#Could perform an actual exorcism

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Two Sides of The Same Coin - Chapter 6: "It's Nice To Have A Friend"

"Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand, it's nice to have a friend..."

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes

“You read her file,” Sam states, seeing the solemn, downright depressed look on Tony’s face when you two return to the compound the next day.

He left you sitting on the couch just outside the conference room while both men watch you from the other side of the glass. 

“I did,” Tony confirms, still looking at you with sadness and indignation for you.

“Don’t look at her like that,” Sam hisses under his breath.

“Like what?”

“Like you read her file. You’re gonna upset her.”

“I'm going to upset her? She upset me. Do you know how hard it is to make me sad?”

“Yes, it’s sad,” Sam concedes, turning himself and Tony away from the window before you can make out anymore of their conversation. “Yes, she went through a lot, but she’s happy now. She likes living with me. We have a lot of fun together.”

“She can’t read?” Tony asks, wincing at his many sarcastic remarks he made the day before. 

Sam sighs. “She's learning. She's picking it up pretty quickly too.”

“I made at least two sarcastic comments about her not being able to read caution labels yesterday. I feel like a jackass,” he admits.

“You are a jackass,” Sam confirms. “But we knew that before you made those comments.”

“Alright, momentary sadness over. Thanks, Wilson,” he jokes halfheartedly. “Did they really-?

“What?”

“Perform exorcisms- like actually perform them on her? That can’t really be a thing in this day and age, can it?”

Sam’s mouth pulls in, he tries not to think about it. Think about the things that happened to you. He learned your triggers very quickly, but it was not something you ever really talked about outside of therapy. “Yes,” he whispers solemnly. “Amongst other things.”

You sigh loudly, sitting alone while Sam talks to Tony. Though you couldn’t hear them, you had a pretty good idea of what they were talking about. You could tell from the way Tony was looking at you when you first walked in.

Though you're lost in though, you immediately notice Bucky walks into the living area. He's definitely pleasantly surprised to see you sitting there all alone. “Doll? What are you doing here?”

“Sam wanted to introduce me to more people,” you explain as he comes to take a seat next to you. Without even thinking about it, you shift closer to him, leaning your head against his shoulder. He lets out a sigh as you come to rest your head, so quiet that you don't even really hear the comfort in the exhale. 

“Well don’t look so excited about it,” Bucky sarcastically mutters, resting his arm on the back of the couch. 

A smile tugs at your lips. “It must be exciting, being here all the time,” you remark, subtly redirecting the conversation.

“Eh, it has its ups and downs. Not a lot of privacy- at least you and Sam only have to share with each other.”

“That’s true,” you nod. “I met Steve, by the way. And apparently he doesn’t like it when people touch his shield.”

“You didn’t,” Bucky laughs. You smile up at him, always feeling particularly proud when you can coax a hearty, loud laugh from Bucky.

“It bent so easily,” you continue. “I told you so.”

“I don’t doubt it. That’s why I told you to leave my arm alone.”

“And I did!” you laugh, already feeling more at ease with as you continue conversing with Bucky.

-

“So you two were looking pretty cozy,” Steve comments, having seen the two of you laugh and endlessly chatter as he, Tony, and Sam all discussed the logistics of getting you slowly integrated into the team.

Bucky scoffs, throwing another unsuccessful right hook. “Say what you have to say, Steve.”

“Nothing,” Steve insists, the two of them circling the boxing ring in the training room. “How long have you known her?” 

“A few months now. We’ve gone on a few missions together. Why?” Bucky grunts, dodging another one of Steve’s punches. 

“Nothing, really. Just wanted to know if she's the reason you’ve been in such a good mood the last few months.”

“I haven’t been in a good mood,” Bucky replies, leaving his side open for Steve to sneak a punch in.

It's not just today that Steve's noticed something going on with Bucky, the super soldier seemed happier, more distracted, content to focus on things other than their next mission. And now that Steve had seen Bucky interact with you, it wasn't hard to put the pieces together. Steve continues circling the ring, taunting, “Come to think about it, you’ve been oddly eager for your missions with Sam. Always coming back smiling to yourself, smelling oddly floral, I thought you were seeing someone to be honest.”

Bucky shrugs, getting especially frustrated with Steve’s particular line of questioning. “She doesn’t really get personal space. I don’t have the heart to say anything.”

Steve eyes him with a knowing look on his face, successfully swiping at Bucky's ribs again. “And I’m sure if it bothered you that much, you’d say something.”

“I never said it bothered me, but that’s why I smell like flowers all the time.”

“Interesting," Steve smirks. "How many missions was that with Sam?”

“Does it matter?” Bucky counters, grunting as Steve sneaks jabs his side again. 

“No, I could just go look myself. I’d rather hear it from you.”

“A few a week.”

“A few a week for the last few months seems like more than a few missions. Actually, you’ve been gone a lot lately, even on days you don’t have missions,” Steve smugly points out. 

“You’re reading too much into it, Steve. I’m just doing my job.”

“Such a hard job,” Steve smirks, sweeping Bucky’s leg, sending the man down onto the mat. “Hanging out with a beautiful woman every single day. Letting her hang all over you. Flirting with each other.”

“You’re insane,” Bucky rasps, taking Steve’s extended hand to stand up. "And we're just friends."

"Sure you are, 'just friends'."

"Friends," Bucky repeats more sternly, stepping out of the ring. "That's all."

“What does Sam think about all of this?” Steve asks as he unwraps his hand and Bucky takes off the glove on his metal hand, the one that kept him from inflicting unfair damage during these little training matches. 

Bucky takes a large swig of water, rolling his eyes at Steve. “Don’t know and I don’t care. Sam’s the one that put us together in the first place.”

“Very defensive for a man that doesn’t care.”

“Alright, I’m done with this conversation,” Bucky nods, standing up and walking out of the training room.

"I'm glad someone's finally making you happy!" Steve teasingly calls as Bucky walks further away from him. 

"Just friends!" Bucky calls over his shoulder. 

"Yeah, okay," Steve sarcastically scoffs to himself.

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[seat-safety-switch]

Couple of years ago, I worked in a chicken restaurant. It wasn’t a fast-food restaurant, more like a family eatery. Not very classy, though. Sure, they had the normal accoutrements, and the tables looked like they were made out of actual wood. People brought their kids there, and then they ate some chicken. Peaceful. Normal. And then it happened.

When you work in a food-service environment, even the most professional and upstanding ones, there is a hierarchy. France figured this out first, by using a bunch of soldiers to tell everyone to make croissants at gunpoint. The head chef is God, and if he or she so demands it, you will walk into Hell Itself, find a little stool, and start peeling an entire sack of potatoes there. Maybe you’ll cry in the walk-in freezer a little bit. I digress.

I only lasted at that job for like one week, because I didn’t know the difference between “sour cream” and “creme fraiche.” This is mostly because my high-school French teacher was an alcoholic who listened to books-on-tape in order to learn French herself, and accidentally bought a Spanish tape one month before the final exam. As you can imagine, that became a problem when labouring under the French battalion system in the kitchen. Disgraced, I was ejected into the cold, Anglo world outside.

In order to prepare for my next job, I went to the grocery store and started reading every cereal box I could find. Soon, I was hooked. Pictures of Mustangs left my bedroom wall, and in their place went indecipherable drawings of Citroens, whose drivers were cartoonish waifs, waving cigarette holders together. Things got so bad that my parents called for an intervention, which at the time consisted of hiring a priest to pretend to perform an exorcism and ask for five hundred bucks on the backend. I awoke a couple days later, my pants around my ankles, having vomited out most of the contents of my stomach (Pillsbury instant croissants, Orangina, the keys to a Renault 8 Gordini which I did not own.)

Now, I tour high schools, telling other kids to stay away from the restaurant industry, and more importantly, French shit in general. Stick with the things we know and love, I implore them: Japanese cars, ideally not ones made by Nissan. If it’s got lots of revs, that’s what you need to buy.

