#last version is basically her prom dress as her last dress in the show

[twi-replies]

took a small break to play around with making my twi in EQ style and did some slight redesigns!

[winderlylandchime]

Also my brother read your answers to his questions so I’m sending you his response and at this point I am putting in an application to be a stenographer since he uses me as one.

-You’re like a Tattoo and the clothes sharing fics are also my favorites. Well this new one might actually be my favorite and then these two as well. But that’s because older Brian? Sick. Nonbinary Gus? Fucking awesome. Older Justin? Love it.

-I fucking loved the first chapter too! Tell her that it was so cool to see Brian as a dad to an older Gus. All affectionate and cute and shit. But i also liked it cause you get the vibe from it that you can tell that Gus helped make Brian even better than he was. It makes sense in my head but i fucked with that big time. Wait hold up. So she basically sent a voice memo like me to someone about their awesome idea? I do that too! But that’s actually really fucking cool. Every time someone talks about when they got their cool idea’s it’s either shower, driving or while sleeping.

-Tell her thank you for the new song suggestions. I fucking love these two songs. (He immediately added them on his playlist) that second song really is a Brian song! Maybe I’ll have to make some exceptions for my Bri Bri playlist because this one should be on it.

-he also saw that the fics he was readin were written by the same person/your friend and he looked at me and went ‘same fucking person?! Tell them they fucking rock! That last fic they just finished had me giggling like a fucking dumbass! I was laying on the bed, kicking my feet like an idiot when I saw a new update came through’

And he was checking your blog and saw your WIP asks and he absolutely lost his shit. I didn’t even know about this so he for once showed me something. And yes, he felt superior. So this next part is about that:

-A DRAG QUEEN FIC?! JUSTIN AS A DRAG QUEEN?! Ooohhh shit, (our uncles name) would fucking love that! (For context: our uncle is a retired drag queen who met his hubby and then his hubby would help make him dresses.) I need her to write that whenever the fuck she can.

-wait fuck, i vibe with the teacher student idea. But like maybe a tutor Brian who used to teach at the college that Justin is at now instead or something like that. I mean Brian was obsessed with Justin having a good education and studying. HE EVEN HELPED HIM STUDY! I support this idea 1000% and about 900% of the reason is because Brian pushing for Justin’s education was hot. I believe in her to figure it out and make it good if she does it.

-if she does a prom fic from Brian’s point of view, i might have to call off work like I did for Iron Man. That shit would fucking hurt like a motherfucker.

So that was all he had to say. Because after that he just walked away while saying to himself ‘prom episode from Brian’s point of view..fuck man, I might not be strong enough for that’

Hey brother anon! You know you can make your own tumblr account (they’re free!) and contact me yourself. Your poor sister isn’t your secretary. <3

- I’m glad you like the older versions! Brian will always be beautiful but he won’t always be young.

- It wasn’t a voice memo, it was voice to text into my docs which was… wild. First off. Why is the default spelling Bryan? And secondly all the um and ahs get picked up. Finally, the spelling of Kinnetik was a mess. I should have used a voice memo. That would have been easier.

- The second song was on a mix my now partner made for me when we were in our “do you like me like I like you” era. Literally every song on that mix was that obvious. They were also in their “I aim to be like Brian Kinney” era too. Because they had loved before and gotten their heart broken. So the song makes me think of both Brian and when they were all “no apologies, no regrets, monogamy is for breeders, never going to get married.”

- I’m glad you liked the WIP ideas! The drag queen idea came to me while I was listening to Randy’s podcast and learned he’s a drag race fan. As a drag race fan myself I couldn’t sleep on that knowledge. But this was when I was writing Tattoo. And then Fireflies seemed like an easier fic to write. Because Justin is going to go on all stars in the fic and you know I need to get those details right. All the challenges, the queens who will be there. It’s kind of going to be a crossover fic so that feels like a monumental undertaking. But I think I want to do it!

- the student teacher fic idea did come from conversations in fandom here on tumblr about yes the importance Brian places on education including and especially Justin’s. Education (imo) is where Brian and Michael’s paths really diverged and you can see how Brian going to college (maybe grad school too) changed his life from growing up working class to being the guy who has money and nice things and importantly freedom. We can dive into Jack asking Brian for handouts another time.

- so it’s not the prom from Brian’s pov, but 220. The last episode of season 2… when Justin chooses Ethan. You still might need to take the day off.

- don’t give me ideas like prom from Brian’s pov. That awakens something in me. Also an excuse to rewatch prom.

Brother anon, I have two assignments for you:

1. Start an ao3 account. I have an invite if you need one. There are so many fics out there for every fandom. Including ofc qaf.

2. Start a tumblr account. You’re going home and you can’t rely on your sister to keep us updated. There are some pretty gifs here for you to reblog and scream your opinions in the tags. I think people even like iron man here too.

[monstermaster13]

Forgotten Werecreatures Bios 2.

- Osmina: An anthro styled werepenguin. Osmina's story is a tragic one...her parents never loved her due to how grotesque they thought she was and left her to nearly drown if it wasn't for her were-penguin abilities, she would have drowned. She wants to be loved and respected, hence why she likes hanging out with members of the council sometimes in hopes of running for office, she is a mixture of grotesque and adorable, even when she has weird black ooze dripping from her mouth. Although make one mocking comment about her looks and she will say to you...'still could be worse, my nose could be gushing blood.' Which she demonstrates by showing off just how sharp those chompers are. She's not an animal, she is a human being...actually she's both.

- Donald: Don or 'Donald' is an anthro styled Werelion politician who claims to be unafraid of anything, but actually IS a coward. In the sense that he doesn't like being viewed as such by others so he acts tough and brave to make up for it. Even rodents scare him. He is modelled on and based on Donald Trump.

- Kirsten: A horror loving anthro were-cat, tabby variant.

- Janet: Michael's sister, a female anthro were-panther who got the 'Thriller' side in her from her brother, she is a version of Janet Jackson.

- Damon: An anthro weredog with half demon traits who often gets mistaken for Puro from Changed and hates it when crazed Changed fans follow him around.

- Bethany: An anthro styled were-beast, as in Disney's version of the Beast, who may be odd but has a warm personality and is kind...is made to be a nod to Belle due to her interest in reading and her prom dress looking exactly like Belle's signature yellow gown from the ballroom scene. She tends to lash out a few times due to her anger but she doesn't mean to be like that.

- Ryna: An anthro styled weredog who used to be Julliana's creepy ex-lover with an obsession for Homestuck, especially for Jade Harley..basically she got tired of him going on and on about how he wanted to be her and also she was tired of him picking on others for being 'weird'so she cursed him to be a female weredog like her.

- Sahara: A seductive anthro were-snake, it's implied she's part side-winder.

- Michelle: A fiery anthro werekoopa who is a bad girl/rocker type, she is Bowsette inspired or rather an anthro-ish version of her with red hair, horns, a shell, hypnotic blue eyes, fangs and slightly longer than normal fingernails.

- Helena: An anthro styled werehorse who is similar to Applejack personality-wise.

- Jerry: Jerome 'Jerry' Christmas is an anthro styled weregrinch who actually does enjoy the Christmas season, it's just he gets left out of most fesitivites due to his little problem. He is modelled on Jim Carrey and his last name is a nod to Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber.

[the-gay-cryptid]

Join me while I obsessed over the 1976 version of Carrie all over again

I hate the gratuitous shots of naked highschool girls, but hey, it's in line with King's gratuitous descriptions of every female characters breasts. Seriously though, the opening of this movie looks like porn

Also the way Carrie showers is kinda gross. I don't want to watch a teenager fondling herself making O faces.

This is my favorite version of the movie but fuck that opening is gross

I can't remember the name of the actress who plays Carrie in this, but she is so perfect. I know in the book she's described as being heavier set, which I wish a movie adaptation would include, but I think the girl who plays her in this absolutely nails Carrie’s sort of wide eyed fear/confusion we see throughout the book.

I love the kid busting his ass on the bike, it's the most unintentionally hilarious scene in this whole movie

The woman who plays Mrs. White is also perfect

This movie does really well keeping to the book. There's a few exceptions of course, and parts that got left out because it's hard to translate to film, but it's pretty damn close. I'd have to double check, but I'm pretty sure the scene where Carrie's mom lectures her on the first sin and the curse of blood is all but word for word identical to the book

I do wish they included Carrie saying "fuck you" to her mom though. I loved seeing how hard Carrie fought for her autonomy and self worth in the book

Goddamn that Jesus statue is creepy. Also I love the foreshadowing of Mrs. White's death

I ALSO WISH THEY'D SHOWN CARRIE EXERCISING HER POWER LIKE SHE DOES IN THE BOOK. THEY IMPLY IT BUT THEY DONT SHOW HER LEVITATING HER BED

Love the sort of snide way Carrie says "saying my prayers"

Tommy looks so damn stupid in this movie, lmao

ALSO JUST WANT TO SAY I LOVE TOMMY IN THE BOOK SO MUCH AMD THE REPEATED ASSERTIONS THAT HE WAS A GOOD PERSON WHO WAMTED TO DO GOOD THINGS

God the english teacher is such an ass. God forbid a student express an earnest interest in the material and a classmate's work

They should've included Chris's dad showing up and the conversation between him and the principal. It was nice seeing actual action being taken, even if it was only done as a last resort.

Oh!!! I didn't catch Billy calls Chris "Chuck" like he does in the book!!! Gross, but good detail!!!

Wish we'd seen more of Tommy and Sue together in the movie. Tommy's the one who gets Sue to think about doing the right thing in the first place, and he deserves more love in the movies than he gets

Oh God, I forgot about Chris blowing Billy in the car. It's another unintentionally hilarious scene. Fuck knows how she talks with her mouth full like that. Also her moaning "I hate Carrie White" and Billy's just immediate confusion kills me every time

I took a picture of this part of the book because it's really fuckin good and I wish the movie adaptation leaned into the frustration Sue feels trying to understand her guilt and to make amends in a way greater than what's easy. It a really important aspect of her character and her growth in the book

Also the scene with Carrie telling her mom about going to prom is spot on

"Things are gonna change around here" FUCK YEAH THEY ARE, CARRIE! YOU TELL HER!!

So Norma is totally gay coded in this movie, right? It's not just me?

