#last night i really just fell asleep
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me: im going to be more active and post!
also me: passing tf out as soon as i get home
#ori.#im not made to work like this#i close tonight so i definitely wont be posting anything#but oh my god im so sleepy#last night i really just fell asleep#twice!!! i woke up and was like its hot and i turned on the fan and then went back to sleep#then i woke up AGAIN and fed my cat and then actually went to bed for real
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TFS TUESDAY!!! (WEDNESDAY??)
#whoops i had a really long day and i got really tired and fell asleep early#so ik TECHNICALLY its not tuesday but in my heart and soul today is still tuesday#actually i thought it was thursday#all day#but yk#tuesday!!#at least its not thursday like last time#ALSO#I WOULD HAVE GIVEN AN ARM AND A LEG TO GO TO THAT MITSKI CONCERT LAST NIGHT#JUST TO SEE HER SING GEYSER TBH#but its fine. totally fine. its not like im super upset about it or anything.#ALSO. TYLER THE CREATOR IS GOING TO BE AT COACHELLA??? HELLO???#GODD I HATE THE WEST COAST WHY DO ALL OF THE BANDS AND ARTISTS I LIKE GO TO CALIFORNIA AND NOT HERE#anyways enough about concerts i wish id gone to or could go to#let me shut up for five minutes so i can get to the new chapter#ik ive already asked this but be honest if you guys think these are annoying just tell me and ill shut up so fast and never make another one#ever
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Feelin down. Time to listen to my favorite song!
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted quinn#redacted david#not really i was just relistening to the push last night and fell asleep during the quinn aftermath audio lmao
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annoying
#actually excited for my favorite class tonite#listening to teen suicide i have to work#but i made coffee and did my laundry this morning#my dryer broke last night and i was gonna go to the laundromat but i didn't have any cash#so i just called my dad#and did laundry in his basement#and we watched some weird free documentary about irish gangs#and he fell asleep and i drove home at 1 am and everything was beautiful#im really struggling with body image and feeling beautiful or even normal#so here are two photos of me
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my niece is staying with us for the whole weekend for the first time. until now it's always been one night only, not two.
it's the second night now and I have already decided this is not happening again anytime soon. I'm so fucking exhausted. it'd be less exhausting if it was my nephew, I think - he's older and also doesn't need as much help (even when he was her age).
I love my niece but she just asks so many questions. like when we're watching a show or a movie, even if it's one she has seen before (even multiple times), she doesn't understand what's going on and constantly asks me to explain everything. I don't mind it, really, but it does take a lot of energy. plus tonight it took over two hours for her to fall asleep because she was scared by the noises of the house and the nearby road. I get it, but damn I'm so fucking tired, I just want to sleep 😭
#my nephew will get to stay for two nights soon so that it's fair and everything#but then I think we'll go back to one night only for a while#I just can't sleep when someone else is here. and I do not handle being tired well. or rather being even more tired than usual#so yeah no this is too much#I'm so glad I don't have children. I literally would not survive#we played board games with her today. her idea. she chose the gsme#but it was so fucking difficult.....#I think most kids would have understood this game at like. 10 maybe. probably before that really#she's 12 and a half and just did not get it at all#she's got difficulties learning and she's finally getting (more) help for that in school now but I'm really.. a bit shocked that it took#this long for her parents to accept that#she's a great kid but it's been obvious since she started school that she needs more help#so anyway yeah it's 3am and I think she finally fell asleep after I put Charmed on for her#I've got a massive headache and I'm so fucking tired I feel like I'm losing my mind lol#couldn't sleep last night & I hope it's better tonight. but having someone else here is stressful.#ugh I wish this wasn't so hard for me. I want to be the fun aunt (I'm their only aunt.. aunt-like person... whatever) but I know I get more#and more impatient when they're here. I hate that. but I can't change it. I've tried! for 10 years! but it didn't work#don't get me wrong - I'm never mean or angry with them. I just get somewhat annoyed and I know it's noticeable and I hate that#they don't seem to mind. they love visiting us. but I don't like it because I hated the way adults treated me when I was a kid so I want to#be better#:(#anyway I have to sleep now or tomorrow will be hell :)#personal
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two things about me:
i will turn on a tarot reading and then just keel over and fall asleep a good 5 mins in every time.
i will sleep through a cupcakke album.
#tarot readings just act like asmr for me it's lights out#also as cass will know: we sleep through smut too 🤝#i fell asleep halfway through cupcakke's new album last night hfjhjsk#maybe i'm just ✨exhausted ✨#also i'm getting back into asmr videos esp recently and found this artist that really makes tingles happen on my head and it's crazy#to feel it works#i've always found asmr relaxing but never got major tingles#personal
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but on that note, it would be handy to have a pirates smp tag reserved for fans only! so like, for stuff you want to share with the fandom but NOT the ccs, since they're here now. maybe some of you guys can blacklist the tag if you want! but that would be useful i think
#like we need a cc/fan separation#and back in rats that was smth severely missing i think. not even a public fan discord server that didnt have ccs running it#anyway just tagging the blr tag for now since its still a bit discoursey i guess??? not really??? just a suggestion idk!#like we already have piratesshipping tags but this would be a good place for people to share stuff quietly without like. maintagging#scurvyblr#okay NOW im done talking about this this is what i wanted to get to last night but fell asleep
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No I'm not still awake at checks notes 8:03 AM, what are you talking about?
