#knuckles seizure

[guardian-of-da-gay]

Slurred Words

Read on Ao3

For Whumptober 2024 Prompt 10: Slurred Words

tw for seizures, altered mental state

They were halfway through the movie when Knuckles shifted beside her.

This wasn’t unusual.  If Knuckles wasn’t into a movie, he’d just wander off halfway through.  It used to annoy the heck out of Sonic, who always tried so hard to find a movie Knuckles would actually enjoy.  But they’d gotten past that, so nobody really even looked up when he moved to leave.

Except then he didn’t leave.  He lingered.  Maddie felt his eyes on her and turned to him.  In the lowlighting, his eyes reflected the screen.  His face was scrunched more than his usual scowl.  He looked like he was working through something.  This was not usual at all.  Instantly, she gave him her full attention.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Knuckles hesitated a long moment before he admitted.  “I… need to report something medical.”

That had her sitting up.  “‘Something medical’?  Like what?”

“If you’re gonna puke, you don’t need to report it,” Sonic said on her other side.  “Just book for the bathroom, dude.”

“I do not need to vomit,” Knuckles said sternly.  He turned to Maddie and held up his hands placatingly, his voice softer.  “It is just that I am going to have an attack of shaking and I do not want you to be alarmed.”

“An attack of panic?”  His term for a panic attack.

He shook his head, then blinked rapidly.  “No, shaking .  Everything is blurry and glowing, that is a sign that I will lose consciousness, then I will shake all over–”

“You mean, like a seizure?”

“... I do not know your word for it but–”

“Lie down,” Maddie ordered, jumping to her feet.

“What’s going on?”  Tom asked.

“It’s fine!”  Knuckles tilted his head to look up at her, but she could tell by the way his pupils moved that he wasn’t tracking her face.  “This has happened before.  I will recover–”

“No, lie down before you faint and fall!”  She urged.

“Oh, that’s sensible.”  He actually obeyed.  This was definitely serious.

Tom paused the movie and flipped on the lights.  Ozzie lifted his head from where he’d been napping on the floor.

“What’s happening?” Tails asked, voice tight with anxiety.

“Knuckles thinks he’s gonna have a seizure,” Sonic said.

“Wait, really?”  Tom turned to Maddie, who was shoving their coffee table out of the way to give Knuckles room to lie down.  Ozzie tried to ‘help’ by putting his nose in Knuckles’ face and she shoved him back as well.

“I need a pillow and a timer.”  Usually she had vet techs to grab things for her, but here she had a kid with super speed.

With a blue blur, a pillow appeared in her hand.  Sonic held out the stopwatch on his phone.  “Got it!”

While Tom escorted Ozzie outside, Maddie knelt beside their eldest.  “Lay your head here,”  she said, patting the pillow down.

Knuckles was looking supremely uncomfortable on the floor.  “I will be fine,” he said again, even as he haltingly obeyed.

“How soon after you see the au–the blurry, glowy stuff–do you usually lose consciousness?”  She asked.

“Ah… I am unsure.”  His eyes flit between her and Tom as he knelt on his other side.

“Is he really going to be fine?”  Tails asked in a little voice.

Maddie turned to see him pressed against the side of the couch farthest from them, tails tucked against his legs.  “Honey, why don’t you go upstairs?  It’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Oh, buddy…” Tom in such a soft, sad voice that Maddie immediately forgot her youngest and turned back to Knuckles.

He’d gone completely limp.  He looked so small lying there.  She’d never realized how tensely he carried himself—how big it made him seem—until he was completely slack.

Maddie’s thoughts raced.  Usually all they needed to do was keep him on his side and time the seizure–but Knuckles wasn’t her usual species.  And he had super powers.

“Tom, can you push back the couch?  I don’t know what his powers are going to act like and we might need to get out of the way fast… And just keep back in general.  He won’t be able to control his strength.”

That definitely had Tom moving, and while she hated doing it, she moved too.  No sooner had they moved out of reach, then Knuckles’s arms started to tremble.

“Sonic, start the timer.”

“Okay…”

Knuckles’ head turned toward his shoulder.  The motion was almost unnaturally slow until it suddenly wasn’t .  His body jack-knifed, twisting all the way onto his other side.  His back arched, arms snapped up against his chest, hands shaking violently.  His quills glowed, the light sputtering like a dying flashlight.

“ Oh, buddy …” Tom moaned.  He raised his hands and let them hover over Knuckles’ trembling body, but of course there wasn’t anything he could do.  There wasn’t anything any of them could do.  They just had to let it run its course.

“He’ll be okay,” Maddie said, grasping for the calm she used at the clinic and mostly succeeding (a bottled-up part of her was screaming that this was her kid, God damn it! ).  “He said he’s had them before.  That’s good.”

“It is?”  Sonic asked, deeply skeptical.

“Once you have one seizure, you’re more likely to have another.  And it sounds like he’s pretty used to them… If it were a one-off then I’d be wondering if there was something going on.”

“But why would he have one in the first place?”  Tom asked.

“I don’t know,” Maddie replied honestly.  “Could’ve been a head injury.”  From what she knew of Knuckles’ background that was entirely possible.  

“Like… from getting smashed into some stone steps?”  Sonic asked, unable to keep the anxiety from his voice.

“I don’t know,” Maddie said honestly.  She wanted to tell Sonic that this wasn’t caused by something he’d done, that it was probably older than that.  But the truth was, she didn’t know.  She liked to think Knuckles would have told her if he started having seizures since he’d come to live with them, but he could be so secretive about this sort of thing.

“He might’ve just been born this way,” she finally said.

There was a long pause during which the only sound was the AC kicking on and Knuckles’ shaking limbs thunking against the floor.  He was making small sounds too.  Maddie knew it was involuntary.  That Knuckles wasn’t aware enough right now to be in any pain.  But it was still awful.  The whole thing was awful.

“How long’s it been?”  She asked Sonic.

“Two minutes?!”  Sonic stared at his phone.  “It feels like it’s been two hours !”

“I think he’s slowing down,” Tom said.

“I think so too,” Maddie said, relieved.  It took a few agonizing seconds longer, but eventually Knuckles’ shaking subsided.

“Okay, Sonic, stop the timer please,” she finally allowed herself to glance back.  “Thank you.  You were really brave.”

“That’s me, always ready for any emergency!”  Sonic’s joking tone fell slightly flat.

Maddie glanced behind him.  “One more job,” she said, her heart sinking.  “Give Tails a hug.”

Sonic turned to see Tails, who had not gone upstairs.  He was cowering beside the arm of the couch, tails wrapped tight around his ankles.  His lips pressed together in a tight line, eyes wide and tearful.  He was shaking from head to toe.

Sonic didn’t need to be told twice.  He zipped over and put an arm around Tails’ shoulder.  “Hey, you heard Mom, he’s gonna be fine.”

“That was scary,” Tails said in a tiny, wobbly voice.

“Yeah, it was pretty freaky… but look, he’s already getting up.”

That was fast!

Knuckles blasted away from them.  He immediately smashed into the wall and crumpled to the floor.

Sonic and Tom yelped while Tails gasped.  Outside the back door, Ozzie started barking.  Knuckles made a pained noise, but didn’t get up.  Maddie was up and by her kids’ side in a second.

“Knuckles?  Honey?”  Maddie tried to gently feel his head and neck without moving him.  “Did you hurt yourself?”

Knuckles’ quills flared red.  Sparks danced across his arms and he glowed brighter and brighter.  Tom grabbed her shoulder and pulled just as she jumped back.  Sonic yanked Tails behind the couch.  Red electricity arced off of Knuckles’ body as he bellowed a deafening, “ GUHWAY !”

Knuckles pushed himself up in one jerky movement.  Tom moved to pull her back again, but their little warrior just flopped over.

The whole room paused, waiting for what would come next.  Knuckles didn’t move, though he was breathing like he was running a marathon.  His eyes opened and closed, pupils rolling.  His limbs jerked and he let out a loud, distressed moan.

“Oh, this is worse,” Sonic whispered.

Maddie couldn’t stand back.  She disentangled Tom’s hand from her shirt and returned to Knuckles’ side.  This time, she didn’t touch him.  “Knuckles?”  She lowered her voice and kept the fear from her tone.  “Can you hear me?  It’s Mo–Maddie.”

Knuckles opened one eye and tried to aim it toward her.  His breathing slowed slightly.  “Mamm?”  He murmured.

“Yeah,” Maddie nodded, not sure what he’d meant to say.  “It’s Maddie.  Do you know where you are?”

Knuckles made a wordless sound of distress.

“What’s wrong with him?!”  Tails asked, his voice shaking.

Maddie spared a look over her shoulder to see the fox clutching Sonic, and Sonic pressed against Tom.

“He’ll be fine,” she said. “He just…”  She looked at Tail’s round, fearful eyes.  “His brain hit every button on the keyboard,” she explained.  “We just need to be patient and let him reboot.”

When she turned back to Knuckles he was squinting at the other three.  Reacting to his environment was a good sign.  Although he didn’t seem to actually recognize them.

“Knuckles?  I’m going to touch your…”  She looked him over.  Considering how sturdy he was, he probably hadn’t hurt himself, but he was a pile of tangled limbs.  He couldn’t be comfortable.  “Can I lift you a little?  I’m just going to put the pillow under your head again.”

Knuckles didn’t say anything.  Maddie turned and with a blur of blue the pillow appeared in her hand once more.

“Here…” Tom left the boys to help her untangle their little warrior.  Knuckles didn’t struggle or yell.  He didn’t move much at all other than to lift his head and look around a little.  Maddie wasn’t sure if she thought that was a good sign or not.  They lay him on his side and he looked around a little unsteadily before laying his head on the pillow and closing his eyes.

Maddie sat beside him.  She knew if Knuckles were well he’d never allow it, but she couldn’t resist the motherly urge to gently stroke his head.  She brushed the back of her knuckles over the small safe space at the top of his brow, before his quills started to grow.  The crease in his brow eased somewhat.

Tom went back to Sonic and Tails, quietly checking that they were okay.  Sonic spoke up so she could hear: “Are you sure he’s gonna be okay?”

“Give him thirty minutes to two hours and he should be back to normal,” Maddie said.  “Why don’t you take Tails upstairs for a little while?  We’ll bring Knuckles up when he’s feeling better.”  The offer was partly for their sakes, seeing this was obviously upsetting for both of them.  But it was also for Knuckles.  It had just occurred to her that Knuckles probably wouldn’t want an audience for this.  He was weak and vulnerable like he never was, and while Maddie knew that’s when he needed his family most, she wasn’t sure he would agree.

“I want to stay,” Tails said softly.  “Knuckles wouldn’t leave if it were one of us.”

“Yeah,” Sonic said.  “Besides, the worst part is over, right?  You said he’s going to be fine.”

Knuckles made a soft noise.  “‘M fin now ,” he said without lifting his head or opening his eyes.

“Oh?”  Sonic asked.  “You’re fine now?”

Maddie shook her head slightly.  He definitely wasn’t, but it was very like Knuckles to say that, so she’d count that as a minor victory.  “Okay then,” she said.  “Can you tell me your name?”

“No… Noko’a.”

“Knuckles?”

Knuckles cracked one eye open.  When his gaze fell on her, she could see the recognition in his eye. “Yah,” he says. “Knuksls.”

“Okay… Can you tell me where you are?”

Knuckles blinked several times and then opened both eyes.  “Huss…watussi.”

“Where?”  Tom asked.

Knuckles volume button must’ve not been working just yet… or maybe he was just getting annoyed with them, because he rolled onto his back and yelled at the top of his lungs: “HOUSE Wah-TUCKSI!”

“Got it!  Okay…” Tom shot an apologetic look to Maddie.  “I guess that’s better than him not knowing, right?”

She nodded.  It was definitely better.  His speech would improve, she was sure.  The seizure hadn’t lasted that long, and he’d had them before and obviously bounced back.  She clung on to those two facts.  They just needed to wait and he’d be back to himself.

“Tun the mooby backun.”

They all stared at him.

“You want to watch the movie ?”  Sonic asked, incredulous.

“Yah.”

For the first time since this all started, a ghost of a smile appeared on Sonic’s lips.  “I’m glad you were enjoying it?  But I’m not so sure you could follow along right now.”

“Yeah, just focus on feeling better, okay bud?”  Tom added on.

Knuckles lifted his head to glare.  His eyes were focused and he seemed brighter and more alert by the moment.  If it weren’t for the fact he was still lying on his side on the floor, Maddie would think he was back to himself.

“How about something else?”  She proposed.  “Do you want anything to drink?  A blanket?  Another pillow?”

Knuckles frowned down at the pillow.  He put his hands beneath him and pushed.  Maddie slid a hand under his chest to support him.  He must have needed it because he didn’t protest her help.  Together they got him propped against the damaged wall.  She wedged the pillow against his side to help keep him upright.  When she looked up he was watching her, considering.  Then he answered her question:

“Grapes.”

He said it so clearly, Maddie couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped her.  The tense living room breathed a sigh of relief.

“We can do some grapes,” she said.  They still had a half a bag in the fridge.

Maddie held out her hand and with a blue blur the bag of grapes appeared.

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

What Went Wrong

AI-Less Whumptober 2023: 1. Poisoned, 8. Seizure, 14. Bleeding Through the Bandage, 21. Near-Death Experience, 30. Coma, Alt. Prompt: Bloody Knuckles Fandom: DC, The Suicide Squad, Rick Flag, f!reader Summary: After a mission goes spectacularly wrong, Rick is forced to relay what happened, no matter how painful it is for him to relive it. Word Count: 5033 TW: Poison, Mentions of Death, Blood/Bleeding, Seizure, Hospital, Language, Rick is taller than Reader Note: Written for @ailesswhumptober's event. Thank you to the anon who requested Bloody Knuckled with Rick! It was really a wonderful inspiration! And thank you to @loverhymeswith for all the support and beta reading for me! 💖

Colonel Rick Flag sat in the small break room—now a makeshift interrogation room—oblivious to the world around him. All he could do was stare blankly down at his busted, swollen knuckles and watch as his blood slowly reddened the gauze he couldn’t remember someone wrapping them in. Apparently, someone had also given him something for the pain, but it was doing little to stop the throbbing ache that seemed to intensify with every beat of his heart. Yet, he sort of liked it. It gave him something to focus on, to ground him, even as everything else around him lay in ruins. 

Gritting his teeth, he balled his left hand into as much of a fist as the swelling and bandaging would allow, and almost blacked out as every nerve running from his hand up his arm screamed out in excruciating agony. Squeezing his eyes together tightly, he stifled a groan of pain as he forced himself to maintain the fist. 

Focus on the physical pain. Just focus on the physical pain. Let everythin’ else slip away until there is nothin’ but this pain.

“Colonel Flag….Colonel….Sir—”

“Flag!” 

Waller’s sharp tone cut through his fog and Rick’s fist instinctively uncurled, lessening the pain to a point where he once again became aware of his surroundings. Blinking, he looked up to stare at the pair in front of him in a slight daze. “W-what?”

Waller nodded at the other man who shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he cleared his throat and glanced down at the stack of papers in front of him. “Uh, yes, well, I understand this may be difficult for you but we need to get your official statement on what happened for the record.”

Rick sighed as he scratched at the gauze on his hand. “Do we really have to do this right now? I got better places to be.”

The man shot him an apologetic smile. “I understand that but the less time that passes between the event and the report, the more accurate it is. And considering there were numerous asset casualties, we need this to be as accurate as possible to avoid any liabilities.”

“Assets and liabilities,” Rick spat, the words like ash in his mouth. “That’s all any of them are to you, isn’t it? Numbers on a page to use how you want. But the members of Task Force X are people. Yeah, people who made some wrong choices or did horrible things, but that doesn’t mean they are just fodder you can throw at your problems.”

“It wasn’t so long ago that you too viewed your squad members as nothing more than that,” Waller said coldly, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes completely devoid of all emotion. “I wonder, did your view on them change before or after you started crawling into one of their beds?”

Rick leaped to his feet, his metal chair clanging loudly on the hard tile as it toppled over. The man jumped and cowered back in surprise, but Waller didn’t even flinch. Instead, she continued to stare Rick down, daring him to try and make a move against her. But they both knew what would happen if he did….

Recognizing he was in an impossible situation, Rick could only point at Waller and snarl, “You leave her out of this. Whatever relationship we might have didn’t affect what happened on the mission. And what I do on my own time is my own business.”

“Maybe, but you fucked her while she was my prisoner, which makes it my business.”

Before Rick could snap back, the man cleared his throat, his face bright red behind his glasses, and he reached for one of his papers. Scanning it, he asked, “Excuse me but are you confirming you had an intimate relationship with Belle Reve prisoner 0806?”

Rick turned his attention to the man, anger gleaming in his hazel eyes. This just proved his point. To them, you were nothing more than a faceless number, something to be used when convenient then tossed back into a cell like the other thousand inmates of Belle Reve. 

“Yes,” Rick said through gritted teeth as the man began to write something on his papers. “After several assignments together, a connection developed and we became romantically then intimately involved.”

The man paused his scribbling and glanced up as Waller began slowly walking around to stand behind Rick. “‘Romantically’...so this relationship between you and this inmate was more than just physical?”

A thousand moments with you unwillingly flashed through Rick’s mind: your head resting on his shoulder as you slept on the flight home from a mission; the determined glare on your face as you fought off a swarm of enemies all by yourself; the way he didn't need to say a word for you to know exactly what he needed; the pure adoration in your eyes as he settled between your legs on your tiny prison cot. How could he not have fallen in love with you?

Rick once again tightened his hand into a loose fist as he growled, “Why the fuck does it matter right now? However you define it, it didn’t affect the mission at all.”

“Given how the evacuation team found you, sir, one might say differently.” Rick began to rise up out of his seat but the man put up his hands. “I’m sorry. I have to ask these kinds of questions so we can get the full picture of what went on in that lab. It’s in your best interest as well as ours if you can be as honest and detailed as possible so we have all the information when presenting our findings. Right now, the depth of your relationship with this inmate only matters to me if it caused some sort of misconduct during the mission that led to its failure. Otherwise, I don’t care what the two of you have been up to or how you feel about each other, I promise.”

Rick could feel Waller’s eyes burning a hole in the back of his head and he knew that she felt very differently. If she had her way, he would be court-martialed immediately. Not because he had been sleeping with you or because he loved you—no, he was certain she already knew about that. But now that it was public knowledge the head of her pride-and-joy task force was sleeping with one of its criminal assets presumedly right under her nose, it would put a black mark not only on the squad but on her as well. And that was not something Waller took lightly. 

But for now, she wasn’t his main concern. He needed to get out of this room and upstairs as soon as possible. So, he nodded to the man and motioned for him to continue with his questions.

“Thank you.” The man gave Rick a small smile and looked back down at his papers. After scanning them for a minute, he looked at Rick and said, “Now then, Colonel, to the best of your recollection, can you tell us what happened? What went wrong?”

What went wrong….. It was the thought that had been plaguing Rick for the past twenty-four hours. He had replayed the entire mission over and over in his head trying to figure out what he could have done differently to save his team…..to save you.

It was supposed to be a textbook in-and-out mission with no foreseeable complications. An underground lab was developing a new weapon that could be catastrophic in the wrong hands—which included the scientists developing it. Though hidden, the lab didn’t appear to have more than the most basic levels of security and it seemed like a cakewalk for a small team to go in, destroy the research and weapon, and secure any scientists on site.

Because of this, it was determined this would be a good chance to break in the newest recruits to Task Force X and Rick found himself leading a team comprised almost entirely of untrained, terrified ex-criminals who wouldn’t shut up or fall into line. Before they even got off the plane, he was ready to detonate every last one of their nanite bombs.

Luckily, you had been allowed to tag along to help keep everyone under control….including Rick. Even if no one realized how deeply the connection between the two of you went, it was obvious that you had a way of calming him down and centering him even in the most dangerous or stressful of situations. Rick pretended to hate the idea that he needed someone to manage him but honestly, he didn’t mind as long as it meant he got to spend more time with you.

On your very first mission with Task Force X, Rick noticed you were special and unlike anyone he had met before. And by the third mission, he had you pressed against a wall in a dark alley as you shoved your tongue down his throat. Since then, he would do whatever he could to be near you, including bribing the guards to turn off the cameras in your cell for a few hours once or twice a month—and still it wasn’t enough. He was counting down the missions until you earned your freedom and he could have you in his bed every night without having to leave.

And this mission would bring that dream one step closer to a reality.

Once inside the building, Rick sent the rest of the Squad to destroy everything in the labs (he figured they could handle unbridled destruction without needing supervision) while you went with him to find the mainframe and extract any information you could before wiping it. 

The plan seemed to be going perfectly until you and Rick finished your assignment and were heading back to the rendezvous point. Just as you reached the lab’s exit, there was a whirring sound and a pair of thick, metal doors slammed shut inches in front of Rick’s face. You spun around to try to rush back the way you came, but another door slid shut, blocking your retreat. 

“Damn it!” Rick yelled as he slammed his fist against the thick metal door. Sighing, he picked up his radio to call into headquarters. Usually, they would all be on earpieces, but since it was supposed to be such a simple mission, they had forgone them this time. “Control, this is Flag. Do you copy?”

The radio crackled to life. “We copy, Flag. Did you complete your mission?”

“Affirmative, Harcourt. But on the way to the rendezvous, we got cut off. We are trapped between two metal doors and I can’t see a way out. Requestin’ an extraction team to come get us.”

“Launching extraction team now. ETA is approximately fifteen minutes. Stand by.” 

“Copy.” Rick slipped the radio back into his cargo pocket and shrugged at you. “Well, I guess we just wait. At least we have a few minutes alone together until they show up.”

Looking around at the tight space you were now trapped in, you took a step closer, pressed your palms against Rick’s back, and leaned against him as you whispered, “Rick…I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Ah hell, darlin’,” Rick muttered. “Now why’d you have to say somethin’ like that?”

Suddenly, the sprinkler heads on the ceiling sprang to life, and a mysterious liquid sprayed down on you. It was clear like water but had an oily consistency and a bitter, acidic smell to it. Rick spun around, grabbed your arm, and pulled you tight against his chest trying to use his large form to shield you from as much of it as possible but it was of little use. Soon, you were both drenched from head to toe. 

It lasted for less than a minute before the sprinklers turned off once again. Lifting your head from where you had buried it in Rick’s chest, you glanced around before muttering, “What the fuck was that about?”

“I don’t know. But I think we should get outta here before we find out.” Rick turned back to the metal door and began examining it for any sort of weak point or hidden switch.

From behind him, he heard you audibly shiver and he glanced back to see you rubbing your hands over your still dripping arms trying to warm yourself up. He wished he had something to give you but he doubted his soaked tact jacket would provide you any warmth. Either the extraction team needed to hurry up or he needed to get you both out of here as soon as possible. 

However, just as he began to turn back to the door, there was a burst of static from above you, and a voice called out from a hidden speaker, “So, this must be the current iteration of Task Force X. Welcome!” You and Rick exchanged a nervous glance as the voice continued. “I had a feeling Waller would track me down eventually, and it looks like I was right. Good thing I took precautions.”

“Who the hell are you?” Rick called out as his eyes scanned the ceiling trying to locate where the voice was coming from.

