#knock off skeppy time....

[celluzu]

Captain Puffy and Badboyhalo will always mean the world to me. I miss them.

[prrism]

A Visit From…… Dawn of the 16th

Relationships: platonic

Pronouns: unspecified/kept neutral

Surprised I came back to this series? Yeah… me too

Two months of war preparations felt more like three years to you and yet it also seemed to zip by like a blur it was almost dizzying. Having many people come in, grab what they need, pay you and leave without much conversation was what most visits came down to nowadays. The only notable things you could pick up on over that time was that Bad and Skeppy along with a few friends established their own faction they called the Badlands, Quackity finally standing up for himself and leaving Schlatt, Dream was happily fanning the flames of war and chaos by telling the Pogtopians about a traitor in their midst and Wilbur was still slowly but surely descending farther into madness. You tried talking and reasoning with Wilbur but it was a harder task to accomplish when he spends most of his time in Pogtopia now. The only people who still came by the most were Fundy, acting as a great assistant collecting ingredients for you, Techno, it still surprises you the amount of materials he brings for his own personal collection of potions. Finally there’s Tommy, at first he didn’t come by that much but he’s started sleeping over at your place again, his excuse being that Pogtopia’s gotten too stuffy feeling for him, you can’t help but feel there might be another reason to it you just couldn’t place what.

Evenings approaching fast and you were packing away the new potions for Wilbur you’d managed to create in these few months, they weren’t exactly “stable” so to say, but Wilbur insisted you deliver them to him. With a sigh you get up and make for the door, jumping slightly at the knock on the other side.

“Can I help you?” You ask, opening the door with slight caution.

“I think that’s the fastest you’ve ever answered me before.” To your shock it’s actually Wilbur at the door.

“Oh! Well… I mean I was about to leave to deliver those potions you wa-”

“You did make those! Wonderful!” He cuts you off, letting himself in.

“Yeah, and I heavily reiterate that they’re still not exactly completed, with all this pushing to finish it I never got around to fully test them. Some might do more then their supposed to and some might now even do anything at all.” You explain.

“Yes, yes. That’s all fine and good, we’ll test it plenty on the field tomorrow.” Wilbur waves off.

“That soon!? I thought you’d take more time to prepare.”

“What and let Schlatt’s forces get the upper hand? Not a chance! The war ends tomorrow, one way or another…” He trails off, an ominous tone lingering in the air for a moment before he shakes himself off. “Well, no better time like the present! I’ll be taking those potions now.” He quickly jumps back to a more chipper tone.

“Wilbur…” You let out a sigh as you finally get his attention. “You shouldn’t… I don’t think…” There was so much you wanted to say but just couldn’t find the words to say it anymore. “After this is done and you guys win, because you will win! You promise you’ll come over and tell me all about it, right?” It goes silent between the two of you for a long time, both of you just staring at the other.

“I… promise…” He says half heartedly. You should’ve stopped Wilbur from walking out the door, should’ve tried harder to reason with him, should’ve kept those potions to yourself… but that wouldn’t make a difference to anything, because both of you already knew his promise was an empty one…

It’s well into the evening and sleep was easily evading you, as you stare blankly at the ceiling. You sigh and get out of bed hoping that grabbing some water might ease your racing mind. Instead a suddenly knock on your door has you’re mind and heart racing at who could possibly be coming by this late.

“Hello?” You open the door with slight caution.

“Just the alchemist I was hoping to talk with.” Dream says, as if he was expecting someone else at the door.

“It’s late so let’s make this quick. What do you want?” You raise an eyebrow his way.

“See this is why I like you,” Dream starts, inviting himself inside. “You’re down to business and to the point, no need to sugarcoat anything.” He casually places his arm around your shoulder. “I’ll make this quick. What side are you giving your support to?” You give him a very confused glance at the question.

“Dream, you know I don’t do the whole ‘choosing sides’ thing.”

“True as that may be its pretty clear who you’re showing more favour towards. I mean heck, you made a whole new potion for Wilbur just because he asked you to. That doesn’t seem like something you do too often.” You feel his eyes bearing into you through the mask.

“What are you getting at? Sure I was able to throw together a sort of portable TnT potion, but the results are still few and far between what I’m usually satisfied with.” You cross your arms unamused.

“Fair enough, but that still doesn’t answer why you’ve heavily limited your services to Manberg. And as a hired hand for Schlatt I’d like to know why.” Dream says with a shrug.

“Forgive me for being hesitant with wanting to continue business with someone who very clearly threatened my life.” You start sarcastically before shifting to a more bitter tone. “And why are you helping Schlatt? It can’t be just because you want to fan the flames of war, you usually want something else out of it.”

“As sharp as ever, I see.” Dream then pulls you closer and looks around as if to check if anyone else was nearby before continuing in a much more hushed tone. “You’re right, Schlatt bought me over with something I just couldn’t refuse.”

“And that would be…?” You trail off, silently cursing yourself for your ever needy curiosity but still hoping for an answer.

“A revival book.” Dream emphasizes, you practically shove him off of you as you step away from him in shock.

“You’re joking, right? Something like that is insanely powerful and rare to boot, there’s no way he actually had one.” You desperately try not to raise your voice, worried it might alert your companions, who were sleeping over in the spare room for the night.

“It’s true… I’ve got it right here.” Dream then pulls out said revival book, as if it wasn’t a big deal to have in his possession in the first place. You stare dumbfounded at the item and can just hear his smirk when he speaks again. “You know, I’m more then happy to share this knowledge with you… so long as you’re willing to return the favour.” This somewhat breaks you out of your shocked trance, finally catching on to why he was so open about the book with you.

“You know what? I’m good. You keep your secret knowledge and I’ll keep mine.” You decline as gently as you could.

“Well it was worth a shot.” Dream just gives a shrug. “While I’m here, you mind if I grab a few potions for the road? All for personal use, I promise.”

“So long as you can pay for it.” You’re quick to jump into business mode. Dream nods, grabs what he needs and hands you a fair amount of emeralds and gold to pay for it before he’s out the door. Maybe now you could catch some sleep…

You never did catch any sleep, with so much rattling around your head paired with the new information that Dream had a revival book you just couldn’t get to sleep. The first rays of the dawn shone through your window, your house was extra quiet today, everyone had already left for the finally battle between Pogtopia and Manberg. You, of course, were taking no part in the fight but stay home wasn’t helping ease your nerves so you decide to stretch your legs and go for a walk.

The autumn air was crisp as you walk though the forest surrounding the area, doing anything and everything to calm your racing mind. The cad of some crows didn’t exactly help the situation tho, making you look up at the birds sitting amongst the branches. Now you weren’t entirely one for superstition, however the sudden appearance of so many crows in the area certainly left an uneasy feeling in your gut. That’s when you saw a large murder of crows flocking around a specific area up ahead, part of you wanting to turn back and head home the other part pushing you forward to investigate this strange occurrence.

As you draw closer to the area swarmed with the dark feathered birds you come to a complete halt when you see someone walking casually among them, heading towards Manberg. It wouldn’t have struck you as too odd, after all you’ve met many interesting characters before, but the large crow-like wings were a bit off putting, you just couldn’t place why until you remembered the old tales of a man chosen by Death herself to be her champion. There was no way this was that exact angel… was it? You don’t get time to think to much on it when the cawing of another crow catches your attention, this was staring at you, you stare right back which makes it let out another loud caw before swooping down and snatching a piece of gold from your pocket.

“Wha- hey!” You try to catch the bird but it dodges you and flies off. “Little thief.” You huff to yourself. You take in your surroundings again noticing the man you saw earlier was nowhere in sight now, not sure if that was a good or bad thing you decide you’ve had enough fresh air and head back home.

“There’s a saying, by a traitor… It was never meant to be…”

You’ve never felt so jumpy in your life, first you couldn’t sleep thinking about everyone involved with the war, then Dream revealing the book, now it was the possible sighting of the Angel of Death, while you still weren’t sure if you were just hallucinating it also couldn’t just be some coincidence. You felt ready to explode from all this anxiety, seems you weren’t the only one as a loud yet distant explosion is heard, enough to bring a slight shake to your home. Instantly your out the door, booking it in the direction of L’Manberg, stopping by the edge of a cliff that overlooks the little country… or what was left of it anyways.

“Oh Wilbur,” you sigh discouraged, “what did you do…”

I regret nothing

[kisuminight]

A very general outline of how this AU's Staged Finale goes down:

So Tommy swings the Axe of Peace. And instead of turning into golden dust like a respawn, Dream shatters into pieces of light. The axe catches on Dream’s core crystal and basically knocks it so it hits the ground behind Tommy, in the middle of the gathered server members.

“What the fuck?” says Tommy.

“Language!” from Bad.

“That’s a core crystal. Dream was a Blade?” says Punz. He steps closer to the core crystal on the ground.

“Don’t touch that!” says Sapnap. He also steps closer to the core crystal on the ground.

“Chill. It can take up to three days for a core crystal to recover enough to be Awakened again.” But Punz steps back.

“Dream can’t be a Blade.” Says Sam. “Are you sure that was Dream?”

“Of course if was fucking Dream! You think I don’t fucking recognize how he fucking fights?” Tommy again.

“But if Dream is a Blade, who was his Driver?” Tubbo.

The problem is that Blades, socially, are seen as extensions of their Drivers. Most people expect that, if a Blade is doing something, it is because their Driver told them to. Anyone who has interacted with Skeppy on a frequent basis (and is aware he is a Blade) knows this is nonsense, but ingrained prejudice is strong. Tommy and Tubbo being mostly clueless about the Blade system actually puts them at a better point for recognizing Dream’s agency than anyone else.

Sapnap is having a breakdown. He thought he understood his friend, and then he thought that he didn’t understand his friend but that was okay because Dream was a bad friend. Now Dream is a Blade and some things are making sense but more things aren’t and actually his friend is for-real dead now. Not dead as in a canon death, dead as in the Dream that existed just stopped the moment he was returned to a core crystal. If it is Awakened, the New Dream will be similar but will not be the same person. The last bit hasn’t really hit him yet.