[bittybeanie]

reigen hcs pt. 1

some thoughts about reigen because i'm writing a long fic and needed to gather myself

SFW:

first things first, this man doesn’t fall for anybody that doesn’t get along with mob and serizawa. if he knew you could see dimple, he’d probably count too. basically his officemates are his ride or dies and if you can’t get along with the whole team there’s no way. especially since most of the time spent with him before you officially start dating is probably just you hanging out in the office waiting for clients with everybody.

lets you set up work at a spare table every so often. he claims it’s to bring some life to the office by having somebody who’s actually doing something even while it’s slow, but he secretly just appreciates getting to watch you work.

also loves getting to work quietly with you while he does Graphic Exorcisms. pop some classical music on and let him listen to the scratching of your pen or tapping on your keyboard and he is all set to enter the Focus Zone

does find himself getting distracted by you the longer the work session is though. he notices the smallest little quirks about how you sit or hold things or bite your lip when you think or constantly fix your hair and just every little movement starts to draw his attention. he doesn’t mean to, it’s a habit that crosses over from picking up details to use on clients, but he can’t say he minds finding himself staring at you either.

once the coffee shop gets built, he adores when you make trips and think to bring back something for him too (of course, you have to stop him from drinking it while it’s still too hot every single time). anything that involves you checking in on him while he’s working too hard is going to make him melt immediately

gets VERY sweaty on dates, especially your first one. as suave as he seems he’s worried that you just like the Con version of him and he’s convinced that he’s tricking you into thinking he’s cooler than he is. please convince him you like the dork side of him just as much as the smooth talker. this gets easier to do the longer you’ve known him before going out.

NSFW:

i’m hopping on the train of ace-spec reigen because i can’t picture him any other way like- he doesn’t mind it and it feels nice but he very rarely seeks it out and absolutely doesn’t care about going long periods of time without it.

that being said he is VERY eager to please because he cares less about being involved and more about making sure you get taken care of since he thinks of it more as an extension of your existing relationship. it ends up being a sort of performance to him more than anything else but one that he enjoys very very much if it means he gets to see you give him heart eyes the whole time

doesn’t usually get turned on for himself without a long makeout sesh first. sit on his lap and grab fistfuls of his hair and moan into his mouth or against his neck for a lil bit tho? yeah that’ll do it soon enough.

encourages you to talk the whole time. he loves seeing you get flustered by trying to keep up a coherent train of thought, and it’s fun to tease you by making you tell him exactly what you want, but mostly he just enjoys it being the only time he can put his silver tongue to rest and let you do the stammering

this also means that when you finally lose the ability to say much more than his name it hits twice as hard because it means you’ve gone brainless because of him

y’know how he never stops moving his hands while he talks? yeah that’s true of pretty much everything he does. expect his hands to trail up and down your sides the whole time because he’s too indecisive to figure out where to keep them and also he has too much Nervous Energy to keep them still. basically, if he’s not actively using a hand, he’s gonna be rubbing circles into your hip with it.

on the rare occasions that he works himself up and initiates, he definitely prefers you top. he doesn’t want to have to think about what or how he’s doing or all the responsibilities he’s ignoring or have space for his mind to wander, he wants to just hand himself to you and let you take him apart piece by piece, over and over, until he’s shaking and gasping and grabbing at your wrist to just, fuck, maybe one more but just give him a minute, please

[fangirleaconmigo]

I would love to hear your bitter rant abt TWN Eskel

Ok Nonny, duck and cover. Here it comes.

I tend to delay making posts like this because when I watch something (in this case, the botched Episode 2 of Season 2) and get pissed off, I like to calm down and think before I speak.

But then time passes, and it’s like….it’s too late. It’d be weird now. (this is actually the story of my entire life and communication style) But if you’re interested in my Eskel rant, I am happy to oblige.

Before I do, please know I am not just reflexively negative. I reviewed S2 Ep 1 and gave it an A. I posted a long ass blog post saying how much I loved it. The vast, vast majority of the space I take up on social media is focused on positivity and restraint. But I’m a human being too, and like anyone else on this planet, I cannot possibly be expected to love literally everything.

So DO NOT CLICK OR READ IF TWN CRITIQUE IS GOING TO BUM YOU OUT OR RUIN YOUR ENJOYMENT OF IT. Protect your peace. Curate your fandom experience. I want you to be happy and comfortable here first and foremost, I do not need anyone to read this who doesn't want to.

So, for me (book fan, fan of witchers and Eskel), Season 2 Ep 2 failed at everything it attempted regarding the parts set at Kaer Morhen. It failed at showing basic respect for the fans. It failed at telling the original story. It also failed at telling its own story. It also introduced brand spanking new misogyny to the story and to the wolves that was so goddamn disappointing to watch.

It failed at having basic respect for the fans. You can change almost everything about a story. But I firmly believe that the major things like deaths should stay the same. Killing off a character that does not die in the books is a dick move. You can only get away with it if your new story is so powerful and brilliant that it makes people appreciate it for what it is. But it didn’t do that either.

It failed at telling the original story: In book canon (on which the show is ostensibly based) Eskel is the gentlest, most gentlemanly witcher we ever meet! He is kind. He is mannerly. He is loyal. He is protective. I did a whole character breakdown here.

TWN made him a predatory, misogynistic creep. He is aggressive and shitty and creepy to Ciri. He even implies to Geralt that if he would have found Ciri, he wouldn’t have adopted her. He would have fucked her. Seriously I could barely watch, it was painful. I was ill.

But he was infected by the leshy! And we just wanted his death to have impact.

No! That story failed too! They threw the original story in the trash, then replaced it with a weak story that didn't work on it's own merits.

It failed because it did not establish Eskel as a character first. It did not establish his friendship with Geralt first. And no one in the story seemed to be surprised by his behavior. So there was NOTHING in that story that made me FEEL or SEE that it was unusual behavior for Eskel.

If a character is acting the literal opposite of their personality, people would have reacted! When he walked in acting like a giant weirdo Geralt would have hog tied him and performed an exorcism lol. He never once said what the fuck is going on with you. Neither did anyone else.

You can tell me that he was infected by the leshy and that this was unusual behavior for him, but if you show me the opposite thing, (no one taking much note of it) it is muddled, weak storytelling. The ‘after’ scene in the hall could not retroactively change the order in which people experienced his arc. Also, it couldn’t fix this glaring error.

So you’ve disappointed and screwed over people who love Eskel. And you’ve had zero effect on people who didn’t know Eskel. No one who was watching him for the first time gave a shit that he died, because from scene one he was a complete piece of shit. So his death didn’t even have an impact.

Its only job in the narrative was to be vague danger hits unexpectedly close to home making Geralt pivot from ‘hide Ciri away’ to ‘teach Ciri to fend for herself’. There were a million other ways they could have done that. It wasn’t powerful. It wasn’t necessary.

So why does that matter? I’ve seen people go “But he’s a minor character who cares?” I mean, if you don’t love that character then no, you don’t care. And you don’t have to! People connect to different characters. It is allowed. I am fully aware that this is largely a book reader complaint, and it doesn’t need to impact your enjoyment of the show. It shouldn’t! It is also an Eskel fan complaint (which includes lots of gamers), and not everyone is that either. You have my blessing and my envy to not care.

But I would like to differentiate between minor and insignificant. In the books, Geralt and Ciri are the main characters. (Geralt starts out as the main character and it kind of segues into focusing more and more on Ciri.)

And Kaer Morhen is essential to grounding, to defining, to understanding, and to humanizing both Geralt and Ciri. Kaer Morhen may only appear “live” in one book, but this place explains entirely how Geralt became Geralt. And it is (along with Yen) what gives Ciri the strength and resources to survive and vanquish her foes. She dreams about Kaer Morhen. She has visions of it. She recalls their lessons at the most pivotal moments throughout the entirety of her journey. Kaer Morhen may not be ‘on the page’ much, but it is at the heart of literally everything.

And Eskel is the witcher who (other than Vesemir) has known Geralt the longest. They are the same age. They were childhood best friends who played together. He is literally the only living person who was a child alongside Geralt. He knows him and anchors him in a way no one else could. He is singular and unique in that regard. There is something powerful about a story with beings who have been almost wiped out in genocides and are the last of their kinds. It defines Geralt in so many ways. And Eskel is an inextricable part of that.

And Eskel’s protectiveness of Ciri and his kindness to her, makes a huge difference in her life. Also, ETA: Eskel is the first witcher Ciri sees who isn’t Geralt and she is terrified because of how he looks. She is scared when she arrives at Kaer Morhen. But then she learns they are not scary. They are safe and they take care of her. So she learns not to be afraid or judge based on outward appearances. And that is because of Eskel.

So you can say that Eskel is a minor character, but you cannot say that he is insignificant to the story, because he is massively significant to the main characters.

And not only did this episode fuck up him, it fucked up that entire dynamic.

