#lauter family

[amorhedera6]

thinking about solomon lauter sacrificing steph’s mom for political power. his most treasured thing. he tells everyone he’s devastated his wife has gone missing and it garners him a sympathy vote as well as the magically forced vote, so he gets mayor. but he gets it, and he decides it wasn’t worth it. he goes back to the black book begging nibbly (who the deal was with) to return her, and they tell him to be careful what he wishes for. he thinks about the implications, realizes he’s a demon who’ll get a laugh out of his torture and will make her a killer zombie or something. he’s more specific, asks to have his wife back as she was, and they say he could trade his sacrifice. kill stephanie and he’ll get samantha back. he finds himself considering it, then he snaps himself out of it, horrified with himself for considering killing his own daughter (who is like 3 here), and buries the black book in the middle of the forest, swearing to himself he’ll never let himself get near it again.

[jimjamjomjum]

Movie night

[pixthefuckup]

things that happened to me that i think hatchetfield teens would experience

richie: got chosen as a throwaway member for a sports team in gym and ended up being the goalie. i had an entire sports anime arc with these guys (the captain learned how to develop and delegate better, the strikers were foils of each other with one learning to be more smooth while the other learned to be more aggressive, the midfielder realized that he was super important and his good stamina wasn't the only reason he got the role, and i learned to stop doubting myself, how to use all my experience to realize flaws in the other team, and go for it) we were literally a thrown together team because the captain just wanted the role for more credit. we somehow won the entire tournament.

ruth: im in a theatre group that makes its own original play through january to february. now, the plays are always hitting and they're incredibly. but... each time i improvised a random filler line, it ended up getting stuck in the show no matter how bad it was. i was performing night after night the same shitty "we're friends! friends are supposed to tell each other things!" because i couldn't figure out how to start an argument weeks ago and nobody could either apparently. i mean, i apparently got laughs but i couldn't hear shit over the rushing embarrassment in my ears. i can commit to the bit but not without internally dying ig

either side of potseed: i got high once in a park surrounded by theatre kids and instead of being chill or dazed, like i imagined, i started yapping about dante's inferno and fanfiction, their connections to each other, and then their connections to the veil and reaching past human life to things unable to be held but yet taken as precious things to be obsessed over and analyzed. mind you, it sounded incoherent af because i was high. this was also my first time getting high (if this sounds familiar and you follow me NO IT DOESN'T HAHAHA I NEVER USED THIS EXPERIENCE FOR ANOTHER FANDOM) steph: had a 10 minute compilation of me tweaking out over essays i did not give a single fuck about until deadline day (all the videos were in timelapse) bc i thought it was funny (i eventually deleted it for storage but im sure i can recreate it this year since it's my junior year) pete: i once managed to get the tea about my entire middle school hierarchy and secret dynamics because i had been sat at the table of two popular kids who didn't notice me. so while they were gossiping, i was sitting there, quietly doing math and also listening in. i was a goddamn master at multitasking. ziggs: me and my friend were trying to get weed so we followed a stranger who promised to lead us to a shop where he would buy the weed for us (dumb idea i know). instead, we got a bunch of lies about his backstory, an entire lecture on buying weed a certain way, and then he guilttripped me. thankfully, my friend got us out. we ran back to our group and we lied to them about all the shops being closed because it was too crazy and too embarrassing to admit what actually happened. hannah: my family has weird psychic experiences. it's really long to explain in detail but essentially: my grandaunt could hear ghosts and have dreams convening with spirits as well. my mom could have odd dreams and convene with people, whether overseas or dead. my brother used to see ghosts and predict the future. short example: he once told my dad their airplane home would break down. he was right. he forgot his experiences and abilities as he grew up. (the lex to my hannah fr fr) as for me, i could see past demons and had weird companions to warn me. the story's a bit long when properly told but tl:dr: white bear tried warning me of demon dad, i didn't listen, had to try and see past demon dad to get to real one. demon dad was standing in front of regular dad. i manage to walk through demon dad (freezing btw) and hug regular dad. white bear sees this as i go back to sleep on the pull out couch with dad, thumbs up.

[fridgrave2-0]

some headcanons about max nerdification joining the nerdy prudes

i love to think about the nerds and max being friends is what they'll DEFINITELY make him play minecraft and watch max cry when he goes in his first cave and dies from a skeleton

richie would probably make max watch some dreamsmp shit but max will become a hermitcraft fan anyway. pete would prank max to sleep in the nether and then bond a little bit while they're gathering resources bc max's stuff was destroyed. ruth would be the only one to teach max the actual game while discussing nsfw stuff some theater things (bc they're both are theater kids)

tw mentioning sex?? idk it's npmd but okay // also max reads ruth's smut fics and gives her advices how to write realistic sex scenes because he knows how sex works. he's the only one who's pretty comfortable with her when it comes to her thirsty behavior and everything about it, even if she tried to make some moves on him in the beginning

