#leahsspnfam

[frenchiestan]

Castiel Graphics Challenge | freckledean ↳  Prompt: “I have spent the last year as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent.”

[heartharrington]

C A S T I E L

for @casgirlat221b. want one?

[ghostwinchesters]

pairings: sastiel, jo harvelle/charlie bradbury cuz i’m a total sucker for femslash *cough* word count: 1.9k tags: college party au thingie, charjo lowkey wanna shove sam and castiel together, sam and cas are awkward af, err sassy is apparently so pure i barely even used any cuss words???

“Whoa!”

Sam turned his head from where he was helping put some dishes in the dishwasher. Castiel was standing on a stool trying to get a garland off the wall but the chair wasn’t tall enough and he kept losing his balance.

Charlie had thrown a holiday party, and while most of the college students had left by now, Sam and Jo and Cas had volunteered to help clean shit up even though it was one in the morning.

Sam put another cup in the washer before Jo not so subtly shoved him towards Cas. “Jo…” Sam whined, giving her a look.

“Oh, come on. You’re friends. Helping him won’t kill you. He might fall and die though, so…” She turned away from Sam before he could argue, and wrapped her arm around Charlie from behind and kissed her shoulder.

Sam groaned. “Fine. Especially if I avoid you two making out in front of me, thanks.”

Charlie smirked and shrugged innocently, which was an odd combination and Sam threw a towel at them as he walked to Castiel. “Um, you need some help, dude?”

“Wh-what?” Cas looked at him in surprise.

“You look like you’re about to fall on your face, Cas.” Sam smiled up at him, as weird as it was to have Castiel standing taller than him.

Even in the dim light shining from the kitchen, Sam could tell that Cas blushed. “Yeah, so perhaps this isn’t going very well. I think the chair’s a little short.”

Sam snorted. “Or you’re short and clumsy.”

Castiel’s face turned even redder and he mumbled a flustered, “Shut up.”

“You want me to do it?”

Cas sighed reluctantly. “Yeah, okay, fine.” He hopped off the stool, stumbling slightly and Sam grabbed his arm automatically. “I’m okay, Sam. Thank you.” His words came out in a whisper but Sam could hear him because they were standing so close. “Just a little tipsy, but definitely not as drunk as Balthy or Meg were when they left.”

Sam laughed, breaking the tension. He climbed up on the chair and reached the garland, taking out the thumb tacks holding the cheesy garland and lights up and handing the stuff down to Cas who carefully put it down on the floor.

“This is not cool, Sam. You’re already taller than me and now you’re completely towering over me.”

Sam looked over his shoulder. Charlie and Jo were gone, probably in Charlie’s room. He swallowed hard, not sure whether being left alone with Cas was a good thing or not, but assuming that they’d left on purpose. He jumped to the floor, standing in Castiel’s space and purposefully staring down at him with a teasing smirk. “I’m completely towering over you down here too.”

Castiel looked up at him shyly, biting his lip and Sam’s gaze dropped lower before coming back to his eyes. “Shut your mouth, Sam.” His voice cracked nervously.

Sam wasn’t sure where his odd surge of confidence was coming from but considering the fact that he was tired and a little tipsy like Cas, he was gonna be stupid and make use of it. “Make me.” He wasn’t expecting Cas to do anything but to move away with an eye roll. He wasn’t expecting the feeling of Cas’s soft lips pressing against his.

Sam made a surprised noise in the back of his throat, but couldn’t stop the want to kiss him back. He tangled his fingers into Castiel’s hair, slowly running them through the strands as he tugged him closer.

Castiel’s tongue slid over his bottom lip, and it felt good, but Sam jerked away, worried. “Wait. You’re sure you’re not actually drunk?”

Cas shook his head, blushing again. “It takes a lot more to make me drunk. I’m honestly barely a little tipsy, I promise.”

“Then why are you kissing me?” Sam whispered, scared of the answer.

“What do you mean?”

“If you’re sober… Why the hell are you kissing me?”

“Why’d you kiss me back?” Cas countered, almost as quietly, ducking his head. “Are you sober?”

“Because… Um… I li-…” Now Sam’s face was heating up. “Sorry… I am sober though,” he added awkwardly.

“I like you, Sam.” Sam’s eyes widened as Cas met his gaze, biting his lip again after he rushed the words out.

“You do?” He was having a hard time believing that.