Fucking hell, the tux shop scene is so stupid 😂

I KNOW ITS FOR CINEMATIC EFFECT TO MAKE THE BLOOD POP LATER BUT DAMMIT I NEED A MOVIE ADAPTATION WHERE CARRIE WEARS HER RED DRESS

There's a scene in the book where Sue recounts something Tommy told her. Basically, the day before prom, Carrie told him she had to be home early because she didn't want to worry her mom. And Tommy (being a decent person) respects that and suggests the two of them and some of his friends fo get hamburgers and rootbeers after prom. And Carrie just lights up because she's so excited to be included. Even for something as simple as food and drinks after prom. It's one of my favorite parts because, as Sue points out in the book, Carrie isn't isn't bad person or the monster everyone makes her into. She's a lonely girl who wants to have friends and thought she was finally going to have that.

Oh my god, I love the song playing when they get to prom ����

CARRIE IS SO PRETTY 😭😭😭 SHE DESERVES EVERYTHINGGGGG 😭😭😭

I love their dancing scene, it's so sweet and it feels so nostalgic (lmao, as if I've ever been to a dance like this)

TOMMY AND CARRIE ARE SO CUTE AND SWEET TOGETHER I LOVE THIS PART

There's a post I've seen about movies that change genres after major events. I think the pig blood drop is when this truly turns from a coming of age movie to a horror movie

CARRIE'S TEARY "THANK YOU" AS SHE LOOKS OVER EVERYONE BREAK MY HEART 😭

I hate/love the prom massacre. I hate it happens, but it's so damn cathartic.

The odd humming echo of all the sound design is so good. It fits the disjointed deliberate way Carrie does everything

I know she's outside the gym when everything happens in the book. But watching her walk off that burning stage is fucking gorgeous

I do however wish the movie leaned into the carnage she causes throughout the town. She explodes hydrants and brings down telephone wires to electrocute anyone who leaves their houses, which also overloads the fire departments and leaves them unable to put out fires now raging all of town, explodes I think two gas stations, and psychically forces people to know her name. The last one isn't violent, but it's a great detail.

I actually hate that they changed how Mrs. White dies. In the book, Carrie slows her mom's heart down little by little and tells her she's giving her a gift and sending her into the darkness to meet whatever God is waiting there for her

I don't hate how the movie changes the ending. Not totally. But I don't find it as satisfying as the book where Carrie and Sue talk and Sue is forced to listen to Carrie screaming in her mind, begging for her mom to help her and forgive her as Carrie slowly dies.

CARRIE WHITE DESERVED BETTER. SHE WENT THROUGH HELL AND AT HER CORE SHE WAS NOT A BAD PERSON. SHE WAS JUST HURT AT EVERY TURN AND SHE DIED BELIEVING THE ONE KIMD THING ANYONE EVER DID FOR HER WAS ANOTHER TRICK AT HER EXPENSE AND SHE DIED SCARED BEGGING FOR THE WOMAN WHO ABUSED HER AND ITS FUCKING TRAGIC

[ruler-of-the-universe-boy]

Can you please list trauma Taurtis went through, like in evo, yhs/ts. Also I have some angst for you ;) later.

I’ll try my best UwU and >:(

(Also these won’t be much in order)

YHS

-Losing his girlfriend from a car crash and Sam making jokes bout it, and make food of her later

-Being caught in his teacher’s house when they try finding out if the teacher murdered his own wife

-The Gareth stuff

-Going to the school at night and running away from the ghost of Gareth

-Dressing up in Sookie’s uniform for Sam to practice dating and that going wrong

-Being forced to kiss Pepe

-Sam dressing Taurtis up in a turtle costume in his sleep while they’re basically sleeping on Jay’s roof

-Taurtis basically falling to his death in the beach episode but played it out as he was buried when he fell

-Sam trying to get Yuki away from Taurtis for prom but then reveal that he wasn’t really interested in Yuki and just wanted competition from Taurtis

-Needed to be the one to protect Sam from Yuki after the prom break up

-Going to the school again and seeing the ghosts of Gareth and Salex during Halloween

-Smack talked Yuki and getting stabbed on his side by Sam, but needed to drive Grian home and crashed the bus from what Grian explained

-Getting amnesia from the crash, getting a new name, and being a different person until they joined the Yakuza

-Falling off the crane after high fiving Sam

-Accidentally killing people with a powerful gun

-Being tricked that Karu is his dad

-During the judge of Yuki they electrocuted Taurtis in order for him to not tell the truth and making his memories jumble back

-Grian (as Karu) explaining that Taurtis was weak as a baby

-Getting eaten by the snowman monster in the Christmas special

-Seeing Yuki falling off the roof

-Salex showing up to Taurtis one last time before disappearing, and Taurtis pleading that they can still be together before she did

TS

-His interaction with Geode

-Being ‘deported’ out in Tokyo and wandering the city

-Geode making clones of him, and Taurtis not being as important anymore

-Sam using his clones to do everything and does the same thing to Taurtis, and also try selling the clones

-The info of the original Taurtis being dead and making him less important to Sam n Grian

-Taurtis getting kidnapped by aliens?

-Taurtis disappearing again with his new girlfriend after they went to a new dimension

-Turning into a minion monster and dying when Sam n Grian gave him the potion to turn him back

-The new dimension Taurtis was happy in his world before Sam n Grian went to take him

-Taken to the portal and the world ending

Evo

-Being stuck in the last update due to oversleeping

-That created an alternative purple-ish version of him that follows him and haunts his dreams

-The mafia trying to get him to join and also try putting some blame when they destroyed someone’s house (forgot who it was :( but all I know is that they have ‘bear hands’)

-just his interaction with Grian alone (and loosing some of his stuff by him sometimes)

-Grian tormenting Taurtis with the Empire even though both know Taurtis won’t join back

-Taurtis Land never being finished :(

-Having to bury some of the dogs that were stuck near his base

-His air balloon being at the spawn point and then destroyed

-Also being the mayor by force and didn’t know at the start

I probably missed something UwU so you can add anything I didn’t

[alittle-annihilation]

so i found my xanga (technically the back up now on wordpress, rest in peace xanga dot com) where i blogged/journaled from freshman year of high school to freshman year of college and just

wow

i wasnt sure if it was a good idea at first, especially considering the increasing frequency of flashbacks of the past and general terribly depressed mood as of late. but i was clearly feeling nostalgic as i was on xanga and then read every single entry.

it was heartwrenching watching it play out. but it also did not hurt as bad as i thought it would. my chest is tight and throbbing and i was holding it at one point, but i did not break down into a million pieces which i was almost certain for.

no instead it was like reading an old book where you know how it plays out, the main plot points you recall but not every single detail, but to see it relayed back to me through my voice from a decade ago. a reminder of exactly what was said and done.

whats been off putting about the flashbacks was how it was filling in pieces of my lost memories. and now reading this was an even bigger filler.

you can see where the entries go from things im up to - grades and teen spats and crushes and gossip - then suddenly every post is about hell. i still feel so bad for that version of me. you can see them breaking. the realization - but I feel as if hiding it will screw me over one day, and I’ll end up fucked up pretty badly in the future - the shift into loneliness, the growth of self loathing: the crumbling. all from the back and forth we're going we're staying we're leaving we're moving we're not budging we're separated we're together we're angry we're moving back we're divorced

it also chronicles my getting kicked out of high school, which has been weighing me down lately considering national political climate. you can see just how confused i was, just how baffled, and just how bullshit their entire argument was. with the perspective now... yeah that was fucked up.

i still wish i could have told my side and defended myself. but even now i still let the opportunities pass by.

it didn't hurt to the degree i thought i would, but i don't feel much lighter having read it. it's just facts of the past now i suppose. blogging about it felt approp

god that shit was fucked up but i have come a long way in the last 10+ years, even when there are some periods that don't feel like it.

other observations:

i both fully knew and also forgot just how obsessed i was with this basic ass white dude early on. yes i am cringing

every mention of tierra goes on to talk about how non-judgemental she is, which is how every single mention of tierra goes when i journal now. some things never change, and i am continually blessed to have her in my life.

at one point i refer to "Ms. Free Prom Dress Back Stabber with a Printer showed up with an ugly ass boyfriend and even uglier free prom dress" skfdjlafjkdsaljl OK YOUNGER ME WITH THE QUIPS. but also fuck her.

once i got on tumblr i started to cross post but i also was vague blogging so my posts literally go from naming everyone and their mother to evading an actual coherent topic that present jem is only semi picking up on

i was waaaaaaaaaaay more openly cocky and self inflating when i was a teen lmao "of course i won, i'm the more liked person of the two." screaming present me could never say that aloud

[iheartsunset]

Papa Louie Prudence HCs

(Nobody asked for these, but I gotta show love to my 8 year long favorite character)

Edit 9/23/20: Sorry I didn’t realize Pickles was a girl, last time I’ll ever listen to the forum lmao anyways I’m about to fail a test tomorrow even though I’ve studied nonstop, but that’s probably just how science goes

-Prudence Carmichael-Wagner is 22 years old and lives in a fabulously rose colored loft in Tastyville. She doesn’t plan to leave her job at the Pancakeria any time soon, but she is studying hard to become a veterinarian. She is the half sister of the famous Rudy Diamond; the daughter of Arugula Bank’s owner, Anselm Wagner; and his ex-wife, Lola Carmichael, the headmaster of Eclair Academy. Prudence has a strained relationship with her emotionally manipulative parents who care more about her achievements than her wellbeing and tried to avoid them whenever she can. Prudence’s mother loves dropping by her loft unannounced, which makes Prudence upset and anxious.

-Prudence can mostly be described as a kindhearted socialite with a strange obsession with the color pink. She is very hospitable and doting on everyone around her, making her seem like more of a mother/older sister figure. She also carries assorted sweets and mints in her purse for both emergency consumption and to cheer up anyone who’s sad. Prudence does also have a habit of panicking at first under pressure, but has learned to adapt very quickly. Prudence also loves to volunteer and help those less fortunate than her. But call her a dumb blonde and we’ll see how many teeth you have left afterwards (as a result of either her purse or Rudy’s fist).

-Her and Rudy were born on the same day only a few hours apart. Many people joked that the two were twins due to their shared birthday, blonde hair, blue eyes, and close relationship. However, she didn’t know that her father and Rudy’s mother, Carla, (his chief financial officer) had an affair that led to Rudy being born. After this was found out by Lola, Carla’s reputation was ruined and she relocated with Rudy to Powder Point, much to Prudence’s dismay. After reuniting years later when the Cheeseria opened, the two found out about the affair and realized they were siblings. They share a close bond now, but still have terrible relationships with their parents.