Kaer Morhen is a place of safety and family for Ciri and she calls upon it for strength for the rest of her life. And instead of Geralt walking in and saying “She is our destiny” and them pitching together to train and love and raise her, you have them ignoring her, being like ‘who the fuck is this’ and also sexually harrassing her? Like sobs What was the reason??? Then Geralt kills Eskel??? Kills him??? And Lambert is like…this is all Ciri’s fault?? What the fuck? We didn’t even know Ciri was involved yet. It was so confusing. I was like what the fuck are you saying, Lambert??? It was like a nightmare! Who are these people?? Lmaosob.

And Kaer Morhen itself, this mystical, melancholy place that is speaks of brothers lost that must be hidden at all costs, they bring like an entire group of sex workers there? Geralt can say the place is hidden. But if you show me that everyone and their mother parties there, I don’t feel it.

And the explanation of ‘they all somehow got black out drunk literally simultaneously and they get all the sex workers black out drunk and that is why not a single one of them objected to it, and then Vesemir was totally cool with it because that is both possible, and somehow makes it better?’

But even worse was the misogyny that was introduced. I’m gonna switch to feminist killjoy mode, and I know some of these things I absolutely hated, quite a few of you loved. And that is fine. I respect you and I love you and I would never tell people how to feel about it. But here is what I absolutely loathed.

As a feminist, one of the most important ways to tell if someone’s feminism is real is how they treat sex workers. Feminism is for EVERY WOMAN. ALL. NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS. The minute someone is degrading of sex workers, I see their true colors. Their true colors are respectability politics, girlbossery, and dignity for some. It cuts through a lot of bullshit.

A lot of people see TWN as feminist. And there are FOR SURE some strong feminist themes that I appreciate. But in this episode it was just a big old rotten turd in that respect. (that’s the technical term).

They introduced sex workers so that they could show a naked dead female body. How regressive is that? What the fuck? They also introduced sex workers to act as a ‘scare tactic’ and ‘cautionary tale’ for Ciri. What the fuckkkkkkkkk man help me out here I’m crying.

And I will say that I adore 90% of what they did with Geralt and Ciri this season. I could write a positive post about that if anyone wanted to wash the taste of my disappointment out of their mouths. But again, I am focusing on this ep, and it was just a turd all the way around.

When Geralt stepped THREATENINGLY into Danica’s face because she implied Ciri could become a sex worker, what the fuckkkkk. I KNOW people think that is cute. I respect your point of view. I appreciate you. But I have to disagree. I hated it with my whole heart.

You add that to Vesemir’s little remark about Ciri dancing on tables that was supposed to upset Geralt, and we have more of the same.

Geralt HAS NEVER AND WOULD NEVER be the “I’m bringing a gun to my daughter’s first date” kind of dad. He’s never been the “I'm safeguarding my daughter’s vagina so she keeps her virtue” kind of dad.

Y’all. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I hate it. It creeps me the fuckout. The ENTIRE POINT of Geralt’s relationship with Ciri is that he protects her AUTONOMY. Not her VIRTUE. Do we not see how those two things are literal opposites? Geralt cares about protecting Ciri. From having to kill people. From being traumatized. From being killed or forced to have babies against her will. Not from having fun (dancing on tables??!!). And his worst nightmare is not a sex worker.

HE GOES TO THEM!! He isn’t disgusted by them. To have him again, STEP THREATENINGLY towards Danica to show ‘oh he’s a real dad’ I’m sorry I despise it. I hate that model of fatherhood. The one that is focused on guarding virtue. And Geralt of Rivia baby I’m so sorry that ugly bitch (episode 2) did that to you.

I can have a sense of humor about myself ok I know I’m not in the majority. I know that’s the model of fatherhood that people like. They think it’s cute. But we are all individuals and have our own reactions to things, and that is mine.

I even hated how they had him not remember Danica. Every time she was on screen it was ‘haha see how crappy all these witchers treat them?’ And they also got them all black out drunk??

Holy shit you guys. This is what the creators of this show think the ‘rugged, rough around the edges’ masculinity of witchers is all about. Gahhhhhhhhhh.

And the one bright spot, Geralt and Vesemir, they ended up taking away from me when Vesemir betrays Geralt and TRIES TO DOSE CIRI????

So look. Again. There are so many things I do love about the show. I could wax complimentary about the parts I love if you guys want me to. I love SO MUCH about what they've done with Yen. The sorceresses. I love that they've given them genuine friendships. I could also talk about that. I am obsessed with Myanna Buring as Tissaia. We know how I feel about Joey's Jaskier. I mean it's not the cast's fault! I am fully, fully in love with Yasen Atour as Coën, he was absolutely perfect. I wouldn't be so into the fandom if there weren't many things that I love.

But the fact is, TWN just does not ‘get’ witchers. They do not understand their oppressions (class, mostly) or how power structures exploit them. They made this plainly obvious in the lore they created for the sacking of Kaer Morhen and the ‘Vesemir doses Ciri’ storyline. (that is a whole other post) They do not understand this model of masculinity. They made this plainly obvious with this episode.

Which, these are big things to not ‘get’ for a show that is called The Witcher.

But this is probably just fine for most people! If they have no strong attachments to the themes and spirit of the books, I'm sure it is fine. I understand that this is a niche nerd rant and that I feel passionately about something most people do not! That’s ok. That’s the nerd life baby.

This has been my rant.

[heavenlybarnesss]

Stay With Me Pt. 1

Pairing: Ed Warren x reader

Summary: Requested by @stxrksteve ✨ Ed tries to keep the reader awake after an accident.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, cursing. The end is sweet though, I promise 💗

Author’s Note: I love writing angsty fics for some reason, I guess I just love the whole ‘Ed trying to save you, then nursing you back to health after’ type of trope ? Is that a thing ? Anyways, happy reading! 🧚🏻

“David, stop it!” Debbie pleaded. She watched in horror as his body contorted in all sorts of twisted directions. You looked up at Ed, the two of you sharing a knowing look. This was bad.

The Glatzel family had called you and Ed about three days ago, fearing something evil had latched itself onto their son. You had only accompanied Ed on two other occasions prior to this one. He was very protective of you, and more often than not insisted that you stay at home while he performed the exorcisms alone. The thought of you getting hurt or worse was something he just couldn’t risk. It wasn’t until Father Gordon expressed the severity of the situation that he folded, and decided to let you assist.

“Arne and Debbie, grab an arm!” you ordered. You grabbed one of David’s legs while Lorraine held down the other. Ed began the exorcism, meanwhile you used all of your strength to hold David to the table. He suddenly made eye contact with you, malice evident in his glare. You furrowed your brows, an unsettling feeling creeping its way into your stomach. A deep laugh came from his lips, sending shivers down your spine.

“Rot in hell, bitch,” the demon cackled. You gasped, and the room went silent. The rattling of the shutters had come to a halt and the malevolent throwing of the furniture was no longer. Everyone looked around suspiciously, unsure of what to expect. Ed looked at you concerned, for he was also shaken by the comment David had made towards you. ‘You okay?’ he mouthed towards you. You just nodded, too on edge to give an actual answer.

David was silent, pools of inky black slowly filling his eyes. Nobody moved out of fear of provoking some kind of reaction from him. Your breaths were shaky and shallow. Your hands trembled as you continued to hold his leg. He started to laugh again, this time in a sporadic and delirious manner. He sat up slowly, his demonic strength pulling Arne and Debbie up the table with him. He brought his face inches from yours. You could see Ed tense up out of your peripheral vision. He started to make his way around the table to intervene, but it was too late.

“I said rot in HELL, BITCH!” he growled. A brutal force knocked you off your feet and sent you flying across the dining room. You felt a ringing in your ears, unable to hear the piercing screams of Ed, Lorraine, and Drew as you were thrown through the air. You were like a rag doll, unable to keep any of your limbs straight and firm. Suddenly, the ringing stopped and was replaced with the deafening sound of glass shattering. You were too numb with adrenaline to feel the window shards fall onto your body and throughout your hair. Your body then dropped downwards harshly onto what felt like wet grass. You landed flat on your back with a noticeably loud thump. That didn’t sound good.

You blinked a few times, attempting to focus your vision. All you could see was the night sky, dark but painted with thousands of twinkling stars. Your eyes were heavy, and you could tell you were injured. You decided not to look at the shape you were in, and instead continued to admire the view above you. You heard muffled voices coming from the house, and moments later you made out Ed’s blurred face. You were clearly out of it from shock, your lips curling up in a smile upon seeing your husband.

“Hi baby,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. You reached your hand out to touch him.