Antfrost and Bad have both been corrupted by the Egg at this point. They are surprised about Dream being a Blade, but are pushed by the Egg to want to bring Dream’s core crystal back to it. The Egg has a hard time infecting Blades, and only got Skeppy by a combination of lingering influence coming from Bad and long-term direct exposure. It is aware that any Blade in its power that reverts to a core crystal will reAwaken without the corruption, and has plans that revolve around trying to corrupt Dream’s core crystal itself.

HBomb, Jack Manifold, and Niki are mostly satisfied that Dream is not going to be a Problem any more. They are content to leave at this point. Niki did guess that Philza was a blade, and since Techno contacted her prior to the confrontation, she does inform Techno (who she thinks is Philza’s Driver) about the situation with Dream.

Callahan is worried about the situation. He wants to know who Dream’s Driver was. As a Blade himself, he is aware that a Driver does not absolutely dictate what Blades can/cannot do. However, a Blade’s relationship with their Driver does greatly impact how they see the rest of the world. Callahan is also aware that a Driver does not necessarily have to be on the same server as the Blade, seeing as his Driver Alyssa is off-server.

Ranboo is staying quiet. He and Punz are staying out of this discussion. Punz makes an excuse to leave early, and dips out while making motions to or saying something about Dream’s core crystal, which is still on the ground. Ranboo is hovering around, acting hesitant.

Sam also wants to know who Dream’s Driver was. He is currently the Warden of Pandora’s Vault, and while his behavior has not reached the point where it would in canon-timeline after overseeing Dream’s imprisonment, the signs are already starting. Sam thinks that Dream should be reAwakened and that they need to be careful about who Dream’s new Driver is to make sure that Dream is a Good Person in his new life (Sam is advocating to be the new Driver).

Puffy agrees that Dream needs a good Driver to be a better person in his new life. She thinks Sam is a good person for that. Eret weighs in at this point and mentions that Dream was a citizen of the Greater Dream SMP and might be better with them (this is part of Eret’s quest for reconciliation, as well as a bit of power-hunger. Eret is a weird character). Puffy says that Sam would be better because Dream shouldn’t be around/have influence in politics. She says Dream probably shouldn’t go with Bad or Antfrost for similar reasons. At this point, Eret leaves.

Tommy wants to know what the hell are they talking about. Why is Dream a rock? Why are they trying to revive Dream at all? It’s like they think that Dream isn’t a wrongun’.

*Blade system is explained to Tommy*

Okay, so the New Dream will look exactly the same as Dream. And act exactly like Dream. And you think it’s okay to wake him up because he won’t have any memories? Tommy calls Doubt with lots of cursing. Bullshit Dream was doing it on orders. It was only Dream demanding Exile. It was only Dream during Exile. Yeah, Doomsday was Dream + Phil + Techno, but Dream wasn’t getting puppeted by either of them. And if Dream was a Blade, why didn’t Dream ever use any of his Blade powers? None of them even know what his Soul Weapon looked like. They don’t know what his element is. Even healer Blades have some weak attacks, and he didn’t use an of that shit! Maybe Dream should stay a rock.

“What the fuck, Tommy,” goes Sapnap.

“Maybe Tommy should reAwaken him,” says Tubbo. The issue is that Dream hated Tommy, right? If Tommy is Dream’s Driver, then that can’t happen again. Dream will help Tommy, be his friend. After all, Dream was nice in the beginning.

Dream will be Tommy’s friend sets Tommy off. “Dream was never my friend and never will be!” This is lingering trauma from the emotional manipulation from exile. Meta note, the relationship between Tommy and Dream would not be healthy at this point.

“Dream should stay with someone who was actually his friend,” Ponk disagrees. Giving a Blade to someone who was their enemy seems ethically dubious.

“Sapnap,” says Quackity.

“Not Sapnap,” says everyone else.

“Fine, George then.”

Sapnap, who is still having a breakdown and is processing 1000+ things and just realized that George might have been Dream’s Driver, based the fact that he re-met Dream as George’s friend and also George’s weird behavior around the dethronement, “Not George.”

“You should leave Dream as a rock,” Tommy repeats.

“I still think it would be better if he stayed with Sapnap,” says Quackity. This is partly to support his fiancé and partly because he thinks having a Blade in his sphere of influence would help his plans. “What do you think, Ranboo?”

“Um, Karl?” It sounds shaky, and the pronunciation is weird. Ranboo leaves.

People present: Tommy, Tubbo, Puffy, Quackity, Sapnap, Antfrost, Badboyhalo, Ponk, Awesamedude.

Karl is friendly. He is minimally involved in server politics at this point (since El Rapids is mostly forgot about in comparison to L’Manberg, and L’Manberg is a hole in the ground). He is Quackity’s other fiancé, so this is still a good solution for Q. Tubbo likes Karl. Tommy is kind of “eh” about it, but he also thinks that Dream should not be reAwakened at this point. Everyone else talks over him. Sam is okay with Karl, but he would prefer to have Dream as his Blade.

“Sapnap, can you bring the core crystal to Karl?”

The core crystal is Not There.

Everyone freaks out. Sapnap demands that everyone empty their inventory. Nobody present has the core crystal (or they are pretending they don’t. Sapnap isn’t sure how much he can trust them). When was the last time anybody remembered seeing it? Well, that was when Punz pointed to it and left. Okay, so Punz doesn’t have it.

Who left?

Ranboo, HBomb, Eret, Niki, and Jack Manifold.

On the Nether side of the portal, EW!Ranboo drops Dream’s core crystal into Punz’s hand. Even if someone were to come through the portal now, they wouldn’t be able to see them. Punz was actively pushing aether into his passive powers, rendering the two of them completely unnoticeable. Once Punz has the core crystal, he steps back. EW!Ranboo completely loses track of him as he leaves.

EW!Ranboo scribbles the basics of what happened in his memory book, Dream tried to kill Tommy and Tubbo. We rescued them. Dream is a Blade and they are fighting about who Dream’s new Driver will be. I am worried about the outcome. Then he gives control back to Ranboo.

So everyone goes into the Nether, and they see Ranboo standing there putting away with his memory book. Ranboo says, “What happened?”

“Ranboo, can you empty your inventory?” The core crystal is Not There (anymore).

Ranboo apologizes to Tubbo, “I’m sorry. Thinks were very stressful. I don’t remember what happened at the confrontation.”

Three days later, Punz Awakens Dream as his Blade. “Hey, buddy. You doing okay?”

“…Resonance feels different from George. It’s weird to have a comparison.”

Results of Staged Finale:

Punz is not under suspicion for having Dream or helping Dream before he was killed. Ranboo is also not under suspicion. Dream has been reAwakened with all his memories (the experiments worked!). They can now continue further experiments in peace. Everyone at Staged Finale is now very suspicious of each other. The idea of someone on the server can just pull a Blade with Dream’s fighting skills, unknown powers, and the blind loyalty of all New Blades out of their inventory unnerves people. Tensions are high, but most people are reluctant to get into actual fights for the moment because what if.

Dream is avoiding the SMP in general, but if someone does see him he can just say “I have no idea who you are, got to go.” There is a greatly reduced risk of immediate attack as long as he pretends to be an amnesiac new Blade if he is discovered.

[icyfox17]

they lost :(

do you want to write about them being friends?

I KNOWW I SAW IM SO SADWAJOIWE R:(( wails BUT HEY it was pretty close to 50/50 so im happ B)

also ty for the prompt i haven't written orphanduo in so long this actually made me really happy eueueu

It’s pouring outside. Absolutely pouring. A torrential one if you will. The wind is howling, and Techno worries for the safety of their house from the massive tree in their backyard. 

Techno looks over to where his dog is sitting perfectly at the front door, tilting his head back and forth. “No, Floof. We are not going on a walk in this weather. Are you crazy?”

Floof whines, before jumping up and down in a circle and barking. 

Techno gives him a deadpan look. “You are. You have finally lost it.”

Floof ignores him, and continues to bark. There is no way Techno is giving in to this tiny demonic ball of white fluff. 

Techno stands up, and instead of going towards the front door, he moves to the back one. He unlatches the lock, and waits for Floof to come running. Floof does, without hesitation, and Techno can hear the clitter clatter of his nails hitting the hardwood. When Floof reaches the door, Techno slides it open, and all of the sudden the pouring rain and rushing wind become much, much louder. 

Floof sits in front of the door, and turns to look at Techno. Techno is pretty sure he can see the despair in his dog’s eyes.  

“Yeah. Thought so. You’re just gonna have to wait it out bud,” says Techno as he closes the door, latching the lock.

Floof this time doesn’t argue, and instead lies down in front of the door whining.  Techno gives him a pat twice on the head before, going back to where he was gaming on his computer. He was mining for his new faction on the (twentieth) Minecraft server Skeppy had forced him to join. 

A flash of thunder rocks the house, and he looks back out at the stormy world outside. Really, he can’t see anyone going outside in this weather. He pauses, looking back at the Minecraft world on his computer screen. Unless…

The Blade

help

can u come over rn

Annoying Dumbass #1 whtat?!??!

The Blade

floof knocked over the bookshelf downstairs

can u come right away

i cannot pick it back up myself

Annoying Dumbass #1

how the hlel did floof di taht?!?! isnt he tiny?!?!?

The Blade

you underestimate how much force is in that tiny body of his

Annoying Dumbass #1

ur fcuking w me

The Blade

im not

ill give you the first piece of netherite i find on this server

Annoying Dumbass #1

…

fine, but istg if this is a troll techno—

It is. But Skeppy doesn’t need to know that until he gets here. Plus, Techno wasn’t lying when he told him he would give him the netherite he found. Techno isn’t that cruel.

Techno prepares them hot chocolate and popcorn, planning on gaslighting Skeppy that the whole reason he tricked him over was so they could watch a movie together, and definitely not because he just thought it would be funny to see him get soaked.

As Techno is mixing the powder into the heated milk, he hears a knocking on the door and grins. He finishes stirring, before grabbing one of Floof’s towels and walking to the door.