richie ironically showed max hetalia when max said he has troubles with history. making max forget hetalia when he started to mention stuff from there in the class was not ironical

sometimes max gets breakdowns when he's overwhelmed by "smart shit" around him or when nerds accidentally ask him things he doesn't know and can't possibly know yet. he's more than okay with them, but he hates crying so he gets angry and it slightly scares the nerds even though he's not angry at them. still nerds comfort him with green tea (pete), fuzzy blanket (ruth), vids with puppies (richie) and a strong hug (steph)

max hangs out with steph even more since they've became a part of the group. they both are not that smart as the nerds and sharing a beer alone helps them process everything. they tell embarrassing storied about each other to the nerds since max and steph know each other for a while

richie made max play in genshin and it was a mistake. pete showed max the lord of the rings and the hobbit and it was a mistake. ruth showed him some gothic musicals and it was a mistake

once when steph was talking about her shitty dad max joined the conversation and for a whole hour and a half was describing why solomon lauter sucks as a mayor what he does wrong and how a good mayor should act with a bit of why the whole system is broken and should be changed. couple of times max was saying words what the nerds didn't even know and they collectively agreed what max is really a nerd too

[kronkypears]

okay but imagine pete and steph singing crazier than you

that’s basically if I loved you

[sandwich2451]

Chapter four’s finally finished! Sorry for the wait - anyways, here’s the Time Loop blurb for those who haven’t heard of it: 

In Hatchetfield, people go missing everyday. Usually, though, time loops are out of the question. But when Paul has been asked to hand in his weekly reports three days in a row, he realizes it's not just Mr. Davidson being a forgetful boss. And his alarm has a new feature, counting down from thirty...

[slautertm]

📖 ( AU ) + DnD

half elf, only child and heir to human, king solomon lauter, stephanie denies and tries her best to hide from her noble background as the princess abruptly fled from her home in the middle of the night and despite the high reward for her return, steph has been a year free of her royal duties as she roams and does small mercenary tasks for pay to survive, secretly on a mission of her own, in part to find out more about the strange being her father has worshiped her entire life and haunts her at night, and to find out what happened to her mother, one day hoping to reclaim her kingdom for herself but unable and unwillingly to do so with her father on the throne--- well someday. right now, she just wants to figure out and put an end to the strange voice that pops up inside of her head from time to time and the occasional toll it takes on her.

for now, though, she is living day by day, trying to hide who she is, what her family is know to worship and who she is from- she cut her hair short, she has an amulet that prevents her from being tracked that she stole, even going as far as using a fake name- eila.

in terms of dnd classes- steph has three levels in warlock from her upbringing, though she is aiming to one day free herself from the corrupt forces ( ie- nibbly, who she is trying to pull herself free from his commands and frequent nightmarish visions he sends her way ). she has multiple levels in rouge and will be taking various little levels in different subclasses based on those around her.

[ulrichgebert]

Weil es gerade so schön war mit dem 70er-Jahre-Altersunfug machten wir gleich mit Meister Hitchcocks weiter.

[angsty-art-ist]

part 2 of the NPMD Monster High AU! seriously thank you guys for all the love on part 1, it means a lot that you like my silly hyperfixation crossover :]

a little lore note: in this AU, monsters can use magic to blend in with humans during the day, sort of like in the g3 cartoon. Hatchetfield is kind of split into the normie side and smaller monster side. the monster part of town is magically warded to make humans want to leave quickly, and monsters don’t tend to cross over into the human areas (with the exception of adults with normie jobs, like Mayor Lauter and most of the adult HF cast). Hatchetfield High is a “exclusive private school” in the monster part of town, and the normie teens, like Grace and Max, go to Sycamore.

why are Grace and Max humans if this is a monster AU, you ask? don’t worry, i have plans for them :)

Steph:

she’s a vampire because… well because she’s rich. you’ve heard of old money? these Lauters are ancient money

i had a hard time with her outfit because my main references were Draculaura and Elissabat, who are both very dressy, but i wanted to stay true to Steph’s casual grungy style… and then i remembered The Lost Boys were THEE original grunge vampires, so i mashed David and Paul’s jackets together and gave her a Santa Carla tee as a shout-out

the chains and plaid pattern tie back to Pete’s design, like the plaid of her flannel and his bow tie in the show <3

her father isn’t technically actually a king, but runs Hatchetfield’s monster community like he is one. a close encounter with a band of monster hunters the better part of a century ago forced the monsters into hiding under his command, and Steph’s mother ended up staked. Solomon hasn’t been the same since…

Max:

his design is simpler than the others, but that’s for a reason :) the mansters usually have more boring outfits than the ghouls, so it’s not that out of place for Monster High, right? i plan to make a few more ‘doll lines’ for this au- i’m thinking Dawn of the Dance next ;)

his jacket is based on the G1 varsity jackets that Heath Burns and Slo Mo had in their first waves, but with Max’s iconic blue. i got rid of the Hatchetfield ‘H’ since he goes to Sycamore with the other normies in this AU. go Timberwolves, i guess?

his striped shirt is based on Freddy Krueger’s iconic sweater, because Max in the musical seems to take a lot of cues from Freddy; coming back from the dead to get revenge on his killers, vulgar one-liners, gruesome kills, and even a parody of the Freddy rhyme painted on the set background. one, two, Jäger’s coming for you…

side note but i had a really hard time getting Will’s likeness in this pseudo-MH style. i think he ended up a bit too Bruce Campbell-y. maybe it’s the chin.