“She didn’t tell you? She just sent you out on a mission without briefing you on what you were walking into?” The voice scoffed. “Why am I not surprised? Well, let me introduce myself. I used to be one of the head research and developers at ARGUS before Waller got everything she wanted from me and tried to have me arrested despite the fact everything I did was under her orders. You see, I’m the guy who developed the technology that made the nanite bombs possible, including that one currently residing in your girlfriend’s head.”

You gasped as your eyes grew wide and your hand flew to the side of your neck, your finger tracing the small bump just under your skin that Rick knew was there. His eyes met yours and he knew you were both thinking the same thing: If this maniac invented the bombs then chances were….

Rick glared up at the ceiling and roared, “Now listen here you bastard—”

“I can’t detonate it if that’s what you’re worried about,” the voice calmly interrupted. “Waller is smart enough to change the frequency for every mission which means I, unfortunately, can’t access them. However, I had a feeling she would kick me to the curb once she had my technology so I neglected to tell her about the one flaw in my design. The unintended way to weaponize them. The one I just set in motion.”

A chill ran down Rick’s spine. “What are you talkin’ about? What did you do!”

“Rick…” Your fingers dug into his arm as you reached for him, your shivering intensifying—but whether that was from cold or fear, Rick didn’t know.

“The bombs are not the only thing injected into the subjects,” the voice continued. “A small amount of a typically harmless chemical surrounds it to help the body not reject the foreign object or start breaking it down. I say ‘typically harmless’ because it only becomes toxic when mixed with another rare compound….the same compound that was just released from the sprinkler system moments ago.”

“What did you do to me?” you asked, addressing the voice directly for the first time. “What’s going to happen?”

“Oh, not just you, my dear. Those sprinklers went off all over the building so I’m sorry to say your entire team is about to suffer the same fate as you…except for the Colonel that is. Or did Waller implant a bomb into you as well? It wouldn’t surprise me if she did.”

“Shut the fuck up and just tell us how to stop this!”

“Yeah, I’m not going to do that. I need Waller to pay for what she did to me and show her she was wrong for ever doubting my abilities. And the best way to do that is by eliminating part of her precious Task Force X. I am sorry you had to be a casualty of our war but just like any game of chess, pawns get sacrificed. I would hurry up and say your goodbyes if I were you. The toxin forming in her blood should begin to take effect any time now and her body will destroy itself before your backup arrives. But Colonel….tell Waller I said hello.” 

The speaker crackled out, leaving the two of you standing in a horrified silence. Rick’s mind was spinning with everything he had just heard. What the voice said couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t be. After all, Waller would have known about it.

“Rick?”

Waller was the one who came up with Task Force X and she oversaw every single detail as it came to fruition. She couldn’t have overlooked something like this….could she?

“Rick.”

But then again, what if she had? She wasn’t a scientist and wouldn’t understand all the uses of the different chemicals they were using with the technology. So what if the voice wasn’t lying and you only had a few minutes before—

“Rick!”

He whirled around to see you slumped against the far wall, your eyes wide as you wiped your fingers under your nose and watched them come away bloody, a bright smear still left on your face as more began to trickle out of your nose. 

“No….”

He closed the distance between you in two long strides and took your face between his large hands. Your body was shaking slightly as you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and your voice broke as you said, “Rick, I can feel it. It’s already happening. Oh God—” you frantically grabbed onto his wrists as his hands still cupped your face “—I’m scared. I’m not ready to die. Not now. Not when I’ve found—” The rest of your words were lost as you broke down sobbing.

Rick pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you tightly. Resting his chin on the top of your head and rubbing soothing circles across your back, he whispered, “It’s okay, darlin’. You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you outta here and get you help, you hear me? I can’t lose you either so I need you to fight. Fight and just hold on, for as long as you can. We’re gonna get outta here…together.”

He felt you nod into his chest and gently moved you away to look at you. Red-tinted tears trailed down your cheeks and more blood was smeared under your nose. Rick glanced down and saw some of it had wiped off on his jacket, but it didn’t matter. He bent down and pressed his lips furiously against yours—trying to ignore the metallic taste of blood coating your lips— then turned back towards the exit door. 

He had already searched every inch of it for some sort of switch but maybe he could pry it open. Rick tried to get his fingernails to dig into the seam where the two doors met, but the seal was just too strong. Maybe if he could find something to wedge between them….

As he quickly scanned the room for something—anything—he could use, he saw you clutch your chest as you began to cough. It started out small, like just clearing your throat. However, within what seemed like seconds, it had evolved into a wheezy, rattling hack that wracked your entire body. Rick watched helplessly as fresh blood sprayed across the floor as a particularly deep cough forced you to double over.  

As it subsided and you looked up at him, he inhaled sharply as he saw blood now not only trickling from your nose but from your eyes and mouth too. You tried to say something—it seemed like his name—however, from your rasping gasps, it was clear you weren’t getting enough air to breathe properly, let alone speak. 

“No…” Rick couldn’t believe he was being forced to stand here and watch you die with no way to save you. “No!”

Throwing his entire weight behind it, Rick smashed his fist into the metal door. Logically deep down he knew there was no way he would ever be able to punch his way through it, but right now, logic was the furthest thing from his mind. Instead, he wound back and drove his other fist into the door. 

Over and over again, he pounded at the metal, ignoring the pain as he felt his skin split and bones crack. The door was now smeared with the blood from his ruined knuckles but it was nothing compared to the blood that was spilling from you just behind him. Hearing you struggling and in pain yet knowing he was helpless to stop it was too much for him and he increased the strength of each blow.

It was only when he saw you collapse to the floor as your body began thrashing and convulsing that Rick abandoned his fruitless attempts at breaking through the door and he dropped to his knees beside you. Pulling your writhing body into his lap, he held you tightly against him and pressed his lips against your ear, muttering empty promises that everything was going to be alright. 

As you continued to seize, blood began to flow more steadily from your eyes, nose, and mouth. Your eyes rolled back into your head as your back arched and your entire body went rigid. You seemed to hold that pose for a moment, the entire room suddenly dead silent. Then, slowly and with one extended exhale, your body relaxed against his and your head lolled to the side. 

Ice spread through Rick’s veins as he stared at your motionless form. No. This couldn’t be happenin’. Not to you. Please God, not you. 

He gently took your face between his hands and turned it so he could see you better. Several trails of blood streaked down your face and though your eyes were mostly closed, he could just make out the dulled, faded color beneath your lids. And though you were lying on his chest, all he felt was an unnatural stillness—no heartbeat, no intake of breath. You were gone.

Tears began to stream down Rick’s cheeks as he buried his face in the top of your head. And though he knew you couldn’t hear him, he softly whispered, “Please, darlin’, come back to me. I need you and I love you and I can’t do this without you. So, please….come back.”

And that’s how Waller’s extraction team found the two of you moments later: Colonel Rick Flag with tears in his eyes as he clung to the limp body of one of the Belle Reve inmates.

Since that moment, Rick had been going on some sort of autopilot, letting himself be shuffled from place to place and doing what he was told. But now that his official statement had been taken and he had been released, there was only one place he needed to be. So, taking the hospital elevator up to the third floor, he stepped out onto the intensive care unit and followed the signs towards his destination. 

When he reached the end of the hall, Rick stared through the window into the hospital room, his forehead pressed against the glass as he struggled to maintain some sort of composure. He could barely see your face past the countless machines and equipment hooked up to you in an effort to keep you alive. 

By the time Waller’s extraction team had shown up and somehow managed to revive you, the poison had done its job and destroyed or seriously damaged most of your internal organs. It was a miracle the doctors were able to keep you alive this long, even if machines now controlled every aspect of your life support. The rest of the Task Force who had been in a different area of the building hadn’t been so lucky. The two of you were the only survivors—if you could call it that.

The doctors had done everything they could to save you and now the rest was up to you. Rick had heard the full spectrum of possible prognoses ranging from you making a full recovery to you being incapable of cognitive thought or movement—and all of it was dependent on you waking up which was an uncertainty on its own.

But for now, you lay motionless in your hospital bed just as you had for the past twenty-four hours. 

Fury boiled in his gut as Rick’s eyes landed on the pair of handcuffs chaining you to the bed. Did they seriously expect you to jump up and sneak out of the hospital? Your heart was struggling to beat without assistance and air was constantly having to be forced into your lungs yet they had to make sure you wouldn’t miraculously make a daring escape. It made Rick sick. As did the fact he wasn’t permitted to be in the room with you. All he wanted was to hold your hand or press a soft kiss to your forehead, but Waller made sure no one except for her and the doctors were allowed in. Just another one of her attempts to punish him.

As if summoned by the very thought of her name, footsteps echoed off the tiles behind him growing louder and louder until Waller stepped into Rick’s peripheral vision. He ignored her, instead keeping his gaze firmly locked on you, and Waller seemed to do the same. 

For several minutes, they stood in complete silence, the sounds of your rasping breathing and the beeping of machines the only sound in the dim hallway. Finally, without turning, Rick asked, “Did you know?”

“I know a lot of things, Flag, but you’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Did you know the chemicals in the nanites could be used like that?”

Waller was silent for a moment before she answered curtly, “No. We knew about the chemical surrounding the bombs of course, but we were not aware it could be turned into a weapon. Our lab is already researching alternatives.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure my team would be thrilled to hear that if they weren’t all currently down in the morgue.”

“Mistakes happen, people die. But that’s why we formed Task Force X. Nobody cares when those dying are criminals.” Waller’s eyes shifted slightly from the window to Rick and back again. “With a few exceptions.”

Rick clenched his fist at her words then immediately regretted it as a sharp bolt of pain ran up his arm from his busted knuckles. He wanted nothing more than to make Waller feel the pain he was feeling. For her to understand how much he cared about you. But he knew nothing he did would make a difference. If anything, it would only make it worse. 

Taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, he asked, “So…what happens now?”

Folding her arms over her chest, Waller said, “Despite my objections, the board determined you did nothing wrong on the mission. They said there was nothing you could have done differently to save your team and you are not responsible for their deaths and thus will not receive any formal reprimand or punishment. However–” Waller raised one eyebrow as she glared at Rick “–I have not forgotten your…indiscretion with her and it will not be overlooked.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t known about us since the very start. You’ve just been waitin’ for the moment it best suited your interests to bring it up,” Rick growled. “I don’t care what you do to me but when she’s better I want her released from Belle Reve. She only had thirty years left on her sentence—twenty after this mission. And this….this more than makes up for the rest of her time.”

“Possibly,” Waller said thoughtfully. “First, we have to wait and see if she even pulls through, then we can have that discussion. But until that happens, I expect you to do your job.” She slapped a file down on the ledge of the window. “Your next assignment. You leave tomorrow and you better be on the tarmac on time. Otherwise all of this–” she gestured to the hospital equipment surrounding them “–goes away. Do we understand each other?”

Rick clenched his jaw tightly as he just barely managed to hold back the slew of curses he wanted to direct at his boss but he knew that was exactly what she was hoping for. So instead, he gritted his teeth and in his most Southern twang said, “Yes, Ma’am.”

The “fuck you” was loud and clear in his tone but Waller thankfully ignored it. Shooting him one last glare, she turned sharply and began marching back down the hall. However, Rick called after her, “And I want those cuffs taken off of her. Now.”

Without turning or breaking her stride, Waller replied, “When are you going to learn, Flag? You don’t call the shots around here. I do.” Then she turned down another hall and disappeared from sight.

Sighing, Rick gazed back at your unconscious form. Pressing his hand against the glass, he whispered, “It’ll be alright, darlin’, I promise you that. You don’t worry about anythin’ except gettin’ better and wakin’ up. You do that, and I’ll take care of the rest. And no matter what happens or how bad things are when you do wake up, I’ll be right by your side for all of it, Waller be damned. ‘Cause I love you, now and forever.”

He waited, hoping beyond hope you had heard his words and they helped rouse you from your sleep. But this wasn’t some feel-good movie or romance novel where his bedside pleas would make everything better and you would wake up to fall into his arms once again. No, this was real life and in real life, people didn’t get their happily-ever-afters. 

At least…..not yet. As long as your heart was still beating—artificially or not— there was hope. And for now, hope was going to have to be enough.

Tag List: @loverhymeswith, @green-socks, @yespolkadotkitty,  @heresathreebee, @tavners, @merlehs, @sunshineflowerchild789, @mayhem24-7forever, @lovearne, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @that-sarcastic-writer, @indig0nebula, @katjnordstrom96, @wildbornsiren, @princessmisery666, @writercole

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

What Went Wrong

AI-Less Whumptober 2023: 1. Poisoned, 8. Seizure, 14. Bleeding Through the Bandage, 21. Near-Death Experience, 30. Coma, Alt. Prompt: Bloody Knuckles Fandom: DC, The Suicide Squad, Rick Flag, f!reader Summary: After a mission goes spectacularly wrong, Rick is forced to relay what happened, no matter how painful it is for him to relive it. Word Count: 5033 TW: Poison, Mentions of Death, Blood/Bleeding, Seizure, Hospital, Language, Rick is taller than Reader Note: Written for @ailesswhumptober's event. Thank you to the anon who requested Bloody Knuckled with Rick! It was really a wonderful inspiration! And thank you to @loverhymeswith for all the support and beta reading for me! 💖

Colonel Rick Flag sat in the small break room—now a makeshift interrogation room—oblivious to the world around him. All he could do was stare blankly down at his busted, swollen knuckles and watch as his blood slowly reddened the gauze he couldn’t remember someone wrapping them in. Apparently, someone had also given him something for the pain, but it was doing little to stop the throbbing ache that seemed to intensify with every beat of his heart. Yet, he sort of liked it. It gave him something to focus on, to ground him, even as everything else around him lay in ruins. 

Gritting his teeth, he balled his left hand into as much of a fist as the swelling and bandaging would allow, and almost blacked out as every nerve running from his hand up his arm screamed out in excruciating agony. Squeezing his eyes together tightly, he stifled a groan of pain as he forced himself to maintain the fist. 

Focus on the physical pain. Just focus on the physical pain. Let everythin’ else slip away until there is nothin’ but this pain.

“Colonel Flag….Colonel….Sir—”

“Flag!” 

Waller’s sharp tone cut through his fog and Rick’s fist instinctively uncurled, lessening the pain to a point where he once again became aware of his surroundings. Blinking, he looked up to stare at the pair in front of him in a slight daze. “W-what?”

Waller nodded at the other man who shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he cleared his throat and glanced down at the stack of papers in front of him. “Uh, yes, well, I understand this may be difficult for you but we need to get your official statement on what happened for the record.”

Rick sighed as he scratched at the gauze on his hand. “Do we really have to do this right now? I got better places to be.”

The man shot him an apologetic smile. “I understand that but the less time that passes between the event and the report, the more accurate it is. And considering there were numerous asset casualties, we need this to be as accurate as possible to avoid any liabilities.”

“Assets and liabilities,” Rick spat, the words like ash in his mouth. “That’s all any of them are to you, isn’t it? Numbers on a page to use how you want. But the members of Task Force X are people. Yeah, people who made some wrong choices or did horrible things, but that doesn’t mean they are just fodder you can throw at your problems.”

“It wasn’t so long ago that you too viewed your squad members as nothing more than that,” Waller said coldly, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes completely devoid of all emotion. “I wonder, did your view on them change before or after you started crawling into one of their beds?”

Rick leaped to his feet, his metal chair clanging loudly on the hard tile as it toppled over. The man jumped and cowered back in surprise, but Waller didn’t even flinch. Instead, she continued to stare Rick down, daring him to try and make a move against her. But they both knew what would happen if he did….

Recognizing he was in an impossible situation, Rick could only point at Waller and snarl, “You leave her out of this. Whatever relationship we might have didn’t affect what happened on the mission. And what I do on my own time is my own business.”

“Maybe, but you fucked her while she was my prisoner, which makes it my business.”

Before Rick could snap back, the man cleared his throat, his face bright red behind his glasses, and he reached for one of his papers. Scanning it, he asked, “Excuse me but are you confirming you had an intimate relationship with Belle Reve prisoner 0806?”

Rick turned his attention to the man, anger gleaming in his hazel eyes. This just proved his point. To them, you were nothing more than a faceless number, something to be used when convenient then tossed back into a cell like the other thousand inmates of Belle Reve. 

“Yes,” Rick said through gritted teeth as the man began to write something on his papers. “After several assignments together, a connection developed and we became romantically then intimately involved.”

The man paused his scribbling and glanced up as Waller began slowly walking around to stand behind Rick. “‘Romantically’...so this relationship between you and this inmate was more than just physical?”

A thousand moments with you unwillingly flashed through Rick’s mind: your head resting on his shoulder as you slept on the flight home from a mission; the determined glare on your face as you fought off a swarm of enemies all by yourself; the way he didn't need to say a word for you to know exactly what he needed; the pure adoration in your eyes as he settled between your legs on your tiny prison cot. How could he not have fallen in love with you?

Rick once again tightened his hand into a loose fist as he growled, “Why the fuck does it matter right now? However you define it, it didn’t affect the mission at all.”

“Given how the evacuation team found you, sir, one might say differently.” Rick began to rise up out of his seat but the man put up his hands. “I’m sorry. I have to ask these kinds of questions so we can get the full picture of what went on in that lab. It’s in your best interest as well as ours if you can be as honest and detailed as possible so we have all the information when presenting our findings. Right now, the depth of your relationship with this inmate only matters to me if it caused some sort of misconduct during the mission that led to its failure. Otherwise, I don’t care what the two of you have been up to or how you feel about each other, I promise.”

Rick could feel Waller’s eyes burning a hole in the back of his head and he knew that she felt very differently. If she had her way, he would be court-martialed immediately. Not because he had been sleeping with you or because he loved you—no, he was certain she already knew about that. But now that it was public knowledge the head of her pride-and-joy task force was sleeping with one of its criminal assets presumedly right under her nose, it would put a black mark not only on the squad but on her as well. And that was not something Waller took lightly. 

But for now, she wasn’t his main concern. He needed to get out of this room and upstairs as soon as possible. So, he nodded to the man and motioned for him to continue with his questions.

“Thank you.” The man gave Rick a small smile and looked back down at his papers. After scanning them for a minute, he looked at Rick and said, “Now then, Colonel, to the best of your recollection, can you tell us what happened? What went wrong?”

What went wrong….. It was the thought that had been plaguing Rick for the past twenty-four hours. He had replayed the entire mission over and over in his head trying to figure out what he could have done differently to save his team…..to save you.

It was supposed to be a textbook in-and-out mission with no foreseeable complications. An underground lab was developing a new weapon that could be catastrophic in the wrong hands—which included the scientists developing it. Though hidden, the lab didn’t appear to have more than the most basic levels of security and it seemed like a cakewalk for a small team to go in, destroy the research and weapon, and secure any scientists on site.

Because of this, it was determined this would be a good chance to break in the newest recruits to Task Force X and Rick found himself leading a team comprised almost entirely of untrained, terrified ex-criminals who wouldn’t shut up or fall into line. Before they even got off the plane, he was ready to detonate every last one of their nanite bombs.

Luckily, you had been allowed to tag along to help keep everyone under control….including Rick. Even if no one realized how deeply the connection between the two of you went, it was obvious that you had a way of calming him down and centering him even in the most dangerous or stressful of situations. Rick pretended to hate the idea that he needed someone to manage him but honestly, he didn’t mind as long as it meant he got to spend more time with you.

On your very first mission with Task Force X, Rick noticed you were special and unlike anyone he had met before. And by the third mission, he had you pressed against a wall in a dark alley as you shoved your tongue down his throat. Since then, he would do whatever he could to be near you, including bribing the guards to turn off the cameras in your cell for a few hours once or twice a month—and still it wasn’t enough. He was counting down the missions until you earned your freedom and he could have you in his bed every night without having to leave.

And this mission would bring that dream one step closer to a reality.

Once inside the building, Rick sent the rest of the Squad to destroy everything in the labs (he figured they could handle unbridled destruction without needing supervision) while you went with him to find the mainframe and extract any information you could before wiping it. 

The plan seemed to be going perfectly until you and Rick finished your assignment and were heading back to the rendezvous point. Just as you reached the lab’s exit, there was a whirring sound and a pair of thick, metal doors slammed shut inches in front of Rick’s face. You spun around to try to rush back the way you came, but another door slid shut, blocking your retreat. 

“Damn it!” Rick yelled as he slammed his fist against the thick metal door. Sighing, he picked up his radio to call into headquarters. Usually, they would all be on earpieces, but since it was supposed to be such a simple mission, they had forgone them this time. “Control, this is Flag. Do you copy?”

The radio crackled to life. “We copy, Flag. Did you complete your mission?”

“Affirmative, Harcourt. But on the way to the rendezvous, we got cut off. We are trapped between two metal doors and I can’t see a way out. Requestin’ an extraction team to come get us.”

“Launching extraction team now. ETA is approximately fifteen minutes. Stand by.” 

“Copy.” Rick slipped the radio back into his cargo pocket and shrugged at you. “Well, I guess we just wait. At least we have a few minutes alone together until they show up.”

Looking around at the tight space you were now trapped in, you took a step closer, pressed your palms against Rick’s back, and leaned against him as you whispered, “Rick…I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Ah hell, darlin’,” Rick muttered. “Now why’d you have to say somethin’ like that?”

Suddenly, the sprinkler heads on the ceiling sprang to life, and a mysterious liquid sprayed down on you. It was clear like water but had an oily consistency and a bitter, acidic smell to it. Rick spun around, grabbed your arm, and pulled you tight against his chest trying to use his large form to shield you from as much of it as possible but it was of little use. Soon, you were both drenched from head to toe. 

It lasted for less than a minute before the sprinklers turned off once again. Lifting your head from where you had buried it in Rick’s chest, you glanced around before muttering, “What the fuck was that about?”

“I don’t know. But I think we should get outta here before we find out.” Rick turned back to the metal door and began examining it for any sort of weak point or hidden switch.

From behind him, he heard you audibly shiver and he glanced back to see you rubbing your hands over your still dripping arms trying to warm yourself up. He wished he had something to give you but he doubted his soaked tact jacket would provide you any warmth. Either the extraction team needed to hurry up or he needed to get you both out of here as soon as possible. 

However, just as he began to turn back to the door, there was a burst of static from above you, and a voice called out from a hidden speaker, “So, this must be the current iteration of Task Force X. Welcome!” You and Rick exchanged a nervous glance as the voice continued. “I had a feeling Waller would track me down eventually, and it looks like I was right. Good thing I took precautions.”

“Who the hell are you?” Rick called out as his eyes scanned the ceiling trying to locate where the voice was coming from.

“She didn’t tell you? She just sent you out on a mission without briefing you on what you were walking into?” The voice scoffed. “Why am I not surprised? Well, let me introduce myself. I used to be one of the head research and developers at ARGUS before Waller got everything she wanted from me and tried to have me arrested despite the fact everything I did was under her orders. You see, I’m the guy who developed the technology that made the nanite bombs possible, including that one currently residing in your girlfriend’s head.”

You gasped as your eyes grew wide and your hand flew to the side of your neck, your finger tracing the small bump just under your skin that Rick knew was there. His eyes met yours and he knew you were both thinking the same thing: If this maniac invented the bombs then chances were….