“I’m here sweetheart, I’m here. Just keep looking at me. We’re going to get you some help, okay? It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He held your hand tightly, trying his best not to come undone in front of you. You were cold, and you realized you weren’t as immune to the pain as you were before. There was a dull aching in your abdomen. You tried to shift your weight a little to get more comfortable, however; when you did there was a sharp, hot pain that spread over your stomach. You screamed, tightening your grip on Ed’s hand. Your sudden outburst jolted Ed upright, desperately wishing he could take your pain.

“What is it hon? What is it? Talk to me, where does it hurt?”

“M-my stomach.”

Ed swallowed, slowly moving his hand to grab the hem of your shirt and lifting it gently. He froze when he saw what was underneath. A shard of glass from the broken window had lodged itself in your lower abdomen. Ed clenched his jaw, his eyes watering. He couldn’t cry, for he couldn’t let you know how bad it was. He didn’t want to scare you.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” you asked. Ed blinked his eyes a few times, then turned to face you. He did his best to smile, and placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“Everything’s going to be fine, doll. You’re going to be fine.” It sounded a lot more like he was trying to convince himself than you. You didn’t have the energy to panic, or cry. You were sleepy, your limbs felt as though they were being weighed down by bags of sand. The cool grass beneath you was damp with fresh dew, the blades tickling your arms and legs. This isn’t the worst place to die.

“Honey, honey. Look at me, listen to my voice. Whatever you do, do not close your eyes. Don’t you dare close your eyes. Please. Please,” Ed begged while stroking your hair. He shifted your head gently, moving it to lay comfortably in his lap. You hadn’t even realized you’d closed your eyes in the first place.

“But Ed I’m so tired, I want to go to sleep. I’m so, so tired,” you said quietly. Your lids grew droopy, your mind exhausted. Your thoughts drifted to Ed as your eyes closed again. Ed pouring your morning cup of coffee for you before you even get out of the shower. Ed coming up behind you to leave sweet kisses on your neck as you cook dinner. Ed cutting fresh flowers for you from the garden after he finishes mowing the lawn. Ed sitting behind you in the bath tub when you were sick and washing your hair for you. A faint smile painted your face at all the sweet memories.

“I know you’re tired, but you have to stay awake sweetheart. Just stay awake a little longer for me, okay?” You mustered up enough energy to nod your head, but remained unsure as to whether you could actually keep your eyes open. Your mind was fuzzy, you were giving in. The enticing nature of sleep began to engulf you, pulling you deeper into its dark abyss. You succumbed to the feeling, guilty for doing so but too tired to put up anymore of a fight. Ed watched in horror as your head fell limp, your chest halting its movements.

“Y/n, Y/n.” He began to panic, placing his two fingers onto your pulse point. Nothing. “No, no, no. Come on baby, you need to open your eyes. Hon, open your eyes. Open them for me, huh?” Tears streamed down his face, his heart racing. “She’s not breathing!” he screamed to Drew and Lorraine. The two raced over as Ed frantically placed both hands above your heart. He started pumping, beating on your lifeless chest and praying for movement. “Come on, come on, come on,” he chanted with every push on your sternum. Tears streamed down his face, the droplets falling onto your now pale skin. The ambulance soon pulled up, taking over his unsuccessful attempt at CPR. Ed dropped to his knees in anguish, guilt consuming him. A world without you is not one he could live in.

[oswincoleman]

Let's talk about how fantastic Jenna Coleman was as Johanna Constantine and Lady Johanna Constantine in The Sandman!

Be warned: spoilers! But as it has been 2 weeks since it has come to Netflix, I hope most of you will have had the chance to see it by now. And if not; what are you waiting for?

This is a very unique role, the likes of which Jenna has never played before. Which makes it all the more amazing to see with what ease she embodied both Johanna Constantines. In the roles, she has such a powerful presence, she commands the screen, she immediately captures your attention and interest, and never lets go of it. She has such a lasting impression!

Just from the way she looks at other characters, you can immediately see who the boss is. It doesn't matter if you are an immortal. It doesn't matter if you are an Endless, the Lord of Dreams. It doesn't even matter if you are a demon from Hell twice her size. She knows she can, and will send you back to Hell if there is a profit to be made. Jenna really embodies the badass you really don't want to mess with.

Her reactions to meeting Dream, or performing the exorcism on the princess and her fiance (who turns out to be a demon) really showcase her amazing talent. She's tough, foul-mouthed, not impressable, and above all, incredibly awesome! I don't think anyone could look even remotely as cool as Jenna in the role of Johanna when saying the likes of "Get in line bruv, can't keep God waiting!", "Jesus fuck", or "Run along and fuck off back to hell", to name a few.

But what is brilliant about the way episode 3, "Dream a Little, Dream of Me" is told, is that we also get to see who Johanna really is, underneath all that defensive armor of deflection, badassery, and swearing. Once again, a single frame is enough for Jenna to show how strongly the trauma of the Newcastle incident affected Johanna:

Jenna also showed her acting ability through the way she set up her characters, not only in the way they interacted with others, how they carry themselves, how they style themselves, but also how they speak. Jenna always develops unique ways of speaking for all of her characters, and for The Sandman she took on a deeper pitch, to correspond to Johanna's history of smoking. She also distinguished between Johanna in the present day, and her memories of the Newcastle incident. Her story starts off with her in London working-class roots, and so she has a Cockney accent in all the flashbacks. But we learn that she has since moved up the ranks, earns money for herself, is trusted even by the Royal Family, and wears very fashionable clothes. To mark this difference, Jenna moulded present-day Johanna's accent to be posher, with only little traces of her Cockney roots left.

Not only does Jenna brilliantly portray Johanna's tough mask that she wears in public, she also depicts her soft true feelings. You can see the fear in her eyes when she knows she must meet Rachel again, the relief of reuniting with her on more or less good terms, followed by her despair when she sees how Rachel collapses into a mound of sand, and is actually on the verge of death. We see how this triggers a very different response from Johanna. She has come to understand Dream, and has accepted that there are things that she cannot do herself. And it is this realization that enables her to be so influential for Dream, for her message to him to resonate so well.

Jenna's portrayal of the complex range of Johanna Constantine is amazing throughout all her numerous traits. Jenna has yet again shown what an incredibly versatile actress she is. She is working class in the flashbacks. She is cool and tough when necessary. She is sensitive and emotional when necessary. She has such an amazing, and such powerful backstory.

Similar statements can also be made about Jenna's portrayal of Lady Johanna Constantine in The sandman episode 5 (The Sound of her Wings), even though we have only seen it very briefly so far. She yet again developed a unique way of speaking for the role. She is also very confident, but of a different nature; she still wants to have bodyguards supporting her in the direction that works for them.

The dedication Jenna brings to this role is truly amazing. She only had a major role in one episode, one small role in another, and tiny appearance otherwise. But she still went to so much effort to make each character unique, and stand out. Her performances cover a large plethora of not only characters, but character traits as well. Jenna portrays it all so effortlessly and convincingly. It is always amazing to watch how vividly she brings her characters to life.

I gladly join the chorus asking for a new spinoff show for Jenna Coleman as Lady Johanna Constantine! Jenna's portrayal of the role is so amazing and enthralling, that it would be really fantastic to see her again. Go and watch it (again!) right now!

@neil-gaiman thank you for casting Jenna in these roles.

[genshin-scenarios]

Bunny Day!

Summary: A late contribution to bunny day - where reader/you turned into a bunny!

Characters: Xiao, Zhongli, Childe, Aether, Xingqiu, Chongyun

Xiao

Was… Was he seeing this right? You turned into a what???

If Xiao was worried about harming you by accident before, he’s ten times more wary of that possibility now. You were so small, and soft, and… Okay, you were cute as well, especially when you started walking towards the qingxin flowers to nudge at them - but that’s not the point!

Xiao probably tries to look after you from a distance, but rest assured that if he ever felt like you were in danger, he’d swoop in faster than the wind to whisk you to safety! Xiao really doesn’t know how to care for a bunny though, so it’ll be an endearingly awkward day until he gets used to it!

Zhongli

This… Was not what he was expecting when Hu Tao came in this afternoon with a ‘surprise’ - Zhongli could sense your presence in the room, yet the only other being here was the bunny in the director’s arms. It didn’t take long for him to piece things together.

You spend a relaxing day at the Funeral Parlour - Zhongli works at his desk and brews the two of you tea (well, he drinks most of it, while you have a cup filled in your honor) - and by the time the Sun begins to set you’ve started to doze off to the sound of his voice. Bunny or not, Zhongli remembers that you always did like to listen to his stories.