Grace:

sorry, Grace, i’m changing your name a bit. if you need a refresher on the G1 MH lore; Van Hellscream is the Monster High expy of Van Helsing. his niece Lilith appears in the Ghouls Rule movie, but i’m stretching out the timeline a bit so let’s say Lilith is Grace’s aunt or something. Chasity is her maiden name, which the family goes by because “Hellscream doesn’t sound very Christian”

these days, the Van Hellscream’s monster-hunting legacy is more of a family legend than history, and her parents don’t even believe that monsters exist… but Grace knows that something unholy is going on at that “private school”. she may not have Great-Uncle Abraham’s arsenal, but she has the power of God and years of repressed rage on her side

design wise she changed the least from her canon outfit. she’s covered in monster-killing weapons- crosses, stakes, silver bullets, and the flowers on her blouse and jeans are alliums, aka garlic flowers- which, fun fact, were originally thought to be what repelled vampires, rather than garlic bulbs!

her blouse is based on Nancy’s nightdress in Nightmare on Elm Street to match with Max’s Freddy stripes

[lilacthebooklover]

hatchetverse but paul accidentally becomes everyone's parental figure. lex & hannah's? sure, they deserve a good parent who'll look out for them. stephanie lauter? yeah, why not, her dad highkey sucks. richie? absolutely, could even make them be biologically related for the lols. he meets peter through ted, they're chill (potential for angst if ted disappears in this iteration of the multiverse). he's the guy alice goes to about all of her stresses and worries- the 'cool uncle'. he meets ruth at the coffee shop where he sees emma before they have a concrete relationship, ruth is very vocal about how she wishes she could have a partner too. he could be even max freaking jagerman's unofficial dad (he does not think max has to fight off "one lousy skele'un" to be worth something). he tries to solve grace chasity's religious guilt with "yeah no sex is normal" and she views him as a source for all advice on the matter after that. paulkins but paul is a tired dad and emma doesn't find out he has like 50 kids until they've been dating a couple months and one of them randomly runs into his house. she introduces him to tim and he just rolls with it. it's another nephew, okay, neat. he's not great with kids but he finds himself with loads of them somehow anyway. then they all face off against sadistic eldritch gods and multiple cults together like a family. what more could you want?

[ratsarecute4]

Some Hatchetfield Headcanons

Richie had a Warrior Cats phase in elementary school

Ruth owns a pet chameleon named Yoda

Max thinks that Pizza Pete's is owned by Pete, and that is where he gets the money for his rich kid bowtie

Mayor Lauter pays Steph's allowance in cryptocurrency

There was a month where the Clivesdale Chemists and the Hatchetfield Nighthawks had an even higher amount of hatred for eachother than usual. The Chemists accused the Nighthawks of stealing their mascot (they didn’t, the kid just moved to Hatchetfield)

Because of the mascot stealing allegations, the Chemists decided to steal the Nighthawks mascot for ransom, but they let Richie go after an hour because he wouldn't stop explaining the plot of One Piece

The problematic puppy Steph got in a Twitter fight about was the cop dog from Paw Patrol

Ziggy owns a couple of pet snakes

The Smoke Club has a rule that you must wear at least one weed-patterned item of clothing to meetings or else you're out of the club

Ted is one of those guys whose bedroom has just a mattress on the floor and a TV sitting on a bunch of cardboard boxes

Also Ted gives big lives in his parents' basement vibes

Steph had a creepypasta phase

No one at CCRP ever knows what to get Paul for work holiday parties so now he owns a bunch of gifted mugs and he's starting to run out of cabinet space because he doesn't want to get rid of anything that was gifted to him

The Hatchetfield High theatre department has never payed for the rights to a play. The students don't know about this. Ms Mulberry is fully aware of how illegal that is but continues to do it anyway. Hatchetfield is a small town, they won't get caught. Also the theatre department has like no funding

Grace was a horse girl in elementary school and she used to eat grass

Charlotte sells DoTERRA essential oils on the side. Everyone at the office has tried to tell her its basically a pyramid scheme but she doesn't believe them

Miss Holloway was a famous rockstar in the 80s, but after she made a deal with the Lords in Black, her past existence was wiped from everyone's memories and no one ever listened to her songs again

Grace has OCD, specifically religious scrupulosity

Richie owns so many body pillows that he no longer has room for himself on his bed

Ruth and Sherman Young have beef with eachother from Ruth's middleschool My Little Pony phase

Kyle is autistic and I will die on this hill

Max's mom dissapeared after being crowned Honey Queen. She wanted the prize money to support her family because Max's father was layed off from his job

I just know Brenda and Stacy are super into astrology

Local teens describe Paul's aesthetic as "cardboardcore"

Ted has one of these tattoos. He doesn't remember getting it and it took him forever to notice because it is on his back. It is a miracle that it never got infected

[rentumblsstuff]

Hypothetically…. NPMD Monster High AU……….

