#lamprey-savage

[addictedtostorytelling]

hi! first of all, i love your stories :) and second, last year i started watching csi from beggining and i just finished season 7 and i wanted to ask if it's in my head or sara appeared less on the episodes? i liked s7 more than the previous ones, the cases were more interesting imo (apart from the first seasons) but like in half of the episodes i got the impression that she barely shows? anyway i'm already bummed that jorja's leaving haha she was always my favorite

hi, @lamprey-savage!

thank you for your kind words! i'm glad you love my stories. <3

as for your question:

though jorja fox was negotiating her contract throughout parts of s7's production, she was still technically under contract as a regular cast member for its full run. accordingly, sara does appear in every episode of s7 and generally has about as much screen time as she has had in previous seasons. while there are some episodes of s7 where she is noticeably sparse (such as episode 07x08 "happenstance," where she only appears in one scene near the end), these "low visibility" episodes generally balance out with episodes where she is a major focus character (such as episode 07x18 "empty eyes").

that said, the sense you're getting that you're not seeing as much of her in s7 as you have in previous seasons may be because she really doesn't have a "front and center" personal storyline for most of the season.

whereas previous seasons—like, say, s4, which contains her depression arc, or s5, which reveals and expounds her backstory—provided her with consistent, dynamic mainline development, in s7, much of what happens with her happens on a "between the lines" level.

jorja fox has talked before about how early s7 was essentially a "romcom" period for sara, so a lot of her scenes then were on the lighter, more comedic side, with her playing off of grissom.

however, as the season went on and grissom eventually left on his sabbatical (coincident to billy petersen taking a break from the show to take part in a rhode island stage production in real life), the focus with her eventually shifted—just not to a more prominent storyline.

as i talk about in this post, "there is a subtle storyline that plays out for gsr over the course of s7, which sees sara wondering if grissom views their relationship in the same way she does and if he feels as deeply for her as she does for him. she is insecure because while grissom most often demonstrates devotion to her, there are occasions when he behaves carelessly regarding her and/or their relationship; sometimes she can’t help but wonder just exactly how he feels, particularly as he seldom verbalizes his feelings to her."

they keyword in the above paragraph is subtle, because the thing is, for the most part, this storyline does not really get a lot of direct attention throughout the season. only a handful of episodes—such as episodes 07x11 "leaving las vegas" and 07x23 "the good, the bad, & the dominatrix"—really broach the subject of sara questioning how grissom feels about her/their relationship and his level of commitment to her directly. the rest of the time, her anxieties are much more subtly implied.

since sara feels she can't really talk about her insecurities with anyone (including grissom himself), exploration of what she's feeling is limited to how she's shown to react to him. there's not a lot of dialogue where she expresses her emotions outright; more just facial expressions and body language.

the storyline is there if you look for it, but you do have to squint a bit to see it, particularly as the miniature killer storyline so dominates the s7 landscape otherwise, and sara plays a central role in that investigation, meaning that nine times out of ten when you see her on screen, the focus will be on what she's doing in relation to the case rather than what may be going on with her personally and/or in her relationship.

so tl;dr? sara isn't actually scarce in s7 in terms of how much screen time she gets; her personal development just isn't really spotlighted in the same ways it might have been in previous seasons. there's never actually a point in s7 where the show comes out and says, "here's what's going on with her!" for the most part, her development is much more subtextual/sublimated.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

and good luck with s8! it's a heartbreaker, especially as a sara fan.

[psalidodont]

Today's catch. Horrors from the murky waters that i call home! Swarmers: Small fish, big jaws. These things are nasty, like, real nasty. They dont care if their prey is alive or rotting, they just go savage over it in mass numbers and leave a perfect clean skeleton after a few minutes. They're found in rivers, swamps, bogs, oceans... Swarmers dont care about acidity or salinity, they only care about eating... though they're not fond of cold water on the slightest. Hated by fishermen for eating their catches and loved by many people for their taste, Swarmers make for a good toothy meal. Fried and served with a hint of lemon! Leeches: Slimy, gross and slippery. Disgusting fish that even dragons dislke, as they'll latch on using their second pair of jaws onto anything that comes across them and try gnawing on their bones. Demand for these fish is rare, but their roe is fantastic. Served raw with a bit of soysauce and flax seeds ontop, ideal side dish for a premiun steak! Lampreys: Do i even have to say something about these? they look ancient, they probably date back before the Cataclylsm. They use a suction cup like mouth to attach themselves to marine dragons, bigger fish and whales. They are abhorrent, but luckily they dont pose a threat unless you're stupid enough to put one on your face. In that case consider half of your face shredded by a bony tongue and millions of little teeth. They can be grilled over a campfire, their taste is similar of cod, a nice oily and flakey meat. Others like to ferment them as they develop a more bitter-sweet taste, they reek like urine tho.

[puppetmaster13u]

It's the last day of Mermay...

So have my most common headcanons on who would be which (or take inspiration from such) for if they were merfolk <3 Yes, this is DCxDP but can be used for either separately if you want.