Childe

Please don’t kick or bite him for laughing,, I know it’s tempting, but Childe is kind of your only option right now!

He mock-pouts and tries to appeal to you after you start to ignore his teasing remarks - just because you were a bunny now doesn’t mean you can’t understand what he’s saying!

After the two of you make up (aka Childe promises to buy you your favourite foods after this blows over) it’s actually pretty fun! He doesn’t really have work that day, so Childe brings you around the city and even lets some kids play with you (under his watchful eye, of course - they didn’t get more than petting your head since you’re not an actual bunny, but you did wow them with how smart you are).

Aether

Aether tried to find a way to turn you back, but it was quickly discovered that this spell would only wear off by the end of the day - so until then, the best the both of you could do was just to make sure you’re safe and not too stressed out.

You visit the picturesque spots from the places Aether’s been to before, and you spent quite some time appreciating meadows of flowers and listening to the bards perform at Mondstadt’s city. It feels safe with him, and your little heart doesn’t know how much more it can take when Aether smiles so dazzlingly - you promise yourself that you’ll return the favor and braid flowers into his hair next time.

Xingqiu

He might try to give you some carrots that he doesn’t want to eat; you don’t have to indulge him just because he’s calling your name cutely, though. Xingqiu’s war with that vegetable is his own to face and not even this form can move you enough to rescue him from its threat.

For the most part you spend the day on Xingqiu’s lap or leaning against him while he reads. It quickly becomes a habit for him to pet you absentmindedly, or to rest a hand beside him so that you could prop your head on it as a pillow. He also takes this chance to ask you some random questions, chuckling to himself when he sees you deep in thought despite not being able to speak.

Chongyun

Chongyun is trying not to let his condition get to him from how cute you are - you don’t even realise how adorable some of your actions can be. You tilt your head at Chongyun, waiting for him to snap out of his thoughts when he’s suddenly reminded of something you guys could do together.

In a general sense, he knows it’s probably not safe to bring a bunny to an exorcism, so Chongyun instead takes you to listen to Master Liu’s stories! Chongyun also discovers that petting you is actually really relaxing; a bunny’s coat is soft, after all. Who knew that this could be another way of getting his excessive yang energy under control?

[bugeyedfreaks]

If you don’t remember, a while back I posted up a really creepy Blossom doll that was for sale online, which was photographed in some unsettling murder warehouse (that’s the best way I can describe it). Today I was looking at Buyee as I tend to do to see if any weird and unusual PPG stuff has popped up for sale. I was not disappointed, yet at the same time… I was unnerved. Behold!

THERE ARE THREE OF THEM.

As far as I can tell, these are officially licensed figurines that are basically almost life-sized? …okay, maybe not life-sized, I think they’re like around 20 inches tall. I genuinely want to look up more about them. Like, who sold them? Where are they from? Japan exclusives? Why? To what end?

But what the heck?! THEY LOOK SO CREEPY AND HAUNTED. I’m convinced they’re actually haunted, mostly by the way they seem to always be photographed in some weird liminal space. Can you imagine putting these in a room and then turning off the lights? It’s impossible. You could never do it. Once you shut off the lights they would come to life and kill you (Bubbles is already poised to run and maim).

Anyway, there’s no way I would pay like $370 for cursed Powerpuff Girls dolls (the seller says they were $1000 when they purchased them… which, what?!), so if anyone here feels like going on an adventure… let me know if you get these and if you have to perform an exorcism on them (and record the exorcism and send it to me).

[rosexmary]

(This post isn’t gonna be informative lmao just a story telling)

So when i was like 15, me and my cousins used to go to haunted buildings to exorcise harmful spirits (don’t do this if you are a beginner spirit worker and minors shouldn’t do this by themselves. One of my cousins was an adult.)

“Who let’t their child exorcise spirits????”

Well my family does😂 and korean shamans usually let their children practice spirit work since they are very young. (If they are meant to walk on this path) we also have been learning and practicing it since we were very young. And we kind of had to do this because there were lots of harmful spirits in my town.

“Your parents could have done it though?”

My parents were actually against us exorcising spirits because they knew it can be dangerous but we wanted to do it.

When it comes to a powerful spirit, we called our parents and they exorcised them.

One day, we went to a abandoned apartment to exorcise. The apartment was very closed to my school so people in my school used to see ghosts a lot and they were obviously scared.

I wasn’t really good at exorcising spirits at that time i was just holding items we need to exorcise😂 one of my oldest cousins tried to perform the exorcism but it didn’t work on first try.

U know what happened next? The spirit whispered in my ear something scary. I can’t really remember what it said. Maybe it’s because i was scared or maybe it’s because of the ghost.

I kinda panicked because i didn’t have many experiences with harmful spirits at that time.

I screamed “AHHH” and the oldest cousin tried the exorcism again and again but it didn’t work.

We called our parents and yeah they successfully exorcised it.

The end~~~

LMAO yeah my childhood wasn’t that normal💀 it was really fun though.

[oneinathousand]

The stark difference in Brad Dourif’s performance as the Gemini Killer between the two versions of The Exorcist III is so funny, like

Legion Cut: It’s the smiles that keep us going don’t you think? Little giggles and bits of good cheer? 😊 🤭 😄 😇

Theatrical Cut: It’s the smiles that keep us going, don’t you think? Little giggles and bits of good cheer. 🙄 😒 😑 👿

I generally prefer the theatrical version of his performance, shoved-in exorcism notwithstanding, because I find his slower, more intense delivery really makes his lines sink in more, while I find the original version too… I don’t know how to put it, clipped?

And for stuff like the line I put above, I find in the theatrical version the contrast between the cheerful words versus the Gemini’s emotionless delivery of them very creepy, plus that whole part where he screams about Karras being trapped inside his own body until he stops to apologize for his raving hits harder, man, you really feel like the Gemini’s losing it at that moment.

And Jason Miller, man. He makes the name “Kevin” spine-chilling to hear. It makes the emotional stakes that much more apparent to actually see Karras’s body being possessed. Let’s say the circumstances around him weren’t ideal, but at least the filmmakers worked around it and we still got Dourif.

If there’s one thing I wish they referenced in either version, it’s the Gemini’s twin brother from the book who died in a mental hospital, because it actually does parallel Karras’s own struggles, and in some ways James Venamun and Damien Karras are reflections of each other, but as far as I know not even the book brings this up, though I haven’t read much of it yet so correct me if I’m wrong.

Both grew up surrounded by religion, Venamun in an evangelist household and Karras in a Jesuit one, but their lives were not easy, their experiences with religion not very positive, culminating in their worlds being devastated by the deaths of the people they loved the most and whom they were unable to properly take care of because of circumstances beyond their control (Venamun’s brother Thomas and Karras’s mother).

But while Karras would continue to help others as best as he could despite everything, Venamun used his brother’s death as an excuse to lash out and commit his horrible murders to shame his father, and so it was by their own choices that they turned out so differently.

All that to say I wonder if these parallels were intentional or not, but if so then I wish they could’ve brought it up subtly in the movie, you know?

[silver-stargazing]

Epilepticon Day 23:

In terms of misrepresentation, it’s always frustrating when I look at older films and they include the “stick something in someone’s mouth” technique. Granted, this was unfortunately considered a valid first aid technique at the time and the film makers may have even had good intentions including it (i.e. showing people how to perform “proper” first aid). Still, every time I see that in a movie, I want to hop into a time machine and throw current epilepsy first aid pamphlets at the film’s crew. 

Any modern media has zero excuse for including incorrect first aid like this, though, and I will spit fire if I see this presented as valid medical advice.

In terms of specific media that ticks me off over it’s misrepresentation: I definitely did not care for False Conclusion by Veronica Heley, wherein the “heroic” main characters are constantly horrible to an epileptic character and this is portrayed as good. Also, the epileptic character was actually gaslit into believing she had epilepsy, so that is also terrible.

I also could not even get through the film The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which is based in part on a real-life woman with epilepsy who died as a result of a lengthy exorcism process. The movie leaned way too close to implying she was actually possessed by demons which I thought was both disrespectful and incredibly harmful to people’s perceptions of real life epileptics. 

[looceyloo]

So, you haven't played a Twilight Cleric, but can you share a little bit about any clerics you have played?

Yeah! Unfortunately I have not had the chance to finish art of all of them, but heeere goes!

