#kudos to maddie for this joke
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max's very first karting interview...
charles really pulled up and said “you haven’t lost yet? enjoy it while it lasts” like no wonder max is so obsessed with him
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mutual pining buddie fics
all of these are general audience, teen and up or not rated (no smut) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)
i could find you darling, in any life by: justhockey "buck and eddie meet in afghanistan. it changes everything." word count: 27k important tags: diferent first meeting au, army!eddie diaz, navy seal!evan buckley, emotional infidelity, slow burn, hurt/comfort, love confessions drench yourself in words unspoken by: foxwatson "the one where everything in canon is the same, except eddie diaz is secretly a bestselling romance author, and nobody knows. yet." word count: 26k important tags gay disaster!eddie diaz, idiots in love, getting together this is it, all the flames by: withoutthetiger "set sometime in the middle of s6, just a quiet surprise in the middle of buck's kitchen." word count: 4.6k important tags: requited love, friends to lovers, soft boys, first kiss, diary/journal i want your midnightsby: allyasavedtheday "in which eddie decides to rent out his spare room to help with mortgage repayments right around the time buck decides to move out of abby's place after some not so gentle prodding from maddie. it's a coincidence. or serendipity. or maybe just really good timing." word count: 36k important tags: roommates au, slow burn, alternate pov, fluff, friends to lovers no kingdom to come by: waywardrenegades "when his father experiences a health scare, eddie flies to el paso." word count: 23k important tags: feeling realization, love confessions, slow burn, idiots in love, light angst all bets are off by: nobodyknows_u "the five times the firefam realized Buck and Eddie were in love, and the one-time Eddie finally did something about it." word count: 35k important tags: 5+1 things, idiots in love, team as family, fluff and angst, didn't realise they were in love it's always been you by: coupe_de_foudre “what do i normally get from there?” eddie asks him, chin settled back onto his shoulder. “the kung pao chicken.” he answers almost instantaneously, having all of eddie’s usual take-out orders memorised by now. it comes in handy for when they need to get food in quick whilst navigating work and christopher. it’s not weird. he, unfortunately, misses the odd look that maddie sends him. as well as the way that hen hides a snicker behind a cough." word count: 8.7k important tags: 5+1 things, oblivious idiots, feelings realisation, getting together, fluff the definition of love and all things ineffable by: elvensorceress "in which buck processes his breakup, learns his place in his family, has a huge crisis of sexuality, and finds the truth about love beating in his own heart" word count: 29k important tags: idiots in love, christopher diaz has two dads, coming out, sexuality crisis, family feels but, baby, watching you blush by: calvingseason "buck and eddie go to hershey for buck's high school reunion. the only problem? everyone thinks that they're married." word count: 10k important tags: fake marriage, sharing a bed, gay!eddie diaz, high school reunions baby, say you'll always keep me by: hattalove "the one in which joking about being married to your best friend is all fun and games, right up until you realize that you're not laughing" word count: 8.2k important tags: didn't know they were dating, getting together, friends to fiances, first kiss the thing is by hideeho "when eddie's friend carlos comes into town to escape a broken heart, eddie has high hopes that he and buck will hit it off and become friends. that’s all he wants, really. two of his favorite people getting along. if he could just get buck to stop glaring" word count: 18k important tags: carlos reyes (911 lone star), jealous!evan buckley, oblivious!eddie diaz, healthy male friendships, miscommunication eddie's not-so-secret feelings by: r_e_r6 "5 times eddie says sweet things about buck in spanish so buck doesn't find out he's in love with him +1 time eddie realises buck speaks spanish and knew all along" word count: 17k important tags: buck speaks spanish, fluff, soft!eddie diaz, feelings realisations, making out
#will definitely be doing a pt2 for this trope#911 fandom#911 show#911 abc#911 fox#buck x eddie#buddie fic#evan buckley#mutual pining fics#mutual pining#buddie recommendations#buck x eddie fic#eddie diaz#ao3feed#ao3 link#ao3#evan buck buckley
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what do u think ab act 2? fav moments and least fav?
I just finished and let me say first. warwicks faceeeee I took an edible and by the time the show got to warwick I was losing my mind. my fav moments were training montage with ambessa and caitlyn, every time caitlyn was on the screen she is so beautiful idc idc, caitlyn and vi beating each other up and vi spitting in her face and i think then there was a cute lil moment that i did like, and jinx with silcos jacket. my least favs are the fucking hugs with warwick, the two goofy moomin ass montages with vi and jinx and their family and the kid, and the way jinx and warwick calling jinx his daughter I'm sorry I can't I'm cackling just remembering
*let me say it here i was always the believer that caitlyn fucks, that she gets pussy and I win. I wish maddie wasn't such a downgrade from her previous concubines but it is what it is.
*I feel like they are trying to use both mel and caitlyn to humanise ambessa but we have so little screentime with both of them that it's just not working
*I think they struggle with tone sometimes because the warsaw ghetto ass look of zaun is so serious but then some of the humour is so goofy but not in an elevating the mood way but in detached way, it's just mcu ass clunky writing. we achieved peace in zaun with one act of nonviolence and sevikas speech be actual and factual. idk I guess you could say it's because of the threat from piltover but I'm not buying this
*I wish they had more space to flesh out ambessa and caitlyn but the pieces that are there are so juicy. they just don't have enough screen time together and we have to fill in the gaps a lot. one thing I know for sure is they should be scissoring like crazy rn. seeing less ambessa and caitlyn feels detrimental to both of their characters but also that training montageee I hope ambessa gets her pregnant
*jinxs writing is so messy idk idk. her saying silco shouldn't have died kind of cracked me like GIRL WHO DID THAT that was literally you. I didn't mind the dejected and aimless route but also thus show chooses to focus on the weirdest things like idk what the fuck the goal is here
*I think they are still trying to do this cycle of violence thing but the way we only have caitlyn as a fascist dictator who's actually in zaun going through shit is just not working, like the violence has a clear source here
*god the kid is such a waste of screentime, I hope jayce did end her shit acc. everything being done with jinx could have been better if it was without the kid like they are establishing what's already been established but worse. I just understand the idea but not the choices for execution so far. they very clearly used the kid just to have a quick latch between s1 jinx amd s2 jinx by connecting the two and giving her a vague reason to care about zaun because the fucking kid does but it's so lazyyy
*piltover continues to have the worst security on the planet like I just don't believe a prison should be this easy to break into. fucking arkham asylum has tighter security and people escape that shit weekly
*if stillwater has that lil over the water tram why the fuck was caitlyn on a dingy in s1
*Warwick vs jinx fight got me a lil I can't lie yeah it was beyond corny but vander being the thing that brings them back together and jinxs willingness to blow herself up are both so juicy. I am someone who cries at EVERY greys anatomy episode tho so don't trust my judgement
*I yearn for caitlyns dungeons for sure idk about yalll but I felt that line. I'm gonna get cancelled for this joke but caitlyns fuhrer look has got to be some rightwing propaganda for lesbians she looks so fucking good. the way she's obsessing over jinx I'm losing my mind, my caitjinx fics have been getting kudos lately and I was like oh bitch this ship is rising. however caitlyn is lowkey not seeing heaven like I think at the nuremberg trials she would be hanged
*cocktail molotov is better than heavy is the crown I said it and I'll say it again
*the way black women's accomplishments are never acknowledged because mel should be prime bisexual headcanon real estate for fandom like shes got a hunk, a sickly victorian twink, a furry transfem conspirator, and a close female companion like what is not to enjoy here
*the whole subplot with singed is like. in separation I could enjoy it but when it was introduced I was just look not another fucking plot that doesn't connect to anything yet
*however after a line of complaints JINX WITH SILCOS JACKET FUCK OFFFFFF THAT GOT MEEE
*that flashback was pointless and should have been cut but not fucking jinxs mother saying all this shit about what a decision naming a kid is and then naming her powder. this is proof it was a conscious act of sabotage
*end of episode 5 with the hug broke my goofometer I'm sorry if you cried I can't treat this show seriously right now I was like this better be purgatory or jinx is off her fucking rocker just completely gone up there and she's hallucinating this. I think I'm in minority about this but i don't really care my love for bad media has depths you wouldn't understand
*and also again I cry at every greys anatomy episode like I'm not a snob trust I was giggling
*it was to be said jayce is hot now in that jaimie lannister covered in horse piss and in chains way. unexpected development
*the way they are patching vi and jinx up and setting up what is obviously jinxs redemption arc is kind of really bad and goofy but it's not like I don't like redemption arcs I just need to ruminate on why I think it's just not working. I think it's killing me that caitlyns storyline is actual fascism and then vi and jinx are reconnecting while trying to cure their werewolf dad with the help of steampunk jesus. it's very adventure time this way and I was right that caitlyn IS princess bubblegum in the sense that they are both fascists sjsjjsjsk
*every time we switch gears I'm just like oh my god another fucking storyline I forgot was also here, like everything will always go back to the fact that they have way too many storylines
*domestic abuse caitvi eats. I'm sorry they are everything, I think this season is fanservice for a very specific type of a lesbian and I'm exactly that type
*warwick calling jinx his daughter was too much like actually delete the file. this power of friendship ass writing I can't, I'm fucking cackling
*if I was caitlyn I would actually become more fascist now like if I saw jinxs life get better after she killed my fucking mum and I ruined mime so I'm down a parent, her fucking dad comes back to life and she reunites with her sister and becomes a teen mom???? this is bullshit jayce pls do blow up this fucking place!!!!
*I truly cannot tell you what the thesis of this show is anymore things just kind of happen
*we cannot make killing vander the only inciting event in runeterras history like history cannot be repeating 1:1 this much, it's gotta be dressed in slightly different decorations
*overall I think we gotta say those last 3 episodes cannot be good
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I posted 4,550 times in 2022
470 posts created (10%)
4,080 posts reblogged (90%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@swiftiediaz
@monsterrae1
@paqerings
@lostinabuddiehaze
@swiftiebuckleys
I tagged 2,329 of my posts in 2022
Only 49% of my posts had no tags
#eddie diaz - 362 posts
#evan buckley - 357 posts
#buddie - 339 posts
#911 fox - 213 posts
#scheduled - 194 posts
#911 on fox - 184 posts
#evan buck buckley - 161 posts
#911 spoilers - 158 posts
#buck x eddie - 141 posts
#buddie fic - 135 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#and like maybe they can tañk about feeling inadequate as parents and how to deal with thar and stuff bc god knows those two are traumatized
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
i can't stop thinking about photographer buck so...
It’s mostly a joke, when Eddie first mentions photography to him. Buck's editing a photo on Lightroom on his phone between calls, a photo of Eddie and Chris at the beach.
It's beautiful and Eddie loves it. Buck took it without them even noticing, the photo being even more special that way. Eddie is laughing at something Chris said, they're both wet from playing on the ocean and they have sand on their arms, hands and shoulders. The sun shining down and making the both of them look golden. The rays of sunshine forming almost a halo around them— the waves at the back making the picture even more breathtaking.
Eddie's half joking, half serious, when he tells Buck to buy a fancy camera to take pictures with.
He didn't think Buck would actually listen to him.
Next thing he knows, Buck's instagram becomes full of digitized film pictures of the 118, their family barbeques at the Grant-Nash's house. Pictures of Chris and Eddie at the beach, of Jee playing at the park, of Maddie laughing at one of Chim's jokes. A lot of pictures of Eddie, too.
Pictures of Eddie, of him rolling his eyes with a hand held out and half covering his face. A picture of Eddie mid-way through a laugh, an easy smile on his face.
And he swears, never before a camera has made his stomach do back-flips the way it does when Buck is trying to take a picture of him.
“I swear, I’ll break that thing if you don’t get that out of my face,” he snaps at him. They're in Eddie's kitchen and he's trying to follow a recipe Linda sent him last week, Buck being an enormous distraction and not helpful at all.
"I like capturing people in crisis, Eddie." Buck smirks, all smug and teasing. Eddie kinda hates him a little bit.
Except for the part where he doesn't hate him at all.
Buck grins, bright and unapologetic and Eddie loves him. So much he aches with it.
"Yeah, okay. Whatever." Eddie rolls his eyes, trying to suppress the fond smile that it's already forming on his face.
Later, he'll see the picture Buck takes. Eddie will be covered in flour, it'll be everywhere. In his arms, his clothes, his cheeks. The kitchen around him a mess of ingredients and half ass attempts at a meal. Eddie looking down with a small, shy smile. The warm, almost orange glow of the kitchen light making him look all soft and golden. Later, he'll see that picture and will think oh.
Oh.
He sees me the same way I see him.
Oh.
1,101 notes - Posted November 1, 2022
#4
Buck making dinner for his husband & their son! I will never be over this scene i swear
1,329 notes - Posted September 19, 2022
#3
THEY'RE SO HUSBANDS SHAPED
1,654 notes - Posted September 26, 2022
#2
insp
the balcony scene™ literally was:
buck: 🥺🥺🥺
eddie: kidding, i love you. marry me. pls don't be sad.
1,673 notes - Posted January 12, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
i love you fic writers, i love you appreciation posts for fic writers, i love you rec lists, i love you seven sentences sunday, i love you wip wednesday, i love you fics who make me smile and giggle at 3am, i love you fic writers in general, i love you readers who leave kudos and comments, i love you creators who make art inspired by fic, i love you creative wonderful people who make fandom a better experience.
1,721 notes - Posted August 21, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Haven't watched the entire episode yet, just the scenes involving Buck, Chim, and Eddie... and holy smokes, I didn't think we'd have that kind of outcome.
On a side note: Kudos to the actors, they really pulled it off. Kenneth has had me in tears, damn it.
To send this ahead: Chim is no villain or something like that, the man is desperate and even in his desperation made some very valid points that need addressing. Buck was in an impossible situation, caught between two parties, trying to make it work. Even though that meant he may have done harm instead of good, albeit well-intended. And Maddie needs help, and I hope Chim's gonna get her just that.
*takes a deep breath*
That being said, I honestly hope the narrative doesn't just brush the punching off as "that's how guys solve conflicts, so we can all laugh about it later, haha". Because I personally detest this theme - if you can even call it that - wherein physically harming friends (especially male friends) is somehow seen as gratifying, justified, or played for laughs.
We've seen it in Grey's Anatomy plenty of times, we've seen it in so many shows and films that I lost count of it, and I just crave different and nuanced ways to show particularly male characters expressing their emotions. That they aren't only ever reduced to the expression of great emotion via anger and aggression. As though violence is the only language man speaks. And while surely, they are out there, especially the narrative move to then brush it off and play it for laughs is something I find deeply troubling in many shows and films. Because it normalizes such behavior, or even worse, makes it out to be something good.
So I really, really, really hope we see Buck and Chim talking it out, both apologizing for the mistakes made on either side, and then moving on from this. And I hope that we see more nuance narratively in handling that situation instead of e.g. Buck becoming the buttend of jokes about his shiner, Chim getting nicknames revolving around boxing, or whatever else.
Which doesn't mean they can't laugh about it eventually. But I really hope we see them talk about it first. Like, real conversation about how that was a shitty situation for them both. And that it's not only portrayed in such a way that Chim was perfectly justified. Or that Buck is the only one an apology is owed to.
