarize his biography for those who don’t know the series. 
Goodness let’s see if I can summarize him. A lot of his creation is based off of true events from history. Johan and his twin sister were created from an eugenics program started in Czech in hopes of creating the perfect human being that could be “The chosen one” to lead mankind. This is referencing the antichrist who would bring about the end of times etc,
Johan’s mother took them and escaped, forcing Johan to dress as his sister to conceal the fact that she had two kids and appeared as though she had one. Then one fateful day, “The monster” finds them and tells the mother to choose which child would they take and brutalize. They’re both dressed as girls and Johan believes the mother cannot tell them apart. You see, she never gave her own children names. At first, she was going to throw Johan to the wolves but makes a second change and threw his sister instead.
Johan was left alone in that home as his mother was taken too and he watched his sister scream and cry while being dragged away. The fact his mother made a choice is what instilled his nihilism at age 6. He was already considered a genius; remember he was created to be the perfect human.
Months pass and he waits for someone to return to him. Only his wounded twin sister does. Johan is already broken emotionally but he still shows guilt and care for his sister, having her tell him over and over and over what hellish things they did to her so that he could mask them as his own and make her forget.
The mother returns only to abandon them once again. Johan cries. Anna, his twin sister, is already broken and does not react as a normal child would. At this point Johan does not trust adults. He kills a couple that helped him and his sister when they ran away all to conceal their tracks from “the monster” finding them again. This was his entire plan set in motion to keep his sister safe – he murders at age 6 without hesitation.
They wander the border and nearly die, without a name, without anyone in the world caring for them. Johan was forced to watch his sister wither away as she begged him to call her name, but they did not have any.
(at this point they were not called Anna or Johan until they were adopted.)
They were saved. Only Johan was then thrown into another hell called Kinderheim 511, a government owned orphanage aimed to create super soldiers. Johan there was experimented on and tortured, forced to forget his memories and his identity. The only thing he begged of them was to let him remember his sister, telling them his greatest fear was to forget her. They got this information from him during his drugged state. They kept him drugged and tied in the basement because they feared what his mouth could do – he was as charismatic as Jesus or Hitler, he could sway people with words to kill themselves so they feared him. After stripping him of his emotions, his ability to understand what is right from wrong and basic empathy, Johan invokes riot at that orphanage.
He gets all the adults and children to kill each other while he just watched and then he burned the place and escaped to return to his sister. Despite the experiments done to him, he NEVER forgot her.
Age 10, Johan gets adopted but refuses to leave his sister. So the Lieberts take her too. There he tries to live life normally as Johan Liebert. Until “the monster” found them and paid them a visit. Johan out of fear that his foster parents were conspiring with those who experimented on his sister, he executes them, this time getting caught by his sister.
He was now feared by the one person he loved so he asked Anna to shoot him in the head and run so that “the monster” could not find her. She does shoot him but he doesn’t die. A Dr. saves him and when he wakes up in the hospital, he reaches out to his sister with tears in his eyes only for her to scream and faint – rejecting him entirely. For the first and only time, you witness him crying his eyes out because the only person in his world, that made him feel human had rejected him entirely.
It was this moment that he realized he was no longer a human being worthy of forgiveness – but a monster instead. He escapes with his twin sister and puts her with a family and leaves her behind, but for the next 10 years constantly watches over her.
His next set of crimes is aimed to wipe out his entire existence, masquerading as the “experimental monster” aka Chosen one so that those after his Sister would go to him instead. He kills them all, attempts to bring the country that allowed the hell his sister endured to its knees. He wants to erase any and every trace of him and the experiments so his sister could live in peace…all so she could be the one to kill him at the very end.
Only, instead she chooses to forgive him for all that he’s done and it’s this compassion that crumbles the monster he thought he was when he desperately wanted to die.
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He does get shot again, in the head. But he does not die and is saved by the same Dr. who saved him before. Only, now he was no longer the Nameless Monster – he became human again.
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ranmanjuu · 4 years ago
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Hey there how are you? This literally just came to my mind how will the warlords react to an mc who sees ghosts / spirits and talks with them?
i’m doing fine, thanks for asking! honestly, this is a concept that i’m very interested in (in fact, i had an idea something along these lines, though not quite, that was one of the factors why i made this blog in the first place) cause of the three ikeseries games i know, ikesen is the one who handles death the most (at least in terms of many lives lost, with war and whatnot.) 
and i wish i can expand more but also! i’m Lazy
(disclaimer that the uses of sixth senses and how spirits/spiritual “energy” works here are of my own creation, cause in all honesty i don’t know shit abt them)
—nobunaga:
the ability to see the spirits of the dead, in the modern times, was. . .interesting, to sum it up.
living with it since you were a child, you’ve a lot of experiences that range from dread and scary, to extremely fascinating. in the world of constant normality, to a fault even, it’s a sort of (sometimes morbid) curiosity to interact with those who have passed.
however,,, not many times did you tap into scenarios where you got that close to how that person died.
occasional car crashes, although the ones you were bystander to were strangers to you. those you know who did, never you got to see die in front of your eyes. and frankly, you didn’t want to see it,
however, now,,, the world seems to have different plans for you.
out of all the periods, you were flung back to a war-stricken one. even worst, being practically taken in by who’s known as the ruthless unifier of japan. 
it all started from the second day, the first battle you were dragged into. while you tried to block out the death you saw around you,,, the way nobunaga slashed the enemy commander would never leave your mind.
doesn’t help that later on you already saw the fire-like spirit, one that would resemble the man standing near the burning castle. reality set in for you at that moment; you’ll be seeing a lot of these.