“Ye-” Cas’s reply was cut off by Sam’s mouth.

Cas moved closer, tilting his head upwards to reach Sam’s lips better, his hand on the back of his neck and his other hand grabbing the front of Sam’s sweater. Sam stumbled backwards, pulling Cas with him, and leaned against the back of the couch so that they were closer in height.

Sam whimpered a little and tensed in surprise when Castiel’s cold hand brushed against his lower back where his hoodie had slid up before relaxing against Cas’s gentle touch. Feeling more confident again, Sam hesitantly flicked his tongue out against Castiel’s lower lip, and Cas opened his mouth wider immediately, a quiet moan slipping out as Sam deepened the kiss, carding his fingers into Castiel’s soft, dark hair again.

Cas broke the kiss, and Sam reluctantly let him. “Does… Does this mean you like me too?” he whispered against Sam’s lips, his breath hot as he gasped in some air.

“Y-yes…” Sam looked down at the floor nervously before meeting Cas’s eyes again. “Yeah. I like you.” He felt oddly vulnerable having admitted it out loud to him, but Cas leaned forward, his lips brushing against the side of Sam’s mouth, trailing down to his neck and leaving soft, gentle kisses up and down his throat, chasing away the slight panic.

Sam sighed quietly and he could feel Castiel’s lips curve up into a smile against his collarbone, before he met Sam’s eyes, pulling his own lip between his teeth again.

“Don’t do that,” Sam whined.

“What?” He tilted his head slightly, still biting his lip.

“Th-the lip thing.”

“Oh… Why?”

Sam swallowed, blushing. “It’s… Well, it’s cute, and it makes me wanna kiss you, like, every time, and just-” He let out a frustrated huff of air.

Castiel’s eyes widened in surprise and he grinned, leaning closer so that his lips were almost touching Sam’s. “Well, you can technically kiss me now,” he mumbled. Sam’s breath caught in his throat, but he tilted his head slowly, molding his mouth against Castiel’s. He caught Cas’s lower lip between his teeth gently and Cas groaned softly into Sam’s mouth, making chills run up his back.

Sam let his hands slide down Castiel’s back and Cas relaxed against him, his chest pressing against Sam’s and his fingers tangling in Sam’s hair.

Suddenly, Cas jerked away, noticeably swallowing and blushing as he backed up a little. Sam looked over his shoulder to see where Cas was looking, and laughed nervously when he realized it was Charlie.

“Yo! It worked, Jo!” She yelled into the bedroom and Sam heard Jo whisper a loud “Yes!”

She walked out of the room and grinned. “You’re welcome, Sam.”

Sam’s face felt hot again, but he smiled sheepishly. “Yeah… um, thanks, I guess?”

Jo and Charlie high fived and giggled.

Sam glanced at Cas, who was staring at the floor awkwardly, and he grabbed his hand before he got too nervous to do it. Cas looked down at their intertwined fingers before looking up at Sam, a small smile dancing across his face.

“Um, we should probably head to our dorms,” Sam mumbled. “Class in the morning.”

“Uh-huh. Have a good walk back.” Charlie blew them a kiss before tugging Jo back towards her room and Jo waved quickly before the door shut.

Sam let go of Cas to grab his things and Cas watched him as they put on their jackets. “Why did Charlie and Jo act like…” His sentence trailed off and he shrugged.

Sam opened the door and laughed quietly as they both stepped out into the cold and started walking back to their dorm rooms. “Uh, they knew I liked you, and kept trying to get me to tell you.”

“Oh.”

Sam rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “I dunno.”

“You’ve… You’ve liked me for a while?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I’m not exactly sure when, but yeah. I’m just an awkward mess that can’t talk about stuff like that though, so I just… yeah.” His voice almost squeaked at the end and he snorted. “See. Can’t talk without my voice not cooperating.”

He glanced down at Cas’s hand when he felt it brush against his. He didn’t want to be annoying, but it was like Castiel could feel his hesitation and worry and gripped his hand instead, squeezing slightly. Sam smiled softly, even though Cas couldn’t see him, and squeezed back.

“Your voice cracking is cute, if I’m being honest. You know… makes me wanna kiss you.”

Sam’s face flushed, but he mumbled out a “Technically, you can if you want to” and his voice cracked again, as much as he tried to keep it from happening.

Cas stopped walking and pulled Sam’s head down to press one soft kiss against his lips and Sam’s eyes widened, surprised, just barely managing to respond before Cas pulled away and started walking again, gently pulling Sam along with him.

