#Seduce me with your unethical business practices Luthor!

[evilminji]

*slams open the door* I WAS SUMMONED?! My trash fire ship? My bespoke suit wearing war criminal beloveds? Babies!

And Vlad is the worst bridezilla you have ever known. Lex makes so many marriage planners CRY. They can't agree on SH!T and call each other tacky. The UST is palpable and probably wanted in fifty states for tax evasion. The talk ENTIRELY in Villianous Subtext. So much Fancy Scotch and luxury goods everything.

Like the world's most Unethical Crime Commiting Peacocks.

Except Vlad is needy and you have to pay attention to him NOW and Lex? Haaaates being mocked or ignored. Would ABSOLUTELY fall for Vlads "I'm texting you to let you know I'm ignoring you know and btw the servers at this restaurant(that I'm NOT inviting you too) are HOTTER there you. You are dead to me" high school, petty dramatics bullshit.

He'd HATE it. Everyone, SWEAR it's NOT going to work on him. He is a business mogul for God's sake. A literal genius. One of the most powerful men in the world.

.............what do you MEAN "hotter then him?" Preposterous. He's the most attractive man you'll ever MEET, Masters. And you can't tell him what to do. Maybe he feels like eating out. Mercy, get the car!

They can't STAND each other. But OBVIOUSLY one of them has to WIN. See the other groveling and defeated at their feet. Maybe chains. Why are you looking at them like- * Realizes their plans have taken on a Highly Violent & Homoerotic Subtext* ........this means nothing. NOTHING!

This wedding is making both Phantom and Superman cry. They are bonding over this fresh new traumatizing hell. Superman has promised to punt Phantom into space if Vlad decides he wants to STILL kill his dad after all this is done. Try the poly thing with his new villainous husband and Phantoms mom. They've made a pact to keep the other from drinking at this point but dear God has it gotten close.

Royal weddings are less well attended and cost a fraction. Have fewer criminals... probably. It's devolved into a horrific Gay Chicken/"I won't admit to SH*T unless you do first" situation. Do they even like each other? Want to defeat each other?

They certainly plan to [REDACTED] each other. Possibly assassinate each other after. Or during. The Heros almost feel bad for the mercenaries who DEFINITELY are gonna get dragged into this. Better you then us, they guess. You poor, poor, bastards.

These f*ckers are going to be one upping each other till they DIE. Trying to rob each other blind. Kill, maim, and rip the secrets out off.

......AND they can make Clone Babies. So look forward to their kids.

Welcome to Hell, Heros. The Masters-Luthor Household is a NIGHTMARE FACTORY and God laughs. Mockingly.

(I love them so muuuuuch~☆)

@stealingyourbones

Short DPXDC Prompts #757

Vlad and Lex fake being married to cover up a scheme. This means they have to publicly keep up that appearance… It works a little too well.