#last year I barely managed it and I only lived on the 2nd floor. Now I live on the 3rd.

[morrigan-sims]

I miss doing sims stuff. It's been almost a month since I've really done anything sims-related (other than the Rook outfit), and I miss it SO much. Hopefully now that I'm done with classes (I just have a few exams next week and then I'm done for real), I'll have the time and brain energy to do sims stuff more often.

Idk that I'm going to get anything interesting posted by the end of April, but May... I have plans for May. It's Rook's birthday in May!!! (Both in terms of when I first played him and when he was born in-universe, actually, though the two are not the same date.)

If I don't finally finish and edit this one render by his birthday, I'm going to lose my mind, because it's been a WIP for almost a year now. (Don't worry, it's not an angsty one. As much as I love tormenting him, it's time I gave him a break, at least on the render front.)

(P.S. - Good luck on exams to anyone who is currently in school!! You're gonna kill it!!!)

[themultifandomfreak]

Hi king! What is SCP? And how do your OC's tie in? (Permission granted to blab as much as you want abt it)

Greetings the OC slorper xoxo

Idk how to explain what scp is but i can use this as an excuse to write whole paragraphs to explain my oc and a bit of his lore 😎

Uh basically

Naythen Graham Smith, born [REDACTED] Smith on April 30th 1977, was the 2nd of 6 children born to Percival and Mary Smith.

Not much is known about his childhood, other than that he was heavily mistreated, which ended in the murder of his family when his family died in a car crash.

After this event, Smith was left homeless until he had enough money tomove from his small house in Portsmouth, to somewhere in New Jersey, where he managed to get a scholarship for Biochemistry, something he excelled at.

He did normal college stuff, like drinking and hanging out with friends. An example of this is when he was dared to eat gross things on the side of the road (this would never lead to life changing consequences!).

When he was 18, he met someone. He didn’t exactly have a crush, but he did care very deeply for her. She was in most of his classes, so they managed to become friends. They shared the same last name, which is because it’s a common last name, but they still jokes that the reason why they were so close was because they were secretly twins.

She gets pregnant (not by him, don’t worry.) but soon after the baby is born, oh no! She dies in a fire. Only her child lives. Now, smith is excellent at forgery, an example is that he never legally got his name changed. Anyways, he decided “well I am NOT letting her child go up for adoption!!” And he forges her birth certificate into saying his name as the father.

Little side note, the woman was a little mad, and was testing on herself/her child WHILST she was pregnant, and was seeing how she could change a human embryo’s dna without killing it. Some bits of dna include wolf, dog, cat, bird, other human, lizard, and axolotl. This causes Maddison(the daughter) to have some slight birth defects. Such as, an allergy to chocolate and grapes, amazing hearing and sense of smell, slight sight issues (she doesn’t like using glasses though), the ability to grow certain things back when cut off, she also sometimes grows useless feathers, which she usually plucks out. She also has a tail and ears, similar to a wolves or a dog’s. She normally hides this (when required) by wearing hats and long dresses

Btw she was made by my little sister!

Anyways he doesnt actually care for her properly (basically the bare minimum) until he is almost 21. At that point he ditched the friends that made him eat random stuff off the road (again, will NEVER have life changing consequences), and he somehow figures out a way to stay in college and also look after a 2 year old??????????? Anyways he graduates at 22, works at smt like fast food or retail for a year, and then somehow gets hired by the foundation??!???

This is where i make him fit into the lore. Somehow.

Luckily for me, whenever I make an oc, I make an au so i can rewrite characters to make him fit. If only i can figure out how i’ve rewritten them. Idk. All ik is that he kind of uses his job to an advantage, because OH NO!!! THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS!! OF BEING DARED TO EAT STUFF OFF THE FLOOR!! HE ATE AN INCURABLE PARASITE! AN ANOMALOUS PARASITE!

So he tests on himself to figure out a cure. He only finds a treatment which is still only ever temporary. This testing actually causes a cursed gene in him to activate, because the bloodline he was born into was cursed by an entity to be immortal and be able to heal quickly and shit. This gene got turned off at some point, but he’s managed to turn it back on. He also finds out he keeps being reincarnated because of a curse on his own soul by the same entity. He only finds that out because people in the past have been documented of having the same birthmark, having a second birthmark that represented the way that life died, and having some slight memories of the life before them. He has the same birthmark, a birthmark shaped like a knife slash across his chest, and wow! Memories of his past life.

You might think “oh what a coincidence! He has 2 curses from the same entity!” WRONG!

The parasite was actually ‘blessed’ by the entity.

This is actually pure coincidence though, the entity told me.

Anyways that was like in the 2000’s. He lives in the modern day!! Ish. It’s more like august this year. Anyways he’s 47 now, and he directs the anomalous and scientific research department (is that a real department! I don’t know, i just wanted to make him be a bit higher up than a normal scientist.)

Does any of this make sense? Hell no! Do i care? Hell no!

Random fun facts about him but my phone is lagging oh dear oh no

He is allergic to aspirin, ginger, and pollen.

He will absolutely brush off his trauma. Do not expect what he is saying to be the actual truth. It will only be a really washed out version of it (washed out? Washed up? Ehhh idk the phrase)

His healing is actually sped up by the treatment. The only special thing about his healing without it is that he can heal from fatal injuries and stuff.

He can also still get sick.

He actually needs many things, like a pacemaker and a cane, but he will NOT ever get them or acknowledge he needs them until its actually a diagnosed full on problem

The parasite causes a sort of rotting (ik quite a few do but this one is special shhhhh) which looks like the host is wasting away. The rotting is normally pure black. It is also only ever able to be in 1 host at a time. It also acts like a sort of hivemind, and has an almost human-like sentience. The queen of the hivemind is immortal. Whoops! It can do many things to the host. An example is being able to manipulate the host’s body, basically called possession. It can also sort of sometimes melt the rotted flesh into a black tar-like substance. On the rare occasion it can do that, theres a rarer chance that it’ll be able to melt the whole body into the substance. When it does this, it can sort of change its shape and form into what it wants. This involves being able to break the host’s bones just so it can do that. Of course, this is normally at the final stage of the parasite being there, and is normally deadly, but oh no! Smith is immortal.

He does still die, its just more where he can be unconscious for a bit, sometimes. Like I said, only sometimes. There is a chance he can just be walking around with a bullet hole in his head waiting for the wound the heal up or smt

Self inflicted injuries are more likely to scar up compared to when someone else injures him.

He did his own top surgery because of this. Owie.

He once had something not work in his body, causing him to do the thing where he dies temporarily, and so he decided to basically do an autopsy on himself so he could see what happened.

Every time he does something like this he will either be in extreme pain or he will put himself on so many pain medications that he’s surprised he’s able to move.

He can play the piano, and a little bit of the violin.

Like i’ve said before, he WILL insult you if you tell him to not wear his bowtie.

He likes the paisley pattern. His bowtie has a faint pattern of it

He started out as a “what I want to look like as an adult” oc on gacha, and them i decided i wanted to make him look more interesting, and it’s gone on from there.

He wears gloves not for anything like germs or smt, but just because he doesn’t really like his hands. This was originally because they were almost fully rotten but now i’ve just made them heavily scarred with a bit of rot.

Do NOT ask for photos of him when he was in his early to mid 30s. Bc that was when some of the real parts of his features were changing. His canines had fallen out and were slowly being replaced by the sharper versions, his scleras were yellowing, his pupils were also sharpening and becoming more white. He also didn’t really take any pictures of himself in that time.

He is missing an eye. This was more because it was becoming so rotten that it was unusable

He can loose blood faster than he can regenerate it.

He is afraid of being buried alive, fire, and heights.

If he thinks he has no other choice in attacking you, he will probably bite you. He doesn’t like this though because his teeth are sharp enough to draw blood and he doesn’t like the taste of blood+it’s unhygienic

Says he hates the cold, but his office is constantly freezing, even in winter.

He most likely has PTSD, possibly C-PTSD. He also has Bipolar II disorder, NPD, ASD, ADHD, and a couple other stuff. However, he refuses to get diagnosed for some reason.

There is probably more fun facts but ive forgotten right now. Oops.

I will probably edit this when I want to change his lore or add a new random fact about him or smt.

[cocobeanncteez]

Ateez Hongjoong: Tame (Final Part)

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, mafia au.

Pairing: Mafia!Hongjoong x OC (written in 2nd person)

Word Count: 17k in total, 2.2k in this part. (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

Warnings for all parts combined: Mafia themes such as torture, abuse, violence, human auctions, murder, drugs, guns. Mentions of rape, human trafficking, sex slavery, organ trafficking, unprotected sex, pulling out, facesitting.

“What are you guys up to?” you questioned, plopping down on the couch beside Wooyoung. Yunho, Jongho, and San were seated on the opposite couch.

“Just talking about one of our hostages who we will kill tonight,” Yunho replied while playing with a rubik's cube.

“What did they do?” you asked.

“He tried to sabotage our latest drug deal with a secret dealer from Russia. We didn’t know how he found out about it, but he spilled the beans on his gang,” San answered. “So we don’t need him anymore.”

“Well… rest in peace, I guess,” you remarked, making Wooyoung snort.

“Would’ve been better if we killed Yang Daeyoung instead.”

You turned to look at him. “Who exactly is he? I’ve heard his name a few times, but I’ve never gotten the opportunity to ask.”

Jongho gently cleared his throat. “He’s the man who raped and murdered Hongjoong’s sister. Him and three of his men. He wasn’t from a very powerful gang or anything, but he does his work extremely well. He wanted to take us down, and he used Hongjoong’s sister as bait to trap him. Hongjoong refused to give up on Ateez. By the time we managed to track Hongjoong, the damage was already done.” You felt your heart break; you couldn’t even imagine what your boyfriend had to go through.

“Where is Yang Daeyoung now?” you asked.

“Rotting in our torture chamber as we speak.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “What?! Why haven’t you killed him yet?”

“We are looking for his child,” Hongjoong replied, joining the conversation. “The man has over five trillion won kept in a secret bank account. He also has information, good and bad, on every mafia gang and the corrupted politicians and locals involved. That’s why all gangs are still on the lookout for him even though we captured him eight months ago. He has a secret place somewhere in the world and only his child can access his possessions as he used iris pattern recognition. He has covered up everything though. We can’t find shit on any of his family members.”

“No amount of threatening or torturing works on him. We even told him that we’ll find his child and torture them,” Jongho added. “But he won’t reveal anything to us.”

“Maybe I can try?” you suggested. You did learn how to torture someone for information, but it wasn’t something you really enjoyed.

“Your chances are extremely low,” Wooyoung remarked.

“I’m aware of that. But even a little information could be helpful, right?”

“Go ahead then, sweetheart,” Hongjoong said with a smirk. “I’d love to see my girl torture that filthy bastard.”

You pecked his lips. “Then let’s go now, shall we?”

You made your way to the torture room, Hongjoong, Jongho, and Wooyoung following you. Seonghwa joined you after finishing his work in the interrogation room, satisfied with how much information he was able to obtain. Jongho entered a passcode for one of the rooms, letting everyone inside.

The room was pretty dark and looked like a jail cell. You saw a plate of untouched food on the floor. There was a chair in the middle of the room and a cot at the end of the room where Yang Daeyoung was sleeping, his back facing you all, long chains attached from his hands to a pipe.

Wooyoung moved to the sleeping form, giving the man a kick on his back to wake him up. “Get up, fucker.”

Yang Daeyoung groaned in pain before sitting up, looking at the faces of everyone in the room. As soon as you made eye contact with the man, your heart dropped to your stomach.

His eyes widened. “Kiah?! What are you doing here?!”

The boys immediately turned to look at you. You weren’t able to utter a word due to how shocked you were at seeing your own father there. His hair was quite long and he had a long beard and moustache. There were a few scars on his face and arms.

“How do you know her?” Hongjoong interrogated.

“Run from here, Kiah! They’re gonna kill you,” your father yelled at you.

“Do you know him?” Seonghwa asked you, but you weren’t able to answer. You felt sick. You felt terribly sick that it was your father who raped and murdered your lover's sister.

Tears rolled down your eyes when you glanced at your boyfriend. How could you ever face him now?

“Kiah!” your father yelled, tugging hard on the chains, grabbing your attention. “Get out of here! They’re gonna torture you in front my eyes! They said they will find you and torture you!”

Hongjoong looked at you with an emotionless expression, finally understanding the situation. “You’re his daughter?” You couldn’t respond.

“Are you this bastard's daughter?!” he yelled at you. Before you could answer him, he rushed out of the room. You couldn’t help but cry, burying your face in your hands, feeling your heart ache.

Your father glared at you angrily. “Why are you involved with Ateez?! What is wrong with—"

“Shut up!” you shouted, cutting him off. “You’re fucking pathetic! How could you r-rape someone when you have a daughter?! How could you lie to me all these years that you’re a cop, when you’re nothing but a heartless monster!” you sobbed loudly, collapsing onto the floor. You felt someone kneel beside you, wrapping their arms around you.

“Get away from her, Park Seonghwa!” your father spat.

Seonghwa turned to glare at him. “Shut it,” he said, before helping you stand up, taking you to your room.

You blankly stared at the window of your room from your bed, watching the horizon darker as night was approaching. It has been four days since you last saw Hongjoong. You felt nothing but emptiness and agony. You didn’t know if he was at the mansion or if he went somewhere as you haven’t left your room at all ever since Seonghwa brought you to it. The girls tried to make you eat, but you barely had the appetite to.

You sighed, forcing yourself to get out of bed to take a shower even though you were going to crawl right back into it.

Stripping out of your clothes and entering the shower, you pushed the tap, letting the warm water soak you. Closing your eyes, you could feel a dull ache in your chest when you began to think of Hongjoong. A sob got stuck in your throat, but escaped a few seconds later. You couldn’t hold it back anymore. You sat down, hugging your propped up knees. Your sobs got louder, and your throat was aching, tears mixing with the water running down your face.

After spending a few minutes crying until you couldn’t anymore, you finally washed your body and your hair.

Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped a towel around your body and another one for your hair. You exited the bathroom after putting some clothes on, having no strength to dry your hair with a blow-dryer. You stopped in your tracks when you noticed a figure seated on your bed.

“I'm sorry…” Hongjoong apologized, getting off your bed and moving towards you. He stood in front of you with a pained expression on his beautiful face. You wondered how long he was waiting for you and you really hoped he didn’t hear you cry. Even if he didn’t, he could still tell you were crying as your red, puffy eyes gave it away.

“F-For what?” you stuttered, voice shaky.

Hongjoong sighed, looking down at his feet.  “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I shouldn’t have left you alone when you were going through much worse. It was a shock for you too…”

Your eyes filled with tears. “I understand why you did it. It’s okay…”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not okay, baby. I’m ashamed of how I acted. You didn’t deserve that.”

You blinked, causing the tears brimming at your eyes to slide down your cheeks. Hongjoong reached up to cup your cheeks, gently wiping your tears away with his thumbs. He placed a gentle, lingering kiss on your forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

You closed your eyes, shaking your head in his hold. You pulled away from him, taking a deep breath. “Hongjoong, I-I think it’s best if we end things.” His eyes widened, heart aching due to your words. He opened his mouth to say something, but you spoke before he could. “I’m the daughter of the man who raped and murdered your sister, Hongjoong. I-I can’t…” you paused, sobs taking over. “I can’t live with that fact. I can’t look at you without thinking about it.”

“I don’t care, Kiah,” he reached out to hold your hands, his own eyes filling with tears. “I love you. Do you understand? I fucking love you. Yes, I was furious when I found out that you were the daughter of that bastard, but you shouldn’t have to suffer because of him. You didn’t even know what he does for a living. It’s not your problem.”

You sniffled. “You don’t h-hate me?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Baby…” he sighed, pulling you into a hug, his own tears rolling down his beautiful face. “I could never hate you. Never. You’re the love of my life. Fuck, I can’t even live without you. These past four days… I felt like I was gonna go insane if I didn’t see you, but I had to give you some space.” You didn’t know what to say.

“There's no me without you,” he continued, gently pushing you away so that he could see your face. “So please… never try to break up with me again. I’d rather die than live without you,” he cried. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest while you both cried together. Hongjoong placed soft kisses onto your head, trying to calm himself and you down.

When your sobs stopped, he gently pushed you away so that he could look at your face. He cupped your cheek, titling your head back before he leaned in, capturing your lips with his own in a soft kiss.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against you. “I love you,” he murmured.

You smile slightly. “I love you more.”

Epilogue

 “Oh my god! We’re finally here!” Jiwoo squealed, running on the cooling sand. Ateez managed to find out the location of your father's secret hideout in Fiji with the help of Yeosang who used your iris pattern to track the computer. Ateez managed to receive all your father’s possessions and now you all had flown across Fiji for a mini vacation.

“Jiwoo's dream destination is Fiji and now we’re here,” San said, watching his girlfriend with love and adoration. You chuckled, watching San run after Jiwoo to join her little hyper session.

“We’re gonna go rest for a while,” Seonghwa stated, holding Aeji's hand.

Wooyoung smirked. “I know what that means,” he said, earning a smack on his head from the older man before the couple went to their beach house in the chain of houses.

Hongjoong took your hand in his, intertwining it. “We’re gonna rest too. See you all for dinner,” he said, dragging you along to your little beach house.

The two of you walked in comfortable silence, sandals leaving prints on the sand, observing the various hues of orange, red, blue, and purple in the beautiful sky as the sun was setting. Hongjoong let go of your hand when you reached your beach house, pausing in his tracks. You gave him a questioning look, wondering why he wasn’t going inside.

He cleared his throat, moving his hands to wrap around your waist. “You’re the only one who could tame my temper, as the boys always say," he started, making you giggle. “The only one who could make my heart beat so fast. I’ve never wanted anything more in life than to be with you. You aren’t just my girlfriend, you’re my best friend and the love of my life. But now I’d like to change that,” he reached into his pocket, taking out a small velvet box.

Hongjoong got down on one knee, and you gasped, realizing what was about to happen. “I’d like to be upgraded from your boyfriend to your fiancé.” You chuckle at that and he opened the box, revealing a beautiful oval-shaped diamond ring.

“Moon Kiah, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

“Yes!” you squealed, face beaming with happiness. Hongjoong took your hand in his, sliding the ring onto your finger. He got up and you pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. When you pulled away, he grinned before placing a soft kiss on your lips. “I love you. Thank you for bringing light to my life.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I love you too, Joong. So much.” Hongjoong chuckled, pulling you into a sweet kiss.

You couldn’t wait for this new chapter in your life, spending it with Hongjoong by your side for the rest of eternity.

[spiderwcd]

get well soon | stiles stilinksi

pairing: stiles stilinksi x reader

summary: y/n has been married to stiles for a year now. but has bills and loans to pay off. when she gets sick, it’s up to stiles to take care of her.

warnings: slight cursing and hella fluff :)

a/n: short one for ya

gif not mine !

you coughed hysterically yet again that tuesday. you felt your lungs would collapse any second. you were at your waitering job for almost 7 hours and it was killing you. you mentally cursed at yourself yet another time.

your coworkers kept begging you to go home, they had plenty of staff and you could’ve went back to your husband back home.

you and stiles had gotten married almost a year ago. you were together since juniors in high school and after 3 years of dating, he popped the question. of course you agreed and managed to save up to your dream wedding.

now you were in your 2nd year of medical school studying becoming a psychiatrist. but of course, paying for it is not so cheap. of course you got a scholarship for it but it only covered a small portion of it. stiles is working part time with his father at the station for now. he’d be upgrading soon to the fbi once you finished school.

you knew the risks of staying here would be, but you really could use the money. missing a day of work would be like missing 15% of rent to you.

you sniffled yet again before grabbing the try of food and setting it down on the table of customers. while at work you of course had your fair share of ass holes. but you put up with it for you and stiles. stiles doesn’t really know about these assholes. there’d be regulars you dread to see every shift but you put it up with it to make a living.

you felt light headed after putting the tray back to the table waiting for more orders. you coworker, becky had enough of you torturing yourself.

“that’s it i’m calling stiles.” she said as she pulled out her phone as you sat in the back with your body aching. you were too weak to even bother arguing with her.

within the 5 minutes, stiles was somehow already at the diner waiting for you. you hung your apron and kept apologizing to your coworkers for becoming sick like it was somehow your fault.

you came up to stiles with a weak smile.

“jesus, y/n you’re so pale,” stiles whispered towards you as he helped you up into the jeep he refused to give up. “you’re freezing.”

you grumbled as you road back home barely keeping yourself awake. stiles tried helping you out but you pushed him away slightly.

“no it’s fine stiles,” you grumbled. you managed to get out of the blue keep and onto the concrete beneath you. “i don’t want you worrying about me.”

