#king is everything to me hes comedic relief but hes so much more he makes me profoundly sad
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tsubasaclones · 2 years ago
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So like...
My theory is that the bat queen was the titans palisman (she was a palisman of a giant who lived thousands of years ago, I don't really see what else it could be) but she doesn't remember anything about her owner because it's been so long. King is a titan so he's probably gonna live a long ass time too and now I'm thinking about how he very well could forget his family I'm crying real tears about this rn help help
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kevinsdsy · 6 months ago
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THE TROJANS SOCIAL MEDIA AU HEADCANONS pt. 1
laila dermott
laila dermott is muslim!! i've had this headcanon since i read the king's men for the first time in 2019 hehe and now is my time to push it.
nabil & laila are besties. they're both muslim and both in same-sex relationships which leads to them having an understanding of each other like no one else on the team could have with them.
ntm laila fr was his standing pillar when he was figuring out his sexuality
nabil mahmoud
nabil is gay!! which is something he really had to deal with and accept due to him being muslim too (bc what am i without the religious trauma due to sexuality lore)
nabil and tony are dating each other in the socmed au!! even without the au i would like to believe and headcanon there's something happening there :))
i've written a bit more about them in another headcanon post tho.
antonio "tony" jones
tony is what like a year or two older than the rest? he's an assistant and i'm not sure how old they're supposed to be in the book tbh so i would like to think it's possible or he's an intern (i love him being an intern either way tho so i'm very much leaning into that one)
jeremy knox
JEREMY KNOX USED TO PLAY FOOTBALL (soccer), but due to him playing so aggressively and due to him always being guilty of too many fouls he switched to exy :))
cody winter
cody doesn't know what sleep is and they don't care to find out. they're living on like 2 to 4 hours a sleep a night and surprisingly enough it works for them too.
cody is also SUPER competitive which is why they have managed to be part of the captain gc. their competiteviness has led to them pushing the backliners as much as cody can and the backliners actually listen to them too.
shawn anderson
oh shawn. shawn shawn shawn.
you were supposed to be no one. a random guy on the team.
you exist to me now. i feel like i could make a whole post about just him atp.
shawn was supposed to be comedic relief for the posts i felt were too out of character for the rest of the team LMAOO, but now he actually has a personality (to me)
shawn works a part time shop at a café. even though he's surrounded by coffee at all times and drinks so much of it he's the sleepiest guy to ever exist.
like that man gets about 8 hours a sleep every day and still takes nap, but still ends up with bags under his eyes.
he's always tired for some reason and everyone is so used to it atp. like he will ALWAYS sleep on the bus/airplane, no matter how long the drive/flight is.
but when he's finally awake he's so hyper. he says the silliest things. repeats the same phrases over and over again and has about zero filter.
most of the time the zero filter has to do with the fact he speaks before he thinks. it even catches himself off guard sometimes.
i feel like this is too long and we haven't even gotten into jean and shawn dynamic so i'm just gonna cut it off here and they’ll get another part i think
derrick allen
bro we don't even know who derrick is, but apparently he's someone to me now too.
this man has crazy attachment issues, but is also the biggest simp for shawn too.
he likes going around kissing shawn and making out with shawn, but whenever shawn mentions something serious derrick acts like it's just a joke. which i guess is easy to do, because shawn is always treating everything as a joke anyways. except he's really not trying to when it comes to derrick.
jean falls victim to shawn ranting and crying about derrick. so jean respectfully ignores derrick til he gets his shit together.
and i just realised i have SO MUCH to say about derrick and shawn too so let me cut myself off.
derek thompson
same as shawn and derrick. derek is supposed to be a no one, but here i am and suddenly derek is being perceived by me too
SOOO derek was supposed to be like the third party with derrick and shawn. it was supposed to be the three of them flirting and making out and being little shits but then y'all were asking about derrick & shawn and i decided yk what let's do it. then later the short oneshot was written by oomf and derek got mentioned as the one shawn is in love with and i was like oh... i fucked up the dynamic. but in another universe it would've been the three of them ig
ANYWAYYSS derek takes medication. i haven't really decided on what kind of medications, but while thinking about him i always imagined either depression or adhd or both idk
and i have so many more headcanons for the au, but this is too long so i´ll post part 2 another time :))
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thestarminstrel · 5 months ago
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don't very often come into the tag to post my thoughts unprompted, but finished challengers and. eugene.
what did pacat do to him.
i already wasn't expecting great things just based on the preview where eugene, my poor boy, just gave a weak thumbs-up at getting benched. but i had faith and hope as foolish as it was.
like, you're telling me that eugene labao who spent years working to get on the fencing team, every year told his mom "this will be the year", and gave a training camp his all just. gives a forced smile at being booted off the team for state?? what?? if pacat wanted to go with a eugene that cares more about the team than his personal resume, fine. okay. but eugene is allowed to be more upset. he should be. he was given everything he dreamed of by williams saying that they could have two reserves, and now it's gone. i don't care how much a team-player you are, that's devastating. especially as a high school junior (in america and australia i GUESS). if you want to go to college for fencing, i imagine the state competition is a great way to get scouted. also, you miss out on fencing with your teammates for the last or second-to-last time. getting benched as a freshman sucks but you got some more years in your high school career. but eugene's a junior, this is his first year on the team, so now he's fencing state maximum once. that's just a cruel stab in the back by williams, genuinely. he should have been given time to be upset onscreen whether it was privately or with friends.
which then, what the fuck williams. you literally said that you could have two reserves- that you FOUGHT for two reserves- and all the sudden eugene can't compete. i never did high school fencing and maybe things are different in australia, but that seems a little ridiculous to me. like wtf did the higher-ups tell her? "yeah you can have two reserves for one competition but that's it" ???????????????? did pacat have an experience like this or something bc i have no clue how that's a logical train of thought a high school sports organizer can have. i will admit that one could argue she's competitive and wants to win. like sure but then why have a second reserve. could she not decide and was always planning to cut nick or eugene depending on who did better at the camp? what kind of coach is that?? none of the other coaches did that - not even donati and she is neck to neck with williams in this rivalry. it doesn't matter how much she wants king's row to have this gold medal- if williams was intentionally doing any of this, uncaring of whether or not she hurts one of the fencing boys, she should not be a coach actually. period. again, i love early fence williams. but oh my god the way she handled this was so bad.
which then brings me to: what is the point of eugene.
i love eugene, he has been one of my favorite characters since 2020 when i first read volumes 1-3. he is one of the reasons why i get so excited about fence and makes me so happy as a character. but honestly? you could cut eugene out of fence and nothing would change. i know he's not haiden or nichoji, but he was put there for a reason that i think pacat forgot. he never has any signficant screentime unless it's to be comedic relief or be a supporting character to nick, the other "underdog" on the fencing team. i really do hate to say it, but reading challengers really made me wish pacat had written out eugene sooner or not written him at all. he's not treated well as a character, and at this point, i don't understand why eugene is even in this story.
another point i want to make is nick. what the hell is wrong with nick. you're telling me that the same nicholas "zero" cox who was about to give up his scholarship and chance to fence so that eugene, a guy he barely knew at the time, could finally be on the team is the same nicholas who only says "but coach--" when eugene gets kicked off the team? that is a terrible friend. i'm not saying nick should have said "i'm not going to state if eugene isn't!!" but he should have called williams out on it, found eugene later and say "dude i'm so sorry this sucks" -- literally ANYTHING!!! but no, nick bever acknowledges it outside of this panel and is too busy at state apparently to notice eugene being bummed about, you know, not fencing with him. it's so, insane to me that nick became this person that doesn't bother checking in on his bro. that tells me he's more concerned about fencing and seiji - which to each his own but i would drop anyone who did me like that. can't even manage a "how r u doing" text what the actual fuCk. i can not stress enough how much i do not like this nick right now.
in conclusion: i need eugene to have a good cry with his mom or his bros about this bullshit and to eat so much good arroz caldo. please save my son from the narrative, it keeps being mean to him :(((
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sunnysideaeggs · 6 months ago
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hi babes this is my ep 3 review. this is a lil monday tradition i love to yap
lmao rhaenys subtly gagging rhaenyra and calling her out. i’m liking her more and more compared to the first season, she seems more rounded and actually a figure of peace instead of coping
now rhaenyra is coping lol. ‘a little boy murdered in his bed’ ‘but my throonee :((((‘
rhaenyra parentifying rhaena and making her go to her mother’s place of death to safeguard her sons 🙄 not even recognizing the burden she is putting in her. a white woman giving her children to raise to a black girl smh
i like a lot what they’re making with rhaena, giving her actual thoughts that often contradict her ‘side’. go get your hightower husband girl
why no one remembered that larys, yk, the greens’ master of whispers, is lord of harrenhal? like of course it is a green location? where is he? isn’t he a memeber of the council? why does he never attends council meetings?
lmao not daemon wishing to be called king when the proper title is king consort. let me just get a meme:
i just realized that alicent now dresses less ‘richly’ maybe to indicate frugality during war to the people. ‘look, we’re not having feasts while you starve’ kind of vibe. the green queen beloved of the smallfolk
and she is also less structured because she doesn’t need to cover herself for viserys. i enjoy her having the freedom to dress as she likes
as a sansa lover, i must say i love rhaena. go gentle princess with a good who feels everything too much and wears courtesy as a weapon. i love u
if they’re diminishing helaena’s grief and they’re not going to give me helaena taking revenge in dreamfyre istg 🤨🤨🤨
I KNEW THE ARMOR WAS VALYRIAN STEEEEELL 🔥🔥🔥 that’s why it doesn’t fit him it literally isn’t made for him. i hope it’s fireproof
egg promoting his lads 😭 medieval networking
lol larys is the kind of guy that suddenly comes to you with the weirdest true crime facts that leave you feeling icky. i love him
aegon did the alicent disappointed face to his kingsguard. neat party trick
not making baelon cheat on alyssa 🙄 our one successful sibling marriage and they take it from us
tbh if i was dyana you wouldn’t catch a glimpse of me after the meeting with alicent. fuck king’s landing, that stinky city. i would have alicent get me a little house in oldtown. a job as a cook. no chance of any dirty man getting his hands on me. why keep victimizing a character for no reason condal?
any dragonseed should zip it for good, unless you get something for your heritage. my mom was a lyseni whore, that’s what i would say. nobody asks you questions when you say your mom was a lyseni whore
aegon 🙄 i thought we were getting past this. i hope he apologizes, i’m tired of this aemond slander.
i dislike the full frontal scene with aemond. literally gratuitous, no one asked for it. and we know there’s awful people saying shit about ewan’s body, they now get another chance of making fun of his most intimate parts and aemond’s intimate moments. why.
finally some class conscience exploration with criston? are my prayers being answered?
lmao not rhaenyra getting another girl daemon. i dislike baela’s hot head since ever but if it gives me comedic relief i’ll take it
rhaenyra is his father’s daughter. not a compliment
i love how daemon barricades his door just to… open it when he thinks someone wants to get in. and gets out. big forehead not big brain.
MILLY APPEARS YAYYYY 🥰🥰🥰 jaehaerys noooooo 😭😭😭
i could see jae’s actor kinda winking, his little lashes twitching. he’s a baby and he’s doing his best omg 😭💕 it could be the candles tho
yes daemon cry i hate you
imagine you’re a kid and they tell you your job is to be still and have a pretty lady hum at you and touch your cheek. so comforting tbh
ALYS APPARITION YAYYYY 🥰🥰🔥 she’s as stunning and disturbing as i imagined her. devoured. ate him alive. as she should.
lmao of course alicent would think war is to be averted after seeing her grandson without a head 🙄 and if she does she’s dead to me istg
yes rhaenyra threaten a queen 🙄 of course she will react well and think of making peace with you. at gunpoint. classical targaryen.
also she literally smuggled a weapon into a church. threatened to spill blood in a holy place. then ask why people don’t believe you have any morals or respect for anything.
alicent asking her if she’s surrending it’s so funny loool
once again, alicent talks about a child’s murder. rhaenyra brings up the throne. i’m done with her tantrums.
did you betray him at your very last, alicent? don’t you know you owe loyalty to your rapist and jailer, alicent? don’t you know you’re not allowed to want, alicent?
that’s how rhaenyra sounds.
i love how rhaenyra doesn’t spare a thought to surrender yet wants to pretend bloodshed concerns her. lmao.
alicent, i’m back. go green queen.
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qiqi-media · 1 year ago
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besides you disliking chad all your opinions are A1
I've found that while thinking about how to answer this a lot of my opinions on the AKs may seem negative but I think it's because the Vks were the main characters so they didn't give them any thought to be fleshed out. One word I've thought about multiple characters is shallow and I'm realizing it was just the poor writing because they'll justify, humanize and explain horrible actions the Vks did but made the Aks all completely shallow so that's something to keep in mind.
Chad- I don't actually dislike Chad with a burning passion or anything. He was a handsome teenage boy who knew it and used it to his advantage and I don't see him as a villain within in the whole him and Evie thing, her intentions weren't pure either yet, he takes the brute. Then in D2 and 3 I just kind of felt sorry for him because he was used as comedic relief with no real background anymore.
Doug- Overly hated in my opinion, he was a simple guy, people do way too much about him being quote on quote stalker. I don't care about him and I think he's boring but overall he's the character that made me realize that Aks are held to this unreachable standard while Vks are given grace for everything in the fandom. I've seen people call him abusive because he pretended not to wake up after Evie kissed him it's ridiculous.
Jane- Shallow and insecure. My unpopular opinion about her stands, she got off easy compared to Audrey and would've ditched any of her friends for the winning team. In hindsight that's not the worst thing an insecure teenage girl can do, of course she wants to be popular. My problem was Audrey was villainized and isolated and blamed for actions Jane took part in and Jane pretty much felt no remorse on seeing her old friend fade.
Lonnie- Same thing shallow and wished they didn't make her do certain things. She was happy and supportive seeing Audrey get publicly dumped just because Mal fixed her bob. Then when Uma did the same thing ditched Ben who she knew way longer than Mal in favor of Mal just because he brought another girl after Mal broke up with him. Her D2 plot was stupid, she was way more pissed about a school sport than her friend being kidnapped.
Audrey- My second favorite character out of the whole series, she was treated poorly and deserved better. While saying that I can acknowledge all of her wrong doings and how the plot could've been different had she taken a different path in D3 than trying to destroy Auradon. But she was never a villain, she never bullied the Vks and she did her job like she was supposed to and got her life ruined and was kicked while she was down by her own family. I wish she was the main character and we got to see a good story play out for her after being mistreated so.
Ben- my ultimate favorite Descendants character. I like Ben because he's everything I'm not basically. He annoys me as a figure of authority because his kind nature quickly becomes a weakness and makes him look like he has no backbone but he's Ben so I can forgive him. He had potential to be a good King but ultimately he was not a good King to me looking back. His willingness to forgive others, think of others was commendable and he made his mistakes but ultimately when I see Ben I see a respectable person but not king. He would be a friend to rival all others but if anybody advocated for his King status to be postponed or removed I'd be the first to agree.
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secondhandnesting · 1 year ago
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OMEGA HALSIN. Thoughts please
oo okay okay. Preface that I am barely into the game. 23ish hours and I could start Act 2 I think, but I haven't finished everything in Act 1 yet (edit: this has been in my drafts so long that i am now further into the game, almost 90 hours across a couple different playthroughs. I still don't know him as well as I would like) That being said, I don't know much about the characters other than the little I've seen in the game, some of the fanon stuff, and some wiki readings. I've also not fully figured out my general 'verse yet, so it's a little wobbly lol. I'm also trying not to get too into everything, becuase I do want to make an individual post about the dynamics.
For starters, he seems very family-oriented. From everything I've seen, he seems to want a family (even if it's in a non-traditional sense). I usually associate family stuff like that with Alphas and Omegas. Not that Betas can't want a family/be family-oriented, but I think it's usually more associated with the other two. (I will try to make a post on this on it's own at some point)
Okay, so as mentioned in this post ;), Halsin is playful. I see this as more of an Omega trait than anything else. Omegas can/will often act as a sort of court jester/comedic relief sort of role within their pack. They want everyone to get along (or be able to stand each other as well as they can) and be happy. It isn't that Alphas and Betas can't be playful and silly, but the behavior is seen far more in Omegas. One of their ultimate desires in their life is to have connection and a sense of belonging, and self-preservation (bit of a misnomer, as this sp can extend to important things like packmates, nests, etc). Omegas can act as the court jester. Mentioned here, "He must suffer terrible abuse at the hands of the king and court, but he is undeniably loved. Like a jester, the omega is often the one to instigate play and act the fool." Now, I don't necessarily agree with the abuse and mistreatment, but the rest is true. (I go a bit more into the "self-preservation" in this post).
It's also a case of me not really seeing him as the other types? I would say (again I have limited knowledge) that the position of power he has as the archdruid is very much... a performance? As he says (at some point and in better words), he took the job because it needed to be done, and people who seek such a position of power are generally people you should keep an eye on. I can see some Beta in him, but I feel like all the Alpha that's present is simply because it needs to be; he had to step up to the plate, so to speak, and part of that involves Alpha-like duties. In the post I linked most recently (my own post), I mention how I see Omegas as the ones most likely to sort of change roles as needed. I see a lot of people put that on Betas, but I think that generally comes from a "beta is the default/other option" view. Which is fine if that's what people want for their own verses, but I want my betas to be just as much beta as the alphas are alpha and the omegas are omega. Since Omegas (in my eyes) are generally more about "preserving the peace" or, more selfishly, ensuring they have a place to belong, I see them as more likely to do what they deem necessary to keep things together.
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lorensonebraincell · 7 months ago
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D E A D the way i only got through like 1/3 of editing this LMAOOO pls don't fire me pls pls pls 🙏
BUT HEY PSYCHO JOONG MADE IT INTO THE DAY OF LIGHT i still remember when we were bouncing ideas about making the most unhinged yun fic and then an unhinged joong fic and look where we are now BOTH OF THEM DONE AND DUSTED 💅
okay firstly i'm so proud of you for incorporating motifs into your works like RAHHHHH RED YESSSSS it just links everything together so well and makes all the ideas and themes so chefs kiss mwah mwah
also literally like just a few paragraphs in and already the pLOT IS THICKENING and can i just say babes your characterisation (as always) was soooooo good in this like they're unhinged and cray cray yeah but they're not just brainless loopies they legit have reasons and motives and thoughts behind the delulu (us we're just delulu no thoughts 🥰)
and the build up of seXUAL tEnSiON bEtWENE THEM AND THE WANTING AND YEARNING AND LONGING AND THE ✨mind games✨ UGH HITS SO GOOD and the pacing yum yum
trust you to give the comedic relief as well throughout the story like you just cannot go a day without dissing joong :'))) the KiDS' SECTION 💀 and the fact that you chose that part to release as a teaser so that you could pretend this was gonna be a happy go lucky story HA HA HA gottem good 🤩
can i just say reader is so strong bc joong could breathe in my direction and i'd be folding and simping for him fr fr LIKE THE WAY HE CALLS HER princess RAHHHHHH ARF ARF ARF AND HIS RASPY VOICE WHEN YALL DOING THE SEGGS
also wow dirtyumi makes a comeback we haven't seen smut in a hot minute 🙈🙉🙊 goOD GIRL AKSJLFLDSG GOODO FKALDFJSD FGIRLL DLSGJHDSLKH oh and then look at hongjoong simping for reader when she calls him my king damn you really laying on the petnames real thicc 😍
the way you weave so many elements into your plot is always so commendable and big brain like you just cannot be satisfied with a simple plan that leads to a simple problem nah man it's gotta be a thousand different components that all fit together like a puzzle and just wow wow your brain wow
especially when it all starts to slot into place but go down like hongjoong starting to suspect YOU and realise that you're actually so much more dangerous than he thought like HOHOH YES THIS IS JUST THE START OF THE GOOD STUFF >:DDD (good stuff aka hard dom smut apparently HAHAHAHA)
YOOO WAIT WHAT MINGI???? BLUEBIRDDD OMMGSDKGLJ nKJLAG WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT I ACTUALLY DID NOT SEE THAT COMING AT ALL HOLD UP oh my god of course you wouldn't just plant random cameos into the story eye- 👁️👄👁️
and stop. stop it. the ending????? god the emotions????? and the mutual discussion where they ask whether they ever did love each other and the maybes and the wanting to redeem themselves in another lifetime with each other ??????????? HELLO???? AND THE HOLDING THE HANDS EVEN WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET EXECUTED??? like hongjoong sir you ain't convincing anyone yOU'RE IN LAUURRVVV
AND THE MOTIF. THE MOTIF. OMGGG THE MOTIF. THE COLOURS. THE RED AND THE SILVER UGH. YUMI BABES YOU DID SO WELL WITH THE ENDING FOR THIS FIC I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU
YOU SAW SILVER- GLORIOUS AND ABSOLUTE LIKE THE SWORD THAT PAINTED YOU BOTH RED YOU'RE ACTUALLY A POET. THIS IS GOING TO BE ON MY MIND FOR A VERY LONG TIME. DEFS MY FAVE LINE FROM THIS FIC BY FARRRRR
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New World
crownprince!hongjoong x royalphysician!reader
psychopath power hungry prince hj x psychopath delulu spy doctor reader who kill (literally) for each other
dni if you're not comfortable with this trope.
word count: 27k
genres and warnings: unhinged fluff only, angst, smut (mdni!) they're both pyschopaths, morally black atp, skewed thinking, violence and murder warnings, manipulation at its finest, reader is a bit delulu but so is joong, kinda tragic
synopsis: you've always known the crown prince was just a little power hungry, however, when you offer to kill the king for him as part of your big scheme to end the monarchy, you didn't realise he'd be ecstatic about it. while you etch out an elaborate plan to get more obstacles out of the way, you start enjoying his company just a little too much. it ultimately clouds your judgement and becomes the cause of your downfall, though... if you go down, he goes down with you :D
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (just two simps for dom hongjoong what's new)
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Red might just be your favourite colour.
Red was the colour of blood. Red was the colour of anger, desire and power. Red was the colour of the loveliest roses that decorated this castle, and red was the colour of Wonderland’s flag. Red was the colour of the badge that the soldiers wore at all times, as well as the colour of rubies that were your favourite stone and a staple of royal jewellery.
Red was also the colour of royal regalia. And oh, Prince Hongjoong absolutely owned that colour. It looked like red was made for him. Everything he did was red. His actions, his aura, his charms, they exuded red. The way he walked, the way he laughed or smirked, the way his expressions would change in a matter of milliseconds… everything was red. He breathed in that colour and made it his own. 
Red just so happened to be the colour that clear drug now turned into when you added a few drops of the new opium compound you had gotten your hands on when you went shopping in the black market. As the royal physician, you had the privilege of accessing the black market without repercussions, so you got a little of everything that would be considered ‘dangerous’ or ‘illegal’. Your sole duty as the royal physician was to make advances in medicine and make sure the royalty remained healthy.
Though… there wasn’t much left to worry about. The Queen had passed away when you were still an assistant a few years ago. The King, well, he was unfortunate enough to be suffering from a heart condition. You did everything in your power (though that could be argued) to keep his pain and suffering at bay but with each passing day, his health deteriorated even more.
And that left Prince Hongjoong- the young crown prince, loved by some but feared by all. With his striking platinum hair and a permanent glare, he was as cold as he appeared to be. The man only cared about swiftness and rationality in each decision he made, disregarding the suffering of his people and their woes. He claimed that a ruler had to be strict and authoritative for his kingdom to prosper, and his ideology had always conflicted with his father's, which was why the people of Wonderland dreaded the day when the King would pass away and the Crown Prince would take over.