He opens it to reveal a completely soaked Skeppy. His hair is dripping into his face, and the thin wind-breaker he’s thrown on has been changed from the light aqua colour it normally is, to a dark blue. 

“You are so lucky I only live five minutes away,” Skeppy says, glaring at him.

“Oh Skeppy, what would I ever do without you?” Techno replies, taking a step back so Skeppy can enter his house. 

As Skeppy is taking his shoes off, Techno closes the door behind him, locking it before throwing the dog towel at Skeppy’s back.

It drops to the floor, and Skeppy picks it up. He’s about to rub his face with it, before he squints at it. “Is this Floof’s?”

Techno shrugs. “Maybe. You got a problem with that?”

“I’m not a dog, Techno!”

“Debatable.”

Skeppy throws the towel at Techno’s face, laughing. “Fuck you, Techno!”

Techno cackles back, before making his way to the kitchen, grabbing him the clean and human towel he had prepared before, and giving that one to Skeppy. He then goes to finish the popcorn he was making.

Skeppy follows him all the way through, and when he gets to the kitchen he pauses, scanning the living room where the singular bookshelf that Techno’s family has downstairs is. There’s silence for one moment before, “Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me.”

“You really have to get better at not being gullible, man. You give Bad shit all the time for it, but really man? You thought Floof knocked that down?”

Skeppy laughed. “Shut up, man! I hate you so much.”

“I’m still going to give you the netherite.”

“...Okay. I hate you a little much.”

“That’s not grammatically correct at all.”

“Fuck off.”

Techno finishes with the popcorn, and hands Skeppy the mug of hot chocolate he’d made him. “Let’s go watch Megamind.”

Skeppy takes it without hesitation, and follows Techno to the couch in the living room, with the very clearly knocked over bookshelf. “You could’ve just asked me to come over.”

“This was funnier.”

“You are the worst.”

“I made you hot chocolate and popcorn, and this is how I’m treated? Fine, next time you’ll get nothing in return.”

“No, no no no no— It’s great. Thank you, Techno.”

“That’s more like it.”

[999moreyears]

oh yeah. my fucked up and evil dreams... ... pasted from my notes app!!!!!!! long post warni g ...

stream where twitch chat became the horrors and everyone was there also grian mumbo skeppy bbh slinecicle tubbo mariana jack manifild quackity pactw ranboo nihachu philza

when tubbo brought the gi he met slimecicle and they did a riadtrip to get to the island and did a dine and dash at one poing lol. they also stole a car and also rode a train go get to the island meeting.

then twitch chat was allowed on as spectators and in creative then we all found trucks underground ao i put my name charlie :) then admins kick us all out!!

when the trucks were revealed then they had all of twitch chats stuff and then allo the grans prideflag on one and the poc lgbtqia+ flag on the other

they all build house and get acared and tubbo was a pirate with god complex who killed a famiky besideds for a girl and ahe stayed on his ship with him to begon woth and when he got to the island the girl was evil....!??? but she stayed with tubbo and hated slimecicle then at the end she used evil magic and slimecicle was a spider hybrid (many arms) and she held him up multiple feet off the ground and dropped him so he would die and respawn with no limbs. tubbo ran into his house that was all blue and she grabbed his face and killed him. the girl kinda looked like juana flippa grown up and jay ferin at the same time.

day 2

mumbo was so scared and his house was a big png of a turtle in its shell shaking . it did no protection so he got scared again. be went to a house and looked at those floating eyes from the herobrine mod idk the name and then almost got killed . then he went to grian and scared hin really bad and almoat got knocked into lava.

they stayed together for now.

bbh stied to find skeppy by jumping over lollipops that fell over lave to get to skeppy but he shut a door on him then he had to run back out ... also skeppy was a roblox avatar instead of his minecraft one

drawings of how some of it looked.. wow

[scoops404]

I spent a while thinking about this story again. I mentioned in the post above that I thought about this as I was falling asleep. That's very typical for me when I'm excited about an idea. I realized I needed a few more instances of DNF falling into the fwb dynamic, and thus this part was born (you'll see)

Okay - morning writing is in (this is also a very good writing day, btw) and I'm done with lunch time writing (normally would have been a bit longer but I have a huge client presentation today)

Continuation of the original snippet/beginning scene:

Morning words:

“We should—” George starts to say, when reality starts sinking in. “We should stop.” But Dream bucks his hips up and his dick rubs against George’s so very nicely and suddenly he can’t think any farther than getting vertical.

They scramble into the closest room—Dream’s—while the energy between them heightens. In Dream’s bed, whatever forward momentum they had dissipates.

Dream’s mouth presses against George’s, lips soft and plush, but the drive to do more, go farther, disappears.

George finds that he isn’t disappointed. He lets Dream’s beard tickle at his cheeks, enjoys the way his bigger body feels pressed up against George—like one of Dream’s famous hugs, but more intimate. Longer lasting.

They giggle and press drunken kisses back and forth until they both fall asleep in Dream’s bed.

-

They didn’t really mention that night—George woke up to a bottle of water and some advil on the nightstand, gulped it down thankfully, and punched Dream in the arm later for leaving a hint of a hickey on his neck. They laughed it off.

George keeps waiting for Dream to mention it, to want to talk about it, but it never comes. In the next few days, when George purposefully doesn’t bring it up, Dream’s eyes seem to be thankful and relieved.

It doesn’t take long to emigrate to the land of forgotten things.

-

That is, until a few months later, it happens again.

This time, there’s no alcohol involved. Well, neither of them are intoxicated. George has barely had a sip. He’s found he doens’t love being drunk and he hates the increasingly awful hangovers as he gets older even worse. So he doesn’t drink often.

The Munchy MC crew is over, plus Sylvee, Hannah, and Puffy. They streamed a bit, across different channels, boosting each other’s streams like it’s 2020 again. George enjoys having them over.

Later, after the cameras are off and the drinks come out, the games begin.

They’re such stupid games, things none of them really felt like they got the chance to play as teenagers.

“Dream,” Skeppy says, on his turn once Hannah the rule follower pointed out he can’t pick Bad for a dare again. “Dream, I dare you to—to kiss the prettiest girl here.”

It’s like the air is sucked out of the room. For a heartbeat, George looks over at Sylvee in her cute black crop top, at Hannah, with her long hair and longer legs, at Puffy with her cool energy and wonders—which one will it be? Which one is he going to have to watch Dream kiss?

[and now lunch words]

He keeps his face frozen, trying to fix his expression so he won’t give anything away. Give what away? He doesn’t even know. How could he know? He doesn’t—

Dream smiles a dumb, stupid smile, the one he gets when he’s cooking something up. He makes a beeline for Hannah and everyone starts carousing and jeering, Puffy flicks him off with two middle fingers, but at the last second—Dream swerves.

He basically dives into George’s lap and plants a kiss right on his lips. George doesn’t even have enough time for it to register before Dream pulls back and everyone dissolves into laughter and screams—how dare Dream “cheat” like this.

George pushes Dream off of him, into the space opening up from Hannah leaning away in shock and delight.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater!” Sapnap calls, the tease clear in his voice. If anyone else said that shit, Sapnap would knock their lights out.

“Bro’s down bad,” Punz agrees, but there’s a hint of a heart in his eyes like he finds it cute. George can’t look at him. Because he can’t reach Punz, he elbows Dream painfully.

“You gotta admit George is the prettiest one here,” Dream says, with that stupid tone in his voice. He’s putting on a show and it’s—George shouldn’t have a problem with it.

“You are so stupid,” he says quietly, still a little in shock.

“You liked it,” Hannah says with a lascivious smirk.

“Dream barely even kissed you,” Sam points out. “Dream, if you gave me a little smooch, I’d eat that up, man. I’d love it. You should give him a real one.”

“Yeah,” Bad agrees, usually the voice of reason—to some extent—in these situations. “Kiss him! We’ve been watching you two muffins for years, there’s no cameras on, do a real kiss.”

Dream looks over at George, the joke gone from his eyes to be replaced with a hint of panic. Well, George isn’t the one who got him in this situation. It’s his own dumb fault. Or maybe Skeppy’s. Or Hannah’s for insisting he can’t dare Bad again. All George knows is that it’s not George’s fault.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” All their stupid dumb idiot friends start chanting, Sylvee’s voice particularly high pitched on his left. And Dream keeps sending panicked eyes at George until George gives up, gives in, grabs Dream’s t-shirt and hauls him in for a real kiss.

It’s punitive. It’s a show.

George has never backed down from a dare, even one that isn’t his dare, but he’s not going to let himself be humiliated here. He’s going to take back the power.

Dream’s lips feel as good as they did the last time.

He hates his mouth the way a sinner hates heaven.

For a second, just a second, he falls into the kiss and the world around them disappears. Their friends blink out of existence, like they’ve disapparated, and all George knows is Dream’s mouth moving with his, the dance they fall into, the way they can pick up a game like It Takes Two and immediately fall into a partnership.

It’s Dream that backs away, pulls off. It’s always Dream starting shit and then backing off when it gets too intense.

George doesn’t need to think about that too deeply.

When the room comes back into focus, they’re quiet. Too quiet. Eyes are darting around, catching each other’s curious gazes, no one quiet knowing what to say.

Well, George knows the perfect thing to say. He pushes Dream hard until he falls on his ass.

“Pussy,” George says and pops the balloon with a pin.

Writing a Scoops Fic

With Scoops. Featuring: Scoops.

This will get long, so it's under the cut. And it will contain spoilers for the fic, which kinda seem obvious, but alas.

Lol okay, when an initial idea hits me, I usually send it out into the universe to see if it's a good idea (sometimes in private DMs and sometimes I'll tweet it). This idea struck me yesterday when I was watching my niece and nephew and my dad off-handedly mentioned the show "I didn't know I was pregnant" (i'm staying with my parents while my apartment is being renovated and I'm slowly dying)

Here's the idea:

I tweeted this idea out to my private twitter at 5:22pm yesterday and then all my friends slowly exploded. The more I think about it, the more i think Mario anon might have done something similar (they've covered pretty much all the mpreg tropes but are usually sfw and established relationship). So, to make this idea my own, it'll be nsfw (hi, hello, it's me. And that's like the super fun part about writing this idea) and not established relationship - friends with benefits immediately makes this situation even more complicated. I'm in.