Thyra the human Tempest Cleric, who I actually played in 4e as a Storm Warpriest (lv10+ Clerics could specialize and become warpriests). She’s from an island of fighters devoted to Kord, God of storms and war. Because of how 4e worked, she ended up being mechanically more similar to a battlemaster fighter with healing and lightning magic I guess? High battlefield control, consistent damage output, tanky as heck. Probably the second most outwardly pious character I’ve played.

Kardah the half-orc War Domain Cleric, who I played in a short-lived campaign set in Eberron. She was a gladiator who bought her way out through the sheer martial prowess, and consequently devoted her life to the teachings of Dol Dorn. She was the party tank, though we also had a paladin. When she healed, it was flavoured as words of encouragement or exhorting her party to overcome injury.

Little River (Xiao He), the human Trickster Domain Cleric that I played in a Wuxia themed oneshot! I wish I could have played her more. She’s a farmgirl with a mischievous streak that got dragged into adventure with her brother. Her idol is the monkey king, of course.

Emi, Tiefling Grave Domain Cleric, for a single player oneshot set in fantasy east Asian amalgam setting. She’s a priestess on a pilgrimage, funding her travels with exorcisms and performing funeral rites. Quiet and less naïve than she appears. She’s very much a support character, which is funny given I played her in a single player oneshot (oops).

Atychia, Yuan-ti Pureblood (flavoured as half-Gorgon) Arcana Domain Cleric of Hekate in a Theros/Ancient Greek campaign! As a priestess of the temple of Hekate, she is singularly devoted to the preservation of magic and mysteries, and maintaining a delineation between the living and the dead. She never takes off her mask!

[bamf-jaskier]

So I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about how imbalanced Geralt and Jaskier’s relationship is in the show and while I might make another post about it, I don’t think anything shows that better than by comparing the Djinn scene in The Last Wish vs the show. 

For the set-up to meeting the Djinn in the books, Geralt and Dandelion are fishing together. They are both holding onto a line in and manage to haul in a 12 foot long catfish by working together and on the other line they have in the river  Jaskier pulls out the Djinn’s amphora. In the show, Geralt is hunting the Djinn in an attempt to try and get some peace of mind. Jaskier happens to run into Geralt and watches as Geralt pulls out the Djinn. 

Scene from The Last Wish:

“Ha!” Dandilion exclaimed again, proudly. “Do you know what this is?”

“It's an old pot.”

“You're wrong,” declared the troubadour, scraping away shells and hardened, shiny clay. “This is a charmed jar. There's a djinn inside who'll fulfill my three wishes.”

The witcher snorted.

“You can laugh.” Dandilion finished his scraping, bent over and rinsed the amphora. “But there's a seal on the spigot and a wizard's mark on the seal.”

“What mark? Let's see.”

“Oh, sure.” The poet hid the jar behind his back. “And what more do you want? I’m the one who found it and I need all the wishes.”

“Don't touch that seal! Leave it alone!”

“Let go, I tell you! It's mine!”

“Dandilion, be careful!”

“Sure!”

“Don't touch it! Oh, bloody hell!”

The jar fell to the sand during their scuffle, and luminous red smoke burst forth.

The witcher jumped back and rushed toward the camp for his sword. Dandilion, folding his arms across his chest, didn't move.

The smoke pulsated and collected in an irregular sphere level with Dandilion's eyes. The sphere formed a six-foot-wide distorted head with no nose, enormous eyes and a sort of beak.

Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Jaskier: Wow. Wow. What is- What is that?

Geralt: [inspecting the stopper] It’s a wizard’s seal. The djinn.

Jaskier: Do you mind if I- [He grabs the pot.]

Geralt: Jaskier...

Jaskier: Take back that bit about my fillingless pie. Take it back and then you can have your djinny-djinn-djinn.

Geralt: Let go.

Jaskier: No! No, let go, you horse’s arse! [Geralt accidentally pulls out the stopper. Jaskier upends the pot, nothing happens.] Hm. That’s a bit of an anticlimax. [A sudden breeze ruffles their hair.] Or is it?

Now, it’s important to note that the dialogue is actually quite similar when Geralt and Jaskier are arguing about taking the jar and the seal. However, where it really differs is the context. 

In the show, Geralt finds the Djinn and Jaskier takes it from him without asking and Geralt is clearly annoyed by this. 

In the books, Dandelion finds the amphora and Geralt doesn’t believe it’s a Djinn while Dandelion does and Geralt tries to warn Dandelion of opening it because he considers it dangerous. 

It’s the difference between Geralt being genuinely annoyed at Jaskier vs Geralt being concerned for Dandelion’s safety. There is a weird amount of contention between Geralt and Jaskier in the show that makes their relationship feels honestly unhealthy in many ways. 

Scene from The Last Wish:

“Djinn!” said Dandilion, stamping his foot. “I freed thee and as of this day, I am thy lord. My wishes—”

The head snapped its beak, which wasn't really a beak but something in the shape of drooping, deformed and ever-changing lips.

“Run!” yelled the witcher. “Run, Dandilion!”

“My wishes,” continued the poet, “are as follows. Firstly, may Valdo Marx, the troubadour of Cidaris, die of apoplexy as soon as possible. Secondly, there's a count's daughter in Caelf called Virginia who refuses all advances. May she succumb to mine. Thirdly—”

No one ever found out Dandilion's third wish.

Two monstrous paws emerged from the horrible head and grabbed the bard by the throat. Dandilion screeched.

Again, Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Jaskier: Djinn, I have freed thee, and as of this day, I am thy lord. Firstly, may Valdo Marx, the troubadour of Cidaris, be struck down with apoplexy and die. Secondly, the Countess de Stael must welcome me back with glee, open arms, and very little clothing. Thirdly-

Geralt: Jaskier! [He grabs the back of Jaskier’s top and pulls him backward.]

Jaskier: Wha-

Geralt: Stop! There are only three wishes.

Jaskier: Oh, come on, you always say you want nothing from life. So how was I supposed to know you wanted three wishes all to yourself?

Geralt: I just want some damn peace!

Jaskier: Well, here’s your peace! [He throws the pot to the ground where it breaks. Geralt bares his teeth and growls before he bows down to collect the pieces, missing the fresh cut on his forearm. The wind intensifies and Jaskier raises a hand to his throat.] Geralt… Geralt… it’s the djinn! [Geralt casts a magical sign at the black, transparent smoke rushing by. Jaskier doubles over and clutches his throat.]

Geralt: Jaskier. [Jaskier vomits blood.]

Again, while the dialogue is very similar, especially in the case of Jaskier/Dandelion some of it being word for word in fact, Geralt in the books tries to protect Dandelion while the only thing Geralt focuses on is the wishes themselves. As well, in the books, Dandelion’s injury in the books is due to his own folly and arrogance while in the show, the writers make it indirectly Geralt’s fault. 

It’s another weird choice that seems to suggest a dislike and a hostility between Geralt and Jaskier. It seems that even subconsciously Geralt doesn’t want Jaskier around. 

Scene from The Last Wish:

“A troubadour,” repeated Chireadan, looking at Geralt. “That's bad. Very bad. The muscles of his neck and throat are attacked. Changes in his vocal cords are starting to take place. The spell's action has to be halted as soon as possible otherwise…This might be irreversible.”

“That means…Does that mean he won't be able to talk?”

“Talk, yes. Maybe. Not sing.”

Geralt sat down at the table without saying a word and rested his forehead on his clenched fists.

Again, Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Chireadan: His throat was attacked. If the spell’s action isn’t halted as soon as possible, that damage might be irreversible.

Jaskier: Wha- [vomiting more blood]

Chireadan: And the longer he goes untreated, the more likely it is to spread. He could die.

Jaskier: [gasps] Fuck! Geralt.

Geralt: Uh... Yeah, we won‘t let that happen. [pats Jaskier’s back]

In the books, Geralt shows genuine concern for Dandelion and is heartbroken by the idea that he might not be able to sing again. Remember, in the books, Dandelion’s injury is a result of his own folly and Geralt still feels this obvious and clear sadness. In the show--he just has this awkward grimace and pats him on the back. He almost seems to be there out of a strange sense of duty and doesn’t seem to feel too much guilt about his part in Jaskier’s injury. 

Even when they are reunited after Yennefer heals Jaskier, it is very different in the two mediums (I actually want to do another post about Yennefer in Bottled Appetites vs The Last Wish)

Scene from The Last Wish:

“Dandilion!” Geralt shouted, holding Krepp back, who was clearly getting ready to perform an exorcism or a curse. “Where have you…here…Dandilion!”

“Geralt!” The bard jumped up.