Because no, even if you are desperate, even if your friend did something that pains you emotionally very, very much, violence is not the answer. And I hope the show addresses that tidbit the same way it ought to address that Buck didn't make ideal calls either.
But I cannot overstress enough just how I hate that overused trope of the man not finding any other outlet for his anger, sadness, plainly his emotions, than to physically harm other people. Even more so the people he loves (and who love him).
Especially since I was so happy for a show to highlight men being vulnerable and allowing weakness - and showing the ramifications when you eat it all up until your only outlet, yes, turns out to be anger (see the street fighting arc for Eddie, etc.). So I hope they don't lose that for the sake of the drama or whatever else.
Putting that aside (I seriously loathe that theme, what can I say?), too, my heart goes out to all of them.
I'm curious to see whether we'll get to know how lack of information may mix things up. Buck seemingly knew some things Chim hasn't (including the hospital visit for Jee), but I'm not entirely sure whether Chim and Maddie have told him everything regarding her downward spiral. I'm not even entirely sure he knows she has PPD. Because that may have made him act differently, too. So I would find it narratively interesting to see that unravel a bit more.
It'd draw a nice (albeit bitter) parallel to much of the lawsuit arc, wherein much of the pain was caused by a lack of communication between people, giving room to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. This feels very similar to me here. Just like the callbacks to Buck Begins and Maddie having told Chim about Daniel and the savior sibling issue before telling Buck. It's not the same, but it is interesting that we now have the roles in reverse for Buck and Chim. So I am worried yet excited how that's going to pan out.
Being a Buck fan and a hoe for angst and hurt/comfort, obviously I have been fed (though I was still hoping that it'd be some rando at a scene and not Chimney to punch him - and for Eddie to tend to him on-screen with all of the hearteyes!). And as a Buddie shipper, the balcony scene has been all kinds of delicious, but I'm very interested to see how that works out for him. What it will do to him.
To me, it felt like Buck *thought* he was acting responsibly (as Eddie says, trying to fix things for the people he loves), focusing on supporting Chim and Jee - and helping Maddie by respecting her wish to get time alone. Again, I think much stems from the fact that he thought he had all information, though I'm not entirely sure he does. So to him, it may very well have looked like "okay, my sister just had Jee at the hospital for a little accident, she's upset, and normally, she needs some distance to sort herself out, so I'm going to have her back while she does that". Because he doesn't know what Chim has been seeing. So in the end, he genuinely thinks he is doing the right thing, that he is acting responsibly, that he's having his sister's back instead of relying on her. That it may have different effects (it does), is something that's always easier to see in the retrospective. So there is that. And I hope they make something out of it.
I'm still curious what headspace Buck's going to be in, moving forward in the season. I've rambled in some previous post how I thought he'd be spiraling because of Maddie leaving (not having anticipated to see Chim spiral instead, or that Maddie would call him instead of Chim).
I'm just worried Buck may wear himself (emotionally) thin. He's been worried about Eddie a lot. Now he's worrying about Chim and Maddie and Jee. He's triyng to fix things, he's trying to be there for the people he cares about. And he's brought closer and closer to the realization that he can't fix things, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how well he intends. So being that angst-craving hoe I am, I could see him starting spiraling in a different direction on his own thanks to that experience.
Because this is not about not being able to help other people on the job (as that motivated him to sue). This is about him not being able to help the people he cares about, the people he loves. Which must be a very, very tough blow for him (pun not intended).
As we've seen last season with Eddie getting shot, that sends the boy places. So I'm curious to see whether we're going to witness Buck finding different ways to deal with those troubling emotions, e.g. as a result of his therapy coupled with his character growth, or if he may find himself on a cliff edge emotionally all over again, needing some help, too.
In which case: Eddie to the rescue!
So yeah. Much to think about. Much to cry about. Much to worry about.
This weewoo show is upsetting way too many of my five emotions!
#evan buckley#911 spoilers#911 season 5 spoilers#911 season 5#evan buck buckley#buddie#the random rambling continues!
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i just did a deep youtube dive into old 911 trailers from previous seasons, bc i wanted to see how different the contents of the trailers back then was from the contents of the series, because it's super interesting to me. BUT what i absolutely loved and didn't expect at all were all the youtube comments saying stuff like "are they hinting at buck liking the new guy?" and "i think buck and the diaz guy are gonna end up together" and in 2x08 "what?? i was so sure buck was gonna end up with diaz"
part 2: and it's so true for me lmao, because when i was watching season 2A i genuinely thought that this was what they were hinting at with all the buck and eddie scenes. the one where maddie teases him, the look maddie gave buck when he mentioned eddie for the millionth time, the looks they were giving each other, it genuinely screamed future romance to me. then it all stopped by the time season 2 ended and season 3 started, but now i'm glad i wasn't the only one seeing it like that lol
INCH RESTING. big kudos to them for living in the year 3000 omg. in s2 i wasn't even thinking anything would seriously happen between them more than a few jokes here and there, but mannn look at where we are now.
#also omg but watching old trailers is SO entertaining#like i remember the s2 trailer had a bunch of nuggets that didn't quite make it in#or like alternate shots and stuff like that#and i love all that so much lmao#ask#anon
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focal point
i wrote a buddie fic abt buck being reckless and eddie being stressed <3 i owe all my thanks and love to robin for encouraging me to write it she owns my heart mwah! (here is the link if u would like to read it on ao3 maybe n drop a kudos or a comment even 😳)
Bobby’s hand slaps against Eddie’s back as he hurries them towards the exit. He’s sure Bobby is yelling at him to move faster, hurry, but over the building collapsing behind them, Eddie can’t hear much else besides his own labored breathing. Hen and Chim are ducking their heads, barreling forward in front of him, and he trusts that Buck is following closely behind Bobby. They’re so close to the exit, he can see the flashing lights of trucks and engines from the other stations, and the closer they get, the more the smoke thins, and breathing gets a bit easier.
Bobby practically pushes him out of the small exit when they reach it, and he slams into Hen’s back, and they both fall through the opening with a shout and then take several deep breaths as they inhale fresh air as much and as quickly as they can. Eddie’s staring up at the sky, mask off, letting himself breathe before remembering he has to get up and move farther away from the building, but as he gets up he sees Bobby arguing with Buck at the threshold of the building. Before he can think he’s on his feet and walking towards them as fast as he can – he knows what Buck’s doing.
“I heard someone, Bobby!” Buck shouts, his voice is raspy from the bad air and it cracks. “I have to go back!”
“Buck, no! It’s too dangerous! The building is becoming less and less stable the longer we stand here. Come on!” Bobby points towards the line the police have marked off, Chim and Hen stand by it, watching them, trying to decipher what’s going on.
“Exactly! So I should go now!” Buck counters and Eddie wants to pick him up, throw him over his shoulder, and march back to the safety barrier.
“Buck do not–” Eddie steps towards him and reaches out, but Buck cuts him off.
“You know I have to do this, I’m sorry.” Buck gives them both a pained look before turning and running back into the haze of smoke and fire.
“Buck!” Eddie hears two other voices yell in unison with him, but he’s the only one Bobby is dragging away.
Hen and Chim are trying to push past the officers at the barrier, stressing that they need to get to Eddie and Bobby. Eddie distantly hears them arguing, but he’s too busy trying to break free from Bobby’s grip to pay attention to what exactly is being said. He’s yelling and twisting, but Bobby won’t let go of him, and he watches the rectangle Buck ran through getting smaller and smaller. In a last-ditch effort to get out, he stills and feels Bobby’s hands relax for a second, and in that second Eddie throws his full body weight forward and just barely slips through Bobby’s fingers.
He takes maybe three steps before he stops in his tracks, staring forward in horror.
The building gives a giant moan. Eddie freezes. The front collapses. Time stops. The sound of the flames gets louder. Time begins again.
In his peripheral, he sees Bobby grind to a halt next to him, he imagines a similar look of horror sits on his face. The only exit now sits in front of them, burning, and smoke billows out of the windows surrounding it.
Before he can process what’s happening, police officers are pushing him back, shoving at his shoulders causing him to gracelessly stumble backward. His eyes don’t leave the building. Buck is in there. Buck is in there. With no way out. The last thought makes him want to be sick.
He’s guided to the 118 engine where he meets Chim, Hen, and Bobby gathered around a radio, exchanging worried glances.
“Buck?” Hen says into the radio. “Buck?” She tries again.
“Anything?” Eddie bounds up to them, breathless, pushing down the sick feeling in his gut and trying to focus on what he can do at this moment.
Hen opens her mouth, presumably to say no, but the radio crackle interrupts her.
“-en? Hen?” Comes Buck’s voice through the tiny speaker. “Hen, I can hear you.” Buck’s voice sounds tired and worse than it did the less than two minutes ago Eddie had seen him.
Hen briefly rests her forehead against the radio and lets out a small sigh of relief. Bobby and Chim both look up and give short relieved breaths. Eddie stays focused on the radio, watching the red light blink. As long as that light is blinking, Buck is okay. That’s what he keeps telling himself. Red light means he’s alright. It becomes his new mantra that he chants in his head over and over again.
“Are you okay?” Hen asks, biting her lip with worry after letting the talk button go.
It takes a second, but Buck replies, “I’m okay. I was right, though. Tell Bobby I was right.” And Eddie can practically hear his shit-eating grin, which makes him relax a bit.
“You can tell me yourself when you get your ass out of the building,” Bobby replies, leaning forward a bit so he can be closer to the radio while Hen holds it.
“Yeah, yeah,” Buck replies. “Hey Eddie, I found a new best friend,” Buck jokes, but his voice is tighter than it is when he’s usually joking around. Eddie knows this tone, they all do, he’s trying to play it cool for whoever he’s with.
Eddie plays along. “Oh yeah?” He tries to sound light and happy when he says it, but his voice gives out at the end and he knows he’s doing a shit job of covering up his stress.
“Yeah. Her name’s Audrey, and she’s the coolest third grader I’ve ever met.” Eddie imagines Buck gently kneeling with her, letting her use his mask and air.
Bobby leans back in, so Hen presses down on the talk button again for him. “Hey, Buck,” he begins, “The exit collapsed.” There’s silence for a moment, and they all hold their breath. Then comes the crackle from the other end.
“Yeah.” Buck sighs, his voice closer to the radio and quieter than before. “I heard it.”
“What’s your exit plan?” Bobby responds.
“Uh, right now, I’m trying to get to the other side of the first floor and find a window, and get,” Buck pauses to take a few slow breaths, “Audrey out, and then I’ll follow her.”
Okay. He has a plan. He knows where he needs to go, and a general sense of direction. That’s comforting to know.
“Be safe, Buck,” Chim tells him and his voice is hard, and they all know it’s more of a command than a well-wish. Briefly, Eddie wonders if he’s told Maddie about what Buck did.
“You know me, caution is my middle name.” And that time Buck sounded like himself again. “I’m gonna start moving Audrey and me towards the other side of the building. Radio me if something changes.”
Eddie’s stomach sinks at the thought of not talking to Buck on his radio for several minutes, but instead pushes it down and takes Hen’s radio into his own hands and says, “That goes the same for you.”
“We’ll be extra careful for you, Eddie.” Buck radios back. He hears Audrey muffled in the background, and then Buck says, “Audrey made me promise her that we won’t get hurt, so now I’m going to be extra safe.”
Eddie hands the radio back to Hen and they all turn to face the building, the fire spreading despite having hoses from three different stations trained on it. All he has to do is get from one side to the other.
The captain from one of the other stations jogs up to Bobby and asks for his help on something, and Bobby gives him a clap on the shoulder and a head nod before he heads off with the captain. Chim peels away from him and Hen to go call Maddie and update her about what’s going on, and Eddie’s selfishly glad he won’t have to listen to Chim talk Maddie out of coming down here and storming in herself – he can’t handle the added stress.
“He’ll be okay, Eddie,” Hen says, giving him a soft look. “He’s done shit like this before, he’ll be okay.”
“I’m gonna kick his ass when I see him again,” Eddie says and he bites the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from crying. His eyes are stinging and his vision is blurring, and the last thing he needs right now is a meltdown.
Hen laughs a bit, and she looks down at the ground and kicks at some loose gravel. “You two are gonna be the death of me.”
They fall into an easy silence for a few moments, and Eddie opens his mouth to say something in response to that – to shrug it off, to point out her poor choice of words – when they hear shouting, and they both run out to stand in front of the trucks and engines to try and get an idea of what’s going on. He hears the creaking again, but before he can register what’s happening, Hen’s radio crackles to life.
Buck’s voice comes through, “Eddie–!” and just as soon as Eddie was flooded with relief, dread replaces it as Buck is cut off and the line goes silent.
They both hear a crash and their heads fly up from the radio, and they watch, panicked, as another section of the building collapses right in the direction Buck was heading. A truck turns its water on the newly collapsed part, and people are shouting directions around them. He and Hen both look down at the radio at the same time.
There’s no red blinking light.
Eddie feels the color drain from his face. Hen looks up at him, her eyes wide with fear and brows furrowed. Chim runs up to them and before he can say anything, Hen just lifts the radio towards him.
“Maddie’s driving down.” He sounds as if he’s realizing she might be driving to the scene of her brother’s death. “I couldn’t stop her.”
Bobby rounds the corner of a truck and his eyes catching on the radio Hen is limply holding in her hand. “I know you guys are worried about Buck, I’m worried about him too, but we’re still on the job and there’s still people to look after and care for.” He’s using his Captain Voice and Eddie knows his heart is as close to breaking as theirs if just one more thing goes wrong. The three of them look at Bobby, exhausted, but ready to listen. “Hen, Chim, go to the ambulances and help them attend to the people there.” He nods at them and they split off, hustling towards the few ambulances remaining to take care of those with minor scrapes and bruises. “Eddie,” he turns his head to Bobby at the mention of his name, “You need to be here, present, mentally. We aren’t any good to him just standing here, staring at the building, okay?” Eddie mutley nods at him. “Good. I need you with me. We’re going to talk to the other captains about what to do next.” Bobby turns and walks away from Eddie without looking back, and Eddie hurries after him.
There’s so much noise going on all around him – news choppers, reporters, police yelling at people to stay back, people shouting, the fire, the hoses – but all Eddie can focus on is the clear and heavy absence of Buck. He pulls his radio out of his jacket pocket and clips it to his shoulder, watching for that blinking red light.
The other captains are gathered around the back of one of the engines, slightly hidden from view of the building, but Eddie adjusts himself so he can still see it. He doesn’t know how long he stands in the circle with Bobby and the others, just staring at the fire, trying to will Buck to stumble out of it, but he rejoins the conversation when Bobby slightly shoves his shoulder with his own.
“We need more water. More engines, more trucks, just more.” The woman who’s saying this has a patch on her jacket that reads PARKER. “The whole building could come down soon and then we’re really at risk of it spreading.”
“So what do you suggest we do?” Asks a man with the name HARRISON patched onto him.
“Radio other districts for help. We need to douse this thing.” Parker explains and Harrison and Bobby nod in agreement. “Then, we move everyone back and prepare for building collapse.”
Eddie frowns when he sees Harrison agreeing again, and shoots a look at Bobby. “But wait, we still have a man in there, Captain Parker.”
“Diaz is right. There’s a firefighter and a little girl still inside.” Bobby calmly explains and Eddie thanks whatever God there is that Bobby’s there to back him up.