#always funny to me when I talk about having a crap sleep schedule#and people will reply with 'oh yeah I fell asleep at 4 last night'#and I'm sitting here like 'y-yeah. that's. really bad.'#o-o#anyway I have a FitBit now!#time to see how crap my sleep is ig#I don't actually think it's that bad it's just the hours XD
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If you think I'm not thinking of gaahina in THINK AGAIN
#bf fell asleep now im all alone with horror movies. grapefruit soju and gaahina fanfic#and im reading gaahina fic tonight hehehe. eheHeh. ahaha. AH HAHAHA. AHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH MFKN TEEHEE#and i dont have work until 12 tmrw lesgo im about to have a good night whether these depressed thoughts want me to or not BITCH#you know what i think would help? drawing. i should've brought my tablet to his place#but i didnt think i was sleeping over i wasnt really feeling like it#but he just finished a student/faculty basketball game and he was sore so i figured 🤷🏾♀️#they won lol 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾#but yeah anyway i think i want to draw i think im recharged on it#it's been about a week since my last few artworks#it me
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#so i finished my 4 out of 4th 12 hour shift in a row last night and i'm literally so exhausted and i was glitching mid simple tasks 🤡✌️#my coworker asked to change shifts so he could have that one specific day as off#and he managed to do some very critical mistakes in his 4 days prior and that's considering his gf is often with him there#and i was the one suffering the consequences even if it's literally not my fault#ever since i've got this job i've been fixing so many mistakes of his i kept wondering who's the newbie here??#like i try to leave my shift as good as possible i clean everything check everything and do all my duties#and when i come here after his shifts it's.. a fucktonne of work mistakes and literal dirt like dude!!!#4 shifts in a row never again man never again i am so tired my brain is nerfed and i can only rest for 1 day today because tomorrow i'm#going to a doc;#my social battery is not just dead it's nonexistent at this point#i just want to lay in bed and not be percieved or interacted with for at least the same amount of days 😫#i really thought i could take a socially demanding and rather multitasking job without it taking hugest toll on my mental state huh???#and i had such a bad sleep too i had a very graphic and sickening nightmare which woke me up 2 hours after i fell asleep#and then i woke 2 more times after that and i feel so exhausted and not rested at all and so fatigued i can't even do anything#man for me my sleep being interrupted is the worst like i function better if i have a smaller amount of sleep but it's uninterrupted#than longer in hours but it gets interrupted and i wake up even once#sorry i come here once in few days vent post and then dissapearvckfkv 😭 i miss tumblr but have no energy currently to even rb anything 🥲#tbd
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youtube
#diana's music diary#good evening hii#i feel really good today!!! at least that's mood-wise...#my body hurts a lot from last night... whenever I take that stuff it makes my bones ache a lot after... brain's fuzzy too @@#it's still really really fun and nice despite that.. felt like I was lucid dreaming and I was so happy and felt so much love for my friends#spent the night just talking to my partner and a friend ive started talking to again recently!!#when I hit the peak I was so entranced by everything and was just watching everything get all bouncy and drifty and colourful and nice :3#fell asleep so happy while I was listening to music it was soooo comfy.. I remember seeing these fractal shape patterns pulling me to sleep#today I was supposed to play a game with the friend but it ended up being busy so we're going to do that another day instead ^_^#might play something with my partner instead idk... today I will just be resting I suppose!! kinda need rest anyways#let's make today good and cozy and full of love... love you friends ty for reading 😊
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I’m being a silly guy again don’t mind me. but my problem is that I’m entirely too willing to devote ungodly amounts of time to thinking about ichinose and his problems because I think. it’s been established. that I like weird guys. but it’s HARD to do that because a) he doesn’t show up nearly as much as masato does b) not as much to work with* and c) The dorm manager doesn’t have a fucking name. so. I don’t know Still might do it though
#*quitters attitude that i may very well abandon#something something canon is my playground. or something Frankly. really frankly#when i first read sasamiya (and then hirakagi) i absolutely did not think i would end up as in the trenches as i did#and yet. harusono is a master fisherman and i am just a foolish fish with an affinity for fancy lures#that said What the fuck is king’s NAME. ITS LIKE SO FUNNY TO ME BUT I’M TEARING MY HAIR OUT#like Ohhhh…… dorm manager……… thank you for worrying about me…….. <- said gayly you get it#i’m just saying words. speaking of which while i’m here i definitely was writing SOMETHING on the three-in-one last night but i fell asleep#and it didn’t save. so. Whatever i guess#just resigning myself to the fact that the sadomasochism section of the three-in-one will only go narrow field#which means i’ll need to immediately afterwards make the second part of it. for everyone else.#building on the fish thing can anyone just tear out my spine i’m tired#okay enough good talk though
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Aw man. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up or anything, but after seeing King's last scene at the end of the campaign, the way he had such a crush on Caleb and just went for it--it just makes me so sad we didn't get that anymore in the oneshots. I just miss all those playful and sweet moments between the Circus Man and Magic Man, and it's disappointing that we didn't get any chance to explore that or some sort of closure for those feelings. Especially since King was so forward about it in the end of c2 and we know his whole thing is chasing after what he likes.