“i’m always going to worry about you babe.” he sighed as he was impatient watching you walk slowly towards the apartments so he swooped you up into his arms and too weak to argue, you gave in.

your nose, even all congested and stuffed, smelled his cologne and felt safe in his arms. you hummed in satisfaction and smiled as your freezing body warmed up next to his warm one.

before you knew it, you both were at the door of your apartment you rented together. you unlocked the door and stiles placed you on your familiar shared bed. she grabbed some of your favorite blankets and ordered you to cover up and warm up.

you coughed yet another painful cough as you rolled slightly to your side in pain. stiles felt bad he couldn’t cure your sickness in that moment.

“you should get to work,” you said with a now raspier voice. “i don’t want you getting in trouble because of me.” you faced him.

“i took the day off,” he explained. “my dad said he got me covered, sends his regards by the way.” he walked out of the bedroom before you could argue with him.

stiles went to the cupboard and searched for some cough medicine. sadly, looks like you were out since stiles became sick last november.

he sighed as he grabbed his keys. he announced he’d be back and he ran to the store. he searched around the store for the right medication and becoming unsure he grabbed the one he thought would work. he came back home after paying for it and walked to the bedroom as you were curled up in the blankets stiles demanded you to hide into at home.

“here,” he handed it to you. “take some medicine.” he smiled softly.

“stiles, this is for children.” you giggled.

stiles furrowed his brows before grabbing the box and actually reading it. it was indeed for children. he mentally facepalmed himself in realization.

“uhm...” stiles thought aloud. “how about i make some soup instead.” he said as he put the box on the nightstand before dashing back into the kitchen.

he managed to find a recipe y/n kept in the book. he carefully followed the directions and managed not to burn the apartment down. he was quite proud of the soup and carefully he tried transporting it to the bedroom.

“babe,” he began as he tiptoed carefully with the hot contents at the beginning of the entrance to the bedroom. “i made you some of your soup. i tried following to the best of me abilities. so if it’s funky it’s all my fault.” he joked.

before he could get it near you, he accidentally poured some of the soup into his hand causing him to retract his hands and hiss in pain. the bowl dropped down in the bedroom causing the soup to go everywhere.

you giggled slightly. “its okay stiles. it’s not your fault,” you began to get out of the bed. “let me clean this up.”

stiles stopped you with a serious look. “don’t you dare get out of that bed missy.” he pointed his finger at you like a scorn child.

you pouted slightly in defeat before getting back into the bed. you watched angrily as stiles cleaned up the mess on the carpeted floors.

“babe, i appreciate your hard work,” you began. “but all i really want is to cuddle with you. you don’t have to go through any extra work.” you finally let out.

stiles smiled softly as he placed the rag on the nightstand next to the children’s medicine. “that’s fine by me.”

you smiled back as he got into bed with you and you both turned on some movies as you whispered your ‘love you’s’ to each other ever so often.

this is the only remedy you really needed.

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

navigation | requests : open | 2nd march 2021

pairing : bakugou x fem!reader

genre : fluff, heavy angst

warnings : mutual pining, soulmate AU, !quirk world, heartbreak?, eating, vomit

themes : falling in love, unfair world, ‘it had to be us’, slow burns

desc : in a world where when you see your soulmate in their most vulnerable state your eyes change to the colour of the one you’re meant to be with, but sometimes soulmates aren’t allowed to be together, the way the universe was made is cruel it hurt.

a/n : i’m about to cause so much pain so i’m sorry in advance 🕴

listen to :

this world was cruel, that much was clear.

one couple in a thousand are fated to be apart, the thought didn’t scare you much since people in love always find a way, right?

when you touch your soulmates hands for the first time you feel a little spark, like electricity but for 1 couple out of 1000 they’d get thrown apart, quite literally thrown apart. they’d repel like the opposite ends of a magnet.

reading people’s experience on the matter broke your heart, people fated to be together only for their wishes to become nothing but that, wishes.

the same happened to your aunt and uncle, they’re together but apart, not allowed to touch eachother without being repelled apart. you watched it firsthand and it hurt seeing them live so happily apart in this unfair world.

your other uncle was no other then pro-hero all might, he raised you from the age of 3, your parents died when you were young, in a villain attack. they died fighting and their last wish was for you, their daughter to grow up a happy child in the care of your fathers brother, all might.

your uncle is an amazing guardian, he was nervous but he taught you everything he knows, your wish is to be a pro-hero exactly like him, exactly like your parents and that’s what he wanted for you as well even if there were dangers who was he to say no to your dream?

he trained you carefully, your quirk was powerful and sometimes hard to manage when not in control of your emotions, your quirk is telekinesis, you can lift yourself into the air with enough power and your hands stabilise the quirk, your nose bleeds when you start overusing it and you get lightheaded but with the help of all might you slowly got better at handling the power.

-> FIRST DAY OF UA

‘y/n you’re up next’ you walked up to where your class teacher aizawa was standing, steadying your feet a little you flicked the ball into the air only above your hand and then using your mind and hand you shot it up into the sky, everyone watched in amazement as you got the best score by barely trying. your eyes locked with a blondes, his eyes stood out, they glistened gold and crimson in the sun dancing in the light hitting his face but you looked away feeling your face heat up at his looks. ‘hey y/n right? you did amazing out there my names mina ashido!’ you smiled at her friendliness, ‘hi, you did pretty great too’.

-> HIM

as the months went on you caught yourself staring more and more at a certain blonde, sometimes you caught him staring back. it was no secret that you’re attractive anyone with eyes could see that, someone had recorded you trying to regain your breath during the sports festival and it went viral. when you caught him staring at you from across the table, you simply smirked at him before going back to talking to denki and mina.

at first you thought your attraction to him was only because of his looks, until you started getting to know the boy underneath. he’s caring, he’s thoughtful, he would never say it but he is. you noticed when he would do things for others, when you all moved into the dorms after the USJ attack you started to notice his small gestures to show he cares, they may not be big but you noticed.

in his eyes you are incredible, he often thought about your strength, physically and mentally. everyone thinks that you’re lucky because you got to learn from all might but they never thought about the circumstances in which you got there, your parents died but you still fought on. at first you were closed off, until you became friends with mina who introduced you to the bakusquad, you all clicked immediately. your sarcastic humour paired with their loud and bakugous equally sarcastic humour fit like a puzzle.

-> love birds

‘hey idiot, come here’, it was 8pm and the dekusquad had sneaked out to watch the sunset along the beach. you hopped down from the railing and traced it with the tip of your fingers before reaching him, ‘what is it blasty’, you looked at him, the crimson sky faded along with pink, the sun only illuminating the colour onto his face making him look beautiful he looks pretty , she looks pretty. if only you could hear eachothers thoughts.

‘look at them’ you looked down from the perch to see denki kicking water at kirishima and sero as mina threw wet sand balls at them both, you giggled at the sight, even her laugh is pretty he thought.

‘hey love birds!! get down here!’ the pink haired girl yelled.

‘SHUT UP PINKIE’ neither of you denied it, maybe because that’s what you wanted.

you all sneaked back into the dorms when it got dark, you clicked your phone ‘12am’ you whispered to your friends, thankfully no one snitched on you. the wooden floors creaked a little as you made your way to your room, you grabbed your towel and slipped off your clothes before slipping into the shower, once you got out you threw on a large hoodie which almost went down to your knees. ‘y/nn bakugou is being annoying can you help’ denki pouted making grabby hands at you. after agreeing you skipped downstairs to see the boy nagging over the dishes, smiling a little you walked over to him.

you started cleaning up the dishes he was nagging about as he made you all food since you were all hungry from the beach. ‘thanks’ you grinned hearing those words leave his mouth, even if they were quiet ‘what was that blasty?’ he glared at you ‘i will deck you’ you stifled a laugh at his words as your eyes connecting with his crimson ones for a second, both of your eyes widened looking into the others before you quickly went back to the task at hand.

he just has pretty eyes.. that’s it fuck, no i don’t like her, fuck.

———

falling in love with katsuki bakugou was not in your plans, but the way the blonde haired boy fussed about cleaning and things that you’d think he’d give no care to struck you. the way he’d pick a stray fluff or hair off kirishimas clothes but not tell him, the way he’d use his anger to mask him affection. it all endeared you, but why?

maybe it was the night you went to the beach, when he looked down at your friends messing around like it’d be the last time he’s seeing them, or the way he looked at you when you sneezed with a grin on his face,

‘why are you smiling at that’

‘you sounded like a fuckin cat’,

was it because of his eyes, his stupid pretty crimson eyes telling you to come closer, telling you to kiss him. — or the night he looked after you when you got drunk in the dorms, you had drunk a little too much and felt yourself feeling sick, before you knew it you’d ran upstairs to your bathroom and started vomiting into the toilet, he followed you and lifted your hair out of your face, ‘idiot take these’ he handed you some medicine for the pain in your head. — and he stayed with you that night so you wouldn’t be sick by yourself.

it’s been almost two years since you caught feelings for him. two years since you fell dangerously in love with the angry blonde boy.

———

today you were attacked by the league of villains while training and everything was okay, you were fighting alongside him, while you were fighting back to back you hadn’t noticed the villain to the side of you, he was aiming for bakugou, you did what you could in the moment and took the hit for him. you didn’t know what the persons quirk did but it didn’t seem to affect to you at all. ‘IDIOT GRAB MY HAND’ you quickly shook your head to get rid of the dizzy feeling taking place and grabbed his hand.

as soon as you defeated everyone you gathered near the front of the facility and that’s when you felt it. feelings from your past, the pain of having zero to very little memories of your parents, the pain of everyone but you knowing them, most of all the anger. you screamed crouching to the ground throwing your hands over your ears trying to get rid of the emotions they were overwhelming and painful. bakugou told aizawa that you got hit with a quirk but it didn’t do anything, he ran over as soon as he heard you scream.

‘y/n!, can you hear me.. fuck what’s happening’ you squeezed your eyes shut yelling out again as the stabbing feeling covered your body like needles, aizawa tried erasing the quirk but it was no use.

you gasped for air as the pain finally stopped and opened your eyes, ‘FUCK YOU SCARED ME SO FUCKING MUCH’ you smiled weakly as you realised he’s cradling you, — your eyes change colour when you see your soulmate in their most vulnerable state — ‘wait what is-’ you looked up at his words to see his crimson eyes replaced by your [c] ones, your own eyes now crimson, in only 5 seconds his eyes turned back to crimson as yours turned back to [c].

‘bakugou’ you were afraid to look at his expression, he tilted your head up and he smiled at you ‘i’m glad it’s you, i’m so fuckin glad it’s you’ you beamed at him as tears welled up in the base of your eyes.

that night you were planning on going on a date together, just you and him. mina and denki were sat on your bed crying and screaming about what happened, ‘ugh the way you looked at eachother makes me want a relationship!!’ she sobbed as her lips formed a pout, you laughed at her antics as denki did your eyeliner for you. ‘is this okay?’ you went for very ‘you’ clothes and you were pretty satisifed with your outfit, smiling you turned to them. ‘now this isn’t fair how do you look good in everything’ you scoffed before booping the pink girl.

you had butterflies in your stomach before even meeting him, the way he made you feel nervous but ecstatic. ‘hey’ you turned at the voice, smiling when you noticed you accidentally matched, you wore a black jumper with a skull on it as he wore his black skull t-shirt. you both noticed this and smiled.

‘gonna keep staring at me dumbass, come on?’

you walked after him smiling at his eagerness, ‘where are we going blasty’ he quickly looked up at the stars before saying ‘to see some memories’. after 10 minutes of walking you noticed the beach, it was the same one you came to with your friends, the one where you watched the sunset together, when you were oblivious to the others feelings. you talked and laughed about how oblivious you both were,

‘i kinda knew it was you, i think, i don’t know it’s fuckin weird.. i saw you and i just, knew?’

your heart did backflips at his words, ‘when i first saw you, at the first day of UA, you caught my eye maybe it was the pretty red eyes or the angry face-’

‘I DONT HAVE AN ANGRY FACE’ even his anger made you fall for him.

you’re down bad, you both are.

after your walk along the beach you talked more and walked until you realise it had been hours and you should be getting back to the dorms, somehow this entire time you hadn’t touched hands, it’s not that you didn’t want to you were just so immersed in talking to him it felt like you could talk to him forever.

as you got back to the dorms you stood outside the door and edged closer to him, his eyes sparkled just like they did that day, he entwined his hands with yours.

but instead of feeling the spark you felt a jolt, like a pain and you both pushed apart like magnets.

‘wait.. What, no this isn’t happening i held you this morning, what fucking changed’ he looked at you hurt and in shock, you couldnt breath, it was happening, the one you love but never be able to touch.

‘y/n, don’t fucking cry i’m here, i’m still here’.

‘but you’re not, it’s like we have an invisible box around each other you’ll never be able to hold me, or kiss me’ it was like you couldn’t feel anything but you felt everything at the same time.

‘there’s gotta be a reason, i held you fucking hours ago y/n, maybe it’s that fuckers quirk’

‘bakugou this is what happened to my aunt and uncle, they were fine for the first couple hours until i-it happened’

‘you deserve someone you can hold’

‘but i want you, you’re my fucking soulmate don’t be stupid’

‘you cant even fucking touch me bakugou’

‘call me blasty again.’

‘what?’

‘please’

his eyes were filling with tears, threatening to spill.

‘bakugou, i’m sorry, i love you’

‘then we’ll make this work’

‘we can’t blasty, you know we can’t’

A/N :

🕴i am very sorry for the pain i have caused i made myself cry

taglist :

@todoroki-shoto-is-life @blazedbakugou @luluwiie @blue-gold-demigod-clouds @gazelle-des-pres

[astormyjet]

Winter of 2018 - Summer of 2021 TIME FILES WHEN YOU’RE IN YOUR 20s!!!!

OH BOY. It’s been three years (or more) since I updated this. “Time is a weird soup!” to quote a fave. I guess I quit tumblr around the time there was a purge of content and creators and a smack down on a lot of the fandom communities. Tumblr has always been something of a crapshow though so I’ve been more productive with my time than I was in some ways, but I’ve also found other ways to waste my time. *cough twitter/netflix/youtube/MTGArena cough*.

General Life Achievements since 2018 -JLPT N3 GET in 2019! -Blackbelt GET in 2018! -TESOL 120 Hour and BE 50 Hour Cert from online provider GET in 2021 -STUDENT LOAN BANISHED (Thank you grandparents) -Survived Apartment flooding in early 2020. -Mystery anxiety related illness and chronic pain in my left leg from early 2020 - Present. -A mythical 6th and 7th year on the JET Programme. -Started posting on Instagram a lot more about my wanderings around Matsuyama/Uwajima. Mainly old buildings and stray cats. @astormyknight -Surviving so far in Japan with old rona-chan.

2018 was rough. I was given an additional school in the first semester (March to July) as we had someone find a better job. I enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a rough go especially when I was transferred that August after three fantastic years at Tsubaki JHS and ES and only a semester there. I legit went through the five stages of grief - which I think is another reason I stopped blogging. I was given my current base school along with four other schools. Going from 2(3) to 5 schools was a bit of an adjustment. I still feel a bit spread out.

That said, I keep running into teachers and students who were at the Tsubaki’s. The teachers shuffle around every April, so it's always a lottery with which new faces are going to be old friends (or enemies…). A couple of kids moved and transferred into my current schools from Tsubaki too. So I have one kid I can say I've been teaching for 6 out of the 7 years I've been here!

One of the kids who was in JHS 3rd grade when I first got here (in 2015!) hangs out around one of my favorite cafes, so I got chatting with him recently. He's in his second year of nursing school - his class nearly broke me in the first year, it was really a trial by fire with those kids. I was 22 then, and he’s 20 now, so it was interesting chatting to him about that first year of teaching. His younger sister was one of my favorite students too, she was in the group of kids that graduated in the March of 2018, the year group that went through Tsubaki JHS with me - they’re newly minted University students now!

This Thursday morning when I was cycling in to work, a kid who was 2nd year JHS when I left  (so 2nd or 3rd year JHS now) pulled up with their Mum in a van and got their mamachari out of the back to bike to school. The franticness of it all was hilarious. Their Mum legit sat on the horn until I pulled over. I was so happy to run into this kid, even at social distance and both of us late to work/school - because we both remembered each other and as they were going around the corners they were yelling each time they turned and humming the old elementary school directions chant and pelting me with questions about what I’ve been up to.

I've had so many students and schools now, that everything is kind of running into a blur. I remember flashes of kids faces and voices, random memories of in class or out of class shenanigans out of the blue. Also, I now, more than ever, have issues remembering kids' names, but I still know their faces (even with their masks), whose homeroom class they were in, who their friends were and which club they were in. I get random flashbacks to past conversations with them when I see them on the street or we run into each other. I feel bad because the first thing former students ask is ‘Do you remember my name?’ and I always have to be like, ‘Honestly, no, but I remember you did this on x day, x month in x classroom’.

Socially in 2018 -2019 - a few of our friends went home and things shook up a little. Our DnD group changed a bit - one of our players stepped into the role forever DM (THANK YOU RALPH). From memory the newbies were great - some of them just went home at the start of last month and it’s weird not seeing them around (JESS DO YOUR BEST!). I think we only have one or two people left from that rotation. There’s no 6th year ALTs, and only two 5th years.

Aug 2018 - Aug 2019 was the year of Hiura - my mountain school. Dang man, they were so cool. The students of the JHS and the ES combined barely hit 30, so each class was between 3-10 students depending on the grade. It was easier to get to know the kids, their abilities and their goals than it has been for me at other schools. I miss it so bad, being in nature once a week did my country-kid heart so good! The bugs! The frogs! The river! The mountain! The monkeys! The lizards! The dilapidated houses and hidden shrines!!!! The random crabs in the English room...I forgot that there was such a thing as freshwater crabs, and being right next to a river, the invasion wasn’t as out of place as I first thought...  

The area is so picturesque and calming. Every week up there was a small adventure (after getting over my motion sickness from the bus ride up). The kids were constantly pranking either myself or the main English teacher. There was always some new weird bug or lizard in a tank to be educated about. There were chickens on the way to the JHS that used to escape from their cardboard box prisons to run riot on the gardens. There were old people to freak out with my youth and foreignness! The kids also got to do a lot of extra classes, sumiyakai (making charcoal the traditional way), planting and maintaining rice paddies, setting up vegetable gardens, raising fireflies, conserving a special breed of fire lily (only found in this particular mountain valley) and another rare flower, wilderness training ect.

I wish I could have stayed there a lot longer but SOMEONE (read...the BoE) decided that schools had to be shuffled again(thank goodness the dude who has it now was able to keep it from the 2021 shuffle, he's the best fit for the school). I had so many good memories from there, I wish I had been more consistent in writing it down. I do have a bunch of photos and videos from there though, so that's nice. The only thing I don’t miss is the bus trip up and down - not only was it motion sickness, there was a healthy dose of fear each ride as the driver brought us perilously close to the edge of the mountain drop…

2019 - 2020 was interesting. With the school I got given instead of the Hirua’s I was roped into more demonstration lessons which was a lot of pressure because I was also involved quite heavily with the JHS observation and training lessons too. They were somewhat rewarding, the third graders are now super smart 5th graders, but the teachers  who need to embrace the new curriculum and ways of teaching really haven’t taken on anything from the lessons....

Outside of work as well, I was given the chance, thanks to an ALT buddy of mine, to join in with the local festival. It's been one of the biggest highlights of my time here, and I am gutted it’s been cancelled for the last two years, but I understand the reason…. I was able to travel to Okinawa too during that summer for an international Karate seminar with the Dojo I train with. I met the head of the style I currently practice and a bunch of people from around the world. I also got to see Shuri castle before it burned down. So that was a stroke of luck. One of the places I want to go when/if we get out of this pandemic is Okinawa. I want to see more of those Islands so bad. Just before the whole pandemic thing too - I managed to see the Rugby World Cup, a Canada vs NZ match, I even ran into Tana Umanga in Oita city!!!

2019 - 2020 was supposed to be my last year on JET, so I was frantically Job hunting. I went to the Career Fair in Osaka in early Feb/Late January 2020. I applied and got interviewed for a position in Sendai in early Jan 2020. In the end though - the Rona hit. We started hearing whispers of it around the end of 2019, then the cruise boats happened, and then Japan refused to cancel the Olympics...every holiday season there is a new wave of infections, my nurse friends in Tokyo are struggling....my teacher friends in more populous areas of Japan are struggling…

JET couldn't get new ALTs for 2020-2021, I took the extra year when it was eventually offered, as the one job I had managed to get a serious offer for was hesitating because with the rona setting in, things were uncertain. There was a lot of time spent adjusting to the new rules surrounding what we could do in class with the kids as well as textbook change. Schools shut on and off during the spring months. 

I also got a reminder of my mortality mid May with an unrelated illness which is still smacking me around a bit - stress/age, it does things to the human body it has no right to. It's only been in the last three months I’ve been able to exercise like I used to, I’ve put on a bunch of weight I can't shrug off (one part medication, another part diet) My relationship with food needs to change, and I really need a kitchen that allows me for more than one pan meals. I also need to figure out what to do with a left leg that is in constant pain from the knee down and a heart that misses beats when stressed out (mentally and physically…). 

