#ch: evan buckley

[aaronsinferno]

Need a “Hey handsome” “Hi cutie” exchange between Tommy and Buck in season 8 so bad, man. I need Buck watching Tommy and Maddie bond from a distance and then awkwardly interrupting because he thinks they’re discussing him. They say they weren’t. They were. I need a lot of dry wit/humor from Tommy that most people wouldn’t get but Buck absolutely adores. Buck finds one of Tommy’s hoodies/sweaters left behind in his loft and just claims it. Tommy notices him wearing it once and just smiles to himself. I want Buck wrapping Tommy up in one of the 118’s bizarre hijinks and him just rolling with it. I need them visiting each other’s work places. Buck dropping off containers full of Tommy’s favorite meals. I want Tommy getting into the most mind boggling logic defying completely batsh*t crazy accident known to man and have Buck completely spiral for an entire episode. Only for Tommy to survive and the emotional and psychological trauma binds them together forever because that’s how life works 🫶🏾❤️

[tommysdaddykink]

buck never knew how much he would love being pampered and wooed until tommy came into his life. the first time tommy gave him flowers he forgot how to form words, marveled at them, feeling cherished. he scrambled around his loft looking for something that could hold them. as the days passed and the flowers began to sag and wilt buck would stare at them like a sad puppy. eventually they died and he had to throw them out, and the next day there was tommy with more flowers and a gift and a sweet kiss. maybe buck swooned and started to fall in love.

tommy never knew how much he would love being treated like he was precious, cradled in someone's arms, cuddled in bed, being the little spoon, a treasure. he'd known physical intimacy but not like this, not as the one receiving all of one person's attention, focus and energy. his exes assumed that just because he was bigger, a firefighter, that he always wanted a specific role. buck didn't assume like that, and when he wanted, when he was craving it, buck was always there, able to hold him, pin him, ravish him. the first time buck picked him up and threw him on the bed he saw stars, it would've been embarrassing had buck not kissed him about it, telling tommy he was the cutest thing ever. maybe tommy dragged him back down for another kiss and fell in love just a little bit more.

[quintessenceofdust88]

Life is Changin' Tides, ch. 4 🌊

[Ch. 1]

[Ch. 2]

[Ch. 3]

[Read on AO3]

Sal is exactly where Tommy left him; sitting up on the bed, a pained look on his face as he frantically looks around. "The second he spots Tommy and Vivie, his face is taken over with relief, and Tommy can see how desperately he wishes to get up, but he doesn't. He just grips the sheets, staring at them intensely, his face going from anxious to relieved.

"Vivie!" He exclaims, and Tommy's daughter raises her head so fast that he worries she’ll have whiplash."

-

Everyone reunites. There's a lot of apologizing. There's a little bit of oversharing (it's the painkiller's fault).

When Tommy wished for a guardian angel watching over Genevieve, he didn’t think the universe would take him so literally. Because this man, this Evan? With earnest big blue eyes, blond curls, a pink birthmark that looks almost like a heart against his eyebrow? Yeah, that’s an angel he’s looking at.

He doesn’t have much of a chance to look at him, though, because as soon as Tommy thanks him, the man promptly passes out in front of them.

“Buck!” Captain Nash exclaims in surprise, and extends his arms to support him. His eyes are furrowed in concern, and both Hen and Howie are also fussing over Evan. Tommy has never seen this man before, but it’s clear they all know and care about him.

Thankfully there’s an empty bed close, and Nash lays Evan in it with surprising gentleness, in a way that vaguely reminds Tommy of when he puts Vivie to bed. And speaking of which.

Tommy finally manages to stop hugging Genevieve for long enough that he can take a good look at her. Her beautiful yellow dress, a present from his Nonna, is filthy, covered in grime and dirt (thankfully no blood); her hair is matted and frizzy, escaping out of the pigtails Tommy’s done for her this morning, and she looks pale and exhausted. She’s still the most beautiful sight Tommy has ever laid his eyes upon, and he can’t get enough of looking at her.

“Vivie, oh my God, I was so worried!” He admits, placing a thousand kisses to her wet hair, her sweaty forehead, her flushed cheeks. “Are you okay, baby? Does anything hurt?” Tommy asks gently, checking her face and arms for bruises or cuts, but thankfully, probably thanks to this Evan angel, his baby girl looks perfectly unharmed.

“I’m fine, Daddy! But what happened to Mr. Evan?! Is he gonna be okay?!” She asks agitatedly, her arms firmly wrapped around Tommy’s neck. Her blue eyes are looking scaredly at Evan’s unconscious form, and Tommy rubs her back soothingly. Her grip around his neck tightens, seeking comfort that Tommy is more than happy to provide.

Howie, who looks a thousand times less worried once Hen hooks Evan up to a saline IV and it looks like he’ll be alright, rushes to them when he hears Vivie’s question. He smiles sweetly at her, and she smiles a little back at him.

“Hey, kiddo, don’t you worry about Buck, okay?” He tells her. “If I tell you a secret, do you promise not to tell him? Cause I don’t want his head getting too big.”

That gets a small giggle out of her, and Tommy would hug Howard if he didn’t have an armful of Genevieve. She nods eagerly, and looks curiously at the other man. Frankly, so does Tommy.

“Well, that guy?” He says, pointing at Evan, who still hasn’t woken up, but he’s lying peacefully now, his cheeks starting to get some flush in them. (God, he’s handsome, a treacherous part of Tommy’s brain says, and he promptly tells it to shut up). “Toughest guy I know. He survived a lot of crazy stuff, and he’ll be just fine, I promise.”

“For real?” She asks, and Howie nods as if he’s complete sure of himself.

“Totally for real.” He says, and winks at her. “He’s a survivor, just like your dad Tommy here.”

Tommy feels his cheeks flush, and he smiles gratefully at Howard. Vivie looks between them, curiosity clear in her face.

“You know my Daddy?! How?!” She asks in wonder, and Howie and Tommy smile at each other, but Howie points his hand at him, giving Tommy the chance to explain it to his kid.

“Actually, Vivie, mr. Howard here saved Daddy’s life once, can you believe it? Way before you were born.” He explains, and Vivie gasps.

“So mr. Howard is a hero too?!” She asks, notably impressed, and Howie shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck.

He’s saved from having to answer, though, because there is a man coming towards them with a boy, a bit older than Vivie, secure in his arms. The boy is looking at Evan, with eyes full of worry, and so is the man. With a jolt, Tommy recognizes him as the paramedic that was taking care of Sal earlier.

“Chim!”, the medic exclaims, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He looks at Evan, who’s fidgeting slightly, but still has his eyes closed, and then back at Howie. “Is Buck alright?!”

“Will Buck be okay?!” The boy asks at the same time, his voice breaking as he sniffles.

His red hoodie is as dirty as Vivie’s clothes, and Tommy realizes he was probably caught in the tsunami too. He wonders briefly if the kid is Evan’s son, but then realizes he probably wouldn’t call him by a nickname if that was the case.

“Hey, Christopher, Buck will be fine, I promise.” Bobby is the one to answer, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “He’s just a little tired right now. But you can sit by his side until he wakes up, what do you think?”

“Can I, dad?” Christopher asks, and the medic that’s holding him nods, then puts him down by Evan’s bed. He takes Evan’s hand in his, gently squeezing it. Hen gently takes the pair of glasses that are hanging from Buck’s neck and places them on the boy’s face, and he smiles at her.

The familiarity between them makes Tommy realize that his father, the medic that took care of Sal, is with the 118, and the coincidence leaves him speechless. What brings him back to reality is the small tug on his shirt, and as he looks at Vivie, he realizes she’s asking him to put her down. Tommy does, and she goes straight to Christopher with a small smile.

“You’re Christopher, right?” She asks, and the boy nods at her, a frown on his face. “Mr. Evan was worried that you’d be mad at him because he lost you. But you’re not, right?”

“No!” Christopher exclaims, as if the mere idea of being mad at Evan is absurd. “He was trying to help people, it wasn’t his fault!”

“I told him that!” Vivie exclaims triumphantly. “I said he was a hero, and that you wouldn’t be mad.”

“How do you know Buck?” Christopher asks her curiously.

“He saved me! When I got lost from…” She trails off, and her little blue eyes widen as if she’s just remembered something important. Vivie turns back to Tommy, and he sees in alarm that she’s on the verge of tears. “Daddy!”

“What, pixie? What’s the matter?” Tommy asks hurriedly, picking her up again and holding her close, but it’s no good, she’s still agitated, clutching his shirt in her tiny hand.

“Uncle Sal got hurt! We need to find him! I was s-so happy to see you that I forgot, but we need to find him! Mr. Evan was going to help me, but now he can’t, and I don’t want uncle Sal to get more hurt!” She sobs against his shoulder, and Tommy shushes her, rubbing circles on her back and bouncing her slightly.

“Baby, it’s alright, shh.” He whispers to her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I found uncle Sal.”

She looks up at him, her sobs subsiding and her eyes widened in surprise.

“You did?!”

“Well, not me, but someone did and brought him here. But I’ve seen him, and he’s okay, I promise.” Tommy reassures her, and Vivie sobs once more, but it’s filled with relief this time.

“Daddy, do you promise? Can I see him?!” She asks, and Tommy nods right away.