“Any word from him?” Harrison asks after a brief silence.
“Not since the second collapse, but–”
“Where was he when it collapsed?” Harrison interrupts him.
Eddie falls silent, so Bobby speaks up, “He was in the general area of it.” Eddie catches the other captains shooting each other knowing looks.
“He’s not dead!” Eddie exclaims and they all turn to him.
“Look at the facts, Diaz. He was near the collapse, you haven’t heard from him in minutes, he was in the area, and he’s probably out of air by now.” Parker tells him matter-of-factly, though her eyes are sad. Her tone softens as she says, “I know this isn’t easy. But we can’t put two lives above everyone else’s.”
Eddie knows she has a point. He knows she’s right. But it’s not just any person, it’s Buck. “We can’t just… we can’t leave him – them – to burn!” And Eddie feels his eyes stinging again. “He’s alive! He has to be.”
Parker turns to Bobby, softness almost gone and commands, “You need to get him in check. This isn’t an easy decision, but it’s what we have to do, and you know it.” She puts her helmet back on, and Harrison follows her lead. “I’m going to make a call to another district. Harrison, I want you to help the police back everyone up.” She gives Bobby one more serious look, and then she’s gone.
“Eddie, what did I tell you earlier.” Bobby turns to him once they’re alone.
“Bobby, I know, but it’s Buck,” Eddie says again like if he keeps saying the words, it’ll explain everything.
“Eddie, we all want –”
“No! No, because it’s different for me!” And Eddie grits his teeth as he feels tears run down his face. “It’s different for me.” He repeats, but softer, and his voice cracks. He’s staring hard at the ground as he leans against the engine.
Bobby pauses before responding. “Eddie, we have to start moving back.” He’s using his Dad Voice on him now and Eddie might laugh if the situation was anything but this. “We don’t have to move fast, we can lag behind. We can stay here as long as we can, but if Buck isn’t… but when the building comes down, we’re at risk.”
“He has to be alive, Bobby.” Eddie knows how he sounds – defeated, worn down, desperate. “Because if he isn’t… if this is the time that…” And he trails off, knowing Bobby understands where he was going with it.
Bobby doesn’t say anything else, but he leans against the engine with Eddie, watching police move the barricades and moving people back. They’ll have to drag Eddie kicking and screaming from where he’s standing.
Eventually, Parker makes her way back to them and fixes Eddie with an unimpressed look, and only addresses Bobby while she talks, “You have to move. We’re backing everything up now, and last to move is apparently this engine, a truck, and you two.”
Eddie opens his mouth to argue with her, ready to lament about how he won’t move unless she can pick him up herself when he sees a shape moving in the smoke and haze. He doesn’t let himself get his hopes up, not yet, it could be someone that was doing a last-minute look at the building to assess it. But then he sees a smaller figure slide off the first figure, and then they’re both running towards the lights as fast as they can, and Eddie’s so relieved he wants to scream. So he does.
“Buck!” He shouts and Buck takes Audrey’s hand and leads her towards Eddie and Bobby.
Parker’s head twists around fast and before Eddie can be smug about being right, she’s yelling for someone from the ambulances to come get the girl. Hen and Chim are heard before Eddie can see them, he’s zeroed in on Buck.
His face is covered in ash and there’s a sizable gash across his left cheek and his chin, but he’s smiling and telling Audrey something as he runs over. It finally clicks into place that Buck’s coming towards him, the little girl in tow, and he starts walking towards Buck without a second thought. Bobby’s telling Parker that they’ll move back in a second and agrees to help her move the engine and truck to appease her, and she takes him around the engine.
Hen and Chim are getting closer and yelling out Buck’s name and some phrases a child probably shouldn’t hear, but Eddie gets it. He’d be yelling too if he wasn’t on the verge of sobbing.
When Hen and Chim get to him, they call him a dumbass before dropping to their knees and asking Audrey if they could pick her up to take her to the ambulances. She nods at them and when they pick her up, Eddie notices that her feet are cut up and she’s wearing a nightgown and feels a pang of sadness. He doesn’t realize he’s stopped walking until he looks at Buck who has also stopped walking and is just staring back at him. He flashes Eddie a smile, scratches the back of his head awkwardly, and that sets Eddie back in motion.
When he’s within arm’s reach of him, Buck throws his hands up and opens his mouth, “Look, Eddie–” But Eddie will never know the end of that sentence.
Because he walks right up to Buck, ignores him trying to talk, and kisses him. He’s gripping the front of Buck’s jacket in his hands and holding on tightly as if he’s worried the fire will pull back in. Buck makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat but quickly wraps his arms around Eddie, pulling him in closer. Buck tastes like the mint gum he was chewing earlier and ash, but Eddie doesn’t care.
Eddie screws his eyes shut as he presses in closer to Buck, and he can feel his face getting wet again from his tears, but it doesn’t matter because he has Buck. He has Buck in his arms and he’s kissing him. He feels Buck’s hand move up to his face and he smiles into their kiss, Buck’s hands cupping his face, and Eddie never thought he’d enjoy feeling small, but right now it’s the best feeling in the world.
Unfortunately, there’s still a burning building at risk of collapsing, so they break apart, Eddie wipes at his eyes and pretends he doesn’t see the fond look Buck is giving him. For a moment, it’s just them standing in silence before Bobby comes over and drags them both back to the new barricade.
“Nothing is ever easy with you two.” He grumbles, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. He unceremoniously dumps them at the edge of the barricade before he walks off to talk to Athena.
Eddie keeps his eyes staring straight ahead because he can feel Buck smiling at him with his megawatt grin, and he’s trying to play it cool. He glances over at Buck and finds himself grinning back. Playing it cool is overrated anyway.
“So,” Buck says as Eddie turns to face him. Buck’s jacket lays haphazardly at his feet now, and he’s got his arms crossed in front of his chest, eyes bright and smile wide. “Is that gonna happen every time I do something reckless now?”
Eddie rolls his eyes, dropping his jacket to the ground too. Feeling bold, he says, “It doesn’t just have to happen then, you know.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up as if he hadn’t considered that. “I’d like that.” Is all he says.
“Good. Me too.” Eddie feels his cheeks flush a bit.
“Are you blushing?” Buck exclaims. “I made Eddie Diaz blush?”
Eddie tries not to smile, trying to look upset. He fails. “Shut up.”
Buck’s expression schools itself one of confidence, and he drops his arms, taking a step towards Eddie. “Make me.”
If Eddie wasn’t red before, he sure as hell is now. Still, he leans in and whispers, “Okay, Buckley.” Before connecting their lips again.
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Can you share your thoughts on where the 911 (main) characters are at plot wise in this season? Season 4 is almost over and I would love to see your thoughts on their growth so far in season 4. Bobby, Hen, Chim, Buck and Eddie?
I’m so glad you asked because I have thoughts.
Okay, so- comparatively- we haven’t gotten a lot of Bobby scenes but I love that we’re seeing him step into a more father figure role (esp with May). It hasn’t taken away from Michael’s role at all, they’re not reusing the same plot where Michael’s feeling threatened ya know? And I really appreciate that.
I love all the Hen content we’ve been getting and I love seeing how she was with Sydney and how they addressed that. Every time there’s been a Henren scene I end up crying, which kudos to them. I really like the way they went in the last episode where they asked Denny what he wanted to do instead of just making a decision that affects him too. I also liked how they tied in the fact that Nia’s birth mom wasn’t an addict or anything, she was just struggling to make ends meet because that’s absolutely valid and a real thing that happens and how Hen wanted someone to blame for losing Nia and how the birth mom was the easiest person to blame, and how Karen was like “babe that’s not fair.” Idk I just really appreciate these two
Dad Chimney!! I think that his development has been amazing throughout season 4. The way he supported Maddie and Buck with the Buckley parents. He was seeing things that no one else was seeing and felt terrible for not being able to help but he still did his best. He tried to make a joke about the baby box. I just!!! And I liked how they address the “I’m a parent and as a parent if I’m not the one taking care of my kid then who is” because that’s a real thing that happens (it happened with my parents and my brother etc.) I love how Chimney is stepping into this big brother and dad role and I’m really excited to see how they use that.
I liked the Storyline they used with Buck in 4x04 and 5 because I found that I can really relate to the Buckley siblings more than I thought I could. And I never see parent/kid relationships on TV where the parents are there but not there. So it was really nice for me to see. The begins makes a lot of sense and it really helps us as the audience understand Buck better. Because I feel like in fics that were published before the begins, Buck was reckless because he liked showing off or playing the hero, and that never sat right with me. All of that to say, I really liked Buck’s growth this season because it’s something I can relate to.
I honestly… I don’t know how I feel about Eddie’s plot this season. It’s just been a little weird to me- like the writers aren’t really sure what to do with Eddie and I’m not saying this cause I hate Ana or whatever (I actually think she’s iconic and would love to see more of her character development) but I think she is part of why it seems weird. I don’t think I really see the chemistry between them the same way that it was with Shannon? I don’t know, I know it’s not fair to compare the relationships because they’re different people and everything it’s just- it’s weird.
(Also I did not like the plot of breaking point for Buck and Taylor; I like Taylor, I really do, but I think that that specific plot was weird and kind of out of character for Buck. Although she deserved to tell him off)
#ink answers#911 spoilers#my thoughts#evan buckley#eddie diaz#bobby nash#hen wilson#chimney han#karen wilson#ana flores#taylor kelly#anon
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do you have any buddie au fic recs?
I do indeed! First, there’s a Buddie AU fanfic collection on AO3 if you’d like to peruse that.
Here are some of my favorite AU fics:
We Fell In Love Dancing Kizomba by @imyourbuddie (82k, E, WIP) - D/s AU
After tragedy strikes close to home, firefighter Eddie Diaz moves him and his son, Christopher, to LA where they can start fresh. Single fatherhood, new job, and a new town stretch Eddie thin, and his biological Dominant needs are barely met. But the fear of repeating the same mistakes keeps him strung tight and unable to let loose.
Evan "Buck" Buckley loves cooking and teaching children in his cooking class. He's a Submissive, this is what he's supposed to do, what his biology is made to do, and he's good at it. But Buck's always had a dream that's so farfetched for a sub that he never dares to even voice it.
When Christopher asks to take a cooking class for children, the two men's worlds collide. Eddie needs to learn to let go, and Buck needs to learn that there's more to life than just tradition and expectations. And maybe, just maybe, they can find happiness along the way.
Tethers by @allyourfandomsbelongtous (121k, E, WIP) - mechanic!Eddie AU
Eddie's spent years trying to find a place to call home with Christopher, hoping that Shannon will come back and then desperately hoping she wouldn't. He thinks he's in the clear when she shows up at his doorstep, demanding they get back together.
Eddie comes up with a foolproof plan: get a fake boyfriend, convince Shannon he's gay, and live happily ever after with his life mostly intact and Christopher safe and happy. Get rid of fake boyfriend when Shannon gives up, and life can resume as normal.
Enter Buck, and the plan goes to hell in a handbasket.
118 Entertainment by Araloth (37k, E, WIP) - porn star AU
118 Entertainment- One of the preimer adult entertainment companies in the country, and Buck's next big break. Buck's had his own website for awhile, shooting videos in his garage, but this is the big time. Follow Buck as he steps into the world of the 118, and all the new challenges and complications that will come with his new job.
nice to meet ya by @getbvcked (4k, T) - wedding boutique worker!Buck
A cracky AU where Buck works in a wedding dress boutique and Eddie is the hot fiancé...or isssssss he?
Distance and Loneliness are Synonyms by @imadethisforbuddie (27k, E) - actor!Buck AU
Five years ago, Buck made it big as he got a part in the breakout hit called "Station 118". He has everything he could ever ask for, but at the end of the day, he still feels so lonely. He decides it's finally time to go back to his small town where he's left everything behind.
Five years ago, Eddie's best friend tells him that he's leaving. Eddie understands that it's for the best, so he lets him go only to realize that he was in love with him this whole time. It doesn't matter though because Eddie's happy now, though constantly tired from working two jobs, he's built a little life for him and Christopher. It all comes crashing down when he sees Buck again, and everything changes, but his feelings remain the same.
-
TLDR: A painful AU Christmas fic with a happy ending because we need more of those in this fandom. :)
dancing under red skies by dayswithout (series, 45k) - soulmate AU
Buck hates Eddie Diaz on sight.
aka, a soulmate au.
To Be Whole by mansikka (3k, T) - soulmate AU
They say that when you and your soulmate are ready to meet, whatever they write on their skin will appear on yours, and vice versa. Which Buck thinks is bullshit. Right up until words start appearing on his arm.
I Had A Dream About A Burning House by @evanbuckley-diaz (7k, T) - soulmate AU
When you’re little, its the typical monsters under the bed. In high school, there are nightmares about disappointing people by not becoming all that they want you to be.
It all takes a hard left turn when Buck hits college.
Librarian AU by lullatone (series, 29k) - librarian!Buck
At meet the teachers night, Eddie gets more than in bargained for with meeting Christopher’s new school librarian.
love is (a bright idea) by chocobos (3k, NR) - librarian!Buck
"Wow. You weren't kidding about being wild for dinosaurs, huh?" Buck asks.
He giggles again. “I’m not the kind of kid who jokes about dinosaurs, Buck,” the kid replies, with far too much conviction for a child his age. Or relative age, really.
Mr. Buckley’s After Hours Detention by @tk-strand (11k, M) - teacher!Buck
It’s not like Eddie Diaz planned on this. Really, there was no scenario in his mind where he would ever be bringing his son’s teacher a freaking goody basket to class; a homemade goody basket, no less. Then again, Christopher has never had a teacher quite like Evan Buckley.
and my own fic:
for the next time you get lonely (2k, M) - sex shop AU
Buck's sister Maddie owns a sex shop, but occasionally needs a night out. Good thing Buck's ready to step in and man the store.
But he definitely isn't prepared for a flirtatious stranger to come in and fluster him completely with his brown eyes and devastating smile.
Don’t forget to leave comments/kudos for all these amazing authors!!!
#buddie#buddie fic#fic rec#911 on fox#buddie AU#eventually the gangster au will be finished and then it can go on to this list#*side eyes self*#anon#asks
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sad or hurt feelings at a party for the kissing prompts. 🥰 give me all the angst!
I have definitely given you all the angst with this one! This got to be super long too, but here we go! It’s on AO3 as well (link). Leave me Kudos and Comments there!
Prompt: sad or hurt feelings at a party (kissing prompts)
Word Count: 7381
The last people Evan Buckley thought he’d run into on this call, were his parents.
The call had been a relatively easy one, just a child who’d somehow gotten his foot stuck between the rungs of a chair, which had led to quite a few people tripping over him. After dealing with the sprained joints and aching muscles, Buck finally took a step back to just look around at the rich people parade. The location was at an upscale ballroom filled to the brim with business magnates, investors, other stockholders and lingering employees. Tables filled with tiny appetizers were backed up against the wall, many people hesitantly picking one of the delicacies up.
Hors d'oeuvres if Buck remembered correctly.
Just as Eddie and him brought up the rear, joking about the ridiculousness of children sticking limbs wherever they thought they could fit them, a voice calling out behind him stopped him in his tracks.
“Is this what you ran away to do?”