My apartment also got flooded by the guy upstairs at one point, I spent most of late February/early March living in a hotel while my walls and floor got redone - I think this was one of the things that really stressed me out and kicked my anxiety right up a notch, it was right when things were getting REALLY bad with rona-chan in Hokkaido and schools were shutting down here as it was filtering into the prefecture and so Japan closed schools for the first time…

Classes in covid times have been weird. We’ve been wearing facemasks full time since the early stages of the pandemic (March 2020) - so I admit that I get a bit pissed off seeing both Americans and New Zealanders back home bitching about just having to start wearing them full time in public. I have asthma and have been suffering with the things on during the 30*C plus with high 90s humidity summers. Teachers were offered vaccines late July 2021, just days before the Olympics were open - and I finished my two shots in the middle of August. But the overall distribution and take up of the jab has been slow.  As mentioned above, we can't play a lot of the games we used to play with kids in classes anymore, and a lot of the activities outlined in the textbook curriculum need to be adjusted too, so we’ve had to be creative. We use hand sanitizer a lot more too. One of the things I miss the most though, is eating lunch with the kids.

Socially from summer 2020 - now 2021 we played a lot of DnD and board games, both online and in person when we could. There were no new ALTs again for the 2021-2022 JET year, and those of us who were in 6th year were offered a 7th. Four out of six of us took it. As a whole we’re down from a peak of 38 ALTs for Junior High and Elementary school to 22 for now. We hopefully will get a new person at the end of September, and 4 more in November. Which will bring us to 27. This has led to ANOTHER round of school shuffles.

Summer vacation has been weird the last two years. With rona-chan, we haven’t really been able to travel. All the summer festivals (all the Autumn and Winter ones too!) have been cancelled, so the changing of seasons just feels, wrong. I dunno. There is so much we all miss from pre-rona-chan, and so much that doesn’t happen that makes this just feel like one long long unending year of sadness, coldness, raininess, unbearable heat and repeat. I’m tired. Time is going so fast, but so.dang.slow.

I lost my favorite school (AGAIN GDI!!!) and gained the school I taught a semester at in 2019....I had my first day there on Wednesday. Schools actually started back on September 1st so there was some drama as the BoE didn’t communicate fast enough about our school changes. We legit got told on the 27th of August (on a Friday) our schools were changing effective September 1st, but somehow some of our schools found out on the Monday 30th August. In July we were told we would be changing schools at the end of September, so.a lot of ALTs and schools were left short changed, not having opportunities to say goodbye to co-workers or students/having their planning for the semester more or less thrown out the window too. I love my job. I really dislike the way the BoE treats us, the Japanese assistant language teachers and our schools.

The new school I have is used to having an ALT there twice a week, who plans all the lessons and executes them. I’m at three elementary schools. I'm only at each once a week, I want to plan, but being that I miss an entire lesson in between visits, it's going to be difficult to do so. Not impossible, but being that I'm already doing it for two other schools, who are at two different places in the textbook ah…….. From what I have talked to my new supervisor about though, it sounds like the teachers have taken on more of the lesson planning and I'll be able to contribute ideas when I'm there. I just want to and wish I could do more without being confused all the time. (This is all usually done in my second language too, not in English so extra levels of confusion and miscommunication abound).

 I feel like this at my JHS too a lot of the time. I want to contribute more, but even with constant communication with my main in school supervisor (who is a badass and pretty much on the same page about everything with me) I still feel about as useful as tits on a bull. Especially now that classes have been cancelled and or shortened, there's less time to do stuff. Any game or activity I plan is usually cut in favor of making up time in the textbook. When I'm in class, I'm back to being a tape recorder, the fun police and general nuisance.　

Also in the last week...my two of my schools were  shut due to students testing positive for the rona. This is the second time my schools have had a scare in the last 8 months. And by shut, I mean the students were all at home, but the teachers  all had to come into the office. Because why not I guess….. I mean,  the cases increasing is really not unexpected with the amount of people who were travelling over obon and the increase of cases due to the Olympics/Japan being slow on vaccinating/delta being the dominant strain/Japan's leaders doing relatively little except asking shops and restaurants to limit people coming in at one time and closing before 8pm. I know my schools weren't the only one shut either - but still High Schools were having their sports days this week. I kept on seeing groups of kids hanging in the park after, so that was a little bit nerve wracking.

It's just frustrating - we’ve been on half days to “minimize the risk of infection” for kids and teachers, as if only being at school from 8am through to 1pm is going to reduce the risk.  My schools have only just started testing out Microsoft teams and Zoom lesson equipment. Thankfully our school’s run in this time was contained real quick, the family was super good about informing us when they got their results back, and the fact they needed to be tested. The homeroom teacher and the students from the same class were the only ones tested, and they all came back clear, which was nice. But the information came back so SLOW. 

I’m a little irritated because I found out on Wednesday night what was going on, and even if I am vaccinated, I am super worried that I will end up being the covid monkey due to being at different schools three days out of five. I think other than being worried that I will catch it myself and get real sick, my biggest fear is that I will be protected from bad symptoms from the vaccine, but still be able to pass it onto some of my more vulnerable friends and students. The whole thing is a mess.  

Other than Covid and BoE drama, life is good. I’ve had a couple of other big changes - both fantastic and not so great, but yeah.  I have my health (and health insurance!) for now. I have a job, for now. I have a sense of existential dread for the next 12 months, but we’ll see where we end up. Life post JET is going to be way less cushy and I am TERRIFIED. I mean, I have a BA in Eng/Ling and no idea what to do with it…..because I am NOT suited for academia.

TLDR: Love my job. Don’t like the system. What is life? Future scary. 

[whosnickydude]

A soft dusk

okay so a while ago a posted this Kandreil drabble on ao3 but never really kept writing a 2nd part? but now that’s summer i have more time on my hands and i started writing again, so i guess i’m posting the 1st part here as well?? idk enjoy

CW: panic attack, Kevin has some really sad and harmful thoughts. please take care of yourselves lovies!

Kevin was spiraling. He felt as if his chest was about to explode from the pressure of not getting air through, and he couldn’t get a hold of his feelings.

Six months had passed since Riko’s death. Since the press lurking around every corner, demanding answers, fighting for a statement. None of them were sensible about it. Kevin practically couldn’t go anywhere alone the first month, or he would probably end up being stalked. One time it actually got close to physical assault.

All the while, he was mourning Riko. And he was the only one, it seemed. He felt immensely guilty, for an overbearing amount of reasons. He felt guilty for letting his brother become the sadistic monster he turned into. He felt guilty for not being able to change him. He felt guilty for leaving him. But most of all, he felt guilty for mourning him. It wasn’t fair, not with all that he did to Kevin. The sleepless nights, the feeling of always being a prey, always the second, always with a leash around his neck. He broke his hand because he was having a fucking tantrum, for God’s sake. It was not fair that Kevin still had to feel like shit because of him dying.

He started drinking, after that. More than he did before. It was the only way he knew to numb the pain. The other foxes let him. None of them understood why he felt so sad about his abuser’s death, so none of them knew how to —or wanted to— comfort him. They would throw him a pitying glance and try to do so, but after some times he shoved them off, they started to leave him to himself. So they let him drink. It wasn’t as if they ignored him completely. When everyone went to Eden’s Matt, or Dan, or Allison asked him to go dancing with them. Sometimes he got so drunk that he actually did. Most of the time, though, he stayed on the table while everyone gradually went to the dance floor. They never left him completely alone. Almost every time, Neil and Andrew stayed on the other side of the table, speaking in languages he didn’t know. Probably flirting shamelessly right on his face. However, the only one who stopped him from getting alcohol down his throat was Andrew, and only when he saw that another one would end up with Kevin passing out.

Five months had passed since Thea left him by now. And through text, at that. Apparently, he was making a fool of himself in public every day and it was bad for both of their careers. She didn’t want anything to do with him nor with Edgar Allen. The hypocrite. Kevin was the only one that was always mindful of his surroundings. The only one that acted perfect, that pushed every feeling inside so as to not attract too much undesired attention from the public. But she had it as she wanted it, and Kevin put no resistance against it. They didn’t even see each other and barely even texted or spoke on the phone.

The drinking got worse. The mighty Queen of Exy had fallen, but the only ones who saw it happening were the Foxes. And people who knew nothing about Exy in the darkness of a nightclub in full swing.

Four months had passed since on a Wednesday at 6 A.M., in the middle of his morning run, Neil had found Kevin, alone, near to unconsciousness in the middle of the road to Fox Tower. He had his body on the street and his head on the sidewalk. His face was pressed to the pavement as he sobbed, a half-empty bottle of vodka in his right hand.

Four months had passed since the last time he drank alcohol: he was four months sober now.

It had taken fights, screams, and comforting talks with Abby, but Kevin finally accepted to go to A.A. Neither Wymack nor Andrew would let him alone enough time for him to get near any type of alcoholic beverage. It took a while, but he got to the point that he spent a whole day not thinking about it.

Right now, he would kill for a drink. His mind seemed to have caught up on everything that had happened in the past few months. It was the beginning of term, so everyone wasn’t as free anymore to look out for him. Andrew and Neil had gone out a while ago, probably to the roof, since it was almost dawn. Kevin was left alone for more time than he could manage. The prospect of having to deal with still mourning the death of his worst nightmare, his own mental health, his addiction, and the school year, was simply too much. It was looming over him. He felt as if he was dying.

Maybe it was because he found himself with so few distractions that he started overthinking. Maybe he just opened the wrong Pandora’s box from the rotten depths of his mind. Either way, he was panicking. The rush of adrenaline and utter fear he felt —he remembered— from his time in the Nest was a live wire around his throat. How could he let all those things happen to him? Riko’s abuse, Tetsuji’s beating, the terror, the exposure. Being so vulnerable and ignored while also being right in the spotlight. “Always a commodity, never a human being...”

And then, what? He went running to his father, who didn’t even know he was his father. And he didn’t say anything about it until he was forced to do so. He was a coward. He was a coward, a fucking coward.

He couldn’t breathe. His head felt heavy, his shoulders felt heavy, his whole body felt heavy. Living felt heavy. Maybe he could just lay down where he was sitting on the couch and let himself go. But he couldn’t bring himself to move. His vision started blurring and everything around him was out of focus. Suddenly, there was a warm pressure on the back of his neck, and then another on his right cheek. The world started solidifying back, spinning around him, and he was gasping for air. He was letting out ragged, desperate gasps, his neglected lungs screaming for oxygen.

A face started coming to focus in front of him, but as soon as it materialized it blurred again. Tears were running down his face and he curled his arms around him. The pressure on the back of his neck —a hand, he realized— tightened, and the one on his cheek went up to pull at his hair.

“Kevin, look at me,” he heard someone say. The voice sounded familiar. “Kevin, I need you to breathe.”

The hand behind him stretched up and tangled between his hair as well, pushing his head slightly down.

“Come down, Kevin. You’re safe.”

The voices felt oddly comforting, and his hands flew up to grasp the other two. He was still crying and gasping, but it wasn’t as desperate. Maybe he wouldn’t die today.

At some point during the episode he had shut his eyes tightly, and now he tried to blink slowly, with narrowed eyes. The first thing that he saw was red hair, scarred skin, and blue eyes. Neil was in front of him, looking worried in his own way. His brow was furrowed, and he was chewing on his lip, but his expression didn’t seem quite compassionate.

“Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, Kevin,” he said. He showed the motion, exaggerating his breaths for Kevin to copy. And Kevin could only look him in the eyes and comply. Some time passed —maybe minutes, maybe hours— and the panic ebbed. The tears wouldn’t stop falling and his breath was shaky, but he wasn’t hyperventilating anymore.

He was still holding both hands, and he felt the one at the back of his head slip away from his grasp. He looked back and saw Andrew staring at him, sitting on the arm of the couch. Neil was sitting on the coffee table in front of it.

“I’m... I’m sorry, I just...” he started, but couldn’t finish.

Andrew didn’t look away from him. His face didn’t demonstrate any emotion, but he still wasn’t looking away. “What happened, Kevin?”

“I...” He sighed. “I started overthinking, and I really wanted a drink, and I... I guess it just went down from there.”

His voice was small and he hated it. He felt stupid, he couldn’t be left alone with his thoughts for two fucking seconds because he started falling to pieces.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“Well, don’t be,” Neil said. “It’s only natural for these things to happen.”

Kevin wasn’t really sure what he meant by that, but he didn’t have much time to think about it because then Neil was standing up and going to the kitchen. Kevin looked back towards Andrew and saw him lighting up a cigarette and walking to the desk next to the window.

“Go change your clothes, Kevin,” he said, looking out towards the campus. “You’ll be itchy until you do, and you probably drenched all that in sweat anyway.”

He was probably right, Kevin thought, but still glared in his direction. Only because it was in his nature and he felt better already; Andrew wasn’t looking at him. Though he probably knew Kevin would glare at him. Giving no response to the blonde, he stood up and went to the bedroom to change into his pajamas. Andrew was right: the sweatpants felt like heaven on his skin. He closed his eyes and brought his hands up to rub them. He was feeling sleepy all of a sudden. The panic attack had drained all the energy from him, and his muscles hurt everywhere.

He went back out to the living room, yawning, and found Neil sprawled on one end of the couch with his laptop on his lap and a cup of coffee on hand. Andrew had one too where he was still sitting on the desk, and there was another one on the coffee table.

“Is that for me?” Kevin asked, sitting down on the other end of the couch. Neil looked up at him from his laptop and raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“No, Day, I felt like having two cups of coffee,” he said. They fixed their eyes on each other until Kevin decided to take the cup. Neil seemed satisfied with that and looked back to where he was browsing something. A few seconds later he clicked on something with a flourish and put his laptop on the coffee table. It was a Trojan’s game they had already seen many times.

Kevin stared at Neil, but the boy just kept watching the beginning of the game. He saw Andrew moving to stub his finished cigarette on the window sill and light up another one. The last rays of sunshine and the street lights drew shadows all over his face. He breathed out the smoke and Kevin saw it disappearing in the wind. He looked back to the game playing on the laptop and brought his knees to his chest. He sipped on his coffee, and it was sugary sweet. But he could allow himself that, at least for today.

[bagelbright-tok]

"Hello! I want to request some Headcanons or Scenarios of Jotaro how he will react being shrunked mysteriously in the size of an action figure in his home one morning and Female Reader is his best friend tries hard to help him and make him feel comfortable but she gets stressed and feels that her efforts are not enough and she hides it but Jotaro sees through the fakery and comforts that everything is fine and no need to push herself. The idea takes place after Part 3 and Jotaro is in college."

(Y/N); Your name:: (E/C); Eye color:: (H/C); Hair color:: (S/T); Skin tone. Underlined is; Text message. Italics are; Other languages spoken. Bold are; Thoughts in the mind. *** is; Time skip. --- is; Different POV Word Count: 2368

Warning(s): Description of anxiety and stress. Described feelings of failure. Comfort. Mentions of Trauma.

___

Don't Be Such a Doll.

Jotaro x female!Reader

Platonic/Friend relationship ______________________

Jotaro's alarm clock blinked 3:28 AM. His eyes blinked tiredly with the clock. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. If he stayed up for this school report again, it'd be his 3rd day in a row without sleep. Jotaro sighed, closing his books and returning them to his bag and bookshelves. He grabbed his phone to check what he had missed while working. A message. From you. Someone he had learned to trust after moving to America for school. You were assigned to assist him with whatever he struggled with. After some years, a friendship had grown, a bond of trust. (Y/N): "Hey! I'm coming over to visit you tomorrow. The weekend is finally here, and I have something for you!" - 10:03 PM (Y/N): "Be sure to get some sleep too. I don't wanna get there and find you passed out or super tired." - 10:05 PM No one could hear the tone through a message. And yet, somehow, Jotaro felt the demanding voice of yours in his ears as he read the 2nd message. He planned on sleeping before seeing your message, but now he felt a sense of not wanting to do that anymore, only because you asked. He furrowed his brows and walked to his bed anyways.  His coat was thrown off onto his hanger, he slipped out of his shoes, and he tossed his hat onto his nightstand. Then he threw himself into his bed, putting his phone next to his hat on the nightstand. Sighing one last time, he closed his eyes, and fell asleep almost instantly. *** --- You'd awaken at 8 in the morning, happily getting up and getting dressed in casual attire. You walked into your bathroom, brushing through your long (h/c) hair, brushing your teeth, and washing your (s/t) skin. After pulling your hair into a ponytail, you checked your phone.

Your messages had been left on "Read," by Jotaro, at almost 3:30 in the morning. You sigh. "I hope he at least went to bed after that." You think to yourself, almost disappointed.

You walked into your kitchen, grabbing a small snack to eat, grabbing your gift for Jotaro, and grabbing your bag and keys. You opened your door, walked out, and shut the door behind you. Getting into your car, your destination set on Jotaro's place, you sent one final message to him. "On my way!" -9: 50 AM. --- Jotaro dryly opened his eyes, blinking a few times to refocus his vision, and to get most of the eye gunk out. Groaning, he sat up, feeling completely sore and having his entire body hurting. He rubbed his eyes, not necessarily caring that he was sore. He looked at his alarm clock on his desk. 9:00 AM. He took the time, and then noticed the size of everything. His alarm clock looked farther and bigger. His desk was humongous. The nightstand with his hat and phone all looked giant.  "What the Hell?" He whispered aloud.

Looking around some more, everything around him was huge. Or… He looked down at himself. He was small. He had shrunken down to around 8 inches (20 CM). He was definitely awake now. He frantically got up, standing on his feet, on his bed, looking around his room for the potential enemy that had done this to him. He was still traumatized by the events that had taken place in 1988, and expected this to be an enemy attack. No one came out, though.

"Come out now!" Jotaro yelled, hoping this would scare them out. He summoned Star Platinum, expecting it to be the same size as him, but it was still as large as ever. Jotaro waited 5 minutes. Nothing. There was no one in his home, or at least, in his room. Still on high alert, he managed to slide down his bed using the blankets onto the floor. The only way he was able to get around his home was using Star to open doors and turn on lights. Doing this, Jotaro spent almost an hour searching his house. Still no one but himself and the occasional dust bunnies. Now it was confusing. If it had been an enemy, why would they attack him at his most vulnerable, and just leave, leaving him even more vulnerable. Hearing his phone go off, he left his living area back to his room. His guard was slightly lowered, but still high, still expecting someone to come out and attack him. He climbed back onto his bed, grabbing the blankets and using them as ropes. Onto his bed, he went and hopped onto his nightstand. Jotaro managed to turn his phone on and put in his pin by himself while Star stood guard. The notification was a message from you. (Y/N): "On my way!" -9:50 AM. Sent just a minute ago. Meaning you'd be there within 5-10 minutes, depending on the severity of traffic. Jotaro pondered what your reaction would be. You sort of knew about Stands, but you weren't a Stand user. Jotaro had somewhat talked to you about them, explaining what his did and what his Grandfather's Stand did. He'd even displayed his Stand's strength to you one day when while you two were out walking, a perv had tried to grope you. Jotaro nor Star took it kindly, and pummeled the drugged perv into his place in Hell. Seeing as there appeared to be no enemies in his house, he waited for you. He was a bit disappointed that you would have to see him hatless, shoeless, and coatless, but the most important thing was getting him unshrunk. *** --- 10 minutes passed and you finally arrived, parking nearby, you walked up to his door, knocking, and ringing the doorbell. You wait patiently, knowing he was up by then and that he heard your knock. If he wasn't awake, then he was now. A minute had passed. If you didn't know any better, you'd say you were getting impatient. You didn't knock or ring again. You waited. You knew Jotaro hated it when people were impatient, especially when only a minute had gone by. Right on time, the door swung open. But-- You look around, not stepping in.  "Jotaro?" He wasn't at the door. "Is he pulling a prank, or joking around? No, that would be too out of character." “Oi! Down here!" You can barely hear his hollering. Following the voice your head automatically looks down at the floor. Down at Jotaro. "..." "..." "What the Hell?!" You burst out, shocked, surprised, kind of scared. "Jotaro?!' "Good grief. Quiet down will you?" Jotaro asked, more demanding, of you with his usual tone. "Come on in. Maybe you can help with my situation." You just nodded along, walking in as Jotaro hopped to the side of the door. You entered, shutting the door thinking that Jotaro wouldn't be able to reach again. Still shocked, you slowly head into his kitchen and set his gift on the counter, and your bag onto the small table that was in his "dining room". You walked back on over to the small Jotaro that stood below you. "Jotaro…?" You say, almost questionably. "What--? How--? Why--? I don't--" You didn't know what to ask first. You took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. Trying to calm down, you smiled nervously, and bent down to look at him better. "Is this some fever dream I'm having?" "No." Jotaro bluntly and quickly answered. "As much as I wish it was, it isn't. I woke up like this, and I don't know how or why." "Uhm-- okay okay." You closed your eyes for a couple of seconds. "Oh! Those Stand things you mentioned before. They have abilities right? Maybe someone did this to you..?"