There's no time or energy to write last night so I stewed on the idea and when I got to work this morning I made myself focus on my novel writing (that should be the priority but im currently stuck). And wrote some then. But for on my lunch break, I thought, why not? Let's see what comes out. I talked with my friends at work for like thirty minutes and then wrote 828 words. I'm going to share all of those words with you at the end. This is very vulnerable for me because I'm purposefully not going to clean them up or edit, just show you what I've raw dogged. ((to be fair, though, i think the opening line is like banging))

Then, on my drive home, I thought about it more and more and most of the plot materialized in my head. As of now, I can picture two scenes really clearly, and that's enough to build a long fic or even a long one shot out of. (I also did this with There's Hope Out the Window)

The first scene is the one you're about to read. The second scene is George waking up in the hospital with Dream next to him, calmly explaining he had to have emergency surgery, and their baby is too little and might not make it. Lots of Drama. The idea of one of those fireplace blowy things that looks like an accordion came to me and George feeling like someone used one of those and blew love into him until he was sick with it -- that's how much he immediately loves his baby. It's a boy. He has to stay in NICU for weeks and the drama will unfold from there.

[dreamsmp]

why does every post you guys make about the mcyt community look like this

dream: *detailed analysis*

george: *detailed analysis*

badboyhalo: *detailed analysis*

sapnap: *detailed analysis*

techno: *detailed analysis*

skeppy: *about 5 words, given the worst roles, pretty obvious op doesn’t like or care about him*

wilbur: *detailed analysis*

tommy: *detailed analysis*

tubbo: *detailed analysis*

like don’t bother including skeppy if you don’t actually care about him. because you just end up giving him the worst descriptions and making it look like he’s the lamest out of everyone. i promise it’s not racist if you exclude skeppy. it’s more racist when you include him for obvious “diversity1!1!!1” brownie points. just treat him like normal.

the real issue arises when you support every single other mcyt streamer besides skeppy. so unless you’re doing that, stop adding skeppy as the token poc. it’s weird and i’m begging y’all to stop.

[beeindaclouds]

Hi Azrael! could you possibly do a hc where the reader is currently recovering from sh and is going through withdrawals? (i believe that’s what it’s called) and how ccs would comfort them during a particular bad day?

also could i be 🦇 anon?

Hallo, thank you for requesting!

TW: SH

I really want to write this not only to bring some type of comfort for people who have done or are currently doing this, but also because it's a topic that hits too close to home

Welcome to the family 🦇 anon, hope you enjoy <3

DSMP reacting to Reader recovering from TW: SH

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Quackity,Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, C!Philza, C!Technoblade, Nihachu, Eret, Punz, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude, C!Slimecicle

Click here before requesting, please

You've been clean for almost a year now

Everybody has been so kind to you, patient when they needed to be and they helped you get through all the tough times

And you really appreciated the help, you did, but...sometimes the brain wants to do it's own thing

You were going through a difficult period and your brain was not helping with all the dangerous thoughts

So before you could do anything that you will regret, you called upon your most trusted person

For the C!members you showed up in front of their house

Dream will first calm you down, tell you that everything's ok and that you will get through this togheter. Then he'll come visit you and talk you though all your problems

George, not being good with words, just tells you to stay on the phone while he comes to you. He brings you into his chest the second he's there, hugging you close as you sob away

Sapnap with no doubt runs to your house and calms you down. Once you're both calm and laying on your bed, he softly caressed your old scars as he mumbles about how proud he is and how you can still keep going cause he believes in you

Bad, in a fit of panic, leaves everything he was doing to calm you down. You two laughed it off later as you questioned why Bad was crying when you should be the one crying, he just answerd with a simple "I care about you..."

Skeppy blanked out for a bit, scared that anything he would say would made things worse, but he knew that in this moment you needed comfort more than anything. And that's what he did

Quackity tells you to "Not do anything" before closing the call. You had no time to react cause he was already under your house and ready to take you out. The distraction really helped you

Karl comforts you through the phone, calming you down with his words, before asking you to come over so that you could have a cartoon marathon like you always do

Wilbur is always good with his words and calms you down instantly. Before you could thank him and ask to maybe hang out, you hear a knock on your door. There he is, food in one hand and his phone in the other, just the perfect way to recover after a good cry

C!Philza pulled you inside before you could stutter your way through an explanation, seeing you cry was already a big sign. He made you comfortable, gave you a hot drink and let you talk away as he warmed you up with one of his wings, which also acted as a warming hug

C!Techno listens to you talk through tears and sobs, sometimes jumping in with advices that, even with his cold voice and attitude, somehow bring you comfort

Nihachu comforts you through the call, she reminds you of all the things you still have to do with her and all your friends. She makes you feel important, that you have a place in this world and so many things to live for

Eret quickly comes visit you, buying something warm to drink and snacks on the way there. You two sit down and talk it out, them giving you a hand with any problems you may have

Punz tells you to slow down and breath, to listen to his voice and concentrate on that before doing anything. It gets you to calm down, bringing you hyperventilation to a pause, and he quickly tells you that he'll be there in 5 before hanging up

Foolish ended up panicking a little too much, which resulted in making you smile a bit. Hearing your small chuckles made him calm down and concentrate on the main problem, which he is quickly solved by inviting you to his house to stay togheter for a bit

Sam, upon hearing your sobs, is already under your house in under two minutes. The second you open the door he is there to comfort you, with kisses and hugs and wiping your tears away. Loving mumbles were shared between you two as he hugs you tightly

C!Slimecicle doesn't understand what SH is, or why any human would purposely do it, but he understands that you are sad cause crying = sad. So he surprises you by dissolving into goop and coming back, which forces a laugh out of you and distracts you from the previous pain

To anybody that has done or is thinking of doing SH. Please don't be scared to seek out help. It may be hard, and you may feel like it won't help, but please at least try.

Don't do this for me, a random stranger on the internet, or your family and friends. Do it for yourself, for your future self

Stay safe and take care <3

[angstyboodle]

Brain rotting a bedrock bros au where Tommy works late nights at a near by fast food place and Techno works throughout the day so he can be there when Tommy gets home or able to pick him up. They lived like this for years, ever since their parents up and left.

You what they say, it’s a choice to be a parent. Guess theirs decided to only be a parent until their eldest can legally take care of the baby of the family, that doesn’t matter. Techno can be a parent and an older brother, that’s his choice. It will always be his choice.

He also hates that Tommy works so late, hates it even more when he has to walk home from work. His kid brother would always brush off his concerns, saying he’s fine. Joke that if he were to be kidnapped they’d bring him back. Techno would roll his eyes, never finding the joke funny.

That’s the thing isn’t it, it was supposed to be a joke. Tommy was supposed to be home an hour ago. loudly telling Techno about his day, eating the dinner techno made and reheated for him. A plate of his own in front of him, as he nodded along to his little Brother’s chatting. That’s how things always went ever since Tommy started working, that’s how things are meant to stay until Tommy can provide for himself, graduate secondary school, went off to college or decided to move in with a few of his friends only to show up on Techno’s doorstep after a few months with some awful lie about why he has to move back. Because he’s to proud to admit they couldn’t afford rent or whatever.

…okay maybe that last one was his brain running a bit off it’s hinges, but you get the point.

Tommy isn’t home, he’s not by Techno at their cramped dinner table in their small apartment. It’s taken everything in himself not to go John Wick in an attempt to find its brother. He’s taken a less gory route for now, this would be his second loop to and from his home to Tommy’s work. He interrogated his coworkers, all of them confirming that Tommy left his place of work exactly at 10 pm with his usually cup of hot chocolate he takes home with him after every shift.

Techno can feel his world start to crumble as he desperately explains this to the dispatch officer. Not caring how the world will see him, as he all but screams out into the night begging for his little brother to come home.

-

Tommy is scared, comfortable and warm, but still scared. He’s not locked in a basement, chains to walls or half beaten to death. Sure he was knocked out and now he has a nasty headache because of it. Maybe not being held in some dingy, gross place would make him feel better, but it doesn’t. It only scares him more as he glares at the bedroom door. It’s locked, and his shoulder hurts from when he tried to ram his body into it. His face feels tight from the tears he definitely didn’t cry as begged anyone to hear him, to save him. Begging Techno to come and help, wanting nothing more then to see his big brother.

He ignores the heaviness that settles into his chest. Kicking himself for being so stupid, he should have called his brother, hell even call Skeppy and ask for a ride. If Techno wasn’t home, Skeppy has never said no to him, and probably never will. Sure he may tease and make fun, but when Techno and him needed anything Skeppy and his family would always be there to give a helping hand.

A fresh wave of tears well in his eyes as he wishes he could go back in time. It’s not fair, why him? Why couldn’t he have just been able to go home to his brother. The door handle to the room clicks and Tommy freezes. Head shooting up in time to see a two people stand in the doorway. He can feel their eyes on him, it makes his skin crawl.

“See dad, a new son!” One says, there’s not enough light to see which one.

He pales. Nothing is said but a hum, but that doesn’t matter as tears stream down his face.

Son? He doesn’t have a dad, not anymore. He has an older brother who would do anything for him, he doesn’t need a dad.

“Wilbur, we talked about this.” The time is scolding, slightly amused. Like he’s taking about being surprised with a stray dog and not a kidnapped child.

“I know, but I can see how an empty nest has been affecting you. So, look at it this way, you get a new son, and I get a brother!” He assumes Wilbur says.

Tommy is scared shitless, but he can feel his anger bubble under his skin. Staring at the two with a mix of horror and fury. Upset that they think they can just take him away from his home, and talk about him like he’s some fucking pet.