Rick glared up at the ceiling and roared, “Now listen here you bastard—”

“I can’t detonate it if that’s what you’re worried about,” the voice calmly interrupted. “Waller is smart enough to change the frequency for every mission which means I, unfortunately, can’t access them. However, I had a feeling she would kick me to the curb once she had my technology so I neglected to tell her about the one flaw in my design. The unintended way to weaponize them. The one I just set in motion.”

A chill ran down Rick’s spine. “What are you talkin’ about? What did you do!”

“Rick…” Your fingers dug into his arm as you reached for him, your shivering intensifying—but whether that was from cold or fear, Rick didn’t know.

“The bombs are not the only thing injected into the subjects,” the voice continued. “A small amount of a typically harmless chemical surrounds it to help the body not reject the foreign object or start breaking it down. I say ‘typically harmless’ because it only becomes toxic when mixed with another rare compound….the same compound that was just released from the sprinkler system moments ago.”

“What did you do to me?” you asked, addressing the voice directly for the first time. “What’s going to happen?”

“Oh, not just you, my dear. Those sprinklers went off all over the building so I’m sorry to say your entire team is about to suffer the same fate as you…except for the Colonel that is. Or did Waller implant a bomb into you as well? It wouldn’t surprise me if she did.”

“Shut the fuck up and just tell us how to stop this!”

“Yeah, I’m not going to do that. I need Waller to pay for what she did to me and show her she was wrong for ever doubting my abilities. And the best way to do that is by eliminating part of her precious Task Force X. I am sorry you had to be a casualty of our war but just like any game of chess, pawns get sacrificed. I would hurry up and say your goodbyes if I were you. The toxin forming in her blood should begin to take effect any time now and her body will destroy itself before your backup arrives. But Colonel….tell Waller I said hello.” 

The speaker crackled out, leaving the two of you standing in a horrified silence. Rick’s mind was spinning with everything he had just heard. What the voice said couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t be. After all, Waller would have known about it.

“Rick?”

Waller was the one who came up with Task Force X and she oversaw every single detail as it came to fruition. She couldn’t have overlooked something like this….could she?

“Rick.”

But then again, what if she had? She wasn’t a scientist and wouldn’t understand all the uses of the different chemicals they were using with the technology. So what if the voice wasn’t lying and you only had a few minutes before—

“Rick!”

He whirled around to see you slumped against the far wall, your eyes wide as you wiped your fingers under your nose and watched them come away bloody, a bright smear still left on your face as more began to trickle out of your nose. 

“No….”

He closed the distance between you in two long strides and took your face between his large hands. Your body was shaking slightly as you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and your voice broke as you said, “Rick, I can feel it. It’s already happening. Oh God—” you frantically grabbed onto his wrists as his hands still cupped your face “—I’m scared. I’m not ready to die. Not now. Not when I’ve found—” The rest of your words were lost as you broke down sobbing.

Rick pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you tightly. Resting his chin on the top of your head and rubbing soothing circles across your back, he whispered, “It’s okay, darlin’. You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you outta here and get you help, you hear me? I can’t lose you either so I need you to fight. Fight and just hold on, for as long as you can. We’re gonna get outta here…together.”

He felt you nod into his chest and gently moved you away to look at you. Red-tinted tears trailed down your cheeks and more blood was smeared under your nose. Rick glanced down and saw some of it had wiped off on his jacket, but it didn’t matter. He bent down and pressed his lips furiously against yours—trying to ignore the metallic taste of blood coating your lips— then turned back towards the exit door. 

He had already searched every inch of it for some sort of switch but maybe he could pry it open. Rick tried to get his fingernails to dig into the seam where the two doors met, but the seal was just too strong. Maybe if he could find something to wedge between them….

As he quickly scanned the room for something—anything—he could use, he saw you clutch your chest as you began to cough. It started out small, like just clearing your throat. However, within what seemed like seconds, it had evolved into a wheezy, rattling hack that wracked your entire body. Rick watched helplessly as fresh blood sprayed across the floor as a particularly deep cough forced you to double over.  

As it subsided and you looked up at him, he inhaled sharply as he saw blood now not only trickling from your nose but from your eyes and mouth too. You tried to say something—it seemed like his name—however, from your rasping gasps, it was clear you weren’t getting enough air to breathe properly, let alone speak. 

“No…” Rick couldn’t believe he was being forced to stand here and watch you die with no way to save you. “No!”

Throwing his entire weight behind it, Rick smashed his fist into the metal door. Logically deep down he knew there was no way he would ever be able to punch his way through it, but right now, logic was the furthest thing from his mind. Instead, he wound back and drove his other fist into the door. 

Over and over again, he pounded at the metal, ignoring the pain as he felt his skin split and bones crack. The door was now smeared with the blood from his ruined knuckles but it was nothing compared to the blood that was spilling from you just behind him. Hearing you struggling and in pain yet knowing he was helpless to stop it was too much for him and he increased the strength of each blow.

It was only when he saw you collapse to the floor as your body began thrashing and convulsing that Rick abandoned his fruitless attempts at breaking through the door and he dropped to his knees beside you. Pulling your writhing body into his lap, he held you tightly against him and pressed his lips against your ear, muttering empty promises that everything was going to be alright. 

As you continued to seize, blood began to flow more steadily from your eyes, nose, and mouth. Your eyes rolled back into your head as your back arched and your entire body went rigid. You seemed to hold that pose for a moment, the entire room suddenly dead silent. Then, slowly and with one extended exhale, your body relaxed against his and your head lolled to the side. 

Ice spread through Rick’s veins as he stared at your motionless form. No. This couldn’t be happenin’. Not to you. Please God, not you. 

He gently took your face between his hands and turned it so he could see you better. Several trails of blood streaked down your face and though your eyes were mostly closed, he could just make out the dulled, faded color beneath your lids. And though you were lying on his chest, all he felt was an unnatural stillness—no heartbeat, no intake of breath. You were gone.

Tears began to stream down Rick’s cheeks as he buried his face in the top of your head. And though he knew you couldn’t hear him, he softly whispered, “Please, darlin’, come back to me. I need you and I love you and I can’t do this without you. So, please….come back.”

And that’s how Waller’s extraction team found the two of you moments later: Colonel Rick Flag with tears in his eyes as he clung to the limp body of one of the Belle Reve inmates.

Since that moment, Rick had been going on some sort of autopilot, letting himself be shuffled from place to place and doing what he was told. But now that his official statement had been taken and he had been released, there was only one place he needed to be. So, taking the hospital elevator up to the third floor, he stepped out onto the intensive care unit and followed the signs towards his destination. 

When he reached the end of the hall, Rick stared through the window into the hospital room, his forehead pressed against the glass as he struggled to maintain some sort of composure. He could barely see your face past the countless machines and equipment hooked up to you in an effort to keep you alive. 

By the time Waller’s extraction team had shown up and somehow managed to revive you, the poison had done its job and destroyed or seriously damaged most of your internal organs. It was a miracle the doctors were able to keep you alive this long, even if machines now controlled every aspect of your life support. The rest of the Task Force who had been in a different area of the building hadn’t been so lucky. The two of you were the only survivors—if you could call it that.

The doctors had done everything they could to save you and now the rest was up to you. Rick had heard the full spectrum of possible prognoses ranging from you making a full recovery to you being incapable of cognitive thought or movement—and all of it was dependent on you waking up which was an uncertainty on its own.

But for now, you lay motionless in your hospital bed just as you had for the past twenty-four hours. 

Fury boiled in his gut as Rick’s eyes landed on the pair of handcuffs chaining you to the bed. Did they seriously expect you to jump up and sneak out of the hospital? Your heart was struggling to beat without assistance and air was constantly having to be forced into your lungs yet they had to make sure you wouldn’t miraculously make a daring escape. It made Rick sick. As did the fact he wasn’t permitted to be in the room with you. All he wanted was to hold your hand or press a soft kiss to your forehead, but Waller made sure no one except for her and the doctors were allowed in. Just another one of her attempts to punish him.

As if summoned by the very thought of her name, footsteps echoed off the tiles behind him growing louder and louder until Waller stepped into Rick’s peripheral vision. He ignored her, instead keeping his gaze firmly locked on you, and Waller seemed to do the same. 

For several minutes, they stood in complete silence, the sounds of your rasping breathing and the beeping of machines the only sound in the dim hallway. Finally, without turning, Rick asked, “Did you know?”

“I know a lot of things, Flag, but you’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Did you know the chemicals in the nanites could be used like that?”

Waller was silent for a moment before she answered curtly, “No. We knew about the chemical surrounding the bombs of course, but we were not aware it could be turned into a weapon. Our lab is already researching alternatives.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure my team would be thrilled to hear that if they weren’t all currently down in the morgue.”

“Mistakes happen, people die. But that’s why we formed Task Force X. Nobody cares when those dying are criminals.” Waller’s eyes shifted slightly from the window to Rick and back again. “With a few exceptions.”

Rick clenched his fist at her words then immediately regretted it as a sharp bolt of pain ran up his arm from his busted knuckles. He wanted nothing more than to make Waller feel the pain he was feeling. For her to understand how much he cared about you. But he knew nothing he did would make a difference. If anything, it would only make it worse. 

Taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, he asked, “So…what happens now?”

Folding her arms over her chest, Waller said, “Despite my objections, the board determined you did nothing wrong on the mission. They said there was nothing you could have done differently to save your team and you are not responsible for their deaths and thus will not receive any formal reprimand or punishment. However–” Waller raised one eyebrow as she glared at Rick “–I have not forgotten your…indiscretion with her and it will not be overlooked.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t known about us since the very start. You’ve just been waitin’ for the moment it best suited your interests to bring it up,” Rick growled. “I don’t care what you do to me but when she’s better I want her released from Belle Reve. She only had thirty years left on her sentence—twenty after this mission. And this….this more than makes up for the rest of her time.”

“Possibly,” Waller said thoughtfully. “First, we have to wait and see if she even pulls through, then we can have that discussion. But until that happens, I expect you to do your job.” She slapped a file down on the ledge of the window. “Your next assignment. You leave tomorrow and you better be on the tarmac on time. Otherwise all of this–” she gestured to the hospital equipment surrounding them “–goes away. Do we understand each other?”

Rick clenched his jaw tightly as he just barely managed to hold back the slew of curses he wanted to direct at his boss but he knew that was exactly what she was hoping for. So instead, he gritted his teeth and in his most Southern twang said, “Yes, Ma’am.”

The “fuck you” was loud and clear in his tone but Waller thankfully ignored it. Shooting him one last glare, she turned sharply and began marching back down the hall. However, Rick called after her, “And I want those cuffs taken off of her. Now.”

Without turning or breaking her stride, Waller replied, “When are you going to learn, Flag? You don’t call the shots around here. I do.” Then she turned down another hall and disappeared from sight.

Sighing, Rick gazed back at your unconscious form. Pressing his hand against the glass, he whispered, “It’ll be alright, darlin’, I promise you that. You don’t worry about anythin’ except gettin’ better and wakin’ up. You do that, and I’ll take care of the rest. And no matter what happens or how bad things are when you do wake up, I’ll be right by your side for all of it, Waller be damned. ‘Cause I love you, now and forever.”

He waited, hoping beyond hope you had heard his words and they helped rouse you from your sleep. But this wasn’t some feel-good movie or romance novel where his bedside pleas would make everything better and you would wake up to fall into his arms once again. No, this was real life and in real life, people didn’t get their happily-ever-afters. 

At least…..not yet. As long as your heart was still beating—artificially or not— there was hope. And for now, hope was going to have to be enough.

Tag List: @nik2blog, @zebralover, @dumb-fawkin-bitch, @shirley2996

[ellecdc]

Hii! I love your work SO MUCH but i'm not really sure if you're taking requests. Yet i'm here asking if you'd be comfortable to write a marauders or wolf star or any of the ships with reader who has epilepsy? and how they comfort reader after a seizure? i've always wondered what they'd do after my episodes. Feel free to delete this one if jts not your thing and have a great week ahead!!!

thanks for your request, sweetheart! do forgive me if there are any inaccuracies in my depiction of epilepsy as I'm not super well-versed in the subject other than what to do in a first-aid setting! google don't fail me now 😩

poly!maraudres x gn!reader who has epilepsy

CW: depiction of a seizure, anxiety, loss of consciousness, hurt/comfort, Sirius' cooking

You could hear voices murmuring around you - perhaps stationed somewhere above you - though you weren’t currently confident in your spatial awareness. You couldn’t make out what the voices were saying, but you could tell that they were nice; that the voices were lovely.

Or perhaps there wasn’t any voices at all, perhaps it was just a presence; perhaps it was just a lovely presence. Either way, you were sure you felt grateful for it. 

“Easy dove, there you are.” You heard whispered as a breath was forcefully exhaled from your lungs. “There you are, you’re alright sweetheart. You can stop the timer, Pads.” 

You hadn’t realised you had started crying until someone was shushing you and wiping tears away from your cheeks. 

“Remus’ll be right back, angel; he just went to get you some water.” A voice explained from above you; James, it was James’ voice. 

It was James’ voice and you were on the floor; how had you ended up on the floor?

You were having dinner; Sirius had made dinner for you all - roast chicken and potatoes. It was supposed to be roast chicken, potatoes, and broccolini, but he had burnt the broccolini. 

It had been a lovely meal until it wasn’t; it had been a lovely meal until your mouth started to taste like metal. 

“You feeling alright, sweets?” Sirius had asked when you abruptly stopped talking and set your fork down beside your plate.

You were upset - and perhaps a little scared, though this certainly wasn’t anything new - and you hadn’t been ready to admit what you thought was about to happen; not right then, not aloud. 

You simply shook your head no. 

“Is it Pads’ cooking? Because we can order take away.” James had offered in jest, only cluing in that something was wrong when Remus gently nudged James’ elbow with his knuckles.

“Seizure?” Remus asked simply.

You squeezed your eyes shut - in embarrassment or fear, you weren’t entirely sure - and nodded your head yes.

It was like a switch was flipped and they all fell into business mode.

“I’ll go move the coffee table.” Sirius proclaimed as he hurried from the table towards the living room and James was at your side to help you up.

“I’m sorry.” You gritted out miserably, earning you a sad sigh from James who was all but carrying you into the next room.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. We’ve got you.”

And you could only trust that this was true as your consciousness began to fade just as your body was lowered onto the carpeted floor. 

It had been a seizure, you had a seizure. 

“Hey dovey.” You heard above you; a slight breeze prickling your skin alerting you to the fact that Remus had just returned.

A spike of worry surged through your core as you let out a few quick breaths. “Rem.” You sobbed.

The sound of something being set down on the coffee table, James shifting away from you to make room for Remus, and two strong hands cupping each side of your face.

“I’m right here, love. Can you open your eyes for me?” He murmured softly, rubbing at your cheekbones with his thumbs. 

A few quick puffs of hair left your lips again, but you were distracted from your panic as you felt gentle fingers press into your calves. 

“You’re alright, we’ve got you. Open your eyes, dovey.” 

You tried to take in a deep breath as you relented; opening your eyes to have your vision swimming with the sad smile of Remus. “There you are; you’re alright.” He promised you. 

“Anything sore?” Sirius asked uncharacteristically quietly for your arguably most boisterous boyfriend as he continued tracing soothing circles on your Achilles tendon. 

“I don- I don’t think so.” You whispered through a hiccup.

You heard James whimper in sympathy as his hand appeared on Sirius’ shoulder. 

“D’you think you can manage a shower or bath?” Remus asked then, encouraging your eyes back to his as he seemed to survey your face. 

You considered the welcoming warmth of a bath or shower, but your stomach seemed to roll at the thought of doing anything other than laying down for the next foreseeable future.

Your face seemed to give away your decision as Remus sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Cuddles it is then, hm?” 

James was suddenly behind you pressing an upside down kiss to your forehead before he was encouraging your shoulders upwards into a seated position.

“Water,” Remus started as he placed the glass into your hand. “And paracetamol.” 

You took the tablet (as a preemptive solution for a potential headache) and drank the glass of water dutifully earning you two more forehead kisses by Remus and James and a squeeze of your foot by Sirius before James was helping you up and ushering you to the bedroom. 

Time seemed to move oddly as someone helped you change into a pair of pyjamas and ease you under the covers of the bed.

“Jamie and I will clean up, m’love; you cooked.” Remus murmured quietly to Sirius who seemed painfully uncomfortable as his eyes darted nervously between you and Remus.

“I think it should be you who stays, Rem.”

James sighed as he rested his hand on the juncture of Sirius’ neck and rubbed at the column of his throat with his thumb. “You know Y/N gets anxious after a seizure, Pads; just like Moony is always the first name you call out after a nightmare, yeah?”

“Siri.” You whimpered; your voice sounding particularly pathetic even to your own ears.

The three boys seemed surprised by your voice, clearly under the impression you’d fallen asleep during their quiet deliberation.

“Jamie and I will clean, Sirius. You’re in charge of snuggle duty.” Remus repeated. And while some apprehension was still obvious in his face, he seemed to concede to your grabby hand and Remus’ imploring gaze.

The two boys left the room as Sirius carefully slid in under the covers beside you.

Out of all of your boyfriends, Sirius was often left the most upset by your episodes; when he felt strong emotions (such as fear or worry), he tended to shut down.

“I ruined dinner.” You pouted as Sirius pulled you into his chest.

He let out a teasing scoff with only half the amount of humour he usually carried. “I ruined dinner by offering to cook, sweetness.” 

“You guys didn’t even get to finish eating.” You carried on, tears painfully obvious in your voice which made even more tears well up in your eyes simply in embarrassment for crying.

“No, no baby; none of that now, yeah? I was full, Jamie was ready to order pizza, and I’m pretty sure Remus was feeding the chicken to the cat anyway.” He promised, stamping a kiss to your head and pulling you in closer to his side. “You never ruin anything, ever. You make everything better simply by being there, okay?”

“I don’t mean to scare you.” You whispered, feeling painfully vulnerable and simultaneously wholly safe in Sirius’ arms. 

“You don’t scare me. You don’t scare me; I am scared because I feel useless. I hate not knowing what to do for you baby.” He whispered back. 

You hummed as if in thought for a few as you felt your eyelids growing heavy. “This.”

“Hm?”

“Do this, just this; that’s what you can do for me.” You slurred as you felt the heavy hands of sleep dragging you further into the mattress beneath you.

You could feel Sirius chuckle - both in the form of the air he breathed into the crown of your head and the gentle rumble of his chest - as he pressed another lingering kiss into your hair. “Consider it done, my love.”

[ailesswhumptober]

Prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023

It’s finally time! These are your official prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023! We have 31 days of wonderful whump prompts. Each day has a set of 3 different prompts to choose from! Alternative prompts will be posted under the cut.

Happy whumping!

Here are the alternative prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023! There is one alternative prompt for every day in October.

AI-less Whumptober 2023

Drugging / sick / poisoned 

Overworked / insomnia / Exhaustion

Sensory deprivation / overstimulation / isolation 

Hiding an injury / betrayal / lying

Hostage / kidnapping / Held at gunpoint

Conditioning / mind control / forced to hurt someone else

Flatline / Restrained / CPR

Panic attacks / Dissociation / Seizure

Scar reveal / Interrogation / Presumed dead

Branding / Scarring / collar

Fainting / Paralyzed / Adrenaline 

Self harm / Sacrifice / Character death

Earthquake / Flood / Crushed

Bleeding through the bandage / Field medicine / no anesthesia

Experimentation / Muzzle / transformation

Amputation/ chronic pain / Hospital

Hypothermia / heat stroke / “You look a little pale”

Fever / vomiting / Warm soup

Taken for granted/ Left behind/ “Why wasn’t I enough?”

Dehumanization/ Stockholm Syndrome/ Master and servant

Blood loss / shock / Near death experience

Whipping / Punishment / Stress position

Begging / “Take me instead” / Forced to watch

Failed escape / hunted down / Too exhausted to keep running

 Nightmares / Flashback / “Why didn’t you save me?”

 Magical exhaustion or injury / Curse / Came back wrong

 Forgotten/ Locked away/ Immortal Whumpee

 Hair pulling / Oxygen Deprivation / Sweating

 “The easy way or the hard way?” / Bargaining / Forced to choose

 Possession / Mind Games / Coma

PTSD / Headaches / Crying  Here are the alternative prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023! There is one alternative prompt for every day in October.

Bloody knuckles

Gunshot wound

Separated from loved ones

Drowning

Blackmail

Crying to sleep

Disowned by family

Electrocution

Forced feeding

Bullied

Suffocation

Abandoned

Grief 

Human Shield 

Self-defense

Lab rat

Memory loss

Misunderstanding

Hypnosis

Mutilation 

Mouth stitched shut

Nerve damage

Nervous breakdown

Words carved into skin

Stalked

Non-Consensual touching

Paranoia

Peer pressure

Prison

Silent treatment

Truth serum

[megalony]

Our Army- Part 2

Here is the follow up to my Eddie Diaz imagine, thank you all for the lovely feedback on this one.

I have an idea for the third part too if anyone would like that.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Part 1

Part 3

Summary: With another impending arrival, (Y/n) and Eddie have to tell the rest of the kids their news. And talk about the possibility of moving to a bigger home.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twisting his head to the left, Eddie leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head. He began to glide his hand up and down her arm while his foot moved in tandem, tapping the heel of his boot against the floor.

He felt the way (Y/n) hummed into his chest and nuzzled her cheek into his shirt like she was trying to hide herself away, and it made him smile into her hair. He didn't have to say anything to guess that (Y/n) didn't feel much better. He could feel her hand scrunching up his shirt in her fist and she was leaning into him enough that she was almost sitting on his lap.

Eddie tapped his free hand against his thigh as he slouched back in his seat with one leg crossed over the other. His eyes trained in on his hand and he grimaced; it was clear he had just come off shift. Washing his hands hadn't done anything to rid the muck from beneath his nails and he still had dirt caked into his knuckles that were starting to split and crack.

And he hadn't had time to get changed into the spare clothes in his locker. If he wanted to get down to the hospital on time for (Y/n)'s first antenatal appointment then he had to hurry.

"You good?" He murmured into her hair, earning a small hum as (Y/n) lifted her head from his chest to bury her face in his neck instead.

He wasn't quite sure whether (Y/n) was feeling sick or if she was tired or even if it was a mixture of both.

Morning sickness had gotten worse and to add to the mix, Amelia had been staying in their bed for the last week. She had two nights of rough seizures that kept her off school and kept (Y/n) awake with her in the night.

"I think we're up." He looked over at the monitor when (Y/n)'s name flashed up on the screen, and he didn't miss the quiet groan (Y/n) let out into his shirt.

She moved her hands to push herself up and took the time to shake her head and try to clear her mind. Eddie had been at work last night and into the morning and (Y/n) ended up with Amelia, Chris and Paul in the bed with her last night. It was a wonder Tilly spent the night in her own bed when the room was empty and she wasn't used to sleeping alone.

Paul had practically laid on top of (Y/n) most of the night and Chris had a tendency to kick and wriggle a lot in his sleep. (Y/n) didn't get a lot of sleep and she felt drained from not eating much today.

It felt good to have Eddie's arm around her waist and (Y/n) felt his lips against the side of her neck as they headed down the hall into room number ten on the right.

They had been in this position many, many times. Eddie had been to only one of the scans when they had Amelia as he had been in the army for most of the pregnancy. But he did his best to make it to all the rest, and he'd already told Bobby (Y/n) was pregnant again.