Bruce- Ray

Alfred- Remora

Kate- Angel Shark

Dick - Guppy

Cass- Cuttlefish

Jason- Thresher Shark

Tim- Bichir

Steph- Spanish Shawl Sea Slug

Duke- Anglerfish

Harper- Cichlid

Cullen- Rasbora

Damian- Stingray

Carrie- Dusky Batfish

Jarro- Starfish

Terry- Devilfish

Matt- Koi

Barbara- Jellyfish

Gordon- Squirrelfish

Ghostmaker- Moray Eel

Harvey- Tiger Shark

Selina- Catfish

Harley- Clownfish

Poison Ivy- Leafy Seadragon

Riddler- Corydoras

Joker- Piranha

Bane- Pufferfish

Mr. Freeze- Leopard Seal

Scarecrow- Anglerfish

Waylon- Saltwater Crocodile

Solomon Grundy- Coelacanth 

Penguin- Longfin Icedevil

Ras Al Ghul- Sturgeon

Talia- Pike

Dusan- Pike 

Deathstroke- Tiger Barb

Clark- Sea Lion

Connor- Fur Seal

Jon- Fur Seal

Kara- Sea Lion

Martha Kent- Ribbon Seal

Jonathan Kent- Manatee

Lex Luthor- Cardinalfish

Barry Allen- Marlin

Wally West- Swordfish

Bart- Marlin

Iris- Trout

Thawne- Wahoo

Captain Cold- Beluga Whale

Heatwave- Guppy

Captain Boomerang- Discus Fish

Mirror Master- Mahi Mahi

Green Arrow- Goby

Arsenal- Arapaima

Artemis- Grouper

Black Canary- Orca

Diana- Lionfish

Cassie- Lionfish

Cheetah- Spotted Snapper

Vandal Savage- Dunkleosteus 

Marvel- Whale Shark 

Billy- Wrasse

Mary- Wrasse

Freddy- Killifish

Eugene- Loach

Pedro- Danio

Darla- Goby

Black Adam- Gar Fish

Dr. Sivana- Dolphin

Mister Mind- Bristle Worm

Martian Manhunter- Octopus

M’gann- Octopus

Aquaman- Hammerhead Shark

Kaldur- Blue Tang

Oceanmaster- Ray

Plasticman- Oarfish

Booster Gold- Goldfish

Blue Beetle- Blue Shrimp

John Stewart- Sailfish

Hal Jordan- Neon Tetra

Red Tornado- Mantis Shrimp

Zatanna- Swordtail

Constantine- Fighting Fish

Doctor Fate- Wrasse

Deadman- Glass Fish

Klarion- Platy

Cyborg- Mola

Raven- Squid

Beast Boy- Triggerfish

Starfire- Koi Fish

Beast Boy- Fluffy Sculpin

Lobo- Wolf Fish

Deadshot- Ruby Barb

Killer Frost- White Koi

King Shark- Great White Shark

Doctor Light- Dolphin

Catman- Tigerfish

Angel Breaker- Redtail Black Shark

Trigon- Giant Squid 

Martha Wayne- Mako Shark

Thomas Wayne- Devil Ray

Lucious Fox- King Mackeral 

Jack Drake- Freshwater Angelfish

Janet Drake- Comet Goldfish

================================================

Danny- Betta Fish (Or Giant Phantom Jelly)

Dan- Lancetfish

Ellie- Betta Fish

Jazz- Oarfish

Sam- Lamprey

Tucker- Devil's Hole Pupfish

Valerie- Cherry Shrimp

Vlad Masters- Vampire Squid

Maddie Fenton- Lion's Mane Jelly

Jack Fenton- Whale

Ida Manson- Gulper Eel

Mr. Lancer- Hatchetfish

Spike- Gourami

Wes Weston- Carp

Kyle Weston- Perch

Paulina- Dragonfish

Star- Cichlid

Dash Baxter- Short Beaked Dolphin

Kwan- Goldfish

Box Ghost- Boxfish

Lunch Lady- Killifish

Skulker- Sea Turtle

Ghostwriter- Lyretail

Sidney Poindexter- Shubunkin

Jonny 13- Corydora

Kitty- Loach

Ember- Basslet

Desiree- Seahorse

Spectra- Eel

Walker- Frogfish

Nocturn- Lanternfish

Overgrowth- Sea Pig

Fright Knight- Swordtail

Pariah Dark- Skate

Princess Dora- Dragon Goby

Pandora- Leaf Scorpionfish

Frostbite- Crabeater Seal

Clockwork- Colossal Squid (or Congor Eel)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you want pics of any of the fish/creatures I am happy to put them out, I just can't put that many links on one post lol. (Also apologies if I missed anyone)

[hag-o-hags]

Fish Names (names for fish)

Hamburger

Fred Savage Jr.

Patroclus

Sarah B.

Freakshow

Pepper

Lefty

Sarah G.

Sara M.

Brasso

"Lamprey" Livingston

Max (Short for Maximalist)

Listeria the Wise

Black Tip Beat

Barely Black Tip Beat

No-As-Black-Tipped-As-Black-Tip-Beat-But-Bigger-Black-Tips-Than-Barely-Black-Tip-Beat Beat

Crumpcake

[lumi-klovstad-games]

My longest running Darktide character has a backstory at last

Born on the storm-wracked oceanic world of Incron, Immacena Furonus was no stranger to hardship. From a young age, she honed her skills as a militia lackey for the Planetary Defense Force, learning to survive in the face of relentless rain, howling winds, and treacherous sea creatures. By the time she reached her teens, the call to serve the Emperor burned bright within her, and she enlisted in the Imperial Guard.

Immacena quickly distinguished herself in battle after having saved saved a Castellan of the Incron Guard, who told her that she'd "done him a damned good turn, and now it was his mind to repay her by doing her a damned bad one" by giving her what she'd wished for, and she was transferred to the prestigious Moebian 17th Rifles, nicknamed "The Chosen Men" as a Corporal. Under the stern gaze of Sergeant Diana Vostig, she honed her skills with rifle and knife, earning a reputation as the regiment's best marksman. Her frightening and adept ferocity in hand-to-hand combat with little more than a common combat knife earned her both respect and fear, leading many to dub her "The Incron Fury".

