#kinda. not really. it's all real.
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Hello hi I miss my husband. Have some goofy ass rambles about us.
-Lucifer singing for me when Lux is closed or we just sit at his piano and randomly poke at keys together and make a song that becomes our song......
-Leaving kisses on his hands/knuckle/wrist before falling asleep,,,,,waking up with his face buried in my chest,,,,
-Playing silly adorable phone apps together. Or playing every single otome game we find at first for fun but getting attached to the plot/characters.
-Making a house in Minecraft made out of Nether stuff because we both like the aesthetic. Also trying to beat the game together but we both just suck at it. Like he tries to take out the Crystals and misses every shot. And I try to do the bed thing and just blow myself up. We have fun that's all that matters.
-Doing that old "Chapstick Challenge" thing where one of us wears chapstick and kiss the other and try to guess the flavor. It's a regular thing and like it isn't even like a "haha wanna makeout but make it a GAME" it's like. "do you like this flavor of chapstick because if you don't i will burn it",,,,,,,,and the first but shush.
-Watching REALLY old superhero movies and just. Enjoying the cheesiness of it. Eating popcorn or other snacks and just snuggling together in matching robes.
#💘; devil's dancemate#sorry for not posting about him and my s/i getting married a lot??#i got distracted :(#i mean. i can just say that it's just been planning. totally. yeah.#i didn't forget and get fixated on other f/os. totally not.#i'm sorry luci </3#anyway!!!!!#gush post#self ship headcanons#kinda. not really. it's all real.#i would like to hold him and pet his hair and mumble sweet nothings.#i'd also like to [redacted redacted redacted redacted] /hj#AFHSGHSHG ANYWAY-
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I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.
it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"
plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.
anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.
#blazing saddles#finx watches tv#finx rambles#I recognize that I'm saying all this as someone who's not black#but I am also saying it as someone with a basic understanding of race relations in the usa#and a basic understanding of sarcasm#bc it really does not take more than that to recognize what they're doing in this movie#it is NOT subtle#and it is very funny#mel brooks movies are kinda hit or miss for me ngl#men in tights is great if a bit too crass for my taste#spaceballs has great jokes but the central story lacks any real heart so it doesn't grab me#history of the world was just kind of unpleasant and then I switched it off#but blazing saddles? phenomenal#I could not stop laughing the whole way through#and the central story DOES have heart bc it's the friendship between bart and#whassisname#jim#the Kid#plus bart working out how to succeed at an impossible task#also frankly cleavon little just grounds the comedy really well even before gene wilder shows up and we get their chemistry#bc he's cool calm collected and constantly inviting the audience into the joke#but the character's not too cool to ever mess up or ever be silly#he makes bad choices and gets into bad situations and then has to get himself out of them#but it's.....oh wait duh there's a term for this already#he's the straight man#he grounds all the zany nonsense by being in strong contrast to it#and he does a great job of it!#anyway#point is I deeply enjoyed this movie and I'm glad I finally watched it
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id fumble him so bad
#really really rushed but ill probably go back and clean these up tmrw anyway#i havent played stardew valley but ive been meaning to because i have a little crush on this guy ^_^ hes cute#idk why but smth about him is really endearing. like between him and sunburst i feel like theres a pattern here but idk what#i guess my type is boys that whimper#the last two images are based on a real conversation i had with my doctor a few years ago lol. deadass stared at me for a good 2 minutes#i wanna make a farmersona too...... if my minecraft gameplay is anything to go by id probably play with animals all day instead of#actually farming........ can i just do livestock in stardew.. i dont have a green thumb i managed to kill a succulent once......#actually idk if my computer is even strong enough to run steam but i dont wanna get it on my phone. maybe ill get the microsoft download#unless stardew has its own website like minecraft. i really dont know anything abt it so im going in blind from the start#my art#myart#doodles#puppysona#sona#sdv#sdv harvey#stardew valley#whats funny about this is i have a classmate who kinda looks like if brian david gilbert and harvey had a baby. i havent told him this
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DAY 11: Frames
#homestuck#jade harley#jadekat#karkat vantas#hs#im kinda experimenting with my style a small bit as you can see#or at least im experimenting in general#i dont actually have an exact style neither do i have exact designs#youll probably notice that ill draw jade and karkat in varying manners#especially with jade as i really enjoy pretty much all interpretations of her and would love to draw each one#im a real big fan of what people can manage to do with such a symplistic starting point#this is the same for those silly minecraft people out there. its genuinely impressive :)
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sometimes I'm surprised John was like "i tried to kill Oscar and it was a manifestation of my guilt" bc prior to that bc of the timing I had assumed John heard Oscar talk abt trying to do an exorcism on Marie's husband and had thought "this guy CANNOT learn abt my existence or hes gonna do that to ME"
That’s honestly so funny to image that John actually thought an exorcism would work on him. like yes there’s probably a way to actually do that which resembles an exorcism. But John,,, honey,, you’d think an exorcism? from a catholic priest? would work? after living inside the head of Christianity’s number one hater and nonbeliever??? cmon now
#ask#I mean I can see the train of thought taht could lead you to believing that lmao#like ?? are we under the assumption that god and Christianity are really real in the malevolent universe?? cus if so then yes an exorcism#**AREN’T really real#wouldn’t do anything. HOWEVER. if it’s like. a t y p e of god. if there theoretically is God. just not how you’d think. then maybe Oscar#Could perform an actual exorcism#you get what I mean right ??? Like in possession movies that kinda faith has to exist otherwise there’s no basis for the horror.#WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING#JOHN WAS JUST SCARED AND HE HATES CUTE PREISTS THAT IS ALL
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Riveder le stelle.