They got to the dorm room Cas shared with Balthazar and Sam meant to give Cas one short kiss but he tangled his fingers into Sam’s hair and kissed him slowly and deeply, before pulling away slightly, still standing in Sam’s space.

“Uh, Cas?”

“Yes?”

“You wanna go out for dinner tomorrow night?” Sam met Castiel’s his gaze with a nervous half smile, worried about how he’d react.

“Of course.” Cas’s blue eyes lit up, and Sam grinned, kissing him one more time.

“O-okay. See you tomorrow… Or t-today, if you wanna be technical.” He backed up, and Cas nodded.

“Goodnight, Sam.”

“‘Night, Cas.”

a/n: ehh, here’s this mess… feedback always appreciated, loves! xxx

tagging: @benevolentsam @hanabi-09 @wintersfavoritechild @loonypuppeteer @plaid-lover-bay25 @assbutt-still-in-hell @littlesistersam @gleelover1 @deadinsidebutliving @kisahawklin @nananorth030 @italy-kun27 @onlyslightlyobsessed1 @sastiel-and-such @mylifeisafuckingcrueljoke @feathersinthesky

random fact: i’m kinda working on a possible mini-series where sammy and cas are fake dating for the holidays [stanford au] and like? yes or no??

[spneditschallenge]

Welcome to the 2nd round of the Supernatural Edits Challenge! This challenge is open to all edit forms (graphics, gifsets, picspams, videos). This month’s theme is the Winchesters!

To Enter:

Reblog this post.

(optional) Follow the challenge blog!

Send an ask saying “i wish to participate + what you’ll be making”. (e.g. graphic, gifset, etc.)

You can enter until December 31st.

Next:

We will respond to your ask by 5th January with your prompt.

The deadline will be the 31st of January.

Please tag your post with #spneditschallenge and your partner’s url (if there is one) within the first 5 tags.

Please include the caption in your post. An example of the caption can be found here.

Let us know ASAP if you need an extension!

Your work will be reblogged within a week from posting.

If it’s not reblogged, please send in an ask with a link to your work.

To Note:

This challenge is purely for you to have fun and for others to enjoy your work.

There are no winners or losers!

[benevolentsam]

dystopian sastiel?

Sam’s legs ached.

He’d been walking for hours, maybe days. Time was starting to get lost on him; all he knew was that he was tired and needed to sleep. If only he could sleep. He wasn’t sure what would happen if he stopped moving, but he was on their radar now and he was scared that if he stopped they would find him. He wasn’t exactly sure who they were, but he’d seen enough kids taken away for being different.  Sam wasn’t going to be one of them.

The woods were dark, and Sam’s steps were starting to falter. Even if his legs didn’t hurt, he had to mind the tree roots. Trip wires the government set up to keep people from running. He couldn’t keep up the pace, he was completely burning out.

Sam collapsed against against a tree. His insides were burning.

Then he heard the crackle of a walkie-talkie. Fuck. That had to be the Eyes on him. How they found him, he’d never know, but they were too good. Fuck. Sam took off running, not caring about how his legs ached and how the floor was moving under his feet. Somewhere behind him, there were heavy footsteps -  louder and faster than his own. His heart hammered against his rib cage.

As he ran along, he stumbled over a tree root and began to fall. He landed in the arms of someone, strong arms and a steady chest, and he disappeared.

When Sam opened his eyes again, they were inside of a room with exposed brick wall. The hands around him let go and he fell to the ground. He stayed there for a second, catching his breath. The air around them was musty and dusty, and Sam was struggling for air, but the hands returned to his line of sight to help him. At the other end was a guy maybe a few years older than him with dark hair and bright eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked. His voice was gruff and a million miles away from the soft angelic features of his face. Sam nodded, and the guy pulled Sam to his feet. “You should be more careful.”

“What?” Sam glared at the guy, he wasn’t trying to get himself caught. He was exhausted and filthy. The guy looked like he was going to talk but Sam cut him off. “I was being careful - I don’t know how they found me. I don’t know how you found me!”

“You were in distress, I could feel it.”

“So you just zapped in there and kidnapped me?” Sam snapped. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful, but the guy was being kind of an arse about it. “Look, dude, I don’t know who you are or-”

“My name is Cas,” blue eyes said. “I run a refuge for people like you and I.” Sam didn’t try and question him. He didn’t know how Cas knew about his powers, but clearly he had some kind of power himself. Christ, he teleported them away from the forest, he had to be some kind of super hero.