One fateful day, during the brutal assault on Fortress Idarr, Immacena found herself pinned down by enemy fire. Her world turned red as she watched her beloved sergeant charge into the storm of lasfire to save her. Sergeant Vostig made it far enough to cover Immacena's retreat to safety before being fatally wounded by several lasgun shots perforating her abdomen and torso. Diana's sacrifice forever etched a scar upon Immacena's soul, and the Incron Fury swore an oath that day: she would honor Diana's sacrifice by fighting on, by becoming the warrior her fallen sergeant believed she could be. And so she did. Her prowess in battle grew legendary within her unit, her skill with the lasrifle unmatched with peerless marksmanship, able to pick off enemies from seemingly impossible distances with pin prick precision, while she honed her trademark vicious and savage knife-fighting to an almost supernatural degree, often fighting off a dozen or more enemies with the humblest of blades and emerging covered in blood. Her fearsome reputation grew even further, for Immacena was not just a skilled warrior, she was like a force of nature. Unflinching in the face of death, she devoted herself to every single battle with a wild and bloodthirsty ferocity that left even the most hardened veterans from other regiments awestruck. Her battlefield prowess, along with her ability to hold failing fire lines together with a respect that can only be earned and hardened in the trenches, earned her several promotions, including an officer's commission, and she eventually ended up Captain of the Moebian 17th's 3rd Recon Company, "Lamprey Company", consisting of 78 soldiers.

Yet, along with her skill and rapid ascension came a reputation for being a bit of a loose cannon. Immacena tended to speak her mind freely, with her wit sharp and often laced with a touch of morbid humor, though none who served with her ever doubted for a moment her sincere loyalty to her Emperor and Regiment. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for those who did not serve with her.

One day, while complaining about her subpar rations, Immacena made a typically flippant comment that would have dire consequences. During a brief respite, Immacena found herself sharing a ration of corpse starch with officers from another regiment. "This stuff tastes like someone I used to know," she'd quipped with her typical sardonic grin, unaware that the Commissar from the other regiment was within earshot. Such blatant disloyalty and disrespect for the Emperor's bounty could not be tolerated, and despite the protests of her comrades, Immacena was arrested and placed aboard the prison ship "The Tancred Bastion". Bound for the world of Atoma Prime, she faced a future of hard labor and an uncertain fate. As the Tancred Bastion cut through the void, Immacena somehow knew her tale was far from over. Even in the face of imprisonment and exile, the spirit of "The Incron Fury" burned bright, ready to face whatever darkness that awaited her on Atoma Prime... darkness that would be beyond anyone's ability to predict.

[slavicafire]

ah, my friend, there was no way we could have guessed! the realities of everyday medieval life elude us once again:

Clues in this riddle fragment suggest that the creature is a migratory fish with a strange, cunning power used to kill other creatures below the waves. This might be the lamprey, a common Anglo-Saxon catch, which migrates from the sea to fresh water to spawn and returns to the sea again - and which kills its underwater prey by leeching onto it with a funnel-shaped mouth while rasping off the victim's flesh with its lingual teeth. Hauled from the deep, it must have seemed a savage catch.

For riidle thing: perhaps 75?

so happy to see you join my friend! there you go:

Often on floodways, found with kin

I took for my food

and also him. Never sat at home

Killed in the sea with strange skill And savage power, covered by waves.

different rhythm, this one!

[vic-hughes]

lamprey-savage

replied to your post “.”

he wants to marry her so they can date and work without any trouble this is basically the plot from the proposal lol but it's like you said, i'm sure it won't work out, vic's gonna freak and they'll probably be discovered before they can even discuss this properly. but maybe this could turn out good in the end, after all the angst, like last week's because one thing that kinda bothers me is that we don't see them talking about personal things too much...

Great point! I’m all for angst as long as it makes willing to fight for their relationship together like last week! 

I was definitely concerned about their lack of communication after episode 9 (they’ve been together for 6 months and Vic doesn’t know he has a sister and Ripley doesn’t know that her best friend is Travis). However, I think it’s definitely better now that their relationship has gotten more serious! I would love to see them having more personal conversations too (and they have been blessing us with so much domestic content)

[dailyadventureprompts]

Adventure: The Curse of Captain Bledheart 

“ You are marked, Pirate” spat the priest, clutching his symbol to the wound, even as his heart’s blood welled up to stain his cassock. “ May the waves be stained by your passage, so that every beast and brigand on the seas may know your cruelty no matter how far you try to flee from it. May you drown in the blood you have cast your life to shedding.” 

-Tales of Captain Bledheart, volume 3: The Gutting of port Garth 

Setup: No recounting of infamous pirates is complete without Captain Ruford “Bledheart” Braddock, the so called “Vampire of the Lapis Sea”.  While not in fact undead, the Captain’s love of grisly cruelties was legendary, attacking targets without the promise of plunder and leaving behind mutilated victims to spread his dread even further. 

The greatest of these savageries culminated in the sack of a temple full of townsfolk that had taken shelter from one of his raids. Bledheart cut down everyone inside, but not before suffering a terrible curse at the hands of one of his victims:  whenever he set out to sea, the hull of  vessel would begin to bleed, befouling the waters and causing all manner of misfortune to befall his crew.  Sickness plagued the ship as the bilge and lower decks filled with blood, which  also trailed out, attracting all manner of predatory beast which harried the already weakened pirates. Finally, the blood itself refused to disipate on the water, creating a miles long trail that could be followed by rival ships or navies looking for revenge. 

It was a flotilla of these vengeful vessels that finally did Bledheart in, tracking him back to the cove he was sheltering in and overwhelming his fatigued crew with righteous ferocity.  Since then, the Captain and his curse has lived on only in stories, a literal and thematic stain on the legacy of those who’d seek glory and adventure under the black flag. 

Adventure Hooks: 

While traveling along with a trading vessel (either as passengers or crew), the party awakes one morning to find that their wake has turned red, staining the sea behind them and already attracting hungry sharks. The curse of Captain Bledheart has struck them without explanation, and they must find the cause before something worse than sharks finds them.  In truth, one of the packages carried by the ship contains the splintered remnants of Bledheart’s flagship: the Dirge, salvaged from the ocean bottom and smuggled aboard to be sold to a collector in the next port.  If the players fail to identify the source of the curse by sundown, the ship will be attacked by a sea monster, forcing them to beach themselves on a nearby island to repair  and give them time enough to sift through the red-stained hold. 