“What the fuck are you talking about!?” Tommy shouts, curling tightly in on himself. “I have a brother! I don’t need a stupid fucking dad! Let me go home!”

The air suddenly felt tense, the silence deafening. But he glares at the two, refuses to back down. He wishes he was at home, one hug from Techno and everything will be alright.

“He’s a brave, I’ll give him that.” Not Wilbur says, in a tone he can’t quite describe.

Tommy wants to scream, he wants to sob and cry, he wants to be held tightly in Techno’s arms. And strangely he wishes for his parents, wanting to hear his mom whisper her reassurances. Wanting to feel his dad’s steady presence, he cries more.

“When my brother finds me, you’ll pay. He will make sure you pay.” He sobs into his knees.

He can hear a set of footsteps, suddenly feeling like a deer about to be ambushed.

“Look at me mate.” It’s not asking.

He looks up, not wanting to find out what would happen if he didn’t.

He’s met with red, crimson, like freshly spilled blood. He feels his heart stop for a moment, suddenly unable to get in a proper breath. His fear leaving him paralyzed at he looks into the eyes of a creature that is supposed to be a myth.

He hears it laugh, before speaking again. “I would like to see him try, after all these centuries, maybe someone can finally get close to killing me.”

And all Tommy can do is stare off into space, realizing he might never get to see his big brother again.

[angy-mouse]

Chapter 6: One Boytoy, Two Boytoy

<Prev Next>

“Your Majesty, I- what the fuck are you doing?”

You blinked in surprise at Sean’s sudden appearance, smiling as if you weren’t wrestling Rosanna for a whisk to lick clean of frosting. “Nothing,” you chirped, still trying to reach around her as she tried to knock you away with devastating hip checks.

“... Never mind, we don’t have time. U.N.E. Here. Now.”

“Fuck,” you gasped, dashing out the door (but not without dipping a spoon into the frosting first). “Fuck, fuck, fuuuck, they aren’t supposed to be here for another hour!” You jammed the spoon into your mouth as you speed walked, Sean’s long legs easily keeping pace.

“You know those three- I’m sure Bad will apologize profusely for being late because he wanted to be three hours early.”

You grunted around your spoon. “It was great when I was a child and he’d let me ride on his shoulders for hours- now I know how my father must have felt. I still have to double-check the seating, discuss the itinerary with the musicians-”

“I’ll take care of the musicians,” he offered, undoing the knot of your apron as you walked. “Gentle playing during the signing, fast-paced directly after to celebrate, then soft during the meal, right?”

“Yes, but the seating-”

Sean pulled you to a stop in front of the door, plucking the spoon from your mouth and the apron from around your neck, making sure your gown was still pristine. “There’s plenty of time to finalize that, just focus on your guests for now so the contracts actually get signed.”

“Right as always,” you chuckled, feeling him lift a huge weight off your shoulders as you exchanged a hearty high-five.

“Wapush! Go get ‘em, lass- Your Majesty!”

“Your Irish almost came out there,” you teased as he walked off, flipping you off behind his back. You straightened out your gown one more time before nodding to the maid waiting for you. You walked in as casually as possible as she announced you. “Terribly sorry for the wait, I’m sure you understand how busy-” Suddenly the chandelier was grazing the top of your head.

“My precious little muffin! Look at you, all grown up! Oh, when did that happen, huh? I remember when you were just ankle high with your cute little pigtails-”

“Nice to see you, too, Bad,” you wheezed as he swung you around, legs dangling and lungs constricted under his tight grip.

“Uh, she has to breathe, you know.”

“Oh!” He hastily set you on your feet, holding your hands gently in his much larger ones to make sure you were steady as you tried to catch your breath as subtly as possible to not upset him- you were sure he’d never forgive himself if he thought he hurt you. “I’m sorry, dear, are you alright?”

“You practically strangled her in her first year on the throne-”

“I’m fine,” you assured, casting Skeppy a joking glare as you squeezed Bad’s hands in yours. “You shouldn’t antagonize him so much, you know how he worries.”

“Oh, you and Skeppy are so mean,” Bad huffed, but quickly got over it as he seemed to realize something. He let go of you and stepped aside to join his husband, revealing Prince Sapnap in all his socially awkward glory. In many ways he was exactly as you remembered- the unruly hair and the warm eyes that felt like a cozy evening by the fire when you looked into them- but, much as it pained you to admit it, he was clearly a much different boy- a different man than you’d last seen.

“Your Highness,” you greeted cordially, holding your hand out to be kissed.

“Your Majesty,” he greeted back, one hand coming from behind his back to hold yours as he pressed his lips firmly to the back before straightening up again, but he didn’t let you go. His hand was as warm as a bonfire, but it was a comforting heat, and you found it somehow complimented his slightly calloused fingers that clung to yours.

A wide grin broke through your facade of formality, gripping his hand and using it to pull him into your arms. It felt like hugging a wall, practically smothering your cheek between his pecs just to get your arms around him. “It’s been forever,” you laughed, faltering when your arm hit something hard and bulky behind his back. “Hmm? What’s that?”

“O-Oh, uh, well, I wasn’t sure what to bring for your gift-”

Ah, yes, the gift. It was custom for the concubine’s father to present the Emperor with a gift for taking in his daughter- typically land or horses or some other flaunt of wealth. But you had no interest in that sort of thing, you wrote when you sent out the acceptance letters. You asked for a gift from the men you were welcoming into your home for the foreseeable future- something with more meaning behind it.

“-I know you always wanted a pet, so I just thought… Well, anyway, uh, here,” he trailed off, face turning red as he took a step back, holding the carrier between you. “He’s from last season’s clutch, so he’s already got some basic training, but he’s still young, so you can name him and teach him new things and-”

You felt your heart flutter as a little flat head poked out of one of the holes in the carrier, forked tongue poking out as you studied each other. “Oh, Sapnap, he’s precious,” you cooed, rubbing the top of his head with your finger and watching him preen. “I can’t believe you remembered! He’s just the prettiest color, too,”

His nerves visibly lightened on his face, mouth curling into a smile as he watched you play with the baby dragon. “Of course I remembered, you only asked for one every birthday and Solstice.”

“You’re just too sweet,” you decided, cupping his cheek and leaning on your toes to kiss the other. You giggled as his face started burning red again, and he held the carrier up higher to block your view. 

“Well- uh- ahem- maybe I could help you take care of him sometime- since I’m going to be, uh, staying here-”

“Ahem,” you heard, making you jump before glancing over Sapnap’s shoulder to find your head of security at the door. “Announcing the arrival of King Taken and Prince Dream of Selgia,” Mark bellowed before stepping aside to let them in.

Sapnap whipped back around to face you, eyes wide and jaw dropped. “You accepted Dream?”

“Of course I did,” you muttered back, “I’ve planned for at least four years of reign before starting a war.” You politely excused yourself, Bad happily waving you off to take your place talking to his son as you approached the Selgia royals.

“It’s His Majesty Taken and His Highness Dream- do get it right next time, young man, or I’ll see to it your job goes to someone who knows respect-”

“King Taken,” you greeted, feeling your genuine smile from reuniting with your old friends fade away into a political one. “I do hope you aren’t trying to intimidate my staff. Mr. Iplier has dealt with far more frightening threats than any of us can imagine, and without a scratch to be seen. I wouldn’t dream of replacing him.” Mark smiled with his chest puffed in pride as the foreign king tried to regain his composure.

“Of course, Emperor, I merely- well, I only meant-”

“Do forgive my father,” Prince Dream interrupted, stepping forward and taking one of your hands in both of his. “I’m afraid being away from home always puts him in a sour mood. But if I may say, Your Majesty, your photos simply don’t do you justice- you are absolutely breathtaking.”

You hated him. His eyes were cold, his smile so clearly painted on, and every word out of his mouth was a politically smart lie. If Sapnap was a warm evening by the fire, Dream was a cold knife inches from your throat. 

“And you, charming,” you accepted as he laid a kiss on the back of your hand- you didn’t need to like him, you just needed to prevent another war. “I’m glad you both were able to come. It will be good to show the people that there is no ill will between us.”

“Speaking of,” Dream hummed, showing off a velvet black jewelry box. “For you, Your Majesty, as thanks for welcoming me into your home.” He opened it, presenting you with a pretty pale pink heart-shaped stone in a gold ivy setting on a matching chain. “An alma stone pendant, enchanted by our royal sorceress for luck and prosperity.”

It was a gorgeous stone and a beautiful necklace. It was a kind gesture. It was pathetically perfunctory. You supposed you should expect nothing more from someone you’ve never met, let alone someone who would have benefitted from your death mere months ago, but after Sapnap’s thoughtful gift… No, you criticized yourself, this whole thing was strictly business, and you wouldn’t allow yourself to forget that a second time.

“How lovely,” you mused politely. “Would you put it on for me?” With the chaos of arranging this event, you could use a little luck.

“It would be my pleasure, Your Majesty.”

With your hair put up neatly, you simply folded your hands, letting him circle around you to clasp the chain around your throat. Everything about Dream unnerved you, from his perfect posture to the practically clinical way he put the necklace on you. He was the handsome, obedient, smart, and charming son every ruler hoped for. The only problem was that son didn’t exist. Whether it was a sour personality, a penchant for women, or an addiction of some kind, Dream was lying about his true personality to please either you or his parents- and you despised liars.

“Thank you,” you said anyway as the cold metal settled around your throat.

“Of course,” he purred. His hands rested on your shoulders as he leaned down, breath fanning over your ear. His touch was as cold and unyielding as the stone on your clavicle. "Perhaps this evening-"

"Dame Minx of the Royal Guard!"

You looked past King Taken, red-faced as he prepared another tangent against the security officer, no doubt, and watched Minx glare at the shorter man.

"With all the screaming you do, I pity your girlfriend," she muttered disdainfully. You hid a snicker as he responded by lifting his small horn and giving a short toot right in her ear. She recovered quickly, though- she was always amazing at keeping a facade of professionalism. "Majesty, you're being asked for in the dining hall." 