Pete: A poltergeist. Peter Geist just wants to be invisible but he’s constantly getting into mischief with his friends that draws too much attention to himself!

Steph: Mummy cause she’s gotta keep family secrets UNDER WRAPS ;) and in MH the DeNiles are also a powerful family so having the Lauters be mummies is just so…

Richie: Freshwater monster!! He wishes he was a Ningen from the western Pacific but actually he’s just from Lake Michigan lol he loves swimming and sushi and you can tell when he’s dehydrated when the blue on his hair starts to turn brown!

Ruth: Frankenstein’s monster. Kinda a given with FrankenRuth. I imagine she’s constantly altering her body parts to try to be as attractive to others as possible. The bolts are on her temples and her headgear attaches to it

Grace: Vampire. It’s funny because she doesn’t get to touch a cross AND Angela is Italian so no garlic for Grace :(

Max: A Jekyll and Hyde type creature. I imagine his Jekyll side is the Max we see in the Waylon place, and The Jägerman persona is the Hyde, and the Hyde half is easily triggered when he’s overwhelmed or intimidated and is hard to control. Not necessarily kept at bay without music like Jackson and Holt, but hey what are you gonna do, amiright?

Brenda and Stacy are definitely werecats that roll in the same pack, Jason is a fellow vampire, and Kyle is a werewolf which is part of the reason Max wouldn’t let him date Brenda

Talk about being a literal monster lmao

[random-jot]

Little Things I wanna know more about in Hatchetfield:

Pete & Ted’s dad sells women’s shoes. This is the ONLY bit of information we have on the rest of the Spankoffski family

Duke has a cat

Frank has a dog (or had depending on which timeline 😢)

Solomon Lauter made a deal with the Lords In Black

Barry Swift is/was married (timeline dependant)

Barry Swift also called Wiggly his “little boyfriend,” wanted Tom & Becky to “skip to the fucking,” and Paul* & Emma* to “Just kiss already” (Well, Not Paul and Not Emma, but, splitting hairs) — the point is, in every appearance except ‘Daddy’ Barry seems to be, not unlike another Hatchetfield resident, something of a horny bastard 👀

On top of that, Barry was invited to Paul & Emma’s wedding?? (again, splitting hairs)

James’ shopper character from Black Friday. Just, generally, what’s his deal, who is he?

Curt’s plant worker from Black Friday too

And everyone else in the line at ToyZone

In fact every minor character, I need their names and full backstories, stat!

And above all, just WHAT exactly was being protested at the Hatchetfield Kennel???? 🤔

[jetsteelyourheart]

Hatchetfield Meta Head-cannon: Bill used the Black Book to become Solomon Lauter the Mayor of Hatchetfield

For this scenario we are absolutely gonna ignore that hot minute that Alice and mayor Solomon appear at the same time during Killer Track*

Hear me out: After the events of Watcher World, Bill realized there was some freaky shit going on in Hatchetfield, but he also wanted a way for him and his daughter to be close again. He learned about the black book and used it to give him the money and ability to keep Alice safe.

The power? Become the mayor.

What does he want? Keep Alice safe and have her live with him instead.

What does he give up?

Well, whats the most important thing in the world to Bill? The time spent with his daughter

Bill and Solomon Lauter are the same person. Solomon has all of his old memories, so he remembers the cost of the book. The best way Bill can keep Alice safe is if he doesn't care about her the most of any person, and the same for her. Bill/Solomon has to keep his distance and also make sure that he is not what Alice/Steph cares about most. It doesn't work though, because Max (and his super sense for Nerds) sees Solomon for who he really is: Dorky, musical loving Bill the dad.

Similarly, Alice is now Stephanie Lauter, with no memory of being Alice. She has a similar overall personality, and isn't into the normal popular girl fair (frankly, its interesting she's even considered popular, as she seem perfectly happy to buck all norms). The one big clue they may be the same? The obsession over the phone:

At Watcher World, Alice was glued to her phone and the big tipping point was Bill dropping it off the roller coaster - it literally caused them to almost kill each other. Alice was constantly watching her phone. In Watcher World. Who is influenced heavily by Blinky.