Since his infamous defeat, the heart-and-droplet crest used by the sanguine captain has been used as a brand of shame by the brethren court of pirates. Those who commit heinous deeds against their fellows, or deemed to savage, too bloodthirsty to trust on a crew are branded with such a mark, showing their untrustworthyness to any employer. One such marked is Cossetta Corvo, an aspiring seaborn sadist who’s hit upon the idea of recruiting the outcasts into a crew full of killers and reclaiming Bledheart’s legacy for herself.

The Cove where Braddock and his crew met their end is today known as “Lamprey Bay”, both for the numerous bloodsucking creatures that live there, and for the fact that at low tide, the waters still turn red with the remnants of the old captain’s curse. Rumors of Bledheart’s great treasure persist, and though the area was picked mostly clean by fortune seekers long ago, there’s still a chance the party could find something by discovering some hidden seacave, or diving down to the wreck of the Dirge, far below the hungry waters.  

Future Adventures: 

Cossetta is already taking steps to cast herself as the new Vampire of the Lapis Sea, beginning with butchering enemies in the same way as her predecessor did, and working up to attacks on innocent settlements for blood and plunder. Such activities will likely cast her as a key villain in the party’s naval adventures, whether as a rival captain among pirates, or a vicious marauder in need of capture. 

One of Cossetta’s plays for fame involves a raid on the inland noble estate where Captain Bledheart’s stolen banner hangs, a trophy of the naval captain that took him down so many years ago. With this flag in her possession, the most villainous pirates and outlaws would flock to her cause, an omen that she may one day overthrow the brethren court that exiled her and her bloody forbearer. 

While Bledheart may have not been an actual vampire, that won’t stop the aspiring Corvo from doubling down on the myth.  Her dealings with the maritime underworld have brought her word of a coffin containing a vampire’s corpse, which she plans to use as a component in a necromantic ceremony to grant herself undeath. While her crew hunts this casket as others might a treasure chest, Cossetta studies the dark arts, never once imagining what might happen should she accidently awaken this vampiric ancient and unleash it on the world. 

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Brain Mole

CR 1

Neutral Tiny Magical Beast

Pathfinder Bestiary 5, pg. 46

These nasty little beasts are what happens when colonies of naked mole rats are exposed to ma-- oh they’re actually a creation of a mad mage--oh wait no are they creatures from beyond the stars who--No? Really? They’re just part of the natural world? They evolved naturally like that?

Huh. Golarion wildlife is weird, and it takes a lot to make me say that.

Living underground in colonial nests of up to a half-dozen individuals like the naked mole rats they resemble, Brain Moles feed on magic and intelligence itself, erupting from the earth in groups to eat their fill from any creature that crosses their path. While capable of feeding on the mental energy of any living creature, Brain Moles are nourished by magical energy above all other forms, feeding with equal voracity on Arcane, Divine, Psychic, or Primal magic. Their Second Sight grants them 60ft of Blindsight against any creature capable of casting spells, and will prioritize such creatures above all others.

With only 2 Intelligence, below the threshold of sapience, Brain Moles work via instinct alone. Their usual tactic is to rush up to an enemy--enchanting themselves with Expeditious Retreat as needed--and leap at them with their toothy maws facing outwards. Due to their size, their bite is incapable of dealing lethal damage unless the target is already basically unconcious, victims of this savaging taking 1d3-3 damage. The danger is in their automatic attach, sticking fast to foes vastly larger than themselves and sucking out their brain juice with Brain Drain.

Brain Drain is notable for being completely irresistible; there’s no saving throw you can make to prevent it, unless you count the Mole’s initial bite. With +10 to its grapple checks, they have a fairly good chance to maintain their hold, subjecting their victim to their hungers. A creature unable to detach the creature before its next turn takes automatic bite damage, spellcasters immediately losing one of their spell slots, while non-casters take 1 point of damage to each of their mental ability scores. Each time they successfully Brain Drain a victim, they gain 1 point of psychic energy back if they’ve lost any and become increasingly nourished.

Side note: While the book states they’re not the dine-and-dash type and will in fact continue to feed until their victim falls unconscious, I personally think that’s rather silly and would state they become full after only 4 levels-worth of spells or 4 points of ability score damage, to put them in line with their fellow stat-damage scourges of low-level parties, the Stirge. Feeding beyond this threshold can have... interesting consequences.

Anyway, back on topic: they have 12 points of psychic energy at base that they can use to fuel their psionic abilities, each of their psychic spells taking only 1 point of energy from this pool. As mentioned before, they can use Expeditious Retreat to vastly accelerate their movement to either get into our out of a bad situation, but they also interestingly have Silent Image available to them... And Mind Thrust I, which does 2d8 mental damage to any target (half on a successful Will save) within 35ft of the hungry Mole. A cluster of Brain Moles can cause some serious damage just by using Mind Thrust I over and over, and any prey that proves to be too much for them may simply be psionically battered into submission and then fed upon while they’re unconscious, all but spelling their deaths in Golarion’s wilderness.

I personally think it’s interesting that Brain Moles have Silent Image as one of their psionic spells, despite lacking the sapience needed to use the spell creatively. It’s possible they may simply use it to form false walls in their subterranean nests, or form sudden visages of fearsome predators to ward off creatures coming to feed upon the tiny rodents. More likely, however, is that Silent Image is there to be used by the mole’s master. Yes, any caster that has reached 5th level and whose alignment is within one step of Neutral can take one of these parasites as a Familiar! And lets be honest, who wouldn’t want to wake up to that nightmare lamprey face every morning?

You can read more about them here.

[miscellaneouscelebheights]

Tori Belleci

Mythbuster cast

Adam Savage

Kari Byron

Alton Brown

Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Daniels

Blake Shelton

Colin Donnell

Curtis Armstrong

Dr Oz

George A. Romero

Gordon Ramsey

Guy Fieri

JB Smoove

John Landis

Johnny Knoxville

Jon Favreau

Michael Rooker

Nate Diaz

Nathan Fillion

Richard Hammond

Shameik Moore & Jake Johnson

Tom Hanks

Tony Hawk & Xzibit

Xzibit

Bisi Ezerioha (Listed 5'11.5")?