“Of course you can, pixie. He’ll be so happy to see you.” He promises, and then turns to Howard, who’s been watching them with a fond smile. Tommy shifts Vivie so he can hold her with one arm and extends his hand for him. “Howie. Thank you so much. To all of you. I wouldn’t have found her if I hadn’t run into you” He says, looking at Captain Nash, Hen and the medic whose name he still doesn’t know.

“We’re just glad everything turned out okay, Tommy.” Captain Nash says warmly, and Tommy smiles at him.

Then, he looks at Evan’s still unconscious form on the bed, and back at the captain. He desperately wants to thank the man properly, but he knows Vivie won’t be settled until she sees Sal, and he knows his best friend is probably beside himself, wondering what’s happening to Tommy and her. Nash, however, seems to understand Tommy’s struggle, and nods at Tommy.

“Go. We’ll wait.” He reassures him, and Tommy nods gratefully at him.

“We’ll be back.” Tommy promises, and then he is gone, heading towards his best friend, his daughter safely in his arms thanks to the angel he’s leaving behind.

--

Buck doesn’t wake up all at once. Consciousness comes in small waves; at first he’s only aware of the sounds around him, the low murmur of familiar voices that allow him to come back slowly and steadily. Then, he becomes aware of the throbbing pain on his leg, which is stretched out. That’s how he realizes he’s lying down on scratchy sheets that feel very hospital-like (and yes, he wishes he wasn’t that familiar with what hospital sheets feel like). But as the events of the day come back to his memory, a sense of urgency forces him to full conscience, and his eyes open with a rush.

“Christopher! Genevieve!” Buck exclaims, and only when he tries to sit up on the bed does he feel the tug of a small warm hand against his.

“About time you woke up” Christopher says, and Buck looks at him with tear-filled eyes.

The young boy has his glasses back, and that signature smile that never fails to make Buck happy as well. He can’t understand why he’s still on the receiving end of it after everything that happened, though, or why Eddie is allowing Chris to be near him in the first place.

“Chris,” Buck says, sitting up on the bed, and taking Chris’ other hand in his. Because if this is the last time he’ll be allowed to be around him, he’s going to make it count. “Listen, buddy. I am so so sorry. I should have kept you safe, and I didn’t, and I…”

“Yeah, you did.” Chris argues, looking earnestly in Buck’s eyes, and he feels absolutely vulnerable under his gaze. “You kept me safe from the first wave, and you had me safe in the truck.”

“Yeah! But then I lost you!” He says, worried that Christopher is not understanding how bad Buck screwed up.

“Well, yeah, but you looked for me. A lot. Vivie told me. And she told me you thought I’d be mad, but I’m not. You’re still my favorite grown-up, Buck.”

Chris’ words and the way he’s looking back at Buck, like he’s still a hero, like Buck didn’t fail him, are too much. Buck blinks, trying to keep the tears at bay, but he can’t; the day has been too rough. Chris, however, seems to sense Buck’s emotions are getting the best of him; he wraps his small arms around Buck’s waist, resting his head against Buck’s chest. Buck hugs him back, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his curls.

“Thank you, bud. I’m so glad you’re safe.” He whispers, and Chris just hums at him.

“‘Favorite grown-up’, huh? I’m kinda jealous, gotta admit.”

When Buck hears Eddie’s voice, he lets go of Chris and looks up at his best friend, bracing himself for the anger in his eyes. But Eddie is smiling playfully at them, his posture relaxed. As Buck looks around, he faintly notices Hen and Bobby hovering near him, but he can’t talk to them before he apologizes to Eddie; that has to be his priority.

“Eddie! I am so sorry, man, I can’t even begin to…”

“Then don’t.” Eddie says softly, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezing it. “Don’t even begin, because you have nothing to apologize for. He’s here, and he’s safe, and that’s all that matters, alright?”

Buck can’t take Eddie’s forgiveness yet, not entirely anyway. There’s still too much guilt pooling on his chest, so he decides to focus on something else.

“And Genevieve? Where is she?” He asks, looking around and not seeing either Genevieve or her father. He tries not to be disappointed by the fact they’re gone; he’d have liked to say goodbye.

“Tommy took her to see her uncle Sal, but they’ll be back.” Bobby tells him, and Buck looks at him in surprise at the amount of information in that short sentence.

“You know her dad’s name?!” It’s the first thing he registers, and then the rest of Bobby’s sentence sinks in. “Wait, you found her uncle?! Is he okay? Is he alive?!”

“Calm down before you pass out again, please.” Bobby asks calmly, and then he sits at Buck’s side, his eyes alternating between Buck and the IV still hooked up to his arm. The captain looks weary and relieved at the same time. “As it turns out, the little girl you were helping is the daughter of a former 118 guy, Tommy Kinard. He’s a pilot at Harbor station now. And Sal, her uncle, is his best friend. He used to work with us too, a long time ago. He’s hurt his head pretty bad, but he’s alright”

“Oh thank God. She was so worried.” Buck says, relaxing back against the pillow. Eddie has taken Chris and they are sitting on a stool next to his bed, cuddling together in silence. That fills Buck with relief, and he sighs, closing his eyes for a bit.

He’s still exhausted, and the dull throbbing in his leg is intensifying into stabs of sharp pain. Buck forced his body to the limit, and now he’s paying the price, but he can’t regret it. Not when Chris and Vivie are reunited with their dads.

Before he can voice his discomfort, though, he sees Chimney jogging towards them. He smiles when he sees Buck is awake, and promptly shoves a water bottle and a cereal bar into his hands.

“Welcome to the land of the living, Buckaroo.” He says, patting his shoulder gently. “Eat something, or Maddie will kill us both.”

“Thanks, Chim” He says hoarsely, sitting up on the bed..

Buck eagerly opens the bottle first, taking a big sip and sighing as it eases the pain on his sore throat. As he takes a small bite of the cereal bar, easing his hunger and thirst, his leg decides it’s done waiting for attention. The pain intensifies, and Buck can’t help but flinch a movement that is quickly caught by Hen’s sharp gaze.

“Alright, Buckaroo, finish your snack so we can get some painkillers into your system.” She asks, and Buck, who’d usually stubbornly reject the idea of using painkillers, especially the strong ones that help his leg, just nods meekly; he’s in too much pain. “And then I think you should take it very easy the next few days. It wasn’t your fault, but you pushed yourself way too hard today.”

“Hen’s right, kid.” Bobby adds gently. “Once the painkillers kick in, we’ll take you home, and then you can get some rest, ok?”

Getting some rest sounds wonderful in Buck’s opinion, and he nods at them both, his mouth too occupied with chewing. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until now.

“Not so fast, Cap.” Chim quips, and inexplicably smirks at Buck. “He can’t go anywhere before Tommy and Vivie come back and he gets to play the hero.”

Buck blushes at that, but he can’t help a small smile from coming to his lips at knowing Genevieve and her father are coming back. And, with a small leap in his heart, he thinks that his giddiness isn’t entirely about Vivie.

But he’s wise enough to keep that thought to himself.

--

Tommy crosses the field hospital with quick strides, Vivie's small frame a comforting weight in his arms. As they walk around, he notices that things are calming down; there are fewer people around, the doctors and nurses don't seem to be rushing so much, and the overall chaos is more controlled.

Things are settling down, as they usually do after a big tragedy, and Tommy privately thinks they’ll only see how bad it was on the next day. He sends a silent thought for all the people who didn’t have the luck he did, of finding the loved ones they lost to the waves.

Sal is exactly where Tommy left him; sitting up on the bed, a pained look on his face as he frantically looks around. The second he spots Tommy and Vivie, his face is taken over with relief, and Tommy can see how desperately he wishes to get up, but he doesn't. He just grips the sheets, staring at them intensely, his face going from anxious to relieved.

"Vivie!" He exclaims, and Tommy's daughter raises her head so fast that he worries she’ll have whiplash.

The minute she sees Sal, she gasps loudly, and her little hand curls up in Tommy’s shirt, gripping it tightly. Vivie’s staring at Sal as if he isn’t real, as if she’s trying to convince herself that he is.

"UNCLE SAL!" Genevieve's exclamation can be heard through the whole hospital, and she tugs insistently at Tommy's shirt. "Daddy, daddy, put me down, please!", she begs, and Tommy is more than happy to abide.

The second her feet hit the floor, she's rushing to Sal's bed, climbing up on it as fast as her little legs allow. Sal wraps his arms around her, pulling Genevieve to his lap and holding her close. Her arms wrap around his neck, and they hug each other tightly. Tommy can see the tension leaving Sal’s shoulders as he wraps his daughter in his strong arms, and his own heartbeat seems to finally settle as he sees them together.

“Vivie, oh my God! I was so worried, kiddo, so worried!” Sal says, his voice thick with emotion like Tommy’s never seen before.

“Me too, uncle Sal!” Vivie says, and then she looks at him, her eyes filled with tears. “Cause you got really hurt, and then I didn’t see you anymore, and I was so afraid!”

It’s clear that all the events of the day are finally catching up to Genevieve, and she lets out a broken sob, her whole body shaking with it. Tommy’s first instinct is to jump in and get her in his arms so he can comfort her, but he holds back. That’s not what Vivie needs; she needs reassurance from the uncle she almost lost, not from him. And he trusts Sal to do it.