"I thought so too, but if they did it maliciously they would've attacked me while I slept or at least when I had woken up." Jotaro pointed out. "This has to be a Stand attack, but I'm not sure of the reasoning behind it."

"Good point.. I guess." You state, confused. "What can I uh-- What can I help with?"

"Research. Maybe there are others in the area that have gone through something similar." Jotaro stated, beginning to walk into his office room. "Whether articles directly say it, or they are labelled as 'missing.' “ "Alrighty then." You stand up and follow Jotaro slowly. *** You'd acquired his laptop and began charging it for use. You got things around the room for Jotaro that were out of his range. You helped him into higher areas that he needed to reach. It was all still super bizarre. You were still expecting to wake up any second. Only 45 minutes passed, and this wasn't how you expected to use your time. Nothing was coming up. And now you two were contemplating going out and searching for any suspicious figures. *** 20 minutes. Now you two were out and on foot. Jotaro hung out in your bag and you walked around to wherever he asked. Just normal people going about their normal days. However normal is in Florida, that is.  "Take a left." Jotaro said, peering out of your bag. 

You take a left. This continued, you just followed the words Jotaro spoke. *** 30 minutes passed. Your anxiety and stress built up. The horrible feeling of a weight in your chest. The thoughts that ran through your mind. Your amped up heart rate. You felt a bit useless. Just carrying him around, unable to assist in finding the enemy. You couldn't see Stands, and so it was only Jotaro's eyes that had to scan everywhere. You got weird looks from people whenever you tried to talk to Jotaro. So at this point, you had just decided to remain silent, making small noises whenever Jotaro asked you to go somewhere. You decided that to help in any way you could, you wouldn't bring up needing to stop for a break, or mention just giving up. It would be for Jotaro to decide when to do that. But even at this point, Jotaro was starting to give up. Not that he felt at this point that it was useless, but the energies you radiated were definitely felt by him. The anxiety filled noises, the stressed gulps you took nervously. It was obvious.  "Oi, (Y/N). Are you okay?" Jotaro asked. "Yeah of course." You respond, trying to sound happy. "Are you okay? Isn't it a bit uncomfortable to be small and in my bag?"

"I'm fine." Jotaro stated, more convincing than you had said. *** 25 minutes. The weight in your chest grew heavier. The dread you felt when you thought about the odds of Jotaro remaining this size. It was already about to be the afternoon, and there had been no luck whatsoever. Your feet were burning and your legs were hurting. You grew hungry, tired, and a bit thirsty. You didn't want to mention anything, though. You were already just as useful as a piece of broken glass on the floor. The frown on your face proved even more to Jotaro that something was wrong. "You are not okay, (Y/N)." "Huh? What?" You were taken aback "What do you mean? Of course I--" "Don't."Jotaro stopped you. "What's bothering you?" "..." You remained silent for a moment, still walking around aimlessly. "I guess. I feel a bit useless right now. Suddenly I'm super stressed and anxious. I feel like if we don't find whoever did this to you, it's my fault." You explain quietly. "I can't see 'Stands.' I can't really help other than just walking where you want. I'm sorry for being pretty useless." You lightly chuckle at the end. "Sorry for getting all cheesy too." Jotaro remained quiet for a moment. He didn't really know how to process it. Not many, if any, actually went to him and let their feelings out to him. "Good grief…" He whispered to himself. "(Y/N), don't be like that. You are helping the best you can, and that's what matters." His tone wasn't comforting, it remained monotone. His words were comforting, though. "Really?" You ask, just wanting confirmation. "Sure."Jotaro couldn't bring himself to give a straight "yes." "Jo-"You were interrupted by Jotaro. "Oi! Over there! Straight ahead!" He yelled, pointing at a strange looking man who was already attempting to flee. Hesitating for about a second, you booked it running after the strange man. You pushed past the small crowds of people in the streets, and gained on the man. He seemed out of shape, and would die if he continued to run for another 5 minutes. Once he was 5ft away, Jotaro summoned Star, and used it to slam the man down. The crowds had died down in this area, and so there were only about 1-2 people outside watching. "Bastard!" You yell, as intimidating as you could. You slowed to a halt beside the man who was disoriented. "You're the one who shrunk Jotaro aren't you?" "Huh--? What? No! I don't know--"The man tried to play dumb, but was obviously nervous and had already shown himself as guilty when he had started running. "Y-You aren't even a Stand user! You can't do anything!" You realised that the man didn't know that Jotaro was with you. "You wanna bet, bub?" You snarl. Jotaro read your mind, and summoned Star right behind you. The shadow cast over Star made him all the more frightening. The man yelped. "Ah-! O-Okay! I'm sorry! I'll make him normal again!" He squealed, terrified. At that, Jotaro hopped out of your bag, and was almost immediately reverted back to his tall self. You smiled mischievously at how easily the enemy had been intimidated by you and Jotaro's Stand. "H-Hang on! That wasn't your Stand! That was--"The man stupidly connected the dots. But he was interrupted when Jotaro had used Star to grab the man and begin to pummel him. You couldn't see the magnificence that was Star, but you could see the show that he gave. You didn't have a magnificent Stand to show off to Jotaro, but he could still see the true friend within you. ________ E N D A/N: Apologies for any errors. I wrote this all down, pasted it into here, formatted it, and posted it. No look overs for spellings mistakes or grammatical errors.

[5am-the-foxing-hour]

The Adventures 2020

4th Advent (December 20th) Snow

Year 2020’s Adventures

5 parter, each part posted on advent: 1st 29th November, 2nd 6th December, 3rd 13th December and 4th 20rd December and the last part on Christmas 24th of December

Characters: All of them

Words: 1561

Warnings: Remus mentions decapitating heads of snowmen, shouting, some curses. other than that i don’t think there are any.

- - -

General Fanfic Tag list: @ebony-wolf, @nashiraneko, @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom, @rabbitsartcorner, @punsterterry,  @sleepyssnail,  @nightmaresides, @virgilswritings, @ninja-girl2846, @ninjago2020, @starryfirefliesbloggo, @garecc,  @sympatheticdeceit, @cookiethedevil, @askthesnake,  @all-bridges-will-burn, @tacohippy56900, @little-euro-girl, @aggressiveshipper, @imbasicallyshakespear, @slayerofspiders, @prinssess61, @underthesea73,  @suicidalcitrusfruit,  @sander-side-stuff, @franthehorsegir, @kingpridesanders,

- - -

  “IT’S SNOWING!” Thomas must have fallen asleep on his couch, because he woke with a start and a yelp as he fell off it staring wildly and blearily around the living room to find Remus bouncing before the big window, drapes pushed to the side to reveal the heavy blanket of snow that was already covering the ground as well as the big snowflakes that fell from the sky.

Thomas sat up on the floor and rubbed at his eyes, thinking he was still dreaming before he looked outside again, the snow was still there.

  “Oh my GOSH!” Thomas called scrambling over to the window, standing next to Remus who was making giddy noises still bouncing on the spot. “But how?! We’re in Florida!” Thomas said as he pushed the back door open, only to get blasted in the face with the cold air, making him squeak and close the door again with a shiver.

  “What’s with all the noise? I’m trying to sleep...” Roman huffed as he rose up before the TV, rubbing his eye, wearing a royal red morning robe and a pair of fluffy slippers, hair wild and standing in all directions. It was clear he had only just woken up.

  “IT’S SNOWING ROBRO! LOOK!” Remus barked happily. Roman hummed as he stretched.

  “Don’t be stupid, we live in Florida, how much snow could it possibly… be...” Roman starred as he looked out the window. His jaw dropped and he just gaped. “By the eye of Odin...” he walked over to the window, placing his hands on the window sill to get a better look. “It really is snowing...” He was awake in seconds “THOMAS!” he called spinning around to face their whole. Thomas blinked. “GET DRESSED! WE NEED TO MAKE A SNOWMAN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! OH AND SNOW ANGLES!” Roman kept going with every idea that you did in the snow that he’d seen in movies, but due to Florida’s normally hot weather, they’ve never really gotten to experience it. Remus was nodding along with every idea Roman spit balled out. Thomas couldn’t help but laugh at the twins's excitement.

  “If he is to go out in this weather he needs to dress accordingly, it is cold outside, so you will need to wear several layers of clothes before you put on your winter jacket to not risk frostbite.” Logan said, fixing his glasses as he rose up on his spot next to the stairs.

  “Or he just doesn’t go outside!” Virgil shouted as he appeared on the stairs, looking like he had just thrown his hoodie over his pyjamas, if the black skulled pants flannel pants was anything to go by, and the lack of shoes and make up.

  “NO! THAT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION!” Both Roman and Remus shouted “This is a once in a lifetime experience! Thomas is going out in the snow and I will not let you keep him hiding indoors!” Roman lamented pointing a finger at Virgil who hissed back.

  “Kiddos, please don’t fight this early in the morning.” Patton said around a yawn as he too rose up.

  “It’s 9 am Patton.” Logan huffed

  “It is far too early, and it is faaaar too cold for anyone to be up.” a hissing voice came as Janus appeared next to Logan, wrapped in a thick blanket and the only thing that really was visible was his snake eye glowing yellow from the darkness of the blanket.

  “We can stand here and argue all day, and risk the snow MELTING!” Roman shouted, waving his arms like an angry bird.

  “YEAH!” Remus shouted “I want to decapitate some snowmen!”

 Thomas just took all of the sides in. Janus looked like he wanted it to be summer again, glaring at the snow as if it had insulted his very existence. Logan was the only one who was dressed fully. Thomas first now realised Remus was only in his underwear.

  “Aren’t you cold Rem?” Thomas asked, Remus blinked and turned to face him tilting his head like a confused puppy.

  “Hah? Why would I be?”

  “Don’t worry Thomas, Remus is very hot.” Janus mumbled.

  “Oh I know I’m hot, snakey~” Remus smirked as he did a shimmy. Janus just sighed

  “I totally meant it that way...”

Logan clapped his hands to gain everyone's attention.

  “Thomas still needs to find his winter gear in the closet, before he can embark on any kind of activity outside.”

  “Hm, true.” Roman said before he grabbed Thomas by the arm and dragged him along “Our first quest! Find the hidden winter coat!” Thomas only laughed, while Virgil and Logan rolled their eyes.

 - - -

 In the end, most of the sides had come outside with him, after getting dressed accordingly to handle the cold.

Roman and Logan were helping Thomas make a snowman. Remus was running around in the snow like an excited ferret, diving into it before wiggling around and then bouncing up and diving into it again, leaving no part of the snow in Thomas’s backyard undisturbed. Patton had managed to get Virgil to come outside, the anxious side having acted like the snow would bite him at any moment, but when it was clear the snow was no danger quite so literary, Virgil let himself be pulled along by Patton as the two started doing some snow angles. Janus watched from the warmth of the inside. He had almost gotten dragged out by Remus, but Janus had only taken one step outside before he went nope and turned on his heel and walked back inside.

The snow and cold of the real world, way worse than that of the imagination. 

He huffed as he watched how Remus gathered snow in his hands, making it into a snowball and throwing it, striking Virgil right in the face, knocking the side over onto his back. Janus rolled his eyes as he moved to the kitchen. He’d let the kids have fun for now, as he started to prepare some hot chocolate for when they came back inside, as well as taking out some of the saffron buns and gingerbread's.

A presence made him glance to the right to see how the last side was sitting crouched on the kitchen counter, clearly munching on one of the gingerbread cookies. 

  “I see you left your room.” Janus said as he returned his attention to the milk he was warming on the stove. “Any particular reason?” a noncommittal noise was all he got

  “I got bored.”

Janus turned around to talk more only to find the counter once again empty of an orange side. He huffed and rolled his eyes.

  “You cryptid.”

He finished mixing the cocoa into the milk and removed the pot from the stove, taking out 7 cups and putting them on the counter.

Janus moved over to the door, opening it to call out to the others to get their sorry asses inside before the hot cocoa got cold.

But he barely got to open his mouth before a stray snowball struck him right in the face. 

  “AHA! HEAD SHOT!” Remus called with a cackle only to make a dying noise when one of Roman’s snowballs struck his chest.

Janus stroked the steadily melting snow from his face and shivered as he looked out at the scene. the poor snowman stood in the middle of the now all out war. Janus chuckled darkly making Remus and Virgil still.

  “Hoooooooo, is it a war you want.” Janus said as he summoned his other arms. stepping out in the snow as his clothes changed to the winter gear. “THEN IT IS A WAR YOU WILL GET YOU DAMNED RAT!” Janus called as he unleashed snowball after snowball. Remus screeched as he dove behind the snowman “DON’T YOU DARE HIDE FROM ME!”

 They were all drenched and tired when they got back inside. Janus was grousing and hissing as he snapped his fingers to change out of his wet clothes to something warm and fluffy.

The hot cocoa needed to be reheated, but no one was complaining, just happy to get some warmth back in their bodies.

Thomas was smiling, as he left the sides to go change into dry clothes himself.

When he came back downstairs Remus and Roman had already fallen asleep sprawled on the floor. Logan was sitting on the couch reading, taking sips from his cup of hot cocoa now and again. Patton was leaning against his other side, half asleep now when the excitement had died down.

Virgil and Janus were the only ones still at the kitchen counter. Janus’s cape having been changed with a thick black knitted plaid as he curled around the warm cup, Virgil was sitting cross legged on the counter nursing his own cup.

  “That was more fun than I was expecting.” Thomas said as he took the last cup and leaned against the counter. “But very cold.”

  “I kinda want to hope the snow stays around till christmas...” Virgil huffed as he put his now empty cup onto the counter to hug around his legs.

  “I hope not. If it does, I'm going to sleep until spring comes back.” Janus huffed

  “If we get you a heat blanket?” Thomas asked with a smile. Janus took a sip of his own drink and huffed a small pout.

  “I’ll consider it.”

[fumiko-matsubara]

Writing Exercise 2 // AssClass x Tower of God AU - Reunion

Writing Exercise // AC x Tog AU - Catching up

Summary: In their 10 years of climbing the Tower together nonstop, Team END should have known by now that anything could happen so suddenly.

However, a reunion with an old teammate was certainly not what most of them have in mind.

Word count: 2.3k words

• ▪ • ▪ •

Nakamura was exhausted.

Well actually, all of them are. But yeah, she's exhausted.

Team END had recently just cleared the final floor test that allowed them to arrive at the 30th Floor, which was basically a more brutal take of the Capture the Flag game, that lasted them over 8 hours to finish.

Injuries barely treated, bodies aching, sleep lacking, and stomachs starting to rumble, the last thing they'd want to happen was to encounter another trouble the moment they had been transported to the next floor.

"Oi Nakamura, are you sure we should be heading this way..?" Okajima barely squeaked out, frozen at his own spot as he fearfully stared at the sight before them.

"That's what it says on my lighthouse!" She hissed quietly, glaring at the glowing blue cube floating beside her.

Chiba should have been more specific about where his goddamn house is located in this floor.

He had told her before that he has his own residence here at the 30th Floor, somewhere beyond this swamp-like forest thingy, which he had given Team END the permission to reside in for the next 20 Floors until they become C-Rank Regulars.

Yet he never said anything about dealing with dangerous creatures along the way.

Nakamura had discreetly messaged him through her Pocket minutes ago, which he had replied to not long after.

"Wait, I just got off from work. I'll be right there." - Ryuunosuke

It had been 15 minutes since then.

Nakamura is surely going to give him a good slap the moment she sees the Spear Bearer. Well, if she can still recognize him, that is, since the dude had that annoying black cloak nearly hiding his entire body when she first bumped into him at a marketplace at the 21st Floor three years ago.

So here they all are, standing frozen before a sort of gigantic forest creature (who looks hungry, by the way), too exhausted and injured to put up a fight, let alone save themselves.

A Green Mulso, Kurahashi had informed them, is a shinheuh that resembles a gigantic Water Buffalo meant to guard certain areas in a swamp forest from outsiders. There are two types of Mulso, a green one and a brown one. The brown ones are much smaller and friendlier apparently.

Kurahashi then oh-so helpfully told the team that Green Mulsos are wild, incredibly sturdy, and cannot be tamed at all, even by the most talented Anima.

So in short, unless they still got enough stamina to spare, they're doomed.

I swear to god, Ryuunosuke. If I die here right now in the most pathetic way I will fucking haunt you for eternity-

A flash of bright blue from a distance had cut off Nakamura's thoughts, her eyes widening as she watched the water-like shinsu pierce through the wild beast before them at a frightening speed, killing it instantly.

A chorus of surprised yelps were let out at the sight, some where even full-out screams.

Everyone then instinctively moved away when the now dead green mulso had fallen to the ground, it's large size causing it to shake for a moment.

"Oh my god what was that..." Maehara breathed out, his hand clutching over his chest.

Some of them tentatively stared at the dead giant creature before them, some where eve cautiously approaching it to see the wound, while others chose to avoid looking at it.

Nakamura just stayed at her spot, the gears in her brain already working to find answers. A blast of water-like shinsu was what killed the creature, which could have been done by a Wave Controller from just the shinsu's form itself alone. Yet the blast itself looked too thin compared to what Nakamura usually saw what Wave Controllers do.

Not to mention it looked like it had come from a very long distance, which is a range that not even Rankers could reach, as once clarified by Koro-sensei when they were still at the 2nd Floor. A range like that is something only Spear Bearers could do.

Nakamura then frowned at the thought.

But are there even any Spear Bearers who use water-like shinsu to shoot? She knows about Lightning and Ice users who make their own spears, there have been plenty of Regulars and Rankers who were known for that after all, but a Water user Spear Bearer is unheard of.

This would be the first time she sees one if she was correct.

"Woah I got here just in time, thank goodness..." A familiar voice spoke out at a fair distance.

Nakamura's eyes then roamed around the tall trees surrounding them, assuming the guy was somewhere perched up at one of them, based from where she could hear his voice coming from. "Well, you sure took your sweet time to get here," she huffed.

A wave of murmurs and whispers gradually built up and Nakamura could make out some of them wondering how she seemed to know the voice that was talking just now.

"The town was especially busy today and I can't just jump between rooftops, you know that..." He sighed out. "On another note, I didn't think you guys would actually go to this part of the forest. This place is inhabited by Green Mulsos after all, you know how wild those things are."

"And yet it only took you a single shot to kill one," Nakamura raised an eyebrow, her eyes darting everywhere, still trying to look for him.

"I live around here. You just get used to them."

A flash of light and suddenly an overwhelming pair of bright maroon eyes were right in front of her, along with a wide smile gracing the face those eyes belonged to.

Nakamura hesitantly took a step back, giving the tall figure that had appeared before her a once over. Sharp maroon eyes, tall nose, plump lips, strong eyebrows, and long dark hair pulled up in a high ponytail with fringes widely parted at the middle ー a pretty one yet there's a tinge of manliness to it with that long brown coat over a white polo and black pants combo.

How handsome.

Nakamura then narrowed her gaze. Something about this person is ridiculously familiar to her but she couldn't recall anyone with this appearance or at least close to having it.

Hey wait a minute. Nakamura frowned even further. If that was Chiba who I was talking to just now and this person showed up then-

The person's smile dropped then raised an eyebrow at her instead. "What's with that look?"

A scream ripped itself from Nakamura's throat.

• ▪ • ▪ •

"Wow you changed a lot!"

"You think I'd still look the same after 10 years?" Chiba incredulously asked.

30 seconds of dodging mild embarrassment and composure regaining, Nakamura then revealed to the rest of the team that the person who had appeared before them was Chiba, their former teammate who had been seperated from them 22 Floors below.

After that sudden reunion, but not without a strong slap on the shoulder by Nakamura, Chiba soon led the whole team towards the place he is residing in, which was beyond the forest. The route they are currently taking was much farther away from where they were at previously and less closed off.

There were less trees around them and the pathway is much clearer and if they look even further ahead, they can see a wide clearing at a distance.

The walk was fairly quiet, as the whole team was too exhausted from the previous Floor Test to even make enough noise. Some even start to doze off and are just being carried by lighthouses instead of walking, and some of the Light Bearers in the team had just went inside their respective lighthouses.

Kurahashi in particular was fast asleep on Cattus' back, a cat-like cactus creature she had befriended back then, currently in its giant form as it cutely marched beside Chiba and Nakamura, who were walking ahead of everyone.

"Water spears are definitely the last thing I thought you'd use," Nakamura remarked. Unlike the majority of them, she still has enough energy to engage in a conversation. "I was kinda expecting you to wield a sniper rifle or something."

Chiba let out mellowed chuckles. "I actually do own one. But I only use it for specific types of Floor tests," he professed.

