#lauter family

[amorhedera6]

thinking about solomon lauter sacrificing steph’s mom for political power. his most treasured thing. he tells everyone he’s devastated his wife has gone missing and it garners him a sympathy vote as well as the magically forced vote, so he gets mayor. but he gets it, and he decides it wasn’t worth it. he goes back to the black book begging nibbly (who the deal was with) to return her, and they tell him to be careful what he wishes for. he thinks about the implications, realizes he’s a demon who’ll get a laugh out of his torture and will make her a killer zombie or something. he’s more specific, asks to have his wife back as she was, and they say he could trade his sacrifice. kill stephanie and he’ll get samantha back. he finds himself considering it, then he snaps himself out of it, horrified with himself for considering killing his own daughter (who is like 3 here), and buries the black book in the middle of the forest, swearing to himself he’ll never let himself get near it again.

[jimjamjomjum]

Movie night

[fridgrave2-0]

some headcanons about max nerdification joining the nerdy prudes

i love to think about the nerds and max being friends is what they'll DEFINITELY make him play minecraft and watch max cry when he goes in his first cave and dies from a skeleton

richie would probably make max watch some dreamsmp shit but max will become a hermitcraft fan anyway. pete would prank max to sleep in the nether and then bond a little bit while they're gathering resources bc max's stuff was destroyed. ruth would be the only one to teach max the actual game while discussing nsfw stuff some theater things (bc they're both are theater kids)

tw mentioning sex?? idk it's npmd but okay // also max reads ruth's smut fics and gives her advices how to write realistic sex scenes because he knows how sex works. he's the only one who's pretty comfortable with her when it comes to her thirsty behavior and everything about it, even if she tried to make some moves on him in the beginning

richie ironically showed max hetalia when max said he has troubles with history. making max forget hetalia when he started to mention stuff from there in the class was not ironical

sometimes max gets breakdowns when he's overwhelmed by "smart shit" around him or when nerds accidentally ask him things he doesn't know and can't possibly know yet. he's more than okay with them, but he hates crying so he gets angry and it slightly scares the nerds even though he's not angry at them. still nerds comfort him with green tea (pete), fuzzy blanket (ruth), vids with puppies (richie) and a strong hug (steph)

max hangs out with steph even more since they've became a part of the group. they both are not that smart as the nerds and sharing a beer alone helps them process everything. they tell embarrassing storied about each other to the nerds since max and steph know each other for a while

richie made max play in genshin and it was a mistake. pete showed max the lord of the rings and the hobbit and it was a mistake. ruth showed him some gothic musicals and it was a mistake

once when steph was talking about her shitty dad max joined the conversation and for a whole hour and a half was describing why solomon lauter sucks as a mayor what he does wrong and how a good mayor should act with a bit of why the whole system is broken and should be changed. couple of times max was saying words what the nerds didn't even know and they collectively agreed what max is really a nerd too

[connorscreek]

okay but imagine pete and steph singing crazier than you

that’s basically if I loved you

[sandwich2451]

Chapter four’s finally finished! Sorry for the wait - anyways, here’s the Time Loop blurb for those who haven’t heard of it: 

In Hatchetfield, people go missing everyday. Usually, though, time loops are out of the question. But when Paul has been asked to hand in his weekly reports three days in a row, he realizes it's not just Mr. Davidson being a forgetful boss. And his alarm has a new feature, counting down from thirty...