“Hey, hey, shh” Sal soothes her gently. “I’m here, you don’t have to be afraid, kiddo.”

He picks Vivie up, sitting her on his lap, pressing her head against his chest. She clutches his filthy Ramones T-shirt in her tiny fist, and Sal runs one massive hand in her hair, messing it up even further. They’ll wash and braid it again when he puts her to bed, which will happen about a thousand hours later than it should, but he couldn’t care less.

“It was scary…” She admits, her voice a tiny whisper, and Tommy’s heart breaks for her.

Genevieve has always been his brave little girl; the only fear she’s ever had was the dark. Tommy has been able to protect her from that, putting a night light in her bedroom, letting her sleep with him when it gets too bad. But will he be able to protect her from this? From the fear of water, fear of the sea, from the nightmares that she’ll get from this? He doesn’t know, and the thought scares him.

“I know, kiddo.” Sal tells her, bringing Tommy back to the present. “It was scary to me too.”

“I r-really thought I wouldn’t see you anymore, uncle Sal.” She tells him, and Sal exchanges a helpless look with Tommy.

Neither of them wanted her to learn what losing someone feels like, and Tommy would have given anything for his daughter not to have this experience. But it’s happened, and now all they can do is reassure her that everything turned out okay in the end.

Sal takes a deep sigh, and then presses a long kiss to Vivie’s forehead. Tommy can see his eyes are filled with tears, but he does his best to swallow them and smile at the little girl on his lap. “What, and leave all the fun of watching you grow up to your boring dad? No way, kiddo.”

Genevieve lets out a watery giggle at that, looking from Sal to Tommy. “Daddy, uncle Sal said you’re boring!” She gasps, and Tommy smiles wryly, coming closer to them.

“I heard it, baby. Maybe we should let Uncle Sal go home on foot, then? He won’t want a ride with someone this boring after all.”

“Nah, I’ll take it the ride. Even if you’re boring, Vivie is cool.” Sal teases, Sal teases, which makes Vivie giggle in delight and Tommy smack his shoulder (a lot more lightly than he normally would). Then, his expression turns serious, and he looks earnestly at his best friend.

“Tommy. I am sorry, man. I am so sorry.” He says, and Tommy can see he’s about to cry again. Without a word, he wraps his arms firmly around Sal, Vivie caught between them, and hugs his best friend tightly.

“I know. You don’t have to be. What matters to me is that you’re both okay.” Tommy says, and he means every word. Sal pats his back and nods at him when Tommy finishes the hug.

He sits by the edge of Sal’s bed, and Vivie scrambles from Sal’s lap to his, cuddling up against his chest. Her body is heavy against his, exhaustion catching up to her. He holds her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“How are you feeling, man?” Tommy asks, and Sal smirks at him.

“Like I’ve been hit in the head by debris.” He quips, and Tommy glares at him until he shrugs. “Look, I think I’ll be worse in the morning. They gave me good stuff for the pain, so I won’t feel it for real until tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well, it’d make me a hell lot more comfortable if you spent the night with us. I don’t want you going home alone.” Tommy says, and Sal rolls his eyes, poking Vivie’s arm.

“Your dad is such a mother hen, isn’t he?” He teases, and the little girl giggles. Tommy loves that sound more than anything in the world. “But okay, I think a sleepover sounds fun.”

“Sleepover!” Vivie celebrates, making Tommy and Sal chuckle. Then Sal frowns, as if he remembered something, and a sad expression takes over his face.

“Aw, kiddo, and I still owe you a unicorn, don’t I? Can’t believe we went through all that trouble and you didn’t get him in the end.”

Vivie gasps at that, kneeling on the bed and covering her mouth with her tiny hands. She looks from Tommy to Sal and then to the floor, her eyes widening.

“No, uncle Sal, but I did get him! I protected Marsh, but I forgot him with Mr. Evan! Daddy, we have to go back to your firefighter friends and get him back!”

“We will, baby. Daddy wants to thank mr. Evan anyway.” Tommy reassures her, and Sal frowns at him.

“Mr. Evan? ‘Firefighter friends’? The hell she is talking about, Tommy?” He asks, and Tommy refrains himself from scolding him for saying ‘hell’ in front of Vivie, because she doesn’t seem to pay much attention.

Tommy smirks, already anticipating Sal’s reaction to knowing it was Nash’s team that got Tommy to Vivie. “So, you’re never gonna believe this…”

--

After telling the whole story to Sal and telling him to stay put until Tommy comes for him (‘What, you think I wanna get up and go give Nash a hug and a cupcake? I’m better off here, thanks’), Tommy takes Vivie back to where the 118 was gathered around Evan’s bed.

Sal, who’s much better at keeping up with LAFD gossip than Tommy, has already informed him that Evan is the firefighter who got caught under the ladder truck a few months ago, and that only makes Tommy admire the man even more. He can only imagine how painful it must have been, walking around with a kid all day with his leg still recovering from such a trauma.

When they get there, they’re greeted by the sound of laughter, and the bed is surrounded by Nash, Howie and Hen. The medic - Eddie, according to Sal - is sitting on a stool, with his kid asleep against his chest. They’re all looking at Evan with exasperated fondness and soft smiles.

Evan himself is leaning against the pillow, his leg stretched out in front of him. His cheeks are flushed, and he doesn’t look as exhausted anymore, but his blue eyes are hazy and his smile is a little loopy. Even so, Tommy can’t help but notice he is absolutely gorgeous, and that his earlier comparison to an angel was not too out there; Evan has positively cherubic features, and the fact that he has his arms wrapped around an unicorn plushie only adds to his charm.

“Marsh!” Vivie exclaims the minute she spots the plushie, and everyone turns to them.

Tommy smiles at them in greeting as Vivie tugs on his T-shirt to let her down. Tommy does, and she rushes to Evan’s bed, stopping herself before climbing in it and looking at him shyly. Evan, however, smiles at her, bright and welcoming, and Tommy’s heart skips a treacherous beat. Get a grip, Kinard, you can’t lose it just because he is kind to your kid. He’s probably straight anyway, he tells himself firmly, but his eyes are still taking in the charming scene unfolding in front of him.

“C’mere, Vivie.” Evan says, and it’s the first time Tommy’s hearing his voice. It’s warm, and cheery, even though his speech is a little slurred, probably from everything that happened.

He pats the mattress next to him, and Genevieve doesn’t need to be told twice. She climbs up on the bed, and Evan offers the unicorn to her. “Your friend was missing you, you know?”, he tells her with a lovely smile.

“You kept him safe for me, Mr. Evan! Thank you!” She says in wonder, hugging the plushie close to her chest. Then, she looks at Evan, and puts the plushie aside, kneeling on the bed and wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek against his flushed one. “And thank you for keeping me safe. You made things not so scary, and you helped me find Uncle Sal.”

It’s clear the heartfelt thanks from the five-year-old takes Evan off-guard, and he’s slow on his reaction. Still, he wraps his arms around her, closing his eyes in delight, gently stroking her hair.

“You’re quite welcome, baby. Having you with me made things not so scary too, so thank you. For helping me to get here.”

The others are all watching the scene with a mix of fondness and amusement. Tommy himself could forever stand there and watch this ridiculously adorable man interact with his kid, but he can’t; he has his own thanks to give. He approaches the bed slowly, and both Vivie and Evan look up at him. His daughter promptly holds the unicorn up so Tommy can see it. It’s wet, and filthy, but he guesses it’s still sort of cute.

“Look, Daddy, this is Marsh! Uncle Sal got him for me!” She tells him excitedly, and Tommy chuckles, bending down to kiss her forehead.

“Marsh looks like a great addition to your plushie friends, baby. He’ll probably look even better after we give him a bath.” He muses, and Vivie giggles, going back to stroke the plushie’s fur gently.

What surprises Tommy, though, and apparently everyone else, is that Evan giggles right along. Tommy refuses to acknowledge how adorable it is to see this 6-foot-2 man giggling along with his five-year-old.

“Isn’t that funny, though? A unicorn taking a bath? It should be a glitter bath at least.” He says, and then laughs at his own joke. His friends are looking at him in amusement, and Hen crosses her arms, smirking.

“I guess the painkillers are kicking in, huh, Buckaroo?” She says fondly, and Evan tries to handwave her, but the gesture is a tad bit clumsy.

“M’fine!” He exclaims, and then he runs a hand on Vivie’s plushie, looking at it in wonder. “Oh my God, he is so soft! Eddie, have you ever seen a softer plushie?”

Eddie snickers, and so does Chimney. Bobby is staring at Evan with a mixture of exasperation and fondness. And Tommy? Tommy is trying very hard not to melt from the sheer cuteness.

“Tommy, if you have anything to say to him, I think you should say it now, before we completely lose him.” Chim recommends with a chuckle, and Tommy startles. He does have something to say.

He turns to Evan, and the man has a loopy smile on his face, looking at Tommy with hazy eyes filled with something that he can’t quite define, but it makes Tommy blush furiously. He fidgets with the hem of his shirt, and forces himself to look the man in the eye.

“Mr. Evan”, he starts, and the man frowns, as if something isn’t quite right about that greeting.

