#lean in to the drama

[eatanorange]

Can I share a fear rq? can I share a fear with y'all? Can I tell you what I witness and what it manifests in to? Will it manifest the entity looming in the darkest parts of my head? Will you blame me for going insane or will you find some sort of sick, disorienting beauty in my destruction, in my fusing with said entity? Will I still be alone then? Will I be known, then? Will it sicken you to see how full of love I am and how colored by distrust it is? Will you look away when the hand you reach for turns to a blade and cuts yours off, or will you pull back too? Did you already have that prosthetic, there? Is that what you call self preservation?

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS x ISAT part 2: Grandmaster of Time.

(Part 1)

[eatanorange]

word count: 700

Hey, hi, I hope this isn't overstepping, if it is you can let me know and I can hold on to my personal thoughts/keep them separate from you, but it is also my hope to provide some solace, or merely a perspective, If I can. I feel like a guardian gently opening a door that was perhaps left cracked purposefully, a bartender with a similar experience, a classmate answering a discussion post - a stranger in most ways but coming as a friend in another. I'm sitting on a park bench across from you, the realization dawning on my face that we have the same coffee order in our hands. My account is mostly marauders, but it is also a litany against shame.

I clicked on your account bc of your ask for recommendations for another life ruining jegulus fic to follow up choices (my rec is only the brave by solmussa bc thats the only other one I've read rn that is A Full Story lol, also it's a happy ending ;) ), and I noticed the breakup you're going through, the dates of your posts almost exactly lining up with my breakup, and the similar feelings I experience, the ethel cain and the marauders escapism.

the tldr in advance is, let yourself be angry. (in a way that is safe/controlled/expressive, etc) (i.e angry tumblr posting, I have a few lol)

I don't know the context of your relationship, or how it ended, what you said or the mess that was made so I suppose this is the part where I talk about me and hope it reads like sitting in the mud with you;

My partner and I got in constant fights about what it means to radically accept yourself, what it means to let others show up for you, what it means to hold multitudes at once. In fact, most of our relationship was that conversation at its core, or rather, what felt like them resisting that conversation (yeah, I know, ironic). They ended the relationship, but with such haste and disregard to me as a person that I had this gross epiphany just recently that the person who wasn't being accepted for their multitudes, was me. As I hope you might imagine, there is rage, there is regret*, there was what I consider disgusting amounts of resentment from both sides, and as a result of their dropped bomb there is now a 13 page google doc of my flowery language and emotional processing in its multitudes. And I felt anger, along with its siblings, at myself just as much as I felt it towards them for the way they treated me. And that's because I chose to. I let it in to let it go. If you want what I think is a funny camp example it's like when vampires on the vampire diaries would turn their humanity back on.

*this emotion in particular, is a hard one for me to process. but we can expand on that another time.

And I'm not going to tell you the bullshit about beautiful art coming from hardship because I think people use that too much as a dismissal of the hardship, but I am here to offer that perhaps that anger, that cruelty, what sounds like a moment of lashing out is coming up for you so it can be on its way out, just like your ex. I believe that is one of the best perspectives to hold if you want to ensure an emotion doesn't 'consume' you or 'become' you. I'm here to tell you your anger is just as human as you are, that humans feel cruel sometimes, make mistakes in giving that cruelty a face. I'm here to remind you that you can hold any emotion you feel in full, and choose your response, your perspective of the world that follows suit (with practice ofc, perhaps therapy, if desired/necessary).

I hope you can find an outlet for release, and I hope your pain eases soon.

- a stranger on the internet, who believes that even with cruelty present in your multitudes, I highly doubt it is the only facet of your core.

How will you choose to act next?

Guys I fear I said something really fucked up and I messed things up even more

I didn’t want to let this make me cruel and mean and that’s exactly what I did

I don’t know how to not be angry about this

[sforzesco]

I love how much Lucullus can't stand Pompey, and also this

Pompey the Great: A Political Biography, Robin Seager

with something from this thrown in for extra flavor

Crassus and Pompey, on the other hand, ridiculed Lucullus for giving himself up to pleasure and extravagance, as if a luxurious life were not even more unsuitable to men of his years than political and military activities.

Plutarch, Lucullus

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!

[total-drama-brainrot]

On the topic of wrinkles, I wish more Total Drama characters had "imperfections" in their appearences.

Owen's crows feet? Iconic. Dawn's eyebags? Stunning.

Eva's unibrow and body hair is so refreshing to see on a show from 2007. Especially since it's never used to fuel any jokes!

Cody, Mike (and his system), Rodney and Mickey have tooth gaps. Leshawna, Beth and Amy have moles. Courtney and Harold have freckles. Kelsey the Trent superfan has acne! Give me more of this!!

Give me characters with skin conditions like rosacea and vitiligo! Give me characters with scars!

[liyazaki]

give me some encouragement?

BED FRIEND | EP. 9 [2023]

[nano30cm]

just kidding ;P

pg 1 / 26

[gunsatthaphan]

"actually I prepared something too."

[k-wame]

JACOB ELORDI as ELVIS PRESLEY 'Priscilla' (2023) wrt./dir. Sofia Coppola

[namtanlovesfilm]

offgun's characters + flirting in front of friends

[eatanorange]

Anyway maybe I should download hinge again this luteal phase b wild and I suppose my current relationship is open for a reason

In my loneliest moments I don’t reach out, perhaps because my truest isolation comes from feeling rejected and rejected and rejected until I snap and tell you to cower behind the cringe shivering down your spine at the thought of me confronting my darkness

[hollymacycomic]

Holly & Macy and Everyone Else

Chapter 4: Page 47

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Holly & Macy will update twice this week. Check back on Saturday for page 48.

[moviesiveseenandwanttoremember]

David Lean's "Lawrence of Arabia" December 10, 1962.

[originalaccountname]

putting my hands on your shoulders looking directly into your eyes why are you so insistent that Dazai is faking every emotion every second of every day except when he's acting mean or evil why do you think his dark side is more true than his happier or sillier sides

do you not also have multiple facets you show different people? are we not all beautiful multifaceted individuals? are your actions and reactions not influenced by your emotions and state of mind?

can't he laugh at his own jokes? can't he fondly think of the Agency? can't he be dramatic because he wants to? can't he be surprised by something suddenly happening, even if he knew it would happen? do you not jump when the jack in the box gets out even if you were the one working the mechanism?

why would the mean persona be more real? why would any and all joy be faked? why are you only allowing him misery?

[heretherebedork]

Should I stay and take care of you? Don't be stupid, go to where you're supposed to be.