You smiled to yourself as the solution became red, confirming that it worked. You had just mixed a few ingredients to make a new pain reliever. You only needed to test it out now-
And who better to test it on than the dying King? Sure, maybe it was too strong, in which case he would probably succumb to numbness and his breathing might stop. He had one foot in the grave anyway. But if it worked, he would probably grace you with more privileges. It was a win-win situation. 
You didn’t hate the King, no. In fact, he trusted you a lot- maybe a bit more than he should. He had recognised how brilliant a physician and researcher you were early in your career and had appointed you as the royal physician himself. He depended on you a lot, as you did on him, and his fatherly affection sometimes almost made you crack and forget what you really wanted.
What you really wanted was to see the crown prince become the king, even if it was just for a day. You wanted to be the person to make it happen for him. You wanted to be trusted by him and you wanted him to depend on you. You wanted to be the person that would lead him to the crown that was rightfully his. You wanted to fulfil his deepest desire- you wanted him to rule, even if only for a day.
Because then, you would take the final step and free the Kingdom of Wonderland from its last-standing tyrannical ruler.
But the King- the old man. He just wouldn’t die. And that was making the both of you frustrated.
As you poured the new drug in a vial, signing the register to record today’s progress, you put the vial in the first-aid box and took off your apron, hanging it on the knob next to the shelves that lined the walls of your workshop. You straightened your deep green velvet gown and made sure the pearls adorning your neck looked perfect. Tucking some stray hair behind your ears and smirking at your reflection, pleased with the way you looked tonight, you picked up the box and left the medical chamber, walking towards the residential section of the castle where the royalty resided. 
The King hated staying in the infirmary so you had fulfilled his wishes and created a setup in his bedroom. Your assistants looked after him throughout the day and you would drop by multiple times to check on him, hoping to get a sight of the painfully handsome prince. 
Sometimes, you caught the Prince lounging with a book or a smoke, or swirling the wine in his glass. It sparked red in you- red for desire. You weren’t sure if that desire inside you was for him or his position or power- or the desire to simply end him as planned by the Master and move to the next phase of your life- but oh, how you wished he would look at you with something other than contempt in his eyes. You knew he disliked you because you were prolonging his father’s life and preventing him from taking the crown.
You were. You were doing exactly that. You wouldn’t kill the King until he would really look at you. You couldn’t simply tell him that, so you would have to take a risk that could end up with your head in the lunette, ready for execution.
You greeted the royal guards before you knocked on the door of the main chamber and the Prince’s aide, Mingi, opened the door and let you in.
“Good evening, Doctor,” the tall man let you in with a smile and you bowed in greeting before you entered, glancing around the living room for any signs of the prince but finding none. Mingi shut the door behind you and with a nod, you went towards the king’s bedroom, knocking before entering. 
The old man was reading some reports, round glasses perched on the tip of his nose. Even though he looked pale and his eyes looked lifeless, he looked as posh as ever with his greying hair neatly combed back and face freshly shaven. Upon noticing you, he set the reports aside and greeted you with a smile.
“How do you do, Doctor?” He asked and you pulled the stool near him, settling down.
“Just the usual, but I have some good news for you,” you said and when his face lit up, you shook your head. “You must tell me how you’ve been feeling first.”
“Well… I think the pain wasn’t as bad today, but I still can’t seem to walk around too much. I lose my breath too quickly.”
“I might have something for that,” you said. Routinely, he extended his wrist and you checked his pulse, listened to his heart with a stethoscope and checked his eyes. After making sure his vitals were normal, you told him about the new drug.
“It is an opium compound, so I’m not sure how different it will be, but I hope it will get better rather than worse.”
“Can’t get any worse than this,” the King sighed and you almost tsk-ed.
“It can get worse, but I’m here to prevent that,” you assured and the King nodded. “There is a risk factor, though.”
“And like always, I’ll take it,” he agreed, sitting straighter. After administering his routine medicines and skipping the ones that could hinder this new drug’s effect, you made him drink a spoonful of the red liquid. His mouth contorted as the bitterness of the drug spread across his tongue and then he took a deep breath.
“I’ll have the nurses monitoring the effects of this drug tonight, but if anything feels strange, you can have the guards send a message to me.”
“Thank you,” the King said and you bowed, exiting his room and making a turn-
And almost bumping into none other than the Crown Prince.
The Crown Prince Hongjoong, looking regal even in his plain black silk nightwear. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and you bowed in greeting, stepping aside and about to leave when he cleared his throat, making you stop.
“How is the King’s condition?”
You smirked internally before turning to face him. “Not better… not worse either.”
Prince Hongjoong narrowed his eyes and you sighed. “It’s because the drugs won’t work. I’ve administered a new one tonight, and I have hopes.”
What kind of hopes, he didn’t need to know.
“You always say that, yet my father is still bedridden.”
You noted his use of the term ‘father’. He always employed that term carefully, and you weren’t sure if anyone else had noticed that. 
“Well, it’s a bit… risky this time,” you began, testing the waters and when he raised his brow in curiosity, you knew you had him. “He might get worse before he gets better. Or… he may never recover if it doesn’t suit him.”
“Yet you still administered that drug to the King?”
There. He was now ‘the King’.
“The King,” you began, emphasising the word, “took a leap of faith in me and the drug if that means he could get better one day.”
The Prince nodded in understanding, about to go to his room.
“However,” you said in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one was in sight. Hongjoong turned to hear the rest of it, his eyes scanning your face for any signs of concealment. 
You took a few steps forward- tonight, the wheels of your big plan would start to turn. You purposely stepped a little closer than he would have liked and whispered, “I’ll tell you- the King shouldn’t be taking such risks at his age, and with his condition.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Hongjoong asked in a whisper as if what you had shared was a secret.
You only shrugged, feigning innocence. “Who knows? If you really want answers though… maybe you could let me access the private library first.”
With that, you bowed and left, leaving the prince baffled. He opened the door of his father’s bedroom just a fraction and saw his brows furrowed in pain as he rested, the nurse paying no attention and instead more focused on knitting.
Hongjoong went to his room and found himself going over the conversation he had with you over and over again. He couldn’t help but recall previous instances of when you told him- and only him, he had noted- how his father could get worse or better depending on the situation.
Were you actually intending to tell him that you had his health, even his life, in your control? Had he been too oblivious of his royal physician’s actions and words? Had he underestimated you? He knew you were a good doctor- you were a renowned physician throughout the Capital. But were you offering him the controls?
The private library- he wondered what you intended to find there. Maybe he would give you a chance to prove yourself to him. Hongjoong smirked into the night sky, peering down at his kingdom from the height- perhaps, you were the weapon he needed to wield in order to get to the throne.
And if you were… 
Finally, the crown prince started to feel a new surge of hope and desire. Hope for the new world he wanted to create as soon as he could sit on the throne, and desire for that power.
Hongjoong saw red before his eyes as he shut them, letting the light breeze blow through his hair and caress his skin. He wasn’t sure if his grim laughter was echoing inside his head or being carried by the wind for the world to hear.
—------------------------------------
You were starting to wonder if your plan had not worked. 
The past week, you simply checked on the King and kept administering the same new drug that you now called ‘ruby’. It was a bit ironic to call it ruby, you thought. Ruby was Wonderland’s staple stone and what better name for a drug that would end the life of Wonderland's king? It was a shame no one could share the sentiment- when your assistants asked why you called the drug ruby, you simply answered that it was because of the colour.
Prince Hongjoong seemed like he was avoiding you on purpose. Maybe he was not interested in what you had to offer. You were pretty sure he got the message- the King was at your mercy and could be at the Crown Prince’s mercy if he wished so. However, he didn’t acknowledge your presence the few times you crossed paths with him within the week. A small part in your brain said that maybe you had made a mistake and he was being cautious. Maybe you should have never revealed all of that- maybe you had doomed yourself. If he suspected you of foul play, he could have you executed for treason. Maybe the Hongjoong did possess a functioning heart under all those layers of thorns. Yours had long been numb.
But maybe, just maybe, he was weighing his options. Could he trust you, the royal physician, a respectable doctor and medical researcher? Were you planning a trap for him- was it the King’s doing? Did the King suspect that his son really wanted him dead? Did one of his uncles, the Dukes, plant you here as a spy? They were interested in the throne- at least the older one of them, the Duke of Neverland Prince Woobin, was.
And why did you need to access the private library anyway? That was what kept nagging at Hongjoong’s mind. The private library was not attached to the main library but was located in the part of the castle that accommodated the royal residents. The only people allowed to access that library were those of royal blood. It mostly held archives related to court orders and the royal family history. Whatever could a doctor need in there?
With all these thoughts plaguing the prince’s mind, he found himself making way to the medical chamber after dinner accompanied by his aide, Mingi. Mingi asked if he was feeling alright but Hongjoong only said he wanted to ask you a few things regarding his father’s medication and that he was hoping to get something for his own insomnia. That relaxed his aide a bit- Mingi had been by Hongjoong’s side for a solid decade now and while they shared the same opinions on many things, Hongjoong still wasn’t sure if Mingi really agreed with his political views.
Hongjoong dreamt of big things. He was a dreamer and a doer, which he supposed was not an odd combination but a rare one- people usually had to give up one or the other. He, however, was not going to bow to this world- the world was going to bow to him. That was the world he aimed to create where he would be the ruler, where he would allow people to dream within his constraints. To him, there was no such thing as freedom. Freedom was simply a word to fool people into believing that they possessed the right and control over their life. Sure, Hongjoong was a slave to this word too. He dreamed to be free-
Free of the title of crown prince. Free of the title prince. He abhorred that word now- he wanted to be the king. He wanted the freedom to rule. And you- you had just offered him a shortcut, if he was right about this. 
Hongjoong was greeted by a few doctors at the workshop, the three of them moving around nervously and almost tripping on each other as they straightened and asked what brought the Prince all the way to the medical chambers- he could have sent a message. Hongjoong said he simply wanted to observe and check the progress of his doctors. One of them offered to take him to you, to his relief, and he followed the physician to the other end of the workshop which led to the room right next to the storage.
“That’s where the Head Physician usually works- she prefers a corner so she can experiment in peace- and it’s also to avoid involving others in any possible accidents,” the physician said, fiddling with his fingers as Hongjoong nodded. “I- I’ll alert her.”
Hongjoong watched with intrigue as the young physician carefully turned the knob so as to not make a single sound and slipped inside with light footsteps. Hongjoong peeked through the gap and realised you had your back against them. The physician waited for you to set all the equipment in your hands on the table before he cleared his throat and you turned to him.
“The Prince is here to uh, see you- your progress.”
“The Prince,” you breathed, your gaze going towards the door and you thought you spotted the familiar blonde hair. “Where is he?”
“Right outside.”
“Goodness, Jeongin, let him in then, don’t keep him waiting!” your eyes widened as you shooed the physician away and with the few seconds you had, you rubbed the stains on your hands and cleared the table in front of you. 
“Doctor,” his voice sounded, the door clicking behind him as Jeongin gave you both some space. 
“Your Highness,” you curtsied, your heart beating erratically and a bit too loudly- this was the first time you were in private with the Prince, after all. “What brings you here?”
“Just thought I’d check up on you,” the Prince narrowed his eyes as he walked past the counter with various vials of drugs and medicine arranged on them. He stopped near the ruby red liquid that he now recognised as his father’s recent prescription. “Any progress regarding the King’s health?”
“Surprisingly, he’s getting adjusted to the low doses quite well,” you said, noting the tiniest twitch of his facial muscles. “I will start increasing the dose in two days and see how he responds.”
“You mentioned a risk last time,” he raised his brow slightly as he locked eyes with you, seating himself on the very stool you had been sitting on just earlier. The proximity made you restrain a shiver, the cold countertop digging at your back providing a sense of relief in the form of familiarity. “I’d like you to elaborate.”
Got him.
Suppressing a smile, you obeyed. “Usually, I gradually increase the dosage and see how the King’s body reacts. The heart… it is a complicated organ and there are a lot of factors that can influence the working of the drug. Sometimes, the body ‘rejects’ a medicine which means we can’t have the patient take that anymore. The rejection can be due to age or some other factors.”
“And this new drug- ruby, you’re calling it?” Hongjoong asked, gaze darting over where the red vial was. “What’s so special about this?”
“Well,” you took a moment to find the right words to answer. “It’s more of a drug than a medicine, for starters. Addiction might be a side-effect but before that, there’s more to worry about. His body may look like it’s adapting and then all of a sudden, it could reject the drug and his condition could get worse.”
“Will there be any signs to indicate such a thing?” 
“I will answer that…” you leaned forward. “But first, I would like to access the private library.”
“And whatever would a royal physician find useful in the library?” The Prince asked, fiddling with the gold button on his black jacket. “It’s full of cobwebs and dust.”
“And a treasure of useful information,” you quipped.
The Prince gave you a threatening look and you sighed. “Alright, there are two reasons I want to access the library. I can only tell you one- that I want to check the family registers and private journals for any signs that this may be hereditary disease. That information is going to benefit you, and that’s my only purpose.”
“And the other reason?” He frowned, not really caring that you wanted to check for his sake. You supposed as a royal physician, it was your duty and he had nothing to be grateful for.
But your reason was still the same.
“I can’t tell you the other reason, because I’m not sure I’ll find anything about it and I don’t want to give you false hope,” you said and that got his attention. “But… if I do find something… you’re going to have to speed up the preparations for your coronation.”
Realisation dawned on Hongjoong’s face and he instinctively looked around before he stepped off the stool and walked towards you with heavy steps. “Do you hear yourself right now?”
“Loud and clear,” you smirked, taking off the mask because there was no need to show him anything but the truth now. “You want this. You want the throne, and I am your loyal subject. My only reason is to have you sit on the throne instead of one of the King’s brothers.”
Confidential information. How did the royal physician know that the King wanted to delay his son’s coronation and instead pass the hierarchy to one of his two brothers? The conflict between the King and Hongjoong was not news- they didn’t see eye to eye on many things and that was public knowledge. But how did you know all of that? 
Or was it so obvious, Hongjoong wondered, that the King did not want his son to take over the throne so soon? If the whole world was against his coronation, why were you presenting yourself as a loyal subject?
“We’ll talk about this later,” the Prince said in a low voice, pointing his finger at you. It unsettled him to see you stand so sure before him. He opened his mouth to say more but couldn’t find the words.
“I’m just a tool for you to use as you please,” you gently lowered his finger, watching his eyes flicker with surprise. “And I’m only doing this for you. Keep that in mind. Have a good night, Your Highness.”
—-----------------------------------
A tool for him to use as he pleased.
And if you wanted to prove your loyalty so bad, he would use you. He would exhaust your services until you had nothing more to offer. But first, Hongjoong needed to find out just what was so interesting about the family tree that you were tracing your finger along the lines that marked his ancestry. 
While you said nothing about him watching you from a distance like a hawk, when you opened one of the registers and your features twisted from concentration to satisfaction, he craned his neck to read the title. 
“Why are you looking at the death registers?”
“So I can learn how the King can die,” you said, watching the confusion on his face change to intrigue. “And how to avoid it.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game here, sweetheart,” the Prince said. “Are you really doing all of this to save the King?”
“I told you, but since we’re in private, we can talk more freely here,” you set the register on your lap, taking a deep breath. “So ask me whatever you want.”
“How did you know about the King considering one of my uncles to take over?”
“I have a few drugs that I sometimes slip in to make him talk,” you folded your arms. “And he’s quite a talker, your father.”
“How can you, a royal physician,” Hongjoong began, almost fuming at the thought, “abuse your power to make the King talk?”
“And why are you, the Crown Prince, not doing anything despite the knowledge of my medical malpractice? Clearly, you’re interested in what I have to offer.”
“I don’t need your loyalty,” Hongjoong shook his head, his platinum hair catching the moonlight through the patterned window behind him when he moved. “The throne belongs to me. Sooner or later, I will take over.”
“Unless your father announces that he likes the Duke of Neverland too much,” you countered. “Or the Duke of Mist Island. He may be a bit slow but he’s got better manners than you. Clearly you’re the least favourite.”
That was what made the Prince laugh mockingly. Though it was just him recovering from the blow that you delivered, you finally made him laugh and that was enough. 
“So, Miss Doctor,” the Prince said almost tauntingly. “What are your recent findings?”
“You won’t be sending me for execution after, will you?” You asked jokingly, though a small part in your heart was scared that you were absolutely wrong about the Prince. 
“That depends on the information I learn tonight,” he made himself clear. “I cannot have the royal physician murdering the King claiming that it was for the Crown Prince. Not a good look for me.”
You agreed, passing him the family tree and pointing at the death register. “These are the official medical records which are in the main library as well. But these parts-” you pointed at the red ink. “That’s information that was never made public. Abnormalities noticed during the treatment of your grandfather who suffered from the same disease as your father. Notice how opium was used for treatment for a few weeks?”
Hongjoong skimmed through the notes, finding an unnamed opium compound mentioned in the treatment section. “And what’s odd about opium being used as a medicine?”
“That they stopped within a few weeks but administered it again- look at how it’s scratched, but the symptoms I’m observing in your father now are similar to your grandfather’s even after they apparently stopped using this opium compound. I asked around and found out which ingredients were used and attempted to replicate this drug for your father. Ruby.”
“Ah,” Hongjoong nodded in realisation. “But why would they stop mentioning the drug- oh, they wouldn’t.”
The air suddenly felt grim as Hongjoong realised that there was a chance that medical malpractice or perhaps, bad intentions were what took his grandfather’s life. “Who was the royal physician at that time?”
“No longer alive,” you told him. “Otherwise I would have confronted him. I do suspect that he never recorded this because he was afraid he would be blamed for His Majesty’s death. There’s also the possibility that one of his sons had a hand in this, though your father was unfazed when I told him that I was treating him with opium.”
Hongjoong cracked his neck, an amused look on his face. “One of my uncles then, huh?”
“Just pure speculation, but my bet is on the doctor making a mistake and realising too late,” you told him.
“So, Doctor,” Hongjoong got up and walked ever so slowly around the table, coming to stand right in front of you. “What do you intend to do about this?”
“Well, now I know that the symptoms of this drug wreaking havoc on the body mimic natural symptoms of the disease, so even if the King keeps using this and, well, dies… I can blame it on his poor health.”
“What do you get out of crowning me?” The Prince whispered, bringing his hand up to hold you by the jaw and even though his grip was gentle as he tilted your face up, you could feel the power exuding from him anyway. It didn’t help that he looked absolutely ravishing like this and you could feel the flimsy shreds of self control falling apart by each second-
You needed to remember that you were here, that you were the Master’s spy, that you were doing this for the ultimate goal. To save Wonderland. You could not be distracted by something as mere as feelings.
“Would you believe me if I told you that I only want you to be the King?” You asked. “Is it so hard to believe that someone actually wants you to rule Wonderland with all their heart?”
“That makes no sense-”
“I want you,” you tested, a shiver running down your spine when his gaze darkened. “I want you to let me keep my post and let me make advances in medicine. I want you to fund my research and allow me to expand my network- even in the black market. I want you to cover me if I make a mistake and in return… I’ll be at your service, however you want. I will get rid of anyone you want.”
He could hear the sound of his heart thumping wildly between his ears. He could hear your breath and feel a whisper of it on his wrist. He could see the dangerous gleam in your eyes and he knew that you were a force to be reckoned with. How had he missed it? How did you appear so normal throughout all those years? He only ever suspected you of maybe fancying him because quite a few times, he had caught you watching him with something that resembled fascination, but now he was finding that it might be obsession. 
A tool for him to use as he pleased. Someone who would do whatever he wants.
Though you weren’t sure if what you said was just a lie or you actually meant some part of it, it clearly had an effect on the Prince. 
Hongjoong brought his thumb to caress the skin near your lips, watching you react under his touch. It was clear as day to him that you wanted him in more ways than you were letting on, perhaps more than even you yourself were aware of. He swiped his thumb across your lower lip, watching your mouth part and your gaze expectant.
Hongjoong kept his thumb pressed on your lip as he bent down to meet your eyes, his face inches away from yours. You held your breath, your heart doing little flips that made you want to crawl away from him. He stared at you for a few moments.
“You will do as I say, whenever I say, whatever I want. Is that clear?” He ordered and you nodded. “For now, you will keep administering ruby to keep the King alive. We don’t want his health to deteriorate all of a sudden. I want you to learn the King’s intentions- who he really wants to crown and for what reasons. I’ll only hear what comes out of his mouth, not your silly little speculations. Make him talk.”
“Understood… Your Highness.”
Hongjoong nodded slowly, trailing his finger down your chin and tracing the outline of your jaw, trailing it down the angle of your neck and leaving goosebumps along your skin. He locked eyes with you as if to dare you to stop him but you only sat still, though he could swear you bent back just a fraction to allow him better access. He played with the pearls on your neck for a moment, trailing his finger down the middle of your chest until they met your collar, dangerously close to the hollow between your breasts.
With a teasing look and a smirk on his lips, he pressed at that spot before backing away. You took a moment to calm down before you shut the registers and put them back on the shelves, agreeing to meet here the night after tomorrow again. As soon as you were in the darkness and comfort of your room, you slumped down on the bed, exhaling.
You could still feel the ghost of his touch on your skin. You could still feel his eyes boring into you. You could still feel the warmth of his breath caress your face.
And while you were overwhelmed with desire, there were more important matters at hand-
Finding out what the King wanted. You would make him talk and deliver the information to the Prince to prove your loyalty and service to him.
You could only hope he would really look at you and believe what you told him. That was necessary for your plan to actually work. You hoped he would think that all you wanted was to excel as a royal physician and medical researcher. You hoped he would understand that only he possessed the power to make that happen. And when he would let his guard down, that would be when you would strike. 
You picked the mattress to move one of the bed planks, revealing a box that contained paper and ink. Using the clear ink on the sandy paper with a bluebird on the corner, you began to write the first message after months of silence.
“The arrow has escaped the bow and is flying towards the target, slowly but surely. The wielder should start preparing for the aftermath.”
—------------------------------------
“How are you feeling, Your Majesty?” You asked, hand around his wrist to check his pulse, noting down the readings as he shuffled.
“Fine for the most part, but I feel lightheaded at times.”
“No changes in his diet?” You asked the nurse assigned to the King and she shook her head no. “Must be the drug then. Is it bearable?”
“For now,” the King confirmed, his eyes darting towards where his son stood at the corner of the room with his arms folded and a deadpan stare. The King shifted uncomfortably yet again and you shot a glare at the Prince which he caught, huffing and looking elsewhere. “Does he have to be present here?”
“Does he make you uncomfortable?” You asked nonchalantly, comparing your readings with the last few days and noticing a pattern. “He’s worried about your health.”
The King grunted. “As if.”
“More worried than your brothers you adore so much,” the Prince mocked. “I don’t see them inquiring about your health. At all.”
“Aren’t you just waiting to hear bad news?” The King asked and when Hongjoong was about to retort, you raised your hand in the air.
“I would appreciate it if you don’t rile him up, Prince Hongjoong,” you said politely. “Your Majesty, you should avoid stressing about your health so much. Have you been taking your morning walks?”
The nurse cleared her throat and you looked at her. “He’s missed two days in a row.”
You turned to look at the King who appeared guilty. “I’m feeling sluggish lately. It’s harder to get up in the morning.”
You noted that- could this be ruby’s doing? Shutting your register, you got up and talked to the nurse while the father and son argued a bit more about the Prince’s unusual presence and the King’s unusual love for his brothers. When you took your leave, the Prince accompanied you all the way to the main door and just when you were about to leave, he looked around to make sure no one was within earshot.