"Oh really?" Nakamura blinked at him im wonder. "Where'd you get it?"

"Ah I won it at the Workshop Battle I participated in 4 years ago."

Nakamura nearly faltered at the name almost bitterly but then quickly recovered. "I see," she forced a cheeky grin. "Probably gave them hell, huh?"

"That was Miki," Chiba rolled his eyes though his smile never left his place. "Anyways, water spears. I've always known how to make them but I've only started to utilize them even more around the time I came to the 12th Floor."

Nakamura hummed in response. "So like... 8 or 9 years ago..?"

"Nine years ago," he confirmed. "Enough time for me to solidify its reliability in battle and learn more ways to utilize it."

"I believe this is the first time I've heard of a Spear Bearer who uses Water shinsu to make their own spears," a golden-litted lighthouse suddenly flew in front of the two. "I apologize for abruptly joining in but I am personally intrigued by this discussion, if you don't mind, Chiba-kun."

"Oh Asano-kun," Chiba's smile widened. "You'd be surprised to know that I'm actually not the only one who does this."

"Is that so?"

"But you're still right," Chiba slightly moved away from Nakamura and faced the two of them, bringing his right arm out.

A small bang of water-like shinsu started forming on his palm then suddenly sprouted into a very long shaft that is twice the height of Chiba himself less than a second after. Its blade forming into a drill-shaped head with small flows of water spiralling around the shaft almost prettily.

With a proud smile, Chiba momentarily spun the newly formed spear around. "I'm the only Spear Bearer in the family who had managed to make it sturdy enough to be a main weapon of choice."

He doesn't need to elaborate for both Nakamura and Asano to know what he meant by 'family'.

Ryuunosuke is from the Great Family of Chiba, whose Head was one of the Great Warriors who had first climbed towards the top of the Tower along with the King himself. Anyone tied with the Chiba bloodline is automatically a Water User by default, unless they chose not to use the water-manifested shinsu, as the heritage is that strong.

Chiba himself is not a direct descendant of the Head, making him one of the less important members as the Family Tree is ridiculously huge that a random Regular could actually meet at least 2 Chiba members in each Floor.

But from what he implied just now, his unique standing as a Spear Bearer might just make him stand out in the vast sea mostly full of Wave Controllers.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't intentionally trying to get my name out there in order to be respected in the family as my own person and not be seen as 'just another Chiba'," he admitted with a determined look. "After all, I was born thousands of years after my greatest grandmother had become one of the Great Family Leaders in the Tower."

He then grinned almost challengingly. "But hearing what both of you said just now is just making me want to work even harder."

Nakamura smirked anticipatingly, trying to bury down the nervousness that had shot throughout her body. That frightening display just earlier and yet he's saying such things like this right now... damn he's grown out of our league...

A seemingly amused chuckle had suddenly come out out the golden lighthouse floating beside them. "It's almost admirable to see how very self-assured you are despite the strong clutches of your influencial family name. I can respect that."

Equally amused, Chiba had vanished the water sphere and turned to the giant glowing golden cube. "Well I suppose my conviction is new for someone who is the only descendant of the Great Lord Asano," he remarked.

"But enough about me, I want to hear your story." He gestured a hand towards him (or the cube) and grinned further. "How did the only child of the strongest Light Bearer in the Tower end up travelling with an old team of mine after that initial claim he had of taking no absolute interest in them?"

Nakamura, who had just been attentively listening to them the whole time, suddenly let out an evil cackle. "Oh man do I have the perfect story to share..."

"No! Her so-called 'perfect story' is nothing but exaggerated lies! Do not listen to her!"

"What exaggerated lies?" Nakamura laughed out loud, her grin even wider. "I literally got a lot of proof saved inside my lighthouse!"

She then gasped dramatically. "Maybe I should just send them to him!"

"Don't you dare!" Asano warned.

Chiba just owlishly blinked at the incredulous sight of Nakamura and a floating golden cube bickering. He was sure it wasn't that long ago when Nakamura had told him about Asano and Sakakibara temporarily joining Team END for a while. Yet the display before him made it seem like their newly formed alliance wasn't that recent at all.

Yeah, there's a lot of catching up for me to do alright...

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

Mr. Radio Dj (Johnny Seo/Smut)

A/N: This wasn’t requested and I am really in my feelings about Johnny all because of my friend. So yeah, here we are. I want NCT Night Night back. 

Tags: smut? uh fluffy smut? nothing to be scared of

Word count: 4863

August

Your first year of college was hard, you weren’t anticipating feeling that stressed, yet you managed to pull through. You had created a system, get back to the dorm, make dinner, turn on the radio to the college channel and work on your assigments. 

The college radio show was very lowkey, playing every evening at 7:30 p.m to 10 p.m. From what you could tell not a lot of people listened to it, or knew about it but you thoroughly enjoyed it. The host being a 3rd year college student by the name of Johnny. From what you could tell he was quite funny, yet relaxed and very therapeutic to listen to. You found him to be quite motivating as well, always speaking words of encouragement before ending his show. 

His radio show was one of the few things that kept you sane in your first year and you had grown quite attached. So when you went back for your second year, you were looking forward to hearing that familiar voice again. So there you sat, with a cup of fresh coffee in hand and your radio to your right. 

“Welcome back students! It’s your host Johnny here, returning for my last year as host. Ahh, It’s so bittersweet.” Johnny paused and you felt sad. He would be graduating this year and you felt momentarily lost. His show had helped you through your hardships. “Sadly, this might be the last year for the show in general, no one would like to take over. So here is a public service anouncement. If you are at all interested in possibly taking over as host, please come into the on campus broadcasting building. The door is open between 5 p.m and 7:30.” He said with a tone of disappointment in his voice. 

Being a radio dj wasn’t something you had originally planned on doing, but you thought it would be such a shame if the show died because no one would take over. So you made a split second decision, that the next day, you would go to the on campus broadcasting building and see if you were cut out to do it. You loved the show and it made your day better, so if you could do that for someone else it was nice.

You made your way to the broadcasting station after your class, incredibly nervous for no reason. The broadcasting station was home to your college’s local news program and the home to auditorium, where the film and acting students practically lived. It also housed the small, old dingey radio booth and record room. 

You were surprised, the aree not being anything you expected when you entered. The record room was filled with cd’s, vinyls and cassette tapes and it smelled kind of old and dusty. But it didn’t bother you, it kind of felt cozy. To your left was the glass window, showcasing the DJ booth and you smiled to yourself. You walked up to it, looking in and just looked for a second, admiring it. 

“Can I help you?”  Johnny’s voice came from behind you and you jumped. He had caught you completely off guard and your heart was racing. “Oh my god.” You exclaimed, clutching your chest. He started to laugh, covering his mouth before apologising. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said and put his hands into his jeans pockets. 

You never knew the face behind the voice and it surprised you to say the least. You weren’t expecting him to be so attractive. With dark brown hair, messily pushed back, white t-shirt tucked into black jeans and converse, he was effortlessly attractive. But you had to say, the feature that stuck out to you the most was his eyes. A nice warm brown with some golden tones. He was really attractive. 

“Uhm, it’s okay. I’m actually here because of what you said in last night’s show. Looking for someone to take over for next year.” You said and his eyes went wide.”OH, I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually show up.” He said and leaned against some shelves. Johnny scratched his head, before looking at you with a smile. “I actually don’t know what to say, I really wasn’t expecting anyone to show up.” He told and you looked down to the floor with a smile. 

“Yeah, your show kind of kept me sane last year, in my first year. So it would be a shame if it went away.” You said and Johnny felt himself blush a little. “I just realised, I totally forgot to introduce myself, I’m Johnny.” He said and extended his hand. “I’m Y/N.” You said in return and shook his hand. 

“I’ve been doing this alone now for almost 4 years, so it would be nice to have some help this year and to show you the ropes if you really want to take over.” He said and you nodded. “Sounds good. I’m excited to start.” You said and Johnny beamed at you. His smile was almost intimidating and it seemed it could make you blush in an instant. 

“So considering you are the only person to apply, you’re hired! Well, not hired because this isn’t a paying job but you get what I mean.” He said and scrambled into the DJ booth. You stayed put, just watching him and fixing your hair a little. He came back, his phone in hand and handed it to you. 

“If you could just give me your number and then I can send you the schedule and stuff.” He said and you simply gave him your number. “Thank you for giving me this chance.” You said with a humble smile. 

Johnny was still surprised, his mind being a little blown at the fact that someone responded to his PSA. Let alone someone like you. He thought you were gorgeous, generally not the type of person that would listen to a crappy little radio show and enjoy it as much as you did. 

“I will text you the details and when you should start.” He said and you nodded. “Alright.” You said and he grabbed your hand and shook it in gratitude. “i’ll see you.” You said and smiled at him one more time before leaving. Johnny nodded and watched you leave. 

The second you were gone, he let out a sigh of relief. Even though the radio show wasn’t something he was paid to do and not a lot of people listened to it. He was proud of it. it was something he had made and he didn’t want to see it die. Because of you it wasn’t going too and he could really appreciate that. 

When you got back to your dorm, you turned the radio on and started cooking your dinner. That familiar intro started and you couldn’t help but smile. “Today’s show is kind of special.” Johnny’s voice filled your ears as you stirred. “I got approached by someone today is willing to learn the ropes to become the new host. Y/N, I know you’re listening. I just want to thank you. I was too speechless this afternoon. It means alot.” He said and you stopped your actions. You felt your heart flutter as the first song played. You were happy you were going to be a part of the show. 

The schedule required you to be there everyday at 5 p.m until the show was over and on Saturdays from 10 a.m untill 10 p.m to discuss the coming weeks shows. Sunday there was no show and you had a day off. 

You didn’t mind the busy schedule. Your first year in college you barely took any time to focus on other things aside from school and it drove you nearly insane. The radio show would be your way to unwind and you started that Saturday. 

That morning you made sure to get up on time to go get coffee and muffins for the two of you and you entered the broadcasting building. The door was proving to be a pain as you held 2 hot coffees and a bag of muffins. “Here let me help you.” Johnny’s voice said and opened the door for you. You quickly entered the room and placed the coffees and muffins on the table. “Thank you.’ You said and Johnny just nodded. “I brought you a coffee.” You said and handed it to him. His fingers grazing yours as he graciously took it from you. “You didn’t have to, but thank you.” He said and sipped. 

You two sat in the DJ booth and started brainstorming ideas and playlists. DIscussing music and interests, just getting to know each other. Johnny was just like he was on his radio show, very open and very warm. It also seemed your interests were very similar and it made you really happy. 

“Oh, thank you for what you said in your show the other night. It was really sweet.” You said thanking him and he smiled. “Well I really meant it. This show means a lot to me and I don’t want to see it die.” Johnny said and leaned back. “But now that I’ve talked to you more, I see we have a lot in common so I don’t think show will change much when you start to host so it’s nice. Even our playlists are similar, I really like it.” Johnny told you and you two locked eyes for a moment. 

He was so warm and considering you had listened to him talk for over a year, it felt liek you knew him really well. You were already starting to form a crush on him and you mildly hated yourself for it. It was Johnny’s last school year, the last thing he would want would be to date a 2nd year and a someone he would be working with. So you pushed your feelings to the back of your mind, only wanting to focus on doing the radio show well. 

You learned a lot in your first few months working under him, it genuinely surprised you. You didn’t realise how much work it actually was but it became something you were really interested in. Johnny definitely helped peak your interest. But he also supported you and was very proud of how fast you picked things up. 

October

It was a Saturday night and you had been there for 2 months, loving every second of it. Johnny was wrapping up the show for the night as you finished re-arranging the records on a shelf, a little project you had decided to take on while Johnny DJ’ed. 

The door to the booth opened and the first thing you heard was a yawn come from Johnny. “I don’t get how you can still be so tired with how much coffee you drink.” You said, grabbing a stack of vinyls off of the shelf. “I don’t get how you aren’t tired with how little coffee you drink.” He retorted and moved to flip through the vinyls with you. 

“You going to go home soon?” He asked and you paused to look at him. “Not yet, I want to finish this shelf.” You said and he nodded in response. “What does your boyfriend think about you working here with me almost everyday ‘till 10?” Johnny said and the question made you laugh. “What makes you think I have a boyfriend?” You asked him and sat down on the table, your legs dangling over the floor. “I don’t know, you have a good head on your shoulders, you’re smart and you’re definitely beautiful. Seems like it would be obvious that you would have a boyfriend.” He said and his words made you blush before he held up a vinyl of Weird Al, making you laugh. 

“I really appreciate that. But no, no boyfriend.” You said and he frowned. “Why?” He asked and sat down next to you. The questions didn’t make you uncomfortable, you were comfortable with Johnny, even in your short time knowing him. “Not looking to find one. If it happens, it happens. I’m content until it does.” You told him and he just nodded in understanding. “Now, let me flip the question. Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” You asked and he started laughing. 

“Why must you ask such painful questions?” He asked with a pained face. “You asked them first!” You said, smacking his chest lightly. “I have my eyes on someone. They just aren’t really aware of it.” Johnny said, turning to you. “Ahh, so you’re a stalker.” You joked and he laughed. “I guess so.” He said in response. 

You two were looking at each other, eyes locked in complete silence. The radio room was dimly lit and you two were the only ones left in the broadcasting building. 

“It’s late, we should probably lock up. You can finish that shelf Monday.” Johnny told you and you saluted him. “Yes, sir.” He just looked at you before laughing to himself. “Hurry up, I’ll walk you home. It’s really dark out.” He added and your heart fluttered at his gesture. But considering he had his eyes on someone, you knew it was only him being a good guy. 

December

Johnny was stumbling over his words  as he watched you organizing cd’s. The Christmas lights you had strung up in the room lit your face up beautifully and he was finding himself distracted by you as he tried stringing sentences together. “The next song is a bit more relaxed, I hope you enjoy it.” Johnny said into the mic before turning it off and turning the song on. 

He sat back in his chair, just watching you mouth the words to the track playing. You looked especially beautiful to him that day. No makeup, nothing in your hair either, just down and framing your face nicely. You were wearing a big sweater, simply skinny jeans and and ankle boots to raise your height a little. 

Johnny wanted this show tonight to be over. Not because he wanted to leave your side, but because he couldn’t exactly talk to you while he was on the air. He just wanted to get closer to you. 

You looked up from the cd’s at Johnny in the booth. Not expecting him to be looking at you but on his phone, only to lock eyes with him. The sudden eye contact caught him off guard and he looked away instantly and tried to find something to do instead of stare at you. You laughed to yourself at his actions as you watched him drop his phone in panic. 

Johnny bent over to pick it up and cringed to himself. “Johnny, you’re a fucking idiot.” He mumbled to himself and sat back up to finish the show. 

You had finished organizing your shelf and moved yourself to the small couch in the room. “That’s it for tonight everyone. Remember to take care of yourselves on these cold nights and know you are loved. Goodnight.” Johnny’s voice filled the room and it made you smile. Those words that encouraged you much and still did. It was nice to hear. 

Johnny exited the booth and sighed seeing you all cozy on the couch before laying down. His legs dangling over the arm rest and his head in your lap. “Comfortable?” You asked and he nodded, looking up at you with hooded eyes. You looked at his face, admiring his eyes and plush lips, but looked away just as fast. You felt sad for a second, knowing he would be gone next year and you’d have to be on your own. 

“What’s on your mind?” He asked and sat up. Johnny was really close to you, his hand on your arm in comfort. “How am I going to do this without you next year?” You asked and he looked at you confused. “You’re great at this, the radio comes natural to you.” He said and comfortingly drew circles on your arm. “Not what I mean. You are my motivation at this point. You make my day better, Johnny. How am I going to be able to do this?” You said and Johnny felt his heart stop as you looked at him. Your eyes were filled with emotion and worry, then you looked down. 

Johnny moved his hand to your chin, making you look at him gently. “You have nothing to worry about. You’re smart, strong and you can do anything. If anything I’m stressed about what I’m going to do without this show and you next year. I wish I knew you sooner because, well you’ve become a big constant in my life. A constant I don’t want to live without. I see you everyday and you make me happy.” Johnny said and you almost felt like crying. How Johnny could be so sweet to you was beyond you. 

You tried looking away, wanting to hide the way your cheeks burned under his touch and words. Only he held your chin firmly, yet still gentle. Johnny felt a rush of confidence a took a deep breath before leaning in. 

He pressed his lips to yours, catching you off guard but not unpleasant. Johnny’s hand moved from your chin to your cheek and revelled in the way your lips felt soft against his. If your cheeks weren’t hot before, they definitely were now and you couldn’t help but get  a little lost. Your hands moved to his chest, gripping his shirt tightly with balled fists. 

Johnny pulled away for a second and pressed his forehead to yours, but you didn’t want him to stop. You needed him. You hungrily kissed him again and he chuckled against your lips. Pulling you closer, as close as he could with the way you both were sitting, he gave up and settled for pulling you into his lap. You smiled and wrapped your around his neck as his fingers stroked your cheek. His lips lazily moving against yours. 

You adjusted your position once more, pulling away so that you could straddle his waist. He whined in response, the noise surprisng you both and making you smile. “You see what you do to me?” He asked, looking up at you as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You tangled your fingers in his hair and the way he held you made your hips roll over his. The action caught you off gaurd and made a moan leave your own lips.

“How are you the most beautiful woman I have ever seen?” Johnny asked, wanting you to roll your hips again because he revelled in the feeling. You kissed him again, wanting him to stop complimenting you because you felt awkward. Not being used to the praise. 

His tongue slipped into your mouth gently and he pulled you flush against him, his hands accidently slipping under your sweater. He immediately moved his hands again, not wanting to take this somewhere you didn’t want it to go, just in case. You noticed the gesture and your heart fluttered once more. 

You also couldn’t help but notice how soft his hair was, how soft his lips were and how gentle his touches were. Everything made your brain foggy, you were willing to risk it all for him at this point and he felt the same. It had been a long time since a girl made Johnny want to be in a relationship, let alone a few months before he left college. 

He flipped you two over swiftly, your back resting on the couch cushions and your head on the arm rest. “How far do you want to go?” Johnny asked and the question threw you off. “I need you.” You said, sounding nearly out of breath. How needy you sounded really surprised you . “Fuck.” He muttered under his breath and looked you over. How flushed your face was and how swollen your lips were. It was turning him on more than he was expecting it too. 

Johnny’s hand gently moved under your sweater, pulling it off of you slowly and placing it on the floor. He couldn’t help but swallow thickly looking at your nearly bare torso. He moved his face to your neck, kissing the skin gingerly. He didn’t want to leave any marks. He’d save that for another time (if you wanted this to happen again). He wanted this to be light and airy. He wanted this to be soft and loving. Johnny wanted this be memorable and loving. 

His feathery touches made goosebumps cover your body and sighs escape your lips. His mouth moved down, coming to the edge of your bra before reaching behind you and unhooking it. He paused, looking at your face again and taking not of how dark your eyes were. “Clothes on or off, you’re the most beautiful girl I know.” Johnny told you and you covered your face. “Johnny, you’re going to make me cry.” You said and he chuckled. “I’m going to keep complimenting you, regardless. My goal is to make you feel loved.” He said and you looked up at him, eyes filled with happy tears. You managed to keep them in, hoping he wouldn’t notice. 

Your hand moved to his sweater, tugging it off of him. He wasn’t extremely muscled, but he was lean and toned and beautiful to you. Your hand moved down his chest and stomach, stopping at his belt before moving down a little further. You palmed his bulge through his jeans and Johnny let out a sigh of relief. His head falling down as you continued to do so. 

His hand moved to your jeans, unbuttoning them and tugging them down. His actions were a little harsher, slowly starting to be fueled with need. Johnny fingers danced over your panties, causing a little friction. He watched your eyes flutter shut before stopping his slight teasing. He pulled your panties down your legs and rubbed your clit lightly. Relief filled your senses as he finally touched you. You felt so needy. 

Johnny connected your lips again, then slipped a finger into you. He wanted to make sure you were ready for him. It surprised him how wet you were and how badly it felt like you needed him. Your velvity walls tightening around his finger. You moaned against his lips as he picked up the pace. You dug your nails into Johnny’s shoulders as he added another finger. 

“Fuck, Johnny.” Your moans sounded so breathy, Johnny could barely take it anymore. He pulled away and stood up to pull his own jeans and boxers down. You propped yourself up onto your elbows, watching him as he went to his wallet and pulled a condom out. This moment reminded you, Johnny was still a college boy. 

He moved back over your body, hooking his arms under your knees and pulling you further down the couch. “Are you ready?” He asked as he sat inbetween your thighs, his hands rubbing your skin. You nodded, only wanting him at this point. He guided himself towards your entrance, rubbing his tip over your slit slowly. That feeling alone making you even more wet. “Johnny~” You whimpered and he groaned, making the choice to just bottom out straight away. “Fuck.” You said with a gasp, needing a second to adjust to his size. Your hand moved to the back of neck, pulling his face closer to you.