Buddy Valastro (Listed 5'7")

Butterbean (5'9-9.5" max)

Deadmau5 (Listed 5'9")

Lynnette Joy Housky (Listed 5'6")

Mark Steines (Listed 6ft)

Sig Hansen (Listed 5'8")

Tonicate10 (claims "barely 5ft")

Zane Lamprey (Listed 6ft)

[jessaminelovelace]

it was like coming home.

[chozo-chosen]

Has she ever been attacked by a metroid, and it actually latched onto her?

Actually, a number of times, yes. Assuming you’re referring to larval state metroids, anyway. Discounting the canon attacks by the Super Metroid, Zebes, Tallon IV, the upper caverns of SR388, and Aether. Larval metroids are absolutely savage, and only have a single form of attack. They’re astonishingly fast when they want to be, and given how their bodies are immune to most conventional weaponry, it’s difficult to avoid being grabbed once or twice.

It’s an experience that, no matter how many times you live through it, ever stops being terrifying. It’s less horrifying for Samus, to be sure since she has the Power Suit to protect her, but since metroids typically tend to go for the head, she’s treated to the nightmare fuel sight of their lamprey-like mouths against her visor, dominating her vision. Coupled with the alarms in her suit going off, watching the energy level drop sharply... Samus doesn’t fear much, but even she considers this a nightmare.

She’s also been the victim of every other known evolution of metroids, but only the larval and it’s direct permutations, (and Hunters) drain energy in that fashion. Once a Metroid evolves along the ‘natural’ (read: SR388) life cycle, they tend to eat in different ways, so the latching on is less of an issue. Then it’s much more tooth, claw, and energy discharge, until you get to a queen, at which point being eaten whole becomes both a concern and a requirement to deal with them.

[theboredpoet]

"|\|\ ______"

You remember that ad for

DON'T WAKE DADDY

isn't it funny, toyify

national anxiety

His glassy eyes are something savage

are they real or are they plastic?

That's the national tick,

tock, heirloom mock executions

disastrous family final solutions

Dadification among lower generations

has led to an eternal lamprey soul

at the heart of men

Don't wake them, don't wake them

or then

Well you wouldn't like to see them angry

Keeping up appearances all in the family

and we no longer know how to proces

sadness

[thecreaturecodex]

Reef Masher

“The Sea Wyvern’s Wake Frontispiece” by Ben Wootten, © Paizo Publishing.

[Here’s the first of many, many conversions of obscure 1e monsters. I’ve been mentally referring to this as “the not in the Tome of Horrors” collection, as I’m avoiding revisiting their monsters. I’ll probably do my takes on some of those eventually, but not for the moment.

Many of these critters are obscure because they don’t have illustrations in the original book in which they appeared. I’ve certainly forgotten the masher existed a couple of times. But it did appear in the 2e Monstrous Compendium series, the 3e Savage Tide AP, and @filbypott‘s Creature Chronicle here] I didn’t read Filby’s version until my flavor text was in the bag, and I find it amusing that we both made it a giant lamprey. Unless I had read his version years ago, and this is subconscious plagiarism.]

Reef Masher CR 6 N Animal This worm-like fish has a gaping, circular maw and a crest of long quills growing from its back.

Reef mashers, also called mashers or coral mashers, are enormous jawless fish related to lampreys. Their mouths are a ring of grinding teeth, which they use to pulverize corals, sponges, mollusks and other hard-shelled bottom-dwellers. Reef mashers require plenty of food, and few coral reefs can support more than a single masher. Thus, they are territorial and aggressive towards potential competitors. Most reef mashers will ignore a man-sized creature unless it attacks them, but they have been known to mistake boats for rivals, then smash them to bits. The only time reef mashers can tolerate each other is when seasonal and hormonal conditions are right for mating—the mashers swim out to deep water and spawn in enormous conglomerations.

Reef masher venom is a product of their diet—they pick up defensive compounds from corals and sponges and concentrate them into a potent toxin. Those stuck with a reef masher’s spines suffer horrible rotting wounds, and few natural predators will tangle with a reef masher more than once. Sahuagin value this toxin for making poisoned weapons, and hunt reef mashers for their spines to craft into spears and crossbow bolts. The flesh of the reef masher is favored by certain daring chefs for its delicate flavor, firm texture and dangerous reputation. Only a talented butcher can safely clean reef masher filets to render them harmless on a successful DC 20 Survival or Profession (chef) check. On a failed check, the meat retains the reef masher’s poison, although creatures that eat it have an onset time of 10 minutes before the effects begin.

Reef Mashers as Animal Companions Starting Statistics: Size Medium; Speed 20 ft., swim 40 ft..; AC +2 natural armor; Attack bite (2d4); Ability Scores Str 9, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 2; Special Qualities low-light vision, quills (1d4 piercing, Dex-based DC) 7th-Level Advancement: Size Large; AC +3 natural armor; Attack bite (3d4); Ability Scores Str +8, Dex -2, Con +4; Special Qualities poison (Con-based DC), quills (1d6 piercing, Dex-based DC)

Reef Masher       CR 6 XP 2,400 N Huge animal (aquatic) Init +2; Senses low-light vision, Perception +11 Defense AC 18, touch 10, flat-footed 16 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +8 natural) hp 76 (8d8+40) Fort +11, Ref +8, Will +4 Defensive Abilities quills Offense Speed 20 ft., swim 40 ft. Melee bite +12 (4d4+10) Space 15 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Special Attacks poison Statistics Str 25, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 2 Base Atk +6; CMB +15; CMD 28 Feats Combat Reflexes, Iron Will, Skill Focus (Perception), Weapon Focus (bite) Skills Perception +11, Swim +20 Ecology Environment warm and temperate oceans Organization solitary or scrum (2-20) Treasure none Special Attacks Poison (Ex) Quill—injury; save Fort DC 18; duration 1/round for 4 rounds; effect 1d3 Con damage; cure 2 saves. The save DC is Constitution based. Quills (Ex) Whenever a creature strikes a reef masher with a natural weapon, unarmed strike, touch attack or melee weapon, it must succeed a DC 16 Reflex save or take 1d8+3 points of piercing damage and is exposed to the reef masher’s poison. A weapon with the reach property does not endanger its wielder in this way. The save DC is Dexterity based.