“No mister. You can call me...” He trails off, as if he’s looking for the right word, and then he smiles at Tommy as if he’s had the brightest idea ever. “Evan! Yeah! You can totally call me Evan.”

“Evan, then. I’m Tommy. Tommy Kinard.” He says, offering a hand, and Evan shakes it.

His hand is warm against Tommy’s, even if his handshake is a little wobbly. The moment they touch, Tommy feels as if a spark of electricity rushes through him, as cliché as that sounds. Evan must feel it too, because he looks up at Tommy with raised eyebrows.

“I know, Bobby said. I’m your re… re… Ah, it’s a big word, but I entered the 118 when you left. Small world, huh?” He says, with a tiny frown between his eyebrows as if he’s trying to make sense of it, and Tommy has an irrational urge to kiss it away. He doesn’t, but it’s a near thing.

“Very.” Tommy agrees, and then he sits down by Evan’s side. Even if he’s not entirely aware of what’s going on, Tommy needs to thank him. “Evan, I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did. Vivie is my life, and you saved her. There are no words to express how grateful I am.”

Evan seems to take a while to process his words, but then he shrugs modestly. He looks down at Vivie and tries for a wink, but it comes off as more of a sleepy blink. Tommy’s daughter giggles anyway, holding Marsh close to her chest.

“Ah, you don’t have to thank me, you know?” He slurs. “I did what everyone would do.”

“No, you didn’t.You did way more. You kept her safe, and you protected her, and you brought her to find her uncle.” Tommy tells him firmly, taking his hand in his and squeezing it. He tries to ignore the goosebumps it brings to his arms. “I owe you a debt that can never be repaid. But if there is anything I can do for you, ever, you just have to say the word.”

Evan nods, but stays silent. His hand is still wrapped around Tommy’s, and he looks down at them for a moment. Then he looks back at Tommy, his blue eyes determined.

“I mean, you could ask me out!” He exclaims, and everyone turns at him, eyes widened, including Tommy. He’s so surprised he doesn’t remember to separate their hands.

“I… I could… W-what?” Tommy asks, sputtering and feeling a blush covering his cheeks and all the way down to his neck (nice going, you idiot). It doesn’t help that half his former team is watching it with smirks on their faces.

“You could ask me out!” Evan repeats it, his brows furrowing as if he can’t quite understand what’s giving Tommy pause. “You’re ridiculously gorgeous, you know that? I’d say yes if you asked me out.”

Tommy is left completely speechless and wishing that the floor would swallow him whole. Captain Nash is looking at Evan with that same fatherly exasperation of before, and Eddie and Howie are shaking with silent laughter. Not even Vivie helps; the minute Evan says he’s gorgeous, her daughter starts giggling uncontrollably, looking between them with way too much amusement. Hen is the only one who seems to take pity on the two of them, because she puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“Alright, Buckaroo, that’s enough out of you! Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”

“Can’t sleep, Hen, I’m going out with the hot pilot. Weren’t you paying attention?” He grumbles, but as Hen helps him lay back, he closes his eyes, resting back against the pillow with a soft sigh.

Tommy is flustered, and shocked, and impossibly endeared. He wants to ask Evan out, he wants to do it now, but he won’t hold a man accountable for things he said under heavy painkillers.

“Daddy, are you going out with mr. Evan?” Vivie asks, and Tommy, if possible, blushes even more. He takes one more look at Evan’s face, eyes closed and a small smile still playing on his lips, and he desperately wishes to tell her that yes, he will.

“I… No, baby. Mr. Evan didn’t really mean it, he’s just sleepy. It’s like when you say silly things in your sleep, remember?” He tells her, and she nods, but looks absolutely disappointed. “Besides, we have to pick up uncle Sal and go home, don’t we? It’s way past your bedtime. Say goodbye to everyone and let’s go.”

She does as she’s told, sparing a hug for everyone and making Eddie promise she and Chris will have a playdate soon (Tommy actually likes the idea; Vivie has plenty of friends, but she could always do with more). He agrees to set it up and says his own goodbyes, shaking everyone’s hands. When it comes to Chimney’s turn, though, he smirks at Tommy and slips a paper into his pocket.

“Here’s Buck’s number and address. You know, just in case you wanna check if he meant it or was just being silly.” He says with a knowing smirk, and Tommy looks at him in surprise. Howie shrugs, and then goes back to talking to Hen.

And Tommy should throw the paper away, he really should. Evan is probably straight; Tommy has a daughter and hasn’t really dated in years. Everything tells him this is not a good idea.

He folds it carefully in his pocket anyway.

Tag list:

@bidisasterevankinard @unhingedangstaddict @silversky9 @music-is-the-voice-of-the-soul @asmugfirefighter

@typicalopposite @littlepaws9 @aplaceinme @rubydaiquiri @racerchix21

@dearqueend @laundryandtaxesworld @buckleyskinards @actuallyitsellie

@agentpeggycartering @chaoticdisasterbi

@deelovesbooks @teabroomsandbooks

[eggmacguffin]

a non-exhaustive list of my favorite posted lines from my current fic

CHAPTER 1:

Right now, it felt like that raw edge from his first few months was back somehow, but instead of making him sharp, it just left him susceptible to further fraying.

&

“I don’t know where the blood is coming from,” he mumbled, slurring a little, because if Chimney was treating him, he needed to know Buck was hurt, “I don’t know where I’m bleeding.”

Chimney’s lips moved, but Buck, but Buck couldn’t hear anything over the blood roaring in his ears. Chim must have noticed, because he instead touched Buck’s slick, wet face and showed him the black staining his fingertips. Not blood. Oil.

Chimney was trying to talk to him again, and Buck struggled to interpret movement without sound. When just watching didn’t work, he followed along with the motion, forming the shapes with his own mouth, and only then could he understand.

You’re safe, Chimney was telling him, over and over again, You’re safe.

&

Adrenaline that had only just begun to fade surged back up with a vengeance, throwing him into that wild animal kind of panic from his probie days, from his days on the road, from when he was a teenager. The kind of panic that left him feeling unsteady and dangerous and vulnerable, like any minute someone was going to try to drag him out of here by the scruff of his neck.

&

"When I fought to get this back, and succeeded,” Buck gestured to his healthy legs first, but in his agitated state, his hands jerked as he spoke and spread to indicate the rest of him, too. The whole station. The whole world, “you called it a, a miracle. But it wasn’t a miracle. It was months, it was my surgeons and my physical therapists, it was me killing myself to get back what I lost. What was taken from me.”

CHAPTER 2:

The panic, the terror, the fury that had gripped him cracked apart, thawing instead into a tender, aching sort of shame.

&

"Woah there handsome, at least buy me dinner first,” Buck croaked, because if he couldn’t stop a situation from spiraling wildly out of his control he could at least make it worse for everyone else.

&

Eddie was staring down at him, terror and relief and determination warring on his beautiful face. It was like all the looking at Buck he hadn’t done in the past several weeks was suddenly concentrated into this single stare.

&

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Chimney croaked, horrified, until a smirk started to twitch on Eddie’s lips, giving the game away. “Oh, fuck you. You guys are assholes.” Chimney kicked the side of Buck’s boot fondly. “You don’t have a monopoly on suffering, you know. I once had a proposal go so badly I almost died.”

&

Eddie went utterly still for a moment, and Buck had half a second to fear he’d overstepped before Eddie shook off his surprise and blinded him with a wobbly grin. It was one of those rare, toothy ones that made Buck feel a little bit like crying if he looked at it too long. Eddie’s tone was light and warm as he murmured, “You’re impossible, you know that?” Except he said it less like it was a hassle and more like it was a miracle.

&

As a teenager, his first taste of freedom had thrummed like wonder in his veins. He’d laid out in fields just like this one on clear nights and the universe had felt alive with endless possibility. Those stars had felt close enough to touch. Like if he’d started up his sister’s car right then and just kept on driving, he could reach them.

&

Running had never been his vice of choice, but maybe he'd just never fully appreciated having two working legs before.

The rest, w/ CH 3 COMING SOON

[inawickedlittletown]

Glasses (BuckTommy one-shot)

Summary: Buck finds out Tommy wears reading glasses...as inspired by Lou wearing a different pair of glasses in every cameo.

Read on Ao3

-

“You wear glasses,” Buck said, a bit of awe in his voice as he took in Tommy. 

Tommy, who was leaning against the door he’d just opened in just a t-shirt and jeans, no shoes, hair a little messy, and with glasses on, looked hot. Buck wasn’t prepared, it was like in a video game when you reached a new level and your character got more accessories. Buck had reached a different place with Tommy and he was…he was definitely a fan. 

“Hi, Evan,” Tommy said. 

Buck just smiled, letting his voice wash over him…letting his name said by Tommy wash over him. Tommy lifted his arms and Buck wrapped his own around him in a hug. He smelled so good. Clean, mostly like his detergent, and something that was just Tommy. Buck could live in that smell forever, but Tommy let him go and closed the door behind them. 

“How was your shift?” Tommy asked. 

“Nothing crazy. Average stuff. Car accident…kid that got stuck on a roof.”

“There’s always a kid on a roof,” Tommy said with a grin. 

“You’re not wrong,” Buck said. 