“Dandilion!”

Again, Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Jaskier: Oh, Geralt. Thank the gods. I might live to see another day. We need to go. 

Geralt: Jaskier, you’re okay.

Jaskier: I’m glad to hear that you give a monkey’s about it.

Geralt: Let’s not jump to conclusions. What happened?

Geralt and Jaskier are overjoyed to see each other in the books meanwhile in the show Geralt is just...okay about it. 

And it’s really strange because Netflix!Geralt can show emotion when he wants to, he does with Yennefer in Bottled Appetites and Rare Species, he shows fear when she is with the Djinn and care when they are in the tent together and yet --- this emotion is not extended to Jaskier. This isn’t simply a difference of Geralt’s characterization.

In the show, the writers created an imbalanced relationship between Geralt and Jaskier where Geralt never asked Jaskier to be there. The bard is constantly inserting himself into Geralt’s life when he is not wanted and testing Geralt’s boundaries without permission. He almost seems like an invader in Geralt’s life and it makes it so that I honestly can’t believably see Geralt and Jaskier traveling together for 20 years. 

Dandelion and Geralt protect each other, care for each other and worry about one another. Even from the beginning of the Djinn incident, they were fishing together. Geralt and Jaskier on the other hand have a relationship where Geralt begrudgingly tolerates Jaskier while Jaskier plows along blindly. It’s not healthy on either side. Geralt is putting up with someone he doesn’t seem to have a genuine connection with and Jaskier is pushing boundaries and constantly talking to a man who has no interest in listening. 

There is no reciprocal relationship between Geralt and Jaskier and I think in the end that’s why there is this hostility between the two of them.

[pagetgram]

Paget Brewster in Criminal Minds “Minimal Loss” 4.03  Promo Photo

Criminal Minds' Paget Brewster Gets a Devil of a Storyline  (Article Below)

This week on CBS' Criminal Minds (Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET) Paget Brewster steps front and center when a rogue priest conjures up demons from Prentiss' past. Brewster gave us a preview of the episode, as well as mooned over upcoming guest star Alex O'Loughlin. 

Matt Mitovich - March 10, 2009, 6:55 p.m. PT

This week on CBS' Criminal Minds (Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET), Paget Brewster steps front and center when a rogue priest conjures up demons from Prentiss' past. Brewster gave us a preview of the episode, as well as mooned over upcoming guest star Alex O'Loughlin.

TVGuide.com: I hear we're getting a healthy helping of Prentiss this week.

Paget Brewster: Oh my god, it was exhausting! [Laughs] When you're on an ensemble show and you're messing around with everybody every day and you're not in every scene, and then all of a sudden you're in every scene, it's rough. I would not want to be Hugh Laurie.

TVGuide.com: The episode is titled "Demonology" and it says, "Prentiss has a personal connection to one of the victims in a series of deaths with religious overtones." Man, you can almost hear the thunderclap in the background.

Brewster: Basically we discover that a priest is performing exorcisms outside of the church guidelines. Bruce Davison plays a Catholic priest we go to for advice, and he tells us, "Hey, the church knows it's done, but there are certain guidelines you have to follow," and this "renegade" isn't doing that. The question becomes, "Is this guy actually chasing a demon or is this guy a serial killer?" If we get this guy, are we stopping someone from doing a good thing?

TVGuide.com: Bruce Davison is always a fun guest star.

Brewster: That guy is so much fun. One day he asked me, "Are you Brewster as in William Brewster from the Mayflower?' I said, "Yeah, how would you know that?" It turns out that my [ancestor] nursed his through influenza, at Plymouth! He gave me the book Mayflower, so I'm sending him The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell.

TVGuide.com: Might "Demonology" change the way we look at Prentiss?

Brewster: Possibly. She has a past and it's a little controversial, as to how she knows this victim, a friend of hers from when she was a teenager in Rome. She asks Hotch, "Can I look into this?" And then she uses her position as a federal agent questionably in seeking out the truth. And there is something that happened to her as a kid that..... Well, it's risky what they wrote. We'll see how people respond.

TVGuide.com: Speaking of Prentiss' past, will we ever learn more about her mother, the ambassador?

Brewster: What's kind of exciting is that at any time, the writers can create more history. But there's nothing else this season involving my mom, who is, of course, Kate Jackson.

TVGuide.com: There was an episode last season where Prentiss offered to become the guardian to a young victim. Do you think we'll revisit her desire to have children?

Brewster: I do, yeah. A lot of the female agents who we have spoken to, they work all the time, and they have a hard time just dating. It's an interesting conundrum. Do they choose this life where they're constantly working and dealing with the darkest side of humanity? All we've ever heard about Prentiss' dating life is, "It's grim out there." [Laughs] But that's what we hear from the female agents we talk to.

TVGuide.com: Of course, a band of fans want her to hook up with Hotch.

Brewster: I know! I didn't realize that fans make these videos on YouTube? A.J. Cook sent me a hilarious one that made it look like Prentiss and J.J. were having a secret lesbian affair. You know, when Hotch was blown up in the SUV, we shot this scene where he's in the hospital and I'm standing next to him, looking at his bleeding ear. Our director came in and said, "Paget, you're looking at Hotch like you're in love with him. It looks really weird." So now, every day, Thomas [Gibson] and I flutter our eyelids at each other.

TVGuide.com: Tell me about some of the guest stars still to come this season.

Brewster: Well, in this episode, I got the best of the best. In addition to Bruce, James Remar (Sex in the City) plays the father of the victim, and Walton Goggins (The Shield) is playing my childhood friend....

TVGuide.com: Have you shot the episode with Alex O'Loughlin (Moonlight) yet?

Brewster: Oh, Alex.... Alex sets all the girls into a twitter. Various departments were vying for Alex's attention. We just finished that this past Saturday morning, at 5:30 am.

TVGuide.com: Did Prentiss get a "moment" with Alex?

Brewster: No, No.... Prentiss had no moments with Alex! [Laughs] He's a cutie-pie! There's a little kid, Jake Cherry (Desperate Housewives), in that episode, and he's amazing too. All our guest stars are extraordinary, which we need to remember. We're there every day, and we have long-standing jokes with the crew, so we need to remember there is someone standing next to us, acting [as if] they're about to die or their child has been murdered. They're working up all this emotion, and we're hiding fart machines from each other. We're the most childish set, and we love it!

TVGuide.com: Are there plans for another explosive season finale?

Brewster: I haven't heard anything yet. We're doing 26 episodes, and most shows do 22, so we should have finished two episodes ago. It's a grind.

TVGuide.com: You need to stop being so damn good!

Brewster: [Laughs] We're just trying to make it to the finish line. I'm sure [the finale] will be shocking, but I don't know if they can blow us up again. They only did that last year so none of could ask for a raise!

[therealvinelle]

What if Bella got possessed by a demon in Twilight? Like pretty standard, The Exorcist type of stuff.

A lot of you anons should just head on to Ao3 instead of my inbox because whereever you went with this fic idea, I’m sure it’d be delightful. Lulzy, but an absolute delight.

Since you say Twilight, I’ll just set the timeline to the beginning of the series, when Bella has just arrived in Forks. She got possessed just before leaving, as Renée wanted to try an ouija board.

So, for the purposes of this ask, demons are real within the Twilight universe. They have to be very few and far in between, though, since humans don’t know about them and they presumably don’t care about following the Volturi law.

Bella is Reagan and the demon Pazuzu has taken up residence within her.

As happened in The Exorcist, this isn’t very noticeable at first. Bella starts saying some messed up things, yes, enough so that the other kids at school avoid her and the teachers give Charlie a call, but she’s not running down the stairs like a spider. Charlie is worried about her behavior and calls Renée about this, but he’s not dialing up any priests just yet.

Well, Bella gets worse.

Edward, for the record, was interested in this delicious smelling girl with the mystery box brain up until she started spouting profanities in the hallways at other students. Not being able to read her mind, he assumes Bella Swan is just like that. There’s no challenge, no reward, nothing to keeping her alive, his only real reason for not eating her at this point is Carlisle. Though his sheer distaste at that vulgar human who dares to tempt him so makes him resistent to drinking her blood, just out of spite. She’s not his perfect damsel with the delicious blood, and that ruins a lot of the appeal. Not all, mind, because that blood is still delicious.

Though it does help when she’s pulled out of school. Edward can pretend vulgar hamburger doesn’t exist, even as he ruffles through her wardrobe for sweaters to huff.

Back to Charlie, whose daughter is now running down the stairs like the spider.