That voice couldn’t be mistaken. Buck’s spine went ramrod straight as he registered his father’s voice for the first time in years. He knew that his mother would be hovering right near him, and as he turned around slowly, his suspicions were confirmed.
His mother’s eyes looked indifferent after seeing her son for the first time in years, nimble fingers loosely grasping one of those mini champagne flutes. His father, on the other hand, looked livid. Well, as livid as he could look in public.
The expression reminded him of all those events he’d attended when he was younger, and his father was trying to remain cool and collected after Buck had pissed him off. A forced smile, a burning fire of anger in his eyes, a tighter-than-normal grip on Buck’s arm. It would always mean that Buck was to be punished when they got home. Even a near-decade later, he still couldn’t figure out what it was that he had done to make his father so angry, but that look still made him feel so small and insignificant.
“Yeah. Yeah it is.” Buck hated the way his voice shook slightly, hated the tremble in his hands as he stood in front of the man who had turned his life into a living hell.
Even after all this time away from it all, he wasn’t being able to work past the issues his parents had left him with. The hurt buried itself so deep inside Buck that he didn't know who he was without it anymore.
In truth, Buck had run away to break free from it all. He didn’t want that life for himself, a life full of pure abuse and virtually no loving touch. He’d tried a million different jobs and things during his undergraduate before he found his fit at the LAFD. There was no way Buck would let his parents ruin this for him, but in a way, he knew they already had.
Briefly, he registered the unmistakable touch of Eddie’s fingers against the small of his back and was grateful that his best friend was trying to ground him. He hadn’t shared anything about his parents with anyone, not even Maddie, but Eddie knew him far too well. Buck knew he could immediately sense the cloaking tension and was trying his best to work through the entire thing without alerting the rest of the 118.
“That’s no way to greet your mother after all this time. Come give me a hug, Evan.” His mom said in a faux-sweet voice. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked around to see that they had garnered a few curious eyes. Clenching his jaw to not cause a scene, he stepped forward and bent to hug his mom.
“There’s a party tonight from the Los Angeles Business Convention, and I expect you to be there.” Buck frowned before catching himself a second too late. As his father stepped forward, Buck flinched just like he used to as a child, unconsciously stepping back against Eddie’s chest. To the older man’s credit, he didn’t move an inch, letting Buck pull strength from his solid form.
“I have plans tonight.” The lie slipped off his tongue easily, but just as he expected, his father shrugged.
“Cancel them. You haven’t seen us in 8 years, I think you can spare an evening for us. Isn’t that right?” It was a threat disguised as a command.
Buck dipped his head low, not meeting his father’s eyes. “Yes, sir.” Just as he made a move to turn and leave, his father stopped him with a question that had his blood running cold.
“Have you seen Maddie? I haven’t talked to her in a while either.” Buck knew that there was no way he was letting his father know that Maddie was in LA as well.
“I haven’t met, seen or talked to her since she left with Doug.” He prayed that nothing on Eddie’s face would give his lie away. His father gave a satisfied smile. Buck knew how much he liked Doug. Probably because the two of them were cut from the same cloth, both abusers. In Doug’s case, there had been no child to take his anger out on, thankfully; instead he took it out on his wife. In Richard Buckley’s case, it was always Buck who faced the brunt. For not being strong enough, for not getting the best grade, for not being able to do things right, for just not being enough.
“Well, Doug always was the son I wanted. So kind and hardworking, and he takes such good care of your sister too.” For a few moments, all Buck saw was red. He wanted to scream at his father that Doug had destroyed so many lives, that he wasn’t kind or hardworking and he sure as hell didn’t take care of Maddie. Not to mention he was dead.
He’d destroyed Maddie completely, enough that she was terrified of holidays, terrified of taking a chance with a man that would damn well treat her the way she deserved to be. She lived in constant horror and guilt at having killed a man she once had loved. He’d left Chim in the dust; left him searching for a way to fight his way back to Maddie, even when he himself was standing on rocky ground. He’d destroyed every bit of Buck who had resented Maddie for abandoning him with the two people that she knew he would never feel safe, destroyed every part of Buck that wanted to protect Maddie the best he could.
A grip around his wrist brought him back to where they were standing. Eddie’s weight was reassuring next to him, and he turned his head to look at his best friend. Buck hadn’t realized he’d curled his hands up tightly, a murderous expression on his face.
Thankfully, Bobby radioed in, the buzz of both Eddie’s and Buck’s radios snapping him out of a stupor. “Buckley, Diaz, get in the truck.”
Buck let out a whoosh of air before nodding at Eddie, relaxing just a smidgen.
“Let’s go, Buck.” Eddie’s voice was unwavering as he turned back to look at Buck’s father. He nodded a single goodbye to both parents before pulling Buck behind him. “Bobby’s waiting.”
“You had better come tonight. We’ll wait on you.”
Buck took the card his father held out to him and stiffly gave his parents one last hug before he turned and walked away, his uniform suddenly too tight for him and his father’s words ringing in his ears.
Back and forth. Back and forth. Sit down. Bounce leg. Stand up. Back and forth. Back and forth.
Buck paced barefoot in the tiny bunk room, repeating the routine with no idea what to do next. The cold tile always managed to help him break free from the lingering anxiety, but it wasn’t doing anything today. He rubbed his chest absentmindedly as the room got smaller and tighter around him. It was getting harder and harder to breathe with the weight on his lungs and the uniform wasn’t helping.
He needed something.
He needed his safety blanket.
He needed Eddie.
Throwing open the door, Buck was met with Eddie’s form leaning against the wall. Almost as if he’d known that Buck would want him close. Buck locked eyes with him, not knowing how to make his voice ask what he wanted from him, his mouth opening and closing several times in an attempt to say something.
But this was Eddie. Eddie always knew what he needed.
Backing Buck into the room, Eddie locked the door behind them and turned around to look at his best friend’s vulnerable form. Buck was practically vibrating with his anxiety and panic, and Eddie needed to calm him down before this turned into a full-fledged panic attack.
Settling Buck down on the bed, he knelt in front of him to push Buck’s head down to his knees. “Breathe with me, cariño. In and out.” He modeled the breathing pattern, having Buck do the same. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
The two men repeated this pattern until Buck lifted his head up to look at Eddie with teary eyes. The sight of the younger man looking so vulnerable and broken tore at Eddie, punched the breath out of him, and for a very long moment, he envisioned knocking Buck’s father onto his ass.
He’d noticed Buck recoil as his father came near, seen how straight and tight his posture had become as soon as the voice registered. Even army men didn’t stand with such a perfect posture, but the way Buck had closed up immediately filled in a lot of blanks about the man.
“Buck.” Eddie said lowly, placing his hands palm-first on Buck’s thighs. “Just focus on the weight of my hands, okay?” Eddie pressed down a little, watching as Buck’s eyes snapped open to zero in on where Eddie was touching him.
“I hate him so much. I hate that he does this to me.” Buck whispered, his voice weak. Eddie stayed silent, rubbing circles on Buck’s inner thighs with his thumbs. He knew that all Buck needed was time to open up.
“He was never the father you are, never ideal. He used to hit me a lot.” Eddie felt a familiar rage stir up inside of him but kept his expression blank as he listened to Buck’s emotionless voice. “It was never enough, you know? No matter what I did, there was always something better I could’ve done. I wasn’t enough for anything. Still aren’t.”
“He’s the CEO of a very big company, and he wanted me to go into law. I didn’t want to, I was so interested in medicine at the time, enough that I was sure I could’ve become a doctor, just like Maddie had become a nurse.” Buck laced their fingers together as if to reassure himself that Eddie was still there. It was an intimate gesture, pushing the two men over a line they’d been skirting around.
“I ran away after I sent my college applications in and received their acceptance letters. I secretly sent one to UCLA too, because I was so prepared to get out of that hell and go as far as I could. But when the letter came in, my father saw it before I did. That night, he thrashed me so hard, Eds. Hands, belts, fists, you name it.” Buck closed his eyes, probably going back into the memory. Eddie squeezed his hand, prompting him to open his eyes and stay with him, even as his rage escalated. “I remember stumbling around in my bathroom, looking for first aid supplies and being grateful that Maddie had left, just so she wouldn’t have to see her little brother like that.”
“Buck.” Eddie began. Buck shushed him with one trembling hand on his shoulder, mirroring Eddie from all those weeks ago.
“There’s no one in this world I trust with me more than you.” The younger man cracked a tiny smile as he threw Eddie’s words back at him. Eddie fell silent, warmth burning his chest as he mirrored Buck’s soft smile with a wider one.
The smile dropped as Buck continued. “The envelope hadn’t even been opened. It was still intact when I finally managed to get my hands on it. I snuck it into my room and opened it to find an acceptance letter and a full ride. Someone had definitely been looking out for me.” Eddie’s eyes shot up at that. Buck never mentioned anything about UCLA, much less a full ride.
“I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I gathered up what little I needed, plus the money I’d been saving for years and got out. Somehow, I managed a ticket to LA and I started my freshman year at UCLA as a Biology major. Along the way, I managed to get a certificate in fire science as well, before I ended up at the LAFD. Those were some of my best times, because I was as free as I could be under the circumstances. It was the first time in years that I would go three days without a new bruise. But my father haunted me at every turn.”
“This was the first time I’ve seen him since I ran away, and I’m still struggling Eddie.” Buck closed his eyes as if in pain, and Eddie’s heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly. He gently tugged one hand free to bring it to Buck’s uniform shirt, unbuttoning the material Buck had been pulling at ever since they’d gotten in the truck.
“I’ve got you.” He whispered soothingly as he opened the shirt completely, letting it fall open on Buck’s sides. His muscles started to cramp up from sitting in an awkward position for so long. As he shifted on the heels of his feet, Buck pulled him up to the edge of the bunk.
“Will you-” Buck hesitated, avoiding eye contact with him. “Will you lay down with me?”
Eddie smiled and toed off his shoes. He slid into the bunk first, with Buck pushing him further back on the bed. Thankfully, the room was private and there was only one bed anyway.
Wrapping an arm around the taller man, Eddie pulled Buck back into his chest and smiled as the man instinctively curled up into his side. Buck turned to face him and rested his head in the crook of Eddie’s arm and torso so he could peer up at Eddie.
“I can’t do this without you, Eds.” The quiet admission ripped a hole through him.
“You don’t have to, querido. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.” Eddie answered immediately, leaning forward to press his forehead against Buck’s. A tear slipped out of Buck’s eye at the contact, and he tightened his grip on Eddie just that little bit more.
To anyone else, this would look suspiciously like two lovers locked in a moment, and for a fleeting second, Eddie let himself believe it too.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away with the lawsuit, and I’m sorry I took a step that meant going away from my family.” Eddie reeled back at Buck’s exhausted tone. The lawsuit had been so long ago, he had no idea Buck was still beating himself up about it, especially considering how many times they’d talked about it. Especially after how many times Eddie and Christopher had reassured them that it wasn’t his fault, and they didn’t blame him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you two.”
Eddie’s blood turned cold as he turned to look down at the man in his arms, a rebuke on his tongue. But Buck was already snoring softly against Eddie’s side before he could say that Buck had always been more than enough.
The words stayed with him as he held onto Buck tightly. Sleep was nowhere near him as he turned the past few weeks and the events of today over in his mind. The words Buck had uttered just before falling asleep were as familiar to Eddie as the back of his hand, but it’d been his son and best friend to show him how important Eddie was to them. When had Eddie and Christopher stopped letting Buck know the same thing?
Eddie was not a get-attached type of guy, but with Buck, all his rules had flown straight out the window the minute the man started peacocking around on Eddie’s first day. Seeing Buck call up Bobby to let them know about Christopher coming to the station only sealed the deal; Eddie found himself head over heels for the younger man before he even knew what was going on.
The tsunami had definitely set them apart, but Eddie had been under the impression that they’d bridged it; in fact, they ended up closer than they had been before. Buck and Christopher spent weeks together learning how to not fear water, and while Christopher had pretty much fought his apprehensiveness around water, Eddie did still catch Buck flinching or shying away from the sounds of rain or running water. They’d stayed up nights together, the three of them, trying to get past the nightmares of losing one another, or in Eddie’s case, both of the boys who held his heart.
And then the lawsuit happened. Not being able to talk to Buck had destroyed the last of his patience, and suddenly, he didn’t know where to turn. He and Christopher had lost their footing without the third member of their family, and if Eddie was being completely honest with himself, it was coming to the realization that Buck was integral to the Diaz boys that hit him the hardest; it wasn’t just the Diaz family, they were very proudly the Buckley-Diaz’s.
Even if they hadn’t talked about it yet.
Eddie’s thoughts shifted to Buck’s dad and how set in stone he was. He couldn’t get how small Buck looked in front of him out of his mind. Buck always carried himself with so much confidence that it was disconcerting to see him shrink into himself. He could still feel the tremor in Buck’s body from where he’d backed into him. Eddie never wanted to see Buck like that ever again; he deserved to be open and laughing the entire time.
He decided he would tell Buck about it tonight. He would tell Buck everything.
Buck stirred awake, feeling hotter than normal before he realized that he was locked in Eddie’s arms. The small bunk didn’t give them much room to move so the entire line of his body was pressed up against Eddie’s.
Tilting his head, he smiled up at the sleeping man. Eddie’s mouth was slightly open, warm gusts of air ruffling Buck’s hair. His grip around Buck was tight, even while asleep. Buck’s chest warmed with the emotions he felt for this man.
He took a few moments to recollect how they ended up in this precarious position, the bliss of waking up in Eddie’s arms fading to a panic about tonight’s event.
“I can hear you thinking over there.” Eddie mumbled sleepily, pulling Buck tighter against him, if possible. The movement felt so natural that Buck couldn’t help but take a calming breath of Eddie’s clean scent. “Don’t do it too hard, or you’ll hurt yourself.”
“Funny.” Buck muttered, making a move to get up. It was hard to get out of that cocoon of warmth, but he managed it. Swinging his legs over the bed, Buck just sat there for a moment, the tremble returning to his hands.
Eddie’s tan hand came around to grasp his pale one, squeezing it tightly as if he could stop the shaking. “Why don’t you come over to get ready? Chris is with my Tía today.”
Under normal circumstances, Buck would’ve told Eddie that he didn’t need to come with him. But this was his father, and Eddie had always been the one to anchor him. It was Eddie who brought Buck back from the edge tonight, and he had no doubt that with his partner by his side, he could get through these three hours.
Taking a deep breath, Buck nodded at Eddie, still not being able to look the man in the eye as he straightened his clothing.
“I’ve got your back, okay?” Eddie’s soft reply came just as Buck was leaving. He paused and looked over his shoulder at his best friend lying on his side, peering up at Buck with a reassuring grin. Buck felt a rush of love for Eddie tighten his throat, and he couldn’t resist giving him a genuine smile.
“I know. Thank you.”
“Awesome. Now get out.” Eddie settled back down and turned to sleep. Buck looked at his back for a bit, unsure of what he’d done to deserve him. “Stop staring at my ass, and go talk to Bobby. He was worried about you.”
“It’s a mighty fine ass if I do say so myself.” Buck teased lightly, laughing at Eddie’s grumbling as he left. He felt marginally like himself as he climbed the stairs to go find Bobby.
As expected, Bobby was whipping something up in the kitchen. He must’ve heard Buck’s footsteps because he spoke without turning around.
