#last one made me almost pass out a few times

[mcrdvcks]

what are hands for?

chapter summary: After an offhand comment from your father shakes your confidence, you find yourself spiraling into self-doubt.

word count: 2.4k+

pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader

notes: i'm not even gonna lie, this is extremely self-indulgent. i've barely been home for a week and my dad's already called me fat once and it definitely won't be the last time

anyways, i basically wrote this for myself but i thought i'd share it because i know for some people, being home for the holidays is rough! and the only thing i need is for logan to tell me he loves me and everything would be perfect

warnings/tags: insecure!reader, reader has a brother, skipping meals, implied that reader has received rude comments from family before, reader describes herself as 5'7" and over 200 lbs one time (like i said, self-indulgent), curvy!reader, angst, fluff

You have always had mixed feelings about going to your parents’ house for the holidays, or even during your breaks during college. You loved home, it was where you grew up so naturally you were supposed to love it.

But you also hated it. Hated the comments, the looks, the yelling—all of it.

And somehow here you were, standing in your parent’s quaint house, your younger brother and his girlfriend already in the dining room helping your mom with dinner while your dad greeted you and Logan.

"Hey, kiddo," your dad said, pulling you into a quick, half-hearted hug before turning to Logan with a small smile. "Logan. Good to see you again."

Logan gave a polite nod. "Good to see you too, sir."

Your dad’s gaze flicked between the two of you for a moment before gesturing toward the dining room. "Everyone’s in there. Why don’t you join them? Dinner’s almost ready."

Logan looked at you briefly, a silent check-in, before heading off. "I’ll go see if they need help," he murmured, squeezing your hand lightly as he passed.

The air shifted the second Logan stepped out of earshot. Your dad turned back to you, giving you a once-over that was a little too long for comfort.

"You’ve put on a little weight, haven’t you?" he asked, his tone casual, as if he hadn’t just landed a verbal punch to your gut. "Must be all that mansion food."

Your chest tightened, heat creeping up your neck. You opened your mouth to respond—what, you weren’t sure—but he didn’t wait for an answer. He just patted your shoulder like it was nothing, muttered something about checking on the turkey, and walked off, leaving you standing there alone.

In the back of your mind, you knew you should’ve put on a different shirt, this one was just a tad bit too tight. But it was one of Logan’s favorite’s, so you didn’t pay too much attention to it.

You pulled on your blouse a few times, trying to get it to not stick to your stomach before walking into the dining room like you always did when you were younger, with a fake smile.

---

You huffed, yanking the seventh shirt over your head and tossing it onto the growing pile on the bed. Nothing looked right—nothing felt right. Every shirt clung too much, hung awkwardly, or just didn’t sit right. And with each outfit failure, the voice in your head grew louder, echoing your dad’s casual remark.

You tugged at the hem of your tank top, staring at your reflection in the mirror with narrowed eyes. “Stupid,” you muttered, turning to the side to inspect your profile. “It’s just a shirt. It’s fine.” But it didn’t feel fine.

After another long minute, you grabbed a loose hoodie from the closet and pulled it on, letting it drown you. It wasn’t what you’d planned to wear, but at least it hid everything you didn’t want to see.

You made your way downstairs to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast before your class. On the counter were a box of donuts, and without thinking you grabbed the two you normally did in a napkin and made your way out.

But not before pausing at the doorway, a bite already taken out of one donut as you looked down at the food in your hand. You took another bite and threw both away, making your way to your classroom before the kids got there.

You got to the classroom a good twenty minutes early, dropping your bag onto the desk with a sigh. The hoodie you’d thrown on still felt too heavy, too obvious, but you didn’t have the energy to deal with it right now. The two bites of the donut you’d managed to eat sat like a stone in your stomach.

You busied yourself setting up for the day, pulling worksheets out of your bag and lining them up on the desk. It wasn’t much, but focusing on something, anything, kept your mind from wandering too far down the spiral. The kids would be filing in soon, their chatter filling the space, and that would make it easier. It always did.

But for now, the silence was suffocating.

There was a soft knock on the doorframe, and you looked up, expecting one of the students. Instead, it was Ororo. She leaned casually against the frame, a warm, curious smile on her face.

“Morning, Y/N,” she greeted, stepping into the room. “You’re here early. Everything okay?”

You forced a smile, nodding as you shuffled a few papers around unnecessarily. “Yeah, just… wanted to get a head start. You know how Mondays are.”

Ororo tilted her head, clearly unconvinced but kind enough not to push. “If you say so,” she said, her tone light but probing. Her gaze swept over you, lingering for just a second on the oversized hoodie before she caught herself. “Well, let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do. Thanks, ‘Ro.” You gave her another tight-lipped smile, hoping it looked more convincing than it felt.

She hesitated for a beat before nodding and stepping back into the hallway. As soon as she was gone, you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

The classroom slowly came to life as the students trickled in, their energy filling the room and pushing your thoughts to the background. By the time the lesson was underway, you were almost able to pretend nothing was wrong. Almost.

It wasn’t until later that day, during lunch, that it all came rushing back. The teachers’ lounge was unusually crowded, laughter and conversations bouncing off the walls. You slipped in quietly, grabbing a bottle of water and a granola bar from the counter before finding a corner to sit in.

From across the room, Logan caught your eye. He was leaning back in one of the chairs, arms crossed, but the second he saw you, his expression softened. He gave you a small nod—his way of checking in. You nodded back, offering a faint smile.

You didn’t miss the way his brow furrowed slightly, though, or the way his gaze lingered for just a moment too long before he turned back to his conversation with Scott. It wasn’t like Logan to hover or push, but you knew he noticed things. And he never let them go.

---

After classes you went into the kitchen to put your mug in the sink from hours ago. Out of habit, you grabbed a few cookies Ororo had made yesterday before stopping yourself.

You stared at the cookies in your hand, your frown deepening as your dad’s words replayed in your mind like a broken record. Your stomach churned, and for a moment, you felt like throwing the cookies straight into the trash.

“What’d those cookies ever do to you, darlin’?” Logan’s voice startled you from your thoughts. You turned to see him leaning casually against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. His gaze wasn’t accusing, just… observant.

You hesitated, gripping the cookies tighter. “Nothing,” you muttered, trying to sound nonchalant. “Just… wasn’t really hungry.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, pushing off the doorframe to step into the kitchen. “Didn’t seem like you were thinkin’ about that a second ago,” he said, his tone teasing but gentle. “Something on your mind?”

You shook your head quickly, putting the cookies back on the plate. “Nope. Just tired. Long day.”

He didn’t look convinced. Logan had a way of reading you like an open book, and you hated it sometimes. Hated how hard it was to hide from him, even when you wanted to.

“Darlin’…” His voice was softer now, his hand reaching out to brush yours. “What’s goin’ on?”

You sighed, leaning against the counter and crossing your arms. “It’s nothing, Logan. Seriously.”

He stepped closer, tilting his head to meet your eyes. “Y/N, you know I don’t buy that. You’ve been off since we got back from your folks’ place.” His voice was low, steady. “Talk to me.”

You hesitated, chewing the inside of your cheek. The last thing you wanted was to unload all this on him. But the look in his eyes—genuine, steady, patient—made it impossible to deflect.

“It’s just… something my dad said,” you admitted finally, your voice barely above a whisper.

Logan’s jaw tightened, his expression hardening. “What’d he say?”

“It’s not a big deal—”

“Y/N.” His tone was firm, but not unkind. “What’d he say?”

You exhaled sharply, avoiding his gaze. “He… made a comment about my weight,” you mumbled, feeling your face heat up. “Said I’ve been eating too much mansion food.”

Logan’s expression darkened, his brows knitting together. “He said that?” His voice was low, dangerous. You nodded, still not looking at him. “That’s bullshit,” he muttered, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.

“It’s not—he didn’t mean it like that,” you tried to defend weakly, though you weren’t sure why. “It’s just how he is. And, it’s not like he’s wrong either, I could lose some weight. I’m 5’7” and over 200 pounds, and sometimes my old pants don’t even go over my thighs or hips. And—”

Logan held up a hand, cutting you off gently but firmly. “Alright, stop. Just stop.” His voice was low, steady, but there was a protective edge to it. “First off, I don’t give a damn what your old pants fit like. And second, your dad? He’s got no right to talk to you like that. None.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but Logan stepped closer, tilting his head to meet your gaze. “Nope. Not hearin’ it, Y/N. You’re sittin’ here pickin’ yourself apart ‘cause of some stupid thing he said, and that’s not fair. Not to you.”

“But he’s not wrong,” you muttered, looking away. “I mean, look at me. I’m—”

“Perfect,” Logan interrupted, his voice firm. “You’re perfect. And I don’t wanna hear you say otherwise.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “You’re just saying that.”

“Do I look like the kind of guy who just says things?” Logan shot back, raising an eyebrow. “Princess, I’m the last person to sugarcoat anything.”

You hesitated, your arms crossed tightly over your chest. Logan sighed, stepping closer and resting his hands lightly on your hips. “Y/N, you’re strong. You’re smart. And yeah, you’ve got curves—and I happen to like ‘em. A lot.”

Your face heated at his words, but Logan wasn’t done. He gave your hips a gentle squeeze, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You think I’d be standin’ here, chasin’ after you, if I didn’t think you were incredible? Come on now.”

“I’m not fishing for compliments, Logan,” you said quietly, still not quite meeting his eyes.

“I know you’re not,” he replied. “But I’m givin’ ‘em anyway, ‘cause you need to hear it. And because it’s the damn truth.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, despite yourself. Logan grinned, clearly pleased to have gotten a reaction out of you. “There’s that smile,” he said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “Missed that.”

The knot in your chest loosened just a bit, and you let out a shaky sigh. “Thanks, Logan,” you murmured. “I just… I don’t feel like myself sometimes, you know?”

“I get it,” Logan said, his voice softer now. “We all got our crap to deal with. But you don’t gotta deal with it alone. Not when I’m here.”

You gave him a small nod, the corners of your mouth twitching upward. Logan’s smirk returned, and his hands slid from your hips to the curve of your thighs, his fingers grazing lightly. “Besides,” he said, his tone turning teasing, “you know what these thighs are for, right?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

He grinned, his hands squeezing gently before lifting you up. “For my hands. Nothin’ else they need to do, far as I’m concerned.”

You yelped in surprise, grabbing onto his shoulders. “Logan! Put me down!”

“Nope,” he said, a smug grin plastered on his face. “Not until you stop talkin’ nonsense about yourself.”

You glared at him, though the heat rushing to your cheeks betrayed your indignation. “I’m serious, Logan. I’m not exactly lightweight—”

“Good thing I’m not exactly weak,” he interrupted smoothly, his grin widening. “You think a couple extra pounds are gonna make me break a sweat? Sweetheart, I’ve fought Sentinels and lived to tell the tale. Trust me, I got this.”

You groaned, your hands tightening on his shoulders as he adjusted his grip, holding you securely. “This is ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous is you thinkin’ you’re anything less than perfect,” Logan countered, his tone softening just a bit. “Now, you gonna stop beatin’ yourself up, or am I gonna have to carry you around all day until you do?”

“Logan, we’re in the kitchen,” you hissed, glancing toward the doorway. “What if someone walks in?”

“Let ‘em,” he said with a shrug. “Not like they don’t already know you’re my girl.” He leaned in closer, his nose brushing against yours. “Besides, anyone’s got a problem with me lovin’ on you? They can take it up with me.”

You huffed, but your lips twitched into a reluctant smile. “You’re impossible.”

“Yeah, but you like me anyway,” he teased, setting you down gently but keeping his hands on your hips. “Now, what do you say we grab those cookies and actually enjoy ‘em? ‘Ro made ‘em for us, after all.”

Your gaze flicked to the plate of cookies, and for a moment, doubt crept back in. But Logan’s steady hands on your hips and the unwavering warmth in his eyes grounded you. “Okay,” you said softly. “Let’s eat the cookies.”

“That’s my girl,” Logan said, pressing a kiss to your forehead before reaching for the plate. He handed you one, grabbing one for himself, and took a big bite, chewing with exaggerated enthusiasm. “Damn, these are good. Think she’d notice if we finished the whole plate?”

You laughed, the sound lighter than it had felt all day. “Pretty sure she’d kill us.”

“Worth it,” he said with a smirk, taking another bite.

You rolled your eyes but bit into your cookie, letting the sweetness melt on your tongue. For the first time in what felt like days, the weight on your chest eased just a little.

And when Logan leaned in to steal a crumb from the corner of your mouth, you couldn’t even find it in yourself to protest.

[moosesarecute]

December 21st: Winter Solstice

December Masterlist

Masterlist

For the first few hours, flying home had been amazing.

The wind in your hair. The way your wings helped you get where you wanted to go.

And especially, the way Azriel was within a wings-length at all times.

You flew beside him or below him or above him. It didn’t matter where, but you were the closest you could be while still flying.

Both of you had for the most part finished crying. The conversation had gone over to laughter and joy.

Both were focused on just taking in the feeling of flying together, but every now and then you would stop in the air and exchange small kisses.

Flying had always been your thing. Even as children, you and Az would go flying together.

Rhys and Cass was too advanced for the two of you. Even though you usually started the flying together, they would leave you and Az after just a few minutes. You and Az would grow together.

Azriel had of course spent most of his childhood with his wings tied, so he hadn’t been able to fly. You had grown up with a mother with clipped wings and a father that thought females shouldn’t fly. Your mother’s closeness to the Lady of Night was the only thing that kept your wings from being clipped.

You and Azriel would fly everyday and each day lead to longer flights.

You both got so proud every time you managed to stay longer in the air. So eventually, flying became your safe place. Even though Azriel spent most of the day training and you were sewing, not a day went by without at least a small flight.

It was something you had brought with you through your friendship, your marriage and as mates. Sometimes it was totally quiet and other times you were talking and laughing. You even went flying during the days of your biggest fight. Even though you were pissed at each other, you still spent a few minutes together up in the air.

Flying was your favorite thing to do.

But after a while, three years without regular flying became harder to ignore. Stretching out your wings became harder and harder. Your back started to cramp and you got more and more twitching.

You and Azriel had taken a longer break on the small island you had slept on last time you were flying to Prythian, but that only made things worse. When you were going to start flying again, you struggled even getting off the ground.

Azriel had of course asked you several times if you needed help, but you were just a little too stubborn to say yes.

That was until a sudden gust of strong wind almost knocked you out of the air and into the ocean.

Azriel was as always on high alert and caught you before you got hurt or wet.

“Thank you,” you told him. “You can let go of me now, love.”

However, as you tried to move out of Azriel’s arms, his embrace only tightened.

“Please, just let me hold you. For my sake. I know you can fly yourself, but I just need to have you close.”

You both knew he was lying, a little at least, but you let him get his will.

Sinking into his arms was just what you needed. You leaned your head onto his chest and slowly fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

Just before you fell asleep you felt a loving kiss to the top of your head and a small whisper.

“Sleep well, my dearest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

It was the most beautiful words you have ever heard.

Seeing Velaris broke you once more. You lasted about half a second trying to keep in your sobs.

It was the city you loved. When the boys first introduced it to you, you fell in love immediately. Having to leave after your first visit was awful.

“I remember how huge your eyes were when you first saw this,” Azriel said. He was still holding you. How he had managed to hold you for over three hours while flying and shadow-walking was impossible for you to tell, but it felt so safe.

“I can’t believe you managed to keep it a secret for so long,” you told him back. “Especially Cassian.”

The first Starfall after your mother passed was one you were sure you would spend alone. That was until Rhys came to Windhaven and picked you up.

The boys had celebrated both Winter Solstice and Starfall in Velaris for many years before you joined them. To this day it still shocked you how they managed to keep shut about the city.

“I know you want to see the rest of our family, but can we please just see a healer first?”

The concern in Azriel’s eyes was what made you say yes.

Both of you hated interrupting Madja’s celebration of Winter Solstice, but Azriel was too worried to wait.

“Thank the mother,” Madja breathed out as she saw you.

She was almost more concerned than Azriel as she did every single check she could think of.

“I know she’s your mate, shadowsinger, but it would be easier to examine her if I was able to see her.”

The second Madja had gotten closer than a meter to you, Azriel’s shadows had covered you completely. Even though Azriel tried his hardest to keep them away from you, it took you almost five minutes of comforting them before they let Madja even touch you.

“You’re a little too thin and dehydrated, but I can’t find anything will give permanent damage. Make sure you spend a lot of time resting and come back in a week’s time. No training, missions or work before I say so.”

Azriel seemed relieved at her words. Both that you were okay and that you needed to rest. He definitely needed rest too.

In the River House everyone sat waiting.

Not a single present had been opened.

Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, Nesta, Elain, Mor and Amren had been sitting in total silence for quite a while.

Someone was missing.

When Azriel didn’t show up to the snowball fight that morning, the family started to worry.

They had went through all of Velaris to look after him. Rhys had even winnowed to Windhaven. Mor and Feyre had looked in The Middle.

They could find no trace.

“Can you try once more,” Cassian asked Rhys.

Neither Rhys or Feyre had gotten to Azriel with their daemati powers.

It was visible that they both tried, but eventually both shook their heads.

Azriel hadn’t spent Winter Solstice evening with them since you disappeared, but he had delivered presents and joined the snowball fight last year.

This year, no one had heard from him in almost a week.

They all thought the worst. They had for a while now. But at the same time, they hoped he would be there that day. They didn’t think he’d want to do it so close to the holiday you loved so much.

“He seemed hopeful! We made cookies!” Cassian said aloud with a tearful voice.