"I'm sure it's nothing someone else can't take care of," the king interrupted sharply- you sure weren't looking forward to visiting Selgia any time soon if this is how he acted as a guest. "Can't you see Her Majesty is busy? Why, if-"

"It's quite alright," you rushed to soothe him. You offered both Selgia men your hands, which they accepted, tucking them into the crooks of their elbows as they let you guide them to join the others at the other end of the hall. "I prefer to do the final check on everything myself, so I told them to send for me." It was only partially a lie, but you were sure Minx had a good reason for fetching you- especially after she oh so cruelly abandoned you this morning to prepare with the rest of the guard. "Mark, will you call someone-"

"Right here, Your Majesty."

You jumped at the sudden appearance of the maid just a few feet away, trying to recover as Dream's chuckling made you realize you'd clung to him in shock. "Ah- yes, thank you, Lizzy," you managed as you released both men, turning to address all five foreign nobles. "Lizzy will take you to the study so you can relax after your long trip and prepare for the feast. Lizzy, please get them a contract copy to look over. After, please take…" you frowned as you blanked on a name. "I'll name him later, but please take that little cutie from Sapnap and bring him to my chambers."

"Please don't call a dragon 'cutie,'” Sapnap joked, barely above a mutter as he no doubt pushed through his social anxiety to try and be funny. "You'll emasculate him."

You let a grin stretch on your lips. "I'm going to name him something ridiculously cute like Mr. Sniffles, and you can't stop me." 

"How dastardly," 

You allowed yourself a short giggle as he let Lizzy take the carrier before painting back on your air of pleasant formality. "Well then, I look forward to seeing you all this evening," you dismissed, taking Minx's offered arm and letting her lead you into the hall. “So, what’s going wrong this time?”

“What if I told you I pulled you away just because I missed you?”

“You shouldn’t lie to your emperor, it’s unbecoming.”

“You wound me.” She sighed when you continued staring at her, waiting for an answer. “Captain scolded me for trying to help secure the perimeter instead of returning to you… and I really didn’t want to listen to old men and sleazy princes try to woo you.”

“Ooh, jealous much?”

“Don’t even.”

You laughed at that, letting go of her arm to get a few steps in front of her, turning around to face her as you walked backwards. “Awww, you know you’ll always be my favorite, Minx!”

“I hope you trip.”

“If I did, you would catch me because you looove me!”

“I don’t,”

“You do!”

“Lies and slander,”

You laughed again, a grin stretching across your lips as your mind raced to think of something to continue the banter, but it went away as you bumped into something. Your breath hitched as you started to fall, cursing your extremely fashionable but equally unstable shoes as you plummeted to the ground. What a tragic way to go, you mused.

“You’re such a klutz,” Minx huffed, snapping one arm around your waist as the other snatched the gaudy vase before it hit the ground.

“I knew you loved me,” you swooned, grinning as she pulled you into her chest. “You loooove me!”

“I should have let you drop,” she huffed. She let you cuddle into her chest piece as she put the vase back on its pedestal. “Should have let that drop, too, gods, that thing’s ugly.”

“Hideous,” you agreed. “But my mother loved it and daddy could never say no to her.”

“You got that from her at least.” You looked up at her with a hum, eyes fluttering shut to receive the soft kiss to your forehead. “You’re impossible to say no to.”

You laughed, bumping your nose to hers. “It’s because I’m so cute, isn’t it?”

“You’re pushing it, kid.”

[mellointheory]

Iconic Moments Egg Arc Members Gave Us:

- Eret to Sam: "You're not wearing clothes" followed by a long pause and then Sam bursting into tears yelling "I HATE EVERYTHING"

- Bad mournfully explaining how Skeppy "fell" in lava to puffy while she wears her maid Skeppy skin

- Punz canonically assigned a piss kink by Benchtrio while he was offline, followed by him appearing above the egg watching them and finally just saying "piss" in chat

- I PUT MY DUMPY IN THE PUNCH BOWL

- "Okay....don't stab me in the back..." "You stabbed me in the face. multiple times."

- canonical crabrave with stolen cake

- Ponk being so resistant to brainwashing that they have to bribe him with pastries

- Quackity and Bad both being in such a high stress standoff that they just kept yelling at Punz to back up and go away like he was some kinda attack dog

- Skeppy not being able to read

- "You'd rather hang out with a STUPID EGG than ON ME--with me?"

- that one little scene in the rain with Punz, Ant and Bad where they just kept flipping around and knocking each other off the UFO while they were trying to make evil plans

- Anything involving Ant and Puffy's maid Skeppy skins

Honorable mention: the entire weednip sequence, special mention to the part where Antfrost explained that it was medicinal weed that he bought from licenced fiverr therapist Puffy, only to later reveal that it was an excuse to keep from telling Bad that they actually bought it from Skeppy

[daggryet]

since everyone is so mad over this, you should understand what these words mean:

heartless

"displaying a complete lack of feeling or consideration."

"someone who's heartless is inconsiderate and insensitive to other people's feelings."

c!dream forcing a country he doesn't have power over to either exile one of their own or practically doom their people to being murdered and the country destroyed

c!dream systematically manipulating and abusing someone, and having them rely completely on him; and destroy everything they've built and worked for

c!dream driving c!tommy to suicide

c!dream destroying l'manberg and laughing in the face of the l'manbergians pain

c!dream forcing c!tommy and c!tubbo to come fight him alone and continously holding their trauma against them

c!dream keeping everyone's dearest attachments in a hall to hold against them and force them to do what he wants - or planning to steal their dearest item/pet/friend

c!dream being 0.2 seconds from murdering c!tubbo and throwing c!tommy in an inhumane prison cell where he'd be surrounded by lava (one of c!tommy's biggest triggers, which he'd know because he'd knocked c!tommy away from jumping)

c!dream murdering c!tommy and threatening to kill him again and again after c!tommy told him about how painful it was to die and be revived

extremely arrogant

"exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner"

"showing an offensive attitude of superiority"

c!dream's speech to c!tubbo in the ruins of the community house, proclaiming how stupid he is, how bad of a president he is, and how he just gave c!dream the only thing stopping him from destroying l'manberg

c!dream's speech to c!tommy and c!tubbo on the mountain: "i'm playing with my food" "i wanna show you how powerful i am, how powerless you are"

c!dream literally revealing his entire plan to c!tommy and c!tubbo thinking there was no way he was going to lose

c!dream's speech to c!tubbo and c!tommy in his vault

c!dream thinking that c!tommy is as attached to him as he is to c!tommy, saying c!tommy won't kill him because he thinks c!tommy also views their relationship as co-dependent

c!dream's speech to c!tommy: "i'm a god!" "we can be gods together" "we can experiment, we send you back, we can learn so much about death"

c!dream proclaiming he'll bring back c!wilbur - and that c!wilbur will feel indebted to him for reviving him

manipulative

"exercising unscrupulous control or influence over a person or situation."

"people who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want."

c!dream exploiting pogtopia's paranoia by telling them there's a traitor - that there's not a traitor - no, there is a traitor

c!dream giving new l'manberg the dilemma: "exile c!tommy or we will build the obsidian walls up to block limit, i'll have guards patrolling the walls, there will be no trade, you'll be locked in. anyone breaks those rules, and everyone gets slaughtered inside"

c!dream systematically manipulating c!tommy all throughout exile, establishing a cycle of abuse, and making c!tommy reliant on c!dream's presence

c!dream manipulating c!tubbo to think he was his friend, that c!tommy was angry and didn't want visitors (allowing c!dream to abuse c!tommy further)

c!dream stealing - or planning to steal/kidnap - everyone's dearest, including weapons, pets, and a literal person that'd be kept in a 1x3 cell - to hold it over people's heads to make them do what he wants them to. (this includes his so-called best friends, c!sapnap and c!george)

c!dream holding c!wilbur's possible revival over c!tommy's head in order to not get killed - and then revoking that promise in prison unless he's let out

tyrant

"an absolute ruler unrestrained by law or constitution."

"a ruler who exercises absolute power oppressively or brutally"

c!dream holding the rules of the server ("no griefing, no stealing") against c!tommy and l'manberg, but liberally breaking those rules himself - and allowing his allies to do the same

commands power over l'manberg's governing despite 'allowing' them independence (ie. they should not listen to c!dream obediently)

c!dream threatening to build obsidian walls all around l'manberg, force everyone to stay inside, and slaughter everyone inside if they broke a rule

commissioned a prison, that is inhumane, and planned to put not only his biggest enemy in there (who he couldn't kill), but also planned to put other people in the other cells.

destroyed l'manberg as soon as he got the disc from c!tubbo

instigated the dream smp vs l'manberg war

war: “a state or period of fighting between states or nations“

c!dream literally was the one to write the declaration of war book (and thus escalated the initial conflict into a war)

c!dream was the one to ignore l'manberg's fighting style - we fight with our words and not our swords - and made it into a violent war. "i wanna see white flags, outside your walls by tomorrow at dawn, or you are dead"

instigated the disc saga

saga: “a long, involved story, account, or series of incidents.“

it's very blurry who started it and c!dream stealing the discs were retaliation for c!sapnap and c!tommy killing him (non-canon, he was not a fatality during this war; no one was), but c!dream was the one to keep the fight going

c!dream killed c!tommy and c!sapnap multiple times to get his stuff back and stole the discs to ensure no one would sneak off with his things, and then he killed them a few more times

c!dream stole the discs repeatedly after c!tommy had gotten them back, and even traded one to c!skeppy

the disc saga is called the disc saga because the subject in question is the discs. c!dream was the one to start the series of events involved in the disc saga as he kept stealing them time and time again.

the initial conflict doesn't make it a saga, but the fact that c!dream kept the conflict going does; this making him the instigator of the saga

should the wiki have used such colourful language? i don't know, given the state of the fandom, but the words fit c!dream as we know him from the actual canon.

[kisuminight]

So let's get into the knock-on effects of the Staged Finale and how it is effecting other things on the server (mainly the Egg, since that is the closest thing to a main antagonist this story has). Previously, I mentioned that the Red Banquet doesn't happen until 6mo post-Staged Finale. This is very different from canon, where it happened a little less than 3mo out (it was early April, I think?).