He sends her to every shrink he can afford, has all the doctors in Forks look at her, and none of them give him an answer he can believe. He’s at his wit’s end.

And this affliction, whatever it is, that’s affecting Bella, it doesn’t seem natural, not human. She speaks in tongues, sexually assaults herself (yes, this happens in the movie), growls and hisses like an animal, in every way acts like- well, whatever it is, Charlie’s ability to deny that this his daughter’s affliction is supernatural in origin is growing thin.

But none of the shrinks can help him with that, and Charlie is a “lapsed Lutheran”, so I doubt priests is something he’ll consider all that seriously. He needs occult help, yes, but from someone who will actually help Bella.

His mind turns towards Carlisle Cullen and his children, and how Billy reacted when they moved into town.

Charlie laughed off his friends’ fears then, thought it was ridiculous to believe the Cullens could ever be anything but human. He dismissed their unusual looks as just that, unusual looks, their too-good-to-be-true cover story as them being that wonderful, and was quite happy about it.

That was then, now his daughter is fast becoming proof that the occult is indeed real.

And Dr. Cullen is so very kind, excellent in his work as a doctor and above all knowledgeable.

Say that Billy was right, that these guys aren’t as human as they appear. Well, that makes them the only people in the world, in Charlie’s world anyhow, who might be able to help.

Which is how Carlisle has the town chief walk into his office, tell him his daughter is possessed by a demon, and that Carlisle has to come over and have a look at her.

Now, as I think demons would be extremely rare, we’ll allow that Carlisle with all likelihood hasn’t seen any of these before. Quite the contrary, he was once a man who persecuted women suspected of witchcraft. He understands Charlie a little too well, but is also not touching this exorcism quest with a ten-foot pole.

Except, the chief seems convinced that Carlisle himself isn’t entirely human.

What would a human doctor do?

Carlisle really has no choice here but to come with Charlie. Besides, no matter how one looks at it what Charlie said about Bella is highly disturbing, the girl obviously needs medical attention.

So Carlisle has a look at Bella, and his “ahahaha we’re all human in here” smile quickly stiffens as he finds that whatever’s going on with Bella, it is indeed not human. She’s spitting green goo, talking Latin backwards, inhumanly strong, impersonating Carlisle’s father, and depending on how closely we follow Pazuzu’s actions in The Exorcist she may have killed a man. There’s scars on her body spelling out pleas for help.

It becomes clear to Carlisle that this girl really does need an exorcism. Or something, anyway, this is terrifying new territory for him.

But he has neither any clue nor the authority to perform an exorcism, and he lacks the network to get his hands on a human priest who’ll do this. More, even if humans could help (and considering how misinformed they are about vampires, the odds of that are extremely slim), involving more humans than have already been pulled into this would not make the Volturi happy.

There’s really only one place to go where someone will have the resources to help this suffering human, and that’s Volterra.

There’s a risk that demons are like immortal children and Aro will kill her on the spot, but Carlisle, still spooked from father Cullen’s voice coming out of this 17-year-old girl in the 21st century, has no other recourse.

So he tells Charlie he’s taking Bella somewhere Charlie can’t follow, and it’s likely they’ll never see each other again, even if Bella is saved. Charlie is devastated, but the promise that his daughter could get better means he can’t refuse. Just the fact that Carlisle isn’t entirely human yet benign makes him the best help Charlie is able to get her.

Carlisle takes Bella to Volterra, where Aro puts on his best Max von Sydow impression and says “Ah, demons... I’ve seen this once before, in the memories of a merchant from Ur...”

Knowing Aro while not knowing the lore of The Exorcist well enough to know what to do about a demon possession if you don’t have a Catholic priest on hand, I imagine Aro dresses up in whatever it is that Sumerian priests wore thousands of years ago (he always told Caius those bedazzled costumes would come in handy someday, and look who was right! VINDICATION) and tricks Pazuzu into possessing one of the humans Heidi brought in instead. This human is promptly killed. Ta-da, Aro smiles to Carlisle, he solved the problem!

Bella wakes up surrounded by insanely beautiful people in an underground palace in Italy and remembers nothing. Carlisle gets the honor of explaining to this human girl that she was possessed by a demon, Charlie asked Carlisle to fix it, and now the nice man who makes jingling noises whenever he moves because he’s dressed head to toe in gold wants her to be a different kind of demon because he can’t read her mind.

Bella caught maybe half of that.

Carlisle refuses to elaborate on the “possessed by a demon” part. No, Bella, you did nothing embarrassing, no one thought you were weird. We hardly noticed you were possessed at all!

But he was serious about that last part, Aro noticed she has a special ability so he’d like for her to become a vampire.

Bella, still, overwhelmed, makes a phone call to Charlie explaining nothing at all but assuring him that the demon is gone. She is then made a vampire.

Edward arrives too late to the party, so late that the party is in fact over, as he didn’t believe Carlisle when he said hamburger was possessed by a demon. Now it turns out that the disgusting, vulgar girl was in fact a delicate flower and a damsel in distress this whole time. Except, now she’s a vampire. Woe! Theirs is a love that never bloomed.

Bella has no idea who this guy is, and asks Renata to make him go away.

[wangxianficrecs]

❤️The One-Body Problem by metisket

❤️The One-Body Problem

by metisket

T, 29k, lan jingyi & wei wuxian, wangxian

[PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by SeaNoodle

Summary:  The good news is that Lan Jingyi has found a mentor, friend, and constant companion through the difficulties in life.

The bad news is that that’s because he’s been accidentally possessed by the Yiling Patriarch.

My comments:  ohmygod ohmygawd, I spent too much of this story just... laughing out loud and disturbing my cat and my husband. It's a HOOT. the combo of Jingyi and wwx (self-acclaimed shit-stirrers) is just pure effervescence. Of course, there's tons of tragedy, as a matter of fact, ljy gets all of wwx's horrific, tragic life second-hand and spends a good bit of time crying because SAD and it just makes him more determined to make him happy. But. His brain-roommate is dead, so hooking him up with lwj is right out.

They're just, an adorable team and Sizhui goes with it, and it's a partnership ljy is honestly happy to have last forever, but maybe a year is all he'll get....

This is such a favorite. I love it to bits: Lan Jingyi and Wei Wuxian, two of my favorite people.

Excerpt 1:  When Jingyi sleeps, so does the Yiling Patriarch, because apparently they really are sharing Jingyi’s brain in some weird way. That freaks the Yiling Patriarch out, but Jingyi’s not unreasonably tired or headachy or anything, so he decides not to be bothered.

The Yiling Patriarch can also do that “nap” thing, where he blips out totally for a while—though he has to be awake to do it, which seems weird. He says it’s like he’s hiding in a cabinet in Jingyi’s mind. Jingyi didn’t know he had cabinets in his mind. He’s learning all sorts of stuff lately.

…Theoretically he could shove the Yiling Patriarch into the cabinet himself, but he thinks that thought very quietly, and doesn’t plan to do it ever. So far the Yiling Patriarch’s been a very pleasant brain guest. Unless he loses it and goes on an unprovoked murder rampage, Jingyi has no intention of sending him to brain prison.

All things considered, it could be much worse. Like, what if the Yiling Patriarch really was the way he’s painted in class? Man, Jingyi’s body would be a puppet and he’d just be floating in jelly forever.

Excerpt 2:  “Is he ordering you to say that?” Zewu-jun asks, still with the suspicion.

“He’s been begging me not to say a single thing I’ve said so far, actually.” Jingyi hesitates. “Well, that was true at first. Now he’s just kind of crying from embarrassment in the back of my head.”

Zewu-jun’s mouth does a weird thing like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or scream.

“Anyway, he’s a giant mess who can’t admit to his own emotions and has all the self-esteem of seaweed,” Jingyi explains, ignoring Sizhui’s judgmental sigh. “They sure don’t teach you that about the Yiling Patriarch.”

Hey, seaweed might have great self-esteem. You don’t know.

Jingyi wonders if you can perform an exorcism on yourself by banging your head against a wall for a while.

sharing a body, lan jingyi & wei wuxian, humor, really really funny, sharing a brain cell, possession, light angst, ghost wei wuxian, (sort of), friendship, lan sizhui is the best friend, lan sizhui is the best boy, wei wuxian’s avuncular powers, matchmaking, oblivious wei wuxian, lan jingyi & lan sizhui, adorable juniors, teacher wei wuxian, happy ending, feel good fic, fic for a bad day, podfic available, favorite, @metisket

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