Inspired by Divine Comedy, Inferno, Canto XXXIV, line 139.
#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#gabv1el#evolarts#it took a month and half to get this done (from a rough sketch on paper to the real deal but digital) but it's here at last!#that line from the original poem? it struck me so much#it's powerful and hopeful#and brain proceeded to go full 'you know...it kinda fits with ultrakill somehow'#because of obvious reasons#I mean..the events in the game the setting the direction the characters are heading to...#it doesn't leave much room (if none AT ALL) for hope#so...no matter how the end of the game will be#somewhere in non-canon land these two idiots (affectionate) somehow make it out of Hell#both alive#and with a whole world and lifetime to explore and cherish#together#ntw gabe's lacking both halo and wings...bc I forgot!#in hindsight though...eh I don't really mind XD
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MAL'S TOP SEVEN VILLAINS: #2. Kai Parker (The Vampire Diaries) "You’re right. I am a liar, alright? I’m the black sheep. You know, the defective twin that nobody wanted. Must feel real nice for you to stand here judging me surrounded by all the things that you got out of life, while I spent eighteen years in isolation as the family reject. Let me tell you, every inch of me wants to kill you for that. EVERY PART! But I can’t. Because the only way that I can survive is if you help me. And I’d like to live, frankly. Because I didn’t get to do a whole lot of that before everyone decided… that I wasn’t worth it."
#topsevenvillains#the vampire diaries#tvd#kai parker#gifs#thevampirediariesedit#tvdedit#tvdverseedit#kaiparkeredit#useramys12#tuserbelovas#addys-beth#userlolo#tusererika#teendramaedit#userblorbo#userthing#dailymysticfalls#tvdversegifs#chris wood#realized while making this that with all the moments i picked this gifset really doesn't make him look like a villain lol#which i actually think says a lot about his character#i mean he's not the only character on this list i sympathise with and kinda wish had a redemption but he IS the only one i personally#relate to on a very real level and who i think has the right to murder however many people he wants 🤷♀️#i mean his full name is MALachai#coincidence?#(also the caption quote is from a 6x15 deleted scene you can find on youtube if anyone was confused)
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I haven't drawn Floyd that much take some warmups
#rainyart#trolls#trolls branch#trolls floyd#trolls band together#ceo of drawing things a million people probably have but IDFC!!!! the song literally came into my shuffle as i was drawing the first slide#AND IT HURT REAL GOOD SO I HAD TO OKAY#i have so many thoughts about floyd i kinda tried to convey the vibe of a fucking 10-12 year old kid whos grown up in a very very fucking#disfunctional household who knows he's doing a really horrible thing but he is just SO fucking tired. SO tired and needs to get away#and man i GET IT okay. i get it. why wouldnt he wanna get away okay! of COURSE he would wanna get out and establish himself/figure out who#he is outside of a group! without a label to define how he acts!#oh my fucking GODDDD#but my boy..... branch.... branch!!!!!1! 😭😭😭💔💔💔#anyways anyways anyways. yap sesh over ill see you all next time teehee 😁💥 *kicks my feet*#if u read all that. we r kissing
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A girl dreaming of marriage and children
Aaand one year later: I added some colors!
#my art#lineart from 2023#dracula#dracula daily#lucy westenra#bloofer lady#vampire#i know some people have brought up the very good point of making this a series with more characters#and i would love to do that!#but it kinda doesnt fit into what i´m doing rn qwq#i too would love to see it but i also have to make it and i´m lacking inspo rn#and all i really wanna do is lino prints#or more accurately i want to do the carving n cutting bit feels good feels real after working digitally all day#sorry qwq#also i´m still sorry if the clothes here aren´t accurate#a friend gave me some references but they were mostly sewing patterns lol#real sweet but i dont read sewing pattern
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Fun little subtle detail I never noticed before!
So, MOTHER 3 actually has a couple different voice blips for dialogue. There's 5 in total, and the thing I'm looking at distinguishes them as Young Boy, Young Girl, Man, Woman, and Non-human. Idk if those are what they're referred to internally, but presumably that's how they're more-or-less distributed throughout the game (I wouldn't read into the names too much, the Magi apparently use the Man blip for example, so they're not objective in any case).
Anyway, what's fun is how they use these with Porky!
So, for most of his dialogue, Porky uses the "Boy" blip. He uses this whenever he taunts you over the intercom in the Empire Porky Building, the fake Porky you meet before fighting all the Mecha-Porkies uses it, all the way up to "I'm the most clever, most charming, and most trouble-making boy ever..."