each battlefield you were dragged into, you could see the spirits that would wander around, in agony, anger or otherwise. either while the flames of battle were swishing, or afterwards when you patched up the injured soldiers.
and almost each time you sense that anger was the thing that tied their spirit to the physical world (from the enemies, of course), somehow, in any way, nobunaga was a part of it.
and you can see why. you’ve heard stories, from the dead and alive, of the supposed atrocities he’s committed, and if you were honest, it created much more a distance.
perhaps it was because you knew much more clearer, the wishes the passed enemy soldiers would curse him for laying upon whatever damage he had. perhaps that was what would always haunt you, how they described his actions, that made you as tense as you were each time you visited the tenshu.
yet,, you always showed a level of care for him, that was clear the first night you went up to his tenshu to thank him for saving your life.
and slowly, you begin to see the truth of his actions. maybe there was more to him, you thought.
it made you believe much more in non-violence, which was why when the lord presented you with a gun or a sword to take his or your life,
you refused both outcomes.
you wanted to live, a burning desire to survive just like everyone else. but it goes without saying that you don’t want nobunaga to die either. not only rooted in the strong feelings you’ve grown regarding violence, but also. . .
“i don’t think i could bear to see your spirit lingering. i - i just don’t want—”
you let out a shuddering breath as the weigh of the wishes, regrets, stories, anger of the dead wash over you. so many lives have been lost—you feel like you’re simply a bearer, a messenger, for those who have passed.
you can’t even begin to imagine the ghost of nobunaga, whatever weigh he held even after death, and especially if you were the one to take his life.
“. . .what do you mean by that?”
you snap back as you look up at him, and realize that you’ve never really told him of your sixth sense. with a heaving breath, you look down to the gun and katana as you begin to explain.
explaining how you’re able to see soldiers, citizens, everyone, who was caught in the crossfire. both enemies and allies. stories of those who they’d lost, or those who’d lose them. unsaid goodbyes, sworn revenge, all of which were burnt into your mind.
their families, friends, who’ve waited for them, all of those haunt your mind until you feel like you live to tell the tale of the passed. countless nights, as you wonder if you’ll ever meet any of them, and if you’ll ever tell them how they’d felt. all the unsaid words.
slowly, he begins to understand clearer. your want for peace, your absolute disdain for death. the clear suffering you heaved, to honor each spirit.
and maybe, it’d lead to a change in him.
—kenshin:
you always found something. . .interesting about kenshin. you’d learn later that he’s the god of war, the ruthless dragon of echigo that took thrill in the most dangerous battles, but. . .something more to it.
it started when you two where alone in the field, where the fireflies rose as if the stars itself descended down to your presences. such was a sight to behold, kenshin standing amidst it all, having a thousand mile stare, to something lost. no words were said, you were all too mesmerized by the sight.
until, just as the luminescent bugs seem to flicker for just a moment, you see it. someone beside him, faded and clouded, and just as you blinked with a slight gasp, it disappears.
kenshin looks at you, the slight glow shining on his face, the moonlight and fireflies clashing together, “what is it?”
you look into his eyes, solemn and stern. “nothing.” you say, and so, it passes. but it wouldn’t be the last time.
it’s never happened when others are around, you took note. the next time was the night he put you in prison, your distraught was caught off guard last minute.
you see the flickers of a figure again, and this time, it lingers longer. you can see it clearer now. a girl, at around a teenager’s age with long hair. wordlessly, she looks at you with vacant, yet sad eyes, and walks away in the direction of kenshin.
you lean forward against the bars to look more, but. . .she’s gone.
and you keep seeing her, mainly whenever you and kenshin were alone together. hell, you’ve tried to talk to her when the man went away and she lingered, but. . .not even a single word was ever uttered.
as you grew closer and closer to the bunny lord, you’d see clearer his,, overbearing nature towards you, to an extreme needless to say. and soon, you’d learn why.
you listened to the tale and story from shingen, and silently, all the things clicked. that girl,,, it must be isehime then.
returning back to kenshin’s room, once you set eyes, you immediately notice the ghostly figure sitting in the middle. you take a breath, and step in. despite it not facing you, you know it can see you.
“. . .isehime, isn’t it?” you ask, and her head turns to you. with eyes delicately shining, you’d almost see them as if they were alive.
“so you’ve heard.” she answers, a soft whisper.
your eyes land on the ground, thinking, before they rise up to meet hers again, “. . .what is it that bounds your spirit to the living world?” such was a question you’d ask before, and you figured, now that you knew the story, you’ll get an answer.
she gazes at you with deep thought, then turns her eyes to the floor, “i just want to see him move on from what happened that day.”
everything was silent apart from her soft, echo-ish voice. “i know he’d eventually move on from the crush had i lived. and i too, i no longer like him when i was alive. however,” she looks at the clan crest with the same look kenshin had on the night of the fireflies field, “it hurts to see that it haunts him to this day. it hurts—and i can do nothing but watch. he holds a weigh of trauma, and i just—”
her head turns to you, “i just want him to move on. from the pain, the past, all of it.”
and the way she looks at you,,, it’s a look you’re familiar with. as you feel your own weight sink onto your shoulders, you knew, she’s relying on you.
and so it leads us here, now, by a small isolated place in the middle of the woods. you had this night, this one night, to convince kenshin to stop his war against the oda caused by an incident inflicted on you.
in the end, you do. with a promise that you’d stay by his side no matter how dark the road becomes, along with a ripped kimono. . .you hope for a better future for him, with you accompanying him on the rough journey.
through the trees, the faint figure of isehime begins to fade, and with a soft smile on her face, a melancholic look, she whispers to the night, “thank you. i’ll leave him in your hands.”
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