“Maybe he found out that he got his hopes up for nothing and couldn’t take it anymore,” Rhys said.

Missing a family member is always hard, but missing them around this time of year tends to be so much harder.

No one spoke for a while longer.

However, they all almost jumped out of their seats as they heard the door to the River House open. None of them moved. They heard one set of footsteps and a hushed voice.

However, as the door to the living room opened the clock struck twelve.

Taglist: @prettylittlewrites @hailqueenconquer @onebadassunicorn @mich0731 @tele86 @mellowmusings @anarchiii @anainkandpaper @donnadiddadog @atomictyphoonkitten @annablack @graciepies @salvatoresister1 @nastylicious @plants-w0rld @stqrgirlies-blog @scoliobean @kbear8863

Dividers by @issysh3ll

[dsybouquet]

cant stop thinking about art atelier owner! ellie who recently moved the atelier to a bigger and prettier place.

the former flower shop has stood empty for years since the old lady running it has turned too old. when ellie bought the place from her, she saw the sadness behind the woman’s eyes who spent decades of her life in the building and now had to leave it behind. therefore ellie made the promise to keep the place im a good shape.

that being said, ellie stood by her word. couple of months have passed and the atelier is almost finished. she was missing some things here and there, but the time will bring them in - or rather, her local delivery girl will.

it was a cold november day and you regretted showing up at work. since christmas was approaching, the amount of packages was nearly unbearable. you stopped the mail-vehicle and put your head on the steering wheel. “think about the money, ______.”, you reminded yourself before grabbing the letters from the box next to you.

“williams?”, you whispered to yourself, clearly remembering that the shop belonged to a elderly woman named sophie thomson.

looking at your handscanner, you saw that you also had three packages to deliver at the adress.

thinking nothing of it, you got out of the vehicle. the cold air was immediately piercing your fingers and you wrapped your scarf closer around your neck. the side door slid open and you took the four packages all adress to ‘ellie williams - williams’ atelier’

odd, you thought, but you scanned them in and made your way inside. it was completely renovated. the walls, that used to have a flowery wallpaper, are now painted in a dark green tone, that made the atmosphere super mysterious. brown armchairs and a retro looking glass table, that was littered with art magazines, stood next to the entrance. it felt like a lobby.

“hello? im here to deliver a package.”, you called out, placing the packages on the nearby counter.

“coming!”, you heard a woman reply.

rushing from the backdoor was a woman, approximately around the age of 25. her hair was half up in a messy bun, possibly to keep it out of her face. she wore a beat down overall that was covered in paint stains.

“sorry, didn’t hear ya coming in.”, she then said, looking at you with her piercing eyes. for a second you were just staring at her tattoos, her face and her eyes.

“y-yeah don’t worry! i just need a signature for one of these.”, you fumbled on the handscanner. “can i ask your name, so i can type it in?”

“ellie williams.”, she responded, leaning against the counter, eyeing you.

“alright, miss williams, i need you to sign right on the display and then we’re done.”, you smiled, holding the scanner out to her.

she signed with a smile on her face, and placed the packages on the backdoor.

“hey! i have a few more orders coming in in the next weeks. also some furniture. if anything is too heavy just come in and yell. i will make sure to help you.”, she said, walking back to you.

this wasn’t the last time you had to go to the atelier. actually, mrs. williams was ordering a lot. you always wanted to roll your eyes when you’re collages commented how many packages the adress had, but you couldn’t.

after some time passed, she would eventually start to offer you a cup of coffee or some sweets. eventually you would drop calling her mrs. williams and call her ellie or els.

“what are your opening hours between christmas and new year?”, you asked as you placed her packages on the counter and clicked the ‘recipient’ button to confirm the package delivery.

“we’re closed, but just ring the door bell as i will be here sometimes. maybe you can catch me.”, she smiled and grabbed your to go coffee cup to refill it for you - something that she started to do last week.

“______, wait here for a second.”, she then said, turning her back to you and jogging towards the backdoor. “i got you a little something.”

she handed you a dark green, christmas themed giftbag filled with some chocolate and a little canvas. “thank you for your hard work and for carrying my heavy furniture in here”

“thank you, els.”, you smiled.

back in your car, you looked at the little envelope in the bag. there was a card inside, littered with christmas wishes and..

ellies number at the bottom of it. ‘text me if you see this xx’

[holylulusworld]

Christmas Together

Summary: You share your first Christmas with Clark.

Pairing: Clark Kent x fem!Reader

Warnings: shy reader, Christmas fluff, fluff, mentions of sex

Catch up here: Alone again - Naturally, Not alone any longer & Together alone

Six months after your last encounter with Lois, you feel—you can’t even describe how you feel. At least, not with a single word. Free. Happy. Valued. Desired. Loved.

The first time you made love, Clark was almost shy.

Both of you touch-starved, you spend hours with kisses and exploring each other’s bodies before he sinks into you. He was gentle yet passionate.

The moment you scratched his back and begged him to make you his, Clark became possessive. He didn’t stop until you came for a third time and passed out on him.

From that night on, you never slept without Clark by your side. When he asked you only three weeks later to move in with him, you didn’t hesitate. You didn’t know why, but you felt like you belonged for the first time in your life.

Clark had this large farm, waiting for you to bring life to it. His mother moved away years back, too sad about the loss of her beloved husband.

It wasn’t too complicated for him to fly back to Metropolis in the blink of an eye to be on time for work. Your boss at the online magazine didn’t care where you were working from. A stable internet connection and your laptop were all you needed to keep your job.

In only a few months, you made a home out of the deserted place. A dog and a cat joined your and Clark’s life soon after you moved into the farmhouse.

Clark named the dog Krypto, and you named the cat Streaky. You chuckled at your choice, but you kind of liked that their names were extraordinary like your boyfriend's.

“Krypto, how about we go for a walk?” You call for your dog. You’re done with work this week. Clark is still in Metropolis, working on an important article. “We can decorate the house some more later. Clark wants to get the tree with us.”

Krypto barks at the cat before pouncing on you to lick your face. He jumps up at you, licking and kissing your face.

“Krypto, no,” you giggle and laugh. “We can cuddle later. You need to go for a walk. No more peeing into the kitchen.”

Krypto whines. Somehow, he understands that he did something wrong. “Aw, it’s alright. You are still a puppy. Let’s go outside before it gets colder again. We don’t want you to freeze, puppy.”

“Cold, cold,” you whine as your teeth shatter. Krypto ran off, and you had to chase him through the snow. Now you feel like a living popsicle and barely feel your feet and hands. “So cold…”

“Blossom?” You want to get up when you hear Clark enter the house, but you’re too cold. Wrapping the blanket tighter around your body, you snuggle with Krypto and Streaky in front of the fireplace in the living room. “Y/N, are you alright?”

A swoosh of air makes you shudder. You’re used to Clark appearing next to you out of nowhere. He looks at you and sits in front of the fireplace. “What happened?”

“Krypto ran, and I had to chase him. It’s cold outside,” you whine. “Really cold, Clarkie. We should never leave the house in winter.”

He laughs at your words but crouches down to kiss your cheek. “What about the tree we wanted to get?”

“Uh—it’s so cold,” you murmur. “Can we not get it later? Much later. After we had hot tea and an even hotter bath?”

“How about you wear your warmest clothes and watch me get one from the front porch? It won’t take me long, and we can decorate it tomorrow. Together.”

Reluctantly, you get up. Before you can protest, you are in his arms, and his lips are on yours. “Hey there, Blossom.” He purrs against your lips before running upstairs with you. You giggle the whole way. “How was your day?”

“It was good,” you cup his face and kiss him again. “So, which tree do you want to get? Will you simply fly to Metropolis and buy one?”

“It’s a surprise,” he pecks your lips before putting you back on your feet. “Get dressed, and don’t forget the scarf and hand gloves. I want you to watch me.”

“Clark—what?” You gasp loudly. It’s nothing new to you that Clark is fast, strong, and can fly. But he just ripped a huge tree out of the ground. He flies toward you, the tree in his arms, as you cannot fathom that this man wants to be your boyfriend.

“I promised you the largest and most beautiful tree.” He gracefully lands on the front porch to show you the tree.

“Clark, there are roots on it,” you laugh while pointing at the roots. “We can’t put the tree up like this.”

“No problem.” He easily maneuvers the tree. Clark puts it on the ground as you watch him with curiosity. He uses his laser eye beam to cut the roots off, making you gasp. His powers are even more impressive up close. “All good. Now we can put it up.”

“It’s so pretty.” You jump at Clark and wrap your arms around him. “This is going to be the best Christmas ever.”

Clark nods against you. He feels the same. It’s going to be the best Christmas because he can spend it with you and the secret you’re carrying under your heart. The one you do not know about yet…

[sailornymph]

‘F*CK ME LIKE YOU MAD AT ME’

how the uchiha men are in bed

cw : nsfw, choking, slapping, etc…

authorsnote : hi everyone and welcome, i hope you enjoy, please stick around for more. 

♡︎ madara uchiha

— at least 8.5 inches, all uchiha men give third leg energy

— he’s really loud, he moans, grunts, calls out your name; anyone passing by could probably hear him, he doesn’t have any shame

— he loves cowgirl, he likes women who are strong like him and he enjoys watching you show him how much you could take

— loves to fuck your face after a long day

— he’s not into foreplay and not much of a eater, but his fingers, they’ll make your toes curl everytime

— he is rough, but with care, asking you if you’re okay, how does it feel, are you ready

— he may be a warrior and clan leader but in the safety of his home with his wife, he is a gentleman

— he’s okay at aftercare, it’s usually you catering to him and he tends to you along the way. if you were to run him bath water, he invites you in and you’ll bath each other

“-just like that,” madara grunted, holding your hip, his other hand exploring all over your body. you were grinding your hips, and it mostly only felt good for you, but watching you was enough to keep him hard.

“madara, fuck me harder,” you whined, gasping then laughing in excitement as his hands instructed you to bounce.

“oh baby, rougher please, fuck me like you’re mad at me,” you panted. your lustful words were enough to make him give in.

madara helped you as you continued to bounce, this time, he made sure you felt every inch, moaning louder every time you took all of him. leaning up, he took your nipple in his mouth. your hands tangled in his messy hair, as you held him closer.

“you’re going to make me cum,” you cried to him.

“cum all over me,” he groaned, going back to sucking your breast.

“yesyesyesyesyes, i’m cummimg, i’m cumming,” you cried out, but he pulled you close, kissing your lips and muffling the lucid noises.

you continued to moan, slowly grinding your hips, as he slapped your ass, squeezing it. his seed squirted all over your walls and you didn’t pull him out like usual, just continuing to grind your hips. once you were satisfied and stopped, he pulled himself out, wrapping his arms around your body.

“the others probably heard us, we were so loud,” you shook your head in embarrassment.

“i doubt it, we were louder last time,” he sighed, thinking of last time he came home from a mission and the two of you went at it for hours.

meanwhile, outside of his home, a few clansmen passed the house, all having horrified expressions.

“lord madara is a very passionate man,” one of the young shinobi said, their face crimson.

“we’ll have an heir in no time with those two,” izuna laughed, turning to leave.

♡︎ itachi uchiha

— 7. 5 inches and is on the girthier side

— low airy moans and sweet words

— missionary so he can see your pretty face or riding him, while he hugs you closely

— this man is an eater and a master with his fingers

— he could lick on your beautiful pussy all night, your cum coating his fingers and he would be content

— he doesn't ask for oral but is fine with it if you initiate

— he is incredibly gentle with you, treating you as if you are fragile and could easily break at the slightest touch

— as his health is declining, sex doesn't happen as much as it used to, but when he has the courage and strength, he wants to make sure it is slow and precious, making the night rememberable for both of you

— the aftercare king, you won't have to lift a finger, he will take care of you and everything else

“i’m cumming,” you moaned lowly, your leg lifted onto itachi’s shoulder. he had been at it for almost an hour now. you were past your third orgasm and didn't understand how his tongue had the strength to keep going.

“you’re so sweet, angel,” he complimented, kissing your inner thighs, as your body twitched. as the reaction wore off, he lowered his head, ready to eat some more, but you shook your head, pulling him onto the bed.

“i’m ready for more,” you said, as he kissed your lips. falling backward into the pillows, you watched as he took off his clothing.

“i love you, angel,” he said, kissing your collarbone.

“i love you too,” you cooed, as he kissed your lips next.

pushing his cock into your cunt, you both moaned, before he moved his head to start kissing your neck.

“i don’t want to make love tonight,” you said, catching him off guard.

“i want you to fuck me like you’re mad at me, just this once, a little rougher,” you encouraged, as he hesitantly nodded.

“if it hurts we’ll stop immediately,” he said, as you nodded, biting your lip.

planting his hands on the sides of your head, he began thrusting. your voice getting louder, as you moaned. the bed frame hitting the wall repeatedly. he was thankful that you lived in the small cottage a good distance from anyone so that no one could hear the noises you were letting out.

“do you like that, angel?” he asked, smirking as you nodded, before begging for more.

placing a hand around your throat, he lightly squeezed, as he spread your legs more with his free hand. you could feel your cunt stretching more and more, making room for every inch he had to give and you loved every minute of it.

“are you going to cum for me, princess?”

“yesyesyes, please make me cum on your cock,” you moaned to him, as he continued thrusting, his hair covering his face.

“it feels so good,” you continued, hungrily grinding your hips.

“fuck,” Itachi hissed, grabbing your hips. he was cumming hard.

“i feel all of it, inside of me,” you giggled, grinding your hips more before you came.

“i don't think i’ve ever came that fast before,” he admitted, burying his face in your breast, taking in your scent.

“perhaps we can do it like that more often,” you suggested.

“perhaps, but we’ll have to come up with a safe word,” he offered. he was always thinking of your wellbeing.

“oh itachi”

♡︎ indra ōtsutsuki

— he’s a big dick meanie having about 9 inches

— he is a dirty talker, calling you everything under the sun but a child of god

— he’s a misogynistic and it will show how he talks to you

— doggystyle! he loves backshots so he can push your face further down, spanking your ass until it’s sore

— lightly slapping your face, holding your nose as he fucks your mouth

— he doesn’t really like you, but you’re his wife, meaning that you are meant to be used by him any way that he sees fit, right?

— he is rough, tossing you around like you are nothing but his personal doll

— he isn’t into aftercare, if anything, it is you who should be offering to care for him because it is your role as his wife to cater to him

“lord indra,” you called out, nervously fidgeting with your fingers, as you stood outside his bedroom.

“what is it?” he asked coldly, he sat legs crossed, obviously trying to meditate.

“i wanted to…i wanted to ask if you if-

“spit it out woman,” he scolded.

“i wanted to ask if you could fuck me,” you said, clenching your thighs together. he hadn’t touched you in weeks, despite you being on your best behavior.

“you really are a whore, aren’t you?” he chuckled.

“yes, my lord,” you nodded, as he finally looked at you. your kimono was slightly open, nothing underneath.

“come here,” he tilted his head at you.

hastily you rushed over, falling to your knees, as he stood up. it took all of your willpower to not reach and touch yourself. he looked at you with disgust, but a hint of interest.

“you left your room dressed this way, what if someone else saw you? but you want another man to see your body, don't you?” he roughly grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

“no, my lord, i only want you,” you moaned.

“right, to fuck you?”

“yes, my lord, i want you to fuck me like you're mad at me,” you plead, as his thumb brushes against your bottom lip. he didn't say anything, pulling his hand back, before slapping your cheek.

“you slut, you interrupted me to satisfy your sexual urges, i'll make sure to fuck you so hard, you’ll think twice about asking again,” he said, as you nodded.

“please punish me,” you begged, nearly moaning as he tore your kimono open. slapping your breast a few times, he opened his kimono, pumping his pink cock.

“open your mouth, bitch,” he said, thrusting into your warm mouth. humming, he grabbed a handful of your hair.

reaching down to rub your clit, you gasp as he yanked your head backward, slapping your cheek.

“did i say you could touch your pussy?” he said, watching as you quickly moved your hands back up, caressing his abdomen and sides, as he went back to fucking your throat.

you were perfect, taking his length like you were supposed to. he had trained you amazingly, from an inexperienced virgin to a slutty housewife, but he would never tell you that. you didn't need to know that you were doing a good job, it would only go to your head.

instead like always, he pulled out of your mouth, grunting a few times as his cum spilled all over your breast.

“thank you, my lord, it tasted so good,” you praised him, before turning around, putting your face against the floor, your ass in the air. sending a slap to your ass, you winced.

“you have a lot of nerve, you stupid whore, bothering me, i should fuck you until you can't walk,” he frowned, slapping your ass again, then again, and again. the pain mixed with pleasure only made your pussy more wet.

pushing his cock into your wet hole, his hands immediately went to your waist. you moaned, lifting your head, but he slapped your ass, pushing your face back onto the floor.

“your pussy is so wet and tight for me, all mine, only mine if you ever cheat on me, i’ll kill them, all of them, you wait until i’m ready to fuck this little cunt, i don't care how long you have to wait,” he said, thrusting in and out of your sweet pussy.

“y-yes, my lord, only yours,” you struggled to speak, squeezing your kimono. as he sped up his pace, you began pulling away from him, but he held you close, as he kept fucking into you.

“stop running, you wanted this, so take it, bitch,” he ordered.

“it's too much,” you whined.

“you interrupted me about getting fucked and now it's too much, it's too late for all of that,” he said, as you moaned loudly.

