#kon is traumatized

[evilminji]

*slams open the door* I WAS SUMMONED?! My trash fire ship? My bespoke suit wearing war criminal beloveds? Babies!

And Vlad is the worst bridezilla you have ever known. Lex makes so many marriage planners CRY. They can't agree on SH!T and call each other tacky. The UST is palpable and probably wanted in fifty states for tax evasion. The talk ENTIRELY in Villianous Subtext. So much Fancy Scotch and luxury goods everything.

Like the world's most Unethical Crime Commiting Peacocks.

Except Vlad is needy and you have to pay attention to him NOW and Lex? Haaaates being mocked or ignored. Would ABSOLUTELY fall for Vlads "I'm texting you to let you know I'm ignoring you know and btw the servers at this restaurant(that I'm NOT inviting you too) are HOTTER there you. You are dead to me" high school, petty dramatics bullshit.

He'd HATE it. Everyone, SWEAR it's NOT going to work on him. He is a business mogul for God's sake. A literal genius. One of the most powerful men in the world.

.............what do you MEAN "hotter then him?" Preposterous. He's the most attractive man you'll ever MEET, Masters. And you can't tell him what to do. Maybe he feels like eating out. Mercy, get the car!

They can't STAND each other. But OBVIOUSLY one of them has to WIN. See the other groveling and defeated at their feet. Maybe chains. Why are you looking at them like- * Realizes their plans have taken on a Highly Violent & Homoerotic Subtext* ........this means nothing. NOTHING!

This wedding is making both Phantom and Superman cry. They are bonding over this fresh new traumatizing hell. Superman has promised to punt Phantom into space if Vlad decides he wants to STILL kill his dad after all this is done. Try the poly thing with his new villainous husband and Phantoms mom. They've made a pact to keep the other from drinking at this point but dear God has it gotten close.

Royal weddings are less well attended and cost a fraction. Have fewer criminals... probably. It's devolved into a horrific Gay Chicken/"I won't admit to SH*T unless you do first" situation. Do they even like each other? Want to defeat each other?

They certainly plan to [REDACTED] each other. Possibly assassinate each other after. Or during. The Heros almost feel bad for the mercenaries who DEFINITELY are gonna get dragged into this. Better you then us, they guess. You poor, poor, bastards.

These f*ckers are going to be one upping each other till they DIE. Trying to rob each other blind. Kill, maim, and rip the secrets out off.

......AND they can make Clone Babies. So look forward to their kids.

Welcome to Hell, Heros. The Masters-Luthor Household is a NIGHTMARE FACTORY and God laughs. Mockingly.

(I love them so muuuuuch~☆)

@stealingyourbones

Short DPXDC Prompts #757

Vlad and Lex fake being married to cover up a scheme. This means they have to publicly keep up that appearance… It works a little too well.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 295

So, maybe Danny should have been more specific when he said he wanted to get reincarnated, because this? Is not an ideal situation. 

See he’s fine with being a clone, really, but uh, apparently the scientists want to terminate him- which, like dude, he’s not even melting or actively dying! So what if he failed at their tests, his body is three, give him a break! 

Well, at least it’s given him certainty in getting out, because these are Not good people. He wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt and- hold up, another clone? Brother? Two brothers? One aged up, one in the middle of it- since his own aging-up failed past three? 

Oh hell no, they can’t experiment on his brothers, those are his brothers and living people just as much as he is! Time to break out- and he’s taking those papers thank you- and gonna’ grab his… he’s gonna’ call them his triplets because they’re the same age, just aged differently. 

Now hold his hand, they’re runnin’ to the mountai- oh thank fuck, the physically-oldest of them can fly. To the mountains while they have the cover of night and they can figure things out. At least his life isn’t boring yet…

[faceless-ghostt]

It’s the 19th and he’s still 17, everyone say happy birthday to Tim Drake!!!

he’s my silly lil guy so i did some silly lil panel redraw pages in celebration(thanks to the YJ98 server for helping me pick out the panels)

Happy birthday Tim you absolute loser, have a cake and a good birthday for once

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oh…

Happy birthday Tim

[suzukiblu]

Oh my god way worse advantage is so delightful! Poor Kon hehehe

Superboy would really prefer breakfast be, like, a stack of waffles or a big plate of Loco Moco, or at least an acai bowl or a yogurt parfait or something actually tasty and actually filling, if Luthor had to be the type for “healthy” breakfast shit. This is just . . . real, real bleh-looking. And like, why is so much of the plate just empty? What, is this one of those shitty rich-people restaurants that wanna fuckin’ starve people? 

Also, who the fuck eats asparagus for breakfast? Superboy legitimately did not even know that was a thing, but he immediately hates it as a thing. 

Gross.