Sam glanced around the room. It looked damp and dark, but it was better than spending his life on the run. There wasn’t much around beside a couple of plants and a door. Cas held Sam by the arm and pulled him through it.

There were more people in the next room. Kids like him, young adults who looked tired. None of them really looked up at them, content with whatever they were doing. It made Sam nervous, but Cas softly squeezed Sam’s arm and smiled down at him. Christ he was giving off Jesus vibes.

“You know I can hear your thoughts, don’t you?” Cas laughed. Sam’s heart skipped a beat, because fuck he did not know that. He knew others had powers, but he’d never met another telepath in his life. “I’ll show you around, I’m sure you’re exhausted.” The more Sam thought about it, the heavier his legs got. He could do with a nap, maybe a coma he wasn’t sure. 

Cas put his hand on Sam’s shoulders and the room warped around them. They were in a bedroom, just the two of them.

Sam sat on the edge of the bed. It was so soft under him, he felt like he was sat on a cloud. Or maybe he was just sick of sleeping on cold floors. Either way it felt so comfortable he could have fallen asleep right there. He had a few questions he wanted to ask Cas though.

“What is this place?”

“I told you, it’s a refuge for people like us,” Cas said. He perched beside Sam. “Well, it’s an abandoned cold war bunker, but it’s home for me. It can be for you too.” Sam took a second to study the features of Cas’ face. His jaw was strong, angular, and he had a sharp nose. A bit of stubble was growing on his chin, and it made him look old but his soft eyes betrayed him. There was no way he was much older than Sam.

“How long have you been here?”

“About six months, but I’ve known some of the kids here longer.” There was more Cas wanted to say, Sam could hear it screaming in his head but none of it was coherent. Pain and loss and a lot of other things he didn’t want to think about, so Sam decided to drop the subject.

“I can read thoughts too,” Sam said absently. “Sometimes I see things before they happen, and when I touch people I can feel what they feel.” Sam slid a hand onto Cas’ elbow. 

Blue. It all felt blue. Cas pulled away like he’d been burned.

“Sam,” Cas sighed. His mind was blank, had no idea what to say to fill the awkward silence. “You need to sleep. You’re tired.”

Sam nodded, laying back on the bed. It creaked as Cas stood, but Sam felt a sudden panic inside himself as Cas walked away. Everything around him felt empty.

“Stay!” Sam called after him. “Cas, please stay. I don’t - I don’t feel safe.”

The room was full again. Full of something Sam couldn’t explain but he felt security he hadn’t known since the day his mom had died. Cas took off his jacket, a damn suit jacket, and laid down beside Sam. They didn’t touch, but God Sam was washed over with warmth.

“I’ll protect you, don’t worry.”

[benevolentsam]

Guess who impulsively got her nose pierced

[benevolentsam]

oooooooh,, prompt- sam hears (human?)cas laugh for the first time? x

Sam hated his 9am modern history lecture.

Okay so maybe he just hated the TA for the class. The grad student who helped his lecturer was called Castiel, he was hot as Hell, and he’d never smiled in the whole semester Sam has known him. His entire speech pattern was made of eye rolls and extended metaphors. He had a dry sense of humour, and maybe that made him just the slightest bit more attractive to Sam. It was more than likely the way he looked in the suit he wore though.

When their Christmas essay was announced, Castiel opened his office up to help students. Sam may have been the first to put his name down on the list, pushing to the front of the lecture hall while his other classmates packed up. He didn’t particularly need help with his essay, he already knew what he wanted to write about, but if he had 30 minutes alone with Castiel was worth acting stupid.

Outside Castiel’s tiny office, attached to his professor’s, Sam was shaking. He didn’t want to be too early, so he waited outside. At 3pm on the dot, Sam knocked on his door.

“Come in.” Castiel’s voice was deep and gruff, it surprised Sam every time he heard it. Sam pushed the door open and took a seat in the small chair. “Sam, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you.” The was a small smile on his face as he opened up his brief case.  

Sam followed suit, pulling out a bunch of papers from his messenger bag. He’d already written the whole essay, first draft and halfway through his second. All Castiel needed to do really was grammar check it. He handed it over the desk, and Castiel took it gently from his hands. His eyes skimmed over the first page, before throwing it onto the table. He began to laugh.