Johnny was doing everything in his power to not move too harshly, wanting to feel you. “Please move.” You whined and Johnny moaned. He leaned down, kissing your lips messily as his hips snapped into yours. His gentle touches slightly less gentle. His need for you taking over. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust into you, making sure to take the time inbetween. He wanted it to last. Your whimpers were soft and he moved his head to rest in the crook of your neck. Johnny picked up the pace even more, his hips snapping into yours at a steady pace. 

He could already feel you tightening around him as your whimpers turned into loud moans. Johnny couldn’t hold back, a few moans leaving his mouth as your nails dragged over his back. “You feel so good.” He moaned out and it was possibly the hottest thing you had ever heard. 

The months you had just listened to him talk, the last thing you expected was to hear him like this. It made the coil in your stomach tighten even more. 

“Fuck Johnny, I’m gonna cum.” You whimpered, your nails digging into his shoulders and pressed his lips into yours as his fingers rubbed over your clit. He wanted you cumming, he wanted you to feel as good as he could. That and he was close to cumming himself. 

A small scream left your mouth as you felt yourself cum. Your toes curling slightly and your grip on Johnny tightening. He moaned loudly, feeling how tight you had clamped down around him. He rutted his hips into you again, stalling as he came himself. You ran your fingers soothingly through his hair as he came, small whimpers leaving his mouth. 

“Oh fuck.” He sighed, his body weight falling onto you. “You okay?” You asked inbetween breaths, your fingers still moving through his hair. “I’m better than okay, but if you keep running your fingers through my hair, I’m going to fall asleep.” He said and pushed himself off of you. You whined at the loss of contact and he rubbed your leg with his hand. You took a deep breath and sat up yourself, your body still slightly shaking. 

“If it wasn’t clear. I really like you.” He said and you felt shy all of a sudden.  You pulled your bra and sweater back on, looking for your panties only for Johnny to hand them to you. “Thanks.” You said and he laughed, getting dressed himself. 

“I really like you too.” You said, looking at him and he smiled. “You’re going to do just fine next year. Anddddddd, if all goes well. I can still be around. But only for you.” He said and you couldn’t help but smile. You pulled his face towards yours and kissed him. 

“So does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” 

April

You sat in the office chair across from Johnny as he closed the radio show for the night. It was quite amazing, the show had gained at least a hundred listeners and it improved Johnny’s mood a lot on the show. You tried to keep quiet as he told a bad joke. He looked at your pained face at the joke and had to hold back his own laugh. 

“Goodnight, everyone.” He said and turned the mic off and the broadcast. You let out your laugh and you both stood up. You started heading for the door and he pulled you back. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asked and you couldn’t help but giggle. He picked you up, putting you on the desk and settled inbetween your legs. 

You were wearing a sundress, the weather having been extremely nice and warm and Johnny loved it. His hands moved over your thighs as he kissed you, before wrapping your legs around his waist. 

June

“I can’t believe today is my last day being a DJ.” Johnny said into the mic and you waited in the record room. You wanted to let him have his final moment and you didn’t want him to see you cry. 

“I had a fun four years doing this. And I have had a lot of beautiful moments in this radio room. I’ve felt lonely, I’ve felt loved and I have felt appreciated in this room. So it’s sad for me to leave. I want to thank everyone who enjoyed listening to me.” You couldn’t help but shed a tear as he talked, yet you quickly wiped it away. 

“I’m leaving you guys in good hands. Next semester, my beautiful girlfriend will be taking over and she is better at this than I am. I know she’ll do great.” Johnny said and you sobbed slightly. You were incredibly nervous for the oncoming school year, without him. But you also knew that he would be there if you needed him. 

“For the last time everyone. Please take care of yourselves, know you are loved and please, have a good night.” Johnny said and the room went silent. You were expecting him to walk out, but after a few minutes, you stood up and entered the booth. 

He was sat at the chair, just leaning back and looking around the room. “Hey princess.” He said, noticing you walk in. He patted his lap for you to sit and you abided, wrapping your arms around him as you did. “Are you okay?” You asked and he nodded, locking eyes with you. “I’m fine. This is just the start to something new in my life. Besides, I’m not really leaving. I can visit you whenever I want.” He said and you smiled, stroking the hairs on the back of his neck. 

“I love you, Mr. Radio DJ.” 

A/N: I wrote this in one go. In one day and now it is 1 a.m as I am posting this. My alarm is going to go off in 4,5 hours. I hope you enjoy and I will spell check tomorrow. 

[prorevenge]

Neighbours refused to be quiet, so I played the long game and made them move out

A few years ago I got hired at a job in a big city with expensive rent. I slept on my brother's couch for a few months while I struggled to find a place, but eventually found someone in an old building who wanted to get out of their rental agreement. The apartment was pretty close to work and in a nice area, so I took it, almost too good to be true...

It didn't take long for me to realize I made a big mistake. The building was old, and the walls were made of plaster. Any sound reverberated like crazy, I could hear people cough and sneeze like they were standing in my place. What's worse, I shared one of these thin walls with my neighbours, who were absolutely fucking insane. They just would not shut up. I would hear a man and woman argue constantly, often until 2 or 3 in the morning. And by arguing I mean literally screaming and shouting and throwing things against the wall. When they weren't arguing they were always just LOUD, shouting and whining at each other like little kids constantly. Pretty much the quintessential toxic, obnoxious couple. And the shit they would argue about was so stupid! I remember hearing an argument about who's turn it was to steal shampoo from the drug store. One time the boyfriend decided to yell "THE BIBLE SAYS WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS" over and over again for some reason. Almost every day it would be something different and uniquely annoying.

The first real incident happened when I was woken up by screaming and banging against my wall at 1am. I did what I usually did (blasted Kenny G through my speakers at the wall until they shut up), but this time it didn't work. The banging got louder so I stopped the music, but then it got worse and sounded like a fight. It was hard to describe, but it sounded like the woman was getting beaten up. At this point I was more concerned than mad so I called my superintendent, who told me to call the police (not the US). The police came, the neighbours told them everything was fine, the police left, it was quiet, I went back to bed.

Literally the next night I am woken up again at 1am by my neighbours having another argument. This time I heard a BOOM, then the woman say "oh my god" in an weird voice, and then banging and what sounds like someone being strangled. The noises were freaky and way more concerning than even last time so I called the police again. The police came, the neighbours told them everything was fine again, the police left again, and it was quiet again, but this time the police called me back and basically told me I was an idiot for wasting their time. They said there was no evidence of any fight and both neighbours denied anything even happened. Even the superintendent said that no one else on the floor complained and intimated that I was starting to become a nuisance. I decided from this point forward I was going to go full Spielberg with video evidence.

The noise was bad for the next 6 months, and I would get woken up at least once a week after midnight by yelling and screaming. I made a few written complaints, a few videos as evidence, and sent them to the property manager. There was enough to serve them an eviction notice and go to the landlord/tenant board, but somehow the property manager fucked up the date for the hearing and it never actually took place. Thankfully the noise stopped anyway (for now...), so I assumed the neighbours finally got the message and would be quiet from now on. I didn't fight for another hearing because the eviction notice gave the neighbours an opportunity to be quiet, which they sort of did.

As an aside, the video evidence I gathered during this time was BEAUTIFUL. I was pleasantly surprised that my phone was very good at picking up their voices. It got to the point where I would get excited when I was woken up in the middle of the night, because I would run out into the hallway and film their door and room number as the noise blasted out and echoed down the hall. I gathered some damning, unambiguous evidence, pure gold, and it was all timestamped at around midnight or 1am. But because the hearing got cancelled I didn't get to present my evidence (at least not yet...)

For a few months, everything was reasonably ok. They were still loud as fuck during the day. and there were a few times after 11pm on weeknights where I went to their door and asked them to keep it down, but other than that things were mostly better, and I was starting to be able to relax in my place for once. Yet again it was too good to be true...

One day around 2:30 in the afternoon I start hearing this weird, high-pitched screeching coming from my neighbours place. And it doesn't stop for hours. I'm sitting on my couch trying to figure out what it is. It sounds like a giant fucking tropical bird moved in next door.

Well it turns out, after all the shit we went through a year ago with the noise complaints and eviction notice, my neighbours decided it would be a good idea to get a dog.

And of course these obnoxious assholes couldn't just get a quiet, normal, well-behaved dog. They had to get a completely untrained, 4 month old, tiny, yappy Pomeranian that was INCAPABLE of being quiet. This thing would yap and screech and bark over and over and over EVERY DAY for HOURS.

While I'm still coming to terms with how miserable my life is about to become, I get a note under my door. On it, my neighbour writes that she just got the dog as an emotional support animal for her mental health, and asks the whole hallway to please try to tolerate the noise.

Fuck that shit. I'd already been living next to and listening to these neighbours scream at each other for over a year. They were confirmed fucking morons; two insane, toxic assholes in a mutually abusive relationship. I knew with CERTAINTY that they weren't capable of taking care of this dog properly and the noise situation would go to complete shit.

And regarding the mental health, I was going through my own troubles during this time (in part due to lack of sleep) and was seeing a therapist. The last year of complaints should have made it clear to anyone that noise was a problem for me, especially getting woken up at night. Of all the things this neighbour could have chosen to help their mental health, they chose the most obnoxious thing possible. They knew getting a loud dog was going to be a problem and they did it anyway. It was time for WAR.

I realized if I wanted this noise to stop, or to be even taken seriously, I needed a mountain of evidence against my neighbours. I researched the evictions process and everything that was required. I checked the forms my superintendent would have to send out for an eviction notice. I read threads on reddit about slumlords and neighbour disputes. It became clear to me the only way to win was to be religiously disciplined both in gathering evidence and refusing to retaliate (no more Kenny G). I became a noise-complaint monk, taking a vow of disciplined log taking, and relying on mantras like "shut the fuck up... shut the fuck up...."

Once I submitted my first written complaint, things got bad. My neighbours flipped out when they realized I was complaining again. I heard stuff like "OF ALL THE APARTMENTS IN --- WE HAVE TO LIVE NEXT TO THIS FUCKING GUY?!" for a few days. Then the loud arguments in the middle of the night started all over again. And one of the neighbours got into the new habit of SLAMMING their chest of drawers against my wall at 2am.

The barking also got much worse. The emotional-support-animal letter said that the barking would get better once the dog was trained, but from what I could hear my neighbours methods of training began and ended with screaming at the dog just like they screamed at each other each day. "NO! BAD DOG!", "BE QUIET!", "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" came through my wall in new and varied combinations every day. And every time an argument started between my neighbours the dog would always join in, even in the middle of the night. The constant level of noise was insane.

For over a year, l logged every instance of yelling, shouting, and barking coming from my neighbours apartment. It didn't matter if it was after 11pm or not at this point, I was trying to demonstrate how I can't get peace at any time of day. And when I say every instance, I mean I had minute-to-minute logs of every loud noise and every word I heard from my neighbours wall. If I was woken up in the middle of the night it went in the log. If I heard the dog bark from 12pm-1pm on February 2nd it went in the log. If I heard someone yell "YOU PEED ON THE FLOOR AGAIN, FUCK!" at the dog it went in the log. Honestly it sucked and made me almost lose my fucking mind, but by the time I was done I had pages and pages of notes

Obviously written logs wouldn't be enough. I already had a decently fat stack of video evidence to demonstrate the true character of my neighbours, but I needed current evidence if there was going to be another hearing. Fuck Spielberg, now I was Coppola in the heart of darkness. I got more videos of screaming and shouting coming out of their door. I got videos of banging and barking against my shared wall. I got videos of screaming, shouting, banging, and barking all at the same time, or in any combination. I had amassed a war-chest of video evidence to be deployed at the next available hearing, but I was getting war-weary

At this point I was like 6 or 8 months into the complaints process and I could barely take it anymore. I was getting woken up like 2 nights a week and would be a zombie at work (I complained about my neighbours at work often). I was finding it harder and harder to keep myself from blasting music, or banging on their wall, or kicking their fucking door down. But I managed to stay strong, and I followed the eviction process like it was my religion. I sent in a second written complaint, then a third which resulted in an eviction notice, which gave the neighbours an opportunity to be quiet. This time they didn't give a fuck, if anything they were louder than ever before. I was looking for other places to move into when I finally get good news from the property manager: there's a hearing date!

There was light at the end of the tunnel, but once the neighbours heard about the hearing date they did everything they could to fuck me up. There were no attempts to stop the barking anymore, it was constant. The screaming matches were back in full force, and when they started yelling and screaming the dog would go nuts! It was just an insane amount of noise.

And the drawers were ridiculous! Honestly I never expected the slamming drawers to be that bad but they easily eclipsed the barking and the shouting. They would SLAM and SLAM and SLAM the drawers over and over again against my wall. And because of the plaster it would BOOM BOOM BOOM and echo through my whole place. These assholes were definitely doing it on purpose.

3 days before the hearing date I go to bed at 9:45pm. At 10pm I'm still not asleep but I'm startled by BOOM BOOM of the drawers, I log it and go back to bed. At 11:30pm I wake up to BOOM BOOM BOOM again, and I'm pissed off. It takes me half an hour but I fall asleep again. Then at 12:45am BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM there it is again! I call my superintendent, tell her what's going on, the super calls them and tells them to stop. I fall back asleep. Then at 1:30am BOOM BOOM BOOM I wake up super fucking angry, it's obvious they're doing this on purpose to piss me off before the hearing and get a reaction out of me. I call the super again, and go back to sleep again. Then at 2:45am BOOM BOOM BOOM I can't take it anymore. I scream "DO IT AGAIN!!!! DO IT AGAIN!!!" I lost it, I couldn't help myself. My discipline broke. My superintendent calls me and tells me my neighbours just said I yelled a death threat through the wall (what the fuck?) and that they're calling the police (WHAT THE FUCK?). Everything just feels fucked now, I can't sleep so I just wait until morning. No police show up and I go to work. I realized I couldn't even stay at my place anymore until this hearing was over, so I went back to my brothers couch for the next 3 days.

Finally the big day arrives. I gather my evidence: Over a year of meticulously logged noise complaints, 6 instances of video evidence (I cherry picked the gold out of 20 good ones), the previous eviction notice the neighbours received, 4 written noise complaints (including the 2 from the previous eviction notice), a letter from my co-worker about poor work performance due to lack of sleep, and even a letter from my therapist about how my neighbours' excessive noise was affecting my mental health.

I got there and met the property manager and superintendent, who were there with the owner of the property management company and a slick looking lawyer. I handed the lawyer all my evidence. I gave him a usb stick with the videos. I even handed over my big bluetooth speaker to make sure the videos were loud enough to hear (laptop speakers suck).

I look over to my neighbours and they are wide-eyed. They look scared! Finally!

We all go into the landlord/tenant board room with everybody. The adjudicator first asks if anyone wants to mediate instead of going through with the hearing. My neighbour's hand immediately shoots up. I say in front of everybody "I don't want to mediate!" but apparently it's not up to me and the lawyer takes me aside.

The lawyer tells me if it goes to mediation, the neighbours and the property management create an agreement (e.g. no more noise at x o'clock), and if that agreement is broken once it results in an immediate eviction. He explains if we go in front of the board instead it's a 50/50 chance they either get evicted or get off completely. Obviously mediation is the better way to go, I know these idiots are already incapable of keeping quiet, so I agree with the lawyer. We go out to find the neighbours and they're nowhere to be found. Turns out they opted for the free legal counsel ( I wonder why) and won't be available until the afternoon.

While waiting I explain to the property manager, owner, and lawyer what happened a few days ago with the slamming drawers all night long. When I made my complaints before no one really took them seriously, but today everyone is very interested in everything I have to say.

The afternoon comes, and I'm excluded from the mediation meeting because it's between the neighbours, the lawyer, and the owner. I can't hear what they're saying but I can hear my neighbours yelling and shouting from inside the room so I know it's not going well for them.

Everyone leaves the room and the lawyer comes up to me. He tells me the mediation failed, the neighbours refuse to change their behaviour and won't accept any terms. The lawyer says they have to go in front of the adjudicator again but by now it's almost the end of the day.

I wait another hour or two and everyone comes out. I see my neighbours leave as the lawyer comes by again and explains. Apparently, after the mediation failed, the property management owner offered my neighbours 2 months rent FREE if they agreed to move out in 2 months. The neighbours agreed, but when they all went in front of the adjudicator the neighbours changed their minds and said no! And apparently a second offer was made, which they said yes to, and then no again, all in front of the adjudicator! They ended up running out of time and the adjudicator cut the hearing short and said it would have to be resolved in a second hearing. I was disappointed, but the lawyer assured me that because of how capricious and insane my neighbours behaved in during the hearing, they would almost certainly be evicted during a second hearing. I was dismayed that it wasn't over, but hopeful the end was coming soon. I also felt vindicated, it was finally clear to everyone that my neighbours were actually insane and I wasn't just making this up.

The next two months weren't as bad as before. I continued my long steady march of logs and videos. But the noise definitely let up, especially the drawers. One day near the end of the second month I started to hear insane barking, it would not stop. It went on for hours and hours and hours. I called the superintendent to complain when they told me it was probably because the neighbours were moving out today. YES! HAHAHA! FINALLY! Apparently she couldn't tell me earlier because of privacy reasons. As they were moving out I blasted 'Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye' on loop, put in some earplugs, and took a 2 hour bath.

My apartment is quiet now and I can finally sleep. It wasn't exactly the satisfying crushing blow I wanted but my discipline paid off and now I can live in peace.

(source) story by (/u/ZapoiBoi)

[toomuchtv95]

Struggling Chapter 2

Characters: Jay Halstead,  Hank Voight, Antonio Dawson

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Eventually)

Word Count: 3k+

Chapter Warnings: Swearing ( I think that’s all)

A/N: I am working on a Damon Salvatore x Reader imagine because I am been re-watching TVD and I forgot how much I love Damon so of course I had to write something. So just keep an eye out for that. I am also working on Chapter 3

Series MasterList

You had a busy week at work, and you haven’t had time to think about what Antonio said about moving on. And unfortunately, you ran out of time to think, today was the 2nd anniversary of Ryan's death. Waking up this morning, you already started to feel like you were going to cry. While taking a shower, you had some time to think about moving on and how to do that. After showering, you went to the flower shop that sat on the corner of your block before heading to the cemetery. As you walked through the cemetery, you carefully stepped over the headstones as you made your way over to his headstone. The gravesite looked untouched like it always does. Ryan had no family that was close by to take care of the site, expect you.

Kneeling you placed the flowers on the ground and cleaned up the grass and leaves. "I know I haven't been around in a while and I'm sorry, but I'm been struggling a little more than usual.” You whispered as tears formed in your eyes causing blurriness. “It’s been two years and I still feel like it was yesterday when I got the news.”

"I still think that you are going to walk through the door and kiss me and tell you to love me, but you're not because you're gone. I'm mad at you for leaving me and I shouldn't because it's not your fault. We were barely married when you left, I wanted a life with you, I wanted kids with you and now that's not happening." Your voice cracked as choked out a sob. "The last two years have been hell and today is even worse, because I came here to tell you that I can't keep thinking you're coming home. I need to move on. You're not coming back, and I have to learn to live with that."

“I know it’s going to be hard, but I need to do it for myself. I need to be happy again because I am tired of being broken and alone.” You wiped your tears just as fresh ones formed. “I’ve read your letter again, and I think your right about letting go and finding someone else.” Taking a deep breath, you wiped the tears again, “last week one night, I spent the night eating take-out and watching a corny TV movie with a guy who cares for me more than a friend, but he would never tell me that because he knows I would just push him away. I think he could be someone to be more than a friend, but I will never know if I keep holding on to you." Taking a deep breath, you stood up and placed a hand on the headstone. "I love you and I always will, but I need to let you go and move on." Leaning down, you kissed the top of the headstone before turning around to see Antonio keeping a fair distance.

Antonio opened his arms as you approached him. You collided into arms and lot out a sob that you couldn’t hold back anymore. “It’s going to be okay," Antonio whispered as he rubbed your back as you wrapped your arms around his waist. “I know that was hard for you.”

You pulled away to wipe the tears, “yeah it was, but I have to move on. He’s not coming back.” Antonio wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of head back towards his car. Originally you weren’t going to go to work but staying at home and sulking around isn't healthy.  You needed to go to work.

Once the two of you were in his car, Antonio’s phone started to ring, which he took the call. You glanced over at him and you could tell by the look on his face that something was wrong. Once the call ended, you turned to look at Antonio, “what is it?” Antonio hesitated which caused you to worry. “Just tell me.”

“Jay’s security team was ambushed.” Jay was working his security job today and apparently while they were doing a deposit the team was ambushed and one of the guys was injured.