[batfamdannyphantomsstuff]

Okay you wanna know what bothers me about a ton of us in the DC fandom? Connor Kent. He was short shafted so hard so much that if his buddy and life/chaos mate Tim went supervillain he wouldn't even question why, just where to aim because Tim and young Justice? Saw for the most part and accepted first he was just a little kid in a grown up body. He wasn't a CLONE of Luthor and Kal-el. He was a Child made of them. That's what a kid is Ffs. A human(ish) made with the genetics of two others as their donors. Not a copy of one or the other but of both mashed together. And the name Kara gave him? What the Fuck my guys. She named him "Unwanted of the House of Hope" what the fuck? Just, the rich ruling class of your original home world had designer babies most of all and yet you're going to be racist on how a Baby was created? Clark you didn't even grow up there, and I bet you my raccoon bone collection that Kal-els dad did Not include the pop culture packet or what the street food on the lower levels tasted like or like Kryptonian pop music since he was ramming all this scientific bullcrap onto the ship. Like no. Connor was just a child with as much or most definitely More Trauma than Clark had at having a Son made out of extra space splooge/blood with your 'Nemisis'

Side note anyone else remember the one 80s ish superman comic where we find out Clark had a Pincer on the end of his alien Dick or "latching on"

[that-girl-glader]

Kenji Kon Headcanons pt.1 (been gatekeeping them)

When he was younger his Dad had very low standards of him, and believed he was incompetent and couldn't do anything. And out of spite Kenji would be as incompetent as possible and be lazy all the time and at a point he just kinda started being "lazy".

Every time he tried to be useful. Like making dinner or cleaning around the house. He ended up messing up, and then he'd burst into tears because it hurts worse when he was 'incompetent' on accident then on purpose. And his dad would just be like "oh Kenji, I wasn't expecting much from you anyways. The maids can do it." In his manipulative soft spoken voice.

Kenji is actually really good at cooking guys. He just never does it. But he would usually hang with the maids and cleaners and cooks who actually gave a damn about him unlike some people. And he gained skills from them. He's just too scared to ever apply them.

He has the worst self confidence, but he acts confident in everything that he does anyways.

The kool aid man is on his "hear me out cake" and "smash cake" for some odd reason. And he is PROUD OF THAT.

He has ADHD actually. But he doesn't know it until his adult years, and it explains so much about him.

He actually really loves reading comics and novels and stuff. And has at some point written fanfiction about *that one detective show* which is also a book because I say so.

Cries watching Bluey. He's favourite characters are Mackenzie and Bandit Heeler (cause he's a good dad).

Cries anytime he sees a healthy dad and child relationship in anything. Bro cried watching finding Nemo for goodness sake.

Percy Jackson's Apollo was his bisexual awakening. Mainly Lester from ToA, and he despised ZEUS mainly because of how shit of a father he is to Apollo. And it made him realise that huh, maybe his father was not a good father. (Let's pretend the timeline for Toa matches with the timeline of his teenage years😭)

Okay technically since ToA wasn't there for him as a teen. Let's just say that Apollo from greek mythology in general was his ACTUAL gay awakening. He knew he was bisexual in his teen years!! Just isn't that verbal about it tho. It happened when he was like 14 and had already read PJO and discovered Apollo fanart. And got real into greek mythology. Fricking bi panicked when he discovered feminine Apollo art and GOSHHHHH!!

He wears a buncha bracelets on his right hand. Half of them are the friendship bracelets the camp fan made eachother, and the others are ones he finds cute. And he has exchanged one with Brooklynn. He also has a black leather bracelet with three beads of the bisexual flag.

Wanted to do ballet when he was younger, but his dad stopped him. Telling him that it would ruin the Kon reputation and he was like eight. So, he cried because of that.

His fav colours are blue and green

[catwouthats]

Oh my gosh I’m so glad dark crisis addressed how weird this was

“Not enough therapy in the world for this” Kon, you are so real

[robinsleeping]

Why does he look traumatized then thrown in a washing machine?

[ambriel-angstwitch]

Kenji: do you ever worry you'll regret things in the future?

Darius: no, I regret everything immediately

[effervescentmelody]

I really, really, really want Ben and Darius to roll up to Kenji's crib to find him like this:

[batcavescolony]

Kon-El at any given time:

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 297

“I feel like we should be concerned about Tim.” 

“Honestly we should always be concerned about him, but what made you realize it this time?” 

“Have you seen his search history- wait no you haven’t you haven’t been in the cave all day, look at this-”

“...'Is it legal to adopt the ghost of a kid? Can someone call CPS on a family’s ghost? How to take care of ghosts 101? How do you get a ghost of a child to not be scared? What to do if you find ghost children in your home? What the fuck…?” 

“Exactly, I think he needs an intervention.” 

Or in other words, after getting thrown into another dimension thanks to the GIW destroying most of Amity, a trio of ghost children decide to crash in this seemingly abandoned apartment building. No one seems to live here anyway… Tim Drake on the other hand, gets a notification that there’s someone in his main safehouse that he might’ve slightly forgotten about thanks to having his house-boat now, and sees a trio of starved looking ghost kids

[thief-of-eggs]

As much as it pains me to say, Bart Allen would love Tiktok.

[wetsandmemories]

I'm them *looking at literally half of dc characters*

[souperfam]

The thing is, if you’re going to constantly bring up that godawful Abomination of the House of El retcon, you could at least do your due diligence and read N52 Supergirl. Actually get the context of that stupid shit and see the resolution of it.

[misspickman]

The thing about the "but do i have a soul" bit in tt03 is it absolutely is plausible as a reaction due to kons intense depression that kind of peaks during this era but 1) it is Not intended that way and i think its stupid to pretend geoff had anything in mind re kon but the ridiculous evil genes storyline, and 2) it is dealt with in the most boring way possible. Anyway point being u can read that as kon being deeply in it but that doesnt take away from how stupid that entire plot was and how geoff clearly didnt do much research when writing it. Also characters are written by people who direct all their thoughts and actions remember that? Wild