Sam had never seen Castiel smile, so much as laugh. It was jarring, almost terrifying, and Sam couldn’t understand why he was actually laughing.

“You don’t need to see me, do you?” Castiel asked. He stood up and walked to the door. It clicked shut, locked loudly in a silent room. Sam gulped. Castiel perched on the edge of the desk, close enough that he could touch Sam if he wanted to. “Why did you come see me, Sam?”

He had no explanation.

“I’ve noticed you watching me in our lectures,” Cas told him. A breath caught in Sam’s throat as Cas leant in closer. There was very little space between their faces. “I don’t mind, you know. I enjoy watching you too, I think you’re incredibly intelligent.”

Sam was the one to close the space between them, stretching up so he could kiss Cas. It was deep and passionate and more than Sam could ever have asked for. Castiel’s fingers tangled in the back of his hair, pulling it just enough to bare Sam’s throat. His kissed downwards, planting bruises on the side of Sam’s neck. There was an almost feral grin on his face as he looked at his work.

“That’s why I came to see you,” Sam whispered. “I think you’re kinda hot.” Cas laughed again. He stroked Sam’s hair, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. 

“I think you’re cute, Sam, but I’m your TA. It’s inappropriate.”

Sam’s stomach dropped. He hadn’t taken that into consideration - Cas could lose his job over dating him. Still, Sam could smell Castiel’s aftershave and he wanted to go home smelling of it too. He looked to the floor, couldn’t trust himself to look at Castiel without crying. Deft fingers curled under his chin, soft from years of academics, and forced Sam to look up.

He kissed Sam again, this time much more gentle. 

"If you’re okay with it,” Castiel said, “I guess we continue this tonight.”

There was a knock at the office door. Of course, Sam wasn’t the only student who needed to see their TA. Castiel handed Sam back his essay, and went to unlock his door. As Sam stood, he shoved the essay in his bag and hurried out of the door. The other student, a guy Sam hadn’t seen since the beginning of the semester, pushed past him into the room. Castiel grimaced and Sam almost laughed but by the look of it Cas wasn’t in the mood. Before Cas shut the door, he caught Sam by the arm.

“We’ll work on this tonight at seven?”

“Absolutely. See you later, sir.”

[benevolentsam]

Life on Mars

Characters: Eventual Castiel/Sam Winchester, Past Ruby/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester Rating: Teen and Up Warnings/Additional Tags: Hurt!Sam, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Coma, Sam and Mental Health Summary: After being hit by a car, Sam ends up in a coma. While unconscious, Sam finds that he has to work through hims demons - his past relationships and his issues with self worth - before he can wake up. Sam has to confront things he thought were buried away. Chapter 1 2 3 // Also on Ao3

Dean could only watch as the heart monitor began to beep. Something had changed with Sam. He hadn’t flat lined, thank God, he hadn’t flat lined, but his heart rate was through the roof. Something had changed, and that something wasn’t good.

Cas was the first one to spring to action. He pressed the call button, and he was the one who began to gently talk Sam through it all. He was whispering something in Sam’s ear, as if Sam were doing nothing more than taking a nap, and Cas was trying to wake him up. There was a big difference between a nap and a fucking coma, but Cas didn’t really seem to grasp the situation. Dean growled.

“Sammy! Sam, you’re in a coma, you need to wake up!“ Dean yelled at his unconscious brother. Nothing. Of course, he’d already tried yelling, had tried it on the road and in the ambulance and in the ER. One more try wouldn’t hurt anyone. "Sammy, listen to me, you gotta wake up, man!”

“Dean, be gentle,” Cas reminded him. Gentle wasn’t gonna fucking cut it; he needed his brother to be okay.

A nurse burst into the room and pushed Dean and Cas out of the way. She checked over Sam, whose heart rate was still going off like crazy. Fucking Hell, if the nurse couldn’t fix it, then he was surely doomed. Dean had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying.

“I don’t know what’s wrong. Doctor Cara will be in in a second, but all I can say is tha I think this is coming from inside his head,” the nurse told them. Dean gave her a blank stare. “Sometimes*,* patients who have a near death experience create their own worlds inside their heads, like a dream. Most likely, something happened in Sam’s dream to cause such a reaction. Until Doctor Cara gets here, all I can do is speculate, but… I think you should carry on talking to him.”