-As previously stated in Cooper’s headcanons, she is in a polyamorous relationship with him and Taylor. She met Taylor at their shared night school and met Cooper at their shared workplace. While her feelings for either of them weren’t very strong, Taylor’s heartfelt confession made her fall for both of them hard, thus starting the third most wholesome relationships in Flipline’s history (Penny and Alberto have the top spot filled and second place is definitely Olga and Edoardo). She loves to buy them roses or chocolates and see how flustered they both get when they’re delivered. Prudence’s parents definitely don’t approve of this relationship, but she actually doesn’t care this time.

-She and Trishna’s parents were very close in business growing up, so they both quickly became best friends, along with Rudy. She is three years younger than them and is still stuck attending high school. While Trishna isn’t too close to Rudy anymore, she and Prudence still hang out and text all the time. If Trishna is somewhere, then Prudence is probably nearby or at least on the phone with her. Trishna also offers Prudence discounts at Fashion Flambé, but Prudence always declines saying that it feels weird to not pay the full price if she didn’t have any coupons.

-Prudence was given Pickles as a gift from her father. However, he said that she could only keep the dog if she would have good grades and continued with being a debutante, meaning most of her effort was for Pickles’ sake. When she earned a C on a test, Pickles was almost taken to the pound, but she quickly entered them in a dog show to make up for her “mistakes”. The dog show started out as sort of survival, but Prudence continued doing it since she and Pickles actually enjoyed it.

-She and Trishna both attended Croquembouche Preparatory Academy along with Alberto, Penny, Joy, Roy, and Mindy. Prudence was notably crowned prom queen her junior year, all around tennis and cheer star, student body president her senior year, and salutatorian. She also joined multiple clubs. Unbeknownst to her classmates, having to keep up with these high expectations from her family and teachers almost broke her from the stress. However, a pep talk from Vicky allowed Prudence to drop many clubs and sports and take it easier in school, much to her parents’ dismay.

-Allan has thought that Prudence would play a very good Sandy, but Prudence can’t really sing well. She would, however, make for a good Elle Woods (as in the movie version) or any kickass Barbie protagonist (which is all of them, I stan Barbie). Prudence can dance amazingly, but she just doesn’t fit Cha Cha’s sassiness and overall nastiness. She’s a great cheerleader, so she’s a good fit for Patty Simcox, but then again Patty also sucks, so looks like Prudence is just a background dancer.

-She thinks of Johnny as her father, Hank as he other father, and Vicky as her mother. She also considers Trishna, Scarlett, Utah, Clover, Nevada, and Mindy her sisters. Chuck, Marty, and Greg are her brother figures. Rudy is also thought of as her brother, but he’s also her actual brother, so it’s actually very accurate.

-If you smell pickles on the bus, it’s because Prudence opened her big ass jar of them and started eating it. I personally hate pickles, especially when people eat them on some sort of vehicle. Sure you can eat pickles ain’t nothing wrong with that, but I’m not tryna smell pickles when I’m trying to get to school.

-Prudence is a master at fashion and makeup. However, she mostly wears simple cropped shirts and jeans everywhere for comfort. Her only standout accessories are her purse (since she carried Pickles in it) and her bow (she had to find some way to be twinsies with pickles, and she wasn’t wearing no dang collar).

-She and Maggie are both queens and often converse about how to maximize their joint slay. They also love finding examples to disprove the dumb blonde stereotype.

-She likes to get the good dog food for Pickles, but she sometimes gives her some pickles or vanilla ice cream. Cooper and Taylor spoil her with other types of human food when she’s away, though. Not chocolate or any of that kinda stuff though.

-Prudence likes to sit in the stands and drunkenly cheer really loudly for Cooper and Taylor, which actually encourages them even more. Dang they’re just all so cute together like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-She basically lives at the mall and salon, earning her closer relationships with their workers. She and Kaleb like to drink tangerine pop together and she always gossips with either Mindy or Vicky. Sometimes she takes Cooper and Taylor to get their nails done together. Taylor prefers his nails in ultramarine with white flowers while Cooper likes a classic French manicure better.

-Rudy can’t dress for shit and neither can Johnny, so she tries to help them both out together outfits better. They’re very close to her, but none of them take her advice and she is very sad. She hates flannel, but whatever makes him happy, she guesses.

-My favorite girl and has been for most of my life. I love her so much.

[amillionarts]

While creating Shelley (my character that’s basically Bride of Frankenstein as a teen) last week, I was thinking about making more characters like her then the idea hit me: What if Carrie White somehow survived her prom night and had a daughter?? I was back and forth between creating her because I kinda found the idea cheesy but at the same time I really love Carrie and I haven’t seen a “Carrie White’s daughter” concept. I obviously got around to making her! As the pic says, her name is Susy, named after the only girl who showed kindness to Carrie. I figured Carrie would be grateful for Sue’s kindness so this was her way of telling Sue “thank you!”

The hardest part was coming up with her outfit and the color scheme of her outfit. At first I wanted it to be pink like in every version of Carrie, then I scrapped that and thought about making it black with a bloody design, then I remembered reading in the Carrie book that Carrie’s dress was (dark?) red with puffy sleeves, and I worked from there! It was way easier coming up with her personality than coming up with Shelley’s personality, I got more ideas for Susy’s personality as I drew her as you can see, but the design had me stumped for awhile!

Regardless I had so much fun making Susy!! ❤️

#HCW1k

[nickmuch]

c.z.k. - high school (part 3)

PART 1 / PART 2

Note: Honestly, I have nothing to do at work atm, so I might update this daily. Can’t wait for Part 4! Bc I have finally some more Zion action planned.

Also: It might be prom season there, but you didn’t hear it from me. My favorite part to write was probably the one that took place after prom.

Aaand: mobile tumblr seems to ignore all the paragraphing I put into the text to indicate the end of a scene???? So it’s probably easier to read on the desktop version.

A week had passed since my outburst. If you thought that everything magically turned upside down and we lived a happy life riding into the sunset on our white horse, then you thought wrong. Absolutely nothing happened. I returned back to class that day, not even flinching from his words. And he came back a couple minutes later, both of us acting as if we didn’t just kiss. He went back to her and I went back to feeling like shit. The usual story.

I acted like it didn’t faze me when he approached my locker at the end of the school day. “So …” he began. “You and Edwin?”. His voice sounded nervous when he asked me. Scrunching up my face, I fully turned towards him. “Me and Edwin what?”. Sighing, he grabbed my arm making me look him dead in the eyes. “You guys together now? You both seem oddly close these days”. Wow, I couldn’t believe the words that left his mouth. “Congrats! You have officially lost your mind, Caleb” I started picking up my pace. The front door wasn’t too far from here, so I hoped he would just let it go and let me drive home in peace. I hoped for nothing because clearly, he and his long legs caught up to me rather quickly, opening the door to my passenger seat before sitting down. “Look, I’m sorry for everything. But honestly, I just wanna put this all behind us. I miss my friends and I feel like I can’t hang out with the group while you’re still mad at me” “I’m not mad at you, in fact I give zero shits about you. But if you have something to talk about with the boys, then do so. I’m not keeping you from seeing them. They were your friends first, so you have every right to chill with them. I just don’t wanna be included, s’all”. A tap on the window made us look up. There she stood, tight smile on her face and eyes cold like ice. “Aw shit” he said, hurriedly opening the door to get out and explain why in the name of God he was sitting in his Ex’s car talking. Since I seriously didn’t need to hear their arguing – which was bound to happen any second now – I quickly drove off.

“Prom is right around the corner. What do you mean you’re not going?! Yes, you are! Don’t leave me alone with these fools!”. Edwin was close to having a breakdown. All because I didn’t plan on going to prom. There was no reason to go, really. I had no date, it was way too cold In New York to walk around in a dress the whole evening, and I wasn’t in the mood anyways. “Eddie, I love you, but please don’t make me go. I would only destroy the fun” I begged, thinking that would change his mind. Wrong! Because Edwin was – well – Edwin. My excuses were exactly that: just excuses. And he knew. “Okay bebecita, I knooooow you don’t feel like going”. He was convinced that easily? Wow, okay. “But!”. Ah there it was. “We will have fun. Trust me! When have I ever lied to you?”. I mean, he was right. Whenever he said something was going to be fun, it actually turned out to be. “Fine, we’ll go! But make sure that Zion leaves me alone. He thinks we’re dating and I don’t feel like dealing with his headassery again”. Edwin’s eyes nearly fell out of his face. “What?! Oh my god, is he serious?”. A hearty laugh filled up the whole living room. “Mijo, not so loud!” his mom shouted from the kitchen, making him quit immediately. “Anyways” he plopped down next to me on the couch. “No offense, but even if you’d be the last girl in the world and we had to reproduce in order to save the human civilization, I still wouldn’t touch you” Edwin finished. “No offense taken. You’re not my type anyway” I casually said while not breaking my eyes off of the tv screen. Gasp! “I- what? I meant because you’re my twin sister! Not because of your looks!” he cried. “Uhm … oh y-yeah, that’s what I meant too …?”. No way I could save my ass out of this. He looked hurt for a second but didn’t seem to dwell on it when he used my lap as a pillow to watch the show. “Don’t be fooled, you still suck ass”.

The night of the prom, Edwin had officially turned into a bridezilla. Minus the bride, of course. His steps could be heard from everywhere in the house, like a ticking clock you couldn’t dismiss. It was driving me insane. It was driving us all insane. “Edwin, you need to calm down” I tried. “There’s no way! No. Way.” he frantically walked from one room to the other. “My clothes need to be ironed, you still aren’t in your dress- “. “It’s 2 p.m.!” my voice sounded squeakier than expected. “- … your hair’s a mess, face not beat, my hair is acting up, and the damn rental car is running late” he finished with one last breath before collapsing on my bed. “We won’t be on time. Just cancel on the boys for me, the stress isn’t good for the baby”. “What baby?!”. “Me. I’m baby”. I couldn’t believe my ears. This boy lost his mind. Narrowing my eyes at him, he challenged me back to a stare-down. “Listen here, egghead” An offended gasp left his lips. “You’ve been talking about this night for weeks. There’s no backing out now. Move your ass up and get your to-do-list, so I can help you with everything. We still have four hours left before the boys are supposed to be here. So, let’s start!”.

The white Range Rover came to a halt right in front of the school building. Loud music could be heard already, some new rap song playing in the background. “This is gonna be so lit!” Edwin bounced on his seat excitedly before jumping out and dragging the rest of us with him into the gym. The motto for this year’s prom was “neon festival”.The wall decoration was painted in a mix of fluorescent colors, which reflected every time the lights hit them. Bright yellow stars adorned the ceiling, some white smoke even coming out of a smoke machine. Everything was arranged so nicely, I couldn’t help but admire the great effort of the students who probably worked hard for this to come true. Now I understood why Edwin wanted to go so badly. Back home, our prom nights were pretty basic. No one could be bothered to put so much effort into an event, just for it to be over on the same night.