Tommy’s house was nice, but small. It was a one bedroom cottage style house with an attached garage that was almost as big as the rest of the house. It was cozy, in a way, and the first time Buck entered it, he’d immediately known that it felt like Tommy. All the parts of him. The cozy living room with the big sofa that was perfect for cuddling on and the kitchen that was just a side of too clean because Tommy didn’t really use it too often. Then, the two car garage where he did indeed have a lift and toolboxes full of tools and also a small home gym that Buck had been left more than a little impressed by the first time he saw it. 

Buck was led right to the living room. Their movie night had been postponed twice already once due to work and once because Eddie asked Buck to keep Christopher overnight. They were watching Love, Actually a movie that Buck had never watched but that Tommy said was his favorite. Buck was excited, mostly because it meant learning more about Tommy. 

In the month that they’d been dating, Buck had never felt so settled and happy. They were taking it slow which was definitely new for him, he wasn’t used to not going hot and heavy from the get go. The furthest they had gone was kissing. Buck loved kissing, every aspect of it. He loved kissing Tommy…the way that it was intimate and the way that Tommy was so reactive and that he took control and left Buck senseless. He’d never kissed so much without it leading elsewhere, but it was okay. It was more than okay. 

Tommy picked up a book he’d left page down on the couch, tucking a bookmark to mark his page before he set it down on the coffee table and atop it, he put his glasses. 

Buck made a whining noise and Tommy’s gaze fell on him and his heated cheeks, eyebrow raised. 

“Evan?”

“Uh. I just…why are you taking them off?” 

Tommy inched closer to him. “You like my glasses?”

Buck could only nod. 

“They’re readers,” Tommy said and he reached Buck. “Can’t wear them to watch a movie.” 

Buck was distracted by how close he was, how he wasn’t even touching Buck, but he had such an effect on him glasses or not. 

“They, uh, they look good on you.”

“Yeah?” Tommy asked. 

“Yes,” Buck said, breathless. “Like a sexy librarian, like you could teach me a thing or two.” 

Tommy’s chuckle, his breath, brushed across Buck’s skin. “I can teach you more than a thing or two, Evan.” 

Why was this man this smooth…this confident…this hot and sexy and so many other things.

Buck reached for him first, hands on his jaw, brushing on the stubble for a second before they both leaned in, their lips coming together and Tommy immediately pulling Buck even closer as the kiss deepened, their tongues meeting in what was becoming a familiar dance, one that still affected all of Buck. 

He could hardly think for the feel of Tommy’s hands on his waist and back, at how he grabbed at Buck’s shirt, pulling it up so that eventually his hands were on bare skin. Buck moaned into the kiss, pulling back when he needed air, but Tommy dragged kisses down his chin and his jaw, sucking at his skin and leaving Buck almost breathless. And then, his tongue was moving on his neck before his lips trailed kisses down and then up the otherside, stopping at his ear.

“Glasses, huh,” Tommy said. 

Buck didn’t know what kind of noise came out of him, he just knew that Tommy pecked his lips and his hands left Buck’s bare skin and that he missed him even though there were merely inches between them. 

“I’ll have to model my collection to you,” Tommy said, almost offhand.

“Your collection?” Buck said, mind finally working with his mouth and tongue to form words. 

Tommy chuckled. “I, uh, lose them all over. Find them all over too.”

Why did Buck find that so incredibly hot. Tommy, smirked knowingly and then he turned on his heel. 

“You want popcorn?” 

Buck could do nothing but follow. He found Tommy reaching into a cupboard and when he turned, another pair of glasses were on his face. The style was different, the frames dark and thicker and the shape rectangular but tapering down on the corners. They still looked good on him and he knew what he was doing going by his smirk. 

Buck crossed the room, backed Tommy into the counter, hands on his hips holding him in place as if Tommy would dare to get away. 

“You are a menace,” Buck said. 

“A menace that sometimes wears glasses that drive my boyfriend crazy,” Tommy said. 

“Joke’s on me, there’s little that wouldn’t drive me crazy about you,” Buck said and then they were kissing again. 

Buck did discover, then, that glasses could get in the way of a vigorous making out session, but that they were easily pushed up to the top of Tommy’s head and that…that made him look hot too.

[daffodilsonaprettystring]

I had a three day weekend and what did I spend two out of those three days doing?

Reading THIS masterpiece https://archiveofourown.org/works/46775788/chapters/117813115

I CANNOT recommend this fic enough, it’s literally an entire rewrite of 9-1-1 seasons 1-6 (it is currently unfinished but STILL WORTH READING) but told from a specifically romantic Buddie POV, and it is PERFECTION. I was literally texting my sister before Buck and Eddie had even MET canonically to tell her she needed to read it, that’s how amazing it is.

Buck is a Swiftie, the author’s characterizations of him and Eddie and Chris are ON POINT, the way Buck and his struggles with himself and his parents are handled is so well written, and the SLOW BURN IS SO WORTH IT!!

But the best thing about it to me is the fact that it literally changes nothing from canon up until past s6. It’s simply TAKEN canon, and written it through the lens of both Buck and Eddie’s internal dialogue realizing that “hey, maybe these interactions and this relationship has ALWAYS been about us falling in love, even if it was never explicitly said.” And the way this author writes Eddie and Buck realizing that they really, really love eachother that way? 100/10 stars, zero notes, Eddie admitting to himself he’s in love with Buck WAY before he’s able to admit he’s gay is something that would so happen in canon, Buck pining like a kicked puppy would also be canon, and not gonna lie, the WAY they finally get together? Nothing they do in the show now will EVER top that for me, it was so well written.

TLDR; I CANNOT recommend this Buddie fic enough, “Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars” if you need a seriously amazing 9-1-1 fic while we’re waiting for s8 I sincerely recommend checking it out it’s INCREDIBLE.

[aaronsinferno]

Buck allowing Tommy to address him as Evan is a gesture of trust and intimacy, displaying his desire to build a personal relationship with Tommy. I feel like a lot of those who advocate for that other ship knows this and fear such an idea. That’s why they’re constantly pushing the narrative that calling Buck "Evan" is disrespectful or that no one should use his given name. Ever. In an attempt to erase whatever intimacy the two of them share with one another. I can dive into how I think this plays heavily into the willful ignorance that group has as a unit while also bringing attention to the overall Infantilization of Buck as a character, but I don’t really see the point. Anyways, this might shake a few of you to your core, but Buck is still Evan, and Evan is still Buck; he simply doesn't allow others to address him as the former.

That was until Tommy came along.

[tommysdaddykink]

9-1-1 - SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 EVAN BUCKLEY

[eddiestightywhities]

When there's now this thing in your life, a new thing between you and another person, a thing you can't quite put your finger on to be able to try and describe it.

When you start to become so comfortable with this person that they start to become your person, and before you're really aware that anything has changed between you, you've just suddenly become one hundred percent theirs.

When you then get so close to that person that you don't really realise that things have shifted so significantly between you, because it's so infinitesimally and yet so dramatically all at once, and because everything just feels so damn right all the time and exactly the way you feel things are supposed to feel, so why would you ever think about changing it?

When it dawns on both you and that person—maybe one of you gets there before the other, maybe both at the same time?—that the two of you have moved on from being just friends and are morphing into something else, so seamlessly and with such ease that you don't have to question it, because it is just a thing that sort of is now.

When your touches become lighter, lingering things, softer and warmer and more frequent than before, and occurring much, much more and in a very different way than with anybody else in your life.

When you and your person and this thing that you now share become more wanting and more needy, and yet somehow so unerringly steady, and also so wonderfully and assuredly grounding and immovable, all as one, all at the very same time.

When together, you become more.

When you find you have found your way to your person, and to this thing, the thing that you now mold and nurture and that molds and nurtures you, slowly; unwaveringly; absolutely; discovering that it's helps you to move in new ways and to unfold as a person, to breathe, to settle into yourself.

When you have this thing (all of these things) in your life and realise that this is it, this is the thing they've been writing about throughout the ages.

When you realise that this thing—your thing—is a thing called love.

[lemonzestywrites]

hii zesty!! i am requesting for the word game! whine, love and string!! 🫶

sorry i got to this one so late! but here you are!

whine - ch. 7

Within an instant, Buck’s fingers withdraw. Eddie can’t help but whine at the loss. Mourning the warmth and firmness that Buck had offered to him.

love - ch. 4

“Love how obedient you are. How eager you get. And you’re taking my fingers so easily, now.”

string - ch. 5

Eddie feels Buck thread a hand through his hair, scratching reassuringly at his scalp for a couple strokes before his fingers search for the buckle of the gag, undoing it carefully. He gently eases the gag out from his mouth, peeling it from his lips. A cold string of saliva falls from the ball and onto Eddie’s chin as Buck pulls it out, but he’s quick to wipe it away with his thumb.

[quintessenceofdust88]

Life is Changin' Tides, ch. 3 🌊

[Ch. 1] [Ch. 2]

[Read on AO3]

"People lie in gurneys and makeshift beds, hurt and struggling, while nurses speak loudly to each other over the chaos, doctors and paramedics rush past, and the cries of people searching for loved ones cut through it all. There are many people looking around in the same frantic way that Buck is, and his heart squeezes in his chest. How many families has this tsunami pulled apart? How many will wake up without one of their members the next day? At this point, all he can do is pray that the Diaz family doesn’t become one of them. Or Vivie’s family." __ Buck and Vivie look for Chris and Sal. Tommy looks for Vivie. Eddie looks for Buck.