Dean nodded and sat by his brother’s bedside. “C'mon Sammy, listen to us. Please.”

Sam’s heart didn’t show a sign of slowing down. Dean began to cry.

“You need to fight, Sam. You’re dying, man - you need to fight whatever’s going on in that brain of yours.” Dean couldn’t even begin to comprehend what Sammy was dreaming about. It must have been bad; Sam had dealt with nightmares before, but nothing had ever gotten him like this. His heart rate didn’t change, so Cas started talking to Sam on his other side.

“Sam, I know things seem bad, but they’ll be worse without you here. You need to get out of the coma, but first, you need to survive whatever’s going on right now,” he begged the unconscious boy. Nothing seemed to change, and Dean and Cas both turned away, defeated. What could they say to someone who thought they hated him?

And then it hit them: Sam’s heart rate was starting to slow down to a steady seventy beats per minute. Dean had never been so pleased to hear the beep of the heart monitor.

[benevolentsam]

Life on Mars

Characters: Eventual Castiel/Sam Winchester, Past Ruby/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester Rating: Teen and Up Warnings/Additional Tags: Hurt!Sam, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Coma, Sam and Mental Health, Drug Use, Toxic Relationships Summary: After being hit by a car, Sam ends up in a coma. While unconscious, Sam finds that he has to work through hims demons - his past relationships and his issues with self worth - before he can wake up. Sam has to confront things he thought were buried away. Chapter 1 2 // Also on Ao3

Sam recognised the apartment as soon as he woke up. It wasn’t his, nor was it Dean and Lisa’s. There was a dirty mattress on the floor, bottles of liquor scattered around the room, and an open bottle of pills on the table. It could have been any crack house in America, but it wasn’t.

It was Ruby’s.

He didn’t know what he was doing on the floor of his ex-girlfriend’s apartment. Maybe Dean had brought him here after the accident. Ruby knew some pretty dodgy people — she had to know a doctor who didn’t ask any questions and who wasn’t looking for health insurance. It was starting to make sense. Except Dean hated Ruby, and would probably let Sam die before seeing her again.

In all honesty, Sam would rather die than see her again.

Ruby came out of the bathroom, her make-up smudged and her clothes covered in blood. There was a feral grin on her face.

“Ruby, what am I doing here?” Sam questioned.

“Has someone had a little too much to drink again? I told you to lay off the Jack last night, babe,” Ruby replied smugly. She came over the Sam and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I’ve missed you, Sam. You need to lose your control freak of a brother, and move back in with me.”

“Did you- did you kidnap me from the hospital?” Sam asked. She must of done. It had to be some kind of misery situation. There was no other explanation as to why Sam would go running back to her.

“What hospital? What are you on about?” Ruby sat down on the floor beside him, narrowly dodging the needles on the floor. “Sam, you came back to me because you love me, remember?”

Sam couldn’t remember. It did sound like something he’d do though. Of all the people in his life, Ruby was the only one who was there for him no matter what. The last conversation he’d had with Dean replayed itself in his head. Cas and Dean didn’t want to be friends with him. They were looking for excuses to not have to hang out with him. Of course he went back to Ruby.

“Dean doesn’t-”

“Dean doesn’t love you, I know. You explained this to me when you came knocking on my door.” Ruby completed his sentence with a smile, blood-red lips curling. “Sammy, it’s only a matter of time before you stop running away to me, and just live with me again.”

“But Cas-”

“Cas can afford to pay your half of the rent. Hell, he might actually find a roommate he wants to spend time with.” The words dripped from her lips like poison, each drop of venom burning Sam a little more. He could still feel the pain of the car crash. Even if Ruby didn’t know what had happened, she had to see the pain on him.

She liked that though — she liked seeing Sam in pain.

“Face it, Sam, I’m the only one who’s ever really cared about you. I’m the only one who ever will.”

She was right. Sam hated to admit it, but she was right. Every argument with Dean, every tear he’d shed – Ruby was the one that had been there to mop it up. Maybe she liked his pain, but maybe she just liked to nurse him better. He let her kiss him again, and again, and again, until his face was a mosaic of ruby-red lipstick. Until he was marked as hers. He was hers, and he’d always be hers, as long as she made him feel loved.