“oh, kami, i’m cumming,” you cried, clenching around him, as your body jerked at the sensation.

you were hopeful that he would finally cum inside. you had been married for almost two years with still no heir. asuma told you he has overheard indra tell their father it was because neither of you was ready for it.

pulling out, he pumped himself, grunting as the semen sprayed all over your ass and lower back. pushing away the nerve-wracking voice in your mind, whining about how he had yet to cum in you, you sat on the back of your legs facing him.

“thank you, lord Indra, you’ve been very generous to me,” you bowed, going to stand, when your legs gave out. before you could hit the floor, his hand guilelessly went to your waist, catching you.

“sorry,” you nervously laughed.

“you can stay tonight,” he said, his face showing no emotions.

“really?” you smiled, excited.

“i need a bath, and you do too, so crawl,” he said, watching as you nodded, actually crawling to the bathroom.

he could forget at times how much he secretly enjoyed having a dumb slutty wife.

♡︎ obito uchiha

— 8 inch loverboy

— a whimpering mess, he is touch starved and now that he has someone who loves him as much as he loves them, he easily becomes a mess

— this man is a freak, he is doing any and everything, as long as he gets to do it with you

— loves early morning blowjobs, tasting your pretty pussy, mutual masturbation, he just wants to touch and be touched by you

— he is versatile, sometimes he is gentle, sometimes he is manhandling your body

— he loves foreplay and is always willing to try new things, you want to try anal, he will make sure the prep is perfect, you want to roleplay? he’ll even dress up as whatever if you ask

— he never thought aftercare was important until he got with you and now he caters to you

— behind the villain is a soft boi who just wants to love you and treat you like the queen you are

“you scared me,” you jumped, noticing obito. he still wasn’t used to you living with him and oftentimes appeared without making his presence known.

“sorry, love,” he said, taking off his cloak, watching as you approached him from behind, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“how was your day?”

“i accomplished a few things, you?”

“boring and lonely,” you pouted, as he turned to face you, his hand going down to cup your ass.

“maybe i can help fix that, now that i’m here?” he proposed.

“please do”

“how can i help with this boredom and loneliness?”

“fuck me”

“is that all?”

“fuck me like you're mad at me,” you tried biting back your smile, as you stared into his dark eyes.

“anything for you,” easily tearing off your nightgown, his hands explored your body. perfect, everything about it was perfect. no one could make his cock as painfully hard as you.

lifting you into his arms, your legs going around his waist instantaneously. pumping himself a few times, he aligned with your entrance, before letting your cunt pull him in deeper. throwing your head back, you held him close as he kissed along your neck.

“you ready, baby?” he asked, smirking as you nodded.

“yes,” you moaned breathlessly.

without another word, with a firm hold on your thighs, began thrusting into you. your eyes rolled back as he fucked you as if you were nothing but a whore to him. nodding your head, you opened your mouth, tongue out, letting obito spit into your mouth.

“just like that, i love it,” you cried, before smashing your lips into his own.

“you're so tight baby, you're squeezing me,” he whimpered, as you dragged your tongue along his jaw.

“cum inside of me, as many times as you want,” you moaned, your voice getting louder as he sped up.

“fuck yeah,” you laughed, throwing your head back, as he slapped your ass.

“i’m about to cum,” he told you.

“wait for me, we'll go together,” you cried, placing wet kisses along his shoulder, as you both moaned, drunk with horniness.

“right there, i’m cumming,” you whined and finally he released, filling you up.

“hm, so good,” you exhaled, feeling almost refreshed.

“i didn't hurt you, did i baby?” he asked, worriedly.

“no, you were amazing,” you kissed his lips, as his cock fell out of your creamy pussy.

“good,” he said, feeling better after having your reassurance.

“obito”

“yes baby?”

“take me to bed,” you whispered, your eyes burning with lust.

“yes, my love”

♡︎ sasuke uchiha

— 8 inches, i don't make the rules, he's tall, slender, and quiet, meaning it’s heavy

— he's unsurprisingly quiet, but small whimpers and groans will escape his mouth sometime

— he has your legs folded like a pretzel, in the mating press, he has to restore his clan after all

— keeps his shirt on because he's self-conscious, but likes it when you touch him

— likes sucking your breast while he rubs your clit or you jerk him off while kissing him, but he isn't into oral

— incredibly sweet and gentle, while showing his strength

— he knows his redemption won't happen overnight and being more loving to you than before is very important to him

— he isn't the best at aftercare, but with your words of encouragement and instructions, he will get better

“i’ve missed you,” he said lowly, standing in the doorway, he had come home just as you had gotten out of the shower. the fluffy towel still around your body.

“i’ve missed you too,” you smiled. he had been trying so hard to communicate more.

slowly, he approaches you, swiftly lifting you with his arm. his hand resting under your ass, while you held onto his shoulders, peppering his face with kisses. he was still as strong as ever.

“want to know what else i’ve missed since you’ve been away?” you smirked as he nodded.

“your big cock, i miss you fucking me like a slut, do you miss that?”

“yes,” he whispered, his breathing getting heavier.

“are you too tired tonight? i need you so badly, i want to fuck me like you’re mad at me,” you bit your lip. your pussy was already leaking.

“never,” he said and before you could speak again, you were already being gently placed on the bed.

opening your towel, sasuke straddled your lap, taking his cloak off, revealing the gray shirt underneath. leaning down, he lapped his tongue over your nipple. using his hand to pinch the other. reaching down, you unbuttoned his pants, but when you reached for his shirt, he reached for your hand.

“no”

“it’s okay, you’re with me,” you encouraged him, as he hesitantly nodded. unbuttoning his shirt, you opened it but left it on.

taking out his cock, your walls clenched at the heaviness of it. the girth, the length, the visible veins, as he stroked himself. the precum already leaking out. once hard enough, his thumb went to your clit, rubbing a little, before he pushed himself into your wet tight hole.

“yes baby, just like that,” you moaned, as he lifted your legs, crossing them, before pushing himself all the way in.

“so beautiful,” he mumbled.

“you’re making me so wet, keeping going, you’re fucking me so good,” you whined to him, reaching to touch his toned abdomen.

you were already creaming all over him, as he kept going in and out. he was thankful that your eyes were shut because you couldn't see him place the kisses along your feet and ankles. he was disappointed in himself, the fact that it took all this time, for him to finally cherish you and now he couldn't get enough of you.

“ah, sasuke, i’m so close,” you said, your legs shaking, as he held them folded together.

your walls repeatedly clenched around him, as he let out a series of uneven grunts. he was close and he didn’t even know if you wanted him cumming inside. shaking under him, you began to unravel, coating his cock with your juices.

“shit,” he hissed, about to pull out, when you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist.

“cum inside,” you moaned, biting your lip, as he filled you up.

with every drop of his seed released, your legs fell, and you smiled tiredly batting your lashes at him. pulling him onto the bed, you kissed as if you'd never see each other again.

“lord seventh has to stop sending you on so many missions, this house is so lonely without you,” you pouted, playing with the ends of his hair.

“maybe…maybe having a child around could keep you some company, until i am home?” he struggled to say, his face burning in embarrassment.

“you want a baby?”

“with you,” he added on, a small nod.

“then we have to get really busy-

“we can start tonight,” he interrupted, motioning for you to sit on his lap. you were in for a long night.

[reccyls]

My Greed-filled Christmas with Victor

My translation for Victor's Christmas collection event story

--

Victor: I've been waiting for you, Kate.

Standing with his arms spread wide open in front of a tree so enormous it was close to brushing the ceiling was Victor, cloaked in festive cheer.

Victor: Your mission for today is to help me decorate this tree!

Just after I had woken up a few hours ago, a maid told me that Victor had a message for me.

Kate: "There's a task that I absolutely need your help with."

(I thought it'd be a normal mission, who would've guessed that it'd be tree decorating!) (And... together with Victor...)

As I watched him excitedly fish out piles of ornaments and other decorations, expectations began to build in my heart. Victor was always so busy, so to be able to spend this time having fun with him...

Victor: Everything that we'll need is right over here.

Just then, a group of servants brought over a huge stepladder.

Victor: I'll start from the top, so could you start decorating from the bottom?

Kate: Of course, leave it to me!

Victor: Wonderful! Now let's be sure to give our boys the best Christmas surprise of their life!

...

Victor: Kate, can you pass me those ornaments over there?

Kate: Sure, here you go.

Victor clung to the ladder with one hand and reached down with his other. I handed over the ones he wanted, and he deftly hung them up on the tree. It was two hours since we started, and the tree was quickly approaching completion. As I was admiring the colorful decorations, I suddenly noticed something.

(That ornament has a crown design, and that one's decorated with a fox, there's a cat, one with apples, even mirrors...)

Kate: Do those ornaments represent everyone in Crown?

Victor: That's my Kate! I knew you'd spot it!

I met VIctor's sparkling gaze.

Victor: Everyone in Crown holds a special place in my heart.

He smiled gently as he poked a red bauble wearing a mini-crown.

Kate: That's lovely. I didn't expect there to be so many ornaments with these designs.

The nine unique designs all showed off each member of Crown.

(Is that one supposed to be Victor?)

I spotted a few plain black baubles, far less in number than the other designs and overshadowed by the others. But I found my eyes captured by it anyway, despite its simplicity.

Victor: And last but certainly not least, the star at the top.

Victor climbed down from the ladder and met my eyes. And then, he handed over a large golden star to me.

Victor: You should place it.

Kate: ...Huh?

Victor: Scared to climb up the ladder?

Kate: No, that's not... Are you sure that I should be the one doing this? The star is special, isn't it?

At my words, Victor smiled.

Victor: And that's why there's no one better than you to place it.

He braced the ladder with his hands and looked back towards me.

Victor: Don't worry, I'll keep the ladder steady. So could I please ask this favor of you?

(He's asking me for a favor?)

Victor almost never asked me for anything. His words filled me with a sudden determination, and I nodded vigorously.

Kate: Of course!

(...It is kinda scary, though.)

I finally made it to the top of the ladder and carefully placed the star on the tree. But just then--

(Hm?)

I noticed a small white ornament shaped like a robin near the top.

(Is this supposed to be me?)

Hanging next to the robin was a pure black ornament, almost hidden by the pine needles.

(Ah...)

As I was reaching out to touch it--

Kate: Aaaaaah!!

Victor: Kate!

I slipped off the ladder. I screwed my eyes shut and braced for pain. But it wasn't the cold hard floor that I landed on, but something warm.

Victor: Are you hurt!?

Ever so slowly, I opened my eyes. Victor had caught me just before I hit the ground. Our faces were so close that our lips were nearly touching. Though his eyes were filled with genuine worry, I couldn't help how my heart began to race as I realized just how little distance there was between us.

Kate: I- I'm fine.

Victor gently lowered me to the ground, and I began to calm down.

Victor: Good. And the tree is done, too.

He was looking at the tree with such delight. Even though he had his back turned to me, I had to look away to hide the flustered heat on my face. It could have been unintentional. Him putting those two ornaments next to each other.

(But still, I was so happy when I saw them.)

Victor then spun around to face me again.

Victor: And now, time for your compensation for this successful mission!

Kate: Compensation?

Victor pulled two tickets out of his coat pocket.

Victor: There's a special Christmas play premiering the day of.

It was a show that I'd wanted to see since forever ago. The Christmas Day version had special scenes changed too.

Kate: Thank you so much...

I was so happy I couldn't stop myself from clutching the tickets hard.

Victor: May I also have your Christmas to myself?

Kate: What?

Victor: Let's watch it together, Kate.

In shock at his sudden invitation, I could only nod.

Kate: --Yes, let's.

Victor beamed. He put his hand around mine, the one that was holding onto the tickets.

Victor: Thank goodness. I don't know what I would have done if you had refused.

He looked up towards the top of the tree and smiled again.

Victor: It's going to be a wonderful Christmas.

That was when a servant appeared to call Victor away for something. Waving goodbye to me, he hurried off for his next task. I was left alone, sitting at the foot of the tree with tickets in hand.

(Definitely. It'll be a Christmas I'll never forget.)

Overhead, that black ornament glittered in the shadow of the robin's wing.

[winchesterwild78]

On the Tenth Day of Christmas

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: fluff, light smut (nothing too bad)

A/N: Day 10 of my holiday fics. I hope you enjoy this short series. I’m really excited about it. All work is my own, please don’t take it. Reblogs and likes are welcomed. 

I do not own the rights to the characters I use, these will not follow the story lines of the series the character appeared in. This is a work of fiction.

Written fast and edited fast, please overlook any errors. 

This one got a little long, sorry. Sorry it took so long to put this one up, I’m sick and was trying to get through the last few days before Winter Break. 

Minors DNI 18+

It had just started snowing in the lazy little town where I lived. A light dusting of fresh snow laying on any surface that didn’t move. 

I’d lived here my whole life so I was not surprised it was snowing in December. The air was crisp and clean. The snow always had a way of cleaning the air. 

The light crunch the snow made under my shoes were the only sounds I heard. My hands were in my pockets as I walked home from my shift at the diner and it was pretty late. 

I didn’t live far and I loved looking at the Christmas lights that lined the streets. 

In the distance I heard a low rumble of a car approaching. I looked up and saw a sleek black car with two male passengers. I looked at them as they passed by, they definitely weren’t local. The driver winked at me and my cheeks flushed red. 

Putting my head down I kept walking. Finally making it home, I showered and crawled into bed. 

The next morning I went to work like any other day. The snow had left a few inches on the ground so I knew we were going to be busy. When I walked in my co-worker Cheryl greeted me, “Oh I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve been so busy. Can you take table 4. They just sat down. Here’s their drinks.” 

I nodded and grabbed the tray. I approached the table and greeted them, “Hello, my name is Y/N and I’ll be your server. I have your drinks, are you ready to order?” 

The men sitting at the table were the same men I saw last night. They were even better looking up close. “Hey sweetheart, I’ll have a breakfast platter with extra bacon and a side of pancakes, and keep the coffee coming, please.” The one with piercing green eyes said. The other one just asked for an egg omelette and some fresh fruit. 

I nodded and took their order to the kitchen. 

I busied myself with other customers and when their order was finished I carried it over to them. 

Green eyes flashed his smile and it made my heart flutter. He was definitely good looking. The other man with him wasn’t bad to look at either. 

“Can I get y’all anything else?” “Just some syrup and your phone number, darlin’” He smirked as he said it. The other man with him shot him a look, “Dean, stop.” “Oh lighten up, Sammy.” 

So their names are Sam and Dean. “The syrup is no problem, Dean. The number you’re going to have to work for.” I winked and walked away. My heart is hammering in my chest. I didn’t dare turn around. 

Cheryl laughed, “Girl you’re being stared at hard.” I glanced over my shoulder and saw Dean staring at me. 

I grabbed the syrup and walked back over. “So, Y/N, what time do you get off?” Dean asked. “That depends. Are you talking about work or something else?” 

Sam almost spit his drink out. Dean smirked, “Maybe both.” 

I bit my lip, “I get off work at 4, as far as something else, that really depends on you.” I smirked and walked away. Dean’s jaw on the ground. “Damn, Sammy. I think I met my match.” “Seems like it, Dean.” Sam chuckled. 

Dean stood and walked to the counter. Cheryl looked at him and then at me. I grabbed some food to deliver to another table. He watched as I walked away. 

Dean was leaning against the counter when I returned. His back to me and I could see his toned back through the tight t-shirt he was wearing. I saw Cheryl and him talking. 

As I walked up Cheryl smiled at me and he tilted his head to the side to look at me. 

“So sweetheart, how about I pick you up at 7 and we grab some dinner or something.” He smirked. 

I smirked and stepped closer, “Maybe, but I have to warn you I tend to eat my dessert first.” Cheryl chuckled and Dean laughed, “Sounds good to me. I’ll bring pie.” 

Sam and Dean finished their food and paid their bill. On the ticket Dean wrote his number and then 7pm. 

I was a mixture of nerves and excitement as the time crept closer to 7. When I got off work I went home, showered and went through every piece of clothing I owned. I had no idea what had me so nervous. Dean wasn’t a local, so I knew this was going to be a one night thing, but here I was still trying to find the perfect outfit at 6:30. 

I finally decided on my favorite pair of jeans that fit just right, a band t-shirt, my leather jacket and my black low heel boots. 

My hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and I applied light makeup. Standing back from the full length mirror I looked myself over and nodded in approval. 

About 5 minutes to 7 there was a light knock on my door. I opened it and standing there was Dean. He’d changed his clothes since I last saw him and damn did he look good. His hair perfectly styled, a shirt that was just tight enough to show off his firm chest, dark jeans and boots. 

“Wow, you look amazing, sweetheart.” I blushed and smiled. “Thank you, Dean. So do you.” 

I grabbed my stuff and we walked to the car. It had started snowing again so the ground was a little slippery. 

As I got to the car door I slipped. Bracing myself for a fall that didn’t come. I looked up and saw Dean’s green eyes looking down at me, “Careful sweetheart. I was promised dessert first, not an ER visit.” 

I chuckled as he helped me up, “Thanks Dean, but I don’t remember promising you dessert. I said I always have my dessert first.” I winked at him and he laughed. 

He opened the car door and I got in. The inside of his car was beautiful. He slid into the driver’s seat, “So where to sweetheart? Know any good dessert places?” “I thought you were bringing the pie, Dean.” I smiled. 

He smirked, “I think I forgot it.” “Oh wow, and here I thought you were trying to get me in bed. What kind of man promises pie and doesn’t deliver? Makes me wonder what else you can’t deliver on.” The side of my mouth twitched up into a grin. 

“Oh believe me, sweetheart, I can and will deliver.” I touched his leg, “We’ll see.” 

Dean pulled off to the side of the road and put the car in park. I looked over at him and noticed his green eyes were dark with lust. “You’re playing with fire, darlin’.” 