“Sleep well?” Bobby came around to the table with a plate of food. It wasn’t anything too heavy, just chicken noodle soup and some croutons. Buck stared at the plate, too raw from his encounter with his biological parents to receive the care from the man who he’d always regarded as a father figure.
“Yeah, I did. Thanks.” Buck said quietly, not sure he’d be able to manage a louder sentence without crying.
As he tried sipping the soup without feeling like throwing up, he sensed Bobby’s eyes on him. Setting the spoon down, he turned to look at his captain only to be taken aback by the fond look on his face.
“Buck, you know that family is what we make of it, right?” Bobby said, passing him the salt with a teasing glint. Buck smiled at the gesture before concentrating on what Bobby was trying to say.
“I’m not sure how much weight this will have, kid, but I’m willing to try anyway.” Bobby took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m so proud of you, kiddo. I know I was tough on you when you came in, but you’ve always proven yourself to be selfless and determined to go after what you wanted. And all that ever matters in the grand scheme of things is the family you make for yourself.” Buck was enraptured by every genuine word Bobby said, feeling his face frozen in a shocked expression.
Bobby paused before choosing to continue. “There’s a saying, ‘blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’ All that means is that the bonds we form ourselves are stronger ties than those we form by default. You’re part of this 118 family, Evan, but I think even you know that you’re such a great part of the Diaz family as well. So when you think you’re alone, try to remember that.” Bobby didn’t use Buck’s first name, pretty much ever. Having it spoken in a gentle, fatherly tone had him bowing his head as tears fell from his eyes. Bobby cocked his head towards where they could hear Hen and Chim arguing heatedly about something random, smirking as he did so. “We may be insane but we love you and we’re here for you.”
“Bobby, I…” Before he could finish the sentence, Bobby had folded him into a hug. Buck finally broke completely, releasing gasping breaths into his captain’s chest. When he felt like he’d calmed down some, he pulled away and thanked him for the kind words, slightly embarrassed by his breakdown. “You’ve always been the first man I’ve looked up to, and I don’t think that will ever change.”
“I know, kid, and I appreciate you everyday. Now eat your food before your shift ends.” Bobby smiled at the words, letting a teasing lilt take over his tone as he stood up. He clapped Buck on the shoulder before going downstairs to where Hen and Chim were cleaning the ambulance.
Buck quickly finished his food before excusing himself and going back to the bunk room where him and Eddie had just been prior. He opened the door quietly to see Eddie softly snoring, but peculiarly backed all the way against the wall as if he expected Buck to come back.
The entire thing was so domestic that Buck couldn’t help but chuckle quietly as he crawled back into bed with him. Eddie’s arms near-immediately shot out to pull Buck closer, still asleep. Buck laughed to himself at that before dozing off.
“God damn it!” Buck cursed as he dropped the tie for the twentieth time. He looked in the mirror at Eddie, who stood in the doorway with a crease between his brows, mouth pressed into a thin line.
Silently, he padded into the room and picked up the tie, turning Buck to face him. Buck closed his eyes, trying to calm down. Eddie’s palm on his chest helped bring him back to where they were standing.
Opening them, he found Eddie looking at him with something in his gaze.
“We don’t have to go Buck. You’ve made your own life here, you don’t owe them anything.”
“I know, but I know he won’t leave me alone, even if he’s only in LA for a few days. I don’t want him going looking for Maddie.” Buck had let Maddie know what had happened, omitting the part where the abuse got worse after she left. He hated that their dad was making her look over her shoulder again, but what choice did he have?
Eddie took a deep breath as he straightened the tie. He’d purposely made it as loose as he could so it wasn’t suffocating Buck any further, a gesture that made his heart swoop. He took a quick moment to appreciate how amazing Eddie looked in that suit of his, despite how high-strung his anxiety made him feel.
“I didn’t want this to be the way I confess to you, but there’s no planning the perfect moment.” Eddie admitted softly, his fingers smoothing the tie down. “But whatever happens tonight, just keep in mind that I love you.” Buck’s head snapped up at that, locking eyes with Eddie. He looked calm and collected, but there was still a nervous glint in his expression. “Christopher and I have always thought of you as our home, and we love you so much.”
“I love you guys, too.” Those three words were enough to settle Buck back into his skin. Eddie beamed at him before lacing their fingers together and tugging Buck towards the door.
Buck stayed stiff all the way to the hotel where the event was being held. His grip on Eddie’s hand periodically loosened and tightened. As Eddie drove, he stole glances at Buck who was staring fixedly out the passenger window.
When they arrived, Eddie gave his keys to the valet only to find Buck still sitting in the car. He rounded the truck to his door, pulling it open, pasting a reassuring smile on his face.
“I’ve got you Buck, you can do this.” Eddie saw the moment Buck steeled his resolve as he stepped down from the truck. They walked in to find Buck’s parents waiting on them.
“Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Eddie Diaz.” Buck introduced as he leaned forward to give his mother a hug. Eddie watched Buck’s father carefully, who looked like he was about to have an aneurysm at the introduction. In his mind, he was decking Richard Buckley for all that he had put Buck through, and it was that fantasy that would probably get him through the evening.
“Queer and a wetback? Evan, I expected better of you.” His eyebrows shot up at the double insult, about to say something but Buck looked absolutely enraged as he stepped into his father’s space.
“You will respect the man I love, because he is the best. Apologize to him, right now.” Buck hissed at him, voice low and dangerous. Eddie had never heard Buck sound like that, but damn if it didn’t make him feel hot under the collar, no matter how inappropriate the thought was at the moment. Eddie knew Buck was probably relishing the brief flash of fear that crossed his face, because he sure as hell was. The cold that had frozen him in place at being outright insulted thawed at Buck’s reaction.
Richard shot a quick reluctant apology in Eddie’s direction before looking at Buck with so much anger that Eddie felt the faint tremors in Buck as the fight drained out of him.
Intervening, Buck’s mother held a hand out to Eddie, who shook it with a tight smile. “Patricia Buckley.” She practically purred at him. Eddie snatched his hand back as quickly as he could, stepping slightly into Buck’s side.
He knew that Buck hadn’t missed the blatant flirting. Eddie tangled his fingers with Buck’s as his parents walked in to grab a seat.
“I’m sorry, Eddie, I should’ve realized that they would be like that.” Buck said sadly, lifting their hands and pressing a quick kiss to the back of Eddie’s.
“It’s okay, mi amor. Like I said, it’s just a few hours. Then we can go home and collapse in bed together.” He leaned towards his boyfriend to whisper in his ear. “You’re so hot when you get riled up like that.” Buck cracked a smile at that, looking a little more at ease. Eddie grinned and him and hand-in-hand, they walked inside.
It wasn’t like Buck hated everything about these events. He recognized a few familiar faces and talked to them genuinely, relaxing as they laughed over something. Eddie’s hand remained tight in his. Surprisingly enough, Eddie found an old army friend of his at the same event, and introduced Buck to him. Marcus shared quite a few interesting stories from Eddie’s days as an army medic that had him looking at his boyfriend wildly as they laughed at his expense.
The entire night hadn’t gone bad, with Buck staying as far away from his parents as humanly possible in a space like this. It was right at the end of the event, as they finished up dinner that Buck’s dad decided to drop the bomb.
“You should come back to Pennsylvania with us.” It wasn’t a suggestion. Eddie’s hand clamped down on Buck’s thigh. Buck drew strength from him as he answered his father.
“I have my life here, I’m not going back.” Buck pushed the remainder of his food around in his plate, picking up the wine glass and taking a long swallow.
“It’s time you enter a respectable profession, you could’ve been one of the top lawyers in the country, Evan.” His tone remained patronizing, while his mother nervously looked between father and son, still as silent as ever.
“Just like you? Your father wanted you to go into law too, but you wanted to go into business. As I recall, you did practice law before opening up the business. I’m doing something that makes me happy, why is that so hard for you to accept?” Buck had never spoken to his father like that, too afraid of what would come next to say anything. It was the combination of Eddie’s solid form pressed against him and the copious amounts of wine that had loosened his tongue.
“You’re just like me, Evan. I’m your father.” Buck felt the bile crawl up his throat, and though his mind knew that they’re not the same, his insecurities and fears made him doubt every single day and action of his life. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
It was a vile sentence that stayed with him as he and Eddie left, as Eddie drove back home and parked the car, as they went inside and toed their shoes and socks off. He’d sensed Eddie’s concerned eyes on him for the entire length of the drive as Eddie kept up a one-sided conversation to keep Buck out of his head.
It didn’t work. Buck stumbled into the bathroom of Eddie’s room, feeling suffocated to within an inch of his life and suspiciously like puking.
Which he did. He threw up all of the light dinner he’d had at just how disgusted and nauseous his father’s words made him feel. Eddie was there in an instant, rubbing his back, brushing his hair away from his face and placing a comforting palm on Buck’s clammy forehead. He took the cup Eddie offered, swirling mouthwash around his mouth and spitting the horrible post-vomit taste out into the sink.
Buck’s skin felt like it was crawling with bugs, the words slithering around on him. He just hurt so much. He frantically worked to tear the suit off, his shaking fingers fumbling with the buttons digging into his nails. Eddie came up to him and grabbed him by the wrists, pulling his hands away before Buck hurt himself.
“Buck.” Eddie repeated his name over and over, trying to get his attention. “Buck, Evan please.” That stopped Buck in his tracks, the syllable rolling off Eddie’s tongue to pin him in place. Just as he had in the bunk room, Eddie took over for him, gently but quickly taking the coat and shirt off. Buck climbed straight into the shower stall and switched the water on, never-minding that it was ice cold. His pants soaked through as he furiously rubbed soap into his skin, turning it bright red with how rough he was being.
He didn’t realize he was crying until Eddie stepped into the shower with him, taking the bar of soap away from him. Eddie washed his hair for him and soaped down the exposed skin, his touch erasing whatever Buck had been trying to cleanse himself of. His knees buckled as he fell forward into Eddie’s grip, clutching at the now-wet shirt.
The apple doesn’t far fall from the tree.
The words were unwelcome but they brought Buck to his senses.
“Eddie, Eddie you have got to go. Didn’t you hear Dad? We’re the same, I’ll destroy Chris. I’ll end up like my father, I’ll destroy Christopher. I’m no good for your son, or for you. You can’t love me, you-you have got to go.” Buck rambled rapidly and frantically, weakly pushing at him. Eddie’s heart broke at how insistently Buck was trying to put this wall up between them. He quickly turned the dial on warm before wrapping his arms tightly around the younger man, the two of them sinking to the floor of the shower.
“No, Evan. You are nothing like your father. Nothing at all. You love Christopher so much, tell me you remember that.” Eddie’s tone turned desperate as he tried to hold Buck together as tightly as he could. His anxiety over his father must have been far greater than his apprehensiveness about water, because Buck didn’t even flinch as the water kept pouring down on them. Buck looked absolutely wrecked and miserable, hair plastered against his forehead and his lips moving in a soundless chant.
It took Eddie a moment to realize that Buck kept repeating “no” under his breath over and over again.
He tried another tactic. “Remember when Christopher got sick two weeks ago? I don’t think I was as hectic as you were, rushing around the place to get blankets and pillows and comforters, sitting me down besides him while you made him Maddie’s infamous sick-soup. You picked up all the medicine and made sure he took it on time, and you were there every time you weren’t on shift, not even letting Carla watch him.”
“And last weekend when Chris wanted to go to the zoo, and I ended up having to cover someone else? You didn’t want to break his heart so you were the one that took him. He was so happy when you two came home all decked out in matching penguin costumes that made you guys look so stupidly adorable.”
“Remember when you came with me to his parent-teacher meeting because he talked non-stop about you and his teachers wanted to meet you so bad that they called me to bring you along? And the time you held us together after Shannon died, because I couldn’t look after both myself and Christopher? Bobby gave you that time off without any of us asking because he knew we would need you.”
Eddie kept going, relaying the constant presence of Buck in their lives, but reassuring him that he wasn’t anything like his father. He rocked Buck back and forth under the spray, trying to keep his tone calm. Buck’s slippery skin made it hard to keep hold on him, but Eddie managed it.
Seeing Evan Buckley like this scared him. It made him wonder exactly how many nights the poor man spent alone, trying to fight his demons without anyone in his corner.
“Remember those nights we stayed up late coloring under the blankets with Chris? And the movie nights where he would cuddle into you? How many times Christopher has fallen asleep with his head on your chest and your hand cradling his head, completely nightmare-free because you were there?”
“Do you remember making obscene amounts of popcorn during a sports night only for you and Chris to throw kernels at the TV when something wasn’t going right?” Buck had pressed his face into Eddie’s chest, almost as if he could live there. He clutched at him tighter, the shirt cutting into his skin.
Eddie’s heart clenched as he brought out the last weapon in his arsenal. “Two days ago, Christopher asked me if he could call you papa.”
Eddie felt the moment Buck froze, going completely still. Only the sound of the water pattering against skin and cloth and tile surrounded them. “I told him to ask you what you wanted to be called.”
That unleashed the gates. Buck’s cries turned into sobs, the gasping sound tearing at Eddie as he held his boyfriend through it all. Eddie didn’t realize that he himself had been crying until he tasted salt on his tongue.
The two men stayed on the floor of the shower until the water ran cold. Not wanting either of them to catch a cold, Eddie reached up to shut the water off before gently and carefully pulling Buck into a standing position.
“Let’s go sleep.” He whispered, not trusting his voice to not break. He stepped onto the rug first, peeling off the white dress shirt and dropping it in the sink with a wet plop. The suit pants were next, leaving him in just his underwear until he wrapped a towel around his waist. Toweling his hair somewhat dry, Eddie turned around to find Buck stood there staring at the ground, his eyes unseeing.
“Don’t even think about it.” Eddie said firmly, his hand falling from his hair. He knew that flush on Buck’s face; it was one of shame and embarrassment. “We all need to fall apart to be put back together, and I’m glad I could be here for you today, just like you were when I fell apart.”
“Eddie.” Buck’s voice was hoarse, stripped raw with the force of his cries, but now he was looking at Eddie with so much appreciation and love in his gaze that Eddie couldn’t help but come forward.
He hesitated for a second before pulling Buck out of the shower stall and right in front of him. “Mi vida, I love you.” Placing his hands on Buck’s shoulders, he leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips.
Eddie felt a tear drop from Buck’s eye onto his own cheek before Buck pulled Eddie into him, deepening the kiss. It wasn’t one of those kisses that were frantic and desperate. This one made the world stop around him, and suddenly, it was just the two of them, enclosed in their little bubble.
Buck pulled away, resting his forehead on Eddie’s. “Thank you, Eds.”
That was all that needed to be said. Eddie tilted Buck’s head up to quickly kiss him one more time before he stepped out of the bathroom to grab warm clothes for the two of them.
Throwing his own clothes on, he brought Buck a pair of clean underwear, sweatpants and one of his old long-sleeved sleep shirts. “Here. Drop the wet clothes in the sink, I’ll get to them at some point.”
Before he left, he rubbed a towel through Buck’s hair, messing up the curls and having his hair stand on end. The two men laughed at how ridiculous their hair looked before Eddie left to give Buck a little privacy, setting up shop for bed. As he was replying to a message from Chris saying good night, he heard Buck move into the room behind him, his steps shy and unsure. Tapping out a quick reply from both him and Buck, knowing his son would be over the moon to hear from Buck, he set the phone down and reached out to his boyfriend.