“Here, for you” Nick handed me a red solo cup, which was filled with some pink drink, accompanied by a cocktail umbrella. “Thank you” I said, turning my gaze towards the shining stars again. “I’m so sorry about what I’m gonna say next” he looked slightly uneasy, so I tried to calm him down by laying my hand on his shoulder. “Z and Asya will be joining our table. I mean, only if it’s alright with you”. As if on cue, my eyes wandered over to where I last saw the boys, seeing that – in fact – they were surrounded by the couple. All of them looked so happy, laughing and joking with each other. No matter what I felt towards Caleb, I had to set my pride aside and act nice from now on. The boys were longing to hang out with their friend again and I didn’t want to be the reason for a strain in their friendship.

“It’s alright with me” I replied. His hand cautiously wrapped around my hips, like he was scared of making me uncomfortable. “Lead the way, Mara”. He grinned at me. “Say no more, Honoret”. I rolled my eyes at the name. He knew I wasn’t really a Honoret, and yet everyone just called me that, totally ignoring all my attempts at correcting them.

Luckily, I got the seat between Edwin and Brandon. I didn’t know how to greet Zion and his girlfriend. She was too busy typing away on her phone to notice my arrival, anyways. So, I just gave him a short wave and a shy smile. “Looking nice” he said, motioning to my baby blue velvet bodycon dress. His girl was so busy, she didn’t even notice him complimenting another female. Either that, or she didn’t care. “Thanks Caleb, you too”. Coincidentally, he wore a dark grey suit with a baby blue pocket square. To not give awkward silence any room, Austin suggested to me to dance. Gladly taking his offer, we made our way to the dance floor. Soon enough, Edwin and Nick joined us, their dance moves putting me and him to shame. “You guys enjoying yourselves?” Brandon shouted over the music. I pulled him closer by his forearm to join us. “Very”. My grin however didn’t last. When I looked back to our table, I saw Zion all by himself. He looked bored, occasionally scrolling through his phone. “I’ll be right back” I told no one in particular before making my way over to the lone boy.

“Why so lonely, Kuwonu?” I nudged his arm. With a weak smile on his plump lips, he answered “Asya is preoccupied with her group of friends. I don’t really vibe with ‘em”. Nodding understandingly, I offered him to accompany me back to the others. “As long as you don’t hit the folks, we’re good” I playfully teased him. “Ha ha, very funny” Caleb sarcastically remarked. It was nice to talk to him without an attitude or tension building up. Maybe I overreacted a little bit in the last weeks. Having him around felt good, if you ignored the butterflies that erupted deep down in my stomach every time he looked at me or smiled his goofy grin. But we had our chance and it didn’t work out, that’s why I had to get over it. Better to have him as a friend than anything else. Right now, though, was about having fun and enjoying the company of good friends in a night that seemed to be endless.

The thing is, everything has an end. And so, I found myself in the booth of an old diner. The fake leather of the seats was peeling off and little bolts of cloth got stuck to our clothes. One of my legs was pressed against the window side, my other leg was touching Brandon’s involuntarily. Edwin thought a corner booth would totally suffice for all seven of us. Well, he thought wrong because now we were all huddled up, trying to get as comfortable as humanly possible with not much space between us left. Asya decided to not tag along, saying she was too tired from dancing with her friends all night.

“I hope they hurry up with our order, I’m starving!” Ansley sighed dramatically. Turns out, Austin was talking to her for weeks now, he just couldn’t build up the courage to ask her out yet. So, Edwin being Edwin, persuaded her to join our trip for a midnight-snack, claiming that “this pizza is going to be the best you’ve ever had!”. Judging from the interior design and the slack expression we were getting from the waiter, I highly doubted he was right. But then again, never underestimate Edwin.

“Okay, you were right. This is the best pizza I’ve ever had. Kudos to you, Ed” Ansley munched happily on her slice. Suspiciously examining the pieces in the center of the table, I couldn’t really put too much trust into her words. For some odd reason, the pizza had more grease on it than my face in the morning before washing it. “Just try it, she isn’t lying” Zion slid me a slice over. “If I die, tell Mama, Papa and the babies that I love ‘em” I told Ed before taking a bite. This was actually pretty good. Maybe not the best I’ve had, but it came close. “What makes this the best pizza in all of New York, though? It doesn’t taste that special”. The boys smirked knowingly, all eyes looking down trying to avoid my gaze. “It’s not necessarily the taste but rather the memories this place holds, you know? Back when we were younger, we’d spend our evenings after school here since our parents were working and we had no one to watch us in the meantime” Brandon nodded along to Edwin’s words, clearly remembering it all as if it had happened yesterday. “Can you imagine the mess we’d make?! Five little boys, full of energy rushing in to buy themselves some junk food, not a single care in the world” he paused for a moment, giving the others a short smile. The moment was filled with a melancholic retrospective feeling. “We literally grew up in this place. T’was safer to play and wait for our parents in here than at home or on the streets. I guess that’s what makes this so special to us” he shrugged. Sensing that he had finished the story, I nodded slowly, comprehending everything he just told me. “I like it here. Has charm to it”. Grinning widely, I took another bite to further prove my point.

People think of New York as this cool and hip city, with expensive luxurious apartments and such, but they seem to forget that not everyone is fortunate enough to live that life. Some of us have to learn from an early age that this world is full of bad people. Not everyone is going to wish you the best or give a helping hand. “We kinda are like OMB if you really think about it. Sure, no one is forcing us to join a gang or sum, but we do live a similar life” Zion threw in. “Actually, the weedhead might be onto something” B exclaimed. “You moving here out of nowhere” he said, pointing towards me. “Ed having to give up his room for you. A weird crackhead as a friend like Jamal” Now it was Edwin’s turn to be pointed at. “Hey! That’s rude! Besides, don’t do my bro Jamal like dat. He’s a great friend, always got their backs and shit” Ed tried to argue. “You’re a great friend, too. And an even better twin brother” I genuinely told him. A chorus of “Awwee”’s followed the round. “Now this is how you talk to friends! Take notes, ladies”. When he said ladies, he definitely wasn’t referring to me or Ansley.

The night itself turned out being amazing and I was glad that Edwin had convinced me to go to prom. We were talking about everything and nothing, really. Moments turned into minutes. Minutes turned into hours, and soon it was already time to leave. Ansley had to be home soon, so Austin took it upon himself to make sure she would arrive there safely. Edwin was craving donuts from the corner shop across the street, but since he couldn’t be trusted on his own, Brandon decided to follow him. “Is B really the right fit to watch him not do any shenanigans?” Nick asked warily. “… honestly, talking from experience, I should probably go with ‘em before their sugar high kicks in”. With that, I was left alone with Zion in the booth of a run-down diner in the middle of New York. Despite being in one of the biggest cities, the world suddenly felt so small around me.

“So …” Zion said, looking around the place. “So …” I mimicked. Shaking his head, he just laughed. “This is low key awkward, not gonna lie”. It was true. In a group we no longer had trouble talking, however when alone it was a whole another story.

“I’m sorry”.

“You say sorry way too much”.

“Maybe. But this time I wanna apologize for attacking you with that kiss last week”.

“It’s all forgotten”.

His mouth opened and closed, scared to say something but I knew there still was something he wanted to get off his chest.

The bell above the door frame signaled the arrival of someone. “Guess what I gotchu guys?!” Edwin trotted over, taking a seat on the table, so that he had both me and Z on each of his sides. A small brown paper bag rested on his lap. With one swift movement, he pulled out some twizzlers, and shoved them in our hands. “And we also bought you make up wipes!” happily Brandon said in a sing-song voice. Fishing out the pack, he handed them over to me. “I love you guys!”. Nick walked in last. “Yo, I’m slowly getting tired. Can we drive home now?” sleepily he rubbed his eyes, already pulling on Zion’s sleeve. Reluctantly, Edwin followed behind, even though all he wanted was to eat his candy. His sugar high was still going in full force. Therefore, he didn’t feel an ounce of sleep.

“Why the fuck is he so bouncy?!”Austin asked. We had called him earlier to ask for his location, so that we could pick him up and drive home as well. He climbed up the Jeep, sitting next to an energetic Ed. “Twizzlers?” he offered to his friend. “No, thanks. Also, please stop smiling so creepily, you’re scaring me”. This was going to be a long drive.

Note: Part 4 will have more Zion moments. The plan is to have only one or two settings, so hopefully it’ll work out as planned.

I’d love to get some feedback, good or bad doesn’t matter!! What direction would you want this to go? How would you like this to end? Let me know!

Cami

[audikatia]

3.19 Prom-o-saurus

Rating: 4/5. Not as good as last year’s prom episode but honestly nothing compares to that

Best Song: Dinosaur. My dad heard it first on this show and loved it. My sister introduced him to the original Ke$ha version and now it is one of his favorite songs.

Memorable Quote: “Stop acting like you're fine and start dealing with your crap. Look, you choked at your big audition. I get it. I'm sorry, but it happens. And I understand that you're pissed off at the universe, but imploding on one of the last nights that we have to spend together because, basically, you're just not in the mood to dance is maybe the pettiest thing you have ever done. So have fun at your ‘I’m a victim’ party, acting like you're not some selfish, self-centered, lame-ass wannabe diva from hell, because me, I'm going to go to my senior prom with my girlfriend and my friends.” -Santana

General Notes:

One of the girls on the prom committee reminds me of my roommate from hell and I feel like I’m having war flashbacks

I don’t understand why they’re all against Brittany’s prom theme. Personally, I’d love a dinosaur prom

I fucking love the music drop when Rachel sees the prom poster

Becky on a rampage is amazing. She learned from Sue and I love it

“It’s not funny, I don’t want to go” is so cute, Darren does such a good read on this line

Crazy/Creepy!Quinn is amazing and I would die for her

Mike’s enthusiasm for dino-prom is me

The creepy music when Finn finds Quinn walking is another great music drop in this episode

Finn yelling at Quinn is great and a little warranted. I think there’s probably a lot of built up stress and aggression between them (mostly from that whole “I tricked you into thinking the baby was yours” drama) that I don’t think ever really got resolved

Blaine’s refusal to let people see him without hair gel is like my refusal for people to see me without eyeliner

The guys singing “That’s what makes you beautiful” to Mercedes is so cute

Puck crowning Becky as anti-prom queen is so cute and I love that in return, she helped him spike the punch. Friends help friends make dreams come true.