[slautertm]

📖 ( AU ) + DnD

half elf, only child and heir to human, king solomon lauter, stephanie denies and tries her best to hide from her noble background as the princess abruptly fled from her home in the middle of the night and despite the high reward for her return, steph has been a year free of her royal duties as she roams and does small mercenary tasks for pay to survive, secretly on a mission of her own, in part to find out more about the strange being her father has worshiped her entire life and haunts her at night, and to find out what happened to her mother, one day hoping to reclaim her kingdom for herself but unable and unwillingly to do so with her father on the throne--- well someday. right now, she just wants to figure out and put an end to the strange voice that pops up inside of her head from time to time and the occasional toll it takes on her.

for now, though, she is living day by day, trying to hide who she is, what her family is know to worship and who she is from- she cut her hair short, she has an amulet that prevents her from being tracked that she stole, even going as far as using a fake name- eila.

in terms of dnd classes- steph has three levels in warlock from her upbringing, though she is aiming to one day free herself from the corrupt forces ( ie- nibbly, who she is trying to pull herself free from his commands and frequent nightmarish visions he sends her way ). she has multiple levels in rouge and will be taking various little levels in different subclasses based on those around her.

[ulrichgebert]

Weil es gerade so schön war mit dem 70er-Jahre-Altersunfug machten wir gleich mit Meister Hitchcocks weiter.

[lilacthebooklover]

hatchetverse but paul accidentally becomes everyone's parental figure. lex & hannah's? sure, they deserve a good parent who'll look out for them. stephanie lauter? yeah, why not, her dad highkey sucks. richie? absolutely, could even make them be biologically related for the lols. he meets peter through ted, they're chill (potential for angst if ted disappears in this iteration of the multiverse). he's the guy alice goes to about all of her stresses and worries- the 'cool uncle'. he meets ruth at the coffee shop where he sees emma before they have a concrete relationship, ruth is very vocal about how she wishes she could have a partner too. he could be even max freaking jagerman's unofficial dad (he does not think max has to fight off "one lousy skele'un" to be worth something). he tries to solve grace chasity's religious guilt with "yeah no sex is normal" and she views him as a source for all advice on the matter after that. paulkins but paul is a tired dad and emma doesn't find out he has like 50 kids until they've been dating a couple months and one of them randomly runs into his house. she introduces him to tim and he just rolls with it. it's another nephew, okay, neat. he's not great with kids but he finds himself with loads of them somehow anyway. then they all face off against sadistic eldritch gods and multiple cults together like a family. what more could you want?

[ratsarecute4]

Some Hatchetfield Headcanons

Richie had a Warrior Cats phase in elementary school

Ruth owns a pet chameleon named Yoda

Max thinks that Pizza Pete's is owned by Pete, and that is where he gets the money for his rich kid bowtie

Mayor Lauter pays Steph's allowance in cryptocurrency

There was a month where the Clivesdale Chemists and the Hatchetfield Nighthawks had an even higher amount of hatred for eachother than usual. The Chemists accused the Nighthawks of stealing their mascot (they didn’t, the kid just moved to Hatchetfield)

Because of the mascot stealing allegations, the Chemists decided to steal the Nighthawks mascot for ransom, but they let Richie go after an hour because he wouldn't stop explaining the plot of One Piece

The problematic puppy Steph got in a Twitter fight about was the cop dog from Paw Patrol

Ziggy owns a couple of pet snakes

The Smoke Club has a rule that you must wear at least one weed-patterned item of clothing to meetings or else you're out of the club

Ted is one of those guys whose bedroom has just a mattress on the floor and a TV sitting on a bunch of cardboard boxes

Also Ted gives big lives in his parents' basement vibes

Steph had a creepypasta phase

No one at CCRP ever knows what to get Paul for work holiday parties so now he owns a bunch of gifted mugs and he's starting to run out of cabinet space because he doesn't want to get rid of anything that was gifted to him

The Hatchetfield High theatre department has never payed for the rights to a play. The students don't know about this. Ms Mulberry is fully aware of how illegal that is but continues to do it anyway. Hatchetfield is a small town, they won't get caught. Also the theatre department has like no funding

Grace was a horse girl in elementary school and she used to eat grass

Charlotte sells DoTERRA essential oils on the side. Everyone at the office has tried to tell her its basically a pyramid scheme but she doesn't believe them