Bobby was more than sympathetic and agreed they could try and work around her antenatal appointments and Eddie was already booked in for annual leave around (Y/n)'s due date so he could be off with her and the kids.

"Okay Mrs Diaz, how are you?"

"Nauseous." (Y/n) did her best to smile and look okay, but she knew she looked green around the gills and her stomach was churning. She watched a sympathetic look cross the midwife's face as she looked down at her notes quickly.

"Oh dear. You've been prescribed complan shakes in your last pregnancy, did they help? I'll make sure to order you some vitamins and anti-emmetics that you can collect today."

"Yeah, they helped." (Y/n) didn't necessarily like the taste of the supplement drinks, but they boosted her system and gave her protein and vitamins when she couldn't keep down any food. She nodded when the midwife murmured that she would write her a new prescription for some and she felt Eddie's hand move to grip her thigh comfortingly.

"Okay, let's have a look at this little one shall we?"

(Y/n) wished she had one of those complan shakes right now when she stood up and her legs started to shake. She felt Eddie's hand on the small of her back and his other hand on her arm and she knew he could see how shaky she felt.

It felt good to be sat down again and she leaned her head back, taking a moment to suck in a deep breath to clear her head. She felt Eddie hovering beside her, his hand gliding up and down her arm while she rolled her shirt up and tucked it beneath her bra.

"This will be cold, but I'm sure you're used to this routine by now." The midwife's words were kind and (Y/n) nodded, lifting her head to look up at Eddie for a moment.

He tangled their hands together while his other arm pressed over his chest with his fingers tapping against his chin and mouth, but it did nothing to distort the smile on his face.

It didn't matter how many times they had been in this position, Eddie loved being at scans and seeing the baby appear on the screen for the first time. It made everything real. After today, they would be thinking of ways to tell their families that they were having yet another baby.

Eddie stroked his thumb against the back of (Y/n)'s hand and when he caught her eye, he winked. She looked a little better now she was sat down again.

(Y/n) dithered her eyes between Eddie and the midwife to try and keep herself awake. She fretted closing her eyes for too long and falling asleep. But when she looked back at the midwife, she started to feel her chest tightening up with sparks of adrenaline fluttering in her stomach beneath the sonogram.

Could she not find a heartbeat? Was she struggling to find the baby? (Y/n) took two pregnancy tests that both came back positive and she had been in this position four times already, she knew the signs and feelings. She was pregnant.

Was something wrong this time?

Her fingers squeezed Eddie's hand causing him to stroke his thumb along the back of her hand to try and calm her down.

"Okay…" The midwife plastered a smile across her face and pushed the screen to face them while her other hand held the sonogram in place. Pressing it down quite firmly into (Y/n)'s stomach which caused her to wriggle. If she applied any more pressure, (Y/n) felt sure her bladder was going to burst.

(Y/n) pulled on Eddie's hand, pressing his hand against her chest while she sat forward a little so she was at a better angle to see the screen. To see their fifth- and last- baby.

"Alright, so this familiar shape here is baby A, and down here, we have baby B tucked away in the corner."

Confusion plastered across both their faces which leaned forward to scrutinise the screen.

A and B? What was she talking about?

"You- you mean…"

"Twins, congratulations." She could see the shock written on their faces and dwelling in their eyes. "All seems good here, I'll print these off and make a note on your file. You'll need extra appointments and close monitoring now."

(Y/n) let her head fall back as stars twinkled in front of her eyes. Twins. Two babies, at the same time. She was going to be weighed down with two kids. She would have to make double the effort during labour if they were having two babies. Two newborns to settle and change and feed during the night and take out and dress. Two more kids running round the house.

Six children.

Her head flopped to the left and she looked up at Eddie, apprehensive about what kind of look was going to be on his face. He had had mixed reviews about having another baby, although every day since she told him, Eddie had reassured her a thousand times that he wanted this. But neither of them had thought about the possibility of twins. They had ever had a multiple pregnancy before.

(Y/n) could of passed out when she saw a dazed smile pulling at Eddie's lips and he was practically leaning over her to get a better view of the monitor. She gently slid her hand from his hold to reach up and cup the side of his face while the midwife jotted down a few notes.

"Babe…?"

"I did say I wanted an army." He murmured before he ducked down to steal a kiss from her lips.

It seemed to be an unspoken agreement that this would be their last pregnancy. Five kids would be more than enough and as much as (Y/n) loved their family- and she knew Eddie was always infatuated with her when she was pregnant- five pregnancies was enough.

This seemed like the perfect twist, like a present to have two for the price of one with their last pregnancy.

(Y/n) could feel her heart rocketing in her chest when Eddie smiled against her lips and glided his tongue across her lower lip before he pulled back. He was happy. His face was beaming like the moon on a clear night and his expression made (Y/n)'s emotions soar.

"If we sit you back down at the desk, I can take some bloods and your BP and then you can be on your way."

(Y/n) let Eddie take her hands and help her up off the bed and she was glad to feel his arms around her to guide her back over to the chairs in front of the desk.

Her hand moved to tangle in her hair and she leaned her head to one side, becoming lost in thought. They were going to have six kids. There was going to be eight of them in the house. It might be time for a move. God, the kids were going to be thrilled at the prospect of twins in the family.

She leaned her head on Eddie's shoulder while he kissed the top of her head and gripped her thigh. She could feel him buzzing with excitement, his fingers twitching against her skin, his foot jittering up and down and she could practically sense the thoughts rushing through his head at a mile a minute.

With two newborns in the house after Eddie's annual leave finished, (Y/n) might need some help. She wasn't sure how she would cope with six kids, two being newborns who needed constant changing, feeding, nurturing and attending to. At least the other kids would be at school during the day which meant (Y/n) would have to juggle newborns during the day.

It was going to be a hassle, but they would make it work. They always did, and this is what they wanted.

"Ready?"

(Y/n) held her left arm out and nodded as she lifted her head from Eddie's shoulder and sat up straight. The elastic strap around her arm didn't feel too bad, but she winced when she felt the needle prodding at her elbow. Then again, then again.

"Sorry, I'm struggling to find a vein."

Turning to the right, (Y/n) looked up at Eddie as he leaned over and pecked her temple. It was always a struggle trying to draw blood, (Y/n) never seemed to have any prominent veins and she went home looking like a pin cushion.

She winced when the needle finally sank into her arm and her right hand moved to clench around Eddie's thigh, giving her something to focus on other than the uneasy feeling in her numb arm.

Her arm felt like it was about to drop off when the band finally unstrapped from her arm and she jingled her elbow, grimacing when she could barely feel her fingertips.

"Let's do your BP- do you feel alright?" The midwife stuck some cotton over the crease of (Y/n)'s elbow, but she inched closer when she noticed the faraway look in (Y/n)'s eyes.

Whatever she tried to murmur came out as a groan and Eddie surged forward, binding his right arm across (Y/n)'s waist when she flopped forward. He felt her head tip down towards her knees, her upper body flagging over his arm as if she had been shot. Her arms dropped to her sides and she dithered on the edge of the chair with Eddie being the only thing stopping her from crashing to the floor.

"Oh, okay amor, down we go."

Eddie tried to be careful as he wound his left arm around to cup her forehead and he gently leaned her backwards. He twisted to be in front of her, letting (Y/n)'s head drop onto his shoulder and her body lean into his chest. And when he went down on his knees on the floor, he eased (Y/n) down with him. It didn't take much effort to lay her down on the floor and he made sure she was on her side in the recovery position.

His fingers carded through her hair, keeping it from her face and he stroked his fingertips along her cheek. Watching each flutter of her eyelids and how her head moved a little as if she were leaning into his touch.

He continued to drag his fingertips along her skin whilst trying to calm down his own breathing. He felt like closing his eyes and passing out too. He hadn't been expecting this when he woke up this morning.

Six kids.

"Lia, can you come here a minute, carino?" Eddie reached his hand out to wave to his eldest who was just about to walk out the kitchen.

He caught her eye and ticked his head to the side, watching the confusion dance across her eyes but she nodded all the same. She changed paths, walking sluggishly over towards the living room like she wasn't truly awake yet.

Her eyes cast around the room, noting that her mum was sat in the armchair with her dad perched on the arm rest. Chris and Paul were sat on the rug with a board game laid between them and pieces scattered all around the floor and on the coffee table. And Tilly was sat on the sofa, a teddy bound in her arms and her attention fully focused on the cartoon on the tv.

It looked like they were having some kind of family meeting.

Amelia set her drink down on the table and slumped onto the sofa, curling her legs beneath her and binding her arms around her waist.

Once she was sat down, Eddie paused the tv, much to Tilly's annoyance as she snapped her head to look at him. Her big eyes narrowed and she let out a little whine before pointing to the tv, making her discontent rather clear.

"Daddy…"

"One minute girly, we need to talk to you all."

(Y/n) smiled softly when the boys looked up at them, suddenly drawn away from their game. They both sat upright and twisted so they were facing both parents while (Y/n) leaned against Eddie's thigh.

"Why?" There was a smile on Chris's face, despite the confusion pooling in his wide eyes. He had a feeling this was about something good. Usually when they were all told to sit together and talk, it was because they were going on holiday somewhere. Or when they had made the big move from Texas over to LA before Tilly had been born.

"Because we have something to tell you." (Y/n) began stroking her thumb up and down Eddie's thigh and when she tilted her head back to look up at him, she noticed he was gliding his hand up and down his chin and jaw. A nervous habit he had picked up from somewhere.

They had planned to have this conversation today, but they hadn't said who would be the one to tell the news. It was usually (Y/n) who told the kids each time they were having a baby, mainly because with the boys, she had enlisted Amelia to make it a surprise for Eddie to find out.

They both shared a look for a moment or two and (Y/n) felt Eddie's hand gliding further down her back while his tongue poked against his cheek, he was still thinking every thought possible.

"We're going to have another baby."

"Baby?" The excitement in Tilly's voice was lit up with the smile on her face and she pointed at (Y/n) as if it wasn't clear who would be having the baby. Tilly was the youngest up to now, she had never seen (Y/n) during a pregnancy, she was only three and Paul was five, he didn't remember (Y/n) having Tilly. But Chris and Amelia did.

Eddie snapped his head to look over at Amelia when he heard her gasp "Again?" and for a second he thought he would be met with an angered expression. But her wide eyes and open-mouthed smile made him relax.

"Yes, again." He rolled his eyes and shook his head towards Amelia which caused her to grin and dip her head down. "But this time, we uh… this time, we've found out that your mum's having twins."

The round of surprised faces looking back at them was nerve-wracking, but the way Chris leaned his head back and started to laugh made their nerves dissipate somewhat. They both heard him mutter something along the lines of 'six of us' as he continued to laugh and stuffed his thumb into his mouth, clearly happy about this news.

Tilly leaned across towards her big sister and gently patted her arm so she could mumble the word twins with a confused expression. She was only three and none of the kids in her nursery or their family were twins.

"Two babies," Amelia whispered as she leaned into the arm rest and looked over at her parents. It was kind of thrilling to know she was going to be the eldest of six kids. Sharing the attention of their parents wasn't going to be fun, but twins in the family was going to be great. And that meant more visits from their grandparents.

Whenever (Y/n) had a baby, their family always came over and Amelia knew Eddie's parents would be straight down here the moment the twins were born. And she couldn't wait for the team to know, it was going to make all their parties and events much more interesting.

Tilly's little eyes went wide and she quickly shuffled off the sofa so she could trot over to the armchair. She planted her arms down on (Y/n)'s thighs and looked up at her mum very sweetly in the kind of way she would do when she wanted something.

(Y/n) waited, brows raised, for her youngest to ask for something or come out with a question. But she was taken by surprise when Tilly leaned forward and patted her hand against (Y/n)'s stomach.

"Two? You're not big." There was clear confusion in her voice and (Y/n) leaned her head back into Eddie. That wasn't a question she liked. She couldn't explain properly to Tilly because their toddler wouldn't understand, and she wasn't looking forward to any of the kids commenting on how big she was going to be once she was in the later trimester.

"Because the babies are tiny right now, princess." Leaning over, Eddie swooped down and picked Tilly up, earning a squeal from her as he sat her on his lap.

"Where will they sleep?" Paul had a bright smile on his face and he was patting his hands down excitedly on the coffee table, but there was hesitation in his eyes as the question dawned on him.

They were all sharing rooms already. The boys shared a bedroom and so did the girls. Two more siblings meant there would be three of them per room and Paul didn't like the sound of that. At the moment he and Chris had bunk beds, Paul being on top because Chris wouldn't be able to climb the ladder. But they liked having bunk beds, they could play games and make forts and it meant their room was bigger.

They had a desk and a computer and tv in their room and enough space for race car tracks and all the fire trucks and ambulance toys they were collecting. They didn't want another bed in their room.

And there wouldn't be room in the girl's bedroom for another bed or a cot, it would be too cramped.

"That's what we wanted to talk about. It's gonna be too cramped in this house with eight of us. So me and your mum were thinking about moving-"

"Where?" A streak of panic flooded Chris's voice as his smile finally dampened down and he spoke around his thumb that was still stuffed in his mouth. He didn't want to move. This was their home.

They had moved from Texas down here and that had been scary, it took Chris a while to get used to a new environment and new routines and people and schools. He didn't want to move. He loved his school and his friends in class, he loved being so close to the beach and the parks and the zoo and he loved the team Eddie worked with who were their family. He didn't want to leave.

"We're staying in LA, buddy I promise. We're not leaving this area, we just need a bigger house, that's all. We could end up on the next block, we don't know yet."

Eddie smiled and tightened his arms around Tilly, squeezing her into his chest as he kissed her temple.

They didn't want any of the kids worrying about leaving town. They weren't going to uproot like they had done four years ago. They were all settled and happy here and this was where they were staying, it was just the house they needed to change. Both (Y/n) and Eddie loved their respective jobs and they would never move the kids from their schools and friends now everyone was happy here.

"Do we still have to share rooms?" There was a small spark of hope in Amelia's voice, although she was perplexed.

She didn't want to share a room with Tilly if she had the choice. Tilly was her sister and she loved her, but she was a toddler. She went to bed early so Amelia had to stay in the front room or wear her headphones and be quiet if she was awake in their room. And if Tilly woke with nightmares, she woke Amelia and she was loud and disruptive.

But Amelia had had her own room before Tilly was born, and it had been hard at times. At least with Tilly, if Amelia had a seizure during the night, Tilly would cry out for their parents and Amelia always got help. When she had her own room sometimes her parents didn't always hear her.

Once she had fallen out of bed and had to scream for help once her seizure finally wore off.

"I don't think we can get a seven-bedroom house, baby." (Y/n) inclined her head in Amelia's direction with a soft smile. "But we'll have a few more rooms, not everyone will have to share. We'll make it work."

It was doubtful that they would be able to get a house big enough for all the kids to have separate rooms. They might get a house with only one more room which would mean the girls would still share, Chris and Paul would share, and then the twins would have a room of their own.

All they knew at the moment was they had to start looking soon and they would find something that worked for them all.

"But we want to start the process soon, get moving now before we have the twins so it's not too much stress and we all won't be cramped in here or have the twins in the middle of moving house. Is everyone okay with that?"

Neither of them were quite sure what they would do if any of the kids disagreed or said they didn't want to move. It wasn't much of a choice to stay here for much longer. But the round of smiles and nods and excited noises they got made them both smile.

They had to get sorted soon. Eddie and (Y/n) couldn't waste any time. The only choice they had was either get a house and move now while she was still in the early stages of pregnancy. Or wait until she'd had the twins to move. Once (Y/n) got to six or seven months along, moving would be too stressful and hard so they wanted to move now.

It would be a lot easier to get into a new house and get settled now because then they would have the space for the twins. Waiting would mean cramping everyone in this house and then doing the moving process with two fussy babies in the mix.

That wouldn't be ideal.

***

"Ready?" (Y/n) glanced her eyes down to the kids who all looked like they were bubbling over with excitement.

When she felt Paul pressing up into her side, she held her hand out and watched him deadlock their hands together. His head rested against her hip and he pushed into her leg, snuggling up into her side as much as he could manage without knocking (Y/n) over. He looked eager but still nervous.

Paul had been a toddler when they moved from Texas to LA so he didn't remember the big move. The house they were currently in was the only one he ever knew, and moving was a big prospect, even if they were still staying within the same area.

"Okay, let's take a look."

Eddie had Tilly bouncing on his hip, her arms deadlocked around his neck and her head on his shoulder and she didn't seem like she wanted him to put her down anytime soon.

He reached his other hand out for Amelia who walked one step in front of him as they headed to the house they were viewing. The agent had already told (Y/n) and Eddie about the house and she was stood inside, but she wouldn't hound or pester them. She had said they were more than welcome to look around with the kids and see what they all thought.

(Y/n) kept hold of Paul's hand and followed inside after Chris, while Eddie and the girls were already inside looking around the kitchen.

They steered into the front room first and (Y/n) liked how Paul tugged her towards the bay window. She had a feeling he was looking out the window because they always had Halloween and Christmas decorations up in the windows and this window was ample for decorations.

"Mum, patio doors." Chris looked behind him before he pointed ahead. The living room was open and led right into the back room that Chris guessed they would use as a dining room. And there were two large patio doors leading out into the garden.

The garden looked big. There was a stone patio that led onto a grass verge and lots of flowers dotted around. There was space for their games, trampoline and the pool they always got out in the summer.

"It's good, hm?"

Chris nodded his head eagerly and moved to look out the back doors, catching a glance of his dad who was roaming the kitchen with Tilly chatting his ear off. And Amelia was looking round with a smile on her face, her fingertips tracing the counters and the cupboards for the sensations.

"Let's head upstairs." Pressing a kiss to the side of Tilly's temple, Eddie bounced her in his arm and held his free hand out for Chris who advanced over towards him.

He grinned when he saw the smile creep onto Chris's face when he saw the stairs. They never had stairs in their old house in Texas, neither did Eddie's parents. Chris had never had to walk up stairs to get to his bedroom and instead of feeling daunted, he felt thrilled.

Both his hands moved out to plant on either wall to balance himself, but when he looked back at his dad, Eddie's smile softened. He wove his free arm around Chris's waist and hoisted him up off his feet to carry both him and Tilly up the stairs.

"If this is the house we get, I'll add rails up the stairs." Eddie would drill some handrails onto both walls so Chris had something to stabalise himself with and help him up the stairs.

He could walk up stairs at the doctor's office or in museums, it just took Chris a while longer to get up. They picked a bungalow when they came to LA because it was easier, not because Chris couldn't manage it. But if they wanted more rooms, a two story house was more ideal. Steps would help with physio for him now he was getting older.

"Mummy." Once Amelia trotted upstairs after Eddie, Paul twisted to look at (Y/n) and when she hummed, he let go of her hand in favour of holding his arms out towards her.

"Don't tell me your legs can't carry you up the stairs." Both (Y/n)'s hands moved to her hips and she rose a brow as she looked down at her younger boy.

The way he frowned made her heart seize up and when he stomped his foot and whined, (Y/n) sighed. She leaned down and scooped him up, sitting him on her hip. She felt the way his leg smoothed up and down her stomach and he looked down with a perplexed expression like her bump was suddenly in his way. She was starting to show now and (Y/n) had a feeling that Paul was starting to get a bit jealous.

She pressed her free hand to the wall as she headed up stairs, making sure not to lean back so she didn't put herself off balance. The last thing they needed was a trip to the emergency room.

"Who would get which room?" Amelia looked around the landing, there was quite a lot of space upstairs and there looked to be a few rooms up here which was promising. And she knew her parents had come to look around the house last week. They had been to a few houses, but this was the first one the kids had been able to look round which meant they thought this was a prime candidate.

"Okay, me and your mum would have this room." Eddie turned to the right and moved over to the door at the far end of the hall. He headed inside and looked around as the kids followed suit and piled in.

When his eyes landed on (Y/n) he pursed his lips and looked at Paul who was cuddled up in her arms. She wasn't supposed to be carrying any of the kids, not now she was nineteen weeks along with twins.

Eddie set Tilly down to her feet so she could roam around and he loved how she peered into the walk-in wardrobe like she thought it would lead her to Narnia.

Once the kids nodded and inspected the room, Eddie moved back into the hall and pointed to the next room closest to theirs. "The twins would be in here."

They would have to have the twins room as close to theirs as possible. For the first few months, the twins would be in their room anyway for night feeds and settling them to bed. But after that, they would still have to be close by to be settled to bed and changed and looked after.

The room was a decent size with a small built-in wardrobe in the corner and a lilac carpet that looked almost brand new. The good thing about this house was that they wouldn't need to add any new carpets or change the laminate flooring downstairs which was one less job. It would just be painting and wallpapering the rest of the house, depending on what the kids wanted their rooms to look like.

"Lia, this one would be yours baby." (Y/n) juggled Paul a bit higher on her hip as he was starting to become heavy but she knew he didn't want to be set down yet. She reached her hand out for Amelia and pointed to the room opposite what would be the twins room. The one next to her and Eddie's room.

They let her wander in first, apprehension and excitement bubbling up inside of her as she headed in. It was a smaller room since she wouldn't be sharing and the twins would need more space, but the room was still a decent size for her bed and desk and tv and craft supplies. There was a quaint square window at the far end of the room, and when she turned to the right to look at the small space beside the door, she gasped.

There was a built-in vanity and mirror behind the door, perfect for her jewellery and make up.

"I like this one." She nodded her head as she did a rotation in the middle of the room.

When she leaned to look in the hallway, she reached out and took Eddie's hand, tugging him a bit closer to her. He tilted his head to the side, silently asking what was playing on her mind as he could see something hidden within her eyes.

"You'd hear if I seized in the night, right?" She had been nervous when they talked about moving house that her bedroom might be on the opposite side of the house to her parents. And she feared not sharing a room with Tilly and seizing during the night with no one nearby to help or hear.

She wanted a room of her own, Amelia was the eldest and she wanted her own space. All her friends at school got their own rooms, especially if they were the elder child. But she was always scared about having a seizure when she was alone, it was one of the reasons she wasn't left home alone.

"We'd hear you, Carino, don't worry. That's why this would be your room, so we're next door, and you can keep the guard on your bed."

Eddie and (Y/n) had already agreed that the twins and Amelia had to be near them. Tilly, Paul and Chris didn't need assistance during the night and they slept through the night so there was no issue of them having rooms further away from their parents. The twins and Amelia had to be nearby for emergencies and help during the night. And Amelia wanted the guard rail back on her bed after the seizure activity she'd been experiencing lately.

Eddie pecked Amelia's temple and squeezed her hand before they headed over to look at the bathroom. It was a decent sized room with a bath on the left side and a decent sized shower on the right. That was good for Amelia as she was reduced to only taking a bath if (Y/n) could be in the room with her as she was at risk of drowning if she seized in the bath.

(Y/n) took Tilly's hand and indicated for Chris to follow as they headed past the stairs to the landing on the left side where there were a further two rooms. These rooms were admittedly smaller, but it still have the kids space of their own.

"Tilly, you'd have this room." The room was rather compact but it was long with a rectangular shape rather than a box or square. It was enough for her bed, a small wardrobe and all her toys and her dolls house.