“Come here.” Eddie said gently, already under the covers on the far side of the bed. Buck came forth without a word, slipping under the covers with him. The phone buzzed against the nightstand, and Eddie laughed at the text before showing it to Buck, who finally looked a lot lighter as he read Christopher’s “I love you Bucky, good night!” Buck touched the screen as if he could reach through to Christopher just by that, alternating between looking at the message and Eddie in awe.
“See?” He prodded softly, putting the phone back on the nightstand and lying down on his side next to Buck.
This time, Buck didn’t turn away from Eddie. He turned and snuggled closer until he could bury his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. The position reminded him of how Christopher slept with him after a particularly horrible nightmare.
Eddie chuckled before bringing his own arms up to bring Buck as close as possible. One hand came up to card through his damp hair, while the other smoothed up and down his spine.
“Eres más que suficiente, mi amor. Siempre has significado todo para mí.” Eddie whispered into Buck’s hair.
“What does that mean?” Buck’s breath tickled the sensitive skin of his neck as he asked in a low tone. Eddie angled himself so he could look Buck in the eye.
“You are more than enough, my love. You have always meant everything to me.” He needed Buck to understand that, and the only way he could think to do that was to offer all he had. “You are a wonderful father to our son, Buck. I have no doubts that you are nothing like your father, and I think you know that. We’re just going to have to make you believe it.”
The words were soft, moving into territory they hadn’t outright talked about yet, but they led to Buck pulling himself up to kiss Eddie again. They moved against each other lovingly as hands clutched at every part of the other’s body they could reach. “I love you so much, Eddie, I don’t know what other words to use.”
“Those are enough. You are more than enough.” Eddie whispered against Buck’s lips, his thumb tracing patterns along the side of his face. He felt them curve up into a smile, even with his eyes closed.
Pulling away, Buck settled back into the crook of Eddie’s arm, this time turning to press his face into the space where shoulder met chest. Eddie kept running his fingers up and down the bumps of Buck’s spine, fingers tangling in his hair.
Minute by minute, he felt the tension drain from Buck as the younger man fell asleep. Eddie kept up with his ministrations as he closed his eyes, thankful for the man in his arms.
#prompts#911#911onFOX#buck#evan buckley#evan ‘buck’ buckley#buddie#eddie diaz#ch: eddie diaz#ch: evan buckley#911fic#buddie fic#zee writes#ryan guzman#oliver stark#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#slight ooc#angst#angst with a happy ending#ao3#fluff and angst#hurt/comfort#buckley x diaz#kissing prompts
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I finally got around to seeing the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Spoilers incoming.
Biggest Criticism Robotnik too skinny. Maybe he’ll fatten up on mushrooms.Though the friend I saw it with theorizes he’ll get buff instead from throwing the rock around.
Tom is Best Boy. YEAH, YEAH, POLICE PROPAGANDA, WHATEVER, I LIKE HIM. I love that within minutes of meeting him he was ride or die for Sonic. And Maddie, despite being a little more skeptical of a talking blue hedgehog and her husband now being considered a traitor to the nation, was pretty willing to be like “Ok, I guess this is happening now, let’s go then!” Bitch took vows and she MEANT THEM!
Oh, moving backwards a bit, Sonic being raised by a motherly self-sacrificing owl was kind of an odd choice and honestly I feel like that whole segment didn’t match the feel of the rest of the movie? Also why was he being hunted by echidnas??? Are we gonna see them again??? Are we gonna see Knuckles and is he not gonna be the last of his kind??? Or maybe they wanted Sonic’s power to save their race somehow and since they didn’t get him Knuckles will now be the last? How much lore are we keeping and how much are we making up just for the cinematic universe? Where are the chaos emeralds?! If we don’t get Super Sonic next movie I’ll riot!
A little sad I got spoiled for Tails at the end, that would’ve been such a hype moment if I didn’t know it was coming. But also like, why is he there? I assume looking for Sonic but why? Is it related to the emeralds? His power? Did the owl survive and also take care of Tails and now they need Sonic for something???
Also the little girl giving Sonic his iconic shoes was cute, but why did she have them? Who the fuck wears shoes like that???
Also bit of criticism, though it’s probably not super my place as a white person: Kind of side-eyeing them for making the Nice Black Woman skinny with straight hair, and her hateful loud joke character sister larger and with more natural-looking hair :/ Like... that feels a little off to me. But I don’t feel like it’s my place to try to get more in depth about it.
But back on positives, I feel like this movie does a better job at portraying Sonic as a teenager than any other part of the franchise. He’s just a scared, lonely kid who lost his only parental figure early in life and has been on his own ever since, wanting to be part of society but unable to. Like... messing with the guy who calls him the “Blue Devil” is probably the most social interaction he got. Also kudos to that guy for whipping a fucking chainsaw to defend him lol But yeah, for the first time in... almost ever, Sonic felt like a real kid just doing his best. I guess to be fair other versions of Sonic have often been fighting against Eggman for years, many in actual wars, and that can make someone grow up pretty quick. So like, no real criticism of other portrayals, it was just cool to see him acting more typical of his age for once.
Another random note: The other cop just sitting staring at the phone lines going nuts after that first energy wave knocked out the power was such a fucking mood. “What was the first thing he said to do... relax. *sits back and ignores the phone*
Also kudos to the biker dude who, despite being apparently seriously injured by them (his own fault, but still), refused to give the protags up to the government. He knows what’s up.
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3.5 Ammucchiate
Here’s a masterpost of my thoughts on and reactions to 3.5 Ammucchiate, translated from this post, that I mostly compiled from my tweets from that day, because I had A LOT to say. They’re not properly in chronological order and I’ve added a couple of observations I made in hindsight at the end of the season.
While the girlsquad is singing “Bello e impossibile”, Emma sings along and she touches Marti’s shoulder to catch his attention and communicate to him something like “Hey, hear me out, I’m singing about you” but he’s impassive, then lowers the sunglasses to his eyes and doesn’t smile until his eyes are hidden by the lenses
“Bello e impossibile”, by the way, stops right when Emma says “Io adoro i gay”/”I love gay people”, so right at the beginning of Niccolò’s roast
So let’s talk about Niccolò roasting Emma: first thing he does is retract his arms from around Marti’s and Emma’s shoulders (breaking the united front of the three “disertori del terrazzo” he himself had established earlier), then he makes the most unimpressed face ever, then he quotes an extreme example that forces a polarization (“Tutti gli arabi sono terroristi”/”All Arabs are terrorists”; this is a bit of a fallacy, but it’s also a pretty smart move because it makes Emma sound homophobic by association and forces Marti to side with Nico in the event he needs to choose between the two of them), while he could have chosen as an example of generalising something like “All women are bad at driving”, which would have been closer to Emma’s personal experience, but also closer to a direct attack on her (therefore counterproductive if Martino had to pick sides)
Kudos to Niccolò for studying Greek and Latin rhetoric very well, and philosophy too, YAY FOR LICEO CLASSICO
Martino’s dumbstruck expression when he breaks away from kissing Emma, aka when he hears that Niccolò has gone to them and is talking to them. Marti, by the way, doesn’t smile at all during the rest of the conversation with Niccolò (whereas when he was alone with Emma he smiled most of the time, but with his eyes hidden by the sunglasses, which makes me think they were fake smiles)
(I do believe Marti’s positive reactions during the conversation about Apparat were genuine)
Niccolò Fares sitting on the couch between two people who were making out until a second before without an hint of shame, which means he not only positions himself near Marti and manages to put his arm around Martino’s shoulders, but he also physically separates his boy from his love rival Emma. An inspiration.
DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO USE ELIO of all possible names, in the year of CMBYN (I know the reference here is to Elio Germano, not Pearlman, but my brain only recognizes some types of references)
LATENT HOMOSEXUALITY did he really say that oh God help me
Can we talk about the way Niccolò says “homosexuality” in a normal way, the emphasizes “latent” stressing every syllable?
My heart hurts both because of Nico’s little speech about generalising and because of the way Marti and Emma just leave him alone on the couch
Niccolò looking at his hands, his smile disappearing and the corners of his mouth turning down
During Self Control, Martino doesn’t consider Covitti at all, she tries to get his attention dancing closer, putting her arms around his neck, turning his face to kiss him but 2 seconds later he breaks the kiss and even when she goes for his neck he completely ignores her (p.s.: and we know now that Marti actually likes “neck action” a lot so this is very significant)
This lasts until Niccolò starts watching him, of course, then Marti has to try and make him jealous(?)/show off(?)/follow some kind of weird mating ritual (?)
Martino doesn’t stop watching Niccolò even when he stops watching Marti
10 minutes standing ovation for Rocco Fasano’s eyes 🔥🔥🔥
So that was Martino in the Self Control scene, now let’s talk about Eva. Her expressions! At first she smiles, then she sees Marti with Emma and she stops smiling, she studies them, she notices Marti is distracted, then when they start making out she makes a face and turns away (p.s.: she’s definitely disappointed, because at this point the things she knows are 1) that Marti told her he likes her before the summer 2) he allegedly made her and Gio broke up because of that 3) he has gay porn on his phone 4) he hasn’t approached her and he turned her down just a couple of weeks before with an excuse, so up until now her working theory is that he’s gay, has a thing for Gio, lied to her cause he’s in the closet/in denial; except now? he’s kissing Emma? a girl? who’s not her? She feels confused and betrayed, a feeling that stays with her at least until 7.1 Era per lui)
Then there’s Federica, poor thing, heartbroken and for the completely wrong reason
Eva directing everybody to hide any and all evidence of the party is very me tbh
(except that if it was me and I sent one person out with the trash and he DOESN?T COME BACK AT ALL, I’d kill him? I mean, I appreciate the moment as a fan, but not as my group of friends’ designated problem-solver)
Martino and Emma freezing and not doing anything even after Eva yells “Regà che cazzo mi guardate, dai, dai!” and freaks out
Maddalena and Emma are shown while they do the same thing aka taking the red cloth off the lamps (and this details gives me feels that are entirely unreasonable given that I was about to link this detail to Schopenhauer’s Veil of Maya) (p.s.: I mean, there’s definitely a lot of symbolic meaning I couldn’t quite articulate at the time of the clip, because unveiling = revealing and this is the clip in which the boys reveal their mutual attraction beyond any doubt, plus it’s Emma and Maddi “eliminating” the red light which is so important for Marti and Nico’s relationship, it’s their thing for their most intimate moments)
“Elio” and “Colino” keep silent for 11 second after throwing the trash in the bins, 11 second of fidgeting, 11 second of I’m-looking-I’m-not-looking, 11 seconds of awkwardness, 11 secondi of disaster gay Marti not knowing whether to say something or not
BAM! Niccolò smiles, steals a joke from Emma and Martino starts smiling again for the first time since Nico arrived to the party, since he interrupted Emma to kiss her (and no glasses this time!)
COLINO
God, how sad is this pet name? The allergy pseudo-explanation is even worse, sorry Maddalena, you do you, but Colino is afwul
Martino: ”How long have you been together?” Niccolò: "Since we were 16, but we’ve known each other since middle school. To be honest, we’re more like siblings than anything else. We haven’t fucked in, like, two months.” Let’s analyze this answer: Niccolò gives the information Marti requested, adds a relevant qualifier, then an unnecessary qualifier and another even more unnecessary information (that’s unnecessary when compared with the literal content of the conversation, discounting the context, [which is Niccolò trying to justify his being with Maddalena while undressing Martino with his eyes at every chance to Marti himself])
Marti’s confusion when Nico says “But I can’t break up with her” breaks my hearts, just like the fact that despite everything he genuinely feels bad for Maddalena’s “hypertrichosis”
Seriously, what’s with Niccolò and feet? They’re part of the human body, let them live, or is always mentioning them with a negative connotation some kind of reverse psychology thing to tell the world you’ve got a fetish?
8:53 is the precise time at which Nico cracks and you can see just a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth AND MARTI SEES IT RIGHT AWAY I mean, with all the Nico-watching he does of course he’s carefully catalogued his every tiny change of expression and of course he can’t possibly not notice
So how much time will Martino lose trying to decide whether Niccolò was only joking about the hobbit feet thing, about the whole hypertrichosis thing or about the fact that he can’t break up with Maddalena, too?
That hint of hope and affection you can read in Nico’s eyes while he’s watching Marti right before he starts to move his pinky (thank you Rocco, ily)
My son Niccolò? who can’t stop smiling? when he’s alone with Marti? and who acts so brave??? going for his hand first????
Martino, you’re such a dumbass though, that’s a classic movie move and you look down like an idiot, look at the stars you can’t see instead, look at the street lamp!
Martino’s absolute lack of chill when he looks down towards their hands as sson as Nico touches him kind of makes me homicidal (because it breaks the convention a classic rom com scene), but it makes his answering, reciprocal move even more significant because it’s intentional (p.s.: over time, I actually got a different perspective on this? And I actually completely love it now, cause it makes sense for Marti, it makes sense for a teenager like him and it gives us a feel of disbelief over the whole situation he has to be feeling too cause that shit happens in movies alright, but not in RL, not to people like him, except it’s happening; on top of that, I love LudoBesse for breaking another stereotypical romantic trope and making our boys fucking FEARLESS - I mean, if something like that happened to me I’d be shitting myself and I would ignore it as hard as possible out of fear that if I pointed it out it would scare the other person away, but that’s me)
And then, a herd of mammoths DARES TO INTERRUPT MY CHILDREN you deserve the worst things, folks
Finally, I would just like to state for the record that I’m kind of disappointed Silvia’s 80s party only had 80s music, Eva and Silvia dressed up kind of eighties and a girl in a Madonna-ish outfit, stop
It’s a real shame, I have see no huge bows, no fluo tutus, no legwarmers, no oversized blazers with the big shoulders, no Memphis group style prints on sweatpants, no Puma-Fila-Kappa-Champions N O T H I N G WHERE’S FIORUCCI?
#skam italia#martino rametta#niccolò fares#emma covitti#maddalena (skam italia)#nicotino#skamit#eva brighi#silvia mirabella#federica cacciotti#skamit meta#a. writes#3.5 ammucchiate
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February Post - Valentine’s Day
How would the cast of Gods’ Rising celebrate Valentine’s Day with their loved one? (not necessarily romantic, despite the holiday name)
Main protagonists first, then minor protagonists, then main antagonists, then minor antagonists. Background characters not included.
Jakob Sullivan - Jakob would offer a simple picnic, perhaps not even outside in a park, and would make treats such as chocolate covered strawberries and fruit kebabs and even shape them into cute, though perhaps deformed, hearts. If outdoors, he’d then offer a game of some sport that can be done in the area. If indoors, he’d put on a film to watch and use the picnic blanket as an actual blanket.
Zlatko Jones - Zlatko would buy a bouquet of flowers, trying to pick one out with his loved one’s favourite colours and/or flowers and even put them in a specially bought vase. He would also make a special dinner - most likely his Eban-approved spaghetti and add special ingredients to make it extra special for Valentine’s Day - followed by a dessert, usually an experimental dish to mix it up a bit.