“We really had the perfect high school lives.” Quinn, you were an ostracized teen mom who got kicked out of her house, your parents got a divorce because your dad was sleeping with sex workers, you had some gnarly breakups, you were hit by a fucking car and almost had to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, and you went through some serious depressive episodes. Santana was outed against her will and her beloved grandmother has kicked her out of her life. This is not perfect.

I hate that Rachel got elected prom queen. I understand this show is total wish fulfillment for Rachel but ugh, she’s so fucking irritating

Tina and Mike should have been endgame. I will die on this hill.

My shipper heart loves that Puck is the one who started clapping when Quinn stood

Love Tina’s dress/capelet, don’t love Quinn’s dress, love Rachel’s dress, love Puck’s Star Wars underwear, HATE Brittany’s rat tail braid, love Kurt’s vest

[cinnamonsugarsheith-blog]

Prompt: AU where Shiro and Keith meet at Allurance’s wedding. Rating: Teen, there’s a singluar line that could maybe be classified as M. Pairing: Sheith, what else. BG Allurance

Side note: I HC human!Allura as being Indian. Briefly mentioned here.

Keith did not understand the hype around weddings. They were expensive and you had to invite everyone you or your family had ever met and if Lance didn't Shut The Fuck up about ecru he was going to kill himself.

And what was even the point of a rehearsal dinner? That just seemed like a really good way to waste a whole lot more money. Especia-fucking-lly if the maid of honor he was supposed to be escorting down the aisle didn't show up. If it wouldn't absolutely destroy Lance he wished the woman fell in the ridiculously high heels that he (and Allura! Lance would insist, but more likely it was Coran...) had the girls wearing. At least Hunk was cool. When he wasn't sobbing about oh my god my best friend is getting married or committing for nerves. And Pidge, who Lance was technically borrowing from Allura's friend group, and her brother Matt apparently loved to pester Lance, making them his new favorite people. Her cousin Lotor was creepy as shit. He'd met him before at some art thing Lance had dragged him to when he and Allura had first started talking. He basically told both of them they weren't good  enough to being his and Allura air and that she would be done with her little charity case in hanging out with then soon enough. Then he'd had the gall to ask Keith to dance. Fucking creep. Keith was just glad he didn't have to walk with him. And so glad all of this would finally be over tomorrow. And then he'd send Lance's crazy and Allura's patient asses on a plane to the Bahamas and be on with his life again. He was at the church at 8am, sitting in chairs that had been shoved against a wall in a room that he was sure was much smaller than the one Allura and her party was in. He and Pidge were both nursing coffee's, understanding that they were not on speaking terms until the whole pot on the cart by the door was gone. Lance was pacing around the room talking about he needed to put on his suit but then he couldn't put it on too early because it would get wrinkled. Hunk was blissfully unaware of all of this in the kitchen. He could not wait to get this shit over with.

At 10am, he was helping Pidge zip up her dress while Lance babbled nervously as he tried to button his pale blue dress shirt. "Lance." He and Pidge scolded together, for at least the tenth time. Keith stepped over and swatted Lance's hands out of the way, unbuttoning and rebuttoning the shirt with ease. "Pidge, tie." He flicked Lance's collar up and stepped out of the way. "On it." She looped the fabric around his neck and knotted it easily. Keith stepped back over with Lance's jacket as Pidge smoothed his shirt collar back down. He helped Lance into it and clapped him maybe a little too hard on the shoulder. "Shut up, Lance. You are going to get out there and do fine. Allura loves the fuck out of you and she is not going to leave you at the altar. And if she does Hunk and I will..." He trailed off, not wanting to threaten to beat up his best friends almost wife. "I'll beat her up for you." Pidge snickered and shoved them towards the door, purple dress bouncing when she walked. Hunk met them at the foyer and helped them pin flowers into their lapels, or in Pidge's case into her hair. He smelled like chiles and curry. Well there was that to look forward to at least. Eventually music started to fill the halls and this brought Lotor, followed by Matt, and then the most attractive man Keith had literally ever seen. Allura had a Man of Honor? "Hi!" The man said a little breathlessly. "You must be Keith! Sorry I missed rehearsal last night. I've heard a lot about you..." "Yeah I'm Keith." Ugh that jawline and the broad shoulders and his smile and well there went Keith's entire intention of leading down the aisle. He couldn't lead this guy anywhere if he wanted to. He was solid. "I'm Shiro." Then the music started playing and Pidge and Matt shoved Lance through the doors so he wouldn't see Allura, before retaking their places at the tail end of the group. Shiro offered his arm and he had no choice but to take it with the doors now open and the crowd watching. Hunk and Lotor were behind them, and the siblings were in the back. He tried to focus on his steps and breathing the short walk to the altar because this gorgeous man next to him was holding his arm easily, and their arms were touching... (Lance would remind him he needed to get laid if arm touches did it for him. Ugh.) A large hand on the small of his back guiding him to Lance's side of the altar when they parted was the last nail in the coffin.

He didn't interact with Shiro again until they were in the massive banquet hall where the reception was. That's right, they were expected to dance. Shit. Shiro took his hand with a warm smile and no questions, setting the other on Keith's waist as the DJ said some corny stuff about the new Mr and Mrs VonAltea-McClain. Keith settled his a little nervously on Shiro's shoulder. He didn't go to prom, but if he had, he imagined it would have been like a more tackily decorated version of this. "So you're Lance's best friend, brother, cousin, coworker...?" Shiro started after a moment of smiling at him in silence. "Foster brother." Keith swallowed and glanced away knowing what would follow that comment. "Cool. I hear your abuela is an amazing cook!" Well that was not the standard reaction. "Uh yeah... How do you know Allura?" "She um... My ex actually. Our fathers set up an arranged marriage when her family immigrated from India." Keith must have been looking at him like he was crazy because Shiro laughed. "I'll understand if you want to stop dancing with me, but I'm gay. It wasn't going to work for anyone." "Oh." Keith said simply. "Oh?" "Nothing, I'm just not used to gay men who look like they could snap me in half." Shiro laughed again. "I'll take that. You uh... Don't mind though? The dancing and all the other crap we have to do together tonight? Me and Matt can partner up and you have Pidge. Or vice versa. I've known them for years so..." "No, it's cool. I'm not straight either, so you're safe with me." He tried to give him the smile that Allura called "roguish" once. "Besides watching Matt and Pidge bicker was the highlight of the rehearsal dinner. I'm not missing them ramp it up tonight."

"What are you? If you don't mind me asking?" Shiro leaned in close, probably with Keith's privacy in mind. Fuck he even smelled good. Keith shrugged in response to the question. "It sounds stupid as shit, but I never really thought about it? Just like who I like." And right now he'd happen to like to do the dumb cliche thing where he fucked a bridesmaid on the wedding night. Bridesman? Fuck it. Whatever. Shiro raised an eyebrow. "How old are you? Am I dancing with a teenager?" "No you ass, I'm twenty two." Shiro nodded sagely. "Not a teenager. Still a child." "Oh fuck you." "Anything you want, Baby." Shiro winked and Keith was done for.

He spent the rest of the night in Shiro's periphery. And then, as previously planned, he went home. Drove Lance and Allura to the airport in the morning. Had basically forgot about the other man until Lance and Allura threw a cookout. And if Shiro looked good in a charcoal grey suit, Keith must have been in heaven seeing him in a tank top and swim trunks. He definitely gave an audible "oh fuck." Before getting hit squarely in the face with a volleyball. "Hey! Keith, right? I'm Shiro we--" "I remember you." Keith pinched his nose in hopes of stopping his watering eyes and shoved the volleyball back at Shiro. "Are you okay? Let me see..." Shiro pulled his hand away from his face and cupped his chin. He tilted Keith's face side to side slowly, looking at the red mark. He looked into Keith's eyes with just the barest hint of a smirk. "Looks good to me." Keith's cheeks turned as red as his forehead. "Shiro are you gonna bring the ball back or what?! Allura and I aren't finished kicking your asses yet!" Pidge yelled from the net.

"Sorry, Baby. Duty calls." Keith blinked as Shiro jogged off and tossed the ball to Matt to serve. Keith headed over to where it looked like Lance or Hunk had put together pitchers of mixed drinks. "Coran which one of these is the strongest?" He said over his shoulder. "Nunvil. The purple one." The man slurred from under the straw hat he'd pulled over his face. He gulped down half a cup before starting to look for Lance. "Hey man!" Lance was manning the grill under Hunks watchful eye. "Hey. Didn't realize you were having reception part two." "Haha, but nah. Lotor isn't here." He and Lance cheersed to that. "You bring trunks? I need a chicken partner for later against this guy --" he clapped Hunks shoulder "-- and Pidge." Keith snorted. If he remembered that correctly Allura had expressly forbids both herself AND Lance from playing chicken after they both ended up with matching broken arms for four months.

"Sure, man. How is married life?" "It's great. A few more months and we think we are gonna start trying for Lancey Lance Jr." "That's great!" Hunk lit up. "Yep, you and Keith gotta arm wrestle for god dad."

"What about me and Matt?" A playfully sulky voice came from right behind Keith. "Ehhhh. Matt's out. Pidge's god mom anyways." "It should probably be Hunk." Keith sidestepped to let Shiro into the circle. "Awwe Keith doesn't like my unborn child!!!!" Lance hung himself around Keith's neck dramatically. "Get off, weirdo!" Lance grinned. "You love it, dude." "Yeah yeah, Hunks about to give away your grill privileges. You're burning the mushrooms." "Oh shit!"

Shiro plopped into the grass beside Keith's lawn chair with his plate a short while later. "Hey." His shoulder was pressed against Keith's knee warmly. "Hey..." "So can I take you out sometime?" "That was forward." "You seem like a guy who doesn't like too much beating around the bush... And I've called you 'baby' and had my hands on you quite a bit with dancing and wedding photos and playing nurse... Seemed like you were into it." Keith shrugged. As if anyone wouldn't be into it. "So... Can I take you out sometime?" "Sure." "Okay, what are you doing after this?" "Uh... Lance bought fireworks, so I'm pretty sure going to bed?" "Mmmm come with me instead?" "To bed?" Keith raised his eyebrows. Knowing that was NOT what Shiro meant, but wanting to throw him off his game. Shiro blushed. "Not unless you want to, but I was thinking I could take you on a night drive? I rode my bike over."