“I thought I asked you to keep the King healthy-”
You clicked your tongue and grabbed his wrist to pull him to your right so the nurse who just exited the King’s room wouldn’t notice the look on the Prince’s face. “Can you be more obvious? We shouldn’t be talking about this here- and it’s not my doing, by the way.”
The Prince looked at you with scepticism and before he could snatch his wrist from your grip, you let go of it yourself. You could see the muscles in his jaw clenching as he formed a response. 
“We’ll talk about this later,” the Prince promised almost threateningly and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “Tonight. Library. Mingi will accompany you.”
You huffed in response, glancing at his aide who came to inspect what the noise was about. Bowing mockingly, you exited the chamber and made way towards your room near the medical chamber. 
You were about to make a turn to the left when you bumped into a guard who was carrying some documents and you apologised, squatting down to pick up the pages that he dropped. While collecting them and exchanging more apologies, you thought you spotted a familiar stamp but the guard was immediately on his way after thanking you. You took only two steps before you realised-
It was the bluebird stamp.
You kept walking, the Master’s bitter tone ringing in your ears reminding you to keep moving forwards and remain unfazed. It took a lot of effort to keep a straight face because after months of radio silence, you finally saw a sign that the bluebirds were here. They were in the castle and they had not abandoned you.
However, when you picked your mattress to take out the box and saw a letter inside, the contents of the letter made sweat ooze out of your pores even when you felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on you. You were once again reminded that the bluebirds were a very extensive network with eyes and ears everywhere.
But how did they know what happened inside the private library? You and Hongjoong were the only ones present. The short message in the letter seemed to suggest as if they had taken a peek inside your heart at your most vulnerable moment.
“Do not lose sight of the real target. Do not get distracted. Pleasure is temporary. Freedom can be eternal.”
The two hours that you waited for the Prince’s aide to knock on the door had to be the longest of your life. You simply sat on the chair biting your nails unceremoniously as you tried to figure out just who in the castle or the Prince’s closest companions could be the part of the rebel group that was the core of your identity.
The bluebirds, trained by one Master whose face had always been hidden behind a mask, whose voice was a command itself. Your parents were a part of that group, but you could hardly call them parents because as soon as you were able to walk on your own and think without guidance, your training started. You learned the art of disguise, trickery and manipulation. You learned science and medicine until you started achieving things on your own. You were no one special, though. You were just another spy who was in the castle, disguised as someone of importance. Any doubts about you being alone in the castle were gone now. 
You were wondering if the Prince was aware of the existence of your group- it was a secret underground rebel group but it had been active for decades now. The bluebirds were slowly but surely infiltrating the government bodies and were directly or indirectly responsible for some of the major policies that influenced the kingdom. 
When the knock sounded on the door, you sighed in relief and got up to open the door to Mingi and you greeted him with a nod, grabbing your keys and locking the room behind you. He accompanied you to the royal chamber in silence until you were almost there and he cleared his throat. 
“Is there a reason you have to access the private library so often?”
You narrowed your eyes purposely as he glanced at you. “Ask your prince? He doesn’t have to be present- I’m just looking for something that can help me with the King’s treatment.”
“Are you sure you’ll find that there?” He asked, taking a turn towards the corridor that led to the library. “I mean… have you looked in the main library?”
“Yes, and yes,” you said. “I’ve gone through everything before asking the Prince for permission to access the private library.”
“If you’re looking for medical related stuff, you should look for the archives in the public library here in the Capital too,” Mingi suggested and you perked up at that. “Anything of importance that is no longer in the castle can be found there.”
“If it is of importance, why would it be no longer in the castle?” You wondered.
“Rebels used to raid libraries about twenty years ago, if you remember your history,” Mingi answered. “Whatever was recovered went to the public library instead of back here.”
Now that was something you had not been aware of. If important archives and documents had been stolen, why were they at the public library instead of at the castle? And more importantly, was it the bluebirds that carried out these attacks? If it was the bluebirds, why had no one told you? You could have visited the public library with ease any time.
“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll make sure to visit the public library the next time I step out of the castle.”
Mingi smiled in response and extracted a key out of his pocket, unlocking the wooden carved door that opened to the library. “The Prince is inside. I’ll be on my way then.”
You nodded and stepped inside the dark room, letting the aide shut the door behind him as he left. You walked towards the window which was the only source of light- did the Prince not bother lighting any candles while he was inside-
There was a sole candle on the table where you had sat a few nights ago with Hongjoong when you checked the family tree. Hongjoong was nowhere to be found though, so you started walking past the shelves, looking to spot the man-
And trying your hardest to swallow a scream when he appeared out of nowhere, though he was quick to grab your arms to avoid a collision.
“Easy there,” he said, sounding amused. Probably because you were positive all the colour left your face. 
Well, if it had, it sure returned with a flush when you noticed how close you were to the Prince and how human he looked in the moonlight now that he wasn’t wearing his permanent scowl and his hair wasn’t styled to perfection. The tendrils falling on his forehead over his eyes created a soft look. It wasn’t always that the Prince looked anything less than menacing so you got a good look at him before wriggling away.
“Sorry, but you could have lit a few more candles. It’s pretty dark here.”
“We avoid candles. Don’t want to risk a fire, which is why it’s usually optimal to access this room when the sun is out.”
“Can’t go around scheming during the day though, can we?” You said casually though the comment made the Prince chuckle darkly. It looked like he was finally coming to terms with you- and himself. 
“Doesn’t seem like the daytime would be a hindrance for you,” the Prince put his hands in the pockets of the black slacks he was wearing. “Did you switch the drug? Why is the King feeling off?”
“I need to research a bit more to answer that,” you folded your arms. “I don’t control the way his body reacts to the drug. If it seems like ruby will deteriorate his health at a rapid pace, I might have to stop administering that drug to him.”
“Lower the dose then,” he ordered. “Or do you have a better alternative?”
“A better alternative to what?” You dared to ask, earning an annoyed look. “Do you want the King alive and healthy for as long as possible?”
Hongjoong cocked his head- did you really want to hear it from his mouth?
“Or… do you want his health to decline such that it would seem natural?” You scoffed at the way he glared at you. “Surely, you must have made up your mind by now.”
“I asked you to keep the King healthy,” he practically spat. “And I asked you to make him talk.”
“I think he dislikes your presence a little too much, Prince,” you snickered. “I actually slipped a few drops of verita tonight. A harmless little thing, only makes you a bit hazy so that you start saying things you wouldn’t otherwise. And oh, the only thing he had to say was that you’re just waiting for him to die.”
“Yeah, well, that is the sad truth,” he said mockingly, glancing towards the window. “He won’t talk in front of me. I suspected that.”
“Looks like you’re stuck with me then,” you said, moving past him to go to the last shelf which contained the rest of the medical records of the royal family that you hadn’t had the chance to access yet. “I do think he’s aware that he doesn’t have much time. Isn’t the Duke of Neverland visiting soon?”
“Next week, yes. Bet he’ll be over the clouds to see my father dying especially when he learns that he’s in his good graces.”
“Well… that’s how I’m here to help,” you glanced at him. “I was thinking… your father was the crown prince, which means he probably didn’t visit your grandfather much when he was ill. He must have been too busy trying to keep the kingdom stable and running.”
“That’s right,” Hongjoong agreed. “I recall my grandfather complaining how he never made time for him.”
“And it’s a known fact that the Duke of Neverland tried to snatch the title of crown prince. Tried to coerce his father. Didn’t work, did it?”
“He was let off with a warning, and now he’s after me.”
“He must have visited your grandfather a lot then,” you brought the medical register that you had checked a few nights ago back to the table. “The royal physician who treated your grandfather is no longer alive, but the Duke of Neverland must know something about the treatment. You have to keep an eye on him and watch his reaction carefully when it is revealed that ruby is being used to treat the King.”
Hongjoong frowned. “Do you suspect that he had something to do with it?”
“I do,” you admitted. “Especially because he’s been coveting your title. He might have meddled with the late King’s treatment- it’s just an assumption for now, but it is strange how the late King suddenly passed away.”
The Prince nodded slowly and you could see that he was trying to connect the dots. You cleared your throat, catching his attention.
“I also plan to visit the public library in the city soon. Your aide Mingi told me that I may find something of importance there.”
Hongjoong wasn’t surprised to hear that so you figured they must have discussed something. “He’ll accompany you on that visit.”
“Alright,” you said, getting up to find more books and records on the royal bloodline’s medical history. 
Time passed by quickly even though you found little to nothing of interest, but it looked like the seed of doubt had been planted because the Prince seemed to be deep in thought as he kept glancing at the page you had pointed to- the word ‘opium’ scratched over and over as if someone had tried to erase the evidence of it. You smiled to yourself- the plan seemed to be working.
Though you kept one eye on the Prince, you became distracted by a book on alchemy that seemed to be annotated by the royal physician during the time of the King’s grandfather. You flipped through the pages, mouth parted in surprise and awe at the dedication and effort of the royal physician- he seemed to have created the blueprint for most of the drugs that were now commonly supplied throughout Wonderland, and that was a remarkable feat.
You almost didn’t hear the Prince until he was right behind you and you jumped a little when he rested a hand on your shoulder to let him take a peek at what you were reading. When he noticed the surprise on your face, he smirked.
“What’s got you so busy and immersed that you didn’t notice my presence?”
“Sorry, uh,” you collected yourself, sliding away just a fraction but he seemed to have caught that- he caught everything. “Notes from the royal physician during your great grandfather’s time. He’s a figure we doctors look up to a lot.”
Hongjoong flipped through the pages, book still in your hand. “Have you always wanted to become a doctor?”
A question so simple yet you had never been asked before. Your brows rose momentarily as you processed the question, trying not to lose yourself in the spiral of what the real answer was- that no. You never wanted to become a doctor. It was just something you taught yourself to love- or something you pretend to love so you don’t forget why you’re here-
“Is it such a difficult question to answer?” He shrugged, taking the book from you so you would have no choice but to focus on him.
“I guess I just learned to love it when I found myself in this field,” you said. Probably the first honest thing you had shared with the Prince. “Have you always wanted to be the crown prince?”
Hongjoong laughed at that, caught by surprise at your sudden question and you found yourself joining- you had never heard the Crown Prince laugh like that- like a kid, unguarded. The Prince seemed to realise that too, though that didn’t stop him. You supposed that since it was only the two of you within the privacy of these four walls, he felt more at ease. And though the rational part in you told you that it was good that he was letting his guard down, your heart ached for some reason.
“I guess I learned to love it too?” He shrugged. “At some point, it becomes something you have to do rather than something you want to do.”
You nodded- you knew that all too well. “You’re doing this for the kingdom.”
“For the people,” he said. “The King hasn’t been making the best decisions regarding the kingdom ever since he got sick. The people- I know they aren’t fond of me, but they do not know how to run this kingdom. They think resuming trade with the bordering nations like the King plans to will help stabilise our economy.”
“I mean… a common man would think that you would save a lot from land routes instead of the sea routes.”
“But the common man is not aware that the King plans to impose more taxes and tariffs on his people,” Hongjoong told you as if letting you in on a secret- it was, except you were already aware. “And I think even if they find out, they will overlook that. In the long run, it will only create more problems and smuggling will become rampant. We barely managed to control that when we were recovering from the late King’s death.”
“But do you really care about the people?” You dared to question, relaxing when Hongjoong only passed you an amused look. “Or is it just because you want to prove something to your father and uncles?”
“Can’t it be a little bit of both?” He leaned against the shelf. “The people…” Hongjoong shook his head. “They say it’s only the people who suffer from the decisions we make. Is that really true though? Because I think they’re living a pretty pleasant life without worrying about making decisions of such magnitudes.”
“I guess the royal class suffers in their own way,” you scoffed. “Insomnia.”
“Insomnia can’t be classified as suffering anymore. It’s more of a bonus.”
You smiled at that- that was true. There wasn’t a royal who didn’t suffer from lack of sleep- or lack of good sleep. “Is there something that helps you sleep better at night? Apart from the prescriptions?”
“Overworking,” Hongjoong spread his arms to prove what he was doing right now instead of resting. “And… well. Other activities.”
“Such as?”
“Oh, wouldn’t you love to hear about that,” Hongjoong smiled suggestively and you were lost for a second before you almost choked, looking away to keep the flush creeping on your cheeks at bay. “Want to help me with that? Be my personal nurse?”
“Shut up,” you muttered, snatching the book from him and putting it back on the shelf, his dark chuckle echoing inside you. He leaned forward right at the moment that you were turning in his direction, the both of you surprised when you found your faces inches away from each other- you could almost see the flecks of brown in his dark orbs even in the faint moonlight.
Almost hastily, you took one step back at the same moment that he leaned forward, his eyes locked with yours. You raised a brow, the atmosphere heavy with unspoken words. The air was thick with tension, taking the form of something almost electric and tangible- you were sure if you mimicked his movements and leaned forward, you would combust.
The Prince slipped his tongue between his teeth in contemplation and your gaze fell there- a mistake, because you were so, so tempted to get a taste of those plush lips. If it wasn’t obvious to Hongjoong, you were curling in on yourself with each passing second as your heart and mind clashed with one another violently inside of you-
“Didn’t peg you as the shy type,” the Prince commented, barely a whisper.
“I’m not shy,” you retorted. “I’m just trying to find an answer as to why you keep crowding my personal space.”
“Ah, is that how it is now?” Hongjoong tsk-ed in disappointment, standing straight now. “Thought you liked it when I did that.”
You did. You couldn’t tell him that not because he couldn’t know, but because you were sure he would do something about it and that couldn’t end well for you.
“Looks like you’ll be up all night tonight then,” you scoffed, making the Prince laugh again. “I’ll be taking my leave now. Unlike you, I’m not a royal so I cannot sleep in or ditch my duties. Goodnight, Prince.”
Hongjoong only shook his head in amusement as he watched your figure disappear. The smile fell when you left and he went back to sit on the sofa, watching the moon from the window.
He was pretty sure you had an ulterior motive under the pretence that you were unquestionably loyal to him. There was no such thing as loyalty- a person was faithful as long as they were satisfied. Hongjoong knew that very well, so he wondered just what you were going to get out of killing the King and crowning him. It didn’t look like you wanted to sit on the throne with him, but he didn’t dismiss the possibility- you could simply just be very good at hiding your feelings.
But then… a smirk started creeping on Hongjoong’s lips as he recalled the way he got you flustered. It wasn’t his presence that got you all tense- it was when he flirted, that was clear to him now. However, you were putting up quite a fight-
And Hongjoong wasn’t one to back away from a fight. Plus… he really wanted to shut you up once. 
And if getting in your good graces- if it could be called that- would get him some answers then he was going to make this enjoyable. 
He just had to keep his guard up. And that wasn’t so hard, was it?
—--------------------------
It was becoming harder with each passing day to keep your guard up when you were with the Prince.
He was just as stubborn and hot-headed as ever, which was already something you had to deal with. He was especially jumpy since the Duke of Neverland seemed to have been attacked by a ‘rebel group’ on his way to the castle and had delayed his trip by a few days. The King was worrying too much about his brother and that annoyed the Crown Prince to bits. His frustration was obvious and everyone around him was having to deal with the aftermath. 
And because he was so frustrated, he couldn’t sleep which meant that whenever you met up in the private library- not to read anymore but to talk and plan- he acted… different. You wondered if it was the lack of sleep that was making him lightheaded and outright flirtatious but it seemed to be just… Hongjoong being Hongjoong. And you weren’t sure how long you could keep joking around like this- turning him down by joking was what you had been doing actually.
It was the little things- he would sit in front of you only to overwhelm you with his stare, his eyes scanning you in a different manner than usual. He would purposely play with the edge of your skirt or if he was feeling a little daring, with your fingers while you chatted about medical history or politics. You tried your best to ignore it, especially since there was an obvious reason that you could not involve yourself with the Prince. 
But with each passing day and each passing moment spent by the Prince’s side, you were wondering if it would be too bad to have just a little fun while you carried out your plan. And if you looked at the bigger picture, it could help you carry out your plan and perhaps benefit you in ways you hadn’t ever considered before.
It would also be a slap on the Master’s face. The Master who had overseen your training and told you that all you were was just a piece in the puzzle he was playing. In your whole life, even at the castle, whenever you were about to make a decision of your own, he would send a sign and hold your invisible reins back- just like when you saw one of the guards with the bluebird stamp. It was always a warning that came out of the Master’s mouth and never a word of encouragement or affirmation that you were on the right path and that your efforts were commendable.
You had dedicated your whole life to the cause of the bluebirds- to end the monarchy, once and for all. It had been attempted in the past but never successfully, and you supposed it was because the previous rulers had been wise enough to dismiss internal conflict so they could focus on the external threats from the bluebirds. However, after decades, there was finally enough internal conflict to narrow the royals’ visions. They would not see it coming. There were many key players in this plan, in the light and in the shadows- but you were aware that you were the wild card of this game.
And if you succeeded, which you were bound to from the looks of it so far, the monarchy would end- there would be no one of royal blood left to rule, and before someone else could take over, the other players would make sure that the system of monarchy would collapse and democracy would be established. Once that was done, the people would finally have a taste of true freedom. It was going to be a very tragic end for the royal bloodline, and if you were going to play a part in it…
Would it be too wrong to have some fun and have him think that you actually liked him? Though if you started pondering on the matter, you didn’t have an answer- you were confused. But it was becoming harder to reject his subtle advances and you weren’t sure how long you could hold your fort, so why not let him think he had the upper hand?
“You’re staring, sweetheart.”
It didn’t help when he called you sweetheart or kitten or something equally stupid (and something that strangely tugged at your heartstrings). You quite liked hearing such terms from his mouth and you wanted to hear him say a lot more-
“Drooling, now.”
“There’s just a strange insect near your ear-”
The terrified face the Prince made as he swatted wildly near both his ears made you choke down your laugh but when he finally realised you were joking, you laughed wholeheartedly, clapping your hands in disbelief while Hongjoong recovered from the surprise and embarrassment.
“Do you have a death wish?” He growled, shaking his head and you wiped the tears in your eyes, noticing that he was almost smiling now.
“Do you have a death wish?” You countered. “I wasn’t staring, neither was I drooling. I just… zoned out.”
“You were staring,” he insisted. “But I don’t blame you. I’m quite a sight for sore eyes, am I not?”
“Totally,” you muttered, not daring to fuel him further lest he figure you out. You set the vials in your hands aside, getting up to grab the washcloth and clean the counter. “If you’re going to make my lab your lounge, I must let you know that I’m not responsible if I ‘accidentally’ spill a chemical on you.”
“Yeah, this might not be the best place to get comfortable,” he sent you a suggestive look. “There are tons of abandoned rooms in the castle.”
“And you want me to give you company?” you wiped at a stubborn blue mark on the counter near the Prince’s hand. “Because we haven’t been doing anything, just coexisting in the same space. Sounds like someone has been lonely.”
When he didn’t respond, you glanced at him to find his expressions guarded. It strangely reminded you of yourself and you continued. “It’s alright. I’m not one to say, though I must admit I thought you had more people who you met eye to eye with.”
“Well, you’re the only one who knows my wicked intentions,” he scoffed. “I might have to get rid of you for that.”
“No wonder you have no friends,” you made a face, taking off your apron and going to wash your hands in the sink. “I thought you appreciated that I was willing to kill for you.”
“You know, I really don’t get it,” Hongjoong got up, walking towards the other counter where you were drying your hands. “You sound like you’ve killed people. Or you think too highly of yourself.”
“Well… we both have blood on our hands, whether we’ve killed or not,” you said and he realised that was true. “A lot of people have died by my hands, just like they have by yours.”
Hongjoong didn’t need to know that you had actually poisoned and killed whoever came close to discovering the identity of the bluebirds. He would only assume you meant that about your sick patients, and that was fine.
“Does it keep you up at night?” He asked teasingly.
“Not really,” you grinned. “It’s not what keeps you up either.”
Hongjoong shook his head in disbelief and wonder, his hand going to your face almost naturally to tuck the stray hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to sound so happy about it, princess, just because you don’t have to pretend to be sad about it in front of me.”
Princess. 
How could he so casually call you princess and invoke such a powerful desire in you to be the owner of that title? To have the Prince repeatedly call you that? 
“Do you go around calling anyone princess?” You asked, sounding out of breath and Hongjoong raised his brow- he didn’t realise that it would have such an effect on you, but then again-
He had never called anyone princess, not even jokingly.
“Do you like that?” He asked, his thumb caressing your cheek as his hand cupped your face. “Do you like being called princess?”
“It’s you who said it, Prince.” you answered.
Hongjoong cocked his head in thought- were you after the title then, or had you simply never been called something affectionate? Because he did notice how you reacted every time he called you something as simple as sweetheart, or love- even when it was derogatory. He wished he could peek inside your mind and see what you were thinking-
He saw how your gaze darkened when you gently grabbed his wrist to draw his hand away from his face just a fraction, only to peck his palm- your lips felt like the brush of a feather against his skin but that only fueled his selfish desire to get a taste of them for himself.
“Do not ever call me a princess again,” you warned in a low voice, surprising him. “Do not call me anything that you don’t mean. I’ll take my leave first. Goodnight, Your Highness.”
Before you could fully turn away from him, he caught your wrist and tugged you towards him, making your body collide with his lightly. The two of you were now flush against each other, your joined hands in the air as he scanned your face, the desire in your eyes so obvious that it was palpable. 
And he was pretty sure he was very obvious too- he just couldn’t help it. He was beyond confused and it irked him to no end and he needed to find the answer. He was sure you were his answer-
You shook your head as if that could help your situation but you gave up and rested your forehead against his shoulder, feeling his body stiffen for just a second before he relaxed. He let go of your wrist only to place his hands on the curve of your hips while you fisted the material of his shirt in your hands-
Oh, you wanted to have a little fun? This was it, and it scared you to no end. You only took a few moments to inhale and memorise the musky notes of his scent before you drew back and made way to the exit without meeting eyes with him.
You couldn’t face him when you weren’t sure if you just wanted to play with him, use him or be with him.
—----------------------------
“If that black fake dye wasn’t obvious, your jumpiness is giving you away,” you commented when you spotted Hongjoong casting a wary glance at the poor teen who happened to cross your path. “You can take off the cloak. It’s just a library.”
“If anyone recognises me here, it could get dangerous,” he muttered.
“It’s literally the library, relax,” you said, looking at Mingi for help but he seemed to be enjoying your bickering and raised his hands in surrender. “You’re making it harder for me to concentrate. Mingi, can you accompany the Prince to the kids’ section please?”
“Don’t call me the Prince here- hey!” Hongjoong scowled, making Mingi stifle another snicker. “I’m not bothering you, okay? Read what you have to, I’m just standing here.”
“I mean… you are making it a bit obvious,” Mingi started but shut up when the Prince shot him a dirty look. “Alright, let’s give the doctor some space so we can save some time. We don’t have to go to the kids’ section.”
You groaned in relief, silently thanking Mingi who was originally going to be your only companion on this trip to the library. It looked like the Prince’s aide had gotten used to whatever was going on with you two, or simply didn’t care enough to question it. Perhaps he didn’t dare to, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. But you still had no idea why the Prince was here- did he have so much free time or was he shirking his duties? Why did the Prince’s aide not tell him this was a bad idea?
Whatever it was, you took your sweet time exploring everything on the royals- not just the medical related knowledge you were here for, but political history and uprisings, specifically. You were aware that things could take a very wrong turn and you wanted to be prepared for everything. You didn’t want to be limited only by the knowledge the Master had allowed you to gain. 
