#learn and be better

[sunnywalnut]

This is what people mean when they say that art is supposed to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed.

People with these kinds of intrusive thoughts(ESPECIALLY folks with mental disorders that are already stigmatized, like personality disorders or cause hallucinations/breaks with reality) are CONSTANTLY in fear of these intrusive impulses. And sometimes, people also experience lack of impulse control. So the bridge between "I have no reason to attack that child" and "ok but what if I did" REALLY ISN'T THAT FAR IN THEIR MIND.

Not because they WANT it to be, but because sometimes intrusive thoughts come at extremely awful times when you're most vulnerable.

I myself struggle with intrusive thoughts like this. Have I acted on them? No. Never. And I never want to. But I have acted on other intrusive thoughts, mostly due to paranoia (yes hello I am one of the young people with bi polar that genuinely thought that running away to a different state without any money would solve all my problems. It didn't. I got up until all my shit was packed before people found out and got me help. Thank GOD.)

BUT THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!!!

WE DON'T ACTUALLY WANT THIS!!! THAT'S WHY IT'S A MENTAL ILLNESS!!!! THAT'S WHY WE NEED HELP!!! BECAUSE IT'S NOT NORMAL TO THINK EVERYONE HATES YOU AND KNOWS SECRETS ABOUT YOU THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT TRUE!!!!

End the frickin stigma istg. A lot of us have trauma that correlates with these intrusive thoughts and you acting like we're freaks only adds to it.

STOP IT.

[housederiva]

Gaby Soto is a gift

Edit: I missed one!

[romcommunist]

"honeymoon phase" i am literally healthily insane and obsessed for the entire duration of the relationship. skill issue

[rapidhighway]

the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd

[beaulesbian]

ARCANE 1.08 || 2.09

[yarrowdraws]

very late to the meme, it's been done before but. here.

turn on the sound pls

[ayanathedork]

I Think I Know You (3 page comic)

[trans-androgyne]

I read too many stories of "women" throughout history who lived as men and wore men's clothing getting beaten and arrested for it, sensationalized in the press as "man-woman," painted as perverts and monsters, put in literal freakshows, and forcibly institutionalized to sit by quietly while non-transmascs loudly and confidently claim that "female masculinity" has never been targeted as much as "male femininity" has. Read some trans and queer history that isn't only about gay men and trans women before you open your mouths about butches and transmascs, or better yet just listen to us about our history and experiences in the first place.

[shotmrmiller]

ghost getting himself a cute, soft girl he doesn't talk about much but is clearly obsessed with and price just thinks it's nice he's finally settled down, approves of the home he's made for himself, definitely approves of the one he's taken for himself.

soap asks kyle if he's seen you and he says, "yep. lovely bird he's got tucked away in her little dollhouse. makes great food, too." soap swears there's a subtle shift in his tone when he says "lovely", a hint of something deeper that flickers in his eyes for just a moment. soap simply sucks on his teeth, letting it slide. (although he knows that kyle's always been one to appreciate the good things in life.)

interest gnaws at him, a persistent itch he can't scratch. price likes you just fine, as does kyle. well what about him? he decides to bite the bullet and goes to simon with a knot between his brows, the corners of his lips tugged downwards. they've shared clothes, bullets, beds. if the other two got to meet you, why can't he?

"ya can come over for dinner on tonight. she'd 'ave my neck if she didn't formally meet ya anyway."

soap then asks, out of genuine curiosity more than anything else, if simon would have kept you in the dark from him hadn't he brought you up himself.

"ya meet 'er when i want ya to, boy, and not a moment before." the tone he takes is unmistakeable. his words are a command, not a suggestion, and soap instantly knows to not push further.

soap nods. "ah'll be there."

"course ya will. she'd be terribly disappointed otherwise."

yeah, he'd hate to have that.

soap sits in the living room, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light over the cozy place. with a full stomach and an unfastened belt, nursing a glass of kentucky. he can't remember the last time he ate that well or that much.

maybe it's the alcohol that loosens his tongue, or the fact that he wishes he also had a sweet little thing to keep at his side just like simon's doing with you now, but the thoughts he's been mulling over all evening since he first saw you tumble out of his mouth.

"while ah can attest to yer taste in sweethearts, can't say much about your alcohol. bourbon, LT?" he says, chest warm.

simon's arm tightens around your hips, fingers splayed possessively over your thigh. he shrugs, completely unbothered by the backhanded compliment. "can't be perfect in everythin', can we, sergeant?"

soap's cheeks burn furiously hot when you come to his defense with a smack of your palm onto simon's chest. "be nice to johnny. he's got a face that make up for some of his other flaws."

the teasing lilt in your voice unashamedly gets his southern blood pumping. he can't help it if certain things stir when someone as pretty as you look at him like that. soap swirls the amber liquid gently in the glass while keeping his limpid eyes on you, not even trying to hide the fact that his gaze hasn't wavered since your cheeky little comment.

you then whisper something in simon's ear, your cupped hand not even half the size of his head and soap has to rearrange himself from the outside when your teeth catch your bottom lip. simon looks up at you then, eyes heavy and half lidded, and a smirk plays at the corners of his mouth.

"'m not sure, love. you'll just 'ave to ask 'im yourself. go on."

you open that sweet mouth of yours, but simon cuts you off with a decisive wave of his hand. "no. you know how to ask for things."

your reaction to that is visceral, and you're on your knees faster than his alcohol-muddled brain can comprehend. don't look down 'er shirt, don't look down 'er shirt, don't-

"johnny, will you touch my pussy?"

he splutters at your question, completely taken aback, but it seems you're not done just yet.

"hands to yourself, sergeant. tha' not all."

you pout at simon, one that earns you a look that promises consequence, but do as he says.

"will you touch my pussy, johnny? pretty please?"

[newttxt]

crisis of disbelief

[pangur-and-grim]

he can only do his “I’m not touching you” routine for so long. eventually, he gets too excited and tries to play

[halfchun]

you can easily return to the past, but no one is there anymore ⏰

[foxx-queen]

as much as I get why lucanis is positioned as the one needed to kill ghilan'nain as the mage killer etc, I can't help but feel like it should've been davrin

like. there's something about the dalish elf with andruil's vallaslin, a grey warden, a monster hunter, hunting down the mother of all monsters, who creates monstrosities with the blight, who was once andruil's beloved.

ghilan'nain created the halla. she still cares for the halla, despite what she's become, despite being unable to create them anymore. davrin cared for the halla under his uncle's tutelage. assan cares for and nurses a sick and dying halla. assan, who's name means arrow in elven, when andruil's weapon was a bow, who's hunting instincts give way to something more protective.

davrin was taught the way of the three trees. it was created by andruil. andruil, the goddess of the hunt, also known as the goddess of sacrifice. davrin feels like a weapon sharpened to make that final sacrifice against the blight, a tool that once drove andruil mad, and has twisted ghilan'nain into something unrecognisable. andruil, blood and force, who loved a mortal for her creations and raised her to godhood.

would ghilan'nain see andruil in him? would that offer something more to her character than just oh she's evil?

the dalish tell a legend of ghilan'nain and a hunter who bested her. maybe it was a prophecy instead.

[terriblepersongreatseamonster]

Just a few of the comments from YouTube that amused me.

[clouvu]

Casual sparring practice ⚔️

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.