But in his next lines after the shot pans up to the mass of machinery in the roof ("I welcome you once again"), his dialogue suddenly shifts into the "Man" blip.
And finally, once he's fully revealed, the rest of his monologue is accompanied by the "Non-human" voice blip.
It's pretty easy to catch if you're looking out for it (especially when he starts speaking with the Non-human blip, that one's really distinctive), and I think it's a really neat detail!
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(Oddly enough, he actually switches back to the Man blip after this, during his battle and the cutscene leading up to it.)
So yeah, that's a pretty cool way to build up to the big twist with him, I think it's really clever ^^
#mother 3#mother series#porky minch#something else that made it neat finding out about this is that i kinda had the same idea already#back when i was playing with my brother and doing voices for all the characters#so how i did it is that he starts in his regular kid voice but starts to wheeze and cough slightly while he's trying to keep it up#up until “...Master Porky Minch!” when i suddenly switch to his real voice for the very first time#and then he kinda flips between the two a couple times before he settles into the old man voice for the rest of the story#so it was really fun finding out that that's basically what the developers wanted you to picture ^^#Youtube
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In Stars And Time? More like In Ace And Gender
+ some alts
#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#josh art tag#happy pride yall!#getting to play as a nonbinary protag who is also ace was just so so cool#im hoping to draw the main 6 with their flags for pride#cuz this game and its lgbt-ness makes me so happy and its awesome that its canon!#i also really love the varied relevancy of the lgbt themes#cuz its certainly not the plot of the story#but some characters lgbt-ness is quite important to their backstory or their current struggles!#while for others its just kinda there!!#and i think thats great#its a good reflection of real life and how different people have different experiences being lgbt and how it affects their lives differently#and works well with the story#it doesnt get in the way at all while still being important to the characters#and it even fits into the worldbuilding so well????#truly if there were no mentions of the Gender Themes i think the worldbuilding wouldnt have been quite as good#mirabelle specifically really gets to me...#prolly cuz im. yknow. aroace too#but seeing how she felt she was betraying her religion? how she fept she needed to change to fit other peoples expectations?#and how earlier in the game she does actually say breaking traditions is also a part of the change belief#but she doesnt realize that can extend to her#it all hits really hard for me
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#THE DATES THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING AAAAAAAAA#its so funny though like imagine being such a bad parent that some loner who jerks off all the time does a better job than you#and hes literally never interacted with children before and is later revealed to have actually been an assassin#renju and shoko really just suck huh#and i dont mean to reduce date to a porno loving loser cuz nah like hes actually got so much depth going on in this situation like he cant#remember a single thing about his past he has no frame of reference for what a family is or if hes ever had one himself#which we then learn he. kinda didnt he was an orphan with no friends no name no one who came looking for him it seems#yet he still finds himself loving and caring for this girl and would literally die over and over for her to live a happy life#hes so genuinely kind and caring and deeply lonely and unsure of himself if hes doing this right#and he feels agonizing pain when hes forced to remember that he isnt mizukis real dad and that. he has nothing#but despite that he doesnt force mizuki to return these feelings because its a lot to burden a child with and shes been through enough#its like. kaname date i love youuuu please just adopt her already 🥺
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i got oil pastels so here's a meal for yall. enjoy
#hlvrai#frenrey qpr momence#but CARROTS!!! REAL#inspired by velvettoad_art kinda?? i love their sketchbook spreads theyre so vibrant and good vibes omg#sketchbook timeeeee#man i love sketchbooking. sketching of book of the sketch of the#i wanna do a scuffed sketchbook tour where my friends draw on the screen while i torture them with my ramblings#they've seen it all like 572548036 times already. im unstoppable#thinking about gay people in my computer#ueughfjghkhhhh#btw listen to two best friends by bean avery it's really good vibes and has like 700 likes on yt what the heck#new fav song for no reason in particular#ok im out#art tag or whatever#eyestrain tw#i guess??#chromatic aberration
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here's the Meleanor chibi speedrun! upfront warning for some flickering and/or flashing throughout from all the sped-up zooming/layer changes.
it turns out I only really recorded up to when I exported the PSD for the first time, so I went back and recorded a bit more to at least show a little of the reworked cape breakdown and background. and then bounced her rig around so you can see a bit of it too! the parts I'm not too embarrassed to show, anyway
even sped up it's still like 47 minutes (s-she took a really long time to make okay), so there are timestamps/chapters in the description if you click through! I certainly don't expect anyone to sit and watch it through, but maybe it'll be interesting to skip around in?
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#sorry for posting again so soon but...it's related to the last post at least?#anyway enjoy me spending literally hours drawing a bunch of parts that i never even used#look we all have our little hobbies#i'm glad people seem to like how she came out! i was really scared to post her because i had so much trouble with the rig#but i forgot that meleanor is amazing and transcends silly things like technical quality and amateur mesh-weighting#thank you all for validating my obsessive quest to reverse-engineer tiny little anime characters for no real reason#spineposting#(kinda)
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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