[flyingthehedge]

Bone Magic Series: Bones and Skulls: How to Use Them in Magic

So I decided to break this post up into 3 different ones because it was so damn long. I wanted to make it as comprehensive as possible, including what the animal remain is from a scientific point of view and what the remain has been historically used for by magical practitioners around the world. In this post I am going to simply cover the use of skulls and bones in witchcraft. The next two posts will cover furs and pelts, followed by feathers, fangs, and claws (along with shells and blood). It is important to note that animal remains do not preserve well overall. That means for ancient cultures, much of what we have is either interpreted from historical texts or noted in myths and legends passed down between generations. Our knowledge is rather limited, but still available. Much of what we know about animal remain use comes from indigenous cultures, especially those of North America and Africa, so please keep this in mind.

Skulls and Bones

This is the one witches tend to be the most interested in, and for a good reason. Skulls in particular not only look really cool, but they are the protectors of the consciousness, making them excellent tools for spirit work and divination. Scientifically speaking the skull is the boney structure that forms the head in vertebrate organisms. It not only protects the brain but also provides attachment sites for the facial muscles and cartilage. Other bones provide protection and attachment sites for muscle and tendons, allowing movement and stature. For example, the ribs aid in protecting the lungs and heart, while the femur is specifically used in movement. In general, skulls and bones tend to preserve pretty well, especially in comparison to soft tissue, making them an easy magical tool for a witch that wishes to use them in their magical practice.

In witchcraft, skulls and bones have been used in a variety of ways. I mentioned some of these uses in my previous post on A History of Animal Remains in Witchcraft, but felt the need to expand on this topic. Historically, bones have been used in folk-medicine, divination, and spirit work. This includes using everything from the astragalus of a hare to whale ear bones. You name it, there is likely use for it. One of the most famous uses of a bone is the wish-bone from a turkey or other domestic fowl. Either side of the bone is held by a person and pulled until it breaks. The individual with the largest piece will have their wish granted. Other times, the wish-bone is hung above a door to bring love, likely due to its shape (source).

The earliest use of bones was likely as amulets and fetishes. Archeological finds have uncovered thigh-bones of mammoths that were carried by nomadic cave dwellers from Belgium. The smaller bones, such as the carpus and tarsus, were perforated and worn as charms as seen in the Museum of Natural History in Brussels and Sommerville's collection at the University of Pennsylvania (source). Other early uses include bone-fires, known today as bonfires, where the bones of animals were ritually burned to appease a deity (source).

Other early uses of bones include for divination, as mentioned previously in A History of Animal Remains in Witchcraft. The blade-bone of different animals, including sheep, deer, bear, and ox were used for divination since antiquity, and are still used by certain groups worldwide today. The blade bone was placed into a fire until it cracked in various directions. Once the bone cooled, the splits and cracks were carefully analyzed. One method of reading suggests a long split lengthwise signified the "way of life," while good and bad fortune were read from the lateral cracks (source). In Scotland, the scapula was stripped of flesh and inspected for any semi-transparent parts of the bone. Dark spots were believed to symbolize misfortune, while black spots foretold death. The Irish used a similar practice, except darker spots indicated that someone will be burned out of the house (source). In Japan, scapulimancy dated back to the protohistoric period with the favored bone being from a stag, which is outlined in Kojiki written in A.D. 712. The scorched bones were used to divine luck (source). These Japanese practices were very similar to those found in China, where oracle bones were used. To read about other cultures that also used scapulimancy please refer to my last post A History of Animal Remains in Witchcraft. While not complete, it discusses scapulimancy as well. I do not wish to repeat myself all over again, instead wishing to present you with new information. I also strongly encourage you to read Naskapi: The Savage Hunters of the Labrador Peninsula to learn more about bone use in North American indigenous cultures. This is by no means the only source, but it is pretty comprehensive and free.

Apart of divination, bones have also historically been used for protection. Across Europe, horse skulls have been found buried under churches, home hearths, in walls, chimneys, and even under threshing barn floors. Historians believe some of these skulls were placed for acoustic purposes, but many believe this explanation evolved later in history to explain away the skulls as many of the skulls found across Europe have no acoustical function. Much of the folklore associated with horses is concerned with luck (think horseshoe), and it is possible our ancestors placed the skulls in the home to bring luck as well as for protection (source). Cats were also commonly placed in the walls of buildings in across Europe, especially in England, Wales, and southern Scotland. It is believed the dried cats were placed in walls for two reasons: to protect the home from vermin and as a sacrifice to the home as the protector from pestilence (source). More commonly, however, animal bones were used in fetishes, an object believed to have magical properties or to be inhabited by a spirit. I could devote an entire post to fetishes alone, and likely will in the future, but for the sake of this article, be aware that fetishes include a variety objects, including the famed rabbit's foot. There is a great article on the rabbit's foot as a fetish you can read here.

Bones have also commonly been used in folk medicine. The astragalus of a hare could be carried in the pocket as a charm against rheumatism while in powdered form it was drunk with water for its diuretic properties. Stag heart bone, a white irregular bone that is sometimes found in the heart of a stag or ox, was used to remedy heart troubles and prevent abortion. Dried pike jaw-bones were dried and powdered to cure leucorrhoea (not sure why they would be trying to cure this, but whatever) as well as to facilitate easy childbirth. Lamprey and lizard spines were given to children to strengthen their bones while powdered human bones mixed with red wine were believed to cure dysentery. You can read more about these uses in The Hand of Destiny.