So when about two hours later you went to find Hongjoong and Mingi, you almost panicked when you couldn’t spot them anywhere- but while frantically searching for them you heard low, oddly familiar giggles. You narrowed your eyes as you took two turns to find the Prince and his aide sitting on the floor side by side, pointing at crude images in the comic books-
In the kids’ section.
You cleared your throat, but they only spared you a glance, snickering at something funny they read but remaining unmoving. 
“Your Royal Highness,” you sighed. “It’s getting dark. We should go back to the castle.”
“Let me just finish this chapter,” Hongjoong wiped a fake tear from his eye while Mingi doubled over with laughter over something he read. You folded your arms, looking at them in utter disbelief.
This was the Prince you were supposed to put on the throne? This was the man the Master wanted you to kill?
You smiled to yourself at the sight of the two- you weren’t sure the Prince would get to have such carefree moments in the future, so you let them take their time, making a mental note of whatever they were reading. When they finished the chapter, they got up and got back to being the stuck-up Prince and guarded aide duo, steering you towards the exit and into the carriage to go back to the castle.
The ride was mostly silent, all of you sorting your thoughts out. You agreed to meet up later tonight at one of the abandoned rooms that had become your rendezvous point now. For now, the Prince sneaked back to his room through one of the secret routes so no one would question why he was out looking like that with the royal physician, of all the people.
You were glad that you were busy for the rest of the evening with lab work and assisting the other doctors in the infirmary. You went to the royal chamber later at night for the routine checkup on the King, administering the lower ruby dose mixed with a little verita this time. There were some answers you needed, so you dismissed the nurse, saying she could take a breather while you talked to the King.
“Hongjoong has been diligent lately. It’s strange,” the King found himself pondering out loud.
“Has he not always been diligent?” You asked- the Prince was known to be too hardworking.
“It’s like he almost means it now,” the King admitted. “It makes me rethink if I’ve been too harsh on him.”
“Or maybe he’s just preparing to take over more of your duties,” you carefully threw in the suggestion. “You haven’t been attending some of the meetings.”
“Could be,” he laughed, though it didn’t sound happy. “Woobin is arriving next week- he could be preparing himself. They’re always clashing with each other whenever they’re in the same room.”
“Hmm… about that,” you began, knowing that the verita was working now. “What do you think about the attack on His Highness Woobin?”
“What is there to think?” The old man frowned. “The Duke of Neverland has enemies just like all of us.”
“I was just wondering if you should look into which rebel group specifically planned the attack. It could be that insiders shared information and his travel route.”
The King thought for a moment, scratching the grey stubble on his face in thought. “You’re right. It’s either his men or one of ours.”
“You know, I went to the city today,” you told him while rubbing the pressure points on his hand. “And I heard rumours- people are speculating the Prince might have had a hand in the Duke’s attack. It’s not a secret that you favour the Duke and might pass the hierarchy to him- the public does prefer your brother over your son.”
“Ah…” the old man frowned in thought. “Could this be the case?”
“They’re only rumours,” you shrugged. “Nothing to worry about, really.”
But you had planted the seeds of worry and doubt in the King, strengthening his likening for the Duke. Once he would confront Hongjoong and demand answers or a confession to something he didn’t do, the Prince’s hatred for his father and uncles would amplify.
And when that would happen, you would be there for the Prince. You would act as his sword when he would demand it, and shield him when he would need it. You would do all of that before turning at him.
But for now… 
“He really thinks I’m not performing my duties properly?”
“You don’t have to sound so hurt- it’s not like he knows how hard you work,” you consoled the Prince. “He would think you’re neglecting your duties but he’s coped up in his room all day. He’s just being bitter.”
Hongjoong folded his arms and you shook your head at the way he was sulking, his frown deepening with each passing second. “He’s never going to acknowledge me.”
“You don’t have to get acknowledged by him. You’re the rightful owner of the crown. Neither the King nor his brothers should try to take that away from you.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes I’m tempted to give up too,” he confessed and your eyes widened in surprise. He looked away from you, the faint hues of the candlelight casting shadows at the cuts and creases of his face. “I’m driving myself to do something for this kingdom only to be remembered as a tyrant in the history books you love reading so much.”
Even though he had pretended not to care about having such a reputation for the rest of his life, you were a bit thrown off to learn that it was a genuine concern he harboured in his heart. Once again, you found yourself blurring the lines of what was supposed to be the boundary between your facade and the feelings in the deepest recesses of your heart. 
“You don’t have to look at me like that,” he chuckled darkly. “I don’t know why I’m even saying this in the first place.”
“It’s okay to share,” you urged. “No judgement here.”
“Yeah, I might be a bit too honest in your presence,” he laughed, shaking his head. “You know, while we were at the library and Mingi and I were reading those stupid books-”
“You loved those stupid books-”
“Not the point, but I realised something,” Hongjoong sent you a warning glare to not interrupt him again and you sat straighter, crossing your legs that were dangling from the edge of the bed. “I realised that I rarely ever had moments where I was just… Hongjoong. Not the prince, not the crown prince.”
“Just Hongjoong looked a bit silly, I’ll admit.”
Hongjoong only smiled at that. You decided to do something about this- you did not like him seeing so quiet and sentimental. 
“Even the greatest of warriors are called privileged by people who will never know what sacrifices they made so their kids live a better life than they did,” you said. “You may think that you’re alone, but you’re not. You’ve got one loyal supporter right here,” you raised your hand and he let out a short laugh. “You don’t need to convince the world- or even your father- to see your true intentions. Not that they would appreciate it, now that I think about it…”
Hongjoong laughed at that, resting his hand on his chest. “That was a jab.”
“Yeah, well, the world doesn’t need to know you plan to get rid of the King so they can live a better life in the future,” you teased. “They would be appalled to learn that.”
“You should shut your mouth sometimes, darling. You’re too loud,” he warned though he couldn’t keep himself from smiling shamelessly. 
Your eyes twinkled with curiosity and wonder- he really was just like you. You weren’t the most moral person, you knew all too well- the Master had drained the morality out of you, but he- 
He was here, in all his royal glory yet still just as ugly as you inside. He didn’t attempt to hide it, rather wore it like a badge, though only those who really looked at him found who he truly was.
And that was what was so beautiful about him.
“Aren’t you glad to have me?” You teased. “I bet you can’t talk to Mingi about this stuff. Does he know that you’re hiding something monstrous behind that pretty face?”
“His only job is to help me with the royal duties,” he said. “He doesn’t need to know, but… I’m sure he’s caught on. He doesn’t seem to care, though.”
“You should still be cautious.”
“Yeah, I should be, shouldn’t I?” The Prince leaned back on the chair he was sitting on, folding his arms as he cast a suspicious glance at you. “Maybe I should ask Mingi to get rid of you. You know too much.”
“Oh, you want to shut me up so bad,” you rolled your eyes. “But I’m the only one who’ll dirty my hands for you.”
“Why-”
“Talking about dirtying my hands,” you got up and bent down a bit to reach his height, running your fingers through the hair next to his temple and catching the remnants of the black dye on your palm. You showed him. “It’s so noticeable- you should have washed it out properly.”
The Prince didn’t answer, his eyes guarded as he looked up at you though his mouth was parted almost expectantly. You frowned for a moment at the lack of his reaction before you realised-
He liked it. 
You hesitated before curling your hand in his soft platinum hair again, caressing his scalp and then stifling a smirk when you tugged at his hair a bit harshly, making him crane his neck up to look at you, a soft chuckle escaping his mouth as he shut his eyes.
“You’re playing a very dangerous game here, love.”
“Stop me, then,” you challenged, not caring that you were going to risk everything. You positioned one leg on his thigh to lean your weight on him, your other hand going to grip the back of his neck. “I don’t see you complaining, Prince.”
Hongjoong hooked one finger in the pearl necklace that you were always wearing, bringing you closer and you almost lost your balance, a little gasp leaving your mouth when you pressed against his chest for support. Hands still on his neck and in his hair, you tried leaning away but this time, he stilled you with his hands on your waist. He buried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.
“You smell like chemicals, darling,” he breathed, pecking the skin where his lips met your neck. “And roses.”
“You smell like cheap hair dye,” you said, resting your cheek against his head, his body shaking under you as he chuckled. “Don’t ever wear that again.”
“Your wish is my command, princess,” he said and you froze again. He leaned back to scan your face. “Why? You told me to not call you what I didn’t mean.”
“You don’t mean that, though,” you told him, something incredibly sad starting to brew inside you.
“But I’m only ever honest with you,” he pleaded. “Don’t you know that? If I wasn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
You sighed at that, wishing you were anywhere else other than his fucking lap so your brain wouldn’t have so much problem functioning, but it looked like for now, you were a lost cause. You caught the wetness from the outer corner of his left eye, wiping it down and smearing the black dye on his face in the process. He let you mark him and, mimicking what you had done the night you had warned him not to call him ‘princess’, he grabbed your palm and kissed it.
That was your last straw. You told yourself that you didn’t care if the Prince was honest or deceiving you- you only cared about one thing- you needed him. You rested your cheek against his, trailing kisses down his temple to his jaw and rubbing the tip of your nose there, making him groan. He squeezed your hips encouragingly and that only prompted you to trail more kisses down his neck. You found one spot and alternated between kissing and sucking, drawing away after a few moments when he shifted under you, grinning at the forming bruise.
You marked the Prince like you owned him. And the thought of that alone was making you lightheaded.
You locked eyes with Hongjoong, seeing red- red for lust. Before you knew it, you both were leaning in, your lips meeting in a flurry as you snaked your hands back in his hair, gripping his head to keep him close as you kissed. He brought your body closer while he kissed you, switching from pecks to open-mouthed kisses when you fully rested on his lap, desire coursing through every cell in your body.
This was it. This was the man the Master had warned you to be wary of- the man who held you possessively yet carefully. The man who tugged at your bottom lip, prompting you to open your mouth so he could explore it with his tongue. The man who kissed you as if he had been starving for it- you didn’t know about him but you sure had. 
You couldn’t bring yourself closer, bodies flush against each other as you made out for what seemed like an eternity before he got up, making you wrap your legs around his waist and then he dumped you on the old, somewhat dusty bed. You didn’t care though. You brought him in too, keeping his core locked to yours with your legs, his hands fumbling to open the buttons of your gown- he might as well have torn them. He ripped the bodice of your gown apart, trailing his lips down your neck to your chest and resting his lips on the skin between your breasts.
“Tired already?” You teased, making him chuckle against your chest. He ran his hands up your waist, tracing the curves of your chest before his palms met the bare skin on your shoulders and then he ran his hands down your arms almost lovingly, your smile changing to a gasp when he gripped your wrists tightly and pinned your arms above your head, almost glaring at you.
“You talk too much, sweetheart.”
“Do I now?” you scoffed, letting him pin your wrists with one hand while the other drew your dress away from your chest to reveal your perked up nipples, the cold making you shiver a bit. He cupped one of your breasts in one hand while kissing and sucking around the other, making your back arch against his body. The way he kissed you was too much- it looked like he intended to devour you. You could feel how turned on he was when he started rocking his body against yours, his hard bulge pressing against your core and making you stifle moans until he purposely pressed harder, finally earning a loud one from you.
“That’s what you’ve been wanting all this time, haven’t you?” Hongjoong whispered in your ear, nibbling at your earlobe and making you squirm. “Only wanting to get in my good graces to get fucked by me.”
“Yeah, well, if I had known this was going to happen,” you said, out of breath. “I would have done something sooner.”
He chuckled at that, pressing a sweet kiss to your mouth and drawing back, looking you in the eyes before kissing you deeper. He let you take off his shirt, discarding it on the floor. He let you run your hands on his bare upper body repeatedly, let you help him take off your dress and his pants until you were both left in just your undergarments. He let you take control for just a while when you got on top of him, settling on his lap and admiring his physique. 
His hands rested on your hips, playing with the waistband of your panties, tempted to do something about that too, but for now, he watched you watch him with desire in your eyes. He was surprised to find you so needy yet each touch felt controlled, almost calculated. He didn’t care though- it was already pleasurable enough to drive him insane. He had never let anyone take control of the pace like you did, so he was looking forward to what you were going to do with him.
And he was glad that he let you- you wrapped your hand around his neck experimentally before you bent down to kiss him, loving the way his kisses now became restrained as you controlled his air intake. You swallowed his moans in your kisses, not noticing how tightly he was squeezing your hips until he spanked you once, making you laugh as you drew back.
“Do you have a death wish?” He asked, voice raspy.
“Maybe?” You pecked his cheek.
That was enough- he flipped your bodies to get on top of you, shaking his head before trailing kisses down your chest and then looking at you, watching your expressions when he brought his hand between your legs and brushed one finger against the wet patch on your panties.
“Soaked already, and we’ve just begun.”
“Just begun?” You asked, mouth suddenly dry though the thought of what was next sent a new wave of arousal through your body. Hongjoong snickered at your reaction, wasting no time to pull your panties down, licking his lips at the sight of your drenched core. You kicked him away lightly before taking off your panties and he ran his hands up your thighs-
Pausing when he felt marred skin on his palm and cold washed over you when you realised that he hadn’t noticed the small marks and scars that littered through your body earlier in the faint light- but now, his eyes stopped at each one that he detected.
“Are you going to explain this?”
“Rough childhood,” you muttered- not the entire truth, but close. “Most of these are from how reckless I was, though. Nothing to worry about.”
Hongjoong passed you a look that said that he didn’t buy it, but he didn’t probe. Instead, he kissed every mark and every scar that he found on your thighs before spreading your legs and circling your clit with his thumb, now sporting a devilish smile. You bit your lips- if the emotions from him treating you so tenderly were too much just now, this was a lot. It felt more intimate and personal than anything you had ever experienced. 
“Look at you, y/n,” he called your name- a rare occurrence. “Look at you.”
Before you could respond, he sank one finger inside you quite easily, groaning at how tightly your walls hugged him. You shut your eyes, back arching in pleasure when he curled it inside and slipped another finger- he really did intend to fuck you, and you were going to take it.
“Good girl,” he muttered, meeting your mouth in a wet kiss. You tried to clench your thighs, overwhelmed by the pleasure you got from his fingers curling and opening inside you but he locked your thighs to the bed with his knees, making out with you while his fingers fucked you. Your breathing got unsteady and he knew you were approaching your orgasm which was when he let your legs free, your hips moving of their own accord, rocking against his palm.
“God, you’re insane,” he growled in your ear, slipping his fingers out of you and you almost sobbed at the lack of them inside you, though when he watched his soaked fingers in amusement and licked them to get a taste, you felt shivers in your entire body. He hummed in approval.
“Do something,” you begged but he laughed mockingly. When you shot him a glare, he nodded slowly.
“Whatever you say…” he brought his mouth so close to your core that his lips brushed your aching clit. “Princess.”
Before you could react, he grabbed your thighs to keep them apart, licking a stripe up your wet folds and circling his tongue around your clit. You saw stars, your orgasm fastly approaching once again and all he had to do was dive his tongue inside you and press his thumb on your clit before your orgasm came like a crash, making you want to curl in on yourself but you couldn’t even do that because he restrained you, so you only writhed in his hold in pleasure while he made out with your sopping wet cunt.
“Too much,” you tried to stop him. “Let me breathe, Prince.”
“Oh, I’m not done with you,” he told you almost casually. “You have yet to have me inside you.”
“Oh, god,” you breathed. “Please.”
He snickered at that. “Such a slut for me, aren’t you?”
“Only for you,” you looked at him. “Only for you… my King.”
“Oh, no, no,” he shook his head repeatedly. “You did not just say that.”
“King,” you got up to snake your arms around his neck. “My King. You like being called that?”
He did- it was obvious because he crashed his lips against yours, passionately kissing you and drawing back only to take off his undergarment, not even giving you a moment to appreciate the sight before pushing you down and sinking his throbbing cock inside you, though he was gracious enough to be slow with it so you could adjust. Once he was fully inside you, he remained there unmoving, pulling you up by your shoulders to resume your original position when you kissed him. 
You sat on top of him, whispering the title he craved so badly again and again as you exchanged deep, passionate kisses. He called you princess, called you his queen and you returned the favour. His cock twitched inside you and when he couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed you back on the bed and started thrusting into you, your breaths mingling as your bodies rocked against each other. You told him that you were on contraceptives and he was free to mark your walls if he wanted to, and he bit your shoulder in answer, squeezing your nipples as his motions became unsteady and he jerked wildly against you, his warm cum spreading inside you. 
You kept him close, keeping him going and he thrust through his orgasm until you came as well, burying your face in his chest as both your moans mingled and filled the air in the room. When he finally stilled, he collapsed next to you.
“You plan to kill me, don’t you?” 
For a moment, your heart sank and you wondered if a confession had slipped through your mouth in the heat of the moment, or if he had really managed to peek inside your mind. But when he chuckled, you realised he meant it differently.
“Says you,” you smacked his arm and he brought you closer, kissing your forehead, the both of you unable to meet eyes for a moment as you attempted to conceal the truth and the guilt that accompanied it.
—--------------------------------
The Duke of Neverland- Prince Woobin- arrived two days earlier than schedule, setting off a mild frenzy in the castle as preparations to welcome him fell short, guards’ and soldiers’ rotations shifted, more medical staff got stationed in the infirmary and the kitchen-
Well, the kitchen probably got the worst of it. Though dinner went by smoothly, the staff was overworked and while you were passing by, you overheard a funny conversation about how Prince Woobin’s handsomeness and gentle nature made their efforts worth it.
You supposed you could relate to the sentiment- the Prince wasn’t very old but sure was ageing like fine wine. He was the tallest of them and had strong features just like Hongjoong, though Hongjoong was on the prettier side. The Duke was just as clever as he could be, and he was clearly ambitious especially when it came to the throne and its duties.
And… he intended to let the King know.
“Wonderland is unstable right now, brother,” Prince Woobin insisted. “What the other kingdoms need to see is that our royalty won’t collapse and we’ll stay united and put a strong front.”
There. He was definitely on to something.
“You’re right,” the King nodded, sighing deeply. “I will hold the coronation soon- I’d like it if I can see it happen while I’m alive. I know I’m no longer fit to run this kingdom.” 
He wasn’t, and you had made sure of that. You were just waiting for the right timing. You felt sorry that the King wouldn’t see his last wish come true but you were sure he would watch from above. That was something you were going to believe for his sake.
“I don’t mean that you’re not fit,” Prince Woobin squeezed the King’s arm gently. “But your health is not the best, and it’s better to announce the next in line in your life. I know Hongjoong is your son and very capable of running the kingdom, but I still stand by the fact that he’s…”
The King sent his brother an amused look. “You thought the same about me when I was about to ascend the throne. I didn’t do a bad job, and I’m sure Hongjoong won’t either. He will feel very wronged if I pass the throne to you, and you know that. The crown is rightfully his.”
“Think about the people,” the Prince whispered and then cast a wary glance at you but you pretended you really could hear nothing except the scratching of the pen as you noted tonight’s readings. It was too bad that you were done and couldn’t continue to listen to their conversation anymore. With a bow to the two and a reminder to the King to take his morning walk, you left the room. You didn’t notice the Crown Prince around though you shared a wave with his aide. 
To your surprise- or you supposed you should have gotten used to the sight now- the Prince was lying on his stomach on your bed, reading the same comic book that he had been reading in the public library that day with Mingi. You, for some reason you were still wondering about, had one of your acquaintances in the castle purchase those books and anything related to it when they went to town. You kept these books in your room- it wouldn’t be appropriate if the Crown Prince was caught slacking because he stayed up all night laughing over some silly dialogue in those books.
“While you’re here reading about some fourteen year olds fighting over a girl, your uncle is trying to coax the King into passing the throne to him.”
“Nothing new,” Hongjoong muttered, not looking away from the book. “I’ll be having a meeting with him before the ball. What we’ll do next depends on his answer.”
You settled your bag on the chair and went to the vanity to take off your necklace and rings. “Are you going to ask him?”
“No point beating around the bush, but it will be in the presence of my father and others,” Hongjoong looked up momentarily, meeting your eyes through the reflection in the mirror. “If he admits he wants to get crowned, I’ll have to prove that he’s not fit for it.”
“How?” You turned to look at him.
“How do you think?” He asked, “I’m curious to learn how you would handle this.”
“You’re thinking of bringing up the Neverland Accords, aren’t you?” You asked and he nodded, not surprised that you figured it out. “That’s the one thing the Duke regrets doing. The one blemish on his career.”
“It destabilised the western region. By giving in to the demands of the refugees, he gave birth to a group of people with such hatred towards the monarchy that they became rebels. They left their families for the cause. I believe notorious rebel groups like the black pirates or bluebirds who were cooperating with my ancestors became restless because of this agreement.”
So he knew about the bluebirds- everyone who worked in the castle knew for security reasons, but he knew the history and the reasons. A few of them. And he believed that the Neverland Accords, which were about fifteen years old, might be why your rebel group was restless now. You wished you could tell him that it was much older and sinister than that. You wished you could tell him that the Master wasn’t just one person but a network of leaders over time.
And when you caught yourself thinking about this, you almost dropped the comb in your hand. Thankfully, the Prince was too busy reading his book while you tried to form an answer.
“Well… I suppose that might be true,” you managed to say. “I have something we can add to that.”
“And what might that be?”
You let your hair flow freely now, ruffling it a little before you walked towards the bed, the Prince’s hand inviting and prompting you to sit near him. You leaned in and told him your part of the plan in hushed whispers and he looked at you a few times to make sure this wasn’t a joke.
“I told you,” you held his chin in your hand, gaze stuck on his parted lips. “I told you I would kill for you. I came up with something even better instead. No one will suspect the royal physician, Prince.”
“Because you serve the King?”
“Because I serve humanity,” you said, the chuckle that suddenly left your mouth turning into a low laugh and Hongjoong frowned at that- while your plan was nothing short of a genius plan, a quiet voice in his head beckoned him to question how a royal physician- a doctor- was able to scheme like this. 
But for now, your hand casually resting against his thigh as you laughed was distracting. Your red, plump lips were distracting. The books you got him and the key to your room that you gave him were distracting him. The way you accepted who he was- the dark parts and even the sillier ones- that was distracting. 
Hongjoong started sharing that laugh, shaking his head at you. “Now I’m really hoping the Prince begs for the throne.”
“I won’t let anyone look at what’s yours,” you promised him, gladly letting him sit you on his lap, his book long forgotten by his side. “You can count on me.”
“Why are you doing this, y/n?” He wondered, his hands going under your dress to rest on your bare thighs. “What do you get out of this?”
“I told you-”
“Why are you really doing this?” He asked, an almost dangerous glint in his eyes. “Do you want me to crown you too?”
“No,” you sighed. “I couldn’t be less interested in the crown. I’m interested in what you’ll do for my career,” you lied, deciding to add a sprinkle of something honest in there when you said, “And if I can be with you like this without the crown or the heavy title, I’m content. But you must know that I’ve only had this change of heart recently.” 
“You could ask me to crown you and I might do just that,” Hongjoong offered, looking up at you with adoration but you could see that he was calculating behind that facade. 
“Ah, now you’re tempting me,” you smiled slyly. “Does the crown guarantee that you’ll look at me like this every night? That you’ll always fuck me like you actually mean it?”
“I do, though,” he admitted and your smile fell. 
You were aware that Hongjoong only cooperated with you because he obeyed what you told him- to use you as a tool. However… had he caught feelings along the way? Or was this just another of his grand schemes- to have you lower your guard? You were still half sure that he was going to get rid of you once he was crowned, but now he was offering you something that you thought about only in your wildest dreams.