He sat close to Shiro on the bike, letting the wind whip through his hair and tug at his thin shirt. He was thankful to have the bulk of Shiro in front of him as a shield. Shiro eventually pulled onto a dirt road and they ended up spread out in a field not too long after on a blanket Shiro pulled out of his saddle bag. He pointed out constellations to Keith and Keith watched him talk excitedly more than he paid mind to the stars. Keith hummed and shrugged his shoulder to nudge Shiro. "Hey..." "Yeah?" "Can I take you up on that offer?" "What?" "Sleeping." "Well that was forward." Shiro mimicked his earlier sentiment. "No. Not that. I just meant I'm tired, but I don't..." He could feel his cheeks darken. "Want this to end?" Shiro rolled to his side and boxed Keith in with a hand above his shoulder. "Yeah..." "Doesn't have to, Baby..." Shiro leaned down and Keith forgot all about being tired and cold and the lumpy ground under his  back when Shiro kissed him.

[amazinggrace00]

another name goes up in lights, you wonder if you’ll make it out alive

Chapter 7: my anxiety tells me, that you're better without me, now I'm crying alone

Part of @julieandthephantomsbb

Rating: T

Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Background Willex, Background Kayla/Reggie

Tags: Past Julie/Nick, Alternate Universe, no ghosts, Well kinda but they aren't real, Everyone Is Alive, TV Show, Hollywood, Cussing, Hollywood sucks, All the guys parents suck, Bobby is okay, hollywood is sexist, Sexism, Song references galore, JATP Big Bang 2022, Carrie isn't a good person, Nick isn't a good person

Chapter 7 Posted: 8/13/2022

Summary:

Phantoms, the new Network TV show, recently got picked up for its second season and filming is already underway. The show follows a special government unit tasked with dealing with the supernatural. The series will return Marci Harrison who portrays the lead detective in charge of a group of junior detectives (Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, Kayla Caro), forensic scientists (Luke Patterson and Julie Molina), and a rookie detective (Flynn Rider). 

Julie Molina is enjoying her time on Phantoms, the supernatural detective show. It had been her saving grace after being blacklisted from basically everywhere following her media feud with former Disney Channel costar Carrie Wilson that tanked her music career before it even started.

But with rumors that the show isn’t going to get a third season, Julie is worried about her career completely ending with no jobs or recording contracts in sight.

Add in the fact that even if they get a third season, Julie’s costar might leave the show and go off to pursue his music career.

And Julie is trying to understand why said costar potentially leaving is making her so upset.

Chapter 7 Summary: Luke's movie premiere happens

Collection: JATP Big Band 2022

Read on AO3

Keep Reading for an excerpt

Episode seventeen fell around the same time as Luke’s premiere for the movie that he worked on last summer.

And Julie still did not have an invite.

She didn’t panic at first. Premiere invites came last minute all of the time and it’s not like anyone else had gotten theirs. Hell, the three younger ladies of the show had already gone dress shopping weeks ago as they all knew they were going.

Of course, Luke would invite all of his castmates and friends. He talked all the time about how excited he was to show them all the movie.

Julie glanced at the dress in her closet, a purple number. She got it specifically because it reminded her of a more grown-up version of the purple dress that her mom and she had picked out for the “prom” that Disney had put on the year that Rose had died and everything went to shit.

Julie never ended up wearing that dress or going to the dance. How could she with everything going on? One of those things would have kept her from going, but both. There was no way.

To make it worse, she never found a reason to wear the dress. It wasn’t like she gained a ton of weight, but her nineteen-year-old body wasn’t the same as her twenty-two-year-old body and it no longer fit right. Plus, the style was already a bit too young for her at the time, and it wasn’t like she was getting invited to any Disney Channel events in the near future to wear it too anyways.

This was all to say that she was very excited for this premiere and that was making her super anxious. She wasn’t allowed to have joy; something always had to come and ruin it.

She wished it was like elementary school where Luke would show up to set one day with paper invitations, maybe even homemade. Knowing him, there is no way that his would be homemade, his handwriting would be too bad. Everyone would show up at the wrong place at the wrong time on the wrong day.

No, instead, they had to go through their management teams. And it wasn’t even Luke personally inviting them, it was the film. Of course, it was all about appearances and connections, so the whole cast would of course be there. They would all do the same for Flynn’s movie in a few weeks. 

“Alright, so should we pregame the premiere at my place?” Kayla suggested. “We can get all ready and then head out from there. Mrs. Harrison even said that she is in.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the invite? We don’t even know what time it starts,” Julie frowned. “But yeah I’d be down.”

Flynn and Kayla both gave each other confused looks and turned back to Julie. “You didn’t get your invite yet?” Flynn asked.

Julie’s stomach dropped.

“No? Have you guys?”

“I got mine yesterday,” Flynn admitted.

“I just got mine this morning. It’s a phone call. You know, managers have to call managers and such. They probably just haven’t gotten to your name yet or your team is super busy and hasn’t been able to call you yet,” Kayla reassured her.

“Yeah, I mean it’s not like you wouldn’t be invited. You’d be invited over all of us anyways. I honestly thought your name would be at the top of the list but there probably isn’t any particular order. It’s at seven by the way, on Wednesday,” Flynn added.

“Fuck,” Julie threw her head back. “I can’t even make the pregame then. I’m shooting a scene, with Bobby of all people. I’ll have to get ready here and take off to the theater.”

“Ugh that sucks, maybe we could get ready here then?” Kayla tried.

“No, you guys get ready at your place. It would just be too difficult here unless we brought suitcases worth of stuff. I’ll have to get ready super quickly and won’t even be able to hang out anyways,” Julie gave them a small smile.

“That sucks. Although Julie, I just realized why you probably haven’t gotten your invite yet. Luke’s probably going to ask you to be his date. I think he gets one of those or something,” Flynn winked.

Julie rolled her eyes. “Luke would not ask me to be his date that would be ridiculous.”

“Not like that, although I wish,” Flynn teased. “Come on, you guys are always attached at the hip. Being his date wouldn’t mean like a date date, it would just be like you are accompanying him.”

Julie’s stomach dropped again. Maybe Luke would ask her to be his date.

Strictly as friends.

But she didn’t know how to feel about that.

[cammquin]

I just wanted to say I love your trailers! They’re really cool! ❤️ I was wondering where you find all the clips you use do you just find they on YouTube?

First off, thank you! It really means the world to see people liking it! 

Now, down to the nitty gritty. There are a few different ways I find the clips, but all of them start off with deciding the FC.

Sometimes that’s decided by a fandom favorite (like Liam’s for my TRR trailer), sometimes because I know an actor that’d be perfect for it (like Justin Chon as Aiden), or the most difficult version of all: by one gifset I saw laying around and that would fit the trailer amazingly (like both Drake’s and Ava’s).

After that, I literally google the actor’s name and check out all of their work (from TV shows to movies and even photoshoots).

For this screenshot I’m using Daniel Di Tomasso (aka Drake) because this asshole gave me a TON of work:

Ignore the fact that my Google is in Portuguese, but basically on the right corner is where it lists all the actor’s previous and ongoing works. In Daniel’s case, I found the perfect scene in a gifset for my trailer, and for that I actually had to figure out which of his body of work had it. So, I looked in every one of them to see if I could find the outfit he was wearing. Fun fact: it was on one single episode of Witches of East End.

Okay, origin figured out, now’s time to find it. Usually when it comes to TV shows I try searching on YouTube for a clip from the show (most of them have it, like in Ava’s case that I actually found the exact scene I wanted, and sometimes I’m even luckier and find a compilation of scenes in 1080p from said show, like with Quinn’s and Maria’s case). But sometimes I’m incredibly unlucky and I don’t find anything, just bits and pieces from scenes that make no sense with the story of the book. Which was Daniel’s case.

When that happens I like to google a summary of every single episode from the series to try and figure out which of them could contain said scene. Sometimes it’s crystal clear (as in “so and so argue over something”) and sometimes there’s TOO MANY SIMILAR SCENES in the span of like 4-5 episodes. I honestly hate when that happens.

Sooo, it becomes my last resource to download the entire season (usually it’s easy to identify which season it is thanks to hair and makeup) and watch it just to find “I can’t watch you with him, hurts too much” (I literally did all this for just this quote). But there’s a plus to all my misery: I usually find a second FC that interacts with the actor I was looking for (both of the MCs’ faceclaims were found like that in both my TRR and Endless Summer trailers).

And that’s the hardest way with TV shows. There are also what I like to call “filler clips” that make the story of the trailer cohesive and tie the characters to the actual book. Sometimes it’s a video clip that I’d be using with no audio, sometimes it’s just the audio that fits perfectly with the narrative. In HSS’ case it was super easy, because Glee was my salvation. They had football, they had cheerleading and they had a band. So most of the filler clips were from the show I knew with the back of my hand. With the exception of the car and prom scenes, that I also remembered from the Paper Towns movie and knew exactly what to search to find it without downloading the entire thing.

When it comes to hard “filler clips”, the one I had the most difficulty was with Endless Summer. I had to change the color of a fox to create Furball, find clips of an island, of completely different environments and of volcanoes going nuts. I spent 4 of 7 days of research just looking those up. Second place goes to ILITW, not because it was difficult to find spirit and haunted related things, but because I HAD to look them up (and I’m fucking terrified of that shit).

Now going to movies, the biggest pain in my butt was Jake. First off, Jake has TONS AND TONS of fandom favorite FCs, so I had to decide which of them would give me more content. It so happened to be Michiel Huisman (sorry Ben Barnes stans).

Unlike Daniel, with Michiel I found this one single screenshot of him looking something up and was like “this is the movie I gotta find to make Jake real”. And so I looked it up and found 2:22, a sci-fi action movie with none other than Teresa Palmer, a plane that crashes and TONS of action. I had my plate full with it. I could’ve downloaded just the trailer for the movie, but to be honest I saw the scenes and went “I’m going to use everything I can from this” so I downloaded the movie and watched it whole before I started tearing it to pieces. Btw go watch the movie, it’s pretty damn good. I did the same with Liam’s FC.

And then there’s the impossibles: the FCs that have no good clip from an actual movie but tons of interviews and photoshoots recorded in 1080p and that fit their character. It was the case with Maxwell as Xavier Serrano, Olivia as Sophie Turner and Hana as Liu Yifei.

With Xavier the “main problem” was the fact that he is a model. He had no acting background and I had to find “vlog”-type interviews to put him in. At least he had tons of those to spare.

The problem with Sophie was pretty in your face: her only acting jobs were in movies that had nothing to do with Olivia or in Game of Thrones, that was too fictional and didn’t match the tone of Cordonia. Thank the gods for Vogue and their interviews though. She had the perfect one liners Olivia would have and was also dressed for the part.