My hand slid up his thigh, “I enjoy fire.” Before I knew what was happening, Dean’s lips were on mine and his hand on the back of my neck. The kiss was full of need, passion and want. 

We moaned into each other’s mouths. My hands slid into his hair at the nape of his neck. 

Dean pulled me closer to him and he moved to the center of the front seat. Just enough for me to straddle him. His hands firmly on my hips, his lips on mine, seemed to ground me in the moment. 

He pulled my jacket off and threw it to the side. His fingers are playing with the hem of my shirt. 

I nodded and he pulled my shirt over my head revealing my supple breasts confined by the lacey material of my bra. 

His lips trailing down my neck to the tops of my breasts, his hands and fingers delicately touching up my body. 

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart.” My breath hitched. I’d never done anything like this before, but Dean was like a magnet. Pulling me closer to him and try as I might I couldn’t seem to pull myself away. Not that I wanted to. 

“Dean, I..” My voice trailed off as his lips trailed over my body. I felt him smirk against my skin. The heat pooling between my legs was growing and soaking my panties. 

“Darlin’, let’s take this back to my room. Sammy is out and we have the place to ourselves. I don’t want our first time to be in the car.” I smiled and nodded. 

I climbed off Dean, pulled my shirt back on as he slid back into the driver’s seat and took off towards his hotel. Once inside the room he was back on me, kissing and touching every inch of my body. 

Our bodies fell on the bed and tangled with the sheets. Dean was gentle but dominated me all at once. He took me places I’d never been and I didn’t want to let go. 

I laid in his arms, my head and hand resting on his chest as Dean wrapped his arm around me. Our breathing steady and I let out a sigh. “Whatcha thinking about sweetheart?” “Honestly, how I’m going to be able to let you go when you and Sam leave, because I know you two aren’t staying here.”

Dean lifted his head and looked at me, “Then don’t.” I sat up and looked at him in shock, “What?” “Don’t let me go. Come with me and Sammy.” “Dean, you don’t mean that, you can’t be serious.” 

He sat up and turned to face me, cupping my face, “I’m very serious, come with me. I don’t want to leave unless you’re by my side.” 

“Dean, we just met. You couldn’t possibly know you want me to come with you.” “Y/N. I’ve lived a hard life. One that doesn’t offer second chances so I’ve learned when you see something or someone you want you go for it. All in, head over heels.” 

“Dean, I need to think about it. This is my home. It has been my whole life.” Dean nodded, he understood. Not everyone grew up like he had. “When do you leave, Dean?” “In three days.” “Okay, I’ll let you know by the end of the second day.” 

He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips, “I’ll be waiting, sweetheart.”

The next few days we sent as much time together as we could. I still had work, and he was in town doing whatever he was here for. 

The day before he left I was walking home thinking about my decision. That’s when I looked up and saw Sam and Dean in suits walking out of the Sheriff’s office. My brows furrowed in confusion. 

Later that evening I sat with my leg bouncing. I needed to talk to Dean but I also had a decision to make. To say I was nervous was an understatement. 

Dean arrived at my place looking incredible. He wasn’t wearing the suit, but damn did he look good. He pulled me into a tight hug and placed a kiss on my lips. “Hey sweetheart, I’ve missed you today.” I snuggled into his chest, “I missed you too, Dean.” 

When we pulled away from each other I nervously bit my lip. Dean noticed how nervous I was and it made him nervous. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

I looked up at him, “Yeah, um, can we talk?” Dean nodded and motioned to the couch.

We sat down and he placed his hand on my knee. His touch always had a way of grounding me. I took a deep breath and began talking.

“Dean, I don’t know what to say. You came into my life unexpectedly and now I can’t see my life without you in it, but I don’t know anything about you. You want me to come with you and Sam, but I don’t know what that means. Where is home? What do you and Sam do for work, because obviously you work together. Have you ever been married, or have any kids? I don’t know anything about you. I’ve poured my life out for you, so you know the answers to those questions, but you’re so guarded. I see myself falling for you, but I can’t be with someone who has secrets. Like why did I see you and Sam come out of the Sheriff’s office in suits today?”

His eyes went wide and I saw his shoulders tense. I knew I hit a nerve. “Y/N, there are things in my life that are ugly. Down right terrifying. I can answer your questions, but you have to trust me. Trust that I will spend every breath keeping you safe. Home is an underground bunker. We kinda inherited it, it’s not your traditional place to live, but it’s home and we make it home. I’ve never been married and don’t have any kids, I’d like to have both one day, and I see that now because of you. As far as Sammy and I, we travel across the country and hunt monsters. Vampires, ghosts, demons, all of it are real. We are hunters. Our mother grew up in the life, our dad did not, but after she was killed he began hunting the demon that killed her. I was 4 and Sam was 6 months.” 

I gasped and touched his arm. “Oh Dean, I’m so sorry.” My heart broke for him with the realization he’d been taking care of Sam since he was 4 years old. 

“So, all of the things in horror movies, the things that go bump in the night are real?” He nodded. “And you and Sam hunt them down and kill them?” Again, he nodded. “So that means something was here, and you two were here to take care of it?” 

His eyes flicked to mine, “We’ve taken care of it. It was a vampire that was trying to establish a nest. All those missing people were being turned.” 

“Oh my god.” I whispered. “This is a lot to take in, Dean. Now you’re telling me there was a vampire here, in the one place I felt safe.” 

He touched my face, “I’m sorry, darlin’. Just know you’re safe and if you decide not to go with me I’ll make sure you stay that way.” Logistically I didn’t know how that would work, but I knew Dean would keep me safe no matter what.

“Dean, where are you spending Christmas?” “Hopefully in your arms, but unless we get a case we will be at home, at the bunker.”

I smiled, “How about I spend it with you at the bunker, or wherever you are?”  Dean smirked, “Are you serious?” I nodded, “Yes, Dean. Let’s just jump head first into whatever this is. I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you.” 

He kissed my lips, “Great, come on, let’s go tell Sammy you’re coming with us. I can’t wait to spend the first of many Christmases together.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door to the car.

Before we got in the car he leaned me against it, tilted my chin up and kissed me deeply. 

“Dean I..” I couldn’t say it for fear it would scare him, but damn did I feel it already. “I know sweetheart, I do too.” He kissed me again, and we drove towards Sam to tell him we decided on forever.

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[cigarettesaftersae]

Homesick 07 - you're here, that's the thing

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Series: sae x f!reader | childhoodlovers!au

Stuck in a small town near the coast with a previous crush on a boy who returns after years

Week 1 - Monday

So here you are, situated across the seat from Sae again. Same small restaurant, even the same waitress, same icy gaze fixed on you except it’s Monday. You felt as if yesterday was Monday.

“So, do you have any hobbies?”

“I practice my pass for a few hours.”

“I mean, beside soccer? Do you like drawing? or reading?”

“Reading is fine.”

“Really? What books do you like to read?” It’s almost as if you were talking to a wall. He’ll warm up right?

“Margaret Atwood”

“That is the last thing I thought you might even read.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sae rises an eyebrow at you

“Nothing! I love Margaret Atwood. She’s a wonderful writer.” Your defensive mechanism actives, your hands slightly in the air like he was a police officer

“You’re a writer” he mentions with an almost unreadable expression—curiosity, skepticism, or maybe mild amusement? You couldn’t tell.

“That I am,” you confirm, sitting up a bit straighter. “Why? Do I not seem like one?”

“No, you do,” he says, pausing to take a sip of water. “Writers usually talk a lot.”

You blink, caught between being mildly offended and intrigued. “Well, excuse me for trying to have a conversation. It’s not every day someone admits they read Margaret Atwood.”

“Do you think I just kick a ball around all day?��� His eyebrow quirks again, a subtle challenge in his tone.

“Honestly? Kind of,” you reply without missing a beat. The corner of his mouth twitches—was that a smile? Almost. “So, are we talking The Handmaid’s Tale or Oryx and Crake?”

He leans back, crossing his arms. “Cat’s Eye. It’s a good portrayal of memory and rivalry. Realistic.”

“Wow, you’re full of surprises,” you say, genuinely impressed. “Maybe I’ll lend you one of my stories sometime.”

“You think I’d read them?”

“I mean, if you’re quoting Margaret Atwood, there’s hope,” you tease.

For the first time that evening, his gaze softens just slightly. “Maybe.”

It’s not much, but you’ll take it. The ice was thinner now. Perhaps by Thursday It’ll be better.

Week 1 - Thursday

‘I have to cancel today’s lunch, I have too many reports to finish I’m sorry, next Monday is my treat. All of it (;_;)’ Your thumb hovers over the send button, nervous and anxious how he’d react to this. With a quick swipe, you hesitantly hit send. Life loves being rough on you, only now did you just start getting along with Sae but your class by the last minute just had to upload an assignment by which was due tonight.

Your phone buzzes almost instantly. His reply is blunt: “You could’ve just said no earlier.”

The words make you wince, and you stare at the screen for a moment, unsure how to respond. You type out several drafts of a reply—apologies, justifications, even something defensive—but none feel quite right. Finally, you settle on a simple, “I didn’t know until this morning. Sorry.”

The message goes unanswered for hours, leaving a heavy pit in your stomach. Was he actually upset? You try to focus on your assignment, but the tension keeps nagging at you. You replay the past few days in your head, wondering if canceling lunch was enough to undo the tentative progress you’d made with him.

By evening, you’re half-convinced you’ve ruined everything when your phone buzzes again. The message is short, almost indifferent: “Don’t forget Monday.”

Relief floods through you, though his detached tone lingers in your mind. Was this his way of brushing things off, or was there still some lingering irritation? You decide not to press your luck, resolving to make next Monday’s lunch worth it. For now, you focus on finishing your assignment, the weight of his words slowly fading but not entirely gone.

Week 2 - Monday

By the time you arrive at the small restaurant, Sae is already seated, his usual calm demeanor in place as he scrolls through his phone. The sight eases some of your nerves, though the memory of his curt response on Thursday still lingers in your mind.

You slide into the seat across from him, offering a tentative smile. “Hey, sorry if I kept you waiting.”

“You’re on time,” he replies, setting his phone down. His tone is neutral, but there’s something about the way he studies you for a moment that makes you feel…seen.

The waitress appears with the menus, but Sae waves her off. “We’ll have the lunch set,” he says simply, glancing at you for confirmation. You nod, grateful he remembered your preference.

As the meal arrives, Sae seems quieter than usual—not cold, but thoughtful.

As the meal winds down, Sae surprises you by lingering over his tea, glancing out the window. Usually, he’s the first to signal the end of lunch, but today, he seems content to let the moment stretch a little longer.

“I wasn’t upset about Thursday,” he says suddenly, catching you off guard. “I just don’t like last-minute changes.”

The admission is so uncharacteristic that it takes you a second to respond. “I figured,” you say softly. “Still, I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair to you.”

He nods, as if accepting your apology, then stands. “Next time, don’t cancel.”

There’s no heat in his words, just a quiet assurance that surprises you. As he walks to the counter to pay, you can’t help but feel that, in his own way, this was his version of an apology too.

Week 2 - Tuesday

The doorbell rings, and you rush over to greet the customer, only to find Sae standing there.

“Sae, I thought you were off today?” you ask, blinking in surprise.

“I am. I have practice in a few hours,” he replies evenly. “I wanted a cup of coffee.”

“No sugar, but cream, right?” you say, recalling his usual order.

He nods, his gaze steady on you. “You remembered.”

You laugh lightly as you step behind the counter to prepare his coffee. “It’s not that hard. You’re one of the few who keeps it simple.” As you work, the silence stretches, but it doesn’t feel awkward. When you hand him the cup, he takes it, his fingers brushing yours briefly.

“Thanks,” he says, his voice softer than usual. He doesn’t leave immediately, instead leaning against the counter as if debating whether to say more. “Did you need anything else?” You question with a soft smile

“No”

You nod, feeling like there’s more beneath his words. Before you can press further, he straightens, giving you a small nod. “See you later.”

And just like that, he’s gone, leaving you with the faint impression that these small, fleeting moments with him mean more than he lets on.

Week 2 - Thursday

The world is blanketed in white glitter snow, the cold bits your nose, leaves your toes frozen and numbly cold. You know what else the cold gives you? Coughing, sneezing, running noses even worse a stuffy nose so you can’t breathe in your new candle scent, Gingerbread Cookie by the way. You remembered Sae’s words “Next time, don’t cancel” and yet you break that forbidden promise with much guilt. You open the messages app, look for his name which pops up instantly. Forgive me.

‘I may or may not have to cancel today’ send

read. (instantly)

‘why’

‘I got really sick (；-◞౪◟-) ‘

‘and you might have to cover for me on Tuesday’

‘I’m coming over, Maria’s sending me to give you some food.’

You spring out of bed in a panic, your heart racing. You glance at yourself in the mirror and cringe—what a mess! You're wearing dinosaur pajamas, and you didn't even bother to brush your teeth this morning. You told yourself it was fine because you were feeling sick and needed the extra sleep. Without realizing it, you leave the text on read as you rush to get ready. You quickly brush your teeth, comb your hair, and apply a touch of pink chapstick, hoping it'll make you look less like you've just rolled out of a grave.

As you’re finishing up, there's a knock at the door. Your stomach does a nervous flip—why does the idea of seeing him in person always leave you on edge? You quickly wipe your hands on your shirt and rush to the door, trying to act as if you’ve got everything together, even though you definitely don’t.

When you open it, there he is—Sae, standing with a paper bag in one hand and an expression that could only be described as slightly amused. The cool air from outside drifts in, and you realize just how freezing it is, but it hardly seems to phase him.

“Maria said you needed some food.” He holds out the bag, his eyes scanning your appearance.

You force a smile, trying to play it off. “I appreciate it. Seriously, you didn’t have to.”

“I did. You’re not going to get better if you don’t eat,” he replies, his tone surprisingly firm. It’s strange, but you almost feel… cared for? His eyes soften as you take the bag from him. “You should rest more, not worry about lunch.”

“Yeah, I know…” You mutter, unsure whether to invite him in or just thank him and let him go. “How’s your practice going?”

“It’s fine. It’s always fine,” he says with a casual shrug, clearly not wanting to get into specifics.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure you’re a pro at this point,” you tease, hoping to lighten the mood. “Thanks again for bringing this over.”

“Are you alone?” Sae presses, his gaze a little sharper now, like he's trying to figure something out. His usual cool demeanor is tinged with a hint of concern—or is it curiosity?

You blink, thrown off guard. “Yeah, I’m alone. Why?” you ask, trying to mask the unease in your voice.

He doesn’t immediately answer, just tilts his head slightly, as if weighing your words. His eyes flicker around the room, noting the quiet atmosphere before landing back on you. “Don’t think I care or anything, Maria asked me.”

You stare at him for a moment, caught off guard by the sudden shift. “Maria asked you?” you repeat, still processing what just happened. He doesn't wait for you to finish your sentence, stepping past you and into the room like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Yeah, she’s worried. Said you’re too stubborn to take care of yourself,” Sae replies nonchalantly, as he slips off his shoes and places them neatly by the door. It’s like he’s done this a thousand times before, walking into someone’s house with little regard for personal boundaries.

You blink, slightly overwhelmed by his confidence. “You don’t have to—”

“Relax,” he interrupts, cutting you off. “I’m just making sure you don’t collapse from being too sick to notice.” He sets the paper bag down on the kitchen counter, then starts looking around like he’s deciding where to place it. You’re frozen, caught between the shock of his boldness and the odd feeling that he’s genuinely trying to help.

He notices your hesitation and finally glances back at you, raising an eyebrow. “You got a problem with me being here?”

“Uh, no,” you stammer, still processing. “I just wasn’t expecting... this.”

“Whats your symptoms?” Sae ask going straight into questioning

“Uh, I have a fever and stuffy nose sometimes it’s runny— it’s in between and my throat kind of hurts, oh and a really bad headache…” Sae nods as you rattle off your symptoms, his expression serious, almost clinical as if he’s trying to diagnose you himself. “Sounds like you’re not just dealing with a simple cold,” he mutters, stepping over to the counter where you’ve left a few medicine bottles. His eyes scan the labels quickly before he looks back at you. “You’ve been taking anything for it?”

You nod, rubbing your forehead. “Yeah, I’ve been taking some cold meds, but they’re not really helping much. I think I might need something stronger.”

“Probably,” Sae agrees, clearly not impressed by the half-hearted attempt. He walks to the kitchen, his gaze never leaving you as if he’s assessing whether you’ll collapse at any moment. “Sit down,” he commands.

You blink, a little thrown by his sudden authority, but you obey, sitting down on the couch. Sae’s movements are efficient as he starts pulling things out of the paper bag he brought earlier. He places a thermos on the table, some kind of herbal tea, and a small packet of tissues.

“Don’t argue,” he says, catching your eye before you can protest. “Drink the tea. It’ll help with the throat and headache.”

You hesitate but follow his orders. “Since when did you become doctor?

“I took care of my brother when he was sick like this.” You grow quiet, every time the topic of his brother was brought up you noticed the atmosphere would change. “You must love him”

His eyes are looking away from you, and his mouth seems to not nudge a sound. “You should rest.” He says

“No.” You reject quickly.

“Can you not be stubborn? I came all the way here.”

“Its just… I get scary dreams when I’m sick. Last time I had a dream where food was trying to eat me.”

“Go” Sae's command is firm, and for a moment, you hesitate, caught between your reluctance to admit vulnerability and the strange sense of calm that his presence seems to bring. You open your mouth to argue, but something about the way he’s looking at you—his sharp gaze softened by a hint of concern—makes you stop.