Part of this is because the Egg is trying to be more subtle. Part of this is because manpower issues.

To start off with that second bit--c!Sam has not yet managed to completely tank his relationship! I mean, it's getting there. c!Ponk is not thrilled with Sam's general conspiracy-nonsense about what's going on with c!Dream, and he's super not thrilled about how invested Sam is into figuring out why Dream had him build the prision. ...But, even though the key card prank does happen, it just leads to a very large argument that starts the downward spiral of the relationship instead of a maiming. Ponk is not missing his arm, and he is dissatisfied with Sam but they're still trying, so he does not fall in with the Egg yet.

The other issue is c!Punz. Now, Punz did publicly join the Eggpire pre-Staged Finale with the "official" reason that he wanted to see some chaos. Mostly, this was a bid to get access to the new government and keep an eye on it. As a Blade, he is immune to the effects of the Egg. And in this AU, he and Dream have the experiments ongoing now, instead of Punz getting stuck waiting for the prison escape. So while he does still check up on them and make the appearance of involvement (so no one questions what he's really doing with his time), Punz is outside the main Eggpire group and not really trying to get deeper.

The Egg wants him deeper, though! Outside of Skeppy, who the Egg already has, Punz is the most active Blade on the server. He seems to be somewhat estranged from his Driver, but that just means that c!Purpled won't have Punz to help him stop the Egg. Moreover, because of the chain Resonance, if the Egg can corrupt Purpled, it can get both Dream and Punz.

Puffy still left the Eggpire, so that means that the current Eggpire group is c!Bad, c!Skeppy, and c!Ant. Three people are not enough to pick a fight with most of the server, especially when one of them is c!Techno and his Resonance with an Aegis. Also the actual Aegis, c!Philza.

So the Egg contains it's growth, slows it down. It still has the Eggpire reach out to c!Quackity, but the reason it backs off when c!Karl intervenes is more to do with the lingering feel of DreamXD around him. The Egg does not need to repeat the mistakes of the Entity by picking a fight with gods too early. For now, it chooses to stay away from Kinoko.

c!Hannah, however, is vulnerable. She's not particularly close to anyone, and her roses leave her with a weakness to the bloodvines. Hannah becomes the fourth member, and the Egg uses her penchant to give roses to other server members as a method of corruption. The roses are dipped in spores from the Egg so that it spread to unexpected places when the time is right for it to grow.

The attempts to trap Sam never happened, and the Eggpire is much less under the focus of the server because of it. Puffy's Pro-Omlette faction takes much longer to gain ground, especially since the Egg is actively avoiding the notice of Techno.

Ranboo is still a target. The Egg has noticed that sometimes Dream is in Resonance with Ranboo instead. Unfortunately for the Eggpire, this is the mistake that makes the Syndicate get curious. Techno makes his visit to the Egg around 5mo after Staged Finale.

The Egg tries to get Purpled through the contract in Puffy's life. However, just because Purpled heard the job offered and accepted it doesn't mean he's willing to stick around. The experiments are finally done, so Punz has more time to be involved, even if the Egg hasn't managed to corrupt him through Purpled yet. There's no way around it now. The Red Banquet is getting scheduled.

The Egg is very firm with both Bad and Skeppy. Normally it doesn't try to actively interfere, but it does not let the confrontation continue once it starts. It forces a blackout on them both instead. When they wake up, neither can remember why they first started arguing.

The Red Banquet invitees are Niki, Foolish, Sam, Puffy, Eret, George, Sapnap, Ponk, Ranboo, and Purpled. Purpled rejects it, saying that that type of party "isn't his scene" (he's already been blackmailed by Quackity into doing an attack).

Bad wins a few moments of sanity from the Egg changes his mind about having Sapnap come, and sends Punz to hand-deliver the rejection notice. The Egg does not want Punz there because it doesn't know how Punz will react when it comes to a fight. It wants all the Blades on its side.

The Pro-Omlette faction still plan the safeguard for if the Banquet is a trap. Sam tries to dissuade Ponk from going. Unfortunately, Ponk and Sam's relationship has gotten rocky enough that Ponk rejects Sam's warning and they have another argument. Ponk leaves in a huff.

The rest of the Red Banquet goes mostly canon, with some flipped roles. Ranboo does not go to the banquet as himself, but EW!Ranboo watches from out of sight. Ponk is the spy, having succumbed to the Egg after that latest argument with Sam. Quackity shows up with Techno and Purpled, the tables are turned, and Purpled chases the Eggpire into the tunnels.

Skeppy's abilities as very powerful, but he is an air Blade. Facing an earth Blade. And also they're underground.

Unfortunately, Hannah is very good with traps. Purpled is killed as part of the chase, losing his first canon life. The chain Resonance dissolves, and Punz and Dream both revert to core crystals. Punz reverts right in front of Sapnap, because he'd offered to spend the day with him while George went to the Banquet. Dream reverts in a secret base, known only to himself, Punz, and EW!Ranboo.

EW!Ranboo sees the notification of Purpled and Punz's deaths (Dream is still muted), and leaves to go retrieve Dream's core crystal.

Pro-Omlette discuss what to do with the Egg, and end up causing a mini-crisis when the figure out that, in this AU, Pandora's Vault was built for the purpose of containing the Egg and rehabilitating it's cult, even though Pandora's Vault's construction started months before the Eggpire was even a thing.

Quackity suggests maybe asking Punz (who worked with Dream the most before Staged Finale) if he knew anything. Techno mentions that it won't do any good to ask Punz, and reads the message <Punz faded away> aloud. Punz was a Blade, and he just died, so now he's not going to remember anything.

More conspiracies about what the heck was up with Dream and Techno leaves. Quackity decides that Purpled didn't do a good enough job of assisting, and detonates the TNT in the UFO.

Purpled is having the worst day. His friend Ponk betrayed everyone by siding with the Egg. He died. He died and now Punz is dead, Punz who has raised him for forever. Purpled doesn't even know where he was to search for his core crystal. And then, after he respawns in the UFO, the TNT detonates and it burns down around him. That one doesn't count as a canon death, but it does kick Purpled all the way back to world spawn.

Techno comes back home to find Dream's core crystal sitting on his dining room table. There is a note underneath it that reads ":)"

[heyitsoak]

Hiia

May I request skeppy with a sick!s/o or reader? (specifically a heavy flu if you'd like), They keep It a secret but soon It starts to get noticable

:O YESSS I’ve wanted to write something for Skeppy but I didn’t have any ideas lol and I apologize for replying to this really slow, I’ve been really busy as of recently and writers block sucks

Masterlist II Taglist

Skeppy With a Sick s/o

Warnings?: Nothing really, just using Skeppy’s real name?

You try to keep it a secret that you’re sick but Zak soon gets a tad bit suspicious and worried since you keep making up terrible excuses to not join him in a call

Bad finally convinced him to go visit you to see what’s wrong (You two don’t live together, he just lives close by)

When he arrives at your house he knocks on your door but you don’t answer, he starts to get worried and decides to use the extra key you gave him

Normally he wouldn’t just enter your house without permission but he was really worried since he hasn’t heard from you in a few days and he wanted to make sure you’re okay

When he gets into your house he takes note of how strangely quiet inside it is and he makes his way to your room and knocks on the door soon followed by the sound of groaning and shuffling you soon make your way to the door and open it seeing your worried boyfriend standing there

He soon breathes a sigh of relief that he didn’t realize he was holding and that doesn’t last long when he sees the state that you’re currently in, he begins to panic once more asking if you’re okay and why you haven’t answered any of his calls

You let him into your room and let him sit down on your bed as you explain to him that you’ve been sick and didn’t want to trouble him by telling him

You’ve had your phone turned off since the light of it hurt your eyes and gave you headaches so you decided it would be best to stay off of it for the time being

He tells you to lay down and rest while he goes and makes you soup- by ‘makes’ he means warming up a can of chicken noodle soup since he doesn’t know how to cook 💀

But he’s trying his best for you and that’s all that matters <3

Some time passes by and he comes back into your room with a warm bowl of soup and some medicine, he helps you sit up and gives you the soup and sets and medicine on your bedside table along with a water bottle

He asks if you need anything else and if you do he will gladly go and get it for you, he may call Bad here and there if he needs help and doesn’t know what to do or what he can do to make you feel better

But once you reassure him he feels a lot calmer about the whole situation

He tries to make you laugh and lighten the mood, he’ll probably just lay down beside you and watch YouTube, a movie or your favourite show with you

After a little while he notices that you’ve started to doze off beside him and he turns off whatever you two were watching and he snuggles up beside you and falls asleep with you

And if he happens to get sick afterwards you’ll just be there to help him like he did with you <33

I finished it :DD I apologize that I’ve been slow with requests as of lately, Highschool is starting soon and I’m worried about it :( I did finish my attacks for Art Fight though!! I’ll probably make a separate post about all the attacks I’ve done :)

And I’m also writing for South Park now!! I’ve wanted to take requests for South Park now for awhile but I was hesitant about it, my masterlist shows all the characters I will be willing to write for! <3

Edit:

Here’s the link for the Art Fight Attacks I’ve done this year!

Click Here <3

[poisoned-peppermint]

Part 4 of incorrect quotes because i feel obligated to make more due to the sheer number of people who liked it

Dream: My dearest beloved fuckos, is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech

George: See also, esteemed bastards

Bad: Gentlefolk, Ferals, and Domesticated cryptids. 