When Buck and Genevieve are almost at the field hospital, it’s clear the little girl is reaching her limit; to be fair, so is Buck, but he is the grown-up, and he has a responsibility to two children now, so he’ll just have to hold on to whatever ounce of strength he can find within himself until Vivie is safely delivered to her uncle and he finds Chris. 

He feels a small tug on his hand, and looks down to see Vivie looking at him with exhausted eyes filled with tears. Her little face is pale, and she’s blinking heavily. 

“Mr Evan… My legs hurt…” She whispers, and Buck’s heart shatters for her. 

They’ve been walking for more than an hour with very few breaks, and she’s just a little thing. Buck can’t imagine how exhausting it must be for her, and even though he’s tired himself, he has to do something. 

“Hey, Vivie,” he crouches down to her level, ignoring the way his knees protest and how much he wishes for a bed or even a chair at this point. Hell, he’d take a nap at the back of an ambulance if he could. “We’re almost there, ok? Do you think you can keep going just a little more?”

“But�� But what if uncle Sal and Christopher are not here? Then we just have to keep walking, and walking, and walking, and I don’t think I can walk anymore!” She tells him, tears already flowing down her cheeks, and before he knows what he’s doing, Buck’s picking her up in his arms, shooshing her gently. His arms feel like jelly, and he doesn’t know for how long he can carry her, but he’ll try if that’s what Vivie needs.

“Hey, shh, okay, sweetheart.” Buck tells her. “How about we look for them in here, and if we don’t find them, we stop a little? Have some water, I’ll try to get us something to eat, and we sit down just for a little bit? Sounds good?”

Genevieve sniffles and nods against his shoulder, and Buck tries not to feel guilty by his decision. He knows time is of essence in moments like this, but the truth is they can’t just keep going around like this. He needs to stop and think about things more clearly (what he really needs is to call Maddie and cry for about an hour, but he can’t do that while watching Genevieve), and Vivie needs to rest for a little. So that’s what they’ll do.

Buck’s actually proud of himself for taking the kind of decision that would make Maddie and Bobby proud of him, and it is with renewed energy he enters the triage center. His eyes widen as he takes it all in; there are so many people there, more than he thought, and Buck wonders if he looks like them: wet, covered in dirt and sea grime, exhaustion weighing on his shoulders. 

People lie in gurneys and makeshift beds, hurt and struggling, while nurses speak loudly to each other over the chaos, doctors and paramedics rush past, and the cries of people searching for loved ones cut through it all. There are many people looking around in the same frantic way that Buck is, and his heart squeezes in his chest. How many families has this tsunami pulled apart? How many will wake up without one of their members the next day? At this point, all he can do is pray that the Diaz family doesn’t become one of them. Or Vivie’s family. 

A few steps away, he spots a woman holding a clipboard, and his heartbeat intensifies. That’s it, their best chance to find Chris and Vivie’s uncle is right there. Buck jogs to her, ignoring the throbbing in his leg which is growing stronger by the minute at this point, his arms still wrapped around Vivie, who’s looking around in surprise. 

“Excuse me” Buck says, his voice breaking from sheer exhaustion, but the woman turns to him anyway. “I… I am looking f-for two people… Christopher Diaz and…” 

Buck trails off, looking at Genevieve with a frown as the woman checks her list for Christopher’s name. It’s so idiotic, but he’s just now realizing he never asked what’s her uncle’s full name. She just called him Sal, and Buck just went with it. 

“Vivie, sweetie. Can you tell me your uncle Sal’s last name? Is it the same as yours? Kinard?” Buck asks, and Vivie shakes her head. 

“N-no. But… But I d-don’t know, mr. Evan! Uncle Sal is just uncle Sal…” She says with a sniffle, and Buck sighs deeply, squeezing his eyes and trying to swallow his frustration. Of course, he shouldn’t have expected a five-year-old to have that information, but it would be ridiculously helpful.  

“It’s alright, sweetheart” Buck reassures her, rubbing her back soothingly, and still staring expectantly at the woman. After checking her list twice, she looks up at him. 

“We do have a Salvatore Deluca. Do you think this might be who you’re looking for?” She asks, and Buck looks at Vivie trying to find a sign of recognition. 

“Vivie? Could that be your uncle Sal’s name?” He asks, and she frowns for a minute as if she’s trying hard to remember. 

“I… I think so… I think sometimes Daddy calls him Deluca… But I don’t know…” She trails off, but it’s good enough for Buck. It’s their best lead, and he’ll grab on to it fiercely.

 However, Buck is far from relieved, considering the woman’s silence regarding the other name he gave her. He’s almost too afraid to ask, but he knows he has to. Taking a deep sigh, he gathers enough courage to utter the words.

“What about the other one? Christopher Diaz? H-he’s a seven year old boy.” Buck further elaborates, and the woman’s expression makes his heart fall to his knees. 

She checks her list one more time, painfully slow. Buck’s holding his breath the entire time, not even noticing that he’s running a hand on Genevieve’s hair. Her arms are wrapped around his neck, and she’s also looking at the woman with the clipboard, her blue eyes wide in expectancy. 

When she looks back up at them, Buck already feels like crying from her expression alone.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have a Christopher Diaz on my list. You might wanna check the black tents.” She tells him, her voice soft and almost sorrowful, and Buck feels like he’s been punched in his gut. 

“B-black tents, isn’t that?...”

“The morgue.” She completes, and sighs at them before walking away towards somewhere she’s being summoned. 

Buck wraps his arms tighter around Vivie’s small frame, trying to force the tears away from his eyes. God, she can’t… She has to be wrong, right? Christopher can’t… There’s no way he… 

“Mr. Evan, what’s a morgue?” Vivie asks, clearly unaware of the weight of her question, and Buck squeezes his eyes shut. God, it’s so unfair that someone so innocent has to be living through this horror. 

His mind keeps going back to Christopher. Christopher, who always has a smile on his face no matter how dire the situation is. Christopher, who Eddie thought could cheer Buck up, get him out of his head. Christopher, who was safe on top of that truck and would have remained so if Buck hadn’t decided to play the goddamn hero. 

For the first time since rescuing Genevieve, he lets self-doubt creep up. Why did he even take her in the first place? Was it out of true desire to help, or just a twisted desire to make up for losing Chris? To keep playing the hero since he’s not allowed to do it at work anymore? What made him think he could help this little girl? He’s no hero; he’s failed Christopher, and he’ll fail Vivie. 

“Mr. Evan?” She calls gently once more, and Buck is brought to reality with a jolt.

She’s staring at him with widened eyes, filled with fear, and Buck realizes he’s doing what he does best: making things about himself. He doesn’t have time to wonder now; Vivie needs him, Christopher needs him. He can blame himself for all his stupid decisions once both these kids are safe. 

“D-doesn’t matter what a morgue is, baby.” He says, and puts her down, kneeling to her eye level. His eyes keep darting back to the black tent, and Buck forces himself to look away. He’ll not think about it. He won’t. “I’ll tell you what. We’ll take a walk around and you have to pay lots of attention, cause we’ll be trying to find your uncle Sal, alright? If you see him, you let me know right away. Deal?”

“Deal, mr. Evan! Will you be looking for Christopher too?!” She asks, almost excitedly, almost as if trying to find the people they lost in this mess is a game they’ll play together. 

She’s entirely unaware of the stab it sends through Buck’s chest to hear this question, and he’s not about to let her know. He takes a deep breath and nods briskly, making a monumental effort to keep from breaking into tears. 

“Yeah, Vivie, I’ll be looking for C-Christopher too. Let’s see who we find first, hm?” He tells her, and Genevieve nods. Buck picks her up again, ignoring the ache in his shoulders. It’ll be easier for her to look around like this. 

She settles easily in his arms, and Buck starts walking, bracing himself for leg pain. At this point it’s like a constant companion that he barely notices but at random steps he’ll feel like he’s being stabbed all the way from his ankle up to his knee.  

A lot more slowly than he’d like, Buck starts walking around, his eyes registering every person in the beds and gurneys. Even though the woman said Christopher is not there, Buck can’t help but look for a hint of brown curls or a red sweater. He’s also hoping fervently that this Salvatore Deluca is Vivie’s uncle Sal, and that he’s not too hurt for her to recognize him. God, Buck hadn’t thought about that. Is he going to traumatize this child? He keeps screwing things up, no matter how good his intentions are.

They’ve walked through some tents, and Buck is about to suggest they take a small break (his shoulders are really starting to hurt and he’s afraid he’ll drop Vivie). However, when he’s about to say that to Vivie, he comes face to face with the last person he wants to see right now. 

“Buck?!”  -------

Tommy has always been good at masking his emotions, even for the ones who know him best. He managed to play tough in front of Sal, but the truth is, he’s terrified. Sal is the toughest guy Tommy knows; if the tsunami could do a number like this on him, God knows what it could do to Tommy’s five-year-old little girl? His little girl who has just managed to tie her shoes and button her shirt might be out in the world, alone, and that fills him with such despair that all he wants to do is curl up and sob. 