The little girl seemed equally excited to have her own room as she started to jump up and down and moved straight over to the window to see what she could look at. She had a view of the back garden, something which clearly made her smile. Tilly wanted her own room, she hated playing in her room if Amelia was there whereas here she would be able to chatter to her toys and mess around without being observed. And if Amelia woke during the night, it wouldn't disturb Tilly's sleep.

"What about us, do we have to share a room?" Chris was already stepping out into the hall and pointing towards the last bedroom up here.

This was a big house, with five bedrooms upstairs and Chris guessed if the girls had their own rooms, then he and Paul would still have to share. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, Paul liked sharing a room, but Chris couldn't deny that it would be fun to have a space to himself.

"Not if you don't want to." The smile on (Y/n)'s face intrigued Chris as he watched his mum open the bedroom door.

This room and Tilly's room were the same size, both the smallest of them all but still more than enough considering all the kids had shared rooms with each other for the last four years.

"There's a small room downstairs right next to the stairs and kitchen, we can make that a bedroom so you boys get to have a room each."

Just past the stairs before the kitchen there was a small box room on the left. It wasn't very big, but it was the perfect size for a bedroom and it meant almost all the kids would have their own room, only the twins would have to share which didn't seem like it would be an issue in the future.

"Paul, baby I think you'd have the room downstairs." (Y/n) nudged Paul up and down on her hip as she stood in the hall while Chris happily headed into the room that would be his if they chose this house.

It would be easier to have Chris upstairs so when he had a bath and got ready for bed, he wouldn't have to always hurry up and down the stairs. And he was often heading to the toilet during the night and with the bathroom being upstairs, it would be easier.

"No." A low whine left Paul's lips and he suddenly tightened his arms around (Y/n)'s neck causing her to groan. She began smoothing her hand up and down his neck, but when he started to wriggle and swing his legs, she leaned over.

She carefully set him down to his feet which immediately began to stomp on the carpeted floor and he grabbed (Y/n)'s leg, pressing into her like he was trying to topple them both over.

"What, you don't want your own room baby?"

"Not away from you! No! Put Lia downstairs." Another whine clawed at the back of his throat and when when he saw his dad and big sister walking out the bathroom, he pointed over at her.

She was the eldest, she could go downstairs. Paul didn't want to be down there when everyone else would have rooms upstairs. Especially not when his room would be the furthest away from his parents, that didn't seem fair. What if he wanted help during the night? What if he wanted to go into their room? He would have to scuttle all the way up stairs in the dark to get to them.

(Y/n) bit her lip and crouched down in front of him, pressing her bump into her thighs as she reached out for Paul's sides. But he continued to point and wail with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Baby, Lia has to be near us in case she's not well in the night, you'd be right downstairs, not far away-"

"It- it's not fair." With another wail, Paul pointed towards (Y/n)'s stomach and waved his hand, indicating to the twins. They were getting priority, their room was closest to their parents and he didn't like it. Paul didn't exactly need to be close to them during the night, and it wasn't as if he was being made to live in an out-house in the garden or far, far away. He was right downstairs, right below them. But he wasn't happy.

Twisting to the right, (Y/n) looked up at Eddie who was trying his best to smother a smile.

She had been right. He was getting jealous.

Letting go of Amelia's hand, Eddie moved forward when Paul continued to blubber and point at (Y/n)'s tummy as if it would do anything to remedy the situation.

He leaned down and scooped Paul up, stopping him from stomping his foot on the floor and throwing a small tantrum. He cuddled Paul into his chest and moved towards the stairs which caused the five year old to pause in his wails, unsure where he was now being taken.

"Come on soldier, let's take a look at your room. Having your own room means you pick the colour, you can have posters and shelves for your trucks and toys. What colour do you want your room, hm?"

Eddie kissed Paul's cheek as he got to the bottom step and turned left, aiming for the small room that was perfect for Paul, even if he didn't think so yet.

"But- but-"

"No buts, no getting jealous over the new babies, okay? Everyone gets their own room here, it's all fair and me and mummy need the twins with us, unless you wanna get up during the night to change a dirty nappy. Now I bet you want a bright orange room, right?"

"No! Purple room."

The five year old had already stopped crying and was now thinking of what he would like the room to be. His and Chris's room back home was blue and green with gaming stickers on the walls and night light stars stuck on the ceiling because Chris loved space. But Paul could have his room however he wanted it, and that was exciting, even if he would be the only one with a room downstairs.

(Y/n) moved her hand to her back to click it into place, but she looked over at the kids when Amelia moved towards her and Chris was already grabbing her hand, excitedly pulling on her arm.

"Is this the one?" Amelia's smile and that sparkle in her eye gave away the fact that she wanted this to be the house they picked.

It was the perfect size, the rooms meant everyone didn't have to share and they all got their own space. Downstairs was spacious, the garden was great and it was a quiet house. Plus, there was space between them and the neighbours so they wouldn't hear the neighbours arguing like they did back home.

"I think this is the one, baby."

***

Tilting back, (Y/n) leaned her shoulders back into the headboard and slowly uncurled her legs that had been crossed beneath her for far too long. Her toes curled and her feet bent as she straightened out and clicked her spine into place in the process.

A grin spread on her lips when the bedroom door opened and she looked over at Eddie. His hair was sopping wet and forming into hundreds of curls which flopped all across his temple and near his ears. He had a towel slung around the back of his neck like a scarf and a pair of boxers strapped on his hips, showing he'd just been for a shower.

She loved the smirk on his face when he caught her eye but when Eddie caught his foot on one of the many boxes littering their bedroom, (Y/n) couldn't help but laugh. Her hand moved to smother her lips as Eddie stumbled, reaching his hand out on the end of the bed so he didn't fall flat on his face.

"Something funny?" He muttered with a sly grin as he clambered onto the end of the bed and began crawling up over her legs.

"Have a nice trip?" She knew it was cheesy and a gasp tumbled past her lips when Eddie's hands moved to her sides and he started dragging the tip of his index finger along her waist. He knew exactly where to make her ticklish and he loved the way her legs nudged against his knees as he hovered over her thighs.

(Y/n) ceased his actions by cupping his damp face in her hands and pulling him in for a kiss. Her teeth nipped at his lower lip and she felt his hands stop tickling her in favour of cupping her hip and tracing one hand along her bump to feel for the twins.

"What're you up to?" Eddie muttered against her lips before he traced his kisses down her jaw and attached to her neck instead. He looked across to his side of the bed that was currently occupied by garments and clothes and onesies all laid out in piles.

"Seeing what we can use again."

Eddie leaned his cheek on (Y/n)'s shoulder so he could look at what she had gotten out.

There were a few things they had kept from when Paul was a baby, mostly as keepsakes. There were a lot of Winnie The Pooh onesies, bibs and little hats as Chris had helped pick them all out.

Reaching out, Eddie skimmed his fingers across the small pink dress next to (Y/n) as a smile danced across his face. "I remember this one."

It was a dress with a frill at the bottom and across the middle, it read 'Daddy's Princess' with a crown beneath it. That was one that Buck had given them once they had Tilly and learned they had another girl. They always waited until the birth to find out the genders and this was no different, they didn't want to know yet.

"Hm, I like that one." (Y/n) leaned across to peck his cheek. She remembered that was a favourite that Eddie would always put Tilly in if he was the one dressing her each day. She lived in that dress for the first few months and (Y/n) couldn't bear to throw it out once Tilly outgrew it.

"Let's hope we have at least one girl in here then." Eddie leaned back on his heels so his hands could cup (Y/n)'s stomach.

He tilted forward so he could press his lips to her bump. Eddie knew the team were starting to take bets on what gender the babies would be. He himself didn't care, but he thought it would be rather fitting if they had a boy and a girl, then they would have three of each.

"It's a good job we kept Tilly's cot in the attic." She murmured quietly, watching a look flash over Eddie's devilish eyes.

"Hm, intuition."

Neither of them were sure why they kept Tilly's cot once she grew out of it. Granted, she had not long gotten her big girl bed, but instead of selling the cot or giving it away, Eddie just put it up in the attic to be dealt with later. It must have been intuition that Tilly just might not be their last baby after all. And now it meant they only had to get one more cot as opposed to getting two new ones.

(Y/n) began to card her fingers through Eddie's hair when he shifted round to lay between her legs. She loved the sweet smile on his lips and the hazy look in his eyes when he rested his chin on her stomach so he could look up at her.

She brushed the damp locks away from his temple and started to ruffle and style them while the tv blurred some strange tv show in the background.

All the kids had boxes in their rooms and the living room was piled high with bags and suitcases and boxes. In three days, they were officially moving out. Last week, (Y/n), Eddie and Hen had been to the new house and decorated the living room and the kid's rooms. They had painted and wallpapered, knowing it would be much easier to decorate first before they officially got the kids moved in. And Hen had been more than happy to help.

"Mummy, my teddy-" Tilly pushed open the bedroom door with one of her teddies tucked under her arm. She only had a few teddies left on her bed as every other toy had been plugged away ready for the move.

But when she moved towards the bed and realised Eddie was laid on (Y/n), her little eyes narrowed and she stood right at the side of the bed next to them.

Twisting his head to the left, Eddie leaned his cheek against (Y/n)'s bump to look down at their youngest.

"What's up, princess?"

"What you doing?" There was an accusing tone in Tilly's confused words and she pinned her teddy tighter to her chest as she waited impatiently for an answer. Her stern demanour made (Y/n)'s lips form into a grin and she felt Eddie chuckling quietly against her.

"Giving the babies a kiss, why?" To make his point, Eddie turned his head and pressed another sloppy kiss to (Y/n)'s stomach.

The three year old frowned deeply at Eddie's actions and when she took notice of the baby clothes and the blankets scattered on the bed, she looked increadibly put out. All of a sudden, Tilly tossed her teddy to the floor and stomped her foot down on the carpet which made a small echo around the room now that it was practically bare.

Eddie rolled his lips together, doing his best to supress his grin at how amusing Tilly looked when she got stroppy. And he could feel (Y/n)'s fingers pausing through his hair and she let out a little chuckle.

"No. I'm the baby."

Her words were affirmative and her little hands clenched into fists, but it was the tears bubbling up in her eyes that made Eddie's heart jump. She was used to being the youngest and having everyone refer to her as the baby. With them having four kids, Amelia was referred to as the eldest and Tilly was always called the baby.

Even when Eddie's parents rung up almost every week to see how the kids were, they were used to saying 'how's the baby?' or 'how's the little one' and Tilly absolutely loved it. She loved when Eddie told everyone she was his baby, but now she was starting to realise that two new babies in the family meant she wouldn't be the littlest anymore.

She wouldn't be the baby of the family, there would be two new siblings younger than her for the family to fuss over, and she didn't like the sound of that.

"You're not the only baby, princess." Eddie watched with amusement as Tilly stomped her foot again before she tried to clamber onto the bed. She climbed over the back of his legs, causing him to groan, until she was on her knees in the middle of the bed at their side.

"I'm the baby." She almost whined before she flopped into (Y/n)'s arm and tried to burrow into her.

"No, we've got two more babies in here. But you're the only princess." Eddie pecked her cheek to try and soften her up. It had been a long time since he'd called Amelia 'princess', she always preferred Eddie calling her Carino and when she had been younger she especially loved when Eddie would call her beautiful.

Tilly huffed and looked like she might even burst into tears, but being the one and only princess was almost as good as being the only baby.

She burrowed her face into (Y/n)'s chest and started to wriggle around while Eddie went back to leaning his cheek on (Y/n)'s stomach so he could look at the tv. His hands idly ran up and down her waist but his eyes glanced back to Tilly when she started to move. Her knees coiled up, but she suddenly started to prod her hand at (Y/n)'s stomach.

"What're you doing?" (Y/n) began to card her fingers through Tilly's hair, feeling utterly loved by having her youngest cuddling into her and Eddie laid on top of her glued to her frame like this. Although it was strange to feel Tilly prodding and poking at her stomach.

"Babies are in the way." She huffed with an unhappy expression, but her eyes widened and she gasped when she poked (Y/n)'s tummy and felt a kick in response.

Her eyes darted to look over at Eddie who lifted his cheek from (Y/n)'s bump to press his lips there instead.

"Ooh, you've woken them up now." He murmured just to see the way Tilly's eyes widened and she started to rub (Y/n)'s bump rather than prod at her. Clearly trying to soothe them instead in case she would get into trouble for waking them up.

[myfictionaldreams]

I saw your post about poly marauders x reader inspo. What about angst and fluff where the reader is working really hard and doesn't take care of herself? She ends up fainting, hitting her head and having a seizure. (This is common for me.) The boys freak out and rush her to the infirmary. Maybe they take her back after she's given the all-clear and take care of her.

-🐍

Working Hard // Poly!Marauders x Fem!Reader

A/N: hello, thank you so much for this request! I hope I've been able to write the information about seizures ok, I personally don't have them so was worried I'd get the information wrong but hopefully, this is alright!

Tags: angst, fluff, fainting, head injury, seizures, not looking after yourself, anxiety/crying, emotional hurt, protective marauders, cuddling/kissing etc.

Words: k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

The library was fairly vacant of students as it approached the evening time, not that you’d noticed. At one swift glance, anyone could have seen the state of disarray that you were in. Ink stained your fingers and clothes, the whites of your eyes were bloodshot and dry from the lack of blinking, sweat on your brow and hair unkept from the number of times you’d brushed it out of your eyes.

Not to mention the disorganised surroundings you were sitting in with multiple stacks of books covering the desk space with different length parchment paper, ink pots and a single quill also messing up the area.

“How long has she been like this?”, Sirius asked Lily, concern etching deep into his face as he’d just arrived at the library following his day of lessons. Lily briefly looked up at Sirius with the same look of worry on her face from where she sat at a different desk, having been there most of the day just to keep an eye on you as she knew you were slowly spiralling into madness.

“She’s been like this since this morning. I’ve tried to convince her to have a break but she just wants to finish the work. I’m kind of getting worried about her, she hasn’t stopped in hours and keeps pushing my glasses of water away saying she’ll have it later but she’s yet to have any”, Lily explained to Sirius who was now clenching the strap of his school bag so tightly in his hands that his knuckles turned a ghastly shade of white.

“Thanks, Evans, I’ll stay with her don’t worry”, Sirius explained, patting his friend on the shoulder as she stood, having packed her bags ages ago but was reluctant to leave you on your own. “If you see Moony or Prongs, could you tell them where we are please?”

“No worries, I hope you can get through to her”.

Sirius sighed, shaking his head hard enough that his shoulder-length, silky hair flew in all directions as he walked over to your desk. You didn’t so much as flinch when the chair next to you scrapped along the stone floor as he dumped his bag onto the floor.

As he began to talk to you, he kept his voice calm, not wanting to frighten you out of the deep focus you were in. “Darling? Is everything alright?” When you again didn’t respond to having heard his arrival, he reached across and took the quill out of your fierce grip. This snapped you out of your trance as your head whipped in his direction, body jumping in a startle at finding one of your boyfriends casually sitting next to you. Your heart was already racing before the jump scare are you looked between Sirius and the quill you so desperately needed.

“What are you doing? I’m not finished my work yet Sirius and I am not in the mood to mess around, I just want to get it finished”, you demanded to him, reaching out with a trembling hand that had Sirius’ worries increasing.

“What was the last time that you even ate anything? Or had a drink of water?” Sirius asked whilst continuing to hold your quill out of your reach.

Shaking your head in annoyance, you shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know, a couple of hours ago maybe, I can remember. Now please, can I have my quill back!”

Sirius looked at the mess on the desk surrounding you, “Honey, this assignment isn’t even due for another week. You’ve got plenty of time to finish it another day but you need to look after yourself. Let’s have a little break, maybe go and get something to eat and drink and then depending on how you’re feeling, we could potentially finish this later”.

The marauder spoke calmly and slowly, taking in all the signs of your declining health. There were only a few occasions where you had been like this, neglecting to look after yourself and it usually ended with you crying from exhaustion or sleeping a whole day away feeling ill so he needed to be a good protector and make sure this didn’t get any worse but he feared that it was already at that stage anyway with how reluctant you were to listen to his advice.

“No, you aren’t listening to me! I don’t need any of that right now, I just need to finish this today because there’s still the potions assignment due in two days and I need to plot this week's stars for astronomy. There’s also the herbology that I haven’t even started yet so I don’t have time to go for your breaks! Just give it back to me Sirius!” As you were beginning to raise your voice, you caught the attention of the handful of other students who were studying. Sirius didn’t react to being shouted at, especially as it was never something you’d done before, he knew he was getting to the point of no return and was unsure just what it was that he was supposed to do. Let you carry on? Force feed you a snack and make you have a break but then would that anger you more?

Thankfully backup had arrived in the form of Remus and James. “What’s going on here?” the taller Marauder asked, his scarred face flicking back and forth between Sirius and where you were glaring at him.

“We were just about to have a little break”, Sirius began to explain with caution but you were quick to interrupt.

“No we aren’t Sirius! I’m fine, just let me continue other I’ll forget what I’m going to write!”. You were breathing heavily now, like you’d just run up a flight of stairs and Sirius couldn’t tell if it was because of your anger or just another symptom of how worn down you were getting.

It looked like you were close to a panic attack with the way you were reacting irrationally and the two Marauders that were standing took a protective step forward, placing their bags onto the floor.

“My Love”, James spoke carefully, “just take a deep breath for us, okay? We’ll just have a small break and then we’ll help you finish this assignment”.

Your hateful gaze turned to him, “I don’t need help James”.

The way you spoke didn’t falter him in any way as he continued, “Why don’t we just quickly get a drink of water and some fresh air and then we can come back-”

“Don’t talk to me like a child James, I know my limits. I’m just studying, I’m fine, I just need to finish this, but you’re all prolonging it!” You glared at all three of them, not thinking clearly at all and when Sirius once again held the quill away from you, you snapped. “You know what? Fine. Keep the quill. I’ve got plenty more in my dormitory which luckily doesn’t let guys in so I can continue this in some peace and quiet.”

You gathered as many books as possible into a messy pile, bundling them into your arms, along with your parchment paper.

“Wait, Sweetheart, just give us a moment-”. Sirius began reaching forward as you stood abruptly.

One minute you were taking a step forward and then next, it felt like the floor was moving, your eyes unfocused as the books dropped to the floor, swiftly followed by your body as you fainted, accidentally knocking your temple on the corner of your desk as you fell.

Remus, James and Sirius all lurched forward trying to soften your fall but to no avail, as they all watched you hit your head and collapse to the floor However the panic didn’t end there as your body began to convulse, eyes rolling back in your head as you didn’t respond to shouts.

“Shit! Go and get Madam Pomfrey!”, James demanded to Sirius who was out of his chair and sprinting within a second as a crowd began to form of scared students. This didn’t stop James though as he remained calm, kneeling next to your head but holding out a hand for Remus, “Hand me your jumper”. Remus pulled the clothing over his head and handed it to his boyfriend who balled it up and gently placed it under your head. “It’s ok baby, it’s going to be ok, it’ll be over soon, you’re safe, everything with be alright”.

With each word that he spoke, he remained calm, even managing to loosen your tie so that it didn’t restrict your breathing as you eventually calmed with your convulsions and remained unmoving on the floor, breathing heavily.

“Remus, help me roll her onto her side”, he asked the man who was also on his knees next to you, looking paler than usual. He followed James’ movements until you were lying in the recovery position, your hair carefully being moved out of your face so that they could assess your head injury as well. Thankfully there was no cut or blood but the area had already begun to swell into a small bump.

Remus shook his head, trying to process anything that had just happened as he then gazed towards James. “How…how did you know what to do?”

“My mum had seizures, usually she takes some potions to stop them from happening but on rare occasions they still do so she and Dad have taught me what to do if they were to happen, It’s not like I’ve done much anyway”. James looked you over, as Remus shook his head in disbelief, feeling guilty that he hadn’t come and found you at an earlier time but just assumed you were doing your usual revision in the library.

Sirius soon arrived with Madam Pomfrey who did her own assessment and praised James for the bits of care that he provided like putting you into the recovery position. You were then moved to the Hospital wing where you remained asleep for the next 12 hours which is what you needed, lots of rest and sleep.

When you did eventually awake, the sun was just beginning to rise over the mountains and you were disorientated and confused, being in an unknown area and alone, not remembering how or why you’d gotten there.

Thankfully the Matron was already working and hovering nearby so was able to come over and explain the events that had occurred whilst making sure you drank the numerous healing potions she’d decided you needed. With each glug of the horrible tasting, colourful concoctions, you could feel life beginning to pour back into your body, no longer feeling dehydrated or shaky, however, there was still some memory loss but she explained that was the side effect of the seizure. Your stomach twisted with guilt at not prioritising your health which was also the same sentiment expressed by Madam Pomfrey as she gave you a talking too as well about looking after yourself and making sure to take regular breaks, having food and drink nearby during long study sessions.

Finally, after she declared that you were safe to leave but only if you returned to the dormitory to rest for the next few days, she explained that James, Sirius and Remus had been by your side until late at night. Each of them outright refused to leave your side but as they all fell into their own emotional and physical exhaustion, Madam Pomfrey called for McGonagall who helped to send them to their beds.

The guilt now only increased tenfold at the thought of how worried they must have been. The Matron tried to encourage you to not worry about those emotions for now, but to go and rest and that you’d need to return every morning for additional potions and investigations for the seizure.

Every step towards the Gryffindor common room, nerves bubbled in your stomach, wondering if you should follow the woman's advice and just go to your own dormitory and sleep the day away or knock on the Marauders’ room and discuss what had happened.

Thankfully for your exhausted mind, you didn’t need to decide as soon as you entered the homely common room, the three of them were already rushing down the stairs, dressed in their casual clothes and looking like they were about to run somewhere. They were all startled to see you standing there, relief and worry expressed on each of their faces, along with dark circles under their eyes from the lack of sleep.

Hating the uncomfortable silence, you nervously twisted your fingers together, glancing at the floor, unable to hold their burning eye contact anymore. “Madam Pomfrey said I was okay to leave but said I needed to get some rest”.

Another wave of relief rushed through your boyfriends as they each visibly dropped the tension from their shoulders as they stepped forward. “How are you feeling?”, Remus asked carefully, not being able to watch your nervous twitches anymore as he grabbed your fingers and linked both of your hands with his.

“I feel fine”, you answered honestly, looking guilty up at them still through your lashes.

“What about your head?”, Sirius continued the question, standing to your left and stroking the strand of hair away from the area that he’d seen hit the corner of your desk.

“It doesn’t hurt at all but Pomfrey said those sorts of injuries are easy for her to fix anyway. I um, I don’t actually remember what happened, or even from the last few days but everything else is better, my head doesn’t hurt at all”.

James was the last to approach to your right and you were thankful to see a loving smile on his handsome face as he pushed the rim of his glasses up his nose whilst asking, “And what about the seizures?”

“She said they could happen again but it was mostly triggered because I hadn’t eaten, drank or slept properly and that I needed to be careful in the future. I think it’s something that I had dealt with in my childhood as I remember my mum saying that I used to have some sort of seizures but it’s been so long that I didn’t think it was an issue anymore. She also told me about what you did James and I just… I can’t thank you enough and I’m so so sorry for putting you all through this”. Your eyes were full of tears that quickly escaped and flowed down your cheeks.