"Go to bed," he repeats, his tone unwavering. “I’m not leaving until you rest.”

You sigh, knowing you’ve lost this battle. The last thing you want is to talk more about your dreams, but you can’t help the feeling that Sae’s insistence is rooted in something deeper. Still, you let the conversation drop, reluctantly standing up from the couch and heading to your room.

Sae follows behind, still watching you carefully. The room feels a little warmer, more comforting than it did before. The silence between you two is thick, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s just... different. You crawled under the covers, gaining more warmth like it was heaven’s light. Sae slowly steps out till he heard his name called “Sae?…Thank you.” You mumble with an opia

“Can you…stay? Till I’m asleep?” Sae breaths through his nose, exhaling. He pulls a chair and sits it near you. As you close your eyes, nostalgia creeps in your brain, You can almost hear your mama’s lullaby hushing you asleep. Nights like these remind you when mama took care of you, her gentle hand smoothing your head. Before you knew it, small snores leave your mouth.

chapters

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happy holidays(づ￣ ³￣)づ❤

[sugar-free-fatality]

wanted to start w saying i’m from NJ, i’ve been to all places in NJ, except for rehab when i went to Long Island. i don’t know how things work in other states/countries, and i felt i was being too general with my terminology. i don’t want to misinform anyone or try to overpower voices speaking on the abuse they’ve gone through in their process towards recovery. also when i reference “facilities” i refer to psych wards/group homes/residential/rehab. outpatient programs (day programs) are a part of the larger system and are often step downs from higher care. (many just go to outpatient without ever going to a facility tho) you don’t live there and it’s usually around school hours, depending on the place from 5-2 days a week. you’ll only go to outpatient when you’re no longer seen as a threat to yourself and you’ll focus more on deep therapy than you would in a psych ward, which is only for stabilization not extreme deep therapy. but because these are just a few weeks and during the day they dont carry as much weight in mental health discussions as overnight facilities. but the outpatients i’ve been to was honestly anywhere from fine to great

my biggest thing is the place where someone is getting help. not all facilities are made the same. i think involuntarily treatment is 100% needed in many circumstances including my own. but it should always be the very last step after all other resources r exhausted/there’s no other way to keep the person safe. if all mental health facilities were clean, well staffed, and gave proper treatment this wouldn’t be a discussion. unfortunately many places r underfunded, understaffed, and have limited ways to help someone. the era of lobotomies also put a bad taste in peoples mouth whenever they hear “involuntary treatment,” when currently treatment looks very different.

honestly having support from your family/loved ones is also a HUGE aspect in recovery, and if more places focused on family involvement and rebuilding relationships at home it could save people’s lives. that’s being said many people who are institutionalized don’t have a safe family environment or loving guardians. in these cases an agency like CPS needs to step in if they’re a minor, but with the current way CPS operates i support the theory but not currently putting it in practice with more reform. this is part of the reason the staff is so vital at these facilities. kids turn to staff when struggling and i will never forget the dozens of staff members along the way who made a huge difference in my life. this includes floor staff, therapists, psychiatrists, and management.

and not all people want to get better or are able to. the mental health field is also full of underlying biases and class privilege plays one the biggest roles is finding help/the quality of help available. my two group homes were both state ran, the first much better than the other. the second one wasn’t abusive or malicious, just generally poorly managed. the rehab i went to was through insurance because no rehab in the state would take me. at least in NJ all u need is medicaid for state facilities, which even if you don’t initially have it the state agency overseeing placement in these facilities the agency will provide it for u. but even when it comes to outpatient therapists and psychiatrists, money is a huge factor.

the mental health system needs reform. sooner rather than later. but we need to maintain what we have to keep people safe. and maybe we don’t need total reform in the whole system to begin, but starting by focusing on underfunded facilities and making a high standard for these places would improve things. mental illness is also in part a product of many other problematic systems, and improving, for instance, conditions for the impoverished or queer youth, would directly lead to better mental health for those affected by these issues.

What do you mean when you talk about anti-psychiatry? Because on the surface that sounds like not getting treatment or not learning how to manage psychological disorders, and that seems like a VERY bad idea.

It's anti-psychiatry as an oppressive network of control. I don't know why people always assume that critiquing a power structure means you're saying individual people shouldn't do what they need and want to do to manage their wellbeing within said structure but those things are not the same. I'm an anarchist. I'm for disabled liberation. i'm literally never going to claim to know what an individual person should do.

If you support neurodiversity as a concept, you already support anti-psychiatry! It is literally an anti-psychiatry perspective. So is supporting self-diagnosis. Or informed consent approaches to drugs or to trans identity. Getting homosexuality removed from the DSM is an anti-psychiatry move. So is opposing forced institutionalization. So is opposing conservatorships.

The radical mental health subreddit is a great read on this. As is Nobody's Normal by Roy Grinker, Psychiatric Hegemony by Bruce Cohen, all of Jesse Meadow's writing at sluggish.substack.com, and also... all of my work.

[muffingnf]

we had a very sudden and shocking death of a resident at work yesterday evening and i’ve been thinking about how so many people say they wouldn’t want their loved ones to be in a home because they worry the staff wouldn’t care or their loved ones wouldn’t be looked after properly.

this lady was so loved that the admin at work had to ring everyone up who wasn’t on the morning shift to let them know before they got to work. when i got there for the afternoon shift there were people in bits. when her family came this evening both staff and the other residents were genuinely in tears. trust me people care and they care a lot

[kittlyns]

I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day

[servicpop]

family trip adrien ( deliquent oc ) x bttm m reader

ⓘ established relationship au

Through the excessive amount of visiting each other's houses almost everyday of the week, it was only natural that your families would grow close.

It wasn't a surprise when you received a pretty little invitation by Adrien to come join him and his family on a small trip to the coast. Since you had nothing better to do that weekend, you gladly accepted. Adrien brought up his family's van and offered you a ride in which you also agreed.

You never thought to ask Adrien about his family, assuming it was a topic he didn't particularly like as he never talked about them anyways. So seeing two little girls and a young boy that were the splitting image of Adrien if not his parents. They were a rather rowdy bunch as Adrien's mother rounded up the little troublemakers into the 2nd row of the van while her husband was busy packing things into the trunk.

“Why didn't you tell me you had siblings? And so many,” You question, turning to Adrien who seemed to be on his last straw trying to get his siblings to calm down.

“Didn't think I seemed like an only child,” he quipped.

You stop yourself from rolling your eyes when Adrien's mother walks up to you. She's gorgeous, straight nut brown hair, short and slim like a doe. It's strikingly different from Adrien's rough appearance.

“Oh dear, it seems like there's only one chair left,” Mrs Castillo's voice is like a hydrating balm to the soul as she places a hand on her cheek.

You open your mouth to propose a solution — as the responsible person you are — but you're acutely cut off by prince charming himself.

“He can sit on my lap, no problem.” You can see the relieved expression Adrien's mother carries before she walks off into the passenger's side of the van, leaving you absolutely speechless.

“Since when did I agree to that?” You sigh, but it's ultimately the only solution you can think of on the spot.

Adrien slips into the back seat first, getting himself comfortable before patting his thighs. There's a sour expression on your face as you climb in, settling yourself on Adrien's lap. He slips on the seatbelt from behind you and slides his arms around your waist, holding you close.

“Don't worry, I'll be your seatbelt.”

“I wasn't worrying.”

The ride was anything but smooth. You were profoundly aware of every single movement Adrien made underneath you, the soft thumping of his heart rattled against his chest every time you leaned back to rest.

Not to mention his demon-like siblings turning around to ask you bizarre questions.

“Did Adrien kidnap you?” “Do you think you can do a cartwheel and then the splits because I can.” “How much money did he pay you to be here?”

You couldn't even answer one question before another was interjected. Even Adrien seemed annoyed by this constant noise.

“Stop bothering him,” His tone caught you off-guard; it was harsh and grounded like he truly meant it. It didn't seem like the kids understood the message until Adrien swatted at them to turn around.

He sighed, leaning back into the car seat, pulling you down with him.

“They can be a damn handful sometimes,” He exhaled, letting his forehead rest on your shoulder.

The soft gesture, the heat radiating off his face to your shoulder, and his forearms locked tightly around your waist made something in your heart ache ever so slightly. Your fingers hesitantly move to rest on Adrien's arm, patting it gently like you're consoling him.

A few more hours pass by and the kids have already fallen asleep, not a sign of liveliness from the three. Your own eyelids start to grow heavy until the van drives over a rather large speed bump. From the scratchy sound of tires crunching along gravel, you can pretty much assume that the road is going to be filled with dents and bumps.

A barely audible groan comes out from Adrien's throat and you freeze up. Did you hurt him? Your movements are cautious as you turn your torso to look back at him, trying not to move so much so you don't hurt him further.

“Shit, are you okay?” Your eyes narrow and your nose crinkles in concern, Adrien has his head lowered before he lifts it up to meet your gaze.

The hands planted firmly around your body tighten and he pulls you back up against him.

“Just— Stay still,” he grunts out, forehead returning back to your shoulder.

You shuffle just back to get comfortable just enough that you practically grind against the tent growing in Adrien's pants. It takes you a moment to realize what was happening. A small gasp escapes your lips as you grip the flesh on his arm, keeping your head dipped.

The van drives over another bump and you feel it now. Adrien's hand clasps around your shoulder blade and he muffles a strangled grunt again. Your body grows hotter by the second, heat pooling in your lower half.

Now you were both hard.

“Ah shit, prez, you're gonna kill me,” He lets out a dry chuckle, hips twitching from underneath you. You crave it just as bad as you're rocking your body against his in a steady pace. There were too many people in the van, it was way too dangerous to fix the little problem.

“Wait it out,” You whisper, patting his arm once more like trying to calm down a dog.

He doesn't respond, instead, he grumbles into your shoulder.

The van finally comes to a stop. The engine whirrs off and the kids are hustled out of the doors before you and Adrien climb out behind them. There's a satisfying crackle and pop of your joints as you stretch, letting the good ol' sunlight kiss your deprived skin.

Getting the bags out of the trunk wasn't much work since you packed only for 3 days so you rolled your suitcase into the lobby alongside Adrien's family. A small notification pops up on your screen, a check-in from your family which you happily reply to.

Since it was such a large gathering, the family had split into different rooms with you and Adrien sharing one.

The reception hands Adrien's mother the keycard to each room and she hands them out, passing one to Adrien.

You turn your attention to him to see the guy already racing his way towards you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you past his family. You can hear a brief exchange of words between him and his dad, picking up on the lousy excuse that you're 'tired.'

Through the lobby, past the pools, around the bar and to your shared room. Adrien smashes the key card against the reader and he slams the door open.

“Fucking finally,” he sighs, shutting the door behind himself and burying his hands into the back of your head. He's tangling his fingers in your hair, pulling it back before latching his mouth onto yours.

He's practically welding himself to you, devouring your lips in a heated kiss. He pulls back to look into your eyes before he goes in for a second serving. Adrien guides you towards the bedroom, lips never leaving yours as he gently pushes you back onto the bed.

“You know how hard it was to keep myself in line?” Adrien chuckled against your cheek, his hands beginning to descend your body, tracing all the way down to the waistband of your pants.

“That's your job baby, not mine.”

You have half the heart to complain when he's pulling off your pants, lifting your hips off the bed to help him slide your clothes off. He pulls both your legs up and over his shoulders before kneeling onto the ground beside the bed.

“Adrien,” you call out his name almost breathlessly, fingers finding purchase in his thick hair.

He responds with a small hum that causes his throat to vibrate ever so slightly. Adrien's hands are coiled around your thighs, palms laying flat on your lower stomach as he leans in to kiss your inner thigh.

His lips tickle your skin and you can't help but jerk your leg from the sensation—which you're prevented from doing so by his arms holding your legs hostage.

Warmth envelops your lower half as Adrien wraps his mouth around your cock. His breath is hot against your trembling skin and he forces the most obscene noises out his throat. Slick slurping sounds mixed with groans and sighs like he's been starved a hearty meal.

The hand on your stomach slides up, pushing your shirt further so he could feel the flat plane of your torso. Your squirms and thigh twitches are held down by his built arms—it honestly seems like he trains just for this.

“Could do this for days.” its hard to tell what he's saying since all his words and muffled and gurgled.

He pulls off for one second to fish out lubricant from the hotel drawers, applying a hefty amount to his fingers before returning back to you.

Sliding back down to his knees, he prods a finger to your winking hole, teasing and pushing past that ring of muscle and pulling it back out just to watch it shiver from the loss.

“Pervert,” You grumble under your breath.

“Who's the one who asked me out?”

You shoot Adrien an irked glare but the annoyance fades from your face the moment he wraps his mouth around your dick once more. Your eyes flutter as he finally pushes that finger in, sliding in a second to slowly scissor you loose.

He's more skilled than you with his tongue and you can't help but wonder what his past experiences were like; you dismiss that thought as quick as it came.

You look down at him from half-closed eyes, watching as he hollows his cheeks to take in more. You're practically whining and thrashing around in his grip. He's buried his face to the hilt, nose brushing against your pelvic bone. Its almost a ticklish sensation, feeling him breathe against your skin.

His fingers press and pressure your walls, pushing them apart to ready you for his cock. He's rhythmically pushing his fingers deeper, curling at the apex before pulling them back, repeating that process in a steady pace. You can feel them hit your prostate, sending jolts straight to your dick.

It's too much for you to handle; your hips are rising to meet the bob of his head, back arching off the satin white sheets.

“Wait— Adrien pull off I don't want you to—” Your words are all diced up, spoken in short gasps as you try to pry his head off from your aching cock.

You succeed—for a bit—before he's dipping all the way down again, holding your hips steady as he forces you down his throat. He's fucking loving it too, moaning with your dick in his mouth as his fingers speed up, pistioning two fingers into your hole.

Your hips raise even more and he encourages it.

His name comes spilling out of your mouth like a mantra as your muscles spasm from the intensity of your orgasm. Adrien keeps sucking like he's trying to wring every last drop from you. You feel his tongue swirl over your slit, lapping up your sweet fluids.

He slides himself off of you, letting you rest on the bed for a bit as he tilts his head back. His Adam's apple bobs while he swallows, and he lowers his head back down to smile at you.

“Don't tell me you're tired already, I haven't even taken off my pants yet,” he tsks at you, shaking his head disapprovingly while he joins you on the bed. You're still dazed from how hard you just came but a warm hand pulls you back down to earth.

Adrien's hand grazes over your cheek delicately as he hovers over you, caging you in with two arms on either side of your head.

“Just relax prez, I'll do all the work, 'kay?” He takes your little grunt as an 'okay,' rolling you onto your stomach and guiding your head to rest on the pillow. It smells so distinctly of freshly cleaned hotel sheets with a hint of citrus and bleach that you take a moment to close your eyes and enjoy the scent.

You can feel the mattress dip on either sides of your hips as he plants his knees there. He leans his head down to peek at your blissed-out face, pressing a light kiss to your cheek. You can feel his hands run down the curve of your spine, running over your lower back before he settles them on your waist.

“Are you relaxed?” He hums, leisurely rolling his hips against you. His tone is so sultry it causes your muscles to visibly relax under the siren call of his voice.

A hand moves down to where your leg meets the curve of your ass, parting the round flesh for him to comfortably slide in. He had stretched you out enough that it slipped in with ease, hugged by your warm velvet walls.

He sucks in air between his teeth while he steadily rocks his body back and forth, tuning into the wet squelching sound with each thrust.

“Feel it yet?” He chuckles, poking fun at the fact that you've been too dazed to respond to him. You nod against the pillow, your hair spilling over the silk case like spilt water. A small, shaky exhale leaves your nose as he begins to hasten his thrusts. It's almost bruising as he slams himself against your tailbone—you know you'll be whining about the soreness tomorrow morning.

Your voice gradually gets louder as he pounds you into the bed, fingers curled up in the sheets as he slams his pelvis against your ass. You can feel him throb from inside you, twitching and ready.

A particularly deep thrust has you crying out into the pillow but you can't squirm, not when Adrien is pinning you down with his body weight. He's pushing against your prostate over and over again and you can feel that familiar feeling of an orgasm creeping up on you.

“Fuck, Adrien,” You hiccup, muffled by the fluff of the pillow, eyes flickering like you're struggling to keep them open.

“Yeah baby?” You can hear the smirk in his tone as he keeps at the rough pace. He's hitting all the right spots and your dick appreciates. You feel a hand dip under your neck, cupping the curve of your throat as Adrien lifts your head up to face him.

He moves in to kiss you, soft and gentle as he wraps his arms around your whole body, holding you in a tight grip while continuously slamming himself deeper into you. Your loud cries and moans are enveloped by Adrien's mouth, swallowed up.

“You gonna cum? Feels so good you just can't hold it in?” He cooes, chuckling against your swollen lips as he feels you tremble underneath him. You swear stars enter your vision and your eyes roll back, muscles jerking and tensing as you let out a string of whimpers while your orgasm comes crashing onto you.

Adrien buries himself to the hilt before emptying out all he's worth, coating your insides with his dna. He groans as he pulls out halfway just to watch his semen flood out of your hole, still tightly clenched around his cock.

He sits up, raking his fingers through his tousled hair and sighs with satisfaction like drinking an ice cold soda in a hot summer day.

“You tired prez?” He asks, smiling down at you. His eyes narrow and concern settles in when you don't move or answer him.

“Baby?” He quickly leans back down to look at your face only to see your peaceful expression, eyes closed and mouth slightly agape. He lets out a relieved chuckle before pulling out, sliding off the bed to grab a towel.