Now with Hana, I know she isn’t a light-skinned Asian. I had Jamie Chung and tons of other actresses (I think there were 6?) open and none of them had clips that fit Hana. They were either too “aggressive”, too fictional (like Sophie) or with the worst quality ever. And making video edits is a lot different to gifs and icons (unfortunately). I was considering not even including Hana when I came upon this interview  of Liu and I couldn’t imagine another person playing Hana. She had the looks, the outfits, the setting, even the lines that fit her. And note: I didn’t use one single movie that had her, they were all interviews and photoshoots. She fit the bill perfectly.

And that’s pretty much it. It’s the worst and most time consuming part of the trailer making process, but in the end I discover some pretty awesome movies and TV shows (seriously go watch 2:22 and Witches of East End). And that’s also why I always ask people to help out and send their favorite FCs for the trailer. Most of the time I end up using them.

Thanks again for this ask and so sorry for the long response! If you have any other questions involving the process of trailer-making just send them away!

[cancatervation]

favourite music 2017

The affording of enormous weight to barely concealed fragility and vulnerability; when I pore over the contents of my iTunes from the last twelve or so months it’s plainly apparent that this is the hill I’ve elected to die on. Almost all the albums I found myself infatuated with at some point or another in 2017 meditated upon desire, the transience of romance, and the anguish that often accompanies its pursuit.

I’m acutely aware of how oddly this contrasts with my own life, which for the past almost-two-years has been romantically fulfilling in the way that my previous 25 absolutely weren’t. On this, I would say two things. First, that stability is elusive even (maybe especially?) for the most outwardly rose-coloured of us, and that maintaining relationship hygge takes compromise and is not easy, and for those reasons feelings of vulnerability are never far from the front of my mind; and, second, that it’s testament to the skill of certain songwriters and performers that their work was able to make this gay-ass conventionalist really feel something every now and again last year.

I wouldn’t want to suggest that I only just worked out that the theatrical presentation of desire is something I’m drawn to, but certainly there were some things in the past year that I really did begin to understand. Theatricality is often used in a critical sense as pejorative; something that is��too extra, that goes too far, that is all tell and no show. Despite its predisposition towards excess, musical theatre has, for instance, always played out as sterile and spurious to me. (Sorry. And look at it this way, you don’t ever need to worry about getting me tickets to Hamilton). It’s so dramatic that it becomes too dramatic; your self-awareness isn’t allowed the chance to be suspended, even for a moment. An album like Lorde’s Melodrama makes its intentions apparent before you’ve even heard a note of it, but its theatrics (and there are many - think of the wailed chorus of “Writer In The Dark”, the gory car crash of “Homemade Dynamite”, the bridge in “Supercut” that accelerates like you’re on a bike rushing down a hill) are as easily consumed by sitting silently in tears as they are dancing, or walking, or lifting heavy weights, or running up a hill (to make or not to make a deal with God), or lying in blissful supta baddha konasana. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that hyperemotional vulnerability is for all seasons and for all hours of the day and I am now happy to welcome it into every aspect of my life.

I wrote over fifty blurbs for various songs on the Singles Jukebox last year. Some I loved, some I hated, what’s new. I wrote a blurb for “Praying”, Kesha’s first solo single in nearly five years, which turned out to be both the highest scoring song on the site for 2017 and the champion of my personal “list”. I sort of said all this already on the Jukebox, but my love for “Praying” lies nearly entirely in the way Kesha leans so heavily into her aphorisms, finding new ways to bring profundity to ostensibly simple lines like “I’m proud of who I am”. (Contrast this with most of Taylor Swift’s 2017 work, which forewent specific detail in favour of portentously loaded maxim, but forgot about nuance and came up mostly dry). When Kesha punctuates her sermon with a thunderous kick drum, it’s basically game over. As the stories of survivors of sexual assault, abuse and harassment began to dominate news media in the second half of the year, the song only gathered further resonance.  

Lorde’s album held court as my favourite for most of the year. A promo image released by Kelela at the beginning of August threatened a coup. The odds shortened a few days later upon the release of its lead single and the arrival of the full album at the beginning of October marked the tangible takeover. Take Me Apart is all juxtaposition, which when applied to albums is often code for jumbled quagmire, but here there’s too much attention to detail, steadfastness of narrative, and, er, feeling, to get mixed up in anything like that. It see-saws between playful flirting, introspection, self-acceptance, control, loss of control, falling slowly through the sky, and falling fast through the abyss. I love it so much. It’s also very queer and very Black. Support Black queer art! Especially when it’s this well crafted.

Aside from all THAT, my favourite things in music last year were Moses Sumney’s Tiny Desk Concert, attending the Lorde show in the Botanic Gardens,  the line “every single day I fight another war; every single night I feel more powerful!” in Rina Sawayama’s “Take Me As I Am”, and Rihanna telling Diplo his music sounded like a “a reggae song at an airport”.

My ten favourite songs of 2017 were:

1. Kesha “Praying” - as above and here;

2. Lorde “Green Light” - see here. The score given, however, is wrong. Add another point.

3. Sigrid “Strangers” - see here. I can’t wait until she’s everywhere and everyone knows her; her potential to me scans as “unlimited / infinite / fucking enormous, if it must be quantifiable”.

4. MUNA “I Know a Place”. The album version is acceptable but I’m also partial to this live one, which involves some changes to the lyrics.

5. Tove Lo “Disco Tits”. Like a wonky, filthy Kylie B-side played underwater.

6. Kelela “Turn To Dust”. Refer also to the first set of songs below. She didn’t play this at her concert this week, which is lucky, because otherwise its title may have proved prophetic.

7. Nilüfer Yanya “Baby Luv” - see here. See also dirgey diatribe above re: vulnerability.

8. Rae Morris “Do It” - I’ve become more and more besotted with this as time has passed and am not sure whether I’m most impressed by a) the wordplay b) the ping-ponging percussion in the second verse c) the subtle yet giant switch-up halfway through d) the soaring vocals or e) managing all of the above in less than 3 and a half minutes.

9. Rina Sawayama “Alterlife” - it did not take me long to request for lamination of a stan card for a popstar who loves key changes and here deftly incorporates influences as diverse as the Need For Speed soundtrack, Samantha Mumba and Madonna at her glassiest.

10. Tove Styrke “Mistakes” - see here. I’m ready for her to run away with 2018, in or out of a wedding dress.

Aside from those, here are some other songs I enjoyed in 2017, variously categorised and (with the “top 10″) collected in a Spotify playlist, located here:

Songs that can make you feel like you’re floating slowly heavenward

Björk “Arisen My Senses”

Charli XCX “Track 10”

Julie Byrne “Natural Blue”

Julien Baker “Appointments”

Moses Sumney “Quarrel”

Rae Morris “Do It (Nico Muhly Dance Remix)”

Sampha “(No One Knows Me) Like The Piano”

Sevdaliza “Loves Way”

Slowdive “Slomo”

St. Vincent “Slow Disco”

Susanne Sundfør “Undercover”

Dance music that I barely pay any attention to throughout the calendar year and then become unusually enthusiastic about come end-of-year-list season

Bicep “Vale”

Gerd Janson x Shan "Surrender”

Honey Dijon “Catch The Beat”

Jad & The “Strings That Never Win”

Kink “Perth”

Minor Science “Volumes”

Octo Octa “Adrift (Avalon Emerson’s Furiously Awake Version)”

Shanti Celeste “Make Time”

SW. “Untitled B2”

The xx “On Hold (Jamie xx Remix)”

Yaeji “Raingurl”

Songs for the summer gloaming

Charlotte Day Wilson “Doubt”

Daniel Caesar “Blessed”

Frank Ocean “Chanel”

Jessie Ware “Stay Awake, Wait For Me”

Ladi6 “Guru”

Rachel Foxx “Happen To Me”

Sampa The Great “Bye River”

Sevyn Streeter “Before I Do”

Syd “Body”

Tyler, The Creator “Garden Shed feat. Estelle”

Plaintive songs for grey afternoon walks

Alvvays “Dreams Tonite”

Amandla Stenberg “Let My Baby Stay”

HAIM “You Never Knew”

Kehlani “Advice”

Khalid “Winter”

Lana Del Rey “Love”

Laura Marling “Next Time”

Paramore “Forgiveness”

Perfume Genius “Die 4 You”

St. Vincent “Happy Birthday, Johnny”

SZA “Prom”

Taylor Swift “New Year’s Day”

Best bangers

Amber Mark “Heatwave”

Charli XCX “Lipgloss feat. Cupcakke”

Charli XCX “Porsche feat. MØ”

Charlotte Gainsbourg “Deadly Valentine”

Charly Bliss “Glitter”

Drake “Get It Together feat. Jorja Smith & Black Coffee”

Dua Lipa “New Rules”

Haiku Hands “Not About You”

Ibibio Sound Machine “Give Me A Reason”

ionnalee “Samaritan”

J. Balvin x Willy William “Mi Gente feat. Beyoncé”

J. Hus “Did You See”

Jessie Ware “Your Domino”

Jorja Smith x Preditah “On My Mind”

Kah-Lo “Fasta”

Kelela “Truth Or Dare”

Kendrick Lamar “LOYALTY. feat. Rihanna”

Kllo “Last Yearn”

Leikeli47 “Miss Me”

Lorde “Sober”

Maliibu Miitch “4AM”

Miguel “Banana Clip”

Nite Jewel “2 Good 2 Be True”

Paramore “Hard Times”

Phoenix “J-Boy”

Rina Sawayama “Take Me As I Am”

Ronika “Better Than Ever”

Rose Elinor Dougall “All At Once”

Sigrid “Don’t Kill My Vibe”

Stormzy “Big For Your Boots”

The Horrors “Something To Remember Me By”

Tove Lo “Shedontknowbutsheknows”

Whethan “love gang feat. Charli XCX”

Wolf Alice “Don’t Delete The Kisses”

Finally, here are thirty albums I loved last year. Onwards and upwards!