James couldn’t watch you cry and rushed to wrap his arms around your body, cupping the back of your head to hold you against his warm, firm chest. Remus and Sirius also managed to join the cuddle. The three of them didn’t expect any sort of apology from you, the anger that had been there initially for you not looking after yourself had swiftly changed to worry and fear so just making sure you were okay was their only goal.

“Shh Sweetheart, please don’t cry. We’re just glad you’re safe. You scared us so much, all I could think about last night was having you in my arms again”, Remus calmed your cries down as he kissed your shoulder, trying not to unload too much of his worries onto you.

The three of them held you for long enough that other students began to wake and enter the common room, rushing past so as to not ruin the sentimental moment. As your sobs turned into hiccups and the tears stopped staining Sirius’ shirt, the long-haired Marauder pulled away to cup your cheeks. “Come on, it’ll do us all no good crying in the middle of the common room and you’re supposed to be resting and to be honest I think we could all do with a rest so let's go upstairs”.

Wiping your nose with your sleeve, you smiled and accepted his outstretched hand, his much larger palm engulfing yours as he gently tugged you along to the boys’ room. The sight of the magically enlarged bed only increased your exhaustion as your body seemed to slump with the need to crawl beneath the sheets.

Before you could do as you wished whilst still wearing your day clothes, James stepped behind, his arms around your waist and held you for a second, swaying slightly on the spot as he dipped to kiss your cheek. “Do you want my jumper? Might be more comfortable than what you’re wearing?” he asked with hope in his voice and you knew he always loved seeing you in his clothes.

Turning in his arms and stroking your fingers through his hair to brush it out of his face you nodded tiredly, “Yes please!”

James grinned, pecking your lips before swiftly pulling his jumper off and then helping you to underdress down to your underwear and helping you into his jumper. Remus and Sirius were already down to their boxers and in bed, Sirius in the centre with his arms open and you smiled in relief, crawling over his body and settling on top of his chest. Everything seemed to fall into place as James followed behind you and lay next to Sirius, all three of their arms wrapping around you like a weighted blanket and a breath later all four of you were asleep.

When you woke next, it was because something was tickling your nose. Squinting open your eyes, you were welcomed to the sight of Sirius’ silky hair completely covering your face and his warm breath only an inch away from yours. Laughing under your breath, being careful not to wake the Marauder, you brushed the strands out of yours and his face, tucking it behind his ear.

As your fingers settled back cuddled into your chest, Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed followed by him groaning and bringing your fingers back up to his hair. You giggled louder now as you began to play with his hair and scratch your nails against his scalp, loving the sweet smile on his pretty-boy face.

“You know Pads, asking her to pet you, isn’t what I’m sure Madam Pomfrey classed as resting”, James mused from across the room, no longer by your side. Peaking open your eyes once more, you lifted your head as Sirius flipped off James who was sitting across the room, playing with his gold snitch with a pile of food waiting beside him.

“Is that pancakes?” you asked hopefully, sitting up further by pushing off of Sirius’ chest. Remus who was also still resting on the bed perked up at his, opening one eye and rolling over, his hair sticking up in all directions nearly as dramatically as James’ as he looked for the food.

“It is indeed, and there’s also toast, sausages, eggs, bacon, fruit, anything you might need”.

The four of you repositioned on the bed, leaving space in the middle to carefully lay the trays of food that James had managed to steal from the kitchens and all ate until stomachs were full and happy.

“What time is it?”, Sirius asked, still trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

“Just after lunch, so we’ve only slept for a few hours but seeing as we missed breakfast I thought it might be a good idea to get some food into our systems”.

“Thanks, Prongs”, Remus said before taking another bite of his toast and looking in your direction. “How are you feeling after a bit more sleep?”

“Good, like nothing even happened, I feel like I’m back to normal”. Remus nodded at your words, giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, causing you to sigh and place your fork back onto your plate that was balanced on your nap. “I know we need to discuss what has happened and I’d rather do it now instead of waiting”.

The three Marauders looked at each other, unsure of how to approach the subject before James took one for the team and spoke first. “So you said you don’t remember anything, is that still the case?”

“The last thing I remember is going to Potions on Monday afternoon which was apparently a few days ago, I don't remember anything up until waking up in the hospital wing”.

“Do you understand what’s happened though? And how serious it was?”, James continued, his usual light and laughter not present in his eyes and you had to look at your fingers holding onto your plate as you felt the intensity of his emotions.

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey explained everything and why I had the seizure. I know I hadn’t looked after myself that day, but sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in my assignments for classes and if I don’t do them as soon as they are given to me, I’ll run out of time to complete them and then I’ll fail and then they’ll kick me out of the school and-”.

A scarred, rough hand pulled the plate from your grip so that he could gently hold both of your hands, tipping your chin back so that you were looking up at him as Remus came through with his words of wisdom. “You know that’s just your anxiety talking, there’s no way they would ever kick a talented witch like you from Hogwarts. You’re nearly top of all classes, always help others with their work and get good grades on your own. But you really need to look after yourself. To even get to the point of fainting is so dangerous Sweetheart, imagine if we weren’t there when this all happened?”

It was Sirius who began talking next, “We aren’t saying you need to completely change your ways but you fought us so hard in the library to even just have a little break. From now on, maybe we should put a bottle of water and some snacks in your bag and please, if you’re studying, just give yourself a rest every hour or so, even if it's to have a walk around the library to stretch your legs. Is that ok?”

The way he was speaking to you so softly and kindly had your heart melting and you hated how quickly tears were in your eyes again. You were so thankful for them, expecting them to be angry in some sort of way but once again proving how much you loved them and they loved you.

Unable to form any words, you nodded your response towards Sirius who smiled and opened his arms for you to crawl into again, his hands rubbing up and down your spine, soothing the emotions away.

James sighed away his own anxieties, moving over to kiss the back of your head before clearing away the food, waving his wand and everything disappearing back to the kitchens. “Right, a day of relaxation coming your way my love”, he began, trying to cheer the atmosphere and already causing you to laugh through the tears. “We will be having regular naps throughout the day, and plenty of food that will be ready whenever we are, All I need to do is summon one of the house elves. We have books, Sirius record player, we could even venture down to the common room if we’re feeling adventurous. Oh! I also caught Lily on my way back from the kitchens and she gave me some fruity bubble bath that her muggle parents have sent her that’s supposed to be nice so a nice candlelight bath will be ready whenever you are Love”.

You were beaming at all three of them, “Thank you! For this and everything else you’ve ever done, thank you”.

James shifted closer so that he could peck your lips, slowly and with love. The action was repeated by Remus and Sirius as you all naturally linked together in a cocoon of warmth and safety as you all hugged each other.

“I love you”, you whispered against whichever one of their shoulders you were nuzzling into. The three of them promised their love back to you before deciding on the first plan of the day.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: I'm taking the civil service exam and if I get in there, will they fire me if I were mentally unstable?

Cnetizens: Sweetheart, guess why the civil service exam is oversubscribed as fuck?

yll: No, we have one in our unit. His performance bonus was deducted, and then he, armed with a fruit knife, stabbed two Deputy Directors of Bureau and then smashed the Director-general's office. He is now recuperating at home, and we have to visit him regularly. However, he is very principled and only attacks leaders when he has a seizure, not ordinary staff.

xhzz: Warrior.

dtxgg: I heard from my senior coworker in the organization that during one of the general meetings, when the Director-general was making an impassioned speech, this big sister suddenly slammed the table and shouted, “It's all bullshit!” Then she waved her sleeve and left, and from then on everyone realized that she was not normal. Big sister's exploits included rushing in during a bureau meeting and flickering on the forehead of every Director with her knuckle; when the leaders were eating at noon in the cafeteria's booths, she rushed in, made the rounds, and asked, “Yo, where's the corruption?” The leaders told her to go home and get well, she said she was not sick. After that, the big sister became the real Director-general of our unit, walking everywhere with two security guards behind. She came especially early every day, wearing sunglasses, patrolling the unit building, behind the two little brother trembling. No matter who it is, Big Sister will bash them right to their faces. The canteen auntie who scooped less food when dishing out, the masses who came to the unit to handle administrative affairs and stole the paper from the printer. She bashed them all, not to mention the leaders. The leaders have become numb. Later, the big sister's condition was slowly brought under control, and she had already retired when I joined the unit.

xxxC: LMFAO check the comments lmao

luvpp: There was a man in my mom's unit who became mentally unstable after joining the workforce and ran to the Director's office every day to sit there, saying that he himself was the director, and then the director granted him paid leave, and he still went to the unit to sit in the director's office as usual.

yzxka: ASDDFGHFGJ this one

momo: Our unit invited an expert to give a lecture, and when it was all over, he rushed up to the expert and asked loudly, “Do you know what it means to be full of crap?”

sbkpg: lkkfghdfgsdf

xuexue: The leader took me to another building in the office area, beforehand he specifically explained to me, “There is a man who guards the gate, if he asks you, do you believe in the universe, you must answer categorically, I do! Otherwise you won't get in.” Later I realized that the man was a little mentally unstable, and he was transferred to guard the gate, in fact, that building was originally inside the office area but the higher-ranks let them built a fence and set up a security booth in order to give him a post. Once the Director of Division went to a meeting and failed to answer his question and did not get in.

Vvvviola: After reading the comments, you will understand why everyone wants to take the civil service exam, because it is a job where even if you are really crazy, you will not be fired. It is completely different from capitalists squeezing laborers and laying off employees after squeezing them out.

momo: But as long as you don't go crazy, you'll be used like crazy.

arww: That was the case with the senior who was my tutor when I joined the office. She was crazily obsessed with her religion, and I don't know what kind of sect she was, but she played Buddhist scriptures in her office every day, wore a big red robe(*the unorthodox kind sect of buddhism), and meditated when she wasn't working, and practiced her skill in the room. I ordered a takeout at noon, it was Duck Blood and Vermicillon Soup. She righteously criticized me: duck blood can't be eaten, the animal's blood is full of anger, eating it will lead to evil spirits. I was so frightened that I dropped the vermicelli in my mouth. The leaders were quite polite to her. I worked with her for a month, she retired and went home, and I took over her job.

momo: Sister you go eat Duck Blood and Vermicillon Soup fearlessly hahahahhahhahah

lin: The Chief of my section, beat up two directors-general in a row, the third director-general was a woman, she told him, "I'm a woman, you can't beat me up".

xrhmm: they are even haggling

sytxztt: fuck

sstd: so did he beat that director?

lin: No, he doesn't beat women

[estellan0vella]

Really Bad Older Brother Sukuna AU HFBU

The room is dark, bathed in the soft, ambient glow from the streetlight outside. You’re nestled comfortably in bed beside Sukuna, his arm draped protectively over your waist. The night is serene, a peaceful lull after a busy day at the parlour.

Suddenly, your body tenses, jerking violently. Sukuna stirs, instantly alert, his instincts kicking in. "Baby?" he whispers, concern etching into his features as he feels the tremors wrack your body. "Babe, can you hear me?"

Your eyes are wide open but unseeing, and guttural, pained noises escape through your gritted teeth. Sukuna’s heart pounds as he quickly turns on the bedside lamp, the light revealing the severity of your seizure.

“Fuck,” he mutters, urgency gripping him. He grabs his phone, fingers trembling as he dials the emergency services, rattling off the necessary details. "My girlfriend's having a seizure. It's not stopping. Yes, she's epileptic. Please, hurry."

As he ends the call, the door creaks open. Yuji stands there, rubbing sleep from his eyes, his small face scrunched in worry. "Suku, what's happening to Y/N/N?"

"Yuji, stay calm," Sukuna says, trying to keep his voice steady. "Y/N's having a seizure. The ambulance is on its way."

"But she’s making those scary noises," Yuji whimpers, inching closer to the bed.

Sukuna scoops him up with his free arm, holding him tightly. "I know, buddy. It’s gonna be okay. We just need to wait for the ambulance."

The minutes drag on, each second feeling like an eternity. Your seizure shows no signs of stopping. Sukuna places you on your side, ensuring you’re safe, while holding Yuji close, murmuring reassurances.

Finally, the sound of sirens pierces the night. Sukuna carries Yuji as he rushes to open the door for the paramedics. "In here," he directs, voice tight with urgency.

The paramedics move swiftly, administering the first dose of diazepam. Sukuna watches, anxiety clawing at him as your body continues to convulse. After three doses, your seizure finally begins to subside, but your breathing is shallow and erratic.

"She's stable for now, but we need to get her to the hospital," one of the paramedics says. Sukuna nods, his grip on Yuji tightening.

In the ambulance, Sukuna calls Gojo, his fingers slick with sweat. "It’s Y/N. She had a bad seizure. We’re on our way to the hospital."

Gojo's voice is immediately filled with concern. "We’ll meet you there. Hang in there, Sukuna."

The ride to the hospital feels like an eternity. Yuji clings to Sukuna, wide-eyed and frightened. "Is Y/N/N gonna be okay?" he asks, voice trembling.

"She will be," Sukuna assures him, though worry gnaws at him.

At the hospital, the medics rush you inside, and Yuji’s fear morphs into panic. "Y/N/N! No!" he screams, trying to break free from Sukuna’s hold. "I want to be with her!"

"Yuji, you have to stay here," Sukuna says, his voice strained as he struggles to keep a grip on the frantic boy. "Let the doctors help her."

Yuji fights against him, kicking and scratching, a particularly vicious bite drawing blood from Sukuna's arm. "Let me go! I want Y/N/N!"

“Yuji, stop!” Sukuna shouts, pain lacing his voice. "You’re hurting me. I promise she’ll be okay."

Yuji's struggles weaken, his cries turning to sobs as he clings to Sukuna. "I want Y/N/N," he whimpers, the heartbreak in his voice tearing at Sukuna's heart.

Gojo and Geto arrive as Yuji cries into Sukuna's t-shirt, wiping snot and tears all over the fabric. "We’ll take Yuji to get something to eat, Sukuna. Stay with her," Geto says gently, prying Yuji from Sukuna's arms.

"Y/N will be okay," Gojo assures Yuji as they head towards the cafeteria. "Let’s give her some time to rest."

Sukuna watches them go, his heart heavy but grateful for his friends' support. Once you’re stable and moved to a room, he finally allows himself a moment to breathe. He sits by your bed, holding your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.

Gojo and Geto return with Yuji, who immediately climbs into the bed next to you, curling up at your side. “Y/N/N?” he whispers, his voice shaky. "It's me, Yuji. You're gonna be okay."

The room is quiet, filled only with the sound of your breathing and the steady beeping of the monitors. Time seems to stretch on forever, until finally, you stir, eyes fluttering open. Confusion clouds your gaze as you take in the hospital room, your mind struggling to piece together what happened.

“Yuji?” you croak out, your voice barely a whisper.

Yuji’s face lights up with relief, and he squeezes your hand. “You had a seizure, Y/N/N. It was really bad, but you're okay now. Suku and I are here.”

Sukuna leans over, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “We’re here, babe. Just rest. We’ve got you.”

Gojo and Geto stand nearby, their presence a comforting reassurance. “Take it easy,” Gojo says softly. “You’re safe now.”

You close your eyes, exhaustion pulling you back under, but the fear and confusion are lessened by the love and support surrounding you. As you drift back to sleep, Sukuna and Yuji remain by your side, a steadfast reminder that no matter what, they will always be there to protect you.

taglist - @sad-darksoul @thejujvtsupost

[smashing-teacups]

My very dear friend (who is so grumpy that J&C hijacked her brain again when she wanted a break 🤣) @theawkwardterrier tagged me in an invite to share a section of one of my WIPs. So hey, how about a peek at an upcoming chapter of Atonement? 👀

______

In the second month, they began their respective job searches in earnest.

On that particular front, Claire had an undeniable advantage: there was a terrible nursing shortage throughout the UK, and more job postings than she knew what to do with. She had enough experience to be accepted at practically every bedside position, and so she had the ability to be selective.

A very fortunate state to find herself in, she found out rather quickly, as there were a number of positions that… well, positions she wasn’t sure she would be best suited for anymore.

Wound care, for example, was definitely out. Just reading the vague clinical expectations under the first post made her snap her laptop shut, her skin chilled and mind numb. She held Jamie from behind later that night, tears soaking her pillow as she traced the scars that had once been open flesh. The memories were as vivid as if she were living them all over again; she could see the snake of saturated pink gauze she’d pulled out of his back by the meter, watch her gloved hand depress a syringe of morphine into his IV, hear her own murmurs of reassurance as she reached wrist-deep into the cavernous wounds to begin packing them again…

So, no. Nothing with wound care.

Anything on a neurology floor was likewise out of the question. The prospect of monitoring an EEG took her right back to the endless days and nights when those incomprehensible squiggling lines were burned into her retinas, watching for any change that might signify a seizure. The ICUs in general were out for that same reason. Just the sounds alone — the non-stop beeping of monitors and IVs, the whoosh of the ventilator and hiss of suction equipment—

She couldn’t.

Her damned glass face as she scrolled the job boards must have told her husband far more than she ever would have said aloud; it didn’t take long before she woke to find a folded newspaper on the kitchen table alongside her morning coffee. Circled once, with a question mark beside it, was an advertisement from a local primary care office in town, seeking a clinic nurse.

Claire looked over the top of the paper to find Jamie watching her apprehensively, as though unsure if he’d overstepped. The moment she caught his eye, he dropped his gaze and blew on his steaming coffee. “It’d be quieter than ye’re used to,” he said around a careful sip, “but somethin’ to consider, mebbe.”

Softening with tenderness, she reached for his hand across the table. “No, it’s—it’s a good thought. Thank you. Maybe I need the quiet, I don’t know.” With a sigh, she smoothed her free hand over her face and back into her hair. “That’s just it, I don’t… I don’t know what it is I want any more.” Peering up at her husband through her lashes, she admitted with a self-deprecating smile, “Suppose I’ve just been hoping I’ll know it when I see it.”

Returning the smile so that his soft morning eyes crinkled with it, Jamie brought her knuckles to his lips. “I’m sure you will. The right job’ll find ye when it’s meant to, Sassenach. I know it.”

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

Can I request bloody knuckles for Rick flag

Hi, anon!

Thank you so much for this request! I absolutely LOVED what I came up with and it was all sparked from your ask 🥰💖 I hope you enjoy it!

[ninthcircleofprythian]

Unbound

Part 5 - As The World Caves In

Summary - Not having a mating bond didn't stop the love Azriel and Celeste have for each other or their commitment. When an unknown magic lingering from Celeste's past causes her to lose all memories of the last century, will they be able to rebuild their life without a bond tethering them together?

Word Count - 8.2k

Warnings - character in pain, mentions of past abuse/DV, flashback dream, mentions/allusion to torture, vomiting, description of wounds, wing amputation, mention of blood, character has a panic attack, mentions/allusion to sex, seizure, memory loss, character injuring another character, talk of/description of scars.

Author's Note - make sure you checked those warnings y'all. We are getting into the thick of it now.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Hair braided and skin burnished into a rosy pink from scrubbing, Celeste sat back in bed reclining against the headboard. Az had insisted on carrying her like an invalid and she had given up on insisting she was fine. In fact she was beginning to question herself whether she was fine. The pain that had dulled temporarily was beginning to ramp up once again. Pulsing with a deep throb behind her eyes and now settling into her front teeth. She rubbed at her lip, testing the pain’s response to applied pressure. 

The click of the door opening caught her attention and Azriel entered, carrying a tray with some food. He circled the bed, moving to place the tray on the nightstand instead of over her lap. The smell that wafted from the steaming bowl was actually making her feel a bit queasy but she held that to herself. 

“Just let her take a look, okay?” He asked gently, knowing that healers usually made the worst patients and expecting her refusal. He met her look with concern as he took a standing position on the other side of the night stand. 

Before she could gather his meaning, a knuckle rapped on the half open door followed by a lilting voice. “Knock knock.” Sweet, willowy Marin trailed in with her tote already being slipped from her shoulder. Dropping it onto the chest at the foot of the bed, she began digging inside. 

“Isn’t very often we meet like this,” she bantered, carrying a hint of humor. “What exactly did you get yourself into since earlier this afternoon?” She dripped a couple drops of oil into her palm from the bottle she dug from her bag. It was mostly used as a conduit to aid in gathering information through touch. 

“Nothing. I came right home after I left you,” Celeste responded with a shrug. 

Marin rubbed her hands together slowly, testing the soft heat of the aided magic between her own palms first. “And when did the headache start?”

Celeste shot a questioning look in Azriel’s direction wondering what exactly he told her before she came into the room. Marin caught the gaze and answered. “You were rubbing your temple earlier when I saw you,” she motioned for Celeste to lie back. “But he did tell me what he knew, as he should have.” 

Azriel felt a flicker of admiration at her perception of Celeste’s pain earlier. He didn’t know as much about her as he did Selah, only that Marin was known to be a bit of a partier, frequenting Rita’s nearly as often as Mor. 

Picking up on the tense aura radiating from him, Celeste addressed Azriel from her reclined position. “Az, sweetheart, stop hovering.” 

Arms crossed and wings tense, shadows closing the distance between them he responded, “I’m not hovering.”

“It’s okay,” Marin smiled. “It doesn’t bother me.” She laid her fingertips gingerly to Celeste’s forehead, holding her smile with a nod toward Az. Turning to assess her patient, she gave Celeste a sly wink. “So when did the headache start?”

“This morning after I left the house,” she responded, eyes drifting closed. “I thought it was still from the hangover the night before.”

“Did you feel well when you woke up this morning?” Marin’s fingers continued their trailing sweeps. Azriel’s shadows had inched over and were now following her fingertips. “Curious little things aren’t they?” Marin said with a giggle.

“Az.” Celeste admonished. “You’re hovering.”

“I am not,” he said stoically.

“They’re cute.” Marin lifting one finger to swirl a little vortex of shadows before continuing her palpation down the side of Celeste’s face. 

“They’re not puppies,” Az spoke sharply.

Celeste whipped her head in his direction. “Azriel!” She immediately regretted the movement, hissing in a breath between her teeth. 

Az dropped his crossed arms and rocked forward into movement, smoothly bringing himself to stand just behind Marin’s shoulder. Marin’s hands had pulled back and she rubbed them together once more.

“Where exactly is the pain? And what does it feel like?” she queried.

Celeste settled herself into position again before answering. “Right here,” she said, pointing above her eyebrow. “And behind my eyes, like a throbbing ache. And right before you came in I felt it like a pulse in my teeth. The light bothers me too. And my neck feels stiff and painful when I move too quickly.”

Az’s brow furrowed into a deep crease as his shadows again gathered over him.

Marin resumed her feather light touches, this time focusing along Celeste’s scar. “How exactly did you get this?”

Celeste tensed at the same time Azriel did. A creak of the leather coming from his siphon gloves as he balled up his hands. Her scar, while she had accepted and grown to love it, wasn’t something she spoke about often. Hardly ever in fact. Azriel was obviously aware of its origins and she had recounted the history to Nesta in confidence. She had alluded to her past with the others through a handful of conversations but left them to assume based on the context of how her scar had come to be. 

“You don’t think that has anything to do with my headache do you? I’ve had it for well over a century,” she stated.