If you grabbed on to this opportunity… if you could be the queen of Wonderland, you would have more power than the Master. You could make better decisions for the bluebirds. You wouldn’t even have to end the monarchy- you could have the Prince agree to your terms. You knew that the Prince wasn’t an unreasonable man and he would understand if you participated in politics actively if you became the queen and he, the king. He would listen to you and probably even give you better advice- he cared for the kingdom to prosper, as did the bluebirds, so…
Did you really have to kill him? You could just rule with him and use him to achieve the bluebirds’ agendas. You could accomplish so, so much-
“Cat got your tongue?” He teased and you shook your head, pushing down the train of thought for now.
“You’re offering a royal physician the burden of the crown. Of course I’m speechless,” you said. “But… heavy is the head that wears the crown.”
“The rubies would suit you, though,” he grinned and you laughed at that. 
“We’ll talk about this when you’re actually the King,” you told him. “For now, I’m content being where I am. I desire power, not the crown. The crown doesn’t necessarily guarantee power.”
“I think you’d make a nice queen, though,” Hongjoong rested his back against the bedpost, getting your hair away from your shoulders to plant sweet kisses along your collarbone. “Though I’d always be worried if you would poison me or use some drug to make me bend to your will.”
“You’re venomous enough as you are,” you scoffed. “All that bitterness inside you will kill you one day. Besides, I don’t need to use a drug to make you get on your knees. You’ve been doing that pretty often anyway.”
Hongjoong gave you a challenging look and you knew what was going to come next. Especially when his hand came to rest around your throat and he used that to get you off his lap and on the floor.
On your knees.
“Let’s change that now, shall we?”
You only smirked in answer, obeying, and while it was pleasurable enough to be on your knees for the future king, the thing he offered you only heightened your drive and made you sure-
That now, even if it was for one day, you wanted the Prince to rule.
And you wanted to be by his side this time.
—-----------------------------
There sure was something in the air tonight. 
Tonight, the Royal Ball took place in the honour of the Duke’s arrival to the castle in the form of a masquerade party. There were many honourable guests from Wonderland and a few from the neighbouring nations as well. The theme was ruby, which you thought was very ironic. You could see red everywhere- in the costumes, in the flowers that decorated the Hall, and in the wine that filled everyone’s glasses. 
The sound of violins and pianos was adorning the air with notes of excitement and vibrancy. The beat of the footsteps of the dancers in the middle of the hall melded along with the music, prompting the audience to synchronise with their claps or their heartbeats. Laughter and chatter flowed freely in the air along with the bubbles from the drinks the waiters and waitresses poured endlessly. The smell of something floral and musky overwhelmed your senses. It was a clash of perfumes, but if you stationed yourself near one of the windows or the tables with refreshment, the earthy smell of the air and the ever-familiar smell of food would wash over a wave of calm over you.
And you kind of needed that right now, because there sure was all of that in the air tonight, but there was also a wave of palpable calculation. Every look and every touch meant something tonight. Every word was said with caution. Every step someone took towards someone else meant something. And sure, this was just how royal events were, but tonight was special.
Tonight, there was an invisible web of deception and lies hovering above the Hall, waiting to trap its prey at the right moment. Though your prey was one- or two, if you were lucky- there could be more who would get caught by the spider. All you had to do was wait.
You watched the spider- the Crown Prince- looking absolutely ravishing in a deep red embellished coat over a black shirt and pants that matched the embroidery on the jacket. Most of his face was concealed by the extravagant black mask that he wore, the red feathers of it creating quite a contrast with his platinum hair that was styled away from his face. He might be unrecognisable at first glance but you could spot him anywhere. He always stood out to you.
Your eyes scanned the crowd again to find the tall Duke who had been attempting to mingle with anyone of importance throughout the whole night. That man was full of energy and the dark part in your heart wished to bathe him in eternal darkness as soon as possible. However, patience was the key. 
You had to keep reminding yourself that- that you had to be patient and that you couldn’t stray from your path no matter how tempting the road might seem. But you couldn’t deny the fact that being physical with Hongjoong and all his offers were making you incredibly selfish and greedy and clouding your judgement. You were confused, and you wished you could meet the Master or even one of the bluebirds to have yourself reminded of why you were doing this, but with each passing day, the final destination started appearing murkier.
For now, though, you just wanted this night to go smoothly. You got busy when some of the royal physicians from the Duke’s court found you, and your chat with them was quite interesting. However, you kept stealing glances at the Prince. He was now on the floor dancing with someone in an overly fluffy bright red dress and it left the sour taste of jealousy in your mouth. You decided to take a chance and joined hands with the first available partner on the dance floor who introduced himself as one of the Duke’s men. 
You rotated around the dance floor and switched partners twice before you found yourself in Hongjoong’s arms. The smirk he had on his lips made your knees feel weak.
“Couldn’t stay away from me, could you?” He asked, twirling you around once. “I could feel your eyes on me all night long, darling.”
“Can’t resist you,” you teased, bringing your hand closer to his neck than was necessary considering you were dancing. “You’ve been enjoying mingling too much without me.”
“Well, it’s a risky move but since everyone’s so busy dancing, you can get away with it,” Hongjoong told you, glancing at the upper section of the Hall where the King sat with a few of his friends. “However… I can’t wait to take this pretty dress off. You have no idea how irresistible you look tonight, love.”
You smiled at that- you had made a little more effort dressing up tonight than usual. The black silk dress might be plain but it hugged your curves in just the right way. There was a slit in the leg and you were wearing maroon heels, one of them with a matching ribbon that was tied up and around your leg in an intricate pattern, the bow situated right below the slit of the dress. You wore a red mask that covered half your face and extended towards your other eye as well. 
“You look quite charming too,” you said. “Red really is your colour.”
“Red looks like your colour,” the Prince said, pointing his eyes in the direction of the red ruby earrings you were wearing- a gift from the Prince himself for tonight. “I told you- the rubies suit you.”
Before you could respond to that, he squeezed your waist before rotating to switch partners once again, and you were left with those words playing in your head for the rest of the night- but you didn’t have to wait long. As soon as the dances ended and everyone started drinking or leaving for the night, you caught the Prince nodding at you before exiting the Hall and you started following him through the very empty corridors, making sure no one would catch you together.
You saw him go inside one of the abandoned rooms you had used in your early days to meet up and when you went inside and shut the door, Hongjoong was on you in a moment, cupping your masked face and kissing the exposed part of your lips which had to be a struggle because when he drew back, he had your red lipstick smeared across his own lips.
And the sight of that made you physically weak but Hongjoong was quick to hold you with a laugh.
“Already on your knees for me?” He commented and you smacked his chest, taking off your mask and his so you could finally kiss him properly. You broke apart for air and rested your head on his shoulder.
“It’s been a while.”
It had been about five days. The first three days got you anxious enough to want to contact his aide to see if the Prince really was busy or just avoiding you, but then he had the rubies delivered to your room. You wore them that night and looked at your reflection for the longest time, wondering how you would look in a matching crown.
“Yeah, it has been,” Hongjoong said, sweetly kissing your temple and then lifting your face by your chin to kiss you again, his tongue sliding in at the first opportunity. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pushed you against the door, his hand going to grab your thigh and bringing it up so he could press himself to you, lazily playing with the ribbon wound around it.
You broke apart for air, brushing your noses teasingly. “Missed me?”
“Oh, yes,” he said, “I have quite a few updates.”
“And so have I,” you grinned. “You first?”
“Well,” Hongjoong began, his hand on your thigh travelling to the inner side, drawing your panties away to slide his fingers along your wet folds. “The meeting was a success for me. Prince Woobin admitted he would like my crown, and my court was not happy with it. I brought up the Neverland Accords and that made him lose his temper. Good thing the King witnessed that.”
“Ah, that’s good,” you said, which came out more as a moan when he slipped a digit inside you, rubbing your clit in slow strokes with his thumb. “Is that why he’s been trying so hard to get in everyone’s good graces tonight?”
Hongjoong took a moment to respond, too busy trailing kisses down your neck and along your shoulders, drawing the straps of the half-sleeve dress away. “Surely. He has no idea what’s coming for him.”
“About that,” you rocked your hips against his hand when he inserted another finger inside, resting your head back against the door. “The King mentioned something about his father’s illness being similar to his own. I took the opportunity to tell him about ruby.”
“What do you mean?” Hongjoong paused and you gave him a warning look, prompting him to continue thrusting his fingers inside you.
“I mean,” you breathed, curling into his body when you could feel the familiar buildup of an orgasm. “I tricked him. I told him that I was instructed to use an opium compound by the Duke’s royal physicians- which is true, by the way, I discussed the medical side of it with him in the earlier days- ah.”
Hongjoong smirked when you squeezed your eyes shut as he slowed his pace. He was playing with you and it always drove you mad and he loved seeing you in that state.
“So I told him that I was suspicious about ruby and requested the Prince- you- to let me access the private library so I could check if this was the right drug to use. And then I- Hongjoong!”
You moaned loudly when he pressed your clit, the orgasm crashing over you suddenly and with a force that had you gripping at him for dear life. Hongjoong helped you recover from it, rubbing your clit in slow circles and caressing your cheek as you shuddered before he picked you up in his arms and brought you to the couch, looking up at you.
“Say that again.”
“What?”
“Say my name,” he commanded and you brought your face next to his to whisper his name in his ear. He groaned at that, making quick work of unfastening his belt and you barely had time- and the strength- to take off your panties before he had you sit on his hard cock, easily sliding in.
“Now talk.”
You gave him a look, your walls clenching around him at the way he ordered you and he scoffed. “Uh… where was I?”
“Library.”
“Right,” you tried moving but he gripped your hips, making you sit still and you gave up. “So I told him that I found something suspicious in the library which is making me suspect that Prince Woobin had a hand in the late King’s death. Because it was Prince Woobin’s royal physician who was aware of this opium compound, who also happens to be the mentee of the Late King’s dead doctor.”
“Ah…” Hongjoong nodded. “So my father knows that I’m aware of this?”
“I told him that I’ve addressed my suspicions to you and you’re investigating the matter.”
“So when I finally tell him that I’m suspecting the Duke-”
“He will believe you because he’s already heard from me, and I’m his doctor,” you grinned. “I can’t be lying to him about this- and I’ve been lowering his dose slowly anyway so he thinks that I’m trying to get him off this medication without adverse effects.”
“And why are you lowering it? I thought you were going to kill him with ruby?”
“I found a better alternative,” you smirked. “One that would make it look more natural than ruby. And do you know what I call it?”
“What?”
“Silver Light,” you kissed the top of his head. “Like the colour of your hair.”
Hongjoong laughed at that, shaking his head and gladly meeting your lips in a kiss that quickly got heated and prompted him to thrust his cock inside you deeply and you quickly returned the sentiment, bouncing on top of him and matching his energy.
“You’re insane,” he told you, sucking at your bottom lip. “With this, the Duke will finally be out of my way.”
“What about the Duke of Mist- Prince Woojin?” You asked, tugging at his hair which always turned him on.
“An accomplice, maybe,” Hongjoong breathed and you knew he was close. “He’ll be exiled but only after he watches his brother get executed.”
“How fun,” you licked a spot on his neck before kissing there. “Calls for a feast.”
“Oh, I’ll have one right here,” Hongjoong looked down at your joined cores, rolling his hips along yours. “Say my name, princess.”
You were so close. You joined your foreheads as he took control of the pace and you called his name in soft whispers again and again until he was spilling inside you, until his warmth covered you and made you become undone in his arms once again.
And when the two of you laughed maniacally, you decided it.
You were not going to give him up. Not like this- not like the Master wanted you to.
You would take your sweet time. You would have him satisfy your desire like this for as long as he was under your control. You would have him fill you up, have him mark your skin just like he was doing now, have him call you princess, or queen, or whatever the fuck he wanted to. You would wear the ruby crown he loved so much. You would sit on his lap while he sat on the throne.
You only hoped the tugging at your heart was for the desire for all of that instead of the desire to be looked at with love.
—--------------------------------
The past week had been nothing short of eventful and chaotic, to put it simply.
With the King suspecting his brother which bled in his interactions, making the Duke wonder if the King had made up his mind to crown his son, he started trying to reason with the King. His method was the same as Hongjoong’s- to dig up dirt on the Prince and tell the King of his shortcomings. However, the Duke was not aware that he was being suspected of treason, and there was no bigger sin than treason for the King. How could a son kill his own father? 
The King found himself thinking about the reason a lot. He mentioned it when you slipped verita into his drug. He asked you if it was common for a child to kill his parents.
“Unheard of,” you told him. “Depends on the circumstances, I guess. When you have power, you’ll be targeted by anyone and everyone- it wouldn’t matter if they’re blood relations.”
“Sometimes I wish I was a farmer,” the King laughed in disappointment. “I could have lived a good life.”
“They have their own set of troubles,” you told him. “They worry about how to feed their wife and kids. They worry about having too many mouths to feed but then find themselves with even more. And then they do worse things than kill their children and live with the guilt.”
“What’s worse than death?”
“I guess you’ll know soon,” you shrugged and he passed you a side-eye. “If your brother really had a hand in your father’s death… whatever you do next would make you think back to this moment.”
The grief the King felt was clear, and it became even worse when Hongjoong, as per his father’s request, finally concluded the investigation and found the Duke of Neverland, Prince Woobin, guilty of the late King’s murder with the Duke of Mist, Prince Woojin, a suspected accomplice. 
Tonight, Prince Woobin was going to get hanged in the square within the castle walls. The kingdom was in an uproar with his supporters crowding the streets and making home outside the castle walls. Many believed he was being wronged because apart from the Neverland Accords, his career had been pretty remarkable. If you were objective, he was probably fit to run this kingdom too. Prince Hongjoong might be a skilled leader but he still lacked a few important qualities that the people wanted in their future king, such as empathy. You weren’t one to say though, when you had orchestrated this whole plan.
The Duke of Mist Island, Prince Woojin, was choosing to remain silent. It was probably because if he spoke in the favour of Prince Woobin, the suspicions of him being an accomplice would sound true. While the kingdom was outraged, the current king and prince weren’t void of supporters. By choosing to remain silent, he would only get exiled until proven guilty or innocent. He had to think of himself.
One thing was clear to everyone, though. The monarchy was falling apart and it was causing a palpable sense of restlessness. The King’s health was declining at a rapid rate now and his heart was weaker- it was grief that was doing your job for you. Prince Hongjoong was trying his best to keep things calm and so far, he had it under control. It looked like he would soon earn the favour of the majority with his uncles out of the picture. The people had no other choice.
You were stationed at the King’s side, next to his retired aide- an old man who came to be with the King at this difficult moment. You needed to be here in case the King suddenly felt unwell- after all, he was going to witness his little brother get executed.
Hongjoong was seated on the other side and every time that he glanced at the King to make sure if he was alright, he would meet your eyes. You exchanged no signals, though. Tonight, you had hundreds of eyes trained on you. If anyone caught you sharing eye contact, they would simply think the Prince was worried about his father and was making sure that the doctor was alert. If he was doing this consciously, you had to commend his acting.
Prince Woobin’s face was covered with a black cloth as he entered the square, being walked by the guards who held his chained arms. You looked across the square to find his royal physician whose licence was revoked for medical negligence on the basis that he was aware of ruby’s effects- and possibly, how it was used for the murder of the late King. The fact that he had done nothing about it and encouraged you to use it instead made his position worse. You talked to the King and told him that revoking his licence was enough since nobody could have guessed that ruby was dangerous without referring to the royal archives in the private library. 
The guards made Prince Woobin kneel in front of the King, though a level and quite a distance separated the brothers. His mask was taken off, revealing the Duke in a ghastly state. His eyes were sunken though they harboured pure hatred for the people who were wrongly blaming him. The fire burning from the torch illuminated one side of his face, casting deep shadows on the other.
“Your Majesty!” Prince Woobin’s voice boomed through the area, earning startled gasps from the crowd. “Brother dear! I urge you to reconsider and reinvestigate.”
The King sighed deeply. “All the evidence points to you. You plotted to kill me the same way you killed my father.”
“He was my father too, and I would never do that. I may have been after the crown since long ago, but it was never my intention to get my hands bloody along the way. I’m not like this, and you know that.”
“Do I?” The King asked himself, ignoring his brother’s plea of innocence. 
Hongjoong got up this time and his uncle looked at him with such distaste in his eyes that you almost got worried. “Your services to the Kingdom of Wonderland are appreciated. However, you are guilty of treason and murder of the late King, an unforgivable act. We must set an example, however much it pains us.”
Prince Woobin only scoffed in response and spat on the ground, causing the crowd to shift uncomfortably. Prince Hongjoong, however, remained unfazed. 
“Any last words?”
“Yes,” the Duke stood up, standing tall in front of everyone. “You will regret this. Tonight marks the beginning of the end.”
The King rested his head in his hands, overcome with emotions and you asked him if he was feeling alright, even though it was obvious that he was not. You looked at Hongjoong and he stood in front of his father, blocking his view.
“I- I can’t watch this,” the King wiped his eyes.
“It has to happen in your presence- you know the rules,” Prince Hongjoong rubbed his father’s back. “I’ll cover you.”
Prince Hongjoong signalled the executioners to begin and the crowd fell eerily silent as the Duke was led to the gallows. The air felt grim and the Duke’s footsteps were heavy. Though he looked pale when his gaze settled on the blade that was to decapitate his head, he settled on the lunette with a sense of resignation and finality. 
The executioner’s words went over your head. All you could see and hear was red. Red for lies, red for deception and red for death. The blade’s drop was swift and silent but whatever sound it made was masked by the fear and warning delivered as a message through this execution.
The King left immediately after and you followed after him, sharing one last look with Hongjoong whose head was held higher than ever. Perhaps, the burden of the crown was starting to feel lighter on his head. You wished you could kiss his head at that moment and tell him that it was going to get easier from here.
However, it looked like you did not need to. That night, when you went to find the Prince in one of the abandoned rooms, you found them empty. Wondering if he was in your room- or his own room- you started going back towards the residential area but the faint sound of music caught your attention. If it had been any other day, you would have ignored it but something prompted you to investigate.
In one of the storage rooms that held old musical instruments, the room that was once an active class, was the Crown Prince shaking his arms in the air like a maestro, playing an invisible instrument to the music blasting off the gramophone. You remained frozen in the doorway, watching him dance like a maniac to whatever was going on in his head. His movements quickened as the music reached the crescendo and they both crashed down in harmony with the Prince twirling and laughing loudly to himself.
Was he that happy? Was he this pleased now that he was sure that he would be ascending the throne? Strangely enough, the words of your Master started feeling substantial. He wasn’t wrong when he told you why the Crown Prince wasn’t fit for the crown, and you were only realising it now in its full weightage.
The Crown Prince was a madman, blinded by the desire for power and nothing else. He would do anything to have his way. He was celebrating being one step closer to the throne even though the path was marred by blood now. Did he really think you were his equal? Of course not, he was a royal. But did he think you were someone significant in his life now that things were shifting between you two, or had he taken your words too seriously? Were you still just a tool to him? And would he use you even if it meant he had to crown you?
You decided to leave him be for the night, going back to your room to send a message to the Master and make preparations for the final hurdle-
The King.
—--------------------------
If you were honest, you had imagined the Prince choking you far too many times. 
You imagined it would be a result of a spontaneous sequence of events- perhaps, while he kissed you and his hand went around your neck instead of cupping the side like he usually did, he would realise you might have a thing for getting choked. Maybe he would even hear you moan in response and look in your eyes to confirm if you liked it.
Or perhaps, it could be a consequence of a heated moment, such as him on top of you and thrusting relentlessly into you, recognising that you were inches away from an orgasm, and right when your body would arch and jerk as it crashed over you, he would squeeze the sides of your neck to heighten it further. You thought he would make you see stars or something even better.
However, being pinned to the wall by both his hands around your neck, his thumbs pressing your larynx threateningly and making you physically choke in pain was not it. His eyes bore into yours, dripping with venom and you tried smacking his hands away but it didn’t work.
“Did you do it?”
You stopped struggling for a moment, confused, before your features softened. Hongjoong watched with a frown but when he heard your raspy chuckle, he gave you a warning look but your laugh only got louder, making you cough because of his hold on your neck.
“You’re welcome… Your Majesty.”
It had been only a few days since the Duke’s execution. The King was having a hard time coming to terms with his brother’s blood on his hands. He may have bought your lies when you insisted that the Duke had a hand in the late King’s death, but he must have been suspecting tampering of evidence or something worse since he actually got out of his room and went to the private library to conduct his own investigation.
You had luckily lowered the ruby dosage to the minimum and the King was aware that you couldn’t have replaced it with something right away- it might have caused some side-effects. While the King did not suspect you, only commending you for caring about his health, his son received the scepticism in your stead. The King was beginning to feel more wary of Hongjoong and it was becoming obvious to everyone around them. It didn’t help that Hongjoong was doing absolutely nothing to help his case. 
You had successfully completed the first part of your mission, but there was no word from the Master. Had bluebirds abandoned you? All you needed was a signal to proceed with the rest of the plan. Could it be that they somehow peeked inside your heart and discovered the true motives behind why you were cooperating with them? 
You were anxious, and that was not good. It didn’t help that the Prince was incredibly busy now that Prince Woobin’s post as the Duke of Neverland was empty. The Duke of Mist had just negotiated for his life and the King had stopped Hongjoong from taking any further steps related to that matter for the time being. It was getting messier and you were realising that the Prince’s besetting sin might be his emotions and unquenchable thirst for more. While he was fully capable of making rational decisions and was doing his best to appear innocent, he could not hide how much fun he was having handling the matters that were once handled by the late Duke.
And the King may be old and ill, but he was not blind. He suspected Hongjoong, and while he was not stupid, he was too trusting of those around him and that led him to ask you what you thought about the situation. You were thrown off by the question.
“I feel like I’ve made a mistake. It’s weighing on my heart and it will take my life sooner than expected.”
“But why do you feel so?” You asked. “I know that the registers were not substantial evidence but the circumstances…”
“I know,” he nodded. “It seems odd that the royal physician was aware of ruby’s role in my father’s death yet remained shut. I wonder why. Could he have a hand in wrongly accusing Woobin?”
It was then that you realised- Prince Woobin’s physician might have been a member of the bluebirds too. That made more sense than the doctor knowing ruby’s effects and letting them slide when you consulted him for the King- no doctor’s moral code would allow that. 
“But if you think Prince Woobin was innocent and the doctor acted on his own, that would mean he’s serving someone else.”
“Yeah, well,” the King shrugged. “Wouldn’t put past my son to have a hand in it. He’s been far too giddy ever since he got that thorn out of his side.”
You stifled a smile at that. “Isn’t he simply carrying out his duties?”
“Yes, that’s true. But he doesn’t have to look happy about it, does he? Even if I’m wrong and he’s simply doing his job…” the King faltered, coughing violently and you passed him a handkerchief. He wiped his mouth, smearing the piece of cloth with blood. “I can only imagine how happy he will be when I finally die.”
“He’s still your son,” you chided gently. “You’re his father. You can confront him about this if it’s bothering you so much, Your Majesty. This is clearly taking a toll on your health- I should look for other drugs-”
“No,” the King shook his head. “No more drugs. That’s enough. My time is near and I should not run away.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” you pleaded. “But you don’t have to be in pain as you walk towards your inevitable death. Painkillers?”
The King chuckled at that. “You’re a brilliant doctor, y/n. I hope Hongjoong takes good care of you after I’m gone.”