But he can’t. He can’t, because Vivie needs him. With a deep breath, he thinks about her beautiful curls, her adorable button nose, her blue eyes that always look at Tommy as if he has all the answers. The image of his daughter gives Tommy strength, and he crosses the tents to get to a woman who’s looking frazzled and exhausted, a clipboard in her hand. Tommy wonders how many times she’s given bad news to today, and he hopes to God he won’t be one of them. 

“E-excuse me” Tommy tells her, and she looks up at him questioningly. If Vivie was conscious, she’d definitely be able to give her name, so he decides to be optimistic for all of two seconds and give it a shot. “I’m looking for a little girl. G-genevieve Kinard? Do you know if someone brought her in? She’s only five...”

The woman nods briskly, and looks at her papers for what feels like forever. When she looks back up, her expression sends a chill down Tommy’s spine, because it’s one he knows very well as a first responder. It’s that expression of when you really don’t have good news, but things are too chaotic for you to properly let yourself care.

“I don’t have this name here, I’m sorry” She says, and after a brief hesitation, she continues. “You might want to check the black tents. I am truly sorry, sir”

She’s gone before Tommy can ask, but he doesn’t have to. The minute he spots the black tents and the bags piled up under them, he knows exactly what they are, and he can’t breathe anymore. He looks at the black plastic bags, nameless and faceless, listens to their faint rustles as more and more keep being added, and he can't think of Vivie being in one of them. 

Not his little girl that used to fit into the palm of his hand. Not his baby daughter who used to smile every time he made chopper sounds to try and make her eat. Not his bright little lady who insists on helping him read her bedtime stories because she knows the alphabet now. 

She’s just learned the alphabet, and she’s five, and Tommy can’t think of her life being over, he just can’t. It’s impossible to imagine a world where Genevieve doesn’t jump into his bed every morning, where she doesn’t sing Disney songs when he takes her to school, where she doesn’t curl into his lap at the end of a long day so he can read her a bedtime story, where…

When Tommy comes to himself, his throat is sore from sobbing, his face is covered in tears, and his knees hurt. That’s when he realizes he’s been kneeling on the concrete floor for God knows how long. And also that there’s a hand on his shoulder. Tommy raises his eyes to find Captain Bobby Nash standing over him, his eyes filled with compassion. Hen and Howie are standing behind him, and the three of them are looking at Tommy with eyes filled with concern. 

“Tommy. What are you doing here, in your civies, and crying as if…” Nash doesn’t finish, but Tommy knows. ‘As if you’ve lost someone’ is what he doesn’t say, but Tommy feels it anyway.

He closes his eyes, another sob wrecking to his body, and he knows he should get up, greet them properly, but he doesn’t have the strength to do so. The captain exchanges a helpless look with Hen and Howie, and Hen is the one who speaks next.

“Is there anything we can help you with?” She asks gently, and Tommy doesn’t even know where to begin. 

“It’s… It’s my daughter. G-genevieve.” He says, and their eyes widen with horror. They’ve known of Vivie from the time they worked together, and Howie and Hen have even met her when she was little. 

Hen and Bobby give him the look of sympathy only a parent could, and Howie sighs, shaking his head. He places a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. 

“Tommy, are… Are you sure that she’s…?” He asks delicately, and Tommy does feel some relief as he shakes his head. 

“N-no, I’m not. She was out with Sal, and they got separated. H-he got hurt and ended up here, but… But Vivie didn’t. Unless she’s…” He helplessly points to the black tents, trying to hold back the tears that are still threatening to spill. 

“Don’t lose your hope, Tommy” Nash says, and Tommy is surprised to notice he’s choked up. He’s never known the captain to be an emotional man. “She’ll be found”

“Yeah, man, we’ll send an alert to all the stations in the area” Howie offers, helping Tommy up. His legs don’t tremble, which he takes as a good sign. “My girlfriend is at dispatch, I can ask her to keep her ears open.”

“I… I already did that, thank you, Howie” Tommy offers weakly. “I asked for Harbor to be alerted if they found her, but…”

He looks helplessly at his phone, but there hasn’t been any new calls, which means no one at Harbor heard from Vivie. Tommy’s completely in the dark, just like when he started, and the thought is despairing and has his heartbeat quickening. 

He takes a broken sigh, and then looks at his old team. They’re good people, and Tommy’s glad he ran into them, because otherwise he doesn’t think he’d be able to put himself together to keep going. 

“T-thank you for the help. I truly appreciate it.” Tommy tells them, and they just nod in understanding. And as much as he’d love to stay and catch up, Tommy’s on a mission for his daughter. “I… I have to go and look for her.”

“Tommy” Nash says levelly, and Tommy knows he’s about to try and convince Tommy of something he definitely doesn’t want to be convinced of. “You know that’s not a good idea. Do you even know where to start?”

And there it is. If Nash thinks Tommy will stand by while Vivie is out there, he doesn’t know Tommy at all. Hen seems to sense he’s about to argue, because she looks at him with sympathy and raises her hand placatingly. 

“Bobby’s right, Tommy. If you don’t have a lead, you’re just going to run yourself sick. And you won’t be any help to Genevieve like that. Come with us; we’re just picking up one of our guys who was helping as a medic and then we’ll be back out there.”

Tommy clenches his fists, his mind racing. He knows they’re right—knows running out there without a plan is useless—but the thought of standing still feels unbearable. 

“It’s better to do it with help than alone, man” Howie reasons, and Tommy knows they have a point, he knows. But it feels like every second he loses is one more second Vivie is suffering. Besides, what kind of father would it make him if he can’t find her on his own? What kind of father lets other people do the hard work when it comes to saving their children? Nash clearly notices Tommy’s indecision, and he nods resolutely, as if he knows what he has to do.

“Hen, Chim. Why don’t you go ahead and find Eddie? I’ll be right with you.” He says, and the two of them nod at him, sensing his captain wants space to talk to Tommy. The two of them squeeze Tommy’s shoulder on their way, and then they’re gone to the sea of patients, first responders and crew. 

As soon as they’re gone, Nash comes closer to Tommy, placing a hand on the man’s shoulder. His brown eyes bore into Tommy’s blue ones, and his steadiness makes Tommy feel calmer at least for a second.. 

“Tommy. I know what it is to feel helpless as a parent. To feel guilty. You don’t have to feel that way.” He says, and Tommy can feel the tears start to flow down his cheeks, because that’s exactly how he feels. 

“N-no? If I hadn’t gone to work, she’d be safe at home. And now I can’t even go looking for her without losing it.” Tommy confides, and Nash shakes his head. 

“Tommy, she’s your everything, of course you’re losing it. And that’s why you need help. You need someone who isn’t so emotionally compromised and who has the right equipment. We can help you, kid. And trust me, we’ll find your daughter as fast as we can.” He promises, and Tommy feels a warmth in his chest. 

The fact that they want to help him, that they’re willing to take on what’s probably a pointless mission to look for his daughter in the sea of devastation left behind by the tsunami, is what cements Tommy’s decision. He’ll get to Vivie much faster with LAFD resources anyway, and it’ll feel good to know he’s not alone, at least for now. That there’s someone behind him when things go wrong.

“Okay. I… I’ll stay with you.” He decides, and then, with heartfelt honesty, adds, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, Tommy. You may not be with the 118 anymore, but we don’t abandon our own.”

—

Nothing could have prepared Buck for the despair in Eddie’s eyes when he runs into him. It’s like a punch to the gut, and every muscle of his body feels numb and cold. Eddie looks at him with a desperate frown on his face, his eyes looking at and around Buck frantically. It’s almost as if he’s thinking Buck is hiding Chris in his pocket or something equally absurd that Buck would give anything in the world to be true.

“What are you doing here?! Who’s that?!” Eddie asks, gesturing at Vivie. Then, with his voice cracking, he asks the one question Buck irrationally hoped he wouldn’t. “Where’s Christopher?”

Buck doesn’t know what to say. He should be honest, he should tell Eddie that he failed Christopher, he should tell Eddie that he failed him as well, but he’s a coward. And he doesn’t want his best friend to hate him. 

“E-eddie…” He stammers, and Eddie crosses his arms, his eyes never leaving Buck’s, but Buck doesn’t know how to go on. For the first time since he and Eddie became friends, Buck doesn’t know how to talk to him. “C-christopher’s… Eddie, we were at the pier, and… T-the wave hit, and…”

“And what?!” Eddie demands, his arms crossed in urgency. “Where is he, Buck?!”

“I don’t know!” The words burst out before Buck can stop them, and his voice breaks. “The wave hit, and—. I tried—I swear I tried to—” His breath hitches, tears threatening to spill, but he forces them back. He doesn’t deserve to cry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

For a second, Eddie just stares at him, his expression unreadable. Then his gaze sharpens, focused on something past Buck’s shoulder. “Oh my God,” Eddie breathes, his voice barely above a whisper. “Christopher?!”

Buck puts Vivie down and turns around so fast his neck snaps. And right there, coming out from an ambulance in a woman’s arms, is Christopher. Christopher who’s alive, and miraculously unharmed. 

Eddie is by his side in an instant, picking the boy up, and Buck feels like there is a ton-sized backpack being removed from his shoulders.He’s numb with complete relief, because Christopher is okay. He’s in Eddie’s arms and he’s not hurt and he’s okay.