Then later in NPMD, we see that Steph has an unhealthy attachment to her phone, but we don't really understand why beyond the "haha kids today, am I right?"

Solomon even goes so far as to try and smash it with a hammer, and is only stopped when Steph literally places her hand in the way. This scene parallels so hard with the scene in Watcher World where Bill is playing the hammer game and has visions of smashing Alice's head with the big hammer, as he isn't able to win her a Blinky Doll.

I really want to know what's on that phone that is so important to Steph, because she mentions pictures and contacts but never why they are so important to her. I think part of it is Blinky's subtle influence, but what if there's more than just that - what if she has photos she doesn't remember: photos of when she and Bill were a family and they looked happy?

TLDR: Bill Woodward used the black book to change his daughter's fate, making them into Solomon and Steph Lauter, and in doing so lost what was most precious to him: Steph's memories of their happiness as father and daughter

[onstagesport]

I saw a twitter post wishing for interactions between Lex and Steph and I need to pitch a Nightmare Time called "Wicked Stepsisters"

After Solomon Lauter's charity photo-op in the Hatchetfield Trailer Park, Pamela Foster manages to schmooze her way into a marriage with the mayor. The relationship goes smoothly at first with the Fosters gaining financial stability and Solomon gaining clout before the election.

But that doesn't last for long. Steph is irritated with Pamela for using them for their money and pissed off at her father favoring Lex because he can buy HER good behavior; Lex--sorry, Alex. Solomon paid the name change fees for Hannah and Lex, and Lex Lauter "just doesn't sound as good"--is annoyed at her mother's fake-ass housewife routine and snippy with Steph because at least she grew up with money to compensate for having a bad parent; Hannah doesn't do well with the attention and being paraded around as a prop for Solomon's new Disability Advocacy campaign; Pamela doesn't want her daughters to ruin this for them; and Solomon's image is faltering with all of these problems surrounding him.

So what does he do? He packs them all up for a family retreat at the Outclast Resort in the prettiest part of the Witchwood so they can relax and find some common ground before they cost him the election.

Obviously things get worse; it's Hatchetfield.

[bow-of-aros]

What do you want, Pete?

I decided to just say fuck it and post this here in its entirety just for funsies :))

Summary:

What if the thing that Peter Spankoffski treasured most wasn't Stephanie Lauter, but instead his older brother who'd gone missing months ago?

Guys. I've gone literally insane over this series. Ted and Peter are so babygirl to me I love them so much. I just. ALDSJDKSJLDAJKSJK you know?? Anyway, enjoy this idea that took over my brain until I got it out!! <33

One of you must give up the thing you treasure above all else. 

Those words ring in Peter’s ears. Vaguely, he can hear Steph offer something with a very unpleased reception that makes him cringe out of some deep-seated survival instinct, and he feels fingers that are longer than they should be and uncannily boneless card through his hair.

“Steph?”

His voice reverberates through his head as though coming from underwater. His eyes land on the gun in her lap, and something in the back of his mind whispers danger!

It’s drowned out by the crash of memories that yell TED!

Ted Spankoffski, Pete’s older brother by over a decade and the only family member who’d ever bothered to give half a shit about him. Their parents had dropped Peter off at his doorstep at the ripe young age of six, right when they realized that a second child wasn’t going to be the thing that saved their failing marriage and fucked off to who knows where. The only contact he had with them was when they sent Ted money to put towards supporting a whole ass other person when he was just barely out of college.

Every time he met someone, they would raise their eyebrows and say, “Spankoffski? Like Ted Spankoffski?” and then pat him on the shoulder sympathetically when he said yes. Pete always had to push down the anger that threatened to bubble up because, yeah, Ted could be an asshole, but nobody even bothered to know him before making their fucking judgments.

Ted had had a shitty life, with the same shitty parents Peter had, and then had a child dumped on him before he’d even had the chance to properly figure out who he was.

By all accounts, Ted should’ve been an awful guardian, and it’s what everyone seemed to assume. But damn if he hadn’t done his best.

He’d driven Peter to school until he was old enough to take the bus on his own. He’d shown up to every science fair and asked a shitload of questions just to make Peter smile as he answered them. He dressed Peter up for every pointless graduation and cheered embarrassingly loudly when his little brother walked across the stage.

When Pete got older, Ted had been the person to cut his hair and take him shopping for new clothes when he first came out as trans. He’d sat the kid down and told him that he’d always have Ted, and always have a room in his apartment. Then, he’d added that if any of Peter’s dork-ass friends ever needed a place to crash, that the door was always open.

A few months ago, Ted had left mid-hookup with Charlotte Sweetly to pick up a bruised and bloodied Peter from school. He’d almost made it through the school day before bumping into Max Jägerman on the way out and Ted had made it across town in an amount of time that had to have been illegal. They’d spent the rest of the night after getting Pete patched up and sitting on the couch watching trashy TV, Ted muttering increasingly absurd threats of violence towards someone half his age the whole time until Peter finally cracked a smile.