Today, skulls and bones are used for a variety of purposes. Skulls and bones can be used as a holding vessel during spirit work, whether by the spirit of the animal who originally inhabited the body, by other animals of the same species, or by other spirits entirely. Summoning or invoking a spirit to the vessel can aid you in your communion or spellwork by allowing you to draw from their qualities, especially those of animals. In ancestor work, the animal spirits inhabiting the bones can act as mediators, messengers, and even guardians or protectors during ancestral work or spellwork. As mentioned above, skulls can be used for divination by gazing into the eye sockets or even into the base of the skull. Being the seat of consciousness, any images or messages received are thought to be from the spirit inhabiting the skull. You may want to check your results with other divinatory methods to confirm the results. Furthermore, bones can be used as ritual adornments, ritual tools, in sachets or witch balls, as altar decorations, bone tarot, and other forms of spellwork that require the characteristics of the animal whose bones you are using. I tend to keep deer antlers around when hedge riding because deer are believed to be able to cross easily between realms. Recently, I invoked the spirit of the coyote by using a coyote skull during my deep house cleansing ritual.

In the end, there is a myriad of uses for bones in your craft, from spells to rituals to spirit communication. Have you used bones recently in your practice? I'd love to hear how you use animal bones to enhance your craft!

Interest in the rest of the series? Here's what's to come!

Bone Magic Series

Introduction

A Brief History of Animal Remains in Magic

Bones and Skulls: How to Use Them in Magic

Furs and Pelts: How to Use Them In Magic

Feathers, Fangs, and Claws: How to Use Them in Magic

How to Ethically Acquire Animal Remains

Cleaning and Preserving Animal Remains

Working With the Spirits of Animal Remains: Crossing Over & Contracting

Feeding Your Bones

Throwing the Bones + Build Your Own Bone Tarot

[krinsbez]

GI Joe: Remixed, Vipers

OK, so..let's talk Vipers.

To begin with, here's Wikipedia's list of Cobra Trooper variations, for reference:

Air Devil - Acrobatic Aerial Assault Trooper

B.A.T.s - Cobra Battle Android Troopers

Cobra Blackstar - Cobra Elite Space Pilot

Cobra C.L.A.W.S. - Combat Light Armored Weapons Specialist; Heavy Weapons Trooper

Cobra Coils - High Speed Pursuit Vehicle Drivers; Cobra Tread Fire Driver

Cobra Eels - Cobra Frogman

Cobra H.I.S.S. Driver - Cobra H.I.S.S. Driver

Cobra Moray - Underwater Elite Trooper

Cobra Officer - Cobra Squad Leader

Cobra Stinger Driver - Cobra Stinger Driver

Cobra Soldier - Cobra Basic Infantry

Desert Scorpion - Cobra Desert Trooper

Incinerators - Cobra Flamethrowers

Lampreys - Cobra Moray Hydrofoil Pilot

Night Creepers - Cobra Mercenary Ninjas

Night Vulture - Cobra Air Recon Trooper

Sea Slugs - Cobra Sea Ray Pilot

Snow Serpent - Cobra Polar Assault

W.O.R.M.S. - Weapons Ordnance Rugged Machine Specialists; Cobra Maggot Driver

List of Viper variations

Aero-Viper - Condor Z25 pilot

Air-Viper - Cobra Air Force trainee

Alley Viper - Cobra urban assault trooper

Astro-Viper - Cobranaut

A.V.A.C. - Air-Viper, Advanced Class; Firebat pilot

Bio-Viper - amphibious Mega-Monster

Cyber-Viper - cybernetic officer

Desert-Viper - Cobra desert trooper

Elite-Viper - elite regiment officer

Fast Blast Viper - field combat

Flak-Viper - Cobra anti-aircraft trooper

Frag-Viper - Cobra grenade thrower

Gyro-Viper - Mamba pilot

Hazard-Viper - toxin specialist

H.E.A.T. Viper - High-Explosive, Anti-Tank; Cobra bazooka trooper

Heli-Viper - Cobra Battle Copter trooper

Hydro-Vipera - Cobra underwater elite trooper. Also known as the "demons of the deep"

Ice-Vipera - Cobra WOLF driver

Jungle-Viper - jungle assault trooper

Kitchen Viper - mentioned in the comics only; never actually seen

Laser-Viper - Cobra laser trooper

Medi-Viper - medical trooper [7]

Mega-Viper - Mega-Monster trainer

Monstro-Viper - savage Mega-Monster

Motor-Viper - Cobra Stun pilot

Nano-Viper - Cobra commando

Neo-Viper - officer/infantryman

Night-Viper - Cobra night fighter

Ninja-Viper - martial arts

Nitro-Viper - Detonator driver

Para-Viper - Cobra paratrooper

Pit-Viper - infiltration trooper

Range-Viper - Cobra wilderness trooper

Raptor-Viper [8] -

Red Ninja-Viper - ninja warrior

Rock-Viper - Cobra mountain trooper

Sand-Viper - desert infiltrator

S.A.W. Viper - Semi-Automatic Weapons; Cobra heavy machine gunner

Secto-Viper - Cobra Bugg driver

Shadow-Viper - counter intelligence

Shock-Viper - fire assault trooper

Sludge-Viper - Cobra hazardous waste Viper

Star-Viper - Cobra Stellar Stiletto pilot

Strato-Viper - Cobra Night Raven S³P pilot [9]