“Mmm, it’s unlikely. But I am picking up a strange energy that seems to only be coming from the scar,” Marin’s face squinted in contemplation. “I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“What kind of energy?” Azriel stepped closer. The shadow’s earlier warning rang through his thoughts as that same wispy strand made its way to curl around his ear again. Az’s face tightened in concentration trying to pinpoint further the feeling it conveyed to him.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Marin answered, eyes still on Celeste. “But it’s old. It’s been there since the injury was made.” She moved her hands to her lap. “It’s alright. You don’t have to tell me if you aren’t comfortable.”

Celeste’s heart pounded in her chest at the same moment a small spark of rage hit her. The fear she felt at even the mention of her scar’s origin made her angry. She was tired of that fear popping up randomly and controlling her. 

“No, it’s fine,” she stated forcefully. “My previous–” the word husband had nearly slipped out, so used to referring to Azriel. She swallowed before continuing. “My previous–partner did this. He was extremely cruel and—”

Az reached in front of Marin, whose eyebrows had raised slightly at the mention of a previous serious partner. He placed a scarred hand over one of Celeste’s and squeezed, his face grim and eyes burning a heated golden green. 

“And he slashed my face as punishment for one of the times I tried to escape.” Celeste swallowed thickly again fighting back the tears, squeezing the hand in return.

Marin astutely honed in on the word escape and the implication that the attempt wasn’t the only one. She sighed a heavy breath and gave Celeste an apologetic look, but didn’t comment any further. 

“Well your heart rate is good. I don’t detect any signs of bleeding, swelling or injury,” she stood to collect her things, sidling past Az’s wings. “And you are free from infection. I’ll leave you this.” She pulled out a vial of tablets and deposited it into Azriel’s waiting hand. Celeste recognized it as a curative for motion sickness. “Take one every four hours for the dizziness and pressure. You can continue the papavera if you feel you need it but I would only take half doses. If you don’t feel better in the morning, let me know.”

“Thanks Marin.” Celeste called as Marin reached the door, Azriel trailing behind her. 

“Would you like me to get you home?” He asked, obviously attempting a less severe demeanor. 

“Thanks, but it's alright. I’d prefer to walk.” Marin flashed a brief smile before slipping out the door.

Azriel allowed her to let herself out and returned to the bed, tipping one small red tablet into his palm. “Take this.” 

“You scared her.” Celeste noted as she reached for the water next to her and grabbed the pill. Throwing it in her mouth and swallowing, her eyes didn’t leave Azriel’s face as she mentally chided him. 

“I didn’t scare her,” he responded seriously.

“You hovered,” Celeste managed a weak pull at the corner of her mouth.

“I didn’t hover,” he spoke softly, knowing she was trying to lighten the mood with humor. “Are you–,” he started to ask.

“I’m fine.” It came out more harsh than she intended. She felt a strange mix of fear and anger swirling briefly as she answered. “It’s–just.” She drew in breath before sighing resignedly. “I’m fine.” 

Azriel didn’t utter a word, knowing she was no longer referring to the pain in her head, holding that mask of perfect neutrality as he stole another squeeze against her hand.

Later as velvety twilight darkness fully enveloped the room, a single faelight burned above Az’s nightstand, the tip of his wing carefully positioned so that it wasn’t glaring into Celeste’s eyesight. She reclined, head tilted back, still propped against the headboard as Az shuffled through the stack of paper he was reading. He plucked out a small map, holding it side by side to whatever report he was studying, his roving eyes referencing between the two. 

Celeste slowly rolled her neck toward his side of the bed, staring wistfully at his strong profile as she studied the emotions in her own mind. 

Noticing her look, Az shifted his wing up to further cover the light. “Is it bothering you? I can be done now, it’s not important.” He dropped the papers to his lap as he began gathering them into a neat stack.

“Do you think my scar has anything to do with the pain?” Her voice was hushed in the quiet room.

He used the beat of a moment it took to set the papers aside on his nightstand to subdue the flare of anger that sparked in his chest. “I don’t know,” he said, now turning to face her. “The energy Marin mentioned is intriguing though.”

Celeste sat and digested that for a moment, rolling it around in her brain as if she hadn’t just sat there doing the same thing for the last many minutes. “Yeah. Intriguing,” she said, still barely above a whisper.

Azriel held the space quietly, waiting to see if her rolling thoughts would produce more words. He didn’t move to touch her or urge her into speaking. It was always her choice how much she wanted to talk about these things and he knew she hated feeling pitied over it. 

“How come I’ve never felt it though? This energy? Don’t you think I would have known it was there?” Her eyes held a tender pleading in them, almost willing him to have the answer.

His own eyes narrowed, trying to gauge the thoughts that were swirling behind her dark eyes. “I’m not really sure,” he started. He thought of the possibility that the object used to create her scar had held some sort of magic unknown to Celeste. Thinking of magical objects, his thoughts flashed to that fearsome mask that Nesta had once placed on herself centuries before. How the powerful pull of that mask had bled into her very being, changing her to the point of being something else, no longer able to distinguish herself from the mask. He mentally shook the thought away, careful to not allow the internal shiver to slip past his own mask.

“Sometimes objects can carry a magic that can be imparted to other things,” he pondered aloud, eyes remaining unfocused. 

Celeste jumped at his words like she had been touched by a shock of faelight. Heat rushed to her face and the burn reached her eyes in a flash. “I’m not an object,” her voice wavered, well above a whisper now.

Immediately realizing his choice of words, Az no longer held the space but shifted abruptly to meet her. One arm slid along her shoulders to pull her body to him as the other curved up along her face to press her into his chest. “Sweetheart, I didn’t mean it like that,” his voice low and close to her ear. “That’s not what I meant. At all.”

His fingers folded themselves into her hair, rubbing at her scalp. She allowed the reprieve of his warmth to surround her. She knew that wasn’t what he meant. In the depths of her soul she knew that Az had never viewed her as an object, something to be possessed. The anger that built inside the cavernous void of her chest wasn’t at him, but herself. She knew she was loved here, in this life she had built for herself. She knew she was cared for and free and most importantly, safe. She loathed the creeping feeling of fear that popped up into her safe little bubble. She hated that the memories of her past sometimes bled into the life she had drowned them out with. 

It was in the rare times like this, when the emotions made her body harder to read, that Azriel wished for a mating bond. If only he could feel what was storming around inside her. He wished for a golden thread connecting the deepest parts of their souls so he could feel her feelings instead of interpreting them. He hated feeling helpless in knowing how to help her. He wished he could shoot his own feelings down a bond to her instead of relying on the words that came so hard for him. 

Celeste shuddered against the hard muscle of his chest, a poorly stifled sob escaping her. “I know,” her voice quivered. “I know that’s not what you meant.”

He felt her wipe her face along his chest, nuzzling as if to burrow inside his body, trying to settle inside his ribcage. The emotional chasm that she had once opened there, throbbed. If it were physically possible to tear himself open and let her in, he would have. He pulled both his arms tighter around her.

A few beats of silence passed, both of them sitting in perfect stillness before she sighed a heaving sigh and pulled to sit up. “I’m tired,” she voiced, moving to slide her body down the mattress. Azriel grabbed the edge of the covers, lifting them to allow her to settle comfortably. Propped on one elbow she leaned toward her nightstand, fingers grabbing the tiny bottle of papavera still sitting there. He notefully watched her measure out a dose before tossing her head back to swallow it.

Turning over to extinguish the faelight still burning, he heard the glass bottle being replaced on the stand. Darkness immediately took over and he moved by feel alone to curl around her folded body, spreading a wing like a cocoon over them both. Slowly the shadows broke the silence as they danced along Azriel’s ear, echoing the same question he had already asked himself. 

Which pain is she trying to dull?

She was cold. She felt her shoulders dance a small shiver as she reached behind her, grabbing for the covers that Az was no doubt hogging. Instead of soft fabric, her nails scraped against even colder cement. Her eyes flew open in confusion but her sense of sight was only met with the pitch black of night. 

Pushing up forcefully against where the mattress should have been beneath her only added to her bewilderment before a searing hot slice of pain rendered her nearly unconscious. Celeste lay there, arms folded beneath her chest, heaving on the cold floor and willing herself to not vomit. 

A dream. This is a dream. It’s not real.

The pain and the feel of the hard surface beneath her crashed through her memory. She remembered this. She didn’t want to be here. 

This is a dream. It’s not real.

This is a dream. It’s not real.

But it certainly didn’t feel like a dream. The fuzzy edges of sleep that normally pervaded her mind in dreaming weren’t there. The almost weightless feel of her body that happened as she moved was not present. Pushing up again, she willed her brain to wake up, hoping that clamoring from the bed would kick start her mind into reality.

“This is a—” she spoke aloud as she shoved upward. Again, she was assaulted with the blinding hot pain that collapsed her. A pain that was originating directly between her shoulders.

“It’s not real,” she wept openly, forehead to the floor. 

“I assure you,” a slithering voice echoed in the cement chamber, a ball of bluish faelight now rising to the ceiling. “This is very real.”

Whipping her head to one side, unwilling to attempt rising again, Celeste was met with the one face she had hoped she would never see again.

“No,” she sobbed, nearly retching. The feeling of the soup she ate earlier rising, burning her throat. The sensation rattled her sense of reality.

“Yes,” Tyrik corrected. His thin frame sat upon a low stool, much too low for his height. He was leaning over, legs spread far apart, elbows propped atop his knees. One hand was held open palmed toward the ceiling, controlling the movement of that small ball of light. In the other, he twirled something thin and flat in his fingers. “I did have to get a bit creative. But it was only to teach you a lesson.”

Celeste had ceased repeating her mantra over and over in her head. She felt as if she had no control over her mind and how to shake herself out of this nightmare. Feelings she had buried long ago were taking over and controlling the synapses firing in her brain. She didn’t feel like herself. She didn’t feel like the version of herself that she had worked so hard to transform into. Everything about what was going on around her flooded her nervous system and she felt the shift latch into place. The shift to the shaking, cowering, terrified Celeste. She just laid there, resigned to the forces at play around her.

“I will say it did pain me some to have to resort to such measures,” Tyrik continued deviously. “What a shame to see such a magnificent looking set be destroyed.” 

Celete’s attention was drawn to his hand, the one that had been toying with the thin object. Tyrik swept his fingers across his temple, moving to rid his face of his long strands of sandy hair, before tucking the object behind his ear.

Her heart stopped. All the blood in her limbs ceased to circulate. Her body was washed over with a shocking cold, not from the floor or the room surrounding her, but from the outright panic. Behind his ear sat a long, thin feather, almost the same sandy color as the hair surrounding it, but flecked with deep points of brown. This time she couldn’t hold the wave back any longer as she barely turned her head in time to purge her stomach onto the stone floor. 

“It does seem to have had the desired effect though,” Tyrik droned on, his coal black eyes not meeting Celeste’s at all, but staring almost hungrily at the large open wounds along her back. “You definitely lost the fight you had in you earlier.”

Celeste couldn’t go without air any longer, her brain forcing her to gasp a forceful breath which she then shuddered out into another heaving sob. The pain was becoming too much. Maybe if she could control her arms once more she could push herself to the point of unconsciousness and slip out of this gods awful hellscape. 

Before she could gather the willpower and strength to do so, Tyrik rose from his seat approaching Celeste across the short distance between them, his voice hardening. “I want you to remember, my pet,” he said as he moved into a squat next to her face. “I could have let you bleed out. But what a waste that would have been.” Tyrik trailed his knuckles down her cheek as Celeste screwed her eyes shut. The stench of his cloying sandalwood scent made her gut lurch dangerously again.

“Let this serve as your reminder,” he breathed, closing the distance between them, fingers still dancing along her cheek. “Of the so few options you have left next time.”

He abruptly rose to standing at his full height. Celeste kept her eyes forced closed, not watching him leave. With a flick of his wrist he poised the ball of faelight against the far wall before slamming the heavy door into place. The sound of grinding metal setting the lock still rang in her ears long after he was gone. Celeste just remained frozen, taking up her mantra again.

This is a dream. It isn’t real.

This is a dream. It isn’t real.

After a long measured silence, she had nearly convinced herself that when she opened her eyes she would be awake. Even though she could still feel the frigid cold under her, she expected the warm light of morning to be filling her room. The room she shared with Azriel. 

Azriel.

My husband. 

The thought of him hit her squarely in the chest with a pounding reminder that she had escaped. This prison was no longer her life.

Az. My husband. 

“Azriel, Az, Az.” She pleaded her new mantra aloud and she willed her eyes open wildly. Instead of the soft light of day, she was met with the harsh blue of the faelight—and what it was left there to illuminate. Her reminder. 

Beautiful flaxen wings, soft feathers spread as if about to take flight, attached to still dripping cartilage and bone. Separated from the body they belonged to and nailed haphazardly into stone. 

She had no time to think or plan her movements, her body’s response to the gruesome sight taking over her muscles, shoving herself full force from the floor with a choking gasp.

As she bolted upright from sleep Celeste’s brain didn’t even register the bright light of late morning spilling in through the windows. Gagging down the urge to scream she began gulping down air in retching gasps. Her mind was still telling her she was trapped as her legs flailed about in the tangle of sheets. Ripping them from her body in a panic, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and nearly toppled forward, grasping the nightstand with her left hand to catch herself. 

She sat there holding that position as the fog of sleep and the dream evaporated and she had willed herself to stop hyperventilating. With a strong squeeze of her hand, Celeste gripped the edge of the table grounding herself back to reality. Swiveling her stare toward the same table, she assured herself that her senses weren’t deceiving her. A shimmer of sapphire caught her attention.

Her ring. The one given to her by Azriel on that Solstice long ago. A shock rocked through her and she nearly choked out a laugh in relief, the mantra of his name still echoing inside her brain as she continued to calm her nerves. Releasing her grip on the table she clutched her hand to her chest in reassurance as she fingered along the band’s edge. The slip of paper on top of the nightstand caught her attention.

I cleared your schedule.

-Az

His slanted neat script was scrawled along the paper. Short and simple and to the point. As she stared at those two little letters of his name, she felt that deep void in her chest shrink and the lingering panic swept away. 

Righting herself to stand, she had the jarring realization that the floor wasn’t about to tilt from under her. The memory of last night trickled back to her and she discovered that the pain in her head was gone. Not a single twinge or throb remained. 

Celeste made her way into the washroom on slightly trembling legs. As she brushed her teeth she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were bright without any darkness beneath them from lack of sleep and she felt well rested but noticed she was still a bit shaky as she dropped her toothbrush back into the holder.

From the bedroom she heard a familiar soft swooshing sound, the subtle displacement of air that told her Azriel had just winnowed into their room. Peeking her head around the doorframe she saw the shadows nearly covering him beginning to dissipate. Before they could even reveal his full form, she tread across the room throwing her arms around his waist. 

A forced exhale of air escaped him on impact as he rocked back on his heels, momentarily startled by her intensity. “Hey,” he said as he slipped his arms around her in return. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Her response came out slightly muffled as she pressed her nose into the front of him, breathing in a deep inhale. The familiar scent of chilled night air and cedar flooded her senses. The scent of Az.

It was just a dream.

Az. Az. Az.

“You sure?” he asked as she felt his arms pull her tighter against her.

“Yeah. No headache or dizziness or anything.” 

Azriel’s hands moved to her shoulders as he gently nudged her back to study her face. The concern and disbelief were evident in his features. 

“Really Az. I feel great.” She said, “I just had a bad dream, that's all.” 

She relaxed into his embrace once more, turning her head against his chest. Azriel pressed his lips to the top of her head and drew her in tighter, his thumbs moving in sweeping arcs along her back. 

Pulling in another breath of him, Celeste was reminded of the Night Court woods. After escaping Tyrik she had snuck through the ports to stowaway on a boat and made the long journey over the sea. Even after landing in a new land, Prythian, the paranoia and fear still had a hold on her and Celeste was determined to put as much distance between her and her former captor as possible. So she traveled through darkness and rough weather for weeks until she no longer felt the urge to keep going. One night in the woods, staring up at the most beautiful night sky she had ever seen, she had finally felt safe. Celeste had often wondered over the years if there was some connection. Some cosmic reason why the person she chose to spend her life with and the place she first felt safe both smelled the same. 

Az broke the silence, the rumble of his voice vibrating against her ear. “Hungry?”

“Starving.” She answered, pulling away with a smile.

As they descended the stairs together Az’s hand slipped to the small of her back from habit. Reaching the bottom of the stairs Celeste found a familiar face perched at her dining room table. 

“Good morning sunshine,” Cassian sing-songed at her as she made her way to her seat. 

“Morning, Cassian,” she responded before turning to Azriel as he placed a plate in front of her. “I told you if we fed the strays, they would keep coming back.”

Azriel let out a throaty chuckle as Cassian’s face went from shocked to playful in a heartbeat.

“Somebody woke up chipper today,” he said slyly. “And for your information, I already ate. I just have some time to kill before–well, before nothing.”

“You ate here earlier this morning.” Az retorted. As he took a seat beside her, Celeste reached out and rested her hand on his thigh, giving a small squeeze. His own hand settled on top of hers. Before he could even bring his mug to his lips a harsh knock sounded on the door.

“We’re moving,” Azriel directed at Celeste in jest even as he moved to answer the door. As much as he griped about the constant intrusions, he actually loved it. Having his family close by and comfortable enough to gather in his home uninvited was one of Azriel’s secret prides. The lack of Celeste’s smile at his joke however gave him a second of pause. He observed her eyes unfocused in thought with her fork hanging empty mid air before his lingering shadows along her arm started her back into the present. He felt that little seed of worry beginning to bloom as he moved to open the door.

“Hello Nes,” he greeted. No response came, instead Nesta went storming into the dining room, shoes clacking loudly upon the floor and her face pulled into a serious scowl. 

“So this is your plan is it?” She raged at Cassian as Azriel resumed his seat at the table. “To come begging pity at your brother’s house because you're hungry instead of apologizing?” 

“You know I can’t think clearly on an empty stomach, my love.” Cassian smirked at her with a childish gleam in his eye. 

Nesta’s growl came out as half a scream in frustration directly at him as Celeste reached to the sideboard behind her to grab the coffee urn. “Coffee, Nes?” She asked calmly.

Spinning on her heel and raising a pointed finger towards Celeste, Nesta spat through gritted teeth. “And you –”

The movement jerked Azriel into motion, the wing closest to Celeste flaring out in defense as he slid his chair back in preparation to stand, hands grabbing the table. “Easy,” he warned. The depth of his voice sent a chill over Celeste’s skin. She knew he didn’t see Nesta as a threat but the events of last night had him on edge. She ran a soothing hand down his arm before slipping her hand into his. 

Cassian smirked even wider at his brother as Nesta took a huffing breath and dropped her hand to smooth her skirt. “I thought you were on my side,” she continued to Celeste. The sharp daggers of her glare softened, showing a glimmer of hurt. “And here you are feeding him while I’m trying to hunger strike him into an apology.”

Celeste leaned toward the end of the table where Nesta stood rigidly, grabbing her hand in consolation. “Nes, honey, I am on your side.” 

“Wait a second,” Cas interjected which she pointedly ignored before continuing. 

“But I can’t fight this fight for you.” Celeste squeezed her hand before dropping it and returning to her coffee. “Also, I don’t think that is how a hunger strike works.”

With a heavy sigh, Nesta slumped into the end chair and crossed her arms. “I was out of other ideas.”

Cassian straightened himself to his full seated height. “For the record I would just like to state that I didn’t do any–”

“Admit the defeat brother,” Az interrupted as he gathered Celeste’s empty plate. “It’s for the best.”

“I know,” Cassian said in reluctant defeat. “But I just can’t help riling her up sometimes. It makes the apology that much sweeter.” He threw a heated stare at Nesta as she whipped her head towards him. 

“Is that what this is about?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “All this for the make-up sex? Seriously, Cas?” When his continued silence was his only response, she rose from her seat slowly. “Home. Now.”

Celeste tittered a laugh into her hand as Az wrinkled his nose at the scents that had permeated the air. Before Cassian could make it to the entryway, he spun around clutching his head. 

“Damn you Rhys! The worst fucking timing.”

Celeste’s eyes swung to Azriel as he barked out a laugh, then watched his eyes slowly unfocus as he was now receiving the same incoming message inside his head as Cassian. 

Before Nesta could scream in frustration herself, Celeste sidled up to her. “C’mon Nes, I finished that book I was telling you about. You can borrow it. I’m sure you can find some great ideas in it for later.”

“Fine.” Nesta huffed as she joined Celeste climbing the stairs. 

As they climbed the wide staircase, Celeste began to feel her heart pound harder with each step. Just a few short steps from the top and it had reached a racing thud in her ears and her vision began to dim. She clutched at her chest with one hand and gripped the banister with the other.

“Celeste?” Nesta paused, her voice laced with concern as she gripped Celeste’s forearm in an attempt to steady her.  

“I’m ok. I just –” Inhaling deeply, Celeste tried to gather herself. One deep breath in and out had the blackness receding from the edges of her vision. The next and the thudding reduced to a light canter in her chest. “I think I just need to sit down. Help me to the study.”

“We have to head over to the River House,” Az’s voice carried through the entryway as he and Cassian filed out from the dining room. “We will –”

Just as her final footstep landed at the top of the stairs, Celeste felt a thrum of pain shoot through her, encompassing her head and zinging down her spine. She didn't even feel the clash of marble against her kneecaps as she slammed down and doubled over in pain with a yelp.

“Celeste!” The panic was immediate in Azriel’s voice as he leapt up the stairs, Cassian on his heels. Nesta was clinging onto her waist in an effort to keep Celeste from tumbling backwards down the staircase.

“I don’t know what happened.” Nesta’s voice wavered. “She was dizzy or something and then just collapsed.” 

“Celeste, sweetheart.” Landing onto his own knees in front of her, Azriel slid his hands to cradle her face. “Talk to me.” 

Celeste could hear the fear in his voice. She was trying to concentrate on the feel of his hands against her skin and suck in a deep breath before her own fear took over. She was willing herself to suck in a gasping inhale, feeling her chest heaving but no air moving as another thrum of pain clanged through her and with a rasping scream everything went black. 

Everything was happening out of order and flying by in quick succession as if the memories were a deck of cards being shuffled. The pain was too great to make sense of anything. Tyrik’s voice said words that were unintelligible. Her bloodied wings stretched out and nailed to the wall. The bobbing blue of the faelight. The searing pain was no longer just in her shoulders but it was everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. This time when she pushed herself off the floor there was no more pain, just black - and quiet. 

Celeste’s eyes slowly peeled open, her body felt as if it was weighed down. The waning evening light filtering into the room. A single tear slid down her cheek and into her ear, but that's the only thing she felt. Lying on her back she dully registered there was no pain in her shoulders but it felt as if she had been crying for days. Her head was pounding and the light hurt her eyes. As still as possible, she surveyed the room around her, one she did not recognize. This wasn’t the cold windowless room buried beneath the estate. A flare of panic rose in her chest knowing it must be fairly dire for her to be up here in one of the guest rooms.

I was caught. Again.

Celeste fought the urge to sob as the panic flared again and threatened to obliterate her stillness. One deep sly inhale through her nose and she mastered the emotion, shoving it down forcefully knowing that any impulsive reaction would only bring harsher punishments.

“Hey,” a whisper soft voice pulled her attention. “You gave us quite a scare.” 