The next morning, Peter Spankoffski had woken up, and his brother wasn’t there.

It wasn’t a big deal at first. Ted might’ve gone to work early (unlikely) or met up with a friend (what friend?). But, after hundreds of unread texts and unanswered calls, Peter asking anyone he could think of if they’d seen Ted to no avail, and waiting up every night until he passed out from sheer exhaustion, straining his ears for footsteps that never came, well…

It’s Hatchetfield. People go missing every day.

“Pete?” A hand on his shoulder ripped him back to the present, and Peter scrubbed away tears as he looked at Steph’s terrified face.

He turned his face away from her.

He blinked.

And he found himself looking into the glowing yellow eyes of the crazy-ass goat man who seemed to already know him. T’noy Karaxis, a voice whispered into his ear, a foreboding sense of familiarity washing over him, making his blood run cold.

The Lord in Black grinned impossibly wide at him, blue tongue lolling out and the stench of death radiating off of it.

“Hi Petey-pie!” It laughed, and the laugh grated against his hears for seconds and for eons, “I think that I know what you want~”

Its voice had a horrible sing-song quality to it, like someone who’s thrilled to know a secret that you don’t. The longer that Peter looked into its eyes, the harder his head pounded. Its rectangular pupils stretched far and wide, twisting into never-ending corridors that sent bursts of pain through him as his brain tried to wrap itself around the impossibilities.

“HEY!” The hand on his shoulder yanked him back, the paths of yellow fading as he saw Steph standing between him and that monster. “Leave him alone! What the fuck is your deal?!”

Its smile didn’t fade and Peter could feel its eyes burning into him even through the girl in front of him. The intensity only increased when he blinked to find Wiggly standing next to him, beaming with the sort of glee he would attribute to a kid on Christmas morning.

“Now, now,” He chided, “I’ve convinced my brother here to give up something very dear to him and it wouldn’t be nice if my little fwendy wend didn’t hear him out.”

Peter tried to smile reassuringly at Steph, but the It’s okay, I can do this that he’d wanted to convey had probably leaned more into Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Either way, she seemed to understand what he was getting at and stepped out of the way.

The second she did, a bright yellow flash blinded him. He could feel reality warp around him as the chilling screams from across hundreds of thousands of universes converged in this one fragile moment. When Peter opened his eyes again, blinking away the dots seared into his vision, what he saw nearly brought him to his knees.

Ted looked exactly as he did the last night they saw each other save for the tear tracks that streamed down his cheeks, soaking his shirt.

His brother looked up and a small gasp escaped his lips.

“Petey?”

Suddenly, this ritual meant nothing. The Lords in Black and Max Jägerman and this whole fucking town could go fuck themselves because Peter wasn’t alone anymore.

“Ted! Holy shit!” Neither of them mentioned how Peter’s voice cracked as he launched himself into his brother’s arms, sobbing into his chest as familiar arms wrapped around him and held him so tight he felt like he might explode. Finally, finally, he was safe.

“How touching.”

Except he wasn’t.

Their arms tightened impossibly more around each other as they looked up at Wiggly through teary eyes, clinging onto the flimsy hope that they wouldn’t be separated again if they could only will it hard enough.

Surprisingly, it was Ted who spoke first, “What the fuck do you want with my brother you sick fucks?! AM I NOT FUCKING ENOUGH FOR YOU?!”

Wiggly didn’t bother to acknowledge the outburst, attention solely fixed on Peter, green light seeping out of him and into the teenager’s pores, filling every inch of him with a sense of wrong.

“This is the other option,” The Lord’s eyes shone as maliciousness seeped into its voice, “Tinky has enough Teds to last him a good, long while, but things will be a little empty without him there. So, if you want us to take Maxwell off your plate, you can trade him,” A crooked finger pointed at Steph, “for her.”

Immediately, Peter and Ted started talking over each other.

“What?! I don’t even know where he’s been—”

“She’s a fucking child you can’t put her in the Box—”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Wiggly silenced them both. His wrathful tone is in stark contrast to the rest of the Lords grinning and dancing behind him.

He stared down at them, “Alright, let’s make this a little more interesting. If you don’t want to trade him in, you have to send him back. You need to say the words I condemn my big brother to an eternity of torture to save a girl who talked to me for the first time a few weeks ago.”

Wiggly’s arms were spread wide, palms up like a benevolent god, “Your choice, Peter. Of course,” He said, walking back over to Steph, “You won’t have to give up your brother if she puts a bullet through your skull. Just think, you could set your brother free, and you have options!”

A cacophony of laughter echoed through the gym, rattling their bones and reverberating against the crash of thunder that sounded outside.

“We’ll leave you to decide. Hopefully, Maxy doesn’t get you first!”

And then they vanish, but not without Tinky leering at the still entangled brothers and whispering Tick-fucking-tock.