Miss Holloway was a famous rockstar in the 80s, but after she made a deal with the Lords in Black, her past existence was wiped from everyone's memories and no one ever listened to her songs again

Grace has OCD, specifically religious scrupulosity

Richie owns so many body pillows that he no longer has room for himself on his bed

Ruth and Sherman Young have beef with eachother from Ruth's middleschool My Little Pony phase

Kyle is autistic and I will die on this hill

Max's mom dissapeared after being crowned Honey Queen. She wanted the prize money to support her family because Max's father was layed off from his job

I just know Brenda and Stacy are super into astrology

Local teens describe Paul's aesthetic as "cardboardcore"

Ted has one of these tattoos. He doesn't remember getting it and it took him forever to notice because it is on his back. It is a miracle that it never got infected

[rentumblsstuff]

Hypothetically…. NPMD Monster High AU……….

Pete: A poltergeist. Peter Geist just wants to be invisible but he’s constantly getting into mischief with his friends that draws too much attention to himself!

Steph: Mummy cause she’s gotta keep family secrets UNDER WRAPS ;) and in MH the DeNiles are also a powerful family so having the Lauters be mummies is just so…

Richie: Freshwater monster!! He wishes he was a Ningen from the western Pacific but actually he’s just from Lake Michigan lol he loves swimming and sushi and you can tell when he’s dehydrated when the blue on his hair starts to turn brown!

Ruth: Frankenstein’s monster. Kinda a given with FrankenRuth. I imagine she’s constantly altering her body parts to try to be as attractive to others as possible. The bolts are on her temples and her headgear attaches to it

Grace: Vampire. It’s funny because she doesn’t get to touch a cross AND Angela is Italian so no garlic for Grace :(

Max: A Jekyll and Hyde type creature. I imagine his Jekyll side is the Max we see in the Waylon place, and The Jägerman persona is the Hyde, and the Hyde half is easily triggered when he’s overwhelmed or intimidated and is hard to control. Not necessarily kept at bay without music like Jackson and Holt, but hey what are you gonna do, amiright?

Brenda and Stacy are definitely werecats that roll in the same pack, Jason is a fellow vampire, and Kyle is a werewolf which is part of the reason Max wouldn’t let him date Brenda

Talk about being a literal monster lmao

[random-jot]

Little Things I wanna know more about in Hatchetfield:

Pete & Ted’s dad sells women’s shoes. This is the ONLY bit of information we have on the rest of the Spankoffski family

Duke has a cat

Frank has a dog (or had depending on which timeline 😢)

Solomon Lauter made a deal with the Lords In Black

Barry Swift is/was married (timeline dependant)

Barry Swift also called Wiggly his “little boyfriend,” wanted Tom & Becky to “skip to the fucking,” and Paul* & Emma* to “Just kiss already” (Well, Not Paul and Not Emma, but, splitting hairs) — the point is, in every appearance except ‘Daddy’ Barry seems to be, not unlike another Hatchetfield resident, something of a horny bastard 👀

On top of that, Barry was invited to Paul & Emma’s wedding?? (again, splitting hairs)

James’ shopper character from Black Friday. Just, generally, what’s his deal, who is he?

Curt’s plant worker from Black Friday too

And everyone else in the line at ToyZone

In fact every minor character, I need their names and full backstories, stat!

And above all, just WHAT exactly was being protested at the Hatchetfield Kennel???? 🤔

[onstagesport]

I saw a twitter post wishing for interactions between Lex and Steph and I need to pitch a Nightmare Time called "Wicked Stepsisters"

After Solomon Lauter's charity photo-op in the Hatchetfield Trailer Park, Pamela Foster manages to schmooze her way into a marriage with the mayor. The relationship goes smoothly at first with the Fosters gaining financial stability and Solomon gaining clout before the election.