And it's just? Heartbreaking? To see the rest of the Nein with their partners and then King just there alone, it just makes him feel more left out. Especially with the way king almost took the pact immediately and just said it was fine cause he didn’t have anything to lose like the rest of the Nein. That just hurts.
I don't know. I just wish he had some time to talk with Caleb, sort out those feelings, reconnect. We know he's getting his memories back, that things still linger. If he knew that handsome magician was the one who tried to bring him back to life, returned a forehead kiss from a lifetime ago, would it make him rethink selling his soul just for the thrill of it?
#kingsley breaks my heart#i just really wish we got more time to explore their relationship especially with how c2 ended and the little widomauk nods in the book#maybe it was one of those little plot things got dropped for time but i liked that end in c2 cause there was at least hope#it makes me so sad to think those feelings would just go away i hope we get to go back to their easy flirting and forehead kisses one day#I fell asleep like halfway through last night and now I don’t even think I wanna watch the rest it’ll make me too sad
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wallowing in self pity as an after work activity.
#I also watched tv and almost fell asleep#I woke up with a bad stomachache last night which kept me awake for a little over an hour before it got better#so I didn’t sleep enough and went to work#and then received a text that my boyfriend wouldn’t be home tonight cause he’s meeting from friends#and of course I’m not invited because one of his friends is my ex I keep shit taking about (rightfully I might add)#saw him for like one minute after his work before he left again#I’m really fucking sad rn still because as I told some friends#one of my Guinea pigs died just yesterday#and I’m tired and#I’m hungry#and yes my boyfriend offered to bring me food but I don’t even know when he will be back and he’s probably going to bring cake which isn’t#real dinner food anyway#my stuff#give it half an hour and I’ll be better I hope#maybe she least good enough to make myself something to eat#at least my cat his here he always comes when I’m crying#edit: I think the part about tonight that hurts the most is being invited but not being invited#one of the boys sent a message to the group chat if anyone wanted to join#and idk if all of them know#but my bf knows I won’t go anywhere near my ex#even though I haven’t seen one of the other friends there in a awhile and wouldn’t loved to see him#so it’s like#being invited#but not really#cause I can’t go there#I’d feel sick#I already do feel sick knowing he talks to this despicable piece of shit
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I just want to let all my friends know how much I love and appreciate them and how happy I am to have people like them in my life. I truly could not do it without them and every day with them is a gift. I have the best friends on the planet honestly.
#like. you Motherfucker are WILLINGLY volunteering yourselves to help me recover from surgery with less than a months notice????#you let me sleep in your bed when I accidentally fell asleep slumped over on you at 2am last night????#bc you knew and understood how tired I was yesterday and just let it happen so I could rest a little bit???#literally the most kind and caring people I’ve ever met. there’s so many more incredible things my friends do.#those are just a couple examples but I’m literally never leaving this group I love them so much#Will just be purchasing a large swath of land so that we can all bulls houses together so that we can hang out more :)#But also they will tell me how it really is straight up when I’m being an ass. so they keep my dumbass in check#just really overall an incredible group#love them dearly#will go to war over proving my friends are the best 😤#personal#text#friends#I’m also really bad at conveying these feelings to people so I just hope they know how much I love them#my love language is definitely not words of affirmation bc I don’t know how to do that to others#but goddamnit if I won’t stay up for 21 hours to help you hang up your ratatouille kitchen painting
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My parents, joking about my boyfriend being over while they're gone: "haha, you have till (insert time) to get him outta there."
My parents immediately after finding out that he was, in fact, over while they were gone:
#erin rambles#i am tired#physically and mentally#my mom thinks our house is unvisitable#and to be fair it is cluttered#that doesnt mean my partner is going to judge us if he comes over#no one tell them he spent the night though#theyd really have a conniption then#but in all seriousness i think they're having issues coming to terms with the fact that i am indeed 25 and am going out and doing things#with a MAN no less scandalous#and that they can't control me anymore#like last weekend my partner and i fell asleep watching a show or smth and i wound up getting home around 2amish#and i got a lecture from my mom about how disrespectful I'm being to her by not getting home at a reasonable hour#mind you it was a SATURDAY#and i didnt have anywhere to be the next day#idk maybe im just frustrated but its starting to grate on my neeves
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