Silence rings through the space, the only thing keeping Pete grounded being the warmth of his brother at his side. Steph is looking down at the gun in her trembling hands, tears slowly starting to drip from her eyes as Grace just stares down at the Black Book, blood drained from her face and seemingly catatonic.

“Pete. Petey.” Ted turns to look him in the eye and there’s something achingly different. Aside from the sliver of yellow that rings his pupils, they look so old and so scared. Like he’s been away for decades instead of months, seeing things no one should ever have to see.

And from what he’s heard, that might not be too far off.

Still, Ted pressed his lips into a firm line to steady his voice before saying, “You have to send me back. The Box is no place for a kid and you will not fucking die, do you hear me?!”

No matter how tight Ted is holding on, Peter can still feel how he’s shaking, can still hear the slight break in his voice as Ted’s eyes dart frantically across his face, drinking in the sight of the brother he thought he’d never see again.

“I can’t. I can’t.” He’s crying again, but Peter can’t be bothered to give a damn right now, “I love you. You’ve been gone for months and it’s been horrible. I can’t do this without you Teddy.”

Ted flinched at that, squeezing his eyes shut and taking in a shaky breath as emotions flickered across his face too quickly for Peter to decipher.

“I love you too, Pete. That’s why I can’t let you be fucking stupid, okay?!” Ted ran a hand through his already disheveled hair, “I don’t know what the fuck is going on here, but you have to let me protect you. Send me back and never even think about the Lords in Black again, graduate high school and live your life and date Stephanie fucking Lauter.”

At her name, Peter’s eyes flickered up.

He looked at her.

He looked at the gun in her hands.

He looked back at his brother.

“You’ve protected me my whole life. It’s my fucking turn.”

Peter disentangled himself from Ted despite his frantic protests and ran up to Steph, wrapping his hands around hers and, subsequently, curling her fingers around the gun.

“Steph—” He was cut off almost immediately.

“No. Nonononono Pete I won’t. I can’t.” She pleaded with him, “Trade me in, I don’t have anything left here anymore. My dad’s dead, I never really had any friends, and any potential I had went down the gutter years ago."

Her gaze flickered over to Ted who was not-so-subtly trying to inch closer to Grace and the Book, much to Grace’s growing annoyance. “But you can get your brother back! I know how much you’ve missed him, how much he means to you. You’re going to make a real difference, Pete. You have shit to live for and I don’t.”

Ted was walking up to them now, having given up on Grace, and seeing how determined he was to keep them safe only solidified the decision he’d already made.

“Look. I’m not sending either of you into whatever Hell dimension Ted literally just got out of.” Peter turned to face them both, speaking fast and leaving no room for interruption, “I’ll let Max kill me before I do that to either of you. I’m dying either way, let me at least do something good with it.”

Something shifted in Steph’s face, a realization that Peter wouldn’t be swayed, and she nodded shakily as she adjusted her grip on the gun.

“Do it, Steph. Please.”

He took a few steps back, ignoring Ted’s desperate Nononono Petey you can’t fucking do this! He tried to rush forward, but Steph raised the gun and aimed it right at Peter’s forehead.

BANG!

A force knocked Peter down, sending him to the ground as pain exploded through the back of his head.

Wait. The back?

Peter fought through the swimming in his head to pry his eyes open just to see that what was weighing him down actually wasn’t the darkness coming to claim him.

It was Ted.

“Ow! Ow ow ow fucking OW!” Ted rolled off from on top of his younger brother, clutching at his shoulder, “Your aim is fucking shit, Lauter! Jesus Christ.”

Peter quickly scrambled to his knees, hovering over his brother who had just taken a bullet for him, tears welling up again for the millionth time, because apparently today was the day for it.

“Shit Ted!” He wasted no time in ripping off his sweater, leaving him in his white collared shirt, and pressing it to the rapidly bleeding wound in his shoulder, “You dumbass! What the fuck were you thinking?!”

And Ted laughed at him, “What the fuck was I thinking? What the fuck were you thinking?! That bullet wasn’t even going to hit you in the head!” Peter pressed down a little harder and Ted hissed out a breath from between his teeth, “Holy shit being shot hurts more than I thought it was going to and I have had a lot of shit done to me.”

“What are you talking abou—”

“Well, well, well,” Thunder rumbled through the gym, seemingly disregarding trivial things like walls and ceilings in its volume, “Look at what we have here.”

“Oh God. He’s here.” Steph crowded up against Peter and Ted, shielding them with her body as Peter desperately tried to keep the pressure firm with his shaking hands.

“I didn’t know that there were two dork-ass Spankoffskis!” Max walked out from behind the bleachers, a mock pout sitting on his lips, “But I was really hoping that Steph was going to make my job a little easier and get rid of the little bitch. Too bad, now it looks like I get to kill two for the price of one!”