But that doesn't last for long. Steph is irritated with Pamela for using them for their money and pissed off at her father favoring Lex because he can buy HER good behavior; Lex--sorry, Alex. Solomon paid the name change fees for Hannah and Lex, and Lex Lauter "just doesn't sound as good"--is annoyed at her mother's fake-ass housewife routine and snippy with Steph because at least she grew up with money to compensate for having a bad parent; Hannah doesn't do well with the attention and being paraded around as a prop for Solomon's new Disability Advocacy campaign; Pamela doesn't want her daughters to ruin this for them; and Solomon's image is faltering with all of these problems surrounding him.

So what does he do? He packs them all up for a family retreat at the Outclast Resort in the prettiest part of the Witchwood so they can relax and find some common ground before they cost him the election.

Obviously things get worse; it's Hatchetfield.

[tnt-tourney]

welcome one and all to the 2023 t+t tournament!! despite the long wait for the final bracket, the day has finally arrived. due to the size of the text, the list of contestants will be under the cut. due to how many contestants there are, i wont be able to tag everything, but i will tag as much as i can.

now, since it's been a while, a quick rehashing of the relevant rules!

1. be polite to others participating in the vote

2. do not Rig the vote -- propaganda is more than welcome and the askbox is always open for it! i just dont have the energy to deal with botting

3. dont be rude if the contestants youre rooting for are voted out!! sometimes thats just the way things go. theres always next time!

4. have fun !

the polls will start rolling out sometime next week. thank you!!

left:

Hexsquad (The Owl House) VS. Vault Hunters (Borderlands 1+2)

The Bad Kids (D20: Fantasy High) VS. FloweringPassionFruit (Ride the Cyclone)

Barbie + Ken (Barbie) VS. Dwarves (Deep Rock Galactic)

Mabel Pines + Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls) VS. The Fantastic 4 (Marvel)

Klaus Hargreeves + Viktor Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) VS. Spiderband (Spider-Man: Into/Across the Spiderverse)

Lup + Barry Bluejeans (The Adventure Zone) VS. Cleo de Nile + Deuce Gorgon (Monster High)

Spideypool (Marvel) VS. Gomez Addams + Morticia Addams (The Addams Family)

Team Rocket (Pokémon) VS. Rashmi Jamil + Amelie Macon + Loam Arnault (Entropic Float)

Link + Zelda (The Legend of Zelda) VS. Peter Parker + Harry Osborn (Marvel)

Huey Duck + B.O.Y.D. (Ducktales 2017) VS. Golf Ball + Tennis Ball (Battle for Dream Island)

Lewis + Vivi + Arthur (Mystery Skulls Animate) VS. Horokeu Usui + Pirica Usui (Shaman King)

Paulkins (Hatchetfield) VS. Magnus Chase + Alex Fierro (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard)

Bill Preston + Ted Logan (Bill and Ted) VS. Leonard Church + Agent Texas (Red vs. Blue)

Ariel + Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid) VS. Polypirates (JRWI: Riptide)

Cody Goodwin + May Goodwin (It Takes Two) VS. Frank-N-Furter + Magenta + Columbia + Riff Raff (The Rocky Horror Show)

SpaceDolls (Ride the Cyclone) VS. Kim Possible + Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible)

---

right:

The Guardians of the Galaxy (Marvel) VS. Julian Bashir + Miles O'Brien + Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

The Murder Crew (Clue) VS. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Vash the Stampede + Nicolas D. Wolfwood + Meryl Stryfe + Milly Thompson (Trigun) VS. Team Chaotix (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Steve + Alex (Minecraft) VS. Gyro Gearloose + Lil Bulb (Ducktales 2017)

Phantom Thieves (Persona 5) VS. Wright Anything Agency + Apollo Justice + Klavier Gavin (Ace Attorney)

Westley + Buttercup (The Princess Bride) VS. Shin + Noi (Dorohedoro)

Kermit + Miss Piggy (The Muppets) VS. The Mechanisms

Jeremy Heere + Michael Mell + Christine Canigula (Be More Chill) VS. The Solve It Squad (The Solve It Squad Returns)