Somehow, that sentence stuck with you for all the reasons and more. The King was the one person who had treated you like an actual human despite his position of power and authority. You had always found yourself comparing him to the Master- another person with power and authority yet no regard for his subjects. While the King had always patted your shoulder with affection, the Master had only ever touched you with a stick- the marks of which you still bore on your skin. While the King always encouraged you to make leaps in the medicinal field and use him as your ‘test subject’ which was an inside joke amongst all the doctors in the castle now, the Master had only ever criticised you.
Would it be so bad if you let the King live? Or were you doing him a favour by killing him? He would die a painless death and wouldn’t witness the doom of his empire. One death had already cost him a great deal- he surely couldn’t take more. Hongjoong wanted him to live a little longer and hand him the crown with his own hands before he passed on, but no matter how much you tried to convince Hongjoong that the King couldn’t live long, his pride wouldn’t let him admit that the King would never willingly crown him. It was why he urged you to look after him as best as you could and why he was so enthusiastic with his work lately. He had something to prove now.
And it was why, ultimately, you decided to let the King rest. He did not need to dig any deeper and find out that his own son and his royal physician had orchestrated this plan. He did not need to be in agony anymore. You slipped the silver light in his medicine and he took it unsuspectingly. You squeezed his wrist in silent gratitude for all he had done for you- from his heart. And then you went to your room and waited to hear the news.
It was too bad that the Prince himself had to be the one who delivered the news to you- 
“Did you do it?”
“You’re welcome… Your Majesty,” you said, finally getting him to let go of your neck. You glared at him as you rubbed your neck in an attempt to soothe the burning sensation. “Didn’t think you’d be so ecstatic to hear that.”
Hongjoong stared at you, for the first time feeling something resembling fear in his heart- the future looked uncertain and for once, the look in your eyes made him shiver. Hongjoong was realising how perhaps he, too, was at your mercy. You wanted him to take over the throne so you sped up the process for him, getting rid of his uncles and now his father. All for what? For the throne that was his anyway? And you didn’t even want to be queen until he suggested it- just why-
“The King died of ‘grief’, but really, it’s the silver light’s doing,” you told him, taking a few steps to close the distance between you two, placing a hand on his shoulder, your eyes scanning his face. “It’s too bad he couldn’t crown you with his own hands, but that’s okay. All that matters is that he’s gone and he didn’t discover the truth about your role in Prince Woobin’s death. We did it, Hongjoong. You did it.”
He did it. He trusted the wrong person and messed everything up. Sure, the fact that he was now the King made him ecstatic, but there was still something that bothered him-
And that was you.
You were unpredictable and dangerous. And he couldn’t have someone like that by his side in the long run. He could not continue dallying with you anymore.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” you urged him, planting soft kisses around his mouth and on the tip of his nose. “You don’t think I did something wrong, do you?”
“Of course not,” Hongjoong kissed your lips. “I just wanted to make sure if it really was you. Did I scare you?”
You shook your head despite the air being heavy with lies. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Hongjoong scoffed at that, looking down as he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief and pretending that your words did not feel like a stab in his back. “I’m just a little bummed that you didn’t tell me.”
“It was a… spur-of-the-moment decision,” you ran your hands across the silky material of his cream shirt. “But all’s well that ends well, isn’t that so?”
Hongjoong nodded. “They’ve taken him away- the funeral will be the day after tomorrow so Prince Woojin can attend.”
“Ah, he’s still here, huh?” You clicked your tongue. “Anything I can help with?”
“Oh, I’ve got that handled,” he assured you, caressing your cheek. “Now… can we stop talking and stop acting? Didn’t you say something about how you couldn’t wait until I got the title so you could say you fucked the King?”
You laughed at that, the two of you leaning in for a kiss that soon turned heated, resulting in discarded clothes on the floor. Hongjoong was rough with you tonight, feeling lightheaded with the weight of the new title on his head. It didn’t help that you kept teasing him, calling him the King or Your Majesty Hongjoong. Despite the gravity of the situation, it turned him on so damn much and he realised that he really was mad. But he couldn’t stop. 
He couldn’t stop until he fucked you hard, taking you from behind and making you become undone on his cock over and over again. He snaked his hand back on your neck as you reached your high, this time to crane your face towards him so he could see you. You locked eyes with him, his silver hair matted on his forehead and a sheen of sweat making his skin glisten. This time, he choked you the proper way right when you came.
You actually saw stars this time. You didn’t mind that he treated you like a ragdoll tonight, probably pouring all his frustrations, grief and anxiety into you. You didn’t mind that he used you like a tool, spanking you whenever you so much as looked at him the wrong way and making you rock on his hips or fingers even though you were an oversensitive bundle of nerves. 
For tonight, you were his and he was yours. You had him wrapped around your fingers and even though he was the one who wielded power and dominance over you, it was ultimately you who moved his strings and controlled his actions. You could only wish that he would remain ignorant for as long as possible. After all, it would be too much of a shame if you couldn’t be like this for just a while.
Hongjoong stopped thrusting his cum inside you, resting his forehead against your bare shoulder and catching his breath, sliding out moments later and watching the leaking cum out of you with an amused look. You smacked his arm and he scooted away so you could bundle the sheets around yourself as you lay next to him, tangling your limbs.
“This is it,” you whispered, kissing his chest. “This is where you’re meant to be.”
Hongjoong kissed the top of your head in answer and you thought his touch felt distant and cold but your mind was too hazy to make sense of it.
For now, you were in the King’s arms. And you were already planning how to make it an everyday ritual.
—------------------------------
Today, the Master’s big plan for the Kingdom of Wonderland was finally going to come to an epic conclusion- Prince Hongjoong was going to get crowned king and he was finally going to ascend the throne. Granted, the path had been rocky and bloody but he finally made it. 
You would be his royal physician now, and no one else’s. And oh, the sight of the empty seat next to his that was once the queen’s was bubbling desire in you for something that was not- or should not be- yours. You were just a piece in the Master’s plan and you becoming the queen was not a part of his scheme.
But you were tired of obeying the faceless Master when there was no guarantee that you would live to see the next day- or even the next moment. The bluebirds were everywhere. They could end you just as easily as you had ended the King. They were cooks, soldiers, doctors, guards and assassins. They sat at every post in the castle and you wouldn’t be surprised if the Master was prowling somewhere around here- especially today. He had to be present to see the scheme of his forefathers about to conclude. 
And you were wondering if it would be too bad if you made some alterations to the Master’s plan. If he had one of the bluebirds sit on the throne, he wouldn’t need to end the monarchy to have the kingdom flourish, would he? He could just have them manipulate the royals and make a puppet out of Hongjoong. And it wouldn’t be too bad if you were the one who sat on the throne, right?
“We should do something about the queen’s empty throne, huh?” 
You almost jumped at the sudden intrusion, looking behind to see Hongjoong’s aide, Mingi, walking towards you to stand beside you. The Hall wasn’t empty but the workers had been silently making arrangements and you had just stopped on your way to your room to get a look at how the preparations were going. 
Mingi was dressed in his official uniform, a number of badges and emblems on the ruby red coat. He smiled at you, continuing. “You’re thinking the King would need someone by his side, aren’t you?”
“I was just reminiscing,” you lied smoothly. “It seems like just yesterday that the late King and Queen sat here proudly and the Hall was full of life.”
“Ah,” Mingi nodded in understanding. “It’s been… a bit sad afterwards, hasn’t it? The King… the grief really clung to him.”
“I sometimes wonder if there’s no cure for grief,” you sighed. “If the loss of his wife wasn’t enough-”
“His brothers,” Mingi nodded. “It’s truly a shame. Prince Woojin has arrived for the coronation but he isn’t too pleased to be here.”
“He’s going to get exiled from his homeland, so I can understand why,” you said and he agreed. The two of you looked at the empty seats for a while before you said you had to get ready for the event and you parted ways. You went to your room to change into a ruby red gown, wearing the earrings Hongjoong had gifted you and tying your hair back. And right after, you went to sit by the window to take a breather.
The sky was clear today, and you wished Hongjoong’s intentions would be too. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was amiss from the night that he pounced on you, suspecting that you killed the King. Yes, you had without letting him know beforehand, but he knew this was inevitable. And you had done him a favour because the King was almost on to him, but Hongjoong just had to be an ungrateful fool. It truly was a shame.
A knock sounded on the door and you opened it to reveal one of Hongjoong’s guards, asking you to accompany him to the royal chambers. You got worried for a moment, wondering if there was a medical emergency but the guard assured you that the Crown Prince just needed to talk to you about something so you followed without the medical kit. Mingi let you in and left, saying he had some matters to attend to. You looked around, finding the chambers awfully empty now that the King was gone and none of his staff was present. You knocked on Hongjoong’s room and he hummed in answer so you let yourself in.
“I see you’re already struggling with the burden of being the King,” you commented, watching him struggle with the robe unceremoniously. “Where’re your maids?”
“I don’t like being dressed by them,” he muttered. “Help me?”
You softly chuckled, standing in front of him between the mirror to fasten the clips to his jacket and then you straightened his clothes. “You only like my hands on you, don’t you?”
“Maybe,” Hongjoong smirked, watching you with a fondness that made you question if you had been wrong to suspect him. “I just wanted to see you before the coronation.”
“Someone’s finally feeling emotional, huh?” You teased and he laughed at that, resting his hands on your hips. “How does it feel to finally be the King of Wonderland, Your Majesty?”
“It hasn’t happened yet,” he raised a brow but you tsk-ed.
“That’s just formality, the event. You are the King. And I’m glad to be here with you right now,” you told him- you really were happy for him, from the bottom of your heart. “All those library sessions finally earned us the crown.”
Hongjoong nodded, not commenting on how you used the term ‘us’. As if the crown belonged to you too. He supposed you had the right to feel like that after being his sword and his shield. 
“Can you come see me after the coronation, in the music room?” Hongjoong asked, gently cupping your face with one hand. “I’d like to give you something.”
“Really?” You asked, searching his eyes for an answer but finding nothing. You felt your heart thump with excitement at the prospect of what this could entail. The silly voice in your head told you that maybe he really was going to crown you or at least make a promise.
“Okay,” you nodded, kissing his palm. “I’ll be there.”
Hongjoong smiled at that and leaned in to kiss you, deep and passionate like none of the kisses you had ever received from him before. Your back arched as you wrapped your arms around his neck and melted into the kiss, his arm around your back bringing you closer. You kissed for a long time before he broke apart and you laughed a little, telling him that you should be going to mark your attendance at the Hall. Hongjoong let you go with a final kiss to the top of your head, promising to see you later.
You had to admit that you were confused by the sudden change in his behaviour, but maybe he had been a bit cold towards you for the past couple of days because of the stress. The Prince had always been a moody man but that didn’t mean that you weren’t hyper-aware of everything he said to you or the way he acted towards you ever since you got rid of the King. If there was one thing you had realised the past few months, it was that you were on your own. The Master wasn’t going to take care of you or protect you if you messed up. The Prince would always protect his crown first before and he would gladly frame you if he ever felt threatened. You were aware of that, and as much as you desired the Crown Prince, his power, and perhaps, the seat next to his, you weren’t going to be unprepared.
When you went to the Hall, you were greeted by many. You had been the King’s royal physician and his confidante of sorts, especially after his aide retired. Tonight, you were going to honour him by lighting the torch that marked the King’s absence before the coronation would begin. The late Queen’s torch would be lit by Prince Woojin, the Duke of Mist Island.
There was a murmur spreading throughout the Hall as Prince Woojin entered, clad not in the official red but black- for mourning. He hadn’t been staying at the castle ever since he arrived for the Duke’s execution and just when he was about to leave the Capital, he heard the news of the King and came to attend the funeral, extending his stay a few more days as per Hongjoong’s request. He joined you at the front row, a few empty seats away from you but you got up and greeted him, just like you would have greeted the late King.
“Have you been well?” Prince Woojin asked. “I heard that you were quite close to my brother.”
You sighed deeply. “I’m alright, thank you for asking. I hope you’ve been well too.”
Prince Woojin shrugged in answer. As the youngest of the three, he was quite the oddball of the family, lacking any desire for the throne since the beginning and keeping to governing the northern region of Wonderland where the islands were located, collectively referred to as the Mist Islands. Unlike the other Duke, he never argued about the policies either, only following the late King’s orders. You supposed there were people in this world who weren’t born with the innate desire for power after all. Prince Woojin was a living example of that.
“Do you think I should start packing up after the coronation?” Prince Woojin asked, surprising you. “I’ve heard rumours that I’m going to be exiled. As if living on Mist Islands isn’t an exile itself.” 
You frowned- you weren’t surprised that he had heard that, but why did he ask you? Was this just small talk or was he on to something? “Did you never want to rule the islands, Your Highness?”
“It’s not that,” he chuckled. “But it’s quite a trip from here, isn’t it? I just wish I had seen my brother more often when he was alive.”
“Well… Prince Woobin did,” you shrugged, and Prince Woojin heard the rest of the sentence even though you didn’t say it out loud. Look where that got him.
“For a long time, I’ve thought that whoever sets their eyes on the throne is doomed,” Prince Woojin said and you listened to his words carefully. “For a while now, the position has birthed tragic endings. Woobin’s death has only strengthened my belief. Even if I was offered the position, I wouldn’t take it.”
You made an impressed face, nodding at the man who looked older than his brothers despite being in his late forties. “You’re very wise, Prince Woojin-”
“Do you covet the throne, my dear?” Prince Woojin looked at you and your mouth parted in surprise at his observation- or guess. Whatever it was. 
“I… don’t, really,” you admitted, looking towards the empty seats. “I guess I covet power and control. For at least once in my life, I would like to be free to make my own decisions and have no one influence my path.”
“Let me tell you something,” he leaned towards you, just as the doors opened revealing the Crown Prince. “You don’t need to sit there to have power or control over your life. That is a cage that looks like salvation, and once you take the crown, there’s no going back. You’re trapped until death. You’ll be controlled by forces you can’t even see. At least right now, you’ll have what? One? Two people influencing your life?”
You glanced at Hongjoong who narrowed his eyes when he saw the two of you conversing. Turning your attention to the Duke, you nodded. “You’re right. It really is a cage, isn’t it?”
Prince Woojin smiled, slumping back and nodding. He looked at where his nephew was, who was being marched towards the throne with Mingi by his side. You and Prince Woojin stood up and the rest followed. You went towards the torches in the middle of the room, standing in front of each other. One of the servants brought a candle to you and you lit the King’s torch first, locking eyes with Prince Woojin. He smiled at you, taking the candle from your hand before lighting the Queen’s torch. After the fire from them rose to a certain height, you both turned towards Hongjoong who was waiting for the signal at the end of the room. He bowed back and turned to receive the crown.
“The lone survivor,” Prince Woojin commented. “For how long, I wonder.”
Your heart sank at his words and you slowly turned to face him. It couldn’t be, could it? Prince Woojin only smiled knowingly at you and then applause sounded across the room, with a chorus of ‘Long Live His Majesty King Hongjoong!’ sounding across the room. While he looked magnificent in the crown, you were left pondering over the Duke’s question.
For how long?
When things got a bit busy, you made one last attempt to tie your fate to Hongjoong’s. You went to your room and wrote a letter, tucking it under the bed like you always did. And then you went to the music room to wait for the new king. You were starting to feel a sense of finality washing over you and to cope with what was surely coming, you started to press your fingers to the piano, the movements feeling foreign but strangely intimate- as if the notes meant to comfort you and pass you silent assurances.
You supposed that was the reason why, when the King finally entered the room with a guarded look on his face and two soldiers by his side, you weren’t surprised. You only scoffed in mock amusement, shaking your head.
“Doctor y/n, royal physician to the late King,” King Hongjoong announced. “You are under arrest for the murder of the late King.”
You let out a short laugh which soon turned maniacal and Hongjoong signalled the guards to give you both some privacy. They went to stand outside the room though the door was kept open.
“You’ll regret this, oh, you will,” you said when you finally got up, taking off the ruby earrings. “This will be the moment you will look back to soon.”
Hongjoong only smiled in answer. “You’re a threat to me as you were to the King. I can’t have you prowling around, you must understand.”
“Of course,” you walked to him and took his hand, slamming the earrings on his palm and curling his fingers over it. “The crown suits you, Hongjoong. Make the most of it while you can.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” He raised a brow. 
You smiled, leaning in to whisper something in his ear, making him freeze. You kissed his cheek before drawing away, getting one good look at all that glory, memorising the face of the person you had crowned, the eyes that had betrayed you long ago, the lips that had always served as a distraction to make you blind to what had been brewing in his mind all along, and then at his hands that had led you to your doom. Before he could stop you, you walked past him and surrendered yourselves to the soldier, mockingly bowing at him.
Even though you could taste your tears, your lips were curved in a smile. You may have doomed yourself but-
You would not be alone. 
You had tied your fate to Hongjoong’s long ago. Your paths had been intertwined since the beginning and would remain so.
You had heard from the Master once- that it takes a monster to destroy another monster. Perhaps, you took his words literally- you became a monster just so you could take another down. You did not regret one bit of it.
—--------------------------
You had watched many executions take place in the square. You had watched the recent execution of the Duke beside Hongjoong.
However, you did not imagine you would be watching the very empty throne from the square, on your knees with your hands tied in front of you- still with Hongjoong beside you, in a similar state.
“Quite a view from up here, isn’t it?” You commented. “Bet the Duke was too infuriated to admire it when it was his time.”
Hongjoong didn’t reply, looking at the rope that was wound around his hands and then back at the throne that he had sat on for barely a day. He clicked his tongue in anger when he spotted Prince Woojin. He didn’t sit on the throne but went to stand at the edge to watch.
This time, the square was empty save for the two of you. No one needed to witness this ugly conclusion, you supposed. It was just a few officials from the castle and-
Mingi. Watching you from the shadows and motioning with his finger towards the opposite direction-
At Prince Woojin. You frowned in confusion but then he crossed his heart and then his wrist, and understanding washed over you. 
Mingi was a bluebird, and so was Prince Woojin. You realised then that your doom had been inevitable. You were meant to die with Hongjoong from the very beginning. Mingi had made sure that happened, and Prince Woojin, who had to be one of the masterminds, had tricked you into planting the letter under your bed. The letter confirmed that Hongjoong had ordered you to kill the King and had fabricated the evidence to get the Duke executed for a crime he did not commit. That way, they had an official confession to get you both arrested and ready for trial. 
But… Prince Woojin had to be someone who worked closely with the Master who had trained you. The Master had to be present today- you looked around, finding some familiar faces but failing to recognise him.
“No one’s coming to save you, Princess,” Hongjoong scoffed and you raised a brow as you looked at him.
“Fuck you too, Hongjoong.” 
Hongjoong shook his head in amusement, looking at you with a strange expression- was that affection in his eyes? You frowned. “You don’t have to fake your feelings anymore. At least be true to me- to yourself- in your last moments.”
“No point wishing I could kill you with my own hands anymore when we’re both going to the same place,” Hongjoong said, his body shaking as he stifled a fit of laughter. You shook your head at that.
“Isn’t it funny?” You attempted to change the subject, wanting a distraction from the way your knees felt numb from kneeling for so long now. “We were doomed from the beginning, you and I. We were both pieces in a game that was being played by these people- the masterminds, from so long ago. Did they ever foresee this moment?”
“Pieces, you say?” Hongjoong asked, wondering who these masterminds were- had he lost the real game while he got high on what looked like a victory to him? “Were you a spy?”
“A bluebird,” you confessed with a short laugh as tears pricked the corner of your eyes. “They’re everywhere, Hongjoong. They’re watching us right now.”
Hongjoong’s eyes widened as he took a look around, finding all the eyes present trained on him. All his life, he had felt like he did not truly belong in the castle but never once had he felt it with this magnitude. He felt like an imposter in his own home.
“So this was all a part of your plan?” Hongjoong asked. His words carried no bitterness or disdain. He simply wanted answers.
“It wasn’t,” you shook your head. “At least, not this,” you raised your tied hands in the air and looked at him. “I really wanted you to rule, Hongjoong. Even if it was just for a day.”
“Well, you got what you wanted-”
“That was what they wanted,” you continued. “I tried to find a way out of this, but you have to understand that I was trapped. By them. By you. I told you that I would make sure to undo everything and sit next to you when you got me arrested, but… the bluebirds got us. I didn’t think I’d sit next to you in the square.”
The rays of the sun were starting to peek from behind the arched roof of the elevation where Prince Woojin stood watching you both. You shut your eyes, letting the warmth of the sun seep into your skin. You were going to be cold for an eternity now.
“Feel that, Hongjoong?” You asked, unmoving. “Another thing we took for granted.”
“The sun?” 
“This warmth,” you looked at him, spotting the grim face of the executioners making their way from the other end of the square, the soldiers and court members taking their respective positions. “Did you ever take your time to feel it? Did you ever feel something similar?”
“I wasn’t always a cold, calculating bastard,” Hongjoong chuckled, glad you were talking to him right now. He somehow felt lighter. “I felt warmth in my mother’s arms.”
“I didn’t,” you told him and he looked at you but there was no pity in his eyes, only understanding. “I felt warmth when the King talked to me like I was his daughter.”
Hongjoong smiled at that, looking at his tied hands. The executioners paused when they saw that emotion on his King’s face, allowing just another moment. You looked back at Hongjoong, strands of silver hair covering his glazed eyes.
“Did you ever love me?” 
Hongjoong’s smile only deepened at that. “Did you?”
“Maybe I did,” you cocked your head, waiting for an answer.
“Maybe I did too,” he raised a brow. “We must have been lovers in our past life.”
“Or maybe we were enemies, and this was my twisted attempt at redemption,” you said and he chuckled. “Maybe we’ll actually do ourselves justice in the next life. If there is one.”
“Death won’t do us part,” he said and you finally let the tears fall even though your heart warmed at his words.
The executioners appeared in front of you, their swords gleaming and ready by their side. Hongjoong had personally requested execution by the sword instead of the guillotine though he never mentioned his reasons for this choice. He raised his tied hands in the air and the executioner looked towards Prince Woojin for confirmation. You narrowed your eyes at the Prince, wondering if he would take the throne or demolish the monarchical system but your thoughts got interrupted when you found your executioner untying the ropes around your hands as well. 
Confused, you looked at Hongjoong who extended his hand, prompting you to take it. You intertwined your fingers with his, squeezing them. He held your hand with considerable strength as if he meant to convey his fear for what was ahead but assure you that he was here, with you. 
“Death won’t do us part,” he promised and shut his eyes. 
You shut your eyes with a smile, thankful for his promise. Maybe in the next life, you would meet again under better circumstances, unburdened by lies and guilt, greed and lust. For the first time, you saw something other than red.
You saw silver- muted but warm, like Hongjoong’s hair. Bright and glaring like the colour of the drug, silver light, that doomed you. Distant and beautiful like the stars you saw at night while you rested in Hongjoong’s arms. Twinkling and intoxicating like the stars Hongjoong made you see when he made love to you.
You saw silver- glorious and absolute like the sword that painted you both red.
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sludgest · 2 years ago
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> IT by Stephen King
TW: Abuse, Sex talk, Gore, Godawful Shipping etc.
To preface this, the book is nothing like the movie. It's absolutely nothing like the movie. They took the characters' names and three isolated events from the book that were like... three pages long each, and then made a movie out of that. If you’re thinking of the movie, don't associate it with my following review, even though I’ll be using movie ss to make the review more visually appealing. I repeat, this is not about the movie.