The tow haired female was sitting elegantly to her left, leaned forward slightly, her face hopeful with a sad concern creasing her brow. Another striking female stood beside her, similar in look but with more rounded features, her hand clutching on the shoulder next to her. Although Celeste did not recognize them it didn’t scare her. She usually didn’t remember being seen by the healers, their faces all blending into a blur of the tragedies they are called to mend.

The sound of the healer’s voice triggered a movement that caught Celeste’s attention. A dark hulking pair of wings stirred from the back corner of the room, whipping around to reveal a severe face. The worry clearly written across it confused her.

He probably faces punishment if I die.

His long strides brought him to the foot of the bed in a heartbeat, scarred hands gripping the footboard and strange shadows hovering over his shoulders. A second male popped up from the seat he had been occupying during their conversation, broader in frame and even more imposing. Side by side, winged and staring down at her with bright hazel eyes.

Guards.

The word slammed into her thoughts, inciting that flare of fear once more. Their job to assure her cooperation no doubt, or to enact punishment on Tyrik’s behalf. Either way, Celeste’s outcome is not ideal. She didn’t recognize these males either, but their sheer size and muscular build tells her they are here for one thing. Brute strength.

Dread crested again, this time proving harder to push away, but she tried anyway knowing it could mean her survival. Tears fell steadily now and Celeste pushed herself to sit quickly, startling the faces surrounding her but needing to move her body to expend the jittery energy. 

“Celeste,” the scar handed male uttered gruffly. At the same time Celeste blurted out, “Is he here?” 

She hadn't spotted Tyrik’s face in the room. The question brought an even more tightened and confused look to that dark male’s face. Snapping her attention back to the healers, Celeste found their brows drawn in similar confusion. 

“Where is he?” She questioned them, no longer holding down the racing panic. “How mad is he? Please don’t put me back there.” Her voice wavering and reaching a crescendo of fear. 

The sitting healer jumped up from her seat, grabbing for Celeste’s hand. “No one is putting you anywhere, honey,” she said in a rush, her nimble fingers caressing Celeste’s hand in a grip. The words didn’t register, the fear of her mind having overridden every thought process other than her survival. 

“Nes, I don’t think–” the second healer started but her words were clipped off, startled by Celeste’s next move. 

With a quickness, she pulled herself into a kneel, the soft mattress giving way under her knees. Immediately noticing the sensation she expected was missing. The searing pain between her shoulders was gone but this realization only served as tinder to the fire of her panic.

“I won’t try again. I swear I’ll obey. I’ll do anything. Just please don’t take me back there.” Celeste was sobbing beyond control now, her hands grabbing at her face feeling for the raw wound, only to find smooth, raised skin where the weeks old slash should be. The confusion launched her into the height of panic and the next sob came out in more of a scream.

Now beside the bed, the scarred handed male reached out and attempted to grab her wrist. “Celeste–” his voice came out tight with worry. “Sweetheart.” 

Before she could even process his plea, another body rushed through the door. This male unwinged and with searing violet eyes. 

“What the–” Rhys started, but chaos erupted.

Feeling as if she was being cornered, Celeste screamed. A guttural, begging scream as she scrambled backwards, slamming her back into the headboard. Azriel’s extended arm, having just grabbed hold of Celeste’s wrist, was met with hot pain as she tore her nails down his forearm in long ripping gashes, her eyes feral like a wild animal.

Rhys swept in and herded Feyre and Nesta out of harm’s way just as Cassian swiftly wrapped his arms around Azriel from behind, pulling him back across the room over his roaring protests. In his own panic he clawed at Cas’s hold, the beading blood from his arm smearing brightly over them both.

“I know,” Cas whispered lowly in his ear. “I know.”

Celeste continued her wild pleading from the bed. “I won’t try again. Please, don’t let him kill me.”

Rhys turned his wild look towards Marin and Selah who had hurried in the room behind him as he continued to usher his mate and her sister towards the door. 

“Do something. Now.” Pure High Lord command in his voice.

Quickly assessing their patient's crouched form, Selah attempted to approach Celeste calmly, hands raised to show she wasn’t a threat. “Hey, it’s ok. Everything is ok.”

There’s no way out of this. I’ve injured a guard. I’ve tried to escape again. He will never trust me. He’s going to kill me.

Celeste’s mind snapped and in that instant she decided that she would rather die at the hands of a stranger than have Tyrik ever lay hands on her again. 

With surprising quickness, she launched herself from the bed and onto the body of the approaching healer. 

Selah went down with a startled yelp, head crashing into the floor with a thud. A wild scream tore from Celeste’s throat, sounding terrifyingly close to the cry of the wild cats that resided in the mountains outside the city. 

On instinct, Cassian released his wrapped hold on his brother, knowing that his urge to rush to her in this moment would be too strong even for him to hold back. Cas was strong, but not strong enough to keep his brother from his wife in this state for long. 

As his arms pulled back however, Az stumbled. Clutching his still bleeding arm, eyes glazed over, Cassian recognized the shock immediately. The split second decision was made as he rushed to Celeste and poor Selah, still trapped under her. 

From the doorway, Rhys’ own instincts jumped in. He swiftly took Cassian’s place, planting himself between Azriel and the action behind him while sending out a pulse of power around them both before Az could gather his bearings and join the charge. 

Cassian’s muscled arms attempted to repeat the hold around Celeste, but she was wild with fear, screaming and flailing out of his grasp. He didn’t want to hurt her, his heart was already in his throat at the idea that she was terrified of him. Instead, he grabbed at the shirt she had been changed into, slipping his arm through the slits at the back meant for Azriel’s wings, and hauled her still kicking onto the bed.

Silently, he thanked the Mother above that Marin was at the ready, poised for action. The needled vial slipped into Celeste’s shoulder before Cas even had time to hold her still. Her thrashing mellowed in just a breath, her wild heartbeat racing the sedative along her body. With a final sluggish kick of her feet and a heartbreaking whimper, she slid into drugged slumber. 

“So how much do we tell her?” Feyre asked from her seat by the fireplace, hands wringing in her lap. 

“First we need to know how much she remembers,” Rhys stated from next to her, hand placed comfortingly on her knee. “Then go from there.”

A wretched noise escaped Azriel’s throat, despite his attempt at suppressing it, his hands gripping the back of Nesta’s empty chair for dear life. Cassian sidled closer from his place next to him, tucking his own wings in tightly to make the move. He was careful not to tread on the edge of Az’s dragging wings and threw his arm over his brother's slumped shoulders. Az’s shadows briefly scattered before returning to envelope them both.

They had all gathered in the cozy living space of Az and Celeste’s townhouse, chairs cobbled together from the dining room and pushed into all the available space. The entire Inner Circle, minus Mor, and a few of the healers from the group Celeste managed.  After the panicked flurry of finding out something had happened to the alarming ordeal of Celeste waking up, they were all more than a little shell-shocked. 

“And how exactly do we do that? She woke up fighting like a caged animal.” Amren said flatly from her spot on the sofa. “Not exactly a good time to start peppering her with questions.”

A low attempt at a growl came from Azriel in warning. Cassian tightened his grip along his shoulders in a squeeze. Leaning into his side, he pressed his head into Az’s temple and whispered something softly to him. 

Feyre briefly noted what a sadly beautiful painting that snapshot in time would make but dismissed it quickly knowing no one would want to commemorate a time like this. 

Rhys had already given a severe violet look in Amren’s direction in a warning before continuing. “Well, we at least know where she thinks she is, so that gives us a start. We need to —”

“We need to convince her she is safe.” Nesta’s firm voice interrupted from the doorway, returning from her bedside vigil. “She needs to know she is safe before anything else.”

Azriel’s head snapped up upon hearing Nesta return. Catching his intense stare she added, “Selah is with her.” The comment meant only for him and his worry. She continued, addressing the rest of them. “She thinks she’s still back in Valhallan. We have to assure her she is safe, which means you can’t be there when she wakes up again.” She nodded toward Marin. 

During the chaos that ensued with Celeste’s wild panic, Marin had done the only thing she could think to do and sedated her. 

Marin nodded weakly back in acknowledgment. “I–I’m sorry,” she hiccupped. “I didn’t know wh–what else to do.” One of the other healers reached out and clasped Marin’s hand in her own.

“You did the sensible thing,” Amren stated matter of factly.

Rhys shot her another severe look before placating Marin. “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t want her hurting herself or anyone else further. There weren’t a lot of options at that moment.” 

“You can’t be there either,” Nesta indicated toward Rhys. “It’s obvious she thinks she’s still back there. She saw you and panicked and she will probably remember your face when she wakes again next time. She’s terrified of males in general right now.” Her last statement hung in the air hinting.

“I’m not leaving,” boomed Azriel. 

Nesta didn’t respond. She didn’t waver either. 

“I’m. Not. Leaving,” he exacted ominously, that calmly cruel mask slipping naturally into place.

Nesta again didn’t respond, instead she slipped her gaze to her clasped hands resting along the sofa back. She may not have had any qualms about pushing her own Illyrian’s boundaries and directing him around but she wasn’t stupid enough to voluntarily go toe to toe with the Shadowsinger. 

“I’ll stay with you,” Elain said as she turned from her seat on the sofa next to Amren to meet Nesta’s eye line. “We can wait together.” She suggested it as if there were no question that Nesta would be the one to be there when Celeste awoke again, because there was no doubt about it. 

“Me too,” Feyre volunteered, still twisting her hands in her lap. “But–what about another seizure? How can we be sure it won’t happen again?”

Another grieved sound escaped Azriel’s throat as his mind shuttered back to Celeste’s collapse on the stairs. Before she could say one word to him through her pain she had passed out, his hands barely catching her before her head could hit the marble. He had watched helplessly as her whole body had trembled and seized, Nesta stopping him before he could gather her in his arms with the command to not move her. It had felt like an eternity before Cassian could get the healers to their house. 

“We can’t,” the healer beside Marin piped up. “At least not until we can assess the situation better. She needs to be stable for that.”

Nesta drew in a deep breath and held it a moment to steady her own nerves. “Then we keep her calm. We make sure she knows that she is safe and keep her calm,” she took another steadying breath. “That’s all we can do right now.” 

“Alright,” Rhys said, reluctantly taking charge of the conversation. “Selah, Nesta, Elain and Feyre stay. Everyone else, we can reconvene later if needed.”

“Notify me of any news,” Amren stated as she rose to leave. “And Shadowsinger…” she looked toward Azriel, her usually stiff persona softening a touch before slowly adding, “We will get through this.”

The animosity from earlier melted as Az nodded at her, his face lined with grief.

As everyone filed out, Azriel ducked away from his brother's arm and dropped himself down in one of the now empty armchairs by the fireplace. Cassian remained standing, facing his brother from behind the other chair. 

Elbows on knees and gripping his face in his hands, Azriel whimpered out, “I knew it was worse than she said. I knew something was really wrong.”

“You couldn’t have predicted this.” Cassian offered consolingly. “You had no idea this would happen.”

@mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @chairofchaos @weekendlusting @pit-and-the-pen

@sarawritestories @ceoofyearning

[bullet-prooflove]

Sending hugs always!

He hides his heart and hurt because he kinda had to

For Mitch Ripley, please and thank you!

Tagging: @spaghettificationandpretzels @mini-bee-bee @mandy426 @phoward89 @kmc1989

Companion piece to

Drove All Night - Mitch hates the idea of you spending your birthday alone. 

Seperation!Series:

Marley 2.0 - Mitch doesn't realise your hiding a secret from him.

Not Your Problem - Mitch feels you pulling away from him.

In the weeks after Mitch leaves you he locks away every vulnerable part of himself into a little box and tosses away the key. He self-medicates, upping his medication because he doesn’t want to feel a God damn thing. His world becomes grey again, he’s stoic, numb. It’s the only way he can cope with the end of his marriage.

There’s radio silence from the both of you. He sees you in passing at the hospital but you don’t speak to one another, he can’t even look at you. He knows there’s rumours flying, but Mitch can’t even bring himself to care. Nothing touches him anymore.

He’s filling in one of his patient charts when LJ appears alongside him, completing the intake paperwork from an accident that occurred with a tractor. Mitch has managed to avoid the other man up until this point, he simply pretends he doesn’t exist.

“I’m sorry to hear about you and Marley.” LJ says and Mitch just shrugs his shoulders.

“Why?” He says despondently. “You can have her all to yourself now, I’m not in the way anymore.”

“I don’t understand...” LJ says as Mitch stares down at the tablet in his hand, his knuckles turning while as he grips it.

“I know about the two of you.” Mitch says tilting his head towards LJ, meeting the other man’s gaze. “That it started in St Clair, continued when you got back home.”

“What? That’s not…”

Mitch shakes his head, cutting the other man off.

“I don’t care.” He tells him because honestly he doesn’t want to hear the denials and all that shit, he’s too exhausted, too emotionally wrung out. “The two of you can do what the fuck you want. I didn’t fucking care.”

He walks away then, the tablet cradled to his chest because that ache he’s been trying to push away, it’s back with a vengeance. He heads to his locker and he pops another pill, and then another. He’s lost track of how many he’s up to, all he knows is he’ll take as many as he can to drown out the misery that keeps rising up inside of him.  

He spends the next few hours in a dissociative state, people talk to him and he responds but it’s all automatic. He doesn’t recall these conversations, he only has an awareness of them.

He’s refilling his water bottle when the seizure happens. There’s a raising sensation in his stomach, his arms start to tingle and he’s rocked by a sudden wave of nausea. The water bottle slips from his hand, clattering to the floor as the lightheadness hits and his entire world slips sideways. He smashes  his head on the way down, it bounces off the coffee table, knocking him out as his body hits the tiles.

It's ten minutes later that Hannah Asher finds him, sprawled out, broken, bleeding.

You’re the first person she calls.

Love Mitch? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[bloo-the-dragon]

out ooffff curiosity

in quite a few fics with your mer au with eclipse its frequently referenced that he has "episodes"

what happens during those episodes? is there something specific that triggers them or is it something stress induced? does ruin have any ways to help or does he try to stay out of the way until its over?

*cracks knuckles* Prepare thineself for a text wall lmao

So first of all i'm gonna give some context here- Eclipse to put it shortly has the robot equivalent of brain damage. His code is pretty messed up which affects his behaviours and other side effects. This is a result of him having been decommissioned (basically killed) when he was still 'sun and moon' and then brought back again as a mish-mash of both codes.

He was not intended to have a long work life, his expiry being estimated for about 2-3 years and this is primarily due to the fact that his specific model/ai was always intended to function with two ai - so if we look at the eclipse (solar) and lunar from my runaways au, they are a paired ai and if one was to die the other would eventually follow.

Anyways so during his worklife Eclipse's already unstable code was messed up even more due to electrocution from tasers by his owners plus his natural slow deterioration from not having a counterpart (before meeting Ruin which while saved his life, did not fix all the issues). Only reason he survived as long as he did was because he is a mix of two previously paired ai which helped extent his initial lifespan (and the fact he's a stubborn ass)

Ok context concluded i'll now answer the details:

What happens during these episodes?

Moodswings, seizures and at worst crashes. Almost always these result in some form of memory loss. The moodswings tend to be the most common and they can make him act out/say things in an various ways, most often aggressive/angry ones and he doesn't always remember them when they occur due to the memory files being corrupted.

The seizures he has tend to be the absense type though sometimes he may experience a tonic/atonic one. Unlike the crashing in which he experiences a full shutdown and reboot (which he never remembers) the seizures at most can cause soft reboots and minor memory loss.

What are the Triggers?

Stress is the primary cause, but they can happen without warning even if he is feeling fine. The frequency of these episodes in this context is thankfully not too often but usually occur at least a couple times a month.

The immediate causes though? Electricity. The sight of it and the sound of it (this can include thunderstorms but they arn't as bad unless he directly sees the lighting flash in the sky) this is due to traumas of being electrocuted. Also unexpected physical contact like being roughly grabbed or otherwise touched without warning, especially if near his neck/head. This is also related to the traumas with electricity.

How does Ruin help, if he can? Or does he stay out of the way?

Ruin helps however he can when he can! If Eclipse is having an angry moodswing, he will keep out of his way and try not to make too much noise but keeps a close eye just in case it does turn into a seizure. If it's a more depressed/sad one then he'll stay by Eclipse side offering nuzzles, preens and lots of reassurances.

If Eclipse does have a seizure (absense) Ruin will try to guide Eclipse either to the sofa or bed (or floor if nothing else) - this may not always work but Ruin will stay with him regardless, talking with him until Eclipse comes out of it again.

If its a tonic/atonic one and Eclipse collapses, Ruin would attempt to catch him or cushion his fall and would remain with Eclipse until he woke up. Basically using the same methods of talking/cheeping til he does.

[disabilitysonichc]

Sonic Disability Headcanon #2 Traumatic Brain Injury / Tails Becoming Sonic’s Carer 

Sonic gets into a car accident as a passenger (he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt), and develops a devastating traumatic brain injury. It was very touch and go whether the hedgehog was going to survive, and he was in an induced coma for 2 months. 

The doctors warned Sonic’s friends that the damage done to Sonic’s brain was immense, and that he was never going to be the same again, and they didn’t know whether he was ever going to wake up at all. But Tails never gave up hope. 

He made a promise to Sonic that no matter what happens, he was going to look after him for the rest of his life. 

Sonic did eventually wake up, but he now was blind in one eye (the opposite side of his brain injury), could only speak broken English, had epilepsy (caused by the brain injury), could no longer eat on his own, he was incontinent, and would require around the clock care, and was advised that he would need to go into a care home. 

But Tails was absolutely not going to let that happen. He would step up, and become Sonic’s full time carer. He adapted their home where they already lived together to fit Sonic’s needs, making things more simplified, installing a downstairs toilet and bedroom, removing anything that could cause harm to the hedgehog, etc. 

Knuckles no longer knew how to communicate with Sonic anymore, and Amy was so devastated by what happened she completely distanced herself from the hedgehog. Tails was so disappointed by their actions. He still loved his brother more than anything, and would never, ever abandon him. Having a profound brain injury didn’t change Sonic and Tails’ unbreakable bond whatsoever. 

So every day, Tails would put Sonic to bed, clothe him, help him in and out the bath and wash him, lift him onto the toilet several times a day, feed him baby formula food by hand (to avoid Sonic choking), give him medication and stay right by his side during his seizures. 

Basically, Tails was with Sonic every waking moment, he did everything for Sonic all day every day, and he didn’t mind one bit. 

Sonic gave him a name, gave him a home, adopted him, loved him when no one else did. And Tails will forever love Sonic for everything he’s done for him over the years. 

And the hedgehog almost died. Tails couldn’t imagine a world without Sonic. 

And whilst Sonic is almost a vegetable now, Sonic still knows Tails is there for him, and the fox is the *only* person he still recognises from his past. For he often smiles when Tails tells him he loves him, he’ll squeeze the fox’s hand when he agrees to something, and he reaches out for a hug daily, which he’ll only do for Tails.

Tails is the best little bro anything could ever ask for! 

** Artwork is AI generated **

[angelmichelangelo]

glass turtles

verse: 2003 rating: t words: 24k

x

Donnie tears off his makeshift gloves with a wet sounding pop, all the air once stuffed in his lungs rushing out of him at like a deflated balloon when he announces to the room in a raspy, tremulous voice,

“I’m done. I’ve done all that I can do.”

Raphael, who’s been standing by his side for the last four and a half hours, has paled, all the green spilling from his skin like a pen that’d long since ran out of ink, his hands shaking like the beginnings of a seizure creeping up on him; Donnie worries for a moment as he watches him carefully, afraid that he might work himself into actually passing out on the floor.

Instead he’s stealing himself, a white knuckled grip on the edge of the steel table in front of them both, wearing a grim smile that doesn’t even make it halfway across his face before he’s soundlessly making his way towards the office chair in the corner and dropping into it with a heavy, shaky breath that sounds like it’s one he’s been holding onto for some time.

“You did good, Don,” comes Leo’s scratchy, raw voice. A chance glance upwards and Donnie would note that his brother's eyes, normally so stoic and sharp and alert were now brimmed with a hue of purple rings, like fresh bruises, tumid from the weighty toll of his newfound grief.

His face is gaunt like he’d dropped about ten pounds of weight in the space of just one night. There’s still pink blood stains smeared sticky across his plastron, crawling up his arms and his neck, drying in three fingered swipes that makes his stomach roll with a sudden queasiness.

He doubts his brother is even aware of it being there, painted across him like that.

“I. Uh. Yeah, thanks,” is all Donnie is able to say in response. He feels void of any possible remaining energy he possesses still. His bones feel heavy like lead, causing his body to bow like a weak, old branch. His eyes tiredly skate across the room. They fall heavy on the cot bed that holds his other remaining brother.

“You need to eat,” Leo says suddenly, appearing at his side in an instant. Or maybe Donnie had just been staring so long that he hadn’t heard him moving towards him, he can’t be sure. His throat is tight and each breath that squeezes past the lump there comes and goes with a tremendous effort.

“M’not hungry,” is Donnie’s quick knee jerk reaction response. He needs to stay. He needs to monitor his brother. Just a few hours ago he had his hands holding together his skull. His brain seeping between his fingers like unset jello. His heart had— his heart had stopped. Over and over again. Donnie couldn’t leave now.

The mere thought of food makes his stomach roll. He can’t eat. He doesn’t think he’ll ever eat again. He’s already made peace with that.

“Don?” Comes Raph’s voice from across the room, tentative and slow. It draws his attention towards him, watching where he’s slumped over in his chair like he’d just woken from a long, restless nap.

“Don, c’mon. Rest. Please.” His eyes are wet with fresh tears, his face already stained from the previous. His hands are still shaking, the tremor working its way through every nerve beneath his skin. Donnie briefly wonders why he isn’t shaking too.

Had he gone completely numb?

He doesn’t get a chance to vocalize his protest a second time, this time hands are moving across his shoulders, making him flinch before he feels the pad of Leo’s thumb work itself in small circles across his scales. He’s guiding him out of the lab before he can try and fight him on it, steered right towards the couch where Raph has already beat them to it with a pillow and a blanket.

“We’ll take turns checking on him,” Leo assures him as he practically pushes him back to sit. “You need to rest, Don. You don’t even need to sleep, just lie flat and close your eyes for a bit, okay?”

As soon as his shell hits the soft plush of their couch, Raph is dragging the old moth bitten blanket up over him, stopping short at his chin. Up close, both brothers have a thick coppery smell about them, and Don supposes he’s probably got the same stink on him too, having failed to wash it off from himself at all. 

He doesn’t have the heart to tell them both, though. They’ve been through enough tonight. 

“I’ll wake you if we need you,” comes Leo’s empty promise. Don doubts that he will, knowing his older brothers they’ll sit virtue in that lab without him for the sake of letting him rest, but Donnie also doubts he’ll be able to find sleep so easily after tonight, so it will only be a matter of time before he’s joining them.

He simply hums as if to pacify them both.

Raph flips the switch for the main light, blanketing the room in darkness, but with his finely tuned ninja skill, he’s able to watch the shape of his brothers as they shift out of the room, hushed voices only heard with a strained, precise ear.

“What do we do now, Leo?” Comes Raphael’s voice, laced with unbridled fear. It forces Donnie’s gut into a hard, unmoving knot. 

“I have no idea, Raph,” comes Leo’s wavering response. “We just wait. Together.”

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