Harleyberts + Crockenglishes (Homestuck) VS. Sonic & co. (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Mulder + Scully (The X-Files) VS. Steph Lauter + Pete Spankoffski (Hatchetfield)

Main Cast (Omori) VS. Ben Tennyson + Gwen Tennyson + Kevin Levin (Ben 10)

Ashe Ubert + Claude Von Riegan + Sylvain Jose Gautier (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) VS. Birdetta + Yoshi (Mario)

Prime Defenders (JRWI: Prime Defenders) VS. Strilondes (Homestuck)

The Mystery Gang (Scooby Doo) VS. Billie Logan + Thea Preston (Bill and Ted)

Splatoon Idols VS. Lexthan (Hatchetfield)

Sex Bob-omb + Ramona Flowers (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) VS. Jonathan Sims + Martin K. Blackwood (The Magnus Archives)

[royall-ass]

Not a request, just a headcanon dump cuz i need someone to rant to about them! ^_^

Alex's Hatchetfield Headcanons

Paul Matthews used to sing and dance all the time as a child, but stopped when someone in his class in freshman year started bullying him for it to the point he also ended up hating musicals (especially after watching Hatchetfield High's production of Brigadoon). NOW HEAR ME OUT- IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY BUT SO SAD FOR PAUL TO HAVE A BACKGROUND IN MUSICAL ARTS BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL DID YOU HEAR HOW EASILY HE HIT THEM HIGH NOTES IN LET IT OUT?!!! WHEN HE WASNT EVEN FULLY INFECTED?!?!?!?!!!

Literally every single John Matteson character is autistic in some way. Including Wiggog Y'Rath. Bro has the eldritch equivalent or smthn.

Linda Monroe is half british. I really don't know how to explain this one but i just feels right to me.

Richie Lipschitz forgets he's 18 a lot because he thinks he's mentally still 13/14 due to COVID + his obsession with anime. Someone will call him a perv/pedo for liking one of the girls in MHA or smthn and he'll defend himself by saying "but i'm a minor too?!" and then he just pauses for a sec to think about what he just said. And then would cry about it into his body pillows at home after school.

Ruth Fleming is hypersexual. There, I said it.

Max Jägerman is an older brother, and his younger sibling gets all the attention from their dad, leaving Max to be kinda neglected and 'shunned' (abused) by his dad, all because he was the "bad child".

To add onto the previous headcanon, Max has a raging inferiority complex to which he uses his bullying and faux confidence to hide behind. Kinda like a Katsuki Bakugo typa beat but ... not? If that makes sense??

Due to intense religious beliefs , Grace Chastity's parents never taught her the quote unquote 'birds and the bees' because they thought it would be sinful to speak of such a thing to their daughter. This caused Grace to think she was being possessed or smthn when she first got her period because according to her logic/knowledge why else would she be bleeding from the 'mommy spot'? She also figured out the "self pleasure" on her own, but would do it in secret because she knew it was sinful and her parents would be disappointed in her. She never understood why it felt good though, all she knew was that it helped to stop the butterflies in her stomach whenever she thought of Max.

Stephanie Lauter is DEFINITELY chronically online, like that girl says W Rizz for SUREEE. To the point where she taught her dad what mewing was and he wouldn't stop doing it all day.

Yet another Paul Matthews headcanon because he's my special little sunflower, ummm... Paul doesn't just like black coffee, he also loves dark chocolate, and i mean like 85% cocoa dark. Although the rest of his family think he's a weirdo for it, they still get him a bar or two for his birthday + christmas every year. FOREVER AND ALWAYS SPECIFIC HC -> Emma made their wedding cake a dark chocolate/black coffee version of tiramisu as a little surprise for Paul <3

Charlotte Sweetly is a purple person in theory but not in execution, as in she ADORES purple, but cannot be bothered to buy lots of purple furniture,decor etc

Ted Spankoffski knows how to crochet!! Charlotte taught him how to in highschool (i see them as being childhood friends) and he just kinda kept it as a hobby.