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TW: abuse, sex talk, gore
IT, by Stephen King, was super crazy, I loved it, and my overactive imagination did too. the characters are so good, I'd kiss Richie Tozier on the lips in a mildly homoerotic way, the story is laid out so nicely and the word choice is insane. Sure, it might have given me nightmares about flying leeches biting dime-sized holes into my arms and flying into my mouth, but it was fun to read. Wild ride. I also liked the perspective switch, graphic detailing, and the way that these horrible events were used as a vessel to talk about philosophy. This book basically scratched all of my itches. A need for gore, a need for emotional depth, a need for comedic relief, a need for poetry, a need for murder and horrors beyond my comprehension.
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Ok, I'm gonna elaborate a bit further to do the story justice. I drip-fed the book to myself slowly, reading a bit every day, five days a week, and it took me... weeks. Well, currently it's my favorite book (no other books have breached the 10-point mark yet) and there's good reason for it. 
First off, the perspective switches were awesome. Point, end of the story. Incredible. I like how you were able to see everything from everyone's perspective, how there were subjective and objective accounts of things, diary entries, news articles, etc. Had me cumming and nutting I swear to god it's so good.
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Second, the family dynamics were well-written. I'm a cause-and-effect type of guy, and I like when characters are fleshed out, and there's a rhyme and reason as to why they're the way they are. King (Stephen King, the author) executes this fantastically by letting you meet the families of most of the losers (that's what they call the main characters if you were unaware.) 
For example, we're introduced to Bill's apathetic, cold family (giving him a motive to kill IT, since he thinks it'll make his family care about him again), we meet Eddie Kaspbraks mother, a fat, and overly emotional lady that sort of abused him (I'm pretty sure that the way she treated him was abusive) and really shaped his character from a young age. Mike Hanlon's family was awesome and supportive, real model family, but he got crap for being african american (story set in 1958, it was really bad for Mike). Richie Tozier also had a good family, Stan Uris as well (he went birdwatching a lot with his dad.) Bev's family, I think, was the worst of all because her dad physically and emotionally abused her, and well as attempting to sexually abuse her. This is later reflected in the man she marries, Tom, who physically, emotionally and sexually abuses her. It was very hard to read, I'm gonna be honest. I didn't know what it feels like to read something with a lump in your throat until I read the parts about Tom and Beverly. Plus, it's like... ultra-triggering for survivers of abuse, so I'd discourage anyone who went through that kind of stuff from reading. If you really wanna read IT though, you should skip over the Beverly POVs because frankly, they're just brutal.
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Well, third, I like how Stephen King wrote sex in this book (it's a continuous theme.) And before you judge me, I'm praising him for being thorough enough, but vague enough. The story is not an erotica, it's not meant to be hot. Sex is mentioned as a form of bond, as a form of abuse (holy shit there's so much abuse in this book, it's absolutely packed with it), and also mentioned in the "losing your childhood" sort of way which becomes VERY important later in the story. Sex is only insinuated in the story, it's not graphic, you don't get any action out of it and it's only for the plot which I find awesome. Even in the part where adult Bill cheats on his wife with also-adult Beverly (lol), sex is only insinuated, even though it's the only actual erotic scene in the book. 
Lastly, the poetry is crazy, and the way he strings together the literal dozens of characters with their own individual stories and experiences is so well-executed. King unironically sat down, created a masterpiece and dipped. Everything fits into place, all the experiences come together to form this... beautiful picture with no loose threads. I'm getting goosebumps and a boner thinking about this (I'm a writer, how could you tell?), but the only thing I didn't like about the book is how it ends. 
(It ends with all of them moving to different states/places and forgetting each other, like, a full memory wipe, and just going back to their lives before that. They're slightly improved though, because Bev leaves her abusive husband and Ben gets a promotion, along with Bill's depression lightening up.)
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Now comes something that really ruffles my feathers. I hate Ben's and Beverly's relationship. I hate, hate, hate it. If the word HATE was printed tiny, 10 times onto every square inch of the 1184 pages of the IT paperback, it wouldn't be able to touch the amount of HATE HATE HATE that I feel for the relationship between the two. Bev could have ended up with anyone else. Richie, maybe Eddie, hell, Bill would have even be fine. But Ben? Ben the weirdo who's fantasized about touching her breasts starting in fourth grade? Ben who never got over her, even as she was married? Ben who couldn't back the heck off? Ben, the lonely, fat pig who I wished had died instead of Eddie in the finale of the book? I guess he's not as bad as Tom, but holy, I was dreading the Bev&Ben arc, and it ended up being confirmed at the end of the book. Screw that, man. 
Still doesn't take away from how good the book was. I'm rating it a solid ten. 
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frodo-with-glasses · 2 years ago
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The lotr section of my brain is very much like yours in that it is most often fully occupied by Frodo and then also Sam and their friendship ( i also do not ship them ☺️) but this sentence from your recent answer to an ask about Frodo and Aragorn "Every eye in Middle Earth is on Aragorn. Only one Eye is looking for Frodo, and he has to do everything he can to avoid it" is making me absolutely lose my mind because I never considered that specific line of thought but it is. So Good. (Also thinking it might be a good explanation for those people who somehow still exist that complain about Frodo not doing enough :P )
Hey, fellow hobbit enthusiast!! You have good taste, friend! I love these boys. ^-^
But OH YES okay listen, this is something I think a lot of modern fantasy writers don’t get: Aragorn’s whole role was to be the distraction. Sure, he fits the archetypical role of the action protagonist and the Dude Who Swoops in at the Last Second to Save the Day, so you’d think he’d be the main character, but he isn’t. And that’s the whole point. Sauron thinks Aragorn is the main character. Aragorn does everything in his power to make sure Sauron thinks he’s the main character. Aragorn looks into the Palantir and wins all these battles and rides to the Black Gate under the name of “King Elessar” and draws all this attention to himself on purpose—not only because he’s helping the free peoples of Middle Earth win their battles in the meantime, but also to take the pressure off of Frodo.
Frodo’s role isn’t that of a battle hero. It isn’t the role of the rightful king. It isn’t in military might or political maneuvering, it’s just in being as quick and quiet as he can and making what friends he can along the way. It’s a stealth mission. Frodo doesn’t fit the role of the action protagonist—he’s a pacifist, a gentleman, full of fear and weariness but determined—and that’s the point.
If LotR was written today, Aragorn would overthrow Sauron in battle and throw the Ring into Mount Doom himself, and Frodo probably wouldn’t exist except for comedic relief. But he doesn’t, and he isn’t. The whole point of Lord of the Rings is that we all have our own roles to play, and not a one is more important than the other, and we’re all valuable parts of the whole, and we all need each other. Frodo would’ve never been able to do it without Aragorn. Aragorn’s efforts would have all been in vain if not for Frodo. The point of Lord of the Rings is SUPPORT and LOVE and TEAMWORK and COURAGE and HECKIN’ FRICKIN’ FRIENDSHIP.
UGH, this story is so good— 😭😭
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sinematically · 3 years ago
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I watched eternals and ok I have THOUGHTS so I’m putting it here and I’m in a cab frantically typing this so it’s basically unfiltered thoughts kay thanks
- it’s different. It got a very obvious mainstream look. It is still a high budget, heavy CGI or like “comic book hero’s” movie but the more I think about it, the less I find a movie from the last few movies in the MCU to compare it to. So, it’s still very super hero movie, just not like the MCU.
- it’s felt a bit like watching Captain America Civil War. We know all of them, and we know they’ve interacted with each other.
- Something felt incomplete, I think it’s the limited amount we know about each of the eternals on their own? But it’s not really a problem
- seeing Kit Harrington and Richard Madden interact, with a sersi involved? The GoT/SOIAF fan in my has died. KINGS OF THE NORTH BABY!!!
SPOILERS-ish AHEAD
- Ikaris’s storyline was somewhat unpredictable, but also if the fate of his character is sealed, I just need to see what they do.
He’s also hilarious and Richard Madden has wonderful comedic timing
Also, seeing a super hero cry. Shed tears. Kill him self because he loves Sersi too much to kill her, but I’m not killing her is going against everything he believes in? I love Ikaris he is my favourite idiot boy.
- as a desi, everything about Kingo just… worked. PROPER HINDI BEING SPOKEN HAS SAVED ME AND I DONT EVEN LIKE HINDI!!!??? & THE dance sequence, the BHARATNATAYAM?? 12 year old me would learn that choreography in 5 min flat. 22 year old me will need an hour but I know I can do it.
HE SAID DISHOOM. DISHOOM.
- Sprite is such a fucking mood. Her relationship with Dane??? With Kingo?? Kingo and Dane need to meet now too, properly.
The illusions
Also when Kingo said he worked in the movies because he missed Sprite’s story telling
- Thena, my moon and stars and my favourite goddess of war. I want to hug u and hold ur hand and kiss ur knuckles baby you are loved. She can do no wrong and will do no wrong
- GILGAMESH DESERVES BETTER. I’ve concluded that Gilgamesh is a fun house husband who would make the best dad jokes. Also thena and Gil are my only OTP from the eternals. When he dies, the fkn crying.
- When Thena killed the Deviant, everyone in the room felt so much fkn relief. She’s so cool
- I really love Gilgamesh and thena so much. On their own and together
- Salma Hayek did such a WONDERFUL job, the mothering and the nurturing. GOD
- PHASTOS!!! Hilarious & romantic and a good father!! Dude just seeing him KISS A MAN on the big screen?? A MAN OF COLOUR!! GAY MEN KISS IS A MARVEL FILM GODDAMN IT. and the way he talks about his HUSBAND BEN? Wonderful. This is essentially the exchange between him and other eternals
“I thought u lost all hope in humanity”
“They remind me that there’s good left”
- Druig is a himbo I think. I like him. If I could control the minds of people, I too would contemplate taking over humanity to get rid of greed and violence etc etc
- Makkari and Druig are cute. I want more Makkari content because She is so fun. She is every quirky incorrect Marvel quote but in actuality. Also something about her signing her words brings in so much personality to her whole character
- HARRY STYLES IS EROS CONFIRMED
- MY BABY MANS DANE WHITMORE IS BACK
Overall? Imma need to watch it again to decide how much I love it but it’s a 3/5.
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fearthedancer · 4 hours ago
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Logan is over confident in his waking world abilities (best example: his athleticism). However, he is insecure of his dream world abilities because he perceives himself as weaker than the rest and a "failure" persay, which is why he puts on an even more severe egotistical front in season 1 (i.e: him going the extra mile of using Lunia's hourglass to try and win the race in s1part1 so he wouldnt lose to his friends who had hourglasses of their own). No, his insecurities aren't a central part of his, but you can't act as if they don't dictate some of his actions.
He was always dependant on making others feel smaller than him and belittling them WHICH IS WHY he tones it down once he, quite literally, becomes smaller than others (s1ep9-10) and realizes that he doesn't like feeling like that.
We don't know much about his association with Dallas but from what we see I think I can say that it ties well into my point from above: Logan would've rather associated himself with the school bully to feel above the others and maintain his ego. Because we don't know much about how his friendship with Dallas worked and how it affected his friendship with Cooper, we could probably assume Dallas didn't like Cooper (due to Cooper obviously being a nerd) which might have encouraged Logan to try and leave Cooper to not make himself as "low" as Cooper on the scale.
The while thing with Logan not feeling like a good team member is literally spoonfed to you in the easiest way to grasp without them outright telling you word for word (because, yknow, the show is for 7 year olds). In s1ep7, Nightmare King notices that Logan is the weakest of the group and that he would do anything to maintain his ego and make himself look stronger to others. Which is how he convinces him in s1ep8 to bring him Lunia's hourglass - He now knows Logans insecurity ("wouldn't be the first time you got your friends in hot water. [...] Pillows Peak... and an hourglass." and knows how to take advantage of it for his own benefit, even if in the very end the plan didn't work. Nightmare king tries to convince Logan to bring him the hourglass under the guise of "getting it fixed" and NK literally says: "Logan, you get that thing fixed, you'd stop being the guy who screws everything up. You'd be... kind of a hero." => the thought of finally owning up to his mistakes and feeling important in the team convinces him to bring the hourglass the next episode.
No, acknowledging how Logan's insecurities affect his actions and friendships is not "making him emo", it's making him 2 dimensional because trust me when i say that no one would actually like Logan if he was just a comedic relief character 24/7 for 40+ episodes straight. Yes, there were no insecurities before they discovered they were dream crafters and what that truly meant because they didn't know how that would affect their lives in the end, which is why Logan still felt like he could bully Mateo for his "nerdiness" without a second thought.
(this is a slight personal jab but i find it very interesting how you only talk about Logan when it either comes to this bullshit or to ships, which is exactly how 85% of the fandom talks about Logan anyway. You cant act as if "you're the blacksheep of the fandom for thinking this way" or some shit because at the end of the day you are just like the rest of the sheep hoarde).
How do you watch Dreamzzz and come to the conclusion Logan isn't insecure. Genuine question because I feel it's a central point to his character a lot
Why would his worst fear be his friends laughing at him and telling him he's not enough if he DIDN'T have insecurity issues??
A character is allowed to be Egotistical for no reason but LOGAN IS NOT ONE OF THOSE CHARACTERS
The whole Lunia hourglass thing WOULDNT have happened if Logan wasn't insecure. NK tells him that he's going to help him be a better team mate and Logan takes the offer. He would NOT have done this IF HE WAS CONFIDENT HE WAS A GOOD TEAM MEMBER
This isn't even getting into Mission Implausible
Hold on i am gonna be so insufferable about this
I think logan genuinely thinks he's better than everyone else and he wants people to know he's better than them
Wanting to prove you are better than someone isn't always about insecurity in logans case i think it's his big ego
I'm going to highlight episodes 5 and 7 cause i wanna use them as examples
Starting in episode 5 this is logan's first fuck up that the nightmare king is apparently gonna use to manipulate him later
However and this is me quoting the episode here go watch the episode if you wanna fact check me
Mateo: someone just had to turn it into a race
Logan: hey don't blame me! All i had to work with was lunia's dumb broken hourglass
Mateo: tell me you had the hourglass
Logan: that's not my fault you were the ones cheating at the race
Both lines show that logan doesn't think any of this is his fault he doesn't feel any guilt about it cause he does not view it as his fault (he does take accountability at the end of the episode but it will be shown later that he still thinks it's not his fault)
Also this is the first episode where the other kids first use their hourglasses to beat logan which I'd argue isn't building up any kind of inferiority complex in him but i think it's building up resentment (i think this is the right word?) For the others "cheating" in his own words
Now onto episode 7 i wanna highlight Lance's conversation with Logan cause i think it highlights how the nightmare king's way of getting to logan isn't by preying on his insecurities but targeting his ego
Lance: those were some sick moves bro! Logan was it?
Logan: uh yeah? That's me?
Lance: you are killing it! I'm over here like trying to study your game bro
Clear example of him showering him with complements to feed his ego
Lance: ugh that green dude has a totally unfair advantage
Logan: right?
Logan: hey! I'm no cheater
Lance: fight fire with fire bro
Logan: yeah they cheated so....
He is now supporting Logan's resentment of the others cheating that i talked about
Notice how he doesn't convince logan by telling him the hack will help him with his "weakness" or whatever he specifically told him to fight fire with fire and this is where we get to his fuck up
Now onto the big one the instance people point to to prove Logan is on fact insecure and that's his other conversation with lance
Lance: dude i used that cheatcode before and it was fine! It's probably the system that's jacked up
Lance: or you did it wrong that stuff happens
Lance: wouldn't be the first time you got your friends in hot water
Logan: what's that supposed to mean?
Lance: pillows peak and the hourglass
this time the nightmare king is trying a different approach he's trying to make Logan feel insecure about his mistakes
Logan: man how was i supposed to know that broken piece of junk was gonna be so important
However his new tactic isn't working cause Logan doesn't think it was his fault he does not care stay unbothered king
Lance: Logan you get that thing fixed you stop being the guy who screws everything up
Lance: you'd be kind of a hero
No this might sound like the inferiority complex is winning but based on what he says on the next episode I'd argue the part that got to him wasn't "you stop being the guy who screws everything up" but "you'd be kind of a hero"
Logan: let's get this bad boy fixed and show the team who the real clutch player is
Logan: now how do we get this thing repaired so i can be a ✨️hero✨️ like you said
Notice who the part he cares about is being a hero? Being the clutch player? He couldn't care less about his fuck up cause all he cares about is getting the W and showing the others he's better than them
I don't think there's an undertone of insecurity i think he's just a diva w a big ego
But the sick beats episode? He likes attention you don't need to be insecure to like attention n you don't need to be insecure to be sad when you don't get attention he says he's wants everyone to like his music he doesn't look at the camera n go what if ppl don't like my art 🥺👉👈 like mateo does he's just tiktoker
What about his dream trial? He's mildly annoyed at worse he's still sassing the fake dreamchasers n he also immediately wins he gets in goes ok i see what you're trying to do unfortunately NUUH!!!!! (Also lowkey i think his trial is about realising he doesn't need to be the centre of attention not overcoming his inferiority complex or whatever)
Also i really don't think he's insecure about the others being able to dreamcraft while he can't he thinks they're cheating n he's totally still better than them cause he's soooo cool
Like
Logan: jokes on you bro! I don't have an imagination
Logan speaking so casually about having no imagination shows he couldn't care less about it we love to see an unbothered king
It's so funny how ppl say logan is the jealous one one mateo has a scene where he looks at the camera n starts venting on main about how logan is better at him in everything
Like my guy lego isn't subtle they don't do show not tell if he did think he's inferior to the others he would turn to the camera n say it
Als a little point my bestie brought up logan is a foil to mateo (foil parallel?? I know words......) logan is good at sport mateo is bad at sport logan has no imagination mateo is very imaginative logan is over confident mateo is insecure
He is straight up acting egotistical all canon material say he's over confident n everyone still goes hmmm he's clearly insecure like I'm all for emo headcanons but that's what it is a headcanon
Also being insecure isn't a central part of his character being a silly little guy is the central part of his character he's the comic relief guy
Thanks for listening sorry you had to read my opinions you literally asked for it
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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years ago
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What I Thought About "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" from The Owl House
Wow. They are really pushing it for that secret message, huh?
Anywho--Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!
I think it goes without saying at this point that Season Two of The Owl House is setting itself up as a season without filler. Now, filler episodes aren't always bad. Yes, it hurts when a series turns away from the main plot for a week. But at best, they're utilized as a chance for the writers to play around with the characters and developing said characters without it relating to the overarching story. So, some people who see that consider it a bad thing that a series doesn't have that many filler episodes.
I like to call those people: F**king morons.
Don't get me wrong, I see where some of you are coming from. And I'd be willing to agree...if The Owl House was a plot-driven series. Which it's not. It is a character-driven series. Because for every plot thread and narrative that the show presents, they always relate to the characters and develop them further each time these threads get brought up. For example, look at "Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty's Door" (It pains me just to write that). Several narratives move forward, and it’s all done to make the characters grow. And to explain how requires going into spoilers. So keep that in mind as you continue reading.
Now, let's review, shall we?
WHAT I LIKED
Hooty: Might as well start with the character that this episode is about.
To tell you the truth, I wasn't a huge fan when I found out we're getting a Hooty-centered episode. I've grown to love him over time, but he is a comedic character that's best used in small doses. Primarily due to how his voice is grating to me (My ears are still bleeding...). With that said, I do really love his contributions in "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (Seriously, there couldn't have been a less awkward title?). Hooty's antics when trying to help everyone are as hilarious as they are heartwarming. He deeply cares for his friends but just doesn't understand how his plans could do some unintended harm, which is pretty lovable if you ask me. We also get some surprisingly great insight into his character, as he feels insecure about basically being the comic relief who doesn't really do that much other than being funny. Rarely do you get that level of dimension from a comedic character, and it's even more uncommon for that to work out as well as it does here. It once again proves just how competent the writing is in this series to the point where we get an episode about Hooty, and it's funny and heartwarming instead of being annoying. And whoever is responsible for that, you're the best.
Lilith’s Letter to Hooty: I mean it when I say that I love how Lilith kept her word about her and Hooty becoming penpals. Their friendship was something I would have never expected to love, and I'm still shocked that it works so well, so seeing it continue like this just warms me to the bone. Plus, it is pretty sweet that Lilith's kind words are what inspired Hooty to do what he's done in this episode...meaning it's Lilith we should thank here--SON OF A WITCH! Even when she's gone, she's still working her way into my heart!
King going through Puberty: What?! KING IS EVOLVING!
(There, I made a Pokemon reference. Do I get my cookie now?)
Eda Keeping Herself Awake to Train Herself: I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that this has everything to with Raine getting captured last week. If Eda was still the most powerful witch in the Isles, she might have actually saved them. But she isn't, and now the love of her life is in the clutches of a tyrant planning something that could potentially be the end of everything. So I can understand Eda pushing herself to her limit to get back on top again, as I would probably do the same. It's not healthy in any way, and Eda would be doing more harm than good. But when it comes to the people you love, logic doesn't always win out in the end.
Luz Wanting to Make her Way into Amity’s Heart by Making the Echo Mouse Happy: ...That's it. I Just...I just love everything about it, ok?
This was also when I knew that I was wrong to doubt that there would be zero Lumity in this episode. I realize my follies now, and I humbly apologize.
Hooty Teaching King About Demons: This was so funny. So, so funny. Probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially since The Owl House proves itself as a comedy before, but the jokes have never hit as frequently and as hard as they did here. From Hooty getting offended by King's dance to him and Dana's insert wanting a "DNA sample," everything managed to successfully make me lose my s**t. It does come at the expense of King suffering, but I can stomach that much more than if it were Eda or Luz. And, as a bonus, we get lore about how demons work, added with another great joke of King getting in trouble with Hooty for saying he already knows this stuff. Humor isn't always the show's strong suit, but when it works, it f**king works.
King Wanting to Know What he Is: But despite how funny King's vignette was, we still get to see more of his character grow. We learn that he's frustrated now that there's this big question mark over his life now, feeling extra angry that his father "abandoned" him to leave such a present mystery. It shows the hidden resentment he has that Lilith inadvertently brought out, made even worse when King's father hasn't responded to the video yet. King hasn't really gotten that much development until "Echoes of the Past," so it's pretty cool that the writers haven't really slowed down on it. Especially when it leads to these great moments of King venting his frustrations.
King’s Shouting Powers: KING learned FUS RO DAH!
(And now that's a Pokemon reference AND a Skyrim reference. WHERE'S MY GOSH DANG COOKIE!?)
Eda’s Nightmare: If King's vignette hits you hard with the laughs, Eda's will absolutely hit you harder with the feels (never make me say "feels" unironically again). Knowing that Eda's life got thoroughly screwed over by the curse is something we could figure out on her own. But seeing just how much the curse ruined her life and tore apart relationships that mean the world to her really does a swell job at ripping apart the soul. What's even more tragic is, technically speaking, it's all sort of Eda's fault too. She kept hiding the curse, refusing to be a burden to others who would do all they could to help. If she had only been open and honest, things probably wouldn't have changed much, but they most likely would have been better than they are now.
Eda Attacked her Father as the Owl Beast: ...I don't know what I was expecting when "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" hinted that there was some possible tension between Eda and her father...but it definitely wasn't this.
The fact that we see blood where his eye used to be doesn't make things any happier, either.
Raine Broke Up with Eda: Before we get into anything else, let's celebrate the fact that it's now confirmed that Eda and Raine really did use to date in the past. Because this show is just f**king phenomenal with its LGBTQA+ representation!
But, seriously, this is a fantastic reveal that goes far beyond just shipping...well, sort of. It shines a new light on Eda and Raine's interactions from last week, revealing that while they're not a couple anymore, they still very much love each other. It helps make their last interaction especially tragic, as they were both on the same page now and could very well be together again. Only for them to be forced apart for the second time in a way that's much worse than the first. And I frickin' adore that this series changes the impact of one episode one week later. Again, it shows just how competent these writers are, and kudos to them for making something so...perfect.