He figured he'd get you some fruit to replenish your energy, pulling on some of his clothes after cleaning you up and getting you comfortable in the bed. He makes his way to the buffet, piling all favorite fruits and sweets onto his plate before he spots his family.

“Where's your boyfriend?” Adrien's mother asks, also holding a plate of food. Seemed like the two of you missed lunch.

“He's uh—” Adrien tenses knowing that he can't just openly admit to his mother that he fucked the daylights out of you.

“Taking a nap.”

[martiniblues]

CUPIDS CHOKEHOLD , spencer reid

pairing boyfriend!spencer x fem!reader

synopsis you decide to visit spencer during his lunch break. unbeknownst to you, the team has been waiting for your arrival since they found out about you and spencer’s relationship.

genre fluff, reader is described with a cheugy/funky kind of style, and just overall teasing from the team lol.

standing in the mirrored elevator, you took in your appearance one last time. your patterned tights, babydoll dress, denim jacket, and colorful accessories were nothing out of the ordinary for you.  you took pride in your sense of fashion, not caring how others perceived you. 

spencer made it known to you almost daily how much he adored the way you styled yourself. your whimsical and girly attire added the perfect contrast to his “grandpa attire” as you liked to call it. 

returning your tube of lipgloss to its desired spot, you heard the faint ding of the elevator, alerting you of your arrival. you took a deep breath before walking up to the secretary at the counter. the building was sleek and shiny, only emphasizing your appearance. 

the brunette welcomed you, asking for your id before you heard your name being called by an all too familiar voice. “she’s with me; actually, no need to call in or anything.” spencer grabbed the visitors badge and clipped it to the pocket of your jacket before looking at you. 

“hey spence,” you giggled, adjusting his glasses that had gone askew from his evident rush to get to you. he blushed as you slid your hand to the side of his neck, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek softly. 

he grabbed your hand and led you into what you deemed to be the “bullpen” spencer had mentioned to you before. your boots clicked on the ground, muffled by the sounds of the bau. 

many workers turned and looked, unfamiliar with your presence and even more shocked that you were with spencer. he looked at you, noticing your wondering eyes. “it’s a little hectic right now, sorry.” he pulled you into his cubicle, already having a chair ready for you. 

“its actually really cool seeing this place for the first time. it really is like the tv shows.” he almost laughed at your childlike awe, reaching over to roll your chair closer to his own. satisfied with your positioning, spencer moved a few folders and notebooks from his desk to make room for your shared food. 

you could only get one bite in before a presence appeared behind you. “you invited mrs. genius here, and you didn’t tell anyone?” two hands came to grab spencer by his shoulders, causing him to jump slightly. 

the man smiled at you with possibly the whitest teeth you had ever seen. his broad shoulders, stature, and dark skin made him almost god-like. “morgan-“ spencer began before another head peaked around him.

“the woman, the myth, the legend!” the shorter blonde woman gasped, walking over to you. spinning your chair so that you were facing her entirely, her eyes lit up. “you are literally the cutest thing i have ever seen. boy wonder, why haven’t you brought her in sooner?” the nickname made you laugh, looking at spencer to see the embarrassed look on his face. 

“morgan and garcia, back off before you scare the poor girl away.” a dark-haired woman leaned against the desk behind you. soon after, another blonde and two older men crowed around you. 

they waited eagerly as spencer introduced you, looking between you two as if this were the best thing they had ever seen. “it’s nice to meet you all. spence has told me so much about you guys.” you rose from your seat, shaking their hands so as not to come off as unprofessional in such a serious building. 

even if it contradicted their previous actions…

“she even has a nickname for him, oh derek hold me before i pass out from the beauty of young love.” penelope held her hand to her heart, leaning into the man beside her as he rolled his eyes from her antics. 

“she was nearly this dramatic when she noticed the picture spencer put up of you on his desk.” rossi pointed at the item you had failed to notice as you arrived. 

tucked beside his computer, a small black and white photobooth strip stared back at you. memories of the early bits of your relationship flooded your mind.

you smiled lightly at the last panel, remembering how nervous you had been to kiss spencer on camera. he looked up at you, mirroring your expression.

the team continued to interrogate you, asking about where the two of you met, your first date, who asked out who first, almost as if they were profiling you. 

spencer sighed at the realization, clearly annoyed at your alone time being interrupted. you noticed, sitting back down beside him and looking at him to reassure him that you were fine. 

“glad to see she really likes him and wasn’t paid.” emily nodded towards spencer’s cheek. a light pink kiss mark adorned his skin, making the rest of the team snicker before he wiped it off with the back of his hand. 

“are you guys trying to scare her away?” spencer whined, feeling like a boy introducing his first girlfriend to his embarrassing family. 

“come on, reid, we’re only messing with you.” jj perched her hand on her hip, smiling at you warmly. “we’ll let you guys be for now, but don’t leave too soon. we have to give her a tour!” penelope insisted, turning to the group as they all shook their heads in agreement. 

“that’d be nice, thank you.” you replied before turning back to your boyfriend. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” spencer mumbled, leaning into your side.

you ruffled his hair, “i see why you talk about them so much. they clearly care about you a lot.” you looked over your shoulder, catching them spying from one of the conference rooms. 

smirking you turned back to spencer, kissing his cheek once more before you continued to eat and talk about what you’d plan to do after he got off work. 

after you finished your mostly uninterrupted lunch, you were swept away by penelope as she gave you your promised tour. showing you everyone’s office, the break room, multiple conference rooms, and even the dingy locker room in the very back.

after one tight hug from morgan, a promise for a girls night from penelope, some teasing from jj and emily, and more typical goodbyes from hotch and rossi, you were finally walking back to your car.

you expected spencer to just walk you back to the elevator, but your face quickly lit up when he stepped inside, pulling you flush against him and pressing a button to make the doors close.

“finally have you alone.” he mumbled before crashing his lips to yours. you gasped at his sudden boldness, highly due to the lack of curious eyes, and moved your hands to rest behind his neck.

his hands went under your jacket, yearning to be close to you but having enough sense to not pull anything too risky. “i’ve been wanting to do that since you’ve got here.” he pulled away shortly before the ding of the elevator announced your arrival.

you just grabbed his hand and pulled him along side you. “they were really sweet, spence. i’m happy you work with people that are so much like a family.” as you made it to your car you turned around, your back leaning against your trunk as spencer came to stand in-front of you.

“they’re nosey like one, for sure.” he joked, bringing his hand to rest on your hip once again. you sighed before reaching up to kiss him one last time. “i’ll see you tonight.” you promised, squeezing his hand before it left yours in his return to work.

before you got in your car, you turned around looking up to see six familiar faces looking right back at you.

just something i thought of off a whim because i saw an edit of the bau to 400 lux by lorde and got SOOOOO emotional. like thats my family fr!!!! hope you enjoyed<333

[luveline]

Just re-watched the prison Reid arc and whew! Can I request post prison Reid getting to meet his new baby for the first time with a civilian reader? Like he was arrested while reader was still pregnant and she gave birth right before he got out? Maybe have a Diana cameo cause I just love her🤭

ty for requesting! fem, 1.6k

“Do you want me to take him?” 

You give Diane a grateful smile. “Is that okay?” 

Diane is reedy like Spencer, tall and skinny, but strong, too. She treads the carpet in her moccasins and holds out her arms for the baby, shushing him softly as you pass him over. You’ve had to look after her these last few weeks in a way you weren’t prepared for, but she’s looked after you in turn.

She’s almost completely lucid today. The good news has its hooks in her. 

You look out of the window again. The baby coughs in Diane’s arms, a clearing sound after feeding. If she’s gentle with him he’ll fall asleep before Spencer gets home. You aren’t sure what to do, let him sleep or wake him. What would Spencer want? 

I want to come home, he’d said, choked up over the phone, so badly. I’m so sorry. 

“Are you sure you won’t call him Walter?” Diane asks. “Spencer likes that one.” 

“I’m sure, Diane. He liked Jasper, so…” You bite the tip of your tongue until it aches, refusing to cry again. “So I went with Jasper. I hope he doesn’t mind.” 

That morning when Emily told you he was coming home, you cried like you’ve never, ever cried. So hard that Jasper woke up in his cot across the room and cried with you. 

You’d cried a lot after Spencer was arrested, and worse when he was imprisoned. You cried like a baby the day you went into labour because you knew you’d have to do it alone, when Spencer promised he’d be there with you, that you wouldn’t have to do any of the scary parts alone. 

It didn’t take long to stop. You’d grabbed Jasper with your cheeks soaked in tears and rubbed his back, that small stretch of warmth under your hand like a lifeline. In a way, Jasper being Spencer’s has made this easier. You’ve had a part of him. It just wasn’t enough to get over missing him. Every bit of joy —you have a baby now, your beautiful boy— has been swiftly followed with an aching sort of grief. Spencer missed his first cry, first bath, the very first time he opened his eyes. You can’t go back. 

“They said three.” 

Diane doesn’t seem concerned. She’s missed Spencer as much as you have, and you know her worry for him has made her more poorly than she’d otherwise be most days, but the baby helps. “I’m gonna find his bear,” she says. 

You bend down, trying to see the corner of the street through the window. Then you remember the last time you left Diane alone in the kitchen and flinch. “Hey, Diane?” you call. 

She’s checking the drawers for the bear. You’re not sure why she thinks the bear would be there, but perhaps that’s where she put it. “Can I make you a cup of tea or something?” you ask her. 

“You’re spying on me.” 

“Spying implies you don’t know what I’m doing.” 

She pats the baby’s back. “I can see why you and Spencer get along.” 

It’s a little more than getting along. 

Diane finds Jasper’s bear atop the bread bin, sitting at the kitchen table with him, the bear sat across from him, though Jasper’s already sleeping again. 

You put the stovetop kettle on to boil and realise with a start that you can make Spencer a cup of tea at the same time. Your smile is unfailing, then. He really is coming home. The kettle begins whining while you recover his favourite mug from the cabinet, untouched the entire time he was gone. 

“How many sugars today, Diane?” you ask. 

“Was that the door?” 

“What?” You’re putting the mug down before you can compute. 

“Angel?” 

You feel a rush of emotion all over at the sound of his voice. You try to call back to him, but you don’t manage anything more than a catching gasp as you push out of the kitchen and find him at the door. Right there at the end of the hall. 

Pale, tall. Arms already opening, half a step as you run at him. He doesn’t complain when your chest knocks against his. He doesn’t say anything at all. 

“Hi,” you breathe, pressing your nose to his shoulder. Your eyes stay open —it’s like panic without the fear. He’s really here in your arms. 

He squeezes you tightly. So tight you can’t breathe for a second. Then he gentles, his hands rubbing up and down your back out of sync, face falling into yours. 

In the kitchen, Jasper makes a croaky crying sound, a stirring Diane calms immediately. 

You attempt to pull away. Spencer will want to see Jasper, of course. He hadn’t met his own son. It was all he could talk about for weeks before he went away, and yet—

Spencer just rubs your back. After another half a minute like that, he asks, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” You clear your throat.

“Yeah? No one would tell me anything specific, I was worried you might not be alright.” 

“Everything went fine.” He holds you to his chest. He smells like cheap soap. “I didn’t– it was really okay. He was easy, like he knew I couldn’t handle any complications.” 

“And he–?”

You recognise the undercurrent in his voice. It’s the same thing you felt when they put Jasper on your chest for the first time. “He’s perfect.”

“All ten fingers?” 

You pull away. Immediately, Spencer’s taking your face into two hands, his eyes pouring into yours with an intensity that worries you. “He has all his fingers and toes,” you say quietly, “how about you? How’s your leg?” 

He doesn’t seem to be able to answer. Jasper makes another noise and Diane’s chair creaks. You turn with Spencer’s hand on your side, watching as Diane brings Jasper to the door. 

“Spencer,” Diane says, like she just saw him yesterday, “you’re late.” 

“Sorry, mom.” 

He always sounds younger when he talks to her. 

“Will you take the baby? I was just making some tea,” she says. 

Spencer nods but doesn’t move. 

“I’ll take him.” You kiss Spencer on the cheek. Remember you haven’t for weeks and kiss him again. “It’s okay.” 

You hold your arms out and take Jasper against your chest. Spencer takes a hesitant step forward, stops, hesitating, but when you turn to him with a comforting smile the band holding him back snaps. He crosses the room, breath pulled like he’d stopped as he cranes his head to see his baby. 

“Three weeks old today,” you say softly, tipping Jasper back so Spencer can see his face. “He missed his daddy, you know.” 

“You can’t know that.” 

“Of course I can. I’m his mom, Spencer… And who wouldn’t miss you?”

Spencer shakes his head gently, reaching out to caress Jasper’s full cheek. 

“Jasper,” Spencer says. 

“He’s been a great baby so far. Doesn’t give me much trouble. He cries all night, of course… but all babies do. He goes down after a while. I’ve–” You swallow the heat of missing Spencer like a barb dragging against the inside of your throat. “Told him you’re coming home. I told him every day, I promise.” 

“M’sorry,” he says, pained. 

“I know, Spence.” You nudge him. “Time to hold him, honey.” 

He’s more eager than you thought. It’s almost like he’s worried you won’t let him have the baby, but it’s like you told him on the phone: Spencer made a stupid mistake, and you still love him. He never should’ve been going back and forth like that, but you get why he did. Wouldn’t you want Jasper, one day, to care about you in the same way Spencer loves his mother? You forgave him the moment he apologised. 

“It’s alright,” you say, slotting Jasper from your arms to his, guiding his hand behind Jasper’s delicate neck. “Just hold him. He missed you.” 

Spencer sniffles. “I missed him too,” he says. 

“I know.” 

Diane realises eventually that Spencer being home is a big deal. It’s not her fault, not understanding, but the new baby, her relocation again, her nurse barely gone, and Spencer’s sudden homecoming, it’s probably too much to deal with. She finds you, Spencer, and Jasper on the couch in the living room and frowns at him heartily. “You won’t hug your own mother?” she asks.

“You’ll have to hug me around the baby,” he says, sorry. 

Diane agrees to this without fuss. She caresses his cheek as he’d done for Jasper as she pulls away. 

“Thank you for helping out, mom,” he says. 

“It was all Y/N, Spencer. You know mothers. We’re strong.” 

Spencer looks at Jasper, still sleeping, and then to you, a shade of adoring in his eyes you’ve never seen before. “I know,” he says. 

You curl into his side and take a breath. For the first time in weeks, you let your body relax, finding it sorer and angrier than you’d left it the last time you had the chance to check in. 

Spencer brings the side of your face to his lips to kiss your weary cheek. 

[bluerosefox]

Assassin Heir? Crime Fighting Furry? NOPE NO THANK YOU!

"Danyal, its time to end this game and return with me."

Danny should had known Clockwork had something in mind when he sent him on this mission. He knew he should had been suspicious of the time keeper when he noticed the little 'this is going to be fun' smile on his face when he sent Danny off into the portal.

"Get back here you demon spawn 2.0!"

But how was he supposed to know that he'd wake up in this world version of himself in a pit full of corrupted (AND NASTY) ectoplasim at the tender age of five or that when he swam up to the surface he'd be meeting face to face with what was apparently a cult.

"-O just spotted him a block away! I'll try to cut itty bitty bridie off!"

An Assassins Cult his, new to him, loving yet a little insane mother was in charge of (though during the few months he stayed in the compound he heard rumors and gossip from maids and others alike that if his grandfather returned from the dead he'll take over once again, no doubt punish Talia for creating another heir after the failure of the last one, most likely was going to kill Danny and that... that was can of worms Danny didn't wanna deal with yet)

"Ten bucks says they try to stab RR when we get the feral thing home"

"...Losers bet...."

Danny had lived with his mother for a while after being brought back from the 'dead' for apparently the first time, it turned out training a five year old with an actual sword and a dumbass hidden revenge seeking teacher was a terrible idea.

"I swear if this one tries to murder me like the others I'm asking Zatanna if there is a curse on me."

He dealt with her high demands of perfection, the endless training, and the constant comparisons to his apparent older brother Damain... Who didn't know Danny, or rather Danyal existed.

Nor did his father (when Danny, using his powers he's kept hidden since 'waking' up in this Realm, he sneaked his way around the base and discovered how he came into the world. And tbh he couldn't blame his mom how she made him, she was an assassin first and foremost, being naturally pregnant would had painted a target on her for to long... but he also felt it was unfair and an asshole move on his unsuspecting father as well)

"As your elder brother I demand you to stop running!"

Now don't get him wrong, he did like his new mother (total badass assassin lady and all that) and he knew she loved him in her own... deadly way. But yeah, she really shouldn't be taking care of kids. He could tell she struggled with wanting to be a normal mother but her first instinct after so many years was to be an assassin first.

Something she was trying to engrave into Danny with as well.

"Ah, hello Beloved. I see you've learned of our Danyal."

"Talia. Back away from him and leave Gotham now."

"I can not do that. The League needs an heir and since Damian refuses to return... I have decided to create a new one and I shall not be leaving until he returns with me."

"Talia."

Hence why when Danny, or rather Danyal al Ghul had gotten decent control over his powers he decided to leave the League. Again nothing wrong with the life his mom leads, to each their own, but he... really, really didnt want to be an assassin. Or an assassin heir.

So here he was, after almost a year on the run, using his powers and training to out smart and out maneuver his mother and her many band of Assassins, in Gotham. One of the last places he ever wanted to run to cause he knew his father and brother lived here.

It was just his luck that his mother had managed to intercept his train ride that passed into Gotham for a few hours and forced him to run into the city...