“Mr. Evan?” A small voice brings him back to reality, and Buck looks down at Vivie to find her gently tugging at his sleeve, her eyes widened with fear and exhaustion. “We go find uncle Sal now that Christopher is ok? You… You’re still gonna help me find him?”

Buck finds himself nodding before she even finishes the question. Seeing Eddie with Christopher has taken away all the adrenaline from Buck’s body, and he’s left with nothing but exhaustion and pain, but he has a promise to keep. 

“Of course I will, sweetheart. I promised, didn’t I?”

“Buck!” A voice calls for him, a familiar voice that makes Buck turn around.

Chim and Hen are approaching, their eyes filled with concern. Buck looks at them, his mind vaguely wondering how they ended up there. Their eyes flick from Buck to Christopher, a few meters away in Eddie’s arms, and then back to Vivie.

“Buck, are you okay? What happened? And who’s this?” Hen asks sharply. 

He has a responsibility to Genevieve, and he’ll fulfill it if it’s the last thing he does. Even if he has to limp all the way to her uncle Sal. But he owes an explanation to his crew, to his family, before taking off, and maybe they’ll help him and Vivie get at least some water before they resume their search. 

Buck swallows hard. “T-this is Genevieve. S-she got lost from her uncle, and I promised I’d help her get to him.” His voice wavers, and he feels dizzy, the effort to stay upright taking everything he has. “We just n-need…”

“What did you say her name was?!” Chim interrupts him, and then he looks down at Vivie with sudden recognition. He and Hen exchange one of their infuriating glances that says they figured something out. 

“Sweetie, can you tell us your daddy’s name?” Hen asks, and Buck frowns; how is that going to help anything? 

“I-it’s Tommy…” She says shyly, and Chim and Hen gasp, exchanging another one of those looks. 

“Guys, what’s going on?!” Buck asks frantically, but before they get a chance to explain, a sharp voice cuts through the air. 

“Oh my God!” 

Buck raises his head to see Bobby is coming towards them, followed closely by a man in a plaid shirt. As soon as they spot the rest of them, the man’s eyes lock into Vivie’s, and his pace quickening to the point of almost running.

“Oh my God, Genevieve?!”

Vivie’s head snaps up at the sound of the voice, and she gasps delightedly, a smile brightening her young face.She lets go of Buck’s leg, rushing towards him as fast as her little legs allow her.

“Daddy!” She exclaims, and now everything makes sense to Buck.

Then her dad is picking her up, pressing her against his chest, tears running down his face. He runs a hand down her hair, rocking her from one side to the other, his eyes wide as if he can’t quite believe he has her in his arms.

“Vivie, Vivie, oh my God, baby, let me look at you” He’s muttering against her hair, pressing kisses to her face and her hair. “You’re safe, sweetheart.” He says in wonder, and Vivie nods, then looks at Buck. 

“Mr. Evan rescued me, Daddy. Rescue came, just like you always said it would!” She tells excitedly, and everyone turns to look at Buck, especially Vivie’s dad, whose expression carries so much gratitude it makes Buck blush.

“Y-you kept her safe. Thank you will never ever be enough.” He says, his voice thick with emotion.  

It’s true, Buck realizes, he’s kept Vivie safe. Christopher is safe, Genevieve is safe. They’re found, and both of them are in their father’s arms, and they don’t need him to be strong anymore. 

He means to answer the man, to tell him that no thanks are necessary, really, Buck did what anyone would do. But as relief and exhaustion finally overtake him, everything starts spinning around, and the world fades to black before he can. 

------

Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added or removed):

@bidisasterevankinard @unhingedangstaddict @silversky9 @music-is-the-voice-of-the-soul @asmugfirefighter

@typicalopposite @littlepaws9 @aplaceinme @rubydaiquiri @racerchix21

@dearqueend @laundryandtaxesworld @buckleyskinards @actuallyitsellie

@agentpeggycartering @chaoticdisasterbi

@deelovesbooks@teabroomsandbooks @hummelinski

[surviveds]

@itchose: i haven’t felt at home in this world. (travis + buck)

evan can't help but tense somewhat, the slightest shift in body language as travis speaks. it's not the first time they've hung out like this - watching the slow crawl of the sun as it sinks below the horizon, the sky awash in deep blues and rich purples and a fiery, mesmerizing red - but it's the first time travis has ever offered up anything beyond polite, hollow small talk. and evan is usually content with this dynamic: sitting quietly next to him, a gap he's too-aware of between them, a drink in hand as evan fills the silence, rambling about something inconsequential, typically reciting facts learned in whatever book he's been reading. he's favoring travel guides lately, as he wonders where he'll go next - though evan keeps delaying the decision. it's far from the longest he's stuck around a singular place, and ranching is fun, but he misses the ocean - so he's not sure why he lingers.

maybe it's something to do with him. evan doesn't look directly at travis, opting instead for what he hopes is a casual side-eye as he takes a swig of his beer, downing it in a careful swallow before replying in an even voice, "yeah?" he's trying so very hard not to push. but evan feels the questions burning, as they've done for weeks, and the desire to better understand travis is overpowering, so he can't really stop himself from continuing, though he manages to aim for something neutral, something that isn't too invasive. "shitty parents?" and there's sympathy heavy in the question, because evan gets it. "in my experience, they have a way of making you feel... out of place."

[aloneintheafterglow]

*the comic book version*

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

Dyslexic Dyscalculic! Evan “Buck” Buckley

[ID: A 3x3 moodboard, themed around dyslexic dyscalculic Evan “Buck” Buckley from 9-1-1. Images are as follows: a red pin back button with a speech bubble saying, “I’m dyslexic.” on a white background; a monochrome mirror photo of a person’s outfit, they are wearing a short sleeve black and white striped button up with black sunglasses hanging from the neck of the shirt and black pants, one arm is holding a phone up and the other is in their pants pocket; gold writing on a white background that says, “You have a heart of gold.”; a white neon letter sign that says, “This is the city that I love.” on a black background; black text that says “confused” spelled incorrectly on a white background; a monochrome photo of a California license plate that says “I’m trying.”; a gold enamel pin that says, “Do good.” on a white background; a monochrome photo of a person from the neck down, standing in the rain, their white t-shirt is stuck to their chest from the rain and their hands are out to their sides; a red pin back button with a speech bubble saying, “I’m dyscalculic.” on a white background. END ID]

[beyourownanchor6]

—chris doesn't come back au is finally here ya'll!! not only is this the longest fic i've ever written, but it's also my 200th buddie fic!! thank you to everyone who's encouraged me on this journey; can't wait to take ya'll on this angst fest 🫶🏻

rated: e | words: 110k | ch. 1/14 | read on ao3

summary:

Christopher was gone, missing.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but as Eddie watched the man he loved break right in front of him, he knew Buck blamed himself, that the guilt was already eating him alive.

Eddie had the urge to be in two places at once, wanting to comfort Buck, but needing to find his son. Chris was his whole world; Buck had stepped right into it.

They didn’t find Chris that night, or the next. He was gone, swept away with the storm. Some things floated back to shore, while others, well—they were lost forever.

—or—

After the tsunami, Christopher goes missing. He doesn’t come back, at least, not right away. This is NOT mcd.

tagging squad below, just lmk if you wanna be added or removed <3

tags: @loserdiaz @redlightsandicedtea @loveyourownsmiilee @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @swiftiebuckleyhan @honestlydarkprincess @queerbuckleys @spotsandsocks @justsmilestuffhappens @eddiiediaz @djdangerlove @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @jackluvsdaniel @stanningsky @wh0re-behavi0r @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @transbuck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @betty-boom @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @underwaterninja13 @pirrusstuff @nmcggg @theotherbuckley @louis-tenn @the-gayest-wug @buckley-diaz-rules @muppetbuddie @gamer-kai @blorbodiaz @saybiwithme @trashbaget @steadfastsaturnsrings @bibuckbuckgoose @wikiangela @hobbitnarwhal @shortsighted-owl @pirrusstuff @goldencherrymooon @kinardbuckley @daffi-990 @greenfairrryy @mattsire

[aaronsinferno]

Just gonna say this…

The BuckTommy hate isn't going to end anytime soon from buddies and it’s definitely going to get more aggressive when the show starts again.

They've been playing at this for six years, fueled by nothing but headcanons, twisted narratives, delusion, and theories that have repeatedly led them astray. So now that another character has swooped in, took the position they thought was reserved for their favorite “queer coded” hetero, and has gained a bit of momentum online, they feel very threatened/insecure and are going to make it everyone’s problem.

We've seen the lengths they’ll go to: from writing and spreading those vile fics to spreading queerphobic rhetoric, harassing cast, crew, and fans, and blatantly ignoring the source material to reimagine the show as they see fit.

If you want to truly enjoy this ship and the spaces you've created and joined to celebrate it, the best thing you can do is exactly that: enjoy it. Ask yourself why you're here, what makes you happy, and then focus entirely on that. Give little to no energy to any of their nonsense. It’s literally the only way we’re going to be able to thrive and actually enjoy ourselves from here on out. Because believe me when I say that they are having the absolute worst time and their behavior proves it.

Lets just have fun, guys