The Moon Person: WHO THE FU--Nope. Nope! We have more than enough mystery bulls**t to deal with through CreepyLuz and Philip Wittebane, so I am PUTTING YOU ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW!
(They're probably nothing more than a one-off character, anyway)
The Owl Beast and Eda are Connected: Through visuals alone, we, the audience, can clue into what the curse really means. The Owl Beast doesn't want to be a part of Eda as much as she doesn't want it to be a part of her. Whether they like it or not, and they very much don't, they're stuck together. The thing is, and this is what I love the most, they still decide to make the best of their situation rather than let it ruin their lives even more. This might be the best possible turn Eda's curse could have made. It'll still affect her, and there are probably more negatives than positives, but at least now, it's not the worst thing in the world. And I feel like that's all anyone can ask when in a position like her own.
Eda's “Pretty Dream”: I don't know what emotions are toiling inside me more with this moment. Awe and wonder over how beautiful Eda's dream is, or heartbreak over the implication that she has only had nightmares since getting cursed...I'm gonna say both. Yeah, it's definitely both.
Eda’s Harpie Form: Well, fan artists are gonna have a field day with this...especially the freaks.
(You know who you are. And you're weird!)
Luz Calling Amity a “Cotton-Candy Haired Goddess”: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I love this show?
Hooty Kidnapped Amity: ...Hooty, if your stupidity wasn't charming, I would be more than willing to call the authorities over how you kidnapped a girl in your version of a knapsack and locked her in the basement. For that is going to ring SO MANY alarm bells in people's heads.
Amity and Luz Stuck in a Tunnel of Love: *Smacks lips* Mmm. The adorable awkwardness of this moment is just *chef's kiss* magnifique!
Luz being afraid of getting made fun of:
Amity’s look of hope: I mean...just...f**king--LOOK AT HER:
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That is the look of a girl who, while embarrassed as hell, still is ecstatic to learn for a brief moment, everything that she is hoping for has a high chance of being real. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't go "Aw!" at something so pure and innocent?!
Luz Destroying the Tunnel of Love: This is how to effectively utilize dramatic irony. The audience can understand why Luz is tearing the place apart because she explicitly states that she's afraid of Amity rejecting her in the end. They also know that's bogus, thus making it extra painful to watch Amity's heart break more and more with each second (which is perfectly represented through Amity's expressions). You feel bad for both of them, and even worse when you know that it can easily be prevented by the simple art of communication. That's what makes it great dramatic irony. Knowing the point of view of each character results in a scene that evokes emotions in two different ways.
Hooty’s Breakdown: This was...genuinely hard to watch. Not that it was badly written, far from it. It just...hurt seeing how destroyed Hooty was when he realized he failed the people he has such an admiration for. On the upside, a wholesome moment follows soon after as the Owl House gang tries to reassure Hooty that he's done a lot of good that night. It's a pure action that shows even though Hooty gets on their nerves all the time, they still care about him...damn it. I think I'm gonna cry.
Eda’s Advice for Luz: ...Eda...You're the best.
You found out that your surrogate daughter wants to ask a girl out, and not only were you quick to deliver the best possible advice ("Just go for it!"), but you also quickly reassure her that it doesn't need to be perfect.
And you know what? That's it. Eda is the best cartoon mom! She might not technically be Luz's mom, but I don't give a s**t because she is the best!
Luz and Amity Ask Each Other Out: Shh-sh-sh-sh...
Do you hear that?
...
...
...It's the sound of dozens of Lumity fans collectively losing their s**t...and I'm one of them.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
IT!
IS!
CANON!
AH-HAHAHAHAHA!
HOLY S**T! Holy s**t! Holy s**t...might just be the best way I could possibly describe this! Finally, after all the waiting, speculating, and praying, THESE TWO IDIOTS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER! AND IT WAS PERFECT! I mean, it was awkward as s**t, but that's what makes it perfect! You know why? You wanna--Hey! *snaps fingers*. You want to know why? It's because they're teenagers. Of f**king course, it's going to be awkward! This is their first relationship, so there will be a lot of missteps along the way. And that, in itself, brings me to the best (second best part?) thing about it happening in episode eight of the new seasons. Most endgame couples get together in the climax or even at the end of the series. But to have them get together this early on, means there will be quite a few episodes dedicated to showing them grow as a couple.
And better than that--EVEN F**KING BETTER THAN THAT--dozens of kids are going to see these two, a realistic depiction of young love that just so happens to involve two girls, and are going to learn once and for all that there is nothing wrong with being who they are. That fact alone is f**king incredible. Yes, it sucks that season three got cut short, and we'll have even less time with Luz and Amity, but knowing how many kids have felt seen today almost makes it worth it in the end.
And if I see one mother f**ker saying this was poorly paced, I might just hunt them down for SPORT...Sorry if that was an overreaction. I'M JUST SO HAPPY! Because they're happy! Look at them. Listen to them! It's so...GAH-HAHAHA!
“They’re adorable! And deserve all the happiness!”: You're darn right, Hooty! You're darn right.
King’s Father(?) Shows Up: What the--WHAT?! They're doing this now?! Here?! After everything else?
Oh, man. What could this mean? What dynamic changes will this cause in the main cast? How could the writers fit this in during the next two episodes? And what--
Hooty Eats the Letter: ...Pfffft--HAHAHAHA!
Oh, man...I should be mad, and I wouldn't blame others if they are...but that is too much of a brilliant f**k you that I can't help but appreciate it. Bravo writers. Bravo.
WHAT I DISLIKED
...Dislikes? Dislikes? You would honestly believe that after everything I witnessed in this episode, that I would have the gull to list anything wrong with it?!
HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD BE SO CALLUS TO--Actually, I do kind of have an issue with the episode's title. It's just too much of an awkward mouthful for me to get behind. I understand that the writers wanted to sneak the K into the secret message, but were there really no other titles starting with K that they couldn't come up with?
But that's just a personal issue, and in no way do I think anybody else would feel the same way. Especially with how well-written everything else is anyway.
IN CONCLUSION
"Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (title aside) is another A+ episode. It was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and downright adorable while keeping me entertained with every minute. I'm sure there are some issues I was willing to ignore due to how expertly written everything else was, but why bother looking for the chinks in the armor when I could just enjoy a perfect episode for being so...perfect! Some of you might be willing to disagree with me, but to that, I say: Don't knock it till you've tried it.
(Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go lie down. It's...It's been a day.)
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tibby · 3 years ago
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tibby thoughts on pll, the liars plus allison
listen. the show itself is NOT good. it has never been good. even when i was 14 watching it and had a head full of gossip girl and glee brainrot, i knew pll was a bad show. you could say it aged terribly - which it has - but it was also kind of out of date at the time. it's messy, it makes no sense, it has terrible morals even for a teen drama...and yet. AND YET. i find myself returning to the first three seasons every year. i will never watch past that and i never have, all my information from post-s3 is by what i've read...and yet, once again, here i am. about to start s2. i don't even like this show but goddamn they put something in it that keeps me returning again and again. it's a curse.
anyway. let's talk about the girls:
spencer hastings: the LOVE of my LIFE. troian really was too talented for this show and you can see it in virtually every spencer scene, she's just so good no matter how dumb the plot is. spencer is by far the most complex and layered of the liars, even if they very rarely handled her problems well. she's smart and brave and funny and kind of insane but she is my dearly beloved and she is probably the reason i keep coming back. fucked that the show never addressed the amount of adults who preyed on her outside of blaming spencer for it to create conflict with melissa, but also pll is just, infamously bad when it comes to this shit. also i don't CARE, s1-s3 spoby are GOD TIER hets. he was her safe place to land!!!
hanna marin: i feel like sometimes they dumbed hanna down too much or focused on her being comedy relief even when it wasn't appropriate but ashley benson's strength is comedic acting so i guess i can't really blame them. regardless, love love LOVE hanna, easily my second favourite liar after spencer. they handled her ed relatively well for pll standards, but i do think the show relied too heavily on fatphobia, even away from alison. also hanna and mona's relationship is hands down the most interesting one in the show...like, i'm a mona apologist, so maybe i'm biased, but the kind of Intense Friendship they had for a year and how much mona's betrayal fucked with hanna but also how she knew mona could be better and constantly tried to prove it to the others...makes me insane. vandermarin 4 ever. haleb is cute too.
aria montgomery: as a strong believer in the #AriaIsA theory i am constantly disappointed they never embraced the full extent of insane aria because she was always at her most fun there. which might be my lucy hale in fantasy island stan card talking but it's TRUE. let more women be unhinged!!! also fuck ezra fuck ezria fuck marlene king for trying to make that shit romantic when aria should have murdered that fucking predator.
emily fields: just....boring. i wish i could like her because i know she was an important lesbian character for the time but god. she's just so dull. shay mitchell's lack of acting skills do not help. i liked emaya, i guess? mainly i just am so disinterested in emily sorry.
alison dilaurentis: THEY SHOULD HAVE KEPT HER A VILLAIN!!! like okay yes i didn't watch past s3 but everything i saw of ali after they decided to redeem her was SO boring and they made her so dull, i guess because it was the only way they could justify emison or whatever. ali was not just a mean girl in flashbacks she was manipulative and controlling and derived joy from hurting others. she blinded jenna and made toby take the fall even after finding out that he was a victim of SA at jenna's hands. she was so horrible to mona that mona quite literally lost her mind. harassed lucas and paige endlessly. and that's not even touching on how she treated the other girls...like the entire thing pre ali being revealed as alive is the four liars realising how awful she was for them and trying to move on from that, especially with the fact ali was "dead" and they'd never get closure weighing them down. like ali was TERRIBLE but that's what made her FUN and INTERESTING and sasha killed it despite being so young so WHY!!!! WHY!!!! TRY AND MAKE HER OUT TO BE A GOOD PERSON AND CHANGE EVERYTHING THAT WAS INTERESTING ABOUT HER!!! MARLENE KING YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO WRITE AGAIN!!!!
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isuckatreadinglol · 4 years ago
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Six of Crows Review
Alright, first book review on this blog...here we go: *spoiler warning, duh*
Book: Six of Crows Author: Leigh Bardugo
My Rating: 5/5
First off, this is the first YA fantasy I've ever read so I have no idea what I was expecting...and I fuckin loved it.
Second, I binge read this book in three days and it usually takes me a month to read anything ever so that's definitely saying something. I came for Kaz Brekker after watching Shadow & Bone on Netflix and stayed for the amazing plot, diverse and intricate characters, the incredible action and twists, and of course Kaz Brekker. The one thing that I loved was how fast paced this book went, and I genuinely could not stray far from the book because of how addicting it was. There was something in every chapter and you never got bored. The last part had taken the most time for me to complete because of how much action Leigh crammed in the last 60 pages, which made it a bit hard to follow along but it was still epic.
The Characters:
Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Matthias
"“What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?” “Knife to the throat?” asked Inej. “Gun to the back?” said Jesper. “Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina. “You’re all horrible,” said Matthias."
The most diverse set of characters I have ever met. There were 6 characters, and the POV's were constantly changing and at some point, while I read someone else's chapter I was worried about the other characters and anticipating the next chapters. This was honestly an amazing decision to tell this story and I never got sick of the characters (except maybe Matthias, sorry).
Not only does Leigh do an excellent job portraying trauma in her characters (especially Kaz), she also keeps the character's as diverse as possible, from Nina being a plus sized character with badass confidence to Wylan overcoming his dyslexia and even Inej being a brown character. Every character had their own stories and the flashbacks/backstories were always a pleasure to read through.
Kaz Brekker is a stone cold, morally grey, manipulative, and terrible criminal which of course...makes him an even better protagonist. He definitely rocks the Hot Boy Who Is Mean To Everyone Except That One Chick Because Of His Tragic Backstory trope.
"There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken."
He is an anti-hero with his own plans and goals, while also caring so much about his crew that he would do anything for them. I'm very excited to see his character develop with Inej in Crooked Kingdom as well as his relationship with her because I am too obsessed with the two of them. I also enjoyed how Leigh allowed Kaz to fuck up and make mistakes, showing that he wasn't just some perfect character that knew everything about everything, and reading his inner dialogue when he realized his fuck-ups felt refreshing. His backstory was very well written and very tragic (we get it he's emo). It felt so personal knowing why he was they way he was when he sealed himself off from the world. He's also drippy as fuck.
Inej Ghafa just radiates bad bitch energy and when Kaz called her "dangerous" I screamed "DAMN RIGHT". Her mental drive was beautifully written during her chapters, especially while she climbed the incinerator.
"The heat of the incinerator wrapped around Inej like a living thing, a desert dragon in his den, hiding from the ice, waiting for her. She knew her body's limits and knew she had no more to give. She'd made a bad wager. It was as simple as that. The autumn leaf might cling to its branch, but it was already dead. The only question was when it would fall...
Should she jump now or simply wait for her body to give?
Inej felt wetness on her cheeks. Was she crying? Now? After everything she'd done and had done to her?"
Most importantly, she was a raw character who pushed herself throughout the book not just for herself but for the rest of the crew. She was selfless but she was also incredibly strong, driven by her future. Inej is the most inspiring character in the book and I have fallen in love with her more times than I could count. (lowkey carried the team imma be honest)
JESPER FAHEY Y'ALL. My queer sharpshooter king. I think I related to him the most and I loved every chapter with him. Though, I felt like Jesper was treated more as a side character than a main one, especially since he was stuck with Wylan for the entirety of the heist but BOY WHEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS A FABRIKATOR...I might have also screamed. He was definitely the comedic relief and he always kept me laughing at his little comments. Excited to see him and Wylan get together and also hoping for more of Jesper's character.
"Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air."
“If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face.”
Nina Zenik...bro. She is so powerful. The moment she took parem was *chefs kiss* and it was the most badass scene I had ever experienced. When I began reading her chapters I didn't really enjoy them but when the heist actually began her inner dialogue won me over completely. When she was with Jarl Brum I could not stop laughing at the things she was saying in her head, and even when things were intense she always had something to say which made her character come to life. Her personality is hilarious, and sarcastic and she's also so HOT like my gay ass was swooning. She is who I aspire to be, that is all.
Matthias Helvar. Personally, I didn't really like his character so much because of how stubborn and he was (and how many times I wanted to punch his stupid ass), however he was still a pretty cool character with some good moments in there. He demonstrated religious corruption well, and he definitely faced a lot of inner conflict due to the pressure of what he was taught when he was younger. His POVs were a little boring but I loved it when he called Kaz a demjin.
Wylan Van Eck was a super fun character to have around. I definitely enjoyed watching his character grow as he spent more time with the Dregs. I didn't love him as much as the big three (Kaz, Jesper, Inej) and don't have much to say on him except that I admired his strength throughout the last part, especially when confronting his father after hearing all the horrible things he said about his own son. Jesper defending him made me melt big time.
"He's smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."
I literally could not have asked for such a creative group of characters and to see them work together makes me feel like I'm part of a big, criminal family.
The Ships
The ships were a fun addition to the story and the best part was that they never overstepped the actual objective of the plot but rather worked with it to enhance the connections between each character.
Kaz and Inej: Let me just cry for a second.
"She'd laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him."
"I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all."
"I'm going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I'm going to get my girl."
This one hurt me. I am in love with these two and their relationship with each other makes it so much better. They are not meant to be together yet they are connected in so many ways. I did not think I would fall in love so easy, but here I am.
Matthias and Nina: I was not convinced by these two, especially with how weird their relationship was. They constantly seemed like they hated each other (valid) and some of their romantic scenes felt forced. In the end, I enjoyed seeing Nina grow on Matthias to wake his stubborn ass up. I swear that man refused to have feelings. Anyway, I still have mixed feelings on these two.
Wylan and Jesper: They are so cute. Like insanely cute. Like even I was blushing during their cute scenes. Their relationship isn't as developed yet so I am excited to see them in Crooked Kingdom.
Final Thoughts:
Representation? Check
Map? Check
Two maps?!? Fuck yeah
Amazing plot and worldbuilding? Check
Hilarious banter? Mhm
Great writing? Check
Well- written characters? 100%
Overall, this story will forever be my comfort book and I was impressed by the YA fantasy side of literature. It's hard to believe yet comforting that these characters are my age, makes me feel powerful. I loved every bit of this book and now I kinda wanna grab some friends and pull a heist.
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thebleedingeffect · 1 year ago
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Okay I'm coming back to this idea because the more I think about the yiga clan the madder I get. So for me, I think the main issue with botw/totk is that they really can't decide on the type of vibe they want for the yiga clan. Are they actually dangerous? Are these people a collection of dangerous ninjas who are explicitly well trained in the art of fighting and undercover work? Are the yiga clan supposed to be actual enemies with the gerudo, who have a long history of being well-trained, experienced warriors? We know that they are supposed to be that as we're told that's exactly what they are! But none of the events of either game at all support that idea.
In botw the yiga clan are sort of built up to be this sort of ominous enemy, in the shadows and capable of completely masking themselves into something innocent. It's so interesting as it sets the stage that Link cannot even trust the seemingly innocent people of hyrule, what are those implications? How far do the yiga go and does this mistrust manifest at all in hyrule and perhaps even Link? In Kakariko village they speak about the yiga as a group that's meant to be feared and split off from the sheikah 10,000 years ago. I mean, we even get a side mission where the yiga have canonly murdered a guy's wife, threatened his kids, and just straight up said they would burn his village to the ground if they didn't work with them.
Now, this depiction of the yiga shows that they're VERY capable of murder and abhorrent deeds, they're willing to do whatever's necessary to push forward the clan. Before this? The yiga clan have been closer to thieves, skilled yes, but not on the level of straight up murder. All of this paints a picture of a clan that really does sound like it worships the image of Ganon! Or calamity Ganon more specifically, either way, before ever meeting the yiga you're told of this clan that's a serious threat, perhaps something to threaten the kingdom itself.
Which is why the yiga clan that we got is so disappointing to me, because there's so much potential and intrigue there that making them purely comedic relief feels like such a waste of a fantastic concept. What we know about the yiga clan is that they left the sheikah 10,000 years ago as the current king of hyrule looked down on their research, and eventually all of hyrule did the same. The sheikah that left and continued their research are traitors yes- but they have very understandable and interesting reasons to why they left at all and why they resent the royal family.
One concept that makes me so mad is that why aren't the yiga as technologically advanced as the sheikah in botw and totk? Why are they not on the same level? If anything, if technology and advancement is so important to them- shouldn't they have even better tech? Or at least understand the sheikah tech on every single level that there is? This is the thing that gets me about the yiga clan! Every detail given to us, every scrap of backstory paints the yiga as something that's capable, that's dangerous even.
But the yiga we're shown are complete jokes, the moment you actually meet Kohga and begin learning of the people behind the yiga clan- there's no more fear, no more intimidation. It just sucks because I feel like there needs to be something that helps balance out the antagonistic side of totk and botw because it sucks that Ganondorf is basically the only antagonist!
Okay how about this concept, what if the yiga before the calamity had reached out to Ganondorf and he responded? This would give them a much stronger connection to Ganondorf and he would have a connection on Hyrule despite still being sealed. The yiga dissect the guardians, figure out everything that makes it tick, and shares everything they know with Ganondorf. This helps Ganondorf out in possessing the guardians as he knows exactly how they operate! And it establishes that the yiga are both capable, intelligent, dangerous, and actually have a connection to Ganondorf! Because in the games we have no reason at all to believe that Ganondorf even knows of them or even respects them on so low a level as being his subordinates.
Also the idea of even more people joining the yiga post calamity as some people just have to be bitter and resentful that the royal family did nothing to protect them. Lowkey I also like the idea of people sympathizing with why the yiga left all those years ago because it raises the question, what if they had continued that research? What if the calamity had never happened because they were always ready for such a devastating attack? What if some people were so consumed with grief and hatred that they turned to the very thing that ruined everything, because at least calamity Ganon promised them power and protection.
There's so much potential for the yiga that I'm gonna go genuinely insane can anyone hear me can anyone hear ME!!!!
I keep thinking about the yiga clan and there are two sides of me when it comes to them. One part says that the yiga clan being kinda incompetent and a joke offer a nice, humorous side to the main quest that stands out against all the seriousness of the main plot. Another part says that making the yiga clan a complete joke missed out on such an opportunity of depicting a divided hyrule, an angry hyrule. Perhaps people are resentful of the fact that the royal family utterly failed them all and a portion of hylians became so wrapped up in their feelings of grief that they turned to the very thing they hate. It would work extremely well in showing how the calamity still affects the world even 100 years later and would give an additional conflict besides just Ganondorf handling the entire antagonist role on his shoulders
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hoffkk · 4 years ago
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Prodigal Son Appreciation Week
Day 1: Favorite Male Character
Why pick one when you can do a top five list? Lol. Enjoy my top five favorite men from Prodigal Son and the reasons I enjoy them so much.
#1 Malcom Bright: He is the king of whump, my baby boy, my precious cinnamon roll. He deals with so much inner turmoil, it makes my heartbreak, but it gives him so much depth and complexity as a character, making him fascinating to watch. You also gotta the love the humor created through his impulsiveness and naivety. Tom Payne totally did this character justice. It amazes me that someone else almost played him because I can’t picture anyone doing the role better.
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#2 JT Tarmel: What can I say? I love the funny ones. Whether it is asking ridiculous questions or making quick remarks, he definitely adds some comedic relief to the show. I’m still laughing at his concern about his unborn child ending up like Malcolm. That being said, we do see a serious side to him too. You really never know which way he will fall in a particular scene. Overall, I just love this growth with Malcolm. JT went from instant dislike to indifference to admitting he actually liked the guy in two seasons. I would definitely love to see this friendship grow more. If another network/streaming services picks the show up, please add more bromance between two... because they definitely have that brotherly vibe. JT is the cooler, tougher older brother and Malcolm is the envious, dorky younger brother that just won’t listen and annoys him incessantly. It really writes itself. Of course, there is always room for more. I need more! I have a feeling they can learn a lot from each other.
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#3 Gil Arroyo: Papa Gil... the father Malcolm needed and always wanted. Really, he has taken all his younger team members under his wing and is their biggest supporter, always having their backs, which is amazing in itself, especially because they don’t always make this an easy feat, which exasperates GIil and adds some laughs as he stops them from doing inane and insane things like taste poison or point guns at their heads.  Then there is his romance with Jessica, where he tells/shows her she deserves happiness and real love. Such a good guy at heart in every way, willing to do anything and everything to help his friends and family... even it means destroying his car... again.
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#4 Mr. David: Had to give this dude a shout out. He has the hardest job on the show by far... being the guard at Claremont who is in charge of Martin Whitly. He is a champ for putting up with Martin and all his antics. I don’t what they pay him, but he definitely needs a raise. Am I right? Anyway, I hope we can learn more about him one day. Not that we need to because I am already attached. Most of the fandom seems to be based on the rioting that went on when we thought he was gonna die in season 1. I never felt more in synch with the fandom than in that moment.
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#5 Martin Whitly: Yes, I have to throw in the devil himself. I hate him for what he is and what he does, especially to Malcolm, but he adds a unique perspective to the show as a psychopath would uses everyone, even his own family, to get what he wants. Martin keeps you guessing though with his actions... is he really changing his ways, does he really love his kids? Most likely no on both accounts. In my opinion, he just wants his legacy to go on and one of his children to follow in his murderous footsteps. All in all, Martin is a terrible person but a fascinating character. 
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