Add her assassins into the mix and running into Robin, who heard from Oracle his mother had been spotted chasing a young boy across the city, that same night.

After that it became a full on "catch me if you can" chase for not only his mother but for the batclan as well.

And after two whole days of chase, it seemed like the final showdown was about to begin because everyone was on top of this rooftop, his mother and her assassins on one side, his father and the batclan on the other and Danny well... he was right in the middle of all of it.

He just had to hope no one would notice him once the fighting started...

[undressrehearsal]

dare to be stupid

summary: a drunken game of truth or dare overtakes your study session

tags: NSFW, tlou au, college!ellie/reader, mentions of drugs, alcohol, drunk sex, oral (r receiving)

a/n: listen idk how this turned into 7.5k. idk what happened. also this is my first time writing smut. idk if the sex is good but it was already so long. if y'all like this one i'll write a sequel or something idk

part 2

“Truth or dare?” 

It had become a tradition for the two of you shortly after moving in together. It was common for the air in your tiny apartment to grow heavy, the stress and anxiety tangible in the air - often around midterms or finals, or if your roommate had a particularly infuriating project. During these times when the bags under your eyes grew too heavy to carry or the lines around your roommate's mouth deepened into canyons, one of you would barge into the other's bedroom - frequently in disarray with notes and textbooks strewn across every surface - slam a bottle of vodka down on the desk, and utter those stupid, little three words, and the game would begin.

And so you didn't even jump when you heard your bedroom door slam against the wall, heavy boots against the carpet. You had been bent over your desk for so long that your neck ached, your eyes swimming with letters that didn't quite make sense and didn't fit into any of the medical terms laid out on your flashcards. When Ellie slammed the bottle of vodka on your desk, you blinked your eyes clear and looked up to meet her eyes. 

She smirked when she said, “Truth or dare?” 

You didn't waste time in clearing off your desk, shoving your books and cards aside into a toppling pile. Ellie, without waiting for permission, set a shot glass down in front of you, kicked off her boots, and plopped back onto your bed. 

Scooting your chair closer, you propped your feet up against the mattress, pursed your lips, and said, “Truth.” 

Ellie groaned, flopping over onto her side and propping her chin in her hand. She had stripped off her jacket, leaving her in a dark t-shirt that almost made her skin look pale in the low light from your desk lamp. “You're such a fucking pussy.” 

You rolled your eyes even as a grin pulled at your lips. “I've known you for too long, Els, and I know that I need a few shots before I'm willing to shove anything anywhere for your amusement. So, respectfully, eat my ass.” 

“You'll have to dare me to,” she quipped back immediately. She wrinkled her nose as you choked back a laugh, tapping a finger against her lips. You tried to ignore how endlessly cute it was as she said, “Where's the weirdest place you've pissed?” 

Another sound burst from your lips, some mixture of a laugh and a shout. You gaped at her, watching as a laugh crept up, a smile tugging at her lips. 

Shaking your head, you said, “Weird, but that's a pretty tame one. Not gonna ask me about my favorite sex position or if I ever snuck drugs into our dorm room last year?” 

Ellie only shrugged. “Gotta warm you up a bit first, babe.” You ignored the way your heart jumped at such an innocent word. After a moment's pause, she added, “But have you?” 

“You'll just have to ask me. One truth per round, bitch.” You pretended to think about it for a moment, though you already had your answer. “Okay, so you remember when we first signed the lease here and we were a bit short on rent?” 

Ellie nodded, her brows furrowed in confusion. 

“Like, a week before it was due, some girl on Tinder hit me up. She was passing through town and only staying for the night, and she was bored. So, she paid me.” 

Ellie's frown deepened. “To, what, have sex with her?” 

Laughter bubbled up your chest as you said, “No, she paid me to piss in her mouth.” 

There was silence for several long moments. Ellie’s jaw hung loose, her eyes wide as she simply stared at you. Several emotions flashed across her face like a movie reel - confusion, shock, disbelief - before finally landing on pure, unfiltered amusement. The corners of her lips quirked up, her open mouth turning up at the corners until a loud, sharp laugh burst from her throat. When Ellie laughed - really, truly laughed - she did it with her chest, a sound so fathomless and full it filled up whatever room she was in. 

In your small bedroom, her laughter bounced off the walls, echoing in the alley outside of your open window. You couldn’t contain your own giggles, muffling your laughter with a hand over your mouth, snorting as Ellie buried her face in your mattress. 

When she finally looked up, her eyes filled with tears, she only said, around her subdued giggles, “How much?” 

You grinned. “$200.” 

Ellie’s mouth fell open again - you’d have to pick it up from the floor at this rate. “Dude, you’re fucking with me.” 

“I swear,” you said, holding up your hand like a scout. “I’ll show you the Venmo if you don’t believe me.”

Ellie fell back against the bed, throwing her head back. “You have to go find this chick on Missed Connections, she can help with the rent.” 

You threw one of your pens at her. Catching it in midair, she stuck the end in her mouth to chew on it. You wrinkled your nose at her, but she only grinned, the pen hanging from the corner of her lips. 

“You're so gross,” you said, though you were still giggling. 

“Bold words from you, Piss Girl. That's, like, the worst superhero name in existence.” 

You threw your hands up, trying your hardest to glare at her and failing miserably. “Hey, $200 is $200. I'm not one to kinkshame.” Ellie threw the pen back at you. You grimaced when it hit your arm, leaving a small spot of spit on your sleeve before clattering to the floor. “God, it's your turn. Truth or dare, bitch?”

Propping herself up on her elbows, Ellie said, “Dare.” A grin pulled at her lips, her voice low as she added, “Because I'm not a fucking pussy.” You stuck your tongue out at her, ignoring her when she mockingly said, “Mature.” 

Your desk was pressed up next to the only window in the room, cracked open to let the cool autumn air in. Your curtains fluttered in the breeze, the dying sunlight creeping in, casting light like liquid gold over Ellie’s skin. As you thought, scrambling to think of a suitable dare, you could not control how your eyes grazed over her exposed skin, the sunlight dipping in her collarbones like pools of ichor. 

Blinking, you met her eyes once more, your throat tight. Your words came out almost choked when you said, “Okay, I dare you to make a spicy two-sentence story about something in this room.”

Ellie scoffed, sitting up and kicking her legs over the side of your bed. “I’m gonna take a wild guess that your drawer of sex toys is off limits?” 

You sputtered, stammering over your own tongue as you felt heat rush to your ears. “Yes, that’s off limits. You don’t even know what’s in there!” 

Ellie hummed, standing up from the bed and taking a few steps around the room. She didn’t look at you, but you could hear that fucking smirk when she said, “That’s what you think, babe.” 

You watched her, tracking her movements as she slowly stepped around your room, scanning for inspiration. Your bedroom was about what you’d expect from a broke, overworked college student - aside from the furniture that came with the place, it was pretty barren. Ellie scanned the little touches you did have - her finger traced over the Funko Pop of Zuko on your bedside table, her eyes lingering on the pile of fantasy books you kept atop your dresser. She smiled at the posters hung crookedly on your walls, depictions of your favorite video games. She hummed again, looking back at you over her shoulder. 

“So many options to choose from,” she murmured, running her finger along your jewelry box. She had her face turned away, so you could only see the corner of her smirk as she lifted the lid, pulling one of your necklaces from its home. You watched her warily as she approached you, the chain dangling from her slim fingers. She stepped behind you, out of your line of sight, and slipped the necklace over your head, the cold metal resting against your collarbone. 

“She looped the chain around her lover’s neck like a collar,” Ellie said. You felt her cool fingers against the back of your neck, hooking around the chain and pulling it gently against your throat. You coughed against the awkward silence; your roommate had always been a little handsy, but this was something else entirely. What the fuck is she doing? you thought. “She pulled it taut against her throat and leaned in to whisper,” you felt Ellie’s lips against your ear, her rough voice sending a chill up your spine when she murmured, “good girl.”

Reaching back, you shoved Ellie’s head away; her laughter echoed through the room as she rounded in front of you, sitting back against your bed and grinning. 

“Oh, you’re so fucking proud of yourself aren’t you?” you teased, trying - and failing - to keep your cheeks from turning red. Your skin felt aflame, a tingle lingering right where Ellie’s lips had pressed to your ear. You rubbed at the spot under the pretense of scratching your head, willing the feeling to go away. 

Your heart was pounding so hard you could hardly hear her when she said, “Hell yeah, I am. I should’ve been an English major. I could write a whole fucking slutty novel and get famous. I'm an expert - I've done enough research.” 

You rolled your eyes at her cocky smile, but Ellie only winked at you. 

This is how your truth or dare games went - with Ellie being far too cocky, prancing around doing whatever dares you could think of and asking any outrageous questions that popped into her pretty little head; and you, simply trying your damnedest to keep up with her. You flailed, flustered, when she asked you about your toy collection, and begrudgingly relented when she dared you to bring out your favorite. Ellie took a shot before you had even finished daring her to text her last hookup (“I’m not reopening that bag of crazy,” she said, scrunching her nose at the taste.) You took a shot when she dared you to go mix all of the liquids in the fridge (which included pickle juice, old broths, and orange juice) into one amalgamation and chug it (“I’d rather chug the rest of the vodka, Els.”) 

“Truth,” you said before Ellie could even ask the question. You were three shots in and could feel that lightness pressing against your temples, just at the threshold of tipsy. You had moved to join Ellie on your bed, where you sat with your back against the headboard and Ellie’s head on your thigh. The vodka bottle was balanced precariously between you. 

Ellie rolled her eyes, but looked up at you and asked, “Out of our friend group, who have you fantasized about the most?” 

She had not even finished her sentence before you served yourself a shot, a few drops splattering on your shirt. Wincing at the taste, you looked back down at Ellie; her eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree, her jaw slack.

“Don’t-” 

“You have to,” she interrupted you, pinching your thigh and grinning when you squirmed away. “You have to tell me. You can’t leave me hanging here - you didn’t even let me finish the question!” 

“Why did you even assume I’ve fantasized about any of our friends-” 

“Because I know you.” She was scrambling up now, unsteady in her movements as she came to her knees in front of you, leaning back against her heels. She planted a firm hand on your thigh - your skin was still warm where her head had been - leaning into it, her eyes drawing so close you could almost see every speck within the hazel. “And I know that bitches like us always have somebody in the group they fantasize about. So, who is it?” 

“Bitches like us?” you repeated, raising your brow. You were sure each line of her palm was going to be branded into your thigh. “So, there’s somebody you think about too?” 

Ellie’s smile was on the very edge of teasing, a small quirk at the corner of her lips that screamed at you just how wrapped around her finger you were - and, somehow, she didn’t even know it. Her voice was low, nothing more than a murmur that you could practically feel in your own chest when she said, “You really wanna know?” You didn’t answer - couldn’t, really, not when her fingers dug into your thigh and you could count each freckle across her nose. You couldn’t answer when she leaned in closer, her warm breath brushing against your cheeks, smelling of the weed you knew she had smoked that afternoon. You could hardly hear her over the rush of your own heart when she whispered, “You’ll just have to ask me.” 

Maybe it was the vodka warming your chest, tingling in your fingers - or maybe it was the way the light from your lamp cast sharp shadows across Ellie’s face, turning her skin into liquid gold - but you did not push her away. Your grip tightened around the neck of the bottle, but you held her gaze when you said, “Truth or dare, Els?” 

Her voice was soft, her half-lidded eyes holding yours as she said, “Truth.” 

“Who have you fantasized about?” The words rushed out of you before you could hesitate.

And for a moment, you believed she would answer. You let yourself believe that she would give you the answer you craved. It prickled at your skin, raising goosebumps along your arm, spreading warmth through your stomach. But your roommate had never been so straight-foward - had never given you an easy answer. She wet her lips, drawing your eyes to her mouth involuntarily, but she only pried the vodka bottle from your fingers. She held your gaze as she raised it to her lips, drinking straight from the bottle without even wincing. 

“I can play that game too, baby.” She backed away, finally giving you a moment to breathe. She settled back against the wall, laying her arms over her knees, the bottle dangling from her fingers. The skin of your thigh still burned, branded with her fingerprints. 

You looked away, huffing out a laugh that you prayed sounded sincere. You could feel her eyes on you when you leaned your head back against the wall, counting the cracks in your ceiling like they were the most interesting thing in the whole world. “It’s getting late, Els,” you said, even as your phone flashed that it wasn’t even nine yet and here you were, too many shots in, your roommate’s presence like a fire blazing in your room. “I should get back to studying.” 

“Do you want to, though?” There was an edge to Ellie’s voice, as though that question was a dare itself. You lifted your head to look at her and found that she was already watching you, her eyes soft in the dim light. 

You took a deep breath - and the vodka must have reached your brain, because before she could ask, you said, “Dare.”

You could see the vodka in the lazy tilt of her smile, in the way her head lolled against the wall. Her eyes were half-lidded, and yet there was something hidden behind her slow, sleepy gaze, something you were too afraid to name - something you were sure was only the imagination of your tipsy fantasies. 

“Close your eyes,” Ellie said, words lazily falling from her lips, as deep and rich as the strings of a guitar. 

It took you several moments longer than usual to process what she had said. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, as if the two of you were underwater. You shouldn't have felt like this after a few shots - you'd usually only be tipsy at this point. But something about the way the shadows dipped into Ellie's collarbones and the way her shirt rode up, exposing her boxers and the sharp cut of her hips, was intoxicating on its own. 

So it took you several long, heavy moments to say, “What?” 

She chuckled, but there was no malice behind it. There was something soft in the tilt of her head, the way she tilted her chin down to look at you through her lashes. Her hair fell in her face, brushing against her nose; you fought the urge to brush it away, knowing that if you did you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from running your fingers through her hair. You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from grabbing a fistful of the auburn strands- 

“Close your eyes,” she repeated in that same honey-thick voice, breaking you from your thoughts. “For thirty seconds. And don't open them no matter what.” When you only stared at her for several silent moments, she added, “How long have we been friends? Don't you trust me?” 

And the thing was, you did. You trusted her with your entire heart, and so you closed your eyes, and you waited. 

You felt the bed shift next to you but you did not open your eyes. You did not open them when you felt her long fingers grip your shoulder as she struggled to steady herself. You felt her hair first, fine strands brushing against your cheek, smelling of sweat and her shampoo. You did not open your eyes, even when you felt the gentle press of a warm mouth against the side of your neck. You hardly dared to even breathe, your hands tangling in your sheets, afraid that you would not be able to control yourself otherwise. You counted the long, torturous seconds, biting down on your lip when you felt Ellie’s mouth part, the warmth of her tongue pressing against your pulse. 

You had counted to twenty-six when she pulled away, a chill settling over your skin where that warmth had been only seconds ago. When you got to thirty, you opened your eyes to find that Ellie had settled back into her spot, leaning back against the wall. The only sign that she had even moved was the thin sheen over her lips, wet with her own saliva, and a small, pleased smirk. 

You did not allow yourself to think about it, ignoring the way your skin burned where she had touched you as though she were a wildfire. You sounded breathless even to your own ears when you said, in barely more than a whisper, “Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.”

“What are we doing here, Ellie?” The words were out before you could stop them, slipping from between your teeth and hanging in the air like helium. The words felt almost tangible, and yet you couldn't grasp them, couldn't draw them back into your throat. 

For a moment, you thought Ellie would grace you with an answer. She opened her mouth, and you thought maybe she would finally stop playing this game and let you breathe. Instead, just like before, she brought the bottle to her lips and held your gaze. You tried not to watch the way her throat moved as she swallowed. 

She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and recapped the bottle, settling it between you. “Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.” You felt you could no longer trust yourself with any dare she gave you. Your hands were already shaking from clenching the sheets.

“How would you rate your last kiss?” 

You squinted at her, confused by the innocence of the question after everything that had happened in the past hour (had it only been an hour?). “My last kiss was with that one girl I met at the bar a few weeks ago. She was drunk and way too sloppy, but she was hot. I guess I'd give it,” you paused, trying to remember the moment past the haze; you couldn't even remember the girl's name, “a six.” 

Ellie raised her eyebrows, her eyes widening. “A six?” She shook her head, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “You’ve got to be fucking with me. A girl like you deserves more than a six.” 

“A girl like me?” Your voice sounded deafening in the quiet. You thought it had started to rain; you could hear the pitter patter on your window, could see the way it broke up the streetlamps outside like a mosaic. 

Ellie was nodding almost absently, watching the rain. Her lips parted, and you didn’t expect her to hesitate before she said, “Yeah. A girl like you… deserves to be kissed like it’s the last gasp of air to someone drowning.” You watched her mouth as she spoke, even as your mind screamed at you to look away. You scolded yourself, screaming to end this now, but your body refused; it ached to draw her near, a tangible pain in your chest. “A girl like you should get one of those movie kisses - you know, like when the hero saves the day and shit and he kisses his girl and it’s like the world didn’t matter as long as he saved her. The kind that has the whole fucking theater holding their breath. A girl like you…. Fuck….” She trailed off her rambling. Ellie ran a rough hand through her hair, making the strands stick up at odd angles, and finally looked at you. There was a fire in her eyes, blazing in the dim light. “You deserve to be kissed like they’ll die if they can’t have you.” 

Something had stopped in your chest - maybe it was your breath, maybe it was your heart. Your blood rushed in your ears, and you feared the thrum of your heartbeat was so loud it filled your entire bedroom. Your traitorous heart pressed at your bedroom walls, filling up the space and leaving room for little else. 

Your voice was only a whisper, and you wanted to kick yourself when you said, “We should really go to bed. I have an exam tomorrow.” 