The whole car ride to the district you felt tense as you thought about Jay. Since the beginning of the year, you and Jay have gotten closer ever since you saved him when he was kidnapped while working an undercover op. Then when Jay took you home, and brought you food and stayed the night, you have just been feeling closer to him. Once the two of you got to the district, Antonio headed upstairs while you waited in the garage for Jay to show up. You paced the floor as your anxiety rose. You came to a stop when you saw Al walk in with Jay right behind him.

“Jay.” You immediately walked over to Jay and hugged him tightly.

"Y/N, I'm okay," Jay whispered against your hair as he wrapped an arm you. “Any word from Med about Terry?”

“No nothing yet.” The two of you pulled away and headed upstairs. Once the two of you made it upstairs your father looked at both and the two of you headed into this office.

“You are not taking me off this case.” Stood behind Jay as you closed the door. You leaned against the door with your arms crossed. Your father glanced at you then back at Jay.

“That is not your call to make.”

“This is Terry’s blood.” Jay pointed at this sleeve that was covered in blood. “I saw the guys. You need me.” Your father looked at you which you gave him a slight nod. After agreeing to let him stay on the case, he left the room to go clean up, leaving you and your dad alone.

“I know what-” Your father pulled you into a hug which you hugged back without hesitation. “I’m okay. I went to his grave this morning.” You pulled away and sat on the arm of the sofa. "You know the last 2 years, things have been a struggle, but I need to move on and learn to live my life. He’s not coming back, and I have to accept that.”

“Whatever you need to help you through this let me know.” Your dad squeezed your shoulder for comfort.

"Actually, there is one thing that I can think of right now." Your dad hummed in response. "I want to be with Jay on this one. I know you won't understand, but just trust me." Your father nodded his head in agreement as you pushed yourself off the couch and left the office.

“Jay.” You walked into the room where Jay was watching your dad and Antonio finishing up question Brianna Logan, who was Jay’s boss at the marijuana dispenser. “I just heard from Med. Terry didn’t make it. Massive hemorrhaging.” Jay turned to look at you and without saying a word he left the room. After a few moments, the interview was over and you exited the room only to be stopped by Adam, who said that the lab was able to get prints on the gun they found at the scene. You nodded your head and went to find Jay, only to see him and Brianna talking as you rounded the corner.

You couldn't help but hear the last first things exchange between the two. "I can't help but feel responsible for what happens to Terry." There was something about this Brianna woman that you didn’t like. Maybe it’s because she was clearly into Jay. Not that it should bother you. He a single man and he can do what and who he wants.

“You’re not. I am.” You could clearly hear the guilt in Jay’s voice which caused your heart to sink.

“Please tell Terry’s wife that I will take care of all the funeral costs." Brianna reached over and placed a hand on jay's bicep causing your to jealously raise. Okay, why does this bother you so much?

“He was in the marines, so he’ll get a military send off.”

“Hey, Jay we got something off the gun.” You took a step closer causing Brianna to step back. Jay told Brianna to lay low and that they would call her if they needed anything else. Once she left, you and Jay headed back into the bullpen to find the rest of the team.

"Okay, so the lab managed to pull a partial print off the clip inside the gun that was left at the scene. They matched to a guy named Joseph "Joey" Ortiz." Adam taped up the photo on the board as he spoke.

"Ortiz? Yeah, he's a known member of the Insane King crew. They don't sell drugs. Their M.O. is to follow the cartel mules with a large amount of money after big drug deals then they rob them. I had a run-in with them once when I worked a joint case with narcotics a few years ago.” You explained it to the team.

“Okay, put an investigative alert on Ortiz.” You nodded your head as you sat at your desk and picked up the phone.

“Okay, I gotta ask. Are you sleeping with this woman?” You stopped what you were doing and looked at your dad who was standing next to Jay by the board.

“Who Brianna?” Your dad looked at Jay with a stern face. “What does that have to do with the case?”

“All right, one more time. Are you sleeping with her?” You held your breath as you waited for him to answer. You also weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the answer.

“No.” Jay came right out and said it and relief washed over you.

This case has really taken a toll on Jay the last few days but thankfully it was over. Al and Adam went to sweep the dispensary for bugs, and they found a bunch of bugs throughout her office. They were able to get serials numbers off them it turned out that Brianna’s soon-to-be ex-husband hired a PI to get dirt on her. Then after questioning the PI, we found out that he was in on the robbery along with a guy them Brigs but turned out that a crew that worked for Brigs was the one who did it. After the case was solved, Jay went to tell Brianna that he was quitting which made you secretly happy.

“Hey, need a ride home?” You looked up from your paperwork and saw Antonio putting on his coat.

“No, I’m good.” You fiddled with the pen in your hand. “I’m actually grabbing a beer with Jay at Molly’s after he’s done talking with Hank. I decided to tell Jay about Ryan.”

“Yeah? Are you sure?” Antonio sat on the edge of your desk.

“Yeah. It’s time.” You stood up from your chair and tossed the pen on your desk. “Lately, I’ve just been feeling, I guess you can say, closer to Jay and I thought I would feel guilty about it, but I don’t.” Tears built up in your eyes and you had no idea why you wanted to cry.

"Yeah, I've noticed that. This is a sign that you are moving in the right direction. Remember letting go and moving on. I know the last two years have been a struggle for you, but this could be the first step to figuring things out." Antonio placed his hands on your shoulders and rubbed your arms up and down. “So, if telling Jay about Ryan is what you feel is right then do it and then figure things out from there.”

You nodded your head before hugging Antonio. “This is why you’re my best friend.” You pulled away just as Jay exited the office.

“Ready to go? I can really use that drink.” You nodded your head as Antonio left leaving just you and Jay alone.

20mins Later

"Hey, detective." Herrmann leaned forward against the counter with a smile on his face.

"Hey, Herrmann.” You smiled back as you ordered two beers along with two shots. “Thanks.” You grabbed the drinks and moved through the crowd over to were Jay was sitting. "Alright, here we go." You handed Jay his beer along with the shot of whatever Herrmann gave you.

“To Terry.” The two of you raised your shot glasses in the air before chugging them down.

“How your cheek?” You motioned at Jay’s cheek where he got into an altercation with one of the crew members.

“I’ll be fine.” Jay took a swing of his beer. “Are you okay? You seem a little off the last couple of days.” You picked at the label on the beer bottle while trying to figure out a way to tell Jay. You wanted to tell Jay, but your nerves were getting the best of you and you were having second thoughts. “Y/N, whatever is you can tell me.” Jay reached over and grabbed your hand.

“There something I need to tell you and I don’t want you to look at me like I’m this fragile piece of glass.” You looked up at Jay and when his green eyes locked with yours, you instantly felt at ease. “Two years ago, I lost my husband.”

“Your husband?” Jay looked at you with complete shock.

“Yeah. I guess I should start from the beginning.” You took a deep breath then took a sip of your beer. "Well as you know I was in the Army and the reason why the left was because during my last mission I was taken, hostage. It was days until the rest of the team found me. When they did find me, I was in bad shape. I had two broken ribs, a broken wrist, a concussion, and a collapsed lung. I thought I was going to die."

“It was about a 6-month long recovery and it was hell. I did half my recover overseas in German and the other half back home in North Carolina, that was my post was at the time. Then after I left Army I can back home to Chicago. I moved back in with parents until I was able to get back on my feet. Coming back and adjusting to living was hard and it just triggered things. My father sent me to therapy to help with the problems I was dealing with and I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety. Once I got things under control, I joined the police force, and then about 3 years into the job I met my late husband. I was working my first case in Vice and he was working security detail for one of the victims." You stopped to take a sip of your beer than taking a deep breath.

“His name was Lieutenant Commander Ryan Campbell. He was Navy Seal before he decided to join the reserves. We dated for about 2years before he asked me to marry him and of course, I said yes. We were engaged for a little while before he got the call telling him that he was needed for active duty. We deiced to get married at the courthouse because we didn’t want to wait until he came back home because we didn’t know long, he was going to be deployed for. It was 6 months later when the officers showed up at my step and I knew.” Tears started to form in your eyes as you thought back to that day. Two Navy Officers stood at your door and you knew the drill. You knew Ryan wasn’t coming back.

“Hey,” Jay squeezed your hand causing you to come back to reality. “How did it happen?” Jay spoke low almost a whisper.

“IED overseas in Iraq. Getting that news was devastating, but deep down I knew that it could happen. My PTSD was triggered again, and I need time off to deal with everything. I eventually got onto some medicine and seeing someone once a week and it helped but I struggled to deal with the loss of Ryan. I still struggle, but I’m learning to accept that he’s got coming back and I need to move on.” You looked down closing your eyes to stop the tears, but it was too late. Jay removed his hand from yours and walked over to your side of the table and sat next to you and pulled you into a side hug. “Sometimes I feel so broken that I don’t know if I can put myself back together.”

"You are not broken," Jay muttered into your hair. “I don’t think you realize how strong you are. You may feel like your broken, but I don’t think you are.” You pulled away and Jay looked at you with a soft smile. “This doesn't change the way I look you. I don't see you as a fragile piece of glass." Jay reached over and wiped the tears that were rolling down your cheek.

After the two of you finished your drinks, Jay drove you home, walked you to your door, and to be honest you felt great that you were able to tell Jay about everything. You felt a weight lifted off your shoulders. “Thanks for listening tonight. I really need to tell you.”

“Always. If you ever need to talk about anything. Just know that I am here.” You grabbed your keys from your purse, turned to unlock the door, and once you unlocked the door you turned back around. Looking at Jay, a smile formed on your face and something inside of you sparked. Without thinking, you leaned over and connected your lips to his. You could feel Jay was hesitant at your sudden actions and causing you to pull away.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” You whispered as you turned back around and opened the door to head inside your apartment. Jay was about to stop you but decided against it, not wanting to make the situation worse. Once you were inside, you locked your door and leaned your back against before sliding down to the floor. What have you done? Did you misread the signals over the last couple of months? Maybe he found someone who wasn’t broken. For the first time in a long time, you thought you could be happy but you guess you were too late.

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[amoralto]

In your recent post from Gloria Steinem’s “Beatle with a future,” do you know the “she” that Derek Taylor is referring to? Or is that supposed to be apple or the Beatles themselves or something? Who Paul didn’t officially say goodbye to? It seems revealing how John would say “nothing’s going to change Paul.” There’s so much there. Oh and one last thing, who was Ringo saying “always worrying about people” ? Idk why but it’s hard for me to tell who was talking to who here.

Re: the “friend from Philly” Derek Taylor refers to, it’s not specified. Somebody better-versed in fan/groupie/Beatlemania-era dalliance stories may be able to connect the dots, but as far as Steinem describes it she was merely one of a few girls who’d met the band while they were in Philadelphia (September 2nd) and had now followed the band to their engagement in New York (September 20th) holding a charity concert for the United Cerebral Palsy Fund at the Paramount, their last gig on the US tour before returning to England to record Beatles For Sale. Here’s all the appearances she and the other girls from Philadelphia make in Steinem’s article:

It was time for The Beatles’ performance. Everyone crowded into the hall, looking expectantly at the room in which The Beatles had been “incommunicado” and “resting,” the same room into which I had seen Ed Sullivan disappear. Paul McCartney came out first, looking soft-faced and vulnerable as a choirboy. George Harrison and Ringo Starr followed animated and laughing. John Lennon moved quickly behind them, but his face was stoic and aloof behind his dark glasses (the face that inspired a London journalist to write, “It has the fear-neither-God-nor-man quality of a Renaissance painter’s aristocrat”). Behind Lennon came three chic young girls, two brunettes and a blonde, in their late teens or early twenties. McCartney jerked his head toward them as he got in the elevator and told some of his staff members to “look after the birds now, won’t ya.”

[...]

The Beatles’ entourage crowded together in the wings, and I talked to the birds. Were they working for The Beatles or interviewing them? No, they were just friends. “We met The Beatles at a press conference in Philadelphia,” said the pretty blonde, “that’s where we’re from.” Two of them wore wool suits with short culotte skirts. They all looked as if they had stepped from the pages of a teenage fashion magazine, and one carried a met them,” corrected the friendly blonde, “and this time we brought along a friend.”

The girls were simply left to sit in an adjoining room apart from Steinem, John, and Ringo, with both Paul and George in their own rooms presumably sleeping: 

The Beatles were leaving for London early the next morning. That, plus the fact that several Manhattan hotels had turned them down, brought them to the Riviera Motor Inn at Kennedy Airport. The rooms were small, barely big enough for a bureau, twin beds and a television set but they had commandeered a whole floor and there were policemen guarding the halls. Our room was jammed with carts of Scotch and Coca-Cola, trays of sandwiches and two photographers, the young ladies from Philadelphia, a tall girl who had followed The Beatles from San Francisco, several journalists who had been on the Beatle tour, a pretty airline stewardess in a very lowcut dress who was acting as hostess, and, occasionally, Neil Aspinall and Derek Taylor. Two of The Beatles were in other rooms, but Ringo Starr and Lennon were in the one adjoining us with the door locked. It was opened only to admit Aspinall, Taylor, one or two other selected young men and liquor.

And at the end of the article: 

I thanked Lennon, who looked worried, and said, “I hope you’re as true as you seem.” I said goodbye to the three birds who still sat in the adjoining room. Two were stretched out on the bed and a third was applying eye shadow. (“Women,” Lennon had once told a reporter, “should be obscene and not heard.”) They smiled their Mona Lisa smiles.

The “charity” concert itself was a point of consternation for the band (think Embassy-level feelings of exploitation, with the audience made up entirely of high society folk who could afford the exorbitant ticket prices and John saying they were treated “like animals”), and yet another thing in a cumulation of things they’d incurred over the past several months that had the band feeling exhausted and frustrated and even disillusioned with the unrelenting scrutiny and tabloid headlines and general mania surrounding them. Which may be why there’s a sense of distrust and weariness from John and Ringo that comes through in the article. 

Add to that Derek Taylor ultimately resigning from his position as Brian Epstein’s assistant (a position he’d only held for about a year) from the stress and that triggering argument with Brian he’s confiding with Neil Aspinall and John about (which Brian would try to backtrack on, asking him to stay, to no avail), and just the random and curious fact that Bob Dylan and Albert Grossman were there in the room as well (which Steinem only gives a passing mention to; sleepless!John and Bob would later have breakfast together), it would seem Gloria Steinem had (albeit entirely unwittingly) caught the Beatles at a very intriguing point in time. 

(I could go on more about Derek Taylor and how his emotional sensitivity/ego and issues with Brian Epstein (his management, his overprotectiveness of the boys leading to possible misattribution of blame, etc.) seems to prefigure his later issues with Paul and later serve as a bonding agent for him and John in mid-late-1968 (although John would still eventually cry betrayal, in typical gang leader fashion, when John interpreted Derek wanting to keep the Beatles together as “siding” with Paul against John), but I have another earlier ask I have to yet to reply to where that would be more pertinent for me to discuss it.)

Re: “nothing’s going to change Paul”, there’s definitely a lot to deconstruct and pick apart there, even if to the uneducated observer (Steinem) it comes across as just another “desultory” aside to pacify Derek, just as he tries to pacify Derek with the Brian issue (“He’s all right, but he doesn’t understand people having a few laughs, not even me laughs with me wife.”). Insert essay here. 

Re: Ringo, I read it as him making a rueful comment on the situation in general, and therefore referring to both Derek and John. I could be wrong, though! The mileage varies. 

I checked through @amoralto to see if I had posted/transcribed any interviews and such from around this time, and it turns out I have! Larry Kane’s with John and Ringo from Philadelphia (as it happens), with Ringo’s matter-of-factness with the tabloid trap they’re in (“I’ll have it on tape, I’ve been called a queer”) and John and Ringo talking about being the band being alone together (“One gets reliant on the others”). 

Also, I’d be willing to post the entire Steinem article if anybody’s interested! Like I said, it’s an intriguing glimpse into the trauma of living through Beatlemania, something which still gets underplayed in the Beatles historiography - and also something I wish Ron Howard’s film could have focused on, instead of just shallow anecdotes by famous fans who went to see them in concert - and a worthwhile read, even if Steinem sometimes comes across as naive and even judgmental. She also unfortunately skews towards (if not wholly believes in) the popular, nigh-deleterious stereotypes of the Beatles (i.e. John as the Most Talented and Most Intelligent and Most Versatile - indeed, she sought out the Beatles specifically to talk to John in the first place) typical of many features/articles from the time (and which still unfortunately continues to this day). 

[kinkinwrites]

Pink Colored Love ~ Ramuda Amemura [Angst/Fluff]

Warning: idk bro, you tell me, it’s just really sad. Also, it’s after the most recent Drama Track, Fling Posse before the 2nd DRB, so I recommend listening to that first if you haven’t, but you do you boo.

-------------------------------------------------------

He breathed out the smoke from his lungs, the smell of cigarette impregnating his clothes. Out of the window of his apartment, he could see his beloved Shibuya. It was early in the afternoon so the streets were bursting with people, every single one of them living their lives without a care about what those above them could do. With one last puff, he pressed the lighted tip of the thin stick cancer against the ashtray.

It was completely unacceptable for his works to smell bad, so he always had to be careful to keep the smoke outside of his home and he did that by standing beside the wide open windows. Sighing, he used the remaining of his strength to close said window and move to the couch, kicking his feet on top of the coffee table. His entire body felt numb from the fight against himself, damn it, Chou-ku had managed to create subjects who were way stronger than he could ever be. They didn't have a single thread of humanity, unlike him they were perfect machines. 

A mix of guilt and something less bitter but more painful filled his chest. He couldn't put a name to it, that sensation, that feeling that had awoken inside of him the second that stupid duo stepped in to help, the moment Gentaro called him his friend. Ramuda's eyes fluttered closed. His delicate hands reached inside of his pockets to retrieve and unwrap one of the various lollipops Dice had found inside the jackets of the clones. The other clones, his brain didn't fail to remind him. He was no better than them… Actually, he was the failed experiment.

He had always hated it in silence. His cute face, his small and skinny body. He was a twenty-four year old man trapped inside the body of a child. It didn't matter how many women he fucked, he never came to terms with how disgusting it was every time he stood in front of the mirror. He wasn't a child for God's sake. Why couldn't he be like Samatoki? Or Ichiro? Or… God damn, he would settle for someone like Dice! And that child-like attitude he had to keep to make everything work like they needed him to… 

His blue eyes opened. And although he couldn't see himself, he knew their reflection showed how all he was could fall to pieces at any moment. Bringing an arm up to his face to choke the sobs that threatened to fall out of his lips, he used his free hand to pick up his phone. Well, the phone Gentaro so gently gave him after he smashed his own. It wasn't an issue really, he knew this number by heart and he needed it now.

You continued to climb the stairs that lead to the top designer's apartment. Were all the other floors sold when he came or was it his Napoleonic complex? Anyways, you were out of breath as you quickly jogged the last dozen steps. Ramuda Amemura was one of your frequent clients and although you weren't exactly fond of him when he wanted to play the idiot, he could afford your fees and then some. However, something felt terribly wrong as you picked up the phone, even though it wasn't unusual for him to call you out of the blue, he didn't use his usual playful tone and when he tried to call you "big sis" it felt off, like he was tired of playing pretend.

In your line of work it was part of your daily routine to deal with broken men and women that looked desperately for leftovers. Leftovers of whatever love they could get. But it sure wasn't something you had ever expected Ramuda to do. He already owned the hearts of multiple ladies with cleaner resumes than yours. You knocked twice instead of ringing the bell. "Come in." 

You gulped at the sound of his deep voice but decided to enter anyway. Pieces of fabric thrown everywhere, cigarette butts filling the multiple ashtrays scattered around the room, candy wrappers on the floor… what on Earth had happened to him? People could argue that you shouldn't care and that with the filthy job you had maybe it'd be a better use of your time to worry about yourself, but you had left society expectations behind long ago. In this fucked up world even someone like the pink haired man, who was lying on the sofa, could go up in flames and become nothing but dust in the blink of an eye.

He hadn't even bothered to look up at you. Head thrown back onto the backrest, both arms covering his face, the end of a lollipop stick sticking out of his closed lips. You took your sweet time taking off your jacket and shoes, leaving everything by the door before tiptoeing around the small pieces of plastic paper that covered every inch of the normally tidy apartment. Although you didn't bring it up to your conscience, you kept note of the unusual deep breaths Ramuda took, and the way his whole body trembled when he exhaled. 

"Can you prepare a bath for me, please?" His voice albeit shaky was clear enough for you to make sure you hadn't misheard. He was asking for it, not ordering you around. Yes, sir, you could. Making your way around the sofa to reach the bathroom door, you made a strategic stop behind him. Both your hands reached down to his arms, slowly moving them down his face. To your surprise he didn't offer any resistance which, to be honest, only fueled your theory of    something being wrong with him. You had never seen the short male look this tired. 

As soon as the idea came to life in your mind, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his forehead in a soft loving kiss. "I'll get the bath ready, you can relax here Mr. Amemura." His body seemed to stop shaking for a moment as a smile you couldn’t see creeped up his lips. “Don’t call me that.” But he liked it. You could hear the tension leaving him.