“Listen, babe, I gotta go out. I’m meeting Lucifer about a shipment order. I’ll be back before dinner,” Ruby told him. She stood up and looked around the apartment before turning back to him. “Just don’t do anything stupid. Wouldn’t want you to hurt that pretty little vessel of yours. Oh, and don’t call your brother, we both know he doesn’t want to talk to you.” And with that, she was out of the door, leaving Sam alone in a filthy apartment with nothing but drugs and alcohol around him.

The air in the apartment was stifling. Sam didn’t know if it was the mould growing on the walls or the fact that Ruby liked to hotbox the room every now and then. Back at Cas’ apartment, where he’d been living since he last broke up with Ruby, everything was clean. Sam liked clean; he liked the strong smell of chemicals that came with cleaning, and the sense of doing something good and healthy. Cas just liked things to be neat. It was one of the reasons Sam liked living with him so much.

And of course, because he could sleep in the room next door to his crush.

That didn’t matter anymore. He’d pick a day when Cas was working and sneak back to collect all his things. It was better than inconveniencing Cas with his presence anyway.

He set about cleaning up Ruby’s place. It didn’t need to be too clean — I’m meeting Lucifer for a shipment order was code for I’m buying a shit tonne of cocaine and that meant there’d be people over that night. People like Ruby, users and addicts who wouldn’t care that the walls are stained green with damp. The only reason Sam had for cleaning the apartment was for his own peace of mind, and to stop him from thinking about Cas or Dean… or something much much worse.

He fought through the pain and sat up. He had a long day.

Ruby, true to her word, was back before dinner. In fact, she entered with a bag of take out in her hands. Sam hated take out food, hated the grease sitting in his stomach, but he was in no frame of mind to argue with her about something so stupid. At least she’d bothered to go out and find him food. She had a huge smile on her face as she set the paper bag down on the floor beside the door. She locked it behind her, trapping the two of them in the apartment together.

“Sam, babe, guess who scored some meth!” Ruby lilted. Sam’s eyes widened. Of all the crazy stupid things Ruby had done, she’d not used meth; at least, not around him. Sam had heard the horror stories – hell, he’d seen some of the people that took it. But Ruby had a packet of pale pink powder in her hand, and that meant that she was going to at least try it.

“You’re not- you’re not really gonna take that, are you?” Sam asked timidly. Ruby laughed and tossed the packet towards Sam.

“Of course I am. Lucifer’s coming over later and we need to show him how well his batch works,” she grinned. She took off her jacket and threw it on the ground next to the the take out. “Do you want some, Sam? I got Chinese.” Sam shook his head. The drugs had thrown him off; just thinking about them was making him feel sick. Ruby mumbled something to herself and picked up a carton of food, practically wolfing it down.

Sam waited patiently for her to finish eating before he brought up the meth again.

“Look, Ruby, I don’t think you should do this,” Sam started.

“You? No, Sam, we’re doing this together,” Ruby replied. Before Sam could respond, Ruby had taken the bag out of his hand and was opening it up. She lined it up on the floor, and Sam was momentarily fixated on the thought that it wasn’t clean, that the floor was dirty. But that was the least of their problems. He watched Ruby roll up a one dollar bill from her pocket and use it to snort the meth. She pulled her head back up and gave Sam a gruesome grin. Blood was dripping from her nose.

“Your turn, Sam,” she said. Sam tried to protest, he did, but Ruby forcefully handed him the dollar bill. “You need to do it, Sam. Prove you love me. Prove to me that you’re thankful that I love you. I’m giving you good quality shit here, Sam, for free. I want to see you snort it. Prove that you love me.”

Dying from a drug overdose couldn’t be any worse than living knowing Dean hated him.

Sam leant over and snorted like his life depended on it.

It took a few minutes, but Sam felt his heart speed up. It was like a jackhammer in his chest, beating louder and louder, like it was in the room with them. Suddenly, everything felt so good. He stopped thinking about his brother, his dumbass roommate. He stopped thinking about how much he hated himself. Only the beautiful woman in front of him and the elation of the drug pumping through his system filled his mind now.

His heart wouldn’t stop though. It became too much pretty quickly. Pain started in his arm and moved to his back, and then his chest. Fuck, fuck!He might have been dying. He fell back to the floor and let his body stop working. This was what he’d signed up for.

The door to the apartment blew off its hinges. Somehow, Dean and Cas had found him and they were stood in the doorway where the door should have been. They were saying something, something Sam couldn’t hear. And then, like sun breaking through clouds, he could hear them clear as day.

“Sam, you’re in a coma.”