Charlie Parker - Charlie would take her loved one to karaoke and sing their favourite song, and then would force them to join her midway the song or the next song she sings. She would also buy matching customised shirts for them, or at least something more obvious than a bracelet unless she doesn’t have enough money - then she’ll make them a bracelet using their favourite colours of threads.
Alex Wilson - Alex would take his loved one to a place he loves, whether because it’s secluded, full of good memories or beautiful. He would tell them stories about the place, about his family, his childhood, anything that came to mind. Then he’d tell them how much they mean to him. How happy he is they’re in his life. He’ll make sure they never forget it, but he dedicates Valentine’s Day to this alone.
Kenna Collier - Kenna will meticulously plan the entire day, making sure she has enough money for anything that involves buying things, choosing the best outfit, making sure whatever she buys is at its best - she plans everything. Of course, she cannot plan spontaneity but will (albeit reluctantly) take it all in her stride - she just loves being around her loved one, even if her plans don’t go quite go to... plan.
Klara Lullay - Klara doesn’t show her sorcery to just anyone, you know, so when she uses it to make a special night even more magical for her loved one, you know that she trusts and even admires them. As for what that night actually holds, she’ll cook with them, perhaps even a bit of a food fight, and eat the concoction too with them as well while binge-watching anything they want to, shows or films.
Eban Jones - Eban would enjoy a walk with his loved one. Any time he can get away from his racist town, he’ll take, but Valentine’s Day is special because, when he was younger, his mother and brother would take him on this special hike to a beautiful view every Valentine’s Day. There’s surely not single a better place to show his loved one - a family tradition - that will show that they’re part of the Jones family.
Grace Smith - Grace will take her loved one to the cinema. She’ll sneak in their favourite snacks but still buy the cinema popcorn, as big as she can afford, as well ice cream, if they have it and she has enough. As well as saving up, she’ll beg and plead her dad to give her more money and probably ask her twin brother too. Whatever they watch, probably something easy to make fun of, she’ll enjoy it with them.
Kai Smith - Kai loves simple stuff that is cheap or even free. He’d love just to hang out... but he’d especially love to stargaze with his loved one. Usually the weather is terrible though, so he doesn’t often get to. If he can't, he’ll just sit up by a cliff and look out at the view with his loved one. If he has enough money, he’ll buy ice cream - Ben and Jerry’s, duh - and a bunch of cans of Coke to share, whatever they do.
Maddie Eyighes - Maddie would rather go on a jog with her loved one or go cycling or swimming or literally anything else that keeps her active and out of her foster family’s house; she’d be grateful for the excuse to leave! She’d take her loved one down her favourite routes, whether it’s because of special memories or beautiful sights or because it’s longer and she wants as much time as she can get with them.
Nastasia Lavisco - Nastasia isn’t into affection or gifts. She’d rather give something that matters to her loved one, something she believes they can use. This usually means survival training, something she thinks everyone should have but only Dark Worldians truly need. This may come in form of building shelter, learning how to withstand pain, stitch up injuries. She actually taught everything to Aidan.
Aidan Lavisco - Aidan would try to be as unique as possible. He wants to make a impression, after all, so he’d pay attention to the desires of his loved one. They want to go ice-skating? He’ll take them ice-skating. They want a dinner? He’ll make them what he can. They want to go stargazing? Hell, he’ll take them stargazing. He’ll try to be the best he can be for his loved one - they’re his loved one for a reason.
Valeriya Jones - Valeriya would show that she trusts her loved one by letting them be around her as she works and perhaps even help. She’s not very romantic, preferring conversations, deep talks and working on projects together over big dramatic shows of affection, but she’ll certainly take the day to show them her appreciation by using her time to make a treasured, one of a kind present for them.
Kyle Smith - Kyle doesn’t see himself as having any particular talents but, if it’s a romantic loved one, he’ll write a song or poem to perform for them; he’s also a sucker for holding a stereo above his head and playing music. Even if it’s not romantic, he’ll try show how much he knows about them - play their favourite music, watch their favourite film, eat their favourite food, etc.. One thing is guaranteed - dad dancing.
Tyler Brae - Tyler much prefers to be around his family, so his loved one will usually find themself surrounded by the chaotic group; and so, it should be a nice change of pace on Valentine’s Day when Tyler takes them out on a (mostly) completely secluded meal and a small shopping spree. Ice cream will come after, of course, and then a little chat about how the days, weeks and months before have gone.
Shadow - Shadow... well, kudos to his loved one for gaining that status. He’ll make sure to show how much you matter and just why they’re his loved one. Not one for big shows of affection, Shadow would much rather just make small memories. Maybe a drinking game with others he considers important to him or small feasts, or a trip to a local restaurant with an all-you-can-eat-buffet to enjoy the night away.
Mehmun Salton - Mehmun, in all honesty, doesn’t have a lot of experience with appreciation, whether giving or receiving it. He’d fret for weeks about what to do and probably only calm down with some guidance from said loved one, so in the end, it’ll really be their decision. If they give no help, he’ll buy a gift and a film that he hopes they’ll enjoy. Maybe even watch the film - but only if the loved one wants to.
Preston Sin - Preston seems like he’d have his shit together for Valentine’s Day but, alas, he does not. He would offers beautiful flowers and then panic, worrying if they give off sexual, or at the very least romantic, intent, especially if the loved one receiving flowers is not so romantically. He’ll take them out on a shopping spree and would definitely make an outfit for them out of whatever they bought.
Maggie Snare - Maggie seems to be able to read her loved ones’ minds. Well, not quite, but she knows that flowers, chocolate covered strawberries and a trip out (to a shopping centre or a bar or a club) tend to go a long way. Sure, she’ll give gifts that won’t see the next sunrise but Maggie knows that those blended perfectly with memories that’ll last a lifetime and longer will certainly make for a fun time.
Ezekiel Fortunato - Ezekiel may seem to be sex-and-romance-oriented; while he is and may seem to prioritise them, he is also just as fond of familial and platonic relationships. If faced with a loved one who cannot be given gifts that could be perceived as romantic, he will joke that 'him being there' is the reward before giving them something like a homemade item of jewellery or a scrapbook - something very Ezekiel.
Luke Fortunato - Luke is an avid believer that a picnic in a beautiful location is just as good as any material item. He will make small versions of favourite meals of his loved one for the picnic and bring all sorts of other goods to appreciate. Once they've used the sights as much as possible, he'll drive them along a long, scenic route to a store and buy the two of them ice cream to eat as they drive home - well, Luke will have to wait.
Kiyoshi Kornai - Kiyoshi, for the most part, isn't used to affection - giving or receiving. So when the holiday comes along, all she can offer is freedom. She knows how liberating it can be to be outside, unconstrained by societal norms, the claustrophobic buildings and people's expectations, so she'll take them as far away from the world as she can. Perhaps a drive along the beach or swim in the sea will suffice.
Amber Miller - Amber will trash talk the holiday every other day but the day itself? Will aggressively go all out as much she can, if it's affordable or possible. She'll definitely want to show her appreciation for her loved one. She'd achieve this by meeting them in town and going shopping, buying food and drinks and sightseeing. She'd document the entire day in pictures and look at them whenever she's sad.
Johnny Miller - Johnny will be too nervous to go all out for their loved one. They'll organise a meet-up but won't go as far as their twin. A cinema trip to watch a bad film and then to a coffee shop for a good coffee and a long chat. They'll happily talk about anything, whether it's a sweet, simple topic about a cute dog or favourite cat breeds or something more serious like politics or the news, and will just be happy for the company.
Damien Roth - Damien does not think he has a loved one. Most of the time, anyone at his side as an ally is a means to an end - a vessel, a vessel turned soldier or someone he has made a deal with to get his way. Most 'loved ones' are pawns, but he understands that bribery and behaviour training may be necessary. So he will pay attention and reward allies, especially on this holiday, and customise their reward.
Ayla - Ayla knows she, despite best efforts, is in a vulnerable place - as a tyrant, she wears a target on her back with arrogance but also knows that if she treats her guards and servants well, they will be conflicted and unlikely to listen to her enemies, let alone join them. She will give clothes and accessories as materialistic gifts amongst wealthy food and luxuries. They may not be loved ones, but she'll let them think they are.
Loki Lullay - Loki has not had a loved one for a while, as he gave no reason for them to stay. In his saner days, and even for a short while after, he cared a lot more. He would teach his loved one to sing or play his mother's guitar, giving tips and demonstrating what to do next, indulging his loved one in the Lullay history of music and song. But those days are long gone along with his mind and any thoughts unfocused on revenge.
Malcolm Gull - Malcolm is not a callous man, though now there are few he truly cherishes outside his group of Magic Hunters. He’ll treat them to a morning of hunting and then an afternoon of relaxation - eating by a fire, singing songs and sharing campfire stories, whether it's real or fiction (when you've nearly abandoned civilised life to kill sorcerers, it's harder to tell). An evening will go similarly, but with lots more booze!
Nico Angel - Nico no longer trusts loved ones, but he also understands that what made him not trust them was his fault. If he was still in contact with his former loved ones, on Valentine’s Day he would treat them well. He would show them he cared by taking them on an adventure, their own personal little trip into the unknown and explore with them. But now, he is alone. He has no loved ones to explore the world with.
Davey Sullivan - Davey has a rather warped sense of love. He doesn't conform to conventions because no such conventions were established to him in his sheltered, controlled childhood and life. He expresses love through a similar control, which may cause belief that he doesn't trust his loved ones. It's true. He does not trust them to make their own decisions in life, because he was never trusted to make his own.
Aerron Yelad - Aerron grew up with two types of love - breaking love and beneficial love. But he has been welcomed into a new love - love itself. On this day, he will try to give back the love he has been given back. He will make small but meaningful presents that reflect who they are to be gifted to in a way, and they will also be given to those who have given him a bad love. It's fair, after all, to at least try.
#gods' rising book series#gods' rising#gods rising#gods rising book series#gr#g'r#valentines#valentine#valentine's day#valentine's gift#valentine's event#february#february 2019#writing blog#writing community#writing#writers#writeblr#original character#my characters#ocs#my ocs#original#original characters#indie books#book writing#writing books#books#bookblr
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Congratulations Amy!
You have been accepted as your second character, Charlotte “Charlie” Bishop (Maddie Hasson fc). And congrats on receiving 500points for picking up a medical patient! Please send in their account within 24 hours.
OOC INFORMATION
–> Name: Amy
–> Preferred pronouns: She, her
–> Age: 19
–> Time zone: MST
–> Activity:7/10
–> Today’s date: 13th of April, 2017
–> How did you find us? (If tags, please specify) asylum rp
–> Did you read the rules? Please give the TWO passwords: RFP
***please actually read through the material to find the passwords. It will be very obvious to us if you don’t, even if you put down the rights words and we accept it, we will know, and we’ll use it as a judgement of character (meaning you, OOC). Thank you!***
IC INFORMATION
OC Patient
–> Character name: Charlotte Bishop
–> Character age: 15
–> What are they here for: Dilated cardiomyopathy, insomnia, RTS PTSD
–> Medical or Rescue Ward?: Medical Ward
–> Face claim (Please try to keep to the +/- 5 year rule… we don’t want a 29 year old face claim playing a 16 year old!): Maddie Hasson
Born and raised in Detroit, Charlotte -or Charlie- was from a large but loving family, though it didn’t stay that way forever. She was the 3rd of 6 children, 7 if you include Nick, her older brother Ben’s best friend and occasional hookup to her older sister who has lived with them forever. It wasn’t until the youngest, Freddie, was born that things got screwed up, not that it was his fault. Their family already struggled financially but they worked hard together to make it work, so when Charlie’s mom died giving birth to Freddie when Charlotte was 10, it was a huge hit and the family never recovered from that. Their dad especially took it hard, and began to drink. He abused the kids, but they told no one for fear that if they did, they’d be separated. Even with the abuse, at least this way they were together and had each other. The saving grace was their dad often went out to drink, and wouldn’t come home for a while. Aside from when he abused them, he took no notice to them, so when Charlotte started having dizzy spells or trouble breathing, only her older siblings seemed to notice. With a lack of authority and worried about her family, Charlie’s older sister Amber stepped up to help the family. Although Charlie was young she did her best to help, taking odd jobs and getting up early to help her younger siblings Devon, Eliza, and Freddie prepare for the day. Whatever was wrong with her could wait, as she was too concerned with helping her family; there wasn’t time to be sick.
Stuck in the middle and growing up around so many boys, Charlie learned how to watch out for herself. She wasn’t ‘tough’, but she didn’t back down from a fight either. She had to do what was best, even if people disagreed with her. Their family counted on each other, and she’d do anything to help them, but it only got harder as they all grew older. It became especially hard after Nick sexually assaulted Charlotte when she was 12. She didn’t know exactly what was happening, but he said it was okay. He was practically family after all and they cared about each other so if he said it was fine, then it was. Shortly after that started, social services came by on a surprise visit. With their dad awol and drunk, they were placed into foster care temporarily, though this was a bit of a relief for Charlie. Their intake was the first time they’d had a real, proper medical checkup. There, Charlotte was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy. It was not that severe at the time and they treated her as best as they could, with what they had. By the end of the month her family was all back together in their home. Everything seemed okay for a while, but things picked up where they left off as more incidents happened between Charlotte and Nick, but now she was starting to expect it. She lost sleep waiting for whatever he would do and the stress of it all and lack of sleep put unnecessary pressure on her, and her heart.
Things only seemed to get worse when Ben turned 18 and enlisted in the army, stationed far away from his family. With Ben gone and Amber busy, Mark began raping Charlotte, and it took her a while to realize how wrong all of this was. One day, she decided it was time and came at him with a bat, only being stopped when her siblings walked in and called the cops. Her family was shocked to find her like this and wanted to believe Mark was a good person, after all the time he had spent with the family helping them when they were in need, how could he possibly hurt anyone? When the police arrived, Charlotte was taken into custody and sent to juvie. Things started to break apart back home, and when she finally got out everything was too far gone to be fixed. Amber en route to becoming a street drug addict, and the youngest 3 were split up in foster care. She was already a bit older, and now had a history of violence with a stay in juvie on her record… with a medical condition on top of that it was unlikely anyone would want to adopt her. Despite this, she knew there was still hope for her younger siblings. Charlotte was put into foster homes and group homes for a while, all while trying to track down her family, until she finally made a run for it. There were too many conditions in the system, Charlie kept getting in trouble. She needed to be on her own, do what she needed to at her own will. It was hard for a teenage girl… she had to make money to live while also trying to deal with a serious heart condition. She still wasn’t getting much sleep either, usually too worried to close her eyes for too long. Not long after, Charlotte was picked up by police for selling drugs. They thought she was on drugs because of her behavior, but she was exhausted, homeless, and terrified for her life. Charlie was little to no help in the process, but after finally identifying her and seeing her medical history and record, it was determined that she needed help and Serenity House was contacted right away. She’s a good kid at heart, but with a very, very troubling past.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IC Questions (Please write SEVERAL sentences –4 TO 5, MINIMUM EACH. Mandatory for both canon and original characters. Not required for staff.):
Do you know why you’re here at the Serenity House?
Yeah they were cleaning up the streets and found me… Apparently I have too many years left on my clock to be thrown in the trash, but not enough to actually place me with my family. The island of misfit toys here was the perfect solution for everyone, and now they can say they all did a great job at ‘saving my life’ or whatever. Kudos to you guys.