Warm, not hot. You swatted your hand slowly inside the half filled bathtub to check the temperature once again before closing the tap, the water tainted a soft pink. Without taking a moment to dry your hands, you stripped off your clothes and covered your naked body with one of the multiple satin bathrobes Ramuda kept in the bathroom.

When he heard you were done preparing his bath, the young man stood up, taking a moment to stretch his sore body before dragging his tired self next to you. He looked up at you for a moment trying to find a reason why it was your face, the one that came to mind when the world spinned out of control. At the end of the day you were just another girl on his bed… even more, he paid for you to be here. Why you, then?

Like almost everyone else, you were taller than him but he didn’t mind it. You were pretty but not like the models that tried on his works and posed for the cameras, you were attractive in a different way. He could recite by heart every single detail about your body yet he never got bored of it. You were a professional, he reminded himself, of course it was part of your duties to keep him hooked. Still, he caressed your cheek with the back of his hands, letting his fingers trail down to your chin.

Maybe it was stupid of him, maybe he should transfer the yen and tell you to go, maybe he should resort to the usual service, to tie you down and have his way but… that sweet bitterness he felt stopped him. You saw his eyes grow teary and tired and just a little bit hopeless. Your hands trembled but your skilful fingers worked through his clothes, taking off his blue coat, putting aside his white shirt and helping him with his black pants and underwear. As you straightened up after picking up his bottoms from the floor, you felt his arms around your waist. 

He didn’t want you to see, not yet. Ramuda’s bright eyes were closed as he buried his head in the space where your collarbones met, inhaling the sweet scent of your perfume mixed with the rose smell that came from the tub. Almost without realizing it, you found yourself threading through his soft pink locks. You were almost afraid of talking, of moving, of breathing in any way that could finally shatter what was left of him.

“Close your eyes for me?” The barely audible whisper made your heart ache but you obeyed nonetheless. He slowly raised up his head, making sure you weren’t looking and only then letting go of you. His hands made quick work of the bathrobe and tugged gently at your wrist, guiding you in the direction of the tub, making its way to your waist as he helped you sit down in the water. “Please, keep them closed.” He asked- no, begged you. He didn’t want you to see, he couldn’t bear to let you see a body that wasn’t that of a man.

He took a moment to admire the scene before his eyes and it took all of him not to break down in tears. You looked so calm, so serene, so… beautiful. The water pooling around your body, your head resting against the wall, your hair slowly getting wet from the dampness in the air around you. Maybe this was the reason he kept on calling your number, not minding how much money he had to throw away. Maybe it was the fact that you didn’t see him as an ex-member of The Dirty Dwag, or the leader of Fling Posse, or even a fashion designer. No, you only saw a man. You saw past his walls, you saw the broken man inside cause maybe, just maybe, you were broken too. 

You rejoiced in the comfort of the bath for a moment, when you felt him enter the tub as well. His breath hitched, as if the simple effort of keeping his balance was too much for him but without receiving his orders, you kept still. You didn’t want to do anything that could potentially hurt him. But why in the world did you care about him? Tears stung your closed eyes at the feeling of him slowly resting his back on your chest, the back of his head finding the perfect spot on your shoulder. He moved your hands towards his torso, your brain picking up fast enough on it and holding him between your arms, a long sigh escaping his lips to be followed by the almost imperceptible trembling of his entire body as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“(Y/N)?” He muttered, between quiet sobs. You hummed in response, your heart breaking at the loss of his playful tone. There weren’t many things Ramuda was truly scared of, probably part of how he was programmed to be, and probably this one fear was the failure in his coding. The terrified faces of Gentaro and Dice filled his thoughts again, the fear they felt not by being in danger but by the possibility of losing him. 

As if he was worth the sacrifice.

He was nothing but a weapon. And useless weapons are supposed to be disposed of. A whimper crept unbidden out of his throat, making you spill the tears you were trying to keep at bay. In his pain, the real Ramuda had stepped out of his persona. He shifted his position so he could hug you as well, holding onto you like you were the only thing that kept him in this world. And for him, you were. He pressed an innocent kiss to each one of your cheeks, and then to each one of your eyelids, a sign you took to open your eyes. “(Y/N)...” He repeated.

He had accepted those feelings in his chest long ago but refused to put a name to them, he wasn’t supposed to feel them in the first place and name them would make them real. But when push came to shove, he wasn’t truly scared of dying. And he was certain that was also the case for everyone else. No one could stop death and therefore there was no point in fearing it, what feared was losing it all. Losing the world, losing his newfound emotions before having the chance to truly feel them all. His fear wasn’t dying, it was never getting the chance to live.

His turquoise orbs fluttered shut as his thin lips pressed a tender kiss to yours. Contrary to what you usually expected his touch was soft, like you were an illusion that could vanish in front of his eyes. Warmth filled your chest and this side of him. If only… no, it was impossible, he was just a client and- Ramuda interrupted your train of thought by licking your bottom lip oh-so-gently, just a touch of the tip of his tongue. His small but sure voice coming right after.

“Please… love me.”

[skyflyinginaction]

Shinhiro Aragaki Transulations from the Persona 3 Portable Fanbook

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[handwritten title at top] Gaki-san Cafeteria

Profile Name: Shinjiro Aragaki Sex: Male Birthday: 1991/8/11 [This profile uses year/month/day format.] Blood type: A Group: Gekkoukan Academy Upper Class Year 3 Class C (Suspended) Club: Unaffiliated

Ugh...  Me? Having a blog? So lame... Still, everyone's doing it, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Dunno what's with the goofy title. I'm just gonna write whatever I want. So uh, maybe gimme some ideas for posts?

Well... Might as well pass the time while I'm here. Anyway... enjoy?

Favorite Sites: [banners] A Dog's Heart [in snail] Sea slug [to right] Umiushi Family Cooking [white text, bottom right] Official Site

[large white text below blog page] I'm keeping my eyes peeled. Because there's an unimaginable way back...

[main body]

Aragaki, the lone wolf who sticks out like a sore thumb at nightly meetings, is from the same orphanage as Sanada. Three years ago, Aragaki was a member of the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad, where Sanada awakened the power of Persona within him. However, he wasn't able to fully control his powers. One day, a horrible accident occurred and a number of people were driven mad. Aragaki's Persona went berserk and snatched away the life of an innocent bystander. Despondent, Aragaki dropped out of school and began aimlessly roaming the streets at night. In order to restrain his Persona ability, whenever Aragaki is faced with danger, he takes a suppressant drug - although it has its side effects. Aragaki only returned to the SEES to bear his past deeds. Aragaki gave his life as a final apology to those tied to the past and unable to move forward, saying: "I'm the only one who deserves to rot in hell."

[at bottom:]

Shinjiro Aragaki

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Like A Whole Nother World

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/3 (Thu) 23:18

People are taking my return to the SEES really nicely... What the hell happened. Back when it was just me and Aki and Kirijo, the lounge felt way too big... But with all the new members, it's stuffed. Girls, a little kid, and even a dog... Some real variety in this lineup. Did Aki and Kirijo just get swept up in all that?

And on top of that, they're all treating me real good, even though they barely know me. The 2nd years think I bailed their asses out at the meeting place, when really I was just chasing off some pests. Either way, they're being real nice to me.

I don't bother with school or club activities or whatever, so I can focus all my energy on battle. Hit me up whenever you're heading off to Tartarus. I mean, that's why I came back here in the first place.

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/4 (Fri) 01:23 JUN☆P-

Never gonna forget the hero at the meeting spot, dude. You totally bailed us out. With Aragaki-san on our side, we're like a hundred-man army!

2009/9/4 (Fri) 18:51 Yukaricchi♥

So you helped found the club, Aragaki-senpai... Thank you so much for saving us. I think you might actually be a really good guy, deep down...?

2009/9/4 (Fri) 21:00 Aigis

Koromaru-san reports that you often give him treats. It seems you two have become fast friends. Aragaki-san, you are rather reserved.

2009/9/4 (Fri) 23:06 Gaki

Oh come on, are you guys really kicking things off with a bunch of embarrassing comments? Hundred-man army, good guy... Don't just make stuff up about me. Ugh, I dunno how to deal with this.

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Boy's & Girl's Event

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Escapade

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/6 (Sun) 21:55

Under the full moon, a Shadow appeared, as promised. I hang out at Escapade plenty, but this time everyone on the floor was complaining about the power being on the fritz. I guess that was an omen or something that a Shadow was about to appear. Can't let things like that slip you by.

But man, there were some real annoying tagalongs last night. Junpei thought he was gonna party his ass off, the poor guy. That chick from Strega was totally stringing him along, but Junpei still managed to be worried about her. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but pure-hearted guys like him are the ones that fall for that kind of thing.

But still, the chick's Persona was really something... Might be worth worrying about. I think I'll pop my head into the hospital too.

[screenshot:]

Junpei Iori

Hey, uh... I just wanna know one thing... Was that really all just an act?

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/6 (Sun) 22:23 Yukaricchi♥

I mean, Junpei's so unsubtle about things like this... I bet he's going to visit at the hospital again today. Maybe if Junpei keeps talking to her, Chidori-san will start to open her heart... Or maybe I'm naive for even thinking that?  

Boy's & Girl's Event

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Passing the Persona Torch

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/15 (Tue) 22:36

Man, you guys are a real pain. Though I guess I can't be so quick to judge if Koro-chan hangs with you...

⬤ Questions From Persona Users ⬤

1. How did it feel when your Persona awakened?

I don't remember anything from back then...

2. What did you think when you saw your Persona?

Don't really care, that's just how he looks. He's Aki's Persona's brother. I mean, me and Aki go way back. You couldn't separate us even if you tried.

3. What's your favorite attacking strategy?

I'm not a big fan of whittling enemies down bit by bit. Better to give 'em one big hit and knock 'em dead, all in one go.

4. Any Shadows you have trouble with?

I don't got any weak points. I mean, if your Persona is weak, that just means your heart is weak.

5. What do you want to do when we're done fighting?

Hell if I know. I just want to take responsibility for what I've done. I think I'm just about there. After that... Aki, it's your turn.

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (1)

2009/9/15 (Wed) 19:47 Aki

So it's my turn... Got it. Shinji, it may very well be because of my influence that the power of Persona was awakened within you...

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Boys & Girl's Event

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What Are You Weirdos, a Cosplay Group?

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/16 (Wed) 22:58

Come on... I am not gonna participate in your little cosplay thing. The bus stop was one thing, but this time you　want me to wear a tailcoat? What? Is that a butler costume? Like I'm gonna play some servant role.

Oh, and when we're going off to Tartarus, don't expect me to act like we're going on a picnic, or whatever. When a Shadow pops out, I want to look like a grown-up warrior. We didn't get this far by being stylish.

I mean, if you're fighting to win, then I'll quit whining. Just don't mess around too much. And don't forget that lives are on the line.

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/17 (Thu) 19:48 Yukaricchi♥

Please don't call us all "weirdos"! Our leader is the one who's into dressing up. I'm a victim too.

2009/9/17 (Thu) 22:39 JUN☆P-

That's the first time I've seen you hatless, Aragaki-san. ...And your head looks totally normal. So disappointing...

2009/9/17 (Fri) 19:29 Aki

I've never brought this up, but... Junpei, what do YOU look like with your hat off? I mean, even when you went swimming at the beach, you refused to take it off.

2009/9/17 (Fri) 21:46 Gaki

What kind of weird ideas are you having about people's heads... Hey Aki, meet me at the strategy room for a tactical debriefing on stealing Junpei's hat.

[right column] Boy's & Girl's Event Public Post

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Haven't Seen a Movie In Ages

Category: Posts 2009/9/23 (Wed) 22:26

Man, I haven't been to the movies in ages. It's a lot nicer to go on your own, but... Well, if you're inviting me, you must be kind of a weirdo. I guess I don't mind coming along though, kills some time.

But like, did you pick that movie on purpose? "Woof-Meow Kingdom"... We were surrounded by family, made me weirdly sweaty. And the climactic scene where they got dragged in the river... That was... Well, whatever...

Right, I need to give Koro-chan the special dog food and assorted bones I got on the way home. The leash we use on walks is filthy, so maybe I should get a new one, too... Oh, and I'm going to give him a bath later tonight. Shoot, I forgot to get a massage brush...

Anyway, do you think Koro-chan's good at doggy paddling? Never know when something bad might happen around water...

[screenshot:]

> Somehow, Aragaki's eyes seem red...

COMMENT Comments (3) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/24 (Thu) 10:00 Aigis

Koromaru-san is profoundly moved by your exceptional treatment of him, Aragaki-san.

2009/9/24 (Thu) 19:13 Fuu＊ka

Aragaki-senpai, you're a real animal lover, aren't you? Nobody who likes animals is a bad person, or so they say. I'll have to cook up something nice for Koro-chan too!

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Garlic ・　Olive Oil ・ Pepperoncini

Paella

Family Cooking

Airing Weekly, Sunday 7 PM SMATV Network Kismet Publishing

September edition of the textbook now on sale. If not at your local bookstore, go here → to order online.

[button:] I Want It!

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Evening Walk

Category: Posts 2009/9/26 (Sat) 23:14

You guys keep going off about how taking a walk at night soothes the soul, and I kinda have to agree. I used to kill time at night by hanging out in back alleys or clubs, but I guess it's not so bad doing something more healthy with my evenings. And this is so weird, but taking a nice walk makes me want to make dinner for Koro-chan.

It's fall and everything's being harvested, which makes it the season for eating. You guys need to remember to eat up and stay healthy. Or else you're gonna end up bedridden, like our leader was. What would you even do if a shadow popped out then? Well, I guess everything's going good on that front, so it's fine for now. Just remember to get a nice square meal in every day.

[screenshot]

Shinjiro Aragaki

You hungry? I'll fix you something when we get home.

Girl's Event Public Post

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The Trick to Cooking

Category: Cooking 2009/9/27 (Sun) 23:47

Fall's the season for eating, but I don't think that fancy kitchen we have is getting any use. The fridge is full of sports drinks and milk, the cupboards are crammed with protein shakes and cup noodles and junk food... It's messed up. Do you people seriously never cook? We didn't even have a good set of utensils, so I brought some in. Yamagishi's the only one who seems excited about cooking, but she doesn't have the basics down yet. Don't get me wrong, enthusiasm's great, but...

Well, if you've heard someone say that cooking is an act of love, it probably came from someone who's mastered their basics. Doesn't matter how much love you pour into your cooking, if you mess up some fundamental part, it's not gonna taste good. A super common mistake beginners make is ignoring what the recipe says and improvising instead. Get your basics down pat, then you can switch things up. Remember, you don't gotta rush it. Doesn't matter what you're doing, taking it one step at a time is key.

COMMENT Comments (2) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/28 (Mon) 18:51 Fuu＊ka

Aragaki-senpai, thank you... You put it pretty bluntly, but you're trying to help, aren't you? I'll start working my way up with simple things like onigiri. If you'd like, feel free to come sample my work?

2009/9/28 (Mon) 19:52 Mitsuru

Aragaki, I'm rather surprised at how good you are at cooking. I wouldn't say you surpass my family's professional chef, but your food was indeed exquisite. Perhaps eating together with everyone isn't so bad, every once in a while.

[right column]

Girl's Event

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Making Things Right

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/10/3 (Sat) 02:45

[screenshot]

Shinjiro Aragaki

...They're in your hands now. I believe in you.

[post body]

So tomorrow's the long-awaited full moon, huh. And you know another huge Shadow's gonna pop out. But I never thought the full moon would fall on tomorrow's date, of all days... I can't bring myself to call it a coincidence.

It's not like I think I won't be coming back, but with what I have in the palm of my hand... Well, I can't tell if it's a coincidence or a cruel prank. And the whole time I sit here agonizing about it, the pocketwatch in my palm keeps on ticking. If I had to name the one thing I can never change, it'd be my past self. Who's bound by their past now? It's not just me... So, the only thing left for me to do is to make things right. Because no matter what I choose, I don't got much time left...

I'm not gonna write anything more here, I promise. You don't have to forgive me for my selfishness. And no matter what happens, don't you dare cry...

COMMENT Comments (5) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/10/7 (Wed) 18:36 Fuu＊ka

Aragaki-senpai, they said you wouldn't wake up... When I first read this post, I didn't get it at all, but... Looking back, I think you knew what you were about to do...

2009/10/7 (Wed) 20:28 Mitsuru

Of course I was aware of the situation between Aragaki and Amada. It was a failing on my part that it came to this. From hereafter, the Kirijo family will dedicate all available resources to his medical care. Perhaps Aragaki's strong spirit will grant us a sliver of hope...

2009/10/8 (Thu) 01:36 JUN☆P-

I know you were ready to give your life in this battle, but... Now that it's actually happened, it hurts like hell... Aragaki-san, please wake up...

2009/10/8 (Thu) 20:38 Aki

When I thought Shinji was all but gone, he whispered, "This is what I wanted." While some may dismiss his way of making things right, I would not count myself among them. Everyone, we need to face forward!

2009/10/9 (Fri) 18:46 Amadaman

I've decided to keep fighting here. Until Aragaki-san returns, I will protect his place.

[bubble at top left]

If You Get Into A Relationship...

Social links with Aragaki don't turn romantic until you max out your S. Link rank with him. But once you do get to max, if you call him one more time, you can have the protagonist confess to him. After a short period of heated questioning, you can enter Aragaki's room. Acting much unlike the Aragaki you've seen so far, he will embrace the protagonist and make an unexpectedly bold move. While it's quite the mushy event, if you do get in a relationship, he'll actually be quite assertive. By the way, the protagonist confesses to him in the dorm lounge. If you think about it, Yukari and Junpei and all the other members would be right next to them the whole time...

[screenshot:]

Shinjiro Aragaki

You're uh... not married, so don't get this wrong, but...

[bubbles at top right]

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thur Fri Sat Break

[center of circle:] Shinjiro Aragaki

[by tarot card:] Moon

[spiky bubble at bottom:] Shinjiro Aragaki

[to left of portrait, beneath "Persona capable to summon once Moon's commu rank reaches the max:]

Sandalphon, the Angel That Conveys Prayers

[tag labeled 27]

From the Iwatodoi Dormitory Lounge ......Edition 27

[junpei:] Man, Aragaki-san's cooking is the best. [koro:] Woof!! [aegis:] Koromaru-san says he enjoys it too. [aragaki:] H, hey. You guys suck at eating balanced meals. Try to take care of yourselves. [mitsuru:] I agree completely. Akihiko could stand to eat something aside from gyudon. [Rice with beef and vegetables.] [sanada:] I, I eat more than just gyudon! I get plenty of protein shakes in too!

[next column] [mitsuru:] Ugh... You're giving me a headache. [junpei:] Gyudon and protein shakes and nothing else... That's uh, really... [aragaki:] Don't act like you're any different. You basically live off cup ramen. Balance your diet. [junpei:] Uh, well... I uh, how do I put this, just like, think it's good... [fuuka:] Okay, I'll keep balance in mind and cook something up! [aragaki] How about you focus on learning how to cook, first. ...Although, you can go ahead and start practicing.

[vertical line of text in center:]

Brotherly Lines

[column on right]

S. Link Rank 3 Female Protagonist

Look at the balance in these meals... Do you guys live off this...?

S. Link Rank 4 Female Protagonist

...You're not going to leave those vegetables on your plate, are you?

S. Link Rank 7 Female Protagonist

Get some good sleep. ...'Night.

S. Link Rank 9 Female Protagonist

Feels like I got a place to come home to.

S. Link MAX Female Protagonist

Now that you're here, I don't have a care in the world...

[screenshot to left:] Shinjiro Aragaki

Does everyone here eat like crap...?

[block labeled Girl's Side] Like An Older Brother

Shinjiro Aragaki always makes sure his fellow club members make it home safe. While he comes off as rather blunt, he's actually deeply worried about everyone's unhealthy eating habits. Following the protagonist's advice, he throws a party. While putting everything together for the party, he teaches Fuuka (who is hopeless at cooking) how to cook. Drawn by the smell, their dormmates gather, and the lounge springs to life. While everyone enjoys the meal, Aragaki steps out for a bit, and asks the protagonist for a private chat. Then, gazing at the protagonist with a gentle smile, he says, "I'm leaving Sanada and everyone else in your hands."

[screenshot to right:]

Aegis

Koromaru-san is distraught.

[caption below screenshot:] Even Koromaru-san can tell how bad Fuuka's cooking is. But with Aragaki teaching her, she'll be able to make delicious food someday.

TRANSULATIONS NOT MINE THEY ALL BELONG TO THE LOVELY (https://kasael.tumblr.com) ALL CREDIT OF THIS ENTIRE TRANSULATION BELONGS TO THEM NOT ME DON’T REBLOG WITHOUT CREDITING THEM FIRST.