Both Ted and Peter Spankoffski's favourite animal is (ironically) goats. Their parents used to live near a farm so the two grew up around farm culture and got to meet the goats and cows etc at this farm. Peter's baby toy was a crochet goat stuffie that his older brother made for him <3

Ruth's room is COVERED in stuffed animals and posters and random things she's collected over the years. She also has a notebook full of all her stuffed animals' names written in blue glitter gel pen that Richie lent her for an art project in freshman year that she never gave back.

Finally, Hatchetfield itself is a small island town on Lake Michigan, hence how the only way to get to it is across a body of water (Clivesdale has to put bridges up/down to gain access). Also that the Lords In Black utilise Tinky's abilities to create new Earths to destroy them over and over. Except the one detail they keep the same/ongoing is Hatchetfield and its residents. Because they're obsessed with them for some reason. Tinky and Nibbly more so than others .

I do apologise for how long this is but i needed to get it out of my notes app 😭😭 ~ Alex, @wiggogwiggogyrath

OH MU GOD I LOVE ALL OF THEAE

I CANT GET THE IDEA OF STEPH BEING IN THE BACKGROUND OF ONE OF HER DAD’S INTERVIEWS OF TV AND MEWING OUT OF MY HEAD 😭😭

[ace7librarian]

Hatchetfield Jewish headcanons!

Based on surnames and some unrelated headcanons.

*After Jane died, Tom really wanted to keep the Jewish traditions for Tim, but he had zero clue what to do, so he called Emma. She also had no idea what to do, but she tried her best.

*Ruth and Richie make fun of Pete for being the only goy in the squad. Everyone just assume he's Jewish, and that makes him really confused. Also, Ruth unironically ships Tanakh characters.

*Shapiro has a Jewish dad and a Catholic mom, so she got the Jewish surname and the Catholicism. She breaks the glass in her and miss mullberry's wedding. Miss mullberry is also Jewish.

*at one timeline Steph finds Solomon with the black book or something and blames him for encouraging the stereotype that Jews worship Satan.

*Dan Reynolds is Jewish. I have no reason for this.

*the following conversation happened at some point.

Emma: and I'm not going to let some republican, Christian old man-

Bob Metzger, offended: Christian????

Emma: ....

Bob: there's ONE synagogue. How did you never see me there???

Emma: I was smoking outside???

Bob: we're a big family! My grandchildren were outside! Our last name is Metzger!!

Emma: ....sorry. A republican old man.

Bob: there you go.

*Karen Chasity is very upset about having Solomon lauter as a mayor. Sam sweetly as well. I just know these two would want a Christian mayor.

*Daniel/stopwatch invites the other kids to celebrate Jewish holidays with him. Sophia melts some candlesticks and Hannah starts having visions when they read the Haggadah, but they still had a great time.

Characters that deserve an honourable mention:

The spankoffskis sound very Jewish, but we know ted is a Christian, and they both went to a Christian summer camp.

Linda says "mensch", but with the implications of the rich bitch being Jewish? No thanks. Plus she has way too much Christian symbolism in her character. My headcanon is that she heard Jews were controlling the media so she started using Yiddish slang to look richer. I'm sorry, but she would.

I love Gary Goldstein, but he is a walking stereotype.

[letsnovago]

I'm such a fucking dumbass- You know how a lot of characters in Hatchetfeild have names that allude to either their character archetype or family history?

Stephanie/Solomon Lauter = Slaughter

Grace Chasity = Chastity

Charlotte Sweetly = Sweet

Well I just realized that the reason Ted's last name is Spankoffski was because he's a pervert and it sounds like "Spank off"...

How did I not realize this sooner??? I've been watching starkid since 2018 😭