Sapnap: My fellow yees and haws

~~~~~~~

Techno:Hey I know skyrim is revered as a classic but are we just going to ignore the fact that the entire game only had like 3 voice actors

Wilbur:Stop right there criminal cum

Techno:My ancestors are smiling at me, bastard, can you say the same

~~~~~~~

Foolish:When's your bedtime :)

Purpled: Whenever I next collapse in purely up to the gods

~~~~~~

Ranboo:Human skin is a fursuit for skeletons 

Tubbo: i’m going to debone you like a fucking trout

~~~~~~

Bad:You’re enough

Bad: love yourself!!!!!!! or suffer my wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream:And by wrath I mean love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad:no I mean wrath!!!!! You reading this, if you don't love yourself I’ll beat you with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~

Bad:I hope everyone is today well! And tomorrow!!!! After that you’re on your own.

~~~~~~

Bad:what am I supposed to do all day while you’re at work

Skeppy:I don’t know, what do you normally do while I’m gone

Bad: wait for you to get back

~~~~~~

Velvet:For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5am on the day I can sleep in

Ant:Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Velvet:Early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch

~~~~~~

Tubbo: 3:23 AM make a wish

Ranboo: I wish that you would go to sleep

Tuddo: Yeah well I wish I grew an inch taller every day as you get an inch shorter until you’re as flat as as a piece of paper and I’m 11 feet tall

Ranboo: You’re going to die of a mixture of skeletal instability and heart disease.

Tubbo: Yeah but I’ll look good while doing it.

~~~~~~

Bad:Disrespect me again and I’ll determine your bodies resonant frequency and play a jaunty horn solo that boils your miserable organs inside out 

~~~~~~

Quackity: If I were dating you?  Well, heh. Let’s just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore

Karl: hey what the honk does this mean…..I’m shaking what does this mean!

~~~~~~

Skeppy: Are you ok?

Bad wrapped in a burrito blanket drinking his 6th cup of coffee: Yes, this is exactly what mental stability looks like

~~~~~~

Sam: My hands are cold

Ponk: *holds their hands*

Ponk: better?

Sam: My lips are cold too

~~~~~~

George at dream’s funeral: can I have a moment alone with them?

Sapnap: of course *leaves*

George leaning over dream’s casket: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.

Dream: yeah no shit

~~~~~~

Skeppy, jokingly: I should have Bad kill you for that.

Bad, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Skeppy: Wh- no, I was just kidding around.

Bad, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you

~~~~~~

Bad *watching the news*: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.

Skeppy *covered in ink*: Maybe the squirt was being a dick.

~~~~~~

Peacock: *spreads feathers at Bad*

Skeppy: It’s trying to attract a mate

Bad, extremely confused: *shyly lifts top*

Skeppy: No!

~~~~~~

Sapnap: Karl, do you eat olives? My dad wants to know

Karl: No, I hate olives. Olives are the spawn of satan. I hate olives so much my mom forced me to live in Mount olive for the rest of my childhood as a curse from the olive gods. Do you understand how much olives have ruined my life? I'm so offended that you asked me that have some consideration for people who have been abused by olives please!

Sapnap: K A R L ……….they’re just olives!!?

Karl: JUST OLIVES EXCUSE!

~~~~~~

Tommy: If you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow in your mind. It’s free and the cops can’t stop you

~~~~~~

Wilbur: is there anyone even named sheldon irl?

Tubbo: my class turtle from 6th grade :)

Wilbur: that’s a turtle

Tubbo: When god sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

~~~~~~

Ranboo: No bcuz why do ppl like salad?? What’s so good about it

Tubbo: chew leaf like god intended

Ranboo: No

Tubbo: Abandon god and see what he does next time you lift your hands in prayer

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Wilbur, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

~~~~~~

Quackity: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

~~~~~~

Puffy: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

Bad: Sex.

Skeppy: Seriously, answer faster.

Bad: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Skeppy: It’s like a giant hug.

Puffy: Ant, what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Ant: Food.

Puffy: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Ant: ……...Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Gumi: What about you Velvet? What would you give up sex or food?

Velvet: Oh… um… I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Gumi: No, you gotta pick one.

Velvet: Um, food… no, sex… no, food…sex… food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want Antfrost on bread!

~~~~~~~

Tommy, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why are you guys acting like this?

Boomer: Oh, we’re not acting. We really are like this.

~~~~~~

Techno: Dream has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re pathetic!

Wilbur: You’re pathetic-er!

Techno: You’re both losers.

~~~~~~

Bad: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Skeppy: Bad, please!

Bad: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

~~~~~~

Tubbo: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for Michal?

Ranboo: They need to learn how to protect us.

~~~~~~

Antfrost: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

~~~~~~

Bad: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Skeppy: Go the fuck to sleep Bad!

Bad: LANGUAGE!!

~~~~~~

Ranboo: Tubbo, please calm down.

Tubbo: I asked for two large fries!

Tubbo: *dumps fries onto table*

Tubbo: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

~~~~~~

Bad: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

Skeppy: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

~~~~~~

Wilbur: When you’ve been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Tommy: Navy blue isn’t your color.

Wilbur: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Tommy*

~~~~~~

Bad: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Puffy: Where did you get that?.

Bad: My pocket.

Puffy: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Bad: Skills.

~~~~~~

Tubbo: I will come to your house after work and knock on your window at 11 AM. You will not open the curtains, knowing full well what awaits you, but the knocking only grows louder, more demanding. Finally it stops, your ears ringing. You nervously let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You're safe now. Minutes pass by and you start to relax. And then you hear a knock at the front door. Like before, you stay still and clutch the blankets around you. You try to tell your self that it's just your imagination. Maybe the milk man? But why would he come so late? Everyone else was asleep, save for Naomi who was playing video games down stairs. To your relief, the knocking stops after a few. Minutes and you breath easy once more. Until you hear a knock on your bedroom door. You don't move. It's just your imagination. She isn't here. She can't be here. You tell yourself, shutting your eyes and willing yourself to sleep. The knock comes again, but with horror you realize that it came from the closet inside your room. You know that you have no choice. You get up, climbing out of bed with shaking limbs. You walk to the closest, trembling, and holding back the tears threatening to spill over your porcelain cheeks. You hesitate with your hand over the closet handle. Maybe it's just your imagination? She's not really there. You can go to sleep and laugh it off in the morning. Your naive thoughts are cut off by another, more demanding knock on the closet door, inches from your face. You know what you have to do. You open the closet door, and there she stands. Chuck e cheese, the mouse looms over you in the dim light. It's soulless eyes boor into you. It raises its arms, and you flinch as it begins to floss at lightning speed. Tears spill over your cheeks. This is the last thing you'll ever see.

Ranboo: Wait, Chuck e cheese’s pronouns are she/her? Trans Chuck e cheese? Good for her.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Would you like something to drink? *They opened the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Quackity: Spiders?

Bad: Spiders it is then.

Quackity: No, that wasn’t-

*But they were already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders…

~~~~~~

Puffy : Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Velvet : Make his dick hard not his life.

Punz : Break her bed not her heart.

Skeppy : Play with his boobs not his feelings. 

Ant : Get on his dick not his nerves.

Bad : Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Tommy: Bet you I can!

Phil: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

~~~~~~~

Ant: We need a way to lure in new customers?

Ponk: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!

Skeppy: Badboyhalo bath water.

Bad: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

~~~~~~~~

Fundy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!

Wilbur: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Mint is just cold spicy.

Pummel party Squad: …

Gumi: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

~~~~~~~~

Quackity: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Phil:

Phil: Why are you eating dirt?

Tommy: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Quackity: You’re too young to have enemies.

Tubbo: You don’t even know.

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Puffy: What’s up your ass this morning!

Bad: *walks in* …Hi!!

Puffy: Hmm… nevermind.

Skeppy: WAIT NO!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Ha! Don’t you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Skeppy: I must be losing it, I’m quoting Bad.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad, I sense hostility.

Bad: Good, because I hate you

~~~~~~~

Bad: Are you a painting?

Skeppy: What-?

Bad: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Skeppy: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG ME OR SOMETHING-

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re giving me a sticker?

Phil: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Tommy: I’m not a preschooler.

Phil: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Tommy: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~~

Dream, sweating: George, there’s something I need to ask you-

George: Finally! You’re proposing!

Dream: How’d you know?

George: Dream, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

George: I even picked it up once

~~~~~~~~

*Bad and Skeppy looking at a locked gate into a park*

Bad: Aw. :(

Skeppy: You know what they say.

Bad: Please don’t-

Skeppy: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Bad: Frick-

~~~~~~~~

let me know if ya’ll want more <3

[nojey]

noise

quackity / alex x gn!reader

genre: fluff, crack

word count: 359

warning(s): cursing

synopsis: quackity with a clumsy, loud significant other

quackity with a loud significant other would be a match made in heaven LMAO

one night you would both be streaming together

in different rooms (same house)

you were playing jackbox with him, niki, george, fundy, sapnap, bad, ranboo, and karl

you guys have just started but you were already laughing your ass off

after quiplash you guys started playing mad verse city 

this was a new game to you so you weren’t getting the most points and rapping definitely wasn’t something you did so going up against gene would hopefully do you justice

things weren’t getting too heated until niki’s rap against your boyfriend

“i got big plans i’m a 5 head”

you hyped her up “YES NIKI YOU TELL HIM!”

“every night i sleep in my bed”

“OKAY”

“i swim in jewels and bathe in pretty”

“YES NIKI, YEAH YOU DO”

“on love or host i hosted skeppy”

“AHH OH MY GOD YES NIKI MARRY ME HOLY SHIT”

after her rap you were jumping in your seat and you somehow fell off

quackity heard the loud bang you made when you fell and ran to the room you were streaming in

“babe oh my god are you okay”

at this point you were laughing your ass off and nodding your head and he started laughing too

your webcam was capturing this whole thing and your chat was blowing up too

you were both laughing so hard that you were pretty sure quackity’s chat could hear you 

he put his hand down for you to grab so he could pull you up but instead you pulled him down to the floor with you and you started laughing harder

you guys stayed on the floor laughing for a bit before you finally got up and spoke into your mic “sorry for being so loud guys, niki just knocked me off my feet” you said laughing

you looked on the floor to see your boyfriend looking directly at you with a straight face which made you start laughing really loudly again

you helped him “i’m sorry, love” still laughing

“yeah, yeah ha ha ha” he said walking out the door

omg i hope you like that T-T it was my first time writing a request so i hope it was good! :)