How do you feel about being here? Good, bad, indifferent?
A joke? I don’t understand why I have to be sent to an overrated haunted house in the middle of Idaho? Like seriously all that money and y’all couldn’t afford like a beach or some shit? Thoroughly disappointed, that’s how I feel. 0/10, would not recommend. I just want to know how soon it’ll be until I can leave. I don’t plan on staying long enough to really form an opinion.
What is your biggest fear coming to the House?
That Nick will be there. That they’re going to try to keep me in here. I’m getting out ASAP, I don’t care if I have to pick 40 locks or hop over a razor wire fence with my bare hands, I’ll be runnin off into the sunset in the first week. I don’t have time to be scared. Don’t think, just do.
How do you feel about the patients on other wards? (Medical or Rescued Wards)
…..Is Serenity like a war zone or something? Are we being pitted against each other, medical vs. rescue and it’s just a fight to the death? That would be seriously interesting, but I still don’t understand the point of it. We’re all in here one way or another, we’re just fucked up in different ways I guess. It’s chill. Again, I don’t plan on staying long enough to form some sort of opinion on them.
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4.03 The Four Horsemen
A Reaction: Apologizing for the map upfront. Not as funny or with as good of an analysis aspect as 4.02, but my reactions to kabby will always be prime.
NYKOOOOOO I love him so much. Dang they 40+ on the way.
Lol Abby is either the only sensible one or overly dramatic because she’s the only one who covers her face before approaching.
All the animals are dyinggggg noooooooooo
Hold up. When did Octavia get a kick-ass sholder tat? This is definitely a major step in her assimilation into grounder culture. It’s more than just Indra accepting her now- maybe it’s only trikru at the moment and she gets the tattoo from them, but it’s still a big step from last season when she’s still getting hate from them. Sure she’s always going to get hate for being an outsider, but probs more from killing everybody now. Kudos. It’s rad.
Indra “I’m so proud” Roan one death to save thousands, it’s good politics. Indra has the warrior daughter she’s always wanted, but has it gone too far?
Dr. Squad all with crossed arms. What a posse. So happy for Sachin. His promotion shots on instagram made me even happier.
These like 6 people are all that’s left of Luna’s people… So fish are not friends. Or food.
Yo check out this groovy map of the mid-Atlantic. Here’s the fun part where I waste way too much time trying to pinpoint where these places are using google maps.
[Skip if you don’t have time right now or are just rude]
Polis=Baltimore/ Dc, looks a little above DC based on the Bay. It makes sense for Polis not be in DC because Trikru is. Tondc/ Ton DC was like “Washington DC” on a road sign and Lincoln got his name from the Lincoln memorial, which we get a glimpse of in S1.
Mount Weather= Looks to be around Luray area- which is really interesting to me because the cave/ tunnels would check out. A caving plug: Luray and Grand Caverns have really great features, but they’re dead. Railings and steps and lights have been put in everywhere to make it more accessible for folks, but more importantly to bring in a ton of money. To see Living caves in the valley, my brother is a cool dude who takes his students- and more importantly me- to see neat things without harming the cave like some punk ass bitch yanking stalactites off the ceiling.
Arkadia= Looks to be around Culpeper… but if it was slightly more south (because the map Raven has is shit, but I’ll get to that) I could argue it’s between Charlottesville (!!!) and Culpeper, although more towards Culpeper. Like Orange/Madison counties. Literally no one cares about this but me because that is my homeland. Also TJ, Monroe (the president, not the dead character from this show that I should get back to…), and J Maddy-Mads. Zach-attack (this also works because he was a major general, not just for the rhyme) Is actually the closest to Arkadia- his house is in barboursville which puts him 25 min closer to Culpeper than TJ and Monroe. GW is up by Ton DC. Wilson is southwest of Arkadia. I don’t know/care enough about where Tyler and William Henry Harrison were from and I’m not going to look it up. This history/ geography lesson was brought to you by the Mother of Presidents, and viewers like you. Thank you.
Luna’s Rig= Somewhere off of DE/NJ coast. They might go back there, but otherwise I honestly don’t care where exactly the rig is. Like. Nyko just said that 40 people died on their way to Arkadia and Luna’s like this is all that’s left of my people. Soooooo… sorrynotsorry
Becca’s Island- I struggled figuring out what that said. I’m leaning towards it being a fictional island because the only thing I can think of it being is Sandy Hook. However, there seems to be land in the bay, soooo Sandy Hook would be part of the continental land mass instead of an island. If the picture wasn’t so wonky the only argument would be for Sandy Hook. I believe it’s only listed here because it will become plot relevant later this season when the tech team decided they need to access Becca/ A.L.I.E.’s drone or something to monitor radiation.
Note: The coastlines don’t match up perfectly. At first I was excited they’d taken rising sea levels with climate change into account, but that should make the bay larger and thus the gap between eastern Maryland/ Delaware and DC larger. So some of the Virginia coast looks good, but the east coast is on a passive margin (I took Geology guys can you tell), which means that it’s not colliding into another plate and thus being squished in on itself or mountain building (this is happening in the middle of the Atlantic) like on the U.S. west coast. But at the end of the day, I don’t think they really considered this when creating that map because 1) some areas are larger than they are now (like Long Island is now a peninsula instead of an island), indicating receding seas while 2) some coasts are cut off indicating rising sea levels. Basically. They would have been fine using a regular map from the internet. Not sure why they decided to render this shitty one or what purpose making their own serves. Maybe they don’t have rights to steal from the internet…?
You, the reader are now thinking, “who the fuck cares? That map was visible for under 30 seconds. all we were supposed to recognize is that it’s the VA/DC/MD area. Let’s move this train along I want to hear about things that actually matter.” And to this I say, you are not wrong. Let’s go. This 15 sec clip took me an hour to analyze and I’m not proud.
[Resume reading non-geography post here if you skipped. There were some jokes in there... not good ones]
Bellamy’s face at “choosing who lives or dies is your specialty” Ouch. Clarke can’t get a break. First Jasper, now Raven. Good thing he’s always on her side.
Someone’s taking the rover. My gut thought: is it fucking Jaha? Oh wait. Jasper’s problematic too and would pull that. Nope. Fucking Jaha. Your gut is always right.
Naturally, radical Jaha who went off to find the city of light is not encouraging a trip to go find a doomsday bunker by a religious fanatic. Raven is the skeptic voice of ME. Like hey guys, remember when he did this last time? If it’s not real Clarkiepoo gonna make that list. I like
DOOMSDAY CULT MAN SAYS “there is a way out of the darkness. I can show it to you. You can be saved. Join me…” okokokokokok. Abby stays behind in Arkadia to show them the way out of the darkness. Then she is forced to take the chip and gets the rest of the camp to join her in the CoL. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
DAD AND NATE ON GUARD DUTY TOGETHER. MY HEART. DAD MILLER IS GREAT. I like Miller Sr.
Raven x Abby
Alright. Time to defend mom. Raven’s position of wanting to save the pills- because it’s too late for them to work on Luna’s people- is understandable. Abby’s desire to save people is also understandable. I happen to love Raven x Abby scenes because they’re both so stubborn and both usually have equally strong, but different arguments. Dr. Abby probs should not have told her eldest daughter she’s killing this child. Howeverrrrr my mother, Abby, and even I, with my son VPJB, understand the power guilt has over your children. My son tried to attack a shadow for 45min today so I’m still choosing my battles. Back to the show- the emotion they bring as actors is fantastic. I’d like to pull their history out of the back of your head. Abby and Raven meet because they both have someone who went down in the dropship they desperately want to see. They bond. They trust each other and sass each other and Abby tells Raven to go down without her. Raven tells Clarke how great her mom is at a time when Clarke thinks floating Jake is still 100% her mom’s fault. Raven gets shot, Abby frickin saves her life and she only has one lame leg instead of being paralyzed from the waist down. Kudos Dr. Abby. BUT. Raven hurts, and chronic pain is rough on people, so you’ll lash out. Raven calls Abby out for being a crappy chancellor and doctor. Abby hits her. She’s instantly sorry she lost her temper and they’re distant but not terrible. Despite some heated moments, they’re fam. Abby adopts everyone she sees, and Raven, with only Finn in S1 becomes family. Then Finn dies. Then her mentor Sinclair (who I really really really really really liked and wish got more developing prior to THAT episode [sidenote: I hate when secondary/ tertiary characters get developed just so they the audience feels some emotional investment that turns into pain. Especially within the same episode. Except they’re only there for that one episode to drive another character’s development as in the dying child (Adrian) Luna brought.], so now Abby and her friends are all she has. There’s love there, which doesn’t make talking to each other ok, but I’m confident they’ll forgive each other. It hurts more because of the love.
Murphy steals medicine to help a sick kid. Important because his father got floated for stealing him medicine when he was a sick child, and the medicine ended up not working. Abby knows better than to ask where he got it. She’s broken the law to save people before. Yay Jackson being sweet with this child. I frickin love Nyko too. He’s one cool dude.
Octavia x Indra x Gaia
Mom saves her daughter. Octavia is like oh nooo here let me help you up, my b. Another mother daughter conflict. But this time really related. Indra: My daughter was meant to lead armies. My daughter was meant to lead our people. Me and Gaia: looks like you got that after all. This scene was great. A parent who cannot understand their child. So common and yet this is the best portrayal of that I’ve seen, mainly because it wasn’t “But basketball’s your dream!” “No, Dad. basketball is your dream, not mine!” Octavia comes up with a plan to save the flame and Indra’s daughter. Loyal to Indra over Roan. I love that. Ilian’s sledgehammer was entirely too dramatic. Should have spent the money used on that effect for Raven’s map. I’ve got a bone to pick with Kirk Douglas or Michael Cliett- whomever was in charge of that. Not bitter. Omg Gaia is so sweet and lovely. I love her. I want her to stick around. Don’t let the radiation get her!
Bellamy + Clarke x Jaha
Leadership is lonely, it’s good she has you. You keep her centered. Obviously Jaha sees Clarke as the leader and Bellamy as her sidekick/ compass more than an equal? I feel like they co-lead well Together. Wink. You’ve got it backwards. Nice. But Jaha is giving Bell some questionable advice here- he’s saying stop blaming yourself for the massacre, you were doing what you though was best for your people, and as long as that’s true, you don’t need redemption. Sort of, Jaha. You may think you’re right, but someone is yelling at you that you’re wrong (i.e. Abby x Kane S1 culling, Kane x Boris S3 massacre), so you actually might need some redemption, maybe for your people to accept you, maybe for your soul. Kane goes off in search of redemption and atonement after he realizes the way of life on the Ark doesn’t have to be how life on Earth is. Bellamy, realizes slaughtering a village of non-militant grounders is wrong as he’s taking part in it. That’s why he convinces Pike to let Indra live. Yes, they both think they’re right, but when they realize, even in hindsight how wrong they were, they feel guilty. Jaha on the other hand is very set in this “That’s what I thought at the time and I won’t let the present change how I see my past actions.” He’s much more cold and cognitive than emotional, even with himself. Jaha’s all like, dude get over it, how many people do you have to save before you forgive yourself.
I’d say Jaha has been distant enough in that he’s been off by himself for most of the plot, or at least separated from the core group, to merit his comment on the state of Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship seriously. He has plenty of background with Clarke- his son was her best friend, their families were close pre-S1. Anyone can see Bellarke works well together, but Jaha’s outsider-insightfulness that everyone else may be too close to see (or too close to tell one of them) is that they center each other.
The List
First, can we talk about the Kabby couch parallel? Abby is snoozin at the start of S3 so peacefully and Kane glances over before going back to his sector mapping. ON THAT SAME COUCH is a peacefully sleeping Bellamy for Clarke to glance over at. He makes the list. I wonder if Riley did. Is Clarke reserving spots for grounders too or just sky people/ people in Arkadia? Bellamy gets spot 99. Good. Awe. He writes her name for her. Good job. Bellarke fans are screaming. Now we put it away... Y’all did a bang up job of that. Fold it once and put it in the OPEN CUBBY of the desk? No one will ever find it there. Snooping Jasper and Monty looking for their long lost weed never will. Oh wait.
Funny how we’ve got another group of “100.” It’s always good to remember your roots.
End Thoughts Me: SHE’S A NIGHT BLOOD YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUN TESTS ABBY (and also you could have said “I’d like to run tests” slightly less creepily to a person who’s not the biggest fan of technology.) Abby and Clarke 20 seconds later- yeah there’s another variable here. yeah she a nightblood. Very happy Jackson got so many lines, even if they were tiny and sometimes in the background, he was in the conversation.
Noteworthy Absences and How I Feel About Them
Marcus Kane- I knew it was coming. I’m sure something big is happening with Octavia in the next episode. I thought the balance between Polis’ Octavia x Indra plot was well balanced with the Arkadia and Jaha x Bellarke plots. They were all satisfactorily interesting, a relief after Jaha’s 2B/3A plotlines. Adding a diplomatic Kane plot would be too much. He would have crowded Indra and her daughters’ scenes too. I’m good, but he was missed.
Harper McIntypre- She could have been standing guard with the Millers? Nate and Harper are besties. I like it. But then I want her to develop, so I’d rather her sit this one out and have meaningful airtime in another (or the next) episode.
Bryan- Also could have been on guard with the Millers. I actually would be really interested in seeing Bryan and Sergeant David Miller interact. Then again, He and Nate just had a fight last episode over fundamentally different beliefs, so they need air. In this case I do NOT want to have Miller Sr. interacting with them. He’s already had enough awkward interrupting couple-moments. I think he needed to be absent. There were already three plot lines and Briller drama would have pulled the show in too many directions, as with Kane. I’m cool with that.
Monty Green/ Jasper Jordan- This was a mother-daughter conflict episode with a splash of following Jaha’s whims. They didn’t fit. I’m cool with that. They’re going to find that letter Clarke should have hid in her pillowcase next week.
Echo- I’m bitter. She should have yelled at someone. What a badass.
Riley- Who is this dude. I just looked on IMDb and he’s in 6 episodes. Everyone seems to know him. I need to be part of that.
I felt we needed a refresher on full names…or lack there of...
I have no life and am very lonely. But it’s my own fault. so that’s just a nice explanation of why I have time to do this...
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Headcanon: Sometimes in tight spaces, Max is reminded of what it was like to crawl through the narrow space in the foundation of the church and becomes disoriented.
first of all i cannot believe someone actually read that whole biography SO MANY KUDOS TO YOU BECAUSE THAT TAKES STAMINA. this has to be Maddi
ACCEPTED!!!
She now has mild claustrophobia !!
A related headcanon: she gets turned off when Mitch calls her pet names like Mini-Mouse or any other variation of “mouse,” because Jimmy screamed a joke about her being a RAT IN THE WALLS when he was chasing her after he figured out she was in there.
So locking her in a tight space or calling her a rodent are triggers for her, if anyone wants that ammunition for any reason (👉・∀・)👉
{ 📝 | THE HEADCANON GAME (still accepting)! }
#nina and i plotted so much of max and mitch's relationship out and i need to talk about it okay don't touch me#i am still very invested in that character as an individual and in regards to max#( inbox game responses.)#( headcanons. )
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