1. Kelela Take Me Apart

2. Lorde Melodrama

3. SZA Ctrl

4. Fever Ray Plunge

5. Charly Bliss Guppy

6. Wolf Alice Visions Of A Life

7. Rina Sawayama RINA

8. Jessie Ware Glasshouse

9. Tove Lo Blue Lips

10. Charli XCX Pop 2

11. MUNA about u

12. Moses Sumney Aromanticism

13. Sevdaliza ISON

14. St Vincent MASSEDUCTION

15. Susanne Sundfør Music For People In Trouble

16. Ibeyi Ash

17. Sampa The Great Birds & The Bee9

18. Kink Playground

19. Daniel Caesar Freudian

20. Bicep Bicep

21. Sophia Kennedy - Sophia Kennedy

22. Miguel War & Leisure

23. Laura Marling Semper Femina

24. Ibibio Sound Machine Uyai

25. Jen Cloher Jen Cloher

26. Dua Lipa Dua Lipa

27. The xx I See You

28. Honey Dijon The Best Of Both Worlds

29. Kesha Rainbow

30. Leikeli47 Wash & Set

[thatshighlyoffensive]

That’s Highly Offensive: 2018 Golden Globes

Y’all know I only wear all black all the time, so I find the fact that Hollywood is "uniting" against whatever tonight by wearing all black to be kind of a stupid way to pussy foot around the issue, but who asked me? This should have been a night when the carpet looked the way I think it should at all times, but honestly, a lot of stuff looked makeshift and cheap to me. And WHAT was with all the skirts-over-pants nonsense?? I thought that was over. Also, forgive the overuse of the funeral garb schtick but what choice did I have?

Wow. It's rare that the first look I see ends up being the worst dressed of the night, but Debra Messing has just taken the cake, eaten it, made another cake, eaten that, made another one, and took that too. I know it's cliché but MESSing says it all. #thefacesofmeth That emerald eyeshadow and those Elvira for Family Dollar false lashes!!  And WHAT is that dent in her forehead?? I’ll tell you what it is… bad Botox. Or Juvaderm. Or whatever expired baby bunny cartilage her dermo found in Karen Walker’s dumpster. Oh and also, she’s wearing the dress version of Liza’s putty kkk hood shoes and it’s  all HIGHLY offensive.

Kelly Clarkson- "From Justin to King Midas" if King Midas was a lizard...

Kristin Cavallari went as 1999 Oscars Angelina Jolie but with a ballerina's bun and I'm not ok with it.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about Tracee Ellis Ross’s outfit. The phrase ‘Charmin Noir’ comes to mind, but let’s not bc you know how much I love a turban/wrap!

Meryl Streep: You bore me to tears. I like your glasses.

It seems to be literally KILLING Giuliana Rancid that she can’t ask “Who are you wearing?” bc she is incapable of NOT pointing out the fact that she’s not asking that question to every person she's interviewed. And as always, she looks like the Queen from Antz but this year her skin is a particularly orange shade of Oscar Meyer all beef frank. She also has one of the most bulbous horse hair dino ponytails I’ve ever seen. She's like the anorexic version of Starla from Napoleon Dynamite. AND HER TAN LINES! I didn't know you got those from bottled self tanner...

Catherine Zeta Jones: I am still obsessed with CZJ even after recently rewatching Ocean’s Twelve for the first time since Cat and I fell asleep in the theater. Her face, her body, her dress, her earrings, her love for her thousand year old father in law… I am fully behind all of it!

Penelope Cruz: See above. #stunning

I don't know who this woman from Outlander is but I do know she better be on her way to audition at Tweetsie Railroad.

Connie Britton: NO.

Jessica Biel and J. Tim- don’t NO ONE CARE. I don’t know one person who watched ‘The Sinner’ (most people didn’t even know what I was talking about when I asked if they’d heard of it), so the fact that she is nominated is a testament to that Sexy Back money and nothing more. Just her talking about being a producer of the show is like… We get it…you’re the only one who would pay you to be an actress anymore. PS, your arms are fabulous.

Mandy Candy Moore: Olé!

Holy shit Diane Kruger looks amazing.

Unfortunately, Sarah Paulson is one of those I feel looks like she's in something cheap. Really cheap. Like she stole a leotard from the Xanadu Mourning collection and wrapped a table cloth around herself. And I can't say I love the choppiness of her bob.

Michele Williams- I’m still not over how ridiculous you looked on Dawson’s Creek, but your pixie has grown on me over the last few years but OHMYGOD what is that shelf in the back? Lloyd Christmas called…

Seth Myers looks like the singing sword and a foot had a baby and named it Cheremy.

Jamie Chung- First of all, why are you here? Secondly, you look like the winner of a ‘Grunge Bride’ themed stripper contest sponsored by Hefty in 2002. Those shoes….

Alexis Bledel- Let’s get this out of the way: I can’t stand you. You’re a mumbler with creepy Kewpie doll eyes and mouth. But as for what you’re wearing, GASP you’re not wearing solid black so you obviously don’t care about women!! But also, you must not care about yourself either because you look like one of Ariel’s sisters and Dionysus had a baby and it came out haunted.

Why is Dave Franco wearing so much rouge????

Alison Brie- Ok, you can channel Audrey Hepburn, I guess. Although her dress does resemble my senior prom dress from Cache. Oh wait- there’s a pants leg. You’re trash.

William H. Macy: Did Grubby die? That’s the only reason I can think of for Teddy Ruxpin to show up to the Golden Globes in all black…

Gal Gadot is clearly going to an audition for "A Chorus Line" after the Globes. Why else would she steal a maitre'd's jacket and cut it in half?

Saoirse Ronan looks perfect all around. I need all of it immediately, even though I’d look more like Bruce Villanche dressed in drag doing a David Bowie tribute than her svelte awesomeness…

Eva Longoria looks like a pregnant Sharpie.

It took me a solid 3 seconds & a glance at the caption to figure out I was looking at Halle Berry and not some mixed berry bag of Skittles from a prom themed episode of the CW’s Gossip Girl revival. And her bangs look gross and ridiculous. #whywontsheage??

I take it back: Reese Witherspoon looks like the pregnant Sharpie. Or maybe her daughter has decided to become a fashion designer and this was her first foray into an origami—inspired collection? #blacktobasics

Nicole Kidman (or Nicky Kickin it in the Moulin Rouge, as Jack McFarland calls her) looks flawless, as always. The one negative thing I will say is that I find flutter fly cap sleeves to be among the most offensive things in adult female fashion (mainly because the only humans that can pull them off are pre-teens, anorexics and Kate Moss (not that she’d ever wear them).

Viola Davis wins everything. Omg that hair and makeup and jewelry and dress. ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Did Zac-without-a-K Efron want people to mistake him for Milo Ventimiglia? Is that the reason for the mustache? Why is he even there? GASP! Are they already remaking High School Musical (because you know that’s in the works…) with him starring as Troy again?!? #prayerhands

Why exactly is Naomi Campbell at the Golden Globes, must less in a piece from the never-to-be-seen sketches Vivienne Westwood did for Guy Richie’s new pandering remake starring Madonna as Herlock Holmes?

Lily James- You are gorgeous perfection and I mean that because anyone that stars in a live action Disney remake is automatically on my shit list (I’m looking at you, Emmas Stone and Watson…) but what the actual hell are you wearing? You look like a Project Runway contestant’s submission on the theme “Maleficent’s entrance to the party.”

Octavia Spencer looks like the teacher who got to play Glinda’s role in a #metoo fundraising, high school production of Wicked after the lead was stricken with mono.

Greta Gerwig- I’m tempted to allow it, but only if you’re intentionally channeling Marchesa Luisa Casati.

Angelina Jolie- oh. my. god. I know I’m biased (as one of her long lost, adopted children she’s never acknowledged or heard of) but I cannot say one bad thing about this, especially since I’ve been in 100% Bombshell  Manual mode lately and anything with feathers or frills or femininity is giving me LIFE. #bestdressed

Elizabeth Moss: from Polly to Pollyana. Anyone that gets that is my lifelong friend and anyone that doesn’t please never talk to me again. But seriously honey, that waistline is not your friend.

Jessica Chastain- I think I love everything about this but am i crazy or does it make her look a little bulky? Tell me I’m crazy. I’m crazy. (Narrator: She was definitely crazy.)

omg Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing the same Castle Greyskull, droopy-sleeve of wizard-vagine garment as Debra Messing! Is this a thing?? Gross. And those earrings are stupid too but I don’t know why.

Emilia Clarke is perfection (minus the bow but moving on) and I don’t even love GOT.

Geena Davis stole one of CZJ’S costumes from Chicago and i can’t say that I’m angry. I will say that I’m angry that the head designer at LOFT got hold of it and added a few of those filthy lace panels before she walked the red carpet, but since she still looks pretty flawless…I’LL ALLOW IT.

As always, Lena Headey looks like the drunk, badass aunt who was a groupie before falling into acting so I love her even more than when she gets drunk and sets people on fire on tv. The dress does look like something a goth would make to wear to a Renaissance fair, but who cares when she looks that cool in it?

I love Margot Robbie more than almost anyone in Hollywood today (even though she stole my life’s dream of playing Tonya Harding. Seriously, I’d started writing a short right before they announced that movie and I’m not even kidding), but I can’t say i know exactly what she was going for with this look… an Elsa-possessed mistletoe over her womb to subtly announce she’s expecting? A tribute to the portion of Fantasia where fairies ice skate to ‘Waltz of the Flowers’ as a nod to the ice goddess she plays in ‘I, Tonya?’ I’ve been staring at it for a few minutes now and can honestly say I have no clue.

Gwendolyn Christie- I have no idea what you are wearing but I do know that I am obsessed with your GOT character so you have my permission to do whatever you please.

Kerry Washington unfortunately looks like some anorexic basic at her junior prom. And those floral net booties are what a leprechaun wears to a funeral. wtf. Oh but her hair is on point.

Kate Hudson- Je refuse.

Chris Hemsworth can do no wrong even in a suit made from a brocade table cloth and VELVETEEN shoes so don’t even worry about it, honey.

Michelle Pfeiffer- omg i am heartbroken over how matronly you look!! As anyone who knows me knows, my mother could pass as your identical twin, so I take it kind of personally when you show up on the red carpet dressed as Marian the librarian’s widowed sister, Ovarian.

Zoe Kravtiz- Sweetie, it’s already been done and its name was Natalie Portman. A chunky, funky  emerald earring does make you look like Audrey Hepburn's edgy cousin though. Whatever- you still look gorgeous and I love you.

Kendall Jenner- There are so many things wrong with your look, much less your existence, but I’ll just sum it up with this: T. STRAPPED. POINTY. TOED. SHOES. Also, lay off the brow botox before you look like Debra Messing, or worse, Kylie Jenner. #gasp

Sarah Jessica Parker literally went as her character from Hocus Pocus attending a funeral.

Isabelle Huppert wins the night! Nope, spoke too soon. Her dress has those damned flutter sleeves on it too! What IS that? It’s trash, is what it is…

Roseanne Barr forgot to put a dress over her Spanx…

Ok, that's all I got. I barely watched any of the actual show bc I can't with most of those self important a-holes, so I can't comment on anything "exciting" or "interesting" that might have happened. Let me know if I missed anything highly offensive🥂

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