Your roommate pressed her lips together, and she did not break eye contact as she said, “Dare.” 

You shook your head, looking away from her to try, desperately, to break whatever spell had taken hold of you; but your eyes were drawn back to her as if she were the only fucking light in the dark. You had to get a hold of yourself before you did something you’d regret, but you felt intoxicated with something far stronger than the cheap vodka you had bought from Walmart. 

“You’re drunk, Els,” you said, and you sounded so breathless you may as well have given up then and there. 

Ellie leaned closer, holding your gaze, and you could see the exact shade of desire in her eyes. She was so fucking warm - your head spun from it, heat radiating from her skin when she planted a hand on the bed right next to your hip. Her wrist brushed against the bare skin under your shorts, and you felt her voice vibrating in your chest when she said, “Dare.” 

And it was like she had finally pulled the last fucking thread that made you unravel, because you couldn’t stop yourself - didn’t even think to - before you said, “Kiss me.” 

You only had a second to register the smile pulling at the edges of Ellie’s lips before she grabbed your face and pulled you in to smother it. You had never imagined what kissing Ellie would be like - had never allowed your imagination to wander so far over the edge - but she did not kiss like she was drowning. She kissed with the same slow gentleness as when she played the guitar, her long fingers plucking at the strings with the careful deliberation of a lover. 

And she felt so fucking warm. You were high with it; high with the heat radiating from her fingers pressed to your cheeks; high from the way her breath snaked past your parted lips, gentle huffs of warmth against your skin. Your head swam as you pressed into her, your hands tangling into the fabric of her shirt, fingers unsure even as you ached to pull her closer. 

Ellie pulled back for a moment - for only a moment, but each second her lips weren't on yours caused an ache in your chest. Her eyes hovered inches from yours, so fucking green it was dizzying - though you couldn't see much of the color passed the eclipse of her pupils. Her cheeks were flushed - from the vodka, from something else entirely - her freckles popping against the color. You could only imagine how you looked, could feel the desire written across every inch of your face. 

Your fists tightened in her shirt, and you used the leverage to pull her back into you; and suddenly, it felt like you were the one drowning. You couldn’t breathe as Ellie devoured you, the gentleness replaced with a hunger you hadn’t known lived inside her. She pressed her tongue against the seam of your mouth until you relented, opening up to her, a soft sound escaping your throat when her tongue ran along the roof of your mouth. 

That sound - nothing more than a breathy sigh - ignited something in Ellie. Suddenly, she was all teeth and tongue and hot, hot breath in your mouth, sucking your bottom lip between her teeth. She bit down when a shaky sigh forced its way from your throat, soothing it with her tongue and swallowing the moan it elicited. Her hands were in your hair, the strands twisted between her fingers, and when you bit down on her lip, she pulled - you gasped at the sharp pain on your scalp. 

“Fuck,” she cursed against your lips, and you could feel that single syllable, hot breath in your mouth that you wanted to swallow. She didn’t continue for a long time, couldn’t form any other words past the way her lips made you unravel. Her hands trailed down your shoulders, fingers grazing lightly over the bare skin of your arms, before finding your hips, gripping them in a vice and tugging you closer. “Fuck, come here,” she said, her voice nothing more than a low growl that you felt in your chest. 

And you were drunk - from the cheap vodka and sleep deprivation and Ellie. You were drunk on the way her eyes were eclipsed, her lips red and bitten and swollen, parted so you could feel each exhale against your cheeks. Her eyes were dark, hooded. Her fingers dug into your hips, and you were drunk, but shit, how the hell could you say no to her? How could you possibly say no when she was looking at you like she was starving? 

Her hands guided you closer so you swung a leg over her hips and settled in her lap, your hands braced on her shoulders. She leaned her head back against the wall and just looked at you for several long moments, biting down on her lip. You couldn’t stop watching her mouth, mesmerized as she said, “Fuck, look at you.” 

And then she was kissing you again, her hands gripping your hips like it was a lifeline. Your hands found their way to her hair, curling your fingers in the short locks, using it as leverage to pull her closer. You could feel how each point of your body fit into hers; your thighs against her legs, her hands curling perfectly over the swell of your hips. You could feel the swell of her breasts against your chest, and you so badly wanted to feel her skin against yours. You felt like you’d go crazy from the raw want radiating from your body. 

Ellie’s lips traced a map across your cheek, down your jawline. You tilted your head so she could kiss the hinge of your jaw, the spot right below your ear. She paused there, planting hot, open-mouth kisses across your neck, before her teeth bit down on that sensitive spot, pulling the skin into her mouth, and you practically melted into her. You couldn’t control the sounds falling from your lips like honey, gripping at her hair as she soothed the bruise with her tongue. 

“Ellie….” Your voice was nothing more than a whimper; you swallowed hard and tried again, pressing a hand firmly at her shoulder. “Ellie.” 

She only hummed against your skin, and you could feel the vibration against your pulse. The sound went straight to your stomach and dipped even lower when she bit at your collarbone. 

The next time you said her name, it came out as a moan; you cleared your throat. “We can’t do this - you’re drunk, Els.” 

Your roommate hummed again, but she relented, leaning her head back against the wall to look up at you. And - fuck. Her lips were red and swollen, still wet from the kiss. Her cheeks were flushed, and - God, her eyes. You had never understood the term bedroom eyes, but Ellie looked at you as though she wanted to devour you. Like any second her hands weren’t on you was torture. Like she wanted to bite and kiss and taste every inch of your skin. 

“Truth or dare,” she said, her voice so hoarse you had to clench your thighs around her hips. 

“What?” 

“Truth or dare,” she repeated, her eyes never leaving yours. And this wasn’t part of the game, but you played along anyway, unable and unwilling to tell her no. 

“Truth,” you sighed. 

One of Ellie’s hands traced up your side. She ran her fingers across your collarbone, up your throat, before stopping to cup your jaw, her skin rough against yours. “Do you want this?” 

You nodded, the vodka making it impossible to feel shy. 

“How long have you wanted this?” Ellie’s thumb pressed at the seam of your lips, and you let your mouth fall open. She watched, hypnotized, dipping just the tip of her thumb between your lips before withdrawing. 

It was against the rules - two questions for one truth - but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “A long fucking time.” Your voice was weak and breathy, and you couldn’t bother to be embarrassed about that either. Your attention had narrowed in on Ellie, and the way her fingers skirted across your chest, the way her other hand gripped your hip - how you could feel the warmth of her thighs between your legs. 

Taking your chin in her hand, she drew you closer, and you could feel her lips moving against yours: “So what the hell is stopping us?” 

This time, when she kissed you, you did melt into her. You gripped her hair in your fists and swallowed the moan it drew from her, shivering when her teeth caught on your lip. She had both hands on your hips again, and she gripped them so hard you were sure you’d find bruises there in the morning in the shape of her fingers. She pulled you closer, pulling your hips down into her; the friction through your pajama shorts made you moan against her lips. 

And you decided to play her game. 

“Truth or dare?” you said, drawing away just enough to see the eclipse of her eyes. 

Ellie, always stubborn, murmured, “Dare.” 

You tugged at the hem of her shirt, your fingers brushing the warm skin beneath; you marveled at the shiver that ran through her body. You ducked your head to kiss along her jaw, pressing the words into her skin. “Take this off.” 

She didn’t waste any time tugging the shirt over her head, tossing it to the floor before skidding her fingers over the bare skin above your shorts. You lifted your arms and let her pull your shirt over your head before realizing you weren’t wearing anything beneath. Who wears a bra to study in their own apartment? 

But you didn’t have a moment to cover your body in embarrassment before Ellie’s lips were on you again, as if it pained her to not taste you for even a moment. Her hands spread across your back, pulling you into her as she peppered hot, open-mouthed kisses across your collar; you hissed when her teeth bit down over your collarbone, soothing the pain with her tongue. 

“Tell me to stop and I'll stop,” Ellie said, her voice muffled as she kissed down over your chest; you shivered when her teeth sank into the skin of your boob, sucking another bruise there. She certainly loved leaving her signature on any inch of your skin that her mouth could reach. 

You groaned low in your chest, your fingers tugging at her hair, pulling a gasp from her lips. You almost didn’t recognize your own voice - breathy and thick with desire - when you said, “Please don’t stop.” 

The next thing you knew, Ellie was shoving you off of her lap; your back hit the mattress, your head just barely missing the headboard, but you couldn’t even think about that. Your roommate was crawling over you, and you were hypnotized by the way her muscles tensed, her arms caging you against the bed. Her skin was fucking obscene, smooth plains stretching for miles, cast in liquid gold in the lamplight.

“God, look at you,” she said again, pressing a kiss to your clavicle. Her hand was like worn clay when it traced a teasing line over your hip. Her voice was muffled against your skin, but you caught the end of her sentence: “- so fucking pretty.” 

Your only response was a choked gasp when Ellie pressed the flat of her tongue to your nipple. You gripped her shoulder, feeling her lips close around you as she sucked your skin into her mouth; you winced when she released it, feeling her teeth graze maddeningly over your nipple. 

“Truth or dare?” she said into your skin, her voice vibrating in your bones. 

You groaned, gripping her shoulder when she licked a line over your other nipple. If you had thought about this (which, if anybody asked, you didn’t), you never would have imagined your roommate being such a fucking tease. 

She hummed, and you could feel the vibration in every nerve. For a moment, you couldn’t find your tongue, your voice caught in your chest until she released your skin with a pop of her lips. She looked up at you, batting her eyes, and dammit if your body didn’t arch, searching for her mouth again. 

Propping herself up on her elbows, she watched you through her lashes, an intoxicating smirk across her lips; they were still shining wetly. She broke you from your thoughts when she murmured, “Use your words, angel.” 

Your thighs clenched around her words, automatically and unconsciously. You were sure you could get drunk on the way her voice filled the room, rough and rich as the chords she played. It was through clenched teeth that you said, setting your pride aside, “Dare.” Your cheeks burned when it came out as a moan. 

You could feel her smile against your skin as she kissed down your stomach, silent for several long, torturous moments. You felt her teeth sink into your hip bone briefly, your hips jerking at the sensation. It earned you a chuckle before you felt Ellie’s hands pressing your hips into the mattress, holding you still. You groaned low in your throat when you felt her tongue against the skin over the band of your shorts, licking a stripe right above the fabric before taking the elastic between her teeth and tugging. You jumped when she released it, the band snapping back against your skin. You didn’t have to look at her to see the sparkle in her eye. 

You swore your heart stopped completely when she murmured, “I wanna go down on you.” 

Despite this game she was insistent on playing, it wasn’t said like a dare; it was said like a question, or a request. There was no expectation behind it. Ellie was asking, you realized with dizzying satisfation, for permission. 

“Fuck.” It came out as only a breath, a whisper against your tongue. Your fingers ached from gripping the sheets and she hadn’t even touched you yet. “Fuck,” you tried again, and it was a groan this time but at least it was louder. “Yeah. Yeah, please, fuck.” Words were just falling from your lips because when you looked down, Ellie - your roommate, your friend - was watching you, propped between your legs with that fucking smirk, and how could you possibly string together a complete sentence? 

And Ellie… didn’t. She didn’t follow up on her dare. Not immediately, at least. No, she took her sweet fucking time - always so damn precise, taking her time in hooking her fingers over the band of your shorts. She pulled them down so slowly you could feel every inch down your legs. And then you were lying beneath your roommate in nothing but your underwear - and dammit, if you had known this would be happening, you would have opted for something a little sexier than a cotton pair with constellations on them. 

Ellie smiled. “Cute,” she said, before sinking her teeth into the flesh of your thigh. You were thankful it was cold out - you’d have to wear layers to hide all the places her mouth had been. 

Your roommate ducked her head, and you gasped when you felt her press a featherlight kiss against the fabric of your underwear, right where warmth pooled between your legs. 

You huffed, twisting the sheets between your fingers. “God, you’re such an asshole - fuck-” You were cut off when Ellie licked a stripe up your panties, warm tongue pressing against your throbbing clit. You moaned at the relief, feeling the wetness of her mouth through the fabric. It wasn’t enough - you needed to feel her against you, needed her tongue to unravel you piece by piece. You pressed your hips down against her lips but her hands held you in place. 

You huffed out a breath, her name slipping from your lips when you moaned. “Ellie….” 

And then she was yanking your underwear down your hips; you gasped, lifting your ass to help her shove them down. She had only gotten them just below your knees before she was pressing back in, too impatient to finish the job. 

And - fuck, her mouth. Ellie’s mouth was fucking magic. You moaned into the quiet room when she pressed the flat of her tongue against your pussy, licking a stripe between your lips. You couldn’t control the curses slipping between your teeth when her tongue made teasing circles around your clit until you were whimpering, aching for her. She had released your hips to dig her fingers into your thighs, nails digging in, and you’d surely have crescent-shaped bruises there tomorrow - even more to cover up. You pressed your hips down against her, groaning, her name only a whisper: “Fuck, Els-” 

And then she finally, finally, gave you what you wanted. 

Ellie ate pussy like it was her fucking job, like she was clocking into a shift and working her ass off for those tips. She lapped at your clit like she was starving, pressing her lips against you until you were dizzy, your entire body tuned in to the warmth of her tongue and the gentle graze of her teeth. You shuddered when you felt that tongue press into your core, a brief pressure that pulled curses from your lips, words tripping over each other: “Ah - fuck - fuck, Ellie - oh my God, fuck-” 

It didn’t take long for tension to build in your stomach. You were intoxicated; you were tipsy, yes, but something about the way Ellie moved her tongue - long, slow circles around your clit, using the flat of her tongue to draw you closer to the edge - was like a damn drug. You got what you wanted: She unraveled you with her tongue, tugging curses from your lips. You could hear your own moans echoing against your quiet bedroom and you couldn’t even feel embarrassed about it. 

Ellie took your clit between her lips and sucked, pulling you into her mouth and-

A long, low moan pulled at your throat when you came. Your hand came up to grip at her hair, fingers twisting in the soft strands. She moaned when you pulled, and the vibration against every nerve pushed you further; you could feel your orgasm in your chest, could feel it trembling in your thighs. 

Ellie worked you through it, her tongue dancing against you as you rode out your high. She didn’t stop, pressing her lips against you, dipping her tongue into your core again, until you were shoving against her head, your hips bucking at the sensitivity. 

When she raised her head, she was grinning, that wicked, infuriating grin she always had when she was pleased with herself. She rested her head against your thigh for a moment, watching you as you blinked the stars from your eyes. You relaxed your fingers in her hair, smoothing your thumb across her temple. 

The only thing you could say, breathless and dizzy, was, “Fuck, Els. What the fuck?” 

Ellie laughed, the sound unarming the silence around you, the anxiety of what this meant. She pressed a kiss to your thigh, right over the little indentations where her nails had dug into the flesh, and just said, “Yeah?” 

You giggled, tugging at her hair gently. You looked down at your roommate - and you didn’t know what this meant for the two of you, but that could be a problem for tomorrow, when you weren’t drunk and sleep-deprived and naked beneath your friend. For now, you only said, “Truth or dare?” 

Ellie blinked, raising an eyebrow, and said, “Truth.” 

You considered not asking for a moment, unsure if you wanted to know, but curiosity pressed at you until you asked, “What do I taste like?”

The grin spread wider, Ellie’s eyes sparkling as she pushed herself up. She crawled up your body, taking a moment to press a kiss to your stomach, to the bruises she had left littered across your chest - you moaned when she took a nipple briefly into her mouth. She kissed her way up your neck, across your jaw, sucking at the skin beneath your ear - another fucking bruise to worry about. God, it was like she wanted her signature on you, branded in every inch of your skin. 

Her face hovered an inch above yours, propping herself up on her elbows, smirking. She leaned in close, leaving room for you to turn away if you wanted. Instead, you tilted your chin up and kissed her again. 

You wrinkled your nose at the metallic taste of yourself against her lips. You didn’t like it, the way your own scent wafted over you. But fuck if you didn’t open your mouth when you felt Ellie’s tongue pressing at the seam of your lips. She moaned when your tongue ran along the roof of her mouth, pressing into the taste of you. 

When she pulled back, her eyes were soft, her cheeks flushed. “Like that.” 

You rolled your eyes, turning your face away; you had to admit, even if you hated how you tasted - tasting yourself against her tongue sent a wave of heat between your legs all over again. You only said, “Gross.” 

Ellie leaned in again, and you felt her lips ghosting against your jaw. You felt her breath against your skin when she whispered, “Truth or dare?” 

You lifted your chin to give her access to your neck, sighing when she pressed a kiss against your pulse. “Truth.” 

Her breath huffed against you when she chuckled before raising her head to meet your eyes again, that same cocky smile spread across her lips. “Was that better than a six?” 

“Oh, fuck off.” You shoved against her until she rolled off of you. 

She flopped back against the mattress, still laughing, but she was holding her arm out for you. You only hesitated for a moment - but even if she was your roommate, she just made you see stars, so it’s not like cuddling would push against the boundary you had already broken. You curled into her, laying your head on her chest, the sports bra she was still wearing soft against your cheek.

You sighed, skimming your fingertips against the warm skin of her stomach. “Yeah,” you whispered before you could stop yourself. “Definitely better than a six.” 

You were starting to fall asleep, your eyes growing heavy, your study notes effectively forgotten. You burrowed into her further, wrapping your arm around her and pressing your fingers against her hip. You briefly wondered where the vodka bottle had ended up in the mess, but Ellie didn’t seem in any particular hurry to untangle herself from you, so you figured it could wait - surely it would be okay if she slept in your room for one night.

Just before you dozed off, you heard Ellie murmur, “You left the window open.”