Street-Viper - urban combat trooper

Sub-Viper - underwater demolitions

Swamp-Viper - amphibious assault trooper

Techno-Viper - Cobra battlefield technician

Tele-Viper - Cobra communications

Terra-Viper - Cobra Mole Pod pilot

Toxo-Viper - Cobra hostile environment trooper

Track-Viper - H.I.S.S. II driver

Viper - Cobra infantry

Viper Guard - Cobra infantry

Viper Pilot - attack glider pilot

Now, it's important to note, contrary to their depiction in most media, in our take, Vipers are actually quite competent, being on par with the standard troops of most First World militaries. OTOH, Blueshirts get just enough combat training that they aren't completely useless on the battlefield; Blueshirts can, say, round-up civilians for slave labor, deal with anti-Cobra militias or vigilantes, or serve as security guards or the equivalent of uniformed police in Cobra-controlled areas, but are not expected to fight real soldiers. Rather, Blueshirts do all the other tasks a military needs to operate, although some specialized work is done by Vipers. Cobra recruits are first trained as Blueshirts, and can then apply for Viper training, but military vets are fast-tracked to the point that they can sometimes go straight to Viper training; said training program was designed by Big Boa and Major Bludd, the latter of whom is considered the father of the Viper program, and is idolized by most Vipers. Big Boa is less beloved mostly because he's actively involved in their training and he has no qualms about injuring, maiming, or even killing his trainees.

Anyways, in general, a Viper outranks a Blueshirt, but a Blueshirt Officer outranks a Viper, and is in turn outranked by a Viper Officer; this isn't really a hard and fast rule though, as Cobra's command structure is deliberately fluid. Somewhat similarly, Specialist-Vipers don't technically outrank regular Vipers, but their skills are more valuable to Cobra, so...Each cadre of Specialist-Vipers has it's own leader (or sometimes leader) who get their own name, but generally still wear their cadre's uniform, and are therefore subordinate to those who have names and custom uniforms. Generally. Sometimes several cadres will also answer to another, higher named/uniformed officer specifically (EG all the pilots report to Wild Weasel; Toxo-, Hazard-, and Sludge-Vipers are under Cesspool; Tele-, Techno-, and Medi-Vipers report to Dr. Mindbender, all naval personnel report to She-Wolf, a pseudo-OC who will be discussed later) Beyond this, there's no strict rank structure involved; if you can get people to follow your orders, you're in charge, and if you kill a superior you're just as apt to be given his job as punished. (note that @Night_stalker has created many Specialist-Viper Leaders for us, though some already existed, but I’m not sure how to post ‘em here)

Many Specialist-Vipers not only receive specialized training, but also are given drugs or some form of surgical modification (such as those given to Strato-Vipers to enhance their reflexes and resistance to G-forces) or enhancements (such as the Hydro-Vipers' implanted gills) or both to make them better at their jobs; these often have long-term negative side effects (which is why, despite grumbling from the Jugglers, Gens. Austin and Hawk refuse to reverse-engineer for American use some of Mindbender's Feel-No-Pain Juice or Not-Get-Tired Pills or whatever), but Cobra doesn't care. They also get a hefty dose of extra indoctrination, which of course, includes brainwashing.

Given Cobra Commander's divide-and-conquer approach to management, and the general backstab-happy nature of Cobra, it should not be surprising that inter-service rivalry between Specialist-Viper cadres is encouraged. In addition, many cadres have developed their own unique subcultures, a sampling of which follows:

-You will note that several of the above categories appear redundant. Sometimes they are (EG Sand-Vipers and Desert Scorpions), because see above vis a vis CC's management style, other times not For example, Hazard-Vipers are trained professionals in dealing with hazardous materials, Toxo-Vipers are grunts who handle the manual labor portion of dealing with hazmat stuff under the direction of the Hazard-Vipers (thus decreasing the odds of something untoward happening to a valuable specialist). Being a Toxo-Viper is (usually) a temporary assignment which regular troops will be given as a punishment detail, while Sludge-Vipers are an elite cadre of Hazard-Vipers who work directly under Cesspool, and deal with the creation and use of Plasmatox. Additionally, Incinerators are specifically flamethrower guys while the Shock-Vipers deal with incendiary ordinance in general. There are also examples where it's a bit of both, for instance while Alley-Vipers are heavy shocktroopers trained/equipped specifically for urban combat, the Street-Vipers are a sub-division of the Elite-Vipers for same.

-At some point, the Medi-Vipers became a cult devoted to Asclepius, the Ancient Greek God of medicine and notable snake enthusiast, though obviously they diverge quite heavily from the historical Cult of Asclepius. They are quite feared by other Cobras, because (thanks to  @Night_stalker) “on the field, while they'll patch you up, it's more like a ‘Stop bleeding to death and get back to work! FOR COBRA!’, instead of the nice calming normal medic you get, and off the field, they're the guys who implant mods, and pick Dr. Mindbender's experimental subjects.” Note that they are not fond of Dr. Mindbender, because they're the ones who have to clean up the mess when his experiments go awry.

-It is commonly believed by other Vipers that the Range-Vipers are cannibals. This is somewhat unfair; while yes, they're less squeamish about the idea of eating human flesh than normal people, it's still something they'd only do as a last resort.

-Hydro-Vipers are not actually fish-people, and they get really pissed off when you call them that.

-The Pilot-Vipers have picked up Wild Weasel's belief that pilots are a superior breed, and this attitude is only heightened in the Aero-, Heli-, Strato-, and Star-Vipers, who all consider themselves superior to the other Pilot-Vipers; they still basically worship the ground Wild Weasel walks on, though.

-The Tele-Vipers basically live on meth, adderall, and caffeinated energy drinks.

-Every Viper Pilot wants to be an AVAC. The AVACs think their erstwhile comrades are saps, because it actually sucks.

-Since most Hydro-Vipers used to be Morays, and the Morays used to be Eels, they get along pretty well. Ditto the Sub-Vipers. They have nothing but contempt for the Sea Slugs, Lampreys, and other aquatic vehicle pilots.

-Snow Serpents consider Ice-Vipers traitors for cross-training with the Eels.

-Techno- and Tele-Vipers have a notably bitter feud, but also have a sort of "y'all are pitiful scrubs inferior to the Glorious Software/Hardware (remove whichever inappropriate) Master Race, but at least you're better than the rest of these knuckle-dragging ignorami" thing going on towards the other Vipers