“You need to fight, Sam. You’re dying, man. You need to fight whatever’s going on in that brain of yours,” Dean begged. He seemed close to tears, and the last time Sam had seen Dean cry was when Ben was born. The time before that, was when Sam had graduated college. His brother didn’t cry often, but he was so close to crying as he stared at Sam dying on the floor. Cas stepped in for him.

“Sam, I know things seem bad but they’ll be worse without you here,” he said. “You need to get out of the coma, but first, you need to survive whatever’s going on right now.”

With Dean and Cas there, Sam managed to get his breathing under control. If they were right, if Sam really was in a coma, then he could control his dreams. He closed his eyes and concentrated, imagining a safer time when him and Dean were kids. He felt his heartbeat slow down, falling into its regular pattern.

What the hell was he thinking, taking what Ruby had offered him? He’d been down this path before, and he knew where it led. Ruby wasn’t right for him. He looked back up to Dean and Cas, who were stood over him, offering dry smiles.

He didn’t need Ruby and her drugs to make him feel better. Not anymore.

When he opened his eyes again, he couldn’t recognise where he was.

[benevolentsam]

Me and @waywardkline are the cutest of eggs

[benevolentsam]

Can I ask for some Ruby/Lilith ? I prefer canon but feel free to write anything!

The hotel room was the cleanest place Ruby had been in a long time. Trailing around after the Winchesters didn’t offer much comfort, so when Lilith called she jumped at the chance to meet her. It wasn’t hard to placate Sam, she’d told him she had to stop one of the seals and he’d accepted it. The poor gullible idiot. Ruby smirked to herself.

She was laid back on the bed, king sized with soft sheets. Maybe if she was human, she could have have fallen asleep then and there.

The door to the room clicked open. Ruby turned her head to the side to see Lilith stood in the doorway with a coy smile on her face. The vessel she wore was beautiful, it took Ruby’s breath away whenever she saw it, but there was something about the look in her eyes that made Ruby’s heart pound. She swallowed. 

“Ruby, my favourite warrior,” Lilith said, sauntering over to the bed. She paused a step away from Ruby, watching her carefully. “You smell… human.”

“Well, I have been spending a lot of time with them,” Ruby laughed. As Lilith sat on the bed, the mattress dipped and Ruby shuffled a little closer to her. Lilith’s willowy fingers wrapped around Ruby’s thigh.

“How’s Sammy boy? Still in the dark?” She asked. Ruby nodded. The fact that Sam thought he was doing good was almost laughable. He’d been destined for evil his entire life, Ruby didn’t know how he always forgot that. “Is he still drinking your blood?” Another nod. Lilith’s lips curled into a predatory grin, her grip on Ruby’s vessel tightened.

“You’ve done good.”

“I always would for you,” Ruby said, and she meant it. She would walk to the ends of the Earth and back for Lilith. Hell, she’d go back on the torture rack if it was what Lilith wanted, but she knew Lilith wouldn’t ever ask that of her. She was the favourite. The best of all of Lilith’s lieutenants. When it came down to it, it would be Ruby and Lilith still left standing. Ruby felt a hand on her cheek, smiled into Lilith’s palm.

“I know,” Lilith’s eyes were bright. “We’ll be together soon, my love. Away from all this humanity.” Lilith planted a kiss on Ruby’s lips, so soft and tender but it made the lights in the room flicker. When she pulled away Ruby grabbed hold of the hand that was on her face, tangling her fingers in Lilith’s.

“Promise me,” she begged, but she knew Lilith couldn’t promise much. What was a demon but a liar though.

“I promise.”

Prompt me?

[benevolentsam]

I bought another Sam Winchester today lol (also bought a jacket that is a cross between Sam's ugly orange jacket and Jack's baby gay jacket)

[benevolentsam]

i kinda wanna do a sastiel cah night again

(would anyone be interested??)

[benevolentsam]

It’s femslash february in a few and I’m gonna try and stick to @waywardmills prompt list but if y’all have any prompts for me, hmu

[benevolentsam]

can someone do me a huge favour and see if I’m showing up in tags on tumblr?? I’m not showing up when I look up the tags ‘spn femslash’ ‘annaby’ or ‘spn femslash february’ even though I posted an annaby fic like half an hour ago??? 

[benevolentsam]

@waywardkline: I don’t know why I’m embarrassed, you write emmerdale fanfiction!