“But first,” His hand whipped out unnaturally fast, grabbing hold of Steph and throwing her off to the side, “I’m going to deal with you. You lured me to my death! You betrayed me, you fucking Judas!”

“Your brother’s going to be just fine, Peter.” The nurse looked down at him with sympathetic eyes as he hunched over Ted’s hospital bed in the uncomfortable plastic chair that seemed to be mandatory for some insane reason. “He got lucky and the bullet didn’t hit any major arteries. Maybe you should go home and get some rest. Take a shower, get a change of clothes, we’ll keep an eye on him until you get back.”

“So you do know the Bible!” Oh. So that’s where Grace went.

---------------------------------------------------

Even the thought of letting Ted out of his sight drenched him with fear, so he squeezed Ted’s hand tighter and said, “No, thank you. I think I’m going to stay here until he wakes up if that’s alright.”

For a brief second, Peter could’ve sworn that he saw a brief flash of annoyance accompanied by a yellow shine in his eyes before it was gone and an understanding grin took its place. It was so convincing that Peter almost started questioning whether he was losing it but, after everything he’d been through recently, he wasn’t going to be taking any chances.

The door swung open and in walked Steph wearing mismatched clothes from the lost and found and trying to dry off her damp hair.

“Hey, Pete.” She said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, “He wake up yet?”

His eyes fell back onto his brother. Even asleep he looked exhausted, deep lines worried into his skin that hadn’t been there before. When was the last time he’d gotten some rest?

Peter shook off the question, adding it to the pile of shit he was going to be asking Ted when he woke up.

“No. Not yet.”

She pulled back with a slight wrinkle of her nose, “Yeah, well, no offense Pete, but you fucking reek. I left a pile of clothes that I think might fit you on the chair, so please go take a quick shower. I don’t care if all you do is rinse yourself off, you have to do something.”

“But—” He didn’t get very far before Steph gathered his free hand in hers.

“I promise I won’t let anything happen to him, okay?” Steph looked him in the eye, “Pete. I won’t even blink until you get back, I promise.”

And, you know what? He believed her.

Peter gathered up the clothes with a grateful smile and a quick glance at Ted who was still lying there, “I swear to God, Ted, if you’re not still here when I come back I am going to climb into that Box and kill you myself.”

The hospital walls were bright and seemingly endless and too close to the labyrinth he’d seen in that thing's eyes, so it was a relief when he turned into the washroom and locked himself into a shower stall.

There was a mirror in there and wow he looked like shit, no wonder people kept telling him to take a shower. But something was off, and as he looked a little closer, Peter realized that his eyes weren’t the usual brown.

Instead, they were a bright yellow.

His reflection grinned at him, and that stink of death roiled over him as it spoke.

“Just you wait, Petey-Pie! Soon, I’ll have you and my precious Teddy Bear back in my collection.” His skin started peeling from his face as his jaw stretched until it dislocated and then kept going until a long blue tongue spilled out, “Oh boy! We’re going to have so much fun.”

And then Peter blinked, and his own pale, terrified expression stared back at him again. Brown eyes and all.

The worst part was that he could still smell it. He must’ve taken the fastest shower of his life, scrubbing himself until he was nearly raw before throwing the clothes onto his still-soaked body and rushing back to Ted’s hospital room.

He crashed through the door, heart pounding, just to see Ted and Steph exactly where he’d left them.

Except, Ted looked over at him with a weak smile and Peter nearly collapsed in relief.

His brother extended an arm in invitation and Peter basically dove into the bed beside him, holding on tight and telling his racing heart to calm the fuck down because Ted was here.

“Hey, Petey.”

Ah, shit. More tears. Because of fucking course there would be.

Peter managed a wobbly grin because everything was finally as it should be and said, “Hey, Ted.”

It was a nice moment until Steph cleared her throat a little pointedly, causing both Spankoffski’s to jolt guiltily.

“Jeez, Pete.” Ted jostled him a bit, mindful of his healing shoulder, “You’re a terrible fucking host. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?”

Peter went to sit up, and Ted’s arm tightened instinctively before letting him go, even though they didn’t fully break contact. “Yeah. Yeah! Uh, Ted, this is Steph.” Steph waved with a fond smile on her face, “And Steph, this is my brother, Ted.”

Ted reached out with his good hand, “Nice to meet you. Kind of insane that my brother managed to pull someone so far out of his league, but you’ve got a good guy on your hands.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Steph had to raise her voice to be heard over Peter’s groan, “And I know, Mr. Spankoffski, I’m just happy that he decided to give me a chance.”

“Oh God, kid, don’t call me that. My name’s Ted.”

As Peter listened to them talk, he laid his head on his brother’s chest, revelling in them all being alive. As sleep overtook him, the melodic harmonies of Ted’s heartbeat and the clock on the wall settled within him. A promise that they would make it through.

Thump-thump.

Tick. Tock.